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thomashelbyswife · 5 months
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Tommy Shelby - Peaky Blinders S1E3
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dearshelby · 14 days
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Hi, Laura!
Could you write headcanons for the dark!Tommy and darling who has daddy issues?
thank you 🤍🫶🏻
this sat on my askbox for so long omg Hello! Sweet anon, I'm gonna offer you a little one-shot instead, I swear I tried to make headcanons but my mind came up with so many possibilities and different scenarios I couldn't put in order, especially because of Tommy's own daddy issues, so here it is, I didn't get too deep into darling's relationship with her dad because well, it's reader insert
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There was something wrong. Tommy knew it. Usually, his kisses drove you mad, a needy mess he loved taking care of, not tonight though.
He had you on his lap, lips attached to your neck and chest while his hands wandered under your nightgown. He was taking it slow, aware you weren't in your best spirits, however, what always seemed to cheer you up wasn't working.
At this point, he expected you to grind down on him, arch your back under his touch and moan softly, asking for more. Instead, you patted the back of his neck, face buried in his soft hair.
Tommy lifted his head, staring at your alert eyes that should've been hazed with lust. There was no other option, he'd had to ask, “Is everything alright?” 
“...yeah,” you whispered.
He frowned and cupped your face, you melted into his touch, brushing your cheek against his hand. If he cared a bit less, it wouldn't be hard to ignore all the signs and rail you into the mattress, in his eyes you were absolutely adorable. 
He couldn't, not until you spat out what was wrong.
“What's with that face, eh? Something's bothering you?” Tommy insisted.
“No,” you cupped his face, “no,” 
Trying to end the conversation, you kissed him slowly, feeling the corner of his lips turn up in the ghost of a smile. Since it was harmless, he thought it was funny you picked up some of his tricks, the main difference was that he could easily break through you.
Holding your jaw, he broke the kiss and gave you a glance you knew very well, the patronizing one, the one you always got before being gently scolded. 
Wrapping an arm around your waist, Tommy pulled you to lay on the bed on top of him. You made yourself comfortable, shivering when he started to  trace random patterns on your thigh.
“Tell me this…” 
“Hm?” 
“You know I always take care of you, right?” 
“Yeah,” 
“Why would it be any different now?” 
It came sooner than you expected, the burning ache in your throat and tears threatening to run down your face, it was true, Tommy took care of you since the day you first stepped into his office.
In your terms or his, all your problems were dealt with, even the ones you didn't deem as problems at first, eventually you realized he was right.
Your Tommy was always right, he was the only one you could tell all your troubles to. So why were you so scared tonight? Perhaps because it was something you never told him about, the only thing about you he didn't know…
Or you thought he didn't know.
“My-” you gulped, “my dad wrote me a letter,” 
“Oh?” 
“And, well, he just was his usual self, I don't know why it affects me so much,” 
Tommy bit his inner cheek, he knew your dad would bring trouble the day he didn't attend your wedding. Surely, he searched into your life for his own benefit, he had to know all about the fucker who made the ceremony less than perfect, but it still hurt to see how heartbroken you were.
“You're too sweet for the fucking world,” he sighed, “that's why it affects you,” 
“...I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Tom,” you confessed.
“Alright, just give me the letter, I’ll answer,” 
“No, it's okay,”
“I'll tell him to leave you alone,” 
“No, Tom, what-” you sighed and lifted your head, “what about we just make love and forget about it?” 
Without answering, he climbed on top of you, initiating a gentle kiss. You might be forgiving to your father, but Tommy wouldn't be.
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userkayjay · 1 year
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PEAKY BLINDERS 2.06
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jakeotters · 6 months
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whentommymetalfie · 8 months
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"I'm happy you're home."
"So am I, sweetheart."
.....
Aka the one where Alfie comes home from a long business trip and Tommy is clingy and sleepy and very happy to see him. Featuring the yellow knitted jumper and fuzzy socks.
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The Job (Part 2)
AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 2. Exhaustion, 8. Panic Attack, 18. Vomiting, 21. Shock, Alt 6. Crying to Sleep Fandom: Peaky Blinders, Tommy Shelby, f!reader, prostitute!reader Summary: After being forced to witness the bloodbath at the stables, you are left shaken to the core. So when Tommy comes to visit you a few days later, you demand answers leading to a revolution you never expected. Word Count: 4266 TW: Steamy Situations/Soft Smut, Non-sexual Nudity, Shock, Trauma, Vomiting, Tears, Mentions of Prostitution, Smoking, Language Notes: A HUGE thanks to @loverhymeswith who not only sent me the ask that inspired this fic and helped me perfect this part, but also for getting me into Peaky Blinders in the first place! Part of @ailesswhumptober's event
Masterlist (coming soon)
Part 1, Part 2
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As you hurried from the stable and the nightmare within, you saw Arthur, John, and a handful of others you recognized as Peaky Blinders pulling up out front. No one looked at you directly as they climbed out of their cars—Arthur the only one to even acknowledge you with a small nod—before silently heading into the stables and drawing their pistols. You increased your pace but you were still within earshot when the cacophony of gunfire sounded behind you. Even though it was too late, you pressed your hands over your ears as you fled down the street, tears blurring your vision as you went. 
Yet no matter how quickly you ran nor how much distance you put between yourself and the bloody massacre you had just escaped from, you felt as if you were still there. Trembling behind the hay bales as the world exploded in blood around you. It was the stuff of nightmares you had heard about in whispers behind closed doors, but the reality of experiencing it first-hand was far more horrifying than you could ever have imagined.
After what seemed like an eternity, you finally stumbled up the front steps of your lodging. Your hands were trembling so badly that it took you three tries to finally get the key in the lock to open the door and, once inside, you rushed quickly to your room. 
Despite it being the middle of summer, you were shivering uncontrollably and there was a chill deep in your bones. After much trouble, you got a fire started in your fireplace and you huddled next to it as closely as you could stand. And yet, the chill persisted. 
Looking down, you saw that small flecks of blood had landed on your new dress and you immediately ripped it off and threw it into the fire. Even if it could have been cleaned, the events of the night had stained the dress in ways that could never be washed off. You would never be able to forget what you witnessed no matter how hard you tried—you didn’t need a reminder of it hanging in your wardrobe as well. 
Standing before the fireplace in only your undergarments, you watched as the once beautiful gown blackened and burned, slowly falling apart as it turned to ash. You wished there was a way to rid yourself of your memories as easily as you had the dress. The sounds of the screams, the metallic bite of blood in the air, the way Tommy’s blue eyes peered at you from a face stained red. All building up to the thunderous booms of gunfire as you fled the stable.
And it was all your fault. 
You had led those men to their deaths. Even if Tommy hadn’t explicitly told you what was to happen once you lured them to the stable, you should have realized what he planned to do. You knew his reputation for dealing with threats to his empire and yet, you had agreed to do what he wished with only the slightest of hesitations. If not for you, those men would be home with their wives or children at the moment instead of lying in a heap in an empty stable waiting for a handful of Peaky Blinders to come to dispose of their bodies.
