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#to keep track of things i've written but i don't even post... everything i LIKE on there because i save a lot
infamous-if · 4 months
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Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update
Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk
✮ — Part 2 + rewrite
Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!
It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao
Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)
ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!
✮ — December will be for
planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.
Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions
I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!
work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!
And also take a small breather because I am moving!
✮ — Patreon
I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3
✮ —
My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!
That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!
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Step 7 : Don't Live Together (H.JS)
Word Count : 2.6k
Warnings : swearing, drinking, food mention, body image issues, mentions of sex, angst, heartbreak, a lot of heartbreak, tears were shed, might want to grab tissues
A/N : Sorry that his is short like Changbin's! But I will make up for it with his written series that will be out soon!!! I'm working on the final part of this series, and then I will be releasing the prologue of Perfect For You!!! Also I appreciate everyone that has bought me a coffee or has tried 🥺 I know tumblr is messing with links right now. If you're trying and the one in my bio isn't working, I've heard the one in my pinned post does work! Again do not feel inclined to do so. I appreciate your support via likes and reblogs as well 💕💕💕
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            It was another night with music blasting through the headphones in her ears and a tear soaked pillow as she cried herself to sleep. Trying not to think of the girl she wish she could be on the other side of the house, moaning Jisung’s name as he fucks her.
            It used to annoy her, how many girls Jisung brings home. They were best friends, she told herself, him sleeping with other girls didn’t bother her. Not like that. She just wanted to sleep, and with the constant screaming and moaning, dramatics she knows the girls put on just for her, evident by the sneer looks she receives in the morning as Jisung kicks them out and joins her for breakfast.
            And then she found herself comparing the way she looks to each and every girl that walked through the door. How different she was. How her body was a different shape. Her hair looked different. Her eyes didn’t shine as bright. And the tears would well up when Jisung would talk about how beautiful they were.
            She never meant to fall in love with Jisung, it wasn’t in her plan. Living with him until graduation? That was in the plan. Get married at 35 if they’re both single? Definitely in the plan. But falling in love with him in university while he’s one of the most popular guys and she’s practically unknown? Not even a thought.
~
            “Hey Y/n! You still coming to the party tonight?” Chan slung his arm across her shoulders, shooting her his infamous smile that would have any other girl weak in the knees, but she just nodded as she wrapped an arm around his torso, leaning into his comforting touch. “You feeling okay? Your face is a little puffy.”
            “Just a little cry sesh. You know, the usual.” She joked, trying to play off the heartbreak she felt at the sight of another beautiful girl leaving her house this morning, pretending like everything was normal with Jisung when he sat beside her, thanking her for breakfast as he always does. If she keeps pretending like everything is fine, then maybe everything will actually be fine.
            “You know I’m only a call away.”
            “Okay Charlie Puth.” She rolled her eyes, playfully shoving him away before heading towards her first class. Repeating to herself that she just has to keep acting like everything is normal and then things will return to the way it was before. She’ll fall out of love with Jisung, and her life will get back on track.
~
            “I swear his dick is going to fall off by the time he’s 30.” Hyunjin joked, handing Y/n a cup filled with a liquid she didn’t question, just chugged it all back like it was shot, and went to the kitchen in search of more. She couldn’t stand watching Jisung making out with someone that wasn’t her. Another someone that wasn’t her. There have been many someone’s. Too many someone’s. And tonight she planned to forget each and every one of them.
            “They usually keep the good stuff in the cabinet above the fridge.” She turned to see Seungmin entering the kitchen with his hands in his pockets and a knowing look in his eyes. “Just don’t tell them I told you.” He smiled at her before grabbing the bottle of liquor no one else knew about, looking around to make sure no one else was watching them. “Follow me.”
            She didn’t know Seungmin as well as she knew the others. They ran in the same circle and didn’t have many friends outside the guys, but that’s where their similarities stopped. Their majors were different. Their hobbies were different. Even the places they frequented were different, so they really only saw each other during these parties.
            At least Seungmin saw her. Watched her as she came to terms with her growing feelings for her best friend. Watched as her heart broke each time Jisung found a new girl to bring to their shared home. He saw her, watched her. She intrigued him.
            She didn’t know Seungmin, but she followed him outside into the garden. There was limited light, the music was softer, and there was absolutely no one else around. It was just the two of them, and she felt calm. No nerves, no worries. Just her, Seungmin, and a bottle of alcohol shared between the two of them.
~
            “Move in with me.” Seungmin said. It’s been a week since the party. A week since they shared a bottle of alcohol and both of them spilled too many secrets to each other. Suddenly they were attached at the hip the way her and Jisung once were.
            She was complaining while talking to him on the phone about yet another girl he brought home. Said she was trying to study and it was hard to focus with how loud they were being. But Seungmin knew the real reason she was upset. She didn’t have to voice it, and honestly he didn’t want her to. He wanted to believe for just a little while longer that one day she would be his.
            “I just got a new place and I could use a roommate.” He continued, trying to prove that it wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision, despite it most definitely being that. He had just moved out of his place he shared with Jeongin and Felix because he wanted his own space. He didn’t want a roommate. But she needed an escape. She needed to get away from Jisung and all his hookups.
            “You’d really be okay with that?” She asked after thinking about it for a minute. There was no getting over Jisung while living under the same roof, wishing she was the girl under him, listening to him moan her name instead of someone else’s.
            Moving in with Seungmin definitely wasn’t in her plan, but sometimes plans need to change. Especially when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend of far too many years and he doesn’t even notice you by his side willing to give him everything.
            Seungmin was exactly the kind of guy she saw herself falling for when she planned out her life. He was smart and disciplined. He knew exactly what he wanted and he was determined to get it. Everything about him matches her perfectly, and she realized that a week ago while they drank together.
            If she met Seungmin before falling for Jisung, would she have fallen for him instead?
            “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t okay with it. I’ll even help you pack.”
~
            “What about all our plans?” She didn’t expect Jisung to protest. She didn’t expect the tears to fall from his eyes, or the way he fell to his knees, grabbing her hands desperately as he pleaded for her to stay. “Everything about me you don’t like, I’ll change.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his words coming out crackly as if coming out of a walkie-talkie.
            Seungmin was watching from the doorway. He had come in to tell her everything was packed in the truck and ready to go whenever she was. But before he could get a word out, he heard Jisung pleading for her to stay. He didn’t want to listen in on their goodbyes. He didn’t want to watch such an intimate moment between two close friends, but he couldn’t look away.
            Neither of them noticed him standing there. As if he was watching a scene from a drama, just an audience member, a nobody, not even a background character. He could see her caving, ready to give into Jisung, just like she always did.
            He took a deep breath and finally spoke up. “We’re ready to go whenever you are.” Both of them whipped their heads in his direction and he did his best to keep the smile on his face before he turned around and went back outside.
            If she follows him, if she chooses to move in with him, he’ll allow himself to think he has a chance to win her over. She wants to move out to move on after all. He can be the one to show her the love she’s always given to Jisung if she would give him the chance to.
            “Sorry. I should have told him earlier that I was moving out.” He shook his head, telling her not to apologize. He gestured towards the truck, asking if she was ready to go. She took a glance back at the house she lived in for two years. Jisung stood in the living room window, watching her leave, still hoping she changes her mind. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
~
            It took some time for Y/n to get used to living with Seungmin. It almost didn’t feel like home at first. Like she was just a stranger locked in a room, scared to leave, scared to wander too far from the safety of her bed. But Seungmin was warm.
            He would knock on her door and invite her to join him every time he made food. He would ask if she wanted to watch a drama with him. They spent their mornings together, drinking coffee as they made breakfast together.
            Slowly but surely she ventured out of her room. She would come home to Seungmin making food for the two of them and she would keep him company in the kitchen. They shared tidbits about their days, laughing over the silly things, and thoughts of Jisung slowly slipped from her mind. She was able to find happiness again.
            But things weren’t so good for Jisung. It all felt like a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. He would wake up in an empty house, the smell of breakfast he got so used to gone. It became routine to stop by the café on the way to class to grab coffee and a sandwich for breakfast, but it would never measure up to Y/n’s food.
            He got so used to having her around even if she was just in her room that he had no idea what to do now that she was gone. He had hoped she would change her mind, turn right back around, and unpack all her stuff. Hoped that she would at least visit, at least hang out with him. But it was as if she no longer existed. Like she was a figment of his imagination that finally dissolved.
            But he’s seen her around with Seungmin. He didn’t even know the two were close. He knew about her friendship with Chan and Changbin. He knew she talked to Felix and Minho sometimes. Hyunjin had asked her out once. Jeongin spilled beer on her shirt once at a party and hasn’t looked at her since. But Seungmin? He can’t think of one memory of her and Seungmin.
            Sure he’s been preoccupied with distracting himself from his ever growing feelings for her by sleeping with any girl he can. But he still notices everything about her. Still sees the way she demands attention the second she walks into a room just by the way she stands there. How everyone notices her but she doesn’t see it. He knows she sees herself as invisible, not knowing just how beautiful she is. How incredible. How breathtaking.
