#trans guys stop having periods right.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asuyaka · 3 months

Text

Worst Gen. trio (+ Ace) with a transmasc reader!

★ - Absolutely frothin at the mouth ab Corazon n Law guys,,

☆ - Trafalgar D. Water Law, Eustass "Captain" Kidd, Monkey D. Luffy, and Portgas D. Ace x TM! Reader.

♡ - Reader has space-manipulation devil fruit powers! (❁´◡`❁) (only brought up like,, twice... oopsie!!)

— TRAFALGAR D. WATER LAW.

Law is a doctor, so of course he knows what to do when it comes to his boyfriend!

Always reminds you ta take off your binder if he notices that you've had it on for too long, and makes sure you take your T-shots on time!

If you've already had top surgery, your scars are somethin he's absolutely smitten over.

Genuinely, when you two getting ready for bed he always prefers you with your shirt off because something about your scars (or your body in general) s'so attractive ta him ??

Bein a doctor, he's always available ta do any surgery you want him to, as long as he knows the safest way to do it so you don't get hurt!

Law sat at his desk, a cup of coffee next to a pile of books with a lamp close by to illuminate what he was reading. He grumbles slightly, rubbing his eyes and taking a sip of his coffee.

You walk out of the bathroom with one of Law's button-ups and shorts, lazily rubbing your eyes and walking up to where your boyfriend is.

"You're a doctor and still won't go to sleep early?" You mumble into his neck as your arms wrap around his shoulder. He takes a deep sigh and lets his book down, bringing his hands up to rub against your arms.

Before you know it you've switched places with the book he was reading, now on his desk with a slightly confused expression, slowly turning into one of worry when you're finally able to see your boyfriend's face.

His eye bags have gotten worse and his posture makes him look like he's a shrimp. "Law..." You mumble worrily. He interrupts you with a hug, burying his head right underneath your surgery scars (that he did for you).

With a sigh, you pull him closer and rub his hair gently, feeling all the stress leaving his body. Law has always been one to overwork himself and not know when to stop, especially before letting go of his ties to Doflamingo.

"Do you want me to ask the others to get you tea?" You ask tentatively, keeping your voice soft just in case he's close to falling asleep.

He just grumbles and squeezes you closer, his tattooed fingers drawing air images on your pecs. "...warm..."

Giggling at Law's words, you press a kiss on his head and wrap your legs around his torso. The two of you stay together in comfortable silence until you feel his hands slowly fall from your chest and his breathing even out.

With a tiny smile, you use your devil fruit abilities to gently move the two of you onto the bed, situating yourselves so you don't wake Law up.

As you place the blankets over your bodies, you hear Law mumble something about a person named 'Corazon' and how the person was meeting his boyfriend—you— for the first time.

You place a soft kiss on his forehead, letting out a small giggle as he instantly squeezes you closer and buries his face in your chest.

No one would've thought the 'Surgeon of Death' Trafalgar D. Law was a cuddle bug at night.

Except you, of course.

— EUSTASS "CAPTAIN" KIDD. | DISCLAIMER: mentions of periods/mainly about gettin your period unexpectedly 'round Kidd, might be triggers f'some transmascs !! ヾ(＠⌒︶⌒＠)ノ

He genuinely doesn't care/didn't know that you're trans,,?

Tha first time he saw you with a binder on/saw your top surgery scars he didn't think much of it, genuinely thought they were battle scars.

It was only when he told Killer about them that his first mate told him in the most deadpanned and serious tone that they weren't battle scars.

n'he's so confused like ??? what are they then ???

After Killer explains what those scars mean he just,, doesn't care ?? All he came up with was that they're still battle scars, just not the same kind of battle.

His view of you doesn't change in the slightest, in his eyes you're still his boyfriend just with added customizations.

"Bath's fuckin hot," Eustass grumbled behind you, his metal arm wrapped around your waist as the scent of marshmallows wafted through the bathroom.

You relax into Eustass' boobs chest with a content sigh, letting all the tension in your body wash away with the bath. Through your daze, you hear Eustass grumble about how he forgot to bring his nail polish close so he could do his nails while resting.

With small movements of your finger, the bottle drops on your boyfriend's head, causing him to wince. "Fuck you." He mutters under his breath as he splashes some water in your direction, narrowly avoiding your face. "Love you too, captain."

You're sure Eustass rolls his eyes at that, mumbling something about how insufferable you were as he no doubt made a metal structure to help paint his nails as his other hand was occupied with holding his boyfriend.

Either you blacked out or took a small nap because before you knew what was happening, Eustass was shaking you awake with slight anger in his eyes, though you can easily make it it's all a facade because that's how he looks when you're hurt during missions. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt? You're fuckin bleeding everywhere."

Not all the way there yet, you look around trying to find the spot you're bleeding from because you don't remember getting any injuries that could cause bleeding to worry Eustass. He's gotten and seen his fair share of wounds anyway.

That's when you notice the blood is coming from between your legs, staining your previously relaxing shower with red. Embarrassment floods your mind as you shift away from him so the blood doesn't get everywhere.

""[Name]? You alright? If it hurts that bad I could call Killer or somethin—"

"No!" You say instinctively as your mind wracks to figure out a way to sort this out. "I'm okay, can you just... leave me alone for a few minutes?"

Eustass stares at you as if you've got two heads. "While you're bleedin' out? Just tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help, yanno?"

Your lips stay shut as more wetness flows down your thigh. You've dated Eustass for a while now, it's just the first time you've openly had your period around him—which shouldn't have happened in the first place since it's two days early.

Kidd is a naturally perceptive person around you. He likes knowing what things to avoid and never bring up, and what things you could talk about for hours, so he's made sort of a guess as to what's happening, but he doesn't want to bring it up in case you were uncomfortable.

Either way, though, you looked as if you were going to explode even if he left, so he decided to take the gamble anyway. "Is it that thing where you're like,, shedding?"

You turn to stare at Eustass with a blank face. "...Shedding?"

"You know! Like the thing where like you're ready to get pregnant and shit— I don't fuckin know what it's called!" The man grumbles, trying his best to push aside his embarrassment to make sure you're okay. "Still, don't you gotta get cleaned up and shit? Not sure it's healthy to stay in a bath of your own blood."

"All the more reason you should leave, Eustass." You mumble under your breath, yelping slightly when he lifts you up and lets all the water drain out, turning on the shower to help you get clean. "Naw, think I'm good here. Wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I left, would I?"

Realizing nothing you'd do or say was going to let him leave, you let him do whatever it was he needed to do that made him a 'good boyfriend'.

He took a shower with you, practically not letting you move a muscle until he was sure all the blood was off you. When you two were done, he tossed an extra big towel on your head before leaving to go get a few things from the kitchen.

You quickly got situated, putting on your clothes and other needed accessories before landing on Eustass' bed, hands over your tummy as pain surged from your lower half.

You hoped that sleep would get its grubby hands on you quickly so you wouldn't have to deal with it alone. As if it was mocking you, a harsher tingle worked its way up your body, eliciting a small whimper out of you.

A few minutes later, Eustass walks in with a cup of hot tea and other snacks. "Dunno what you wanted so I grabbed anythin'. You alright?"

You nod, even though you know you aren't; and by the look on your captain's face, he knows you're lying too. He doesn't pry though, only sets your body between his legs and your head on his chest, handing you the cup. "Careful, s'hot."

"Killer said I'm supposed to make sure you're well hydrated and shit, so you don't die."

You sip down the tea gingerly, stifling a giggle. "I'm not sure I'll die from cramps, Kidd."

"It's what he said! I don't know how this shit works." Eustass rolls his eyes and pulls you closer, using all the metal in his room to make a miniature version of himself and you for entertainment.

With a small content smile, you relax against your boyfriend, holding the arm he had on the lower half of your stomach. "I think whatever it is you're doing is working just fine, Kidd. Thank you."

His cheeks turn as red as his signature lipstick, rolling his eyes and trying to play it off. "Whatever, it's the least I could do for you. Even if you're annoying."

"Mhmm, I love you too Eustass."

— MONKEY D. LUFFY.

Almost like Eustass, but 10x worse.

If you wear a binder and he sees it, he's like "why do you have two shirts on ????"

And if you have surgery scars, he thinks it's the best thing ever that you two have matching (not really) torso scars!

When he asks Chopper why you suddenly get sick every month, the doctor looks at him with wide eyes,, he doesn't know ???

Chopper, just tells him to ask Robin, who tells him with a kind face to ask someone else.

Ends up asking the entire crew as his frown slowly gets deeper because why is everyone keeping a secret about you—his husband (you two aren't engaged at all)— from him ?!?!?

Demands Sanji to tell him after running around the Sunny for the tenth time, and he's just like... "Ohhhhh! Wait, why was everyone hiding that from me?????"

He just realizes you're like Yamato but the only difference s'that you two are dating!

