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sorchathered · 28 days

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As you wish

Summary- Bob, Mickey and their girlfriends go on an adventure to the local renaissance faire, but how can Bob be expected to keep his hands or thoughts to himself when you look like the fairy princess of his wildest dreams?

Pairing- Robert “Bob” Floyd x reader

Warnings- language, drinking, smut, knife play if you squint.

It was probably the hottest day of the summer, but that hadn’t deterred any of you from gearing up in your painstakingly hand crafted costumes and caravanning down the highway to Escondido for the Renaissance festival. Fanboy and his girlfriend and you and your newly minted fiancée Robert Floyd had been playing dnd with a group in Coronado for about 2 years now, that’s how all of you had met. You were putting signs up for the new campaign at the library, and Bob happened upon the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, feet carrying him to the bulletin board before his brain caught up with what he was doing. He’d been shy but charming, and you had enthusiastically convinced him to join your group later in the week to try it out. He’d never played before but he new for sure that Mickey had, so with a little (a lot) of begging and promises to buy his beers at the Hard Deck that weekend, the both of them turned up at the community center in Coronado to join the band of misfits they would soon call a second family.

It had turned out to be the best decision he’d ever made if he was honest, the two of you had gone out for coffee after the first meeting and had been inseparable ever since. Two years later and he would follow you anywhere, you were quite literally like a fairy, full of bright energy, quick witted and downright ethereal with your wide shining eyes and angelic features, he truly didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky. You’d kept your costume a secret all month, carefully curating little bits and pieces and as you crossed the threshold into your bedroom he had the thought to just stay home and ravish you all day. A beautiful green peasant dress was split at the hip, the skirt frilly and flowing down past your knees, with a beautiful laced up corset starting at your waist and pushing your cleavage impossibly high on your chest, he was definitely salivating and couldn’t seem to snap out of his trance until you skipped over and tapped his nose. “Hmm? What? I’m sorry baby, what did you say?” He wasn’t subtle at all and you giggled as you leaned into him to pepper kisses along his cheeks and slotting yourself between his thighs. “I take it you like what you see my strong, powerful warlock…buuuut I don’t think we have time for what you have in mind so get dressed handsome it’s time to go!” You say with a laugh as you step out of his arms and skitter down the hall with a cackle. Good Lord, he was going to lose his mind watching you all day, as he heaved himself off the bed he heard you holler down the hallway, “oh and baby just wait until you see my wings!” He groaned again at the thought and trudged to the bathroom to take an ice cold shower, grumbling about his temptress fairy princess and how he’d rather stay home.

You couldn’t have had a better time if you tried, somehow you and Mickey’s girlfriend Lana had convinced the boys to dress up as well, and you both had to admit there was something to be said about watching them walk around in billowy shirts looking like they’d just stepped out of a Tolkien novel. The boys were having the time of their lives, drinking ale from giant wooden tankards and consuming their weight in turkey legs, while the two of you girls bought glittery potion bottles and crystal necklaces from the local vendors. Finally heading home as the sun went down you peeked through the rear view at the drunken rogue and warlock passed out in your backseat and giggled, you just hoped Bob would be alert enough for what you had planned for the evening when you got home.

After safely depositing Lana and Mickey at home, your knight in shining armor clambered into the front seat, bright eyes full of mirth as he looked you over, his fingers had been itching to loosen your corset strings all day and if he was honest he was a little hard at the thought of letting you ride him with nothing but your fairy wings on. You fortunately were on the same page, impatiently ushering him through the doorway and down the hall as you groped at him and sucked on his tongue, you’d always wanted to role play as your characters but had been too scared to ask, but now looking at Bob’s flushed cheeks as he toyed with the laces of your corset you knew he was absolutely into this.

“Can I help you handsome? See something you like?” You said as you turned in his arms, looking up at him through your lashes and rubbing your body all over his. “Fu- I- I see a lot of things that I like my lady, think you should show me what’s hiding under this gown, can’t be too careful can I? Fairies are known for their trickery.” He says as he leans in to suck a mark behind your ear and begins unlacing your corset, tantalizingly slow as he continues to nibble at your neck and collarbone, nimble fingers untangling the laces and smoothing over exposed skin as your dress begins to loosen and slip from your frame. “I don’t know what you mean sir, we fairies are a peaceful lot, I would be a fool to try and get the upper hand on such a strong, powerful warlock such as you” you say with a cheeky grin, sliding the dagger you’d bought today from your thigh holster and pressing it into his side. “Hmmf, exactly like I said, tricky business dealing with fairies” he huffed out a laugh and raised his hands, letting you lower him to his knees in front of you. You switched to your normal voice as you lifted his chin, stroking the stubble that you always loved him to have on the weekends. “What’s your color baby?” “Green, so so fucking green, You’re a dream come true you know that?” He said as he smoothed calloused palms across the back of your thighs, taking your thumb into his mouth and sucking it, drawing a whimper from you as you nodded furiously at him.

“If you wanted to check me for weapons all you needed to do was ask, but since I have you on your knees, why don’t you put that smart mouth to task on something useful” you said you hooked your leg over his shoulder and pulled him close to your core, as fun as the banter had been you were wound up and needed him to touch you. He ran his nose along your underwear, teasing you with little nips to the side of your thighs and pulled back to look at you again, disappointment crossed your features and he chuckled and pinched your ass from under your skirt. “I think you might want to roll for persuasion sweetheart, I could draw this out a little longer if I’m honest, but I wouldn’t be opposed to you begging for it.” You blinked down at him a little stunned, that cocky son of a bitch, he knew exactly how to play you. “Oh- oh that’s mean. Fine. Give me your dice then, I know you bought new ones today.” He definitely did buy a new set today, and he would be lying if this wasn’t absolutely hilarious to him so he pulled them from his pocket and placed them in your hand, throwing his head back and laughing at the irritated look on your face as you shook the dice and tossed them at his feet. “Ha! D20! You heard me Warlock, put that silver tongue of yours to good use or I’ll cut your throat where you stand.”

