Tumgik
#tolkien shitposts
lesbian-elrond · 2 years
Text
Be he fan or mutual, be he foul or clean,
brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hate watcheth, watching keepeth or afar streameth The Tolkien LOTR Amazon show. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day's ending, woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the holy mountain hear in witness
and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!
88 notes · View notes
madame-helen · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
46K notes · View notes
Tumblr media
26K notes · View notes
autistook · 11 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
theidlespoon · 3 months
Text
nothing, just tolkien originally writing down the hobbit because his son christopher kept complaining that he'd change the details from night to night and then christopher later being so crucial in taking tolkien's notes and turning them into fully written novels of worldbuilding. loving someone to the point of creation and then having them help you finish the job.
2K notes · View notes
catsandcatci · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
had a revelation
1K notes · View notes
shittierpost · 4 months
Text
The way Gimli went from elves can go fuck themselves to "..if all the fair folk take to the Havens, it will be a duller world for those who are doomed to stay" is insane
1K notes · View notes
Text
elrond sipping his tea: how nice of you to join me for breakfast, thranduil. it’s certainly been a while hasn’t it. you remember bilbo, the hobbit from like seventy years ago? he has a kid now. i know you would just love frodo
thranduil:
thranduil: elrond, where’s my son
9K notes · View notes
captaintalon · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
mushroomates · 8 months
Text
the fellowship at fancy restaurants:
aragorn: literally would not care if he ate gas station sushi at a truckstop, does not see the appeal of fancy but appreciates the atmosphere. likes taking arwen out for fancy food, great at scouting out the genuinely good places, not just the expensive ones.
boromir: will fight you over paying the check. his current move is pretend to go to the bathroom, stop by the concierge’s desk and drop off his credit card there. always gets some sort of steak.
merry: deceptively well mannered. is polite and well spoken. offers to foot the bill (rich parents) but it’s an empty gesture cuz my man doesn’t carry a wallet on him 90% of the time.
pippin: gets like 80 appetizers and dessert. eats a little off of everyone’s plate. likes to order of the “secret menu” and enjoys french fries at every fine dining establishment regardless if they are offered to begin with.
frodo: very polite, has a hard time deciding what he wants. ends up getting several things and either sharing it with sam or giving the rest of it to pippin. all hobbits are incapable of bringing home leftovers.
sam: makes frodo order for him cuz he’s worried he will mess up the fancy names. fuckin loves him some fancy potatoes. takes a pic of the menu and tries to re-create it at home, 9/10 times it’s better than what the restaurant has.
legolas: eats the garnish. orders fancy cocktails and then will lick the salt rim off, eat the lemon, or the entire whole cherry, stem and all. likes to get pretty salads and sometimes will requests dressing on the side but not even use the dressing.
gimli: fantastic tipper. will fight with boromir about who pays the bill. has great table manners. will ask staff for recommendations and just order what they tell him to. not a picky eater, even if he hates it he will finish it all.
gandalf: shows up an hour, hour and a half, late. asks for servers to “surprise him” pays in cash, leaves whatever number feels right of hundreds on the table and heads out before the bill comes. he has been known to both dine and dash as well as tip 80%.
3K notes · View notes
mrkida-art · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
Bagginshield
2K notes · View notes
grondds-and-roses · 5 months
Text
You are in the house of Elrond. And it is ten o’clock in the morning, on October the twenty-fourth btw. If you even care
787 notes · View notes
todayontumblr · 3 months
Text
Monday, December 18.
Willkommen.
History was made on this day, twenty years ago. The last installment in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King, was released in cinemas. It grossed over $1.1 billion worldwide, making it the second highest-grossing film of all time. It won all eleven Oscars for which it was nominated, including Best Picture (the first fantasy to do so), at the 76th Academy Awards. The sequel to 2002's The Two Towers, and the completion of the story started by The Fellowship of the Ring, it was a cinematic landmark and a pop culture behemoth. Like its two predecessors, the film was widely acclaimed by critics and loved by audiences across the globe. But they were, all of them, deceived—for another film was made.
In 2004, Dominic Monaghan, the actor alias used by renowned German film critic Hans Jensen, interviewed the trilogy's star, Elijah Wood. In these nine bracing minutes of footage, Mr. Jensen probed his interviewee on the matters of the day: losing time within yourself, kicking balls, dolphins, and the wearing of wigs. It makes for quite remarkable viewing almost two decades later.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
runawaymun · 3 months
Text
I know Tolkien said elves have leaf-shaped ears but did he ever specify what kind of leaves?
Tumblr media
413 notes · View notes
autistook · 3 months
Text
I did the funniest thing
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
682 notes · View notes
Text
If The Silmarillion was a Jane Austen novel, I think it'd be called Immortality & Immorality
783 notes · View notes