#too bad there are lots of interpretations about them that i couldn't figure out which is more accurate :< fuckin spaniards

[lixiektty]

꒰ঌ cupid's cams : yang jeongin ໒꒱ — prev ▸ next

word count: 5.4k (i just kept writing i am so sorry), warnings/kinks: dom camboy!jeongin, sub!reader, language, lingerie, lubed up jeongin (holy shit), male maturation, oral (m. receiving), face fucking, praise, a little degradation and objectification, they're both hella oblivious of the other's feelings, jeongin's lowkey a perv, mentions of sex but don't fuck... yet, pls feel free to let me know if i missed anything!!

author's note: apologies for this being a little late, i promise i'm gonna figure out a good writing/posting schedule so i'm not leaving you all thirsty for more. i'm trying and working on a lot right now, trust! for now, enjoy cupid's cam and march madness starting next month!!!!

taglist: @hyynee, @enha-cafe, @xiaoderrrr, @lethallyprotected

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cupid's cams masterlist

jeongin had intended to keep his real job a secret. after seeing you so helpless trying to find a well-paying job, he couldn't resist and felt like he really needed to help.

you guys sat on the couch, legs draped over his lap—not that he minded much anyways, he enjoyed the comfort. you were scrolling through your for you page, giggling and turning your phone every few scrolls to show jeongin the tiktoks you came across.

he loved your smile. it kind of ruined him that he started to feel a way about you this past year, you were his thoughts when streaming—wishing he were speaking to you, and when doing his more explicit streams he'd think of you as well. something he regretted, but honestly just couldn't stop doing. you were in his head constantly.

"y/n," he called.

you hum in response, but your eyes don't leave your phone. he taps your calf that finally gets your attention.

"put your phone down, i need to talk to you," jeongin says. he sounded serious, so you did as told and sat up straight and taking your legs off of him to sit criss-cross. "what's up?"

"i... fuck," he curses, not knowing how to even start, "i have a job that i think could really help you, but i need your trust."

"of course, you can trust me jeongin," you say, smiling his direction, "but, tell me now. you're freaking me the hell out."

jeongin chuckled and leaned forward a bit, "okay, okay. there's a site where you can stream for people and get paid for talking to them and do things they ask."

you nod slowly. you didn't know where this was about to go.

"it can... lead to other things, and those other things really bring in the cash," he announces, which catches your interest though, what other things? "i don't get all my cash from the cafe. i do these streams near a every other day basis."

your mind began to really think of any of the conclusions to the 'other things' jeongin was talking about, and your mind only went to one thing. "you're.."

"i jerk off for thousands to see and get paid," he interpreted before you could've even asked the same thing he had just said, "now you don't have to, but if you're looking for a good paycheck you can help me out with my upcoming stream and i'll split the tips."

"you want me to have sex with you... on camera?" you ask.

god just the thought of that. jeongin already had an amazing build, from everything you've seen, and to see him like that—bare for you. fuck. your stomach filled with slight flutters and it was hard to not shuffle a bit.

"not exactly," jeongin finally answered. this causing you to let out a sigh of relief, not only because being naked for everyone on the internet to see worried you a bit but you didn't know if you could fuck your best friend for the first time while everyone was watching either, "you don't have to be naked if you don't want to, something simple like sucking me off will do good. i'll get you a mask to cover your eyes."

it didn't sound too bad. it's money, a possible new job, jeongin, and a chance to really get closer to your best friend like you've thought about once before.

"okay," you let out, jeongin's head snapping your way with shock read on his face, "okay, i'll do it."

"seriously?" he asked.

"yeah, what could go wrong?" exactly.

jeongin nodded and fixed his posture, not sure how to move forward, "okay, cool. how about tomorrow? i like doing two or three streams a week and i've only done one."

tomorrow? so soon, too soon. things could change so quick within 24 hours. you weren't gonna lie— it began to freak you out a bit.

so when you were waiting in the hall, outside the door of jeongin's apartment the next day, you couldn't think straight. you stood there patiently but wondered what could be taking so long.

eventually, you heard the sound of the locks being turned, door opening and revealing the handsome face of your best friend. his smile shines, dimples clear as day. you knew you probably looked flustered, jeongin reading your expression oh so clearly.

"come on in, bestie," he says, moving to the side to give you enough room to walk in, "how you feeling?" jeongin asked after closing the door.

you couldn't express in words how much you were feeling. it was a mix of excitement, anxiety than ran through your veins, and... possible feelings? no. you had been in your head since you went home last night and couldn't stop letting your thoughts overwhelm you.

"i'm..." you start, trying to collect your thoughts but only being met with fear, "okay, honestly i'm freaking out."

jeongin farrowed his brows, walking over to the kitchen to grab you some water, "why so?" he asks.

"it's... a lot," you say.

"we don't have to, you still have time to back out... even though i brought you gifts~" he says in a singsong like tone, handing you a bottle of water with a sly smirk on his face as he walks into the hall towards his room.

you follow him hesitantly, stopping at the door when you saw a fancy bag from the boutique across town. did he really go all this way... for me?

"come, look," he said, motioning you over.

you could only wonder what else was in that bag besides the mask he promised you. it was bigger as if something else was in there, so what possibly could it be? you walked into his room, noticing the purple lights bouncing off the walls, large set up on the right side of his room.

"maybe seeing these will make you feel better," jeongin announces, waiting very patiently for you to look in the bag. he didn't care how much he spent on something, as long as it was for you.

you reach in with anticipation, feeling a box. you pull it out and take the ribbon of the bougee packaging. when you open it, an elegant, white, lacey mask sat in it.

"what do you think?" jeongin asked.

you looked up and smiled at him, "love it, thank you," you reply while pulling him into a hug, "why such a big bag for this small ass box though?" you ask once you're out of his embrace.

"look inside," he says.

you look at him questionably, sitting the box on the bed and reaching back inside only to find some more bundled up white lace. the fabric untwined the further it was taken from the bag.

lingere. he bought lingere.

"what's... this?" you ask. it was so obvious what it was, you knew this. but playing dumb was the only thing you could think of doing to really get this picture through your skull.

"wanna get paid somehow, don't you? how you work your mouth helps but showing at least a little something will get you a whole lot more," jeongin admits. he also just couldn't help himself when he saw it, matching your mask perfectly, knowing you'd look absolutely stunning.

when buying it, he could only think about fucking you in it— jerking off the minute he got into his car. he thanked you for suggesting tinted windows when he first got it. the thought of you was all he needed to get hard for the show, already uncomfortably hard in his pants while being in your presence.

"i'm only trusting you 'cause this is what you're good at... somehow," you said with a suspicious look on your face that made jeongin chuckle.

you examined the piece of lingerie, the lacy parts barely covering your boobs and stomach, small enough to fit you tight and show off your body just as jeongin wanted.

"now, if at any point you get uncomfortable or just not feeling it anymore, tap me three times okay?" jeongin asked, serious tone in his voice that caused your head to turn.

"okay," you nod.

"try it," he said, turning your body fully by your shoulder and moving closer until the gap between you two was almost closed.

jeongin brings your hand up to his chest, looking down at you and waiting for you to move. you were so caught in moment, the only you could do was look right back at him—sinking into his gaze. once you regain your consciousness, you lift your fingers one, two, three times to pat his chest gently.

"good," he says, smile playing along his face again, "now go get changed, 10 minutes 'til showtime."

he walks away from you, hand falling from his chest and causing you to miss the warmth of his body almost touching yours.

instead of standing there— like an idiot, you thought, you rush to the bathroom, stripping from your clothes entirely until you were left bare in his bathroom. he was right in the next room, you could tell him fuck the stream and beg for what you really wanted. he'd be freaked out though, he wouldn't want to fuck me.

the white fabric hugged your body, nipples so exposed you could see them hardening through. you didn't know what to think, you had never seen yourself like this... and maybe this would alter something within jeongin.

walking out with nothing but lingerie on with all goodies exposed, clothes in hand, it was almost embarrassing to you. jeongin's eyes met your figure the minute you walked back in, in a different set of clothing.

"woah, y/n you look... hot," he admits, scanning you from head to toe.

his gaze intimidated you a bit, sharp eyes looking at you hungrily.

"it's not too much?" you ask, walking closer towards him.

"it's more than i'd prefer," he shrugs, fingers grazing the strap on your shoulder.

you felt small standing in front of him, knees almost buckling under you, "what would you prefer me to wear instead?" you asked, shyly.

"nothing," jeongin replied, throwing his shirt off and smirking as he walked to his chair when he noticed your reaction to his insane structure that you were familiar with seeing before—now, seeing him like this sent a rush straight to your core.

you sat down on the bed, watching jeongin's focused face behind the monitor. he was in the middle of getting his stream set up, making sure to announce it on all his 2nd accounts.

"countdown is starting, you sure you're in all the way?" jeongin asked before the 15 second countdown ended.

"positive," you reassure, sending a thumbs up his way.

he smiles, nodding and sitting back while waiting for the stream to start. you couldn't think of anything else to look at but him, he was so admiring, charm basically shining right through him.

you hear a sound, signaling that the stream has started. jeongin greets them, thanking them for joining him tonight, "the strip goal is sent at 200 tonight, i know you guys could get there and... i have a surprise for you all later on in the show."

the surprise in question, being you. the more you thought about it the more you let yourself feel less stressed about it all, it was really just a paycheck. the only thing you worried about was how this would alter yours and jeongin's realationship. if it even would, you didn't know.

"for now just focus on me," jeongin says, his tone so seductive that your thighs squeeze shut.

jeongin leans over to grab a bottle, containing lube you assumed, pouring the liquid into his palm. he lubes his torso up as if he was apply lotion, both hands shiny and slick running down his body. he'd brush past his nipples every once in a while, groaning by instinct.

the tip jar sound went off, jeongin giggling when he reads a certain comment begging for him to pull his cock out already, "let's get to 200 and i'll show you what i know you guys want to see."

he communicated with his watchers so well, knew what to do to get the money, satisfy each viewer and himself all at once. really, in his mind, he was putting on this show for you. the colored lights shined off his body, illuminating him in such a way.

you really wanted to get up right now and say, "fuck it," forcing his pants down and stuffing your mouth. all your thoughts now were so lewd, especially compared to how you were thinking just seconds ago.

his hands slid down his torso gently, the sound of the lude being moved around clear to your ears. you felt almost as eager as his viewers, wanting him to hurry up and get on with it so you could see his cock that so desperately needed to be touched.

the sound of the tip jar went wild, jeongin turning it off due to the loud sound. he smirked seeing the overflowing tips he received, going way past his goal, "eager, are we?" he asked giggling, sex to my fucking ears, you thought.

jeongin stood up, and you knew once his pants were down you would no longer have to imagine what his pretty cock looks like. he slowly brought down his sweats, stopping when they were right under balls, tip red and leaking, veins protruding along the shaft.

your eyes were locked on his grip, fist full of his manhood, and with his face not being shown on the screen as he stood, he was looking at you as he slowly worked himself up. a soft groan left his pretty lips, eyes glued to your form, moving his fist up and down before sitting back down. he gets ahold of the lube again, applying one line against his shaft before putting the bottle down and once again fucking his fist.

you on the other hand, sat on the bed with an ache forming at the pit of your stomach. each movement forward would apply pressure to your clit, craving any type of friction whatsoever while this view was in front of you.

jeongin tried to pretend he wasn't as close as he really was, ready to cum the minute he laid eyes on you in the damn lingerie. the lewd sounds made by him caused you to clench your thighs tighter and tighter.

"ah— so fuckin' good," jeongin mumbled, eyes closed, adam's apple moving with each noise he let out. his pace in thrusts increased along with his beautiful moans that filled the atmosphere.

you couldn't help but grip at the bedsheets. you were so desperate at this point, it was fucking with your head. to have him fuck you relentlessly is all you could ever imagine now until it happened.

jeongin had never seemed the type to do something such as camming. you never thought about him sexually in the first place, he was always just too cute. even with all the girlfriends he's had, you couldn't imagine him actually fucking anybody.

this was a completely different side of jeongin that surprised you, in the best way possible. his free hand laid on his chest, nipple between his fingers— the veins in his hands were so damn noticable, his breath was speeding up, back arching, the way his bicep curved and moved with each friction that was made, the view was just too much you had to look away.

jeongin noticed, not happy with your response. he began making little 'mmhs' and 'ahhs' to grab your attention. you tried to ignore his doings, only pissing him off a bit more. your ears were hot, just as hot as your cheeks due to the embarrassment you were feeling at the moment.

