#to know like. yeah. this is where ill be for the next years. bc lately my life has been just nothing like that

[hogoflight]

INCREDIBLY UPSETTING (me. It’s upsetting me.) HYPOTHETICAL VARIATION OF HYACINTHUS’ DEATH & REBIRTH:

OK we’ve got “Apollo grieves Hyacinthus so so so much he will not let him fully die and he becomes the Hyacinthus flowers”. And he is somewhat sentient as flowers. But how would Apollo feel, knowing and realising that every single year, Hyacinthus is dragged up from death to be reborn and split into thousands of little pieces of himself, to feel every single piece of himself dying and rotting and decaying individually, mere months after feeling a remote shadow of the life he once had? And this happens every single year!

WORSE THOUGHT: WHAT IF HYACINTHUS ASCENDS. and Apollo sees him alive again and he cries and sobs and clutches him so so tightly and is so relieved that he’s back and Hyacinthus is crying and laughing and holding him upright and they embrace and for a few months everything is so, so wonderful. Then Hyacinthus falls… ill. He shows signs of being poisoned. Soon, he cannot leave their bed, and sooner, he is gone once more. Apollo is utterly and wholly inconsolable, but not as inconsolable as he is next spring, once he sees Hyacinthus standing, once again, at the gates of Olympus, shaken and silent and slightly colder than he was last time.

How would they cope? Desperately holding and kissing each other (and yeah also doing each other) out of fear the next day may be one of Hyacinthus’ last, and as a way of trying to show how much they care without actually talking about anything? What if Hyacinthus grows jaded and his self-disgust takes root and grows as he sees how completely destroyed his Apollo has become out of worry of grief for him? How would Hyacinthus feel, knowing that even through climbing out of the underworld, through Greece, up Mount Olympus and through its gates, Apollo could and would only look at him like he’s already grieving for him (or maybe he never stopped)? What if they grow to feel deeply sick at the sight of each other for a tense, uncomfortable while? What if this snaps one day when Hyacinthus is very, very late for his usual arrival, when Apollo suddenly realises he chose to stay down, alone in Greece, Without him, to avoid seeing him again?

And what if, eventually, they learn to live with this cycle? What if they move to Hyperborea when Hyacinthus arrives (OKok this doesn’t make wider sense but IT’S OK) so they can see the world together, see what’s changed in the year he was gone, and spend the more of the moments they have gently basking in each others’ presence while they have it? What if every time Hyacinthus is brought above the ground once more, he visits places and friends he’s made in Greece, catches up with them, brings souvenirs and gifts and greetings to Apollo once he reaches him?

I imagine Aphrodite fits into this by either being the one to carry Hyacinthus into Olympus every time, out of care, or helping Hyacinthus on his journey to Olympus. which is very relevant bc he could choose to just stay in Greece during spring But also Of Course he goes to Olympus (almost…) every single time bc that’s where his love is. (His journey up to Olympus is therefore motivated by love and there’s no better person to guide that journey than the goddess of love herself!)

#YELLING #hyacinthus #apollo #IM SORRY… #(Artemis w Polyboea but i dont know anything about the potential religious context of that so. Assuming it works as a one time thing here!) #death #tw death #temporary death

[munamania]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know

#abby talks

[foolcrum57]

YESYESYES TELL US ABOUT YOUR OCS PLEASEEEEEE <:DDD

ok this is message is from me whos about to post this after typing all of it. there is . A Lot here so im gonna put it under a readmore but the copious amount of infodumping is just what i do when people ask about my ocs... hope this isnt too long or overwhelming to read lol..

OMG OK ok so i collectively call all my oc stuff "wttu" (welcome to the universe) but i have 2 seperate oc universes (i have a lot of ocs) ones called godsworld and ones called newsworld. newsworld is really random & spotaneous & where i dump all my silly ocs and godsworld is the more coherent one with a solid storyline & worldbuilding. i feel like talking about godsworld ocs right now so that's what ill do ! ok so quick synopsis. godsworld is a multiverse comprised of many dimensions, all created by three gods named time, choice, and destiny. magic is real and common and magicians have existed since the beginning of time. there's also a few very special super magical very powrful beings / demigods called all-seers which were specifically "blessed"(idk how else to put it) by the gods. these are the 4 all-seers as of godsworlds present:

(sorry for the doodles im drawing these as i type) william and miso were created by the gods and given allseer powers later in life and around 200 years later the same thing happened to gertrude and mitchell after they met william and miso (yeah these guys are like ancient immortal people i call them the four immortals) anyways that's like the ancient stuff lore so now let's get to the main stuff the main storyline of godsworld centers around a kid named tobias , and a guy named cremini finding out they're going to be the next two allseers, mainly because of their connections to tobias' late father (and creminis ex classmate ex roomate and sort of ex boyrfriend) Larry.

and like. that's kinda where the lore and worldbuilding part gets vauge because the present is kind of just these guys having adventures and doing fun stuff while honing their magic skills. there's still a little more to talk about though.

after living out his childhood in a town called santerton, tobias went to live in a magical sanctuary in a dimension that the four immortals made and where miso and william live called the Home(creative i know) where he met 3 other guys around his age that are now his besties ;

parker is royalty from a dimension that's still in the 1800s (hes pretty smug and arrogant both bc of his upbringing and also just because that's his personality), carson is a city kid from a dimension that's still in the 90's (he's a pretty chill guy despite his circumstances and the oldest out of all 4), and daniel's from a remote fishing town in a dimension that's somewhere in the 2010s (who ironically, loves fishing and is also just really energetic and hearty in general). on the other hand, cremini, after finishing college at a very prestigious school for time and dimension studies that mitchell teaches at and fulfilling his childhood dream of time traveling and then accidentally throwing himself into a white void Because Emotions, met. this guy.

his name is dylan. and he is now cremini's boyfriend and they live together. he loves books and reading (which he gained a love for after gertrude [who is a librarian] helped him with pushing through his dyslexia). honestly idk what else to type, that's kinda just the general gist of the main characters in godsworld but there is like a lot of lore and history and a solid timeline with lots of stories and characters in the whole world of godsworld as well as a lot of worldbuilding stuff that i didnt touch on so i think the fact that this is a relatively consice recap says. a lot. anyways if you read down to here i genuinely appreciate it and um please dont hesitate to ask more ocs questions wether that be in my asks or dms or whatever <3

#crumling #wttu: godsworld #<- tag for godsworld since i actually made a real post about it yipee #oc stuff #<-ill chnange this once i think of a better tag lol...

