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#to be fair this is literally how i am irl
hella1975 · 2 months
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we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡
#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now#and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off#bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty#serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything#serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY#NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME#but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it#like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'#bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life#BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH#that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company#and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭#and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER#AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME#SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING#ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!!#hella goes to uni
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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THE TORMENT OF TRYING TO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOWS YOU COMMON DECENCY. HELP
#mine#GOD I REALLY SHOULD START A TAG ABT HIM BECAUSE IM MAKING SO MANY POSTS IN A ROW I MIGHT AS WELL TAG EM#💿#there you go . approximately 1 (one) CD. not telling you what it stands for#onto the vent section: IUIUAHDJEHFKW#literally nothing has happened but if im alone with my thoughts enough i will convince myself we r in love –_– hatred#hes just been nicer to me i guess which is making my brain go sicko mode. hhsiwhuyugj im. <3 i seem insaner in text than i do irl#i looked at pictures of him and almost exploded im fine im fine im fine im like so extremely normal i swear to god#😐😐😐 im. my brain. fwshoo#im experiencing brain disease or something im sick in the head we have barely. BARELY barely talked yet i am still this insane#to be fair. i have talked to him more than i talked to my last delusional obsession yet im not that obsessed . but still#holds him gently. hehfuejfke. literally someone includes me into the group and treats me like a fucking human being and next thing u know#im planning our wedding basically –_– like im trying to distract myself from everything so i dont get too insane. like its a quieter insane#im less insane about love interests than i WAS but still pretty insane awhahwha. i am delusional<3 how fun#BITCH oh my god im delusional i need to be banned from thinking forever 😭 i am having so many thoughts fr my brain is soup#im obsessed but im not as obsessed as i COULD be. which is good? i guess#he just includes me in things which is nice:( i was thinking abt how he doesnt rly show affection to anyone at all. more specifically me#even if its just platonic. and i thought. would i be happy in a relationship like that? w someone who isnt obsessed with me#ans the truth is i have no idea<3#he isnt really an affectionate guy in general. (i am psychoanalyzing him) but he is warming up to my style of appreciation i think#i feel like im analzying a minecraft youtuber or something this is how fangirls talk augh
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koiibiito · 1 year
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pairing: neteyam x f!reader
length: 3.2k
tags — explicit smut, consensual for once, muscle worship, tummy bulge, size difference, mutual pining, desperation (on reader), post avatar: twow, aged up neteyam as always. literally no plot here.
a/n. relented and wrote a self-indulgent piece. bc men have failed me irl.
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Not often does something consume Neteyam’s thoughts as righteously as the lovely face that’s been on his mind.
Ever since that game that his dad taught them (some game called… beach volleyball?) a couple of fuzzy months back. The game that had him disappearing into the salty waters in order to hide his shame.
He’s one strong man. But that? That was almost too much to bear.
Neteyam attempted to wash away the desires. Let them float off, sink into the dark, deep depths of the endless ocean. Hoped the crushing realization that he was enamored, hard fallen into degenerate lust with a young lady that he very much wasn’t supposed to be loving in that way, carry away with the tide.
It was that villainous little sway of your hips when you walk. The way your cheeks hung out the bottom, wet, and stuck with sand. So cute you were, and yet such an immaculate woman.
It was how you were the most gorgeous thing at that beach. Even next to the far-reaching waters, and the majesty that was the great outdoors, you were still all he could focus on.
It was your soft, supple thighs clamped around his ears as he hoisted you up, giving you the ultimate volleyball advantage against the others.
“No fair!” He faintly registered as Lo’ak wasted no time in asking Tsireya to climb up on his shoulders as well, or how Rotxo offered his hand to Kiri which the latter took in assistance for her own shoulder ride. No, he was greatly distracted. It was as if his senses were muffled.
Tuk leapt up on Ao’nung without warning and grabbed onto his face, her fingers poking his eyes rather harshly, earning a loud yelp and some wild trashing from the Metkayina boy. Your body shook along with your laughter. Your wrap shifted just to the side, your sex rubbed against his neck. You swiftly adjusted, but it was just enough for him to feel wet, velvety lips.
Neteyam’s first fantasy? Swinging you around in order to get a taste.  
His desire for you hit him harder than the bullet that went through him during that fight on the ship. He never could recover.
“Neteyam!”
Shivers ran rapidly down Neteyam’s vast spine, yanking him out of his own head. Your voice never failed to do that to him. Lift his spirits. Make his steady hands shake. Make his chest puff up like a proud peacock. To him, your voice was like waves of comfort and oxytocin.
Instinctively, as if it was second nature by then. He flexed his ginormous muscles; veiled cheekily as a stretch with a loud hearty groan. He interlaced his fingers, palms faced away from him and held his arms out in front of him.    
“y/n!” he exclaimed. “You are late.”   
You face lit up with a grin. You tossed your satchel to the ground. “I am not!” You crossed your arms over your gorgeous chest.
That woven top was unfair on such a weak man like him, covering your breasts from his bare sight like it has a personal vendetta against him. Making them look so delectable. “You are the one who is early. As always.”
Working out, sparring sessions for Neteyam has always been an intricate important part of his life. Keeping his body strong and lean, even after moving away from the mountains and especially after the battle against Quaritch’s Team Blue. When you started expressing interest in working out with him, it lit a new fire under his feet; it coursed new passion through young na’vi’s veins. Working out in the morning didn’t seem so blase to him anymore; no longer a mere routine of his alone. 
Your audience almost motivates him more than his dad or the war ever did. The way your bright, wide eyes light up. The beautiful head-spinning grin you gift him with. And the sincere compliments you shower him with when he lifts hefty weights that very few other boys your age could even get an inch off of the ground. He needs far more room than the common man trying to gain a little muscle.
He may be young, but he’s got enough to flaunt. Got enough to keep your attention while you’re here (you hardly do any working out yourself, too busy ogling… or at least what he thinks–hopes–is ogling), and keep you coming back to spend quality time with him again and again.
Neteyam was no fool (maybe he was). Under no delusion that you were just being a sweet, dear friend. A good person giving her male friend the attention that most men would eat up and love. He did the same.
Ate it up, absorbed it. Kept it locked away in a personal little space in his mind where he took it back out and used all the adoration you laid on him to form fantasies. Ones where you’d return his twisted, perverse feelings.
You plopped down on the ground a few feet away from him. Got to stretching; all kinds of poses that would drive even the most chaste man insane. He is hard-focused on pumping his muscles. Kept in perfect form. Added more weight, did more reps. Watched you carefully, timidly. Too worried to stare for too long. Neteyam would ogle forever if he was allowed. His thirst was never quite quenched. 
Mother Eywa forbid if you figured out what a pervert he really was. The glorious, highly regarded, son of the former Toruk Makto.
All because you caught him, red-faced and half chub, gawking at the shapely curves of your body as you bent over to touch your toes. He’d be torn to shreds, defeated if all of your glow and shine, the admiration you have for him was replaced by disgust.
What a great dishonor that would be.  
The greatest reward, and the one way he knows he’s successfully shown off, is when you come to hang on his arms. It happened when he sat to take a break. You pounced on him. Took his stationary time a little more on your level to glide your hand across his broad valley of shoulders. Even sitting down he was still taller than you were standing.  
“I’ve seen these shoulders so many times and I’m still amazed,” you said. “How can any one be this strong?”
He was happy to sit still, let you pet and praise him like you have eyes for no other. Such sweet torture it is, being touched by you. Small, delicate, and soft hands. An erotic graze of your fingers over his bicep. Your sweet scent laced with potent florals.
All will be locked away in that little corner of his mind. Prime material for the fantasy he’d quickly build up and rub out during his shower.  
You gripped and squeezed each muscle along his arms. Traced the definition between them. “Flex for me, Neteyam.”
“Like this?” He curled his arm, held it directly in front of your face. The grin was immediate, the astounding reward.  
You shook your head from amazement. Unbelieving of what was right before your eyes. “So big!” you exclaim. You lightly graze your finger over a few veins that bulge and mumble, “Love the way these look.” A sudden frown took his smile away. Do you think that’s weird?
But then you drifted right back into rubbing and caressing his muscles. Neteyam found it necessary to shift. Lean forward. Cover his lap with one of his arms.
He closed his eyes. Soaked in every little touch. Didn’t let a single one escape him. Tried to memorize the patterns. Where your hands tended to roam more than others. His skin felt electric, buzzing. Could you feel that electricity too? Would you tear your hand away from a right old shock?
Internally, he begged his blood to stop boiling, his skin to cease the humming, his monstrous, inconspicuous cock to settle down, to keep the throbbing and the insistent growth against his forearm to a minimum. For a man who was so massive in every aspect: nearly nine feet tall, muscles big and heavy, and an inflated ego to match (though the time he spent since his arrival at Awa’atlu had taken him down a notch or two), you sure could make him feel light as a feather. On high and addicted to the feeling.