You feigned irritation but you’d get what you wanted, you both knew he’d never tell you no anyways, he ran his hands over your thighs again and began to slide your underwear down your legs, letting it dangle off the leg hanging from his shoulder and set to work, licking a stripe through your folds as he looked at you with his piercing blue eyes. Fuck he was always so good at this, eating at you in earnest as you ground against his face and tugged his hair, making out with your cunt and moaning into you like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. “Oh, oh fuck I’m there just like that” you breathed out and came hard on his tongue, he didn’t stop until you were overstimulated and pushing at him to stop, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and pulling himself up to grope your chest and kiss you. “What do you want my sweet fairy princess? I’m at your service my love.” “Want you to fuck me, need you inside me, claim me.” He was pretty sure you were trying to kill him, it wasn’t even his birthday and you were giving him his wildest dreams, he pulled the rest of your dress and corset off as you clawed at his shirt and pants trying to strip him down to nothing. Finally free of clothes his eyes roamed over you, you were perfect in every way but he still couldn’t get that one thought out of his head so he stepped around you to grab the wings you’d dropped and held them in front of you. “Can’t get it out of my head, what do you think baby? Ride me with the wings on?” He had the gall to look a little sheepish as his cheeks heated up, you’d never get over just how damn cute he was, he could be downright filthy but this is somehow what caused him to get shy on you. You slipped your arms through the holes and shoved him backwards into the bed climbing onto him and sliding his hard cock into you, rocking slowly with him as he sucked on your chest, pulling a nipple into his mouth as you cried out, oh God were you close again already? Shit maybe you two needed to start doing this more often, you felt like you were buzzing with electricity with every thrust, the small thatch of hairs at the base of him grazing your clit deliciously as you came hard for the second time, sending him tumbling over the edge with you as his teeth sank down into the juncture of your neck, painting your walls with his spend.

He made to roll you onto your back but you made him wait, your wings were expensive and you didn’t want him to crush them, so you slid them off and let them hit the floor, rolling him on top of you as you continued to kiss lazily. “Damn this could be a problem” he said with a grin and you looked up at him puzzled, “how am I ever supposed to go to dnd on Fridays with you when all I can think about is you rolling a d20 so I’d eat you out.” You both couldn’t stop your giggles, and when Friday rolled around and your DM suggested Bob roll for persuasion, you couldn’t help but giggle and wink at him, thinking about taking him home and donning your pretty wings for him again and how it should definitely become a regular event.

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Divider by- @strangergraphics

Tagging- @attapullman @mamamaystbr @mamachasesmayhem @bobgasm @roosterforme @withahappyrefrain @floydsglasses @sebsxphia @pinkdaisies9285 @hangmansgbaby @sugarcoated-lame @teacupsandtopgun

#top gun maverick #bob floyd #top gun maverick fanfiction #robert floyd x you #robert floyd fic #robert bob floyd fic #robert floyd smut #robert floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x reader #robert floyd #robert bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #top gun bob #bob floyd fic #bob fucks #dnd #dnd smut #dnd fanfiction

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whiteladyofithilien · 3 months

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I think my main reason for shipping Caranthir and Haleth is because we need at least one inter-race Tolkien couple where the human is a woman. Like all three canon human-elven pairings it's always the fabulous fae elven beauty and the heroic dude and I'm like... What about a mighty elf-lord and his badass human lady? Hmm? I need this to be a thing and Haleth/Caranthir is the only ship I know of that has that dynamic going for it plus of the middle three sons of Feanor Caranthir is the only one NOT part of the attacks on Luthien... therefore he's the best of those 3

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frodo-with-glasses · 19 days

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More Reading Thoughts: In the House of Tom Bombadil

BEHOLD! ANOTHER CHAPTER! We’re making it at a magnificent clip nowadays

Eyyyy it’s Goldberry!

Frodo surprising himself with the poem that springs out of his mouth when he sees Goldberry will never not be hilarious and adorable

It does beg the question of where the heck that came from. Does Goldberry just have that effect on people? Does it have serving to do with Elf magic, like she implies? Does Frodo just have that accidental rizz?? Who knows!

Frodo: “Who is Tom Bombadil?” Goldberry: “Well, he is, of course, silly :-D”

Mighty convenient that Tom has exactly four beds for the four travelers

They DO take a bath before supper >8-D (Don’t mind me, just a comic idea percolating in my head. Some of you know what I’m talking about.)

Tom was waiting for them. Tom was waiting for them. He’d heard word that the hobbits were coming. He wasn’t actively trying to find them, but he wasn’t surprised when he did. I don’t know why that enchants me so much.

Merry and Pippin like “AAAHH NO DON’T TALK ABOUT THE WILLOW TREE” is simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking depending on how you look at it

Heeheehee nightmare time

Frodo has a dream about Gandalf and Black Riders. Hmm, pity. You’d think he’d have a nightmare about water, given his near-drowning and the way his parents died…but I guess this is important for foreshadowing purposes.

