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miaisocool · 2 months

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Johanna

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary - Wanda was your best friend in college that you had feelings for... were your feelings reciprocated or not?

Warnings: Mentions of underage drinking, Angst, Fluff in a way?... YES THIS WILL HAVE A PART TWO!

Word count: 4k

Note: This is inspired by the song Johanna by suki waterhouse :) so i recommend listening to that song..

Oh, my Johanna, Johanna...

There you were at a party that wanda invited you to it was just a simple college party nothing else the atmosphere felt weird... and tense your vision was hazy including nothing but people passing out, strobe lights flashing over your face red solo cups plastered all over whoevers kitchen counter.. drinks that you didn't recognize the name of assuming it was something fancy. It made sense since it was apparently some rich kid who's dad owned a big company hosting the party you didn't even recognize anyone there except wanda, clint, tony and maybe natasha?...

You and natasha never got along well due to your past with her meaningless hookups that would end up with nobody in her bed the morning after. It was a on and off thing for a while with you catching feelings for her when she didn't want you and natasha catching feelings for you when you didn't want her it was a confusing thing between you both it was on and off like that for a while during your freshman year of college but, you guys talked it out and discussed how it was better for you both to just keep the relationship between you two EXTREMELY platonic she went on a rant of multiple pros and cons about it and how it would keep your friend group together you didn't care as much as she did but you went along with it. So did she.. she soon got used to it and distanced herself from you she was tired no matter whether or not the friendship included those hookups or if it was platonic she couldn't manage to be friends with you knowing she was gonna catch feelings again. Did she have a good reason to? maybe but those were hookups that you and her both strived off of everyone moved on from it except for her it was somewhat of a cold atmosphere between you and her for a while but its okay now, which you assumed since she gave you a quick smile at this party...

"come on.. go talk to her!" clint nudged your shoulder as he nodded to the direction wanda was in she looked so beautiful.. whenever you got a glance of her the signal of butterflies would turn in your stomach and it made you somewhat smile to yourself it was common for you to do that.. smiling at the thought of wanda or smiling whenever you had a interaction with her you couldn't help it who wouldn't fall for her? he was bothering you all night to go up to wanda and dance with her or at least have a conversation with her but he knew you were too afraid to "I think i just need to sit down.. i dont know clint.. this party is just.." it was true the party was overwhelming with the music pulsating off of the walls even when you stepped outside for some "fresh air" it was nothing but the music still blasting strobe lights were even set up outside to "keep the party going" which was doing nothing but making everyones face in the crowd unrecognizable and the strong scent of weed making the air thick, the scent of sweat and alcohol mingling with the aroma of wanda in your mind wasn't doing you justice she always smelt like cherries and wine in the best way possible the only scent that you could ever get drunk off of, the only scent that ever brought comfort to you when you didn't feel safe, the only-

"Y/n! im so glad you made it!!" Wanda had the biggest smile on her face as her slender fingers caressed your shoulder bringing you the sense of home and getting rid of the overstimulated feelings you had from the party. You were caught off guard with the sight of wanda suddenly coming up to you, you didn't expect it but yes you did how couldn't you? you guys were friends and she was known for being the sweetest to you, you sometimes wonder if thats what made you catch feelings for her. You hated it but no matter how much you did it wouldn't go away.

"wanda.. hey.." it took a while for you to regain your composure as you were drunk off of literally nothing except the thought of wanda in your system well to be honest she was the only thing in your mind that night "i couldn't find you" you lied, you saw her multiple times throughout the night even when clint brought your attention to her and tried to pressure you into talking to her. You avoided her, you felt guilty about it. how could you? wanda was basically your friend that you had feelings for just a friend that you had a really good connection with, the first person to ever show you what true love was like? or was it just fully platonic you always wondered what she thought about your friendship with her..