            She had her entire life planned out. Jisung had always been apart of her life plan, but never as her lover. Never as the one in her heart. And that was fine at first. He was okay with it when she told him about her plan. He accepted it when they promised to get married if they were both still single at 35.
            And then he fell in love with her in high school. How had he never realized it before? She was always right there beside him, and then she wasn’t. But she always came back. No matter how far she goes, she always comes back. She’ll come back again, right?
            “You look like shit.” Changbin chuckled as he walked into class. But Jisung stood from his desk and ran out. “Yo I’m sorry! It was a joke!” Changbin called after him, but Chan just shook his head and pointed to the notebook he had left behind. Still open on his desk, lyrics scribbled in barely legible handwriting. The only thing that was legible was the single word at the top of the page : Y/N.
~
            “Come back home.” Jisung barged into her class just before it was to start. The professor and all the students looked towards the door and the sweaty, panting boy standing there. But his eyes never left hers.
            “You’re excused Miss L/n.” She quickly packed all her belongings and pushed Jisung out the door, shutting it behind her.
            “What the fuck is your problem? You can’t just barge into my class like that.” She could tell that he was barely listening. He had a thousand thoughts running in his head and he needed to get it all out before he could listen to anything else.
            “I’m a fucking mess without you okay? And I’m not just saying that because you cook for me. I’m talking about just living day to day life with you. Coming home and knowing you’re there! Being in my room and knowing you’re just down the hall if I need you. Movie nights. Cuddling all the time. Fuck I even miss when you’re on your period and you hate me one minute and love me the next. When you call me at work just because. When you’re sick and curled up in a blanket burrito and just need me to take care of you all day. I miss it all. I need it all back. So please just come back home. I’ll pack all your stuff at Seungmin’s. I’ll unpack it all too. Anything to bring you back home.”
            It took a minute for all his words to process in her mind. For her to understand what he was saying, what he was asking. And her heart broke. Because even after all this time away from him, living the domestic life she’s always dreamed of with someone else, her perfect someone else, she was still in love with Jisung. She was still weak for Jisung. She would still give into him. “I can’t.” If only Seungmin were here to save her. To pull her away. Pull her into his arms, run his fingers through her hair, tell her he loves her. Maybe it would distract her enough.
            “Why not?” Her teary eyes met his. They were both breaking. Falling apart for the same reason and they had no idea.
            “Because loving you is hurting me.” He reached out for her, dropping his arm to his side when she flinched. All the girls he brought home, all the girls he used to distract himself from the one he wanted, pushed her away. Hurt her in ways he’d never forgive himself for. “Go back to class, Jisung.”
            It was now or never. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her from walking back into her class. Stopping her from leaving him forever. She didn’t turn around, and he knew it was because she was crying, and she didn’t want him to see. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since high school. So please come back home. Let me fix what I broke.”
            Slowly she turned to look at him, and he reached out for her again, cupping her face with the hand not holding onto her wrist, wiping away the tears streaming down her face. The tears he caused. Tears he hated to see. Tears he hoped to never see again.
            “Please.” He pleaded.
            “Okay.” She whispered, a small smile on her face. It was enough for him. And he sealed the deal with a kiss.
back to the masterlist
@beabeanice @lilydaisyyy @notastraykid @frobin4ever @habeyhan @taetertotsv @mylifesupsidedowm @is2cb97 @ren-junwrld @wormi @ghostedgameplays @haikyuuisposts @chai-papa @aestheticsluut @sahazzy @hanjistarss @lethallyprotected @why-am-i-sad @neohyxn @alyssajavenss @hamburgers101 @strayluvr @armystay89 @hyujinnie1
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nekropsii · 1 year
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man what I hate about the fandom excusing the Dave blog with the n word like "it's not IN the comic so it's not canon" is that in THE comic, Hussie was way too obsessed with having Dave rap about segregation and slavery as quips one of the first raps even referenced the slur negro, which textually went over many people's heads (because "it's just "black" in French") when the context was racist white men in segregation-era and how they pronounced that very closely to the well-known slur, pronouncing it with "knee" these types of raps weren't just in Act 1, it was even in Act 3 it's so uncomfortable considering Hussie said "I just type out how I'd talk" when it came to Dave's dialogue, considering his humor and how those raps and the blog came into light it's so annoying how people keep suggesting it's not IN the comic at all- like it's giving "read it once 5 years ago and never freshened up on it while still debating it", y'know?
I'll give as many sources to what you said here as I can, just so people listen more. Wasn't able to track everything down, so some things are more up in the air, but overall, you're on the money.
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[Blog of Dave Strider- February 17, 2010.]
I heavily agree and identify with your frustration. Just because it's "not in the comic" doesn't mean Hussie didn't write it and that it's not worth evaluating. This isn't a case where you can disregard it for noncanonicity reasons, like Post Canon. This was written concurrently with canon, and therefore it reflects the political mindset of Hussie during the time of writing Homestuck. That much is valuable information. What I will point out is that the next paragraph here contains yet another phrase that is rather telling of Hussie's... Racial vocabulary.
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Definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, to put it nicely. Haven't personally seen it get mentioned, and I feel like it's apt to bring up here, since this is the closest I've seen Hussie get to the big Hard R. Typically, they default to Soft A, which doesn't make it less racist, but does have a different... Vibe, so to speak. It's more hateful sounding.
Moving on.
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[Andrew Hussie's Formspring- Feb 24, 2010 - Mar 7, 2010. Exact date unknown.]
The fact that Dave is a near exact emulation of Hussie themself in speech mannerisms, down to the lifting of entire chatlogs, is telling. As we've seen from Hussie's past work, he was clearly... excessively comfortable with throwing around the N-word, as a white man. Why would Dave be any different? It's hard to argue that Dave's racism is "not indicative of Dave's flaws, but indicative of Hussie's", when Dave as a character is both a product of Hussie's mind and a direct extension of her. You can't truly divorce the two. Dave is racist because Hussie is racist. Dave is an extension of Hussie.
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[Homestuck, Act 2, page 294- June 23, 2009.]
I believe this is what you were talking about in reference to that particular version of the N-word being used, as well as the references to slavery. This is in Act 2. I couldn't find much in Dave's other raps, outside of his fixation on the idea of Black presidents as a novel concept... Other than this.
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[Homestuck, Act 5 Act 2, page 2825- November 1, 2010.]
Apparently using the term "Urban" to refer to Black people, culture, art, and music is a recurring Hussie-ism, even in Homestuck. Rose also uses this a couple times, notably more than Dave does. It sees more usage in Problem Sleuth as well- unsurprising, considering it is an older work than Homestuck is.
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[Homestuck, Act 4, page 1590- March 17, 2010.]
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[Homestuck, [o], page 3879- July 2, 2011.]
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[Problem Sleuth, page 62- March 15, 2008.]
TL;DR: I don't think there's any real excuse to leave Hussie's racism out of genuine discussion of the contents of his works. It's obvious. The only valid defense for leaving it out of analytical conversations is ignorance, because... Well, some people just aren't that observant. Homestuck does not exist in a vacuum. Hussie did, in fact, write this, and Hussie is, in fact, bigoted. Bigotry shows throughout their works not because they're spinning a grand narrative of overcoming your moral failings, but because they kind of just suck. Dave isn't an exception, and shouldn't be divorced from the context of having been written by Andrew Hussie. There's no debate to be had over the existence of Hussie's bigotry, because contesting such a clear cut fact is pure stupidity. It's like arguing that evolution isn't real because you, personally, do not understand it, or don't find it comforting. Hussie's bigotry is one of the only things we can be 100% sure is a real part of his personhood, rather than another figment of his ironic online persona. The level of "Well, Actually"-ism people will engage in over this is mind-numbing, quite frankly.
Thank you for the ask- people being aware of the racism in Homestuck keep me sane. Have a lovely day.
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phdmama · 1 year
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I'd absolutely love some sterek fic recs because I'm trying to broaden the ships I read. I've watched the first 3 seasons of teen wolf but haven't read any fics and don't know where to start. I'm fairly open to reading any content, although I'm not the biggest fan of like the common school/coffee shop etc AUs.
Also I love how you're gotten into blogging hockey recently. Have you read any hockey rpf since getting into nhl? Personally sidgeno and mattdrai have my heart, but like I said I'm looking for new ships to read like sterek.
WOOOO LET'S GOOOO!!
As always, read the tags etc etc. Probably a lot of these will be author recs. I will say Sterek has the potential for an age gap concern but I don't read fic where that's written as a predatory thing, FWIW, but I do read some where Stiles is 17 but where I feel like it's handled at least somewhat gracefully
Gravity's Got Nothing on You by @zosofi is great - I really like all their stuff actually!
@kalpurna's Fascination and @drunktuesdays' bigger, longer and uncut are both *gems* - so funny.
We've Written Volumes (in Blood and Scars and Ink) by @notthequiettype is absolutely brilliant, one of my fav fics of all time, way up on my reread regularly list. They only have one other Sterek but I love that one too (and they write hockey rpf but I haven't really dived in there yet!).
The Moon's Gonna Follow Me Home by @turningterrific is stunning. They're SUCH a good writer, although sadly this is their only Sterek (but they have written some amazing hockey RPF as well!).
