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babyleostuff · 2 months

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PHOTOGRAPH | JEON WONWOO

based on "photograph" by Ed Sheeran

SYNOPSIS | Wonwoo knew dating as an idol would be almost impossible, yet he was ready to take the risk. Unfortunately, you were the definition of "right person, wrong time". PAIRING | idol!wonwoo x fem!reader GENRE | angst WORD COUNT| 2.8k

natalia's note | this is wonwoo's pov from this fic, though it can be read as a stand alone

Wonwoo never cared about relationships - he thought goodmorning texts were overrated, planning dates seemed too tiresome, and he didn’t see the appeal of letting someone else wear his hoodies and sweaters. Besides, he was too busy with work and it was hard to focus on anything else than the neverending schedules. He couldn’t remember the last time he got more than five hours of sleep.

At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

Dating in the industry was hell on earth, he knew that. Wonwoo had witnessed careers end and lifes get destroyed just because people fell in love. So, he made a promise to himself that that would never happen to him - he wouldn’t allow himself to fall for anyone, and spare himself the trouble of a broken heart and a ruined career. He didn’t care that he had no one to cuddle at night, no one to hug, no one to kiss, no one to call during tour.

And then you came, and changed his entire world. You became his everything, his little ray of sunshine - you were the first person he looked for in the crowd during their concerts, the first person he ran to on the backstage, the first person he called after they won an award. For the first time in his life he felt complete.

“I’m sorry. It wouldn’t have worked out either way.”

He didn't even want to imagine the look on your face when he said it. Through the fucking phone.

Wonwoo was on the verge of throwing up, but he knew that if he didn’t end it now, he’d never do it. He spent the last week crying before falling asleep from exhaustion in the night, and quickly wiping the tears that rolled down his cheeks during the day - he knew what he had to do, or both of your lives would get destroyed, and that’s something he’d never be able to live with.

“Wonwoo, can I talk to you?” He didn’t know what to expect when their manager approached him in the middle of their rehearsal, but he definitely didn’t expect to hear that he had to break up with you, or his work and your safety would be on the line.

Wonwoo pulled the phone back from his ear, and with a shaky finger pressed the red button.

That would be the last time he’d ever talk to you.

We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen still

Wonwoo didn’t bother with picking up his suitcase from the trunk, he knew Mingyu would pick it up for him. It generally seemed that he couldn’t be bothered with anything other than drinking himself into oblivion and crying until he passed out from exhaustion ever since he broke up with you. All of that just so he'd try to erase every possible memory he had of you together.

With heavy shoulders, and a headache, Wonwoo shut the door to his room behind him, enveloping himself in the darkness. Usually, you’d already be there, dressed in one of his hoodies, lying on his side of the bed because you fell asleep while waiting for him. He’d tuck you in, making sure you were warm and comfortable, before he’d take a quick shower and unpack some of his stuff, so he wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning.

The absence of you in his bed didn't hurt as much as what he saw on his bookshelves and desk, though - countless photos of you from trips, nights spent together in your apartment, photos from parties with the guys and their girlfriends, and pictures he took especially with you in mind.

His favourite one had to be the one from Japan, when you and the rest of the seventeen girlfriends flew out to Tokyo and surprised them after they won the daesang. You were all huddled on the floor of the hotel room, trying to fit in the picture, as all of you had your arms wrapped around each other, smiles on your faces. Wonwoo could practically hear your laughter, as DK almost knocked the table down, because Seungkwan pushed him to be sure he’d be in the frame.

“Move your ass, I want to be in the picture!” Seungwan yelled, digging his elbow into Seokmin's stomach.

“You are, you idiot. Can’t you see that half of your face is in the frame? Stop hitting me!” DK yelled back, pushing Seungwan in return.

Neither of you knew what was ahead of you at the time, and Wonwoo couldn’t stand the look of love in your eyes, he couldn’t stand the way he was shamelessly staring at you with nothing but adoration, like none of the other twenty people in the picture existed.

“Fuck!” Wonwoo yelled, slamming the photo against the floor, breaking the glass.

“Wonwoo, are you okay?” Mingyu knocked on his door a second later, making him wonder how long his friend had been standing there. “Just leave me alone,” Wonwoo said, his voice breaking, as the first tears started falling. He was surprised he was still able to cry, considering how much he was doing that for the past few days.

“Leave me… alone.”

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone

“I miss you.”

Wonwoo couldn’t see your face, but he knew you were pouting. He giggled to himself, and nuzzled his face further into the pillow like a lovesick teenager, smashing his glasses against his face in the process.

“I miss you too, baby,” he said, picking up his phone from the bed, as if it would make him feel any closer to you. “But I’ll be home in a week.” A week too long.

He could hear you sigh angrily, as you started your usual rant about why overseas schedules shouldn’t be longer than five days, giving him a recap of the list you have written down in your notes app. “You can laugh as much as you want, Jeon Wonwoo, but I’m suffering here.”

There was nothing else for him but to laugh at your sulking tone, he loved how you didn’t have any limits when it came to him and dissing his schedules. “Do you have the book I gave you before I left?” Wonwoo asked, and immediately heard some shuffling, as if you were getting up from the bed.

“Of course, but I’m not in the mood for reading,” you sighed. To be honest, you were rarely in the mood for reading - you preferred being read to. Specifically by Wonwoo. Definitely not because you were addicted to his deep and velvety voice, at least that's what you were telling him.

Wonwoo knew better.

“Go get it and open it,” Wonwoo said with a soft smile on his lips, laughing when he heard your annoyed groan.

He waited patiently for you to find the book and discover a photo booth picture you thought you had lost a while ago. You took it on one of your first dates, and Wonwoo knew how much you loved that photo, so he was over the moon when he found it laying under the bookshelf when he was cleaning your room.

“How? What? Wonwoo?” you gasped, and he couldn’t help but laugh at your surprised reaction.

“I found it some time ago, but forgot to tell you.”

He heard you sigh quietly, and from what he could judge it wasn’t a happy sigh. “Now I feel even more alone.”

“Baby,” Wonwoo murmured, his tone matching your sad one. “We only have a week left, you won’t even notice when I’ll be back.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

And if you hurt me That's okay, baby, only words bleed Inside these pages, you just hold me And I won't ever let you go

“You said you’d be home!”

This wasn’t how the evening was supposed to go, not at all. You had been planning this date for a while now - it wasn’t anything big, just a homemade dinner and a movie, but any moment spent together was special for you, so it didn’t really matter what you did. And what could be better than to prepare a nice meal together and then eat it cuddled under fluffy blankets, while watching a bad movie you could both make fun of.

If only Wonwoo’s practice didn’t run late.

“I’m sorry, but I told you my phone ran out of battery," he said, pointing at his dead phone helplessly. “And we really were busy, baby. You know how the comeback season is,” he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends.

“I know, but if you really cared about me you’d make sure to at least text me. I was waiting for four hours Wonwoo, it’s literally 1 am!” You said, your tone getting angrier and angrier.

Wonwoo understood why you were angry, he wasn't surprised, but he thought that maybe you would be a little more understanding. On the other hand, he knew how much you were looking forward to this date, he was waiting for it himself, and the fact that he didn't even text you certainly didn't make the situation better.

“Sweetheart, please,” he tried reaching for your hand, but the second his fingers touched yours you pulled away.

“You're a bad boyfriend Wonwoo, you ditched me like I was nothing.”

Your voice was full of venom and Wonwoo couldn't help the slight pain he felt in his chest. Your words when you were angry always hurt him like hell, but he didn't expect to hear something like that. He knew you didn't mean it, of course you didn't - you were angry, tired, hungry, and Wonwoo knew it was pointless to blame you for your words. He loved you too much to do it.

But before he could say anything, he felt your arms around his neck.

“I’m so sorry, Wonwoo. I didn’t mean it, I’m so stupid,” you mumbled into his neck. “I love you, I’m sorry,” you kept repeating.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he ran his hand over your arm, cradling the back of your head with the other. “We both messed up a bit, but it’s okay, baby.”

“I'm just afraid that one day I'll say something stupid enough to make you leave me,” you whispered, as if you were afraid that if you said it a little louder, your words would become true.

"Just hold me, baby, and I promise I'll never let you go."

Now Wonwoo would give anything to hear even the worst insults about him from you. He tilted the glass to his mouth, which turned out to be empty - just like the whiskey bottle he had taken from Mingyu, not that the younger minded. Or maybe he did, but Wonwoo didn't care much. He snorted and put the empty glass on the night table, from which he took a photo framed in a black frame instead.

Your faces were covered with a white face masks and your heads were adorned with pink cat headbands, and even though you were definitely too close to the camera, to the point where the photo was blurry and unclear, Wonwoo could still see your wide smile perfectly.

It was from the date Wonwoo surprised you with a few days after your failed one. It was one of the best nights of his life.

Oh, you can fit me Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen Next to your heartbeat where I should be Keep it deep within your soul

“You know my ex boyfriend got me this, right?” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him sceptically.

“Baby, you were sixteen then,” Wonwoo flicked your nose. "I will not be jealous of your great love at the age of sixteen."

You muttered something under your breath, frowning at him adorably. “If you want, I can buy you a new one,” he said, pointing to your necklace.

“No,” you muttered, not looking at him. Cute. "I like it."

"Exactly, so stop whining and let me put the picture in," he couldn't help but smile as he looked at the photo of himself in your necklace, resting right above your heart.

“You picked out the worst picture of me there is, I hate you,” you groaned, hitting your head against his chest.

“Well, I love it, and that’s what matters. Now,” Wonwoo grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles. "I’ll always be with you."

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me Under the lamppost back on Sixth street Hearing you whisper through the phone "Wait for me to come home"

Wonwoo looked around his bedroom with droopy eyes (was it from crying, alcohol or tiredness he didn't know), which less than three weeks ago was full of life - full of you.

The knowledge that he would never see you again weighed on him like a stone on his heart, but even so - Wonwoo didn’t want to forget you, no matter how much it hurt. He wasn't even sure he could even if he wanted to, you were present in every corner of this room - your pillow still smelled of your perfume, there were your skincare products on his desk, which you never kept in the bathroom for some reason, and your sweater was still lying on the back of the chair in the corner because you were too lazy to put it in the wardrobe.

Wonwoo grabbed his phone with a trembling hand, its screen lighting up and displaying a wallpaper with a photo of you that he took right before he left for the tour. You were in bed, your hair messy and dishevelled, your eyes still closed and your lips in a sweet pout - you didn't even know he took the photo, but Wonwoo couldn't help himself.

"Won, you said you'd wake me up," you mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow and duvet that covered almost your entire head.

“But you're not sleeping,” he said quietly with a smile, brushing strands of hair from your face.

You murmured something, pulling the covers over your head. Wonwoo couldn't help but laugh at your silly antics - he loved how clingy you got whenever he had to leave early in the mornings, you were like a cuddly teddy bear that wanted all the hugs in the world. “You know what I mean. I wanted to help you get ready to leave,” you complained from under the covers.

"I love you, baby, and I love it when you help me, but right now I'd much rather have you get some sleep."

“But I'm going to miss you,” you groaned, poking your head out from under the covers.

“It's only a week and a half,” he said and kissed your forehead gently.

Unconsciously, Wonwoo raised his fingers to his lips. Was that really your last kiss?

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, running a hand over his face. There was one more thing he had left of you - your voicemails. With a shaky finger he pressed on the last voicemail you sent him, a day before he broke up with you. The second he heard your voice it was like he magically sobered up - his mind was clear as day, and it immediately took him back in time to when the only thing he looked forward to was coming home to you.