[shrunkupthejams]

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

#not writing related #ps.txt #goddamn that is long im sorry #but hiiii mutuals im baaaack(?) :) #i missed y'all + tumblr <3

[skullrock]

i have to use my tumblr as a diary bc i have no one else to talk to i fear 🫶🏻

if ur reading this i am going to be talking about illness and death so pls be advised

my grandma pretty much raised me when i was a kid and was the first person really to know i was gay (even before i knew lmfao) and she was genuinely my bestest friend in the world up until i was like 11 and started middle school. she taught me how to sew and she let me try on her vintage jewelry and gave me her mom’s jewelry when i was like 10 which was very nice of her. we used to sit on her countertop and make pepperoni rolls from scratch and honestly they’re like the worst pepperoni rolls you’d ever have but she taught me how to make them so they were actually the best in the world. we would watch cooking channel and she would tell me all about cowboys she used to have crushes on. i used to make up stories about roy rogers while sitting in her kitchen and i would do just about anything and say just about anything to make her and the rest of my family laugh.

two months ago she had a devastating stroke - she’s 92 years old. we didn’t get her to the hospital in a very timely manner because we didn’t realize she had a stroke until WAY late and the doctor told us it was 50/50 whether she would be okay or not. that was one of the worst nights of my life. next day she woke up and was talking!! moving!! smiling!! joking!! it was literally a fucking miracle and i still can’t believe she was okay after that. but the doctors wanted her to go to physical therapy bc she just needed some help getting her legs/arms/speech working again so she went to an independent inpatient which was basically a nursing home. she was there for 12 days and got ZERO CARE. to the point where she developed two bedsores, one very major. the facility did not even tell us she had it when she was discharged and my family found it on their own. a visiting nurse said the bedsore was stage 4 severe. i’m not going to elaborate on that bc it’s very gross but YEAH very bad stuff.

she was literally fine until the end of her stay at the inpatient place when the bedsore got worse. when she came home she stopped eating and drinking and became very lethargic. she went to wound care and they did some work on it but she still wasn’t doing well. she just went to the hospital again and they did surgery on the bedsore in hopes that it would clear up, but my grandma is still having a hard time eating and drinking.

they just put her on hospice and i am fucking. devastated. i’m devastated. she’s a shell of who she was a month and a half ago. she’s hardly able to speak. she can’t take care of herself, she can’t get up. she can’t eat and can’t drink. so now it’s a waiting game to see when she finally succumbs. and not being able to talk to her is the most horrible part of it. i visited her in the inpatient place a few weeks ago and i had no idea that was the last time i would have a conversation with her. it makes me feel so fucking sick every time i think about it. i won’t get to hear her say that she loves me again, i won’t be able to tell her what’s going on in my life, we won’t be able to talk about cowboy movies anymore. i’m so upset it is unreal. this is the first major loss i’ll ever experience and nothing could ever prepare me for it.

i just went to go see her tonight and my mom has been telling me that she isn’t talking or smiling when people visit her. i was expecting to get my heart broken but she actually smiled when she saw me. she couldn’t say anything but she smiled at me and now i’m so scared that’s the last time i’ll see it. because i have a stupid full time job an hour away from her and i might just end up getting the call after the fact.

this just fucking sucks !!!! i don’t have anyone to talk to about it it feels like. my mom is emotionally exhausted and is “taking it a day at a time” which good for her but terrible for me bc she won’t open up about things or let me talk about them. my dad is just like shrugging about it and so is my sister (who was never that close with her). and i think a lot of people in my life are sympathetic but they’re also like “yeah she had a stroke at 92 what did you expect :/“. like i know she is going to die of course but this is happening so fast. and so fast after she made such a miraculous recovery. and i can’t even be with her because of my job. i have to work both days this coming weekend for events and i’m so terrified that she will pass when i’m at work. but i have no backup! there’s no one that can take over for me if she passes or is on her last leg!!! and it’s sucks!!!

i just needed to rant i don’t think anyone will read this. but i feel a little better just getting it off my chest. ok love u if u did read it im going to finish crying now

#han talks

[lettersformiah]

9:37am, 7 jul

hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

[1d1195]

HAHAH OMG I love that you tell your bf you’ve known Harry longer than him! I mean you’re not wrong?! And not 1D in your collage?! Honestly love that lol but aww omg it’s so cute that your classroom also has a bit of Harry too! I bet it’s adorable!

I love target too! I love spending there and it’s oddly relaxing for me even though in others stores I’m fighting for my life lol

Also HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW PICS OF HARRY?! He just looks so good 😭

Omg I use to LOVE Lizzie McGuire growing up and I would obsess over the Lizzie McGuire movie! And I was so down bad for Chad Michael Murray in Freaky Friday like he made my head spin as a child lol and I heard Noah on the radio the other day and I immediately thought of you! Also idk if you saw or anything but didn’t Noah cover Falling by Harry on an insta live??? I think I saw a clip of it??

I would say my music taste isn’t that broad or diverse soley bc once I find something I like I stick with it lol like the hyper fixating lasts a while lol or sometimes it’s just really obscure artists lol But I would say some of my faves would be Arctic Monkeys, Lana Del Rey, The Marias, Laufey, Lorde and lately I have been obsessed with the song Tell it to my Heart by Taylor Dayne! I probably have more but like I said it’s just all over the place! Oh and there are some other artists that I listen too in Spanish! And I often listen to instrumental/classical music lol ITS A LOT lol

The dentist is a scary place and plus who wants a stranger looking in your mouth like?! I don’t blame you! But yay be proud of your growth!!! Even being a little less scared and more okay going to the dentist is such a win!! Also I didn’t know that 🐱 anon was responsible for the inspo of MADE TO BE, NEIGHBORS AND LIEK ZIPPER?!?!? THQTS SO WILD?!? But honestly so cool! I love all those stories so much!

And I could NEVER mind bestie! Literally do whatever you please!

And I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner :( the universe HATES ME! Yesterday took my math final(that was something lol) and i had happened to get my period early :( AND I THINK IM GETTING SICK??😭 very sad honestly bc im not even done with all my exams :( ANWAYS the only plus side of yesterday was this hot guy who sat next to me and we got talking a bit 😌

i hope you’re okay! You know I always love talking with you!!!!

ALSO I SAW THE DING POST AND IM VERY EXCITED!!!!-💜

I literally have 4x6 photos of him on my wall at school and my students (who are INSANE and don't know who Harry is) at the beginning of the year are like "is that your bf?" and I usually tell them "in my head, yes" and point out the pics of my actual bf and they're like "he looks like Harry" and I'm "yeah, I have a type 🤭"

I would get married in the Starbucks at Target. That would be my ideal venue. For a honeymoon we would go to the clothing section.

I'll have to check out that song! and I totally know what you mean about diverse music tastes. I also stick to pretty much the same three things I really had to dig in the archives of my brain to get that info out for you.

Oh yes! 🐱 is my biggest Made to Be supporter! That's how I "met" her! I think she helped me continue the story--at least the last five parts minimum. Neighbors was entirely her premise and I just ran with it! One of the Zipper Extras I was totally stuck on and I think she had the idea of where I needed to go. She's a wealth of knowledge and help whenever I need it most 💕

I DID SEE THE PICS OF HIM. THIS version of him is the star of Ding 😊 He's delicious. So effortlessly beautiful I could scream. I'm glad you like the idea of Ding, I'm excited about it!