"i was looking for you!" she giggled her laugh was like the only noise that ever brought you happiness the noises from the party fading away and the soft rustle of the cup she was holding which had a bit of what you assumed was rum her eyes glistening from the backyard lights really making the emerald green remind you of the beautiful grass that you always dreamt about laying in with her and being far away from home you stood there taking in the moment of her presence until she spoke again "let me get a drink for you!" she said loudly but quietly in your ear it was hard to speak with speakers literally making the music blast in your eardrums the music was too loud for you to understand what she said but you made it out in your mind as you nodded she took your hand gently dragging you through the big crowd of people who were all over the place dancing, drinking, smoking or just passed out all over the atmosphere was still a mess but with the sight of wanda your mind was blurred from the chaos of the party the noise quickly faded as you took in wandas features from her dark brown reddish hair to the curves on her body your mind was in awe her presence was like a aura of light in darkness

A few seconds later as your back inside of the house wanda hands you a cup of a drink you couldn't even recognize but you knew it was alcohol you weren't used to liquor but you decided to put on a front for wanda as you chugged it and had sort of a face of grimace as you put the cup back down onto the counter "i know you don't drink" you turned your gaze back to wandas as you spoke

"i know.." it was true you didn't drink but you decided to act tough for her or maybe loosen up once in a while but she knew you.. she knew that you hated parties, hated smoking, hated the thought of being peer pressured, hated alcohol. anything that was sinful for you in general you despised, but this night wanda was your heaven sent angel

"just thought i would've gave it a try you know?" you murmured into her ear the music was still too loud to have a conversation with one of you yelling or whispering into the others ear "I guess its not my thing" wanda brought her hand up to your back as she slowly caressed it up and down making a wave of comfort wash over you.

"it doesn't have to be your thing" her eyes softened as she noticed your discomfortness " Y/n.. you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with" "you don't have to pretend with me you know?" you couldn't help but feel your cheeks warming up and blushing at the sound of your name coming out her mouth and the sentence that tugged at your heart strings heer words truly resonated within you, cutting through the noise of the party and the insecurities that had you held up throughout the party. A reassurance that you didn't have to adjust to anyone else's expectations to belong.

"honestly you could just be yourself and thats all i want" her pupils dilated as she looked into your eyes this caught you off guard "nothing else?" you smiled and teased wanda seeing how far you could push her back into her regular state she quickly hit your shoulder and rolled her eyes as she giggled.

A flashback to two months ago

You were invited to breakfast by wanda you weren't used to waking up as early as her. This restaurant spot was where you guys would meet up countless times to talk, study or just have a coffee you didn't like waking up early to meet up with wanda like this but you couldn't help but fiend for her presence so you pushed yourself cause it was wanda and you wanted her, you loved her, you desired her. The morning sun was glistening over your skin as you stared at your phone until wanda spoke up "The service is awfully slow today.." you weren't used to seeing wanda be impatient was she complaining too much? no she wasn't it's true the service was very slow it makes sense since it's summer there was many tourists visiting the city just for food, beaches, views and expenses it held. "I could've cooked my own food faster than this.." wanda muttered under her breath you weren't used to seeing cold attitude come from her even her voice was laced with venom but you quickly spoke up and decided to ignore it "i'm sure they're just busy.." you noticed she was biting the inside of her cheek wanda would always do this whenever she had something heavy on her mind or if she was just frustrated. It hurt you seeing her like this so you snapped her out of her thoughts "wanda our foods here" she quickly re adjusted herself straightening her posture in the seat as the server set her food down along with yours "Sorry for the wait, enjoy." the server smiled at you both as he walked away quickly attending other customers. Wanda just rolled her eyes leaving a awkward but comforting silence you weren't sure what to say to cut the tension in the air until wanda spoke up "So.. i have news" you noticed something was off her voice was a bit hesitant before speaking that wasn't normal either she was always so confident before she spoke.. you raised your eyebrow giving a signal to wanda to continue talking as you bit into your food "I've been seeing this guy.." your heart immediately stopped at the mention of a guy wanda is with, the oxygen in your lungs felt nonexistent, the butterflies in your stomach died, it felt like you were suffocating almost, your chest started to burn as you coughed on your food a bit as you tried to force a smile "That's great wanda" you spoke up trying to suppress the feelings of jealousy within you, you wanted to scream at her telling everything you ever felt for her what you loved about her and how much you longed for her but you knew you couldn't. wanda spoke up again silencing the ringing noise in your ears "We're still figuring things out you know?" "I just wanted you to be the first to know" she smiled at you how could you not love wanda? The room fell silent once again, the weight of Wanda's words heavy in the air. You glanced around the restaurant until you swallowed scrambled eggs and your feelings of jealousy "im happy for you" your voice was slightly trembled oh how you wished wanda wasn't so blind..