That thought was the final straw. You dropped to your knees as you emptied the contents of your stomach across your floor. Over and over you retched, even past the point of having anything left in your stomach to expel. Every time you thought the nausea had settled, the memory of the blood-soaked stable would flash in your mind and you would gag once more.
Finally, once your body physically could not take anymore, you rolled over and curled up next to the fire. With tears streaming down your face and a weak whimpering in your burning throat, you slipped into unconsciousness only to find the horrors of the night were waiting to torment you there as well.
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The next few days were some of the worst of your life. At first, you tried to push what had happened to the back of your mind and move on as you attempted to continue about your days as normal. However, that was much easier said than done. The feeling of nausea failed to leave you and all you could manage to hold down was broth or a little bread. 
After the initial horror of the experience settled a little in your mind, you realized it wasn’t even the fact that all those men died that was really bothering you. Yes, the taking of any life was a tragedy but they were gang members who voluntarily chose this life. They knew the dangers involved with it and the potential consequences. And it wasn’t as if you weren’t used to witnessing violence after spending your entire life in Birmingham. It was just a way of life here.
No. What was really making you sick to your stomach was Tommy and how he had involved you in his feud. You were used to him using your body on a weekly basis—you gladly offered it up—but this? This was something completely different.  
He had made you an unwilling, unknowing accomplice to his dastardly deed. Then he had forced you to stand there and witness every last horrifying second of it. The image of his pale blue eyes boring into you from a crimson-drenched face, his outstretched finger pinning you in place from across the room, was burned into your soul. 
Why had he forced you to stay? You had done everything he had asked of you, so why did he want to punish you so? Why did he feel the need to curse you with these images that would haunt you for the rest of your life?
The dread in your chest only grew stronger with each passing day as Tommy’s scheduled visit approached. Wednesday simultaneously came too quickly and seemed to take an eternity to arrive. 
Usually just before he was set to appear, you would put on your finest dressing gown and style your hair just the way you knew he preferred. Then you would wait by the entrance with a cigarette and a glass of whiskey ready for him. However, this time when Thomas Shelby walked through your door, you were seated on the edge of your bed in a simple shift dress that laced up the front. As he entered, your shoulders folded in on themselves as you shrank slightly away from him. Hesitantly, you glanced over at him out of the corner of your eyes. 
If he noticed anything was different, Tommy did not address it. He simply strolled over to the table, took off his coat, and began unbuckling his belt as he asked, “Shall we get to it then?”
You made no move to stand or begin removing your clothes. Instead, you wrapped your arms across your chest, and with a slight quiver in your voice, you whispered, “H-how can you just walk in here as if nothing happened? As if this were just any other Wednesday and nothing has changed?"
He paused as he pursed his lips and gave a slight shrug. "Nothing has changed. I'm here for your services just as I am every week."
"Tommy, I watched you murder an entire room full of men right before my eyes. And I-I helped you do it. I mean, I know I agreed to help you but you never told me I would be leading them to you like lambs to the slaughter.”
His icy blue eyes took on an extra chill as he took a few steps towards you. With a slight bite to his words, he said, “You are neither foolish nor naive. You knew what would happen once you got to the stable.”
“I thought you would talk to them! Give them a warning, maybe send a message! Yes, I knew violence would probably be involved but I didn’t expect you to massacre every single one of them!”
A cunning, almost bordering on cruel, smile spread across his face. “Oh, but I was sending a message. Now anyone else out there who thinks they can fuck with the Peaky Blinders will see what will happen if they come for us.”
“But why did you have to involve me? What did I do to displease you to the point you would—” Tommy’s face dropped as the first tears spilled from your eyes and you took a wet, shaky breath, looking to the ceiling as you blinked rapidly and tried to maintain your composure. You had to know. This question had been haunting you almost as much as what you had witnessed. “I haven't been able to eat or sleep since that night. I feel as if I’m going mad. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is blood and I hear the howls of pain as those men died. Tommy, I have to know why you made me stay. What was the point? I tried to leave but you….Why did you make me witness that?”
For a moment, the room was still as the suffocating silence filled the room. Why wasn’t he answering your question? Maybe he didn’t have an answer. Maybe it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision in the heat of battle. Maybe to him, it meant nothing at al—
“You had to stay because I needed you to see the man I truly am.” 
Your eyes snapped to his face as you looked at him directly for the first time, your brow furrowed in astonishment. “W-what?”
Reaching into his pocket, Tommy pulled out a cigarette. However, unlike usual, he didn’t light it. He just rolled it between his fingers thoughtfully. Then he tapped the end on the table before looking back at you. “The last time I was here you spoke of the Peaky Blinders as if I was not part of them. As if I was not the one in charge of them. Just because I don’t talk about that business with you does not mean it isn’t my life. That I am not as guilty if not more of their ‘transgressions’ as you put it. And I needed to remind you of that.”
“I have never had any misconceptions of who you are or what you do. Even before the first time you came to me, I knew the name Thomas Shelby and I knew the stories. And though the man I have come to know here in this room is far different from what I expected from those stories, they were never far from my mind.”
“But knowing and seeing are two very different things, eh?” Tommy asked. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you are keeping your distance? The way you are too afraid to even look at me directly?”
“I’m not afraid of you, Tommy.”
“Is that right?” He placed his cigarette down on the table and began slowly strolling over to the bed. “Then if it isn’t fear, what is it? Disgust? Loathing? What is it that you see when you look at me now?” He stopped as he reached the foot of the bed. 
Shaking your head, you said, “Tommy, please—”
He stepped closer until he was less than an arm's length in front of you. You dropped your eyes to the floor as he towered over you. 
“Look at me.” When you continued to avoid his gaze, he firmly grabbed your chin between his fingers and forced your head up so you had no choice but to look into his startling blue eyes. “Look at me! And tell me what you see.” You opened your mouth to speak, but he added, “The truth.”
Trembling, you gazed into his eyes and whispered, “I… I see a man capable of unspeakable horrors. One who has washed in the blood of other men, and will readily do so again.”
Tommy stared back at you without the slightest reaction to your words. Then he nodded softly and released your chin. You slid closer to the head of the bed and wrapped your arms around yourself as he turned. Silently, he walked across the room, grabbed his coat, and began to put it on. 
However, you weren’t ready for him to leave. Maybe it was his explanation and reasoning as to his actions or maybe it was the idea that if you let him walk out that door you may never see him again, but something deep inside you had shifted as you answered his question. What you had said was your honest answer, but the truth was so much more complicated than that. And you couldn’t let him leave without hearing the rest of your response.
Taking a deep breath, you stood off the bed, walked over to him, and placed your hand on his forearm. He paused, one brow raised as he waited for you to explain your action.