"this cock's all for you," jeongin coos causing you to pull up your head, snapping it his direction. he was looking at the monitor but it felt like his words were meant for you. he turned his head, heavy lidded eyes looking at you and repeating, "all for you."

if he kept this up you were going to fall. hard. so hard that you didn't know if you'd be able to hide it for long. his hips rolled as he fucked his fist, moans only getting louder and higher with time.

"so fucking close," he whimpered.

your head spun like crazy. it was like he already had control over you when doing such little, not even touching you—yet you were a wet mess, freezing while sitting on this bed.

jeongin's brain was turning to mush, he knew soon he'd be able to cum in your mouth or at least on your face but for now, he'd have to wait for the sake of the stream—knowing he gains more when teases, and his followers knows he loves to tease.

"holy fuck—" jeongin arched his back off of his chair, edging himself before you could come on screen. his pretty lubed up cock fell against his stomach, the prettiest whimpers leaving his mouth, hands gripping onto the chair. who would've thought this is what your best friend was up to in his free time?

jeongin was busy catching his breath, looking over at you with a smirk. his attention was back to the chat, reading all their praises.

"i have a guest, for the first time ever. she's gonna help me out today," he announces, you took that as your cue and put on the eye mask.

your anxiety peeked once you were found on the screen. the chat exploded seeing you in the lingerie, body absolutely perfect to all the pervs watching. you wave slightly, too afraid to even say anything.

"don't be shy. they're nice," jeongin reassured.

you get on your knees, right beside the chair, "hi everyone," you say. everyone seemed to like you already.

jeongin seemed to notice your shaky voice though, and how your eyes looked everywhere but at him or the screen.

"this is her first time camming so she's a bit shy, but i know you'll do good angel," he says, petting your head softly and running his fingers through your hair.

jeongin turned until you were right between his legs, painfully hard cock before your eyes. all you could do was look up at jeongin and wait for his signal. his big hands create a makeshift ponytail. you were quick to grab ahold of his cock, sensitive to the touch and causing jeongin to gasp.

finally, you built up the courage to close your mouth around the head, slowly taking more of him in until your throat closed around him— gagging.

"careful angel, take your time," jeongin says, pulling your head up gently.

you two created a gentle rhythm, bobbing your head, every vein running along your tongue. it was really happening, your first time ever being intimate with your best friend and so many people were watching it happen. jeongin's pretty moans filled the room once again, sending more shocks throughout your body.

"they said you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth," jeongin comments, "does it make you feel better knowing they like you?" he asks.

you pull him out of your mouth and nod, giving him a soft smile, "yeah."

"good, you're doing so good." he praises. just another thing for you to imagine when thinking about fucking him.

you formed a ball of spit on your tongue before letting it drip onto his tip, a soft sigh leaving his mouth at the sight and feeling. your tongue laid flat against it, brushing along his slit every so often. jeongin could not take this anymore, he only wished he could fuck you right now and see how much of a mess you'd actually be.

the thought wouldn't leave his brain, to have you under him full of his cock, dumb and drooling, tears escaping your eyes. he'd do it if it wasn't for everyone watching and knowing what you agreed on beforehand. he just knew your cunt felt way better than how your mouth already felt.

you took him in so well, slowly but surely being able to take more of him without gagging. he was too big and he found it amusing seeing you struggle with a mouth full of dick.

"look at you," he says, corner of his lip curling up.

jeongin was already so god damn obsessed with you, your hot and wet mouth covering him and leaving him to imagine it was your pussy providing the pleasure to his cock instead.

"if only i was fucking you angel, god you have no idea how slutty and messy you'd look," jeongin groaned, chuckling slightly after.

his words effected you like no other, the lace covering you soaking more by the minute. the thought didn't leave your mind either, you just knew he'd be rough with you especially with the way he was handling your head right now— his dominance just escalating as you went on.

"fuck," jeongin cursed, along with some groans following. he couldn't resist when his hips began to buck up, tip hitting your throat with force.

you close your eyes, hands holding onto jeongin's thighs. at first, he thought you'd tap out but instead you allowed him to fuck your throat as fast and as hard as he wanted to. though, you felt a little ache in the back of your throat, you still somehow enjoyed how he was having his way with you.

your mask began to slip, ribbon loosening more with each forceful movement of jeongin's hand. he hadn't noticed since his head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. your hands were too busy gripping on his thighs for dear life to help yourself.

eventually he looked down, heart falling to his stomach when he saw your eyes slowly being exposed. he took his hands off and stopped all his actions to tighten the mask. he did it quick and with ease, anxious to continue mouthfucking you.

"pretty girl, you are doing so well," jeongin whispered, bending down to kiss your forehead then sat back, hand tangled in your hair once again.

his lips pressing against your forehead was something you wanted to feel everyday for the rest of your life, it was so comforting. hearing him say that you were doing a great job and give you a forehead kiss as a badge of honor really pulled at your heartstrings.

you whine around him, tears were daring to fall from your eyes and seep through the mask. this action sent vibrations to his cock, causing him to buck and whimper quietly. every time a simple curse or whimper fell from his lips it was impossible to not let out a muffled moan yourself, which only pushed jeongin further.

jeongin was losing it as he tried to contain himself. the urge to scream your name from the top of his lungs was killing him, his nickname for you being the only thing he was able to let out.

"fuck angel," he groans. his thrusts into your mouth began getting sloppy, the room was drowned in his beautiful noises.

at this point he had completly forgotten about the stream as he continued abusing your poor throat. he let out deep grunts, pulling your hair with an extremely tight grip to keep you in place.

"angel's just my pretty little fuck hole isn't she?" jeongin asked, knowing his question couldn't be answered by you but you both knew the answer to it.

it was so damn obvious, and you only wished he would continue to make you feel like just a mouth to fuck. you had felt some type of pride making him feel this way, already so fucked out from the feeling of your lips sucking him in.

"i'm so close, make me cum, make me cum angel," jeongin repeats, voice higher pitched as he grew closer to his high, "so good for me."

one of your hands fall from his thighs to cover his that sat in your hair. you could feel his skin covered in lube, no doubt parts of your hair were covered as well. you didn't care, you'd get as messy as you could if that meant jeongin was the cause.

you bobbed your head even with his dick partly down your throat. you did everything in your power to give him the best head he's ever got. jeongin was whining and loosing his grip on your hair. he twitched in your mouth, fucking up into it roughly, saying things that were incoherent.

jeongin's other hand rushed to grab yours that was still gripping onto his thigh. he held it tightly, face scrunching and basically drooling from the mouth at you being a spit stained mess.

"oh fuck!" he cried out, hips stutter up into your mouth, hot cum spill down your throat.

jeongin pulled up your head slowly, still cumming as he slid along your tongue. he tasted surprisingly better than anyone before, he sounded pretty too— his constant whimpers you wanted to hear more of each time he let one out. music to your ears.

you hummed in satisfaction, watching him ride out his high. he threw his head back against his head rest, eyes closed and looking so fucking hot. not like he wasn't already before, seeing him like this and knowing you were the cause of his fucked outness drove you insane.

you wanted to have him drilling inside you rapidly until you couldn't feel anything, numb to the touch. time could only tell, you weren't gonna give your hopes up. hoping this wouldn't be the last time you and jeongin would be doing something like this.

eventually, jeongin pulled your head all the way back until he fell from your mouth— waiting for you to swallow. your throat was so abused that swallowing caused you to wince.

the boy was breathing heavily, his grip falling from your hair. his body became less tense, stomach unclenching, beautiful body on display for everyone looking at him. honestly, you wish you had your phone to capture this exact moment, he was definitely one of the most gorgeous men you've met.

a smiled played along his face, eyes opening and looking down at you. he turned his head to the monitor, seeing all the tips that were given while he wasn't looking, so he could pay attention to you.

"thank you guys, i hope you enjoyed," jeongin says, breathlessly. he was rushing to get off the stream to be alone with you, thoughts of his after stream shower with you, bare wet body pressed against his.

god. he was in love. he already knew, but this just confirmed it fully and he wanted all his time in the world to be spent with you, spent kissing you, spent loving you, spent fucking you into bliss. he needed to fuck you tonight, it was driving him mad.

"i'll see you next week," he said, blowing a kiss and quickly ending the live.

he sat back once again with uneven breath, head dizzy and still trying come back to reality. he could even tell he was slurring his words slightly before he ended the live.

"oh my god, that was so good," jeongin says, panting and trying to regain his control.

you couldn't believe what had just happened, sitting back on your knees absolutely dumbfounded and taking your mask off gently. jeongin smiles at you, lifting his hips so he could pull up his pants. he sits up, turning everything that was on off and turning his attention back to you immediately.

"you did fucking amazing, come here," jeongin praised, leaning towards you and capturing your lips in a kiss.

it took you aback, considering not only was that your first kiss but he did it and could still taste himself on your tongue.

"made so much because of you, how did you like it?" he asked, wiping the tear that fell from the corner of your eye.

"it was.... not bad, actually," you said. doing this wouldn't be so bad if that meant you'd being doing it with your bestfriend.

"i told you. keep it up and i might just have to keep you around," jeongin says, which made your head spin at the fact he was actually considering that. he grabs a towel that's set aside and wipes his hands clean from lube, soon folding it and using the corner to clear up your face.

"we should shower and i'll get you a glass of salt water to gargle, wouldn't want you feeling gross in the morning," jeongin stood up, grabbing your arms to pull up your body.

his kindness was always part of his charm, no matter what he'd do anything to make sure you weren't hurt and had the support you needed. you were led to the bathroom where he sat you on the toilet and started a warm shower for you both. you knew this meant he was going to see you completely nude, not that the lingerie left much up to his imagination in the first place.

"come on baby, take this off," jeongin said softly, bending down to help, sliding it down your shoulders.

you couldn't catch feelings for him, no way. that would only mess things up, you thought. the two of you being bestfriends for so long and never once showing a bit of attraction for one another, what would a relationship do to that? what if things don't work out and it ruins your friendship after the fact.

"you okay?" jeongin asked, noticing the look of discomfort on your face.

you force a smile onto your face, nodding in response, "yeah, i'm fine. why do you ask?"

"you seem—i dunno, out of it," he says, he knew you better than anyone and if the stream was the reason for your discomfort he'd do what he could to make it up to you, "did that make you, yunno—"

"no, jeongin. i liked it," you reassure. his face lights up at your words, heart beating faster, especially when you said, "i did." making sure he heard correctly.

"well, okay then," jeongin stayed quiet until you both stepped foot into the shower, the warm water hitting your back.

the tension was so strong, you got weak in the knees from his touch— hands on your waist to push you until your hair soaked with water. jeongin found it difficult to not get hard again when you look like this, relaxed under the warm water that eased your muscles.

"feel good?" jeongin asked. you hum with eyes closed, looking more beautiful than ever, "turn around so i can wash your hair."

you do as told, turning your back towards him and waiting patiently to feel his hands in your hair once again. he strains the water from it, picking up the shampoo and squeezing it into his hands. his fingers ran along your scalp gently and massaging it as he goes.

everything about this felt so normal, to have him care for you like this really had you falling for him. you felt calm and comfortable as he washed your hair for you. with how rough he was being before with your head, the gentleness threw you for a loop. the dynamic was insanely attractive to you—gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets.

he finishes and takes the shower head off to rinse the bubbles of, fingers once again massaging their way through. he watched the water run down the arch of your back—ass right there for him to just grab. jeongin really could hide how hard he was, he stood as far back as he could but still close enough to clean you up so you wouldn't suddenly be met with a surprise poking at you.

"jeongin?" you call out, softly.

he had thought he'd been caught but he answered you anyways before assuming, "yes?"

you turn, facing him again. looking up into his eyes made butterflies flutter in your stomach. he didn't know what you were going to say, but he waited until you spoke again.