I was drinking hard, acting tough But it was just a crush, just a crush

There you were dancing with wanda you were at least two shots in not enough to be drunk but enough to start pouring out your heart to her of how you wanted to marry her, make her yours, or be hers? your body was starting to loosen up so was the lump in your throat with every secret you held you towards her you couldn't help but notice how beautiful wanda looked even with messy hair your mind would sometimes drift off wondering if that's what she would look like if you ever had the chance to wake up next to her. You couldn't help where your mind was drifting off to but it felt strange, your mouth started to open up as if it was a feeling of vomit the music made you deaf from any words that were about to come out your mouth you tried to protest it but soon your body gave up

"Wanda.." You said her name as if it was a prayer she kept dancing as she heard you speak up the lights looked so beautiful in her eyes as it glistened over her face making wanda a bit unrecognizable and making your vision hazy mixed with the alcohol you had...

You knew she didn't want you, You knew she was with vision, she belonged with vision, She didn't even think of you that way but here you were about to dump your feelings towards her the weight on your chest was starting to feel heavier.

As Wanda danced like a angel gracefully, her laughter ringing out like in your ears, you couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within your chest. She was so close, yet so far away, a distant star shining brightly in a sky you could never reach.

"Wanda" You repeated once again... You leaned into her waiting for her to send or give a sign of some assurance that she knew what you were trying to do or if your feelings were reciprocated she soon leaned in and brushed her lips against yours. Your heart started to pound quickly as if it was a ticking time bomb that was about to explode. The kiss was soft, tender she tasted like cherries, rum and wine with a hint of cinnamon you were testing the waters first until she deepened the kiss making it become more passionate with a trembling touch you cupped her face into your hand you could feel how warm her cheeks were getting and the smile forming on her face as you pulled back she pulled back into the kiss making her breath warm and sweet you could tell she wanted this too with the way she pushed her body against yours the longer the kiss continued you pulled back and started kissing onto her neck as she moaned into your ear all you wanted to do in that moment was melt into her arms but it soon came to a end.

The feeling of vomit was starting to get heavier on your chest the more you stared at her figure dancing in the strobing lights

"im gonna get another drink" Your voice trembled with emotion as she nodded and smiled give you assurance that she would be right there just dancing the night away knowing she'll never walk away from you. You wished you could stay there forever with her but you walked away quickly to the bathroom making your way through the crowd getting elbowed a few times and struggling to get out of some tight spaces

You immediately shut the door once you stepped in and looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was messy droplets of sweat were pouring down your face, watery eyes, pupils dilated. You looked completely out of it, you couldn’t tell what was real or fake, there was still adrenaline running throughout your veins from the sensation wanda had once placed on your lips and the melody she left ringing in your ear it was everything you ever wanted you soon closed your eyes turning on the sink splashing your face with water noticing the vivid image of wanda’s face and the lights you soon opened your eyes and smiled recollecting your thoughts of what just happened you were all happy and thought about how it was finally the right time to confess your feelings to wanda. You resented that vision was going to hold a spot in wanda’s heart even if you wanted to be in a relationship with her but you daydreamed about ways it could work out for the both of you.

Soon after you stopped smiling to yourself and daydreaming what you and wanda could be you soon stepped out the bathroom your eyes being greeted with the sight of clint coming up to you

“i’ve been looking for you everywhere!” He drunkenly swung his arm around you catching you off guard forcing you to regain your balance “Clint right now is not the best time…” You whispered into his ear trying to look for wanda in the crowd. It was hard to look for anyone in general even with the strobe lights flashing and fog in the air masking everyone, making it impossible to find her.

The air was choking up your throat as you tried to get a fresh breath of air from how terrible the party smelled but you had to adapt your senses to it even if it meant passing out all that mattered to you right now was getting to wanda. Your heart started to race the more you were scanning the crowd with desperation of finding wanda but you could barely recognize anyone… The feeling of clint trying to tug you back into his presence wasn’t helping you focus much either and the fact that he was yelling into your ear was just causing you more overstimulation. You bumped into a couple of people having to apologize profusely over and over your voice noticeably shaking with fear and emotion until….