The place smelled like a hospital, your brain foggy as you try to feel your surroundings.

Your eyes slowly open as you try to sit up—a stinging pain from your chest sending electricity through your body. "Oh, you're awake! Has everything settled down yet?" A voice asks from a chair nearby, though all you can make out from the shape is a comically large blue hat and a pair of antlers, right beside another comically large hat with black spots dotted around it.

Groggily, your eyes trail down to look at yourself, trying to find the source of the pain flowing through your body. That's when you see the bandages around your chest with tubes underneath them.

The realization hits you like a brick. Your surgery, the days spent stressing as the date got closer, the surgery. "Chopper? Is it— did the surgery go okay?"

The reindeer smiles and it feels contagious. Law stands up with a huff, throwing a mask in the bin and using his devil fruit to replace himself with Luffy.

Luffy looks a bit disoriented for a bit, relaxing when he realizes where he is. Then, he locks eyes with you and you think he cracked the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face. "[Name]!"

Before he gets the chance to throw his body at you, Chopper switches to Human Point to punch him in the head, quickly reverting back to look at you with serious eyes. "Yes, the surgery went well, but there are some things you can't do for a while."

You nod your head feverishly, gripping the sheets as you try not to squeal from excitement.

Chopper explains how you should avoid doing any strenuous activity, like fighting and training. Making an extra point to tell you not to let Luffy drag you into dangerous situations. He says that you still have to do mild exercising, i.e moving around and maybe going on slight jogs but nothing too over the top like Zoro's training.

Finally, he gives you and Luffy time alone; excusing himself to go talk with Law about some doctor-thing you couldn't give two shits about.

When the door clicks shut, Luffy sits in front of you— his expression blank but his eyes focused on the bandages around your chest. "This means you don't have to do the binding thing anymore, right?"

You nod.

"And, you're happy about it?"

You nod again.

Luffy stares at it for a bit longer, raising up a finger to poke it slightly. A small wince forces its way out of your mouth. The wounds were still fresh after all, it hurt like a bitch. Luffy apologizes with a small peck as his usual happy-go-lucky expression forms on his face. "Wanna know what I just thought of?"

You can't help the grin that forms on your face, cocking your head playfully. "What did you think of, Luffy?"

"We have matching scars now! Shishishishi!" Luffy smiles even wider (if that's possible) and grabs your hands to hold it against his. You notice that he isn't as hyper as he is normally, and in the back of your mind, a fondness spreads through you when you realize it's because of Chopper's warnings.

"You're still so pretty, you know?" Luffy whispers, as he cautiously climbs on top of your body, stating himself so he stays clear of your chest, as much as he wants to lie down and rest his head there.

A warm flush spreads across your face as your fingers comb through Luffy's hair. He shifts up and presses a quick peck on your lips, giggling as he does it again but on your cheek. "My husband is soo handsome!"

"Lu.." You trail on, giggling as you rest your hands on top of his. "We aren't even married—"

"Yet!" He interrupts sharply. "We aren't married yet! And when we do, we'll have a big wedding and invite everyone! Oh, oh, and we'll have Sanji cook meat! With a meat cake, and meat wedding rings, and meat desserts, and meat—"

You interrupt him with a kiss, running your hand through the back of his head as your fingers slightly brush against the straws of his hat. You pull away with a dopey grin on your face and Luffy stares back at you with one equally as dorky. "Just promise you'll marry me soon, okay, Luffy?"

"Shishishi, of course, I will!"

—PORTGAS D. ACE. | DISCLAIMER: mentions of period cramps and [NAME] thinking that period cramps doesn't make him a man anymore ! (>'-'<)

He's surprisingly quick to figure it out!

From the random getting "sick" moments every month, to the refusal to let him hug you from behind, he pieced everything together easily.

After all, he grew up around Izo and a very supporting crew!

The first person he asked about it was his pops. He didn't know if he was supposed ta tell you up front or let you tell him yourself!

Dunno what he thought was gunna happen, Whitebeard jus sent him off to Marco or fuckin Blackbeard. Whitebeard might be good at a buncha things, but anything romantic was not his strong suit.

After a bunch of nothing from Marco, and actual advice from Izo, he figured out how he'd do it.

Ace had his hat resting on his nape, yawning as he walked into the room he shared with his boyfriend. "Love? Are you in here?"

He notices the top of your head from under the covers but you're hunched up, curled into the sheets, and cuddling a pillow for dear life. Worrily, he climbs into the bed with you and holds your shoulder. "Love? Are you sick again?"

Meekly, you nod. Trying to keep your discomfort under wraps. Ace already had things to deal with trying to become 2nd Division Commander, he didn't need his boyfriend annoying him about cramps.

Not that Ace knew you were trans—or at least you hoped he didn't know. You don't even know if he would accept you. After all, men don't get period cramps.

You sniffle, trying to keep those thoughts out of your head, but you can't help it. What if Ace finds out and decides you're too disgusting to be near him? What if he doesn't think you're a real man? Would he be angry that you deceived him? That you made him live a lie for the past three years?

The thoughts don't feel like they're stopping now—it's already gone out of hand. What if he told Whitebeard and he decided to throw you overboard for making a lie out of his son?

Not that Whitebeard would ever call you that, you aren't even sure if you are a man.

"...Love, love can you look at me? You're hyperventilating right now, do I need to call Marco?"

You quickly shake your head, trying to stop the tears from flowing but everything feels like it's too much, or like you're overstimulated. The cramps hurt and your mind won't shut up about lying to Ace about three years, three years of hurt, love, and everything in between, wasted because you couldn't tell him something with your chest.

"I'm sorry— I'm sorry Ace!" You sob, instinctively curling into his warm chest and trying to stop being a crybaby. Ace has dealt with more serious things, having been the son of Gol D. Roger and struggling to find out if he deserves to live.

You being whiny over something that was entirely your fault wasn't something you wanted to bother him with, but it doesn't look like you have much of a choice. "What is it? C'mon love, deep breaths okay? Breathe with me, inhale..."

Your lungs expand as you take a deep breath in, following Ace's instructions. You try to focus on something else, the warmth of his body, how his hands are slightly dry from his devil fruit, the soft waves hitting the ship in a soft ambiance, anything to stop thinking of those unsavory thoughts.

When Ace notices you've calmed down, he places you in the middle of his legs, his hands resting on the lower half of your tummy as he rubs gently; the heat adds an extra layer of comfort, even if he wasn't aware of it. "Do you wanna talk about it, Love? We can just go to sleep and cuddle, if you want."

Ace is worried, obviously so. You rarely have breakdowns like that and a part of him thinks it's his fault. "I'm not a man..." He hears you coarsely whisper as your bloodshot eyes stare into the bedsheets.

"What do you mean, love?"

He watches you sniffle, trying to recollect yourself before you start speaking again. "I was, born a woman. And as much as I tell myself, real men don't get periods, they don't have breasts and they don't have—"

"But... you think of yourself as a man, do you not?" The man behind you asks softly as he spreads his fingers against your tummy.

A nod.

"Then that's what you are. No more of this 'real man' shit, if you say you're a man, then that's who you are. Izo's a man, and he had periods before... well, before doing whatever it was Marco did to him, but no one out and started calling him a girl anytime he did get them, right?"

You feel your chest start to tighten again, but you nod. Albeit shakily.

Ace intertwines one of your hands together, lifting you up so you're resting in his lap and pressing his cheek against yours. "Then why would I not love you, even if you were trans? I fell in love with you, because you're you. For fucks sake, you could be a cat and I'd still love you; but then I'd have to be a cat too so we could be cat boyfriends... Yeah, we'd definitely be boyfriends in every universe— imagine it!" He says excitedly as stars practically shine in his eyes.

"We could be um... birds, cats, dogs, the sun, and the moon! Ooo, we could be food too! Like salt and pepper, or—"

"You'd still... love me? No matter what I was?" You ask shyly, craning your neck so you could look him in the eyes.

He cocks his head. "Did you not just hear me say I'd love you even if you were a pepper shaker? Dummy, you've gotta get your hearing checked!" He presses a plethora of kisses on your cheek, only pulling away when you've been turned into a blushing and giggling mess.

"Yes, I'd love you no matter what you were. You'll be my boyfriend forever, you know? Never gettin' rid of me, love!"

You giggle, letting Ace continue his kiss attack on your face. "Like anyone could get rid of the infamous 'fire-fist Ace'."

He grins, one so bright it makes you remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. "Got that right! Now c'mon, let's cuddle and think about each other as cat boyfriends in our dreams, I've gotta fight Marco tomorrow to decide who's the better fire user!"

You shake your head. "Ace, love of my life, Marco is a phoenix, not a fire user."

"Ah, tomato, tomatoe, who cares!" He blows a raspberry, taking off his hat and placing it on the bedside table, not letting go of his hold on you once. He shifts the position so he's spooning you, his warm hand still on the spot your cramps hurt the most.