"i... like you," you admit. you felt stupid admitting this after sucking his dick and seeing how good he was at his job that you were hoping would become yours as well, "like a lot. i would love to help you with your future streams, if you're looking for a partner."

"if it's you, then i'm okay with it. i like you too," he replies.

it had taken so long for him to actually say that, anxiety running through his body each time he tried to have a serious conversation about his feelings with you.

"you do?" you ask, surprised.

"for some time now, yeah." jeongin says. he didn't talk about you being his thoughts when jacking off, but he no longer needed to do that anymore. you were his.

you both smile brightly at each other, jeongin hand cupping your cheek, bodies closing the gap and kissing each other deeply. it only got more and more heated, jeongin had to pull away and control himself. he closes his eyes, feeling embarrassed from what was about to come out of his mouth, "god i want to fuck you so bad right now."

"looks like it," you joke, looking down to see his hard cock poking at your stomach then meeting his gaze again, "so what's stopping you?"

jeongin shook his head, wearing a grin before he pressed you up against the cold tile, "fuck, what am i going to do with you angel?"

#stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #skz smut #skz imagines #jeongin smut #jeongin imagines #yang jeongin smut #yang jeongin imagines #kpop smut #kpop imagines #smut #imagine #imagines

[fizzfags]

EMIZEL/FIZZFANGS ANALYSIS

the long awaited. under the cut bc its really long and im fucking insane. (this does not necessarily focus on them as a romantic pairing, just the way they interact with each other. interpret it in whichever way is most compelling to you/what you see fit.)

EMIZEL:

the most notable thing about emizel is the fact that he is mainly motivated by status and climbing the social hierarchy in whatever situation he is currently in. in his human life, that was climbing the ranks within the demons. after he dies, he doesnt really understand the social hierarchy within vampire society, but he does understand that its very important to at least be in good standing.

(episode 2)

he has an inherent disrespect towards authority, also seen with his father, (which i will get to later) as seen with this interaction with arthur. he's insistent on meeting the important figures within vampire society in la, and prioritizes this over, say, learning how being a vampire actually works. in the same episode, he also tells arthur "It just seems like we have similar goals, you know? I clearly don't know what I'm doing in vampire society. You do. So I need to learn. And you did say you'd take responsibility for teaching me." keep in mind that this is only a week or so after he was turned. things become interesting when we see him interacting with said important figures.

(episode 4)

in a stark contrast to arthur, hes relatively polite and respectful. obviously, this is to build favor for himself within the community of important and respected figures. also notable, he is lying out of his fucking ass. this is probably my biggest piece of evidence against the people that genuinely believe that emizel is unintelligent, because he clearly knows what hes doing.

as stated in the tweet, he gets killed/injured makes stupid decisions so often because he's used to operating under the rules of the demons and normal human society, and he hasnt learned that consequences and rules are enforced much harsher in regards to vampires. his rash and impulsive personality/decision making skills/opposition to authority figures that he doesnt like just isnt compatible with vampire society, and this leads to him getting hurt (see any and all of his interactions with edward)

(episode 4)

so, we know he lies to get what he wants (status, respect, etc) and doesn't feel bad about it. now is time to address his upbringing. obviously, it was not great. he has a very negative relationship with his father, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to describe it as potentially abusive. "Listen, I've lived with this guy my whole life. He's always kind of been a piece of shit to me, so do what you want - I couldn't care any less. But, if you're making me choose between my wellbeing and his, then I'm always going to choose me. Besides, I can't do any of that mind shit anyways." (episode 2) we can most likely assume he joined the demons relatively young, as a way to escape or have a place to stay other than his dads house. this is also probably the source of his opposition to authority, especially those that act negatively towards him.

(episode 6)

episode 6 is very interesting. emizel risks his life to go back to the unseen one to ask a very specific question: "why did i get abandoned with my father, and why did shilo get to stay?" also noting that his most precious memory is one he had with the demons. when shilo asks about this question, he gets very defensive, because he knows that shilo would have an answer for him, but its not the answer he wants. if he tells them, they wont let him go back to the unseen one. of course, his question is left unanswered, and he asks it again in episode 10.

another very interesting thing happens in episode 10: he willingly gets rid of all memories of his father. he had a lot of other things he could have given up, but he specifically chose his father. with the definite negative impact his dad must have had on him, and how highly emizel prioritizes strength, it wouldnt be a stretch to say that he viewed the trauma of living with his father as a weakness, something to get rid of instead of grow and heal from. it would take time, a resource he isn't willing to share.

so, why is emizel so motivated towards power and status? with all this, the answer is pretty obvious: he wants to be able to build the life he was never able to have. power and status means money means opportunities means choices means a better life. he wants an escape from la, from his father, from everything he's had to deal with growing up. hes constantly reminding himself that its not fair, its not fair that shilo got to live that way, its not fair he was abandoned and stuck here. so he wants to make it fair for himself and the rest of his posse. those he considers his family. his jealousy motivates him.

so of course a wrench is thrown in everything when he loses that emotional connection to most of his friends (except theo. which i will get to) and finds himself just not caring anymore. the thing hes built his life around, spent years climbing the ranks - all for nothing. but what else can he do but continue on. find another distraction, find another goal.

THEO:

we don't know much about theos past other than he (supposedly) lives in the suburbs and has rich parents. (referenced in episode 8) though this is debatably canon, i think its interesting if it is because it brings up a lot of questions. most notably, why did he join the demons? the most obvious answer is that it's the same as emizel: his parents suck. though of course none of this is canon, so moving onto the things that are.

the first major event that happens to him is emizel being turned. he sees emizel less, "No shit, really? You know Emizel? How is he keeping up? He's kinda, been disappearin' every night." (episode 2) and we can assume emizel is a big part of his life. (which i will get to later) and then, thanks to shilo, a core aspect of his personality is stripped away. his entire life is essentially turned on his head, and he can feel something missing. so, as seen in episode 5, he turns to alcohol. its no surprise why, he's lost the sense of normality, his routine, everything he was used to. so he may as well do this. a lot of theos more interesting aspects only really show when hes interacting with emizel, so time to get to the fun part.

FIZZFANGS AS A WHOLE:

a very interesting thing is that emizel and theo act very differently when talking/interacting with each other than any other character. dialogue-wise, they both talk a lot faster and "messier" around one another, interrupting themselves and eachother to finish each others thoughts.

(episode 3)

just by their conversations, you can tell they're very close. this particular instance also has two other interesting things in it: theo asking what he can do to help emizel, and condi specifying that theo would be the only person emizel would tell about being a vampire. to address the first part, here is a complete list of all the times theo asks emizel what he should do/what he should do to help/etc (and this is an incomplete transcript, so ive probably missed a couple.)

"Alright, you lead the way man, let's do it." (ep 1)

"What's going on here? What do I do? What do you want me to do, man?" (ep 1)

"No man! I'm not leaving you, man! I can take him. I can still take him." (ep 1)

"I'm not leaving you, man!" (ep 1)

"Well, how can I help you with the non-soda related-?" (ep 3)

"Yeah! I mean... What should I do first?" (ep 3)

"So you just let me know whenever you need? I got you, bro." (ep 3)

"So, uh… Anything I can help with?" (ep 5)

"Don't worry, man. I got you. Where am I taking you?" (ep 5)

"So, um… how, c- how can I help you, man?" (ep 8)

this fucking crazy interaction:

(episode 3)

so it goes without saying that theo would do anything for emizel. and he does, he stays in the alley even after he gets hurt, he stays even after he watches emizel die. and when emizel crawls over to him, dazed and hungry for blood, he doesnt run. he only runs after emizel tells him to. another really important thing about their relationship is the fact that they're both a constant in each others lives.

(episode 8)

its kind of like they sort people into two boxes: "theo/emizel" and "everyone else." and the other will always be their highest priority. emizel drives to the other side of la just to see theo. after emizel dies in the club, his first instinct is to go find theo. theo is the only person that the unseen one appears as to him. in episode 8, the first step to his plan is finding theo.

(episode 6)

even if he hadn't just lot a good amount of emotional connection to the rest of his friends, i think he would still be a lot more urgent to go save him. and again, his first thought is to check if theo is there. if theo's okay, if he's safe.

(episode 5)

and theo does this too. he insists that emizel is his only friend, the only one he trusts. speaking of trust, that is the most crucial aspect to their relationship. they trust eachother a sickening amount, they regularly put their life in the others hands. when emizel drinks theos blood, its not "is he going to hurt me?" its "how can i make this the safest?" because theo trusts emizel not to hurt him, even after knowing he's killed ~12 people.

(episode 3)

and here, emizel trusts that theo loves him enough to be okay with this. note that arthur doesn't even bring up love, emizel is the first to. arthur only brings it up after emizel says that. because emizel knows that theo loves him and trusts him, emizel knows that theo would do anything for him.

(episode 9)

and emizel, notorious for not letting anyone close enough to hurt him, tells theo that if he wants to, not needs, wants, he can kill him. that theo can kill him, if he wants. because emizel doesn't fully trust himself alone, but he trusts himself when he's with theo.

and theo trusts emizel too. despite seeing what vampires can do in a frenzy, he trusts that emizel wouldn't hurt him, just as emizel trusts that theo would stop him before anything could ever happen. and emizel is a notorious liar, so we can assume that he doesn't/wouldn't lie to theo, which would explain why theo trusts him so much.

basically, they'll always be there for eachother and theo would do anything for emizel and emizel will always come back to theo in the end and they love eachother and despite everything they are together. theyre completely inseperable.

tl;dr: emizels main MOTIVATION is status, while the most IMPORTANT thing to him is theo

#jrwi #the suckening #emizel tucker #theo collins #fizzfangs

[kurooo-is-here]

Hear me out. Drayton and Kieran with a mute s/o?

(Tbh I feel like Drayton would think they’re just shy for the first couple of interactions until someone tells him though lol)

Okay, I'm not super knowledgable about deaf or mute folks. But here's my best shot at this ask, if I am incorrect about anything please let me know!

My interpretation of this is that reader is deaf and communicates through sign language, and they cannot speak at all.

Drayton and Kieran with a mute/deaf Reader

(Ignore the snom gif I couldn't think of anything specific to use for this lmao)

Drayton:

Yeah, he's totally clueless at first. Doesn't get why you're doing odd hand motions instead of talking, but he figures everyone has their quirks. It really bothers you that he won't acknowledge it, so you ask Lacey to tell him for you.

When Drayton hears it from Lacey, he feels really bad and is immediately apologetic. He rushes over to you and attempts to apologize, then realizes he doesn't understand sign language at all, so he stumbles on his words a lot.

Lacey facepalms watching all of this go down, so she reluctantly teaches Drayton some basic sign language so he can get his apology across to you. He's delighted to finally be able to talk to you properly-- he has a crush on you, after all.

The rest of the Elite Four soon complains that Drayton studies sign language better than he studies for any of his classes, but he is absolutely determined to make things right with you. Lacey says she's never seen him work that hard!

When he finally confesses to you, he does it right. He makes sure he corrects himself if he messes up a sign, accidentally blurts out a few words while signing-- but you can tell he really means it. It warms your heart to see him trying so hard for you, despite his initial ignorance on the subject.

Drayton notices you get bullied a lot because you're some regular student hanging out with the big leagues (the BBA Elite Four). He IMMEDIATELY shuts down anyone who has the balls to talk shit in front of you knowing you can't hear them. That kind of vile behavior will never be tolerated on his watch.

He texts you a lot. He still talks to you through sign when he sees you in person, but since he's usually busy doing League Club work (or just pretending to be busy), he texts you when he has a moment of free time. At one point you changed his contact name on your phone to "The Drayster", which made his entire WEEK. He would NOT shut up about it.

Don't let this man figure out swears and silly insults in sign language, he's gonna use them all the time now. One time Crispin asked what Drayton was laughing about and he just signed "bullshit" in response which immediately had you on the floor in tears of laughter while Crispin looked SO confused.

Kieran:

Luckily he's more perceptive and understanding than Drayton, so he picks up on your disability right away. Turns out he already knew a bit of sign language from teaching himself too.

When you ask him how he knew sign language already, he just shyly responds that he wanted to be prepared for the event that he needed to communicate with Ogerpon through it for some reason.