You finally spotted wanda crossing out everyone in the crowd making the lights that were once flashing into your eyes causing a headache, you noticed she was dancing with a tall figure you really couldn’t make out who it was but you noticed it was some tall blond lanky man dancing and grinding against her they looked like two intertwined souls dancing with not a care in the world. You couldn’t help but feel a lump build up in your throat as you spotted the two having such a intimate dance, your throat got even tighter when you recognized it was vision the man who she would brag about all the time and how happy she was with him..

Was that why she was smiling at you all night? Was that why she didn't pull away from your kiss? Your mind drifted off to multiple scenarios maybe she was trying to get her mind off of vision. You knew he wasn't the perfect boyfriend for her well everyone had their reasonings but that's what you wanted to believe so you could swoop in and be with wanda because at the end of the day you believed that you were the one she belonged to. You remembered those nights you stayed up late just to hear her rambling about how many times she caught vision cheating on her you tried to convince her to break up with him not out of jealousy but out of how you wanted the best for her even if that meant not being with you. You didn't really have the right to be upset with her even if she was dancing with vision..

Feeling suffocated by the weight of unrequited love, you needed an escape – something to numb the ache in your chest and quiet everything that was going on in your head. So, without a second thought, you gave Clint a quick glance and pulled him into the kitchen, where all the drinks were stocked.. Your throat was tight and burning enough already, the alcohol was not going to suppress your feelings for her, it wasn't going to suppress the numbness you felt at the sight of wanda dancing with vision but you decided this is what you need to clear your head so you drank away

"Hey.. y/n lets slow down the drinks alright?" although clint was a bit drunk he still had a mind of his own. To be fair he was the only one out of the group who knew you best even since you didn't speak your feelings he could still tell what was wrong with you. You could notice that clint was very concerned and worried for you all you needed to do was to communicate with him so he could stop you for whatever disaster was about to happen.

"I'm fine."

You paused, your hand hovering over the bottle, the weight of Clint's words sinking in. In that moment, you realized that drowning your sorrows in alcohol wouldn't make the pain of seeing wanda with vision go away – it would only numb it temporarily. But either way you took a long chug of whichever alcohol you chose from the counter and how it left a sharp pain in your throat the same sharp pain wanda was leaving..

Clint watched you silently, his eyes filled with understanding and empathy. He knew all too well the pain you were having as he soon came to what made you this way the agony of watching someone he cares for slip through his fingers. "I just need a moment," you muttered, your words slurring slightly as the alcohol began to take effect. But even as you spoke, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at your insides, a constant reminder that wanda would never be yours and that her happily ever after would be with vision even in every other universe..

You were already soon too deep it had been a few minutes ever since you chugged multiple cups of alcohol and clint snatched the bottle from you although you tried to fight him and protest but you knew he wasn't doing any wrong so you soon gave up after.. You noticed a few looks coming from the crowd as you started to cause a scene while all clint was trying to do was diffuse the situation as he took the bottles and cups away from you.

Your body was starting to give up as you tried to lean against the counter for support even clint was trying to help you regain your composure your muscles were slacking and the lights started to turn into a hazy vision of a kaleidoscope, the weight of the alcohol and emotions bore down on you, the world around you began to blur and spin. With each passing moment, the room seemed to tilt on its axis, the sounds and colors melding together into a haze.

You tripped over your own foot as you tried to lean against the counter again but without warning you soon saw every overwhelming sense come to a halt as the last thing and all you could perceive were scurried footsteps and Wanda's voice, a distant echo calling out your name in panic and worry. The last sensation being the vibrations of her voice coming through and her hands reaching out to catch your weak body as you felt droplets from what you assumed were tears of concern coming from wanda.. In that moment, as darkness closed in around you, you couldn't help but not have a single thought but for now, all you could do was surrender to the embrace of unconsciousness and wandas arms wrapped around you as she tried to help you.. The voices of the crowd and clint and wanda and then vision were the finally the last thing.

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thesomebody · 2 years

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“The worst thing about caring about people is when you let them in there is the possibility they will be someone you are close with forever.

Or they could betray and hurt you in ways that you never thought of.

Your Dad raises you to look up to this person and wants you to be like them.

You can’t do that because if you do you’re letting your Dad tell you who you are.

Especially since the person that your Dad tells you to be like is the one that will betray in one of the worst ways possible.

I don’t want to be my Dad , Pete.

You are already a million times better than me. I want you to grow up and see the best in people still.