He presses a kiss to the back of your head. "Night, Love."

And before you can say goodnight back, Ace is already snoring asleep beside you.

266 notes · View notes

wilbursprincess · 3 months

Text

Wilbur Helping His Partner With Their Period Headcannons

Wilbur Soot x Gender Neutral Reader

*I use gender-neutral terms in these headcannons because not everyone who gets their period is a woman, and not every woman gets their period. My non-binary best friend gets their period. My trans-masc friend gets his period. I’m a woman who doesn’t get her period. We accept everyone here!*

Warnings: Blood, periods, mentions of pills and medications, a lot of fluff but no smut :)

I have super severe Endometriosis, meaning when I got my periods (I’m on some meds to stop mine), it was pure hell. It’s been so long since I’ve had my period (at least the blood part lol, I still get the pain constantly) that I didn’t even know who Wilbur was when I got them! Now when I’m stuck on the sofa from excruciating cramps I just want him to hug me :’)

ANYWAY MOVING ON- headcannons below cut :D

~He would feel so helpless. Not because he couldn’t do anything, he did everything you needed and more, just helpless he couldn’t take away the blood and pain.

~Can Wilbur cook? Not that well. But during your period? He’s either cooking all your cravings or getting them Doordashed so he doesn’t have to leave your side.

~If you track your period on an app, you’d share the data with him so he knew what was going on. Not only did it make him feel closer to you, he’d make sure to get notifications a few days before it starts so he knows to stock up on your favorite brand of pads/tampons and snacks.

~Have you seen those man’s hands? Perfect for rubbing your belly if it’ll help the cramps.

~Has a bad habit of stealing your heating pad if you get up for a moment. Always apologizes with kisses and chocolate.

~I personally think Wilbur’s a bit squeamish around blood (esp since he mentioned HATING vomit on stream) but he’d be an angel if you accidentally bled on the bedsheets. He’d usher you into the shower to clean up while he remade the bed without a complaint.

~You’d practically live in his clothes. Oversized hoodies and baggy sweatpants all the way.

~Wilbur would be amazing at keeping track of when you take pain meds, writing it all down and bringing more to you when it’s time. Probably has the dosage number and timing memorized.

~He’s already a snuggly guy, but during your period? You’ll be lucky to get 10 minutes not wrapped in his arms. Wilbur claims it’s to comfort you, and he’s almost right. However, he’s also a big fan of the heating pad.

~Would sometimes come home with a little gift for you if you’re having a nasty period that month. Little plushies, a new book you’d been eyeing, fuzzy socks, anything to make you smile.

#princesswrites #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot fluff #mcyt fluff #wilbur soot x gender neutral reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x gender neutral reader #mcyt headcannons #wilbur soot #princesshcs

101 notes · View notes

the-laughing-lunatic · 10 days

Note

headcannons for spy, medic, scout, and sniper, with a transmasc S/O?

(Hell yea man, trans guy myself so this is right up my alley B) Thx for requesting! :D)

Spy, Medic, Scout and Sniper w/ a trans masc S/O!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

☆Spy☆

He took up drag both femme + masc in his younger years to help his disguises, so he’ll help you look more masculine

“Mon chéri, you really must stop using gauze to bind, it is not doing your chest or yourself any favors. If you don’t have a proper binder you can use pantyhose, you know.”

He’d take you to help you get a tailored suit and put on a tie if you were never taught as a child

When you get the horrors (dysphoria and or period ) he’ll stay with you to help you in his smoking room

“Darling, will you please stop grabbing my knife so you’ll respawn without your period? It’s not gonna work, you’ve tried it before.”

“Ugh, fine. …can I pretty please get a kiss then?”

“...You’re not getting the cyanide in my teeth either.”

“Come on!”

☆Medic☆

He’s pretty well versed in this kind of thing, as an ex-doctor who isn’t bound by the law at all he’s definitely performed gender-affirming surgeries in secret in the past (for the price of a few unnecessary organs or course)

He’d offer to do your top + bottom surgery for the boyfriend discount of not stealing any of your body parts

He’s completely fine if you don’t want that though

“It doesn’t matter what you have in your pants, schatz, what matters is that you have a man’s heart.”

“Aw, Ludwig—”

“And a man's kidney, lungs, ohoho! And an especially manly appendix.”

(it’s medic he’s gonna be a little silly)

The second you mention you’re on your period he immediately gets so much stuff for you, painkillers, a hot water bottle, blankets and snacks for you

Will pamper the hell out of you

If you’re getting hit with dysphoria he’ll reassure you

“I just- I just don’t feel like a man right now.”

“You? Not a man? Nonsense! If you weren’t a man, I wouldn’t be dating you, now would I?”

“I know, but-”

“But nothing, you are sehr männlich, and my mein Freund, those silly thoughts won’t change that.”

☆Scout☆

You’re gonna need to help him out a little bit

“So like– you’re a guy right? But you got a girl’s body or whatever, so is this gay or not?”

“It’s gay, Jeremy.”

“Okay, okay, just double-checkin’.”

If you’re on your period he tries to help in the main way he does with you: cuddles

He’d wrap his arms around your waist from behind and hold you and the hot water bottle pressed to your stomach close to him

Kisses your neck and just rambles about how handsome you are

“You’re a real hot guy, y’know that, prince? Jus’ makes you even stronger that you go through all this shit.”

“Shut up.”

“You picked the wrong guy to date if you wanted someone who could shut up, hotcakes. You’re stayin’ here and hearing about how handsome you are for a while.”

☆Sniper☆

Bro does not give a shit imma be real

“Mate, I couldn’t care less whether or not you’re a gal, a bloke, or a bloody alien. You’re sweet, and ya make me smile.”

Def relates to you with not fitting in with the other kids in childhood

If you’ve had top surgery y’all are chest scar bfs

When you get dysphoric he’ll get you two to do stuff to distract you

[quick, instantaneous, sudden] camping trips, hunting, hiking, or even trying to shoot at the blu base for funsies

Can’t be dysphoric when you’re running for your life, right?

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#Tf2 #tf2 x reader #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 x reader #spy tf2 #spy tf2 x reader #medic tf2 #medic tf2 x reader #scout tf2 #scout tf2 x reader #sniper tf2 #sniper tf2 x reader #tf2 headcanons #x reader

68 notes · View notes

a-faggot-with-opinions · 9 months

Note

you mentioned something about how the way gay trans guys are treated leading to some of them reidentifying as femme enbys or just woman and I’m personally in the latter. i socially detransitioned because i couldn’t take the amount of lateral aggression i got as a trans guy who was only into men from my own community irl and online.

i didn’t stop taking T because it just helps a lot of my chronic pain and I prefer the body hair/no period/etc. but i think it speaks volumes that i get treated kinder for essentially being a butch gnc straight woman than an openly queer and trans male. My personal tipping points were having an ex-friend of mine (nb lesbian) try to convince me i only liked men because i was sexually assaulted and I just needed to ~try~ girls, and a cis gay male college acquaintance who told me to my face that I would always be a girl to him (he never knew me pretransition btw).

Maybe i’ll reidentify as a trans guy someday but right now it’s just safer to exist like this. I’m effectively still the same person but switching to calling myself a woman suddenly made everyone more… ok with everything about me? I don’t know how to feel about it but i just wanted to say you’re correct that there’s pressure from within the community itself for us to detransition.

That's really sad. Thank you for sharing, though. I hope that you'll be in a better place and more comfortable being who you are at some point in the future. Non-transmascs be normal about trans gay men challenge (impossible).

#asks #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisandry #long post #examples of transandrophobia

182 notes · View notes

drdemonprince · 3 months

Note

Hi Devon,

this might not be a question you can answer, or maybe it is! idk. this is about covid & alike

for context on myself, i’m a white gendrfucky trans guy who’s also autistic & an immigrant (so some cultural context is probably lacking)

as we know, we’re in a 2nd highest surge & the pandemic never stopped and it increasingly dangerous and disabling to so many

i wear my kn95 everywhere i go now, and while i tried last semester, it was a lot easier to abandon masking because of

1. others’ around me negligence

2. some classrooms being IMPOSSIBLY hot and close to unbearable with a respirator on

3. attending crowded events where people needed to hear me

i’ve reevaluated and am rebuilding my practices now, but what i’m finding really difficult is to get people i have in my life to wear a mask again

i feel so lost. i share the informational posts, i talk to my people, i offer masks- what else is there to do?? i know the exhaustion i feel is absolutely incomparable to what disabled and immunocompromised people feel, especially when they’ve done the work for years!

i just don’t understand how i’m supposed to keep moving through life. i mean ofc i’ll keep doing what i’m already doing but it’s so incredibly isolating to be the only person masked in a meeting of 20,30,50 people.

i don’t know how to make people care. i don’t know how to have conversations with my friends in a way that will let our relationship evolve with this new understanding of care. i don’t know how to not polarize people into defensiveness when i talk about the powers wreaking atrocities in falasteen being the same ones shortening an isolation period to 1 day.