He teaches himself a LOT more sign language after meeting you. He really wants to go the extra mile for his new friend and possible crush so he studies and does his research diligently.

Kieran already understands if you're socially awkward, because he's full of anxiety himself. He totally gets it if you need to rely on him to be your translator at any point.

He really loves you and has no problems with your disability, even if he has to try a little harder for you. And after a while, communicating with you becomes easier, which makes you really happy!

After the events of Indigo Disk, he becomes much more protective of you. He wants to become stronger so he can protect you from anyone who tries to bully you or hurt you. His Hydrapple is gonna have a word or two with whichever idiot tries to disrespect your name in his presence.

Whenever he greets you, he tries not to catch you off guard from behind or something, since you can't exactly hear him coming. He really tries to respect your boundaries too, so if you feel uncomfortable with anything he does, he understands.

Slightly unrelated, but Kieran definitely flips people off a lot. He tries to be less pissed when he's around you, but on his own? He's saying "fuck you" to a LOT of people.

One time he tried explaining to a guy about your disability, and the guy had the nerve to do the 👉👌 sign at you as some kind of sick joke... the BBA Elite Four found that guy beaten into a bloody pulp on the ground later. Kieran was taking NO prisoners that day.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon drayton #pokemon kieran #pokemon drayton x reader #pokemon kieran x reader #reader is mute/deaf #drayton is such a boyfailure #but he tries his hardest god bless #kuro writes

[guardianofscrewingup]

So I've seen some people talk about how Belos ruined the human Realm for Hunter by possessing him and killing Flapjack and that's why he was ready to go back to the Demon Realm, but honestly I take a slightly different interpretation.

Having grown up in an abusive home that I managed to escape from the scene rang with extreme familiarity and felt like it was depicting what happens if you reach a turning point and and are able to find the strength to fight back against your abuser. (Which is great to see in kid's media, love it, it's so encouraging wrt to your *right* to think your abuser is jackass.)

I mean at the end of the day, Belos had already "ruined" the Demon Realm, too. It was the place where Hunter was abused and manipulated. People have pointed out in some meta that he talks about "that throne room" the way abuse victims talk about "that house" when talking about where they were abused. Because that throne room was where he emotionally abused and if the implications about physical abuse are right, it's where he was likely physically abused as well, because of the privacy there.

We see the throne room is the private place where Hunter is expected to drop to a knee and bow before him, and to stay mostly still even as Belos nearly strikes his face. It's the place where sometimes it's only Hunter and Belos, where he's free to hurt him all he wants, with words or blows.

That said, I do think the human world was very good for him and definitely a revelation. It was a place where the nearest adult, Camila, was kind and nurturing and willing to take on parenting a whole gaggle of kids, constantly trying to figure out what's best for them (hence the trying to figure out where to find apple blood and their diets, etc).

It was safe for him to take up soft, non-combat hobbies useless to being a Coven guard like sewing (gently taught to him by Camila, a kind adult) to pick up nerdy interests like cosplay and basically being a Trekkie, and to wear comfy sweaters (and crocs!) instead of things with utility or decorum.

The human world being a place without Belos made him feel safe enough to be a normal teen. Openly. Not in secret, talking to online friends on Penstagram on his Scroll where Belos couldn't see (a hugely accurate thing for a lot of abuse victims, online friends being a lifeline).

But unfortunately Belos was there, and alive, and as long as Belos is alive he's going to try to hurt Hunter, his home realm, Hunter's loved ones, and their loved ones.

After Flapjack dies the worst has happened. Belos came after him. Again. He literally controlled his body itself, and bored his way under his skin. Given he was consuming the flesh of animals and how he was back to full size after leaving Hunter, and Hunter was injured in the spots where he was goo, and needed to be healed, he possibly even dissolved and consumed some of his body.

And he killed his first friend - and lbr his best friend. With Hunter's own hands.

But the thing that makes it not just about something bad happening on Earth is that he still clearly loves parts of his home realm. There are things there he's always wanted that he still wants to have and tells Belos as such. Being a normal student at Hexside. Flyer derby with his friends. Learning about wild magic and Palismen-carving. He still calls it "home" probably in part for all the things there that he wanted to have growing up that Belos wouldn't let him. Things he's ready to fight for.

He loves things in both worlds, and Belos is clearly a threat in both worlds - a threat Hunter finally managed to resist. And even though Flapjack died, Hunter's still alive to fight because of his sacrifice.

He's ready to fight to make Belos pay for his deceit, abuse, and forced isolation; for trying to kill his world on the Day of Unity; for attacking his friends; and for his Palisman's murder.

It doesn't seem like he's leaving the human world because it's ruined, it comes off more like he's finally overcome his fear enough to go back to reclaim the world where he was abused because it's the home of his friends and because of all the good in it he always wanted to have. It's time to go home and make it safe enough to be home.

Yes, he looks exhausted, but he's the first one to go through after Belos, which is pretty fearless. It doesn't read like defeat, it reads like he's ready to walk through the portal and send an old man straight to hell.

#thanks to them #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #meta #cw: child abuse #spoilers #season 3 spoilers #s3e1 spoilers #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers

[eisforeidolon]

I feel fans should be able to interpret shows and characters any way they want but it really bothers me that shippers die on the hill of Dean is such a closeted bi sexual and Sam is the biggest heterosexual out there. I love these characters because they are extremely toxic and codependent on each other. The story would not be the same with out that. Why would anyone look to Supernatural to be their all time gay representation love story when it most obviously is not. it just blows my mind how out there Destiel shippers are and how much they truly hate this show and hate Dean without even realizing it. I need someone to figure out how we can get rid of them from this fandom...LOL

Yeah, IDGI either. Fandom is supposed to be about just having fun however you want with the building blocks from the canon + your imagination. It's not even the main point that they're hilariously bad at interpretation, project too hard onto the characters to even see them, can't understand context to save their lives, pointedly ignore a million things that directly contradict their agenda, and too much of their so-called proof is actually gross backwards stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity (neither of which they seem to understand very well at all). If they were just having fun with it, who the fuck cares? Sure, it's annoying, but a lot of fandom is annoying because it is so specifically tailored to things not everyone is gonna like. There are other canons with fans who are fine admitting they just like playing in the canon world but not the canon itself that much.

No, the problem is hellers are not content to just enjoy their non-canon interpretations in fandom. They feel entitled to flood any and every tag associated with the show, trying to demand their interpretations be considered indisputably canon fact because ... reasons ... and anyone who doesn't agree with them is A Bad Person because ... they say so. Their ship is the greatest love story (n)ever told, the best representation evar in media! It's the only important thing about SPN - and if they couldn't change the canon, they can change the fandom narrative! The fact there's actually no there there under their overblown thousands upon thousands of words of inept meta is why the very suggestion it's not canon, that someone doesn't see it as the greatest thing ever, that maybe Dean is actually just a heterosexual instead of putting on an elaborate performance of one or even that Sam might not be the straightest character ever written? Is taken as an attack upon their self-declared status as the real main audience. Which makes sense, because they never were. SPN was anything but subtle as to what its actual focal relationship was.

To some extent I get how they echo-chambered each other into believing their ship was/would be a thing in canon. If you just look at the size of the piles on piles of cherry-picked nonsense they accumulated over the years without actually engaging your brain to see how variously flimsy, out of context, or how many other more sensible interpretations there were for any of them? If you wanted to believe and surrounded yourself with others who did, too, and kept talking each other up, spending way more time doing that than watching the show? It's no wonder some of them ended up with really skewed expectations.

What I don't get is how they're still going this long after the show ended. SPN is over and there's no more 'Well, next season for sure!' to promise themselves. There are increasingly more stories out there now in a variety of media which are centering deliberately, openly LGBT+ characters and relationships they could invest in championing! Hell, just saying screw canon and burying themselves in writing their idea of "better" fanfic is a perfectly reasonable way to deal with disappointment, no matter how self-inflicted. Instead, they're still here making up elaborate conspiracies about how SPN was something other than what it blatantly obviously always was - because admitting they were wrong and the only thing they ever liked about it was their own OOC fanfic very, very loosely based off of it? Well, that's more than a bit embarrassing in light of how long they spent campaigning and how vehement they were about it totally being not just A Thing but The Most Important Thing Ever. So I don't know what would actually get them to move on, they clearly love being miserable and wrong and pretending to be martyrs over it far too much for me to comprehend.

#destihellers #fandom issues #faux social justice

[vanyzvat]

Anti x Reader

Chapter 1: No Strings Attached (You are here!)

Chapter 2: His Name

Chapter 3: Jacksepticeye

Chapter 4: Chase Brody

Jack STILL exists as a character in this fanfic, even though he is NOT canon anymore. This fanfic follows OLD lore.

Summary: Reader is a YouTuber who has lost everything (How and why is somewhat up for interpretation). As a result, they have lost their sense of fear entirely, and do not seem to care about consequences anymore.

Now, they spend their days making videos "debunking and exposing IRIS", taking advantage of their negative reputation.

They've been affected by ALTR 114209 for quite some time now, but due to their "condition", they seem to be holding up just fine.

After forming a sort of "bond" with ALTR 114209 itself, the supernatural being trusts them enough to get a bit more personal with them.

A lot of things are based off personal headcanons and my own interpretation of these characters! Please keep that in mind. I apologize in advance for any errors! Please let me know if there are any so I can fix them.

You were not meant to be alive today. Not according to whatever IRIS was saying, atleast. Overexposure to the "ALTR 114209" not only put you in danger, but those around you, too.

But you paid it no mind.

After all, you were someone who had already lost everything.

And while that may sound pessimistic to anyone who didn't know you, you didn't see it that way. It was a fact which you had accepted.

A lonely life was what you lived, but it was more fulfilling than being surrounded by people who only held you back.

As of now, you didn't care about your fate.

You lived your life peacefully, content with whatever route it took. If something "bad" happened, you just rolled with it, and in return, nothing seemed to ever bother you.

Worrying about the outcomes, the consequences of your actions, the future... It was all nothing but a headache to you.

That made him curious.

And just like that, you became a target to him.

"Him", who you only called as such due to his appearance.

Clearly, he was no ordinary human. He probably wasn't human at all.

He was able to warp reality itself to his will. To him, this world was nothing more than a game of puppets, and he was the puppet master.

Still, you saw some resemblance- Signs of humanity within him.

But you didn't even know if he had a proper name yet...

He treated you like all the other ones at first. Just another puppet of his, made to entertain him after he broke his last one.

That's what you assumed, anyway.

But you didn't react- Not in the way he wanted you to.

The whispers, the images he flashed in your eyes- They didn't scare you. You had seen them time and time again.

Instead, they only slightly inconvenienced you when you were trying to do your everyday tasks...

To you, he came off as desperate.

To him, you were infuriating.

He seemed willing to go to every length to be satisfied, to finally get the reaction he wanted out of you, and you took it as a personal goal to not give him that.

You were thankful to not have a job that required you to actually leave your home, otherwise, the task of having to constantly explain your "condition" to everyone you come across would get annoying.

You figured that those living near you were most likely affected by ALTR 114209 too, but... You honestly couldn't care less.

You didn't know them, and they didn't know you. It's their problem, not yours. You've stopped feeling remorse over your "selfish decisions" and thinking, and maybe that was why you were truly free.

...The more you talked to him, the closer the two of you seemed to become.

That didn't mean it didn't take any effort, though. It took you many tries to finally get him to even respond to you.

After hearing him whisper unimportant nonsense in your ears and catching glimpses of him at the corner of your eyes for so long, you decided to try to approach him.

And you did, with all the friendliness you had within you, in hopes of getting something in return.

At first, he would stand completely still, unmoving until he faded into obscurity.

After that, he would only eye you up and down, then tilt his head to the side, almost out of intrigue.

And after that, he would violently snap his neck while giving you the widest of smiles.

To you, that just proved his desperation.

Was he really so lonely, that he would do so much for one person? It was kind of... Humiliating.

That reaction from you was definitely not what he was hoping to achieve with that. Weirdly enough, you could even go as far as to say you found his attempts endearing.

Bold of him to assume something wasn't already wrong with you, when nothing he was doing worked. You weren't normal, you were a "weird little freak" as he would put it.

