#toys hobbies my new fed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azenpal · 3 months

Text

The answer to my maybe

– aaron hotchner x neighbor!female reader

summary | being in a new place is weird, but you make it harder for yourself by crushing on your neighbor

warnings | nothing really, just me trying to envision a pervert hotch, cliffhanger

word count | 2055

a/n | hi, i’m just going to drop this one here because i can’t find the inspiration for the smut part of this story<3

Living in a house alone isn’t as fun as the movies made you dream of. Although you enjoy your alone time and doing the things you promised yourself you’d do for years. Somehow, there was still that nudging feeling that something wasn’t in its right place, telling you there’s a factor missing in your life now. The cycle of waking up, going to your job, doing an activity, and picking up a hobby felt mundane when you end the night staring at your ceiling. And it turns out, there were only a few DIY projects in your home you could do until you feel fed up with it. So here you were, laying on your sofa on a Saturday, staring at your window, hoping inspiration hits you to do anything.

But if you could be honest, the only reason the view looked good was that there’s a chance you’ll see a glimpse of your neighbor– Aaron Hotchner, no— Agent Aaron Hotchner. The neighbor who introduced himself as you were moving the boxes in your home. The guy that told you places to see and restaurants to try as soon as the second time you met him. The father of Jack Hotchner, an adorable bundle of joy dressed as a cute little boy. The man your friends refer to as the hot neighbor when you confess to them how you feel “hot” every time you see him, among the many other confessions you would do and are willing to do for that man.

But over the weeks, you grew to have a soft spot for the Hotchners each time you saw them playing outside or walking back to their homes with their ice cream. So, of course, bringing them snacks and buying Jack toys that remind you of him became a habit of yours and is certainly not just an excuse to see his dad, although that is a bonus. Yet every time you see Mr. Hotchner, you start to feel that your liking of him is growing too strong. It became so bad that you actually tried not to initiate any conversation with the Hotchner, but Jack is just too damn cute to ignore, and your resolution easily crumbled after two days. Failing to control your feelings and thoughts for Aaron, your mundane days were over but filled with nights imagining how it would feel to be in his arms.

So, aside from your normal routine, nothing has changed, and you still have a lot of free time. But instead of finding a new hobby or trying to be productive, most of your days are now spent thinking about what you could do to stop your never-ending fantasies with Aaron. Maybe you just have to get out and spend money. Or maybe a shopping haul? Or maybe your period is just nearing, and you’re just horny at a different kind of level. Or maybe you just really need to get laid. Or maybe you need some romance in your life?

Or maybe, just maybe, you were starting to want the feeling of a thrill? The idea of being careless, having the ability to just do without thinking of the consequences of your actions, or simply, your coworkers’ idea of having fun every time they have a drink. But a one-night stand is just a no-no; you know that you don’t trust people that way and the paranoia that you’ll get murdered if you’re alone with a stranger is just too strong for you to sleep with a stranger.

But now that you’re thinking about it and you’re hearing your thoughts, maybe you’re just being dramatic about your life.

Then again, your friends have told you to go out more and “explore.” Meet new people and enjoy the different possibilities life has to offer aside from your usual safe and plain routine. So, heeding your friend’s advice, who may either start an adventure or a murder, the temporary answer to your maybes is meeting their friend, whom they all talk kindly of. The truth is, you will never do this on your own. The reason being a mix of anxiety, fear, insecurity, and your strong imagination of how your date would and could dump you on the spot in a hundred ways made you stop your finger every time you want to try a dating application. But knowing that the people you trust know the guy eases your negative emotions. However, while you’re thankful to them for being supportive, a part of you still regrets using the words “bored to death” and “looking for a thrill” when you opened up to them; after all, a delusional part of you wants to be on a date with your neighbor.

And after weeks of talking with Jake and a side of asking your friends about what to do and if what you’re doing is correct, you actually had the courage to meet him. But behold, now that the meeting place is set and the time is also scheduled, you did not think of the possibility that you will rack your brains configuring countless combinations of your clothes. You want to appear like you put in the effort to look presentable but not overwhelming because maybe he could be someone special and think that your clothes were too much. But all you know is whether he likes you or rejects you, you want to look and feel good tonight and not think of Aaron Hothcner.

With your bed filled with pants, shirts, skirts, your favorite underwear, and the dress you felt confident in, you step back, trying to think which combination will make you feel good tonight. There’s only a small chance that this date will solve your problems, but you want to try your best; after all, it’s better not to have regrets. So, holding onto your two favorite underwear while still in your towel, you try to imagine which would be better to boost yourself up.

But then again, the point of this date was for you to feel something new, so maybe wearing the usual wouldn’t be the right way to start- and also in hopes of getting some, as your friends have said. So, looking at the further edge of the bed, you grabbed the caramel nude and periwinkle underwear you have and contemplated between the two. Periwinkle would look good on you, but maybe it’s too much for a first date? Not that you want to impress him with your underwear. But caramel nude feels the safest right now, not too far off your comfort zone, but still different.

Choosing the caramel nude underwear made you feel as if you’ve taken a big step in getting ready, even if you haven’t chosen what to wear. Although realistically thinking, it would take you hours to decide what to wear, so opting to do your usual make-up, you sent a picture of all the clothes in your bed to your friends for their choice.