Suddenly, your lips meet his shoulder. Once. Quick; sweet. They were gone in an instant. But then they were back. Another quick, and sweet kiss. Like giving him a peck on the cheek before seeing him off.
Neteyam felt like he was slipping into one of his fantasies. Where that sweet, innocent kiss bled into more passionate ones, and those passionate kisses led to sinful coupling.
“Okay,” you said, clamped his shoulders in both your hands, “my turn.”
You rounded the bench faster than he could make words come out of his mouth. Faster than his brain could send the signal to his legs: get up! In slow motion he watched you. Watched his reputation with you shatter the moment that your round bottom met his stony lap, because there was simply no way you didn't feel it. Neteyam’s hands shook, frozen just next to your hips.
But then you didn’t move. Didn’t jump up and away from him like a girl trying to get away from a big, biting snake. Didn’t gasp or look back at him with disgust.
You settled back against his chest. “Well?” you said. “Go on, get started.” You looked back slightly over your shoulder, rolled your hips, ground down on his erection. He must have been dreaming.
It’s as if something inside you snapped open and fell to the wayside. You found the courage to look back at him. Sultry, low-lidded eyes and a look of uncertainty. “Should I get off?” you whispered.
Should you? Yes.
Did he want you to? No.
He shook his head; speechless and dumbfounded, it’d be a few more moments until he remembered how to speak.
You sighed and grinned. You were so relieved, leading him to believe that you too had been harboring feelings that were much in the same as his own. All of your flirtation wasn’t just a figment of his imagination after all; he is a fool.
Full of newfound glowing confidence you circled, picked up your gyrations. His hands finally found their way. He engulfed your shoulders, only putting a quarter of his strength into kneading, squeezing. You were so dainty and fragile compared to him. He could snap you like a twig if he wasn’t careful.
You spread your legs, hooked your feet under his own. Rolled your body in a gorgeous wave, applied more pressure against his throbbing, heavy cock. You craned your neck to look at him (to try and kill him, in his opinion). Glassy-eyed, drunk off the heat wafting from under his loin cloth. Quick, your lips crashed against his own, so much passion and pent-up frustration behind it you nearly knocked him off.
He forgot all about your tense shoulders, cupped your face in one big hand instead. Groped a breast with his other. You chased his lips with a sharp bite. Your languid tongue to sooth them, moaned so pretty it sounded like a sirens call.
He was so greedy, eager to see you. He tugged your top too harshly. It ripped, jarring to his ears, but you didn’t care. You kissed Neteyam with the hunger of a starved woman, fumbled with the marred remnants of the top that still clung onto your body. Didn’t detach yourself from him for a single moment.
Nothing could tear you two apart. Not even the lust keeping Neteyam’s imagination working on hyperdrive.  
As you part for air, he was gifted with the sight of the hardest little nipples he’s ever laid eyes on. The kind that tempts a man to pinch, to suck. The kind of breasts that beg to be lavished. Though, he could make them harder. He palmed both of your tits, rolling your nubs between his fingers. Pulled, tugged, pinched. A tight pinch made you gasp and moan through clenched teeth, detaching you from his mouth.
You panted, bit your lip. “That feels so good, Neteyam,” you crooned. Your pace picked up, ramped up to a speed that wound up so much friction your gyrating ass milked precum that stained the front of his cloth a little darker. “You’re so big,” you said with a happy sigh. “So, so big, I can feel your cock twitching. It’s getting harder.”
“Sweetheart, that’s what you do to me,” he whispered in your ear. 
You grabbed one of his hands and shoved them down between your legs. They gave way and made room for him easily. He had had his suspicions and was pleased to find you were without underwear wrapping underneath. His fingers slid over your mound and encapsulated your cunt. So impatient, you shoved his fingers between your slick lips. Juices squelched, seeped between his digits, hot and slippery. That’s what he does to you.
He pushed one big, thick, calloused finger into you, nice and smooth. You threw your head back. Rolled it back and forth along his shoulder, “Oh! Oh, my, Great Mother… I can’t believe this is happening…” Neither could he; he was prepared to wake up at any moment. You reached down between your own legs and cupped his dick. “I wanna see your cock, take it out, let me see it, let me see…”
Your desperation propelled him to move quickly. Neteyam lifted you up using the one hand hooked around your pussy, shoved any piece of clothing he had to his feet and plopped you back down on his bare lap. His cock stood tall, girthy, and proud between your legs. He felt smug as you gawked at it, reached out to touch. So engrossed, you were only taken aback when a second finger slipping inside of you, a loud, juicy moan fell out of your lips. He scissored you wide open, reaching deep. So soft, so pliable; you’d take him well.
Your hand barely wrapped around half of his girth. Regardless you stroked while he shoved a third finger inside. You were near uncontainable. Moaning, writhing, bouncing and fucking yourself on his fingers.
“Little bunny, you’re so wet,” he gruffed. “But I could stand to have you wetter.” He thumbed your clit gently, wanted to bring you to the brink of cumming, but didn’t want to shove you over it. He wasn’t privy to your sensitivity, maybe the gentle strokes would take you there anyway. Through your breathy moans and desperate whimpers, he figures you were already near the edge just by his fingers, especially three in and knuckle deep. 
You had enough with your real desire becoming ever messier in your hands. With a little of his help, you repositioned yourself, straddling his wide hips. Face to face. Your eyes burned bright with lust and need. His cock jerked at the sight of them, gushed precum.
He was reminded of his worry when it comes to you. So much smaller than him. The worry ramped up to higher levels. It’s you. You, the one and only na’vi he’s had his eyes on.
His intimidating cock lifted, then fell. Rested against your belly. Fully seated as you were, his dick was framed by your rib cage. It seemed an impossible thing for you to take, but you were determined, he could see it simmering in your glassy eyes.
Neteyam held fast to your waist. Holding you like this seemed unnatural and not because of the risk of ruining your friendship. His hand enclosed around your waist. Fingertips touching, while you nudged his girthy cock to the gash of your cunt. You were soaking wet, so hot, and he wasn’t even close to being inside of you yet.
You eased yourself down hard onto his cock. You stretched; opened and gripped him tight. Finally, he popped inside. You froze up. Eyes bulged, mouth agape, tongue twitching. You pulsed around the tip of his cock, trying to swallow him up.
No amount of careful fingering would ever completely take the edge off of the initial stretch of his cock, but it at least made the burn a pleasurable one. 
“S-slow down.” He was out of breath and stuttering. “You’ll hurt yourself, love.”
You shook your head. So stubborn and headstrong, reminding him of himself when he was younger and wildly foolish. “I wanna take it all.” You sunk down further. Groaned like an animal. Your thighs trembled, you clung to his large pecs as you came. Anchored in place. Coming undone from the mere stretch of your welcoming cunt. If not for the orgasm stopping you in your eager, impatient tracks you would have taken him all in in one, long drag.
You leaned back, he held you steady. “Look at you, pretty girl.” Placing two hands on your stomach, he brought your attention to the bulge protruding from your belly, just below your belly button. He bounced you languidly, gentle rises and falls. Pleased with taking things a little slower so you could watch the bulge gradually disappear and reappear. Such a lewd, grotesque sight had you gushing down his cock, quivering on the inside and outside.
“You’re so deep inside me…” You seemed unsure if you actually liked having him so buried deep. “Ooh,” you whimpered. “I can feel every, single, throb.”
Then it was Neteyam who was growing impatient and impulsive. Pressure welled in his stomach, coiled in the muscle of his arms. He gripped your waist with purpose and sunk you down a few extra inches to test, searched your face for a pained reaction and found nothing but a blissed out ‘o’.
You leaned back and braced yourself just above his knees and let him bounce you up and down, taking you down further each time until you were skin to skin, eyes fixed on his own. Mouth completely agape, expression dumbed out.
Even then, the guilty thoughts still tickled the forefront of his mind. This was unacceptable, who the hell told him it was okay to fuck his best friend? But then your pussy would flutter, your chest would shake with yet another orgasm. The nagging thoughts not just faded away but were aggressively pushed out of the way making way for… nothing.
Nothing but the primal desire to use your body to milk his balls dry. Surely nothing bad could ever feel this heavenly; the best fuck he’s ever had.
Neteyam lifted you off his cock just as he was cumming, painted your chest white with thick, milky ribbons. One healthy spurt after the other. Some reached up to your clavicles, spilled over your breasts, and rolled down your heaving midsection. He growled deep in his chest and moaned all the way through it, humped air until every last drop glistened on your sweaty skin. Beads of sweat rolled down his pecs, tickled his back. You’d both need to hit the showers.