i don’t know how to be eloquent enough to be listened to and firm enough where people take what i say seriously. i don’t know how to not start screaming WEAR A MASK anytime it’s a crowded (or even not crowded) meeting indoors with no air filtration.

idk how people don’t realize the “cold” they’ve had for 3 weeks is either covid or direct aftermath of it. idk how they stand for seemingly the right things and then come to work sick & unmasked.

i don’t know how to engage with most people in a meaningful way & find connections because the delusion, the “it won’t happen to me”, the “i don’t care if i catch it and die”, the “this is just the way it is” seems to be a wall made of unbreakable cement and i don’t know what will melt it.

i feel insane for having compassion towards the world and seeing how it can be better. i feel insane for being angry people don’t mask & downplay this issue. i feel insane for even trying to talk sense into people.

i’ve recently been called a lying phony by an account that talks about masking bc a lot of my recent pictures show my face without a mask. i archived the posts since, apologized and reflected. but a lot of pictures i take are in my own room so i am unmasked. idk

i feel like the gap between me and most people i know is growing wider by the minute and with every reading i do about interdependent revolutionary practices, etc.

i know that when one understands something, it is their responsibility to make an impact on their bubble of the world and transform it with their knowledge. but i doubt i’m the only one doing the reading and knowing what’s going on, i just seem to be the only one masking.

i don’t know. i’m sorry it’s such a long ask & i’m sure you have your own stuff you’re dealing with. i just don’t know who else to ask that might understand. i’m sure there are people around me who might but so many are in survival mode and i currently don’t know anyone with the capacity to hold space for this.

i guess it’s bold to assume you do.

anyway, i hope your day goes alright today<3

You are placing wayyy too much responsibility upon yourself as one compassionate and informed individual here, and expecting far too much perfection of yourself in ways that do not help you and do not help the cause. You've done a lot to unpack the terrible individualism that has led to anti-mask sentiment being so rampant, but you are in a way still applying that logic to yourself and your situation by imagining that if you, one humble person with limited power were able to be adequately persuasive, you'd somehow change the actions of thousands. That is not how behavior change works.

Persuasion almost never happens logically or instantly, almost never through one person's remarks. Behavior is shaped by a vast array of economic, sociological, emotional, and ideological factors.

It's also not helpful in my opinion to worry about the opinion of someone who would shame you for not wearing a mask at home alone in your bedroom, either. Obsessing over the optics of our actions and wanting all people to morally approve of us at all times is yet another consequence of individualism and Puritanism. as you well know as someone who masks in a crowd of maskless people, sometimes we gotta do what we know is right and disregard others' opinions.

What you can do, in my opinion, is this: keep masking. Your behavior reminds people of the need for masks and models socially responsible behavior. Bring spare masks with you. Offer them to your family and friends and the people standing near you in public. If they refuse, and you have a good relationship with the person where they have shown they respect you and listen to you, then you can tell them why masking around you is important to you. You cannot change the opinion of someone who has never shown you any respect so don't expect that to ever work.

Even if you do have a good relationship with someone, persuasion is a long, hard process. Do not expect yourself to change their mind. If you can get some people to mask at least around you, that is a victory. Perfection is an unrealistic goal here to expect of yourself, and for public health in general. Any improvement you can inspire is a victory. Even if it's just making one or two friends mask more often when they are with you. That still lessens risk. That still sends a visible signal to everyone around you. You have no idea of the impact you truly have on other people in the long term. It is both more modest and far larger and longer-reaching than you as an individual will ever know.

Please be easy on yourself. You are just a person. An average person with very limited power. So is everyone else for the most part. When you stop burdening yourself with the unrealistic responsibility of changing thousands of people's behavior, you will feel less resentful toward others as well. When we resent other people it always means we are doing too much.

And when you feel less overwhelmed and overburdened, you will be more effective in the conversations you do have with people about COVID too. People do not respond well to (what they perceive to be) guilt or intensity or someone presuming to know better than them. What people do respond to well is to be asked genuine questions, listened to, validated in their feelings, given help where they are facing barriers to action, and being treated with compassionate gentleness.

But to do that you have to work on believing that people who are flawed in their response to COVID have reasons for doing so that make sense to them, and that they aren't all foolish and lacking in compassion. As my friend @kim-from-kansas says, people do not do things that do not make sense. If a person's actions do not make sense to you, it is because you are missing a piece of their context. The sad fact is people have many reasons to think that masking doesn't work or is hopeless. People have been very heavily propagandized and trauma also makes many people value life less.

Convincing people to take COVID more seriously is a tall, tall order, but if you wish to do so, you will need to be more than correct. You will have to put real work into not making people feel judged, and you will have to make peace with not always (or even usually) succeeding. It sucks but that's how it is. Best of luck!!

54 notes · View notes

slithymomerath · 9 months

Text

Another post about TransTape

I decided to stop reblogging the same thread because it was getting really long and just make a new post. Here’s the original. (I should mention that I identify as a trans man now!)

I’ve been using TransTape for about 2.5 months now. Every time I apply it, I do it slightly better. I’ve understretched it (final result: hm, looks like tape on a breast), overstretched it (final result: it’s slowly tearing my skin open over a period of days, awesome (don’t worry, it wasn’t that bad, I’m mostly just being dramatic. Also while it was on there it looked awesome, super flat. Beauty is pain)), and every type of doing it wrong in between. I was reading this blog by a trans man and he mentioned that he used TransTape for years and continuously found better and better methods, and I think that’s going to end up true for me too. However, I’ve gotten good enough at the moment that this has become my primary binding method. This is how my application looks nowadays:

As compared to me in a sports bra and a binder, respectively:

Pretty good, right? And all the same benefits I’ve talked about before: extremely comfortable, no rib squeezing, can leave it on for multiple days, can sleep in it, having bare shoulders/back. It doesn’t really itch noticeably anymore. And the application in that pic isn’t overstretched, it’s perfectly comfortable. It’s my favorite application so far.

Some more notes I’ve ended up with:

- When you’re applying the tape, don’t think of it as “I’m using the tape to pull my chest into place”, think of it as “I’m using my hand to pull my chest into place and then using the tape to secure it”. Still stretch the tape while you’re using it to secure your chest, but take your tensionless anchor parts on both ends very seriously. Made a huge difference for me, way less overstretching and way better results.

- Recently I’ve stopped doing the alternate methods discussed in my previous post and gone back to the original way they show in the videos. I think pulling your chest to the side is more impactful than pulling it up in the overall look of it, and whatever you do first will have a greater impact. The biggest reason I didn’t want to go horizontal first was that my vertical piece would pull on my skin and make a wrinkle of it that folded over my horizontal piece and that was super uncomfortable, but turns out that’s just a symptom of overstretching/not taking the anchor part seriously enough and making sure it’s attached with no tension to both your skin and a small part of the previous tape.

- I tried the medium size instead of the large. I think if I was going for optimal results it (or even small size) would be best, because I can use three total pieces of tape and get another bite at the apple of pulling my chest to where I want it. However, I’m more going for comfort/not a giant hassle putting it on, so I prefer my two pieces of large tape at the moment.

Random thoughts:

- I love that I can take my shirt off if it’s hot or during sexy time and feel like a shirtless guy, not a person with a mildly uncomfortable article of clothing still on. This is enhanced by the fact that the nude color is a pretty good match for my skin.

- I have an appointment about HRT in Aug, so I’m really hoping it’ll cause my chest to deflate a bit and then my binding will be even more rad!

Feel free to message me with any questions about my experience :)

#trans man #trans masc #transman #transmasc #transmasculine #trans tape #transtape #tape binding #transtape binding #trans tape binding #chest binding #campost

115 notes · View notes

cuntboyprincess · 1 year

Text

(Disclaimer: This post shall in NO WAY sexualize a minor!!! It is simply a representation and explanation of one of my traumas and therefore my resulting kinks!)

I remember when I first came out to friends and my parents as trans when I was 12. I had very small-no breasts. SO much "damage" could have been prevented....

But I was not allowed to take blockers or do anything about it before I haven't turned 18.

I remember how absolutely traumatizing it has been to be so powerless and helpless as puberty hit me and when my body changed right before my eyes. My hips getting wider, getting my period, my breast getting huge. I have always been very thin and petite build, so my breast seemed extra big compared to the rest of my body even when they had a normal size. And there was no way to stop it. It didn't help that the boys at my school had a habit to grope girls every now and then to "check" if their breast have gotten bigger yet. I know it's sooo fucked up but I swear this really happened at my school and the teachers did nothing about it because "boys will be boys". The got lectured about how they shouldn't that but did it anyway...

I have been a victim several times to this and have been groped against my will by sometimes several guys in a row behind the school building as they were laughing about it, thinking it was nothing but funny. But to me it was more than humiliating since I was trans and my breasts made me highly dysphoric. It was sexual harrassment and bullying right before everyone's eyes and nobody stopped it, no teacher, no one.