Wetting your lips, you softly said, “But I also see a man who only does these things for the sake of his family and their interests.” Tommy’s face remained emotionless, but you felt some of the tension ease out of him under your touch so you continued. 
“I don’t think I can ever support your actions that night and it still makes me sick that you made me a part of it and then forced me to watch. You should have at least warned me or let me leave because I didn’t need the lesson you tried to teach me. I hate what you did, but I understand why it was necessary. And as much as I’m loath to admit it…. There is a sort of honor in it. Those men posed a threat to the lives of every member of the Peaky Blinders as well as their loved ones. And you shed their blood so the blood of your people wouldn’t be.” 
Your hand slowly trailed up his arm and across his chest until it rested just over his heart. Feeling it drumming steadily against your palm, you softly added, “The Peaky Blinders are lucky to have someone like you watching out for them.”
As usual, Tommy maintained his mask of indifference, but not even he could control his heart. You felt it jump underneath your hand as the drumming began to pick up its tempo. He blinked, long and slow, before gazing at you once more and it seemed as if some of the ice in his eyes had melted ever so slightly. 
He placed his palm over top of where your hand still lay on his chest. “I hope you know that you are one of the people under my protection. I swore I would never let any harm befall you, even that by my own hand.” His other hand reached up to cup your face, his thumb gently tracing the dark bags that had formed this past week under your eyes. “And yet it seems that is exactly what I did. I thought by making you see me for who I really am I would be protecting you. But I was so blinded by that thought I did not see the hurt I would cause instead. I am truly sorry.”
You were utterly speechless. As long as you had known him, you had never once heard Tommy admit fault or apologize for any of his actions. He only ever brushed off these incidents and changed the subject, but for him to tell you he was sorry? He must honestly regret his poor decision.
“I-I forgive you,” you whispered, your eyes fluttering as his thumb continued to caress your face. “Just don’t ever put me in a situation like that again. Please.”
“I promise.” His hand slid down your cheek slightly until his fingers brushed against your lips. “Shall we seal it with a kiss?”
Faintly, you nodded, your head spinning with anticipation for what was to come. Tommy bent over until his lips lightly grazed yours, the feeling no more than a whisper. For a moment, your heart dropped in disappointment and you figured you had misread the situation. However, when Tommy’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled you into him, the kiss became something else entirely. 
You sometimes kissed Tommy during your weekly appointments but even then, at the peak of pleasure, it never felt like this. Now, there was a heat, an urgency, a need behind his lips that made your knees grow weak. It was something you had never experienced with any man, let alone Tommy.  But the fact that it was him kissing you like this made everything more intense and overwhelming in the best way. You never wanted it to stop.
As you began kissing him back with the same intensity, Tommy’s hands came to rest on your hips and he guided you over to the table. Dropping into one of the chairs, he pulled you onto his lap, your legs spread on either side of his waist. You could feel him already hardening in his slacks and you wrapped your legs around his hips to draw yourself in even closer. 
He buried his face in your hair, his long eyelashes fluttering against the edge of your face for a moment until he turned his head. Slowly, his lips slipped across your jaw, breathing ghostlike kisses in their wake as his mouth traveled along the curve of your throat. When he reached your shoulder, he bit down lightly. This drew a soft gasp of pleasure from your lips and you felt him buck against you in response. 
Yet before his mouth could dip any lower, you tilted his chin so you could see his face. 
His usually pale blue eyes had darkened with lust and the hunger you saw there made you ache deep within your core. This was a different side to Tommy, a side that you had never seen before. While your time together was always pleasurable, you were providing him a service and that was always apparent in his actions. But now…it felt about you just as much as about him. It felt like something deeper than just his regular weekly appointment. Yet before you lost yourself completely to him, before you let yourself believe it could be more, you had to know for sure.
Holding your breath, you murmured, “What is this, Tommy? Business or pleasure?”
Brushing his fingers across your cheek, he responds in a low, husky whisper. “For me, it stopped being business long ago.”
A brilliant smile spread across your face as you surged forward to recapture his lips. Kissing you back with the same fervor, he stood, his strong arms supporting you so you remained wrapped around his waist, and carried you over to your bed. Without breaking your kiss, he laid you down and settled above you. 
Your eyes drifted shut and you could feel his nimble fingers begin fiddling with the laces across the front of your dress, even as his tongue slid past your lips. You arched your back to allow him easier access to the ties as the aching between your legs intensified. But after a moment, he froze and then suddenly pulled back. At first, you were worried you did something wrong, but as you opened your eyes, you saw all of his concentration had shifted to the laces still perfectly fastened in place.
As he continued his futile attempt to untie your dress, he cursed softly and muttered, “Damn you woman for wearing this infernal thing."
Leaning forward, you smiled into his neck before teasing, your lips brushing across his skin, “Come now, Tommy. One might think you’d never undressed a woman before.”
He paused, his head tilting until he locked eyes with you. Then, without breaking eye contact, he curled his fingers into the fabric of your bodice and gave a firm pull, causing the dress to rip open down to your waist. You let out a gasp of surprise but Tommy swallowed the sound as his mouth found yours once again.
With your legs still encircling his waist, you pulled him in closer until his hips were flush with yours and you could feel him straining for release against your clothed core. Slowly, you began rolling your hips to rub against him and you were rewarded with a deep rumble deep within his chest. 
“Not so fast, you little minx,” Tommy growled, nipping at your lip. “There’s no rush tonight. You wanted to know what this was between us? Well, I’m going to show you. Over and over and over, until you never again doubt that this is all about pleasure.” A soft shudder of pleasure shivered down your spine at his words and he smiled. “Now, let me watch you take off what’s left of that dress then our night can begin.”
You had serviced Thomas Shelby more times than you could count. But that night became the first time you and Tommy made love….over and over and over and over, just like he promised. 
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Remarkably, you slept like a babe that night—the first real sleep you had had since the night in the stable. Even though you hadn’t opened your eyes yet, you could tell you had slept through the rest of the evening and well into the next morning by the warmth of the sun trickling in through your window onto the bed. The sunbeams felt heavenly on your bare skin and you hummed contently as you basked in the glow. 
Stretching to help wake up your sluggish limbs, you opened your eyes and found yourself staring directly into a pair of familiar glacial eyes. 
“Tommy!” You were instantly wide awake as you scrambled out of bed, dragging the bedsheet along with you to wrap around your naked body. “Wha-what are you still doing here? I mean, you don’t stay afterward. You never stay afterward.” You felt your face grow hot as you realized now that you had stolen the sheet, he was lying bare in your bed, fully on display. It took all of your willpower to keep your eyes locked on his face and not let them drift down the muscular planes of his body or linger on the hardness between his legs.
Completely unfazed by your reaction or his naked state, Tommy propped himself up on one elbow. “You said you hadn’t been sleeping this past week yet you looked so peaceful last night I didn’t want to disturb you.”
You blinked several times in quick succession as you tried to process that information. “So you stayed….for me?”
