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stardustcatcher · 2 years

Text

First Time

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 6.7K

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors DNI), swearing, maybe a teeny-tiny bit of negative self image, drinking, smoking, praise, jakey’s a sweetheart, it's real fluffy smut so... (please let me know if i missed anything)

AN: this is my first time posting a fic so please be nice to me or i'll cry. all feedback is appreciated, also huge thanks to @mintysammykiszka for encouraging me to post because without her i probably never would've. okay, I'm done talking now. i hope you all enjoy :) [i found the pic above on Pinterest, so credit to whoever it belongs to]

there might be some typos and horrific grammar so sorry about that one besties

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Josh had told (Y/N) about the party he and Jake were throwing before it was really even a plan. She had started out as one of Ronnie’s friends, the pair clicking immediately since being paired together for a project in English, but Josh had seen the way his twin looked at the girl when she came over to hang out with their little sister. In her time hanging out with Ronnie, (Y/N) had been a frequent flier in the Kiszka house and soon became a favorite amongst all the residents. Kelly and Karen adored her, Sam was quick to bond with her over their love for the stars, Josh appreciated her interest in his film projects, Ronnie was happy to have a friend of her own who was a girl around her own age, and Jake—well, Jake was hopelessly enormed by the girl.

Everything about (Y/N) was perfect to Jake. She was brilliant, but in a humble way where she would never make you feel bad for not being as smart as her. She was gorgeous with an amazing body that she had grown into over the last year or so. She loved all the music that the boys had grown up with and even introduced them to a few artists they had never heard of. (Y/N) was an expert in all things literature, writing, film, and basically everything creative. Jake could listen to her talk about anything and everything for hours, there was nothing she could say that the boy would not find utterly fascinating.

The plan was for (Y/N) to head over after work, driving herself back to the Kiszka house as she usually did on Fridays. Karen and Kelly were taking Ronnie to some concert for the weekend and left the boys to their own devices, they were old enough to spend one weekend alone. But all Josh and Jake saw was the perfect opportunity for a party. Mama and Papa Kiszka lovingly asked (Y/N) to make sure the boys didn’t kill each other for the weekend before they left and she felt a little bad knowing at least one small piece of furniture would be getting torched if the twins got one too many drinks in them.

Seven-thirty on Friday evening, (Y/N) was accompanying Josh on their trip to the liquor store just outside town. Not fourty-five minutes later, the trunk and backseat of (Y/N)’s 2004 Honda Civic was filled to the brim with cases of beer, a keg, and varying bottles of rotgut. The radio was blasting, the windows all open, and Josh had his feet kicked up on the dashboard. He turned his head to (Y/N) and took a moment to admire her features, he couldn’t argue with his twin brother on the fact that she was absolutely breathtaking. From her shaped brows that framed her pretty eyes, to the delicate slope of her nose and plump lips, soft jawline and high cheekbones, and the soft looking hair that surrounded her face like an angel’s halo. To Josh, and probably all the Kiszka boys, (Y/N) was divine femininity personified.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” (Y/N) chuckled, breaking Josh from his trance.

“Just admiring your beauty, my darling,” Josh smiled, all perfectly straight and white teeth on display. She only scoffed at him and resumed her gaze on the road ahead. Josh and (Y/N) just had that type of relationship, the one where it was unclear to people if they were a couple or just extremely close. It was the latter, Josh didn’t like (Y/N) like that and he knew she felt the same way about him. She was one of his best friends and an outlet for him to pour his affection into, a person to cuddle up to and love on without the added drama and complication of a true relationship. Josh loved (Y/N) and she loved him back, but they were purely platonic soulmates. “Y’know, this is the perfect opportunity to talk to Jake tonight,” Josh said, reaching over to where one of (Y/N)’s hands laid on the gearshift and holding it in his own. That was probably one of the things Josh loved most about (Y/N), her ability to accept and return affection without making it weird.

“Talk to him about what?” (Y/N) asked, relaxing her hand in Josh’s hold. She tried to play coy, like she had no clue what he was talking about, but they both knew she was a shitty liar. Josh let out an exaggerated groan, throwing his head against the readrest before giving her an incredulous look, always one for the dramatics. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Seriously!” the eldest Kiszka exclaimed breathlessly. “I’m talking about the palpable sexual tension that seems to magically appear every time you two are within a hundred feet of each other!”

“I thought you were going to let this go,” (Y/N) looked at him, eyebrows raised pointedly in his direction. Ever since she had started hanging around longer, Josh had been nagging her about how Jake was clearly in love with her—his words not hers. (Y/N) just couldn’t see how a boy that beautiful could harbor feelings for her, in her eyes she was average at best. All she saw was how her hair always seemed to be a mess or how her thighs rubbed together uncomfortably when she wore shorts. It’s not like she thought she was hideously ugly, she just really couldn’t see how it was possible for a god like Jacob Kiszka to be attracted to her when she was so plain.

“Not until you two confess your undying love for each other or at least fuck it out,” Josh shook his head stubbornly. (Y/N) groaned at his vulgarity but he could see her cheeks flush red. “I’m serious! We’re twins, you think I don’t know these things? Not to mention, we share a room! So I hear his little happy noises and a certain beautiful girl’s name whenever he thinks everyone is sleeping. Mark my words! You two will fuck or so help me God—”

“Okay Josh! I get it!”

People started filling the house around half past nine, it was around that time that (Y/N) felt grateful that the Kiszkas lived on a small plot of land with their neighbors a good distance away. Jake and Josh had been quite popular amongst the highschool’s student body before they graduated, with Jake being friendly with the athletes and music kids and Josh being close with his theater buddies and mostly everyone else since he was a social butterfly. Jake had already started the bonfire out back while Josh appointed himself DJ since he declared he had the best music taste.

(Y/N) wasn’t necessarily popular, she was actually quite the introvert in school, but she could get along with mostly everybody. But she mostly stuck around the Kiszkas, feeling most at ease with them by her side. She split her time talking about anything and everything while wedged between Sam and Danny, making drinks and socializing with Josh, and checking out back to make sure Jake didn’t start a forest fire or burn the house down.

As the night got colder, (Y/N) joined Josh in the backyard by the firepit. She was huddled into his side with a blanket wrapped around them as he animatedly told the story of Kelly cutting Jake’s hair off with shears after the boy said something to upset his father. Her head buzzed from the alcohol and her stomach hurt with how hard she was laughing. Both her legs were thrown over Josh’s as she leaned into him, holding her red solo cup in her hand tightly.

From across the fire, Josh could see his twin eyeing him and (Y/N) as he strummed on his guitar with some of his music buddies. Deciding that he had seen enough of the pining glaces, Josh took the hand that wasn’t wrapped around (Y/N)’s waist and began to trail it up and down her calf that was laying across his lap. She only leaned into him more, assuming it was just Josh being affectionate, and laid her head on his shoulder.

He looked down at her sweetly and asked if she could refill his cup, claiming his legs had gone numb from the cold. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at him teasingly and snatched the now empty cup from him. He thanked her dramatically, peppering small kisses across her cheeks. She pushed him away, giggling as she got up to head inside, missing the glare that Jake shot at his twin.

Weaving through a sea of people while tipsy proved to be a challenge but once she got to the counter where the liquor was housed, it was a breeze. Music thudded through the walls as she focused on filling up the cup, but she nearly spilled the whole thing when a pair of hands wrapped around her waist. (Y/N) was ready to punch whoever laid hands on her, but when she turned around and only saw Sammy, her fists unclenched. He was the tallest of his family and the movement of his gangly limbs were less than graceful being as crossfaded as he was. His pretty brown eyes were glazed over and red as hell, he was definitely stoned alright. “Sorry, (Y/N),” he smiled apologetically. “Didn’t mean t’scare ya.”

“It’s alright, Sammy,” she chuckled at him as he leaned most of his weight against her to pull her into a tight hug. “You okay, bub?”

“Yeah, I’m great,” he giggled. From the few times (Y/N) had seen Sam intoxicated, she could tell he was touchy and giggly whenever inebriated. He was touchy and giggly all the time anyway, but all that love he had in his heart seemed to be magnified when he wasn’t sober. “I’m just so glad you’re my friend, y’know? You’re like my best friend, but don’t tell Daniel,” he whispered the last half of his sentence. “When we get really famous, you’re gonna come everywhere with us! ‘Cause we would die without you, especially Jake—” (Y/N) wanted to ask what he meant but she didn’t have time to before he started talking again. “—like that time I was sick and you brought me soup and all my homework after school. You’re like a mom, but like in a good way, like a hot mom. Y’know what? For your birthday I’m gonna get you a little fanny pack for you to put important shit in, like bandaids and Advil and lollipops for when I get cranky because I don’t have sugar—” Sam rambled until (Y/N) put her hands on the sides of his face.

She knew how hyper Sam could be normally and she guessed that the mixture of weed and alcohol that he consumed amplified that, the last thing she needed was an overstimulated Sam on her watch. “Sammy, babe, I gotta get this drink back to Josh outside,” she looked him in the eye, her own vision a little fuzzy around the edges. “Come with me, you could probably ask Jake to let you throw some shit in the fire,” his eyes lit up at that suggestion and he nodded eagerly.

Smiling, (Y/N) grabbed his hand and led him back through the ocean of people and outside. The cold air hit her like a brick wall and she shivered. Sam let go of her hand quickly and unzipped the baggy hoodie he had been wearing before draping it over her shoulders. She smiled at him thankfully and led him to where Josh was. They sat down next to the eldest Kiszka and he grinned, taking his drink from (Y/N) and kissing her head as a thanks. Now she was wedged between two human furnaces and was happily content with her legs thrown over Josh and the top half of her body leaning into Sam, his arm thrown across her chest.

Josh smiled mischievously at his little brother and motioned for him to come closer. Sam leaned his head behind (Y/N) and Josh shot one more look at his twin—who was glaring even harder than before. Cupping his hand around his mouth so no one could see, Josh carefully whispered something into Sam’s ear that caused the younger boy to bark out a laugh and nod. “What’re you two whispering about back there?” (Y/N) asked, looking up at Sam when we resumed his previous position.

“Absolutely nothing, my sweet,” Josh said, his words innocent but there was an evil glint in his eyes. One that meant he was up to no good.