It felt soooo horrible to have such obvious boobs. I was binding my breasts everyday by the age of 15, basically living as a tomboy but not officially outed as trans. One time one of the boys actually did pull my shirt up and another one holding me and pulling my binder up in front of 4 other boys, they all laughing about me and calling my boobs udders and jokingly gasping saying how huge they already are.

I was dying out of shame and it made my boobs my absolute biggest insecurity ever. I felt SO exposed wherever I went, I felt like everyone is staring at my chest..

When I was 17 and an end to it all seemed "nearer", I was not far away from turning 18 and being allowed to start t and have a double mastectomy; my boobs had to extra humiliate me one last time, as if they did it on purpose!!

They had a major growth spurt and within just a few months I outgrew my binder and had a D Cup. Which looked gigantic on my small, thin body. I will never forget how dysphoric they made me feel and the helplessness as they appeared bigger each week. I know it probably wasn't as bad but I basically FELT like a cow with huge milk tits in my body.

I was the happiest person alive when I finally turned 18 and when I finally got my mastectomy!!!

For years I had a major trauma by these experiences as you can imagine.

But eventually this turned into a hardcore kink, maybe it fucked me up mentally so much that this was the only way left to cope with it.

Nowadays I masturbate sooo often to these memories! And to thoughts of still having my huge, jiggling tits, people staring at me, at them, either laughing, looking disgusted, making fun or simply being confused about what I am (man or woman). Just being totally and helplessly exposed. I even bought big, realistic silicone tits with nipples on them, and a skin glue and pleasure myself for hours to groping them as I wear them and make them jiggle on me. Sometimes I contemplate ....wearing them and a thin tshirt where the nips are visible through it, walking around somewhere outside as they noticably and obviously bounce around, making sure some random people actually see me looking like an obvious transman who didn't have chest surgery yet, nor wears a bra... And then masturbate violently to their reactions and face expressions....

What gets me off so hard as well is the fact how much my bullies fucked me up and wondering what they'd say if they could see to what I masturbate to now and all the kinks I got from what they have done to me... 🥵

#detransition kink #fakeboy #ftm detrans kink #ftm girl #detrans kink #ftm kink #ftm misgendering #ftmtf #ftmtf kink #humiliating kink #misgender me

169 notes · View notes

rybonucleic-ket · 1 year

Note

what evidence is there that kyle is trans in your opinion. i actually think there's more evidence for tran stan.

I mean bet send me all your trans stan ev I'm interested

there's a whole episode of kyle insisting that his vagina doesn't have sand in it.

and he's pretty regularly insisting he's not on his period.

like i mean whatever if he said 'I don't have a vagina!!' or 'I can't get my period dipshit, cartmans a dick and jokes about it all the time, kyle just says 'I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!' 'I'm not on my period, cartman'

actually, with regard to getting his period. "I can just say I got my period! it's not like they'll check. i can just say i got my period because I really will get it one day. it's not really lying, just jumping the gun a little."

in the metrosexual ep, kyle gets made fun of for being really uncomfortable wearing feminine clothes "I like being a filthy, dirty little boy!"

sheila: "you see, kyle, sometimes a person's outside doesn't reflect who they are on the inside."

kyle: "yeah! that's right!" (*looking at his chest* 🧐🏳️‍⚧️)

sheila: "they feel like they're somebody trapped in another person's body. and so, they can have a surgery that makes them more into the person they see themselves as. do you understand?"

kyle: (*smiles* *man had his hands on his chest the whole time sheila was talking 🧐🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🧐🧐🧐*) "totally! I totally understand!"

"I guess what I'm saying is I'm starting to feel a lot of guilt. just for being a boy." (when guys were talking shit about women online)

guy on tv: "scratch your balls."

kyle: 🤨😟🤔 *confused*

guy on tv: "or, if you don't have balls, scratch whatever else may be doen there."

kyle: *shrugs* *lol ok then* *scratching*

I mean, one of the major pieces of evidence imo are cartman's jokes. typically, if a joke of cartman's refers to something impossible or inapplicable, kyle calls him a dipshit, huffs in exasperation. but.

"kyle's just got a little sand in his vagina."

"I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!"

"our culture tries to make us ashamed if we don't have slim stomachs and perky little tits like kyle!"

😐

"and who wants to take a little pamprin so their menstrual cramps stop bringing everyone down? Kyle. *raises Kyle's hand*"

"Alright, fine."

"god takes your period away. apparently it makes you really irritable. i was thinking maybe that's why kyle's been grouchy lately, cuz he's going through menopause."

"dude, shut your fucking mouth!"

*over intercom* "may I have your attention, please? mrs. broflovski, your tampons are available at the front desk. thank you."

*upset cartman called him a girl* *grumbles*

so yeah. kyle broflovski trans. real.

actually tho send trans stan ev!!

#kyle broflovski #south park #trans kyle broflovski #asks #inbox #anon #thank you for the ask!

218 notes · View notes

monstrousproductions · 2 months

Note

hi dad, a few weeks ago you mentioned that you used to have really bad period cramps, and I’m wondering if you have any advice for how to make them more manageable. i’m getting my arse kicked by back cramps, and most of the advice online assumes the reader’s gender (which could be fine, but somehow they never assume that the reader’s a trans guy. alas.) i’ve taken some Advil and am trying to drink more water, but aside from distracting myself with fanfiction i’m not sure what else i should try. any tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated :)

Hey kiddo! I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is the WORST - not just the initial cramps but the gender bullshit on top of it.

I never found a good long-term solution (apart from going on testosterone) but hot water bottles and heat pads were really helpful. And I know our beloved @aestheticcluttercore has been having some good results with one of those zappy things you put on your tummy, but I've never used them so can't speak to it.

Also if I'm right in thinking Advil is ibuprofen (American brand names are not my strong suit...) then it can get a little boost if you take it with paracetemol at the same time. Obviously don't take medical advice from a random Dad on Tumblr though - read the labels and all that good stuff! [EDIT - Just been reminded by a reply on this post too that you should always take OTC painkillers with a little snack. It'll stop you getting a sore tummy and iirc can help the medicine make its way into your bloodstream better!]

Followers, any suggestions to help a guy out?

#monstrous askbox #cw menstruation #public universal dad

27 notes · View notes

sweet-demiboi · 1 year

Text

Billy Hargrove x Male!Reader

Warnings: abuse and face slapping (Neil towards Billy), hurt-comfort (M!Reader and Billy), use of a homophobic slur (you guessed it: Neil), steamy making-out at first, but nothing sexual, so can be read as asexual/poc ig, also I feel like there are many grammar/spelling mistakes (it was late when I wrote it okay), and I took the dialogue between Neil and Billy (and Susan) from the series, it's basically copied word for word (hope that's okay) and put in my own/M!Reader's thoughts or feelings, trans friendly

This is not for Fem!Readers! You guys, go enjoy your own stuff, but please neither interact with this nor read it, thanks.

You couldn't be happier right now. You were sitting in your boyfriend's lap, making out with him in his bed.

Metal was playing in the background, but you didn't care for the music that much. Kissing Billy was far more important than listening to some tunes right now.

Your hands were on his neck and you could feel his caressing your waist. Billy started littering your neck in soft, open-mouthed kisses.

You brought your hands up in his hair with a smile, if somebody had told you three months ago that you would be in a relationship with Billx Hargrove, you would have sent them over to a psychatrist.

But here you were - you never would have thought Billy would be a soft guy either. He had been very hesitant at first though over the time he would demand hugs, cuddles, kisses and all that.

Not often verbally, he would rather sit a little closer to you, take your hand without a comment or throw some puppy-eyes at you.

You were always very glad to provide physical touch for him, always giving a little more than he had asked for. He never complained about it, but was rather happy that you took those steps for him.

Over that period of time he had slowly opened up to you about his situation at home. That his father was a douche-bag and his mom was gone.

You didn't blame him for not telling you right away, you knew that that could be very hard. You had let him take his time, never pressuring him to tell you something.

Except for when you found bruises while making out or wanting to have sex. You would stop everything you were doing to ask him if he's okay and who did that.

Then you would take care of these wounds as best as you could and shower him in love afterwards.

Over the time you had earned his trust bit for bit up until the point where you could communicate only through looks. You could tell by the way he was standing if he was comfortable or not, and by the way his voice sounded.

The more time you spent together the more Billy would talk about his issues and would listen to yours. It was kind of like you were healing together.

You came back from your thoughts when Billy sucked a hickey into the skin of your neck, which made you moan quietly. Your boyfriend chuckled and gave you a smug grin.

When he opened his mouth to say something you heard the door falling shut.

"Guys, we're home!", shouted a woman's voice, you could hear her walking up the hallway.