You hummed and ran your fingers through the mess on your chest. “You’ve ruined me for any other man, Neteyam,” you gazed down at his softening cock, and your warm, sore pussy, “no one could ever fill me like that.”
“Good,” he said, and he meant it.
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a/n. (stepdad and stepbro content might stay unpublished? im rlly still debating. or i might post it on my other blog and keep this one relatively sfw ?_?)
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heartsfourdazai · 2 months
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Hey love, hope your all right. So Hoe about dazai with an s/o who always acts cheery and all childish like him in order to hide their immense trauma. So whenever someone scolds Them bit too loud reader flinches but again brushes it off?? ❤️
SRRY IS THIS TOO LIKE ANGSTY I RLLY AM CRAVING FOR HURT TO COMFORT RN----
You don't have to do it BTW ^^
"it's okay... to not feel happy all the time."
taglist : @justcallmesakira @riiwrites @silverbladexyz @atlasnessie
warnings : angst to comfort, lowercase writing, cursing, mention of past abuse, evil exes(heheh scott pilgrim), kunikida is SOOOO out of character holy shiiitttt (╥﹏╥) not proofread, sorry!!
HAII BABEEEE!!! consider your cravings feed!! i'm actually like this irl omg is that why i'm so excited to write this???? hope you enjoy
i love dazai so much :( my back hurts from slouchinggg i'll have back problems by the time i'm fricking twenty!!!!
osamu dazai x gn reader
dazai
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HEADCANONS ₊˚ෆ
you are so cute.
almost everyday is a new adventure for him when he's with you.
he's the first thing you see in the morning.
he opens his eyes and your all in his face like; "hi, sisters!!" and he literally shrieks, but don't tell anybody.
you start tickle fights with him all the time when you seem to be in an upset mood or just want to hear him laugh, but can you ever win?
he will play along with you because too be honest; he is just as childish as you are from time to time. ESPECIALLY when he's with you!!
you grab his arm a lot and jump up and down when something really gets you excited.
once, kunikida agreed to use his card to buy you some ice cream at the fair and you grabbed onto dazai's arm and almost slapped him in the face with his own hand.
he's never really understood why you get so like that over something so childish.
be glad it's not fyodor; SHEESH.
until, one evening.
you screwed up on a mission with atsushi; too which caused kunikida to throw his anger out on you. all the two of you were ordered to do, was to steal the documents you were ordered to retrieve in order to take down this small organization of scary gifted (not the port guys; •⤙•)
atsushi had to save you from a sudden attack, injuring him in the process, having no other choice but to retreat.
yosano treated him up right away.
atsushi noticed the way your arms would flinch up to your face each time kunikida would raise his voice, but honestly kunikida was just ranting about how stupid it was for you to get distracted over such a childish thing like a stray kitten.
he gave kunikida a look, saying to calm down and just go rage somewhere else without having you in the room.
after that you mentioned none of this to dazai; however atsushi thought telling him the way you reacted would be the right thing to do as both your friends.
SCENARIO ₊˚ෆ
"HOW can you be so careless, y/n?!"
it was almost like you felt a knife stab through your rib.
over and over for the past couple minutes kunikida has been going off about you getting distracted on the mission you and your weretiger friend, atsushi nakajima, were assigned on.
"i thought you would be perfect for this job because of how focused you were on all our other missions. WHAT HAPPENED?"
you gulped on your spit, your arms shalking from the once again booming voice come from kunikida.
it was a simple mistake-
"SIMPLE??"
atsushi side eyed you to see how you were holding as he was just awkwardly standing beside you as kunikida continued to just shout at you.
he would noticed your lips tremble ever so slightly, you head held down low as your fingers played with the fabric of your pants as you plucked up the courage to finally speak; "i'm sorry, kunikida. i didn't mean to screw up-"
"we'll, you wouldn't have to be sorry if you had just DONE YOUR JOB!"
your eyes were fixated on the floor still as you took in a deep breath, "jesus, i knew you were childish, but y/n what the fuck!?"
he swore.
atushsi was also getting a bit uncomfortable at kunikida's screaming session.
"atsushi got hurt on this mission, y/n, because you!"
without another word, you ran past atsushi who reached out t grab you back, however kunikida told him to let you go as he sat at his desk, removing his glasses, rubbing the bridge is nose.
with a frown he watched as you ran, looking at the carpeted floor to notice some tear stains following the exit.
you ran.
and ran, and ran, and ran.
into on coming traffic, past strangers who complained when you accidently bumped into them, and to yours and dazai's apartment.
there you were now. standing in the lobby of the apartment, the security guard awkwardly looking at you as you entered the elevator that has opened after a couple of seconds of waiting.
you used the mirror to look at yourself in as you quickly tried to wipe the tears away from your face, and maybe any makeup you may have had on? does it matter, it all melted away anyways!
your floor arrived, and the ding from the elevator dinged as you exit it and slowly walk toward the door of your home.
you fumbled for your keys that were in your pocket, even after all that running and bumping you did to get here, hands shaking with fear.
kunikida's voice echoed through your head; "are you really that childish? he never seemed to care...why does he have to shout?? there's no need for it, no? and even atsushi was there, double the embarrassment!!"
"'donna!?"
dazai's voice rang through your head as you looked up at him at the door step. oh, right, you unlocked the door but have yet to open it, causing osamu to do it for you.
"i thought you were at work, your shift doesn't end till..oh, well you still have 35 minutes?"
you pushed the thoughts in your head in the back of your mind, and gave him the biggest smile you could muster and hugged him, giggling and spinning around until you reached inside.
"don't worry, i just felt like coming home early to see my handsome and amazing boyfriend, who promised me ice cream waffles when i did get home!"
dazai chuckled, grabbing you by the waist and using his foot to close the door, managing to keep you in the air with one hand as he quickly used the other one to lock the door behind the two of you.
"well, i can tell someone's been excited all day?" you giggled, although your throat hurts from crying so much on the way here, dazai hadn't had seem to notice.
or so you think.
he placed you on the couch, gently kissing your lips before slowly pulling away. your eyes were still closed as he did and a smile on your face.
"feel free to choose whatever you like, my dear~" he taps the remote for the tv on your head and hands it to you; "well thank you kindly, my...man?"
he smiled at your cute comeback, causing you both to giggle as he walked to the kitchen.
you could hear him to rattle around with the toaster and opening and closing of fridges and freezers, probably for the ice cream.
when he was out of sight, you checked to feel anymore tears on your eyes and sniffled softly, not knowing dazai had already figured everything out.
"so, how was my sweethearts day, today? make any new friends?"
you chuckled, knowing he meant about the stray kittens you always seem to run to.
"it was alright, what about yours?" you tried to change the focus onto him, but he was smarter then that.
"mm, boring without my angel. day-off's are so sad without you," you heard the sound of the waffle popping out of the toaster, "didn't you have that mission today with atsushi? tell me, how did that go?
he expected the sudden silence that had filled the room. he scooped vanilla ice-cream into a small bowl for you; and only you, as he hummed.
"'donna, don't go quiet now. talk to me..."
you felt the tears roll back again. it was that voice that made you all emotional again. it was so soft and gentle, almost as if he's whispering into your when he's on the opposite of the room.
you took a shaky deep breath in as you stopped clicking the buttons on the remote, you stared at it, your hands shaking once again as you tried to control your crying.
dazai had a blank face was he added whip cream to top of the dish, and finally emerged from the kitchen...his eyes immediately on your figure which was seated on the couch, right where he left you, however your cute and childish personality wasn't.
he slowly walked over to you, his eyes drifting away from you to place the bowl on the table in front of you. you looked down to take a look at the dish; it was a waffle and ice cream scooped into it, like it's own bowl, and whip cream on the sides to give it the mountain shape, "you can do more then stare at it, ya'know?" he smiled, sitting beside you suddenly and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
you felt yourself suddenly start crying; to which he pouts at; "it was first mission, darling, there will always be more-"
"IT'S NOT ABOUT ME FAILING IT!"
he looked at you like wide eyes and nod; "something more?"
you sighed loudly and hugged yourself, "it's just-" you kept stuttering due to your lack of breath from your sobbing,
"take your time, it's alright." he gently scratches your scalp to sooth you.
"kunikida...gohot so mahad...he...he yelled, he swore at him, he got close to my face...ahand the..thehe thoughts..ihi..ihi could only thihink abouhut my ex...whoho would do the sahame when i screhw something uhup.."
although you kept sniffling and breathing hard through, dazai understood each and every word.
his hands moved to rub the back of your neck, as his other held your hand tightly as you cuddled into him, your tears staining his dress shirt.
"ihi...just got schahared...ihi just whanted to...to have you...buhut i didn't want to bohother you with my prohoblems.."
dazai couldn't believe was he was hearing.
you, giving him problems about your mental health? what are you, MAD?? no, just insecure. which he understood completely.