"Hi baby, I know you’re sleeping already, but I just wanted to record a little message, so you have something nice to wake up to. These first few days apart are so hard, I really miss you, especially at night. I got so used to our little bedtime routine that the house feels so quiet and empty without you, like something is missing, you know? You’re going to call me a hypocrite, but you know what else I’m missing right now? The light from your computer when you game late at night and I can’t sleep because of it. Or how I have to beg for you to come to bed for at least two hours, before you finally do. (laugh). I really do miss your bed hair, though. Now with them being so long too, you look so cute. (laugh)."

"But you know, last night, and don’t make fun of me, but I had to put on your hoodie to sleep because I missed your smell, I thought about the first time you left for tour since we got together. I remember how you walked me home after our date because it was late, and you were so adorably awkward. You still are. Anyways, we stood under that lamppost right by my house, and we were talking for a bit, and I remember how sad I was that you had to leave. I know you were too but didn’t want to show it, my strong baby. And then you kissed me. (pause) I will always remember how you kissed me under that lamppost. And how you said “wait for me to come home”. "

"I’ll always wait for you, Wonwoo. No matter what."

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doorhine · 5 months

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Ok so I wanna talk about the guy we all know and hate, Abijah Fowler, because there are three scenes that do a fantastic job at characterizing him and speaking to the story’s themes.

*SPOILERS BELOW

The Chapel Scene: Fowler’s whole “prayer not prayer” is so interesting because he presents it as a business deal (which says a lot about how individualistic and apathetic he is). And honestly, that speaks really well to the use of christianity in imperialism, colonization and capitalism. If anyone here is familiar with Antoine Fuqua’s version of The Magnificent Seven (which is based on Seven Samurai), Bogue’s speech in the beginning of the film does a similar thing. In the case of Blue Eye Samurai, Fowler basically says, “we’re not friends but these people are ‘godless’ and if things go my way you’ll have a nation of souls to convert.” And I really liked that wording “a nation of souls” because it shows how imperialism and colonization, in the process of stealing other country’s natural resources, are, by design, meant to pose a threat to the entire culture and livelihood of the people that live there in order to do that. And a major way it’s done is through the spread enforcement of the colonizer’s religion over the ones of the people they invade. Which leads me to…

The Finale Monologue to the Shogun: because Fowler literally spells it out how the process of these systems, how white supremacy, is meant to twist and erase the culture and beliefs of those they invade to the point where they conform and assimilate to the invader’s culture and view them as superior. It also creates the idea of a white race in the first place that has its own ethnic and religious hierarchy that determines what the “best” kind of white is. I really liked the detail where he mentions spreading their shame because so much of white culture and its interpretation of christianity, whether or not it was the dominant form in its country of origin before being enforced on others, thrives on shame and enforcing that on other people (just look at the US). Lastly there’s…

The Famine Monologue: Something I really like about Fowler’s character is how he was written to be Irish rather than some posh English guy. It’s a nuance that adds a whole level of depth to his character and role in the story. Ireland was colonized by the English, which Fowler discusses when he mentions the Tudors. One of the ways that colonization was enforced was by replacing catholicism with protestantism. In this scene though, Fowler talks about the intentional famines that killed his parents and sister. It’s a graphic memory that shows how a victim of colonization will sometimes use the same tools used against them, to gain a sense of autonomy and control at the cost of other people’s livelihoods. This is compounded by the fact that Fowler is able to assimilate into the concept of a white race that was created to justify these systems and the oppression/exploitation of people of color that maintained them. Fowler is fictional but there were plenty of Irish people who took part in Britain’s colonization of other people one way or another. You’ll hear elements of Irish vernacular in places like Barbados for a reason to bring up a small example of the consequences of that. On a side note, this is also an interesting video on how the habitual “be” is used in both AAVE and Celtic languages.

Long story short, Abijah Fowler is a very nuanced and well written villain.

#blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai spoilers

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celaenaeiln · 1 month

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in like a one person gets one, who would dicks soulmate (platonic or not idk) be? i’ve asked this to several ppl and the answers are usually wally, donna, or jason though i’ve seen some ppl say slade, roy, and bruce.

Anon your ask has literally been haunting me at night. I thought I knew the answer but then you hit me with a Donna!! But between Bruce and Donna, I can't decide so I'll just present a case for both.

Bruce

Bruce and Dick are soulmates on a cosmological scale. The DC universe ordained them to always find each other because they're quite literally a fated pair.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Issue #23

Bruce: The only regret is that I'm out there alone. It felt good having someone at my back, being part of a team...but no sense wasting time wishing for something I'll never have.

Dick: He's cool, dad...d'you think we'll ever see him when we play Gotham?

The universe literally brings them together no matter the circumstances.

Convergence Issue #4

"The bond between you and Bruce Wayne echoes in every reality."

I don't think there's any stronger evidence for Dick and Bruce being soulmates than this.

But if that's still not enough I have more-

The Multiversity: Guidebook

In Bruce's world he lost Dick and in Dick's world he lost Bruce, but still in the end they somehow find each other. In every universe that has Batman, if someone is his partner it's always Dick.

In the medieval ages world-

Batman: Dark Knight of the Round Table Issue #1

The world of "A Christmas Carol" with Ebenezer Scrooge -

Batman: Noël

In a world where Bruce is a doctor at Arkham -

The Batman of Arkham

Dick is always there as his second.

Here's another interesting but depressing fact: In worlds where Dick Grayson has died as Robin, Bruce Wayne has never taken in another Robin.

This is because on top of the fact that Dick and Bruce as fated to meet, Dick means the entire world for Bruce. Like sometimes Bruce will come across a case with a child involved and the first thing he'll think about is Dick.

Batman: City of Madness Issue #2

Bruce's mind and life is literally consumed by Dick Grayson on a cosmologically spiritual level.

Donna

Donna is Dick's soulmate on a twin-sister spiritual level. Dick and Bruce are two halves of a whole, yin and yang. Dick and Donna though are one person. Their relationship is like taking paint and mixing it together to get something new. Like in those comics where two people look at each other and there's a "zing!" and suddenly it's an instant connection. That's them.

Titans (2016) Special 1

additionally:

Titans (2016) Special 1

New Titans (1988) Issue #89

Dick and Donna have no secrets. They're like a jigsaw puzzle, their pieces fall right into place.

He's always there for her-

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #38

They're so special and integral to each other that when an evil witch erases Donna from everyone's memories, there is only one focal point for her. One focal person for her throughout the years. Even though he doesn't remember her, Dick literally goes back in time with his future daughter Mar'i to help Donna, his soul-sister-

The Titans (1999) Issue #25

In every. single. moment of Donna's past Dick appears again and again to comfort her and be her pillar from Robin to civies to Nightwing. In the "Who is Donna Troy" Arc, as the story goes from the origins of Donna to the present, it becomes very clear that Dick is her centerpoint.

They're the definition of soulmates.

She knows him better than anyone else and he knows her. She even had him walk her Donna the aisle for her wedding. He was given that honor because of who they are to each other.

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #42

I...

just-

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #50

to love like that...

They're made for each other.

#dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #donna troy #wonder girl #troia #robin dick grayson #dc titans #titans as family #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!#koriandr #starfire

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steddiehyperfixation · 3 months

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don't you forget about me (part eight; final)

(part one)(part two)(part three)(part four)(part five)(part six)(part seven) (ao3 link)

It was an “if” if Eddie would actually be discharged today, but now, after some more poking and prodding, he's finally on his way home with prescriptions for pain meds and physical therapy.

Wayne helps him up the three creaky, beautifully familiar stairs into the trailer, and Eddie collapses onto the old, beautifully familiar couch the second he gets inside. The weary groan he lets out is only slightly over-dramatized. “I feel like an 80 year old man,” he complains, entire body sore and aching to the bone already. “Now I know how you feel.”

“Oi, I ain't that old,” Wayne protests. When Eddie snorts derisively, Wayne rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Alright, fine, so we both got creaky knees now. You, at least, will be young and spry again in no time, though,” his uncle tells him. “Just get some rest, old man.”

Eddie heaves a great big sigh, takes another breath to steel himself, and then does just the opposite of that.

“What did I just say?” Wayne mutters as Eddie moves to stand again.

“I said I’d call Steve,” Eddie says. Steve had to go to work, but he'd told Eddie that morning to call him if he ended up making it home today. “I’ll dip out of work and come hang out, help you settle in, if you want,” Steve had said.

Wayne offers, “I can call him for you.”

“No, no, I got it,” Eddie insists, words broken by a grunt as he hauls himself back to his feet. “I can make it to the phone, Wayne, I'm not a complete invalid.”

“Alright.” Wayne raises his hands in defeat and backs off. He’s never been one to hover. “You just shout if you need me.”

Eddie limps - slowly, painfully, with difficulty - to the phone on the wall by the tiny dining table they never use, the surface littered instead with unopened mail and haphazard papers scribbled with notes and reminders and important phone numbers. He leans heavily against the table as he paws through the piles trying to find a note of Steve's number. Eddie finds it buried deep, probably long since memorized by now before his memory got erased, but there it is: a notepad paper with Steve's name scrawled on it and two phone numbers written underneath, home and work.

“Bingo.” Eddie grabs the paper, takes the phone off the hook, and dials the work number.

The phone rings a couple times, and then: “Family Video. How can I help you?”

“Hey, Stevie.” Eddie smiles at the sound of his voice, as if he hadn't literally just heard it only a few hours ago.

“Eddie!” Steve's bored customer service voice brightens. “Are you home? How are you feeling?”

“Yeah, I’m home. I’m alright. I mean, I’m bone-fucking-tired and feel about a million years old, but it's really really good to be back,” Eddie says honestly. He adds, “I’m under strict orders to rest, though - gonna be bored out of my mind, so I could use the company if you were serious about ditching work for me.”

“Of course I was serious,” replies Steve. “It's a slow day today anyways.”

Eddie grins. “Get your sweet ass over here then.”

A smile is evident in Steve's voice too. “I'll be there in ten.”

Eddie hangs up, tries his best to wipe this stupid lovesick grin off his face. He stumbles his way down the hall to his room next, flicking on some music from the cassette player on his dresser and looking around. His room is just as beautifully familiar as the rest of the trailer, not much changed from the way he last remembers it. The same music and D&D shit clutter his surfaces, the same posters clutter his walls. His bed is unmade, clothes litter the floor, same as always.

The only differences: his beloved electric guitar no longer hangs on the wall by the mirror (he was told, devastatingly, that she hadn't survived her trip to the Upside Down), and there are photographs he doesn't recognize taped up around the corners of that mirror. Eddie staggers over to get a closer look, only to first be momentarily jumpscared by his own reflection. His face is pale, eyes sunken, and his hair frizzes out in a greasy, tangled mess around his head, unwashed and unbrushed for who knows how long. Gross, but whatever. He manages to ignore his sickly appearance and inspects the pictures he had apparently deemed important enough to stick to the edges of his mirror.

There are photos of Eddie smiling with Hellfire and his band and the kids, in large groups and small groups, with old friends he remembers and newer ones he doesn't quite. But what catches his attention the most is a photobooth strip of him and Steve. The first picture shows the two of them grinning, arms slung around each other’s shoulders; the second, a silly face photo, Eddie sticking out his tongue and Steve crossing his eyes; the third, Eddie giving Steve devil horns while Steve laughs; and the fourth-

Eddie plucks the strip off the mirror, stumbles, so taken aback he trips over his own lame feet until he plops down heavily onto his bed, and he stares. He stares at the last image in the row, which depicts - clear as day and undeniably real, immortalized in ink on photo paper - Steve kissing Eddie, tender hand on his cheek, both of them smiling against each other’s lips.

He stares and he stares and he stares. And the longer he stares the more he can almost feel it, taste it, see the events of that photo strip playing out in his mind’s eye like a waking dream. Like a memory.

Steve pulls up to the trailer, the one with the metal music blaring from somewhere inside that announces to the whole park that Eddie Munson is back home. He smiles at the sound, gets out of his car and bounds toward it.