...He had considered giving up on you multiple times. You gave little to no reactions, you almost instantly moved on from anything he threw at you, and you even tried communicating with him.

Who does that?

You were just a waste of his time.

But when he tried to give up on you, he... Found himself unable to. He'd grown attached to you.

And as much as he hated himself for that, he thought of an alternative solution. He gave up on trying to "put his strings on you", but he didn't give up on you entirely.

You had become his "safe space", in a way.

You had given him a place where he could go to whenever he needed to hide, and whenever he felt like being treated like a guest.

A puppet master does need to rest his hands if he wants to control his puppets properly, that was his excuse.

...Back to you.

Today, you were sitting in your work desk, surrounded by your monitors. Your editing program was open on your main screen, with you being busy cutting up some footage for your next upload.

Your channel was a controversial one, and rightfully so. You've made multiple videos on IRIS, and why they are "not to be trusted".

You were a bit biased, considering your one and only friend was the one thing they were trying to get rid of.

It was kind of surprising they hadn't sent people to kidnap you in your sleep yet...

Maybe they did try to, but were unsuccessful, for... Whatever reason.

Maybe it was because you were one of the few people who were smart enough to not install those WTCHR cameras within their homes.

You lifted the coffee mug off your desk and connected it to your lips, taking a long sip.

You were about to set it back down when suddenly, an odd image flashed brightly infront of you.

The image was clearly of an event you had experienced before, only now something was... Off.

Your vision was blurry, and you blinked frantically in an attempt to bring it back to how it was before.

You felt your head grow heavy, a horrible migraine taking over you...

That was all you needed to know that he was here, or just nearby.

You somehow forgot about your awful migraine in almost an instant, and were instead comforted by the thought of getting to talk to him again.

“Where are you?” You asked, trying to maintain yourself and your excitement.

In response, there were the faint sounds of laughter in the distance.

“I̵ am ͝he͝re,” He whispered right in your left ear.

You could feel the temperature of the room declining rapidly due to his presence...

“I͞ ām t̡herê,” He then whispered into your right ear.

You see two hands covering your vision. Despite knowing he was playful, that still managed catch you off-guard.

“I'͜m͝ ͝eve̢ryw͢h̸e̴r͜e͏.” He spoke once more, his voice now from behind you. He moved around so quickly, it was hard to keep up...

“Yes, yes, I know.” You took his hands off your face, and they fell back to his sides.

“You'̨ve bee̕n͜ w̡orking. Working sò, ̷s̛o ha͡rd... W̴h̶y ̴not͟ ̡take a ͜brȩa̕k to s͝pend ͘s̸o͏me ̸time ̨with m̵ę?”

You sighed...

Of course you favoured being with him over doing work, so you pushed your chair back with your legs, and sat up so you could take a look at him.

“And why should I do that?”

“Bec͟aús͝e I͜'͟m ͏t͏he o̴n̴l̀y ͢pe̢rso͜n in you͠r͟ ́l̀i͜fe̷.” He shot at you.

“You're not even a person.” You shot back, and that earned a laugh from him.

...You always found yourself trying to make him laugh, and wondered if he could tell. He most likely could.

“Yo̵ur ͡w̧o̡r̢d̢s ͡c̀ut̶ ̨d͡e̷ep!”

“N͞o͠w- L̛et̶'s̶ go ̢someẁh͜ere̛ ͟more... Com̨for͏tab͠l͜é, yeah?”

Before you could even say anything, you weren't inside your recording room anymore, but in the living room.

You still needed some time to get used to him doing that- Teleporting you around. Even so, you plopped down on your couch, and he sat besides you.

“Oh, I forgot to ask. Do you want anything?”

“No. ͜Ju̴st ̵yo͡u.̷”

“Ah... So, why have you decided to visit?”

He crossed his legs, then placed his hand on top of his knee, which you can see him digging his nails into.

“Í'̸m͢ ̕just̨ ̛a̴ bi̧t... L̕o̕ǹèly.”

“A̛n̷d͞ upsȩt.”

He gritted his teeth through those last few words, making him come off as way more condescending than he was probably intending...

Or maybe he did that on purpose, so he could somehow feel less like prey accepting its fate against a predator.

You couldn't help but roll your damn eyes. It was ridiculous for him to feel like he had to continuously act this way. It was like he was paranoid that eyes were on him at all times, and he would be completely ruined if he let his guard down.

Still- Being so honest was unusual of him, since he never really bothered talking about how he felt. It was always about his accomplishments, his doings, what he had been up to. He was always so proud and full of himself whenever he talked.

“Well, I need a break anyway, like you said. So I'll be available for a bit. What's wrong?”

There was silence.

You shot glances at him, noticing how he breathed slowly, as if he was contemplating something. He seemed stressed.

...And suddenly, you got a nosebleed.

Because of course you did.

You only noticed it had even happened after a drop of blood fell on your shirt.

“Jesus christ-”

As you quickly got up, you noticed the shocked expression on his face. Did he not mean to do that? You made a mental note while making a run for the bathroom.

After you managed to get your nosebleed to stop, you went back to your room to change into a new shirt before going back to him.

He was still waiting for you in the living room, having not moved an inch.

“Hey,”

You spoke, your voice sounding tired. You were tired.

He glanced up at you, then quickly glanced away again. He refused to lift his head to properly look at you. Was he ashamed about what just happened?

“Sòr͞r̴y.͞”

“No, it's okay. I was just a bit... I don't know- Surprised? I thought you gave people nosebleeds and whatnot on purpose.”

He chuckled.

“S͏ome͘t̶i͏me̢s̀.”

You sat down besides him again.

“...Let's try this one more time then.”

You went straight to the point, and his smile faded. He was the one who had told you something was up in the first place, why would he be trying to avoid it now?

“What's wrong?”

You asked, and he answered your question with a question of his own. A question you would've never expected to come from someone like him...

“Ha͟ve͟ ̶you e̕v̧e̡r͘... Be̷e͘n ͡be͟tr͏a̢y̴ed̛?”

#jacksepticegos #jse anti #jse fandom #jacksepticeye egos #jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #antisepticeye x reader #ego x reader #Anti is sympathetic in this #reader is kind of an asshole lol ngl #the LOOOORE!!!

[ot3]

I can roughly guess this answer but how do you think phoenix interpreted "chooses death"/what Edgeworth was thinking? I always thought he recognized it as a suicide note and didn't find out it wasn't for like... a couple months, maybe? + that's why he's foot-in-mouth levels of angry?

idk the second I examined the window in Edgeworth's office and ema told me how long the fall would be I sort of figured that was the vibe we were going for this case 🤔

i'm honestly not sure phoenix ever really believed edgeworth was Dead dead but the most important thing is that he believes The Edgeworth He Used To Know is functionally dead after that moment. i didn't grab the screenshot when i was transcript digging and i'm not going to go back for it because i should be winding down for bed soon. but he basically says something along the lines of 'the edgeworth i knew was dead' at some point during that case.

which is super great to me because i think its a really necessary step in their relationship... one of the big moments in turnabout goodbyes is when phoenix is like I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE REAL EDGEWORTH, because phoenix is a crazy person. it's like such a double edged sword because it's fundamentally this sweet, earnest thing that phoenix believes that deep down edgeworth is the same kind and brave person he was as a child. like that's the thing that saves edgeworth's life. but also it's just a really reductive and possessive way to view another person, so there really couldn't be any development for them until that was reckoned with

so that's where this stuff comes in. edgeworth Did die as far as phoenix is concerned. phoenix can't pretend like he Truly Understands The Real edgeworth anymore, and the person he cares about is mostly a stranger to him. and i think as much he does genuinely miss edgeworth and worry about him, obviously, a lot of that anger and backlash is coming from a place where he doesn't like being proved wrong. his worldview was centered around edgeworth being a certain kind of person, and that was vindicated first with the turnabout goodbyes trial and then with his behavior in rfta. but then edgeworth had to go and do something phoenix didn't see coming

phoenix obviously picks up that edgeworth is doing really badly and tries to reach out to him but i think that if he had even the slightest inkling of how bad things were, he would have done something more drastic to try and get through to edgeworth or intervene in some way. he's not one for half measures and he's more than willing to stick his nose in where it doesn't belong if he thinks it's for a worthwhile end. but he didn't. i think as much as he is mad at edgeworth for a dick move he is equally mad at himself for not seeing it coming when all of the clues were there, because he was too attached to what he thought edgeworth should be like to realize what kind of person he actually was.

and as a result, he lost what has been the guiding force for the last several years of his life, and his entire career - his relationship to edgeworth. so he's flying blind now. which is why JFA's big emotional climax is phoenix picking a new idea of what being a lawyer means to him. if that makes any sense. this is pretty rambling sorry.

#ace attorney

[merinathropp]

okay so I just saw the London production of Rebecca and BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS

- score sounded rich and full (orchestra must be huge!!!!) and singing was magnificent throughout

- the English lyrics swung between Really Solid and then abruptly Bad depending on the song, with some truly bizarre structural choices in places (e.g. 'doch sie hat mich verraten' became 'utterly betrayed me' which was awkward and spread over too many syllables it made me wince). BUT overall the bones of the translation are there, it just needs more time and work...

- Danny was the best thing in it, Kara Lane absolutely killed it, I can't wait to go back and see her again so I can analyse every second of her performance; she had to sell some really botched lyrics and did such a good job selling them with her performance; she was cold, defiant, unhinged, vengeful, and eventually utterly broken. obsessed 10/10 would die for her.

- dear God the set was an unprofessional disaster. IKEA meets cardboard walls meets local am dram. I have literally seen village pantos with better sets. Rebecca's room had a bed with plain purple sheets, a backdrop with abstract green swirls (?), and a desk. literally just send someone to the nearest charity shop and buy a couple of candlesticks and some tasseled cushions, for goodness sake, it'll cost you ten quid. I know they have a tight budget but they're going to get laughed off the West End with a set like this.

- the lighting made everything Worse. it was flat and washed out but somehow kept putting the faces in shadow so you couldn't see them??? the colours and depth of the European productions are SO distinct, why are we lighting everything like it's a rehearsal room ffs

- Ich was a darling, very sweet and vulnerable with the voice of an angel, I wanted to close my eyes multiple times just to listen to her songs. she full-on sobbed during the beach scene with Maxim.

- costumes were okay, a bit grungy??? I really miss Ich having some brighter colours after she gains confidence and comes into her own, BUT Danny looked bomb they gave her a beautifully tailored black dress and Kara Lane has a figure to die for so that was 👏👏👏

- Maxim was great, but he looked about 20 and wore his heart on his sleeve??? very charming and funny and flirty which is...not what I was expecting, and honestly not an interpretation that totally works for the story, but he gave a strong performance and absolutely attacked Kein Laecheln, it was very very powerful

- no staircase, no fire, but the cast worked their butts off to ACT the fire and honestly full respect they did a really good job. I felt their panic and terror so vividly. Danny didn't appear onstage until the last 5 seconds of the song, and we only saw her from behind as she started up the stairs...bizarre timing??? but maybe an honest mistake as it was a preview performance

- blocking was very different in places. I liked some of it (e.g. Danny dressing up Ich in nightgown, lipstick, and doing her hair during Rebecca II was intensely creepy but perfect) but other things were a bit odd (e.g. Maxim being super kissy and cutesy and physical with Ich in a way that felt more teenage boy that older English gentleman lol)

- there are LOTS of structural changes, new songs, and things that have been cut (like Danny's entrance...criminal actually) but I'll make a separate post about those

send me an ask if you want to know about anything in particular, happy to provide details!

#rebecca the musical #rebecca das musical #rebecca london #rebecca musical #musicals #merina rambles

[leavemetoexist]

I finished all 4 Studio Investigraves games and I have opinions. (Spoilers to all the games by the way but you already know that)

I played them all backwards from the most recent to least recent by complete accident hence why I shall be reviewing them from least recent to most recent. I'll be judging them based off gameplay, characters and story. Of course don't take this too seriously it's my general opinion and I wouldn't mind hearing other people's personal tier list about which game was their favourite. My interpretation of the characters can of course vary from others opinions as well so keep that in mind.