That's my bad bestie, we must have synced up via our telepathic connection. What a series of unlucky events on St. Patty's weekend no less. A math final, your period, and illness. You should get a lottery ticket, sounds like you'll hit it big. BUT A HOT GUY DO TELL MORE

I hope the rest of your finals go smoothly and I hope that you feel better ASAP. I'm doing alright. I need a mental health day. I'm spreading myself too thin but I don't think I'm going to get a real break until next next Friday the 29th 😭 but we'll see. Maybe I'm just being extra.

thanks for sending a message even when you're not feeling well. I hope the math final wasn't too bad, I would have given you all my good math vibes if I knew ahead of time but I'll do it retroactively just the same!

xoxo

#💜

[lostacelonnie]

Whoops i lost track of this one my bad. Discord messaging is so much easier with the notification staying there. Anyways. Hell yeah getting to be not near people you do lnt vibe with is the best love that for you. Ah yeah gulls will just be an asshole about anything so at least they gave warning? Still dont like em though. Australian magpies are probably worse. Thanks! I adore german & it just. Having very specific words for things. So im excited to dig into that. Oh i didnt know that but honestly not surprised by it. Another piece of history from nazi germany to add to stuff i know. History was never my like. Favorite subject but i try to study it where i can. Its important. Mobile gave me bronya finally so its goin well & seele is coming back in 1.4 so maybe ill be able to get her & bronya both. Though i find it weird that we're heading back to belobog already? I havent even finished the next story part yet though. I havent used fire trailblazer much yet but will when i have more of her eidolons. Theyre both real fun rcg was short so i beat it quick still workin on dredge. Ill let you know how rain world goes for sure. Oh very nice. I finally did mine into purple & it looks really good im gonna keep up on it i think. Ive been breaking off from both to play other stuff but 4.1 fontaine is still fun to explore i love it. Cant wait for furina to drop. Oh shit history exam i hope that went well for you.i will say bronya is nice to have especially with kafka. Give her a turn boost to get her follow up action back works real nice. Damn that is. So much stuff but sounds so worth it. For all the merch & the choker who doesnt love a good choker

OH ITS OK IT APPEARS THAT SO HAVE I. AHHH. IM SORRY. schools been a Lot lately [7 tests this week......] and im going to alicante next week so its probably not gonna get easier for me to respond soon..... and oh yeah it totally is. i ❤ discord cos i can at least give ppl Signs Of Life instead of silence. anyways. THANK YOU!! ive been having a lot of fun with the new group lately its great. and yeah they really are ajdkfkjfj im Thankful for the warning yeah. and also that not even a single gull tried to steal my food. ooh tell me ab it i havent heard any australian magpie horror stories...... and yeah as i said. german is Such a nice language, i esp agree with the words bc theyre just. Great. love em. but yeah didnt have much luck in my previous years of learning it. and oh well the more you know!! honestly it was never MY favorite either bc, even tho ive always found it interesting, i just. could never remember anything. but honestly now that im on hist-geo its really growing on me ahdjfkkgj. probably also because i have a cool teacher. AND HEY CONGRATS ON THE BRONYA and good luck with getting seele!!! i have Not opened star rail even once recently [<- was only playing the game to get wolfie and kafka] so idrk whats been happening. have fun tho!! fire trailblazer IS good with her eidolons but tbh i just never had the energy to build her. and ah epic!!!!!! and yes please do keep me updated if you end up playing rain world!!!!!! its sooooo good its so good. AND AHHH NICE!!!! i want to do mine purple someday but i have a pretty dark natural hair color so id have to bleach it and i dont really Wanna Do That yet. and fair ahsjfkfk ive actually been playing genshin More recently, at least when i have time. which is not often. IM ALSO SO SO SO EXCITED FOR FURINA I HAVE LIKE 170 WISHES SAVED ALREADY................... anyway!!! it did actually!!!! but were doing pretty easy material rn so well see how it goes in the future ajdjhfjg....... it is what it is. and ah yeah that does sound like a pretty good team actually...... and yeah it def was!!!!! havent gotten a chance to wear the choker out yet [<- scared of old ladies on the bus] nut im Going To

#apologies if this is short!!!! i havent gotten a moment to relax since i woke up at 6am and its almost 9pm #hell world but we ball #pen pals

[just-some-random-blogger]

meowmeow, lovie!! good morning/day/evening! im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company. 'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!! you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!! im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!) actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me. andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious. 'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet. tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes* there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture. i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з 'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence. 'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable. papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent. 'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it! WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning. i crave learning more about filipino! yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name. 'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this. a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie. 'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd. please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols 2) i wanna sleep 3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me.. just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з

HELOO LOVE

im ready T_T i might just type everything i lost last night

im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company.

T_T it's ok i told you not to apologize ur not the reason i was sad but i was hoping to talk to you. T_T its ok as long as you reply im good u have a life beyond tumblr girl its fine. here are your clown emojis 🤡🤡🤡 please take care of yourself

'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!!

ive been meaning to watch the episode with the 10th and 11th doctor with my mummy but T_T there's no subtitles T_T and matt like mumbling in the beginning and we dont have a speaker and T_T sad RIP maybe i'll at least watch that episode

you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!!

T_T Спасибо, любимый

im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!)

geez i listened to this song before fully reading your reply and T_T i thought it was the song you wanted me to sing so i was like DAMN ITS GOOD but then i realized i slowly regretted saying id sing anything for you even if its in russian T_T ALSO I CANT MAKE THE BACKING TRACK/MUSIC ITS EDM AINT NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT but now that ive read this in its entirety im glad your not making me sing it but HAHAH YOU KNOW I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIAN AHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAH i'll try to learn it it has an interesting melody but lol we'll see HAAHAHH

the genre im mostly drawn to has rock vibes but i like all music to a certain degree so pls i hope its english (or filipino HAHHAH)

actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me.

i see it really does have have quite a strong ambiance so i can understand why you are drawn to it. i actually like this song! i love how you describe your feeling with music, this is how i feel about music. btw... are you in high school? i- i suddenly tried to think of what youre studying but i cant ?? think of anything omg T_T [are you a minor] YOURE NOT RIGHT? arent you 19? T_T HELP

andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious.

YES and no but yes but idk i wanted to write it but now i dont T_T it be like that

'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet.

HAHHAAH BUT THAT LITERALLY MEANS YOU THINK IM A CHILL HIPPIE HAHAHAHAAHA

tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes*

im not going to give you star emojis because i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt and i dont support that

there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture.

not really rebellious per se, more of like i think its necessary to speak out against the status quo if the status quo is bad and harmful and anti-people and pro-elite etc. i hope that guy is ok. ✊

i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з

lol thanks idk what i feel about the nickname but i love you <3

'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence.

T_T

'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable.

tbh i wouldnt call it a tradition its like a social norm to eat rice... ig culture? is more appropriate. its nice that you have parallelism with bread. and omg young people dont lke bread AHAHHA that's ? so funny lol its weird to think yall just out there eating .... idk fried chicken T_T DAMN WITH NO RICE T_T

papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent.

T_T HAHAHA what's the equivalent?

'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it!

OK im going to take this oppurtunity to talk to you again about sandman because that was the highlight of my message before i ctrl zed but FIRST LET ME SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT

ok were safe team

OK so yesterday ??? or was it yester NO IT WAS YESTERDAY i went to the library and read the chonky sandman megabig comic and i absolute loved the issue with Nada and Dream

now i have a new perspective in this because i feel like i was internally misogynistic towards Nada after watching this video about likable female characters (you dont have to watch it but this channel is very nice) anyway this vid basically talked about how female characters are only 'good' if they're likeable whereas male characters can be good regardless of that and it made me think about this issue cos i felt more sympathy towards dream than nada and at one point i had feelings of annoyance with nada but Lasflahsf NOW i cant remember if it was before i read that issue or after but i recall having catharsis over how i treated nada after typing my thoughts about it to you

anyway as im typing this now, i also realized that its ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada because i mean i had been following dream throughout the other issues so its not weird to have me have stronger feelings about dream rather than nada

but anyway, i still felt that both of them were problematic in their own way and i'll just quickly go through why and why i love that issue the most

so nada ^^^^ is dream's first love T_T [CRYING] solely because [CRYING] she was the only person who said they loved him and actually sought him out [CRYING] MANS SUPER HUNGRY FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP ITS SO SAD and yeah because of that dream was like LASFHASFHAL I LOVE YOU TOO NADA I WANT YOU TO BE QUEEN OF THE DREAMING T_T [CRYING]

but like stupid mortals be T_T [sigh] nada, who had been warned by a bird king not to seek out the 'man' she was in love with because he was NOT a man was like 'but i still love him' then met dream, had the whole be my queen shebang and when she realized he was not human she was AW SHIT BIRD KING WAS RIGHT (bird king is a literal bird btw AHHHA) and was like dream we cant be together im sorry i was stupid pls let me go this is bad

but dream was like [pls i love you T_T i want you pls i need love]