He shot you a coy grin. “Yes, I stayed for you. Though my motives may not have been as selfless as you make it seem.” His expression softened and he opened up his arms inviting you back to bed. “The truth is, I too found myself more at peace with you by my side than I have in a long time.”
You relaxed slightly, the motion causing the sheet to slip down until your breasts were almost completely uncovered. Tommy’s eyes shifted down to them and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling. Apparently, for once you had more self-control than the great Thomas Shelby. But that feeling of superiority didn’t last long as your nerves once again gripped you as you faced the situation at hand.
“So, if that’s true….What do we do now?” you hesitantly asked as you worried the sheet between your fingers, afraid his answer might have changed now in the bright light of day. “Do we resume our business as usual or has this become something else? Something more?”
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” Tommy reached over to the small side table where his pack of cigarettes and lighter were waiting and pulled one out. Once it was lit, he took a long drag, held it, and slowly let the smoke stream from his lips. “I told you last night that this has not been business to me for a long time. I’ve respected what you do but if I had my way, you’d be mine and mine alone.”
This time, you didn’t even attempt to mask the smile spreading across your face. In fact, you embraced it until it was shining almost as brightly as the dancing across the room. “And what would you do with me, Thomas Shelby? If I was yours and yours alone?” you teased, leaning forward to show off even more of your exposed breast.
“I’d give you the fucking world.”
All of your playfulness evaporated with your sharp intake of breath. You scanned Tommy’s face for any indication he was joking or teasing you back, but there was none. As you locked eyes with him, all you saw was sincerity. It was truly how he felt. 
Trying to project the same level of honesty back at him, you whispered, “I don’t need the world, Tommy. As long as I have you…that’s all I’ll ever need.”
“Well, you are in luck, love,” he said as he stubbed out his cigarette on the edge of the table. His eyes swiveled back to yours and he added matter-of-factly, “Because you’ve got me.”
You nodded, tears slightly blurring your vision. “And you’ve got me too. For forever. Starting right now.”
You dropped the sheet to the floor, pausing for just a moment to let Tommy take you in. Then you climbed back on the bed and into his waiting arms. 
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I am toying with an idea for a Part 3 so let me know if you would be interested!
Tag List: @lucien-calore, @zebralover
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a-reader-and-a-writer · 5 months
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The Job (Part 2)
AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 2. Exhaustion, 8. Panic Attack, 18. Vomiting, 21. Shock, Alt 6. Crying to Sleep Fandom: Peaky Blinders, Tommy Shelby, f!reader, prostitute!reader Summary: After being forced to witness the bloodbath at the stables, you are left shaken to the core. So when Tommy comes to visit you a few days later, you demand answers leading to a revolution you never expected. Word Count: 4266 TW: Steamy Situations/Soft Smut, Non-Sexual Nudity, Shock, Trauma, Vomiting, Tears, Mentions of Prostitution, Smoking, Language Notes: A HUGE thanks to @loverhymeswith who not only sent me the ask that inspired this fic and helped me perfect this part, but also for getting me into Peaky Blinders in the first place! Part of @ailesswhumptober's event
Masterlist (coming soon)
Part 1, Part 2
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As you hurried from the stable and the nightmare within, you saw Arthur, John, and a handful of others you recognized as Peaky Blinders pulling up out front. No one looked at you directly as they climbed out of their cars—Arthur the only one to even acknowledge you with a small nod—before silently heading into the stables and drawing their pistols. You increased your pace but you were still within earshot when the cacophony of gunfire sounded behind you. Even though it was too late, you pressed your hands over your ears as you fled down the street, tears blurring your vision as you went. 
Yet no matter how quickly you ran nor how much distance you put between yourself and the bloody massacre you had just escaped from, you felt as if you were still there. Trembling behind the hay bales as the world exploded in blood around you. It was the stuff of nightmares you had heard about in whispers behind closed doors, but the reality of experiencing it first-hand was far more horrifying than you could ever have imagined.
After what seemed like an eternity, you finally stumbled up the front steps of your lodging. Your hands were trembling so badly that it took you three tries to finally get the key in the lock to open the door and, once inside, you rushed quickly to your room. 
Despite it being the middle of summer, you were shivering uncontrollably and there was a chill deep in your bones. After much trouble, you got a fire started in your fireplace and you huddled next to it as closely as you could stand. And yet, the chill persisted. 
Looking down, you saw that small flecks of blood had landed on your new dress and you immediately ripped it off and threw it into the fire. Even if it could have been cleaned, the events of the night had stained the dress in ways that could never be washed off. You would never be able to forget what you witnessed no matter how hard you tried—you didn’t need a reminder of it hanging in your wardrobe as well. 
Standing before the fireplace in only your undergarments, you watched as the once beautiful gown blackened and burned, slowly falling apart as it turned to ash. You wished there was a way to rid yourself of your memories as easily as you had the dress. The sounds of the screams, the metallic bite of blood in the air, the way Tommy’s blue eyes peered at you from a face stained red. All building up to the thunderous booms of gunfire as you fled the stable.
And it was all your fault. 
You had led those men to their deaths. Even if Tommy hadn’t explicitly told you what was to happen once you lured them to the stable, you should have realized what he planned to do. You knew his reputation for dealing with threats to his empire and yet, you had agreed to do what he wished with only the slightest of hesitations. If not for you, those men would be home with their wives or children at the moment instead of lying in a heap in an empty stable waiting for a handful of Peaky Blinders to come to dispose of their bodies.
That thought was the final straw. You dropped to your knees as you emptied the contents of your stomach across your floor. Over and over you retched, even past the point of having anything left in your stomach to expel. Every time you thought the nausea had settled, the memory of the blood-soaked stable would flash in your mind and you would gag once more.
Finally, once your body physically could not take anymore, you rolled over and curled up next to the fire. With tears streaming down your face and a weak whimpering in your burning throat, you slipped into unconsciousness only to find the horrors of the night were waiting to torment you there as well.
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The next few days were some of the worst of your life. At first, you tried to push what had happened to the back of your mind and move on as you attempted to continue about your days as normal. However, that was much easier said than done. The feeling of nausea failed to leave you and all you could manage to hold down was broth or a little bread. 
After the initial horror of the experience settled a little in your mind, you realized it wasn’t even the fact that all those men died that was really bothering you. Yes, the taking of any life was a tragedy but they were gang members who voluntarily chose this life. They knew the dangers involved with it and the potential consequences. And it wasn’t as if you weren’t used to witnessing violence after spending your entire life in Birmingham. It was just a way of life here.
No. What was really making you sick to your stomach was Tommy and how he had involved you in his feud. You were used to him using your body on a weekly basis—you gladly offered it up—but this? This was something completely different.  
He had made you an unwilling, unknowing accomplice to his dastardly deed. Then he had forced you to stand there and witness every last horrifying second of it. The image of his pale blue eyes boring into you from a crimson-drenched face, his outstretched finger pinning you in place from across the room, was burned into your soul. 