4. Eloquent Countenance

Gameplay: the gameplay in this one wasn't actually bad, I quite liked doing the different tasks however with that being said, I also got lost multiple times about what I was supposed to do (I think i'm to blame for this once honestly because it was spelled out for me). Overall I still liked it but again I had issues. I did however adore the mix of 3d modelling and 2d models.

Story: The story isn't bad, if anything it leaves room for so many things. The explanation to the end did confuse me though because I couldn't tell if Forcas was talking to the woman trapped in the body or if he was talking to the angel that had taken over the body. And also why did us the angel decide that we did want to give the body back to her? Again a lot of questions that I think can be expanded on if they ever to second game. (I think this is mostly me wanting a second game so badly lol)

Characters: Our character Lisa is alright, I have no grievances with her, she's funny and sarcastic as hell and honestly my favourite. Forcas on the other hand... I like his shenanigans, but there is only so much fourth wall breaking one can take before it isn't very special, I guess? The way he speaks is like how I would write an overpowered annoying know-it-all character when I was 13. So yea not my favourite. I do love their characters designs though, absolutely gorgeous in my opinion.

3. Cold Front

Gameplay: I had no problem with the gameplay, except maybe when I was running from the monster, that was the only hard part. This was a shorter game so there wasn't too much gameplay and coming down to the end I was honestly a little annoyed that we'd basically ceased gameplay and had started basically just started reading out the rest of the story. I wish there was a boss fight to the end, a little something something to really close it off would've been nice.

Story: It was heartwarming (ironic). I can not express it enough that I really love how well done the story is, both endings really got me. One was a happy ending technically with only Augustine living and it was so dark that he was happy to finally feel seen again once Winnie was dead. Winnie had no idea that he was breaking a lot of Augustine's boundaries but at the same time, these two just needed some communication and they were fine in the end which was perfectly okay with me. They both reflected and became better people together.

Characters: No notes, they were good. I loved the fucked up anxiety version of Augustine and Winnie, it really shows how anxiety is and how overthinking and keeping everything in can really harm a friendship.

2. Dead Plate

Gameplay: There is so much that needs to be talked about with the gameplay. First of all, our character Rody, does not have a side and back angle so that you can tell which way you're facing, which messed me up a lot when I tried to serve tables. When I first booted up the game it took me way too long to figure out the what to do in the tutorial (This one might be on me tbh so I won't be too mean to the game about it). The various customers did not make any facial expressions as to help indicate to the players their level of annoyance going from good-> annoyed-> angry-> leaving. I really wished they had that, even if it weren't a face at least some sounds would've been nice.

Story: I adored the story, it's fucked up, it's nice and it's overall really good. Genuinely no notes, it's cut and dry, nothing overally complicated and I loved it.

Characters: I loved the characters. Rody is so deeply in love with his girlfriend (Marieanna) and loses his sense of self. He literally does not know who he is without her and instead of listening to her and improving himself and becoming his own person, he makes himself think that if he just had enough money, that she would take him back. Vince on the other hand, woah that motherfucker is a little mad in the head isn't he? I was expecting your usual obsessive yandere esc character but no. He becomes not really obsessed but more like testing a theory. He has never tasted food and wants so desperately to make food where you can taste the love in it so when he found out about Rody whiles dating Marieanne, well he just had to put this theory to the taste test right? I also live for the theory of him wanting to express his love to Rody by feeding him the thing that he loved most (I think this theory is actually pretty solid tbh and I'm not sure if it's a theory or confirmed within the game. I played this so long ago that I've kind of forgotten).

1. Elevator Hitch

Gameplay: This one might be obvious to most people who follow me but Elevator Hitch is literally my absolute favourite. The gameplay itself was quite fun, I enjoyed the puzzles and tasks that had to be done and the uniqueness of each floor. I had one problem where I didn't realise you could look around the elevator, I wished there were some arrows to indicate you could do that but overall the gameplay was solid.

Story: The story is simple, simple in a fun complicated way. It certainly didn't answer why the building is the way it is but that was alright with me. I enjoyed especially the small glimpses at protag's life before he got stuck in the elevator. I loved the ending, the fact that he had no real choice but to go back was *chef's kiss* Sad ending for Protag but that's okay, solid story.

Characters: One of my favourite head cannons about this game is that coworker is actually pretending to be stupid about the situation that we the player are experiencing and I can be more than be convinced about that. Our main character definitely has shit going on, as saw in the end he needed that job and well the fourth floor with his parents. I loved the dialogue options and the dynamic going on between the two of them. They're both silly and share one brain cell and I adore them for that.

#studio investigrave #dead plate #cold front #eloquent countenance #elevator hitch #racheldrawsthis #again don't take this too seriously I just wanted an excuse to talk about these games because I really like them #and it's been on my mind for some time since I finished up the last game yesterday #i can not wait to see the games studio investigraves makes in the future #rachel if you read this please keep up the good work also i love your character designs #also to anyone who saw me upload the incomplete post #no you didn't :) #rambles #long post #edit: i'm realising i did not do these in proper order but that's okay I refuse to change it now

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

i’m actually curious to hear about what was gojo, shoko, and nanami immediate reaction to finding out about the abuse megumi suffered? like the way you said that nanami was the one who found out and how it played a role in nanami wanting out of jujustu society? i can only imagine how megumi must’ve felt like he’s the type to suffer in silence and assume the worst, so i just know he thought gojo and the others knew about the abuse but thought that it was something he was suppose to shoulder for tsumiki’s sake.

it also make me curious on your interpretation of gojo and megumi dynamic bc when megumi first woke up he was lowkey surprised that gojo was with him instead of doing gojo things, like it just make me think that despite megumi looking up to gojo as a parental figure and gojo taking in megumi as his own, megumi must think that he’s not a top priority in gojo’s life especially when the abuse he suffered at the zenins come into play.

Immediate reaction:

Nanami saw Haibara.

In my mind, Haibara died saving Nanami's life. Nanami would have died; Haibara died in his place. Nanami had survivor's guilt out his ears when they first adopted megumi and tsumiki, and a part of him always thought it should have been the other way around. Haibara was the one that had so much passion for life. He had a sister and a family and people he was close to. Nanami was always just... less, in his own mind. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

What happened to Haibara haunted him. He swore he would never again be so useless as he was when that curse ripped off the lower half of his best friend's body.

Adopting Megumi and Tsumiki actually made him feel like they were doing something good, for once? Gojo had all these pie in the sky ideals for what they would make this society into that a part of Nanami couldn't help but buy into. They kept the kids together. They were all genuinely happy, for a time.

The Zenin just shattered that reality. It had been cracking all throughout their custody, and it broke irreparably when the Zenin pushed too far and didn't even seem to think they'd face consequences for that. This isn't the first time they put him in a hospital bed, is the thing, and it was sort of a slap in the face for them all to realize that they had let it get so bad that the zenin genuinely thought they could do that to their kid without fearing reprisal.

Nanami saw Haibara, experienced some of the most potent guilt and anger he's ever felt in his life, and rushed Megumi to Shoko for treatment.

Then, he went back to the Zenin compound to kick Zenin Naoya's ass.

In my mind, Nanami and Naoya has a sort of ugly dynamic in school. Nanami and Naoya were in the same class year, so they were often paired against each other in goodwill events and the like, but Gojo was the one that Naoya wanted to rival.

Naoya was always after Nanami as a student. He has an insecurity complex the size of the international space station and constantly wanted to prove he was better by stepping on Nanami. He'd tried to kick Nanami's teeth in pretty much every time they had seen each other, and if Nanami was being honest? Naoya won almost all their fights.

But a lot of jujutsu sorcery is about mindset, and Nanami had the mindset of ripping out Zenin naoya's spine. He got into a brutal, bloody, neck-and-neck, good old fashioned semipublic brawl with Naoya in the middle of the Zenin compound, which is around the time that Gojo showed up.

And Gojo's reaction is what Maki remembers: the ground shook with his anger. And he took Megumi away forever.

But first, to wrap up Nanami.

Nanami really snapped when they were all in megumi's hospital room and Yaga was trying to figure out how the hell to fix this and floated the idea of a binding vow or something regulating Megumi's treatment. He broke down, started screaming at Yaga that Yaga and the higher ups were going to kill them, they were going to kill all of them. And just. refused to go on. He couldn't do it anymore. Not if it was just going to end like haibara.

He told Gojo he was taking visitation with Megumi and Tsumiki. They'd have a set schedule where they'd go stay with him. It would be reliable. It would be a place where they could go and not have to worry about the jujutsu world. They needed stability and safety, and Nanami wasn't about to walk away from them.

He also told Gojo he wanted their passports. And it was pretty strongly implied that it was so he could take them and run if he had to. Gojo gave them to him, and they both politely pretended like that would have made a lick of difference if Nanami wanted to take them and Gojo wouldn't let him. There was no where in the world that Nanami could actually run to that wasn't at Gojo's allowance.

Shoko I'm actually gonna decline to answer for right now. She had her own issues going on that we're gonna get into with more detail in the next few chapters that heavily contextualize what her response was.

What happened to Megumi was honestly was the real turning point for Gojo. He was over halfway there with Riko and Geto and Haibara, but Megumi set him on the road to no return.

He never forgave himself for letting the Zenin alone with Megumi, and he never forgave Yaga and the higher ups, either.

I really do want to emphasize that Yaga cares, but he approaches every issue with with a fundamental distinction from Gojo's--and he sort of had to, at the beginning. He didn't have to later, but he never really acted that fact.

Gojo has all the leverage in the world, is the thing. He's got power and money and influence. He was born irreplaceable. Yaga's got some very very limited leverage. He's extremely powerful even if he's nowhere near Gojo's league, he's got a useful technique, and he's good at playing the political game. That's it, and almost all of it is replaceable. Gojo can butt heads with the higher ups all he wants and be fine, but Yaga will be shown the door if he makes too much noise.

When Gojo first brought Megumi home, he had never gone up against the higher ups before. Not really. He thought he did with Riko, but the point was moot by the time the higher ups even found out about it. He hadn't figured out just how to push and how far he could go. He relied on the help of the only adult he trusted, Yaga, and Yaga taught him to play the game the same way Yaga had to play it his entire life.

Except Gojo never had to play the game. It was pointless from the start. Which means his kid spent a long time getting abused for absolutely no benefit, on Yaga's recommendation, to pander to some assholes who were never going to play nice back.

Megumi set him on the path to his Absolutely No Compromising policy with the higher ups and the rest of the society. He taught him that these aren't rational people who are working for a common good--they're fucking crazy and they will hurt kids to satisfy their whims. Every single time that he dug his heels in about a student with the higher ups, he had the memory of what happened to Megumi when he didn't dig his heels in hanging over him.

And a big part of that was that he doesn't know if he could handle feeling a second time how he felt when he found out what was happening to Megumi behind his back. He had built up this idea in his mind about how he would make a better world for the next generation, that he wouldn't be like the higher ups slowly killing geto by sending him on mission after mission... and then he got the very first member of his next generation and slowly killed him sending him off to people who were hurting him. It was gojo making the drop offs and the pick ups and not goddamn seeing it for all his six eyes.

He almost killed the entire Zenin clan, honestly. Wiped them all out. He's always sort of struggled with homicidal thoughts and low empathy, and just fucking. slaughtering the zenin felt like a pretty good idea right then.

But he didn't want to be like the great sorcerers of old, who were madmen on a power trip killing everyone who made them angry. and he knew if the slaughtered an entire clan of sorcerers, he'd become that. he couldn't come back. so he took megumi away forever, and he promised him it would never happen again, and he tried to do it right every time after, and it has never, ever felt like enough.

Megumi as a kid was just very young and not clued into the dynamics of everything and in a terrible fucking situation that he couldn't get out of. His family thought he was acting out and getting upset because he didn't want to stay with the Zenin, he wanted to stay with his sister instead. And they were coming off the sorcerer equivalent of the cold war just getting this compromise. They thought this was all about Megumi wanting to stay with his sister, and this was the deal they brokered to keep him with his sister. The zenin wanted tsumiki gone from his life completely. they wanted full custody of him. This, staying with them with a few days a month, this was what let him stay with Tsumiki the rest of the time. It was the best deal they got.

Of course, Megumi didn't understand what was really happening. And he thought that Gojo, who knew everything, knew this too, especially because Megumi had told him (as best he knew how). He thought he had to shut up and take it with the abuse or he couldn't stay with Tsumiki anymore. So he shut up and took it, and he's never really come back from it.