The party died down around three in the morning, half of the participants had left and the others—mostly inner circle—were found sleeping around the Kiszka house. Danny insisted on helping (Y/N) put Sam to bed, not wanting the girl to deal with the plastered boy alone. The pair dragged him up the stairs and into Ronnie’s room, situating him with a towel over the pillow and a trashcan next to the nightstand in case he got sick. “What have we learned, Sammy?” (Y/N) asked expectantly, helping him take off his jeans and get into some comfy clothes.

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker,” Sam hiccuped. “Liquor before beer, in the clear.”

“Good boy,” she nodded, knowing how much of a lightweight Sam could be, but it was nice to see him let go every once in a while. He had been pretty stressed over Jake being harder on him about the band so it was good for him to have a night free of inhibitions.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” the boy slurred, his face pressed into the pillow. “I love you, you’re the best.”

“I love you too, kid,” (Y/N) smoothed his hair from his face. “Now go to sleep,” by the time she pressed a kiss to his temple, he was already snoring. “Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit, please, Danny.”

“You’ve got it boss,” Danny gave a little salute and laid himself on the small futon Ronnie had in her room. “Sleep tight, (Y/N),” the boy gave a dopey smile, he wasn’t as drunk as Sam but he certainly wasn’t sober either.

“Night, Dan,” she kissed his forehead quickly before closing the door and padding over to Kelly and Karen’s room. The door was cracked open and she could hear small snores from the inside. On the king sized bed, Josh was spread out like a starfish on his stomach, butt naked. (Y/N) scoffed with a smile and grabbed one of the knitted blankets from the closet before throwing it over Josh’s body. He cuddled into the warmth in his sleep and gave an unconscious grin. (Y/N) couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she brushed a curl from his face and pressed her lips to his cheek.

She made her way to the back patio and sat on the porch swing, wrapping the blanket that was there around her and picking up the small metal cigarette case where Josh kept his pre-rolled joints. (Y/N) lit one up and looked into the backyard, the dying fire and discarded cans and bottles in the grass, as she inhaled the smoke. “I didn’t know you were still up,” a voice spoke up as the light from the kitchen seeped through the backdoor. (Y/N) looked up to find none other than Jake Kiszka leaning against the frame, looking gorgeous as ever.

“I just finished my rounds,” she smiled, scooting over and patting the seat next to her. Jake sat down silently and she passed him the joint. “You should keep your brothers away from vodka, it makes them surly.”

“Which one,” he asked, smoke billowing from his lips in the light breeze.

“Both,” (Y/N) laughed, taking back the joint from Jake.

“You’re good for taking care of them like that,” Jake said, taking a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and pulling one out with his teeth. “I probably would’ve left Sam face down in the basement.”

“Poor kid’s gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow,” she took another pull from the joint and dared to take a look at Jake.

His hair was tucked behind his ears, not quite long enough to completely stay out of his face yet but still longer than it was in school when it swooped over his forehead in a fringe. He wore a button up shirt, it was denim and halfway undone with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of black jeans that tucked into the tops of his Chelsea boots. He truly was beautiful, all sharp angles and cords of lean muscle stretched under tan skin. He and Josh may have been identical twins but there was something so different about Jake, something that even differentiated him from Sam and Ronnie. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, quiet and reserved most of the time but still observant, or maybe it was something just uniquely Jake that she’d never be able to place. But he had this air about him that just screamed safety, he was easy to talk to and be around, never pressing for conversation. He was content in the quiet if that’s what his company called for.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Jake said, breaking the silence. “I mean, I know all these people aren’t really your thing but I’m happy you’re here.”

“I’m not a fan of most people, but I can socialize when necessary,” (Y/N) joked lightly, feeling heat flush to her cheeks at his admission. “You all make it easier.”

There was another lull of quiet, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. (Y/N) shifted slightly, her knee moving from where it was tucked under her, brushing against Jake’s exposed forearm. Sparks of electricity shot through her skin at the contact and she couldn’t help but look at his side profile and admire his features. He looked as if he’d been carved from marble, like he belonged in the Accademia Gallery with Michaelangelo’s David.

In a burst of slightly stoned confidence, (Y/N) leaned over and pecked the corner of Jake’s mouth. A gasp escaped his lips, barely audible but loud enough for her to hear from her spot next to him. Her eyes went wide, not believing she had really just done that, and her breath was heavy in her chest. Regret washed over her, worried that she had ruined their friendship and she went to say something, anything really, but Jake beat her to it.

“I—” he gulped, his eyes meeting hers. Their noses almost touching, he could smell the perfume she wore. “I always thought you liked Josh, or Sammy. They were all over you tonight.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Just you,” she whispered. “Only you.”

That seemed to be all Jake needed to hear before he surged forward and planted his lips against hers. It took a second for (Y/N) to actually process that Jake was really kissing her and that she needed to kiss back, but once she did, she melted into him and the hand that he had laid against her cheek.

His lips were so soft and warm and he tasted like cigarette smoke and beer, (Y/N) was drowning in his taste and scent. She never wanted to not be kissing him. It was sloppy and messy at first, Jake obviously having more experience than her, but as his hand moved to grip her hip, they fell into rhythm with each other. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hip, dull nails scraping at the skin.

(Y/N) was the first to break away, hating that she needed air. Their foreheads rested against each other’s, breathing heavy as Jake’s index finger traced over her cheekbone. “Want to head inside?” he asked in a whisper, moving to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. The idea of kissing him more inside was too good to pass up, so she just gave him a breathless nod. They untangled from each other, Jake standing first and extending a hand to (Y/N). She took it and followed him as he led her through the house and up the stairs. They stepped over sleeping partygoers, giggling and chuckling quietly as Jake stopped in the middle of the hall to kiss her again. He smiled at her as if she had hung the stars herself, such adoration gleaming in his dark eyes.

Stepping into the room that the Kiszka brothers shared, (Y/N) felt something she had never felt in that room before. She had spent many nights in that room, either cuddling up with Josh or laying on the floor with all three of the boys while listening to records. Now, here she was in the very room that she slept in more than her own, alone with Jake. Something she had never done before. She really got a good look at Jake’s portion of the room for what seemed like the first time, not cluttered with hippie shit like Josh’s or an organized mess like Sam’s. She could see the posters meticulously hung on the wall in an order that only Jake understood, and the way his end table was set up so he would actually have to sit up to turn off his alarm clock.

(Y/N) was snapped from her daze when she felt Jake’s hands grip her hips and his lips on her neck. She leaned back into his chest and craned her neck to the side, giving him more room to pepper kisses. His hands ran up and down her sides, following the soft curves and contortions of her body’s shape. Jake’s nose nuzzled against her throat and he breathed her in, smelling the scent of her shampoo and body wash. A beautiful mix of something floral and fruity. “So pretty,” he sighed against her, his entire front pressed against her back.

“Look who’s talking,” she replied, turning her head to capture him in another kiss. (Y/N) turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck as he backed them up to his bed. He sat on the mattress and pulled her on top of him. Her knees straddled his thighs and she followed him as he laid on his back. Jake’s hands once again roamed her sides before moving down the expanse of her back and planting them right above her ass. He kneaded the flesh there, swallowing the happy sighs she let out. (Y/N)’s hands rested on his exposed chest as her fingers traced his collarbones. She pulled back from the kiss and rubbed her nose against his.

“You okay, baby?” he asked, voice gruff yet still soft. The look of concern in his eyes and the use of the pet name warmed (Y/N)’s heart. “We don’t have to do anything if you don't want to.”

“No,” she shook her head softly as she sat up again, Jake following her with his hands still rubbing her lower back gently. “I want to, I want you. I’m okay, just savoring the moment. I never thought this would really happen. Also, I—” she paused, clearing her throat. “I’ve never done this,” she motioned between them. “I just thought you should know. But I want to, with you… If you want to.”

Jake noticed her cheeks flushing and her uncertain gaze, he smiled warmly and held her chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “Hey,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers again. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, sweet girl. I’m honored that you trust me enough to do this, I’ve wanted this for so long. We’ll go at your pace, whatever you’re comfortable with, okay?”

(Y/N) blushed once more and nodded. “Yeah okay,” she smiled shyly. Jake returned her grin and patted her thigh, telling her to get up for a second. She moved off him and watched as he made his way to the record player in the corner of the room, he thumbed through the milk crate that housed his vinyls before picking one and setting it on the turntable. (Y/N) wasn’t sure what record it was but there was no doubt that it was one of Jake’s, the twangy and gruff vocals along with the bluesy guitar. As he walked back to the bed, he stood between (Y/N)’s legs and leaned down for another kiss, but he wasn’t focused on her lips for long.

Jake’s lips carefully made their descent to (Y/N)’s jawline and down her neck, nipping and sucking at any place they could reach. He pressed a tender kiss to the skin right under her ear before grazing his teeth against the spot and sucking a deep red mark into the previously unblemished skin. Evidently, it was a sensitive spot if the way she gripped the hair at the back of Jake’s head was any indication.

She let out a soft whimper as Jake moved lower, biting softly at her throat, testing the waters. His hand moved up her front and went to rest on the swell of her chest, his palm sitting atop her breast. Jake could feel her nipple harden through the thin fabric of her shirt and he felt his pants grow just the slightest bit tighter. “Can I?” he asked, looking up at her through his lashes with desperation in his eyes.

“Do it,” she breathed in response. He stripped off her shirt, (Y/N) lifting her arms at the appropriate time, and threw it to the ground. A broken sounding groan clawed its way from Jake’s throat when he laid his eyes on her bare upper half. (Y/N) felt exposed, her whole body growing hot at being on display for the boy she’d yearned for since forever and she instinctively went to cover herself up, but she didn’t get far before Jake laid his hand on her wrist.

“Don’t hide from me, you’re so pretty,” he whispered, moving her arms out of the way and dipping his head down to take her in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the stiffened peak of her nipple.

She whimpered, her hand resuming its place on the back of Jake’s head, her fingers tangling in his brown hair. His hand focused on the breast he wasn’t mouthing on, nimble guitar fingers tweaking her nipple. He lightly pushed back on her shoulders, prompting her to move up the bed. Moving his mouth to her other breast, giving it the same attention as he had the previous one, he crept one hand under her skirt and played with the waistband of her underwear.

He could feel the growing damp spot between her legs and the heat radiating off of her. Jake kissed his way down her body, leaving small marks as a trail and paying extra attention to the dips of her hips. “Is this okay?” he asked, sitting back on his heels with his hands on the waistband of her skirt. (Y/N) nodded, her brain not being able to comprehend words at the moment, but Jake shook his head at her. “I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.”