Every stumble and each misfire by @everchanginginks is fucking phenomenal. True story, I read this fic and then didn't keep track of it but it stayed in my brain, and I spent literally HOURS combing my AO3 history to find it, and when I did, I promptly downloaded it and created the "Best Ever" collection on my Kindle specifically for this fic.
Everything by @suburbanmotel. They are an incredible writer and even more incredible person and I'm so lucky to call them a friend!
I really love @lunacanislupus-22-blog writing but particular favorites are: Feel it like a fever, burning through the night , Spirit grows when love goes away and I know that you love me, even when I lose my head (and I'm not normally one for amnesia fics because they make me SO ANXIOUS but this one is SO good).
Cornerstone by Vendelin is really good too (mind the tags on this one).
By Any Other Name by @entanglednow is fucking phenomenal (and again with the amnesia fics?!?!) and so so well-written. Check out all their stuff!
I really love @devildoll's writing very much a lot! Particular favorites include: Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile (and I don't usually gravitate to post-apocalyptic fic even though I love the genre in fiction but this one is fucking brilliant); Stand Fast in Your Enchantments (painful and so good); My Heart Comes Tumbling Down (OH MY HEART) and Love, Like a Sentence of Death.
There's Monsters at Home by @wellhalesbells | calrissian18 is a classic and really good! They've written a ton of really great fics (the Hilary Duff lyrics one is a another personal favorite!)
Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by @alocalband is gorgeous. Just. beautifully written.
stuck in reverse by @crazyassmurdererwall is also really good! Definitely check the tags on this one, as it is Stiles still in HS.
Start Small, Like Oak Trees by smallbirds is really lovely. Everything of theirs that I've read, I've really liked.
Okay, just a couple more I promise!!
The Difficult Kind (series) by whiskey_in_tea is an old one but really really wonderful.
The First Date series by @halffizzbin - the whole thing is delightful but I absolutely adore the final installment!
I will note that many of these authors also have Hockey RPF fic, JUST SAYING (I really am fascinated as to what that pipeline is??). I've read a ton of hockey RPF as well (sidgeno for sure) and I'll check out mattdrai now!!
Anyway, hope this helps as a place to start!!
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lovesongbracket · 1 year
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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.
Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)
Lay All Your Love On Me
Written By: Björn Ulvaeus & Benny Andersson
Artist: ABBA
Released: 1981
Cover included: Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper for Mamma Mia!, 2008
“Lay All Your Love On Me” explores the high emotions and passions that can emerge when falling in love, and documents one woman’s shift into erratic behaviors as she falls under the spell of her new lover. The song hit number one in the US dance charts in 1981, but has lasted in popularity over the years, becoming an ABBA staple. It was featured in the band’s jukebox musical (and its movie adaption), Mamma Mia, and in 2006 was named the 60th greatest dance song of all time by Slant magazine.
[Verse 1] I wasn't jealous before we met Now every woman I see is a potential threat And I'm possessive, it isn't nice You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice [Pre-Chorus] But now it isn't true Now everything is new And all I've learned has overturned I beg of you [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 2] It was like shooting a sitting duck A little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck I still don't know what you've done with me A grown-up woman should never fall so easily [Pre-Chorus] I feel a kind of fear When I don't have you near Unsatisfied, I skip my pride I beg you, dear [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 3] I've had a few little love affairs They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce I used to think that was sensible It makes the truth even more incomprehensible [Pre-Chorus] 'Cause everything is new And everything is you And all I've learned has overturned What can I do? [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me
youtube
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Demolition Lovers
Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Released: 2002
The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.
[Verse 1] Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition, too" I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things We put each other through and [Verse 2] I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running [Chorus] But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold [Post-Chorus] Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every… [Interlude] All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] As lead rains will pass on through Our phantoms forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame We're burning forever and ever Know how much I want to show you You're the only one Like a bed of roses There's a dozen reasons in this gun [Outro] And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!
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dinocanid · 7 days
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Our System Overview
(Preface: our system is highly metaphysical, in every single aspect, so that's the context everything's written in)
I've gotten a few requests over the months to write out how our system works, but I could never get around to it since it's hard to articulate. I'm attempting to do that today, but I'm encouraging you (the reader) to send asks if something is confusing since I acknowledge that some things might not be clear still. And of course, this is all our personal experience! Everything is different for everyone.
Members (and visitors)
One thing you'll probably see a lot in the rest of the post is "members" and "visitors". Everyone that's considered a member lives in the system; while they can venture out, they are bound to the system and for one reason or another can't just walk out forever to live somewhere else. Everyone that's a visitor doesn't live in the system, they exist elsewhere in whatever universe they came from and can leave whenever they please. Regardless, they're all under the "headmate" umbrella.
Our members (besides myself) include:
Amorphous (Ammy)
Drom
Gaster
And all of or visitors include:
Sans (from our timeline, not the canon one)
Several of his AU selves (there's a reason for this, it's just. A whole thing we're trying to get sorted)
Coincidentally, all of our members are spirits/dead in some sense of the word, while all of the visitors are still alive in their respective places.
Headmates That Are Also Kintypes (IE: the case with Ammy and Drom)
Often times when I'm talking about experiences relating to my dragon or dromaeosaurus kintypes, I'm using "the plural I". The reason for this is because due to some reincarnation shenanigans we are both each other and separate at the same time. They're both my past lives, and so one example is that when I was a dragon I was Amorphous (I'm not a "piece" of her or anything like that). When I'm feeling dragon-y that's not because of her doing anything, it's because my behavior and whatnot from the time I was a dragon is popping up. Duplication may or may not be the right word.
A good way to think about it is that both her and Drom are like "snapshots" of those lives, and each snapshot stacked with the next one. So Ammy was following Drom around as a headmate, and now they're both following me around.
How We Operate
At the time of writing, everyone both has their own individuality and are able to function independent from myself. There is no single thread of thought, everyone is doing their own thing at all times. How does my brain keep track of all that? It doesn't. Everyone is able to autonomously think and act in the headspace even if I'm not paying attention to them, but even so, I do have to say that it takes up a lot of processing power. Unless I'm asleep, my brain is regularly firing all cylinders like a laptop trying to run a heavily modded copy of The Sims. It's not uncommon for me to get headaches from system-related things. If someone new enters the system (visitors included) then I will get a headache even attempting to communicate with them. It usually takes a couple weeks for my brain to get used to it and for that effect to stop happening every time.
While I'm the main one seeing through the perspective of the body's eyes, everyone else not in front is capable of having multiple perspective. They can either have the view through the eyes psychically beamed into their heads (what happens by default), or they can go to the fronting room and see through the screen in there. They're also aware of all the other senses like smell, touch, and taste. These are all things they can opt in and out of at any time if they choose to. We don't all have access to the same thoughts though. Everyone can tell what I'm thinking (they have to since that's how we communicate), but I don't know what they're thinking about at any point in time unless they tell me (much like a separate-bodied person).
Although we aren't currently able to switch, we are currently practicing and most guides are hard to follow since it assumes that all of what's described above is not the case. Rather than there being "the body (who is the host) + everyone else", for us it's "the body + the host + everyone else". So a guide that details how to change a stream of consciousness (often described as "the I") is a bit hard to follow when we each have our own individual stream. And guides that describe "becoming the host" don't help either because the host isn't the body in our case. I'm the host because I'm the original occupant of the body, but I metaphysically exist independent of it with another form entirely. So reading guides on switching is a huge mess of "ok what do you mean because that is not how we work, what are we supposed to do exactly?".
The Headspace
Our default headspace is the void, which is a whole bunch of black nothing aside from the couch, lamp, and coffee table (and those are relatively new additions). If you've seen this post, that's basically the entirety of all that's in there. Even though it's virtually endless in all directions, the best way to think about it is that it's metaphorically in a bubble. In a very convoluted way, Gaster is a part of the void in a literal sense, so he has decent control over it (he could just meld down and be a disembodied voice if he really wanted to, less energy). He can keep our system's "bubble" of the void closed to prevent visitors from coming in, and can temporarily make "rooms" that's like being in a void on your own.
The void headspace also has the fronting room, which does look like an actual room but doesn't function for what it was made for. So as of right now it is a room you can stand in if you don't want to stand somewhere else, and that's about it (Drom likes to paint in there lol). It's unclear if the fronting room is connected to the void or its own thing. The door that goes out of the room leads into the void, but how you get to the fronting room from the void is a bit fuzzy. Sometimes the room is just freestanding in the distance and sometimes it isn't. My only guess is that it "loads/unloads" based on if someone is entering or exiting the room, so if someone's not currently going through the door then after a few moments it'll just poof if you're outside of it.
Another completely separate headspace we use regularly is a canyon area that has things like Drom's fishing pond, a forest, and a house. Unlike the void though, it cannot sustain itself and I have to actively "manifest" it so-to-speak, which takes a lot of mental energy and can result in headaches if done for too long. When I stop manifesting it the headspace reverts to the default void, so using another headspace is an event we usually have to plan for a specific block of time.
