#to which then she said she was proud of me

[leah-lover]

Entangled desires. Leah Williamson x Alexia putellas x reader.

Part 1

“ Fuck me!” You semi yelled at your TV.

“Only if you beg me for it.” Said your girlfriend with a smirk on her face. You were both laying on the couch. She was laying on your lap reading a book, while you were watching the Arsenal vs Chelsea game. Chelsea have just broke through the backline and scored a goal. In their defense the goal was pretty incredible, but you hated that your team got scored against.

“ I would love for you to fuck me amor but not now, I am too busy “ you joked. “You have been stressed for about 50 minutes now. I think you need a release.” She said sarcastically, The book is now laying on her chest. “ Mi Reina, this game is so important for my sanity right now.” you respond. She didn't talk after that, she just turned on her side, her head still on your lap. She put the book aside and focused on the game.

The rest of the match was pretty exciting. There were some missed shots from both teams, a goal from Arsenal, some decent shot blocks from the Arsenal defense, and just overall a lot of tension. Alexia stood up from your lap by the time the final whistle blew. She was alert and satisfied. You were more than happy with Chelsea's defeat since you were a die hard Arsenal supporter. As a result, in celebration, you kissed your girlfriend. The kiss was soft and filled with passion. You then pushed Alexia on her back, straddled her lap and kissed her hard. You didn't want any space between you two. You were hungry for her, needy for her, all you wanted was her touch. The adrenaline from the game took over your body. Suddenly, it all went away and was replaced by tiredness. “ It's okay baby it happens.” She confronted you because you pulled out of the kiss and sighed loudly.

“ I am so sorry.” You apologized. “ Let's go cook dinner instead. Then we can finish later.” She added, a small smile on her face.

At the dinner table you sat opposite each other. You were both comfortable in the silence.

“ That arsenal defense was really good today.” She said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, most of them are lionesses, so they are pretty good.” You answer.

“ Leah Williamson, the center back, is the captain of England right?”

“ She is the captain, she also captained the team today. She is pretty good.”

“ She was excellent today, made some pretty good deflections.”

“ And?”

“ What do you mean?.”

“ Mi Reina, tell me what you think.”

“ Well she is kind of attractive I guess. If you tell this to someone you won't like your punishment.”

“ Baby relax,I won't. I promise. Now let's go finish what we started after the game.”

“ What do you think about her?”

“ Leah ? Well I agree with you she is hot.”

—----------------

Tonight was one of the best nights of the year. The fifa best awards. This night was special because you were being awarded the best female player in the world which made you very proud of yourself. You were also proud of your girlfriend who made it into the best starting 11 in the world along with you and a few legends of the game.

You and Alexia got ready in the same room. You decided on an emerald green corseted dress that highlighted your chest and your brown hair. Alexia decided on an all black 3 piece suit paired with a red lip and her hair down.

The day leading to the ceremony had nothing out of the ordinary. You did your media duties, got ready, and left for the red carpet.

You and Alexia looked like a power couple, all the cameras were on you two, two of the most awarded and talented footballers. The ceremony was no different either. Kelley Smith presented you with your award and you thanked the most important people in your life in your speech. You talked to a few people but that was it. All the fun started at the after party.

While you were at the bar getting drinks your girlfriend was far from you talking to some people.

“Can I get two vodka sodas please?” You asked the bartender.

“Can you please make that tree?” Said a British voice from behind you. You turned around to find that the voice was Leah's.

“ Vodka soda is the athlete's best choice of drink right? ?“ she asked.

“ I guess so.” you respond.

“ I am Leah Williamson.” She added.

“ I know who you are. You are pretty recognizable.”

“ Not as much as the woman of the hour. Congrats on your award by the way. Spanish football is lucky to have you.”

You blushed at her words, that's when your drinks were ready. You wanted to talk to her more.

“ Why don't you join me and Alexia at our table?.” You asked hoping to get a yes

“Only for a little while I have my own people to tend to.” She responded.

You proceeded to guid Leah to your table. On your way there you passed alexia who said goodbye to the people she was with to join you too.

“ Ale this is Leah williamson. Leah, this is my lovely girlfriend Alexia.” you introduced the girls.

“ It's very nice to meet you alexia. We should have met a long time ago.” said Leah

“ I am glad we met too. How are you finding the night.” said Alexia. You knew your girlfriend well to know when she is nervous and right now she was clearly nervous, other people wouldn't spot it very well.

“ it's pretty boring actually. This is the most exciting thing that happened tonight.” responded Leah.

Your relationship with Alexia was common knowledge. However, Leah was flirting with the both of you for the better part of the hour and a half that Leah stayed with you. Throughout this time you talked about everything from football to your childhood. Several compliments and flirtatious attempts were made by all 3 of you. Leah’s phone was ringing for most of the time but she didn't answer. She then got a text saying that her teammates left and that she should go to the hotel because the party venue was almost empty. You didn't realise the time that passed, you were too immersed in the fun all of you were having. You were sitting on a couch, Alexia’s hand on your thighs occasionally caressing them, and Leah sat opposite you on a chair.

“ I can't believe they left without me.” she complained.

“ Well they did call you several times but you blew them off.” you responded.

“ but still how am i supposed to talk to them and miss out a second with you two.”

“ You can come with us. We are staying at the same hotel right?” suggested Alexia.

“ yeah but I don't want to intrude.���

“ nonsense, consider it an extension of this lovely night.” you added.

You then got out of the venue. You held Alexia’s hand while Leah walked to your other side.

The car ride was quiet. “ I would kill for a burger right now.” you whispered in your girlfriend’s ear because you were nuzzled in her neck. She then ushered for the driver to change direction to the nearest fast food chain.

“ one quick stop before we release you.” you apologized to leah running you hand on her thigh quickly.

“ No, not at all. I really want this to go on forever.” she responded.

The car stopped, you got your order, Leah and Alexia got a meal too after you provoked your puppy eyes.

You were now blissful on the hotel floor, and eating your burger with Leah Williamson and Alexia putellas. You were focused more on leah than on your burger.

“ shit i dont have my key card. I left it with Keira. God i am such a fucking idiot. ” she said after she finished.

“ Don't ever say that about yourself.” said Alexia who was quieter than usual.

“ what she means is it's fine you can stay here. it's too late to wake her up.” you corrected.

“ No, I can't do that .” she said frantically.

“ Yes you can and you will. It's too late to do anything. Plus we can hang out more. And we can put it to a vote and we both want you here.” said alexia before taking the last bite of her burger.

“ Alexia I can't. There is something. I just can't.” she said before heading towards the door.

Alexia got up and stopped her by her wrist. “ Look, it's alright, stay. Please. “ she said softly.

“ alexia almost never says please.” you added.

“ There is this unresolved tension in me. I can't hide it anymore.” she added, now looking at the floor.

Alexia lifted her head up by her chin, and at that moment we were all nervous. We all shared a look with each other, then looked at the floor, then at each other again. The silence was deafening. We all were thinking the same thing. It was just the matter of who starts.

#leah williamson #leah williamson imagine #leah × reader #leah williamson smut #alexia putellas fic #alexia putellas smut #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #alexia x reader #woso request #woso smut #woso couples #woso fanfics #woso #woso community #woso imagine #woso x reader #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #awfc #barca femeni

[leahsgf]

bouquets

leah williamson x fem!reader

in which leah, famous hater of tiktok joins in on a trend, for you.

one thing about your girlfriend that not many people knew - is that she is secretly an absolute dork, through and through. her signature frown and grumpy expression when she focused, meant that not only was she endlessly teased by you for it, and jokingly reminded that if the wind blew she’d be stuck like that - but also that she gained a reputation for being very serious, and rarely showing her emotions, particularly on the pitch.

you however, and anyone who had the pleasure of getting to see her behind closed doors, and truly knowing her - knew that that was the furthest thing from the truth.

which, is what led you to now.

you’d been sprawled almost flat on top of her in bed for what had felt like hours on end, your favourite place to be on the rare occasion that you both had a day off, when an unusual silence settled between the two of you.

unusual, in the sense that these private moments between the pair of you were usually filled by leah’s rambles about anything and everything, a narration of every single thought that had remained unspoken over the time she wasn’t with you.

“what are you doing?” you protested, breaking the silence and grumbling into the crook of your neck, not even a millisecond after her fingers stopped trailing through your hair.

“nothing, grouchy! just trying to figure out this stupid thing. bloody tiktok i swear! i don’t know how you and the girls love it so much, makes no sense!” she waved her phone in the air, eyebrows furrowing and that frown deepening - but her fingers instantly resuming their actions in your hair, causing you to slump once more.

“wait babe why are you on tiktok! you hate tiktok!” the realisation hit you rather slowly due to your state, your mind flashing back to the what must be hundreds of times that you begged her to do a cute video with you - only to be met with a rant about how much she despised the app.

“oi! mind your business. you’ll see! just need some patience my girl!” she chuckled, bopping you on the nose as she tilted her screen just out of your eyes’ reach.

to say you were confused was a major understatement. you knew you could’ve seen her screen if you really wanted to, your position on top of her giving you a rare power.

one that you knew not to test, however. so, you let yourself shrug off her strange behaviour and settle back into her, being pulled in by the addictiveness that was her skin, and her scent.

“there! done!” she pushed her phone into your face, so suddenly it almost made you jump.

and what faced you, confused you almost as much as when it was hidden from you.

it was her lockscreen. a new one, replacing the picture of the two of you.

a bouquet of flowers.

they were cute, undeniably. dainty little illustrated cartoon flowers, in a variety of colours and styles, put together in a bouquet - in the middle of a plain background.

but not enough to match the shit eating, proud yet almost shy grin that was spread across her lips.

“it’s….cute? lee i don’t get why you’re showing me this though?” your frown mirrored her previous one, confusion visible all over your face that made her giggle, and prod at your flushing cheek.

“look silly girl, it’s some trend on tiktok that beth showed me. there’s a flower for each letter of the alphabet, and people have been putting them together and spelling out their partner’s names to make a little bouquet and i thought it was cute, okay!” she said, almost sheepishly - looking away from you as you sat up, grinning.

“you’re so cute oh my god.” you peppered kisses all over her face, ignoring her protests.

“the team cannot hear about this. kay? i’m their captain, i have a reputation to uphold!” she met your lips in a kiss, almost immediately proving her own point wrong.

“i think everyone knows how much of a dork you are baby i’m afraid, we’re way past that point!”

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #lionesses x reader #lionesses #woso x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc #based on that one tiktok trend that had me crying in single #i can just imagine her hating tiktok i don’t know why it fits it just does #something silly instead of writing my assignments

[queenshelby]

Sweet Possession (Part 3)

Pairing: Very Dark! Thomas Shelby (32) x Innocent! Reader (19)

Warning: Age Gap, Smut

Later that day, just as you were waiting for your husband to return home, you couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety  in your stomach as you thought back to your strange encounter at the Italian grocer earlier that day.

The way the man's eyes had flickered down to the gun hidden beneath Isiah's jacket, before quickly averting his gaze. The memory sent a shiver down your spine and you couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

Despite that, you quickly put those thoughts aside as you heard Tommy’s footsteps carrying through the door of Arrow House.

You glanced at the clock hanging in the hallway, realizing that it was already shortly after eight o’clock in the evening.

Thomas walked into the reading room where you were sitting, nursing a glass of wine, the dinner you prepared waiting in the oven to stay warm. He was, still wearing his coat and looked somewhat tired. 

"I am sorry I am late , Love," he greeted you, dropping a quick kiss on your forehead.

"Is everything alright?" you asked your husband, concern etched in your voice as you gazed into his tired eyes. You noticed that there were faint lines around his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

"Yes , everything's fine," Thomas assured you, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, trying not to let your suspicions get the better of you.

"Good. I'll go and serve dinner then," you said, standing up from the sofa and making your way into the kitchen but, just as you stood up, you noticed some red blood stains on the collar of his shirt which he was clearly trying to hide by leaving on his coat.