“More than okay,” she all but whined, wiggling her hips only the tiniest bit. “Please, take it off.”

“As you wish,” he winked smugly, pressing a kiss just below her bellybutton. After pulling her skirt off, Jake discarded his own shirt since it seemed a little unfair for her to be totally naked and him being completely clothed. (Y/N) looked at him with hooded eyes, her pupils blown with lust and love. Sinking to his stomach, Jake peppered kisses up her legs, starting at the ankle and moving up to the crease of her thigh and then doing the same with the other. “You’re in charge here, (Y/N). You tell me what feels good, and if you ever want to stop you just say the word. Got it?” he looked up at her from his spot between her legs, though (Y/N) doubted she was really processing anything he said when he looked that beautiful.

“Got it, just please do something,” (Y/N) begged. Jake gave her an evil looking smirk before trailing his index finger through her folds. She gasped at the contact and arched her back when that very same finger breached her entrance.

He slowly pumped his finger in and out, letting her get used to the sensation before he added his mouth to the equation. His lips pressed a chaste kiss to her clit before his tongue licked a stripe up the length of her. (Y/N) couldn’t help the moan that escaped her, from the heat of Jake’s mouth to the slight crook of his finger, the stimulation was overwhelming. Her hand shot down and grabbed at the hair on the top of his head, making sure not to grab too tight and hurt him. But the groan that left this mouth and vibrated through her proved that hurting him was the last thing she was doing.

His mouth sucked on her bundle of nerves for a moment before he added a second finger to the first. The stretch of her walls was a welcomed burn and (Y/N) was sure she saw stars when Jake would curl his fingers just right, hitting a spot inside her that she never knew existed. He detached his mouth from her momentarily and looked up, the look of pure bliss on her face was almost enough to make Jake cum then and there. “You taste so good, baby,” Jake cooed, his fingers still moving at a steady pace. “Doing so well.”

(Y/N) whined and ground down into his hand. There was something about Jake that she just knew was different, he wasn’t doing this just to get in her pants, or for some quick fuck. Jake genuinely enjoyed making girls cum, this gave him as much gratification and pleasure as it did her. It was clear in the way he watched her movements or smiled against her when he knew she liked something. It was refreshing and different than what (Y/N) expected because even though Jake was one of her closest friends, he was first and foremost a young male. But he seemed to really care if she was having a good time, and that made him ten times hotter. “Please, Jake,” she panted, chest heaving. “Wanna cum, please.”

“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispered just loud enough for her to hear before he brought his mouth back to her. He could feel her walls begin to flutter around his fingers and picked up the pace in which his tongue was licking. Strings of moans and curses flew from (Y/N)’s lips as the muscles in her thighs began to twitch. Jake moved his thumb to replace his mouth on her clit and rubbed small circles over it. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he encouraged, his voice and breath sounding just as ragged as hers was. “Cum for me, I’ve got you.”

And with a final curl of his fingers, (Y/N) came with a cry of Jake’s name. His fingers continued their work, helping her through the aftershocks of her orgasm. “Jesus fucking christ,” she panted when Jake pulled his fingers from her an sucked them clean.

She sat up quickly and grabbed Jake by the back of the neck, pulling him into a feverish kiss that was all tongue and clashing teeth. His hands immediately went to her waist and he moaned into her mouth, she could taste herself on his tongue and her cheeks flushed at the thought of it. Jake shimmied his pants off and pulled (Y/N) to sit on his thighs, she broke away from the kiss and began to nudge her nose against his cheek. “Fuck me, please,” she whispered, breath fanning over his face.

“Hold on, baby,” he nodded at her, wrapping an arm around her and leaning over to his bedside table. He opened the top drawer and pulled a gold packet out before ripping the top off with his teeth. Jake tapped her hip and she obediently lifted them for him as tugged his gray boxer briefs down and rolled the condom onto his leaking hard-on. (Y/N) only got a glimpse of it in the dark room and her eyes widened, realizing that was going inside her. Jake’s hands went back to her hips and his thumbs rubbed small soothing circles against the skin there. “Ride me,” he said looking up into her eyes. “You control the pace this way.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” (Y/N) said quietly. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll help you, angel,” Jake nodded and scooched back onto the bed, taking (Y/N) with him. He pressed his lips to hers again, one hand moving from her hip and going to cup her cheek. “You’re so gorgeous.” (Y/N)’s breath hitched, he’d called her pretty before but never gorgeous. Gorgeous felt more personal, more intimate. She felt his hand leave her face and move to grip his length by the base. He guided it to her entrance and held it there, it was up to her to make the final move now.

One last look at Jake was all it took for (Y/N) to know that this is where she wanted to be, she wanted to be in Jake’s arms, close to him in every way possible. She pecked his lips once more and braced her hands on his shoulders before sinking down onto him.

Her walls stretched and fluttered, trying to get used to the foreign object inside her, as she let out a shuddering gasp. Jake’s hand—that was once guiding himself into her—planted itself in the center of her back, pulling her impossibly closer. (Y/N)’s head dropped to his shoulder as she stilled, letting herself adjust to his size. “So big,” she groaned, it felt like she could feel him in her stomach and the angle had him laying against just the right spot.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Jake whispered breathlessly, his hand rubbing up and down her naked back. “Doing so well. Feel so good around me, such a good girl,” he rambled, his words being the only thing that tethered them both to this earth. (Y/N) keened at the praise and gave an experimental roll of her hips, making both of them let out sounds that could make a pornstar blush. (Y/N) honestly couldn’t give less of a shit if any one of the sleeping party-goers heard them, this was the best she had felt in her entire life. She felt full, and loved, and appreciated. She never wanted to not feel like this.

(Y/N) rolled her hips again, this time more confidently, and threw her head back. Jake’s hand that was on her hip began to carefully guide her motions, helping her lift up and bring her back down. She bit her lip to quiet the screams that she felt brewing in her throat and began to move on her own accord. Jake looked up at her blissful face, the way her eyebrows scrunched together slightly, her eyes clenched shut, and beautiful full lips hung open in a silent gasp. “Fuck, Jake,” she groaned. He couldn’t help the whine that escaped him at the sound of his name falling from her mouth, the sound was straight up sinful. Jake’s hands moved down to the curve of her ass, dull nails biting into the flesh as she moved up and down much more sure of herself than before.

“You’re so hot, baby,” Jake panted. “Take me so well, like you were made for me.”

“Feel you so deep,” one of her hands moved to her stomach, right under her navel, while the other laced in the hair at the nape of his neck. She rested her forehead against his and connected their lips. She swallowed all the grunts and moans that Jake let out as her tongue licked inside his mouth. The soft sounds of her ass slapping against his thighs filled the room along with their heavy breathing. “Fuck, switch with me,” she whined and Jake immediately rolled them over now with her laid beneath him, his arms holding him up.

With the new angle it felt like Jake hit even deeper. He grabbed one of her legs and laid it over his shoulder, making her cry out in pleasure. He shifted his weight to one arm, using his free hand to rub her clit. She begged him to go faster, and with how pretty she looked and sounded, he couldn’t deny her. Jake drove his hips into hers at a punishing pace, relishing in the noises that left her. “You’re close, aren’t you, princess?” he asked gruffly. All (Y/N) could do was nod wordlessly beneath him. “I can feel you squeezing me. I’m almost there, baby. Hold on for me,” his head dipped down and sucked at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, mouth meeting the sensitive flesh he had bit marks into earlier.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she gasped, the words falling from her lips like a prayer. “Please, Jake. I’m gonna cum.”

“I know, baby,” Jake groaned, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he chased that high for the both of them. “You’re doing so good. I’m almost there. You look so fucking beautiful. My girl, my good girl. We’ll cum together, okay,” (Y/N) nodded as Jake counted down.

Three more tight circles rubbed on her clit that made her legs tremble.

Two beautiful brown eyes staring into her soul, making tears well in her eyes.

One pair of lips pressed against her own, swallowing her scream as white invaded her sight and she finally let go.

She saw Jake’s brow furrow and his mouth form a perfect ‘o’ shape when he pulled back from her, his hips stuttering and pushing into her as he worked them both through their highs. He was so beautiful in that moment, (Y/N) wanted that image in her head for as long as she lived. Jake waited for her tremors to stop before he carefully pulled out of her, his cheeks flushing when he heard her whimper at the loss of contact. He pulled the condom off before tying it up and tossing it in the trash can.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Jake cooed, rubbing up and down her arm. “Sex 101: always use the bathroom afterwards,” he helped her stand from the bed and wrapped a blanket around her, pulling on his underwear before he walked them both across the hall to the bathroom.

While (Y/N) did her business, Jake wet a washcloth that he grabbed under the sink and nodded for her to sit on the counter when she was done. Once she sat atop the warm laminate, Jake ran the warm cloth over her, apologizing for any discomfort she felt, before he walked them back to his room. They laid down under the covers and Jake pulled (Y/N) into his chest. “Jakey,” she asked quietly, basking in the post-fuck haze that clouded her head.

“Yeah, babe?” he responded, his voice an equally quiet whisper.

“What does this mean for us now?”

“What do you want it to mean?”

(Y/N) pondered the question for a moment, not that she needed to think about it much. “Well, I really like you, like a lot.”

“That’s good, because I really like you too,” Jake smiled down at her, booping her nose lightly. “Wanna go on a date with me?”

“I’d really like that,” (Y/N) whispered, sleep quickly taking over her. “Goodnight, Jakey. I love you,” she mumbled sleepily, sounding so tired that Jake wasn’t a hundred percent certain she had even realized she had said it. But he was glad she did.

“I love you too, baby,” he smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her hair though he was sure she fell asleep before she had a chance to hear him.

#jake kiszka x reader #greta van fleet x reader #greta van fic #gvf smut #gvf x reader #gvf fic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #babby writes #gvf fanfiction

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stormblessed95 · 1 year

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Umm.. I won't necessarily says it is gaslighting. I also thought these happens exclusively with partners. But nope. Recently I watched a blackpink behind the scenes and Jennie was licking Jisoo's ear, which we thought special when Jikook did it. Jennie licked Jisoo's sweaty ear after practice. JK licked jimin's ear after concert. Not much difference tbh.