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thana-topsy · 8 months
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If you're up for sharing more writing tips, how can I tell if what I've written is actually any good? With writing I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like I'm the next Shakespeare while writing but then I'll look over my work a few days later and absolutely hate everything and think it's the most cringe shit ever, then I'll leave it a bit longer and think eh it's not as bad as I thought but still not great and so on. I feel like being forced to write for a grade during school and having everything be marked and assessed and assigned a particular value has robbed me of the ability to critically analyse my own work in a way that's objective and accurate but also fair and realistic. I can analyse other peoples' stuff till the cows come home but I lose all rational thought when it comes to my own stuff
Adding onto that, how do I get to the point where I can stop looking back at my old work and hating everything and wanting to delete it all? Realistically I know finding fault with my old stuff is good bc it means I've grown and improved from where I once was etc but at the same time I wanna enjoy stuff I've made in the past without cringing every time I read it
Hey there Nony, I wanted to let this one percolate a little bit before answering because I've been where you are. And it's a rough time for sure. But aside from my own experiences, I also wanted to get the opinions of some of my writerly friends in the fandom, too, since everyone is a little font of wisdom in their own right.
So I'm going to share their advice alongside my own, because this is kind of a complicated string of questions you're asking. Long post ahead!
@paraparadigm says to Keep Writing: "Write more. Write so much (and so many different things) that eventually the sheer volume bulldozes over self-devouring ego, comparison twitches, or feeling lost, because you don't yet know your own baseline. Coupled with "read more, read everything, read things you enjoy and things you don't, read for the craft as much as the entertainment." And: "I'd add that when revisiting old writing, it's helpful for me to differentiate between "ew the writing is not as technically solid as it is now" and "ah that's interesting, I guess that's where I was at then, emotionally and psychologically". Old writing is also a sort of archaeological record of your younger self, and that can, in fact, be a bit itchy to revisit, so learning to cherish that without passing judgement can be really helpful. I try to treat it like those little marks one puts on the door jamb to track a kid's height."
@mareenavee says "Part of it is writing more, as Para said and I will always second that. Another part is, honestly, the hardest part. It's to try very hard to get out of the habit of negative self-talk.... There's so much work involved with this but normalizing being proud of your work and having some grace with yourself is part of that answer."
@archangelsunited says "Early on, instead of going “this has to be a masterpiece” I would tell myself my only job was to tell a story. I couldn’t tell a story if I was deleting it. Also, talking about your work helps. The less ashamed I was of my writing, the more people wanted to read it. There is a need to hide your work, and that can lead to a downward spiral all its own. And, 90% of the time, you have to suck at something to learn to be good at something. The work you already wrote shouldn’t be the sum of all your skill, it should be one of those measuring sticks for the moment. Despite previous thought, you won’t be stuck at the same level forever."
@polypolymorph says "In addition to accumulating experience via reading and writing, you also have to be willing to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately the Process™️ is unique to everyone, and even when you are deliberately mimicking a voice as, say, a ghost writer, you can't expect that 2+2=4 for you. Your process might look more like a Lotka-Volterra equation for the same type of work and that's okay. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what advice actually works for you--and if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't get stuck on pop writing advice like a sad roomba does on an upturned rug. Learn when to throw it out."
So there's some advice from some other excellent writers! I hope you've been able to find some value in their advice, because it certainly kicked me in the pants a few times.
As for me, I think, having been where you are, my biggest piece of advice is: Find joy in the craft. Get curious instead of critical. An artist shouldn't down themselves over a rough sketch when they're working out a drawing, so why would a writer do such a thing? Everything you write is practice. Everything you make has value because it builds up to the next thing you make.
At the end of the day, you are the only one who is capable of telling the stories that are in your head. This fact alone gives whatever you put onto paper value, regardless of quality. You are creating magic, in the most literal sense! Creating something out of nothing, conjuring images into someone else's mind from hundreds of thousands of miles away, transcending space and time. It's amazing!
Lastly, my final piece of advice is to just write for fun. Write things nobody else will ever see just because you wanted to get words onto paper. You have to unlearn what was drilled into you in school. You are more than a content creation machine. You are an artist, a wordsmith. And just know that there will never be a day when you look at your own work and say "That's it, I have achieved perfection."
Writing is a life-long journey. Just enjoy the ride!
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aylacavebear · 26 days
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Stockroom Antics - Chapter 15
A/N: This is, by far, my favorite chapter out of the ones I've written. I love how it turned out, and I hope all of you like it as well. Enjoy.
Maria had changed jobs numerous times over the last five years, more to keep herself safe than anything else. Her mother had told her she was a fairy but she thought it was just her mom being weird. Honestly, though, she had no other way of explaining what had happened to her that stormy day before she'd gone into a coma for two weeks.
Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will probably be 18+ I haven't decided yet!
Word Count: 2675
Pairing eventually Dean Winchester x OC
Warnings: Angst
A/N: This one's written a little differently than my last one. Let me know what you think. It's the first time I've tried this type of writing. Chapters will alternate viewpoints as well. I also looked into an actual area so this one could feel more realistic. This one is taking on a life of it's own in a turn I hadn't anticipated, so adding a new tag.
----------------------------------------- Stockroom Antics Chapter 15
The dream came to you again, but it was far different this time than you’d ever experienced. Typically, you didn’t interact with any of them, and you barely ever interacted with anything in the environment.
The breeze was cool against your skin in the forest that towered over and around you. This place always made you think of how an ant might see the world around it. The trunks of the trees were so large that a home could be built inside one of them, with several stories. Then there was the plant life that came in all shapes and sizes, even some interesting yet odd colors.  There was a well-worn path, so you followed it like you always did. This time, though, you gently touched the plant life around you as you passed by it, even smelling some of the very odd-shaped flowers. As you walked, you heard odd sounds. All you could guess was that they were either birds of some sort or perhaps even bugs. Everything prior to this was always muffled, and you were more of an invisible observer. Soon, the path opened up to what looked like a village. You noticed other things that looked like people, but only a tiny portion of them were human. You weren’t sure how you knew this; you just did. There were even children running around, playing. Several of these people smiled at you as you walked by, so you returned a friendly smile to them. 
“Nice to finally see you,” a woman said when she approached you, causing you to stop in your tracks. “You can see me?” you asked, completely puzzled. “Of course I can. We’ve all been waiting for you. I’m Asteria. It’s my job to greet the newcomers,” she told you excitedly. At this point, you felt like you had a million questions but no idea where to even start, “How?” was all you managed to get out. She giggled and took your hand, “Come on. Let's sit down and talk.” Asteria took you over toward a large tree that looked like it was someone’s home, and a table with two chairs appeared out of thin air. Your shock made you sit down, slowly, setting your hands on the table as you did to steady yourself. “Okay. I’m going to guess that you either found your soulmate and are in the beginning stages of getting to know each other. Or…” she paused, tilting her head a bit, “You’re trying to exhaust yourself and force the awakening.” The mere mention of the soulmate thing helped you find your tongue, “Soulmates aren’t a thing,” you stated, rolling your eyes. She giggled again, covering her mouth to stifle some of it, “Oh dear, soulmates are a thing. For a Peri, it’s a very important thing, too.” That was when a man came up to her and kissed her on the cheek, gently setting his hand on the small of her back, “Hello dear. I felt your excitement. Care to introduce us?” he said with a happy smile. All you could do was tilt your head a bit in confusion, your expression matching. Something you’d never believed in was apparently very real. After your accident, you had reserved yourself to be alone, figuring no one would ever accept you for the things you could do. More than likely finding you odd or a freak.  “Breccan, this is Maria. She finally made it, at least in her dreams,” Asteria told him, still utterly excited. “I’m trying to explain the soulmate thing to her.”
“Oh,” he said, then turned to you, giving you a friendly smile, “Nice to meet you, Maria. Soulmates are a very real thing. I’m not a Pari like you and Asteria. I’m an angel. Anything with a soul is capable of having a soulmate.” You literally couldn’t believe what you were hearing at the moment. It went against everything you’d believed and everything you’d told yourself. You just looked between the two of them. Breccan looked back down at Asteria, “You’ve got your hands full with this one,” he chuckled before he kissed her on the cheek again and left. She smiled and shook her head a bit before looking back at you, “Why don’t you believe in soulmates?” It took you a moment to snap out of your thoughts and confusion, as well as your surprise and shock of this entire situation before you could even answer her. “With where I’m from, no one will accept me with what I can do,” you sighed and finally were able to look away from her. “Oh honey,” she said sympathetically, “Having a soulmate is something a Peri needs to be completely fulfilled. You’ll always feel like a piece of you is missing until you find them. You just have to open yourself up to the possibility. I’m not saying to hope for it, just… don’t close yourself off to it,” she explained compassionately.