Pippin has a dream about being inside the tree. He feels surrounded and afraid. Understandable.

MERRY has the dream about water and drowning?? Shut up!! If I were him, I’d be way more disturbed that a freaking tree was IN MY HEAD and threatening to kill me!!

“Sam slept through the night in deep content, if logs are contented.” Hilarious 🤣

Much apologies to my girlies on the server who headcanon the hobbits with phobias corresponding to the four elements; sadly, Tolkien is not on the same page as us this time.

Tom: “You’d better not be late to breakfast, or you’ll get nothing but grass and water!”

See, Frodo gets it. Rainy days are awesome. They are beautiful and force you to slow down and admire the world.

“The trees were here before you, mind, and they don’t much care for your shenanigans!”

Ooh, so the Barrow-wights are the ghosts of dead kings that the Nazgul woke up. Fascinating.

Nothing makes the world of Middle Earth feel old and rich in history more than Tom’s stories

Goldberry’s hand being partly translucent is such a vibe

WAIT. Tom and Goldberry. Differences. Tall and short. Blonde and brown. One graceful and ethereal, the other down to earth and joyful. Working together, not in competition. Frodo and Sam. SHUT UP GUYS I’VE CRACKED THE CODE—

Tom is friends with Farmer Maggot!!

FARMER MAGGOT HAS SPOKEN TO GILDOR

Dang where’s my fantasy epic about Farmer Maggot you guys

And this is the part where Tom puts the Ring on his finger and doesn’t disappear, and if they’d ever included this in the movies it would’ve destroyed the gravity and mystique of the Ring altogether

Merry having to bite back a yell like “HOLY CRAP FRODO’S GONE” 🤣

WAIT I CAN MAKE THAT ANGSTY TOO aw heck the brainrot is setting in

“Frodo laughed (trying to feel pleased)…” Relatable, Frodo, relatable

Tom: “And remember, DON’T GO NEAR THE BARROW-DOWNS!” Meanwhile, the hobbits, in the very next chapter:

#tom bombadil #frodo baggins #meriadoc brandybuck #merry #peregrin took #pippin #samwise gamgee #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing #chapter review

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holylulusworld · 5 months

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Favorite Spot

Summary: Let's go to your favorite spot.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Librarian!Reader

Warnings: fluff, implied smut, mentions of an accident (nothing happens)

A/N: Words in italics are not mine. They are taken from the fellowship of the ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

Soft Spot masterlist

<<Secret Spot

“Imagine, the bookstore won’t close,” you excitedly tell Bucky about your beloved bookstore. The one he bought for you not weeks ago. “The owner said he’ll keep it open because he found an investor.”

“I’m happy for you, doll,” Bucky softly says. He loves that you find happiness in the simplest things. A flower, a new book, or the fact that the bookstore won’t close. “Do you want to visit it today?”

“I already did,” you point at the new books on his desk. “I bought you some books about motorcycles for you. I know you want to buy a new one.”

“That’s sweet of you,” he smiles at you. “And very attentive, Y/N. I thought about buying one but decided against it. At least for now.”

“Why?” You question. “You are passionate about bikes. I know you and Steve talked about going for a ride more than once.”

“I got a girl at home and can’t just jump on my bike.”

You wrinkle your forehead. “Bucky, what’s wrong? Do you think that I don’t want you to have fun without me? Steve is your friend, and I’m happy that you have good friends.”

“Steve had an accident with his bike.”

Gasping loudly, you grab Bucky’s hand. “Did he get hurt? What happened? Is he in the hospital?”

“Breathe, baby doll,” Bucky cups your face and tells you to breathe with him. “He’s got a few scratches. Only his pride got hurt.” Your boyfriend grins. “But his accident made me realize that I could get hurt too.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” you murmur as he leans closer to kiss you softly. “Never. Please don’t get hurt.”

“I know that you don’t want to see me get hurt. That’s the reason I don’t want to buy a bike. This, and that I wanted to go for a ride with you. I couldn’t handle seeing you get hurt only because I crashed my bike.”

“No bike then,” you wrap your arms around Bucky and hide your face in his chest. “Maybe we find a less dangerous hobby for you and Steve.”

“Reading?” He grins when you look up at him, pouting.

“Do not underestimate the danger of reading. If a book is dusty you sneeze. Even worse when you are allergic to dust. You can get a papercut at your finger too. A papercut is painful!”

“Wait! Reading is dangerous.” Damn him, he smirks this irritable smirk he reserves only for you. Mostly to tease you. “I think you must stop reading immediately in that case.”

“No.”

“Hmm…or I’ll wrap you in a blanket and read to you from now on.”

You giggle at his words. Bucky is in a playful mood again. “Only if you let me sit in your lap and whisper in my ear while reading the book.”

True to his words Bucky wrapped you into a warm blanket and you are sitting in his lap. His warm chest is pressed to your back, and one strong arm wrapped around you, he keeps you warm.

Mesmerized by the deep timbre of his voice you sigh deeply. You feel warm, safe, and comfortable close to Bucky.

Bucky chose one of his favorite books to read to you. The fellowship of the ring, by Tolkien.

“I will take the Ring", he said, "though I do not know the way.” Bucky reads out loud. You wiggle in his lap to get even more comfortable. “Elrond raised his eyes and looked at him, and Frodo felt his heart pierced by the sudden keenness of his glance.” He continues.

“I love this book,” you yawn, “and Frodo. He’s so…brave, yet naïve. Poor guy doesn’t even know what he got himself into. Maybe next time, he should just shoot the bad guy.”