Also one of my friends, a boy, bit another girl from my class on her arm just because he felt lol. And it left a mark which made her mother to question her lol. No they are NOT a couple nor have feelings and he hasn't bit anyone in class before strong enough to leave a mark. It's just that's how he is and none of his affection towards classmates are 'Romantic'.

Since then I believe what jimin said. That mark on JK's neck happened because he simple bit him hard, to put him down. There's no reason for me to think is happened when they got wild and Jimin sucked a hickey to his neck when Jimin directly told he indeed bit him and the reason.

It's just us thinking there's more to jikook because we can't digest a dynamic like that. But if we look around there are many people who share similar dynamics but are just friends. Instead accept that's how they are, that's their dynamics and it's not because of them fucking behind the scenes.

I swear to God, hun, all this shows is your age. And that's okay. I fully WANT you to accept the range of dynamics that can occur within a friendship and within a relationship and how different that can be at all times. I also hope you realize the reasons I personally think Jimin and Jungkook are in a romantic relationship together is wayyyy more than the 2 physical examples listed here. And I also fully advocate for taking the members at their word. If we look around, you can find similar moments between friends, yes. But you can't actually find the exact moment. Or maybe you can and maybe jikook ARE just friends. But if you can't see the different between this...

And this...

Well, nothing I can do about it. I do have a post explaining the difference between playful love bites and pecks and whatever the fuck jikook had going on there. Chomping down and being silly vs sucking and kissing.... But ultimately you get to decide how you feel about it. But this isn't actually a good comparison at all.

Same for your other one. A playful chomp down on a friend's arm is not the same as a playful chomp down on their neck. One is an erogenous zone and the other is not. One tends to elicit "heyyy stop omg" and the other tends to get a moan. Especially with where said bite was located. Especially with jikooks lowkey small history with "hickeys" appearing in similar spots over the years too. This is just the first they owned and didn't try to cover up. Lol there a comfort in going for the neck during a playful drunken moment than instead going for the shoulder. One is by far more sexually intimate and one is more friendly. I too, have bit my friends before, never did i go for an erogenous zome though. Which to be fair, also includes ears, but again, no one is going to feel anything from the type of bite jensoo had going on, jikook had a completely different type of ear bite moment.

Again, your choice though, to put blinders on to the difference or not. And again, I'm not saying it's a confirmation of Jimin and JK being in a relationship. I'm saying it is a puzzle piece that fits into that kind of puzzle though. And that both of your "other people do it too and they are only friends" comparisons don't ACTUALLY work as comparisons as well as you seem to think. You don't have to agree with me. I encourage you not to and form your own thoughts and stick by them. But if this is all you've got, well it's not something that would ever convince me that everything Jikook do, other people do too.

#jikook #kookmin #jikook hickey #jikook rosebowl

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chawarin-panich · 7 months

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Nani, I gotta tell you that after the epic highs and lows of ep. 7, I feel like reading your 3 fics about FK's really gay fanday would heal me.

I am so sorry for what im about to do to you. I realize that I have lulled you into the false security that I write fluffy FK from all that is my ao3 profile but there's nothing good that can come from episode 7 and FKs repressed gay desire for each other so uh just know that in some ways you did ask and so you're receiving:

Pairing: FirstKhao Rating: G

Firstkhao post GMM fanday concert

-----

There’s few ways to describe riding out another crescendo next to Khaotung, reaching new highs in his life knowing it’s only possible as his partner, next to him. Khaotung’s face is splotchy from the sweat and tears and the cake of makeup who’s durability he’s testing to its maximum. And he looks perfect, he feels perfect, he feels so much better than what First’s imagination could have ever come up with.

Khaotung takes his hand like he doesn’t have to think about it, and even though his heart rate picks up infinitesimally, fast as it was going already, he doesn’t either. Because this is who they are, always ready to support the other, that nothing is truly off-limits, nothing exactly forbidden.

Khaotung tugs him to the dressing room and doesn’t let go until the door is shut behind them, they’ve done this enough times to know that they both need this, First doesn’t know what call it other than aftercare, of just him and Khaotung coming back down into their bodies together after soaring somewhere beyond the capacity that mortal souls were made to contain.

But there’s an undercurrent of something different today, at least in First. It felt a little like he’d given away a little too much of himself, in his performance. Too many loving looks, too much honesty in the way he'd held Khaotung like he'd never let go. It felt like he’d indulged in his greed for Khaotung a little too much, maybe just a drop past what is durable.

But when Khaotung shines so bright, how can First love him with anything but the whole might of his being. Khaotung falls into him like he always does, like he loves First with all of his being and

When Khaotung is like this, small and trembling from the drop in adrenaline, makeup smudged from where he’s finally been rubbing at it because it irritates his eyes, a smear of glitter and a cacophony of the stench his cologne and sweat, shirt loosened, looking almost debauched as he’s tucked in First’s arms how can First love him with anything less than everything he has to give.

“I love you, Fir.’ Khaotung whispers into his shoulder.

What can First do but hold him tighter and say it back.

“I love you too, TungTung. More than anything else.”

And it’s so easy and so simple, so sincere in the way that it’s absolute that he doesn’t feel the need to add, “maybe more than I should” because what’s the point in that. What’s the point in qualifying it beyond the joy of having Khaotung right here, right next to him.

Khaotung looks up at him, his eyes glistening, playful like on stage, holding magnitudes in the way that he shouldn’t. What does it matter when Khaotung closes his eyes when First puts his hand on his cheek, fingers tangling into the cold grime of hair gel pooling at Khaotung’s hair to pull him close. What does it matter when Khaotung shivers and exhales like he’s slotting into place, when First pushes their foreheads together and loves him with a greed that cannot be satiated until he’s consumed Khaotung whole.

What does it matter when he gets to have this, Khaotung pulling him close and loving him back with a sincerity that shatters his heart.

What does it matter, when even if it’s just in this moment, he feels that Khaotung is his and it fills him with a contentment so deep that he can spend lifetimes basking in it.

#nani writes #nani answers #firstkhao fanfiction

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blueaetherr · 2 years

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ok, i loved your writing havertz x reader! singer and wanted a sequel (part 2)!

well, u could write a moment where the chelsea boys listen to some reader music along with havertz, as you mentioned.

[sorry if i got any wrong words, english is not my first language </3]

titled

pairings: kai havertz x fem!singer!reader [she/her]

warning(s): none

summary: the one where kai and his teammates vibe to his girlfriend's new single

a/n: part two to this; thank you anon for the request, and it was perfectly fine. i hope you enjoy this one!

A match ending in a win had the boys in high spirits entering the changing rooms. Vibrant smiles everywhere, exchanging handshakes and hugs, vibes far too high to fall low again, chosen beats switching the mood every few minutes. There was something satisfying about winning a rather difficult game; the rest—everything that followed after—was all too rewarding to want to let go of.

Though, the chosen beats really did switch up the mood every few moments. Old school Drake faded out with a slow and calming singer replacing him for the next few minutes. They heard her voice—Y/N's voice—and everyone went apeshit crazy. All eyes soon fell on Kai, his teammates calling his name, phones already out to record him.

"Oh, here we go again," Mason rolled his eyes, breaking out into a smile. "Another one for Kai, of course." It was common fact that Kai was a heavy subject in Y/N's music and that left no room for the player to even avoid his teammates' teases. Y/N didn't consume the whole of the team's shared playlist, but she did to be heard more than enough throughout the day.

Kai laughed, taking off his jersey. "You guys always to have to be so obvious with it?" He would never hear the end of it from his teammates; they loved to tease him about it, some more than others. The mention, sound or hint of Y/N from anyone, and all glances would fall upon the player. He simply couldn't, and would never, escape his teammates.

"There's so many about Lover Boy that's he's gotten used to it!" Timo said, and he was right. There were more songs about Kai than he could count on his fingers. He was simply the nature, focus and soul of Y/N's music discussions, and there was no shame to it. Not everyone could say that they inspired a song, let alone a whole album.

And Y/N wrote about so much more than just she and Kai, of course; she could carry variety and sophistication with ease. Though she, Kai—the two as individuals—and the relationship was constantly changing. Evolving moods, stages, their ways to communicate with one another. And with that came infinite topics or stories to cover in her discography.

"It must be nice," Christian sighed, turning to his teammate. "Hey, didn't you say Y/N was supposed to release another song soon?" The players were shameless fans of her and more. Everyone was and could be, admitting it or not. Collectively or alone, they kept up with every release, every local event. Always asking for free passes to concerts (they thought it was unfair that Kai could receive all that and more), posting her songs on their socials. Never did the boys fall short of supporting one of their favourite artists.

Kai huffed out a breath as he sat down, ruffling his hair. "Yeah. Uh, it's supposed to come out today or something." He unlocked his phone, and his eyes widened when he took notice of the time. "Wait, no. It should be out now, actually!"

"Someone hurry up and put it on!"

"Okay, okay, I got it," Reece said, seeing as he was the last one to play with the music. He typed and scrolled through his phone before nodding, smiling softly. He had an early feeling that he would enjoy the song. "It's called Interference." He let the volume in the room fall low before playing the song.

It started with a lonely moment of silence—almost like hollow air—before they let her voice fill the room, a bit of shushing so the boys could listen to her words. I mean listening to Y/N was an experience by itself for the boys, for anyone really. They found it so easy and comfortable to fall into her music, her voice, her tunes, her melodies. From the excited looks shared around the room to recording their pure reactions to the song, there was a lot for the team to say. Though, in short, the boys thought Y/N sounded amazing.

Her voice kind and tender, yet almost like she was in the room with everyone else, voice bouncing in infinite directions to reach everyone's ear range personally. After playing a game, sure, it was nice to vibe to music that fit the mood. Tunes upbeat and with max bass, songs claiming victory and the feeling of being beyond the world, something to excite bodies more and keep the adrenaline flowing. That was something but Y/N let the boys sit back and drift the focus away from football, to let loose and relax as they should.

Kai could remember it all like he was right back in the music room all over again, sitting next to Y/N and watching her play the piano and finding her zone. It isn't perfect, as she would say, and I don't want it to be anyway. It had all of its imperfections. It was imperfect. Now more refined and volumised in voice, but that familiarity of Y/N, of her music, of their relationship still remained. All that peace and security and love she spoke on so much—it was all still there, through her voice and beyond her fluid words.