It's Wayne who lets him in when Steve knocks on the door. “He's in his room,” the older man tells him as he steps aside to let Steve in. “Make sure he's stayin’ off his feet, will you? ‘Cause lord knows he won't listen to me.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Steve says, and his tone and his smile say I got him. Wayne nods.

Steve makes his way down the hall to Eddie’s room. He raps his knuckles against the door first, but he doubts that can even be heard over the music so he pushes it open without waiting for a response. “Hey, Ed-” Steve starts, only to falter when he sees Eddie sitting statue-still on the edge of his bed, eyes boring holes into a photo strip of the two of them together. “Oh.”

Eddie blinks, expression unreadable as he looks up and over at Steve. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I-” Steve doesn't know what to say, what he should say. His veins buzz with a nauseating mix of hope and anxiety and it's making him feel a bit sick. He takes a deep breath, turns down the music so he can think. “I wanted to. I just- I thought it would freak you out. You didn't know me. I didn't want to force anything on you.”

“So…we were together,” Eddie says slowly. “For how long?”

“Since July.” Steve’s desperately searching Eddie’s face for something, anything, to clue him in to what Eddie’s thinking or feeling right now. “Are- are you freaked out? Because you look a little freaked out.”

“I’m not freaked out,” Eddie says, and it's almost convincing. “I'm just…processing.”

“Oh-kay…” Steve breathes out, leaning cautiously against the doorframe, still hovering by the exit just in case Eddie decides he doesn't want him there anymore once he's finished processing.

“I’ve, uh-” Eddie looks back down at the photo strip he holds in his hands and takes a breath. “I’ve been remembering some things, you know, little things - in dreams - about us. But I- I thought I just had a crush or something, because I thought if all of that was real, if we had really been that happy - that…in love - then you would've said something. You would've told me.”

When Eddie's eyes meet his again, Steve realizes he'd misread his expression before. Eddie's not freaked, he's upset, hurt, not because of what he's learned but because it was kept from him. Of all the worst-case scenarios Steve's spiraling mind had come up with over the past couple weeks, he had not considered this one. So preoccupied with his own angst over being forgotten and fear of being unwanted, Steve hadn't thought to consider that him hiding the true nature of their past might make Eddie feel unwanted too. That's the last thing Steve wants; the ache of that trumps any other ache he feels.

“Eddie, I’m sorry. I just- you didn't know me, and I panicked; I didn't think, or-or I thought too much, but I should've just told you.” Steve pushes off from the doorway and goes to sit beside Eddie, because he can't stand Eddie looking at him with those big doe eyes and not being close to him. He leaves a bit of space, barely holds himself back from taking hold of Eddie's hand. “Because it was real, all the things you've been remembering. It was real- it is real, and I’m so sorry I didn't tell you.”

Eddie is uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. His gaze flicks him up and down and across his face, and then Eddie grabs him, hands dropping the photo strip to instead clutch at Steve's cheek and jaw as he pulls him in and kisses him. As their lips slide together, familiar, the both of them sigh into the kiss. Steve feels a bursting in his heart, so similar to the way it felt the very first time they’d done this: the giddiness of reciprocation, the intuition that this is right.

When Eddie pulls back after a few long moments, something is changed, something returned. Steve watches Eddie’s eyes flutter open; and when they do, for the first time since he'd woken up in that hospital bed, Eddie sees him, knows him, loves him.

“How could I ever have forgotten that?” Eddie says, almost whispered, running his thumb across Steve's cheekbone. “How could I ever have forgotten you?”

Steve could cry. Tears made of relief and joy blur his vision, because Eddie is looking at him with all the tenderness he'd been missing these past weeks, the painful emptiness of before now filled. It's all back. His Eddie is back. Steve pitches forward and hugs him bodily. Eddie returns the embrace; Steve sinks into his arms and it feels like coming home.

He closes his misty eyes, buries his face in the crook of Eddie's neck and the tangles of his hair, and he breathes him in, clinging onto him like Eddie might just disappear if Steve ever let go. Eddie holds him just as close, one arm wrapped firm around Steve's waist while his other hand cradles the back of Steve's head and strokes his hair. Steve soaks in every touch, feels every place where they are pressed against each other, so warm and safe and loving after so long without it. He is whole again in the arms of the man he loves.

“I missed you,” Steve mutters, lips brushing against the skin of Eddie's neck as he speaks, muffled.

“I know, Stevie,” Eddie murmurs, “my Stevie, I’m so sorry.”

“S’okay. It wasn't your fault,” Steve mumbles, and he thinks maybe they both need to stop apologizing for this.

Eddie must think the same, because he says, “And it wasn't yours either,” like he knows every twisted, guilty thought that's been haunting Steve lately and he absolves him of them. He tugs gently at Steve’s hair to get him to lift his head and look him in the eyes. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve says quietly. Eddie reaches up to brush from his cheek a tear Steve didn't even know had fallen, and as he wipes it away he wipes away everything - all blame, all fear, all pain. Eddie had forgotten him, and it sucked, but now he remembers again, and none of that matters anymore. Steve hangs onto Eddie's wrist. “Just-” His voice rasps with emotion, making it rougher. “Don't you ever forget about me again.”

It's not a promise that can be made with any certainty - anything can happen at any time, just as unexpectedly as it had this time - but Steve doesn't need certainty, he just needs to hear the words, and Eddie gives that to him. “I won't, darling,” he vows, with gentle reassurance. “Never again.”

“Good,” Steve sighs, turning his head into Eddie's hand to press a kiss to the palm.

The last of his heavier emotions drain out of him then and now he can feel the joy of Eddie's return in its whole entirety. As he rolls his face out of Eddie's hand and settles his eyes on the beautiful boy in front of him, a grin begins to spread across Steve's face; Eddie's smile grows in tandem with his, like he's smiling just because Steve is. Steve says, giddy in full now, “You're back.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, lovely and bright, ducking to bump his forehead against Steve's. “I'm back.”

Steve lets go of Eddie's wrist to tangle a hand in his hair, and he tilts his head up to kiss him again, just because he can, because he's making up for lost time. They draw each other in close once more, lips and bodies moving against each other, easy and natural. Steve could stay right here like this forever, never wants to stop holding him or stop kissing him.

But a thought - a question - tickles at the base of Steve's skull, and when he does pull back he asks, hopeless romantic that he is, “Just in case - I mean, just so I know - what was it that brought your memory back? Was it like a…true love’s kiss breaking the spell sort of thing?”

Eddie laughs, gives Steve another quick peck like he always does when Steve says something endearing. “Not quite, Prince Charming,” he responds with a grin so fond Steve thinks his heart might burst. “It was more like…the things I had remembered were just dreams to me, shallow and unreal, but kissing you was like an anchor, a reminder that allowed those dreams to sink in as proper memories and become real.”

“So…basically it was true love’s kiss,” Steve says cheekily, just to hear Eddie’s laugh again, just to receive another affectionate press of Eddie's lips against his.

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie concedes, smilingly, never one not to indulge whimsy, “we can call it that.” But then he amends, with a little less levity, “It wasn't exactly a magic cure-all, though. It didn't bring everything back, there are still gaps in my memory.” He looks at Steve with eyes like pools of melted chocolate, soft and endless. “But I remember that I love you; I remember that much.”

And Steve tells him, “That's enough," and he pulls him in for another true love's kiss.

THE END. taglist: @romanticdestruction @daydreamsandcrashingwaves @paintsplatteredandimperfect @hallucinatedjosten @mugloversonly @estrellami-1 @alongcomesaspider @thatonebadideapanda @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @dragonmama76 @wxrmland @nuggies4life @sirsnacksalot @myguiltyartpleasure @lolawonsstuff @marklee-blackmore @vinteraltus @sebastiansstanswhore @0happyeverafter0 @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @emsgoodthinkin @alyelf @warlordess @stevesbipanic @lil-gremlin-things @rockandrolodex @badcaseofcasey @bat-outta-hel @fandomcartographer @manda-panda-monium @littlewildflowerkitten @giopandaonice @mightbeasleep @queenie-ofthe-void @krazyperson @worldofshea @marvel-ous-m @tartarusknight @a-little-unsteddie @xenon-demon @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxsky-shockxx @mc-i-r @bookbinderbitch @aspenshade88 @slowandsteddie @thedragonsaunt @daydreaming-mood @space-invading-pigeon @irregular-child @a-lovely-craziness (continued in replies)

#and that's all folks!#endings are so hard for me but i hope you guys like this one #huge huge thank you to everyone who's followed along; all the love and support on this has been insane and i am so grateful <3 #steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #fanfic #mine #dyfamsteddiefic

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 6 months

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Halloween prompts year 2 day 23

Au where Danny hides his powers and eldrich nature from his husband Tim and Tim hides his vigilante career from Danny.

Both are very successful and neither suspects a thing. Tim had originally planned to admit to being a hero at some point but they were always either interrupted or it just wasn't the right time and then Danny had mentioned a few times during thier engagement and marriage that he couldn't handle being with a superhero or vigilante and that it was a deal breaker. Unfortunately Tim was already deeply in love and couldn't bare to break up with him so now he lives in fear of Danny finding out and blackmailed the rest of the family into never letting it slip.

Danny is in a similar situation, ever since the portal incident people were afraid of his other half and no matter how hard he tried they always ended up hating him. He loved Tim and couldn't bare the thought of his husband having that same look of terror. Of hate. So he hid. Its all he could do. Back when he and his friends went on that road trip and gained the power of the reality gauntlet he had tried to undo his undeath entirely only to find out Danny had glitches spacetime enough that even if he undid it (which the gauntlet was incapable of doing) he would eventually wind up with the portal opening up on top of him at another date. Call it fate or destiny or whatever you like. He was stuck like this.

So he did the next best thing. He erased any proof he had ever existed. Even from the minds of his own friends. He then skipped town-or in this case universes- and used the gauntlets power to carve out a false identity in this new world full of heroes and hope

Luckly there was no one who could rat him out...until some blond guy in a trenchcoat started following him around the grocery store and talking to him. At first Danny was a little confused and annoyed but when he asked what the blond guy wanted he asked, "I wanna know what you are." And Danny went pale.

Constantine then proceeded to blackmail Danny into helping him with a case or else he would expose his dirty little secret to Tim.

Danny made the a deal, ensuring that it would only be this one time. He told Tim that he was being blackmailed but insinuated that it was something petty between him and some of the other high society house spouses. The kind of drama that Tim always made extra sure to steer clear of. He swore to Tim he was this close to spiking Bethanys muffins with a laxative in retaliation for something and Tim gave helper suggestions for how to do it without being caught while they got ready for the day.

Ever since Alfred passed away it was up to Danny and a few other people to keep the Waynes from falling apart. Honestly, no one realized how much that man did until he wasn't around anymore.

To be fair he pretty much spoiled Tim by picking up after him to the point the man can't function after a few days. If Danny ever had to leave Tim alone for prolonged periods of time he would return to a giant mess and something burning in the kitchen.

Danny would clean, Tim would spew a fountains worth of apologizes, he would forgive Tim (as if he was ever mad in the first place. This just reaffirmed that Tim needed him to protect and care for him, making his core vibrate in happiness) then they would...reacquaint themselves. He nearly shifted forms the first few times this happened. That would be one heck of a way for Tim to find out about his ghost half.

Danny smiled, thinking about those memories. He truly adored Tim and couldn't imagine a life without him. He would just have to make sure this trench coated guy never came anywhere near his precious husband.

John would really like to know what this entity was and what it wanted with the Wayne brat. It couldn't really be in love with the kid, could it? He had personally seen these relationships work out before but there many more he had seen that hadn't. He didn't want to take that risk, so he needed to get close enough to evaluate the situation himelf.