Bucky chuckles. “He’s not that kind of guy. But I appreciate your enthusiasm. Now, do you want to hear more about Frodo and the fellowship or…”

“We should go to my favorite spot,” you dip your head to glance over your shoulder. “Our bed.”

“Uh-huh…” Bucky flashes you a cocky smile. “What do you want to do in the bedroom, miss?”

“Everything that’s not safe for work…”

#mobster!bucky #bucky barnes x female reader #mobster!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #female reader #Favorite Spot

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luveline · 2 years

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first of all, CONGRATS on 10k! you're crazy talented and seem so lovely and nice and I'm so happy such nice things are happening to you!

I loved your drabble about Steve taking care of you while your sick and was wondering if you could do something similar with Eddie, please?

tysm!!!!!! eddie taking care of you when you're sick! ♡ fem!reader | 1k words

Your wrists feel weak. It's not a symptom you'd expected to have with the common cold and it has you frowning with worry. Your mug in your hands feels suddenly achingly heavy and you have to set it down on the nightstand, hissing to yourself.

"What the fuck?" you ask, perplexed. Your voice, though scratchy and quiet, echoes through the room.

"What, baby?" Eddie asks. He turns baby into a different word entirely; says it with enough softness that it's more of a sound than a name.

You feel your frustration wane. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Eddie pulls off his headphones and sets his guitar aside on the floor. He stands and stretches, exposing a sliver of his midriff that makes you sad. You miss his skin but you're too sick for anything fun. Before you know it he's taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger, eyes dancing with light.

"What's the matter, sweet thing? Tell Eddie," he croons.

You go from bashful to bemused. "The third person?"

"All the cool kids are using it. Tolkien, Le Guin, C. S. Lewis."

"Talking about yourself in the third person," you amend, used to his habit of missing the point entirely.

"Changing the subject," he assesses back.

He rubs his thumb over the bump of your chin and perches on the edge of his bed. You've contaminated his entire room by now, so his hesitation isn't for any fear of getting sick – Eddie's the one who made you sick. He's tentative because he feels guilty.

You're not that mad. In fact, you're kind of liking it. He's using every excuse he can to dote on you, and you're happy to let him.

And your wrists really do hurt.

"I'm aching," you admit.

Eddie drops your chin in favour of your hand. "Everywhere?"

"My wrists hurt."

His eyes widen slightly and his lips part. "Shit, really?" he asks. He pushes your closed hand into his palm and rubs your knuckles until they're all flattened out. "Is it gonna make it worse or better if I touch it?"

"I don't know. Maybe worse."

He nods and his eyelashes kiss, his eyes half-lidded as he presses his lips very gently against one wrist. You offer the second and he does the same, his grin wolfish. Self-satisfied.

"Why're you smiling?" you ask suspiciously.

"It's hard to explain. Especially to mere mortals," he tells you, leaning in close.

You force your mouth to your shoulder as a cough wracks you, your chest and stomach hurting from the force of it. You're tired of being sick. Fatigue lines your features, turns your mouth down and your eyes sticky.

Eddie softens like butter in the sun. "How about something else to drink? Something warm." You crinkle your nose. "No? Hmm."

"I'm not very thirsty," you say. Not strictly true, but picking up the glass feels like more trouble than it's worth right now.

Eddie drops your hands to mess with his hair. He pulls it away from his face and runs his fingers through it like he's going to tie it up but never does, eyes watching your shoulder all the while. He's looking through you as he thinks. Suddenly, an idea dawns on his face. His eyebrows jump.

He strides out of his room with little preamble and no explanation. You sulk to yourself and slide down the bed until your back is flat to the sheets and your head propped up by his depressed pillows.

Eddie returns with a can of ginger beer in his hands. He looks tall in the doorway. His smile slips.

"You're looking at me like I'm dying."

"No, that would be more like this," he says, and shows you.

His brows pinch up tight at their starts and low at their ends as he frowns. A coy heartbreak plays in his eyes.

He drops the act quick as a flash and giggles to himself as he returns to your side. You roll your eyes and hold out your hand for the ginger beer.

You wince as he passes it over.

"What?"

"S'heavy," you say against the cold metal rim, taking a small sip. Your eyes slip closed in bliss.

He takes it from you and scrounges in his pockets for something. There, he slides a straw into the can and offers it again. He evades you when you try to take it.

"I'll hold it. You drink," Eddie says.

"I can hold my own drink."

"But why should you?" His free hand finds your thigh under the covers. He gives you a tender squeeze. "I made you sick, this is the least I can do."

Sincerity is always a good look on him. You take a huge pull of ginger beer and smile at him gratefully.

"Am I too sick to give you a thank you kiss?" you ask.

He puts your new drink with the first and shifts closer to you. "You could have a flesh eating bacteria and I'd still let you kiss me." He's coquettish.

"That's disgusting," you say.

He leans down. "Super disgusting," he says agreeably. His hand comes up to cup your cheek and he kisses down, both soft and searching as his fingertips glide over the hill of your cheek.

You break the kiss quicker than you'd really like to for another weak cough into your shoulder. You're tired and nauseous and everything hurts weakly, a pulsing pain.

Eddie pulls your face back up and strokes the well of your eye with his pinky finger. "Sorry I made you sick."

You're finding it impossible to hold a grudge. "I'll forgive you."

"When?"

"I don't know. Can I have a hug while I think it over?"