When Y/N's voice faded out Ben fell back in his place, a dreamy smile crossing his face. "I mean-- Kai. She is just," he blew a chef's kiss, a hand hanging over his heart, "wow."

Kai chuckled when the boys were quick to replay the song. "She is, isn't she?" He was very proud of her. For what she created, for what she brought to life, for everything she sourced from a few words scribbled on a piece of paper. Not only because the players liked her music. That was indeed a positive, of course, but rather that she let others feel a certain or different way. That's what she wanted to do, and that's what she delivered. Y/N always did.

"And... this is gonna be on my repeat playlist by tomorrow for sure."

And somewhere, back in the music room, that pride was felt by Y/N. There was a dimple to her grin, a curve to her lips. The players blasted the song in the locker room, singing the lyrics they had yet to know, rocking with the song more than she thought of it herself. The sight of the players (mainly Kai) feeling euphoria galore was enough to get Y/N beginning the creative process for another music project once again.

#kai havertz #kai havertz imagines #kai havertz imagine #kai havertz fic #kai havertz oneshots #kai havertz fluff #kai havertz blurbs #kai havertz x reader #kai havertz x fem!reader #football imagines #football imagine #football oneshots #football fanfic #football blurbs #black!reader #asks #kai havertz x black!reader

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soongtypehuman · 10 months

Text

Update on Things

It’s been almost 4 months since the craniotomy that removed the tumor that was crushing my brain. The hope was that the surgery would cure the mild to moderate cognitive issues I was dealing with, or at least stop them from progressing. I’m sorry to say that wasn’t the case, and many of the problems have gotten dramatically worse.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, least of all because it’s boring. My short-term memory, ability to read and write, as well as speak fluidly, have all been affected negatively. I’ve just had another EEG to see if the seizures are continuing, and will have another MRI this week to assess the amount of damage to my brain from the tumor that had been affecting it for years and any damage caused by the surgery, and to check for a stroke. It’s a lot of fuckery I don’t have all the answers for yet. Once I have answers, then I can begin a more exacting treatment for the problem(s).

Unfortunately, as I said above, the problems are affecting my ability to write.

Planning and outlining have always been the backbone of my writing process, but even more so now. Everything is slower and requires a lot more concerted effort and lots of revision.

In short, I’m not able to create as quickly as I once could, although I’m hoping that will change eventually with enough rehab and figuring out new ways to work around my setbacks.

Ideally, I’d like to continue posting every Sunday, just as I have for over a year, but I might have to accept the idea that, as far as things go at the moment, I might not be able to use my writing time for both a weekly ficlet while also finding the time, energy, and focus to work on longer fics. For the time being at least, I might have to switch to posting every other week so I can allot more time and attention to the longer fics.

I just don’t know yet and can’t set anything in stone either way.

But I did want to say something about all of this because I was worried people might see me posting less frequently or posting work that isn’t as long as it used to be and think that I’ve gotten lazy or lost interest. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, my love of this series is one of the few things in my life that brings me joy and that I can count on (my most beloved @monotremer being the main source of that), and one of my biggest motivators in rehab is trying to return to being focused and prolific where my writing is concerned. But I also have to accept that some things may never return to the way they were.

In any event, I hope to keep posting work regularly, but hope everyone understands if I’m not always able to do that.

Updates on what’s coming:

I was working on a longer fic to post to the Data/Lore collection today, but didn’t finish it, so there’s a shorter ficlet in the non-explicit Positronic Rivalry collection instead. The D/L fic should be ready to post next Sunday (fingers crossed). And while all that’s happening, I’m still working on the multi-chapter in the main series that got much bigger than I originally intended. It’s slow going, but it’s going, and my hope is that it’ll be ready to post in July.

#craniotomy #fibrous dysplasia #writing

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floralcyanide · 2 years

Text

Kinktober Day Eight

Shower Sex - Jerry Schilling

sorry for not posting this yesterday but so much happened yesterday I had no time to write. I'm sorry! so, it's a day late and a little rushed, but it's here. behold day eight of kinktober, shower sex with jerry!! please reblog and like if you enjoy <3

pairing: Jerry Schilling x Reader

warnings: smut, nipple play (I'm sorry sksksk), pull-out method, shower sex, unprotected sex, not much to warn this time really

word count: 1521

masterlist || add yourself to the taglist HERE! || kinktober prompt list HERE!

It’s so frustrating living on a tour bus.

Don’t get it twisted- you love working with your best friend, Elvis, but it can be challenging. Especially with the strenuous tour he’s doing across the country right now. Being surrounded by men, with the exception of Priscilla, also gets on your nerves a lot. The concerts are non-stop, and you’re so tired. You know everyone else is too, including Elvis.

Jerry Schilling, Elvis’ other best friend, is your right-hand man. The two of you have grown close since Elvis asked you to join the Memphis Mafia and work for him in Las Vegas and on this tour. Both you and Jerry are Elvis’ managers and have to spend a lot of time together. You can’t complain, considering Jerry is a nice guy and not that bad to look at. He also is very patient but won’t hesitate to call out an issue. It’s nice to have another person other than you like that around, especially when handling a wild card like Elvis Presley.

You’re alone on the bus currently, as it’s Jerry’s night to handle everything. You often switch due to there already being so many people on-call to handle and escort Elvis to the car, then to the bus. Due to the alleged security issues, everything has a strict schedule and protocol for this tour. Quite literally everything, including who gets the shower on the bus and when. A thought crosses your mind on whether or not you should break the rules and go ahead and shower with hot water for once. You’re almost always last regarding the shower schedule, and it’s starting to grate on your nerves. Besides, no one is here and won’t be for about thirty more minutes. Just enough time to hop in the shower and hop back out. No harm done. You look around the bus for a moment from where you sit on the couch, double-checking to see if anyone is on there. Not a soul. So you hurry to your bunk and pull your suitcase from the storage nearby, shuffling through it for some comfortable clothing to sleep in. You grab a shirt and some pants with clean underwear and snatch up your toiletries, hurrying off to the infuriatingly small bathroom.

The shower is similar to a stall. There’s hardly any room to move around, and there’s just enough space for two people to squeeze in, making it reasonably difficult even to shower alone. You bump into the walls when you go to wash your hair sometimes. After shutting the door, you turn the water on and grab a towel from the small cabinet under the sink. Stripping down, you climb into the hot shower and sigh in contentment. Finally, hot water. You’ll probably get scolded by Jerry for this, even though you’re also the boss. You both are the ones who enforce the shower rules despite getting the short ends of the stick every night. But one time wouldn’t kill anybody.

Your eyes are closed, and the sound of the shower blocks out any other noise from the bus. So, you’re entirely oblivious to the fact Jerry has snuck into the bathroom you didn’t think to lock up. You’re also unaware he’s undressing and is about to join you in the shower until the stall door opens, and a flood of cool air rushes against your body.

“Fuck, Jerry!” you gasp, hurrying to cover yourself and panicking at being caught.

Jerry chuckles, climbing in behind you, “You’re not the only one who wants to break the rules tonight, sweetheart.”

You furrow your brows at him, scooting as far away from him as possible, which isn’t very far in this particular shower.

“You can’t wait like, ten minutes?” you screech, still trying your damnedest not to reveal any extremities.

“If we’re gonna break the rules, we might as well have some fun,” Jerry says, letting a hand rest on your hip as he runs a bar of soap over his body.

You can’t help but look behind your shoulder at him as he does, the suds sliding down his torso down to his lower half. You look away quickly.

“Like what you see?” the sandy-haired man laughs, and your face burns in response.

“Whatever,” you try to move your hip to shrug his hand off you, but there’s no room for extra movement. So there it stays.

You begin washing your hair the best you can, but the feeling of Jerry’s hand on your skin burns hotter than the water. It’ll slide up and down along your side every now and then. It sends chills up your spine despite the raging temperature of the shower. Jerry takes notice and moves his hand closer to your front side. He’s now moving his hand along the front of your thigh as you desperately attempt to condition your hair without reaction. Maybe if you ignore him long enough, he’ll stop. But at the same time, you don’t want him to. You almost want to see where Jerry’s hand will go next.

You start soaping your body, and Jerry snatches the soap from your hand, “Allow me to do that.”

You gulp as the pleasant smelling soap bar glides across your collarbones before moving to your shoulders and arms. Then, he starts moving it along your breasts and stomach. He sets the soap down and starts lathering your body, starting at your arms and shoulders before proceeding to your stomach, and finally your breasts. Jerry takes his time there as he massages them, his lips close to your ear. Your head involuntarily falls back against his shoulder, a gasp leaving your lips as he experimentally pinches a nipple.

“That feel good?” Jerry rasps in your ear, allowing his other hand to pinch the other nipple.

“Mhmm,” you moan, your ass pressing against his hardening cock.

The water rinses away the soap, and Jerry slides his hands down your stomach, moving to where your body is calling to be touched. He slips a finger between your folds, gauging your wetness before chuckling.

“So wet already?” Jerry teases before flicking your clit lightly, causing you to press your back into his chest harder.

You grind your ass against him, and he pushes you forward against the shower wall. Jerry is now entirely in control and lets you know it by gently nipping at your neck. He swipes his fingers over your clit as you whimper from the sensation, cheek firmly pressed on the wall. Jerry pulls his hand away from you, replacing it with the tip of his cock. He rubs it up your folds and on your sensitive bud before hesitating at your entrance.

“Is this okay?” Jerry asks, kissing behind your ear and along your neck.

“Yes,” you say, reaching a hand up to place on his cheek.

He pushes into you slowly, his hands now grasping your hips to anchor himself. Your palm moves from Jerry’s cheek to the back of his neck, where you grip his hair as he bottoms out. He begins to thrust his hips steadily, testing out how hard you slam against the shower wall without making much noise. But caution is thrown to the wind when Jerry hits a particular spot inside you, causing both of you to moan. His thrusts become quicker as your body is delightfully crushed between Jerry and the wall, the water now running cold. Neither of you cares as Jerry snakes a hand past your hip and to your clit once more. You’re panting as Jerry leaves hot kisses down your neck and shoulder, mercilessly fucking you in this impossibly small shower you snuck into. You aren’t regretting your decision at all anymore. If this is your punishment, you’d gladly get into the shower before your scheduled time every day.

“You’re so good,” Jerry mutters, his breath tickling your ear, “I should’ve done this sooner.”