"may i?" he asks, taking your cheeks in his one palm, making you look at him. not knowing what you agreeing to, he suddenly pulls you in for a tender, soft kiss.
you almost forgot what his kisses felt like, all the memories of your ex made you almost forget you have found somebody new, who will never, ever, want to hurt you without having any sense of what he's talking about.
moments later, he pulled away, placing his forehead to yours's as tears spilled from your eyes; however these were the tears that brought joy and happiness to your relationship.
he was never good with the words of comfort, however this is the reason why he is learning to be better, for you.
"there are bad, bad people in this world, and sometimes they change, some don't. i would know, but that doesn't mean everyone has such an evil heart. like you.." he chuckled, poking your chest, "you have such a pure heart, only the kindest of souls could ever have a chance to ever get close to it and open up to it. kunikida is just a grumpy man, when things don't go as planned he just goes.."
dazai circled his finger by his temple, causing that adorable smile to appear on your face.
"oh, there's that smiiile~" he laughed as he suddenly dig his long fingers into your soft sides, causing you to squeal and laugh immediately, "theres that smile, yeaah, awh~ your so cute, i could just eat you up-"
"DAHAZAI!"
you screeched when he nibbles on your neck, now tickling your upper ribs as well.
all those nasty thoughts that were in the back of your mind, dazai has a way of taking them and tossing them out the window and making sure you go to sleep with that cute smile on your face every night.
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doberbutts · 1 month
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I think the terms TMA/TME work best when they're used as rules of thumb, rather than expected to function as strict categories. They're often helpful, but occasionally they can become obfuscatory, and there are edge cases where they can't be neatly applied. In those cases, they should be set aside, but with an understanding that they will be brought back into conversations when helpful.
To give a personal perspective - I'm a trans masc individual who has, upon occasion, experienced misdirected transmisogyny. I was on T for 5 years, then came off it (partly due to health problems, partly due to starting to identify as nonbinary rather than as a man) and began presenting in a more feminine manner, and people would regularly mistake me for a trans woman.
When people thought I was a trans woman, I did notice an increase in hostility, harassment and unwelcome advances from strangers. Groups of men would shout at me in the street, mothers would glare at me and physically pull their children further away from me if I came near. I also started getting catcalled and couldn't enjoy a night out in a club without being groped. I'd experienced some of these things as a trans man and as a girl, but probably never at such a high frequency or so intensely.
I definitely think I got a taste of transmisogyny and people do still assume I'm trans fem from time to time. But I still wouldn't describe myself as TMA. I don't shout it from the rooftops, but if it feels relevant in the context of a conversation, I will say I'm TME. Because I think the terms are about overarching dynamics, rather than whether or not an individual has ever faced a single instance of transmisogyny.
For me, there was always a sense of distance between myself and any negative experience, that came from knowing they'd misread my AGAB - "that lad just called me a chick with a dick! How funny! I'd be so lucky!" / "You're harassing me for using the female showers at the gym when I am literally menstruating. Are you going to stop being a creep, or do I have to show you my bloody tampon?" There's a degree to which I can sidestep or disavow their idea of me in a manner trans women can't.
I also don't know what it's like to deal with many other elements of transmisogyny, or deal with it as an overarching narrative in one's life rather than a freak episode.
I think it's fair to say I have at times been a grey area and I could use my experiences to argue against the validity of TME/TMA, but I don't want to do that. I don't like it when the terms are just used as a way to say AFAB/AMAB while being perceived as less problematic. But I think it is helpful to have little shorthand reminders about specific power dynamics that do have an impact in our communities. I have absolutely seen transmisogyny play out in queer spaces, both online and IRL, and I think it's worth having vocabulary that emphatically reminds people to check themselves and to not assume they don't have internalised bias against trans women just because they're trans masc.
Trans women are a boogeyman in popular culture and the collective unconscious in a way trans men never have been (at least, not to anything like the same extent). Trans women face an intensity of monstering that I think most people won't understand unless they spend a lot of time sharing space with and listening to trans women. The rapid adoption of TMA/TME feels like an attempt to fast-track that understanding en masse. Maybe it's a bit clumsy, but I do think it's having an impact and important conversations are happening. I don't know if the terms will stick or fall out of use. Having been in the trans community for over a decade and seeing how our vocabularies evolve, I'm inclined to think they'll stick around for a few years and then largely disappear. But I feel that while trans women are finding them useful, we need to be respectful of that fact.
Idk sorry to rant in your askbox, I wanted to give my two cents. Feel free to ignore lol
I'm going to be a bit blunt here: in the span of time I've been off tumblr to, you know, sleep... I've gotten 20 different asks trying to convince me to like the usage of tma/tme and also several transphobic asks about my top surgery. The transphobic ones I blocked and deleted because I'm literally 3 weeks out and will not be dissuaded. But I'm simply not willing to continue arguing a point I've made very clear that I don't love the usage of this particular theory the way it's currently being used.
You can like it for yourself. I have said this over and over again. I do not like it for me, and do not think it is accurate for my life or my experiences or the reality that is what I have to go through on a regular basis. True to everything else that I've posted, I don't really care what you call yourself. If you want to call yourself TME and you believe that framework works for your experience, more power to you. Just don't label me that, because I don't think it works for mine.
Trans women are absolutely a boogeyman in a way that trans men often aren't. That is, unfortunately, one of the ways that hypervisibility is such a curse. Everyone knows what a trans woman is, and a good majority of those people also think the only good one's a dead one. That's bad. That's transmisogyny, and we should ally with trans women to help fix this problem.
Also unfortunately, as trans men become more and more visible to the world, instead of facing mass erasure and dying in silence or escaping to live in stealth, trans men are also beginning to become a boogeyman as well. Now we are a social contagion, a craze, with rapid onset gender dysphoria, mutilating ourselves and ruining our precious bodies, carving out our wombs, simultaneously debasing ourselves and also becoming predators lurking to snatch daughters up and forcefeed them our ideology, betraying women by becoming a mockery of men. What's worse, we tend to politically close ranks with trans women and cis women alike so it's harder for transphobic lawmakers to divide and conquer as they're used to with cis men, so instead they have to demonize us to prevent any further allyship.
That's the conversation trans mascs are trying to have.
Genuinely, I do agree that trans women face an othering that most people do not grasp without understanding transmisogyny theory, which is why I think everyone should have at least a basic understanding of it. But I also think that's true of many other demographics, and that if we want to get out of the pit that bigoted society put us in, we've got to work together to do so. It was, after all, the combined efforts of Marsha P Johnson AND Storme de Laverie that brought us out in the open. And among me friend group, we have people from all different races and backgrounds and genders and more locking arms to ensure the safety of each other, wanting to understand and know each other, lifting each other up.
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yourdoseofapple · 15 days
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I think there should be a building game show for Minecraft. Like Lego Masters, most cooking shows, etc. Like listen. I think fighting is cool and all, and I myself was raised on watching bed wars and Minecraft hunger games and all that, but like also… builder are insane? Like I love watching, Empires, Hermitcraft, other big builders (and redstoners for that matter) because I’m so fascinated by how their brains work???? Like you’re telling me Bdubs took some dirt and made a literal mountain as a BACKDROP for his build in a season??????? Bro????? Like I want some builders to go head to head in a building challenge.
Like, okay hear me out, each week their “building themes” could go from mimicking IRL architecture styles - medieval, French colonial, minimalism, etc - OR could rely on game mechanics. Like you gotta make a build, but it must include five red stone functions - could be as simple of auto lighting and stuff - all the way to farms included into the make of the build!
Judging wise, I think that would be the hardest thing to pin down, because the issue with Minecraft building is that there are a lot of factors when it comes to the concept of building because every builder has an inherent “style” they have and so to compare isn’t necessarily fair???? Because what one person likes may not be the same as another person, so I don’t believe you can judge inherently on how a build looks, but more so if it fits the criteria - did you do your research and keep to the prompt 100% or did you take some liberties in the favor of making it seem stylistically “better” - also, while I am inclined to be like “hey look we could have it audience choice” I am aware that in previous Minecraft events - every tournament event live-streamed like ever - every YouTuber is gonna have bias on their side, and if there is someone with a larger viewership that others, there is of course going to be favor towards them. The ONLY way I could see this being different is if it was all pre-recorded and episodic, but I still believe there would be a heavy amount of bias if someone was on the show with more viewership than others. We would want it to be fair. I do think audience participation is important though, and should be a major inclusion! Like, before an event is to occur I think it would be fun to choose the prompt of what they’re building that week, but the contenders just can’t tweet/say/promote one they wish to do, so it is STRICTLY up to the audience without bias.
Also, I think everyone should come out a winner, not in the “No one came out on top because we are all equal” way - because while that is important it is still a tournament, and as we’ve seen in literally every competition show ever there is always a first place winner - but more so in the, while you didn’t win, let’s reflect on how you are still fantastic and getting something out of this. I know it sounds a little basic, so I do think it would need to be extrapolated on. But I wouldn’t want anyone who “loses” to just go away with “you got clout” award. You were featured on the show, that’s inherent, you deserve more than that, again this can be fleshed out later, but they deserve more too, somehow.
Also for the finalists - I’m thinking either 3 left or 2 left - it should be a mega build level prompt. Could be something like “build a city!” Or just “build a mega base with x block being the main block” and, again, not sure how it would be judged, but winner comes out, with second/third place having some reward as well, not as good, but still considerably great. I also think it would be fun to have prior contestants come on and have to participate in the “here is your block that I got to choose for you” to add some spice to it. IDK what the prize would be, I know it is normally money, and while it could be that, I think it would be more fun to have something a little different that would still be fun and a true “winners” item. Again, not sure what it could be, but it would need to hold to the truth of “oh, hey, this is a true prize and its still fun and I’m getting something out of this!”
Anyhow, enjoy the strange thoughts of my brain and if any streamers/youtubers are out there reading this, lemme know what you think cuz I’m curious. Do I think I could ever do this? Probably not cuz I’m an opera singer doing my masters so time is bet a dream to me at this point, but like. I think it is interesting and would love opinions on it just from the standpoint of discussion. I streamed at one point, maybe I’ll start back up again one day if only to have fun. I feel like that should be what it is, fun, that is the most important thing at the end of the day and builders should have some competitive fun too!
Also, I will admit that I am obviously not knowledgeable on everything - again opera singers not full time Minecraft anything - so I don’t know if something like this has been done before, and while I think it would be cool if something like this existed, it may already exist and I quite simply don’t know! Thoughts, opinions, anything else?
Anyway, if anything, have a good day!
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thefloatingstone · 2 months
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Hello
I am once again rambling about neat details in Mass Effect everybody already knew except me.
I was playing the ending of the Citadel DLC a while ago, the part where the Normandy is getting stolen, and because this is the only mission in the game you can have Wrex as a party member, of course I took him. However, due to some irl stuff I wasn't fully vibing with the mission. So after the irl stuff got sorted, I decided to replay it. I took Wrex along for most of the archive part of the mission, but when it came to rescuing the Normandy, for shits and giggles I took EDI with me because I wondered if she'd get any unique dialogue.
and it turns out she gets... a LOT of unique dialogue. Like a RIDICULOUS amount. So much so that from now on she's gonna be the default squaddie for this mission when I replay again.
The initial almost joke scene where she glitches out for a second before rebooting and going "I'M OK!" was great and honestly that's the most I was expecting for taking her along. But there's a bunch of other stuff too. They went so far as to make that little orange hologram she has flicker and die when her control of the Normandy is shut down (which she's greatly distressed by when it first happens). And the orange band remains gone the entire mission until she's given control back
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The mission running up to the Normandy and shooting Mercs has her basically screaming for blood the entire time which is probably the most emotion I've ever heard her give.
"I AM THE NORMANDY! AND I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"
Fuck yeah babe, you tell 'em!
But I also like the extra detail it adds. The Normandy DOES NOT WANT to be stolen. The Normandy ITSELF is like "FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!! NOBODY GETS TO STEAL ME BUT SHEPARD!!!" The Normandy ITSELF is outraged at this bullshit and the sheer fucking audacity.
When trying to open the airlock, Shepard actually asks EDI if she can do anything and she openly laments she has no control nor does she know what's going on. So much so Garrus has to give her moral support which I did not know he would do if you bring EDI.
Furthermore, when riding the elevator to the cargo hold, Garrus more or less asks EDI how she's holding up, and EDI comments she feels like she's walking around blind. Garrus gives further support and sympathy telling her then it's only fair she take some revenge on these assholes and EDI is very 🥺 about it.
When you do the final fight in the cargo bay, you can hear EDI raging every now and then, and one line hits me is her more or less screaming "You betrayed my crew! You violated my trust! You violated my body!! I am going to KILL ALL OF YOU!!" [paraphrasing] which is kind of horrifying for her and makes me feel even worse for her than I did already when I never took her along before.
Finally, after the fight, Shepard asks EDI if she's in control again which she does even if you didn't take EDI along, but when she's standing in front of you, not only does EDI confirm she's in control again, but she actually adds with a smile "thank you for asking".
THERE'S JUST A LOT OF EXTRA SHIT I NEVER KNEW ABOUT!!!!! THERE'S SO MUCH JUICY CONTENT AND IMPLICATIONS AND LAYERS HERE AND I JUST NEVER FUCKING KNEW ABOUT ANY OF IT BECAUSE I LIKE WREX TOO MUCH!!!
Anyway, those are my thoughts about this mission I'm sure literally everyone knew about back in 2013 except for me.
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tenderpreyy · 7 months
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​I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.
I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.
So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.
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trlvsn · 1 year
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something else i love about wrightworth is that they're not exactly the kind of "iconic partners in crime" duo who read each other's thoughts and act in perfect sync. they do fall into an energetically harmonious dynamic of sorts, but their roles, behaviors and thoughts remain entirely different, and that can never change, otherwise their relationship will have no point to it. they don't copy each other's moves: they are dancing a complicated dance and the roles have to be different for it to work. they are entirely separate beings that join forces for the result of a fair verdict, they combine rivalry and partnership fully understanding what they're doing, they work for the same result and believe in the same thing but they also try to achieve completely different results and have opposing ideas on how a case will go and who is guilty. god i wish gay people could be lawyers irl but alas ...
oh, and coming back to my first sentence, their understanding of what the other is thinking is. so weirdly circumstancial. like in court wright can be like "ha i know exactly what you're getting at but i have the evidence to disprove it before you even say anything" and when they're far from each other edgeworth can go "wow he is rubbing off on me why am i using his courtroom tactics" and they also had matching nightmares at a point in time but. when it gets 1% emotional or intimate they're the dumbest people alive and would explode if they tried to communicate properly. proving my point: unnecessary feelings line, turnabout goodbyes earthquake situation, bridge to the turnabout hug situation, the last jfa case in it's entirety being a mutual misunderstanding, literally any other moment because GOD they are awkward
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spenglernot · 4 months
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STORIES TELLING: HOW RECURRING MUSIC IN OFMD CAUSES MENTAL DEVASTATION IN THE VERY BEST WAY
How the Blackbeard theme, Gnossienne No. 5, and Voi Che Sapepte reveal, reinforce and recontextualize the narrative. An in-depth analysis of key scenes throughout seasons 1 and 2.
Much gratitude to pocket friends who were so encouraging and provided valuable feedback while I worked on this.
Meta by these authors (links, below the cut) influenced this video:
@asneakyfox, @asongaboutpirates, @bakasara, @doyoueverstopandthink, @chaotic-neutral-knitter, @forpiratereasons @fresne999 @gaypiratepropaganda, @jaskierx, @medievill, @mxmollusca, @piratecaptainscaptainpirates @veeagainsttheday, @57flagsofdeath
Gnossienne No. 5 doyoueverstopandthink - i will literally never get over about how fantastic the transition from robert schumann's "träumerei" to erik satie's "gnossiennes: no. 5" is
Voi Che Sapete asongaboutpirates - Another little detail about OFMD that makes me go feral
Transformation in OFMD fresne999 - Half way through the journey of our analyses mxmollusca - The transformation from object to subject, from something that has things done to it versus someone with agency.
Ed's & Izzy's Relationship asneakyfox - you have to understand i have always felt the key thing that makes blackhands interesting...
chaotic-neutral-knitter - Izzy telling Stede "I know you think you understand him," and Stede immediately describing Ed's emotional state perfectly accurately... gaypiratepropaganda - On Izzy saying "because of your feelings for Stede fucking Bonnet"
Ed's Arc veeagainsttheday - Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2
piratecaptainscaptainpirates - I've been thinking about how Ed starts directly killing people in s2e8 57flagsofdeath - Still thinking about this scene. Ed lights the fire place, puts a blanket on the floor to lay on, and puts the two cake toppers next to each other before rolling over and bursting into tears. asneakyfox - i've talked a fair bit about how i don't think "anger issues" is a very useful way to describe how the show frames ed's relationship with violence
Izzy's Arc bakasara - Trying to parse my thoughts on Izzy's death and why I had a different reaction to it than I thought I would. forpiratereasons - all right. i'm ready to talk about izzy.
Love & Relationships in OFMD jaskierx - posting some thoughts from the discord about how many 'irl relationship' things they're dealing with in ep7 and how much i am eating my mattress about it medievill - ofmd does not give a fuck about reality or history or anachronism but it draws the line at magic dick.
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My EACON3 post is finally here... with all my photos.
I'll skip the trip and go straight to the con because I fear it's going to be a long one. I am not going into details about the panels and other things that went on, but mainly about my interactions with the guests as that's what the con is about, right? I am also probably forgetting a bunch of stuff, so I might add things later if I recall them again, and here and there I may remember things in a different order.
The con started friday evening, I had won tickets to the game night and let me tell you I was terrified and not prepared. On top of that I was exhausted from the trip and had shitty medication side effects too because I had swapped meds earlier that week. Yes, fuck my life.
To make all THAT worse, while I was waiting in line to enter the game room I got texts from my friends who were at the cocktail party with the guests and they told me Arnas had long(er) hair and some facial hair. It was over for me before it started (IYKYK)
Luckily his facial hair was minimal and his hair wasn't long enough for me to go insane, but still, the tone was set and I avoided him like the fucking plague for real
Let me first say that I didn't expect Arnas to recognise me to be fair, as it had been like, what, half a year since we met in Germany? We had a brief interaction on insta a few days before eacon tho and that had made me a little anxious that he might remember me, but I did not want to be delusional so I kept telling myself he simply wouldn't remember me (haha....)
For the game I was in a team with Eliza, Stefanie and Ossian. Eliza is the life of the party and made everyone introduce themselves in our group. For some reason people always struggle with my name, so I had to repeat my name like 5 times and the entire group eventually shouted my name back at me to get it right, which the whole room could more or less hear, and behold; I looked up and saw Arnas glanced my way and then I just knew for sure that he now knew it was me (and I stressed out)
The game itself was hilarious, we played the card game Werewolves and Eliza was simply so much fun, Stefanie was more quiet but so sweet and Ossian… fucking hell, me and Ossian became rivals real fast. He kept saying he didn't trust me (in the game) and felt I was suspicious, which led to him turning the whole group against me and being cast out (which was part of the game). Eventually it turned out that he was completely wrong about my character in the game and, well, I casted him out the next round in revenge. We were going at each other, lovingly, and he was 100% the biggest surprise of the weekend for me by how cool he was and I became an instant fan of him because of his personality. 10/10, cool dude!
Random note: at some part during the game I heard Arnas laugh so hard in his own group while our group tried to concentrate and I struggled not to burst in laughter because of that and it was rough.
When the game was over, Christian and Harry stopped by every group for a brief chat and wow; Christian, beautiful man irl?! He also photobombed my group photo we took afterwards. 10/10, lovely dude! and Harry was HILARIOUS. Did not expect, another 10/10!
After the game I left the room and literally walked past Arnas without looking at him because I just couldn't??? I was so nervous because of the stupid jokes I made to him since Germany, I just couldn't face him for some reason and my meds side effects made me want to hide (constant flushed cheeks, it's awful, even when I'm shivering cold) however, I felt bad about avoiding him because I worried then maybe he wondered why I didn't say hi when we clearly "knew each other" so to say but, well, I went to bed and called it a night.
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Saturday morning was rough. I slept well, the meds side effects had lessened so I looked more decent (until later that day again ugh) and I had a selfie lounge ticket for 10am (that's no hour for selfies). I met up with @mrsarnasdelicious and we stuck together for the lounge.
James was the first to approach us, and he was incredibly lovely (and tall, wow). He asked us where we were from and was overall just super kind. We took a few photos and then he continued to the next people. 10/10!!
Then Stefanie came over and again, she is lovely and gooooooorgeous!! She told me she liked my dress as it had the shoulders cut out and she loved that it showed my tattoos. I can't remember what else we talked about unfortunately, but just know she was a pleasure to meet. 10/10, hope to meet her again!
Up next we had Mark! I was so excited to finally talk to him, because in Germany I only saw him during my duo photo op, and we couldn't really talk. I told him I was super excited about him being in the second season of Rogue Heroes and he was so enthusiastic I mentioned it that he rambled on about several things that happened on set when he was filming that season and my heart was so, so happy. I did truly have a hard time keeping up with him talking because of his accent. Mark also agreed that 10 in the morning was an ungodly hour for a selfie lounge and we felt both tired lmao. He's a whole 10/10!!
Eliza was next and she remembered me from the game night and I ended up telling her that I saw on her insta that she went to a Coldplay show in Sweden earlier that year, which I was supposed to go to as well, but I had to sell my tickets due to several reasons. We had a Coldplay fangirl moment and it was everything, I got to show her my several Coldplay tattoos as well and basically she's just a queen who hypes everyone up. Love her! We agreed that at the next Coldplay tour we'll be together at the show (I wish!) 10/10!!!!
Then we met Eysteinn!! My god!! No words. He is so sweet and shy and soft spoken, we absolutely vibed. We bonded over the fact that we both love to travel by train and really don't like travelling by plane. He loves to journal during his trips while I told him I love to read or just watch the scenery. Absolutely a blessing of a man! When I took our selfie I told him that I suck at taking selfies, and he said he has the same problem, so we just made the best of it together. 14/10, he's absolutely adorable.
The dreaded moment arrived…………… Arnas came up to us at this point and I had no chance of avoiding him anymore and all my bad jokes flashed before my eyes-
He greeted me with a happy 'Labas!' (Hi in Lithuanian) and he gave me a hug and I told him 'Laba diena' (good day) which he said was very good. Before I could say anything else he asked me where Danas was (long backstory to this, won't write that all here) I told him Danas did not want to join me to the con so he's back home. Arnas then went on a ramble about how he understood that, because he also wouldn't want to be in the same room with the guy his partner would have a crush on and also wondered why it's okay for women to have crushes, but boyfriends are not allowed to have crushes. I said 'I asked Danas several times who his crush is, but he always tells me he has none.'
Arnas was very pleased with himself here and said; 'haha, see, I totally tricked you into telling me I'm your crush, because I didn't know that.'
me: well *rolls eyes, lowkey shrug* (I believe at this point he "teased" @mrsarnasdelicious for a moment and girlie, you know you were rightfully flustered and it was cute, while I was left rather unphased by his remarks and I still believe that is why he began to rile you up hahaha)
Arnas then went on about the crushes problem in relationships and mentioned to me his gf would "not be happy" if he had a crush. He then somehow flipped the topic towards being obsessed with someone and I cut him off there saying; 'wow, but now you're implying I'm obsessed with you, and that is completely something else.'
Mans got put back in his place and apologised because he was totally blowing smoke up his own ass there (in his own words) and agreed that having a crush and being obsessed are two different things. And honestly the whole moment was chaotic and very surreal.
We also somehow ended up talking about other Lithuanian words and I told him I knew the word that means chicken, which he agreed was very important to know and we started saying 'chicken' in different languages, he then asked me what the French word was and we pondered for a second but I then remembered and it was rather wholesome and completely random????????
We finally got ready to take our selfie but then he wanted to record a video for Danas in Lithuanian. He started talking and I was like; 'what, no, I'm taking a photo?' He then said we could take a photo first but insisted on the video so yeah we made a video where he said some Lithuanian saying and yeah.. It was again very, very surreal. 10/10, still baffled he remembered me and Danas, who he has never met.
Up last we met Timothy and I told him I was very excited to meet him, because in Germany I was too broke to get a photo with him. We spoke about the German con and he said how surreal that con was because he had slept at the airport, arrived just in time, then at one point he went to the toilet and walked into William Shatner, which left him kinda starstruck, and he said 'it felt like I was in the upside down!' and then he apparently walked out of the toilets and walked into a Stranger Things cosplayer and he was about to lose his mind. Genuinely the most amazing anecdote of the weekend. Another 10/10!
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Later that day I had polaroid photo ops, one with Eysteinn and one with Arnas. Eysteinn was once again lovely and asked if we should just pose cool, and well, see the result below.
The polaroid with Arnas was chaos again. For some reason he likes to say 'Sanneeeeee' when he sees me (vocal stim? perhaps. also he never struggled with my name, bless) so he did that, but I was exhausted from the whole day and couldn't hide it anymore while he was still high energy. He gave me a hug as I said I was so tired and we then cursed in Dutch at the same time. I asked if he knew anything else in my language and he proceeded to say in Dutch; 'what do you want?' and this left me shook: 'sleep tight, hot thing' (roughly translated). James then asked what language we spoke, we said Dutch, which James thought was cool and he got ready to take the photo. I asked Arnas how we should pose and he went 'should we do the Lithuanian anthem or is that too much?' I jokingly agreed it was too much and we both placed our hand on our heart and James said he loved the pose and told us to hold it. See the result below!
The panels I went to throughout the day were fun and I also met several super lovely people during the day like @whitedarkmoonflower, @bubblyabs (we hung out most of the con and again, bless you!) and also I met @sihtricsafin!
Later that day I was getting an autograph from Arnas and gave him the letters and art some people had sent to me, which he absolutely loved at first quick glance, and he said that his favorite con moment is actually after the con where he goes through the stuff that people have given him. He randomly told me he liked my necklace and I told him I actually got in in Vilnius at a fair earlier that year and he liked that, then asked me which fair it was but I told him I didn't remember. We then spoke a bit about Vilnius in general and it was great. When he saw the keychain that @thalygremlinsson made him (a gremlin with his mismatched eyes) he said he'd put it on his keychain and he also told me a random story how a firework flew into his home when he was a kid while he was playing with a gremlin toy??? I also have no idea besties. Anyway, we got to take another selfie again and…
Speaking about my friend @sihtricsafin… we joined each other in the autograph line for Arnas, and she had bought a recording of her autograph and asked me to film it, which I did, and well, the problems between me and Arnas then began. His handwriting was brought up and he remembered I messaged him as a reply to his story months ago that I thought his writing has not good enough to get tattooed (lighthearted) he agreed then and wrote he was happy I hadn't tattooed it, but apparently he was still "bitter" about that and we got it all on tape.
Also we found out he has never seen Nightmare Before Christmas and did not know who Jack Skellington was after asking my friend about the skull on her beanie (it was Jack), he then jokingly said something like that they didn't have a tv in Lithuania when he was younger. 
Also found out he thinks Muse is a great band and he played Otherside by RHCP on his speaker at some point (bass player!Sihtric confirmed???)
Aaaand that was more or less the end of my saturday at the con!
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Sunday was rough. I was very tired from the days before but we pulled through. The day started with a group panel and later that day I had a photo op with Arnas.
Mans absolutely looked me up and down when I approached him at the op and ngl, I am not attracted to Arnas in real life (unless he has the SKMD/Masema haircut and the facial hair) but that split second 100% affected me and left me bewildered for a sec LMAO
I had no idea how to pose, and he said 'oh, classic, Sanne,' (someone was still petty (jk)) and then we both just posed as if we had no clue what to do, but it turned out to look like we are a married couple in the verge of a divorce and I love it
@whitedarkmoonflower gave me an autograph ticket for Mark (as I gave her two selfie tickets so we kinda swapped) and Mark gives great hugs btw! He signed my book but the marker fucked up so I got the cover and the inside page signed by him. bless.
Later that day I had a selfie with Christian and one with Harry because they weren't at the selfie lounge on saturday. Harry was so kind and I wished him good luck with all his future projects and he really really appreciated that. He's so sweet! When I took my photo with Christian he said 'oh, great camera! Or do we just look good because we are two beautiful people?'
Now, I usually ignore compliments bc I suck with them, but I just said 'both,' because in that moment we were just two beautiful people taking a selfie. He said he loved my skull tattoo and that he considered getting a skull tattoo himself (something along those lines) which was really cool???
I then went to Eysteinn to get my polaroid signed, and he said he liked the photo and that we looked like a death metal band. I said I'm up for that and told him I can play drums, he then told me he can play piano and I said we could make that work, to which he smiled (god… that smile). He loves to give hugs, so I got one, and it was great!!
Okay… so, very last minute I decided to get my polaroid with Arnas signed and it was a shit show (positive). It started with the fact he mentioned he didn't like the Beatles (he was playing his own music on speaker again) except for one song and he then looked at me and said 'or is it because I am a snob?' I shrugged and said 'perhaps.' Big mistake. He was "offended" and said he thought he was amongst friends here. I snapped back and told him I heard from my friends the day before that he told them that I trash talk about his handwriting to everyone (something like that). He got defensive and said it wasn't true blahblahblah, we both didn't give up and (lovingly) argued about it. He then finally signed my polaroid and messed up (obviously with that handwriting) and he said that it was my fault (man child) and wrote a petty ass message on the polaroid (toddler). We then told each other (more quietly) that he wasn't talking bad about me and I told him I knew that, but it was sweet of him to clear up that he truly never intended to make something sound bad and I in my turn told him I understood that, and there was this mutual understanding that everything was just a joke but that bickering was rather intense, and I think we both felt the need to make sure we both knew this was never serious, which truly made me love his personality even more.
We ended on good terms and a hug, I told him good evening in Lithuanian and then left. And with that, the con got to an end too.
When I got home the next evening I had only stepped through the door and received a dm from Arnas with a photo of the postcard I gave him, indicating he had read my message to him and it was honestly the most perfect way to end that entire weekend. The timing was insane and I shed a tear!
Well then… if you are still reading this, damn, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a post and here are the photos. also yes I know, I have like one selfie face, I already said I suck at selfies...
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taylortruther · 4 months
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(im sorry sometimes i just send you long asks about my opinions, but it’s because i feel like even if you disagree or think what im saying is dumb (for the lack of a better word), you would be nice and gentle about it haha. ignore me if you want!)
maybe the way i view celebs is “wrong” but i grew up in india, and i literally learned to never rely on them. they do and say the dumbest things, but no one bats an eye because it’s like “ofc this famous person said and did this.” in the same vein, i don’t rely on her to feel that im making a difference in society by calling her out. as for everyone always talking about expecting better from her, i literally don’t expect anything from her. i obviously recognize that her outreach is so very wide so of course i would love if she did say something and addressed certain things, but i have seen that she will not speak on issues pertaining to other countries and sticks to her lane with 3-5 major things in the US, so why would i expect her to speak about anything else? having followed her for so long, based on past, how could i and why would i? (this sounds unkind i think but i actually mean it in a kind way lmao). her speaking on things would just bring me personal peace that she did her part and that i support a good person, but beyond that, if i actually want change, why would i focus on her at alllll instead of focusing on an actual political figures? that’s time spent doing something that will result in nothing instead of something else (i realize this is extremely ironic because im typing this long ask and spending time on it 💀 i love being a hypocrite i guess)
instead of focusing any of my energy wanting her to do things she probably won’t do, i spend my time actually supporting things i believe in, and constantly having uncomfortable conversations with people around me. and the impact i have is actually very little compared to all that other people do, so instead i spend time feeling guilty about it and thinking what can i do? (that’s kinda a joke but also not a joke at all alkjgdgsj)
also, like im so in terms of how she and i are different. im a poc immigrant, and im extremely privileged in general, but compared to her it’s nothing. she is the biggest star in the world. no way our approach or thinking aligns. i feel like calling her out and constantly thinking about her “wrongs” just makes me feel conflicted about her. i don’t want to align myself with her politically and not because she is a conservative or something but because there are other people who are more sensible to align myself with. and it’s not that i don’t critically think about her, but that im being selfish and affording myself this luxury.
basically, all that word-jargon to say i love her music and i love her as a person and her traits very dearly, and the way she approaches political issues is something i used to be in gripes with but have accepted and come to terms with. and maybe i have cognitive dissonance and im actually blind to how evil she is because im a “cupcake” swiftie, but oh well. i guess i just have no morals then 😭
arshia i completely agree with you and imo this describes my own mentality about it really well. she does not represent me and frankly i do not really want her to try. of course, i wish she'd come out and say some shit like "MONEY FOR WAR BUT NOT FOR CITIZENS? CALL YOUR REPS AND SIT IN IN ALL THEIR OFFICES" fjdkasl but i'm not going to hold my breath. taylor's conscience is her own, i can't control it!
and if someone cannot stomach celebrities at all because of what they represent - FAIR! i turn off that part of my brain to be on here, because this is my fun lil hobby. and i think i am making more of an impact irl than i ever could on here. although, if anyone learns anything about their own politics through my blog, i consider that a win.
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mullettaegi · 29 days
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incoming: another fucking voltron rant because i watched a langst edit and now i wanna cry😭😭
they did not take time. they did not slow that show down for a little bit. especially for lance. cause he did not getting a fucking moment to find himself again after he FUCKING DIED. we saw him homesick, we saw him missing his family, we saw him insecure about his position on the team, we saw him insecure about himself, but we never actually saw him go anywhere else but being sad. he really did get barely any character development.
and tbh i feel like in a way just all the characters didnt have a moment to slow down. and i know, i know, its a kids show, its about fucking robots for fucks sake, theyre in the middle of a war. which, yeah. youre right. but there couldve been so much more, for him, for all of them. what about them? as people, with feelings. where are there emotions. why is it only sadness and happiness and not the enitre confusing spectrum of emotion between. does pidge not feel lost after she finds her brother? yeah, hes back, but i bet she didnt imagine she would be fighting an intergalactic war, and now matt is too. she imagined family dinner, brother barging into her room, dad making corny jokes, house happier and full of life.
hunks family was put in a fucking work camp. he had seen this across the galaxy, zarkons army imprisoning people, making them work, killing them. did he imagine that for earth ? did he imagine that for his family? how the fuck did he cope fighting a war, anxious as he is? how did he cope at all?
shiro isnt even in his fucking original body. thats fucking weird. im not saying that in a rude way bc like yeah, organ transplants are a thing irl, and a major life saving thing they are ! but like, how odd it must be to have someone elses kidney or heart in your body. nevermind to have your entire soul and conciousness put into another body, you but not really you.
keiths life,,, dude probably just doesnt even give anything a second fucking thought anymore. but like, could they not have shown him showing some more emotion. fair enough if he doesnt always cry in the moment but rather late on, but you'd think seeing allura die, they wouldve at least put some tears in his eyes. he had fucking no one before he had voltron. only shiro, and even then he was alone for so long when shiro had been on his mission. you cant tell me he didnt want to think of voltron as his family. they bonded :(
and lance, gosh lance. i feel like, if we looks at this as it is, lance would be the character that people think back on and go "oh yeah, he helped me accept my emotions, he helped me become the best version of me and gain confidence in who i am". in the fandom hes seen as someone with big emotions that he wears on his sleeve, but also someone who will put everyone else and their needs before himself.
he's a story of self-sacrifice, quite literally. he's the story of sincere love, of casual admiration. he's the story of the most wonderful friend, of loyalty, of no, I'll step down because there's a cause bigger than me, and im not the one for the job when there's people like my friends and you on the team.
and no one wanted to explore that? no one wanted to see him do more than just, what? flirt and literally die and fall in love and barely find his place on team voltron? that was it for him. it shouldn't have been, but it was.