He pushes your hip with his and settles on top of the covers, pulling you onto his chest and making a lazy, almost obnoxious sound of pleasure. "You take all the time you need, babe. I'm happy to wait."

"I bet you are," you mutter, nestling your face into his chest.

He strokes your hairline with his thumb, his smile evident when he drops a kiss at your temple.

"Be careful with your wrists," he murmurs.

#eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things #x reader #eddie munson blurb

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undercat-overdog · 12 days

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There is more to Tolkien's work than his Catholicism.

I think there's a general tendency in many areas of fandom - fandom broadly, I'm also think academic work and reddit; this post isn't aimed at tumblr fandom specifically. in fact probably a bit more aimed at reddit but there was no precipitating incident that's leading me to write this. Anyways, a general tendency to over-weight the influence of Christianity in his work? Especially when it comes to finding allegories (Andreth talking about her people's beliefs in the Athrabeth is the only thing I think that is one, and Tolkien in his notes talked about how it was too Christian and wanted to change it), but more generally too. And sometimes I think Catholicism is brought into the text in ways that really aren't there. Idk.

Also... I think there is a way that him himself as a creator is. Hmm. I don't want to say under-discussed because it's not. But his work is more than the sum of his influences?

#ok there was a precipitating incident #and that was me being reminded of arguing on reddit a while back with some guy who #thought the story of turin was inspired by the book of job #and dismissed the influence of the kalevala #it remains one of the most baffling internet encounters i've ever had and i've been on the internet since i was a pre-teen in the 90s #so i guess i'm vague-posting about some weird guy on reddit #meta

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wordbunch · 11 months

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The Hobbit re-read: favorites, thoughts and honorable mentions

thank u to my tumblr besties for encouraging me to rant abt this book for a little while, and brace yourselves for a LOOONG post; aka We're Going On An Adventure!

this quote abt Gandalf: "tales and adventures sprouted up all over the place wherever he went, in the most extraordinary fashion" like. THIS exactly is Gandalf to me ✨✨✨

the whole good-morninged sequence (as if he was selling buttons at the door! can you imagine! By belladonna tooks SON of all people!!!) 😱

"a cake or 2 would do him good after this fright" me too bilbo

"he had a horrible thought that the cakes might run short" me too bilbo 🍰

Gandalf constantly selling Bilbo's skills to the company and just hyping him up and believing in him all the time!!!! most excellent and audacious hobbit!!! 😎

"this was thorin's style... if he had been allowed he would probably have gone like this until he was out of breath" aka he is Dramatic and Important

"bilbo was getting excited and interested again so that he forgot to keep his mouth shut" how many times will i write ME TOO BILBO in this post

"THE EXPLANATION DID NOT SEEM TO EXPLAIN" 💯💯💯

gandalf: i found him in the dungeons of the necromancer; thorin: girl what were YOU doing at the necromancer's??? 🧐🧐🧐 gandalf: finding things out as usual O M G like what else would he be doing there 😚

bilbo constantly wishing he was back home as soon as he left

"off bilbo had to go before he could explain that he could not hoot even once like any kind of owl" yall this book has so many funny moments but like in a very chill humor way

the fact that one of the TROLLS is called WILLIAM 😂😂😂

"i am a good cook myself, and cook better than i cook" okay bilbo rizz 😏🔥

"they had not at all enjoyed lying there listening to the trolls making plans for roasting them" you don't say. i love this deadpan humor SO MUCH jrrt snapped

that whole beautiful iconic description of kind as summer elrond

"their clothes were mended as well as their bruises, their tempers, and their hopes" WHEN will i go to rivendell 😩

"there is nothing like looking if you want to find something" thorin life coach realness 👏🏼👏🏼

thoring gesturing at a miserable desolate land: these tRuLy hOspiTabLe moUnTaiNs 😍

then gandalf lit up his wand. oF coUrSe it wAs gaNdaLf, but they were too busy to ask how he got there. 4ever mood

he thought of himself frying bacon and eggs in his own kitchen ME TOO BIL- 🍳

"Gollum brought up memories of ages and ages and ages before, when he lived with his grandmother in a hole by a bank by a river" this kind of made me cry. it brings unexpected humanity to such an appalling character; kinda makes you want bilbo to spare him eventually

and the fact itself that bilbo felt so bad for him he decided to just leave him be

"you would have laughed (from a safe distance)" LOVE how JRRT puts random little comments addressed to the reader

gandalf just being like ok i gotta go do other things now. good luck besties. ✌🏼😚

beorn: what are you, a traveling circus? and he is actually right 🤪

"you have got to look after all these dwarves for me, gandalf laughed" and i cried

bilbo being like hmm how will i get down from this tree (except by falling)

bilbo's song while killing gigantic spiders "not very good...but you must remember he had to make it up himself in a very awkward moment"

the dwarves starting to respect him and bowing down until they FALL OVER is such a comical image to me

the whole alluring magic of the elvish feast in the forest which disappears when they get closer!! a whole fairytale mr tolkien!!! 😍

thranduil is a greedy b <3 and especially VERY fond of wine 🍷🍷🍷

"i will lock you all in again and you can sit there comfortably and think of a better plan" bilbo badass mode and we love to see it 💋

tolkien being like WELL u can laugh but you wouldn't have done any better if u were him. real.