[CRYING]

so nada desperately goes through all these things to evade dream the worst of which is she even defiles herself by taking her maidenhood WITH A ROCK (it's not to say that a woman impure because she is not a virgin or that she is anything based on their virginity bUT I SAY DEFILE BECAUSE DAMN THAT FUCKING HURTS AND SHE WAS SO DESPERATE TO REPEL DREAM TO DO THAT) but dream is like T_T social constructs such as this matter not to me im not a human pls i love you i want you be my queen

{CRYING}

AND POOR FUCKING NADA SHES LIKE ON HER KNEES BEGGING BUT DREAM FUCKING BEING DREAM IS LIKE PLSSSSSSSSSSSS but ig also he's kinda hot cos nada was like ok thats kinda hot that you dgaf about social norms so they make love on top of the mountain

BUT THEN THE FUCKING SUN IS LIKE WHAT IS THIS HERESY WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE SIN THAT A MORTAL AND AN ENDLESS HAVE SHARED UNION THEN FUCKING BURNS NADA'S ENTIRE VILLAGE ////:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk thats fucking petty of the sun if it was so bad it shudda burned nada no? but then again nada is the princess of the tribe so 😬😬😬😬😬🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 its cold hard reality the people have to suffer for their rulers' mistakes

and so when they woke nada was like ???? my people are dead T_T CRYING FUCK then jumps of the cliff and dies

NOW THIS PETTY FUCK DREAM COMES TO HER AND IS LIKE nada i love you then you betrayed me (ok this isnt the petty part because she willingly had sex with him on that mountain) then hes like youre choosing death over me (death is dreams sister so he was 100% jelly over this) and nada is like pls my people are dead because of me let me go

this is the part where i think well yeah theyre dead youre dead just be with dream forgetting that guilt exists lol AHHAHAHA

THIS IS THE PART WHERE DREAM IS PETTY COS HE WAS LIKE for betraying me i will punish you BUT if you agree to be my queen i;ll forgive you i;ll only ask you 3 times if you deny me 3 times im going to condemn you to fucking hell //////:

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

he petty AF for that wtf

so nada obviously is like no no pls dont make me say no again so dont ask me but DREAM PETTY AF AND I THINK THE COMIC EVEN SAID SOME SHIT ABOUT THAT AND SO DREAM

ASKED HER ANYWAY

and she said no and now she's in fucking HELLL AND BEEN IN HELL FOR MILLENIA

in one of the earlier issues + in the show dream sees nada when he goes to hell and asks him to release her and i think nada asks if he loves him and dream is smth like its been thousands of years of course i still love you BUT i stilll havent forgiven you T_T PETTY RAT

and i remember when i watched that i was like DAMN WHAT DID SHE DO HE PETTY AF and now that i know im like i see it but also he petty AF

UHH TEN THOUSAND YEARS THIS RAT PETTY AF

[end scene]

WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning.

AW THATS CUTE HAHAHAH love that for us #russianssecretlyfilipino #filipinossecretlyrussian

i crave learning more about filipino!

OK OK LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT JOSE RIZAL

this is him. it might not look like it but hes the original fuck boy HAHHAHA man had girlfriends all over the globe like pitbull who? he aint mr worldwide JOSE RIZAL is mr worldwife HAHHA LOL I TYPED THAT ON ACCIDENT AND SO REAL FINGERS SO REAL tho he never had a wife so /: HAHHAA

anyway he became the national hero because his work inspired the revolution and he did so with non violence so. i personally have a soft spot for andres bonifacio (the other candidate for national hero) but thats for another time

this andres btw

aNYWAY his most prolific works are 'noli mi tangere' which means 'touch me not' in spanish or 'like do not translate me' then its sequel 'el filibusterismo' or 'the Filibuster' in spanish whatever the fuck that means ok wikipedia says its It is sometimes referred to as "talking a bill to death" or "talking out a bill", and is characterized as a form of obstruction in a legislature or other decision-making body. whatever that means HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

so yeah he got killed for writing that lol cos he wrote it in spanish cos fuck you spain and then spain was like (: pew pew and shot him and he was like FUCK YOU YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOOT ME IN THE BACK IM GOING TO FACE YOU but he died before he could look at the firing squad so /:

side note the right pic is at rizal park which was where he was killed (it was renamed after him) and i remember going there for a field trip and being absolutely enamored by the story teller/tour guide who said the whole story and said the command by the spanish and the statues FIRED AT RIZAL AND I HAD A HEARTATTACK THEN AFTER IT ALL I WAS LIKE WOAH THAT WAS MEGA COOL but i dont remember what the spanish command was T_T rip i wish i knew so i could tell you any everyone else i want to tell this story to

HAHAHAH anyway unlike other works before jose rizal which was propaganda against the spanish, the works before rizal were like only allussions to opression but never direct. whereas rizal was like oh you see these spanish priests and all the governors THEYRE FUCKING L also you see how they treat the poor and farmers and fucking RAPE OUR WOMEN (: YALL ARE L FUCK YOU

and spain was like ? no fuck YOU bang bang (in before imprisoning him i think he only lived to be 30?) then after he died the revolutionaries called the katipuneros which is derived from (Dont freak out) the KKK (which means kataastaasan (the highest of the high) kagalanggalangang (the most respectable) katipunan (? like group or association, but also because of them katipunan kind of has this meaning of revolutionary or i guess to me) were like HELL NO LETS FUCKING GO SPAIN YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS FUCK YOU

(this is my absolute fav monument i remember seeing it for the first time as a child i was like DAMN THAT SWORD FUCKING LIT)