#halloween prompts #dpxdc #prompts #danny fenton #danny phantom #fanfiction prompts #tim drake #brain dead #dead tired #red robin #yum #red robin dc #danny phantom x red robin #married brain dead #married dead tired #does Constantine know that the wayne are the bats in this? you decide #Constantine may have flirted with Danny at some point but danny shut that down fast. He was a monster but not a cheater.#Danny refuses to betray Tim

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1800jjbarnes · 3 months

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𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐲 | 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬

【Synopsis】: After disappointing your totally not possessive boyfriend. You try your hardest to get forgiveness out of him.

[W.C] : 1.4k

-> Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff.

Paring: Daddy!Bucky x Fem!Reader

[Warnings] : Food mentioned, slightly DDLG vibes. Food play. Whipped cream. Making out. Hickeys. Swearing. Dirty talking. Possessive Bucky. Slightly mean Bucky.

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You were a good girl. You promised. So when the fifth night of being ignored came around you wanted, no, you needed to put actions in your own hands. So you did what you do best. Dress to impress. Finding your favourite dress, pretty, pink, and white. It was a dress that Bucky got tailored just for you. It's one of a kind. And it was one of your prized possessions. It was the first gift he gave you when you first met. It holds so many memories for both of you. So you needed it for your plan. To gain Bucky’s forgiveness, of course.

Pacing around the room, you waited for Buck to come home. He left a note saying he would be out late for work, making your anxiousness grow. He knew you hated when he didn’t talk to you. You missed his voice, the soft charm that rolls off his tongue. You even missed the sadistic nature that slipped off his tongue. God, he made you crave him so badly that you felt like you were going mad. But with the sound of the locked front door unlocking, your heart skipped. You sat on the floor on the soft white fluffy carpet that lays on the edge of your bed. You watched the door like a hawk, knowing he needed to come in there first to undress. The door opened slowly since he spent the last minute looking for you he became slightly uneasy, but as soon as his eye met yours, the anxiety was completely erased by the feeling of lust and curiosity.

“Hello, Daddy.” The name nearly made his legs buckle, all his sinful thoughts going straight to his head. He kept his expression the same, though, not letting you have the satisfaction of knowing he was wrapped around your finger. He was obsessed with you. He craved you the same, if not more, as you. His obsession ran deep as it was the root of most of his outbursts of anger.

He doesn't mean to become so angry at you but the idea of someone else touching you, having their way with you. Call him possessive. Heck, call him crazy for wanting to lock you up so you do not dare see the light of day. He wanted you all to himself.

"What do we have here, babygirl?" He chuckled.

"I.. I wanted to show you I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad. I truly didn't know what was going on. I..I'm sorry." He let you ramble out your apology. He found it amusing. His hand grazed your chin, making you stop immediately. You haven't felt his touch in a while, so it sent shock waves through you. His thumb running over your cheek softly, lovingly before a half-pull made you whimper. He yanked your face up with his fingers digging into your jaw uncomfortably.

"It's okay, my pretty little doll. You are just too stupid when filthy men try to take what's mine. Come, let's go have something to eat." And just like that, he let go of you entirely. He had just admitted it wasn't your fault but yet... You felt like you were still in trouble. Looking at your feet, you followed Bucky close behind him, heading to the kitchen. He helped you onto the counter, letting your legs dangle over the edge.

"What we doing?" You were curious about Buck’s sudden change in demeanour. He was so cold and angry, and now he seems unreadable like he is showing one emotion to hide his true emotion underneath.

"We are going to have a little fun. Since I've been neglecting you for so long." You wanted to believe his words, but something in the pit of your gut said his words are only the surface of his actions. You nodded to him, giving him a small 'okay'. His next move makes you gulp, seeing the can of whipped cream in his hands.

"Are you a good girl?" He steps in between your legs.

"Yes..." You whimper.

"Will do you anything I ask for?" His fingers reach for the zipper on the back of your dress.

"Yes..."

"Even if it might hurt. Even if it might cause harm to you or I?" He slips the flimsy material off your shoulders slowly. His fingertips graze your soft skin.

"Yes, James. I would die for you. Anything you wish for is yours."

It was like your words made his brain short-circuit. You were willing to die for him? He has never had someone so close to him in the way you were. No one close enough were their life actually matter. God, you couldn't have become more perfect at this moment.

Your dress falls off your top half, showing off the white lace that clung to your breasts. Bucky’s eyes graze over your body, his left hand gripping your thigh while the other shakes the can tightly. He could never get over how beautiful you are. How delicious you look. All for him. And no one else.

He places the nozzle of the can against your collarbone, spraying some of the white fluffy cream onto your hot flesh. It was freezing, given it was in the fridge. The sensation brought a shiver and a low moan for you. His tongue wasted no time in licking up the sweet treat, leaving a nice bright red mark after he was done.

God, he could do this for hours. Never bored of the sounds you make. But as more clothing fell and skin became more sticky from the cream. Your hands gripped Bucky’s bare shoulders.

"hmmm Daddy..." You wiggled on the counter, feeling yourself becoming hot and bothered over the teasing. He chuckled, picking your hand up to grasp it around the can.

"Your turn, Princess." His voice was low with a hint of desperation. You looked at the can in your hand with hooded eyes. He had now just given you the power, so what will you do with it? You shook the can and sprayed some of the whipped cream on his neck, some of it sliding down over his nipple. You licked it up while sucking harshly on his neck. Your tongue fell down to his nipple to clean the rest off, but then an idea sparked from the pitched moan Bucky made.

You've never heard such a sound come out of Buck before. Heck, you didn't even know that he had such sensitive nipples. Oh, this would be fun. Spray some directly onto his nipples. You sucked them hard, making your lover almost whimper.

"F-uckk. Doll... god." He gripped your hair, yanking you off his nipples, trying his hardest to catch his breath. As if, if he didn't pull you off, he would have come in his pants then and there, and that wasn't something Bucky wanted. He needed to come in you or nothing.

"You are such a good baby. Such a good girl." He pants between his words. "Now I need to fuck you." His words made you moan, pulling him in for a kiss. The first kiss you've shared in a while, you've become so desperate for his touch you think you might go crazy. And he could tell, thinking it's quite amusing how whipped you've become for him.

"You want that baby? Want me so deep inside you that you feel me for days?" He lifts you up off the counter, walking you over to the couch, cause he opted the bedroom was too far away.

"Daddy, please, please, Fuck me..." You rambled through the sloppy kiss, feeling your back hit the soft cushions. He climbed on top of you, wrapping one hand around your waist, while the other grips your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. Even though he was mean and can be cold and cruel, he loved you so much that words couldn't even begin to explain it. He needed you like how he needed air to breathe.

"For you my dearest Baby girl...Anything."

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himehomu · 6 months

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With Walpurgisnacht Rising coming in 2024, I want to talk about something that has been bothering me since Rebellion. It was never the “plot twist” of Homura separating Madoka from her godhood nor her taking those godlike powers for herself thus becoming the devil. It was always people's reactions to Homura doing this and the way they based her entire character around this specific moment that really rubbed me the wrong way. Saying she's a selfish monster who's trapping Madoka in a fake world for her own personal gain or that she's taking Madoka's agency away from her and making decisions for her that directly rebel against what Madoka wants... And, to that, I just want to know.... do literally any of you know what Madoka actually wants or are you just basing her character around her sacrifice?

Yes, it was for the benefit of all Magical Girls and yes it freed them from their cycle of selling their souls in the name of hope just to die at the hands of their own grief and despair, but Madoka didn't plan to abruptly cease to exist at the cost of it?? She didn't want to be stuck between life and death only existing as a deity meant to eradicate Witches for all of time. Madoka wished to erase Witches before they are born from the past, present, and future. Going back years upon years in time, destroying Witches and mercy killing Magical Girls; fighting forever, past and future, for all time. Ceasing to exist as an individual, only able to materialize and interact with someone when they're dying of grief and sadness and pain; relieving them of that pain so that their last moments won't be in agony, so they can die in peace, but there's none of that for Madoka. There's no death, no closure, no release, no freedom from this hell of being a weapon and nothing more.

But, Madoka would never voice these struggles and frustrations. Because Madoka isn't that kind of girl. She's the kind of girl who shoves all of her problems down and bases all of her self worth on how much she can do for others, how happy she can make others, and how useful she can be. She forces a smile and masks her pain because she doesn't want to burden anyone with her problems. She puts herself down constantly, risking her life trying to help others because she cares so little for herself. Without being useful, she believes her life has no value. And Homura knows this. Because Homura knows her. I feel like most people take Madoka's bright pink colors and smile at face value and don't realize she's chronically depressed. That's why in the first timeline, she and Homura naturally got along so well: they were both girls who hated themselves and based their self worth on how they made others around them feel, both self-loathing girls who deem themselves worthless if they're not useful in some way. Madoka was just better at hiding it than Homura was. And she still is by the 100th loop.

But, in Rebellion, when her memories of being a god are taken away from her, and she's given a hypothetical scenario of her fate, she says "wow that sounds awful and scary and lonely and I would never do something like that." The Flower Field scene is one of the most brilliant and misunderstood scenes in all of anime. Majority still to this day argue that, since Madoka doesn't have her memories, her words hold little to no weight, and Homura is simply hearing what she wants to hear. So, naturally, they disregard what Madoka is saying, assuming it's just Homura being selfish. And that's where they mess up. Because, the fact that Madoka doesn't have her memories here is the whole point! Homura is already well-aware that if Madoka had her memories, her self loathing would result in her caring so little for herself that she sacrifices herself every time which is why immediately after Madoka's words, she assures Madoka that she is indeed "strong enough to make that decision." Homura just wanted to confirm if Madoka would still miss her life pre-godhood in spite of that, which she outright says she does.

There are also arguments that Homura was somehow influencing Madoka in the labyrinth aside from just not remembering becoming a god, but Shinbou already stated in an interview that this wasn't the case, and that these were Madoka's honest words. In fact, Madoka's true feelings regarding her godhood are revealed for the first time within the lyrics of Madoka's character song (sung by her VA Aoi Yuuki) that played as the ep 1-2 ED titled “Mata Ashita”. The song is about Madoka post-series which consists of Madoka wandering around aimlessly, quietly observing as humanity resumes without her, lamenting on the life she lost after becoming a god and wishing she could have been more honest about her feelings to Homura in ep 12, asking her to realize she's lonely.

[I'm pretending that I'm used to being alone, but I'm not really that strong.

The scenery is the same as always, the city is the same as always.

Even though I think everything will stay unchanged.

I still feel like I'm the only one who's tiny. Instead of "See you later."

I should've said, "I'll stay for a little longer."

I wanted and hoped that you would realize it.

But with the words "See you later,"

I lie to myself again.

And hide my true feelings beneath my usual smile. Saying, "See you later," I wave my hand.

Cracking a smile, yet I'm feeling lonely.

The truth is, I still have more to talk about.

But even my voice saying, "See you later"

is so near yet far from you that it can't reach you.

So let me say this like I always do, just once more: "See you tomorrow"]

This is definitive proof that even BEFORE Rebellion, this was already confirmed to be Madoka's true feelings.

The second time Madoka's true feelings post-godhood are adressed is via Madoka and Homura's concept movie quotes explaining that the God (Madoka) is clearly suffering in her “heaven”, which is more like a prison of isolation. The lizard girl (Homura) takes pity on her and separates her humanity from her godhood, thus making her human once more. Here are also some direct quotes from Magia Record which provides even more context for what Madokami is experiencing:

All of this, with the addition of Madoka's words in the Flower Field scene being confirmed to be her real and honest feelings, puts the whole “pulling madokami down from heaven” scene into a different perspective. Considering the entire reason why Madoka even became powerful enough to become God in the first place was because Homura's 100+ time loops linked multiple parallel universes together with Madoka at their center, and it's confirmed Madoka was suffering as a god, I would think people would be happy to see Homura reverting Madoka back to a human being and rewriting the entire universe to be a world where Madoka is happy and free, surrounded by her friends and family???