when they're in dale i love the numerous references to "songs and stories of old" and all of them basically being a living legend and turning their stay in dale into a public holiday and spectacle

thorin is cocky af

/freeze frame/ "you are familiar with thorin's style on important occasions so i will not give you any more of it" its ok jrrt, let him be a drama queen 👑

bilbo when he takes some gold from smaug being like "this will show them!!!1!1" 😠😠

sassy bilbo strikes again with "did you expect me to trot back with the whole hoard of thror on my back? if there's any grumbling to be done i think i might have a say" GO OFF KING 👏🏼

i just rly love him okay, he stole my heart in this book like a real legitimate professional burglar that he is

"i am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly" etc. basically this whole exchange btw bilbo and smaug is pure gold (pun not intended) 🤫

talking birds that eavesdrop. enough said.

the descriptions of the arkenstone which make you actually want to have it too. genius. there could be no two such gems, even in so marvellous a hoard, even in all the world." 💎💎💎

the harps (untouched by the dragon who had a small interest in music).. WHY is this so funny to me

bilbo putting on some elvish DRIP and being like ✨✨ i feel magnificent ✨✨ (but probably look dumb ��)

"this is the great chamber of thror" ok thorin the tour guide king

BARD MY KING i love one (1) man 🎯

bilbo being absolutely against any wars or battles and just wanting to go home BUT also being a sneaky lil shit who takes the arkenstone to bard and thranduil BUT also still not wanting to leave his dwarf buddies

when he gives them the gem "not without a shudder, not without a glance of longing" AHHH i want it!

ambiguous gandalf returning. always love to see it

"if you don't like my burglar, please don't damage him" 🙄 ffs thorin chill

"you are not making a very splendid figure as king" yes gandalf call him out

defeat seems "very uncomfortable, not to say distressing" to bilbo. we love.

the fact that he was just knocked out cold during the battle so thur we know very little abt what really happened?? jrrt genius writing hack. might use this one 🤔

fili and kili deserved a better sendoff than just mentioning that they died. come on.

thorin's last words and reconciliation w bilbo... PLEASE I WILL CRY until i throw up. "it has been more than any baggins deserves." "no! there is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly west. some courage and some wisdom blended in measure. if more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

i might still be crying

"tea is at 4 but any of you are welcome at any time" my heart... ❤️😭 Guess he's no longer scared of running out of cake

bilbo gifting thrandy a necklace as an apology for eating and drinking his stuff secretly, king shit 😉

bilbo having the absolute NERVE to say to ELVES "your lullaby would wake a drunken goblin". wig wig

he deadass borrowed a handkercheif from freaking ELROND 😳

bilbo arriving home to being presumed dead and his stuff literally being auctioned off

"it was a long time before he was in fact admitted to being alive again…" and sackville-bagginses having sm beef with that HAHAHA

he lost his reputation but he lived his best life so who's the winner here 😌😌😌

the closing lines "you are a very fine person, mr baggins, and i am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all" "thank goodness! said bilbo laughing."

like. THIS. literally embodies everything. he is just a little guy. just some smol person. BUT STILL had a say in how BIG things happened. BUT he remains happy to be just a smol simple person.

overall an incredibly fun read and it was way more genuinely FUNNY than i anticipated. bilbo is a whole mood. thorin is a diva. gandalf is there to start shit and hype up bilbo. jrrt with random author's notes throughout the book gives me life.

#the hobbit #jrr tolkien #tolkien #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #lotr #Bagginshield #fili and kili #Gandalf #Lotr #Lord of the rings #Lotr meta #Lotr shitpost #from my pocketses

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n0tangeliccc · 10 months

Text

Important

Jimmy x reader

(All characters are 18+)

Warning: depiction of a panic attack, emetophobia (nothing ever happens but it’s mentioned throughout)

A/N: self-indulgent fluff after that angst lol (also this is based off my own experiences with panic attacks!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

Jimmy knew how much your social anxiety affected your everyday life. You guys actually met when he found you having a panic attack near one of staircases at school and he helped you through it. After that day you guys spent every moment together and eventually started dating.

He kept you together, always noticing the signs before you had one and helping you stay grounded. He’d keep your dates more reserved, kept your relationship lowkey in case you felt nervous about being shown off (as much as he’d love to do that), and even privately live-streamed his shows so you wouldn’t have to be surrounded by strangers to support him.

Maybe it was your anxiety but you felt terrible for never being there even if Jimmy did his best to assure you that he appreciated you no matter how you watched his shows but you were determined to watch him from the audience.

You took a deep breath as your shaky hands opened the door of the club, you were meeting up with Jimmy’s friend group who had graciously let you hangout with them during the show.

You felt how your chest tightened and your breath began to quicken as you walked over to them noticing everyone around you, it was a packed show. Nausea began to overtake you as you reached them, you waved at them and quickly sat down before shallowing hard pushing down the puke you could feel coming up.

“Hey are you okay Y/N?” Tolkien asked concerned, his hand comfortingly rubbing your shoulder. You and Tolkien had become close after you got with Jimmy since they were best friends, eventually he also learned the signs of your panic attacks and often helped you with Jimmy. “Y-yeah I’m fine…” You take another deep breath trying your hardest to calm down. “Hmm, remember I’m here for you okay? We can leave whenever you need” He gave you a soft smile and you nodded.

Your leg bounced rapidly as you waited for Jimmy’s set to start. Clyde had offered to buy you a drink to calm down your nerves but you knew that would only make the overwhelming nausea worse. Tweek and Craig gave you a sympathetic look and offered to take you outside for a breather but you refused. It was hard enough to walk in through those doors the first time you didn’t want to do it again.