While waiting for your friend’s reply and starting on your make-up, you glimpse the dress you’ve only worn once for a specific purpose-- to deliver cookies to Aaron Hocthner’s door. Stupid? Yes. But do you regret buying it? No. You couldn’t say you regretted buying that dress because he complimented you for wearing it. And it’s not just that he said you looked pretty in it, but the fact that he noticed it was the first time you wore it made you feel hot. You could just combust on the spot. But of course, you didn’t admit it was new when he asked if it was, making a lie that you didn’t realize you still have that dress.

That day also made you think that, just maybe, you had a chance with him. See, you remember what he wore the first day you saw him. He was wearing a Rangoon green polo; well, it was a well-fitted polo. You’re still unsure about the color, given that you just obsessed about it and searched for hours in the hues and shades of green that day. He also had sunglasses on, but you didn’t get a good look at them because the moment he saw you walking on your pavement, he quickly got rid of it and approached you while smiling.

And as you see yourself smiling like a fool while remembering that day, you realize maybe that day sealed your fate already. But the buzzing of your phone cut your thoughts as your friends all voted for you to wear a dress. Making you remember the goal of tonight’s plan, stop thinking about Aaron Hotchner.

Your date is a hot man. If you were in the mood for sex, you might jump his bones to end your dry spell. This is not a denial of the fact that you were in the mood for sex because, technically, you are, just not with the man in front of you. And maybe one more reply of saying what and I’m sorry I didn’t hear that, and your hot date would also know that your mind is floating to someone. Floating to someone serious-looking, big, hot, FBI, and most definitely your neighbor.

At this point, you have given up trying not to think about Aaron. Maybe when the date ends, you could say sorry to your friends and then thank them for doing this for you. You could also ask them to help you make a move on Aaron because, apparently, he’s in your head no matter what distraction you put yourself with. When you entered the place, you tried to imagine what restaurant Aaron would choose. Does he prefer a casual dinner? Would you be riding in his car while talking about your day to each other? Does he like the food you love? Would he wear a suit? Does he talk about his friends or work when on a date? Would he tell Jack about your date? Does he end a date by dropping you home and kissing you goodnight? Or maybe he would invite himself in and stay with you for the night?

As the minute passes, you answer all your questions by imagining different scenarios of how your date would go. So, with a smile, kiss on the cheek, and goodbye, you entered your home to do the same repetitive way you end your night. But as you take your clothes off, you realize that somehow, what was first to be an evening you looked forward to turned out to be a night you just wanted to end. Wearing only your underwear, you flopped your body in your bed and exhaled loudly. You could not stop thinking of him at all. And no denial method of yours could get you to stop imagining a date with him. So maybe it would be better to just be honest with your feelings? Maybe you could ask your friends for advice.

Picking up the phone, ready to tell them everything, you got a message from the man you were trying to avoid by all means.

Aaron Hotchner.

Prepare? What does he mean by that? Does he-

About to reply to Aaron that he sent you the wrong message, you look to your right and realize that the window is wide open. The window where you first saw how hot your neighbor is is freaking open. Rushing to close it, you checked if he was still there. How long has he seen you walking around in your room in a towel?

Did he see you twirling and posing earlier while holding your underwear?

Did he see everything?

Mouth opening and mind flooding with questions, you realize what the hell just happened.

The hot neighbor you’ve been crushing on has seen you posing in front of the mirror while holding your underwear and checking yourself out.

He saw you.

In your underwear.

And if this isn’t the most embarrassing night of your life, maybe finding a new place is the right answer to all your maybe’s.

Endnote | now that i have dropped this, i will now contemplate how the hell i’m going to continue this but anywhore tysm for reading this!

Masterlist link

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fanfiction

233 notes · View notes

harry-on-broadway · 1 year

Text

Snapshot

Word Count: 3.4K || Rating: M

A/N: This is my super late entry into the SweetandSpicyFicChallenge I hosted with @hslllot and @harrysblackcoat. It’s a sweet little blurb (with a hint of spice) inspired by the coziest photo of Harry to exist. Enjoy!

***

2017

“Stop!”

You put your hand in front of your face, hoping to block Harry’s advances.

“Just one more,” he said, laughing.

“That’s what you said five minutes ago.”

“It’s not my fault you’re this beautiful.”

Click.

You heard the camera shutter and put your hand down, figuring you were safe for a minute. Harry’s head was bent over the device. He frowned as he looked at the back of the camera.

“I think it’s out of film.”

“Are you sad you can’t use your new toy anymore?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “The lighting is almost perfect and I just wanted one good photo of you.”

You bit back your sarcastic reply upon hearing the earnestness in his voice. The film camera had been a recent vacation purchase, with Harry justifying it by saying he’d been looking for a new hobby and always planned on learning photography. In the days that followed, he’d started practicing, taking pictures of the view from your Paris hotel room, the flowers you saw at the market, and to your displeasure, you. You knew you should be flattered by his admiration and dedication to preserving you for eternity on film, but being hounded by a camera when you just wanted to relax was no fun. Harry of all people should know that.

“Harry, we can pick up more film tomorrow. Let’s just go to dinner now.”

He pouted. “Do you promise? You’re not just saying that? Because I know how you feel about the camera.”

“Yes, Harry, I promise we can get more film tomorrow. But I’m getting hangry and need to eat. Food. Now.”

He placed the camera on his nightstand. “Alright then, let’s go since someone needs to be fed.” He slung his arm around you, pulling you close before you all headed out into the Parisian night.