Billy's face twisted and you could make out an expression made of pure horror and fear. His pupils became as small as a needles head and he whispered "Shit", Billy's body was all tensed all of a sudden "Shit, shit, shit"

He shoved you off of him roughly, pushing you in the direction of his closet "Don't make a single sound", he demanded.

"Okay", you knew why he was so panicked and you were so angry at his father for being the reason.

"Not a single sound!", Billy looked behind him quickly, still an expression of fear in his eyes "Or he'll kill you", you only nodded at that, then Billy closed the door shut.

There was a knock on the door of his room "Billy?", clearly it was the voice from before. Billy's stepmom, you figured.

"Yeah, I'm a bit busy in here, Susan", Billy answered, you assumed that he was hiding all your stuff. For example, shoving your shirt and sneakers under his bed.

Billy looked around for anything he could have missed, because he was sure of his father tagging along and getting in his room sooner or later.

"Open the door! Right now!", there he was. An abusive man in all his glory.

Billy took one last deep breath and went across his room to let the two adults in.

"What's wrong?", he tried to keep up a facade of confidence but even over the music you could hear the fear. You prayed to every god above that his dad wouldn't notice.

"Why don't you tell us?", Neil definetly was already annoyed. And he sounded mean. You had never met that man before and this first impression wasn't a good one.

But to be honest after holding Billy in your arms, countless nights while he was crying his eyes out because of the abuse of his father, you didn't think there would be any chance for this man to seem nice to you.

"Because I don't know", answered your boyfriend.

"We can't find Maxine", that was the stepmom again - Susan? You didn't really care if that was her actual name.

"And her window is open", Neil.

Fuck, Billy sweared in his mind. His sister definetly needed to be more careful when she snuck out of the house.

He and Max were actually getting along pretty well over the past weeks. That was because of you, at least partially, as you thought of Max to be pretty cool. You had encouraged both of them to talk about their issues with each other so both would have a safe space/person to go to right in their house.

"Where is she?", of course Billy didn't know. How could he? He had been busy with kissing you, which he did not regret at all.

It should be Max taking responsibility here he thought to himself. He didn't understand why he was the one who would have to take care of here all day. It wasn't fair.

"I don't know", he answered truthfully

Neil scoffed at that "You don't know?"

"Look, I'm sure she just, I don't know", Billy turned away from his father, walking back into his room. He had to do something or else he would fucking break down from nervousness "Went to the arcade or something. I'm sure she's fine", he hoped.

Neil was going after him. The blonde needed a plan, one that would get him out of here. Almost automatically he grabbed his leather jacket he had thrown over a chair earlier and put it on. Now he would only need an excuse for going out.

"You were supposed to watch her", Neil sounded angry, crossed his arms and stood in the middle of the room like a demon on fire. Billy could basically feel his skin burning under his father's glance.

He sighed to relieve some tension and at the same time to seem authentic "I know, dad. I was.", and now he was going for it.

He would play risky: "It's just you guys were three hours late, and, well,", he needed an excuse, now "I have a date" His father wouldn't want to get to know that person anyway, so it was a pretty good idea for getting away from here. He would just have to get you out through the window or something.

"I'm sorry, okay?", he threw on the jacket and turned back to his father, ready to face whatever Neil would throw at him next. Verbally or physically.

"So that's why you've been staring at yourself in the mirror like some faggot instead of watching your sister?" True, Billy was dolled up more than a little and he was dating a guy, but his father didn't actually think that. He just wanted to insult his son. You were disgusted by that man's behavior.

And homophobia, of course. It was basically something every asshole had up his sleeve, as well as being a mysogynist and a racist.

Billy on the other hand, who had been thaught all of this in his childhood, was now open to women being smart and people of color not being evil. He had needed time to see through his prejudices and not treat these people differently, but it had been easier with your help.

"I have been looking after her all week, dad. Okay?", now Billy was just annoyed by all of this situation. He couldn't watch every step Max took.

His father looked at him flabbergasted, not being used to Billy talking back to him that much.

"If she wants to run off, then that's her problem, all right?"

Now he could actually talk about everything he thought, it didn't matter. He would be punished afterwards anyway: "She's 13 years old. She shouldn't need a full-time babysitter."

Billy turned to turn off his music "And she's not my sister!" He had only said that to show his father, that he wasn't responsible for everything Max did. And he was angry himself by now, too.

Hell, he didn't want to hold out his head for her every time she did something wrong. Because he would get punished for it physically mostly, and she would only have to listen to a half hearted, annoyed talk of her mom. It just wasn't fair.

Then there was a loud crash. Neil had shoved Billy against a shelf. You slapped a hand over your mouth to not let a cry out. Listening to your boyfriend getting abused hurt you in your deepest feelings. You felt incredibly sorry for Billy for having to suffer like that.

The blonde was now staring into his fathers eyes, keeping his chin high in an attempt to keep his cool. But in reality he could already feel the tears in his eyes.

For a few seconds there were only pants and grunts paired with the eyecontact. Billy could feel his heart going absolutely feral in his chest because he knew what would be coming now.

"What did we talk about?", asked Neil in an utterly calm voice. Billy didn't answer.

Then his father punched him right in the face. Leaving a red hand-print on his cheek.

You were in shock. You would jump out of the closet and fight Neil in an instant if you didn't know that that would make it only worse. So you stayed silent, your hand still over your mouth, choking down the tears.

You felt as if you weren't allowed to cry when clearly it was your boyfriend being abused. You wanted to help him, but you didn't know how. The only thing you could do was pray for this to be over soon.

Neil pulled Billy's face back in his direction by his chin, then he raised a finger at him and repeated his question with that calm voice again making you absolutely furious: "What did we... talk about?"

"Respect and responsibility", said Billy. He had to push the words out past his tears and he was sure of his eyes being all red by now.

"That is right.", Neil looked at his son without any emotion a father should feel towards his child. Billy's stomach always hurt from that look. It was that look which made him feel unloveable.

You had changed that. But right now he couldn't remember the softness of your voice when you told him again and again, or your hands treating his body like the finest treasure in the world. Your eyes when they looked at him with pure admiration or when you showed your love with soft lips on his skin.

You would make sure of him remembering all of that later, for sure.

"Now, apologize to Susan."

Billy looked in the eyes of his father and a few long seconds passed before he choked out a "I'm sorry, Susan."

"It's okay, Neil, really-" You almost chuckled at that statement bitterly. Was that woman still thinking of her behavior being okay? Did she think she couldn't do anything about this situation anyway?

You hoped she didn't feel okay, because it wasn't. She should do something about that abuse and you didn't understand what was holding her back.

She probably didn't care enough about Billy to do so. Which really made you hate her. He was only 17, almost 18. And this was going on for god knows how long. She should have protected that child.

But also, she must've been scared for Max to get hurt if she spoke up about it. That you could understand. And Neil was the attacker here. She helped him subconciously though with not doing anything.

It was too much to wrap your head around for now. You could do that later.

"No it's not okay.", said Neil "Nothing about his behavior is okay." Well, you thought In that case: Like father like son, huh?

Billy had done nothing wrong. You made a mental note for yourself to remind him of that fact as well.

"But he's gonna make up for it." Although Neil talked to Susan, he was looking into Billy's eyes while doing so, which made the blonde feeling even more bad.

"He's gonna call whatever whore he's seeing tonight and cancle their date." Luckily, Billy wasn't actually meeting anyone this particular evening. Well, he had, but Neil had already ruined it.

And Neil finally stepped back, now facing Susan. Billy took a shakey breath in. Having his personal space back felt good.

"And then he's gonna go find his sister.", Neil continued "Like the good, kind, respecting brother, that he is." He looked back at Billy with those hard eyes.

"Isn't that right, Billy?" The blonde, at this point, was so shaken up that he wasn't able to answer in the first place. His heart was racing, and his head spinning. He couldn't think clearly and there was a pain in his-

"Isn't that right?", his father asked, rather screamed, again. He stepped back in front of Billy whose eyes widened a little. He had to pull himself together a last time.

"Yes, sir.", his voice was quiet and he almost didn't hear it from the sound of rushing blood in his ears.

Neil didn't, either: "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." He spoke just as silent as Billy, probably to mock him, to make him seem weak. You could've jumped at that man's throat.

Neil spared Billy another hard glance through cold eyes. The teen gulped and replied, louder and clearer now: "Yes, sir."

"Find Max.", and with that they were gone.

Billy's hands were shaking and two silent tears rolled over his cheeks. He slammed the wall with his fist and then hid his face in his hands in an attempt to calm himself.

He hated his father with all of his heart. He really did. But he never managed to punch back. After Billy had taken a deep breath in to calm himself he closed the door to his room. This time he locked it, just to be sure no one would burst in unexpectedly.

Then he turned to the closet - he felt uneasy when he walked over though he opened its doors immediately. He was hesitant at doing so, but then your soft eyes were looking at him, making his heart flutter (in a good way).