Why had he forced you to stay? You had done everything he had asked of you, so why did he want to punish you so? Why did he feel the need to curse you with these images that would haunt you for the rest of your life?
The dread in your chest only grew stronger with each passing day as Tommy’s scheduled visit approached. Wednesday simultaneously came too quickly and seemed to take an eternity to arrive. 
Usually just before he was set to appear, you would put on your finest dressing gown and style your hair just the way you knew he preferred. Then you would wait by the entrance with a cigarette and a glass of whiskey ready for him. However, this time when Thomas Shelby walked through your door, you were seated on the edge of your bed in a simple shift dress that laced up the front. As he entered, your shoulders folded in on themselves as you shrank slightly away from him. Hesitantly, you glanced over at him out of the corner of your eyes. 
If he noticed anything was different, Tommy did not address it. He simply strolled over to the table, took off his coat, and began unbuckling his belt as he asked, “Shall we get to it then?”
You made no move to stand or begin removing your clothes. Instead, you wrapped your arms across your chest, and with a slight quiver in your voice, you whispered, “H-how can you just walk in here as if nothing happened? As if this were just any other Wednesday and nothing has changed?"
He paused as he pursed his lips and gave a slight shrug. "Nothing has changed. I'm here for your services just as I am every week."
"Tommy, I watched you murder an entire room full of men right before my eyes. And I-I helped you do it. I mean, I know I agreed to help you but you never told me I would be leading them to you like lambs to the slaughter.”
His icy blue eyes took on an extra chill as he took a few steps towards you. With a slight bite to his words, he said, “You are neither foolish nor naive. You knew what would happen once you got to the stable.”
“I thought you would talk to them! Give them a warning, maybe send a message! Yes, I knew violence would probably be involved but I didn’t expect you to massacre every single one of them!”
A cunning, almost bordering on cruel, smile spread across his face. “Oh, but I was sending a message. Now anyone else out there who thinks they can fuck with the Peaky Blinders will see what will happen if they come for us.”
“But why did you have to involve me? What did I do to displease you to the point you would—” Tommy’s face dropped as the first tears spilled from your eyes and you took a wet, shaky breath, looking to the ceiling as you blinked rapidly and tried to maintain your composure. You had to know. This question had been haunting you almost as much as what you had witnessed. “I haven't been able to eat or sleep since that night. I feel as if I’m going mad. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is blood and I hear the howls of pain as those men died. Tommy, I have to know why you made me stay. What was the point? I tried to leave but you….Why did you make me witness that?”
For a moment, the room was still as the suffocating silence filled the room. Why wasn’t he answering your question? Maybe he didn’t have an answer. Maybe it had been a spur-of-the-moment decision in the heat of battle. Maybe to him, it meant nothing at al—
“You had to stay because I needed you to see the man I truly am.” 
Your eyes snapped to his face as you looked at him directly for the first time, your brow furrowed in astonishment. “W-what?”
Reaching into his pocket, Tommy pulled out a cigarette. However, unlike usual, he didn’t light it. He just rolled it between his fingers thoughtfully. Then he tapped the end on the table before looking back at you. “The last time I was here you spoke of the Peaky Blinders as if I was not part of them. As if I was not the one in charge of them. Just because I don’t talk about that business with you does not mean it isn’t my life. That I am not as guilty if not more of their ‘transgressions’ as you put it. And I needed to remind you of that.”
“I have never had any misconceptions of who you are or what you do. Even before the first time you came to me, I knew the name Thomas Shelby and I knew the stories. And though the man I have come to know here in this room is far different from what I expected from those stories, they were never far from my mind.”
“But knowing and seeing are two very different things, eh?” Tommy asked. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you are keeping your distance? The way you are too afraid to even look at me directly?”
“I’m not afraid of you, Tommy.”
“Is that right?” He placed his cigarette down on the table and began slowly strolling over to the bed. “Then if it isn’t fear, what is it? Disgust? Loathing? What is it that you see when you look at me now?” He stopped as he reached the foot of the bed. 
Shaking your head, you said, “Tommy, please—”
He stepped closer until he was less than an arm's length in front of you. You dropped your eyes to the floor as he towered over you. 
“Look at me.” When you continued to avoid his gaze, he firmly grabbed your chin between his fingers and forced your head up so you had no choice but to look into his startling blue eyes. “Look at me! And tell me what you see.” You opened your mouth to speak, but he added, “The truth.”
Trembling, you gazed into his eyes and whispered, “I… I see a man capable of unspeakable horrors. One who has washed in the blood of other men, and will readily do so again.”
Tommy stared back at you without the slightest reaction to your words. Then he nodded softly and released your chin. You slid closer to the head of the bed and wrapped your arms around yourself as he turned. Silently, he walked across the room, grabbed his coat, and began to put it on. 
However, you weren’t ready for him to leave. Maybe it was his explanation and reasoning as to his actions or maybe it was the idea that if you let him walk out that door you may never see him again, but something deep inside you had shifted as you answered his question. What you had said was your honest answer, but the truth was so much more complicated than that. And you couldn’t let him leave without hearing the rest of your response.
Taking a deep breath, you stood off the bed, walked over to him, and placed your hand on his forearm. He paused, one brow raised as he waited for you to explain your action.
Wetting your lips, you softly said, “But I also see a man who only does these things for the sake of his family and their interests.” Tommy’s face remained emotionless, but you felt some of the tension ease out of him under your touch so you continued. 
“I don’t think I can ever support your actions that night and it still makes me sick that you made me a part of it and then forced me to watch. You should have at least warned me or let me leave because I didn’t need the lesson you tried to teach me. I hate what you did, but I understand why it was necessary. And as much as I’m loath to admit it…. There is a sort of honor in it. Those men posed a threat to the lives of every member of the Peaky Blinders as well as their loved ones. And you shed their blood so the blood of your people wouldn’t be.” 
Your hand slowly trailed up his arm and across his chest until it rested just over his heart. Feeling it drumming steadily against your palm, you softly added, “The Peaky Blinders are lucky to have someone like you watching out for them.”
As usual, Tommy maintained his mask of indifference, but not even he could control his heart. You felt it jump underneath your hand as the drumming began to pick up its tempo. He blinked, long and slow, before gazing at you once more and it seemed as if some of the ice in his eyes had melted ever so slightly. 
He placed his palm over top of where your hand still lay on his chest. “I hope you know that you are one of the people under my protection. I swore I would never let any harm befall you, even that by my own hand.” His other hand reached up to cup your face, his thumb gently tracing the dark bags that had formed this past week under your eyes. “And yet it seems that is exactly what I did. I thought by making you see me for who I really am I would be protecting you. But I was so blinded by that thought I did not see the hurt I would cause instead. I am truly sorry.”
You were utterly speechless. As long as you had known him, you had never once heard Tommy admit fault or apologize for any of his actions. He only ever brushed off these incidents and changed the subject, but for him to tell you he was sorry? He must honestly regret his poor decision.