You compulsively checked your phone trying to find a distraction, the screen looked blurry from the tears welling up in your eyes. “Shit…” You bit your lip hard as you felt pressure building up in your chest. You hadn’t even been here for an hour, shit Jimmy’s set hadn’t even started and you could already feel the panic running through your veins. “I don’t think I’m gonna make it” Your voice shook as you turned to Tolkien “Do you want me to leave with you?” “N-no, I c-can go by myself” Was the last thing the boys heard before you ran out.

The world felt like it was spinning and everything was blurry as you stepped out trying to find a quiet place to calm down. Chocked out sobs left your lips as you made your way to the alleyway next to the club. You sat with your knees to your chest as you struggled to breathe. You wished your boyfriend was here to comfort you, make you feel safe like he always did but bother him was the last thing you wanted to do especially during a show. Unbeknownst to you the guys had ran backstage to get Jimmy.

“W-w-where are t-they?” Jimmy asked extremely concerned. “We don’t know they just ran out as fast as they could and didn’t want us to follow” Tolkien frowned “I might have an idea of where they are.” Craig chimed in, “There alleyway next to the club is surprisingly quiet and they might have gone to hide there” “How do you know that?” “Shut up Clyde”. Jimmy rolled his eyes before walking out of his dressing room, “Where are you going? What about your show?” Clyde yelled out at Jimmy. “M-m-my partner is m-m-more important t-t-han the show” He yelled back as he walked out.

As he walked out he heard soft cries being muffled from the loudness of the club, that had to be you. “Y-y/n?” He asked walking around to the alleyway, “Jimmy?” You looked up at him through teary eyes, “Yeah it m-me b-b-babe” he made his way over to you and moved your hair from your tear stained face, “Why are you here? What about the show?” “S-s-s-screw the sh-show your more i-important” He sat next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“Im sorry” “Why?” “For ruining your show…” You sniffled. Jimmy gave you a soft smile and pressed a soft kiss to your temple “Y-y-you didn’t r-r-ruin my show,” he chuckled “and I’m p-p-proud of you for every t-t-trying to come w-w-watch me”. You wiped away your tears and smile softly feeling your breathing slowly going back to normal, just having him around could calm you down sometimes and hearing him say how proud he was of you make you feel even better. “Really?” “Of c-c-course b-babe,” Jimmy grinned “how could I n-n-not be?” “I didn’t even make it to your set Jim” you laughed “So? Y-you came to s-s-see me and t-t-thats all that m-matters”

You smile softly and lay your head on his shoulder, “I love you Jimmy”, “I l-l-love you too Y/N” he stroked your hair softly “A-a-and no sh-show will ever b-b-be more important than y-y-you”

“Promise?”

“P-promise”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

To my lovely Jimmy lovers @imm0rtalken @p1f1, give me my kisses

#south park x reader #south park fanfiction #south park x y/n #south park x you #jimmy valmer x you #jimmy valmer x reader #jimmy valmer x y/n

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wipkinz · 1 year

Text

All’s Faire in Love and War

Note: had this idea rattling around my empty head for so long and I hope y’all like it.

Summary: Eddie and girlfriend!reader take a trip to a Renaissance Faire for his birthday. Can Eddie handle his girlfriend looking so Hot Wench™?!

ofc not

Warnings: fingering, oral sex (male rec), semi-public, roleplay if you squint, fem!reader, possible trash, minors DNI

You had been dating Eddie all of six (glorious) months before his birthday arrived. In that time, you had studied and poured over all of his interests. Be it DnD, metal music, fixing up his van, or even his recreational pot smoking, Eddie had a plethora of hobbies to choose from when gift planning. But after spending a couple sick days force feeding him soup while his eyes were glued to the worn pages of his tattered Tolkien books, you had an idea of what he might like.

You had stumbled across an ad in the local paper for a Renaissance faire a few towns over, complete with bards and beers. From what you remembered of his lengthy DnD campaigns, this would be like living the real thing, especially with the outfits you had gathered from various thrift shop hunts.

Giving Eddie the tickets had been one thing. He was downright giddy when you read him out the event details, and grinned ear to ear when unwrapped his costume and you rushed to explain it seemed like something he would be into. Little did you know how into it he would be.

Each day he saw you he was begging to see your costume early. He was practically on his knees to see you in all your wench ware. He pictured you all corseted up, with a gauzy skirt he couldn’t wait to make his way under. Just the idea of it had gotten him through many a night since his birthday.

On the day of the faire you had Eddie pick you up from your place. He had dutifully dressed in his outfit, a white linen shirt that had plenty of chest on display and some tight leather pants tucked into his big black boots.

“Hey Princess,” He smirked as you watched him, slack jawed, “my eyes are up here.”

“Yeah well, I’ve seen your eyes before,” you joked as he started towards the van, “but I’ve never seen your ass in leather pants.”

“Watch it sweetheart,” He pulled open your door as you hopped into the passenger seat, “or I’ll think you’re only with me for my rocking hot bod.”

“Oh but I am” you teased.

Eddie gave you a look before buckling you in.

“When do I get to see yours, Hmm?” He questioned, fingering the collar of your big coat, which covered the costume you had on.

You smacked his hand away playfully, “so soon baby.”

After a long ride you found you way to the faire ground, Eddie was buzzing with the promise of beers and turkey legs. You watched as he dashed around the front of the van -in his leather fucking pants- to open your door for you.

“M’lady” he grinned at you, offering a hand as you stepped down.

“Oh how chivalrous,” you giggled slipping off your coat and handing it to him. “Should I call you Sir?”