***

2018

“Right then, we have to get it on this try. There are no second chances.” He looked at you to make sure you understood.

“Yes sir,” you said, getting into position.

“Sir?” He arched his brow.

“Oh you liked that?”

“Yeah, but we’ll get into that later.” He placed his hands on your hips and positioned you how he wanted, back to the lake where the sun was rising. “OK, when I say cheese, we’re smiling.”

“Harry, I know. I’ve taken a picture before.”

In the year since he bought his camera, he’d graduated from taking pictures of you and his surroundings, and had started incorporating what he described as “self-portraits” of the two of you in the mix, an interesting technique for someone who despised selfies any other time.

He took his place beside you, resting his left arm across your shoulders and using his right to position the camera in front of your faces.

“One, two, three, cheese!” he said as his finger pressed down on the shutter, the flash momentarily blinding both of you. “That’s going to be a great one, I just know it.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” you asked as he put the camera back in the case. “Not knowing how it looks until later? Like what if it doesn’t turn out? You can’t recreate the moment.”

“It’s a game of chance but it’s kind of fun.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “We might not be able to recreate the moment, but we’ll always have the memory.”

“So when I look at that overexposed picture of me on the beach, I’ll always remember how annoying you were when I was trying to sleep.”

He kissed you. “Yes, and when we get this roll back and I’ve invariably misjudged how to frame both of us, we’ll always remember how overconfident I was that time at the lake.”

“In more ways than one,” you grimaced, remembering how the canoe you all had rented the day before had tipped after Harry insisted he knew how to steer.

“I heard that!��

“That was my intention!”

***

2019

“Please? I promise I’ll be careful.”

“Since when have you been interested in film photography?”

You and Harry were seated outside of a cafe in Tokyo, bundled up against the cold temperatures as you waited for your tea. He’d been in the city working on his new album and after a few weeks of settling in, he’d invited you to come out and spend some time with him. You could tell he loved Japan. There was an extra pep in his step and he lit up whenever he was able to take you to one of his favorite spots.

“I just want to learn. You’re like an expert now and maybe I want to be able to take a turn.”

“I sense an ulterior motive.”

“You’re right, Harry. It’s my evil plan to get payback for you harassing me with the camera for years.”

“I knew it!” His eyes crinkled as his face scrunched with delight. “We can stop by the apartment and pick it up after this. Get some practice in while we do some sightseeing?”

“That’s perfect.”

You spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Tokyo with the man you were certain was the love of your life. While he knew how to press your buttons and often enjoyed riling you up, he was unbelievably patient with you that day. He coached you through it all, helping you capture snapshots of buildings and dogs and even your dinner, offering gentle corrections whenever you went wrong.

That night, when you returned to the apartment you were calling home for the duration of your stay, you were still messing around with the camera and had started to see why Harry enjoyed it so much.

“Are you almost done?” Harry asked from the couch. The long day showed on his face and you knew that while he’d never admit it, he was tired and desperately ready for bed.

“Just one more,” you murmured, placing the camera in front of your eye and lining up Harry in the viewfinder. In the small square you could see him, curled up on the couch, head resting on his hand as he scrolled through his phone. You held your breath, not wanting to disturb him in this near perfect moment. As your finger pressed down on the shutter, he looked up, almost as if he had sixth sense.

“Another one?” he asked, a tired smile on his face.

“What? I learned from the best!”

You had no clue if the picture had turned out or not, but if you’d somehow managed to not fuck it up, you knew it would be your favorite.

***

2020

“Tell me what it is!”

“No!”

Harry pouted. “Please. Please tell me. I’m getting desperate here.”

You doused the package that had just arrived in Lysol, hoping that would be enough to fight off whatever was lurking on the cardboard. “If you keep whining, you’re not going to find out.”

“Fine. Should I start lunch?”

“Sure. I left some carrots and tomatoes on the cutting board if you want to throw those in a salad? I’m going to run this upstairs and then I can help.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question you any further. You scurried up the stairs and when you reached the bedroom, you looked behind you one more time to make sure that you were in fact alone. Confident that you were, you tore the tape off of the package and dumped its contents onto the bed.

Boredom was starting to set in after three weeks locked in the house, and with no end in sight, you’d decided to order a little entertainment for the both of you. Lingerie in a variety of colors and styles covered the bed. You sorted through the pieces, making sure the sizes were correct before hiding them in the drawer you thought Harry would be least likely to look in and heading back to meet him in the kitchen.

The two of you spent the afternoon just as you’d spent all the afternoons before, lounging by the pool, swimming laps, and planning your next meal. You put thoughts of your plan out of your head until just before dinner when you slipped on a lacy bra and panties underneath your shirt and shorts.

Dinner was essentially a repeat of the last 21 nights you’d spent together, though you didn’t mind the repetition, savoring the mundane moments with Harry after so many years of chaos. When you saw him rise from the table and head to the sink to start washing up, you put your plan into motion.

You crept up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face between his shoulder blades.

“Hello there,” Harry said with a chuckle. “Can I help you?”

“I didn’t think we were done,” you purred in your best attempt at a seductive whisper.

“Did you want dessert? I think there’s some ice cream in the freezer. There might be some of the pound cake left too.”

“That wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Oh.”

Harry turned around to face you. “I’m in the mood for something a little spicier,” you said, pulling him towards you and planting an open-mouth kiss on him.

“Bedroom?” he asked, breathing heavily.