Your face burns at the realization Jerry has thought about fucking you before. You can’t say you haven’t considered the same, but probably not in the shower, at least. You feel Jerry’s pace getting sloppy as his hips start slowly pressing into your ass instead of slamming into it. He rolls your clit between his fingers, and you cum, clenching around him as Jerry hurriedly pulls out. He finishes on your back, and it’s rinsed off with the now freezing water.

“We should break the rules more often,” you say, catching your breath as you peel yourself off the shower wall with shaky knees.

“I agree,” Jerry smirks, reaching around you to turn off the water.

When the two of you get dressed as best as you can in the micro bathroom and exit it promptly, Elvis is sprawled out on the couch watching TV.

“About damn time. And it’s a good thing y’all were quiet,” Elvis says without looking away from the TV, “this is getting good.”

You roll your eyes at Elvis’ comment before plopping down next to him, “You might wanna wait a few minutes before getting in there. The water is cold.”

“I’ll bet it is,” Elvis laughs.

taglist:

@onxlymnsn @anangelwhodidntfall @butlersluvbot @austinbutler17 @mamaspresley @mirandastuckinthe80s @bobbykennedyfan @sodonebruh @lizzymizzy-blogg @defnotreadingfanfics12 @izzvoid @homebodybirkin2003 @thatonemoviefan @kittenlittle24 @tubble-wubble @kaycinema @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @amiets2 @mrs-butler @mesbouquins @ari-nicole @austin-butlers-gf @feral4austinbutler @inlovewithchrisevans @shynovelist @mommy-maia @karamelcoveredolicity @thtguyovrthere @starry-night-20 @coldonexx @hangmanswhorey @beautyofelvis @mavericksicybabe @coco-bitch @bobthefishiesworld @emmymaehereeeeee @myguiltypleasures21 @rainydayz101 @finelineskies @cryingabtab @kaitaesupremacy @ash-omalley @latenighttalking13 @tom-whore-dleston @presleylust @oh-kurva @cece05 @poppet05 @every-dayiwakeup

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theangryjikooker · 1 year

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Hi, I stumbled across your page as I was going through various blogs on Jikook. This may turn into a really long post/ask. Im sorry. I am so new to this fandom lol. I have very little context on a number of things other than what I’ve been reading (which I admit isn’t much) and I’ve never been a shipper so my slate is clean!! I got introduced to BTS through Instagram, around the time of the Busan concert. Run BTS was the first song I listened to and the performance drew me to Jungkook. I don’t have a bias though. Browsing Jungkook videos on Instagram and YouTube led me to the deep dark world of shipping and I discovered Taekook and Jikook both around the same time. Now, while I found Taekook to be quite interesting, what made me sit up and notice was a video (not sure the time but probably baby Jikook) which analysed how Jungkook hated Jimin and then fell for him. And I must admit, I was touched by it. But as I watched more videos, I started seeing Jungkook for was he was in the early days. A really shy introverted boy who was good at everything. And his relationship with his other members was that of extreme affection and respect. But as I kept watching…I saw that with Jimin, there was something else. He was very soft with Jimin. The MMA 2018, Run BTS episode with the frying pan aimed at Suga, the vlive for Jimins birthday and the soft tone he uses to speak to him, at some awards (JK is wearing a red suit and JM a blue suit) and how JK is almost shy(?) of JMs proximity. And then I saw how JM is towards JK - particularly the emergency moments (when JK was injured). It got me thinking if there was more to them.

I come from a country where LGBTQ hasnt gained momentum and so my views on this aren’t as developed. But it’s very obvious to me that there’s something there. Or was there. I’ve not seen any new interactions. So it could be that whatever was there either died or they grew out of it. Or they are together, like a couple of many years and now comfortable enough to grow with each other while pursuing their own interests (as couples would). I have noticed a lot more interaction between JK and V though. And I personally don’t see this as romantic or more than a close friendship. I haven’t seen anything that tells me otherwise.

Anyway, my question (finally) is whether there are particular moments, where you have seen a shift towards more of a friendship for Jikook than something more romantic or potentially romantic. Or do you think that they are still ‘slightly more’ than friends?

Welcome to the fandom! I would urge you to commit to your own conclusions instead of relying on forced narratives (if you can help it). That is to say, try and watch their moments that aren't edited in favor of Jikook. I forgot the channel, but there’s one that posted Jikook moments exactly as they are in as close to a consecutive order as possible. There’s no manipulative editing, no odd splicing, no text or music overlay–just raw content.

I’ll be blunt: the Jikook analysis* video you witnessed, where Jungkook's feelings towards Jimin supposedly changes, is a forced narrative. There are a couple of things to note when observing the volatility between Jikook when they were younger: their age and their personalities. Jungkook was extremely shy when he was a small bean, and painfully so, which immediately affected the way he interacted with his environment and the people in it. Jimin, at the time, had more of a rambunctious personality. To someone like Jungkook, especially at his age at the time, someone like Jimin can be a little too intense.

* All analyses videos are forced narratives because they’re all highly suggestive. They’re good to watch for entertainment, but don’t let your brain fall out in the process.

But that’s teenagers for you.

We can all wax poetic behind their motivations because there is a lot more to it than just superficial details, but your early to midteens are really tumultuous. I think their misunderstanding of one another in their youth could've easily been resolved with communication, but that's hardly a resolution skill they would've developed at that age.

The reason why that particular narrative works and why it's considered a "good" jumping off point for baby Jkkrs is because that specific change in chemistry is revered in pop culture. Jungkook and Jimin could be completely different people, and the narrative will still hold and be felt by anyone who gravitates towards that trope. I think that’s part of the appeal of Jikook on the onset, but if anyone took the time to witness the way their dynamic evolves without any sort of agenda, there’s a very clear shift between them that happens when they enter their late teens. Now, how you decide to interpret that shift is completely subjective (and where shippers will deviate from non-shippers).

Currently, some shippers/supporters do believe that they’ve reached this point of domesticity in their “established relationship” where it’s comfortable and natural for them, etc. It’s not my personal belief, however.

I’m on the same boat as you with Taekook. I think it’s delightful that they’re hanging out, but I fail to see that intimate chemistry between them that their shippers see. I chalk this up to a matter of perspective, and I would much prefer to stay out of that conversation.

Nothing in particular, no. Generally speaking, I find most of their interactions to be on par with the kind of closeness they would’ve naturally developed over the years. It’s only when they act in ways that don’t quite measure up to the context of their known relationship that makes me wonder about their motivations and/or real feelings.

I want to clarify that I don’t view Jikook in terms of being friends or “slightly more than friends” because this particular phrasing can sometimes suggest there’s some validity to a kind of relationship between them, and I’m not that kind of blog. Instead, I’ll occasionally comment on the potential existence of mutual attraction because I feel that this encapsulates a more generalized experience in humans as a whole and comfortably straddles that more neutral POV I strive for when shipping, but it also doesn’t dismiss any merit behind Jikook either.

On principle, I tread carefully when it comes to shipping, so there are things about their personhood that I’m not going to... violate (for lack of a better word)... just to make my narrative of them seem more real or to assuage myself that they’re fine, when the reality is that I don’t know anything about them, their lives, or their relationships with each other and other people.

#TAJ asks #curious anon #jikook #kookmin #bts shipping

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masonalexanderparkconfession · 1 year

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After that small fic I kinda want more if that's alright with you. Could I possibly ask for some dating headcanons for Mason? If not that's fine

- A

Mmh... Alright, Anon A. :-)

I'm not used to write in the headcanon-like manner, so it's challenging, but I enjoyed it! I hope you will have fun reading it. Also, I was kind of in a mood, sooo, it may be reflected in there, haha. ^^"

Dating Mason is a lot of fun. They are outgoing, adventurous, and will keep pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes, they will accidentally push you too far: Dragging you to crowded places making you anxious, for example.

But they are also a caring partner and will stop as soon as they notice/as you tell them. They will apologize, and do their best to make you feel comfortable again.

It was a surprise to the both of us when you started dating. It happened naturally, slowly. You were close friends at first, and you spent more and more time together.

Until some lovely evening, Mason was laughing from an inside joke with you, and you kissed them, on an impulse. You couldn't deny your shared feelings anymore.

They do not show their love through gifts, even if they enjoy to offer you silly, random trinkets which made them think of you. Howewer, they like to go shopping with you, daring each other to try out bold and ridiculous outfits.

They are one to make jokes, and pranks. You will both help them with their mischief and be the one who gets pranked!

Mason is very tactile, touchy-feely! You will have lot of kisses, cuddles, petting, hands holding. And so much Public Display of Affection, haha!

They dedicate songs to you in their concerts. Yes, even if you are shy. And they gesture toward your seat.

Loving them is wild and fun, but it has also surprisingly depth. You will not be the same person with their love that you were without. You will both grown in this relationship.

For special days you celebrate (birthdays, holidays...) they cook you their special pasta recipe. :3

The two of you go out often, but whenever you can, you stay at home for cuddles, binge-watching your favorite shows, and being comfy together.

You are the one who takes the pictures they post on their social medias, especially the steamy ones. Of course, there's many you only keep for the both of you... :)

Since Mason is an independent, free spirit, people may think your relationship won't last, that it isn't "real, or strong enough", but they are obviously wrong.

Lot of healthy communication. You can talk about anything and everything, express your sentiments freely, and settle healthy boundaries without made felt guilty.

You help them during their hard times. Moments of doubts and insecurities, where you have to comfort and cheer them up.

You are so proud of the person they are. You support them in their projects, and they are here for yours as well!

Dating Mason is also having to deal with other people's stares and learning to laugh the bad comments off.

Also, Mason is b*tchy as f*ck during arguments - but they will never make you feel unloved or unworthy.

You miss them while they are working. Your relationhip may be long distance at times, but you always strive to phone/text them.

Or, when you can, you follow them when they have to travel for work!

Also: Clothes swapping between the two of you. Which is lot of fun.

To finish, I would say dating Mason will make you feel loved and cared about, but you will also grow more confident in yourself. You will share wonderful, joyful moments together, unforgettable stages, late night rantings, laughing until you are breathless... While also facing the world together, smirking at it, and give a big f*ck you to all the haters.

(All this is for entertainment only, and it is fictional, about what I imagine dating Mason be like, based on their public persona, but they are their own person and this headcanon isn't meant to reflect a reality. Just entertain us, little people loving Mason's talents and personality.)