I know I don’t ever say this but I care about you , Kid.

Now let’s go tinker in the lab, yeah?” Tony jumped off the couch as if it was burning him.

“Sounds good, Mr Stark” Peter say, smiling goofily.

#iron dad #iron man #spider son #marvel #marvel mcu #tony stark #peter parker #spiderman #i am tired #sorry if this is a mess #just wanted to post this

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gingiesworld · 7 months

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Obsessions

Wanda Maximoff x Nerdy Rogers Fem Reader

Warnings: Angst. Mean Wanda. Internalised homophobia. Homophopia.

AN: I have decided this is going to have another part during the college years. I hope you guys enjoyed this and please feel free to let me know your thoughts as it is my first proper wanda x fem reader.

Taglist: @sytoran @ginnsbaker @gb12d @lifespectator

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

18+ MINORS DNI

Everyday was the same for Y/N after she was outed after someone had spread around that Y/N was spotted making out with Carol Danvers. Of course it was Wanda who had spotted the two, especially since she had an unhealthy obsession with Y/N.

Wherever Y/N was, Wanda's eyes followed her, watching her every move. Although she had help of the jocks. Jarvis and Tony were always there to push Y/N into her locker, knock her books from her hands, all the while Wanda watched with a smile on her face.

Although, when they had went too far by slashing one of the tires on her car. Y/N had lost it. Heading straight for the two, throwing punches here and there. Although she was scrawny, she had some power behind her that knocked Tony Stark on his ass.

Wanda watched the entire scene with her lip between her teeth, but she could have murdered her brother. Always the hero he was as he helped Y/N replace the wheel.

"Why did you help that freak?" Wanda askes him when he got in the car.

"Because she needed it." He told her sternly. "And tell your boyfriend and his brother to leave her alone." Wanda just scoffed as she shook her head no as he started the journey home.

"We're seniors Wanda." He scolded her. "Don't you think that this is all a little childish. Bullying Y/N just because of her sexuality."

"Just shut up." Wanda told him. "You do what you want in school and I'll do what I want. Just stay out of my way." Once they had returned home, Wanda exited the car and headed straight to her room, closing the door behind her.

As she heard the sound of another car, she instantly looked out of the window and watched as Y/N got out of her 67' Impala. Watching as Y/N headed inside, her bag on her shoulder.

"How was your day sweetie?" Peggy asked as Y/N entered the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

"Ok." She told her as she turned to her mom. "Are you doing Roast Beef?" She questioned as Peggy nodded with a smile.

"I know it's your's and your father's favourite and I just felt like cooking it." Peggy told her with a smile as she put the chopped vegetables in the pan on the stove. "So tell me, what happened today?" She questioned sternly as Y/N sighed.

"The usual and more." Y/N told her. "I have to get a new tire because the Starks decided to slaah my back left."

"Do you want me to talk to Howard or Maria?" She asked as Y/N just shook her head no.

"I." Before she could finish, the phone had started ringing. Peggy gave her an apologetic look before she answered it. Y/N watched as Peggy spoke to whoever it was, and she could see her mom getting worked up.

"You beat them up." She stated as she looked at Y/N with disappointment.

"They deserved it Mom." Y/N defended as Peggy sighed.

"You don't resort to violence!" She scolded as Y/N just scoffed.

"I worked hard on that car. Dad and I worked hard on that car and if he was here he would be on my side." Y/N yelled.

"But he isn't here is he?!" She yelled back. "Because he is dead!!!" She took a deep breath before looking at her with tears in her eyes. "I know you miss him. I do too but he wouldn't want you to resort to violence either."

"I'm going to bed." Y/N told her. "I'm tired."

"What about dinner?" Peggy asked as Y/N just shrugged, heading upstairs to her room. Closing her door as she let the tears fall, sitting on her bed as she covered her face with her hands.

She knew she was hard on her mom, but she hasn't had to deal with everything Y/N has to deal with. The homophobic slurs that get directed at her as she walks through the halls. All of the girls had basically pushed her out of the changing rooms once they had found out, resulting in her opting to change in the nearest bathroom. Just being herself has become a nightmare, especially when everyone frowns upon her sexuality.

Y/N's room was covered in her works, her comic hero designs and other art pieces that she has a lot of pride in. Something she had wanted to do was become an Illustrator, ever since she read her first comic. It was an XMEN comic and she fell in love with it. So she opted to try and make her own, hoping one day she will be as popular as Stan Lee himself.