“Yes, and don’t forget your camera.”

By the time Harry had made it upstairs, panting as though he’d sprinted a mile, you’d shed your clothes and had reclined on the bed in the little red number you’d unpacked earlier that day.

“I’m ready for my close up,” you said, a hint of shyness creeping up on you. While phone and FaceTime sex was nothing unfamiliar, there was something strangely intimate about exposing yourself in a way that would be captured permanently.

“Fuck,” Harry whispered, slowly lifting the camera up. Click. Click. Click. “You look incredible, baby,” he said, pulling his eye away from the viewfinder to gaze at you in full. “Now how about you take that off.”

***

2021

“Big night, huh?” Nervous energy had been pulsing through the Vegas hotel room you were sharing with Harry, who was presently ignoring you. “Not even a smile, H? Come on!”

He looked up from his phone and pressed his lips together in an expression that might have resembled a smile if you had been standing across the room, squinting at him.

“Baby, don’t be nervous. You’ve been waiting so long for this, just like everyone else. It’s going to be amazing.”

“What if I’ve lost it?” His question caught you off guard.

“Your…talent?”

“Yeah. It’s been awhile. I’m kind of rusty.”

“That’s true you haven’t performed for anyone except me in 18 months.”

“And those shows are just for you.” His lips curled into a cheeky grin. “Can’t give the goods away to everyone.”

“I’d hope not.”

You reached across the sofa and squeezed his arm. “Seriously though, you could just stand on stage doing nothing and they’d love you. Everyone’s just so happy to be able to be together again.”

“I know, I know. It just feels like a big responsibility, performing, keeping people healthy, showing that we can do it all safely.”

“And there’s no one more prepared than you.” You pressed your lips against the back of his hand. “I’m going to shower. Are you going to head out?”

He glanced at the time on his phone. “Yeah, I probably should. Start getting ready.” Like clockwork there was a knock at the door, summoning him to the venue. He sighed. “I’ll see you there?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He gave you a quick kiss, and you smiled at the casual display of affection. In the early days of your relationship every hug, kiss, cuddle, and fuck had been a production, with both of you giving it everything you had since you didn’t know when you’d see each other next. But after a year and a half together, knowing that Harry was only a room away, you didn’t feel the need to rush everything, a luxury you never thought you’d be afforded.

You arrived at the venue a couple hours later and made your way backstage. Your goal was always to stay out of sight, though Harry had a habit of bringing you into the fray. As you milled about the edge of the crowd that surrounded him, you managed to catch his eye. He was listening to the crew member that was walking him through something, but his gaze was locked on you the entire time. Though his mouth was covered, you could tell he was smiling based on the way the corners of his eyes crinkled. You were about to approach him when the crew began to pile around him, helping him climb into the box that would transport him under the stage. You quickly blew him a kiss, which he caught and slipped into his pants pocket.

With Harry ready to go, you followed Jeff out into the arena, feeling the butterflies swirl in your stomach as the show’s intro began. The crowd’s energy was contagious and you could feel your heart thudding as Harry ascended to the stage. You knew this was coming, having watched him rehearse it several times before and your phone was in your hand, ready to capture the moment.

You didn’t get a chance to look at the image until later that night when Harry was snoring beside you in bed. It wasn’t the perfect picture – the way your phone camera caught the light caused a bit of a lens flare, slightly obscuring Harry’s body, but his face was clear, the joy and happiness he felt evident by the huge smile on his face.

You never wanted to forget that moment.

You immediately set it as your lock screen.

***

2022

“You are worse than my mum!”

“I know you mean that as an insult, but your mother is an amazing woman, so I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Well, I don’t think we need to capture the car ride to the Today show.”

“She said she wanted updates on everything. And who am I to deny her that?” You positioned your phone in front of Harry’s face and snapped a quick picture. His disgruntled scowl filled your screen and you laughed. “The least you could do is smile.”

“What will it take for you to leave me alone? Ten dollars? Fifteen?”

“That’s all you have to offer me? A fifteen dollar bribe?”

“Hmm.” He drummed his index finger against his lip. “I’ll throw in a kiss.”

You pretended to ponder the offer before dropping your phone in your lap. “You drive a hard bargain.”

He laughed lightly, reaching across the center seat to interlace his fingers with yours. “I know it’s a big week and that everyone wants to cheer me on every moment, but I also just kind of want things to be normal, you know. Just five minutes where it’s not all about me. To balance it all out.”

“Well then, I guess now would be the perfect time for me to bring up the fact that you left your socks and underwear on the floor of the bathroom for the third day in a row. How hard is it to pick up after yourself? Just because you have an album coming out doesn’t mean you’re off the hook when it comes to chores.” He was smiling at you now, the scowl from earlier long gone.

“Oh! Also, I need your advice on a couple of things. First, I’m getting my nails done tomorrow and I need to decide which shape I should do, and the color. I’m feeling like maybe a glitter? And then I wanted to try this new coffee. And the Instagram I saw it on said it’s best with almond milk. But I don’t like almond milk. So do you think it would work with oat milk?”

Harry nodded thoughtfully. “First, my sincerest apologies about the underwear. It won’t happen again.”

“Famous last words.”

He squeezed your hand. “Second, you should absolutely do a glitter and maybe whatever the pointy shape is?”

“Why?”

“Feels nice when you have long nails and scratch at my hair and…other things.” You shot him a surprised glance as he flushed. “Anyways,” he continued, clearing his throat. “I don’t think the milk matters. You won’t be able to taste it with all the flavoring.”