You noticed that Billy had cried silently, which made your stomach twist and turn in hate for Neil. How could somebody do this to their own child?

Billy helped you out of the closet wordlessly, not looking you in the face right now. That was fine, you knew how shaken up he was right now.

"Can I hug you?", your voice was barely louder than a whisper. You knew that physical touch was helping Billy with feeling comfortable often.

But not now, as he shook his head and gestured to the window "Can you-?"

He didn't need to finish his question, you immediately understood what he wanted from you. "Of course", you grabbed your stuff from under his bed and quickly threw on your shirt. Your shoes would have to wait - you figured it would take too long as Billy was impatiently waiting by your side.

So, you jumped out in the garden barefoot and walked down to where his car stood. You tried your best at being quiet and made yourself as small as possible so that Neil wouldn't see you out there.

While you waited at the camaro you got your converse on, then the front door opened and Billy jogged out. He wanted to get away from this place as fast as possible.

You both got in the car without saying anything, then your boyfriend started the engine and drove out of the drive-way with screeching tires. You thought about what you could tell Billy to make him feel any better for the entire ride.

"Can you stop here, please?", you asked, breaking the silence. You were on an empty road, near a forest. The chances of somebody driving past you at this time were very low.

Billy did what he was asked for without even looking beside him, when the car was parked he didn't move. You assumed that he was still in shock from what had just happened.

"Can I take your hand?", you were already offering yours, while smiling at him sadly. Billy was very hesitant but after a few seconds of debating with himself he let you grab it. He still didn't look at you though.

"Your father had no right to do that, because Max being gone is not your fault. I hope you are aware of that.", you lifted his hand up and gently kissed his knuckles "You did nothing wrong.", you whispered on the soft skin "You did nothing to deserve this."

With the next look Billy shot you, his eyes were all teary again. He started to cry and you immediately leaned over to him, engulfing your boyfriend in a hug. He himself slung his arms around you as if you were an anchor (which, metaphorically spoken, you probably were to him).

You felt your shirt becoming wet from his tears, which made you go bitter. Whenever you had the chance of fighting his father, you would take if immediately. Without a second thought, you would try to kill this man.

"I'll protect you as best as I can from him", you whispered in Billy's locks, pressing a kiss to them only a second later. You caressed his back with your hands in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable.

"I love you so much, Blue.", you had to blink a few tears away. You really did love him and seeing Billy in so much pain hurt you.

"I love you too", were the first words you heard after that accident "Thank you for being here"

"I will always be there for you", you promised. Billy pulled back from your hug to press his lips to yours in a wet kiss. You ttok his face in your hands gently, wiping a few tears from his cheeks.

You would do absolutely anything in your power to protect this guy in your arms. He was worth it.

392 notes · View notes

kazumiwrites-fanfiction · 9 months

Text

Surprises, Surprises

SUMMARY: Azul is full of surprises, and you are too. WORD COUNT: 2.1k (wow)

WARNINGS: Trans male reader (he/him pronouns), canon divergent (it branches off after the prologue), Azul being Azul, insecurities (mostly Azul), mentions of dysphoria, mentions of transphobia, mentions of periods & period products

A/N: Give me more trans & male readers because games like this are never given enough of that- (especially in otome-like games) I apologize if this became really OOC but I uh. I tried. I haven't written for months- (this whole thing reads like a crack fic to me even though I was 100% serious while writing) Uh anyways so maybe this won’t be relatable for most but this is how I view my non-cisness. If this gives anyone dysphoria I’m sorry because I genuinely haven’t written for non-gender-neutral readers in a while (and I always used to write only fem readers) so uh. This is basically a self-indulgence fic because Azul is one of my favs. I love the three Octavinelle boys- My summary-making skills are dying guys

You never expected to land in a school for… boys. Obviously, since you were magicked away by some external force, it would seem odd that the magic that had isekai’d you would automatically put you in a school with hordes of cisgender men. I mean, technically the magic should categorize you as female, right? Not that you were complaining, of course, it just didn’t make much sense to your head. Hey, at least the Dark Mirror is supportive…?

Truthfully though, you were glad. And you quickly fitted into your weird life with stranger and stranger people. They never suspected that you were anything other than a cis male. How could they when you never said anything, and you were more confident by the minute? Sure, sometimes it felt like there was something off about you… But they always tried to rationalize it.

It helped that Ace, Deuce, and Grim, the three who were always with you, didn’t seem to be very bright. Of course you loved them, but they definitely needed to study more on their tests and exams. You had had enough with the scoldings from all of the teachers, especially with Grim. Of course, since you were technically half of a student, you had to get scolded alongside the little furball.

Classes that didn’t involve the use of magic went fairly well for you. Especially since Grim didn’t get the chance to mess things up (at least, not often).

Even though you didn't have magic, you could at least try to stop Grim from doing the obviously wrong thing during class (such as dozing off, pouring the wrong thing into a mixture, etc).

The one thing you were glad about in this whole mess of things was Sam. He helped you get period products (for a reduced price as he knows you're going to be coming often anyways). Anytime someone asked about it, you always brushed it off as nothing. Obviously you weren't going to tell them and get a fallout from that. Sam was basically the only person who had known that you were biologically a girl, out of necessity. At least he understood and was supportive.

As you blearily walked through the halls of Night Raven College, you sighed softly. You could never get used to the throngs of people in the many hallways that led to class. It was definitely one of the biggest schools that you had attended. And the fact that you always had to get woken up by Grim yelling at you… It sucked.

In your half-asleep state, you didn't notice a boy with a slightly eccentric gray jacket striding toward you. Not surprisingly, you bumped into him and lost your balance. You mumbled a small apology as you caught yourself, eyes flickering up to meet his gaze.

You froze slightly. This must be the infamous Azul Ashengrotto. You had heard about him from rumors, how he created contracts that came with a price. You had learned enough about Night Raven College to know that you should probably stay away.

Seems like you were a moment too late, however, as you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped in surprise before the boy that was behind you came to stand in front of you.

"Boo," he said with a soft giggle. His hair was teal, and he had a sharp grin on his face… Must be one of the Leech twins.

You blinked slightly, unimpressed. "Sorry, I kind of have to go…" You gestured slightly, cursing Grim mentally for just leaving you behind. Obviously the most caring creature you've ever met.

The teal-haired male frowned ever so slightly. "Koebi-chan, you aren't going to stay? C'mon, come play with us." He looked plaintive, almost like a kicked puppy.

Ebi? Oh, shrimp. Why was he calling you shrimp… That wasn't the point, you really did need to go.

"Come, Floyd, we can't stop kantokusei-san from going to class. Let him be a good student." Another tall, teal-haired boy popped up. Must be the other twin. It surprised you that he would have known your name - but you shouldn't have been. You were close to being famous yourself in this school, after all.

"Yes, Floyd, let us leave him alone." Azul spoke up, and his voice was very smooth - too smooth. One of a liar, perhaps.

You nodded slightly with a small, tight smile as Floyd let you go, quickly making your way to class. You let out a soft sigh of relief as you saw Grim's familiar face, him talking about how you were such a 'useless kobun' and how you should be 'grateful that the Great Grim is still with you even though you're so useless'. You weren't listening to it at all, just grateful that you had escaped the three Octavinelle boys (which Grim got mad at later).

You wished Lunch came sooner. You were always starving - maybe it had to do with the subjects that you didn't know anything about that you were being forced to learn. And to remember, as Grim wasn't one to remember anything. You sighed softly, gripping Grim by the scruff of his neck as you carried your tray (which had his food as well) to the table where you usually sat. At least Grim hadn't done anything too bad, like stealing. But still, he came really close, and you really didn't want to take any chances. Soon, Ace and Deuce joined you, bickering lightheartedly, and you all started talking and enjoying your lunch together.

Just when you thought you could relax, a familiar voice scared you with a 'boo' and then a laugh. You inadvertently let out a yelp, making the voice that you knew was Floyd's laugh again. "Koebi-chan, you're so funny, you're gonna make me want to scare you more!"

You turned to glare at him, but before you could speak, Ace grabbed your arm. "You know the Leech twins?"

"Yes, and I don't want to talk about it." You sighed, shaking your head. Before you could say anything else, a figure walked closer to you, and you sighed. Please, don't let him sit with us…

But it seems that whoever you were pleading/praying to didn't listen, as Azul Ashengrotto just sat down beside you. He was very obviously acting like he didn't care what was going on, but he was poised, waiting for you to talk. Definitely a smooth businessman, then.

You stared at Ace's and Deuce's gaping faces, feeling slightly amused for a moment before quickly turning back to the matters at hand (Grim didn't notice, he was too engrossed in his lunch (and would take yours too, if you weren't careful)). Even as Floyd was whining and Jade (who popped out of nowhere) was dragging him away, you still watched Azul. "So… Are you going to talk about why you aren't sitting with your friends?"