Nonetheless, you decided not to address it, giving Thomas a reassuring smile before you walked off.

"I should have a shower first, Love. It has been a long day," Thomas told you truthfully in passing, his voice still low but there was a lilt to it, like he was keeping something from you.

"That's fine. Just come down when you are ready," you called after him from the hallway and he gave you a quick nod and a smile before disappearing upstairs.

Minutes later...

The dinner that you had prepared was delicious. The meat had cooked to tender perfection and the rich, earthy flavor of the mushrooms you had picked from the forest earlier that week complemented the dish beautifully. The aroma alone was enough to make your mouth water.

Carefully, you removed the dish from the oven and set it on the table in the nearby dining room, lighting the candles that you had arranged in its center. You had always loved setting a nice table, believing that food always tasted better when it was presented beautifully.

You had spent many hours as a young girl watching your mother, a talented cook, prepare meals for your family. Now, you were proud to use the skills she had taught you.

You had just finished setting the table when Thomas walked into the dining room, his dark hair still damp from his shower. He was wearing a clean white shirt and dark trousers, looking both comfortable and sophisticated. His face was free of stubble and his eyes sparkled with warmth as he looked at you.

"Something smells good," he commented, walking over to where you stood by the table and giving you a kiss.

You blushed, always feeling a little shy when Thomas praised you. 

"Thank you," you responded, making a small curtsy before taking your seat at the table. Thomas chuckled, sitting down across from you and reaching for the glass of whiskey you had already placed in front of him, knowing how much he enjoyed a drink as he dug into the food. 

"I enjoy cooking. In fact, I was thinking about doing some work at the local orphanage. The children there could really do with some decent meals , and it would give me a chance to feel useful," you told Tommy as you served yourself up some food as well, never enjoying the maids doing it for you. 

Thomas raised an eyebrow at this, studying you closely. "You want to work at the orphanage?"

You nodded, taking a sip of your wine. "Yes. I know how much you support local charities and causes. You're always helping people in need, and I want to do my part too."

Thomas smiled at this, a genuine warmth in his eyes. "That's very thoughtful of you, Love. I'm sure the children will appreciate it," Thomas replied, gazing at you with a softness that made your heart flutter. "But remember, Love, the world can be a dangerous place for a young woman and you, of all people, should know that, eh." 

"It's an orphanage, Tommy. It's not the Garrison," you chuckled, recalling the night he had saved you from a less than favorable situation.  Thomas cocked an eyebrow, his face growing serious.

"I know that, Love. But even so," he began to say, before trailing off, collecting his thoughts. "I will send Isiah with you," he then said, shaking his head and you stared at Thomas for a moment, surprised at the intensity of his words. It was clear that he was deeply concerned for your safety, and you couldn't help but feel touched by his protective nature.

"You are always so worried about me ," you told him with a soft smile, reaching across the table to take his hand in yours. He met your gaze with a steady one of his own and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's my job to worry about you, Love," Thomas replied, his voice low and earnest. "You're my wife, and I want to keep you safe."

The two of you finished the rest of the meal in relative silence, the only sounds being the soft clinking of silverware against china and the occasional sip of whiskey or wine.

Thomas watched you closely, his gaze warm and affectionate. He had always been a protective man, although sometimes his methods could be a little unconventional. But you knew that in his heart, he always had your best interests at heart.

As you finished your meal and pushed your plate away, Thomas leaned back in his chair and gave you a small smile. "I have something I want to show you," he said, his voice low and mysterious.

You raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued. "What is it?" you asked and Thomas smiled, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"It's a surprise, Love," he said, standing up from his chair and offering you his hand. "Come on, I'll show you."

You took his hand and let him lead you out of the dining room and down the hallway to his study. The room was dimly lit, with only a single lamp casting a soft glow over the large wooden desk that dominated the space. Thomas closed the door behind you and crossed over to the desk, reaching for something behind it.

It was then that you noticed a large painting leaning against the wall, wrapped in thick brown paper.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" You asked, unable to hide the excitement in your voice. Thomas chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Patience, Love," he murmured, carefully unwrapping the painting to reveal an exquisite work of art. It was a portrait of you , a stunningly accurate depiction of your likeness, down to the last detail. Your eyes were wide with surprise as you took in the image of yourself, feeling a little self-conscious under Thomas' intense gaze.

"It's beautiful," you breathed, reaching out to touch the canvas. The brushstrokes were delicate and precise, capturing the softness of your skin and the warmth of your smile. You had never seen anything quite like it before.

"I had it commissioned as a wedding present," Thomas explained, his eyes never leaving your face.

"I wanted something to celebrate the woman you are, and the woman you're becoming."

His words sent a rush of warmth through you, filling your heart with a sense of love and pride. You had never felt so cherished, so adored. It was an incredible feeling, one that left you breathless and overwhelmed.

You stood there, hand still resting on the painting, heart pounding in your chest as you looked into Thomas' eyes. You could see the raw desire burning in his gaze, the hunger that told you he wanted you as badly as you wanted him.

"This is the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me," you whispered, your breath hitching as Thomas stepped closer to you.

His hand reached out, gently grasping a tendril of your hair, and he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

"And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," Thomas growled, his breath hot against your skin.

Your heart raced as he pulled you towards him, his lips crashing down onto yours in a passionate kiss that left you breathless.

"Tommy ," you gasped, your voice barely audible as his hands roamed over your body, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist before cupping your breasts over your dress.

"Yes, Love?" Thomas murmured against your lips, his thumb teasing your nipples through the fabric until they hardened beneath his touch.

You moaned softly, arching your back into his touch as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with yours in a dance that was both familiar and thrilling.

Your hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer as the hunger inside of you grew stronger.

"I want you, Tommy," you whispered hoarsely, your breath hot against his ear.

Thomas responded with a growl, his hands tugging at your dress until it slid down to your feet, leaving you standing there in nothing but your lacy underwear.

"Fuck, you are so beautiful," Thomas groaned, taking a step back to drink in the sight of you. "And you are mine," he added possessively, reaching out to trace the curve of your hip with his fingertips.

You shivered at his touch, feeling a pulse of desire low in your belly. You had never felt so desired, so wanted before. It was intoxicating.

"Yes, I'm yours," you whispered, reaching out to touch him in turn. Your hands found their way to his belt, the metal buckle cool against your skin as you undid it and slid it free from its loops.

Thomas groaned as you began to undo the buttons of his trousers, revealing the hard length of his cock beneath.

"Fuck, Love," Thomas gasped, his voice barely above a whisper as you wrapped your hand around him, feeling the velvety softness of his skin beneath your fingertips.

You pulled him forward, pressing your lips to his collarbone and trailing kisses down his chest as you unbuttoned his shirt and sank to your knees before him all at the same time.

The scent of him was musky and intoxicating, and you couldn't resist the urge to take him into your mouth.

"I have never done this before," you confessed, looking up at him with shy, yet eager eyes.

Thomas' expression softened at the admission, his hand reaching out to gently caress your cheek. "I know , Love," he murmured. "I'll guide you." And with those words, you opened your mouth eagerly, waiting for him to make the first move.

Your tongue darted out, teasing his tip and tasting his pre-cum as it leaked out. Thomas moaned deeply, his fingers tangling in your hair as he guided you to take him deeper, urging you to taste more of him.

You complied eagerly, exploring every inch of him with your mouth as Thomas thrust gently into your throat. Your hands wandered up to his toned ass, pulling him closer as you sucked and licked with abandon.

Thomas' breath hitched as you drew back, gasping for air before sliding back down on him once more.

"Good girl ," Thomas grunted, guiding your head back down onto him.

You could feel the trembling in his legs as you worked him with your mouth, the intensity of his pleasure building to a peak.

"I'm going to cum, Love," Thomas warned, his voice low and strained. "Do you think you can swallow it?" Thomas asked, his voice tight with anticipation. You looked up at him, eyes wide, and nodded eagerly.

"Good girl," he praised you before grabbing a fistful of your hair and pumping his hips faster.

You worked your mouth up and down his shaft, feeling the throbbing of his cock intensify until finally, Thomas thrust deep into your throat and held it there as he came hard. You tried to swallow as much of him as you could, feeling the hot streams of cum coat your tongue before spilling out of the corners of your mouth.

You felt a sense of pride wash over you as you took it all in, Thomas's hips still thrusting as he emptied himself into your willing mouth.

Finally, with one last gasp, Thomas pulled out, his cock sliding free from your mouth with a wet, sucking sound. You looked up at him with a sense of accomplishment and longing, unable to tear your eyes away from the sight of him.

Thomas reached down and gently brushed a stray lock of hair out of your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek for a moment.

His eyes were soft, filled with love and admiration. You blushed under his gaze, feeling both proud and self-conscious at the same time.

"God, you're beautiful," Thomas murmured, his voice raw with emotion. "And so fucking sexy."

Your blush deepened at the compliment, but you didn't look away. Instead, you reached up and took his hand in yours, bringing it to your lips for a gentle kiss. Thomas smiled at the gesture, his thumb tracing idle patterns on your skin as he looked down at you with a hunger that made your heart race.

"Come here," he growled, his voice low and commanding. "I want to feel you."

You stood up, stepping closer to Thomas as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the evidence of your earlier efforts still slick against your thighs. The combined scent of him and of yourself left you heady, intoxicated by the smell of raw, unbridled sexuality.

His mouth found yours again, his lips claiming yours in a bruising kiss that left you breathless and trembling in his arms.

"I always wanted you to do things to me, on this big desk of yours," you giggled nervously  , your eyes sparkling with mischief.

Thomas's grin deepened, his hands roaming your body with a possessiveness that made you shiver.

"Then what are you waiting for, Love?" He murmured, his voice low and seductive.

You didn't need any more encouragement than that. Within seconds, you had pulled your underwear down your legs and climbed up onto the desk, positioning yourself so that your ass was right at the edge.

"So fucking perfect ," Thomas growled, his eyes burning with desire as he took in the sight of you spread out before him, ready and willing.

You felt a rush of heat flood your body, the thought of being so exposed heightening your arousal to new heights.

Thomas reached out, his hands tracing the curve of your waist before moving up to cup your breasts. His thumbs brushed over your nipples, sending pulses of pleasure straight to your core.

You moaned softly, arching your back and pressing yourself into his touch.

Thomas' mouth found yours again, his lips silencing your cries as his fingers continued to tease your nipples.

"You like that, Love?" Thomas asked, his voice low and sultry.

"Yes," you gasped, your breath hitching as he rolled your nipples between his fingers. "Please, Thomas."

Thomas grinned at the plea, his fingers leaving your breasts to trace a path down your stomach and towards the apex of your thighs.

"God, you're so fucking wet for me," Thomas groaned against your mouth, his fingers brushing through your folds before delving deep within you.

You gasped, your back arching off the desk as Thomas began to thrust his fingers in and out of you. Each stroke hit a spot deep within you, driving you wild with pleasure.

"Please Love, let me cum inside you ," Thomas groaned, his breath hot against your ear.

"No , I- I can't," you gasped, feeling the familiar fluttering deep within your belly.

"Please ," Thomas begged as, finally, he aligned himself with your wetness and thrust into you with one swift push, but you knew that if you let Thomas cum inside of you, there was a chance you could end up pregnant. And with your life the way it was, the last thing you needed right now was a child.

You shook your head, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps as your husband bottomed out inside of you.

God, he felt amazing. But you knew that this was as far as you could go.\

"I am sorry," you whispered, your breath hitching as Thomas began to thrust his hips against yours, driving himself in deep and hard. "I-I can't. I'm sorry."

But Thomas seemed to understand.

"It's alright, Love," he murmured, brushing a stray curl from your face with a tender hand. "I'll just make a mess instead," he chuckled in between groans as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Your nails dug into the desk, your breath coming in ragged gasps as Thomas's hips snapped against yours, his cock hitting that delicious spot inside of you.

"Fuck, yes," you gasped, your pelvis bucking to meet his thrusts. "Harder."