“You’ve had to talk to others about this before, haven’t you,” you asked, mostly mumbling as you remembered what the books had said. Although, the books hadn’t mentioned anything about this place. “I was a lot like you once. It was a very long time ago, though. Would you believe I’m just over three hundred years old?” she chuckled, “I didn’t even find my soulmate till almost fifty years ago now. I saw a lot of other Peri find theirs. After a couple hundred years, I began to lose hope that I’d ever find mine. I even traveled to different dimensions. The moment I gave up completely, I found Beccan. Or, I should say, he found me.” Her story surprised you further, causing you to look up at her again. She didn’t look a day over twenty-five. You figured that had to be the magic of the Pari, as well as their dimension and living in the community that they did. Just then, a small, purple-colored dragon landed on the table, staring at you, causing you to jump.
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“What is that?” you asked, shocked. “Huh, that doesn’t normally happen till after a Peri goes through its awakening,” Asteria remarked, slightly surprised. “What doesn’t normally happen?” you asked, your focus on the purple dragon that was the size of a large cat or even a small dog. It just kept staring at you, blinking like it was waiting for something. “Having your familiar show up and bond with you,” she replied, looking down at the little dragon. Then, her eyes widened, and she looked up at you, “Unless you’ve recently met your soulmate, and you don’t know it.” There was an odd excitement in her tone.
The thought of that worried you a bit. You’d only recently met three people, all men: the brothers and the King of Hell. That last one made you shiver, as it creeped you out quite a bit. You looked from Asteria to the little purple dragon, “Not sure how I feel about that. What… how…” you weren’t even sure how to ask your question. Asteria tilted her head a bit as she looked at you, “How do you bond with your familiar? It’s fairly easy. Just interact with it,” she practically chuckled. You weren’t sure if you enjoyed the amusement she was getting out of your situation, but you didn’t say anything. Interact with a dragon the size of a large cat. It looked harmless, at least at the moment. A sense of determination coursed through you. Then, you reached out your hand toward the little dragon. It hadn’t stopped staring at you since it had landed there. Now, it tilted its head, still blinking at you. The moment you touched its head, a warmth passed over your entire body, and the little dragon became almost animated, playful, in an excited sort of way. The way it even seemed to act like a cat, more like a kitten, made you laugh and giggle. It turned itself in a few circles, mouth open, almost like it was smiling. Then, it laid down on its back, feet up in the air, and its tail was almost wagging. Your laughter only got louder, and you rubbed its belly. “Can you hear its thoughts yet?” she asked you, tilting her head. You looked up at her, “Huh?” “Okay, so not yet. Well, as the bond increases, you’ll be able to communicate with each other, telepathically,” she explained, smiling happily. “So, what happens now?” you asked her, looking back down at the little dragon and smiling again, still rubbing its belly.
“Well, eventually you’ll wake up. You clearly exhausted yourself. Depending on how badly will depend on how long you sleep. Your little familiar there can move between this dimension and the one you’re in. So, she’ll probably hang out with you for a while. When the telepathy starts, the first thing you’ll probably hear is her name,” she explained to you. “What’s this place called?” you asked her, not looking up from the little dragon. “Our little community here is called Whispering Woods. This dimension is called Etheria. We’re only one community on this particular planet. The reason you came here is because this is where your bloodline is. When your powers do awaken, you’ll recognize your extended family,” she told you, happy to answer any and all of your questions. The little dragon was getting rather playful, then flew off. You watched it, somewhat puzzled. Just when you wondered what it was up to, it landed back on the table in front of you, something round in its mouth. It then dropped it on the table, causing you to tilt your head. The thing it dropped was mostly round and blue, and when you picked it up, it was only slightly soft. The dragon's eyes never left the small object in your hands. “What? You want to play fetch or something?” you asked it, puzzled. Your question made the little dragon jump up and down and then run in circles a couple of times, causing you to laugh again. So, you tossed the ball, but before it could hit the ground, the little dragon flew over and caught it in mid-air. It then came back to the table and dropped the ball in front of you again. “It's kinda cute,” you chuckled.
“Dragons aren’t normally familiars, especially the smaller ones. I’ll be interested to see what happens when your powers do fully awaken and what you’ll be capable of. Some Pari are different, and we all have a different set of powers. Some are more powerful than others. Then there's what your soulmate brings out in you,” she told you, chuckling at the little dragon, “The fact that you were born a human and this little girl is your familiar is also interesting.” You sat and talked with her for at least an hour, playing fetch with the little dragon. It eventually found its way to your lap, curling up in a ball and going to sleep on you, your hand resting over its wings on its back. That’s when you heard it, a male voice, only it sounded far away, almost a whisper. You turned your head, looking around for the source. “Sounds like you might be ready to wake up soon,” Astaria told you, causing you to look at her, puzzled again. “What do you mean?” you asked. “Someone is trying to wake you,” she explained, smiling a little. Who would be in your room, you thought to yourself as you closed the door before passing out. You also felt a pull on your body, well, your dream body, and wondered if perhaps this was more of astral projection than actual dreaming.  “Will I see you again?” you asked her. “I’m sure you will,” she chuckled.  You got the sneaking suspicion that she knew more than she was telling you at the moment. Then, the dragon disappeared out of your lap. You looked around, wondering where it could have gotten off to. Before you could do much else, everything went black.
In the waking world, the little purple dragon had appeared on your bed, startling the brothers, who were both in your room. It gently climbed onto your stomach and sat there, staring at them as they both backed up toward the door.
“Sam, what the hell is that?” Dean asked, shocked and worried.
“It uh… it looks like an actual dragon,” he replied, more puzzled than anything.
Dean shook his head as that wasn’t what he’d meant, “No, I mean, what the hell is it doing here?” he clarified.
“I don’t know. None of the books said anything about dragons and Pari,” Sam replied, still utterly puzzled.
“How are we supposed to get close enough to wake her up now? She’s been out all day,” Dean spoke his thoughts as he stared at the little purple dragon. It wasn’t hurting you, and it didn’t seem to be aggressive.
Sam’s face contorted as he worked through his thoughts, just as puzzled as Dean, “Just walk over to her, slowly. Try not to look threatening,” he suggested.
Dean looked at his brother, “Seriously?!”
“Yeah. I mean, if what the books said were right, you’re her soulmate. You should be fine,” Sam stated, hoping he was right. 
You heard none of this, as you hadn’t quite made it out of your sleep yet. Dean took a deep breath, slowly moving closer to you, his hands up in as non-threatening a way as possible. The little dragon watching him even tilted its head.
“It’s okay, little, uh… thing, I mean, dragon. I just want to wake her up,” Dean told it, trying to act calm.
When Dean got close enough to reach your shoulder, he gingerly reached down to shake you but never took his eyes off the little dragon. Although, the little dragon hadn’t taken its eyes off of him either. It just watched him somewhat curiously. Then, it hopped so that its body was facing him, causing him to jump back a little and take a deep breath.
“You sure it’s not gonna get all violent?” Dean asked his brother, not looking away from it.
Sam had to think, as he really wasn’t sure, “Pretty sure.”
“That doesn’t help,” Dean groaned.
He moved closer again, reaching out to your shoulder, gently shaking you, “Maria, wake up. It’s almost dinner time, and you’ve been asleep all day,” he told you.
You stretched, arms above your head, causing the dragon to open its mouth, almost like it was smiling, and its tail began to wag, its eyes now watching you and not Dean. He shook you again, causing you to finally open your eyes. Before you could say anything, the little dragon came over and began rubbing its head against your cheek, making you giggle, then reach out and give it gentle loves.
“What are you doing here?” you asked it, still groggy. It just made an almost purring sound against you.
“Wait? You know that thing?” Dean asked, more confused than he had been a moment ago.
Another giggle escaped your lips as you scooped up the little dragon and sat up in your bed, “Yeah. I met her in my dream. She’s uh, my familiar,” you explained as the little dragon sat proudly in your lap, looking back and forth at the brothers.
“I need a drink,” Dean grumbled.
“None of the books said anything about a familiar,” Sam stated, staring at the dragon.
“It’s a long story,” you chuckled, “Is there any chance for some coffee, and I’ll tell you about it?”
“Uh, sure,” Sam answered, still fairly confused.
Since your door was open, the moment you went to stand up, the little dragon hopped off your lap and flew out of your room. Both brothers ducked out of the way, even if Dean was nowhere near your door. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. Your stay with them was about to get even more interesting than it already had been.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 16
Tag List: @djs8891
Link to the series Master List
A/N: If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, leave me a comment, and I'll make sure to tag you.