In my mind, Megumi walked into canon with a sort of mindset that he just would never be as powerful or big as someone like gojo. He didn't know he had special grade potential. He didn't think he could win special grade fights. he didn't know how to put in his best. and a big part of that was because he hadn't gotten past who he was as a little boy, who had to shut up and let himself be hurt. The Zenin were the ones who taught him how to feel small and helpless and frustrated with that fact. He had so much practice being hurt that he couldn't imagine a world where he was too strong to not be hurt anymore.

Megumi and Gojo's relationship:

I actually think Megumi's surprise came more from his conviction that Gojo would intervene if he had known the truth of what the Zenin had spent the past week doing to him.

Like, your reading is the one that's most apparent from what Megumi said. It's absolutely the impression Gojo took from it. But megumi was very out of it when he was talking, and a lot of wires got crossed. it had a very different context in his head that he couldn't really express in the moment.

Megumi's consistently shown to be one of the most strategically minded characters in the show. He's great at assessing threats, figuring out techniques, and coming up with plans to beat the odds. He knows how to properly assess his risks and figure out how to stack the deck to give himself at least a shot.

And I think Megumi realized that he wasn't getting out of the Zenin compound alive a while ago. And a big part of that was because he knew from the start that he could not for a second rely on Gojo coming to get him.

It was just math. Megumi didn't have a way out on his own. He would need Gojo to come get him out. But Gojo was busy. If he wasn't busy, he would have found out already, somehow, and he would have already come to save him. The Zenin only managed this because Gojo had a war, and he was busy, and he'd be busy for weeks.

And Megumi did not have weeks.

It was a constant running calculation for him. At first, maybe he could make it through a few weeks. It would suck, sure. They'd beat the shit out of him, but it wouldn't be the first time. He'd be in terrible goddamn shape by the end of it all, but he'd survived the Zenin's abuse before, and he wasn't six years old anymore. He could make it until Gojo realized what had happened, and then he would come. Megumi was certain of it.

Then, they locked him in the room with curses for days. And he realized that he would be dead before Gojo's war finished.

Gojo wouldn't realize he was gone for weeks. And Megumi's estimates of his own survival quickly dropped from a few weeks to a week, to a few days, to a few hours.

Gojo would save him, if he knew, but Gojo was busy. He had a war. He wouldn't be there for weeks, and Megumi did not have weeks.

It sort of stuck in his brain? Gojo was busy. He didn't know that the Zenin were doing this to him. That's the only reason why he wouldn't come for megumi, and he was not going to find out in time. He wasn't coming, and Megumi was not going to die waiting to be saved by someone who was. not. coming. he had enough pride left for that at least.

Seeing Gojo in his hospital room broke the math for him. It just didn't compute. He was busy. He had a war. The Zenin could only do this to him because Gojo was busier than he had been in a decade, and he wouldn't be back until after the clock ran out for him. He was supposed to die before ever seeing Gojo again. So why the hell was Gojo standing above him? He was supposed to be busy.

#sea glass gardens

[chibivesicle]

Asks that I will never really answer. My apologies; life gets busy and I get distracted.

I'm dropping these here today, so I can clear out some of the asks from my inbox. Apologies for some of these going back to when Trigun Stampede was still airing. >_< If I don't have a clear and concise answer, I'll let things sit in the inbox but they occasionally do fall off my radar.

Uuummm sorry Anon, I meant to give this more of a response but as I got angrier at Stampede, I just couldn't bring myself to give you a well thought out reply. My overall vibes for the Christian themes that were missing in Stampede had to do how they kept a lot of the surface content, images/style/design from the original but with the sci-fi emphasis removed the weird esoteric Christian stuff and made it look that way. Vash was more willing to engage with others in the original manga/'98 anime based on what Rem taught him. Yet, we never get why he does what he does in Stampede. By changing Wolfwood from being a traveling preacher where Vash lambasts him with 'thou shall not kill' the nuance of his character's moral conflict is lost. He's a trained killer for a quasi-religious organization that might be using a Zia in a really not cool way. We also do not see him act in a self-sacrificing way, which he does from the get go in the original. The angelic body horror was gone, replaced by a sci-fi reading of plants and the concept of plant worship was missing in there as well. There is a lot of internal dialogue that many of the characters pose through the anime and manga and its just gone from Stampede and it revolves around forgiveness, violence, and justice.

For me, the complete re-interpretation of the world and loss of the moral conflict that all characters show hurt the Christian (and Buddhist) themes that underpinned the original. It really came down to how the characters acted and talked. There is no point to a gunslinger who is almost completely passive when one who is active but uses a non-lethal method based on principle. There is a chapter where Vash gets taunted by some enemy for how bad his target practice is until they determine he was that accurate at shooting someone but not killing them. The best way to summarize is that they took some of the aesthetics of the original and didn't follow through on how the characters acted. There is so much contemplation in the original and that is missing in the remake.

Let's just make this a list: 1.) Leo would actually have a real girlfriend. I already have issues with White, I think adding her in as a quasi-girlfriend was a disservice to Leo's character. 2.) Zapp would be white. Less of a manwhore perhaps? 3.) Chain would be cute as opposed to cold and distant. No drinking assholes under the table and vomiting in her bathroom later. See Meryl Stryfe.

4.) K.K. would have boobs, and somehow be more sexy than an awkward and doting mother. See Rem and Luida. 5.) Steven's scar would be smaller or missing to make him a real lady killer. Either they'd lean way too far into Steven's shady side or they'd clean it up completely. Like he'd wink at women as opposed to sleeping with them to get intel. Be Klaus #1 fan! But like all the time, making himself to work too much. His hangry side would either be missing or played up for laughs. 6.) Zed would be dropped because he's the non-human team member. What's the point of having him? 7.) Luciana Estevez would only appear in her super sexy doctor form not her silly clone or normal form.

8.) They would try to create lore and filler to explain things that you have to assume are just how things work. Or they would info dump as opposed to leaving it up to you to worry about things and figure it out from the context. 9.) The entire cast gets aged down, because having a bunch of 30+ cast members who don't have all their shit together is too embarrassing aka very realistic. e.g. K.K. has a house husband (not a good mother like Rem and Luida in Stampede), Steven will die single and alone, Daniel will die single and alone, Patrick carries a torch for Guinness but is single, Abrams is a walking disaster.

10.) Character designs which are super unique and fun, especially in the manga all get 'isekai treatment' were they look homogeneous. The whole point of the diversity of the cast is lost. Women are short and cute, men are tall and slender or tall and buff. No other options.

11.) They attempt to rationalize the 13 Kings and give deep meaning behind their behaviors. Which maybe we will get that someday, but part of the fun is how fucking chaotic they are.

12.) Hellsalem's Lot is an empty city. Somehow, the city lacks people on the streets and we don't get the rooftop betting scene between the giant stomping creature and super-sized Riel. Sex, drugs, gambling are minimized in their version.

13.) The entire Prosfair story line is cut because it is so fucking bizarre and awesome; they wouldn't understand the point of the entire game.

14.) The OST is bad.

#kekkai sensen #trigun anime #answered ask

[nerendus]

Signalis is finished! All of the endings have been brutally experienced! And oh my God! What the fuck!

I went into this game knowing it got a little weird, but I honestly thought it was going to be just your standard Anime Horror Weirdness. But of course, within the first twenty minutes of the game that is immediately discarded with that cutscene after picking up the King in Yellow and ending up in the bathroom at Sierpinski.

I love the nods it gives to so many classics. Silent Hill. King in Yellow. Stanley Kubrick. Isle of the Dead. Apparently also even Evangelion, but I never watched that. And probably so many more that I didn't catch. And I especially love that it isn't just your typical nods, but it actually incorporates it into the story and helps set the mood with the story being told in the way that it is.

The Memory and Promise endings are definitely the ones to make me cry the most, especially with witnessing them in that order. Elster collapsing to the ground when Ariane didn't remember her and instead went to sleep, not fulfilling the promise that she does fulfill in the second ending when Ariane does remember her. It hurts so much.

I can't imagine how it must feel for players who got the Leave ending first, because that one really truly felt like a bad ending. Yeah, sure, you're saving reality and the people within, but c'mon. See your girlfriend. Forget about everyone else.

And from what I've seen the effort that's gone in tracking how to get these endings are insane. The maths is way too much for me to ever understand. I can't even begin to figure out how people managed to unlock the Artifact ending. Literally what the hell. I love it. It somehow makes even less sense than the guides to Silent Hill's endings.

I'm having...a lot of trouble talking about the story itself and organising my thoughts into words. Perhaps with time as my interpretation of the story molds to be something more concrete, I'll have more to say. I'm definitely viewing the story from all angles all at once and trying to rationalise a way to bring them altogether—the trauma, politics, and love specifically.

But I doubt whatever I decide to view it as will ever be the case for long, since I believe Signalis, like many stories of its kind, is meant to be a very personal experience for the player, and that others are naturally going to lean towards different angles based on what grabs them the most. For me, definitely, it is the trauma Ariane has gone through and her seeming struggle with mental illness on top of her physical illness, whatever that may have been.

I really enjoyed this game! It was extremely beautiful. The art style just really grabs you and pulls you in. And I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about this game for quite awhile.

I literally cannot recommend this game enough. It's amazing. It's beautiful. If you can't play it yourself like I couldn't, I recommend Welonz's playthrough as she's very thorough with the lore and has a grasp on the asian languages used, which was significantly helpful in a lot of parts.

Okay. I'm going to go cry now. Goodbye.

#texts from the underbrush #signalis

[sectumsempraxz]

Hey so I saw your post about Dylan referring to himself as an entity and drawing spirals. Since youre a psycology student, i would love to hear your analysis of this. Also, if possible, could you do the same for Eric's writing? Thanks thats all

I was doing a lot of psychological analyzes of Jeffrey Dahmer and posting them here, but then I started attracting a lot of strange people, so I stopped...

But since a lot of people are asking for this, here we go 🙄

In Carl Jung's psychodynamic theory, spirals or mandalas are expressive artistic forms that can emerge during a psychotic episode when the patient's mind is trying to organize itself.

Here are many examples of art made by psychotic patients in a psychiatric hospital, they are from the book Images of the Unconscious by Nise da Silveira

(it doesn't mean that everybody who does drawings like this are psychotic, obviously it has artistic styles and things like that, but these paintings were made by patients in hospitals. Nise was a brazilian doctor, and Jung was from Switzerland, they notice that without any contact, their patients were drawing the same spirals figures. You can also see that these drawings are somewhat organized because the patients were receiving treatment. You can see from the geometric shapes that there is a meaning, it is the mind trying to organize itself).

Not only did Dylan draw a lot of spirals, but you can also see that his drawings are extremely disorganized and don't make any sense at all.

Furthermore, his writing is extremely confusing, it took me weeks to understand what he was talking about, (while I read Eric's diary in just one day and found it extremely boring)

Here is an example, you can see that love (heart), the road, this fifth dimension, the donward spiral is all mixed up, extremly disorganized.

It's very different from Eric's drawings, which despite the violent themes, you understand what's happening

Dylan's writing often does not follow a chronological order, nor does he talk about real events of his life, he constantly refers to himself as if he were an entity that lives in another dimension (the number 5 in the drawings represents this fifth dimension), in other words, he was unable to establish a connection with reality. Unlike Eric who proclaimed himself a god to irritate people, as a form of rebellion, Dylan really believed in this, in his mind, he literally lived in another dimension. And these spiritual themes regarding the ego itself ("I am an entity") are indicative of psychosis as well.

One interesting thing is that you can see that even the form of Dylan's writing is confusing. I'm not just talking about his bad handwriting, but he always wrote in the corner in a disorganized way, loose words without meaning. When he started his diary you can see that he was fine, but as time passed, his writing became more and more strange, he began to draw more and more these spiritual symbols, and his drawings became a great confusion.

I believe that his diary is a perfect example of a mind that deteriorated over time, but obviously this is just a supposition based on his diary. I also suppose that he wrote in moments of crisis, when he felt bad, sad, and needed to get these things out.