Thomas growled at the demand and obliged, his cock pounding into you with bruising force. You cried out, throwing your head back and bracing yourself against the onslaught of pleasure.

Thomas's thrusts became erratic, his breaths coming in short panting gasps.

"Fuck, I'm close Love," he groaned, his fingers digging into the skin of your hips.

You nodded frantically, feeling your own pleasure coiling deep within you. "Yes, yes," you gasped, your body trembling with anticipation as your own orgasm built within you.

Your nails dug into the surface of the desk even harder now as Thomas continued to drive into you with an almost brutal force. Each thrust sent a shockwave of pleasure coursing through your body, your breasts bouncing in time with each stroke.

"Yes, Tommy! Oh god , I'm gonna cum!" You screamed as your orgasm tore through your body like a tidal wave, leaving you breathless and trembling beneath him.

Thomas's thrusts became erratic as he too, found his release, his hot seed filling the air around you as he pulled out and used his hand to finish the job.

You collapsed back onto the desk, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Thomas leaned over you, his arms braced on either side of your head as he caught his own breath.

"Fuck, Love," he groaned before, suddenly, you were being interrupted by one of the maids.

The sound of a knock on the door broke through your haze of pleasure, and Thomas quickly pulled away from you with an annoyed expression on his face. You each gathered your clothes and Thomas barked, not bothering to conceal his irritation at being interrupted in the middle of such an intimate moment.

The maid, a young girl with mousy brown hair and a pinched expression on her face, looked at the ground as she spoke, knowing exactly what you had been doing, 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but there's a matter that needs your immediate attention."

Thomas sighed heavily and rubbed his temples with his fingers. he asked, his voice clipped and impatient.

"It's the new shipment of whiskey, sir," the maid replied nervously. "The delivery driver says it was damaged during transport, and he refuses to hand it over until you inspect it yourself."

The maid's statement caught Tommy by surprise. "Y/N, go upstairs!" he ordered you in a way he had not spoken to you before.

"Excuse me?" you asked, annoyed with the way Thomas had spoken to you. You were still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm and, frankly, the last thing you wanted was him to snap at you like this. It was unlike him. 

Thomas let out a long-suffering sigh. "I am sorry Y/N. I shouldn't have spoken to you like this, but I need you to go upstairs and stay there. Please," he added as an afterthought, his voice softening.

"Fine ," you muttered, annoyance tingeing your voice as you slid off the desk and started to pull your panties back on, pulling them up beneath your dress. 

You couldn't help but feel irritated at the interruption, even more so at the tone Thomas had used with you. 

But you shook it off, reminding yourself that Thomas wasn't like that. He cared for you deeply, and you cared for him just as much. Maybe he was just having a stressful day.

When you arrived in the bedroom you shared with Tommy now however, you couldn't help but wonder what was really going on. A whiskey delivery at 10 o'clock seemed absurd and, with that in mind, you pulled aside the curtains and peaked out of the window .

Tommy was already standing outside, talking to a somewhat scary looking truck driver. But something was off. Tommy looked tense, his shoulders rigid and his expression stern.

The driver seemed to be making wild gestures, his hands waving around erratically as he spoke. And then, you saw it when the stranger opened one of the boxes on the back of his truck.

Inside there was no whiskey however, but instead, you saw something black, something that looked like rifles. A lot of rifles.  Your mind raced as you tried to make sense of what you were seeing. Was this some kind of arms deal? And if so, why would Thomas be involved in something like that?

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#cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #peaky blinders #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy

[feybarn]

I'm not going in any specific order, just in the order in which these prompts nudge at me. This one is from @bolithesenate. Not entirely sure this is what you were imagining... the crime got replaced by Dooku being... Dooku-y and judgmental. It also got a little longer than planned... But I kind of want to play with Komari and Obi-Wan some more... so maybe???

*tosses Komari & Obi or Rael & Obi as Master-Padawan pairs here and runs away real quick*. I just like imagining the total chaos these would bring. Especially the Komari & Obi,,,, what crimes would they commit.

Yan stared down at the tiny thing—an initiate in pristine white tunics, staring up at him with wide, guileless eyes—in front of him. “What is this, Komari?” he asked, edging away.

“My new padawan,” his apprentice informed him, tone nearly belligerent.

Yan sent her his most censuring look, but Komari didn’t quail or retreat. Instead her jaw jutted out in sheer obstinance. It was… unusual. Komari had always been nearly desperate to keep him happy with her, but in this moment, such thoughts seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind.

“You are a padawan,” he informed her. “And still several years away from your knighting.” He glanced back at the—oh Force—child, who was still watching him silently, those wide eyes making Yan entirely uncomfortable.

“Well, he will be my padawan,” Komari informed him, not even the slightest bit deterred. “His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I found him and a padawan crawling through the air ducts trying to get into the kitchens.” She sounded disgustingly proud. “I’m going to teach him how to do it better.”

Yan wanted to know what, exactly, Komari had been doing investigating the air ducts, but decided that was a lesser concern at the moment. “And where is this other initiate?”

“Quinlan’s a padawan, Master Dooku,” the initiate corrected him. “Master Tholme took him on as soon as he turned ten.”

Tholme. Tholme was from Qui-Gon’s creche clan, he remembered. A Shadow. Yan had heard that he’d taken on some sort of rapscallion apprentice, but he hadn’t had a reason to be introduced. “And how old are you?” Yan asked the initiate.

The initiate shifted on his feet a little. No sense of confidence, Yan diagnosed. They’d have to do something about that. 

Force, no, there would be no doing something about anything. Because this was not Komari’s future padawan. 

“Eight,” the initiate told him.

Five years until the child was thirteen. It was possible that Komari would be knighted by then. But highly unlikely.

Yan narrowed his eyes at the child, who didn’t look away. Perhaps he didn’t lack confidence entirely; Yan was aware that many of the younger generations considered him… intimidating. An impression he had done nothing to try to alleviate.

“Well, Initiate Kenobi, I’m afraid that Komari is mistaken. She will be returning you to the Initiate Quarters immediately.” He turned his gaze on Komari, making certain that it was perfectly clear that he would not take her insubordination on this matter.

Komari glared at him, but wrapped an arm around the Initiate’s shoulders. “Come on, Obi-Wan. I’ll take you back to the Initiate Quarters. For now.”

Yan shook his head as she left with the initiate in tow.

Her future padawan indeed. Yan thought not.

5 years later

“Where is Knight Vosa?” Yan asked, searching through the ranks of Jedi. Galidraan’s air was cold against his skin where his robes did not protect him. They were preparing to approach the Mandalorian encampment with orders to surrender, but he could not find his former apprentice.

Knight Thriff winced. “Uh, the padawan said something about a bad feeling?” Thriff said. “Knight Vosa decided they needed to investigate. They left before dawn. No one knows where they went.”

Yan had not expected for Komari to be knighted so soon, but finding Initiate Kenobi five years ago had lit a fire inside of her that he hadn’t been able to temper. She’d been determined to be knighted in time to take Initiate Kenobi on.

She had dedicated herself so entirely to her training that Yan had run out of reasons to keep from Knighting her three months before the boy’s thirteenth birthday. She had arrived at the Council Chamber the day after her knighting with Kenobi in tow and the first bead already picked out for his braid.

The council had agreed unanimously to allow the partnership, despite Yan’s own concerns on the matter. Mace had actually gone so far as to tell him that the shatterpoint between the two of them was bright and beautiful and that Mace expected great things from them.

He had not wanted her to bring her new padawan with them to potentially fight Mandalorians. But Komari had been adamant that she wasn’t leaving him behind at the temple.

His comlink chimed.

He pulled it from his utility belt. “Master Dooku,” he answered curtly. 

“Master.” That was Komari’s voice. “There’s a second encampment of Mandalorians in the southern quarter to blame for the death of the civilians in this quarter,” she informed him. “Death Watch.”

“How do you know this?” he asked, surprised. “We had no intel—“

“Well, Obi-Wan and I found the intel,” Komari said. “I’ve left Obi-Wan with the True Mandalorians—“

Horror filled him. “You what?”

“—Fett and I are investigating this second encampment. I’ve negotiated a temporary truce between our group and his.”

”You—“

“See you soon, Master.” The comm call cut out.

Yan felt the wind curl around him as it blew. He was not sure whether it was that or the sense that Komari was falling further and further from his reach that sent the chill down his back.

“Your Master is going to be okay,” Mand’alor Fett comforted a shaking Padawan Kenobi where the boy hovered over Komari’s sleeping form. Yan stood a few steps away, staring down at his unconscious former padawan, bacta patches over her side where a slug thrower had ripped into her.

Yan knew that it was likely his responsibility to comfort his grandpadawan, but he had never been good at comforting. Nor could he bring himself to do so when it was, in many ways, young Padawan Kenobi’s fault that Komari had been hurt.

If she had just listened to Yan and left the boy at the temple… But no, the boy had run into the battle against Death Watch despite orders to stay out of it.

“She’s a fighter,” Fett continued.

“It’s my fault. I should have stayed out, like she told me, too,” Kenobi whispered.

“You should have,” Fett agreed, not bothering to soften that blow. “Kyr’tsad isn’t the place for an ad, but you saved Myles’ and Alena’s lives. We won’t forget that.” Fett rested a hand on Kenobi’s shoulder. “You were trying to protect people, your Master is going to be proud of you for that.” He stood from his kneeling position. “Come on, I told Vosa that I’d keep you safe until you were off planet. Let’s see what we can do about teaching you to use a blaster in the time we have left.”

Yan watched as Fett led a reluctant Padawan Kenobi away. Yan looked down at his former apprentice. He remembered when she had been entirely devoted to him. But that hadn’t been the case in nearly five years. Now her devotion lay elsewhere. Yan had never thought he’d yearn for those days. But at least then, she’d have listened to his words of caution.

Still, perhaps she would listen now, when he cautioned her about her padawan.

If the two of them were not careful, they would stain the legacy of their lineage.

10 years later

“You trained her well,” his Master said, voice low and cruel. “Perhaps, too well.”

“She is a credit to my lineage,” Yan said, keeping his voice even. He hadn’t been pleased when Komari had been chosen to go to Naboo to spring the trap that his master had set. It could be no coincidence that it was one of his own apprentices sent. He knew that his Master was attempting to ensure that his ties to the Jedi be more… permanently cut.

A sickening part of him had just been grateful that it hadn’t been Qui-Gon that had been sent. Qui-Gon who, when he was honest with himself, he could acknowledge as loving most. But then, if Qui-Gon had been sent, then perhaps his Master would not be quite so displeased with him. Qui-Gon had always been something of a maverick, but a maverick who could be depended on to follow certain expectations.

Qui-Gon would have removed the Queen from the planet, would have gotten her to Coruscant to plead her case.

Komari and her padawan had never been quite so predictable. Galidraan had been the start, but not the end, of disobeyed orders and unsavory partnerships. Yan had fought constantly with the horror that could not quite stop the pride he felt when Komari and Obi-Wan became known as the team to send before the boy had even turned seventeen.

Perhaps Yan should have known that Komari and Obi-Wan would have ruined his Master’s plans now. But, neither he nor his Master had expected for Komari and Obi-Wan to join forces with the Queen, her handmaidens, and a force of Mandalorians to take the planet back.

Yan wasn’t even sure how they’d gotten word out to the Mandalorians that they required aid. But then, his former apprentice and her apprentice had always been remarkably capable and entirely unorthodox.

He had tried to caution Komari against maintaining the friendship she had built with Jango Fett ten years ago on Galidraan, but she had retained it regardless. Had done worse and encouraged an impressionable young Obi-Wan’s own friendships with the two Mandalorians he had saved on that Galidraan battlefield.

The fruits of that relationship had borne out now. Naboo relieved from their blockade before his Master could use the circumstance to gain the power he desired and his Master’s more brutish apprentice—Darth Maul—captured and contained.

“A credit to your lineage,” his Master repeated, disgust cool beneath the words. “There will be consequences to this setback, Tyrannous.”