“I-I forgive you,” you whispered, your eyes fluttering as his thumb continued to caress your face. “Just don’t ever put me in a situation like that again. Please.”
“I promise.” His hand slid down your cheek slightly until his fingers brushed against your lips. “Shall we seal it with a kiss?”
Faintly, you nodded, your head spinning with anticipation for what was to come. Tommy bent over until his lips lightly grazed yours, the feeling no more than a whisper. For a moment, your heart dropped in disappointment and you figured you had misread the situation. However, when Tommy’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled you into him, the kiss became something else entirely. 
You sometimes kissed Tommy during your weekly appointments but even then, at the peak of pleasure, it never felt like this. Now, there was a heat, an urgency, a need behind his lips that made your knees grow weak. It was something you had never experienced with any man, let alone Tommy.  But the fact that it was him kissing you like this made everything more intense and overwhelming in the best way. You never wanted it to stop.
As you began kissing him back with the same intensity, Tommy’s hands came to rest on your hips and he guided you over to the table. Dropping into one of the chairs, he pulled you onto his lap, your legs spread on either side of his waist. You could feel him already hardening in his slacks and you wrapped your legs around his hips to draw yourself in even closer. 
He buried his face in your hair, his long eyelashes fluttering against the edge of your face for a moment until he turned his head. Slowly, his lips slipped across your jaw, breathing ghostlike kisses in their wake as his mouth traveled along the curve of your throat. When he reached your shoulder, he bit down lightly. This drew a soft gasp of pleasure from your lips and you felt him buck against you in response. 
Yet before his mouth could dip any lower, you tilted his chin so you could see his face. 
His usually pale blue eyes had darkened with lust and the hunger you saw there made you ache deep within your core. This was a different side to Tommy, a side that you had never seen before. While your time together was always pleasurable, you were providing him a service and that was always apparent in his actions. But now…it felt about you just as much as about him. It felt like something deeper than just his regular weekly appointment. Yet before you lost yourself completely to him, before you let yourself believe it could be more, you had to know for sure.
Holding your breath, you murmured, “What is this, Tommy? Business or pleasure?”
Brushing his fingers across your cheek, he responds in a low, husky whisper. “For me, it stopped being business long ago.”
A brilliant smile spread across your face as you surged forward to recapture his lips. Kissing you back with the same fervor, he stood, his strong arms supporting you so you remained wrapped around his waist, and carried you over to your bed. Without breaking your kiss, he laid you down and settled above you. 
Your eyes drifted shut and you could feel his nimble fingers begin fiddling with the laces across the front of your dress, even as his tongue slid past your lips. You arched your back to allow him easier access to the ties as the aching between your legs intensified. But after a moment, he froze and then suddenly pulled back. At first, you were worried you did something wrong, but as you opened your eyes, you saw all of his concentration had shifted to the laces still perfectly fastened in place.
As he continued his futile attempt to untie your dress, he cursed softly and muttered, “Damn you woman for wearing this infernal thing."
Leaning forward, you smiled into his neck before teasing, your lips brushing across his skin, “Come now, Tommy. One might think you’d never undressed a woman before.”
He paused, his head tilting until he locked eyes with you. Then, without breaking eye contact, he curled his fingers into the fabric of your bodice and gave a firm pull, causing the dress to rip open down to your waist. You let out a gasp of surprise but Tommy swallowed the sound as his mouth found yours once again.
With your legs still encircling his waist, you pulled him in closer until his hips were flush with yours and you could feel him straining for release against your clothed core. Slowly, you began rolling your hips to rub against him and you were rewarded with a deep rumble deep within his chest. 
“Not so fast, you little minx,” Tommy growled, nipping at your lip. “There’s no rush tonight. You wanted to know what this was between us? Well, I’m going to show you. Over and over and over, until you never again doubt that this is all about pleasure.” A soft shudder of pleasure shivered down your spine at his words and he smiled. “Now, let me watch you take off what’s left of that dress then our night can begin.”
You had serviced Thomas Shelby more times than you could count. But that night became the first time you and Tommy made love….over and over and over and over, just like he promised. 
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Remarkably, you slept like a babe that night—the first real sleep you had had since the night in the stable. Even though you hadn’t opened your eyes yet, you could tell you had slept through the rest of the evening and well into the next morning by the warmth of the sun trickling in through your window onto the bed. The sunbeams felt heavenly on your bare skin and you hummed contently as you basked in the glow. 
Stretching to help wake up your sluggish limbs, you opened your eyes and found yourself staring directly into a pair of familiar glacial eyes. 
“Tommy!” You were instantly wide awake as you scrambled out of bed, dragging the bedsheet along with you to wrap around your naked body. “Wha-what are you still doing here? I mean, you don’t stay afterward. You never stay afterward.” You felt your face grow hot as you realized now that you had stolen the sheet, he was lying bare in your bed, fully on display. It took all of your willpower to keep your eyes locked on his face and not let them drift down the muscular planes of his body or linger on the hardness between his legs.
Completely unfazed by your reaction or his naked state, Tommy propped himself up on one elbow. “You said you hadn’t been sleeping this past week yet you looked so peaceful last night I didn’t want to disturb you.”
You blinked several times in quick succession as you tried to process that information. “So you stayed….for me?”
He shot you a coy grin. “Yes, I stayed for you. Though my motives may not have been as selfless as you make it seem.” His expression softened and he opened up his arms inviting you back to bed. “The truth is, I too found myself more at peace with you by my side than I have in a long time.”
You relaxed slightly, the motion causing the sheet to slip down until your breasts were almost completely uncovered. Tommy’s eyes shifted down to them and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling. Apparently, for once you had more self-control than the great Thomas Shelby. But that feeling of superiority didn’t last long as your nerves once again gripped you as you faced the situation at hand.
“So, if that’s true….What do we do now?” you hesitantly asked as you worried the sheet between your fingers, afraid his answer might have changed now in the bright light of day. “Do we resume our business as usual or has this become something else? Something more?”
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” Tommy reached over to the small side table where his pack of cigarettes and lighter were waiting and pulled one out. Once it was lit, he took a long drag, held it, and slowly let the smoke stream from his lips. “I told you last night that this has not been business to me for a long time. I’ve respected what you do but if I had my way, you’d be mine and mine alone.”
This time, you didn’t even attempt to mask the smile spreading across your face. In fact, you embraced it until it was shining almost as brightly as the dancing across the room. “And what would you do with me, Thomas Shelby? If I was yours and yours alone?” you teased, leaning forward to show off even more of your exposed breast.
“I’d give you the fucking world.”
All of your playfulness evaporated with your sharp intake of breath. You scanned Tommy’s face for any indication he was joking or teasing you back, but there was none. As you locked eyes with him, all you saw was sincerity. It was truly how he felt. 