The car came to a stop and you could hear the screams from the crowd, even with the windows shut. Harry took a deep breath and you scratched at his arm.

“I have some serious questions for you about what dog breed I most resemble, but we can get into that whenever you're done with this thing.” You gestured out the window.

Harry smiled, the first true authentic one to grace his lips that morning. “Thank you,” he said.

You knew exactly what he meant. “Anytime, baby.” You picked your phone up again. “But just one more for the road.”

***

2023

“One more step. And another one.”

Harry’s voice was low in your ear, his hands were over your eyes as he guided you into the living room of your London home. You all walked awkwardly, you standing in front of him as he nudged you, one step at a time, further into the room.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just blindfold me?” you huffed as he stepped on the back of your heel for the third time.

“So you’re not enjoying this?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You stepping on me? No, not particularly.” Your shin made contact with what you assumed was the coffee table and you yelped. “Harry, for the love of God just tell me what’s going on.”

“Calm down, don’t get yourself all worked up. But keep your eyes closed” He moved his hands down to your shoulders and spun you around so you were facing the opposite direction. Opposite of what you didn’t know, but you could feel Harry wrap his arms around your waist. “OK, you can open them.”

When you opened your eyes, you blinked several times adjusting to the dim light that surrounded you, and once your vision had been restored, your jaw dropped.

The painting that usually hung on the wall in your living room had been removed, and a clothesline had been strung in its place, zig-zagging across the wall. “Is that-?” You turned to look at Harry.

“Why don’t you go see?”

You stepped forward out of his grasp and determined that your first impression was right. Small photographs had been hung on the line with clothespins. Photographs from every stage of your relationship with Harry.

Group shots from those early outings when you were both too scared to make a move, instead settling for the buffer of mutual friends. Photographs from the first vacation you took with one another, the fateful trip when he’d bought his first film camera. Pictures from every family gathering, big and small. Selfies snapped at concerts, goofy Snapchats with every filter imaginable, and even a portrait your mother had taken of you at your graduation – you were smiling wide, looking straight at the camera while Harry beamed at you, his pride evident.

You felt the tears involuntarily well in your eyes as you were overcome by the realization of just how much Harry loved you and how much you loved him. “H, this is incredible but what’s this all for?” You turned around to face him, and you couldn’t tell if it was your own blurry vision, but it looked like Harry was crying too.

“We’ve been through so much and have so many snapshots of our lives. But I want a whole fucking album with you.” Time moved in slow motion as he reached into his pocket and sank down onto one knee. He held a film canister in his hand and when he opened it, a ring fell out. “What do you say, love? Do you want to keep me in the picture forever?”

You laughed, cheeks wet, as you nodded. “Of course.”

Harry rose from the floor, slipping the ring onto your finger before he kissed you with a passion you’d never felt before. You looked up at him when you all broke apart, frowning when you saw him fishing around in his pockets again.

“H, I don’t think anything can beat this surprise.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and holding you close as he lifted his phone. “I just want to capture this moment.”

***

talk to me!

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles ff #harry fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x reader

643 notes · View notes

floral-monsters · 10 months

Text

It’s time for some quilt posting!

I visited my family in Alberta last week and was determined to spend some quality time not sweating my ass about my inbox. (Being on satellite internet helped a lot.) And come hell or high water I was going to finish something.

I set out to finish handquilting the giant beast I have— thinking I would just post up on the back porch and stare at the ground squirrels while working— but that was not in the cards. Because my mother has been learning to quilt as well.

You see, my mom has been learning quilting in fits and starts over the years. A table runner here, a rag quilt there, but not really a focused effort beyond making someone a gift or destashing the mountain of polar fleece she has on hand from making us kids clothes in the nineties and early aughts.

It wasn’t until my severely burnt out and depressed self came home for Christmas this past year and asked her to teach me to quilt that she also decided to learn conventional piecing quilting. She wasn’t able to teach me, but she shared her craftsy login with me and we stared down a bunch of YouTube videos together. She also drove me through the icy Alberta freeze to the quilt shop in Canmore and gave me two sizeable lengths of fabric she’d taken in from my Oma to bind and back the Frankie and Momo quilt I made in January.

Since then, she’s been motoring along on quilting projects and gifts at the rate that could only be maintained by a retiree determined to destash her, my grandmother and my oma’s lifetimes of built up fabrics. My mom, also being one of the rare people in this world with an honest-to-god pension, learns any new hobby by buying gadgets and toys for the hobby.

This is all to say: My mom has an accuquilt. This is a little crank power fabric die-cutting machine that is very very cool. And after using it to zoom through the cutting for a little sawtooth star block I got it in my head that I could probably do a simple start-to-finish quilt while I was visiting. (I wanted to play with the toy more)

(Yes I know that this is very silly and wiggly, but I was testing things and goofing around so be nice)

So it was off to that Canmore quilt shop again, in much nicer weather. And I dug out some coordinating colours from their sale section for blocks, backing and binding for less than thirty bucks. I then fed all the twoonie priced fat quarters through the diecutter and wound up with more than sixty charm squares in about half an hour.

That’s pretty fast— all my cutting at home happens on a coffee table and wrecks my back. She’s also got one of those fancy Stripology rulers so I was able to cut my entire binding in literal seconds. It’s witchcraft.