“I understand,” Yan said evenly. He steeled his heart. He knew what this would require

He had lost Komari fifteen years ago, when she had arrived in his quarters with an eight year old initiate with wide, guileless eyes. It had been a gradual loss. That his new Master sought to make it permanent… Yan had made his choice.

But perhaps…

Yan did not allow his new Master to see the small kernel of hope that burned in his chest that maybe his former apprentice would subvert his expectations in this, just as she had in everything else since that day fifteen years ago.

#fey's writing #star wars #obi-wan kenobi #komari vosa #dooku #not at all relevant to the story #but Jango has an absolute crush on Komari #the rest of the true mandalorians laugh at him #Komari has a crush back #whenever they meet up they flirt by teaching Obi-Wan to be deadly and dangerous

[dreadheadmuncher]

“👹LECLER!”

A/n : Keep in mind this just an imagine and a small post I decided to come up with.

Tag🔞: fluff, oral sex, head top, vanilla sex, edging.

Summary: Mel goes on a vacation trip with a close friend to Monaco and while the two attends the F1 racing event, she had a bit too much fun that same night.

Vroom…

Just a bunch of small weird looking cars zooming down the track with watchers getting hyped up, this screams out rich and expensive but who am I judge when this didn’t came out of my pocket. Harry managed to get us vip tickets that included sitting the lounge with champagnes and meals being served to us which was my favorite part but most of was for him to meet the drivers after the race but mainly because he has a friend that happens to be one of the drivers so he came out to support like the good pal he is plus who who I am to pass up a free way to ticket to Monaco, not this bitch.

I palmed my chest when the lounge area ran wild from all majority of Harry leaping out of his chair in pure joy as he applauses and hollered, dabbing the other that were also in the lounge area, from this I assume someone won from how lively the crowd gotten. I remained muted and applauded quietly with a small smile, I finish chug my champagne down and soon each driver who finishes the race all stood on the podium. Hmm, all of them was cute. One in a fully red suit with a Ferrari logo who I guessed came in first coming in second was a caramel skinned man with locs and a nose piercing- damn he fine. I didn’t care about the dude in the orange suit one but those two gentlemen’s caught my eyes.

“That’s Lewis, the friend who I came to support” Harry introduces pointing at the caramel skinned man, sounded so proud of his friend victory. I smiled and chugged the remaining last of champagne down my throat as I focused on the two good looking men, Harry lead us downstairs to the driver’s paddock where all of the man would be located after the race. A few was being questioned and so and so. Harry would stopped by every driver he sees congratulating them on their race then follow up on a 20 minute chit-chat talking about sports blah blah blah and there’s me who hardly knows anything about the race but a girl who’s being a good supportive friend of riding along since I was promised parties and yachts.

“Harry, sorry to bug you but when we-”

I was cut short when a male voice with an English accent calls out Harry name almost mentioning Harry happens to English himself. Fuck me. I sighed annoyingly but straighten my composure when his fine ass friend- Lewis! Yeah, that’s his name I think approached out his way with a wide smile.

“Ah mate, what a heck of race out there” Harry dabs him up doing some type of strange handshake- you know what, I’ll just mind my business. Not with this handsome brother being in my presence.

Lewis, I’ve heard that name somewhere back home but just couldn’t put my finger down it, I know someone back home who’s obsessed with this whole racing stuff and she was explaining to me about this whole thing but I just couldn’t bare another minute of her rambling her mouth however she didn’t lie when she said most of these drivers- especially that one are attractive. It was then when I realized I was gawking a bit too much when he darted his glare over at me with a side grin.

“Sorry hun, not doing autographs at the moment” Lewis says and I slightly gape my mouth open, I grimaced my face at the thought of me being desperate for a simple autograph from a man I hardly know.

“Excuse me?” I asked feeling a bit offended, I shot Harry a hard glare gesturing for him to get his boy before my mouth makes a scene and I’m pretty sure Harry seen that side of me before.

“U-Uhm Lewis, this was the friend I was telling you about who I brought along” Harry mentions, Lewis eyed me up and down with speck of attitude on his face as a light chuckle escapes from his mouth. I flicked my brows up with my arms crossed not believing what I seeing.

“So what, you too good to have manners now” I remarked with a scoff, Lewis furrows his brows at my statement as he steps closer attempting to look intimidating. He don’t know where I’m from for him to be pulling that kind of stunt, he’d get shot up real quick.

“Says the little lady that came down with a bitchy ass attitude… Harry, you should know better to bring someone-”

“Listen here you big melon forehead, I hardly know you unless you God himself or my momma to be saying shit about me so I suggest you tone that shit down or-” I spat

“My Goodness, what’s all of the ruckus about” A deep voice spoke interrupting my speech, all of the anger that was building in my muscles had suddenly disappeared when a man a lot taller than Harry and Mr Melon here approached us with a lingering smirk on his face. He wore a white button shirt with the Mercedes logo on it, his sleeve are rolled up allowing me to get a glimpse of his arm and I can’t forget how perfect that top hugs his muscles.

“Lewis, what are you still standing here for… you acting like you don’t have a press conference to go to”

Lewis grunts storming off while penetrating a deep glare at me as he walks off fully, a moment of pause before we all bursted out a tear laughter at just happened. He looks like a toddler that just threw tantrum from someone telling him no. Harry does his bickering before he politely introduced me to the man- hmm, let alone I’d let this man devour me on top of his desk.

“Hi, I’m Mel” I extended my hand with a smile, He takes my hand and slowly turns it around to lay a peck as he sets a concentrate glare at me.

“I’m Toto Wolff but you can just call me Toto, doll”

I lightly blushed at the nickname he already given me, he winks and smiles so widely causing a second heartbeat down there but how can I stay focus when he’s looking at me with hooded eyes, he may be pushing 50 or so but what they say- age ain’t none but a number.

“I hope to see you two at the party tonight” He says, taking his leave. I furrowed my brows and glared at Harry with confusion laced all over my expression. This trick didn’t mentioned anything about no damn party til now, that was the whole point as to why I even agreed to come here.

“Mel, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you” He smirks, walking backwards as his eyes locked in with mines feeling heat coursing through my body. He winks then proceeds to make his exit leaving the two of us alone, I sense the skeptical stare shooting my way from Harry. I shrugged my shoulders and mouthed ‘what’ as we both proceeds our exit out the premises with Harry giving me a lecture about interrupting him and flirting with the man telling me he was married as if I was the one who started it first.

•

Fast forward to later when I was in my hotel room preparing for the party, Harry booked a luxurious hotel room for the two of us which included a wide balcony view of the beach side with a nice jacuzzi - man if only I had someone here… wink wink. I couldn’t ask for better than the room service treating you like an absolute queen. I glared at myself at the mirror and the way how much this dress was hugging every crack and bone on my body showing my figure.

“Mel are you- holy smokes” Harry nearly choked on his words as he walked in, he took a moment to gaze on the dress I was wearing.

“Is this too much?” I asked, fiddling with my hands awaiting for his response. Harry approaches me with his eyes set on my dress but from the way he was muted, he was telling me otherwise “I knew it, I should change-”

“Mel, I’d have you out those clothes in hot seconds with the way you look right now, you gonna be pulling heads from left to right” He compliments, now he was starting stare a bit too much and he seem to notice that as well “Let’s go, the chauffeur here”

A chauffeur?! …. count me the fuck in. We both made our way out the elevator and a group of men who were passing couldn’t help but to turn their necks at us. Harry pulled me closer to his side with his hands stuck around my waist, ain’t never seen this side of him. A women dressed in all black from head to toe address us for Mr Wolf and immediately we got settled in, just a few couple of minutes, we had arrived already at the scene and the line was incredibly long.

“There’s no way I’m waiting in that long ass line” I grunted, he gestures me to wait and I watch him approach the bouncer as he said a few words to him then boom we was already in. I heard a couple of complaints but shit- as long we got a head start. The music was so amazingly loud, I could’ve feel it vibrating in my chest and you can hardly pass through from how crowded it was everywhere, it wasn’t until I released a heavy scoff followed by a eye roll when melon head came to dab up Harry. His whole expression died down as soon as he darts his eyes to me, seizing me up and down with a look of disgrace.

“I see you brought little miss fiesty” He remarks.

“Harry, control your little pest of yours” I spat, growing agitated at the sight of him and the longer he stays in my presence the more I just want to rip those damn locs out from his scalp. Harry noticed my expression and pulls me aside turning our back towards him, the melon head assured to Harry he was going to be located if he ever wants to find him.

“I’m really sorry about him, do you maybe want a drink?”

“You know what, go enjoy yourself with your friends, I’ll be okay” I said to him, my eyes never leaving the mysterious man who had a smirk on his face. At first Harry was uncertain whether or not it was a good idea to leave me by myself but I assure to him that things will be fine as long. He pecks my forehead and I watch him flew upstairs to his friend as a wide smile appeared on his face when melon head hands him a big bottle.

“My, you have such beauty on you” I winced, I followed the direction of the voice and just when my luck came when it appears to be that same man from the podium earlier and good lord he’s even breathtaking up close.

“Why did your boyfriend leave a gorgeous women like you all alone, He should know men tend to be a thirst for pretty women like you” I couldn’t help but notice how strangely attractive his accent sounded. I must admit, here in Monaco has incredibly good looking people here.

“Boyfriend… I don’t have a boyfriend but I appreciate the compliment” I chuckled with a smile suddenly feeling hot from the intense eye contact he has on me. He returns the smiles exposing a dimple

“So am I lucky enough to buy the beautiful women a drink? ” He playfully asks, smiling softly exposing his dimples. A fine looking man offering to buy me a drink- how can I let that opportunity slip out my hand. He whistles for the bartender attention then turns back around, I was quickly adjusting myself by pulling the hem of my of dress not realizing he had already fixed his gaze on me as he lingered them more on my dress.

“Do you have a name apart from being called beautiful?” He questions, grabbing the two drinks and handing it to me. The minute he stands next to me, I didn’t fail to notice how tall he was making our height difference prominent as he gaze down at me.

“Mel, what about you, handsome?” I asked softly, taking a sip of my drink.

“I go by the name of Charles… since I got the beautiful lady a drink and her name, would she at least come dance with me?” He asked, I averted my head towards the dance floor where everyone was throwing a type move with the music playing- the dj might be onto something with this playlist. I chugged my drink down in immediately and Charles quirked his brows up slightly taken back from the sight of this, I set the now empty cup down and tugged his hand as I led us both out to the center of the floor. His hands snatched my waist already flushing our bodies together which I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Big Poppa by The Notorious B.I.G starts playing.

A rage of adrenaline sparked in my bones the minute I heard that intro. I felt a slight push as he grips on my waist and instantly I start grinding my hips on him, his hands moves down to cup a handful of my ass and I almost let myself go from releasing a moan from how good it felt he was caressing it. I spun around and now my ass was directly on his crotch, with all of the alcohol coursing in my system, I let him dominate my body all night and here I am worrying if he knew how to dance or not but it seem to me he got a lil bit of spice in him from the way he was moving his hips into mines almost forgetting I can feel his boy getting a little too excited down here, in one swift motion, I was facing him and ooh- those eyes made me melt even more. He seem to love my rubbing on my ass from how much time his hands stood there.

His hands travels up feeling up every corner of my body not knowing he was starting a fire in me, his hands gently laced around my neck and slowly he leans in to crash his lips on mines tasting the sweet but bitter alcohol, I parted my lips inviting his tongue in as he starts to dominate the kiss with our heads moving in different directions. He don’t know it yet but he just started the engine in my aching core making me want him more. I come to my senses that we’re making out in a middle of a dance floor and I was aching him bad as my stomach was flipping like crazy.

“I think this will be better at my place” I draw little circles on his firm chest, he licks his swollen lips and agrees immediately with a side grin. I pulled his arm as we both tried to squeeze ourselves through the crowd, I had to make one final stop before I end up leaving this place this man.