Trying to project the same level of honesty back at him, you whispered, “I don’t need the world, Tommy. As long as I have you…that’s all I’ll ever need.”
“Well, you are in luck, love,” he said as he stubbed out his cigarette on the edge of the table. His eyes swiveled back to yours and he added matter-of-factly, “Because you’ve got me.”
You nodded, tears slightly blurring your vision. “And you’ve got me too. For forever. Starting right now.”
You dropped the sheet to the floor, pausing for just a moment to let Tommy take you in. Then you climbed back on the bed and into his waiting arms. 
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I am toying with an idea for a Part 3 so let me know if you would be interested!
Tag list: @loverhymeswith, @heart-0n-fire, @that-sarcastic-writer, @eternallyvenus, @writercole, @deppresseddyslexic, @confetti-cakemix, @flamingdisputes, @callsign-phoenix, @slightly-psycho-multifan, @skydisneylover
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strayrockette · 2 years
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Fuck 'em All (Tommy x m!reader)
Requested by 🐇 anon
Prompt: Tommy had a bad day and would like a hug.
Pairing: Tommy x M!Reader
Genre: Fluff
Thomas Shelby Masterlist
Peaky Blinders Masterlist
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The sound of the door slamming and frustrated pacing woke him from slumber. Today was a rare off day from being a contractor. A blissful day to rest his aching bones. Sleep was a must but that didn't seem likely as he peered over at his very disgruntled lover. A small part, a very small part wanted to roll over and go back to sleep but a larger part knew that wouldn't stop Tommy's insistent pacing and angry glares at thin air.
He sluggishly shoved the thin blanket aside and dragged heavy hands over his face to wipe away his exhaustion. His knees cracked painfully as he stood and he briefly wondered if they'd give out on him.
The afternoon sun blazed into the bedroom, blinding his eyes as he crossed the room towards Tommy and wrapped him in a bear hug. It had taken Tommy seconds to respond. Pulling his arms across his chest and holding them tightly. Being taller and slightly bigger than Tommy had advantages, giving the best hugs was one of them. Something Tommy enjoyed immensely.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked tentatively.
Tommy scoffed, "Fuck no."
He hummed, as expected. "Alright then."
Tommy turned, his rough hands ghosting over Y/N skin, "I just need a fuckin' hug."
His eyes trailed over Y/N's face, noting the dried drool on his left cheek and sleepy eyes that barely stayed open. "I suppose I picked a bad time to burst in here, eh?"
Y/N snorted, "It's always a bad time. But that's okay."
Y/N pulled his lover into a deeper hug. His arms wrapping comfortably around Tommy's shoulder and cacooning him in warmth. He could feel Tommy melt into his hug and he couldn't help but feel a bit more energized at making him feel relaxed.
"You're joining me in bed." There wasn't much room for negotiating and Tommy barely had a choice being locked in Y/N embrace. Not that Tommy wanted to leave. Y/N moved backwards towards the bed and allowed their bodies to fall ungracefully back onto the mattress.
A few moments of rearranging themselves and Y/N found himself drifting back to sleep with Tommy pressed into his chest. The weight of his body against his lulling him back to sleep.
He faintly heard Tommy cursing under his breath, "Fuck everyone."
Which prompted him to laugh under his breath, "Not literally, my love. I'll cut you."
Tommy responded with, "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."
His fingers threaded mindlessly over his bare chest, "Go back to sleep, love."
Y/N hummed in response already halfway to dreamland.
When entering their bedroom, Tommy only aimed to get a simple hug. But laying there in his partners arms, he realized he got something much better than a hug. Yes, fuck everyone. I'll deal with their shit tomorrow.
His thoughts turned peaceful. His frustrations and anger melting away with every beat of his lovers heart. Not even the sounds of children laughing and crying from outside could drown it out. And the heat of the afternoon did not bar him from sinking further into y/n chest. His hands resting affectionately over his partners lower stomach, cheeks pressed into his chest, ears awaiting every heartbeat. This was peace.
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Taglist: @mysticalpandora @watercolorskyy @rockerchick05 @ultimatreality @lovecleastrange @lyarr24
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noah-shin · 1 year
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Cillian Murphy moodboard
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lordjohnwgrey · 2 years
Photo
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Peaky Blinders S03E01
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stargirlfics · 10 months
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here's an even better thought, soft!dark!Tommy Shelby who is obsessive and so in love with you it kills him 😢
He aches for you but is so fucked up in the head by the war, his childhood,the drugs, he expresses it in some less then healthy ways.
He would never hurt or cheat on you. And would try to be the best husband he can, but by God is he creepy and just a lil forceful with his affections.🥵
I keep thinking of something Tommy said about how he lost his mind long ago he just uses the crate it came in now….how he’s just kicking the crate sometimes, it’s like that in your relationship
He loves you and love has always been a soft spot for him, a blind spot, something he becomes so obsessive over when he realizes you love him too, that you’d do anything for him
You’re well taken care of by him but he sees red often, he’s got so many enemies, so much death and sadness filling that crate he calls a head and sometimes it seeps out in those less than healthy ways
The possessiveness takes hold and he can get harsh, a lot more rough around the edges, the scary side of him showing when it comes to his affections and how far he would go to show them and protect you!
I’m thinking so many thoughts now!! I do love Tommy being a little unhinged I can’t lie
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no-1peakyfan · 6 months
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He was so- he was so- kfhdkshdhdg SO babygirl, pookie, cutie-patooie, smol, adorable, so so soft, huggable, gentle, needs a hug, mommy issues, daddy issues, crybaby, whimpery, subby, bottom- i mean beautiful boy...I think i got carried away a little uhm anyway
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dearshelby · 8 months
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so I think pre-war!Tommy was already touch starved and full of trauma but he had no problem in being the little spoon. however, after the war depending on how it's done he might feel restrained which is something he hates, he 100% prefers laying on his s/o's chest
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all-mirth-no-matter · 9 months
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I’ve been seeing so many Cillian interview clips that now when I write Tommy I hear Cillian’s real voice instead of his Tommy voice. Need to do a rewatch to get my head back in the game.
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pridesthings · 2 years
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comfort
tommy shelby x reader
summary: tom had an awful day and comes home to his wife comforting him.
warnings: fluff, a little bit of cursing, english is my second language
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warmth spreads through the living room. the sounds from the fireplace going softly up to dust. y/n sits on the cream white couch, a jane austen book in der hand. a loud creak, coming from the door breaks the silence.
“tommy?” she asked while turning around to face her tired looking husband. he closed the door gently and slowly got out of his long coat. a smile creeped onto her face while she stood up to hug him after he put down his coat. she noticed how he relaxed into her touch. “hard day?” the question was almost unnecessary, the exhausted expression on his face gave the answer away. tommy just nodded lightly.
“c'mon sit down” she said softly after pulling back from the long hug to take his hand and lead him to the couch, she was sitting on just a few moments ago. tommy followed y/n and his head fell immediately onto her chest after they sat, hugging her waist tightly.