When you turned around to catch the eyes of your boyfriend, you realized this may have been a mistake. Eddie was looking at you in a way you had only ever seen in the bedroom, with his mouth parted, his eyes dark, and his cheeks that biteable shade of pink. He stood there taking you in, in your dress and corset you looked straight out of his wildest dreams.

In a daze, Eddie played with the strings of your tie front dress, noting how it strained over your chest.

“You look,” Eddie stuttered, “Fuck, uh wow.”

“Awe” You smirked, pressing up to kiss his cheek. “So eloquent.”

“Well I did hope to flatter the lady,” Eddie grinned as he took a flourished bow.

As the day went on you could tell Eddie was riled up, and ever since the parking lot your goal was to make him give up and haul you back to the van so he could have his way with you.

At the beer stall you sipped a little too vigorously and watched him watch the trail of ale that dribbled down your chin. He gulped down his drink rather quickly and went right back for another.

At the Maypole, he watched you dance around, swishing your skirt and petticoat. The puffed sleeves of your dress had slipped off your shoulders and your face was flushed. When you came back to him at the picnic tables, you noticed he adjusted himself before you perched on his lap. His hand warm where he gripped your hip trough the material of your dress.

At the archery booth you had him show you how to shoot, making sure to press yourself into him. You sighed at the feeling of him half hard against your ass, noticeable even through his leather pants. You shuddered as he brought the bowstring back, his lips ghosting over your ear as he whispered.

“I don’t know if we will be able to make it home Princess.”

It wasn’t until you were in the photo booth, posing together on a throne, when you realized how serious he was. The camera flashed in the private tent as he kissed at your neck.

“Mmm,” you sighed, turning your head to give his lips a full kiss as his arm snaked further around your waist securing you to him. “Eddie we can’t.”

“Fucking need it” he mumbled, pressing his hips up against you. “You see anybody in here?”

It was incredibly hard to open your eyes to scan around the dimly lit tent, you eyes were nearly glazed over as Eddie sucked a new mark into the crook of your neck.

“Mm no,” You answered breathily. “Just you.”

“Yeah that’s right.” Eddie slipped his hand from around you and pulled the strings at the top of your dress loose, the fabric giving way to his searching hands. “just me.”

Caught up in the haze, you barely registered the camera flash again. Eddie had slipped his other hand up under your skirts and had quickly found home over your panties.

You palmed him through his leather pants, and he mimicked the motion over you.

“Anyone could see,” You argued limply, already pliant and willing for him to take you any way he wanted.

“Well then we better hurry up.” Eddie gave your clit a light smack before he manoeuvred you off his lap.

You were on your knees in front of him, fiddling with his heavy metal buckle before he could give a lazy blink. You felt his thighs flex through the leather under your spread fingers as you braced yourself for what was to come. Eddie smirked down at you from his seat on the throne, his thick ring clad fingers coming to the base of your neck.

“Show me how much you want it,” Eddie teased, using his free hand to grip the base of his ruddy cock. You knew your cue was to open up to him, he did not have to ask twice. You licked your lips before letting your tongue reach out to meet his glistening tip. He let the weight of himself hit your tongue once, twice, three times before you took up the offer and sucked him down fully.

“Shit yeah just like that,” Eddie huffed out as he bumped up against the back of your throat. You backed off and gave him a few lazy tugs, blinking slowly up at him with an easy smile. Eddie liked watching your chest bounce with the effort of your strokes, you liked watching his mesmerized gaze follow your every move.

“Like what Sir?” You asked demurely, leaning in to lick a slow fat trail from base to tip.

“Such a tease,” Eddie tisked as you swirled your tongue over his tip, “So worried about people seeing, and -fuck”

Eddie faltered as you took him deep into your throat again, hips bucking and eyes fluttering as you swallowed him down. “Now look who’s putting on a show, huh princess?”

“Mhhmm,” You hummed around him. softly rolling his heavy sack in your manicured fingers. You could feel his pulse through them. He was so so close.

“Best fucking performance of your life.” Eddie admired, stroking your hair as you gazed up at him.

The camera let off its last flash, as Eddie threw his head back, spilling onto your waiting tongue.

You swallowed everything he had, and after cleaning him up slipped him back behind the leather of his pants. After a beat, he pulled you to your feet, kissing your cheek sweetly as he loosely retied the laces of your dress.

“What about you?” Eddie mumbled, pressing a kiss to your temple as you two left the booth. You grabbed the photo strip that was waiting for you at the base of the automatic camera. Each frame showed Eddie quickly losing his mind to the pleasure of his fantasies being brought to life. You could tell through the black and white the blush he had, it matched perfectly with the pink of his lips as they kissed your neck, as they parted when he came.

“I just need a minute alone with these and I’m set for life.” You said as you handed over the amateur porn you had both created. You watched as he tucked the strip into the back pocket of his leather pants. A tight fit.

“Well hopefully not for life.” Eddie grinned, his cheeks staining that pretty shade of pink again.

“Hmm you’re right, maybe just until you get me in the back of ye old chariot then, Sir Munson.” You giggled. You could tell he would all but drag you back to his van if you weren’t tugging him in a different direction. “Come on big guy,” You patted his chest, “let’s go find you a turkey leg.”

Eddie gave you a full teeth smile before bringing his arm around you, kissing the top of your head you could feel his grin. “Best. Birthday. Ever.”

#eddie x fem!reader #eddie smut #eddie munson smut #EDDIE FUCKING MUNSON #ren faire smut #sir eddie #stranger things smut #established relationship #Smut

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