Put together a simple repeating layout and we were off to the races!

My mother also has a fancy new sewing machine with a start-stop button, thread cutter and more feed dogs than god. So I was able to zip through assembly WAY faster than on my ancient hand-me-down brother machine from the eighties. (Who I still love)

The whole quilt top was together before I knew it, and I’m getting less and less clumsy with my corners every time I do this so I was really happy. Used a Hera marker to make guides for the quilting, which surprised me by how well it held up to handling. I can probably recreate the effect with a clean butter knife at home!

Quilted the whole thing in rush and sewed the binding on in the car on our way to and from dinner. I somehow managed to not get carsick doing it too, it’s astounding. Im really happy with the results even though it’s a very simple design. This is the fastest I’ve done a whole little blanket like this and I’m glad I got so lucky with the sale fabrics available.

(Lucy also gave her approval once we got home yesterday, even though she wasn’t there to supervise.)

#quilting #beginner #trying to do some longer form blogging to see if I like it?#anyway this quilt will hopefully be something I can sit with when I’m wishing for a vacation #a happy place

24 notes · View notes

forestryfae · 9 months

Text

its like. i KNOW, on some level, that its kind of fucked up that dad and mom are like. not talking to me or reaching out and they never have ven when i was a kid, and i know on some level its pretty fucked up how little they care about me yet somehow want a say in EVERYTHING in my life

and its kinda fucked up that i asked my dad about a hypothetical scenario where i rent that really shitty apartment he has in the basement for a little while after finally getting rid of the house i currently live in. just so ill have somewhere to live until i find a better apartment somewhere. and somehow my brother gets 12k a month and only pays 4k ish but i make 18k a month so i should ay 10k in rent just cus

and somehow im just a trash heap so when i moved into the house i got a bunch of crap my parents just didnt want. my old stuff from when i was a kid?? okay thanks for the toys but can i ssell them or give some of them to my little sister? NO. what if my little sister comes to visit. they dont fucking visit me more than once a year at most and they only visit my neighbours or show up when im not around. baby pictures??? stuff i had when i was a baby like a toy and some shit drawings from when i was a kid???? WHY WOULD THEY GIVE ME THAT. its stuff that should be sentimentally important enough for dad to keep, not give to me cus theyd feel bad throwing it away or give to me cus it was taking up space. mom kept the big photoalbum books i had to go get from dads house before they sold it even tho it was all packed away and probably hadnt been in a bookshelf for a while and i didnt even get my own babypictures or the album even tho mom said i was gonna get it when i moved out some furniture and shit?? mom didnt wanna get rid of a fucking bench with drawers so he asked me if i wanted it?? i said okay but like if i try selling it is she gonna want it back? and she even tried buying an unopened box with a dresser in it (i dont have space for it anywhere. YET.) from me even tho i said i needed it. she couldve just asked where she got it or some shit, they literally still sell it at the store and you can order it online and dad and stepmom came with some mats and lamps for me "in case i needed some" so thats lying in the garage taking up space cus i dont have any use for them. they even gave me a fucking roomba even tho i didnt think itd help and i never used it and now they want it back cus they wanna give it to grandma. like i get the logic but why give it away if you want it back.

and like. most of my shit is secondhand from family. because the solution to all my problems is apparently not getting me the fuck out of that house, its Giving Me Things. i just got picked up from the psychiatrists office or i have a headache and feel awful or i almost had a panic attack, but dad cant drop me off at home or even at moms house cus that takes 10 minutes extra so instead i get a soda. cus that makes up for him just letting me have a headache or literally driving me aorund for 3 hours cus hes got "chores" (checking out used car dealerships for more cars he can buy so he can fix them cus his hobbies are so important he cant just put them aside and make sure were fed or have clothes, thats mom and grandmas job)

so instead of actually trying to help me or spend time with me they give me shit. i dont see people for literal months and im literally crying daily for hours in the middle of fucking winter and nobody even fucking talks to me but the best way to fix that?? give me a christmas tree and ornaments. give me some of their old decorations too. bail on me to stay home for new years eve but thats okay cus i got a christmas tree they bought for me cus that fixes everything i dont have a table and chairs to sit in the livingroom or kitchen and im almost having a mental breakdown cus i think THATS whats missing and having more furniture is going to fix the complete lack of any connection with other people cus if i have a big house and i have stting space people will actually bother visiting. so ofc dad gives me their old furniture from their cottage, theyve been meaning to get rid of it so they can replace it anyways. literally giving me their unwanted shit cus its easier. going to the thriftstore with me is too much work and i cant get to any of the more remote but cheap furniture stores but thats okay cus they dont care and for as long as they dont have to drive me or spend time with me all is well.

like it is no fuckin wonder im struggling to even save up money when i keep buying shit cus thats literally what always happens when im with family. we go on a daytrip somwhere to buy shit cus there no fucking connection there thats worth even trying to deal with, so the whole idea of an experience or bonding isnt really applicable. being a kid and hanging out with the paternal side of the family was literally always a shopping trip where we bought new clothes. cus dads cheap and didnt wanna spend his precious hobby money on clothes, he wants to fix cars for months then sell them for a couple extra hundreds, and my uncle and aunt and cousin only visited for weekends every now and then so it wasnt often either. but it was practically every time.