“H-Harry!” I manage to call out and surprisingly Harry heard my voice as he ran over to my side despite Charles flushing his body against me which I wasn’t complaining. Harry eyes widened as he notice Charles hands placements, Harry glared at him suspiciously but it died down when he sees how comfortable and fine I am.

“Lecler, what a nice surprise” the two dabs each other but I was gaining worryingly not at Harry being drunk but for Charles who I think might make a fool out of himself around Charles. How many drinks did he had? My eyes glowered around the area but paused for a while when it landed on melon head who already was looking my way with a menacing glare obviously drunk too won’t a bottle of jack Daniel in his hand.

“Careful Leclerc, that one might bite” He makes a slick comment, sipping out of his bottle.

“You sound pathetic as hell, next” I shot back with an eye roll. He chuckles amusingly with a smirk on his face.

“I sound pathetic… that dress looks more pathetic maybe because it’s on you” He his voice spiked with frustration, might’ve hit a nerve in that spot, it was kinda funny if you really look at it that way.

“So does that big melon head of yours” I deadpanned and the fire explodes as he abruptly stood up tossing the bottle somewhere with a deep frown on his face and here I am being bold and big when I nearly forgot how tall he was but I take that back as soon as Charles stepped in between moving me behind him, his hand never leaving my waist and I swear I can feel my panties dampening from how hot that looks.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you, mate” Charles warned in this deep voice I never knew sounded even more attractive.

“Lewis… hey pal let’s air this outside but not in here” Harry pulls his arm back, Lewis brows deepened as he forms a fist nearly piping a vein. I can radiate a very serious rage coming out of him from that hard glare he was shooting my way as Charles made sure he wouldn’t dare pull a stunt.

“Tell your girl to not tempt me because I tend to get reckless with my mouth, let this be the final warning and next time shit won’t sweet” He tone was light than before, I felt a small breeze brush on me when he stormed off and I sensed incredible rush of anger coming from him.

“I apologize for-”

“No worries, I’m quite used to his aggressiveness anyways” Charles brushed it off releasing a breathless laugh with Harry. Harry averts his gaze to me as his face was rubbing pink obviously from all the drinking he’s been doing, he was checking to see if I was alright like the overprotective brother he always acted.

“Don’t think just because you’re a driver doesn’t mean you get to harm her, I’m armed…” He harshly warned with his words being slurred, he can barely even obtain his balance. I do hope Lewis keeps on a watch for this man but he’s such a jerk and so uptight I can’t even say not word to this man without him mean mugging.

“Harry, you’re harassing the man already. I’ll be fine, just please ease up on the drinking and be careful” I begged, removing the bottle out of his hand but thankfully his other friend came to his side reassuring he’ll keep on a good eye on him. I graciously thanked him with a wide smile and rushed out the club with Charles trailing behind closely.

Once the room card inserted, the small pad flashes green allowing the door to flung open with him trailing behind me but he just couldn’t wait any waste any further to crash his soft lips onto mines. My legs levitated from the ground and immediately wrapped around him as I have no clue where he was taking us but I felt a soft cushion against my back leaving him on top. Our kiss deepened passionately with the intrusion of our tongues and boy do I feel my panties dampening everytime, when he moves to another spot, it sent electric shocks all over my body wanting him more.

He cups my right breast as starts sensually sucking and biting on certain parts my neck all with my eyes shuts feeling every satisfaction aching in my bone. I grew anticipated when he suddenly stopped but then i realized he was leaning over me when I opened my eyes to meet his bright blue doe eyes- he looks like a adorable kid excited to play in the field, his hair was fluffier from the tugging I’ve been doing, his face flushing pink which I want to reach over and squeeze his cheeks and his lips that were now swollen and red.

“You are absolutely gorgeous” He whispers as he pulls on my strap to remove the straps of my dress as the cold breeze brushes against my nipple. He darts his eyes down at my exposed breast, I pushed him aside as I stood on my feet and removed the remaining of the fabric off my body letting it pool around my feet. At the sight of my naked body in front of him, I sashay my hips towards him and threw my leg over sitting on top of him.

“Putain de merde”

“You can do whatever you want with me tonight, I’m all yours” I whispered while leaving wet kisses all over his ear as my hands began to travel- now hold the fuck up, I just realized this man still got clothes on him.

“Baby, why is your clothes still on” I abruptly got up with my arms folded over my exposed chest, he stammers and looks down to realize the same thing. He eagerly removed every layer off his body except his boxers where a visible tent was notice, his face flushed red embarrassed that he was rock solid hard as he quickly covered it. He is so adorable. A light grin creeps up my face, the little jumper sprung out of his briefs, it was a pretty pink color with precum decorating the jumper not mention he was large. My mouth was itching swallow him.

“It hurts… real bad” He whimpers, a jumpstart to quake the ground down there. My hands can hardly wrap around his jumper which requires the use of two hands. His eyes were shut closed which means he have blue balls… poor baby. I started showering it with kisses all while stroking slowly and now his face expression became my favorite part, playing with his jumper and watching as he gets excited really quirked my heart fast. I decided to stop playing tricks with him and took him whole in my head as I bopped my head continuously twirling my tongue in the process. His moans were music to my ears that I hit replay all day, it’s so soft yet sweet which urged me to touch on myself as I fasten up the pace.

“M-Mel… Putain d'enfer” He chokes out, his lips parted open as his head leaned all the way back as he sings in my ears with his alluring moans and just as I expect he exploded in my mouth. Now that it bothers me but it was so warm against my tongue, I pulled away and looked up at him with his mess all over my mouth as his juice dripped down on my tits.

Despite looking like a total mess, he wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me into a kiss as he leads me onto his lap where I felt his tip tempting my core, his hands wanders its way in between my thigh and I melted the moment his cold fingers starts caressing my clit which I urged to grind my hips let alone a moan that escaped from my mouth as he paced faster. Before I could even run away from, he switch position leaving me underneath as he continued flickering my sensitive part. I was moaning like a mess careless who could’ve hear me at this rate, he pinned my arms above my head rather harsh and flushes his body against just so I hardly move.

I moaned incredibly loud when he pushed a finger inside of me, my body swiftly moves as he motioned back and forth leaving the sweet sensation all over my body.

“Look at me, mon amour”

Good lord his sexy accent makes it bittersweet. I knew it was bad idea to look into his alluring eyes, I gasped and scrunching my face when he pulled a two piece combo of one finger rubbing on my clit and one fucking me sensually. Damn, I want him so bad- oh! He found the spot, he noticed my expression and played in it for a while as a smirk creeped up on his face. He pulls out and sucked the soul out cleaning the juice off finger in every corner.

“Vous avez un goût délicieux” He says as he leaned down inserting his tongue into my mouth- damn I taste good! He pulls away trailing kisses down until he gets in between my thighs, he traces wet kisses along my ankle and I could’ve felt his warm breath fanning against my opening that was itching to be raw fucked. I arched my back when I felt his wet tongue on my folks, I looked down and his eyes was already gawking me like an eagle as he sucked the lifeless out of me. One thing about him, he doesn’t miss a show to watch his effect on me, he restrains my legs down from moving and I couldn’t do anything but wiggle underneath him as he practically made out with my desperate wet lips that were aching to get assaulted.

“I-I’m…fuck… close” I moaned out. I hold onto his hair for dear life as I felt myself about to explode, my toes curled and my back deepened it arch when it finally reach into that peak and just hearing the sound of him slurping every drop of my juice into his mouth as he continued to devour sparking up the fire in my core. I moaned practically cried out when I exploded into my second case, Charles pulls back and watches his work in progress. I couldn’t help but burst out into laughter at the mess on his face but it sure looks good on him.

“Loving the new face mask” I breathlessly joked.

“It’s my favorite one too, it’s called Mel’s juice” He smiles exposing his dimples as we both breathlessly laugh. He took a rise and so did his jumper, I furrowed my brows when he extends his hand out. I was hesitant at first but I had to come quick to my senses that I didn’t thought about all of this the min I let him walk in tasting me in his mouth. That shit was better than my old fling back home. I reluctantly took his hand despite the fact we was both bare naked and he leading me out to the balcony, he pulls me into a embrace as the cold breeze brushes past my skin and his lil jumper making a little surprise down there.

“Have you ever fucked in a balcony?” He asks, his trailing all over my body. My head falls back on his chest as he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck feeling his wet tongue, certainly I have a lot of public sex but this one was absolutely bizarre. My room was on the top floor but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a large crowd of people downstairs and neighbors sleeping in hoping these thin walls hadn’t woke anyone up. I turned to face him and soon my left legs were lifted off from the ground leaving the other one down, he looks down and lines his cock with my opening.

“Charles, let’s- fuck…” I breathlessly moan as his throbbing cock finally rams into my pussy like the desperate whore it would be, his hands gripped my waist tight as he thrusts in with so much power, I can hardly hold myself up. The lovely music of our skin slapping and his singing vocals in my ear was just the sweetest thing ever, let alone how big and wet his strokes was igniting the flames all over my body. He felt so damn good. I can’t believe I’m fucking a F1 driver up in my hotel room, my roommate obsesses over this guy yet here I am getting dogged fucked by him.

“Fu-fuck…”

A small smirk lays upon his face knowing damn well he was behind all of moaning mess, I bit my lips trying to obtain any sound coming out of my mouth remembering I had neighbors next door but thay couldn’t be a simple task when he thrusted deep into my core hitting my G spot. Just the sight of the lustful frown plastered on his beet red face made me wetter even more making me forget about reality.

He seamlessly lifted me up with his body flushed against not allowing himself pull out as he takes us back inside, he gently placed me on the carpet floor and paused for a moment with his bright doe eyes staring into mines with a look of admiration, Charles fine ass fuck and he knows it.

“Tu es belle ma jolie fille” He spoke, it sounded so vanilla and sweet, my walls were beginning to clench around his cock. I don’t know what he said but overall his tops my favorite sex.



#writing #driver #black reader #smut #f1 x reader #random #charles leclerc #first post #imagine #18+ mdni

[bylerbrainrot]

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Initial Thoughts

hi! I don't usually to this but here are my thoughts about Taylor Swift's The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. The purpose of this post is not to hate on Joe Alwyn btw, i'm just trying to decipher the meaning and link the lyrics to other songs. Lmk if you agree/disagree with anything :)

extra note: this is just a theory and i really know nothing about taylor’s life. so don’t take anything said as factual 🤍

--

Verse 1 pt. 1:

was any of it true? gazing at me starry eyed. in your jehovah's witness suit who the f*ck was that guy?

Thoughts:

Two things jump out at me with this verse.

One: "gazing at me starry eyed" is a direct reference to Call It What You Want, where Taylor describes Joe as possessing "Starry eyes" which light up her darkest nights.

Two: "Jehovah's Witness suit". This part really stood out to be because I literally had no clue what she was talking about. The area I live in doesn't have many Jehovah's Witnesses, so the concept of a suit commonly worn by one is pretty alien to me. However, upon further research I have concluded that it's just a suit with a buttoned up jacket and tie - something Joe often sported when out with Taylor at special events. My sister also suggested that it had something to do with Joe's role in Taylor's life. Jehovah's Witnesses remove themselves from "worldly influences", and tend not to celebrate occasions. This could be indicative of Joe's lack of interest in her achievements, and his detachment from her life as a pop star.

Overall, this part of this song is really just her questioning if the man she loved ever existed.

Verse 1 pt. 2:

you tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine they just ghosted you now you know what it feels like

Thoughts:

So there's definitely some sort of substance abuse going on with Joe. I don't want to delve too much into it, because I think the lyrics speak for themselves and it's obviously a very personal situation, but I do think the second half is of the verse is interesting. It seems like Taylor was ignored/completely ghosted during her relationship, which was something I had never considered before.

Chorus

and i don't even want you back i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal and i don't miss what we have but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived

Thoughts:

Essentially Taylor is saying that she never wants to be with him again, but hopes that he knows how much he screwed her over.

When I hear "rusting my sparkling summer was the goal" I immediately think of august, with the song being set in summer and the lyric: "salt air and the rust on your door". August follows the story of a woman wanting love from a man who has no intention of doing so, which is a similar theme in this song.