She also had her favourite records on shelves, the turntable on the chest of drawers as she picked out her Tracy Chapman record. Sighing as she listened to Crossroads, one of her favourite songs as she lay back on her bed.

"What is with you giving Y/N a hard time?" Pietro asked his sister as she entered the kitchen.

"It's fun." She shrugged as she grabbed a can of soda.

"Is it because she is confident enough to be herself and doesn't care what everyone thinks of her." He stated. "Or is it because you're jealous that she has embraced who she is and you're just a scared little girl who hides behind her boyfriend." With that Wanda just scoffed and pushed passed him, although Pietro decided to tell his parents that he was heading over to Y/N's.

"Hi Mrs Rogers, is Y/N here?" He asked her politely as she just nodded to the garage. He thanked her before he headed to the open door. "Y/N, hey." He smiled at her as he approached the car.

"Hi." She spoke quietly as she was concentrating on doing a check up on the engine. "I'm just changing the oil."

"This is a really nice car." Pietro smiled as he admired the body work.

"It is." She smiled at him. "My dad and I rebuilt it a few years ago." She told him as she wiped her hands as she looked over the car. "It was his idea when I was in middle school, he thought it would bea father daughter project."

"I know I am probably late but I'm sorry to hear about him." He told her with a smile.

"Thanks." She smiled at him. "So, why are you here?" She asked him as he smiled.

"I figured we could hang out." He told her as she smiled.

"Sure." She nodded unsurely. "What did you have in mind?" She asked him.

"Well, I figured we could have some food and maybe play a game." He told her. "I've got the new Harry Potter game and I have been dying to play it."

"Just let me get cleaned up." She told him as she disappeared inside. "I'm just going to hang out with Pietro mom." She told Peggy as she disappeared upstairs to get clean.

She was nervous as she followed Pietro into his home, heading straight to his room just as Wanda came out with a teasing grin on her face.

"So you're going to try and turn the dyke straight?" She teased the two as Pietro turned to her, anger evident on his face.

"Shut the fuck up Wanda!" Y/N told her, surprising the two of them. "I am gay and I don't give a fuck what you or anyone thinks." She turned to Pietro who gave her a proud smile. "I have an Xbox at home if you want to play there? I just don't want to be near someone as small minded as your sister."

"Sure, let me grab the game." He told her with a proud smile. Wanda just scoffed as she turned back into her room, slamming the door.

As Y/N and Pietro played the game, he turned to Y/N with a sad smile.

"What happened between you and Wanda?" He questioned as Y/N shrugged. "You used to be best friends when we were kids. Inseparable even."

"I don't know." Y/N told him honestly. "I remember the very first day of high school. We both promised that we would always hang out before school started but she joined the cheerleading squad and well I was me. The nerd with the glasses." She turned to face him. "I guess we drifted apart and well, she hates me now." She turned away, looking back at the screen. "I guess our friendship never meant that much to her as it did to me."

That was the start of a strong friendship between the two, Pietro walked with Y/N to class, always talking about their plans. The Starks had kept their distance from her as Wanda watched the two from afar.

She had been obsessed with Y/N, especially since the two of them had stopped hanging out. She was under pressure from the popular girls so she become just like them, bullying and making fun of anyone she could.

But the moment she saw Y/N kissing Carol behind the school hall, her heart dropped. She knew that she had feelings for her but she was afraid of what others would think about her sexuality so she spread the picture around the school. Because Carol was on the soccer team, everyone turned to bully Y/N who just took everything that was threw her way.

But the jealousy she was feeling as she saw her brother have the friend who she had had for years before.

"So, what are your plans after graduation?" Pietro asked as Y/N helped him with his car.

"I have just got my acceptance letter for NYU." She told him. "I am doing art and english, what about you?"

"I am going to UCLA." He told her. "A full ride for Track."

"That's awesome." Y/N beamed as she wiped her hands. "Turn her over." She told him as he leaned in the car, turning the key in the ignition.

"That sounds so much better." He beamed as she closed the hood.

"You need to lay off the acceleration." She told him. "It can wreak havoc on the pistons and the gasket."

"I'll keep that in mind." He told her. "What are you doing for prom?"