The fact that Homura's love for Madoka was so strong throughout 12 years of 100+ time loops, it turned Madoka into a goddess but when Homura was able to see just how isolating and lonely godhood was for her, she took her godlike powers for herself because she loved her and was willing to take on the exhaustion and isolation of immortality as the devil to spare her of anymore pain and sadness. Homura freed Madoka from a nonexistential purgatory prison and a decade later she's still demonized for it, how insane is that??

#pmmm #pmmm rebellion #pmmm walpurgisnacht rising #pmmm walpurgisnacht no kaiten #puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #madoka magica rebellion #madomagi #mahou shoujo madoka magica #madoka kamane #homura akemi #madoka x homura #homura x madoka #madokami #homucifer #akuma homura #ultimate madoka #i dont want to see not ONE “oh but she still shouldn't have done it because it's not her decision to make it's madoka's” argument #what the fuck is madoka meant to do?? she is literally stuck.#“b-but what about all the other magical girls??” what about madoka. it seems like homura is the only person to consider madoka's feelings #and yet ppl villainized her for it. called her a perverted freak who was trapping madoka in a cage like how fucking dare you #for an entire decade homura has been demonized for loving madoka when the entirety of madoka magica is homura's love letter to her #homura did nothing wrong gang this is for you and for me #homura did nothing wrong #and i stand by that idfc #court is adjourned #madohomu #cw long post #not tagging this as an analysis bc this is all material straight from the source and it doesn't get more canon than that

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homewrecking-lore · 11 months

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The thing about the fandom’s interpretation of Data and Pulaski is that it makes both characters extremely flat and boring while also erasing their whole relationship. Data’s made into this flawless, naive baby that can’t defend himself (when he does - when Pulaski mispronounces his name, he tells her exactly why she should pronounce it correctly), while Pulaski is an ugly bitch-hag who is morally reprehensible. Most fanfics portray Data as being uncomfortable or scared of her, while Pulaski’s chomping at the bit to break him into parts. Their whole relationship in season two is based around the fact they both have flaws, and that Data is still learning about what exactly he is capable of as an android.

In “Elementary, My Dear Data”, the big question of the episode is if Data can solve a narrative mystery without it being based on his knowledge of the original stories. Geordi doesn’t know the answer. Pulaski doesn’t. Data doesn’t. From what they know of Data, Pulaski outright dismisses the possibility that Data can, which sparks the episode’s plot.

So when Geordi goes back later and prompts the computer to alter the program to be more challenging, both Data and Pulaski are excited! They want to see where this goes! They are openly having fun with this.

In her first episode, Pulaski dismissed Data when he tried to stay during Troi’s labour, and only relented when Troi said she wanted him there. But by “Penpals”, she assures Sarjenka that Data will be at her side the whole time. When Data expresses doubts, she assures him that this is what’s best for Sarjenka, but that his memories of her will still be important. This is also the same episode where Pulaski defends both her and Data’s personal involvement in the situation to Worf.

In “Measure of A Man”, the game opens with some of the crew playing a poker game. Data and Pulaski are obviously friendly and comfortable enough to socialize together outside of professional circumstances. And again, the scene shows Data calling the game simplistic and assuming he will win, but he turns out to be wrong.

Later in “Peak Performance”, Pulaski sets up Data to compete in Strategema, only for him to end up losing, to everyone’s surprise. The reason why Data’s confidence falls is because he had the exact same assumption about his computational abilities as Pulaski. They were both wrong! When she sees how much losing has affected him, she apologizes:

Data says that he must be malfunctioning. It’s not until Picard tells him that failure can happen even when you do everything right that Data accepts he can make mistakes - and that making mistakes is okay! By the end of the episode, they both know that Data is not infallible, and that he can be affected by failure as much as any human.

Pulaski makes assumptions and mistakes, and so does Data. They learn and grow from them, and their relationship is overall a very positive one despite their very different personalities. It’s an interesting dynamic that gets rewritten by fans entirely, despite the fact that it’s weirdly one of the more developed dynamics in the show.

#tng #st tng #data soong #data tng #katherine pulaski #star trek next generation #i promise this is my last rant post about data and pulaski #tng fans: i wish the crew had more developed and complex dynamics :(#also tng fans: no not like that #anyway my point is data and pulaski were pretty rounded characters in this season #and their relationship is really interesting!#and i dont think its a coincidence that a big chunk of data's growth drops after season 2 #which sucks because its interesting to see him learn about what being an android means!#him and geordi and pulaski on the holodeck was so fun #anyway in this house we love and respect pulaski in both data related and not-data-related matters

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cobragardens · 7 months

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The 3 Falls of Anthony J Crowley

So far, Crowley has told three different stories to three different audiences about why he Fell, and there's some important information that can be inferred from them. Let's get nerdy.

(Nb. C. 25% of this is from a previous post I made about Crowley's memory problems.)

Here's Crowley's 1st story (gifs courtesy of Fuck Yeah Good Omens), in 1867:

In Book Omens this line is narration about Crowley, and means that Crowley didn't embrace evil and side with Hell so much as he just wasn't into the whole Heaven shindig.

In Show Omens, this phrase becomes a little more fraught, because Crowley says it about himself, and he says it to Aziraphale.

Aziraphale has just disagreed with Crowley's assertion that the two of them have a lot in common. Az thinks Crowley means their origins as angels, and demurs, "I don't know. We may have both started off as angels, but you are fallen."

But what Crowley means, as we find out in pretty much every other scene the two of them share in S1 and S2, is that that he and Aziraphale have a lot in common now, in their current positions. He wants Aziraphale to see him as a friend--and to be his friend--so he elides the difference his Fallenness makes to Aziraphale, all "Ehhh, it wasn't really a fall kind of Fall, it wasn't that bad."

Also, given the conversation they have in the Final Fifteen, I feel like his phrasing is kind of important here, because falling is not voluntary, but sauntering is. In saying this Crowley is claiming that to some degree he chose to reject Heaven.

It's entirely possible that Crowley may have been lying to Aziraphale in 1867--he is, as he says, a demon, and he's lied to him before to make something bad seem less bad--but maybe not. Remember what the Metatron says about Crowley:

And this is another interesting point: The Metatron knew Crowley as an angel. The Metatron. The being who, after shepherding Aziraphale out of the bookshop, turned back and looked at Crowley with hate.

(And tense music playing, in case you weren't sure.)

So maybe that's it. Maybe Crowley just chose to be on his own side.

But in 2019, and addressing God, Crowley's story of his Fall is slightly different:

I think we can take this as Crowley's sincere belief. It's unlikely that he would lie when speaking to God, because that is Aziraphale's job because he doesn't have any reason to do so: God hasn't been listening to Crowley for 6,000 years at this point, and if She were listening, lying would not work. So Crowley probably believes he's telling the truth here with this story: Crowley believes one reason he Fell is that he asked questions.

But is he right?

Another line from the Metatron:

The Metatron seems to speak of Crowley's habit of asking questions as though he finds it obnoxious rather than damning, so maybe the questions weren't the problem. Then again we know that the Metatron is a lying piece of shit and an authoritarian who doesn't want his regime questioned, willing to erase memories and destroy lives to cover up the 'institutional problem' that Heaven doesn't know what the Plan is and is run by a handful of warmongers who want everyone dead or indentured.

Either way, this is the third time in the series someone has talked about the problem of Crowley asking questions, so my guess is his questions were probably a salient feature of his Fall.

Onward!

Before we look at the 3rd story, remember that we have strong evidence now that Crowley has had his memories erased by Heaven.

But we also know Furfur, another demon, still has his memories. Inference: Heaven don't erase the memories of every angel who Falls. This suggests that Heaven erased Crowley's memories because he had knowledge in those memories Heaven didn't want him to have anymore.

This may not be specific knowledge. We know Crowley has a high security clearance in Heaven and therefore must have been a high-ranking angel, and we know he created a nebula with Saraqael, so presumably there was a lot of stuff in his head Heaven wanted stripped out.

But I think there was something specific, and here's why. Firstly, there's no reason to assume that importance in Heaven is a guarantee of importance in Hell. Furfur could have been a high-ranking angel too before ending up an admin in Hell. (Hell does not seem to be any more of a meritocracy than Heaven does.)

Secondly, it's clear that Crowley doesn't know his memories have been erased. If he knew, then when Furfur says "We were in the same Legion? Just before the Fall? Doing dubious battle on the Plains of Heaven? Remember?" he'd say something like "Don't be stupid, of course I don't remember, Heaven erased my memories."

Instead he says,

Now, maybe Crowley is just being a dick here. Certainly we're supposed to take it that way until he goes up to Heaven with Muriel and doesn't remember Saraqael either.

But what if he's being truthful? If Crowley is being honest (and a dick), that would mean the Fash didn't erase all of Crowley's memories of his time in Heaven. We know this because Furfur says he and Crowley fought together "on the Plains of Heaven," and "just before the Fall" [emphasis added].

This suggests that Maybe Heaven didn't erase time from Crowley's memory. Maybe they erased people.

Okay, now here's Crowley's 3rd story about how he Fell:

It's a cute line, but what if it's not just a throwaway joke referencing what people say about kids who go down the wrong path and become criminals?

Crowley mutters this 3rd story to himself, so we can be confident Crowley believes this to be true. But Crowley doesn't know who the wrong people are. He doesn't know whose company got him thrown out of Heaven, because his memories of all those people have been taken from him.

And taken together, these three stories and Crowley's stolen memories suggest a bigger, more disturbing inference: Crowley doesn't know why he Fell. (Or sauntered vaguely downwards.)

Like Crowley, Job was once a favorite of God. But he has fallen out of that favor and been delivered to demons for reasons God refuses to tell him.

We the audience are meant to draw a parallel between Job and Crowley. We know this not just because of the speech Crowley cathartically gives Job's goats, in which everything he says to the goats can be just as easily applied to Job or himself, but from two other indications. Here's one:

Job is wearing Crowley's color.

The other is the minisode title, "A Companion to Owls." This phrase comes from the Book of Job, specifically Job 30:29. Job, lamenting what has happened to him, says,

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls.

In Biblical symbolism, dragon=serpent=snake=demon. And in some Mesopotamian beliefs--one of them Judaism--owls were associated with demons as well:

and

So the Job of the Bible is saying in this verse the same thing the Job of Good Omens says: God has forsaken me and delivered me to demons. Or even: God has forsaken me and I am now being treated like demons are treated.

And he's also saying something else. In the Bible, owls symbolize loneliness, desolation, and solitude. They're consistently depicted as living in barren, abandoned, isolated places. Seriously. Go search owl(s) in a Biblical concordance and read all 30 entries: it comes up a lot. If you're a companion to owls, you're alone (except for the owls) in the wilderness. You're forsaken.

WHOMST do we know whose signal color is yellow, who's a brother of demons, and who admits at the end of the episode that being alone and forsaken in the wilderness is lonely?

So. Job, a character whose claim to fame is that God punished him and he didn't know why, is a mirror character to Crowley. This on its own isn't enough to say definitely that Crowley doesn't know why he Fell, but combined with the three different stories he tells about his Fall, I think there's enough textual evidence to conclude that Crowley isn't entirely sure why he fell; he only has educated guesses. Either he knew and the memory was erased, or he was never told at all.

My question about Crowley's Fall is this: Who pushed him?

Was Crowley's Fall an act of God Herself, or was it an act of Heaven? What did the fucking Metatron have to do with it? What was Crowley's crime? When Aziraphale takes charge of Heaven and the Second Coming, will he read Crowley's file?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #the metatron #good omens analysis #crowley's fall #3 falls of crowley

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reverie-verse · 6 months

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Forbidden Attachments- Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Prompt:The reader was in love with Anakin, takes places after ATOC and the beginning of the CW and when Anakin has a padawan. You left the Jedi order because you thought Anakin was in love with Padme. You were in love with Anakin. You take off and live on another planet. Anakin, Ahoska, Obi Wan and Rex make a pit stop on your planet without even realizing it…

This is angst and fluff, I didn’t grammar check it per usual 😭 I gotta stop doing that. Ummmmm I was gonna write a part two that included smut, but then I thought it was too long. Soooo let me know in the comments if I should or not! Thanks, hope you enjoy!🫶🏽

My REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!