I love the phrase "the smallest man who ever lived". It paints such a vivid image of how insecure and bitter a person can be. It's also notable that Joe being small contrasts Taylor being "too big to hang out" with (Anti-Hero).

Verse 2 pt. 1:

you hung me on your wall

stabbed me with your pushpins

in public showed me off

then sank in stoned oblivion 

Thoughts

"you hung me on your wall / stabbed me with your pushpins" reminds me of a postcard being stuck on a cork board. This alludes to me that Taylor is being preserved and cherished as a memento, which can be validating but also objectifying is some aspects. The imagery of her being stabbed reiterates that she is suffering because of him.

"in public showed me off / then sank into stoned oblivion" is another reference to possible substance abuse. It seems like when they were together around cameras, he appeared proud of her, but in private his affection was inept.

Verse 2 pt. 2:

cause once your queen had come

you treat like her like an also-ran

you didn’t measure up

in any measure of a man

Thoughts

I saw a few people refer to the first part of this verse as Taylor talking about infidelity. I actually think the "queen" she's referring to is herself, considering the next line she says he treats her like"an also-ran". If you didn't know, an also-ran is "someone in a competition who is unlikely to do well or who has failed". Joe considers Taylor his competition rather than his equal, and subsequently treats her as though she is sub-par.

"you didn't measure up / in any measure of man" is such a bad*ss line i love it. Here, she's saying Joe didn't possess any attributes of a "good man", like honesty, loyalty and respect.

Bridge pt. 1:

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you writing a book?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in 50 years will all this be declassified? 

Thoughts

Taylor is questioning if Joe's intention was to ruin her life. She cannot fathom why someone would do the things he did to her without any motive. So instead, to rationalise her suffering, she suggests a plethora of reasons why Joe might've acted this way.

Taylor also asks if he is a "sleeper cell spy", which might be a reference to Stars at Noon - a 2022 film starring Joe Alwyn and Margaret Qualley where he plays an intelligence agent.

Bridge pt. 2:

and you'll confess why you did it

and i'll say good riddance

cause it wasn’t sexy once

it wasn’t forbidden 

i would’ve died for your sins

instead i just died inside

Thoughts

She's questioning what it is he wanted from her, because, once again, she cannot fathom the idea of someone being so cruel for no reason.

"cause it wasn't sexy once / it wasn't forbidden" weirdly enough reminds me of cruel summer, where Taylor speaks about having a forbidden, sex-driven relationship over the summer. This also once again reminds me of august, where a similar relationship is endured between augustine and james.

"i would’ve died for your sins / instead i just died inside" is a very blatant reference to peace from folklore, where she says "all these people think love's for show / but i would die for you in secret". It's actually really sad to see how the sentiment of her dying for Joe has evolved into something more sinister.

+++ is good riddance a gracie abrams reference??? (love that if it is)

Bridge pt. 3:

and you deserve prison but you won’t get time you’ll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

Thoughts

Wowwwww. This one is actually insane! Did he actually do something illegal? Or is this a metaphorical crime? I don't think you're able to determine that from these lyrics alone, but man, it leaves you curious. It's interesting that even if he did get put away, Taylor assumes that he'll be able to evade punishment. Perhaps this is because he doesn't have a guilty conscious? Or maybe there's not enough proof to fully prosecute him? I have no clue, but one thing is for sure - this part makes me feel awful.

Bridge pt. 4:

you crashed my party  and your rental car you said normal girls were boring  but you were gone by the morning

Thoughts

The first thing I think of when I hear this part is Taylor's grammy's after party, soon after which their breakup was announced. Joe posted a photo of him and Jack, confirming his attendance, but no pictures were taken of Taylor and Joe. Maybe he had "crashed", and attended without her permission? As for the part about crashing a car, I couldn't find any info on Joe being in an accident around this time. But then again, maybe it was covered up? Or perhaps it was a minor crash?

"you said normal girls were boring / but you were gone by the morning " sounds like a washed up ex begging for forgiveness. To me, it tells the story of Joe coming to a party and telling Taylor that she was better than "normal girls" and that he wanted her back, only to depart the next day.

Bridge pt. 5:

you kicked out the stage lights but you’re still performing  and in plain sight you hid but you are what you did

Thoughts

She speaks about how Joe is an actor who continues to try and grow his career despite trying to undermine Taylor's. He will carry on about his life as if nothing happened between them, but somewhere in his mind he is aware of how much he hurt her.

Concluding Chorus:

and i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived.

Thoughts

This part reminds me of Bad Blood's "You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go". Taylor is going to move on from Joe, but she will forever maintain her disdain towards him and what he did to her.

Random things I noticed while listening

the breaths you can hear between each verse are the same heard in you're losing me - a song about the death of Joe/Taylor

piano is the primary instrument, which Joe is known for playing (ie. exile)

There is a tempo change in the bridge which is similar evermore, another song about and written by Joe

the song duration is 4:05, which is the same length as tolerate it. The song depicts "the continuous struggle of wanting love from someone who isn’t even paying attention to anything you do" (does this relate to her dynamic with Joe?)

--

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!! I'm writing this extremely sleep deprived so please tell me if what i'm saying is coherent. Also please do expand on my thoughts!! I'm kind of just jotting down whatever comes to mind, so feel free to correct/add anything you like <3

ps. this is all speculative!! No hate to Joe because i actually have no clue what he did :p

++ going to quickly mention that is it is of my opinion that this song is NOT about m*tty h**ly. I don't think they dated nearly long enough for him to have such a detrimental impact on her mental health, and for her to of metaphorically "died" because of him. Plus, there's a lot of references in this song to other works about/involving Joe.

#taylor swift #taylor swift analysis #the smallest man who ever lived #ttpd #the tortured poets department #joe alwyn #joe x taylor #lyrics #song analysis

[jellysxtarr]

Question! Do you do Miss Thavel and Miss Bloomie? If so, I would like to request Miss Thavel and Miss Bloomie [separated] x Wife!Reader. Please :3

Ignore if you don't! It's Fine. :D

Ofc ofc!! If the characters are possibly ooc, do forgive me since there isn't much information about them yet.

Miss Thavel + Miss Bloomie with a Wife! S/O

Warnings: // (just them being ooc really)

MISS THAVEL

— ʚ Dating, or even being married to Miss Thavel is one hell of a ride! She can actually be nice (at least to you), so there isn't anything you should be concerned about.

— ʚ She isn't near being shy or hesitant to say about being married to you, saying it loud and proud while even showing it off.

— ʚ I don't really see Miss Thavel as an affectionate type, nor is she repulsed by showing it in public. As said previously, she has no reason to hide the fact that both of you are married to each other and will openly shove it into anybody's face.

— ʚ She can be possessive, growing jealous sometimes too quickly and way too easily. Miss Thavel can get a bit violent, using more force on somebody if saying both of you are married won't work.

— ʚ If you were also a teacher that was going to the same school, she definitely would be near you at all times. Inviting you to the teachers lounge, randomly popping up in your classroom (which might even cause your students to have a sudden feeling of fear), and the list goes on!

— ʚ I'd have a feeling she would tell you "I love you" or call you nicknames in a different language since she is a language teacher, which she has done in every language available!

EXAMPLES BEING "Ich liebe dich" "meine schönste" "je t'aime" "ma chérie" "mi corazón" "te amo" etc..

— ʚ She would, and probably will, get rid of anything that might be bothering you, may it be a random person (even though that would end badly) to an object nobody would really care about, it's gone before you could even reconsider!

MISS BLOOMIE

— ʚ Miss Bloomie, who is more introverted, wouldn't really be as open about being married to you unless someone asks about it, which she will answer proudly.

— ʚ Since she is married to you, she will act more open with you (chaotic even), feeling more comfortable around you will let her go loose! Which has it's own perks of being married to her.

— ʚ She doesn't get jealous as often, seeing that you won't be leaving her anytime soon (nor plan to), makes her not have a reason to be. Even when she does get jealous, it ends up more violent rather than peaceful at the end.

— ʚ She would probably be near you at all times, which would be even worse if you were a teacher at the same school. Being at least a few steps away, often times sitting right next to you at the teachers lounge and being the one to appear more often in your classroom.

— ʚ Miss Bloomie would be more clingy, while being more restricted on showing affection in public, she wouldn't care at all the moment both. of you are alone and would show her affection without a care in the world.

— ʚ she would be more attached to your hip, making sure you're doing fine or bothering you (and even if, she'd also be one to get rid of whatever is bothering you). I see her form of affection being mostly words of affirmation than anything else, so be prepared to hear a lot from here when she does show her affection!

#fundamental paper education #fundamental paper education x reader #fpe #fpe x reader #fpe miss thavel #miss thavel x reader #fpe miss bloomie #miss bloomie x reader

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

Insurgency: The Uprising

Summary: A totalitarian regime reigns over a South American country in which the virus is being distributed to its citizens at the pretense of a “cure.” Leon was sent to retrieve a sample of the virus mutation when he stumbled upon a group of anti-government activists whose main goal is to overthrow their government. Will Leon help the cause or will he fall down with the government as well?

Warning: Mentions of mature themes. Read at your own discretion. Slow burn. Age gap (Leon is 38 and reader is 21+). Reader is female.

Word count: 4,750

A/N: this is an idea I had for a book I wanted to write. I love dystopian books and movies so I really wanted to write something like this. This will be a series lol.

[part one][part two][part three][part four][part five][part six][part seven][part eight][bonus]

“The relief of giving in to destruction.” - Franz Kafka, Diaries.

“This is an urgent message from the president. This is an urgent message from the president. This is an ur-“

“Hello citizens of Pruye,” the TV warning got interrupted by the screening of a middle aged woman sitting down on a desk. Her suit was black as a flag stood behind her. The colors blue and green with a crest on the far left corner- a serpent. The woman had a brown bob with a few grey hairs. Her eyes were deep brown as her lips remained a bright pink. Her rosy cheeks puffed out the look of exhaustion as she embodied the feeling of a confident and strong leader,

“Today is an important day that all must remember. Tonight, we will launch the cure of all illnesses. The immunity to life. We shall bring peace and harmony all throughout the globe. A change never seen in history… until now.”

“Membario will become the new pharmaceutical phenomena. Our people worked hard for this cure and we shall be the first ones to prove to the world that we, too, can make history. Tonight, you all will be receiving a sample of this cure. Tonight, we will boast in the celebrations of what it feels to be victors! We are proud Pruyanians!”

The TV got turned off by someone, your coworker, “What a bunch of mierda,” Your coworker was an old man, a veteran who served in the war and now worked at where you worked. A canteen right in the middle of downtown Pruye. The streets were made of cement but had plot holes from previous battles.

The Pruyanian government, right before the current president won the election, was peaceful and harmonious in which it allowed citizens to have a voice. After President Mendez took charge, she changed everything.

Streets were patrolled by the Pruyanian soldiers who proved their loyalty to the country. Laws were changed and made to accommodate the president’s demands.

“I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal, it’s just a drug like opium or morphine,” he continued with a grumpy voice.

“C’mon, Franco. Don’t be a buzzkill. Imagine how rich we can be if we were to sell it to other countries?” Another coworker said, a young woman in her early twenties with dyed hair. Red fiery hair covering what was a previous black raven shade.

Franco snorted as he stared at the TV and then back at the young woman, “Don’t tell me you actually believe her words? She’s manipulating us!”

You sighed and went to clean up a few tables, “You two fight like politicians.”

“Look- I’m just saying is that there are better ways to make a living. I don’t want to work here for the rest of my life,” the young woman replied as she too helped you clean around the canteen.

“Too bad, Esme,” Franco replied as he opened a newspaper and began to read, “Life’s a bitch and you can’t do anything about it.”

Esme raised her brow and looked at you for a brief moment, “He gets old but not his spirit, eh?” She nudged you with her elbow gently.

You stifled a chuckle and shook your head as you went back to the kitchen to clean the used dishes.

