#to find out who they like

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27

#they aren't even a chainsmoker or anything they just don't wear sunscreen are chronically dehydrated and have witnessed the Horrors #u know. like most of us #ideally we first meet them in a bar where they are guzzling from a tankard like a mysterious and dangerous stranger #later we find out it's not ale they're on a kombucha kick #they've been making it in their basement w/ the help of a college roommate who quit a biochemistry phd to become a beekeeper

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

#getou suguru #kaneki ken #abyss twin #i know there are others who im not thinking of rn #feel free to reblog with more examples #aphelion.txt #tropes #WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE #jaina proudmoore #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #phosphophyllite #i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc #I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories #despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc #like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty #edit: #also just know that i am reading every tag on this post #and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr #so i can check out their series later #edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers #the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me #wwx #how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[justaz]

country bumpkin merlin not knowing anything about city life and accidentally courting arthur without knowing

merlin, watching gwen give lancelot her favor: why do you do that

gwen, heart eyes at lance and not paying that much attention to the conversation: so he knows i’m rooting for him

merlin, with an Idea: ah.

gwaine, lover of chaos, pisser offer of nobles and royals alike, ultimate wingman: merlin…you have such lonely lips. shall i introduce them to mine?

merlin, unaware of the game gwaine is playing: so you can steal my breath away? i think not, scoundrel

arthur, crushing his goblet in his hand:

merlin: arthur’s been in a bad mood recently :( i should cheer him up

merlin, remembering when arthur was put out when merlin brought morgana flowers and not him: i know just the thing

merlin, bringing a bouquet of carnations, roses, and tulips and setting them on arthur’s table while he’s eating breakfast: good morning, sire

arthur, trained on flower language in hopes that one day when he was to take a queen he could woo her easily, trying not to audibly choke on his sausage as he reads merlin’s declaration of love sitting in front of him:

arthur, who recently found out about merlin’s magic and was trying to find a way to bring it up, catching him in the act and watching merlin panic to explain himself:

merlin, Freaking: and i swear to you arthur, i have only ever used it for you. my magic is yours. my life is yours. i am yours. i would never do anything to harm you. i have protected you for years and will continue to do so at your side if you’ll have me

arthur, already believing them to be courting, desperately trying to figure out if that was a proposal for marriage or not but tired of being confused and deciding fuck it: here.

merlin, taking it: i…uh…huh?

arthur, watching merlin with hawk eyes and trying to figure out what he’s thinking and feeling: it’s my mothers sigil

merlin, confused as FUCK but is focusing on the fact that arthur is handing him something of his mother rather than a death sentence: my…my lord?

arthur, realizing how scared merlin’s must be about him finding out about his magic and trying to comfort him while also proposing, killing two birds with one stone: i will always keep you at my side, merlin, so long as we both shall live. if you’ll allow me.

merlin, almost collapsing with relief and tearing up, smiling at arthur as if he had parted the storm clouds to allow sun to shine down on them in that moment: of course…of course, arthur. always and forever.

merlin, watching the castle staff rush this way and that: wow. this banquet must be incredibly important

sir leon the long suffering, day one ride or die, one of the original merthur shippers: banquet? merlin, this is for your wedding

merlin, overworked and exhausted: my WHAT? to WHO??

leon, regretting everything he’s ever done in his life that led him to this moment: to…arthur?

merlin, over joyed but also absolutely befuddled: i’m getting married to ARTHUR?????

leon: you two have been courting for the past year or so, have you not?

merlin: i’ve been COURTING ARTHUR?????? FOR A YEAR?????????

#merthur #i spent like an hour researching medieval courting rituals to make this #and even then #i did not find much #so if there’s someone out there who is like weirdly knowledgeable about 6th century courting rituals #feel free to add on #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #sir gwaine #sir leon #sir lancelot #guinevere #i literally started this post bc i was thinking about the misunderstanding between merlin and gwen and merlin’s giving arthur his favor #and then i kept going #but i didn’t have much else in the ole noggin to write #i’m sorry #please forgive me

[ghoulbats]

well….it finally happened

#rip rt #the good times were certainly good <3 #rt #roosterteeth #rooster teeth #honestly this is how i’m finding out it was officialy rooster teeth and not one word #if anyone doesn’t read the article but reads my tags (??) it looks like only the podcasts are carrying on for the time being #they’re shopping around rwby and shows like that and the roost which is the podcast side of things but otherwise #also apparently there’ll be a stream on the rt site tomorrow talking about it if anyone is interested #idk this sucks #be good to the people who were still there they deserve it #warner media on the other hand…..rot <3

[the-nefarious-vampire]

"you only say you're autistic because you want to feel special and different" actually finding out i was autistic made me feel significantly less special and different. before i was autistic i was Strange and Unpredictable in some sort of Unknowable way which Surely meant i was Predestined for Greatness (like storybook character). now im just some fuckin autistic guy like any other. i significantly prefer it this way btw

#this isnt about being a gifted kid btw this is about being different from everyone else #seeing that all the famous people you look up to were Also described as being different from everyone else #and going “ahah! i must be a main character of some sort! i cannot wait for my fascinating tale to unfold!” #“perhaps i will be the first contact which alien life makes with earth! perhaps i am secretly a shapeshifting cat!” #only to grow up & find out what autism is & go “oh im actually just like millions of other people who are not famous at all. yay!” #autism #autistic #actually autistic

[cruelsister-moved2]

for real! (from kadji amin)

[Image description: Screenshot of text:

What I've realized is that I believe that the matter of gender is practical and relational. It's not about who you are inside, it's more about how you would feel most comfortable in the world. It's not 'Who are you?' but 'How do you want to live?'