#mason alexander park #mason alexander park imagine #mason alexander park confession #headcanon #Anon A

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littlequeen7 · 1 year

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I have barely any followers so I dont expect anybody to see this. But if there is any place to talk about my love for Taylor, it is here.

I've had a few people ask me why I love Taylor Swift so much. I understand why they ask, and why I might get weird looks, parasocial relationships and whatnot. But what they don't understand and what I have a hard time communicating is that Taylor is more than just music to me.

We grew up together. I'm five and a half years younger than her, so she completely shaped my adolescence. When Debut came out I was just starting the 6th grade, the grade when I learned some harsh lessons about bullying and friendships.

Fearless came out in the middle of 8th grade, the worst year of my life. That album was a comfort to me when everything else seemed hopeless. I had cut-outs from J-14 magazine plastered on my walls, of Taylor and the Jonas Brothers. I tried to convince my teacher that we should sing Fifteen at our 8th grade graduation (I lost that one).

Speak Now came out when I was 15, and I listened to that album until every word was ingrained in my brain. My older cousin bought us tickets to her Speak Now tour for my birthday, and she was my first ever big concert. We drew 13's on the back of our hands and screamed along with her while she sang Mean barefoot, while she hit giant bells during Haunted (my favorite song at the time), while she floated over the crowd on her balcony in her Love Story outfit right in front of us, close enough I thought if I reached out I could touch her. I don't remember which cover she sang, but she did it in her purple dress, with sharpie scrawled across her arms. I took so many blurry and grainy photos of her that day. Speak Now will always have a very special place in my heart.

Red came out when I was 17. I learned through one of her diary entries that she had actually written the song Red on the flight home from our concert. To think that I saw her not even 24 hours before she wrote one of the most iconic songs of her career was mind blowing. I was dating now, so all of the songs about relationships became relatable for the first time. I knew from the moment I heard it that All Too Well was the best song of her career, and I have some obnoxious Facebook posts to prove it. The Last Time became one of my favorite songs she had ever made. Flash forward 5 years and I was posting 22 on my Facebook the minute it hit midnight. (Yes, Facebook. I'm old and uncool, we've established that already.)

1989 came out the year after I graduated high school. I was on my own for the first time, completely unprepared and immature, with a toxic partner who I ended up staying with for 5 years. I still have distinct memories of riding the bus past the WWU campus on my way to work, blasting the album in my headphones. I was in my semi-popular Lana Del Rey Tumblr days then, and you best believe I was making gifsets of the Blank Space music video. These were also the years when I sank into my deepest depression. 1989 was a bright light in that darkness.

Reputation came out when I was actually 22, right after leaving the five year relationship, and leaving everything I owned behind me or in storage, while my ex took my two beloved cats. This was my revenge era, my short lived "hoe phase" if you will. I remember listening to it for the first time in the car with my mom while driving to Seattle. I remember listening to it in the kitchen with my then 11 year old sister, and her saying "well that's inappropriate" during one of the songs (probably Dress). I was a little too harsh when I said, "well she's a grown adult, shes writing for herself, not writing for kids." What a brat. I specifically remember one Tumblr post from a fan that went to the Secret Sessions, of her gasping and saying "Taylor!" in a scandalized way during one of the songs (my guess is, again, Dress) and Taylor replying something along the lines of "I know, right!" To this day, Reputation is the album I have the most fun listening to, and the one I blast the loudest in the car.

Lover came out when I was 24, living in a small room without a door in my Grandma's house that doubled as her office. This was the no privacy era and it did NOT slay. This was also the era that I was in love with someone I shouldn't have been (you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes). Every love song on that album was dedicated to him. False God became a new favorite. This was the time right before it all fell apart, when the entire world shut down and I hurt people and was hurt myself (again, stupid prizes).

Folklore came out in the midst of being completely isolated from the world, except being dropped off at work every day and trying to go to college online. The beginning of my severe and debilitating germaphobia. The constant fear that I would catch COVID from my irresponsible coworkers. Not to mention, my heart was ripped open because I was August, and she was Betty. This album, I think, is the one where I couldn't deny the similarities to my own situation. It felt like it was meant for me, in that moment. Seven was for the little me that died when I was young. This Is Me Trying was a letter to my loved ones, when I couldn't explain that my brain was actively trying to kill me. I've only listened to Hoax twice, because that one is the most painful. I was the epitome of "I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home."

Evermore, bless it's heart, came out of nowhere and was an amazing surprise. That being said (Ryan Bergara voice), Tolerate It, Happiness, Ivy, Long Story Short, Closure, Evermore and Right Where You Left Me were a twist in the knife of a trauma that wouldn't leave me, no matter how hard I tried. I was out on my own, truly alone, for the first time in my life. And I was terrified that, like Taylor said, this pain would be forevermore.

The re-records were amazing. I was so proud of Taylor for sticking up for herself and challenging the leeches that had gotten rich off of her talent. The moment she hinted at the 10 minute version on social media, I flipped my shit. Again, I have Facebook posts to prove it lol. I memorized the new verses in a day, I listened to it on repeat for weeks. I was staying at an airbnb the day Red TV came out, and I spent that night dancing around the kitchen with my headphones on.

And now... Midnights. I'm 27 now, and by this point I've lived a thousand different lifetimes. I listened to it in my dorm room alone, with my headphones on the second it was released. And then for good measure, I listened to it again the second the 3 AM version came out. I always need the second listen, to really soak up and understand an album. I made a bracket tournament thingie of all of the songs, and at first Vigilante Shit won, but after a couple more listens, Karma replaced it in the top spot. I listened to this album so much, on repeat constantly, that even though it was released in October, every single song made it to my Spotify Wrapped (not to mention the fact that I was in the top 2% of TS listeners). I was lucky enough to score tickets to the Era's tour, after much anxiety and freaking out from crashing websites and delayed sales. I screamed as soon as it was confirmed. Things have been rough, especially in the last month or so. One of the only things keeping me hopeful is the fact that in 4 months, I will get to see one of my favorite people in concert again.

That's not to mention the merch over the years. A Speak Now Tour shirt, notebooks and posters with Taylor's face on them, two signed CD's, a Red cardigan, a "fuck the patriarchy" keychain, The Scarf, and a few (not as many as I'd like) vinyls. I'm still pissed that my 1989 CD with the polaroids is lost somewhere in my storage unit.

At this point, if anyone is reading this, which I doubt they will, and especially if they have read this far (I'm sorry this post turned into a monster), they're probably thinking that I am a weirdly obsessed fan. Someone who thinks that someone they've never met in person is their BFF. I don't think I'm either of those things, but Taylor Swift has, and always will be a comfort to me. Especially as a neurodivergent person, having just ONE person who has been consistent for most of my life, someone who I can look up to and learn from, music I can listen to and immediately be comforted, is essential. At this point, now that I really think about it, Taylor Swift really is one of my special interests, and she has been long before I even knew that special interests were a thing (late diagnosed).

On top of all of this, she is just a genuinely good and kind person. You don't see that super often, in this cut throat industry. She is someone to look up to, even if Dear Reader says otherwise.

I've been writing this for about half an hour, and my phone is shaking from holding it above my head while I lay in bed and type. If literally anyone gets this far in the post, thanks for reading my weird diary entry I guess lol. Above all else, this is really a love letter to Taylor. Thank you for being there for me through it all.

#taylor swift #taylornation #tswift #midnights #evermore #folklore #lover #reputation #1989 #red tv #speak now #fearless #taylor swift debut #the eras tour #speak now tour

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faithinlouisfuture · 2 years

Note

Hello Emmy!!! Quick! Favorite moment or moments from the EU/UK leg?!

Pics and gifs are very much appreciated! 😌

Criss!!! You know me better than to say quick, you know how I love my rambles and my insanely longwinded posts, there’s no such thing as quick around here 🤓

So without further ado, here we go! In this essay I will … ✍🏽 Seriously though, top five here we go!

- The fact that Louis fully embraced the devil in his brain that brings out the demon in him and started to jump to barricade every single night during KMM. This is both a favorite moment and prime content for my tag set #light of my life #bane of my existence (and before someone @s me, I’ve been referring to Louis that way LONG before Anthony ever said it to Kate, if anything he stole it from me!). I mean, look at this!

gifs courtesy @silverfoxlou

The jumping and getting back up there in itself is enough, but then there’s the mad moments of insane jealousy that come from other people getting to touch him - the collective breakdown all of solo louie tumblr had over this! 🫠

- The entire Amsterdam concert! Where do I even begin?!? He walked out on stage in MESH! Looking like this 🥵

The crowd was electric! There were real actual balloons for KMM and condom balloons for I don’t even know what song 😂 The crowd got to scream “I went to Amsterdam without and all I could do was think about you!” at him! How special is that?!? The projects from that show were great too, and the bands energy was also amazing and Louis seemed to be having a total blast!

- The entire Milan show! The fact that it was the largest audience he was playing to yet, the way that he walked out in that England jersey asking to be mocked, but stuck to his guns, mad man! The crowd was the best yet in my opinion (for the entirety of LTWT22) they were loud, they told him he was beautiful every chance they got 🥲 he had a such a great time and enjoyed the fan projects! The overall energy of the entire show was just great! My little Pepsi bottle had a blast 🤍

- The brain melting, heart stopping, tear inducing, moment™ he decided to spring Change/s.mp3 on us the first time in Łódź !!! The dash went mad, the group chat went mad, the crowd went mad, all of louie twitter went mad and he just sang it like an angel and moved on without even acknowledging it. It was the definition of the louie experience; never knowing what to expect (at least for me). I couldn’t concentrate on anything at all after that. My soul re-entered my body around KMM time I think, before that I was just 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️

- The entire Doncaster show! He was on another level, you could literally see him radiating light and happiness through the screen, I don’t even know how people who saw him in real life survived with their eyesight & sanity intact! If he was a Pokémon he would have levelled up the minute he stepped out on that stage 🤍 So many of the songs/lyrics meant SO MUCH more just because of the fact that he was singing them in his home town, where his journey began. It was everything that I wanted the Donny show to be for him, without any extra theatrics or anything at all. The crew joining him on stage 🥲 just all of it! It was a beautiful beautiful way to end the European leg! (The fact that he had the audacity to play Hey there Delilah at the end 😭 - literally ended me).