I MUST SAY the first time i heard of other KKK was in the black eyed peas song 'where is the love' and i was like HEY they dont like the kkk? why dont they like the kkk? how do they even know them? they fought for out freedom thats so mean of them not to like them in before my older brother said YOU IDIOT THAT NOT THE KKK THEYRE TALKING ABOUT T_T rip

enough of that

noli (we call it that so its short) basically follows this dude named crisostomo ibarra. in the first book he's just come home from abroad and is like i love it here then slowly is like WTF IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING and ... tbh its been a while i dont remember its entirety... but he fall in love with maria clara and theres this freaky rat ass priest that has ??? the hots for her but ??? hES SECRETLY HER FUCKING DAD? COS HE RAPED MARIAS MOM and maria also gets raped im not sure by who tho but FUCK THAT PRIEST (a priest rapes her) yeah its all very FUCK YOU she joins the convent because of that and i think because yeah crisostomo dies and shes like </3 i will never recover never love again

honestly dont quote me on this i could be getting so much wrong

then part 2 which is el fili (again shorted cos its too long) crisostomo ibarra who fucking dies in p1 comes back from the dead (cos he never died fr) as simoun and is like I DONT WANT PEACE I WANT PROBLEMS ALWAYS and plans to blow up a church or smth BECAUSE FUCK YOU SPAIN (honestly i cant remember) and marias like my beloved crisostomo T_T please come back to me and simoun is like WAIT WAIT IM COMING but maria is like fuck this shit and jumps off a fucking church cos life sucks

yeah the end thats about as much as i remember from the main plot but the books talk about a lot of social injustices too

my favorite (or should i even call it that T_T) is the piece about Cabesang Tales who is a farmer took barren land and made it fruitful and it took so long for it to be fruitful his wife and daughter died of fucking poverty then the church was like actually peasant this land belongs to God and by god i mean us gtfo this land and Cabesang Tales who was the picture of patience fucking snapped and was like FUCKING WORK YOUR BLEED BLOOD AND FIX THE LAND THEN BURRY YOUR WIFE AND CHILD HERE FIRST THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL I GIVE YOU THIS LAND

then bang (:

anyway they actually made a show about this! for once its not super cringe! its about this modern girl who goes 'back in time' or more like in the book and lives with the characters. i only watched ep1 & 2 and i havent even seen the cutie crisostomo yet so i have plans on watching it but idk when

HIHIHI THIS IS THEM Klay (the reader insert HAHAHAHAH) crisostomo then maria and i think slay <3 its actually available on youtube which is where im watching it but apparently it has no eng subs cos this one korean youtuber was complaining about it so yeah HAHHAHH the turned tables because we love kdramas here in the ph and complain if there arent eng subs on their shows HAHHAHAHA

HOLLUP LEMME JUST SAVE

ok were back this is such a long love letter

[end scene]

yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name.

its ok flan is not paramount to life HAHAHH unless you make flan for a living in which case it is quite important. #1 i mean russia-- SHE 'UGE MASSIVE YEAH so huge she said eurasia and like pluto tiny #2 fair. what is the similar thing?

'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this.

i see. interesting to know. what about vagon you have that word surely cos i remember watching captain america civil war and it was one of winter soldier's tick words somethingsomething vagon then its translation was like freight train and my mom was like omg thats filipino bagon was like not the train per se but the things connected to the train you get me which i can only assume comes from spanish vagón exists but its wagon according to google so HAHA i got you there

a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie.

I LOVE THIS STEREOTYPE TBH

'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain

<3 HIHI i love your big brain

ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd.

HAHAHAH yes it is very good i love it <3 now im hungry T_T

please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols

thats fine

2) i wanna sleep

valid i will never stop you from listening to your body clock

3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me..

<3 do well my love you got this is can be intimidating but dont worry too much about it you got this! its normal to be anxious but you will overcome it

just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з

i love you so much my dear thank you for being here for me i am likewise also always here for you <3 take care

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

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the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

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ultra mega super cool taglist

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[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #jennifer jareau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

[doodlebloo]

So like besides the fact that the streamers dont owe us anything which we all know I think my thing abt the lore drought is that lore is STILL HAPPENING eventually, it's just moving rlly slowly because the ccs are busy with school or work is solo projects or illness.

Like believe me I want lore back just as much as the next guy I have also been here for over a year and I also miss it. But people keep saying it's going to come back at some point. And yeah eventually that gets into an area of the boy who cried wolf where you stop believing them because its been so long, but that doesn't really work in this case bc like...

For example, season 2 of Tales didnt make the October deadline. But it'd be stupid to say it's Never happening, because why would Karl scrap that much work once Nov 1 hit? Doesn't make sense. It's still coming, just a little late. Same for lore.

So I don't think it's that you aren't paying attention to smaller streamers, it's that the ccs keep saying there will be more lore but because it doesn't come as fast as it used to everyone just decided they're like lying or theyve forgotten about it or scrapped it or something?

Because content used to be Multiple Hours of content Daily, like multiple people live on the server every day because they were in quarantine and were much smaller creators with a lot less content opportunities. So right now is the area of time where we've gotta learn to accept that content will never move that quickly again (at least for the dream smp)! It just isn't going to happen. That isn't a bad thing, but everyone got so used to having multiple several hour vods of their favorite streamers to watch every single day that now that it's slowed down a Week without content in this fandom feels more like a Month, in my opinion?

Idk tl;Dr you don't have to stop missing lore and it's fine to be sad the server is less active but like by saying that there will never be another lore stream plotlines will never go anywhere the server is done already etc you're like. Flat out ignoring several ppl on the server who have said they're working on stuff. Lore isn't dead or gone it's just slower because the ccs are busy (school, illness, two of them just travelled to other countries like a few weeks ago) so it takes a bit longer.

#idk. if you think lore is dead alrighty then 👍 #but i trust the ccs who say itll come back eventually. because #FORCING peoole to roleplay never results in anything good. not that anyone here is doing that but #im saying id rather wait for them to WANT to log on and get REALLY GOOD streams #than then have to cancel a meetup or pause their solo project or something and log on and be visibly not into the roleplay yonow? #/nm and not a vague of anyone these are just my thoughts :) #doodle.txt

[tastyykpop]

hii! can i request a jeno very angsty scenario where its his s/o and his anniversary but he forgets abt it bc the dreamies wanted to go to an amusement park and then the managers took his phone so when he comes home his s/o and him get into a fight and they dont talk to each other but she always goes their dance practices since his s/o is so used to taking care of him and he gets sad bc his s/o doesn't look at him at all and he's tired because since he's so stressed with the cbs he just wants love but he knows he's wrong and they make up and stuff:) I'm sorry if this is long! you dont have to do it if you dont want to:)<3

a/n: jdjsjsjsj thanks for this beefy request it was fun to write :)

[sᴀʟᴛʏ]

𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥,ƒℓυƒƒ

Sitting on your bed, you wondered when your boyfriend was coming home. After texting him where he was and wondering when he'd come pick you up to celebrate your guy's anniversary, youd started losing hope seeing as he never answered or bothered reading them. You knew jeno to always answer after just one second but it was like he was ignoring you.

Furious and heartbroken, you threw your phone on at the other side of the bed and decided to just take off the dress you were going to surprise him in. It was his favorite color too. A deep shade of blue silk, comfortable and cute yet still appropriate enough to wear at the fancy restaurant you guys were planning on going to. But those plans were thrown out the window quickly once you noticed how late it was.

"Why do men?" your eyes rolled as you moved in your bed, trying to get comfy.

"Why do men what?" You shot up in the bed from the sound of jenos voice as it basically frightened you back to reality. He was so quiet, you didn't even hear him walk through the door.

"Its about time you showed up." Jeno raised an eyebrow at your sudden aggression, not knowing why you were suddenly angry at him. He thought you'd be excited to see him.

"Woah why are you getting mad at me?" He questioned as he started changing out of his work clothes and into his pajamas.

You grit your teeth. How could he forget this special day that only comes once a year? "Did you forget what day it is?"

Jeno cocked his head to the side, "Um...Tuesday?" He really was clueless on where you were going with this, but your face made him realize he was missing something.

"Jeno..." your head fell into your hands, your boyfriend sat next to you in the bed, still wondering what he was missing and why it was on the tip of his tongue, "Our anniversary, you missed our damn anniversary."

The boys eyes bugged, he knew he missed something and the whole day he couldn't figure it out. He had been so stressed with the recent comeback and the upcoming one that even something as simple as an anniversary date slipped his mind.