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bluewinnerangel · 1 year
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About Louis about Chicago
I can't help but feel the things Louis says about Chicago have a layered meaning to them (as I feel with most things he says - but among everything he's been saying about the songs on FITF, Chicago feels like an outlier to me. As if there's some need to elaborate in this way while for most other songs it's just idk that pressure isn't there if that makes sense), there's just something between the lines there, and I don't mean this is for us to "figure out", its his alone, I'm just loving him potentially finding ways to say things coming from a deeper place without giving too much (or anything) away. This post got little to do with the meaning of Chicago, its just hey did you notice this too lol that's it. So in bold his quotes about Chicago:
"It is a special song to me and almost not by choice it just is" - it was a necessity to get this out? it's... not by choice it just is. I feel like this quote is bigger than whatever I can think of. (Track-By-Track)
(about Dave Gibson the only co-writer on Chicago getting him: "Sometimes what I find challenging, is I can see the picture or I can hear the song or I can see the concerts in my head and sometimes it’s quite hard to articulate that cause you’ve got such a clear vision in your head and you just want someone else to be able to read your mind, go ‘Yeah that’s what Im talking about!’" - Again (so far) this is the only song on this album where he's making it known as far as i know he had trouble putting what he had in his head into words. This quote is also about Dave understanding him well in general, but talking about Chicago is what prompted him to say this. (Track-By-Track)
Dave Gibson said "I honestly love everything we wrote - but I think Chicago is a really really special record" - again emphasizing this one's more. (Dave Gibson on Twitter)
[when asked about the meaning:] "Yeah, I’m gonna leave that one close to me chest that one. Pretty kind of raw lyric that, that lyric kind of hits you in the heart but nah, I’m not telling you." - the essence here. (Z100 NY)
"even from that first lyric you know I saw you had a baby did you use any names that we liked like that it kind of hits you straight away [compares it to the brashness as he's calling it of Face The Music] but its important obviously to have shade to the line" (it's gotta be "line" but I really hear him say "lie") - this can mean so many things? (Track-By-Track)
"one of those songs [...] I'm referencing my lyrical maturity and its not some i think i could have written on the last record because i think its a concept that i havent necessarily heard before" - again this can mean many things. (Track-By-Track)
but again this "I've personally not heard the concept [of chicago] before" ???? WHAT? Whu- the concept like the casual listen concept is like.. yo we didn't work out. So what is he thinking here. Within his own discography? Is he trying to put emphasis on his song being like super specific and that's what he hasn't heard before? How is he viewing this song that makes him say this. (Track-By-Track)
"It's a very honest [and then immediately:] I will say maybe half of it you know is is imaginative half it based on personal experience [and then immediately:] probably like most songs in reality" - He's really putting it out there that it's "half real autobiographical half imagination" (Track-By-Track)
"But, but I will say, I do have a special relationship with Chicago, like it is, it is I mean yeah its a cool place. I mean I do feel this kind of affiliation to, to Chicago, but mostly it’s half theoretical, imaginative, and half based on real events" - adding mainly because he did put into words there is some affiliation to Chicago, and that the half-theoretical, half real events gets repeated like its apparently important its out there lol. (102.7 KIIS FM)
he keeps calling the song "emotional" - obviously it's deeply emotional but... he's saying this the most about this song by far and then just not elaborating at all. not that i need him too, just stands out to me.
Then there's him agreeing on it being the most pop song on the album, while at many points in this promo run he's been clear on wanting to step away from that, but then here's him wholeheartedly agreeing "DEFINITELY" and absolutely not in a negative way, and ready to elaborate, but unfortunately the interviewer wasn't done and clarifies "it's a nice sort of way to transition from walls into this new album" and he goes "exactly yeah that's kind of how I see it [...] it's not trying to be anything that it's not" which I think is so fascinating? Maybe the most of all in this list? It's making me think he purposefully went poppy on this one because it fits the concept of Chicago? Like he's traveling back in time sonically on purpose? Maybe? (Track-By-Track)
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cobwebcorner · 3 months
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If you don't mind me asking, how do you plan/structure your fics? Do you have an outline you stick to faithfully, or do you let the characters go where they want to go? How do you maintain a consistent plot over multiple stories while keeping them independent? How do you keep track of all the things going on in a single story, and how they interact? Your fics are always really well planned out and have tons of plot threads running through and I'm really curious as to what method you use to handle it.
Also in a similar writing advice vein, how do you maintain characterization, and even showcase it, in the middle of such plot-heavy stories? Most stories I read are either character-driven or plot driven, but yours address both yet also have them tie so well together and I just? Am really curious as to how you do it I guess.
Baby writer here struggling with plot, would absolutely appreciate any advice you could give.
sorry this took me a while to reply, the askbox didn't eat it it just took me time to get all my thoughts down coherently.
Plotting stories is a subject about which whole books have been written, and I don't pretend that I can cover everything in a single post, or even that I have that much useful advice. I can talk about how I approach it, but it might not work for everyone.
In Nano terms I'm what you'd call a 'plantser' -- half planning, half by the seat of my pants. Another metaphor I've seen used is a gardener growing plants up a trellis. I know where my series as a whole is heading, I have a few landmarks plotted out along an extremely bare bones outline, and I try to nudge my characters along the route as organically as possible. Full, detailed outlines just don't work for me because I get bored if everything is nailed down.
Usually I have a central idea/scene in mind when I start a fic, and then I get ideas for other scenes, and I get those down, and then it's all just filling in the middle bits. Outlining is mostly used in two situations: 1. for working out choreography in more complicated bits (like action scenes) 2. for quickly preserving my ideas when I don't have the time to sit down and write a scene out. All my outlines are really quick and dirty too. Here, I'll show you an excerpt of the outline for MaM:
An encounter of the BOW variety? “He gave it wings. Of course, he gave it wings.” “What is this guy's deal?” “I don't know, his parents had the poor taste to name him 'Angelus,' and things spiraled from there.” find angelus's bedroom Leon reads his diary Wesker is incredulous “Snooping's a bad habit,” he admitted. Why? I just want to understand. Even if it does nothing for you? so curious, leon
yeah that's how I outline. Half the time I don't have complete thoughts, just keywords to remind me of things and scraps of dialog.
I do not have a system of organization for keeping track of things. My fics manage the level of polish they have because of--wait for it, this is going to send everyone screaming--EDITING. Yup. This is the boon of writing a story before posting it: I can go back and change things as much as I want! I can even write things out of order! (I usually write things out of order) I reread what I have written so far a lot, making notes on elements I forgot about, dangling threads or plot holes to resolve, and spelling/grammar mistakes to fix. I also reread the series as a whole periodically, not to help with planning, but just because I like my own writing (I write for myself after all).
As far as characterization goes, I've already written a post with broad advice about characterization. For me at this point, it's like. I run Leon.exe and Wesker.exe on the meat computer that is my brain, dump them into a little maze, and write down what they do. I know that's not terribly helpful.
Sometimes I keep notes as I go along about where people's relationships are with each other, their power dynamics (for MaM I had a little scale to tell me who was "on top" at any given point), and if a scene is really struggling along I plot out what each character wants at that moment. I might even write a version of the scene just for myself from a different character's pov so I know their side. Sometimes I find the scene works better from the other pov and dump the original version! (this happened with chris, jill, and leon in the bar)
Basically, I try to keep in mind that every character in a room is their own human, with their own thoughts and internal world and motivations. It's useful to know all the potential conflicts between characters in every conversation. It's also important not to forget about your side characters. If they still have a reason to involve themselves with the plot, or they're still in the room, you should mention them and what they're doing now and then.
FURTHER RESOURCES
Here's an old blog post by jim butcher (author of the dresden files) which helped me a little back in the day, specifically with getting over the middle bits: https://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/1865.html?nojs=1
And let me also point you in the direction of the writing excuses podcast, which is run by brandon sanderson (author of the mistborn series) and several other published writers. I haven't listened to all of it myself but sanderson's a good writer and what I have listened to is interesting.
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natalieironside · 10 months
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Introducing the Writer Tag Game
Ty @iloveyou-writers for making this and to @thewriteflame for tagging me <3
Rules: fill in the blanks with as much or little detail as you would like and tag some writer friends to play too. (blank version)
Hello, there. My name is award-winning speculative fiction author Natalie H. Ironside and I won a writing contest in high school one time that I'm gonna milk harder than Pabst milks their one blue ribbon. I'm a writer of the dark sci-fi and dark fantasy genre(s) and I love to write about sad gay ppl in horrible situations. Also, hope. The hope is very important, and my stories can get pretty dark but they always have happy endings.
I cover a broad enough range that I think I can just reject the dichotomy of SFW/NSFW (everything is adequately tagged and described so the rest is in God's hands). I write about some pretty dark themes and a lot of my work deals with the aftermath of stuff like sexual violence and child abuse, so just be aware of that, as well as the "entrails, lovingly described" throughout. Tropes you will never find in my writing include any salacious depictions of sexual violence (the word "aftermath" in the above is an important one) or...Well, I'm not sure how to put this. Most of my protags are racial, religious, sexual, or some other sort of minority, and obviously there's some darkness in the world et cetera, but there's a certain way of framing bigotry in fiction as though it's cinematic action violence which I find uniquely distasteful and I will not be doing any of that. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this in a way that makes any sense at all but I promise to never try to be the Kojima of sexism.
In my humble opinion, my best work I've posted is The Scruggsdale Organizer #4: Local Woman About Tired of All This Mess because I think it's very funny. Maybe I'm just being precious, but comedy is really really hard and I very rarely even bother trying at it but I'm pretty proud of The Scruggsdale Organizer and this installment in particular. For y'all who don't know, which I'm sure is a lot of y'all since I haven't posted about it in forever, The Scruggsdale Organizer is an epistolary horror-comedy serial about a little town in rural Mississippi where strange supernatural things happen, but instead of blog posts or letters the story is being told through articles in a weekly anarchist zine. Yeah, I guess I've written some "novels" and some "short stories" and some "poetry" or whatever, but I look at Scruggsdale Organizer #4 as a time I set out to do a specific thing and just really nailed it; it's the literary equivalent of parking the car in the spot just right.