"I don't know." She told him. "I guess maybe give it a miss."

"Come on!!! You have to go." He told her. "I'm asking Monica and maybe you can ask Darcy? You guys are somewhat friends right?"

"I guess you're right." She told him with a small smile. "I'll ask her tomorrow at school."

"Then we can go suit shopping if you want after school?" He questioned as Y/N nodded. Wanda hated the idea of someone else going with Y/N, the idea that someone may be the one to take her away for good.

So when she accepted Jarvis's prom proposal, she had the perfect plan. As the hall filled with the graduating seniors, she watched for Y/N to enter the room. Her heart beat rapidly as she saw her walk in wearing a navy blue suit with Darcy in a light blue dress on her arm. Her twin and Monica was right behind them.

She hated the sight of Y/N being happy with others, a smile that only Wanda used to get from the girl. Wanda took her glass of the red punch and tripped near the four of them, only getting the punch on both Y/N and Darcy.

"What the hell Wanda!" Pietro yelled at his twin as Monica was fast enough to take Darcy to the ladies room to try and clean up.

"What? I tripped." She told him, feigning innocence as Y/N shook her head at the brunette before walking away. Soon groaning as she heard the sound of Wanda's heels on the ground behind her.

"Don't you have a boyfriend to get back to?" Y/N asked her as she turned around to face Wanda.

"I do." She told her with a smirk as she followed Y/N to the exit. "But I want to try something first." Y/N turned around as she approached her car, only to be pushed back by Wanda as she pressed her lips on Y/N's in a hungry kiss. It wasn't until Y/N pushed her away from her.

"What the hell Wanda!" Y/N yelled at her.

"I just wanted to see what Carol bragged about." She smirked. "You are indeed an amazing kisser." She leaned into whisper in Y/N's ear. "Definitely got me going and needing something more." With that, she removed her wet underwear and shoved them in Y/N's face before walking away teasingly. Y/N just stood there in shock with Wanda's underwear in her hands. Watching dumbly as Wanda disappeared back inside the school. She was just happy that she wouldn't have to see Wanda again.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff

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softgreengrass · 2 months

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The Gold

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: angst, au where clint dies on vormir instead of natasha, set a few months after endgame, relationship troubles😬

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: survivor’s guilt, breakup

Author’s Note: based on “the gold” by manchester orchestra and phoebe bridgers

You wake to birds chirping. Natasha has opened the window. She’s nowhere to be seen, probably in the kitchen or out for a run. All at once, a crushing melancholy falls onto your chest, the one that’s been appearing with increasing frequency ever since she returned.

She hadn’t wanted to come back; anyone could see that. She wished she was dead instead of Clint, instead of Tony. And she meant it. She wanted to be dead.

Because of that, it had never felt like a victory to you. You knew the others agreed —Wanda, Peter, Bucky— but that didn’t make it much easier.

Even the things Thanos hadn’t taken, he had changed.

You get up slowly, all too aware of the lump in your throat and the fragility of your heart. If Natasha so much as looks at you wrong this morning, you’ll lose it. Again.

You know she’s tired of it, of your mood swings and sensitivity, but it all stems from her and she knows that too. Those first few weeks after her return had set a certain tone.

Natasha is standing at the kitchen counter, staring at the coffee pot. You know why instantly. You always do.

“I forgot how he used to drink straight from this,” she murmurs.

“I know.”

You’ve grown used to Natasha’s blank stare: it doesn’t twist your heart the way it used to. Some days you think she found your biggest store of sympathy and dried it all up. You shuffle past her, open the freezer, and pull out hash browns.

“I was going to visit Laura today,” she says numbly.

“You visited her yesterday, baby,” you say, glancing up at her as you dump the hash browns onto a pan. “I think she’s okay for today.”

Natasha swallows. You can see the pain in her eyes, the sinkhole of regret. “I don’t have any other plans.”

“You could stay home with me.”

Your tone is neutral, but you know she picks up on the hope in it. And you can feel the distance that grows between you the longer she takes to answer.

“Come on, Nat,” you smile, like your eyes aren’t already stinging with tears.

“I want to be useful,” she pleads. “I… you’re too good to me here. I can’t be useful.”

It takes you a second to process what on earth she could possibly mean. Natasha stands quietly.