——————————————

The day you left the order was the hardest decision you’ve ever made. It wasn’t because of false accusations or because you believed that the sith could help you achieve goals the Jedi couldn’t. No it was one specific rule, one specific code. Attachments are Forbidden. Love was forbidden and you were in love with Anakin, your best friend. It wasn't his fault, you couldn’t really blame him for it, not when there was a rule set for the Jedi. However it didn’t stop the pain that ripped through your chest and into your heart and mind. There was no easy way to handle it, the love that you craved only to realize he’s never cared for you the way you hoped.

It was a memory you wished you could forget. The day you watched Padme grasp Anakin’s arm, pulling him into her room, late into the night. The way he looked at her, as if she was the only girl in the galaxy. She looked up at him with a sweet smile, warm and welcoming, he let her guide him to her bedroom. It was an accident really how you stumbled upon them, you had just finished your nightly routine of patrol. Of course the entire time your mind was lingering on Anakin, but when you stepped into that hallway everything changed. You left swiftly with no hesitation, your mind bursting in chaos, your feet carried you to your room. Your hands getting ready to pack your bags. You felt a thousand emotions, you felt betrayed, you thought maybe you were wrong. You wished you could go back and erase it all. You loved him and your heart hurt realizing that it could never be. You knew leaving the order was stupid, there were more pressing issues than your stupid emotions. But you had already dedicated most of your life to the cause. You were selfish with your emotions. You chose to leave anyway….

You figured no one would come looking for you, that you could get away so easily, and by the time they figured you were gone it would be too late. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You knew the schedule of all the guards and both Anakin and Obi Wan’s. You knew by now that Anakin was still with Padme, he had the evening and night off. Obi Wan had retired to bed, but you knew he would be in the process of mediating. You slipped past the guards going through the back hallway, your movement quiet. You knew that you couldn’t take any of Naboo’s ships or your own which meant that you needed to travel into the outskirts. You found a speeder taking off into the city, traveling as far and as fast as you could go. You weren’t worried about anything other than getting off of this planet and away from Coruscant. Everything else will come later.

By morning Anakin had emerged from his bedroom, he was lucky he made it back in time before you or Obi Wan could notice he wasn’t in his room. His mind wandered back to Padme. The way she caressed his skin, touched him, the way he touched her, the way he kissed her…As he walked down the hallway towards the meeting area, Obi Wan was talking to a Nabooian guard, Captain Typho. Anakin squinted his eyes following Obi Wan’s hand, and in his hand was your distinguished sleek black hilt of a lightsaber and your Padawan braid. Obi Wan shook his head before turning away from Captain Typho. His eyes landed on Anakin’s, he sighed as he walks over to him, a heavy sadness echoed around him.

“ Master, what's wrong? Where is Y/N?”

“Anakin, Y/N never returned from her patrol last night. The ruminants left are her padawan braid and lightsaber. I am sorry” Obi Wan patted his shoulder, Anakin shook his head.

“ No then we must find out who took her!”

“ My young padawan, I’m afraid that’s not the case. It seems she’s left the Jedi order”

“She can’t leave, we still have our trials to finish, she can’t-“

“ But she has”

“ You’re wrong, she wouldn’t do that.” Anakin shakes his head, Padme who had been informed of the situation had walked over to offer her condolences.

“ Anakin, she made her choice, whatever reason it might’ve been, it was enough for her to doubt our practices. I am truly sorry, she was not just my padawan but my friend too” Obi Wan sighed again before turning away from his own padawan. Obi Wan could guess why you left, it was the same reason that he felt for Satine if she ever asked him to leave. Obi Wan was not blinded but he opted to remain out of personal affairs. Attachments always bring pain and heartbreak, it’s a hard lesson to learn when you’ve already crossed the threshold.

“Why would she leave, she would’ve told me if she planned to leave! We need to bring her back!” Anakin was in disbelief that you would just leave without so much of a goodbye. This wasn’t like you, to hide secrets from him, to hide your feelings from one another. The two of you were always good about that, and for you to just leave as if your friendship meant nothing. Padme placed a hand on Anakin’s arm, gently caressing it. Anakin subconsciously leaned into her touch hoping it might ease his pain that he felt, that ached in his chest and heart It only brought him momentarily relief. The rest of the duration of the mission, he focused on his trials, if you were there you would’ve made sure he passed. Anakin carried your lightsaber and padawan braid with him. As a reminder of you, but when the pain became too much he went right back to Padme…

———-

It’s been a year and a half since you’ve left the order, you found yourself a home on Aurea in the city of Shakamm Crater. Aurea is known for many trades and skills, it was a planet of opportunity. Though the planet was mostly known for its glasswork. You however were lucky enough to work as an artisan providing basic needs on droid or ship maintenance. You wanted the least exposing job that you could do and matched whatever skills you’ve learned in the temple. With much ease the planet you picked was filled with millions of people, which brought a comfort to you, to know that you would never be found.

It was night fall by now, you had gotten home maybe an hour or two ago, a small humble two story abode that was yours. Your home has an open floor plan, you were lucky to live on the edge of the city, you got to overlook the area and the outskirts. The climate based on the tropics, the vibrant colors of the sea, land and sky ease your aching heart. You wore a tank top and shorts to cool your body down, a gentle breeze swept past your light curtain. You walked over pushing the cotton material to the side, you sat down on the window seat. You leaned your elbow onto the windowsill resting your chin in your hand. The moon's light streaming through your bedroom. You shut your eyes staying in the present moment fighting off your memories of the life you once lived.

—

A brief image of you sitting near a window flashes through Anakin’s mind. He places a hand on his forehead, his eyes shutting just for a moment or two. Rex turned to look at his General

“ Sir are you alright?”

“ Yeah I’m just fine Rex” He grumbled. This has been a recurrence since you’d left the order, day and night you were on his mind. The visions or memories were often unprovoked. They happened during meditation sessions, randomly when he’s calm and relaxed. Even when he slept his dreams were only of you. Anakin wasn’t sure why it was like this, you’ve been gone for so long, yet you’re everywhere. His mind tormented him everyday and not a single person could help him ease his pain. Not his padawan, his old Master, not even Padme.

“ Wherever we are, I hope this place has a repair shop and a fuel station.” Ahsoka says as the transport ship rocks aggressively.

“ We are near the planet Aurea, let’s land in Shakamm Crater, they should have a station nearby” Obi Wan says as he checks the scanners.

“ Great” Anakin replies as he pressed a few buttons on the control Panel, Ahsoka and Obi Wan do the same. Anakin nods his head towards Rex. Rex began to slow down the ship as it passed through its orbit and then through its atmosphere. The sun’s burning glow hit the planet signaling that it was daylight.

“There’s a station up ahead” Anakin points out as he helps Rex fly the ship closer, landing it on a dock. There lied an assortment of ships, workers and droids, sparks floated in the air, sounds of mechanical noise sounded off in various directions. Workers shouted at each other from opposite sides of the station. Once the ship was landed, Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan and Anakin exited the ship looking for a worker to speak to. Obi Wan and Anakin both decided that this was their task. To be honest the task was rather easy, a worker walked up to them wiping off the grease from their hands.

“ We need new power sources, at least a new wing engine, we need fuel” Anakin lists off.

“Uh that’s gonna take at least a week or two to fix, what did you do get attacked by pirates or something?” The worker tells him and his partner.

“ Never mind that, We will pay you handsomely to fix it in a few days” Obi Wan offers.

“ What do you got in mind” The worker and Obi Wan continued their conversation, Anakin however drifted off, his eyes wandering the surrounding area, scanning for anything suspicious or unusual. Though that wasn’t exactly entirely true, he felt something, something specific, something familiar. Anakin wasn’t certain, but he could’ve sworn he thought he felt a familiar presence. Anakin searches through the force anyways, he wanted to make sure what he thought he felt was a lie. So he presses further his force hoping from person to person until he felt it again. This time it was more like a tug, a pull, something was drawing him in. His eyes followed that invisible line, leading to the very thing he dreamt of. It was as if time seemed to have slowed down incredibly, Anakin sucked in a breath, his chest tightening.

There you were burning bright as a thousand suns, the energy in which the force depicted you as. Anakin was captivated by your beauty. Your hair placed in a style that kept it from falling in your face, you had worn a uniform jumpsuit that the sleeves were tied around your waist, exposing your tank top. You had grease and dirt smeared on your hands, arms, and a little on your neck and forehead. Even with that you were still gorgeous. You were concentrating on your work. You sat down with one leg folded and the other leg dangling off the wing of the ship. You took apart one area of the top of the wing for another ship a few paces away. A worker had walked over shouting something at you. Your once serious expression turns into a smile, your lips form words before your unmistakable laughter leaves them. Your friend nodded as they threw their hands up in a dramatic gesture. They must’ve shouted something back at you causing you to shake your head and mouth something back. They had waved goodbye to you before walking away. You shook your head hoping off the wing. You reached for your backpack, looking up as you did so. What you hadn’t expected was there to be eyes already on you.

Anakin inhaled a sharp breath as your eyes connected, an unforgettable bond between the two of you snapping into place. The force grows tugging on each end for the both of you to meet in the middle. Your breathing picks up, your heart lurches forward breaking into the last few surviving pieces you had left. You didn’t want to admit that after all this time you still loved him. That he still looked as handsome as the day you first met. You realized that he no longer had a padawan braid meaning he passed the trials. He had a gloved hand, and his hair grew a few inches longer since the last time you had seen him. A scar cut from the top of his eyebrow to his cheek, his blue eyes peering into your soul. You had heard stories about him, and as he stood before you his reputation preceded him. He was intense as he had always been, but the boyish energy stayed, you could see it behind his eyes. always seemed to find a way to peer into your soul…You cut off your thoughts noticing that Anakin took a step forward, you took a step back, with so much distance between you two, you weren’t going to risk anything. The trust you had once was gone, the love you still felt you shoved back into a box.

Your eyes quickly scanned the people around him, Obi Wan and Ahsoka inch closer calling out his name, but his eyes stayed trained on you. Obi Wan mouths something to him but he doesn’t listen and says nothing. Obi Wan's gaze follows Anakin’s, his eyes landing on yours, he mouths your name. The slow motion of the world comes to a halt, reality bending back into its original form, you break out into a run. Anakin shouts to stay with the ship to Obi Wan and Ahsoka. Somewhere in between he shouts your name “ Y/N?!” You ignore him as you book it across the station for the exit. You pushed through people slamming into them by accident shouting out a sorry every now and then. You tried to dodge and weave, breaking out a zig zag pattern hoping to lose them. You had seen a speeder sitting on the side of the road, not caring who it belonged to, you threw your stuff in the back, climbing in the driver's seat. Once you started it, you took off, Anakin barely making it outside enough to see you disappear. Anakin’s eyes searched for another speeder to get into and he does. Anakin was relentless, he refused to let you go, not this time.

As you reached your home you clumsily parked the speeder rushing to get inside. You needed to leave here immediately, there were three Jedi and only you. Of course the council would send them to find you. You left without saying a word, you left during a mission. Maybe they would put you on trial or exile you or even send you to prison for disappearing. Foolish thoughts but very realistic possibilities, you had no idea what the Jedi were capable of. All you knew was that you didn’t want to go back. You stormed through your home running to grab your go bag that you had already packed in case of emergencies. Your heart had completely fallen apart, you loved this planet, you loved the people you’ve become friends with. You loved the work you did, and the home you lived in. What you hated was how easy it was for it to be taken from you within an instant. Your feet bounded down the stairs, you didn’t have time to take one final look at your home. You barely got to the front door, before it opened. Anakin stepped through the door, forcing you to take steps back.