My all-time favorite character I've made is Freydis Gothi Thorkilsdottir, daughter of Thorkil Gothi Swordbreaker, Matron of War Witches, Matron of War Matrons, High Field Marshal, Eater of Cities, Mother of Abominations, and Chief Royal Consort. She's a recurring protagonist in my Nameless Queen dark fantasy universe and I am love her very much. Freydis is an enormous ginger transsexual, a sword-and-board fighter who can cast wicked spells, and a rough-and-tumble freebooting adventurer type who suddenly found herself part of the royal court and fast-tracked into becoming a monstrous demigod. It's super weird for her and she's dealing with a whole "to become a god is to lose everything that made life worth living" situation but she's also having a rip-roaring good time while she does it.
Something I'd love for you to know about my writing that isn't listed in this game is, well, I feel like we got kinda dark in the middle there, so I wanted to end back where we began and talk about hope. What really does it for me when it comes to the dark stuff is recovery; I like telling stories about recovery. My characters sometimes have very very bad days, but tomorrow can always be better than yesterday and there's always a reason to keep trying.
Thank you for reading and now I challenge the following people to fill this out: I seem to have misplaced my list of people who said they liked participating in tag games so I'm leaving this one open. I tag each and every one of you.
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orchidscript · 8 months
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For the writing ask, 3, 14, and 71?
hi there! long time no see :) I've been saving these for my break so thank you!
3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic.
I see stories play out in my head like movies or long form television shows. It's very visual and will live in my head like a daydream until I feel I have enough content to make it a real thing.
Then I create my outline and my spec sheets (see Q #71 at the end).
And then I write the whole story out by hand.
You read that right. The whole fic -- no matter how long or short, how detailed or convoluted it might be -- gets written out by hand in a notebook. Why? Two reasons:
it's easier to disguise what I'm doing when I'm in meetings or on my breaks. I used to do this in college too. You look like you're taking notes, and people tend to respect the "don't read over your shoulder" when it's a notebook, not a laptop.
It allows me to write more slowly, think actively about my word choice and pacing and dialogue, and THEN I can treat typing it up for posting as a 2nd draft, editing and adding as I go.
This is how I write everything. Fanfic, original fiction, essays when I was in college, any article I wrote when I worked for magazines and as a newspaper stringer, lesson and unit plans, legit everything.
14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?
I draw from personal experience and use tone-specific music for when I'm writing it to try better getting into that headspace. Depending on the story, I'll occasionally fall back on my ex-journalist hat and interview someone I know who has a certain experience to try to connect more authentically with the scene, the characters, and workshop the overall tone of the piece.
I know so many fanfic writers will hide the fact that they're writing fanfic. I do too. I straight up tell people I'm working on a piece of fiction and, if they ever ask to read what becomes of it, I change the names out and send them a 3 paragraph snippet. They are none the wiser, I assure you. I did this with my own father after he helped me research the timeline for a Cold War AU I was working on once upon a time ;)
71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?
For shorter fics (10 chapters or less), I tend to keep my "story specs" -- outline, character notes, chapter titles, etc. -- at the top of my document so I can refer back to it whenever I need or want to. They look something like this:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The first two are for my WWI "Monuments Men" AU, In the Stars. The second is for a series of short fics in a White Collar AU, Portrait of a Thief. Both are Red, White, & Royal Blue if y'all are interested. There's a link to my Ao3 in my blog intro :)
For longer fics (11+ chapters) and all my more complex AUs, I keep a whole separate document for those materials. I call them my "Specs Docs" and have them open when I'm writing the story. They contain:
the story title
chapter number
chapter by chapter word count
the summary I'll use when I post on Ao3
List of characters I'm using and what their roles/ages/etc. are
Full list of ALL story notes -- i.e. back story, characterization details, connections to canon details; literally whatever crosses my mind when I'm constructing/reconstructing characters.
the FULL story outline, including dialogue snippets that I type in when I think of them so I don't lose them.
And (for some of my historic fics) an accurate timeline of the historical events, people, places, etc. so that I don't get caught out putting, say, the evacuation of the Louvre in March of 1940 instead of August 1939.
I wish I was kidding. I am not kidding. I'm not trying to show off or show up or anything (I've been accused of that in the past). I just legitimately like sinking this much time and thought into my stories, even if they're "just fanfiction." I have to give my fanfic that much effort because no one reads my original stuff. Gotta give myself what I want where it's actually, you know, counting?
Sorry, that was probably WAY more granular than you were expecting, but I hope it gives y'all some insight into the insanity of the inside of my brain. And yes, my lessons look like this too ;)
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hecckyeah · 1 month
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#3, 4, 15, 24 for the fic ask game!!
Hii!!! Thanks so much for the ask <3
3. Are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics?
Ooh, this is such a good question but I feel like my answer is going to be sort of vague. It really really REALLY depends on the themes I'm going with for each individual fic. I do love LOVE playing with the found family trope and all its facets and nuances, but I don't get to it all that often. But a theme that keeps cropping up (and I probably do this subconsciously) is fighting with the unknown, if that makes sense. In which my characters are making peace with something beyond their control. Hmm I wonder if my writing is reflecting my own psyche or something. Weird
4. How do you channel characters' voices and personalities?
HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF CONSUMING THEIR CONTENT. Oh my gosh I swear I've single-handedly kept the Youtube scene compilation people in business. I'll literally watch them over and over and over again until I'm thinking in their voices and I can't get rid of it, and that's when my best dialogue happens. I absolutely suck at dialogue unless I've been living and breathing those characters for days on end. If I can't hear the physical voices in my mind's ear (is that a thing?) then I basically can't write them. Same with their personalities and physical quirks. I need to be able to see and visualize each movement, or it feels off and foreign and I end up trashing whatever I write. Basically I have to play out the scene I'm writing in my mind like it's a movie, and if I can imagine that scene in the show/movie/book it came from, then I know I'm probably on the right track.
15. Do you plan your fics or prefer to let the story unfold as you write?
Hah, yeah I'm a write-as-you-go kinda gal. It works out well for one-shots, since the format lends itself to a wandering, thoughtful kind of style, but that's definitely why I struggle with longform multi-chapter fics, since my characters always make decisions they didn't clear with me first, and I'm usually sitting here rolling my eyes and trying to get the story back on track as they go do their own thing. Even the couple of times I did plan the fic out from beginning to end, I still ended up making changes on the fly and it ended in a totally different place than I'd imagined. Basically I just write in a direction that makes sense, and then I edit afterward to make it look like I planned it all from the beginning. Not always, because sometimes my brain cooperates and everything comes together without any need for post-editing, and I love it when that happens :)))
24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?
I would definitely say, try out a few styles of writing and see what sticks!! If you hate longform or can't wrap your mind around first person perspective, then don't push it! Stick to what feels right and then hone that skill. Don't worry about what other fanfiction writers are doing, because having a unique style is a good thing. If you sound like every other author, that's how people will see you -- as just one of the masses. Write in the style you enjoy, and people will notice your passion and love for your craft.
If you haven't written a lot in general and are just starting out with writing altogether, READ A LOT, all the time. Read good literature, like the old classics. Read YA fantasy. Read graphic novels. Read everything. You can't write if you haven't read first, even if what you're writing for is a movie or show. It's like deciding to paint a picture of a shark, even though the only description you've ever heard of it is that it has sharp teeth and is long and bluish-gray with fins. Yeah, you might end up with a blob-type shape that maybe could be interpreted as an abstract shark, but in order to paint a realistic shark you need to have examined all its sides and colors and shapes and movements. You have to know the shark like the back of your hand. You can't learn anything about writing by watching movies. You need to know how stories are structured in a word format before trying to put it all together yourself.
And if you've written a lot before but are just starting out in the fanfiction world, I would just say that fandom is a totally weird and different beast altogether. Post small things, post big projects, and realize that not everything is going to be popular. Find the joy in the craft itself and see the recognition as the cherry on top.
Find a niche and explore it!! Dig into a couple of key moments of the piece of media you're creating for, and really expand and explore the themes there.
And in the end, just write because you love the media, and nothing else. If you fall out of love with the book/movie/show, it's OKAY to stop writing for it. You are NOT a failure for putting a fanfic on hiatus for a long time. You're not getting paid for it, and fans are not entitled to you slapping together a halfhearted ending to something you don't feel passionate about anymore. Leave the door open to finish it the right way in case you come back to the fandom and want to pick up where you left off. We're all just human, and obsessions come and go.
Write because you love to write, and try not to worry about the nitty gritty of it all.
---
questions for fic writers
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Experiment FAQ
What is the Experiment?
Originally, I designed this experiment to help myself out when I was having a hard time getting writing done just after getting a new job.  My lack of energy and feeling like I had no one to share my progress with started to get me down. 
So I came up with an idea: for every ask I received here on my writing blog, I would write at least 100 words before I answered it!  This method worked wonders for me because it gave me a caveat: if I wanted to interact with the community, I had to get some writing done.  It has since grown, and now over 30 other writeblrs are participating!