In another life, you could’ve said the words on your tongue. Could’ve told her that you need her like water, that the most useful thing she could possibly do is just be with you. But you know you can survive without her. At this point she must know that too.

And yet, there’s something yearning in her eyes, like she has faith in you.

The hash browns crackle and give you an excuse to look at them instead of her.

Somewhere deep inside of you, you know Natasha has always been fine without you. She doesn’t love you in the way you love her, in the way that would summon sympathy and energy out of thin air. She used to, maybe. It’s all bitter on your tongue.

She clears her throat. “I got an email. Apparently they want to give us medals.“

“You brought back half the universe. The least you deserve is a medal.”

You know what she wants to say to that. The silence is frustrated and thick, the lump in your throat quickly returning. You hate that nothing is easy anymore.

“I’m going to Laura’s,” she says eventually.

You can’t find it in you to respond; you can barely make yourself nod. The oil on the pan bubbles and spatters violently, and you realize that’s how your blood feels, singing your arteries and your veins and your heart.

When the door closes behind her, you close your eyes.

Your dad’s face comes to mind. “Don’t open your eyes for a while,” he used to say, his voice gravelly but gentle. “Just breathe that moment down.”

It had helped, especially in your teenage years when you were quick to anger and quicker to hurt. Regret used to swallow you whole. You had told Natasha that once, years ago, when you visited his grave together for the first time. She had been polite.

You don’t want to resent her. God, how you don’t. But the past couple of months have worn you down to the bone, and it would be one thing if she was fighting too, but she gave up on that cliff. You don’t know how much longer you can do all the caring for.

And it’s not like your relationship was perfect before, either. You had met her at a high point. It had always been a steady decline.

A hard wave of guilt nearly knocks the breath out of you, and you have to grip the counter to keep your balance. You love her. You’ll fight for as long as you can.

You eat the burnt hash browns right out of the pan, even though you don’t feel hungry.

By ten, Natasha still hasn’t come home, and you’re back in bed, blinking back more tears, since that feels like all you do nowadays. Now accompanying the gloom and guilt in your ribcage is an unrelenting discomfort. It’s that same old helpless feeling, the one that knows things are going to change and there’s nothing you can do about it.

The vertigo of it all rocks you to sleep.

You make it another week before one of Natasha’s nightmares wakes you up and you’re so full of discontent you can’t breathe. Still, you swallow it down and find her hand in the dark.

“Nat, you’re right here,” you whisper.

A squeeze of her hand and she opens her eyes, frantically looking around.

“It was just a dream.”

Wild eyes find your own; a sheen of sweat coats her face. Her breath heaves. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” The words burn in your throat. How many times will you have to tell her that?

Her head falls back against the pillow with a sigh.

Your eyes ache for sleep, but then there it is again, that realization that soon you might never be in bed with her again. You’re not sure how to appreciate it fully.

“Are you hungry?” she asks coarsely, staring up at the ceiling.

You’re not. “I could eat.”

She smears peanut butter onto toast into the kitchen, gives the first one to you. It must be the millionth time the two of you have been in the kitchen together, dark circles under your eyes and hair frizzy.

“You know I wish none of that ever happened,” Natasha says softly.

“Of course,” you furrow your brow. “I wish it didn’t either.”

“No, I mean,” she huffs. “I wish we didn’t change. I wish I didn’t change.”

It’s like something has pierced your heart. You can’t find anything to say to comfort her, because you wish that just as much as she does.

“I don’t want you to go,” she admits, her bottom lip quivering. “But I don’t want to hold you back just because I’m stuck.”

“Nat…”

She swallows thickly. “It’s your choice.”

You hate that you already know your answer, that you’ve known it for so long. You hate it.

Your arms wrap around her tightly as you take in her softness and her scent again. Her cheek is damp against your shoulder, your own eyes welling with relentless tears.

It feels like stiff fingers prodding at your throat and your chest: it makes you want to curl into a ball. You’re horrified at the idea of a life without her, especially one where you know she’s still walking around. But it’s either drown or freefall, and you need to give yourself a chance.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you mutter into her neck.

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I’m sorry too.”

She holds you as wave after wave of bittersweet relief and regret crash over you, and you fall asleep in each other’s arms once more. The next morning she helps you gather your things.

#natasha romanoff x reader #angst #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff #mcu #marvel #scarlett johansson x reader

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