“do you wanna tell me about it?” y/n asked after a while of silence, just her stroking his hair gentle. he took a moment before he nuzzled even more into her embrace and answered “i wouldn’t want to bother you with my problems, my love” y/n softly took his head in her hands and took it off of her chest to make his icy blue eyes look into hers.
“tommy, you could never bother me with your problems. i want to hear about your day and i don’t care how horrible or bad or bored it might was. i want to hear about it okay? not only when it was a good one.” she said giving his cheek a light stroke. he slowly leaned forward so his lips could meet hers.
the kiss was slow and soft and full of love. they pulled back after a moment and now it was his turn to stroke your cheek. “what did i do to deserve you?” tommy said with a sweet smile on his face wich you wished to see more often. you smiled in return and hugged him again. his head on your chest and his arms around your waist. “nothing serious happened, it’s just” he paused for a second before he continued “a few of sabinis men attacked the garrison today. john, arthur and i were having a smoke so we could fight those bastards but it’s nerv wrecking to always do this shit” he adjusted his head softly “over and over again, i’m tired of it”he finished
you remained silence for a moment, waiting before answering. “that sounds horrible, my love. i’m glad you and your brothers are okay.” she said hugging him tighter, being thankful she was able to hold him. “i’m sure it will stop soon. sabini can’t keep having some men trying to kill you as if it would have his problem solved. i have no doubt, it will sort out soon, okay?” she continued.
“i really do hope it will” tommy answered, now lifting his head from her chest once again before looking deep into her eyes. “and when it will, we will move out of this dirty town. somewhere nice and calm to settle and maybe” he waited a second before he went on “raise our kids, hm?”
“i think that’d be wonderful mr. shelby” y/n answered with a smile on her face, leaning forward to kiss tommy once more.
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blazingstar29 · 1 year
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Here's a pb (namely Tommy/Alfie) prompt idea: I'd love to read something about Tommy being fully, disastrously, black out drunk and Alfie being there to see it. Could be fluffy (Tommy being clingy and very eager to let Alfie know just how much he appreciates him and all around very happy to have him there) or angsty (you know, how things usually are when Tommy is drunk). Whatever sparks your inspiration!
Hey hi hello thank you for the request I really enjoyed writing something a bit soft! I hope it's what you were hoping for :))
Pairing: Tommy/Alfie
Warnings: Drinking, implied mental health problems
“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” he sighs, pushing the door to the town house open. He’s got an arm tucked around Tommy’s waist, holding him firmly upright. A task Tommy is far from up to at present. “What will we do with you?”
“Alf-Alfalfa,” Tommy mutters and begins to pull away from his husband as they step through the open kitchen. 
Aflie laughs despite the late hour and tightens his grip. “Alfie. Say it with me Tom, Al-fie.” 
“No,” Tommy whines. He’s actually whining and Alfie’s willing to risk the slow start in the morning for this display from Tommy. Tommy leans against the grip towards the grocery list. “Alfalfa. Need Alfalfa for the horses” 
“Alright, alright,” he concedes and lets Tommy gravitate towards the magnetic shopping list on the fridge. As he clumsily writes, he bites his lower lip, concreting hard. The pen falls from his grasp, held only by the string attached to the notepad. Over tousled black hair Alfie sees that the word has been left unfinished, simply reading ‘alfal’. He’s tempted to fix it for a split second before deciding Tommy’s mortification in the morning is incentive enough to leave it alone. 
Very rarely does Tommy get like this. In fact Alfie doesn’t remember the last time Tommy was this drunk. Under the influence another side of him emerges completely. Loose lipped, floppy. Tommy leans his weight into Alfie’s grasp, a soft smile tugging his lips. Freckles dust his nose, lashes fluttering. 
He wonders how he got so lucky with Tommy, lucky enough that they were to last this long, to get married. Only a fool would deny that their lucky Tommy is still alive. The years certainly mellowed his agitation and restlessness, a raging mind of anger and sadness. It still simmers, waiting for just enough stress to burst the threshold and it all comes pouring out. 
Never has Alfie been afraid of Tommy, for him yes, but never of him. But those moments of unbridled rage and erraticness scare him. Moments where Tommy flies off the handle and lands on another continent. Alfie won’t lie about it, he has taken away Tommy’s keys, locked the liquor cabinet. Precautions that when Tommy calms and soothes again, he’s thankful four. It’s been so long, he doesn’t dare slide that slope again. 
So yes, Alfie considered himself lucky. Lucky for Tommy to come home on his arm and trust him enough to drink himself stupid. They finally arrive in the bedroom where Alfie not so graciously plops Tommy on the bed. The smaller man grabs the duvet and folds it over himself. 
“No you’re fucking not,” Alfie orders and throws the blanket away. “Jeans off. Don’t need you bitching about rubbed skin.” 
Mindlessly Tommy starts tugging on his belt whilst Alfie helps him out by tugging the shoes he forgot about off. 
“You just want to see what I’m packing,” he teases. 
“Oh sweetheart I know what you’re packing and when you’re sober I’ll tie you up and unpack it again.” 
Even drunk he has the decency to look chastised. Finally laying down together (with Tommy occasionally trying to steal the duvet) Alfie works on getting some shut eye. This plan is interrupted by Tommy fidgeting closer until his head lays uncharacteristically on Alfie’s collar bone. 
“Th’nks,” he murmurs. 
“No stress.” 
“No,” Tommy insists firmly, even going to prop himself up on his elbows. It doesn’t work of course, so he goes looking up desperately at Alfie. Tears are starting to swell in his eyes. “For everything. Thank you.” 
“C’mere you twat,” Alfie murmurs and pulls him close against his chest. 
“I love you, I promise.” 
He shushes Tommy softly as he cards his fingers through his hair. “I know, I know you do. I love you, too.” 
“I love you.” 
“I know.” 
“No, I love you.” 
Alfie smiles with his tired eyes still shut. This could go on for a while. 
“I know you’re awake.” 
“Didn’t say I wasn’t,” he hums. 
With a sigh, Tommy flops back down. “Love you,” he utters one last time.
Alfie doesn’t mind really, he never takes these moments for granted. He’d hear Tommy talk until the ends of the earth and a privilege it would be.
—-
Tommy emerges late the next morning, boxer shorts peeking under the hem of one of Alfie’s t-shirts. He’s holding his phone despite squinting at the brightness. 
Afal: Morning, ducked out to give Cyril a run. Be back by nine. 
Five to nine and true to Alfie’s word he’s puttering around the kitchen. 
“Did you change your contact on my phone?” 
Alfie looks up from the sink and points at the fridge. “No, it’s my new name. I didn’t realise we were out of Afal for the horses either.” 
Sighing, Tommy peers closer, his vision blurry with the hangover headache. The list triggers loose memories of last night.
“Alfalfa. Need Alfalfa for the horses” 
He groans. “Oh fuck off.” 
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