I know that a lot of people must interpret his diary in an artistic way, especially through his poems (and it still is!), but this is also an indication of a mind that was losing touch with reality

When he proclaimed himself the god of sadness, when he said that he had no friends, that he had no love, that no one would ever love him when he did have many friends who liked him, a functioning family that loved and accepted him, and still a promising future, since he was smart and was planning to go to college, all this god of sadness thing could be indicative of delusion too, he couldn't see how loved he actually was.

(there are cases of psychotic depression, it's very rare, but it does exist).

I know he was diagnosed with schizoaffective personality, which I agree with because often people with this diagnosis are also psychotic. But it really depends on how serious the case is, I have a friend who has this diagnosis and is also psychotic, but he has a good connection with reality and will graduate in psychology too.

Therefore, absolutely nothing about Dylan's supposed illness justifies what he did at Columbine. Eric himself was perfectly normal and also decided to do what he did.

#columbine #dylan klebold #eric harris #psychology #also i'm not a columbiner so please stay away #i just did because a lot of people wanted and so i can study too

[phoenixradiant]

For the recently created universe Ask game

🌌 Galaxy - Rant to me.

Alright! Two topics come to mind to rant on, but I think I'm gonna stick to talking about Cellic, and how desperate and broken I made him. I'm not going to talk about how I fixed him again either, because that would be way too long. It's essay-length as it is.

Cellic is introduced as a compassionate person. A hard man, yes, but a compassionate one. His entire life up until the story starts has been filled with self-sacrifice. First his family, then his friends, and now his kingdom and Alador as a whole have come to rely on his strength and goodwill. He was slaving away to provide for his brothers even as a cripple, because he couldn't bring himself to rely on nearby families who had also fallen on tough times. He helped Maiph get through the sudden loss of her parents, and helped Randar's father get back on his feet after his son's murder shocked him out of drunkenness. He's stubborn as anything, and sometimes a real pain to get along with, but in the words of his king, Falder Faldarin, he's "a good man, inasmuch as those two words can be reconciled." He doesn't think of himself as having problems, but everything good and bad about him can be summed up in his two greatest desires: To be strong enough to protect those he loves and bring justice to a broken world. His selflessness is not the issue, but the manner in which he goes about it. He blindly assumes that if he were just stronger, he could make everything all right. You'll see why this matters in a moment, but Cellic is ernest and devoted to a fault.

And because I needed a plot, I took everything away from him. Everything. He lost both his parents, a sister, and an older brother figure as backstory, yes, but then he joins the Deathguard. And he makes friends, friends who think like him, friends with honor like his and fervor like his, and he watches them die, and the ones who don't die, he watches scream and writhe and burn with a searing pain that never ends as their blood is drained and used for profane rituals, and he feels the same, and even once they escape, he watches them die on the inside. They are all dangerously close to believing the words whispered by their captors: "mankind are monsters, nothing is sacrosanct, nothing is whole." And while acting as the anchor for people back home, he also has to be his compatriots' hold on reality. He reminds them about the ideals they fought for, and he is, outwardly, everything they want to be. Stalwart, and violently whole, even through horror and pain. And then Illenfold. One of his friends is betrayed by her own flesh and blood, who raises an army to selfishly claim what is rightfully hers. And still, Cellic stands, a bastion of justice, and peace, even as he wages war and spills blood.

At this point, I think every character in Cellic's "supporting cast profiles" but one, King Faldarin, has their hope in Cellic. Farric and Lettic hope in his justice to make the world a better place and to keep them safe, and they hope in his job to make enough money to keep them afloat. Maiph hopes in his tenacity and strength, that she won't lose him forever like she's lost everyone else who loved her. Anesaru and Relpier hope in his hope, they need him to prove that men can be more than monsters, that there is real good in the world. Sizen hopes that he can keep Anesaru and Relpier sane (Sizen's Saru's bodyguard, so his entire purpose in life is just to keep her safe). Cellic has a lot riding on his shoulders, and to him, that's normal. To him, that's right, that's who he is. His parents, and his role model Randar, all told him that since he's more capable than others that he has a greater responsibility than others, which was correct and they themselves practiced, but he interpreted it to mean he had to bear the weight of the world. Being selfless is all well and good, but it won't be long until that weight comes crashing down around him. Because he does the unthinkable: he loses himself.

Cellic kills someone. Two people actually. He had plausible deniability, there was a case to be made that they were a threat to peace in Alador (according to the information he had been given), but he enjoyed it, and it sickens him. Up until that point, he'd killed, but he'd never really murdered anyone. He can't face himself, he rejects himself, and for two months he drops off the face of the earth. Part of that self-rejection is the destruction of everything he had connecting him to his old life, including a gemstone that allowed him to communicate with Maiph. When it breaks, so does hers, and she, Farric, and Lettic all fly off the rails in various different ways. They all think he's dead, and start unraveling almost immediately. When he doesn't come back from a mission, Anesaru and Relpier lose hope, and the actions they take out of desperation turn them into major antagonists. Sizen and Falder remain mostly sane, but they're worried about the way Alador is spinning out of control, which Queen Anesaru's mental state is not helping.

In the two months while all this is happening, Cellic just snaps. He starts killing people left and right, at first he tries to justify it by killing only criminals and soldiers of whoever his hallucinations decide is the "enemy" that day, but eventually he's murdering anyone he happens across while wandering out in the middle of nowhere. He's usually sane enough to know that the people he sees are often mere hallucinations, but he also does have the ability to see ghosts and the voice of an evil god in his head (picked up as a result of the torture and blood magic), so he's never entirely sure, so sometimes he kills people thinking they're illusory. He's definitely killed some people he knew were people though.

And finally, after plot happens, he's forced to confront the monster he's become, and he can't. He doesn't think that there is nothing sacrosanct, nothing whole, but he now knows that men are monsters, and he decides there's nothing worth living for, that continuing to live will only mean destroying everything he holds dear. The only problem is that his death would destroy the people he holds dear, and so, hopeless but unwilling to vanquish the hope of others, he survives without living, doing everything he can to keep those he loves from clinging to him so that when he's dragged into damnation they won't follow. And he spends Act II and part of Act III this way. I broke the guy, and I feel bad about it, I think because who he was before (though not to the extent as the person he will be after) is exactly the kind of person I would like to be. Who Cellic becomes is unquestionably the better man, but who he was before was so close to being that man, and in watching him fall so far in between the two, it almost feels like, as the author, I'm destroying a bit of my own soul. And painful though it may be, it's also glorious.

...

So that's my rant. It's... very long. You did ask, though, so I hope its length was to your liking!

#writeblr #writing #kelovir #epic fantasy #fantasy #cellic thricebrant #oc asks #writers #oc rambling #oc rant #universe ask game

[vsa-pieldepapel]

It's honestly amazing that two of your ideas, the theory on Susie's mom and Noelle's CONCERNING level of helplessness came to be, at the very least, heavily implied.

ever since the first time I found your posts about it I couldn't help but love it for how much sense it made! you understood the characters so well! and now that it was shown, at least by description, it also made me realize just how worrying Noelle's mental situation really is.

like, yes, there's what you've pointed out which is Noelle's helplessness and how her parents might've influenced her interest in danger. I mean c'mon, like- this part where she considers using apple shampoo so Susie bullies her instead of kris got me a little creeped out honestly, she intentionally wants to get in the way of danger like you theorized!

but there's also more information on her mom, too. for example, have you seen this part where Noelle explains how she accidentally unplugged her console? and she was so worried about her mom getting angry with her that she had to hold in her tears?

that was very painful, honestly. but it made me wonder how exactly did this affect her in your opinion, do you have any thoughts on this?

First of all thank you so much :) it means a lot to me that someone enjoys my interpretation of the characters so much! Im bad at responding to compliments just know this means a lot to me

Gonna bullet point my thoughts here since I dont know how to better organise them lol

I don’t know if it’s confirmed that Susies mom is the problem, but I think it’s very interesting she focuses on Toriel, who is such an archetypal mother figure and so loving/doting

I think Susie was just vomiting her feelings and would not be surprised if her thoughts about herself “leaked” in the things she says to deprécate others often

Im not surprised mama holiday appears to be super strict and even emotionally restrictive (found it very interesting that Noelle was discouraged to cry. Concerning!) considering the townspeople consider her uncharismatic and Rudy is worried about her being alone with Noelle, but

I found the wire/socket tidbits fascinating! That and her fearing ICE-E would kill her, specifically. Constant anxiety about death there. The wires appear to hint at an overprotective streak? I don’t think being so scared of just plugging stuff is all that natural, it feels like it was especially emphasised to her that she should not do it or she’d die. I wonder if this incident took place post-Dess and mama holiday became especially controlling in fear of losing her remaining child, which would be unsurprising

Noelles reluctance to the cyber city puzzles puts her learned helplessness in BLARING display. She’s at a point where she barely acts unless told exactly what to do by someone else. It hurrrtttsss

The sockets read to me like a combination of pareidolia and anxiety about being watched, which adds up with a controlling, hypervigilant, demanding mother

I want to know more about Noelle and kris so much, the piano fragment was so genuine and vulnerable and I feel fucked up by it still I am obsessed with it

#deltarune #noelle holiday #vsa answers #doodle

[bhilasar]

Some similarities between I'm Not Okay With This and Stranger Things

I'm not going to talk directly about ST, because just taking out INOWT will be enough for you guys to see the similarities. They have many themes in common. I just ask you to not restraint yourselves to "character A from INOWT is an equivalent to character B from ST" kind of interpretations. All the characters are way different from each other.

⚠️ INOWT spoilers ahead ⚠️

For the ones who don't know anything about it, INOWT is a Netflix series produced by Shawn Levy, and it's about Syd, an angsty teenage girl dealing with her teenage problems and finding out she's got telekinetic powers.

The show clearly uses Syd's powers as an allegory for her teenage problems, anger issues, repressed feelings and sexuality (she's a lesbian). Everytime she represses and internalizes her anger or suffering, her powers go out of control. She's trying to control them, but her life is a bit of a mess.

Syd has problems at home, she's got anxiety and depression, and she's is figuring out she have feelings for her girl best friend Dina, who is in a relationship with a stupid jock. Syd's also experimenting going out with Stan, a nerd and a weirdo who has always shown interest in her.

Finding out about her dad's past and secrets, and dealing with his death is also a big part of Syd's arc. The show likes to parallel a lot both of them, btw. He also had powers, and, imo, it gets implied he was closeted gay, too. He committed suicide a little before the events of the series, because he couldn't deal with his own super powers and his PTSD from serving the marine (and with his queerness, too, probably). He didn't tell anyone and suffered all alone.

In the last episode of the season, when Syd was getting dressed for the school dance, her mom shared a memory of when she started dating her dad. It was the school dance, and the guy who had invited her ditched her at the party. Then Syd's dad saw her all sad and alone, and asked her if she wanted to dance. Them both seemed happy, and started a relationship right after that.

Later, a similar situation happened with Syd and Stan at the school dance. However, the outcome was different. Stan was ditched by the girl he invited, and Syd went after him to be by his side in this bad moment. They had a heart to heart in which Stan made it clear that he really likes Syd, despite they were not together anymore.

Syd decided to be completely honest with him, saying she also likes him very much but not in that way. She also subtly admitted she likes her best friend Dina, and that she went to the party with her as friends (at that point, yes, but not for so long, lol). Stan and Syd got cool with each other, and Syd took him by the hand to the dancefloor. She danced with Dina later, and found out her beloved bestie was falling for her, too.

Syd won't meet the same fate of her dad, yay! - even though creepy things happened involving her powers in the last episode, lmao. It's a shame the series was canceled after the first season...

Other than that, we also have: Stan making Syd feel "a bit more normal", meanwhile Dina making Syd feel different; Stan stanning Syd's powers and calling her a superhero (it's their secret, and he's also the first person she comes out to); Dina having a boyfriend but developing feelings for Syd through the season; Syd and Stan being total losers and weirdos together; Stan not fitting masculinity standards that much, and being called a fag by his own father - he seems to be straight straight, tho. maybe bi? idk; etc.

Anyway. Shawn Levy, I see you! 👀

#byler #anti m*leven #sydina #platonic sydstan #ST x INOWT parallels #inowt #elmike