You put distance between the two of you. Anakin seemed to follow you anyways. You took another step back as he took another step forward. He was silent, his jaw tense and set, his eyebrows scrunched together. He should feel shocked and surprised and excited to see you, but that all disappeared when you ran away, again. Now he was hurt and angry. He tried to corner you but you were smarter than that, you made sure there was space all around you. Anakin fought the urge to smirk even with his anger, a slight tint of playfulness etched through him. Almost as if he had drifted back in time to the many training sessions the two of you shared. You knew each other like the back of your hands.

“ Why did you run?” He asks you. At first it was meant in the sense of the earlier situation but really deep down he asked why you ran away without a second thought.

“ What do you mean why did I run? You brought two other Jedi to the planet I call home! You can’t expect me not to run!” You retorted.

“ No, you know exactly what I’m asking you! You were once a Jedi, the temple was your home!”

“ It was once my home…but I was never a Jedi.” You could feel the sad aching feeling in your chest. You fought back whatever emotions you had harbored for your old life.

“You’re wrong, you were always meant to be a Jedi. We talked for hours about what our life would be like. When we had finished our trials. To be Jedi knights, to become masters. We were supposed to do this together.“

“ Anakin, those were false pretenses, false dreams that weren’t meant to come true..”

“ Why are you saying this?”

“ Because it’s the truth”

“ it’s not the truth and you know it”

“But it is Anakin”

“ You’re wrong, why did you really leave?”

“ I can’t…”

“You can’t?”

“ No”

“ Why?! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“ Just let it go!”

“ No, I just I need to know”

“ Anakin” You shook your head as tears filled your eyes. You tried to make yourself look like the bad guy, as if you weren’t meant for the life of a Jedi. Really you avoided speaking about the love you held for him, in fear that he may still every well be with Padme. In fear that maybe he might feel the same for you. In fear that even when this is all said and done you’d end up alone, either in a cell or in your own home. You fought hard, to keep the tears at bay, your walls were slipping, you were exhausted, your past finally catching up to you.

Anakin could sense the war within yourself, he was breaking through to you, but even as out of practice you were, your mind created a barrier around itself, keeping your thoughts hidden. Anakin wanted to reach out, to caress your skin, to pull you into his arms, watching you hold back your own tears was heart wrenching. He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek. Your eyebrows scrunched in anger as you wiped the silent tear away with your hand. You crossed your arms around yourself turning away from him. Anakin takes a gentle step towards you. What had gotten you so crushed and defeated that you had to run away.

“ Tell me,” He whispers, pleading for an answer.

Your eyebrows twist as you place a hand over your mouth, you are on the brink of a melt down. Everything is settling around you, the reality of the conversation weighing heavier by the second. The forces of presence surround the both of you, enhancing each other's emotions and senses. Anakin takes another step, placing a hand on your shoulder. Your body tenses, for a moment you felt it all, the comfort you found within one another. The friendship you both built together, the love and warmth, the support, all of it. Only for a moment did you fully remember who your best friend was, only for a moment you remember who you used to be. The tears flowed with out warning, you adjusted yourself so you could stepped out of his grasp, his touch burned. But your heart betrayed you, it yearned for the touch that meant to soothe you.

“ Y/N” he whispers to you, calling your name out more ways than one.

“ I saw you with Padme” You whispered, turning to look him in the eyes.

“ What”

“ You both looked so in love-” You smiled sadly as the tears slid down your cheeks staining them.

“ How did you-“

“ I was on patrol that night. I didn’t mean to walk down the hallway, but I wanted the extra time to myself…I was torn between being a Jedi and being in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Then there the two of you were, and the decision was clear. I couldn’t have both, I couldn’t be a Jedi and be in love. I couldn’t be in love and be a jedi. I couldn’t talk to anyone, and if I did I would’ve been expelled or worse…So I left as quickly as I could” You sighed, whipped your cheeks, you shook your head as you looked at the floor. You could see the confusion flash on Anakin’s face. Anakin must admit it was a little bit easier to understand being in love, but now Anakin couldn’t grasp in his mind that you would be interested in anyone.

“ Who was it”

“ Who was what?” You sniffled your tears slowing down.

“ Who were you in love with?”

“ It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t love me” You shrug, offering him another sorrowful smile.

“How do you know?”

“ Because I already told you I saw him with someone.”

“ You-you love me?” He takes a step towards you. Disbelief ripped through his chest, there was no way that you could be in love with him-You saw him with Padme, he caused you pain. Here you were crying your beautiful heart out, your tears filled with the unprofessed love trapped within you. You held onto it for so long choosing to remain silent. Anakin, blinded by the Angel he’d seen on Tatooine, forgot his best friend’s existence. You were there for as long as Anakin could remember. You gave him advice, you went along with his stupid yet ridiculously complicated plans that always seemed to work out in the end. You faced obstacles together, you were his support, and all that time you had fallen in love with him, while he became infatuated with the thought of an older woman, distracting himself from the possibilities of being with you. He failed to realize that you yourself were the guardian Angel sent to him not Padme. He was just blind by his own ambitions to see it.

You sighed as you caught on to the way Anakin internally blamed himself. You knew he was going over every thought, every moment, over analyzing where he went wrong. Yet here you were again, soothing his pain as you had as always done. “ It’s not your fault, I told you-it was my choice, my path-you had nothing to do with it-“

“ I told you it wasn’t just your decision.” It was different now, the year and a half you were gone gave him enough time to understand the reality of the situation. He took you for granted and he hated that. He knew deep down that he had always loved you. He just needed you to leave him to understand it. He took your face into his hands caressing your cheeks, his forehead leaning down to touch yours. There was a pull in the force that went unnoticed by the both of you, there was a magnetic pull, as if two puzzle pieces shifted into place.

He shakes his head, shutting his own eyes, the warmth of your skin against his flesh had driven him insane. The electricity that followed between the two of you was undeniable. What he had with Padme was nothing compared to what he felt right in this moment. He instead crashes his lips onto yours, the kiss becoming intensely passionate. At the same time the force finally found itself joining together binding itself to one another. Almost as if the two finally had molded into one. The once friendship bonding into a love that is bound together not just by them but through the force as if they were truly meant to be…The need for air pushed to the back of Anakin’s mind. Forget it he didn’t need it even if his lungs screamed at him. All he wanted was you to be around you. You however wanted to relish in the kiss but you couldn’t for too long, your mind wandered to Padme and how wrong this situation was. You pulled away in fact needing some air to breathe anyways, Anakin’s lips chasing yours.

“ Wait- wait -wait” You say breathlessly.

“ No, I can’t wait anymore” Anakin chases your lips again but you place your hands on his chest pushing him away, moving out of his hold. You take a few steps back.

“ We can’t ”

“Why not?”

“ Because you’re a Jedi and you’re in love with Padme.”

“ I’m not with her anymore, I broke it off with her when I realized there was nothing between her and I. I didn’t love her the way I love you”

You shook your head placing a hand on your forehead. “Ani..” you sighed again. His heart and chest burst with joy, he hadn’t heard that nickname in a long time, he wanted to hear you say it again.

“No, I lost you once and I don’t intend on losing you again. I can’t see myself living without you, if I did I’d be in agony all the time as I once was. Being a Jedi has nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Forbidden or not you’re the one I want to be with.“ Anakin whispers to you as he takes a step towards you. You crossed your arms over your body, watching his every step, holding your own breath.

“ You’d be willing to keep us a secret?” You asked

“ Yes if it means I get to be with you”

“ You know they’ll check the logs on your fighter to see where you’ve been-“

“Y/N, You’re not changing my mind” Anakin pries your arms from your body using it as leverage to pull you closer. You somewhat hesitate but he pulled you anyway. You had to internally admit it felt good to be in his arms, and the way your body began to relax gave that away. Anakin smirks as he looks down at you, your eyes wandering around his frame, your hands finding a place to rest themselves, your hands glide over his arms and shoulders before resting them around his neck. You felt comfortable there. Anakin rested his own arms around your hips and waist, his large hand moving to the small of your back to push you impossibly closer. Anakin leaned downward towards your neck and shoulders pulling you in a tight embrace. He inhaled your scent, and hummed as he exhaled. You were his comfort place, you were his home, he could finally breathe, his own body melting into yours. You carted your fingers through his golden hair.

“ You win” You huffed, Anakin chuckled and squished you even tighter, he just needed to hold you for a little longer. Anakin finally pulled away looking at you, another need flowed through him and somewhere else. He took your hand guiding you to your bedroom. “ Ani I stink, I think we should wait-“

“ I already told you I can’t wait”

“ What if Obi Wan finds my home and you in it, then what?”

“ We’ll be quick. I promise.”

“ Maybe I don’t want it to be quick”

“ So then I’ll take it slow”

“ Ani you can’t”

“ Y/N, I can”

“ Cant”

“ Can”

“ Cant”

“ I can too!”

“ No you cant”

“ You don’t know what I’m capable of” He retorts.

“ Oh please” You rolled your eyes. “You’re not even scary”

“ Wanna bet?” The banter between the two of you felt welcoming and genuine. It seems you’d missed more than just the teasing. Anakin pulls you into your room not giving you a chance to reply, he guides you towards your bed. You let him, his gaze becomes darker, you shake your head answering his question from earlier. For a moment you were going to give in, but then you shoved your hand into Anakin’s face pushing him away playfully.

“Nope, see not scary” You smiled, your moment interrupted by a knock downstairs. Anakin pleaded with you silently to stay. You smirked walking away, but not before he smacked your ass. You turned and glared at him to which he held a flirtatious smile of his own. The two of you had some explaining to do, with Obi Wan, Ahsoka and Rex waiting outside. Once you opened the door with Anakin directly behind you, you were welcomed with warm smiles, ones you hadn’t seen in a while. This was a dream, for you, you welcomed everyone into your home. You looked at Anakin one last time as he reached for your hand pulling you into him as the two of you walked towards the others. Who cares what the Jedi say, love is love, forbidden attachments are stupid as one might say. Right now everyone in that room doesn’t seem to mind, they all held genuine grins on their faces.

“ Master, won’t you introduce us?” Ahsoka asks.

“ Master?” Your eyebrows raise humor behind your eyes and smile.

“ What? I’m a master” He says smugly, you burst into laughter Obi Wan shaking his head at his once former padawans.

“ Y/N” Obi Wan warns. Ahsoka and Rex find the moment endearing, Anakin had met his match and they were here for it.

“ What, Okay you’re right I’m sorry” You waved your hand dismissing your behavior, clearing your throat. Anakin pinched your arm, to which you slapped away. Rex couldn’t contain his own laughter, and then the introduction, and recapping began. You offered your home and tea for the group, everyone could relax for a few hours. Sometimes we go through trials and tribulations to find tranquility…You guess you could say that you both found that today.

#anakin skywalker x you #anakin fluff #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin x you #anakin x fem reader #anakin x reader #anakin fanfiction #Anakin skywalker x reader angst #x poc reader #fanfic readers #x reader #angst #fluff #star wars x reader #starwars imagines #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker fanfiction

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eamour · 8 months

Text

method﹕revision

definition

to revise means to reconsider something in order to correct or improve it. in a manifestation related sense, it means to erase and change the outcome of events in your life that have already taken place. all in all, revising is a way to manifest. a way not to create but to recreate.

all things revision

time does not exist in terms of past, present or future since they only exist in your mind. what you declare to be your past, in fact, is just what you are able to recall. your memory is just a state of consciousness that you have defined as your "past". we can only ever experience now and what we are conscious of in this given moment.

when we speak of "revising an event" or "changing the past", it's not our focus to change what has already happened — well, it is, but rather than focusing on changing the event, we focus on changing ourselves. just like neville goddard said, no one to change but self.

let's say you are dissatisfied with an event from the past. see, whenever you remember it, and express that you don't like it, you relive it in your mind, resurrecting that state. the moment you recall those past memories, you once again become aware of it — and as long as you remain in that same state and keep the memory as it is, it will and can not be altered.

it is very much up to you what you decide to keep within your consciousness and which experiences you choose to carry with you. your memories, your past experiences, ... they are all just in your mind. they only represent your imagination. your present assumptions therefore have very much influence on who you are now and who you "have been", aka the way you choose to remember yourself right now.

revision in steps

1 ⋮ choose. what does the old story look like? and what does your new story look like? become clear about both, the unfavourable and the favourable.