How Do I Participate?
It’s as simple as deciding that you want to start using this method, too!  I encourage you to let me know so I can add you to the participants list (linked below) and send a ‘checking in’ ask every once in a while, but that is not a requirement!
You can let me know via DM, reply, reblog, or through an ask! If you send me an ask, I will add you as soon as I get it, but I won't publicly answer until after I've written my 100 words XD
What are the Rules?
You get an ask, you write a hundred words, you answer it.  That’s it!  You can decide if you want to keep track of your progress, or answer the asks normally with no indication that you’re even participating.
Some have taken the idea and made it their own.  For instance, @sleepyowlwrites designates some time when the experiment applies, but otherwise is not always using this method.  @antique-symbolism asks that, if you want your ask to apply, you write “100” before or after, so they know!  And @himbos-hotline switched it from 100 words per ask to 15 minute sprints per ask!  All variations are valid and welcome, that’s why it’s called an “experiment,” it’s about finding what works for you!
What Should I Keep Track of and How?
It’s up to you!  I personally add which WIP I worked on, how many words I wrote for that ask, and how much I’ve written for the experiment as a whole.  I write it at the end of every ask after a divider image. It’s motivating for me to see the number slowly tick up at the end of every ask, but it’s a lot to keep track of!  Some only keep track of total, some only list how many the ask generated, and some don’t keep track at all!
If you're looking to use a tag on your blog to keep track of everything, you can use the collective tag "#the great motivation experiment" or you can make up your own!
What if I Don’t Think This Method Will Work for Me?
That’s totally understandable!  For some, this sort of thing can be overwhelming and the opposite of motivational. 
If you're curious but uncertain, you can always test it out and decide what to do based on your personal results. If it works, great! If not, you can message me privately and let me know you want to drop out. No sweat! I don't mind adding/subtracting your name to the list as many times as you'd like!
If you’re not interested in participating, but still want to be part of the community, you can always check out the participants list and send asks to motivate your fellow writers!  Everyone on it has signed up and agreed to be tagged!
What if Your FAQ Didn’t Answer My Question?
No worries.  I tried to cover the basics, but I am only human after all.  If you still have questions you can always drop into my inbox!  I’ll happily answer your question as soon as I add 100 words to my own word count :D in the meantime, here are some links that might help.
Helpful Links
#The Great Motivation Experiment
Original Post
Participants List
Ask Games (to get you started!)
Whether you decide to join us or not, I hope you’re able to reach all your writing goals!
Happy writing!
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studyof-love-and-life · 7 months
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Hi! I’m a first year uni student and I was wondering if you could help me out with something? It’s my second week and I’m already having trouble balancing my time. In general, how much time should I spend on each class outside of lectures a week? If it changes things I go to a decently prestigious school
[don’t feel pressured to respond if you don’t want to. I just saw your other advice posts and thought it was worth a shot :)]
Hi lovely! Figuring out time management was hard for me when I started undergrad, too. A general rule of thumb I've heard from professors is that for every credit/hour of class you have per week, you should spend 2-3 hours outside of lectures on that class. So in theory, for a 3 credit class you should spend 6-9 hours on it per week. However, I'd say that that isn't always the case! Sometimes you don't need that much time and sometimes you might need more, and I think that comes down to the class and professor more than the school (not the most helpful answer, I know, and I'm sorry for that)
I'm just going to brainstorm some general ideas below 💕
What are you studying? If you're in STEM, you might find yourself doing a lot of problem sets (my best friend was a math major and she was constantly doing work because each class would assign a certain amount of problems, and each would take a long time to do), and maybe some readings on top of that. She said that something that helped her was working with study groups can help keep you on track, and if you like them then it's even better because then you're hanging out with a friend too. She also set a cutoff time everyday where she would stop doing work so she could have a little time for herself
For me with linguistics, I had a LOT of readings to do for all my classes. Learning how to effectively skim texts and still understand the general point is a valuable skill, and it saves a lot of time! Most professors don't expect you to remember every single detail from readings, they often just want you to understand the argument and the general takeaway so you can apply it to the class (my point with asking what you're studying is that depending on the types of assignments, you might need different tips - even though I'd say my friend's tips can apply to anyone)
On a related note, lots of people take notes while reading. I had so many readings sometimes that I didn't have time for that, so if you're in a similar situation, instead of doing detailed reading notes, try reading your chapter/article, and then take a couple minutes to figure out your top 3 concepts from it that you think are most important and write those down with a quick blurb to refer to and what chapter/article the concept is from
Plan ahead and prioritize what you NEED to get done. Sometimes you won't get to everything, and you can't be too hard on yourself about it (which is easier said than done)
I've not tried this personally but I have some friends who set timers when they have multiple classes to study for. When the timer is up, they switch to the next class so they know they at least spent some time on it (it worked for them, maybe it would work for you! Again, I've not tried it)
As classes move forward and you have essays and projects come up, try to break them down into steps over multiple days/weeks. I've found doing that helps keep me from waiting until the last minute
I live by my planner. I tend to forget things if they're not written down, and it helps keep me organized as well (I write down my assignments in different colors based on what class they're for). I've found that if I can see everything I have to do it helps me prioritize and keep on track. Also it's silly but it really feels like you're getting things done when you get to cross things off, which can be oddly encouraging
Schedule in some time for yourself when you can. Part of balancing time in uni is making sure you're not being over worked. Join a club or make sure you have time to do something you enjoy, or even just time to relax :)
I hope this helps and I'm sorry I couldn't help more! Figuring out how to balance time can be pretty tailored to the individual and the classes being taken, but I hope any of these ideas are helpful! Also feel free to keep asking me things, or DM me if you want! You're going to do WONDERUL and AMAZING things ✨️
I'm also going to tag @peregrination-studies! She is my go-to studyblr buddy for if I need any tips or encouragement or a buddy to talk to 💛 check out her blog too (also hi grace! If you have anything you'd add, feel free but of course no pressure <3)
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mytvd · 19 days
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ok, i'm still watching, i've just gotten very ahead of myself and haven't been keeping track of thoughts for every episode. i don't really want to post out of order so everything's in drafts until i feel the holes in.
i was typing thoughts about a much later episode but this bullet point re: stefan vs damon, which turned into "more reasons i like stefan," got super long, so i wanted to post it on its own:
based on my history of engaging with similar media, i should be on the damon train, and stefan should seem really boring to me. but like, he's not that boring!! and a big part of why he chooses to be good (ie, boring) is because of his history of being a murdering psycho (even though even in ripper mode he wasn't really having fun, as evidenced by his corpse reassembly). maybe it's an age thing and maybe if i had watched this as a teen (i mean, impossible because of it when it aired) i would prefer stefan -- i know i found peeta boring in the books/movies at first, because i wasn't going to like teen drama media for like, thoughtful characters and ptsd healing and stuff -- but at this point in time, lol, i just love seeing his consistent patience, gentleness, and general respect for women on a tv show. a popular mainstream tv show!!! like, he treats not just elena with respect, but all of her friends, even before he gets to know them, and he never "objectifies them until he gets to know them better" as happens a lot in other teen media -- he starts out respecting them from the beginning. sooooo much of the time on tv/in movies, women characters have to be considered hot/attractive (particularly by the men characters) first and foremost to have value, and whatever other qualities they possess are secondary and only valued because their hotness means they deserve a closer look or a chance to prove themselves. i mean, there aren't really any non-hot people around (which really destroys the "southern small town" illusion) to observe this with, lol, but at least on this show, a man in the main cast treats all the women with respect, even when there's no concrete benefit for him to do so, even when no one else (ie, his girlfriend) is watching. he sees something worth getting to know in almost anyone he encounters (which is in line with his journaling habit) and he doesn't see people as expendable, even though their lives are so short compared to his, and he can't really rely on people being in his life long-term. i am honestly kind of surprised stefan has remained so consistent in this way, even as the show continues to brutalize women (of all ages, lol, and elena back-to-back-to-back) and kill them off in spades. like, the writing has obviously gotten worse and worse over time, and stefan has had some poorly-written moments for sure that felt like they bent the universe in order to make the plot more convenient instead of digging deeper to make the story make sense, but on the whole, his character is pretty consistent, and he has the ability to evolve/change (like being unable to be in a relationship with elena, but still being in her life [without being a lil bitch about it, like damon is within moments of their breakup], and still caring about all of her friends/the people that are only in his life because of her). i literally haven't seen paul wesley in anything else so i have no handle on his acting abilities outside of this show (although i think he does a great job on this show), but of course the performance adds a lot, but i mean, unless paul wesley is making script changes on set, lol, it's just kind of interesting how consistent the character has been written [most of the time] compared to other parts of the show.
**note: i'm only on season 5 and also outside of really the one vpd youtube video and princess weekes's excellent confederate vampires vid i really have zero idea what like, popular opinions about these characters are, lol, and i'm trying not to read anything until i'm done with the show
**edit: i'm halfway through season 6 and as soon as he was shown lying to ivy i regretted posting this but he had a good run, especially compared to most of the other characters on this show
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