Had that been the discourse when I was coming up, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to figure out who I am on the inside, I just have to figure out how I want to live.

end of ID]

#and I kind of felt really sad when they were talking about how like they feel in some ways figuring yourself out is way harder now #bc there is this pressure to like figure out who u Really Are Inside #and instead of being like well maybe my identity goes far beyond gender and like i don't need to find some microlabel #in order to like define who is Me #it's become very fixated on like categorising ur gender rejection in a way that ends up just. making even more genders to constrain u #it's hard to summarise it was like v wordy but I thought this part was so true #for sexuality as well not to tack it on but we have really gotten into the same mindset w sexuality now as well #THANK U @VAKAVANHASAATANA for the ID it wont let me @ you in the text </33

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

#this is not how the interaction played out in the issue btw lol I'm just having a bit of fun #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #dc #the new titans issue 65 #inspi art #I remember being baffled when i read ALPOD and tim broke into dick’s apartment like it was nothing to find out where he’d gone #like where did he learn that? reddit? #I chalked it up to comicbook goofiness and wolfman stretching suspension of disbelief a little to keep the plot moving #which is why it surprised me when they acknowledged it again #and by doing so cemented tim knowing how to pick locks and being used to breaking into apartments as a canon fact(TM) #and so hence forth he would continued to be a little contradictory weirdo who’s both normal and incredibly not normal at the same time

[tenowls]

teacher getou au...... wauh

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #teacher getou au #satosugu #fanart #very funny how gojo leaves both yuuji and yuuta on their first mission hssdjshjdd #i know hes technically watching but. these kids do not know anything abt jujutsu at that point and theyre also KIDS. worst teacher HKSDKSD #anyway. been trying to look for fics but haven’t been able to find one i wanna read so i was like ok I’ll do it myself #however i am not a good writer so. DRAWINGS OF RANDOM LITTLE SCENES WILL HAVE TO DO #i want a plot focused fic w a side of shipping…. blease if anyone out there has any recs #as in like. the shipping written in a way that’s relevant to the plot #i want to see the rammies explored. yknowyknow #what happened differently in the aftermath of rikos death to make getou want to be a teacher instead #how is jjk0 different without him as the main antagonist and who does kenjaku take as a host #how does shibuya play out #how are both he and gojo different as characters #having grown up into adulthood together #getou as gojo’s moral compass etc #YKNOWYKNOW #i am aware that to explore all of that would be a monster of a fic which is probably why it does not exist (to my knowledge) but #IF THERES ANY FICS OUT THERE THAT EXPLORE EVEN SOME OF IT. PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY #EVEN A FUN LITTLE CASEFIC WHERE THEY GO ON A QUICK MISSION OR SMTH #AS LONG AS THERES PLOT #another theoretical fic i would like to read is canonverse post-shibuya but like with a plot that makes sense #jjk my favourite mediocre shounen battle manga. could be so much better. has anyone attempted this #that one post thats like im not a hater im a dismayer. thats me

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abby isn't scared of any FNAF animatronic..

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #abby schmidt #fnaf gregory #music man #mini music man #fnaf #fnaf movie #security breach #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Gregory was trying to be the cool guide for Abby #only to find out Abby doesn’t fear any animatronic #Abby gives off such ‘little girl who wants to adopt an opossum as a pet’ #if that makes any sense #so the little spider music men do not scare her BAHA #SCARES Gregory for sure and is shocked she’d just pick one up like that 😭 #these two are just lil goobies #just lil guys exploring the pizzaplex 🩵

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

[eatingsomegreeneggos]

My uh- My hand slipped 🌟

#fanart #my art #tadc #tadc fanart #pomni #tadc pomni #ragatha #tadc ragatha #femslash #buttonblossom #pomni x ragatha #lesbians #uhh I have nothing to explain myself with #I just had a vision based on only having seen the pilot and you what that's enough #yall know im out here shipping characters whove never seen each other and like whos stopping me #and even better every time i get a nice comment in the tags of people being excited finding fanart for their ships I grow a bit stronger #anyways theyre cute. love them #theyre so me actually #oh yeah also #the amazing digital circus

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents. #and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention. #kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust! #bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!! #this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally- #changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!! #anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance