#to certain things bc of where he works-

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway - #its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in. #they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in! #it feels like there's something there... #separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing? #maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day... #(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post) #its a push & pull to be certain.... #but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side.... #what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet! #i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially #but this post aint about that. itll be related though #homebogging #wh speculation #please let this have made sense! #when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills! #my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3

[annamaryllis]

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

#annabeth🥺 #it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead #it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply #but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad #she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him #sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff #both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways... #but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life #it's really complex and difficult work #and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why #so certain things will never get the best closure #ugh it's all so fucked up #MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO #and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest #like her mother's conditional love #and trauma from her mortal family #and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions #so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter #and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that... #AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months #and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which #should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy #and then he can work through some stuff too down there #HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed #bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely) #the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day #annabeth chase #luke castellan #✏️

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA

previous ⏮️ now playing ⏭️ next back to playlist

#platonic elmike #stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #mike wheeler #mike's pov #mike is still a hard nut to crack for me... #this scene in particular i'm still not certain about #i do think it was riddled with his very consistent tactic of stalling #but he's also of course relieved to hear el say she missed him #perhaps this is him thinking "oh thank god she doesn't hate me' #while also having to accept in real time that will was perhaps right that el still needs him... but is he up for the task of el's bf?... #and so he's sort of trying to work out how he can finally just do this to do right by el #which comes with the fear that he is indeed going to lose her when it all comes crashing down inevitably like it already has and is #either way i think he's contending with the fact that losing el may be inevitable #that's why he's having such a hard time lying to her in the first place #bc he knows lies lead to the truth eventually being revealed #and so he just feels her slipping through his fingers no matter what he does #he imagined this future with her (and will) where they stayed connected to each other no matter what #but mike's scared that future won't be possible once all is revealved #i think will's whole speech in the van has mike even more conflicted #bc his feelings for will are very strong at this point #and so even if he believes that this is truly how el feels as of now... #he also probably knows deep deep down that he wishes (still hopes) it was will's feelings #which makes going through with this even harder #not to mention all the parallels between mike and hopper ('not hopper...not mike... you!') #these two male figures in el's life who rescued her from a horrible situation are having a hard time coming to terms with her growing up #like yes she's growing and 'slipping through your fingers' but that's okay! #you don't have to lose her forever just because she doesn't have to rely on you anymore! #4x09 #gif

[yardsards]

adulthood is just visiting ur friends, saying "damn bitch, you live like this?" (affectionate) and aggressively helping them clean up while they politely tell you that you don't have to do that. and then having friends do that to you when they visit your apartment.

#eliot posts #one of my friends often does not make his bed and sleeps on a bare-ass mattress so i INSIST on at least putting a fitted sheet on #(and then normally just fully make the bed too bc might as well) #i tell him to ''stop rawdogging the mattress''/''put some protection on that nasty thang'' #bc i of course must use the most cursed language available #it only takes like 5 minutes to do and is very worth it #and then i have this second friend who takes this to a whole nother level #he does my dishes every time he visits and lemme tell you. the dish situation around here gets DIRE. #he did like 4 sinkfulls when he was here last #and motivated me to clean the rest of the kitchen while he did that #it took like an hour and we ran out of hot water #but WAY faster than if i had tried to handle that shit alone #and we had fun and jammed to 80s music #another person i'm only loose friends with but i helped her clean a ton of trash from her dorm last time i visited #bc she was on the tail end of a depressive episode and i KNOW how that is #this only works w certain kinds of cleaning tho. you can't tidy up/organize other ppl's shit‚ for example #bc you don't know where anything is supposed to go and you'll likely make things more difficult in the end #amd it just requires you to handle all their personal belongings and open their drawers and shit #and there's a 90% chance that'll make them uncomfortable and like you're violating their space #but shit like dishes is generally very much fair game and won't make them uncomfortable #tho sometimes you gotta ask if there's a specific way they like their dishes washed bc some ppl are picky abt that #ANYWAY #is it obvious my love language* is acts of service? #*(tho the 5 love languages thing is a VAST over-simplification and things are not actually clear cut like that)

[uraniumglassgirl]

I love aokiji from one piece. Hes my little swimbly bimbly

#i like him a lot. i love how one piece gets a lot of morally gray antagonists #like. aokiji is kind of a really good guy in certain moments. #like he cares a lot about civillians . he just works inside of a really shitty system . hes like the idea of a ‘good’ cop #who like joined the marines with the intent of helping people but he does more harm than good . #i think it makes a lot of sense for him to have quit after the time skip. i know hes rolling with the blackbeard pirates now though #which is weird to me. bc that doesnt seem to suit his ideals. i think he’ll turn out to be undercover or some shit or a sword operative #im excited to learn more abt sword bc its apparently really important in the manga rn #but im not caught up so it’s just like. a vague thing i know now #*thinks about robin backstory* dereshishishishishi….. #also it makes me so mad how oda does so many of his black characters bc. aokiji is right there. you know how to draw black people #give that same treatment to usopp!!! or blackbeard. its lame. it sucks #related. hes a minor antagonist but i wish they did more with mr 5. hes another black character with a good design (at least in the manga) #the anime kind of connects the corners of his lips and makes them look bad but in the manga its natural yet still cartoony #he has such an underutilized devil fruit too T_T he can basically explode any part of his body. #and its usually used in the form of flicking exploding boogers at people (funny) but i was expecting him to get a cool moment where he just #fuckin. BOXES someone with explosions and some cool kicks. sadly we never get that though

[yoojinluv]

#need to get my outer appearance to the point I’m like this about myself #like I have so much admiration..and it’s clear she works hard for it (working out etc) #idk if it comes off as vain but this is really important to me that I reach a point where I’m on this vibe abt myself #but this inner is just as important I just want to become a better person in general.. need to focus on that #and certain goals and not drinking alcohols every evening after spending all day at a job i hate.. #I’ve been with the same company for ~5yrs and I’ve only gotten frumpier grumpier more boring and more lazy #surrounded by other ppl who have resigned themselves to living for the weekend #idk what I’m going to do #I know I’ve been talking about this for years #I feel like the relationship I’ve been in for the last few years totally destroyed my sense of self #bc I was always trying to focus on him #like a sunflower follows the sun #but this breakup.. might be an opportunity to come back to myself #isn’t it so crazy that I’m still living with my ex #I’m so thankful that he’s listening to political videos on YouTube in the living room bc it’s the biggest turnoff ever (he’s conservative) #and before u judge me for that… I could accept it bc i know he’s not bigoted just a little ummmm #easily manipulated #I’ve seen how succeptive he is to the way things are presented to him #and he elicits the exact response that’s why coerced #almost too easy #but he is so sweet #generous #and so soft although he considers himself the opposite #everyone he meets loves him #just one of those people

[heartyearning]

one of the funniest things when you start studying theatre design (at our school anyway) is that u come in and for your first few scenography designs youre like im gonna use screens ,,,,, —and projection.... this is how i’m going to enhance the impact of my performance 🤯🧠💯 & then you go to theatre productions in which they use screens and projection & ur like All My Teachers Were Right This Sucks Severe Ass

#^so says guy who crucially is using screens in his concept rn #but its different bc the screen itself is the medium as opposed to enhancing theatre cause like the thing is #and this sounds fucking pretentious until you actually pay attn to it #but the thing is that when ur trying to balance screen/projection with live action ur projection is going to eat shit absolutely every time #nothing beats the tension of live theatre & if youre attempting to mix it too often it'll end up in comparison #(this is if you use the projection cut n dry i once saw a performance where the projection was done really well actually #but it wasnt so much a balance btwn the two things as it was like. certain scenes were a video the performer just danced along to #and it was more so about his individual experience vs the experience others have that he cant articulate on his own #it was rly fucking good it was called the history of the korean western theatre it was stellar) #but also like the thing i just left was an opera that used screens practically instead of doing anything on the stage #which is SO bewildering to me #there were a few more things wrong with it but the biggest thing to me was like #in these videos they were showing (during the performance of the scenes) it was basically the scene that was playing #except with an attempt at a real costume and somewhat more of an effort when it comes to proxemics #whereas on stage itself it was black clothes (not even interesting shapes) and people talking At each other #which not only does this become a really boring back drop for an even more boring live action part (which is nevertheless still more #compelling than the video) they were also speaking the lines in the videos just with the sound removed #so often it felt like you were watching out of sync videos #and also like even the costumes in the videos were boring as hell bc it was just patterns printed on top of fabric #which can work at times but not like this it was all so .... 2 dimensional but like quite literally #its not even that bad to be honest like ive seen far worse things its just a lot more egregious cause its unreal expensive and also doesnt #even seem to try #(+ im quite sure the director of this opera is my theatre history professor's dad & i am yelling & screaming imagining the family dinners) #(like all the actors were also white & it was the story of the indian queen which is abt mexico & peruvian incas & my prof is like. so #hyper socially aware this wouldnt ever ever ever fly with her #plus she's really creative & we saw a play by her last semester and its night & fucking day love)

[xfindingtrouble]

thinking about how percy unintentionally hurts the people around him. first it starts with cass. obviously leaving her behind as a survival tactic but also when he gets her back. cassandra was given no time to breathe, to heal, to simmer on her feelings before being tasked with picking up all the pieces. she does it & she's proud to do it because it means she's becoming a part of the community but she is tired. she is young & tired & it's not getting any easier throughout the height of the chroma conclave.

also thinking about how he quite literally got vex killed because he was impulsive. he knew they were in the temple of the raven queen, he knew they were in a domain of death & yet he still failed her. he still triggered the trap that ended her life. though vax got her back, it was not without a price. the raven queen would have had him regardless of what happened there, i'm sure, but percy was the catalyst. he's so often the spark that light the gunppwder, explosive. it's why it's dangerous to be near him. he is insane & that can be useful but it can also be a liability.

with time of course, he tries to become self aware. but again, the key word here is ' tries '. at the end of the day he is only human. i keep noticing as i make my way through the end of c1 [ I'm currently on 108 ] that through this whole vecna arc he hasn't checked on cassandra. he claims it is because he doesn't want to draw attention to her, but i think it had to do with something else. i think he is too scared to check on her & whitestone be gone. if whitestone is going to be a target, it's not because of vox machina. it's because of the motherfucking ziggeraut. it's a target whether or not they go there he is just fucking Stupid for someone so smart [ affectionate ]

#ooc. #tbd. #this is just talking about a few Big Things but i also want to note that i think #he also gets caught up in what he's doing on a daily basis & neglects certain relationships bcs of that #time is relative to him if something can wait then it will #but sometimes he applies that concept to people & it doesn't work out as well #happy 9am #there are more examples im sure but right now these are where my brain is at

[snekdood]

Vaush almost seems manipulative in the way he talks about religion, like i feel very strongly that he doesn't actually think religion is *quite* as bad as something like toxic masculinity but he wants his audience to feel that way, so he keeps drawing comparisons between religion and all these other fucked up things like antisemities or whatever, to give the impression to his audience that he genuinely thinks its that serious, and knowing how a lot of ppl can be in his audience, whatever vaush thinks they decide to take as like the best most intellectually and well thought out take ever, no self analyzing, no questions asked, and i feel like hes manipulating that fact to his advantage, he literally said in his debate w oceankeltoi (which i wasnt gonna watch but did eventually bc i heard vaush kinda sucked in it (and he did)) that hes okay with using peer pressure to try to discourage people from being religious. It seems like hes going to try whatever he can socially to like. Shun anyone whos religious or any of their beliefs and is probably even totally okay with ppl bullying religious ppl so long as the social pressure gets people to stop. Which. Uh. I feel like i shouldnt have to say is a pretty fucked up philosophy

#you are already putting too much work to control ppl just existing #social. political. systemic. wherever you're putting this energy to control it will only end badly. #anyways this whole stuff kinda made me look at him in an entirely different light. #i think hes become too convinced hes always right and has got really into his ass. idk if hes changed since that debate tho bc #i stopped watching him for a while even before it #the problem w that debate is that vaush is doing the thing where hes actually debating the beliefs of certain audience members #whereas ocean is actually just trying to debate him specifically w/o changing the audiences mind quite as much #oceans here trying to understand vaush and vaush is just here to try to make ocean look stupid. not actually understand or come to a #mutual understanding or literally anything. idk. but its pretty frustrating how he devolved to JUST doing that in debates. #hes decided religious ppl are evil or whatever and thus refuses to meet ocean on an equal and respectful level. theres so much lack #of respect here. #i also sorta feel like vaushs 'what about those ppl who think their gods are always in the right' thing was bc perhaps one of his audience #members decided to screenshot one of my posts where i said 'ppl need to accept that their gods arent inherently good' but accidently #typed are instead of arent and idk. maybe its a reach to decide thats why he brought that up but yknow. i do sometimes feel like yall #(hi vaushs community whos probably stalking me online bc i used to be in the community and you think im cringe bc i love #my main boy shiv) #well. ig obviously i feel like some of yall stalk me to poke fun at me and prolly posted that in his discord or smthn #idk but. its gotta stop if its happening bc im literally just some guy #I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT I DONT THINK VAUSH IS ABUSIVE BC IDK HIM LIKE THAT AND CANT MAKE THAT CLAIM #just bc someones being manipulative does not make them ABUSIVE which is a whole different and bigger step towards Bad

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

You’re never too dumb for Jesus btw

#I feel like in the movement of focusing more on what we offer as thinking individuals and caring less about physical appearance #I understand that common sense is important to develop #and also the desire to learn and grow is amazing!!! #but also not everyone is going to be brilliant #not everyone is going to be a genius #not everyone is going to be smart even #what’s more important is being humble and willing to grow and also knowing your own self worth is based on not how much you can offer #but how much you choose to offer #if you give all you can to be a loving person and work to make the world a better place #regardless of if you went to Ivy League or community college or no college at all #or if you dropped out of high school or work your way up through a corporation #or stay at one job and never rise through the ranks bc you like serving where you are #that’s what’s important #I base my worth on the unconditional fact that I’m a child of Heavenly Parents who love me #and I don’t have the same capabilities or mental facilities as someone else necessarily and that’s ok #I am how God made me and my weaknesses are never enough to get in the way of me accomplishing what He wants me to do #sorry I have to learn the same lesson over and over #sorry certain things just don’t click for me and I struggle to understand a lot #but I can still be a tool for good in this world #I can still be a beacon of hope #I can still be a candle on a hilltop #bc of His Atonement and His Resurrection there is literally nothing I can’t endure with His help #ok I guess that’s my Easter message #if anyone else struggles with their self esteem concerning their intelligence #you are a valued human being and I love you #especially since some people assume others are unintelligent when their brains are just different #I think I’m both #like I think differently but also I’m just a lil dumb #and that’s ok #im my Heavenly Father’s daughter who is strong and faithful and a lil dumb but He is guiding me so it’s ok

[hymnblood]

I think the big thing I hope is taken into consideration is that. While zagreus Is one of the more easygoing gods....please don't treat him like a joke or an entirely casual type of person he actually has a rather big side of indifference towards a lot of the things people show/tell him about so some things that might be entertaining to you might annoy him/he might be indifferent entirely n just ' k cool '

Ig I'm saying don't assume he'll go along with every little thing easily bc n allow certain things that he knows would bother another happen n usually if that is ignored it would Actually piss him off to the point of being rudely curt w others. So like. Respect him I Guess.

#i noticed i write him as easygoing bc he is you know but. he also isnt entirely that #plus i dont like ppl assuming that zag would let certain things happen that he knows Wouldn't Fly where he lives Because Of Reasons #so it comes down to the. dont assume things of my muse n how hed react type of stuff or w.e i still need to work on my rules bc i updated - #them but havent Completed them if that makes sense #wah #nothing triggered this btw i think its just big for me bc #i dont like my God Muse to be treated like a Joke and a Punchline for other ppls muses so i wanna bite that shit #before it happens

[padfootastic]

2 & 8 💞

hello, anon! thanks for the ask 💜

2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

oh my god i can keep going about this *at length.* i have been so, so lucky in the time i’ve been writing to receive the kind of feedback i have. i don’t think it’s possible to pick one out of all that. some of my favorite comments come from a reader on ao3 (krath, if ur reading this, i adore ur reactions so much) who leaves these super long, super rambly comments about everything and anything. their observations about what i write, the way i write it, the unconditional support—i don’t think i can ever articulate how much it means to me. i reread them constantly, especially when i’m feeling down. one time they left a comment mere minutes after i published a fic that said ‘have to do work so i’ll edit this later but i loved this and wanted to leave something for you now’ and that just. god. that was so precious. (spoiler: they did edit it later with the most thoughtful comment)

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer.

this is such an interesting one because i’ve only recently started…branching out in fandom. before this, i had exactly one (1) person i used to talk to, who i’ve lost touch with :( but in the past half year, i’ve been part of discord groups, made so many friends in two different fandoms, found the most wonderful support system (apparently you’re much more productive when you have people constantly hyping you and letting u bounce ideas off them??? who knew???) and it’s so fucking cool. tumblr is where i dump random dumb shit, ao3/ffn is where that gets expanded into longer stuff but discord is what’s truly my safe space. i’ve had the most unhinged conversations there about stuff i couldn’t dream of putting here. it’s made me so much more confident as a writer, too, plus getting to talk to authors i adore in real time?? getting to scream in their dms instead of in public comments??? getting sneak peaks and inside info?? that’s a kind of privilege i’m still in awe of.

from this ask game!

#honorary mentions for favorite comments- ‘ #any variation of ‘im rereading this’ or ‘i’ve read your other work(s)’ because i’m always like ! #u chose to read more stuff i’ve written? 🥺🥺 #the ones where people are mad/sad w canon and they read mine for happies!! #ones that point out super niche things that i sprinkled in hoping someone would like them up #like james reading muggle & wizarding parenting books bc he was terrified he’d mess up. someone said they loved the specificity & diligence #also requests for translations oh my god!!! #i’ve only gotten 3? 4? so far but each time. it’s like a punch in the stomach (affectionate) bc you- you want to share this willingly? 🥺🥺 #last one promise but when people say i made them cry or sob or any emotional reaction. just. fuck #also to give an example of my discord convos- i was screaming something v nff (about- certain things- being warmed *coughs*) #and literally two minutes later i had two people offer to write me a little fic for it. literally. just like that. i was- blown away #anyway this is getting super long lol sorry anon! #but i love talking about the communities i’ve managed to find myself in #especially because it’s so new still? feels kinda surreal? also i don’t talk fandom irl so this is my only outlet #and the kind of total acceptance i’ve seen in some places is 🥺🥺 #pen’s asks #ask game

[fuzzyunicorn]

Speed on my love, I’m coming to meet you in the field (my spirit team knows we are of a bellicose nature (how God intended us to be he told me) and I personally enjoyed my lives as a medieval knight so they use a lot of medieval knight imagery in the visions they send me and I’ve been in our castle awaiting you to return from the battlefield but I can’t take feeling the pain you’re going thru that I feel in my bedchamber & they know how willful I can be so they’ve dressed me, gotten my horse saddled & brought to me and here I fuckin’ come to escort the king (you) home)

#don’t worry about a thing I’m handling your anxieties and regrets #you told me in our shared dreams how much you regret I wasn’t there for your basic training and graduation and events I too feel that pang #but rest easy I asked our guides our ancestors our guardian angels and God to please help us work thru the negative feelings and regrets #you know what they showed me baby? an old time war ship (the ones we’d sail when we were pirates) and it was being held together by many #big chain links #that’s God and his divine beings they are holding you and I together we are safe for we are under their protection and guidance #then they showed a storm threatening the ship and then in a flashbang style light I couldn’t see & then they showed me the ship completely #repaired and quite literally breached the storm wall and into the brightest most magnificent light I’ve ever seen a golden dawn on steroids #rest baby we are all carrying you you did your part and they said you excelled @ every task given to u and you passed them all with flying #colors!!!! I cannot put into words the pride I feel for you and all of our jaws are on the floor with how you faced everything down head on #talk about grabbing a bull by the horns and twisting its neck so hard it snaps as well as the spine #there really isn’t nothing you can do and another reason why we know that is bc we were the catalyst for your #spiritual awakening and certain people had to be removed as they were blocking you from having a relationship with god or yourself and guess #what you managed to accomplish in a few mere weeks everything I have in the past 2 years that’s fucking incredible doesn’t cut it that’s #so rare and impressive we’re at a loss for words (hence our jaws on the floor) remember baby you can do anything you’re a dream master and a #master manifestor (they told me one of your manifestations is me our relationship and you manifested the ever living fuck out of it :) #Channeled song was Listen to the Music by the Doobie Brothers (yeah you now have so many reasons 2 smile and rejoice) the things u r capable #of r unheard of (wait until I tell you about our life where (I don’t think this was the start but an important moment) I literally watched #u free climb a verticle cliff face with zero equipment just fear we’d be caught by our evil lord and watching you climb it with nothing but #clothes u were wearing you literally climbed it with no shoes like how the fuck did you do that? you can pull anything off no matter how #impossible #you make the impossible look effortless #return of the King but he’s more badass than Aragorn and (book version) Jon Snow combined

[mrfoox]

For someone who's sensetive and easily affected, I also have a very strong line of.... People going to far

#miranda talking shit #You can touch me and that's nice but if you start going over a certain line it dies for me in seconds #That line I never know where it is. Seem to be different per person but then it's reached and I just turn into a stone #And it stops feeling nice for me and any mood that was created is gone #That's probably why it worked with Linus. Bc he didn't push physically he was verbal about it and asking #I know many things that's cringe and ruin the mood but to me? The certain way the mood won't die #I think I give the impression of being... Well very willing. Bc I sound like... I make a lot of sounds i can't shut up and I shake #So I have probably fooled plenty men who thinks I'm dtf but then its like.... Naw.... We need to know each other... Three meetings isn't #Enough. Part of me wonder how I'd act with a woman. Bc at one hand i think I'd be.... More comfortable?

[luveline]

gorgeous can we get bombshell reader and Spencer May be the first time he’s snappy with her bc he’s stressed and she’s just so taken aback and May be even tears up? And then just a fluffy ending with Spencer apologizing

thank you for requesting! fem, 2.2k

Spencer Reid is extra kissable when he's frowning. Button up and no suit jacket, sleeves pushed past his elbows and hair on the shorter side, he holds a certain confidence in his hands where they're tucked in his pockets. Sure of himself, and clearly agitated. 

You're always on his side; you don't think twice about easing into the conference room to see what's wrong. 

"Hey," you say with a slight lilt to your tone. You're always on his side, and always flirting. "What's wrong?" 

"Why does something have to be wrong?" he asks. 

Not mean. Not light. Somewhere in the solid middle, his gaze loyal to the laptop on the desk he stands behind. You step close enough to smell the subtle scent of his cologne, wondering if he can smell your perfume in turn, and if it's one he likes. You try to touch his hand and he takes the desk into his grip instead, leaning forward, out of reach. 

"That's not what I meant to convey," you say, still flirting. You're not stupid, you realise his mood, but you're hoping it's somebody else's fault. "But if you aren't happy to see me then I'd definitely suggest there was something wrong." 

"I'm just trying to figure something out." 

This close, to your own credit, Spencer usually trips up. He's been getting better as you've grown closer, your 'torturing' —as the team likes to call it— only prompting the occasional blush or stammer. You don't flirt with Spencer to torture him no matter what anyones says and you never have, you flirt with him because he deserves to be complimented. He's andsome, intelligent, and courageous. What others might miss you see in blaring neon lights: he's a catch. You intend on making your intentions known, and if that means playing the long game or the slow burn, that's okay. You like to dance. 

You put yourself between him and the laptop screen. He can still see it if he cranes his neck, and he does. "You look a little tired, handsome. Looking at a screen all day will hurt you in the end. Neck aches, shoulder cramps, eye strain. Though I can't help with the latter, the former…" His arm is solid under your hand, your fingertips running along the ridge of a stark vein. 

He doesn't quite flinch away, but he moves quickly enough to startle you, lamenting, "Could you give me some space, please?" 

That's all well and good, you rush to do as he's asked and step back because the very last thing you want is to make him uncomfortable and his voice is frankly acidic, but everything is moving too quickly, you're not as aware as you should be —you smash your hand backwards into a cold cup of coffee and knock it straight into the lap of Spencer's laptop. 

"No," you gasp, grabbing the cup before the entirety of it can empty. Coffee wells between the keys and you go to grab it to– well, to do something. 

"Stop it!" Spencer shouts, voice sharp as a knife. "You always do this," —quieter, venomous— "you can't help yourself." 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I would answer you if I had the time. I'll be busy rescuing my hard drive before an entire month of work is wasted thanks to your dire need for attention." 

He slips around you and stalks out the door, coffee dripping from the corner of his laptop in a sorry trail that shines in the fluorescent lights. 

Your first rush of tears are driven by indignation; it was an accident, you didn't mean to do that, why would you ever do that? But the second, more encompassing rush is a hot mixture of shame and guilt. What have you done? 

You take a hesitant step toward the door but don't bother following him. I'll make things worse, you think, bringing a hand to your face. Makeup marrs your hand as you wipe your cheeks. You stare down at the stains for a long, long time. 

I'll apologise, you think eventually, rubbing at the mascara like soot on your palm. Just as soon as I look okay again. 

You don't want Spencer or anyone to see you upset. You wear your makeup and your confidence for yourself, not to hide any insecurity but to embolden yourself, to be yourself. But to get to your desk you'd have to leave the conference room bared as you are, and you'd have to face Spencer, and the second option brings more tears. 

This is all so messy, and it's your fault. 

I'm such an idiot. I'm exactly what he thinks of me. 

You sit in the chair furthest from the door with a pack of tissues from the cubby and rub your hot cheeks dry, streaks of mascara in the shapes of your fingertips like soot left behind. It's sitting that gets you —the shock of tears at being shouted at by someone you care about amplifies into a distress you can't explain. It's stupid, it's stupid. You press your face into your hands and curl in on yourself at the table, ears ringing. I'm so, so stupid. 

—

The inside of Spencer's lip is bleeding, metallic on his tongue. He's white hot annoyance all the way to Penelope's office, choked as he tells her he needs her help. 

"Spencer?" she said. "What happened? Are you okay?" 

He realises what he's done. "Please, Garcia, can you do something? I really need to go." 

He doesn't hear her response beyond her surprised but emphatic Sure, spinning on his heel to walk back the way he came. He rubs at his temple, moving between a slow trudge and a speed walk as he assesses the damage of what he's said. What did he say? your dire need for attention. 

Your sniffing is something out of his fucking nightmares. Who does he think he is? You're sitting exactly where he left you next to that half empty coffee cup, a tissue scrunched in your trembling hands, visible in the small glass window of the door. You must be thinking of what he's said to have missed the sound of his footsteps, or perhaps he's left you too upset to want to look up. 

He sees the moment a sob works through you, watches you hold your breath in a painful effort to keep it down, raising the tissue to your eyes and catching your tears before they fall. You're doing a lacklustre job despite your efforts, the oily shine of mascara iridescent on your cheeks. Or maybe that's tear tracks. It's hard to tell. 

Spencer fights with himself. He doesn't know if deserves to come running back or if it would be more fair to send JJ or Derek in to comfort you. 

"You made your bed," his mom would say, not without affection. "You have to lie in it." 

Spencer squeezes his eyes closed to push away the memory, surveying the damage he's done carefully as he crosses the threshold back into the conference room. Your head lifts at the sound of the door, your stammer visible before you speak, "Spence– Spencer. Is your laptop okay? Did I break it? I'm so sorry." 

Gideon would tell Spencer to be nicer. Hotch would say Reid in that stern shade of voice that's half disapproval and half fondness. They'd both tell him to be better, but neither of them have ever had to see you as you look now, tearstained and sorry, eyes wide with worry but shoulders tense. He has his role models, and yet none of them could possibly give him a way to apologise that could ever make up for they way he's made you feel. 

Little dramatic, Morgan would say. Start with a hug, loverboy. Can't go wrong with a hug. 

He should ask but he doesn't, a second transgression against you. Spencer pushes past chair and the sodden circle of carpet to your chair, pausing in case you're going to tell him to shove it. You lick your lips. "Did I break it?" you ask, as though resigned for a yes  

He can't temper that amount of self-hatred on you. It doesn't suit you. He much prefers you the way you like to be, confident in everything, flirty and funny and soft, in both touch and touches. He takes your face into a careful hand, tilting it toward the light and weary of your shallow exhale. "I…" He begins and ends, stroking your tacky cheek with his index finger, as though brushing away an eyelash. If it were real he'd say make a wish, and you would wish for him or some similar sweetness, salacious smile to boot, or earnestness fit to fill a mountain. I wish you'd realise how pretty you are and stop denying me the pleasure of a beautiful boyfriend, you'd croon. 

His fingers collect at your jaw and slip behind your ear as he cleans your skin with the side of his thumb. You lean into the touch, slashing his hesitancy in two. 

"Sorry," he says, pulling your head toward his neck gently as he leans down to hold you. "I'm sorry. Don't be upset, please. Don't be upset " 

"I'm an idiot–" 

"No," he says, with the facts to back his denial. "I'm an idiot, I should never have upset you like this–"

"I broke your computer, it's just like you said–" 

"I shouldn't have–" 

"–I'm so needy I could've ruined all your hard work," you say, wriggling with guilt like you attempt to pull away. 

Spencer really doesn't want to let you go now he has you, not until he's sure you'll stay in one piece. "If it's ruined, it's my fault for failing to back it up." 

He should tell you that he's sorry for what he said. He knew it wasn't right he moment it escaped him, to speak to you like that, and accuse you of what he did. He basically called you selfish, uncaring. He implied it and worse, and for what? An accident? A mis-step that he practically forced you into? 

"I never should've said that to you," he says, breaking his hug to crouch in front front you, searching blindly for your hand as he holds eye contact, looking up. You deign to frown down. "And I walked away. And you're crying," —his voice fries with sympathy— "because of me." 

Your hand is limp in his. "I'm sorry," he says. 

"It's okay." You sniffle and nod, lips struggling into a smile. 

"It's not okay." 

"Well, I hit your coffee over, so we're even." 

"You accidentally spilled my drink, you didn't deserve to be mocked." 

"Spence…" Your eyes half-lidded, you wince down at the cradle of his hand where it holds yours. "Did I break it?" 

"I don't know. I got to Garcia's office and I knew I did the wrong thing, so I came back." 

You swallow audibly. "I just wanted to make you feel better." 

"I know, angel." He stands again as your eyes well with tears to hug you, kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry. That was all me, okay? I shouldn't have snapped at you." 

What follows is agony. Spencer patting your back through a panicked bubble of tears, wretched in knowing he caused it, and worse is the look you give him as he wipes your messed up make up away in want of a mirror, like you're grateful. 

"Does it look really bad?" 

"N–no. You look really pretty," he says. 

"Are my eyes puffy?"

A little. "No. You look great." He can't apologise anymore– it won't help you feel better now, it'll just assuage his own worry. What you need is a different reassurance. "It's hard not looking at you, sometimes, you look that nice. But you know that already." 

"I don't mean to do that. I didn't mean to." 

Spencer puts his hand above your heart. "I know you didn't. I really, really shouldn't have said it. I was being cranky and I struck out like a kid." 

"...You're not just saying I look nice to get back in the good books, are you?" you ask. 

Spencer leans in, nearly nose to nose with you. "Of course not." 

You tilt your head as though you might kiss him. He knows you won't and he's delighted anyways. It means you're feeling okay. He's nearly forgiven, or, at the very least, you're not actively upset. "I thought I liked seeing you pissed off, but now I'm not so sure." 

"It's not a good look on me," he murmurs. "But it looks great on you, if you want to get angry with me."

"Well now I can't. I know it's what you want." 

"Can I give you a hug?" he asks. 

You drop all your acts and slide your arms around his neck. He wraps you up slowly, one arm at a time, careful to put all the pressure exactly where you like it. 

"That feels nice," you mumble. 

He bends into you and rubs your back. "Yeah?" 

"Don't," you warn. 

He draws a shape into your back with his fingers, slow, tiny things that make you squirm. "Don't what?" 

"You're tickling me." You don't sound unhappy about it. 

"What?" he asks. "I can't hear you over the sound of me being a huge jackass. Sorry, angel." 

Your giggle is honey into his shoulder, sticky and sluggish as his circles turn to stars.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

[mx-paint]

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#like. im not the first person to say this. #but i think some of yall dont know that even if a book or story has a certain topic #it doesnt mean that everything in the story that the characters are doing is meant to be right #like. i saw someone describe this one story as a want to be rape fantasy. #when in actuality. the scenes arenet portrayed as Good Things #and both characters acknowledge these instances as some of their most fucked up descisions #its just that other people find it hot and so they assume thats where the author was going #like. one instance one character forcedly kissed the other while he was blindfolded and wouldnt let him get away #and the other character (even though it was initiated by the other) made out with the character while he was drunk #but both instances involve the characters later punishing themselves and swearing to leave the other alone #like. ik it can be hard to look at. bc its Meant to be #even though they work through these instances they still Did them #the only other reason why i think they could think that is an extra that Is a dream #(a consensual one between both of them as adults with a safe sound in case) #(imo its weirder that they choose to rp as around the time they met as maybe teens. #like they did it bc it was the only time the one character felt like his body was actually his own before it got hurt Badly #in different ways. and i think the author was going to change it but something happened to them)