It’s always been you three working here. Esme, Franco and you were like family. After President Mendez delivered the order to kill all those who opposed her, your family became a target.

Your brother, around 16 years old, died right before a ceasefire was called. He was with his friends when a group of Pruyanian soldiers appeared and shot him. The cause for the shooting? He defied a soldier and showed insubordination.

Since then you’ve grown resentment to the government- specifically President Mendez.

The ground shook as you were cleaning the dishes. You slowly approached the open door entry along with Franco and Esme, watching as battle tanks drove through the city.

“Coño… what are they doing over here?” Esme asked faintly as she watched the tanks and army pass by. Their uniform blue with the serpent crest embedded on their arm. The red serpent you’ve seen all throughout the city.

“Must be presidential orders,” Franco pointed to a big screen on a tall tower. The tower stood right in the center of the city layout. Its purpose was to guide those who are lost- or maybe it was to show who the powerful ones really were.

You and Esme turned your attention to the big screen, watching as a countdown took place. They were about to distribute the cure to the citizens in 6 hours.

Esme huffed in annoyance and went back to stare at the soldiers pass by. Their boots echoing through the humid streets of Pruye as they held their weapons with a firm grip.

“They’re securing the area…” you whispered as you furrowed your brows. You turned back to look at the screen and listen to what the president had to say, “We will be patrolling the following areas- Pucalara, Miguén, San Jolonia, and San Bandero. Do not be alarmed, this is standard protocol.”

Currently, you were in San Bandero. The heart of Pruye. The soldiers all surrounded the city and held their rifles close to themselves. You watched as the tanks all moved inward, closer to the tower.

“They’re locking us in…” you spoke faintly as you quickly walked back inside the canteen. Esme and Franco exchanged a look as they followed behind you, seemingly confused.

“This isn’t protection like she claims- no. She’s locking us inside the city-“ you frantically said as you got your bag and jacket.

“Y/n, slow down. How do you even know that?” Franco put a hand on your shoulder to calm you down.

You shook your head as you swung your jacket around your shoulders, “I don’t. But knowing her… she’s hiding something and I don’t want to be here for that.”

You walked out of the canteen and walked down the sidewalk towards where the soldiers were blocking an exit. As you neared them, a soldier held out his rifle and aimed at you as he spoke through his helmet, “Turn back around. You cannot leave the area.”

You raised your hands in the air and took a step forward, resulting in the other soldiers pointing their guns at you, “I said- turn back around! Now!”

With a glare you slowly took steps back as you walked away from them. They weren’t letting people out which meant that they were also not letting people in.

As you walked back to the canteen, you noticed how people began to get out of their houses and grow confused at the soldiers. Why were they blocking the exits and entries of the city?

Right as you were about to walk inside the canteen, shots were fired. You crouched down to the floor and covered your head with your arms as you looked over your shoulder and saw soldiers shooting the civilians with weapons launching at them.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the people with machetes and guns fight each other. The sound of bodies falling down to the floor as well as the blood seeping through their lifeless bodies, staining the cement under them.

Rain began to pour down, making it hard for the soldiers to see through their helmets. You watched as a person stabbed a soldier from behind with their knife but then fall to the ground dead as the soldier behind them shot them in the head.

This was war.

-

Leon was called to the main office of the organization he was currently working at. Which was for the government. He found himself inside the White House again for some reason.

As he waited inside a room, he couldn’t help but notice how bright and sunny the weather had been lately. Which was a contrast to what he felt. Drained and exhausted.

The door opened gently and two men dressed in expensive suits stepped inside with a file in their hands. They approached where Leon had been sitting and sat on the couch across from him.

“Good news, your request for a getaway vacation has been approved,” one of the men, balding and tired, said as he laid the file on the coffee table between them. Leon leaned forward to pick it up and go through it.

“And the bad news?” Leon asked without glancing at them.

The other cleared his throat before speaking, “You’re being sent to another virus mission.”

Leon looked up from the file to stare at the two men. Another mission about the virus, when will it ever end?

He sighed as he closed the file and leaned back against the couch, “So another zombie apocalypse. Great, just what I fucking needed…” he whispered as he put the file back on the coffee table, “No.”

“No? What do you mean no? This is important, people’s lives are at risk and we can’t-“ Leon quickly interrupted the balding man.

“You can’t save everyone when it comes to this. I’ve seen it many times, why don’t you all just do what you did back in Raccoon City, huh? Bomb them until there’s no trace of the virus,” Leon got up and began to walk towards the door.

“This is different,” the other man said, causing Leon to stop in his tracks. “This isn’t like the virus you’ve seen before… this is much more dangerous.”

Leon turned around to look at the two of them before walking back to sit on the couch. “Go on.”

“Ahem-“ the man continued, “South America. The branch wants you to go over there and retrieve a sample of the virus. That’s all you have to do. Once you give us the sample, we’ll proceed from there and you’ll get your vacation.”

Leon narrowed his eyes at him, growing suspicious of how easy the mission sounds, “You aren’t telling me everything, are you?”

The balding man laughed nervously and readjusted his black tie, “Not per se-“

“There’s a revolution going on in the country of Pruye where you’re being sent to. They mutated the virus’s genetic code into something more dangerous and they’re using it as medicine- I believe you know where this is going,” the other man said.

Leon nodded and kept quiet as the man talked, “The government is planning on distributing this ‘medicine’ to other countries but we cannot let them. Your mission is not only to retrieve a sample but to also stop the spread and destroy the evidence of the virus ever existing. You will be given a team- both air and land to help you complete your mission. Your task is not let others know the real reason why you’re there. You are acting as a soldier proving aid to the government. Once you have retrieved the virus sample, we will pull you out of the country and bring you back.”

“This time I’m actually getting help. Nice,” Leon replied sarcastically. It was obvious that Leon wasn’t all too excited about this. He’s been used as a killing machine ever since Raccoon City. He’s been tossed around the globe with expectations of solving everyone’s issues. And he’s tired. He’s 38, he should be worrying about other things other than war and death.

His hands rested on his thighs as he began to stand up from the couch, “When do I leave?”

“First thing in the morning, you’ll be on a private plane provided by the government,” the balding man answered.

Leon nodded before finally walking towards the door and exiting the room. As he walked down the halls of the White House, he wondered what life would be like for him. Is this all he’s ever going to do? Was his life purpose about fighting and killing? He couldn’t wait to retire.

-

Smoke covered the entire block. Rain poured down harshly against your skin, causing your hair to stick to you like glue. The smell was of gunpowder and metallic blood infiltrated your nose. A vision full of haze as you stood up from being crouched down on the floor.

Blood.

A lot of blood.

They brought tanks and a helicopter. “¡Al suelo!” Someone yelled.

You got down on the floor as an incoming tank shot a building, causing it to crumble down just a few feet away from the canteen. Your eyes widened in horror at the sight.

People screamed- from pain and from the fight. You got up and ran to try and find Franco and Esme. You needed to get them out of here now.

You staggered as you ran towards the canteen. The debris that had fallen over from the building covering the road. You jumped and ducked as soldiers hid behind them and shot at anyone who they deemed a threat.

Panting through the bloodied streets, you had reached the canteen. You heard groaning and some yelling more up ahead.

You didn’t know what took over you but you found yourself running towards that sound. As you approached the yelling, you saw that Esme had been hit by a piece of debris from the collapsed building. Her leg had been squished and she desperately tried to pry the piece off of her. You kneeled down beside her and pushed the debris aside, watching in horror what had happened to her leg.

Her bone broke and penetrated her skin. Snapped in half like a twig. There was blood pooling down her leg. You froze, you didn’t know what to do. You weren’t a medic but you also weren’t heartless enough to leave her.

You took off your jacket and applied it to her wound, hoping you could at least stop the bleeding. She gripped your arm as she let out a bloody scream in pain.

“Estoy aquí- respira. Todo va estar bien-“ you tried to calm her down but she let out another yell, “y/n it hurts- grragh”

Of course it hurt, her bone was poking out of her skin.

“Where’s Franco?” You asked as you tried to get her distracted from the pain.

She didn’t respond and instead pointed to a mountain of rubble. Metal rods and pieces of cement fell down on top of people. You could see limb pieces- arm, legs. But you couldn’t recognize all of them.

Your eyes followed her finger as she pointed to the gore display.

“He’s under there…” she replied weakly and let out another pained scream.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as your heart rate quickened. Slowly standing up, you walked over to the mountain of rubble. “Franco?” You called out in a panicked tone.

Silence.

You hurriedly kneeled in front of the mountain and hastily moved the rubble away. Taking piece by piece as you denied the thoughts scurrying through your head.

Almost immediately, your heart dropped down to your stomach as you recognize the veteran necklace. With shaky hands, you reached for the necklace and took it.

Franco was dead.

Your vision blurred as you held the necklace on your chest. You let out a blood curdling scream as you trembled in horror.

The ground shook as more bombs blew off. Troops stampeded through the streets, their weapons aimed at the citizens of San Bandero.

You went back to Esme and tried to pick her up, “Come on,” you grunted as she leaned her weight on you.

Dragging her alongside you, you managed to walk further away from the city and towards the exit. The soldiers bordering the entry/exit road had been killed and now laid there lifeless. Their uniforms stained with the red tint of what could be assumed was their blood. Maybe it was also someone else’s.

As you managed to get her out of the city, you walked through the dense forest and laid her down on the ground as she leaned against a tree.

“I’m going to get help- stay here and don’t make a single sound-“

“Leave me,” Esme interrupted you. Her gaze defeated and weak as she looked up at you. “I’m only going to slow you down. You need to get out here…”

Your eyes softened at her, “I can’t leave you, Esme. You’re coming with me-“

“For fuck’s sake y/n! Just go!” She cut you off again. She sighed and closed her eyes. “Just go…”

You stared at her in silence, your feet frozen in place.

“Esme…”

“Just go. I’m not going to live, you saw what they were doing to us… please, Y/n… just go…” she rolled her head back against the tree and grunted softly in pain.

You stared at her in silence as you contemplated your next actions.

“Y/n, go to La Séten mountain…” she heaved as she tried to breathe, “There’s- there’s a group of people who can help you, give them this.”

She weakly handed you a piece of paper with writing on it. You took it and put it in your pocket as you nodded shortly.

“I will…” you whispered as you looked into her amber eyes, “I’m sorry, Esme…”

Esme gave you a weak and faint smile, “Don’t be sorry… promise you’ll live… for me…”

You nodded and held her hand as your eyes welled up in tears, “I will.”

You leaned closer to her and gave her forehead a gentle kiss. She closed her eyes and exhaled for the last time in her life.

You stifled a sob as you let go of her hand. You’ve lost Franco and now Esme too.

You walked through the forest, making your way to the mountain Esme mentioned.

-

“Madam President, the city states have been seized and are under troop surveillance.”

“Wonderful, let the Chief in Command proceed with the plan. We mustn’t delay the delivery.”

“Yes, Madam President,” the female assistant walked out of the President’s office, the same one when the announcement was first made. President Mendez let out a soft hum and stared down at the files in her hands.

“Tonight, we will change lives Doctor Ramirez,” she spoke as Doctor Ramirez walked closer to her desk.

“Yes, we will Madam President and it’s all thanks to your help. Without your sponsorship, we couldn’t have progressed so quickly with our research,” Doctor Ramirez was a tall and lanky man with glasses. His hair was neatly parted at the side and his white coat shielded the suit he was wearing underneath. He exuded wealth and power, much like the President herself.

President Mendez laughed and clapped her hands slowly, “Oh.. Doctor Ramirez, you are too humble.”

“Not all Madam President… not at all,” he replied with a quiet tone. His eyes unreadable.

-

The path to La Sénte Mountain was a rough one. It’s one of the biggest mountains in San Bandero that has been classified as unreachable. There was an abandoned trail that originally was used for horse riding but ever since the country got ruled over by President Mendez, everything turned industrial.