2 ⋮ change. declare that the old story no longer serves you, that it no longer depicts the "truth" and embody the version of you that identifies with the new story. replace your old assumptions regarding your past and redirect them to your liking. do not just assume but really accept that your past experiences happened just accordingly to your new, desired story.

3 ⋮ persist. now that you have rewritten your story to your liking, you need to be consistent with it. you have re-assumed a new reality — a new state of awareness for yourself — so, persist in it! you can now experience it in consciousness whenever and wherever you want.

don't forget

✿ the same way you deal with the 3D when manifesting other things into your life, you entirely dismiss your outer reality. whatever is being reflected back to you, you don't give it any attention. disregard it and reassure yourself by keeping in mind that creation is finished. leave the physical world as it is and only pay attention to your mental world, your imagination.

✿ when you are persisting, you are continuously living in your imagination. you persist in anything at all times as you experience both, 3D and 4D at the same time. you don't repeatedly live in your imagination — as in, you don't exit and enter it, over and over again — but do it perpetually. and as things have no reality other than in consciousness, your 4D has no choice but to create your 3D. the same way your 3D has no choice but to mirror your mental activity, showing you evidence of your accepted assumptions.

✿ in other words, persist and your reality will end up conforming to your liking!

with love, ella.

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avocadorablepirate · 28 days

Text

What Do We Call This? - 01

mini masterlist || next

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Summary: On a quest to find what you've been looking for, you acquire the help of the Straw Hat pirates, who've agreed to let you temporarily join them. There are however many challenges that come along with your temporary recruitment - an alliance with a certain Trafalgar Law being one of them.

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn, swearing. OP spoilers (especially in this chapter). Probably shouldn't read if you haven't watched/read the Punk Hazard Arc.

A/N: 16 year old me is rolling in her grave, ready to resurrect from the dead, unalive me, and take my place because both she and I cannot believe that we are back here writing fics about a fictional man. We also cannot believe that our writing style has not changed one bit. It's honestly quite disappointing.

Anyway, this chapter kinda sucks (proof read, but for sure there are mistakes somewhere there), and the others probably will too (all I've written after this is my favourite part, the rest is up to fate and my willpower to continue writing). But, if it comes to it we can always just erase all of this, and act like none of this ever happened.

Why is it called 'What Do We Call This?" you ask? Because I honestly don't know what the fuck to call this.

—⁠☆✿☆—⁠

She found herself being welcomed onto the pirate ship, despite the fact that just a few days ago she was after their lives. It was truly a strange turn of events that had unfurled in the blink of an eye.

"If that's where you want to go then we'll take you! If I'm going to be Pirate King I'll have to visit every island anyway!" The captain had said without a second thought when she had asked them whether she could tag along for a short while.

To put it briefly she had met the crew at Fishman Island, initially with the intent to get rid of them. However, after certain explanations about memories that she did not want to dive into for the 2nd time that week, and some forgiveness on the part of the pirates, she was now onboard the Thousand Sunny, on her way to the new world, fulfilling her initial goals.

——————————————————————————

The Straw Hats ship had docked at Punk Hazard on getting a call from someone on their Den Den Mushi. Luffy having picked it up without any hesitation had decided that he was going to help whoever it was.

A lot had happened since then. You had been captured along with Nami, Sanji, Chopper and Franky, and had found yourselves in a metal chamber along with the head of a samurai who was somehow still alive, despite lacking an entire lower body. Franky and Sanji had managed to break open the cell, allowing for your escape, but as all of you looked for a way out you ran into some children in what looked like a nursery. You had then escaped with the children, who had begged you to take them with you, but on exiting from the front you ran into a pirate named Trafalgar Law and the Marines. The group's interaction with the two was short, quickly choosing to find another exit.

Law, you thought to yourself as you kept running. You had heard the name before but couldn't quite remember when. You were however pulled out of your thoughts when from the corner of your eye you saw a thin blue orb surround the four Straw Hat pirates. You watched in shock as the hearts of the pirates were switched.

What had just happened?

You took a quick glance at the people behind you, had this been the work of the Marines or the pirate Trafalgar Law?

What you found was the pirate, frozen in place, staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. He had been caught off guard perhaps, not realising that there was someone else with the Straw Hats. But, he was quick to snap out of it, turning away and focusing his attention on the Marines at hand. You too turned back around, a small smile on your face despite the situation. You remembered now, where you had heard the name. What were the chances that you would finally meet him after all these years, you thought to yourself as you lightly touched the strap of your hood.

——————————————————————————

Everyone was now hiding out in a cave behind the research facility you had been trapped in, the situation having completely changed.

You had reunited with the rest of the Straw Hats and Trafalgar Law had also joined the group with the intention of forming an alliance with the Straw Hats.You couldn't help but laugh to yourself when Luffy had readily accepted, thinking back to when he had gladly welcomed you onto his ship, despite the few protests from the rest of the crew.

Your laughing caught the attention of the captain of the Heart Pirates, and you were quick to regain your composure, giving him a quick smile as he eyed you. His attention then turned back to Luffy, but his hand pointed at you, "Who's that?"

Luffy looked from Law to you and back, his smile stretching from ear to ear, "Oh! This is (Y/N). She was trying to kill us," he says, his smile not letting up while Usopp and Nami yell at him for the introduction while you, Robin and Franky laugh, Chopper too stunned to speak. Usopp then explains to him that you've temporarily joined them, not going into further details.

Trafalgar Law was obviously not expecting that for a response, almost in complete shock that someone could be dumb enough to welcome an assassin onto their ship. However, he didn't address it, there were other things that needed to be dealt with, he would just have to be wary of you.

You, Nami and Usopp had volunteered to stay back and watch over the children. However, Caesar Clown himself had come to attack you. Unable to land an attack on him the three of you were knocked out and he took the children back with him leaving the three of you and Brownbeard behind. Luckily, the four of you had managed to escape and were now back inside the research facility with everyone else.

It was a strange group of people; pirates, Marines, a few of Caesar's subordinates, and whatever you were. However, given the situation everyone had decided to work together to escape the gas, defeat Caesar Clown and save the children, but you sensed that Trafalgar Law had other intentions as well.

Initially with the task of helping find the children, you stuck with Nami, but watched intently as Law went off on his own. You quickly made the decision to follow him. Unsure of whether he had any ulterior motives to form an alliance with the Straw Hats, you felt it would be a safe bet if you kept an eye on him, in turn protecting the Straw Hats who you were indebted to - incase he tried anything.

"Nami, I'm going to follow Trafalgar Law. Maybe I can find something that can help the children," you say, and quickly follow behind the other pirate, not giving Nami the chance to protest to your decision.

You kept a safe distance from Law, you couldn't let him see you. Following him through various corridors he finally stops at a room filled with huge tanks, the words 'S.A.D' painted on each of them in big bold letters. What is this place?

"Room."

"Shambles."

Law's voice draws your attention away from the tanks, and you notice the same blue orb from earlier surround him. You're taken by surprise when you see a translucent cube with what looks to be a heart inside it appear in the palm of his hand. Then suddenly Law's flung back and in front of him stands a tall man in a white coat and shades, the cube now in his hands.

"Ver-go," Law tries to say as he stands up but the man squeezes the cube causing Law to fall back down and yell in pain.

Your eyes now focus on the heart, is that Law's? How did this Vergo guy get his heart?

This time Law tries to hit Vergo with an attack. He's able to hit him but it doesn't seem to do much. Vergo once again squeezes at Law's heart, harder this time, and you watch as Law falls on his back, unable to get up.

Shit what do I do? You scan your surroundings trying to find some way to help Law. You're not one for close combat, or combat at all for that matter, so running in and attacking is not an option. Just then you see the Marine from earlier, and you let out a sigh of relief, you could hold off on intervening for now.

Things however seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. Vergo had the upper hand, Smoker almost completely knocked out, yet you had a sliver of hope when you noticed Law dragging himself across the floor to reach for his heart. But, just as he was about to reach for it Vergo picked it up. You looked back to see Smoker lying still on the floor. Then you heard Law scream. A gasp fell from your lips, but you were quick to duck behind a wall before anyone could see you. Your body was shaking, Law's screaming was bringing back the memories.

Prison cell.

Dragged out against your own will.

Handcuffs.

Words.

Screaming.

More screaming.

Silence.

Handcuffs.

You try and take deep breaths to calm yourself. There's no point in remembering those things. You're free from it now, you try and tell yourself, You need to do something, if you don't, no one gets out.

Three deep breaths. You swore to yourself that you would never do this again, but maybe that wasn't the best idea when you had decided to associate yourself with pirates.

You outstretch your arm, and focus your attention on Vergo while still trying to hide yourself. From the corner of your eye you can see Smoker slowly starting to get up. You have to time this right.

"Grip."

"Twist."

You close your hands into a tight fist, and twist your wrist to the right.

Vergo suddenly shouts, an excruciating pain surging through his right arm, and he drops Law's heart, just as Smoker hits Vergo from behind.

You unclench your fist and bite down on your hat that you had already placed between your teeth, trying your best not to let out a gut-wrenching scream as you slide down against the wall to hide yourself.

The problem with these powers? You feel the same pain you inflict onto others, only it's far worse than what they feel.

——————————————————————————

Law's surprised by the way Vergo is suddenly gripping at his arm, but he immediately looks to his right, he heard that gasp from earlier. He knows you've been following him, watching him, but until now he wasn't sure why. You're gripping at your right arm as well, from your expression he can tell you're in pain, did you do that? He doesn't know what to make of it. However, he takes this as his chance to get his heart back, and just in time. Vergo's attention is back on him.

——————————————————————————

Trafalgar Law, you say to yourself, eyeing the man whose sitting by himself away from the rest of the crowd. He's different from what you had heard about him. Given, what you had heard about him was from a long time ago.

After the pain had subsided you had decided to get away just as Law laid his final attack on Vergo. You didn't want him questioning why you had followed him, and you definitely wouldn't have been able to explain why your right arm was limp. Instead, you would head back to the Straw Hats and act as if you never saw or heard what happened.

"(Y/N)-chan?"

"Hmm?" You turn your attention to Sanji who's holding out a bowl of food.

"Could you give this to Tra?" he asks, and you nod your head as you take the bowl from him.

Law's staring at Luffy and the rest of the Straw Hats, annoyance etched on his face. When he sees you his eyes do a quick scan from head to toe, but you notice how they linger on your right arm, which you quickly hide behind your back, shoving the bowl towards him.

"Here, Sanji wanted me to give this to you," you say, and he takes the bowl from you, nodding in thanks. You stand beside him for some time, waiting for him to say something, anything, but not a word comes out of him.

"Well, if you need more let me know," you say, quickly scurrying back to the cook who's all too happy with your company.

——————————————————————————

A/N: Now you're probably wondering after reading this, why the fuck are you writing? It's very simple actually - because what's the point in living if you don't keep adding to the list of things you're embarrassed about <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> ..... anyway see you next time....unless I choose to dip after this.

#one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #law x y/n #law fanfic #screaming crying cannot believe im doing this

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