God, he felt so bad just thinking how excited you probably were today to go out with him and enjoy your guy's day together, but because of him, your day was long gone and passed up.

"No wait, that was today!? Babe I'm so sorry, I was with the dreamies at the amusement park and I didn't have my phone with me because my manager took it and-" jeno stopped mid sentence before noticing he still didn't have his phone and forgot to get it back from his manager. He messed up bad today.

"You could've told me beforehand you were doing something with dream, although I still wouldn't have appreciated you missing our anniversary, but at least you wouldve told me where you went." You showed your annoyance by rolling over in bed, ignoring jeno.

Jeno growled at his sudden frustration, he already apologized and explained himself why are you still mad? "You know what? At least I told you what the hell I was doing and why I couldn't respond. Yeah I missed the anniversary, but you know what? Its just the fucking time of year we started dating, the day will come again."

"So what you're telling me is you don't care about the day we started dating? Whatever I'm not in the mood to argue right now." You never turned to look at jeno once you finished talking, needless to say you didn't care what he was going to reply with. It wasnt like he cared anyway.

The bass of the music boomed in the practice room. Everyone was so tired these past few days and were anxious for the upcoming comeback that all they wanted to do was relax for once and take a break.

Jeno especially.

After the little argument you both had last night, he couldnt get that out of his head. There were no words spoken to him this morning and you didn't even spare him a glance. His heart broke for sure and he didnt know what to do because he knew he messed up bad. Saying those words to you and knowing how much it meant to you, was something he wish he could take back and start over.

Walking through the practice door, you took a seat on the floor where you rested your head against the wall with bags of food for the members. They were doing so well preparing for their comeback you wanted to congratulate them for working so hard. Plus, you wanted to make sure jeno had eaten today.

"Is that food for us!?" Chenle came barging towards you, giving you a strong squeeze as you laughed into his shoulder.

"Yeah I got food for everyone to congratulate you guys for working so hard." You smiled and handed the bags of food to chenle who looked about ready to take it for himself and eat it.

"Thanks so much y/n! You're the best!" He hopped away happily with the food. Jeno stared between the food and you. He loved how you took care of everyone and still came to their practice though you both weren't on best of terms at the moment, but you weren't even looking at him or acknowledging his presence again, only returning your attention to your phone.

Jaemin wrapped an arm around jenos shoulders as he was eating a chicken wing and looked at the you as well, "Whats up with the both of you all of a sudden? Normally you guys are being so disgustingly cute that I have to walk away for a solid 5 minutes." Jaemin sighed.

"I-its nothing. We just-"

"What is it?"

Jeno shook his head and put on the best smile he could muster while patting jaemins back, "its really nothing jaemin." He said and walked over to the food.

You on the other hand felt bad for causing jeno to be this way. He was silent and didn't really interact with the members when they were eating and goofing around. Not even haechan or mark could crack him. You sighed, putting your phone down and leaned your head against the wall. The only way for all this tension between the two of you would be to settle this and forgive one another. It shouldn't be that hard.

"Jeno," you called, startling your boyfriend who perked up with full cheeks, "come here please."

The dreamies silently watched jeno amble towards you, too invested in what was going to happen to continue talking. You didn't seem to care though, just wanting to get it over with and talk with jeno.

You still stared at the ground avoiding eye contact with jeno, but he couldnt take it. All he wanted was your attention on him.

"Can't you just look at me," he muttered before taking a seat in front of you, "I know I messed up, but please?"

You blinked up at him, "wait...jeno are you tearing up?"

Jeno sniffled back the tears and looked at you with big puppy eyes, your heart sank at the sight. You didn't intend to hurt him, you were just sad and angry about one important thing. And now you think maybe ignoring him had gone too far.

"Please dont cry." You took his hand into yours, softly caressing his knuckles.

"I-im sorry I cant help it. I know I messed up and now you're ignoring me and its just so frustrating because of the comebacks and I'm so used to you taking care of me that I can't even go one day without you loving me." Jeno teared up again. If just a day could hurt him, imagine what would happen if you kept this up.

"You think I dont love you right now?" You asked. Jeno nodded his head slowly, "Babe, of course I love you, I was just mad you forgot or anniversary and went to the amusement park with the dreamies." A sigh fell from your lips before you lifted jenos chin up, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night and argued. I dont expect you to be perfect jeno."

There was a smile on the boys face as he brought a hand behind your head and kissed your cheek, "Im sorry, I really am baby. I promise ill make it up to you." He said.

"I know a really cute restaurant. We can have a cute date later." You smiled and jeno nodded his head happily until you heard a groan come behind him.

"This was so disgusting. I need to walk away now."

#nct #wayv #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #lee jeno #lee jeno fluff #lee jeno angst #lee jeno nct #nct jeno #jeno nct #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop imagines

[lexaprogemini]

how you meet | edward cullen

A/N: wowowow after being on Tumblr for 6+ years I would have NEVER imagined my first published writing to this site being Twilight dnvjdfjaskdlmfkl enjoy!! requests are open :)) I will write for Twilight (mainly the Olympic Coven, except Jasper romantically), Star Wars, and Harry Potter

Pairing: Edward Cullen x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: Reader gets unsolicited attention from teenage boys, swear words

when you moved to forks after spring break because of your dad’s work, you’re unanimously nicknamed new girl™ by all of forks high school’s students

and consequently, you’re the new eye candy for your male peers

Forks boys are, well . . . neanderthals douchebags

the ones you’ve met are egotistical, super immature, and super HORNY

. . . you decide to keep your distance

aNyWaYs

you get smooshed into ap u.s. history

apush, baby, apush HAAAAA

the teacher points you to an empty seat next to some pale blonde dude

he gives off weird kid energy at first but then he politely speaks to you

“i’m jasper. welcome to forks” and gives you an acknowledging nod

his eyes are topaz!!!?? woooooooah that’s so cool is that like a genetic defect or smth??

aaaaand your teacher immediately assigns a PROJECT

a fuckin civil war project

you swear you see jasper’s pupils dilate

you hear a chuckle from behind you

and when you turn around you see a pale dude w a dark brown buzzcut and some blonde girl smirking beside him

you later find out that those are his siblings

his fuckin goofy ass siblings

anyways a few weeks pass

you pop in at your dad’s job @ forks hospital and see him chatting w a fellow physician

yet another pale dude with blonde hair 

JESUS HOW FUCKING MANY ARE THERE

you approach them and your dad embraces you in a hug

“heeeeyyyy sweet pea! how’s it goin’!” 

the doctor he was talking to looks at you fondly

“hello, i’m carlisle cullen” and offers you his hand to shake, which you do

“y/n, carlisle was just inviting us to his house later tonight for some dinner”

dr. hotpants puts his hands in his pockets and humbly grins

“my son jasper tells me you’re his classmate”

oh god he’s one of those pta dads, isn’t he??

“oh, yeah, he’s my partner in history”

he smiles, “that’s wonderful. my wife esme and i would love to have you both over as our guests. it’s not often we have company for dinner. and i’m sure the rest of my children would love to meet you, y/n”

jesus christ how many kids does this guy have?? he looks THIRTY

don’t worry, in the car your dad tells you they’re all adopted lmfao

✰✰later that night✰✰

their house is HUGE jesus fuckin christ

alice knows (well they all know) about you because of jasper

IMMEDIATELY loves you!!

“hi! i’m alice!!!”

WHOLESOME AS FUCK UGH

i’m EVAPORATING. i’m YODELLING. it’s fine :-)

you thought you weren’t gonna make any pals in forks bc of the weird horny teenage specimens but here we are ;-;

alice envelopes you into a tight hug and you, in shock, grasp her arms to acknowledge this affection

your dad’s chillin near carlisle and esme and he’s silently chuckling

oh . . . they all have black eyes now?? must be the weather

or the fluorescence

you wave at jasper, rosalie, and emmett

you notice the last sibling

he’s very handsome

to you, everything about him was attractive

his soft hair contrasted against his hardened facial features

you could tell he was socially reserved when it comes to new acquaintances, just like you

he physically isolates himself from his family once you and your dad arrived

he was standing alone near a corner away from everyone else

you make eye contact with him and his mental barrier breaks down

he loses his cool

his face contorts

his lips twist into puckered lines

he claps his hand over his mouth and vacates the room immediately, running up the stairs

everyone notices his sudden departure

his family is shocked but tbh not really

✰✰✰ eddy boy is a lil shy around girls sometimes ✰✰✰

carlisle breaks the impending doom of silence

“i apologize for edward leaving us so abruptly. he hasn’t been feeling well as of late; please excuse his absence. . .”

you awkwardly pretend like that never happened

you feel it in your gut that your presence disturbed him

and not only did you disturb him

but you disturbed him so bad that he had to leave

for why?? you don’t know

you then realize that everyone else in the room knows he left bc of you

. . . anyway you all sit down at the table but you and your dad are the only ones who have plates

your dad notices this too

“hey, aren’t you guys gonna eat too?”

esme grins warmly at him

“oh, don’t worry about us. we just wanted to welcome you to town!”

uhhh, ok ma’am

alice talks to you for almost the entire time you were eating ;-; i love her

you’re also talking to jasper, cracking some apush jokes

you, jasper, emmett, and rosalie talk shit about your classmates and teacher

“why the fuck -- *carlisle glares at emmett* -- heck did mr. whatshisface give us a project RIGHT AFTER BREAK???!!”

“and he paired y/n and jasper!! they’re civil war  n e r d s!! they’re gonna get the best grade” rosalie chimes in

“not if we--”

alice  ❀politely❀  tells them to stfu

you giggle

bonding with your new pals <33

allllllright so it’s a few days later

you’re walking home from school

it’s drizzling, as always, but you know that it’s gonna rain harder if you don’t get home fast enough

and some asshole

some persistent prick from your class

keeps flirting with you

he’s talking about how he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since you came to forks

he’s insisting he has your phone number, that he’s gonna take you out on dates. . .

you hate it

you’re so uncomfortable but you can’t really do anything about it

s u d d e n l y

a car pulls up beside where you and the guy are walking on the sidewalk and screeches to a stop

the window is rolled down and you see a familiar face

it’s edward cullen

with one hand on the wheel, he looks at both of you and clenches his jaw

“get in”

even though he was undeniably weird a few weeks ago, you concede

you never got to speak to him, but you knew that edward was trustworthy

you practically launch yourself into his silver volvo c30™

he shoots a stone-cold glare to the jackass on the sidewalk and drives away

honestly, it wouldn’t take much for anyone (not just a mind-reading vampire) to know how uncomfortable you are after what just happened with that guy

your body language is tense

your arms are crossed tightly

your body is pointed towards the passenger window as your knees touch the door

tears are welling up in your eyes

it would be mere seconds until you fully broke down

you’re embarrassed, to say the least

you’re embarrassed that you were put in a vulnerable situation, like a damsel in distress

and of all people, the handsome and mysterious guy--

the handsome and mysterious guy you began crushing on

--who feels seemingly indifferent towards you swept you off your feet and helped you when you needed someone

that made things even more embarrassing

and the tears started streaming down your heated cheeks

edward immediately sensed your unease (hmm wonder why, but also who wouldn’t sense it???)

he’s pissed. 

absolutely livid

that asshole had a  d e a t h w i s h

he knew you didn’t want to address your unsolicited encounter, so . . .

*awkwardly clears throat* “are you enjoying the weather?”

you choked

you did not expect him to ask that

nor did you expect him to talk at. all.

you smile through your tears and laugh

you can’t help but laugh

he’s just so awkward and cute

his half-baked plan of indirectly distracting you definitely worked

you started to excitedly talk about the rain and how much you love gloomy, cloudy days

. . . and then the elephant in the room

the inevitable first impression from a few days ago

“i’m sorry for my behavior from our first meeting. i wasn’t feeling well, and i wouldn’t have wanted for you or your father to be affected by my illness”

you’re a little skeptical at first

buuuuut you give him the benefit of the doubt and dismiss his apology

“that’s okay. it’s allergy season, anyway. i’m glad you’re feeling better”

you have no idea how bad i wanted to make a spanish flu joke right there

a small, soft smile lifts the corners of his lips “i’m edward cullen”

you look at him and return the smile

t h e  t e a s i n g  e n e r g y

“i’m y/n”

the car approaches your house after time seems to have flown by

your dad looks at you both as he walks to his car to go to work

he waves at edward

edward smiles and waves back at him as he enters the car

you gratefully thank edward for the ride, careful not to dwell on the prior circumstances

as you open the passenger door, edward grabs your wrist

!!he grabs your wrist!!

he insists on being your ride to and from school from now on

you object and exit the car

but

b u t

edward smirks, leaning towards the open door

“i’ll see you in the morning, y/n” 

your jaw drops

and then he closes the door and speeds off

you watch him drive away and your heartbeat becomes arrhythmic 

a garden of butterflies is unleashed in your stomach

blood rushes to your cheeks once more

you smile to yourself before heading inside

secretly anticipating tomorrow morning :’)

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #twilight #twilight imagine #edward cullen headcanons #twilight headcanons #edward cullen imagines #headcanons

[rogue-durin-16]

FIREWORKS AND STREAMERS

Request: I have been insecure about my curly hair lately and was wondering if you can you write something with one of the weasley twins where the reader is insecure about her curly hair and one of the twins makes her feel better.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Hufflepuff!Reader

Genre: fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @wildcat1434

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: So like, incoming fluff bc this idea was cute and sometimes I do be needing fluff, that's about it, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The relationship between me and my hair had always been... Bumpy, you could say.

There were periods in which I would find it quite lovely; during those times I would let my curls free, showing them off with a proud demeanor, knowing my hair was unique. Those times began to turn less and less usual since the middle of third year, though they were still there.

However, after the summer prior to my sixth year, those moments had banished; I only wished to hide my hair, and my friends ended up noticing. They told me surely there would be a spell or potion able to change my hair.

As if they had summoned it, the next day in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall introduced us to what seemed like my salvation; Crinus Muto, an advanced spell that modified the caster's hair with no restrictions.

My best friend advised me against using it, claiming it wouldn't help my insecurity— if only, it would worsen it.

I really wanted to do as she had told me and completely dismiss the spell's existence, but two nights after I had a big mental breakdown about it, caused by the most stupid thing ever.

"Is Weasley staring at you or am I blind?" One of my friends whispered, her eyes trained on the Gryffindor table.

I didn't even bother to look up, not wanting to know whether it was true or not, before responding with a quiet "You're blind."

"I mean, it's hard to tell with two rows of students between us but," She nudged me, urging me to avert my gaze from my dinner and redirect it to Fred. "it kinda looks like he's... staring."

Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. My eyes finally left my plate and were, in fact, met with Fred's brown ones. As soon as they met, though, he looked away, pretending to be focused on his food, just like I had been doing seconds ago.

"Of course he's staring." Hannah Abbot, who sat right in front of my friend, commented with her mouth full. "Have you seen your hair?" She swallowed her food, looking me up and down before adding, "No offense, but it's an absolute mess." My eyes opened widely in shock at her bluntness. "You should take care of it, really."

"Has someone ever told you you're an ill-mannered bitch, Hannah?" I heard my friend talking back at the younger girl while I got up and started to make my way out of the Great Hall.

Of course, I didn't see Fred shooting up and attempting to go after me; ultimately he decided to stay in his place, since he saw my friend walking out too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very aware of all the pair of eyes that had been laid on me the very moment I entered the greenhouse where we would be doing the Herbology tasks.

When I had met my friends at the Hufflepuff common room that morning, I had received divided opinions about my straight hair. At first I had been very convinced that it looked way better than my curly hair, but seeing my friends' reaction, I wasn't that confident about it anymore.

I didn't have time to undo the spell before class, so I decided to go along with it and see how the day unfolded.

I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on the ground as I made my way to an empty seat; maybe there weren't that many people staring, maybe it was just my anxiety.

I finally gathered the courage and looked up, nervously scanning the glasshouse so I could shake off my fears.

There was only a couple of my peers staring, which would have put me at ease, if one of them wasn't Fred Weasley.

On top of it, of course, he wasn't even trying to be subtle, it was almost as if he wanted me to notice his judging eyes; I could feel his gaze on me for the entire class.

The instant Professor Sprout dismissed us, I shoved everything in my bag and left the greenhouse, thanking a couple of Gryffindors who complimented my hair on my way out.

Again, I didn't notice Fred leaving the class as soon as he could to run after me.

I threw my bag against a tree near the lake shore and, as I fell against it, I heard someone jogging in my direction.

"In a hurry to sit by the lake, Y/l/n?" I followed the tall ginger with my eyes while he circled me and sat down by me. "You alright?"

"I just needed a break from... People." I vaguely explained, focusing on the water instead of on the boy besides me.

"Understandable." He hesitated for a second before adding, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's fine." I surprised myself at how calmed and collected I sounded, as if I wasn't chatting with my crush.

"What happened to your hair?" His genuinely curious inquiry took me aback, and I struggled to find something to answer.

"Why?" My heartbeat picked up, anxiety inundating me once more. "You don't like it?"

"It looks weird." Fred looked at me up and down with a grimace. "You don't... Look like yourself." I was about to enter fight or flight mode, but he seemed to notice, and panic made its way to his face. "But it doesn't matter what I think," he was quick to add, his eyes wide open as if he knew he had said something he should have not. "I mean— I think it shouldn't matter, if you like it, that's great— I mean, you don't need my opinion about that either!"

"Calm down, I understand." I tried to reassure him, before his rambling drove the both of us crazy. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with pursed lips, surely afraid he would fuck up if he spoke again. "I've been very insecure about my hair lately— like, very." I sighed. "My best friend told me not to straighten it, but last night I got a not so nice comment and—"

"So that's why you left?" I nodded, tugging my sleeves. Fred went silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. "I know this won't do much, but I really love your hair. Kinda reminds me of fireworks and streamers." He gestured around his own head, mimicking the fireworks' movement. "Dunno I think is fun and pretty awesome." I raised my brows at him in surprise. "Like you."

"Aw, that's very sweet." He offered me a sheepish smile as I felt my cheeks blushing. "It does a lot, actually." I confessed, fidgeting with my rings. "I guess I kinda needed to hear something positive about my hair."

"Well, whenever you need to hear something positive about your hair," he pointed at himself. "I'm your man." He winked at me and I let out a chuckle. "I can also tell you positive things about you in general, but that has a price."

"And what is it?"

"You'll have to let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks this Saturday." I tried not to let panic slip through my recently eased demeanor; was he asking me on a date? "And give me a kiss after." He wiggled his brows at me and my face turned red. "the kiss is negotiable."

I casted my gaze down, fixing it on my shoes, not sure of what I was supposed to say at that. His foot tapping mine snapped me out of my thoughts.

"So?" My eyes traveled to him once more, only to find his studying me already. "What do you say, Y/l/n?"

"Well," I shrugged, trying in vain to play nonchalant. "Seems like an affordable price, so it's fine by me."

"I'll pick you up after lunch, yeah?" Before I could agree, he gasped, his eyes going wide. "I'm a genius."

"Come again?" I frowned, confused as his sudden frantic behavior.

"Don't mind me, love." He jumped up and jogged towards the castle, leaving me puzzled in there. I was about to grab a book from my bag when Fred rushed back, crouched down and pecked my cheek. "Your hair's amazing." He assured me. "See you!" My fingertips graced my now flushed cheek as he headed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was finishing my lunch when two towering redheads entered the Hall running; while George, slowed down, Fred made a beeline to the Hufflepuff table, his casual clothes already on.

"Ready?" He asked breathless.

"Yeah— you didn't have lunch, did you?" I pointed out, getting up to stand in front of him.

"No, but I'll eat something later—" his eyes roamed over my carefully picked outfit before stating, "You look... very pretty."

"Why, thank you." I offered him a smile and looked over my shoulder at the Gryffindor table, where his friends were very attentive to all we did. "You sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"Hundred percent." He tilted his head towards the gates. "shall we?" He prompted to walk before him, and it was then that I realized he had his hands behind his back. Once we were out in the yard, he tugged my hand and made me turn to him. "I made something for you."

"You didn't have to." Was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard his words. Then the wording dawned on me; he didn't get me something, he made me something. "What is it?"

"So, you know that I told you your hair reminded me of fireworks and streamers?" I nodded, not quite knowing where he was going with that. "Well—" he then showed me what his back was hiding; a delicate, tiny firecracker with my name written on the side. "George helped me so I could finish it on time."

"I'm—" at my loss of words, I could only let out a happy laugh. "This is so cute— am I supposed to ignite it?"

"Duh!" I gently pushed his shoulder in response to his teasing. "Do you know how to do it?"

"I've seen you do it plenty of times." I admitted, grabbing the firecracker with one hand and my wand with the other; it looked so pretty, it was a pity I'd have to ruin it.

With a brief firemaking spell, the firecracker set off. Fred pulled me back slightly before it happened, though.

I was in awe at the beautiful fireworks before us, which looked like a color-changing, expanding version of my hair.

When the colors died out, I turned to Fred, whose attention was already on me, awaiting for a reaction. Surely, he was not expecting the kiss he got, but he didn't complain either; while my hands rested on his chest, his traveled to cup my cheeks before I could pull away.

"So you liked it?" He questioned quietly against my lips.

"I loved it." I whispered back with a wide smile. "You're a sweetheart." I pecked his lips before retreating. Holding his hand in mines, I made my way back into the castle. "We're not leaving until you have lunch."

"You are a sweetheart." He responded, following my lead without offering resistance. "By the way, your hair looks gorgeous." The corners of my lips twisted into a bigger smile at the sweet words he spoke only for me to hear as we went back into the Great Hall.

Maybe my hair wasn't that bad after all.

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