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neechees · 1 year
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I searched through your blog to see if you've answered a question like this before - if you have I missed it so sorry if I'm making you repeat yourself ^^
Are there things you see in Indigenous characters in media that you wish were less common ? What about things you want to see more in Indigenous characters in media ?
I dont think I have actually so you're fine! :)
So this is just my opinion obvi & some ppl might not agree with everything below, but here are some tropes or really common devices I see in Indigenous characters I hate and/or would like to see less of:
Interracial relationships but ONLY White person/Native person. I don't think this should stop or not be portrayed at all, but at this point it feels like we have more interracial relationships featuring a white person than we actually do depicting relationships between even Native people with each other. ESPECIALLY NATIVE WOMEN PAIRED WITH A WHITE MAN. God I am so sick of it, please give us Native/poc & Native/Native relationships for once, I promise it happens irl
That trope where a White person joins a Native tribe & essentially becomes one of them. For similar reasons as above, and again I don't think this portrayal should stop 100% & it's not necessarily "bad", but I'd like to see more diversity or a different approach to it. It seems like most of these are inspired by historical accounts of this happening irl, but most aren't historical depictions of actual historical people, which I actually WOULD like to see (White or not) more of, instead of just fiction. Also just kinda seems like wish fulfillment with White audiences who have a fetishization of Native people sometimes. Maybe I also hate it so much since it very often goes in with the white savior narrative too
Native women being brutalized on screen, oh my god. Seeing this over & over as a Native woman is literally so retraumatizing. A lot of times it gets to torture porn or voyeuristic, & wasn't even necessary to begin with. I don't care if it's to show how "bad" things are for us, I know, show it some other way.
White ppl making shit off of our Spirits & legends. Just leave us alone. They never get it right.
Just a lot of Native tropes in general because they're overdone. The Noble savage? Indian burial ground? Booooring. Unoriginal. Lazy.
Things I want to see MORE of:
This is just me because I LOVE history, but more historical Native settings BUT, set during Pre-colonization & precolombus. So many historic films about us are during colonization & being persecuted, & I think this is why so many Native people hate films with ndns set in history (in addition to making it seem like we ONLY exist in the past, which is fair), & other than that, makes it seem like our history begins & ends with being colonized
More badass Native ladies. I wanna see Native women who are femme fatales, wrestlers, assassins, martial artists, warriors, gunslingers, athletes, the works. I wanna see untouchable, dangerous Native women.
More fantasy & horror stuff I'm begging, I'm on my knees
The list for what we should STOP seeing in Native characters is honestly shorter because of 1. how severely underrepresented we are, and 2. Where we DO have rep has a lot of tropes that are very very overdone & constantly reuses those tropes, (besides the much lesser known, obscure stuff made by us for us, which isn't as high in number by comparison) so like the list for what we SHOULD try is literally so big I'll just end it here
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raikasueta · 2 months
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I tend to think that The Prototype is using a child’s voice to appeal to the mc as Ollie. First of all, what is a literal child doing in the factory ten years after it has been shut down? Especially with all those monsters roaming around? And the voice mimic gimmick works with that. Also, Ollie says some things that just don’t work with my idea of how a child is supposed to talk.
“I don’t want you to get killed” sounds kinda weird, as if his sentences were AI generated or as if English isn’t his first language. We have seen Miss Delight and Poppy speak, and they’re dolls, and they still speak quite alright! But then again, we have heard 1006 speak in the tape number 12 and he really sounds like that AM robot from the horror book. “I possess a question” rather than “I’ve got a question”, as any other person would say irl. He’s a bot for sure, but still:
I think that The Prototype might be a mix of several different people who were related to factory. He’s collecting parts of the toys, not caring if they’re hostile to him like Kissy Missy or if they’re actively working to please him like Catnap. Also, the skeletal remains in Catnap’s shrine are indeed of a grown adult. It isn’t like he had no access to kids’ bodies in the Playcare after the Hour Of Joy. I think it’s only fair if the main part - the “brain” of 1006 is Elliot Ludwig. We know him as this engineer, a grown and probably an old man who presumably loved children and had an impact on them through his toys. The reason why he cannot speak properly like other toys is most likely due to his incomplete nature.
If I had to guess what happens in the next chapter, I feel like it’s going to be a major showdown with a hell load of Ludwig’s lore thrown at us. And maybe the way we defeat The Prototype is somehow resembling the Azriel Dreemurr fight from Undertale, with us calling out for different parts of him and basically tearing the parts of him apart.
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the-fiction-witch · 2 months
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Really?
Media IRL
Character Thomas Brodie Sangster
Couple Thomas X Reader
Rating Flirty
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I rushed around like a headless chicken in the utter chaos of the last few days, everything had so suddenly changed, I wasn't sure if it was true or not but still it's not like we had much of a choice. We were being forced to evacuate, for how long I'm not sure, where we were to go I'm not sure, But this seemed to be a real situation. Even if everyone seemed to be treating it like the literal end of the world.
I checked our bags ready to go making sure we had all we needed when I stopped as my hand me a familiar feeling of cold and silvery plastic. 
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Thomas?"
"Yep?" he asks as he returns from the bathroom with the stuff we would need from in there,
"Really?" I asked, 
"What?"
"Really?" I repeated as I pulled out a handful of condoms, "Really!?" I asked, "We are being forced to leave our home for our own safety and this is what you thought to pack?"
"Yeah?"
"REALLY!"
"Yeah. always good to be prepared."
"Prepared?" I glared, "We are in an apocalyptic situation right now and time is very much not on our side and THIS is what you decided to use your precious time to pack? do you honestly, HONESTLY Really think as we evacuate our home, flee across the city, possibly the country, possibly the country, for who knows how long, and to what end, we will have time, let alone be in the mood to be having sex?"
He glared and crossed his arms, "Are you really trying to tell me when they give us the all clear, which I am sure they are going to in like a couple of days when this dies down, and we suddenly find out we are happy, and safe, and everything is okay, we won't be thrilled with joy and adrenaline, and want to celebrate the fact we survived what is being labelled as a legitimate apocalypse with a shag?"
"God damn it." I sighed,
"yeah. See. cause you know I'm right." he said kissing my temple and carrying on with his packing, 
"Just because you have a point does not make you right."
"Yes, it does."
"No, it doesn't"
"It really does babe." He laughed, "Besides they have other uses."
"Oh? go on then?"
".... waterproofing things. latex is very waterproof."
"Okay, that's a decent justification. what other uses?"
"If you don't have rubber gloves? but need to touch something gross. It's like a latex glove its sanitary."
"Okay, any more?"
"... No I think that's all I have, that and I'm convinced the one in my wallet might be good luck at this point." 
"Good luck?"
"I'll I'm saying is good stuff happens when I have it in my wallet, bad stuff happens when I don't."
"Really? What kinda bad stuff has happened when you didn't have it in your wallet?"
"Three muggings, two stolen motorbikes, and that girl who tried to pull out my teeth on a first date." 
"Fair enough, and good things when you've had it?"
"Four of my best paying and recognized roles, that lottery ticket I found on the floor for five hundred pounds, and literally coming across this house for sale by chance on my walk," he shrugged, "Plus I had it in my wallet the day I met you." He smiled kissing my head, 
"H-How long have you been carrying it around?"
"... I do not remember."
"It has to be out of date by now?"
"Ohh it is. I have no intention of using it I'm mostly just afraid what will happen if I throw it away."
"Whatever, fine we will take them. But we are not having sex."
"We'll see." he winked, 
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