"I just wanted to get to know you, since you're a new student and all." He turned wide eyes on you, and you almost let down your guard. Almost.

"Nice try. You're just trying to get the better of me, aren't you. Let down my guard so you can create a contract with me?" You raised a brow as you watched him.

"Oh I would never. The mere thought that you would think this wounds me." What a drama queen. "I just wanted to get to know you, as one student to another."

Yeah, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. You knew you couldn't do that - it was against the rules. Still, it was particularly hard when you were pretty sure he was saying blatant lies. But you knew you had to play nice.

You put on a big, charming smile, one that felt like it could make you sick with how sweet it was. "Well, sure, I'd love to take you up on that offer. If you really don't want to hurt me?"

"Of course I wouldn't hurt you, who do you think I am?" He shrugged slightly, looking slightly disappointed in you. "I only want to help people."

Yup, definitely all an act. "All right. What do you want to know?"

As your conversation went on, you felt your guard gradually fall. He seemed to be very nice, and whatever you told yourself, it didn't seem like he was a bad person. You almost liked him. All too soon, the bell rung and lunch was over. You bowed your head to him slightly in thanks with a small smile, genuine this time, before turning to meet the two Heartslabyul boys' gaze, as well as that of your little gremlin. "What?"

"…Nothing," Deuce said before Grim started assaulting you with loads of questions, such as where did you know the guy, he looks really smart, do you think he could help us study, etc. You just shook your head, telling him that he should study on his own and that you were help enough.

Still, Azul seemed to be popping up quite frequently, which was always odd. Sometimes the twins were with him, sometimes they weren't. Although you were initially confused by who was who, you gradually started to remember their faces and voices enough to tell them apart. Although they seemed scary, they really weren't (although they did have their times… Especially Jade. You wouldn't put it past him to be a killer in disguise).

Azul just seemed to get odder and odder to you. You knew he was probably using you, but why would he keep on interacting with you? There was no way that he liked you or anything, after all.

Still, you found yourself gradually liking the time you spent together. Even Grim was commenting on how he was losing his kobun.

He did have his times of depression and withdrawal, but as he got closer to you, he gradually started to confide in you. About his worries about his appearance, about his feelings that he was powerless. That he needed more power, that he needed to shed his past.

And some part of that made you pause because it reminded you of yourself.

How you always tried to fit the mold, how you never felt right in your own body.

How you didn't know what to do when you think two completely different things about yourself.

You didn't tell him that you were trans though. Not yet. You couldn't destroy this little moment of peace in your lives.

It was selfish, you knew it was, but you couldn't help it. You were used to rejection from the people you cared about, even from other people who were around you, who didn't know you. So you continued to wear a delicate mask, hiding your true struggles.

Still, it got to a point where it was too much. You couldn't keep it from him anymore. You had to face your fears, even if it got you hurt.

So, taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door to the VIP Room. It was open most of the time (to you, anyway), but you always had to check. You were terrified of coming in while Azul was making a deal - who knows what kind of scoldings (or worse) you could get.

After hearing the words 'come in,' you walked in hesitantly. Azul had been shuffling some papers around before he looked up, seeing you. A small, genuine smile was on his lips. "Hello, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Almost immediately after he finished speaking, you blurted out, "I'm trans," and, in a big rush, you quickly ran away.

Azul for his part was confused and a little concerned. Had he heard you right? Trans? That was where a person's gender identity was different… Hmm. So did that mean you were a girl? Or a boy? He wasn't sure.

You, on the other hand, did not know the confusion you were putting the housewarden of Octavinelle through, just sitting inside Mostro Lounge. You knew you could've run farther if you wanted to… But too late for that thought, as Jade had found you.

Without a word, he took you back into the VIP Room (without much protest from you), where you had to meet Azul's gaze.

"…So. What pronouns do you use?"

You blinked. That was… Unexpected. "Uh, he/him," you got out. "I'm a boy. Was born as a girl, but I don't like to talk about that." You shrugged slightly.

Azul looked startled for a moment before he caught himself, and he seemed to be unsure on what to do.

"Uh… I'm still the same old me, you know."

"Yes, of course. I was just… Thinking about the similarities that we must have had in childhood. Especially the not liking appearances part."

Oh, absolutely. "Yeah… Yeah, there is that." There was a strange comfort that came in knowing that he also had felt similar (if not the same) things as you had. That he wouldn't judge you.

"Oh, and uh, by the way, I like you," you said after a moment. "Since I'm done keeping secrets."

You were definitely not prepared for the explosion of flusteredness that ensued from the octo-mer in front of you.

A/N: Yeah might do a part 2 if I get enough requests (and I don't get burnt out - I shouldn't be writing, I need to be doing summer homework-)

#kazumiwrites #twst #twisted wonderland #azul #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #trans reader #trans ftm #trans ftm reader #azul x trans reader #azul x trans ftm reader

59 notes · View notes

hot-crossedbuns · 7 months

Text

being trans is so weird.

I'm trans masc. in transitioning towards presenting more masculine. if I could I would have a hysterectomy and top surgeryl right now.

but I just saw a Reddit thread about "girl secrets" and I found myself in the comments of hundreds of people describing the mundane aspects of their womanhood, like making sure you get the leftovers out when you shower at the of of you period or the weird adjustment thing you have to do with your boobs sometimes when trying to sleep.

My hair has always been a source of dysphoria for me, always being complimented on my hair, long and thick, natural highlights and gentle curls. all I ever wanted until I finally gave in at 17 was to chop it all off. I'd get a buzz cut if it meant people stopped seeing me from behind and immediately clocking me as a girl because it went right down my back even in my ratty ponytail.

but I saw this tiktok on how women often swoosh their pony tails behind them when they walk, because it's fun. and it is! I always found some joy in that before I finally cut it off and felt pride in my hair for the first time ever.

my co-workers are all women, cisgender women who don't know that I'm not one of them. to them I'm just the short haired lesbian that works shifts with them. but this means they include me in their monthy girls nights and I get to feel the joy of being the inside of some secret club I never really felt a part of as a kid. it's fun hearing them chat shit about their exes, talk about those weird things that only happen to women because of our anatomy.

and yet, I'm taking steps to turn away from that, because while these spaces are safe and familiar to me, they what's felt unnatural and like I was intruding on something not meant for me.

I'm taking these steps to look and be seen the way that makes me confident and empowered, and yet I'm time I'll lose the experience of talking to random women fixing their make up in the at the mirrors in public toilets, or seeing 5 drunk women tell a random stranger she's beautiful when they find her ex left her for someone prettier.

Men don't have that support. and I'll lose that forever when I transition.

and yeah, once I visibly transition I don't have to be as afraid of walking home at night, and yeah i won't have to hear drunk old men hit on me after telling me I look like their grandaughters, and yeah I won't have to deal with sexist jokes made at my expense by my guy friends.

but once women stop seeing me as a woman and start seeing me for me, suddenly my past, my whole childhood, where i believed I would be a woman the rest of my life, suddenly changes meaning.

if I were to talk about those weirdly sexual and creepy comments my best friends boyfriend made for months, it's just guys being dudes. if I mention the time my boss's boyfriend smacked my ass during a busy shift, it's just a bro tap. if I mention how random guys at work often try to hug me or hold my hands or call me pet names, it stops being harassment and just starts being guys messing about.

if I mention how my cramps can immobilise me, or how much I hate wearing tampons or how dogs do that weird thing where they just keep sniffing your crotch or how sometimes my ovary cramps and it's rock hard beneath the skin, or how frustrating it is when your period comes 2 days early and ruins the underwear you liked or it's a week late for absolutely no god forsaken reason and your hormones are all over the place, and you're moody, tired, angry, sad, hungry bloated and nauseous all at once, they're just look at me all funny because his could I, someone who looks and presents as a guy, possibly know what it's like to be a woman.

as if I didn't live as one for 20 years.

as if I didn't plan to live my life as a woman.

as if I didn't grow up being someone's daughter, sister or niece.

as if I didn't expect to be someone's mother, wife or aunt.

being trans is weird, because once you realise it, all of your life experience slowly stops mattering.

it's weird because yes I want the world to separate me from who they always assumed I would be, yes I want them to stop seeing me as that little girl who didn't quite know how to be a girl. yes I want them to see me the way I've always felt I was supposed to be... but I don't want them to only see the masc side of me.

my girlhood, my femininity, my lived experience as a female in the 21st century all helped shape who I am now, and just because I'm trans doesn't mean that goes away.

but no one really sees that.

and yeah, it's a good thing, it means the world is finally starting to see me for who I've always known myself to be.

but knowing that part of me is slowly fading is weird.

being trans is so weird.

and so frustrating.

all at once.

#im just having a weird time #dysphorias been kicking my ass #and that reddit post about 'girl secrets' really fucked me up a little #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk #trans #transgender #transmasc #trans man #trans issues #lgbtq

39 notes · View notes