like even when im alone in the city or somewhere i wind up spending money on shit cus i just. dont have the self control and who gives a shit anyways its not like ill be able to ever save up for anything and atleast this way i get something i want besides just groceries or whatever. and maybe if i buy the right things ill have motivation to actually do shit like having hobbies or fixing my life and if i have the right aesthetic ill atleast feel less like all my shit is embarrassing and childish and i wont get tired of it as easily ig. but also like whats the fucking point of anything. it feels like im no allowed to get things i genuinely want or thhink would help and im not allowed to switch things out when theyre not working. im not allowed to get a new desk cus i have an old one i dont want and never use, i have a new one ive never used and thats driving me insane because of the size and how can i know it doesnt help or work or makes me wanna draw if i havent even tried it. so i already have stuff so im not allowe dt get new things or nicer things.

except a new desk would atleast let me clean my room properly and itd give me more space and maybe if i was allowed to do that id finally draw again us id have somewhere to put my art stuff and somewhere nice to sit. maybe itd make stuff easier and nicer for me?? is that not a good reason. especially considering everything else. im fuckign depressed, ive been for years and im only now starting to get a little better, i have a house i dont wanna fucking live in most of the time cus its just one big boring fucking chore and i cant even afford it. i cant even clean it properly or fix anything cus why bother, i dont wanna fucking be here i hate it here. it sucks and its lonely and its not even functional and nothing works and i cant even decide on a wallcolor without everyone else giving me their input whether i ask for it or not. i have 40k in an account and im not even allowed to look at it and i didnt even know i had it cus mom never fucking told me about it. i literally just wanna get rid of everything and start over and move somewhere and actually have a car and a job i enjoy that i actually get paid for and some mental stability so i can go to the job and get dishes and laudnry done without it being a fucking struggle every god damn time.

#talkies #long post//////////////////////////////////////////#so yeah. im gonna go do laundry and maybe ill make macaroni for dinner. idk what ill put in it tho. maybe cheese or some shit #anyways the point of the post was i know on some level hat this shit is kinda fucked up. but im used to it so i dont actualy know how much #and its hard to feel like im allowed to be upset due to neglect + emotional abuse and so on cus i wasnt allowed to have feelings other peopl #people didnt want me to have. and i was usually yelled at for bing upset about literally anything ever no mater what it was #and im so used to being treated this way that i feel like its my fault cus im worthless and its selfish to want people to actually care abou #t me. and it feels weird cus its like. am i allowed to be upset about this. is this my own fault? am i an asshole for all of this? it feels

0 notes

guessimate · 1 year

Photo

While I was not playing, I got some new CC and I replaced the non-medieval armchairs I had for my lower classes. I got a new wedding arch and a mod for announcing betrothals under it. I’m not a big fan of arranged marriages, but I have that option in my game just in case of ROS-es and such. I like it when my sims roll Get Engaged/Married wants, which they do once they are adults only. If some unexpected pregnancy happens I'll make my sims tie the knot, too, but so far I’ve been mostly ignoring ACR. I did a dress rehearsal of Drifa and Bay’s wedding when I was checking if the mod worked. I also gave the twins small makeovers since I had to gussy Portia up on age up anyway. They got freckles and some new clothes I got.

~*~

I was trying to have this family keep the parrot, but on the last but one day of their round, I gave up. The pet had just been fed and it went through all of its food immediately and got the red hunger thought bubble. I had Bay release it. And it was not the only problem with it. My sims were just standing next to it, unable to talk to it and it was really getting on my nerves. Plus it’s really expensive to take care of birds and peasants can’t really afford that luxury. And with the bird off went the previous job of Bay's. He got a job in the Athletic career instead, as that's where his father used to work. His Fitness enthusiasm and body skill are already maxed out, so his career will probably get fast tracked. It also helps that Tinkering is his One True Hobby, in case he needs more Mechanical points. In terms of the pay the top of the Entertainer career paid only 105$, while Athletic career starts at 97$ - or 110$ if you get promoted on your first day. Bay lost a vacation day, but he’s a Workaholic, so I don’t think he minds. Bay actually got a flu this round (he brought it home from work). I don't have the deadly sickness mod so he was fine and thankfully didn’t infect anyone else. It definitely made it harder for him to work on his Fitness, and during his illness he was afraid of himself dying.

~*~

Declan Gardiner was running by and he caught May’s eye. Maybe I forced it on her a bit by having her check him out, but they have 3 bolts together, I just had to. She rolled a want to flirt with him and then to ask him out on a date. I locked that in for the next round, because Knowledge sims roll romance-related wants so rarely. She made her choice and it’s actually a pretty good suitor for her, as she would become a yeoman. Maybe they’ll even end up, becoming the town’s butchers. I really need a butcher in town, because I have too many animals, mostly male pigs in this household (and 8 more piglets were born this round!).

~*~

When Portia was still a toddler, one of the twins would go jogging, while the other one was taking care of their little sister. Portia was obsessed with Creativity wants since she was a toddler, but she had only the Logic toy. Upon age up she managed to max out the skill by playing the piano. I swear I never fed any of my kids smart milk, so it must have been just the fall aura that made her learn it so quickly. She aged up on Wednesday, having learnt all of the toddler skills and the Nursery Rhyme. I gave her her last trait (Party Animal). Her brother had a party this round, so that was quite fitting, especially that she must have been really looking forward to this party. She got to meet her father during the feast. Her father came over together with the head monk and I teleported in the 2 men that would come back to their homes this round because of the ROS I got for this family (just for some storytelling). Cyprian Carbonneau and Franklin Fulke enjoyed the meal immensely and the Crown paid them with a kaching (1000$) for holding this feast.