Trees aligned the rail as the tall grass reached up your shins. It had gotten dark by the time the bombs and the shootings all faded in the background. As you took a step up, you turned back to look at the city that was once your home become occupied by soldiers. The helicopter flashed its light in search for citizens. There was smoke and fire coming out of the city from where you stood.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. With a sigh, you continued your trail up the mountain. Unknown to you that you were being watched by eyes hidden in the grass, trees, and bushes.

Hours passed and it was now some time past midnight. You took a break to catch your breath. Sitting down on a rock, you took out the piece of paper Esme gave you.

It was a small map with the word ‘Insurgents’ on it. The map was a layout of Pruye, it contained information about where each government and army building was located around the coast as well as the center of the country.

You tucked it back into your pocket not before hearing a twig snap. Anxiety quickly coursed through your veins and you got up to leave. Whatever was out there was probably not friendly given the current uprising in the country.

With a force against your feet, you kept climbing up the mountain. Climbing for what felt hours until you saw an orange light emitting from a cave.

Fire. Someone had lit up a camp inside a cave in the mountain.

You gripped the edge of the cave and pulled your body up. As you entered, you were immediately met with guns pointed at you. There were about four men pointing their rifles at you as you climbed up. A woman came up to you and dragged you up by your arm, helping you stand on your feet.

There was a table right in the center of the cave with a lantern. And behind that table stood a woman with a scar across her face. Her eye a different color as the scar ran right through it.

“Hold your weapons,” she raised her hand to stop the men from shooting you. The men took two steps back and slowly lowered their weapons. The woman who helped you up left your side and walked back to where the other woman was standing.

“I assume you were told about us,” she began as she went around the table and walked to stand in front of you. She was taller than you by at least two inches. Her hair was short and black. Her skin tanned and full of freckles.

You nodded and took out the note Esme gave you, “A friend of mine told me to come here.”

The woman took the note and inspected it before giving it to the woman who helped you up.

“Another recruit, Esme was really good at recruiting more people,” she said casually. Your eyes widened, she knew Esme?

“I don’t suppose you know what we do or who we are?” She walked back to the table and motioned for you to follow behind her.

As you neared the table, there were papers scattered around messily. Maps and files with important information. The woman turned to you and took out her hand for a handshake, “Name’s Yanira. Welcome to Insurgents.”

You took her hand and shook it with a firm grip, “Insurgents? What are you guys?”

She let go of your hand and focused back down on the table, “We are an organization looking to overthrow President Mendez from her position. She and her minions have been controlling our land far too long. It’s time we claim back what’s ours.”

An anti-government group. And they’re fighting the Pruyanian government for freedom. You furrowed your brows and stared down at the table as well as Yarina kept speaking, “We need as many people as possible if we want to make this happen. You’ve seen how they treat people back in the city states. Why don’t you join us?”

You looked at her with wide eyes, “What? Why would you want me to join? I don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

Yarina chuckled softly, “You’ll learn. We’ve got plenty of people who can teach you different things,” she leaned closer to you, “We’ve been preparing for this moment. All we need is more help. And you- I have a feeling you can help us big time,” she whispered and then leaned away.

She focused back on the table and continued discussing whatever it was that she was talking to the other people.

Join them? You can help them? Up until now you were just a girl working in a canteen living paycheck to paycheck. And now everything turned upside down. The army has taken control of four city states and you’ve lost more people.

It was no lie that a war was coming but to actually partake in it was terrifying, at least to you. But witnessing how everyone seemed to have the spirit and the faith that everything will work out in their favor is beginning to persuade you.

What more do you have to lose? You’ve lost your family and now your friends. It’s time to fight back for what was once yours.

“Okay,” you nodded slowly and looked at Yarina.

“I’ll join you.”

Yarina smiled brightly and hung an arm around your shoulders, celebrating with the other insurgents.

It all felt so overwhelming yet so real. This was happening and there was no turning back.

“Okay, here’s everything you need to know so far,” Yarina pointed to the map.

“The coast has been guarded up by the navy army of Pruye. President Mendez sent out an order to not let anyone in or out of the country. The ports have been closed and the soldiers are patrolling the beach.”

She then pointed to the center of Pruye, right on San Bandero, “San Bandero has become the military center of the country and is where most of the soldiers have been patrolling. This is where their control comes from. If we can target and destroy their center from this point then we have a chance at liberating the other city states.”

You furrowed your brows, “It’s not easy. I’ve seen what they brought. Tanks and helicopters. Are you sure you want to target them first? What about the civilians?”

Yarina let out a soft exhale, “We can perform an underground evacuation- some of our soldiers will go in the sewers and take people out of the city towards the forest. Once the people have been evacuated, we will proceed and attack the main tower.” She then pointed to a tall building colored in red right in the middle of the map.

“This is where most of the military controls the country. If we can hijack and steal their data, then we can convince the rest of the country to join us. And we can also delay the soldiers from terrorizing other city states.”

She already had a plan for everything. No wonder Esme knew about this. If this group was this good then that means that there’s hope for liberation.

“Okay…” you began slowly, “What do you need me to do?”

“You, my friend, have a special mission,” she slid a piece of paper your way.

“The United States will send some troops over here to aid President Mendez. I want you to go back to San Bandero with a few of my people and infiltrate their meeting location,” her finger pointed to another building on the map, “This place is called La Fundación de Membario. It is heavily guarded by soldiers. The place is where President Mendez is currently staying at. She’s going to personally welcome the Americans and give them a run down of what Pruye has been up to. She’ll most likely tell them about us and knowing her-“ her tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth as she stared at you.

“She’ll want the Americans to target us.”

You pinched your brows together and looked back down at the files of the American soldiers that were expected to come, “But why is the U.S. sending their military over here?”

“Because President Mendez sent an emergency alert to their President. She declared her country was threatened by us and needed backup. So, the U.S. playing God in all wars- decided to send their people over here to control us.”

You looked up at her from the files as she spoke again, “But you know what I think? I think they don’t stand a chance against us. We know the country better than anyone. They’ll die right before they can touch land,” she replied quietly.

She sounded like she wasn’t lying. It was a promise to herself and to the people of Pruye.

“When do I start?” You asked after putting the files back down on the table.

“Tomorrow morning. You can stay at our camp and we’ll teach you the basics. For now, you should rest. We’ve a long day tomorrow,” she patted your shoulder and walked deeper into the cave. The other insurgents gave you a look and some gave you a firm nod as they followed their leader.

You exhaled shakily as you looked out the cave. From now on, you were a soldier. No longer the girl working in a canteen. That life was long gone.

You were now part of the Revolution.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #id leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon #di leon

[sweetest-honeybee]

Some people do kinda suck but I find a lot of joy in giving people really specifics compliments at my job and it makes their whole day sometimes c: 💛

#I had a very enthusiastic conversation about a lady’s hair and the way it was cut #she cut it herself! #I often like to tell some women that their purse is very nice and they’re usually very proud of their purses I’ve found #I will tell some people sometimes that the color of their shirt is so fitting for their skin tone and was a great choice that day #I expressed once to a customer that I loved the prints of his shirts and he came by one day in this one particular shirt #hoping I’d be there apparently because he wanted me to see the shirt because I love his style! #it’s so nice #I had a lady blushing once from head to toe because I said she looks like the perfect example of a woman #that face every artist draws for that reference #she was so beautiful #haha I like compliments on men’s facial hair too! #they’re proud of their facial hair a lot of the time #even soemthing as simple as they look amazing for their age which I’ve said many many times #like I said some people suck and I have yet to truly meet the bad eggs but man I just really like seeing them light up #when you compliment the littlest things they put hardly any effort into and think maybe nobody will even notice #I like pointing out those things

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[thisloev]

i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack

#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS?? #she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se #and she likes kpop and kdramas #but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still #but we were talking about something and oh my god #when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you #two will like each other #and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭 #so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden #and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok #and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too? #but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then #she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual #THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling #my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face #to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay #but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut #up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying #we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it #and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭 #now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny #she could tell everyone my parents could find out #but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me #and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be #friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids #and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad #so no harm #i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her #for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it #literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD

[isfjmel-phleg]

!

#random personal stuff #was on the phone with my mom and she was telling me about a phone call she had with *her* mom #in which my grandmother was telling her that she (Mom) would have been so proud of me for the way I read tributes at my aunt's memorial #back in January #and Mom wanted me to know that she told Grandma that she is *always* proud of me #....and wow #wow that meant a lot #when I was growing up it was always 'don't say you're proud of your children because pride is a sin so say well-pleased instead' #(and let's be real - no one's really saying 'well-pleased' either) #so for her to say that and then want me to know she said it - that was something special #very grateful for that #I needed that today

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

#ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #I Love Yoo #Kousuke Hirahara #Shinhye #idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore #and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name #so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol #alas #anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March #literally said 'It's all downhill from here' #which I take to mean til the timeskip #BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______; #i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it #Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____; #I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop #i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl #to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace #all the opportunities he lost #the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted #he lost himself in the process #or maybe he never even got to know himself #i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad #that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked #so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of #FUCKING DEVASTATED #I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS

[todayisafridaynight]

RGG FINALLY MAKES THE SMARTEST BUSINESS DECISION OF THEIR LIVES

#snap chats #SHUT UUUUUPP FINALLY #me and every mother fucker like 'id KILL for a bunchan plush' and it only took like. 18 fucking years #WHOLE ASS ADULT #shitting and crying shitting and cying #i love how the second rgg started to acknowledge their audience they started producing plushes #like it feels like the days after that initial clip went out we been seein these bitches come out in the works and im a Big Fan #like you get it team..... im so proud of you.... please take my money im beggin.... #i dont even know which one id want theyre all so cute and im too poor to get all of them #cause i know damn well im gonna have to talk to a contact in japan again to get one shipped to me #ts ok its a living... #anyway persoal tag ramble time get out #yesterday was asctually fine :) i went to the mall and decided to get my bro. A Bunch Of Shit as an apology #but then i texted my sister bout the sitch and grew up a bit so i went to dinner with the fam #then i talked to my sis after dinner and she said she was gonna help me Deal With Things so. good day i guess :) #ok thats all from me i wanna shower BYE

[oatbugs]

i still feel fine except once every few hours my eyes will just start tearing up randomly 😭 anyway LOVE WINS !!!

#she said im very attractive but she cant imagine fucking me x #and also she feels no romantic attachment to me #LOVE WINS !!!!!!!!!!!! #their hair smelled so nice #they revealed they were in fact dating smn btw !! contrary to previous info ! but that they will probably maybe let them go #i felt Entirely Fine hearing that information. LOVE WINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #the ur cute thing and the proud dad thing are from them btw #they do text like a millenial in fact x (context for the proud dad thing is we got stopped in the street by some ppl asking abt our fits) #(to post on instagram or w/e and they volunteered me as tribute and took photos of me and said they were a proud dad) #(i said thats weird i wouldnt make out w my dad and they said but were just besties at which point i pushed them onto the [empty] street)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

girl help

#the only two girls I actually honestly get along with and enjoy hanging out with #are two girls who both have parents who go to our church but they're like in their early 20s #and are kind of rebelling and not sticking to their faith super well at this point in their lives #which like I can UNDERSTAND even if I don't APPROVE of. I'm the most faithful of the three of us tbh :/ #like they've both made some (imo not SUPER damaging. I've seen plenty of young women come back from stuff like this) mistakes #and despite that I like them and like to chat with them and stuff. but my mom has said that she's proud of me for NOT #hanging out with them because they're not the kind of people I should be friends with #so how do I explain to her that like. people make mistakes. even bad ones sometimes. and they still have a pretty solid #foundation in both of their sets of parents and I don't see any actual huge issue with being friends with them #like.... these are the ONLY girls my age who have actively invited me to be friends. I would LIKE to be friends #I just ran into one of them and she asked if I wanted to go to the farmer's market together this weekend. how do I tell my mom #without her Disapproving because of this girl's current issues in keeping with her faith??? #how do *I* make up my mind if it's even ok to be friends with these girls. idk how it works!!!!