Special mentions;

- Every time a new IGTV would drop and all of us freaked out over it together, watching multiple times, gif making immediately, meme making immediately. The energy would always be great on IGTV release days! Especially the one that had the Berlin behind the scenes 100% game content in it.

- Reykjavik shirtless hot springs content 😭😂 absolutely nobody had seeing half naked wet Louis surrounded by half naked wet men in their LTWT22 bingo card, NO ONE. Yet here we are. The reason this is not in my top five moments is that I missed it 😭 like I wasn’t able to be on here or on twitter when it happened, and I had to do post freak out posts which are never as much fun, lol.

#I could literally go on and on 😭#but I think I’ll leave at that for now #the European leg over all felt a lot more genuine and fun than the US/Canadian leg #the overall production of the shows was also so much grander (the screens/ the pyro/ the streamers/ the lighting)#all that being said #i cannot wait for the #LATAM leg #I’m sure it’ll knock everything else right out the part #top 5 moments #(5 is an understatement)#emmy rambles #as usual #whats new #criss ✨#thank you for asking me!!! 🤍#park *

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cathy-gabby · 1 year

Text

An Introduction

If Twitter has not been problematic, I would not have dared create a Tumblr account. Sure, I have heard of it; of course, I have read some blogs from here when I searched for some content. But for me to create one and write some stuff is not something I imagined I would do.

I have been on Twitter since 2011 and never have I posted anything for public consumption. Initially I was there for the news and entertainment which I would like and retweet to be read later during free time. (Of course, in the later years, some BTS tweets would appear on my timeline, but I just was not curious enough then.) I was, and still am, a happy lurker on Twitter, consuming everything Jin, JK, and JinKook, from updates, to photos, to twitfics and AUs. Just like with the majority, if not all, of its users, I would surely miss Twitter should it collapse (but maybe it was just a scare?)

So, this Tumblr merely serves as an account of my Seokjinnie and JinKooker journey, a journal of sorts. Relatively I am still a newbie (though I am in no way a baby army, being older than the average age of BTS fans), but just like with others, I consumed every content available to get to know the boys better until I found my bias. Who knows whether I would still be here in the next 3 or so years when the boys are gone but at least I have chronicled my time with them – something I might look back to with a fond smile on my face, thinking “Ah, those were exciting days. I have Seok Jin in my mind the moment I wake up and before I sleep at night.” Like reminiscing a long-lost love.

Or I would still be here when they return, and this Tumblr journal serves as a comfort pillow absorbing all my thoughts and ramblings while waiting for Jin.

Yes, I am a Jin stan, unashamedly a Seokjinnie.

First Meet

It started with their Boy In Luv performance during their early years which my teenage daughter would play on repeat. Of course, she was an Army since the pandemic and this was her favorite song back then (despite being a JHope stan). I remember watching every playback just to take a glimpse of who I believed to be the handsomest member then (and now still).

Later she showed me the MV and his facial expressions, especially his eyes, caught me – there was no turning back since then.

First saved photo

And I knew it would be for the long haul when I started saving photos I could find online. This is the very first photo of him that I saved on my phone. Hmm, he is so fine, yes?

First vlive

Yes, judging by this being the very first vlive I have seen, I am very much new to the fandom. Honestly, as there were no subtitles and I could not understand anything, I focused only on watching their movements and facial expressions. Cliché as it may sound, but there was something in the eye contact, and secret smiles shared by Jin and JK in this vlive, that made me go soft on them.

So yes, I am a JinKooker, too.

First JinKook Live Moment

That PTD Online Concert on October 24, 2021 was unforgettable for me. My daughter bullied me into watching it with her but my screams were as loud as hers when JK flashed his abs.

And I remember getting all gooey watching their moments, of thinking how they were so subtle, yet the tenderness was so obvious one could not help but feel the love oozing between them.

And so here I am, too late a fan perhaps with what is going on. But, there are still too many original contents I have to watch, original interviews I have to read. And of course, too many fanfics still saved in my bookmarks and liked on twitter and in here, waiting to be read.

Will that be enough to tide me over until 2023? Maybe. Maybe not. Hey, the future is not cast in stone.

But I know I ugly cried listening to Jin singing The Astronaut in Argentina and seeing how happy and free he looked.

I know I waited late at night for JK to perform in the World Cup and felt like a proud parent, watching her son soaring high in achieving his dreams.

First SepAnx

And I miss JinKook. Very much. They have matured and may now be very content and secure in each other’s love, knowing it is real and private and not for public consumption.

As a believer, I can only wish them all the happiness they deserve (especially with the situation they are in – world famous and from a conservative country) and for me to be contented in whatever they would like to share with the public, crumbs or grand gestures (unlikely but a girl can dream).

Here's hoping that this will not be the last JinKook photo before he leaves. And that there will be a repeat of this.

Or this.

A girl can wish.

#jin #jk #seokjin #jeon jungguk #jinkook #seokjinnie #kookjin #new to tumblr

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thetaekookcloset · 2 years

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Late 2018 till mid 2019 was the most suspicious time for me. There was a period when I genuinely thought taekook are not as close as they were behind the curtains. On one hand we were getting continuous updates of Tae with his other friends (Park Bogum, vacation with wooga) Jungkook was spending more time with jhope, BTS members and jimin in particular (no i never thought jikook was possible, never gave me that vibe) but it made me think if some differences are going on between taekook. Especially when in BV4 jungkook said he only met jimin and jhope in a month holiday. I know partners don't have to be attached at hip but a month without meeting was too much. I was upset so I went back to 2018 timeline where Taekook were more freer. The whole timeline became clear to me.

If you remember 2017 was a separation stage of taekook by Bighit we only got a selca but a lot of scenes were edited but atleast we had so many things to pacify us like dispatch posting about them, their interactions at award shows, them slipping sometimes but 2019 was so weird. Nothing behind the scenes, superficial interactions which can be called fan service or interactions as a band member. Yes they both reacted to each other but everything was so normalised if you look at their interactions with others and it was non-frequent. Especially Jungkook was shown non-approaching on camera when he is told to do so, otherwise with edits.

2019 was an altogether different separation era for me. Especially former months. They hardly had any interactions on concert. Anpanman interaction stopped, DNA interaction stopped. Infact so show me, I show you stopped for a while. I think Brazil we got better interaction and Japan too (no fancams allowed). Dispatch who was notorious in posting about taekook started posting them with other members, that I love you sign which was a sort of secret sign between taekook now became a group sign. Bighit was smart, it gave us taekook moments sporadically and so edited but hyped jikook so much in 2019 that it looked to me like they were trying to tell see they are band members but their bond isn't that great as compared to other members. I think concert moments were restrained due to the fact they wanted to believe even though members were performing fan service it's on the spur moment between members who are close and comfortable to do it. That jikook walk in the concert was directed by Tae himself smh. So people who are smart enough understand fan service moments are directed earlier even taekook ones what brings beauty to them is creativity they add on stage.

I think this agressiveness by the company took a toll on Taehyung. He really wasn't up with things. Their exclusive things were made public, they are not allowed to sit together, have to blantatly lie on camera, all of this was maybe difficult for a free soul like Tae. Jungkook on the other hand was engaged in so many group activities I think there was a disbalance at one point in 2019.

My saving grace was Tae's subtle eye moments in award shows, his body intune with Jungkook, that iconic vlive one anon mentioned and them trying to be near each other at concerts despite constrained interactions. But it was really bad to the point army in general noticed Jungkook's awkwardness in taekook interactions and that is why I think Tae's imagination comment on weverse blew up so much. I'll come to this but I want to touch in the topic why I think this happened.

After 2017 seperation by bighit, it was surprising we got all those cut scenes in the form of bangtan bombs from January 2018. I think two factors were at play- one disbandment talks (taekook relationship was a part at play) the other their contract renewal in May 2018. This was to pacify members especially taekook. Remember when Jungkook kept on telling he wanted to tell us something I am still waiting on that coz it stopped after contract renewal. They became so agressive in floating their ship, after contact renewal, that they butchered taekook moments, focus shifted from hyung line. As RM said, they would have disbanded again if Covid didn't happen.

Coming back to that Tae's comment when #taekookisoverParty trended you can see the shift in their interactions. Taehyung started responding in English so people don't take things out of context and taekook moments started happening again.

You see 2019 was utter load of shit (pardon my language) because of Bighit and their horse's vision. Can you imagine two people who are not sitting together in award shows, not interacting in concerts so much, not meeting behind the scenes according to company are sharing hotel rooms (may 2019), their interactions became so natural, their content has increased, now they are hugging in GDA. If that seperation publicly was not fabricated, I don't know what is true anymore. They had to do that SOOP conversation to not take any blame on themselves.

That's why I don't really like the company and BangPD. Protecting Taekook I understand, protecting the company I also understand but butchering characters of real people to the point people misunderstand them I don't.

I am sorry what started as Suspicious moment turned into a rant. I was with them during this period and it did hurt like hell.

Thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who was around through all of that time! I was not, so I always find it interesting to hear from people who were.

I especially want to emphasize this part of what you said because it really seems this way to me too:

If that seperation publicly was not fabricated, I don't know what is true anymore. They had to do that SOOP conversation to not take any blame on themselves.

I feel like the separation itself is obvious if you watch Big Hit content critically and watch non-BH content at all. I could see maybe believing they were genuinely less close for a few years if there wasn’t so much footage of them being extremely close in non-official content. I could see maybe buying the ITS conversation if I had been taking it for granted that they were less close.

But after noticing all the discrepancies between official and non-official content, paying attention to all those little details, that narrative -- the one that huge factions of this fandom believe -- simply doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t fit the facts if I look at all of them together.

Personally, though, I have a hard time making blanket statements about the morality of how the situation was handled. I certainly think that it could have been handled better, and obviously the whole idea of needing to hide because of bigoted social norms is incredibly messed up, but with the exception of physically separating Taehyung and Jungkook from each other with the double standards that they did, it’s just too hard to know who was making which decisions.

As far as the character assassination (which is probably an extreme way of putting it, but hopefully you know what I mean) of Taehyung and Jungkook as a result of all of this, I honestly kind of doubt anyone foresaw the way all of that would play out, and it’s clear that there are always going to be people who hate on the members or have understandings of the members that don’t align with those of other fans. That’s inevitable. So even though it’s frustrating that a lot of people dismiss their bond, whether they even care about shipping or any of that side of things, it’s hard to lay the blame for that in any one particular place.

#ask #taekook

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