~*~

They didn’t get to dig for treasure at all this round, because it was very snowy.

375$ - tax.

500$ - rent.

~850$ to the Royal Treasury. The Crown has earned 121.050$ total.

200$ - to the Church (tithe + burial fee for Poppa I didn’t pay the last round, because I was waiting for her ghost to show up and it did… at the very end of their round, after Drifa had already moved in). The Church has earned 20,150$ total.

They were left with pretty much nothing (~30$) before getting the big kaching ROS bonus because of the constant feeding of the parrot that they had to set free. I got them a maypole (stereo) and an easel, because Portia wanted an easel when she aged up (Arts&Crafts is also May’s One True Hobby) and Bay wanted a stereo earlier (Drifa also had a modern looking one in her inventory). After paying everything, they were left with only 190$.

I have to say they got really lucky not with the ROS, but with the numbers they rolled later. Military men coming home from war ended up appreciating the meal they shared with them and the family was given 1000$, even despite everyone’s really low cooking skill. That's the most they could get with their nonexistent culinary potential. If you really want to know what I think... they probably ate the pigs...

~*~

I moved Drifa in with the sim blender. She’s 3 days younger than Bay and May. She will still age up at the very end of the next round and they can get married properly then. Before I moved in Drifa, I had also double checked how much money she was supposed to have and put it in her wallet. She had 825$ initially (from playing the piano and inheriting money from Myron), but as she had to pay a tax on that, she was only allowed to take 500$ with her. It left the Jenkins family with 1342$, as Sibyl won a swimming contest last round. They probably didn’t even notice Drifa’s leaving, since their money still checks out.

#ts2 #mcc #medieval charter challenge #round 4 #fall #winter #peasant #pigs

0 notes

thoughtcock · 2 years

Text

an assignment from my therapist

The best case scenarios of a healthy relationship that i want

The best partner: someone who i think is cute-looking. Someone who gives me space and understanding as I do my best to be more open and vulnerable with him, someone who picks me up from work/places, someone who can sing or play the guitar/piano and we can sing songs together, someone who accepts my flaws and loves me just as the way i am, someone i can truly be myself with no judgement, someone who communicates with me or tells me where i’m wrong in a tactful manner, someone who is willing to hear about my mundane work complaints and bitches about work back with me/listens patiently, someone who cooks me nice meals, someone who can take the effort to plan dates for me, someone who surprises me during special events by bringing all my loved ones together, someone who is willing to admit wrongdoing when i call him out on it, someone who can take roller coasters with me, someone who is adventurous and spontaneous, someone who can accompany me to bars and clubs while having fun together, someone who loves to travel and takes nice pictures of me, someone who is fit and works to be fit together with me, someone who helps me with errands and fixes up my furniture and carries my things, someone willing to try new hobbies with me. someone my family and friends like a lot, someone who accepts my past and not feel insecure or judgmental about it, someone who accepts my body, someone who thinks i’m beautiful, someone who is there for me when i’m sad, someone who has similar music tastes as me, someone who can actually give me an orgasm lol, someone who can give the best hugs and kisses, someone who can tell whats wrong with me just from my behaviour, someone who can be my plus one at parties/networking events, someone who can do last-min favors for me, someone who loves my dumb dorky self, someone whom i can confidently say ‘i love you’ to.

The best date: we go travelling to a scenic place and my boyfriend surprises me by renting a camper van, decorated with fairy lights, pillows, soft toys. there is a speaker blasting songs we both love and sing along loudly to as my boyfriend drives. we laugh and he holds my hand on one side while drives with another. he stares at me from time to time and i get bashful. finally we reach some seaside or cliff overlooking the horizon. we get out picnic boxes filled with sushi, wine and cheese. we lay on the pillows, cuddling and looking out as the sun sets, we talk about life and just have great deep conversations. we look at each other in the eye and then lean in for a kiss. and he says ‘i love you’ to me. i say it back and actually mean it.

The best time when living together: we get a nice 2-3 bedroom apartment, with one or two cats that we love very dearly. he gets up and feeds the cats while i cook up breakfast. we have them together in bed. since its a stay home day, we decided to do chores together. i start decluttering our place and we uncover fun memories we had forgotten about while digging through items, we laugh and playfully argue about different versions of the events. and then put up fun music as we sweep the floors and do the laundry. afterwards, we head out for lunch and visit a nice cafe, ordering overpriced tea and take nice photos. we decide to get groceries and cook a fancy steak meal tonight. so we hold hands while walking along the aisle, comparing what are the best items to buy. he helps me carry most of the groceries and we head back feeling excited to cook. coming back we played with our cats and fed them again. we delegate tasks of cooking the dinner, and begin talking about our family and friends and whatever we were up to in work. as dinner is almost done, i take out some candles and dimmed the lights for an impromptu candlelight dinner. my boyfriend likes the idea. we ate talked some more, sharing deep feelings about everything under the sun. finally we washed the dishes together and decide to watch a show before falling asleep. we head to the living room, cuddle with each other and the cats, and watched a romantic comedy. and then we headed off to bed together and said good night, looking forward to the next day together :)

The best life alignments: we have pets instead of kids, we migrate to different cities if given the chance, we have similar political and societal views, we both are trying to become better versions of ourselves

0 notes