For the person that requested a mini-fic of Joel feeding his family. Once again I'm incapable of sticking to a short format 😊
Featuring: softness, cooking, some Joel whump, the Dynamic Duo of Ellie and Tommy, cuddling, Joel being taken care of, and a Miller Williams sandwich.
— — —
“Go on, get some rest. I got ‘em.”
Tommy mumbles something but he’s already laying down, following Joel’s guiding hand on his shoulder. Ellie grabs a blanket and drapes it over Tommy. Joel thanks her with a kiss on her head and then he’s off to the kitchen. Ellie lingers, touching the pen in her pocket, wondering if she has enough time to draw something on Tommy before Joel notices she didn't follow him—
“Ellie.”
Ellie rolls her eyes and leaves Tommy to sleep, going to the kitchen where Joel has strapped the twins into their high chairs.
“You got x-ray vision old man?”
“Yeah. Comes with bein’ a parent,” Joel gives her a conspiratory grin and nods towards a drawer, “‘sides, Maria’s got some permanent markers in there.”
Ellie giggles. She watches Joel feed the twins, hands steady and gentle with each spoonful.
“You wanna help?”
Ellie steps up, trepidation humming in her chest. She’s never had cousins and she doesn’t want to fuck it up. But she copies Joel’s every move and soon Leon is happily eating from the spoon she lifts to his mouth.
— — —
Ellie watches Joel cook, her notebook spread out on one corner of the kitchen island she and Joel built together. He’s making chicken, quinoa, and green onion croquettes, shaping them into fat ovals by hand. As she brainstorms ideas for the school science fair, she idly traces the J.M. and E.W.M. she and Joel carved on the butcher block prior to sealing the wood. She loves evenings like these, where they can both do their thing in close proximity, sharing each other’s presence.
There’s a series of knocks at the door; two quick raps followed by a long one. Tommy strolls into the kitchen seconds later, dropping a kiss on Ellie’s head in greeting. Most of the time he stops by a few minutes before dinner just to mess with Joel — he’ll flick the lights, untie Joel’s apron, slide the spice jars just a few inches out of reach. Today he has eyes only for the freshly fried croquettes.
“Smells good hermano. Gimme a taste?”
Joel breaks a piece off one croquette and pops it into Tommy’s mouth. Ellie laughs, curious, amused,
“Gotta get fed like a baby Tommy?”
Tommy just grins at her, not the least bit embarrassed. “No need to be a jealous jelly just cause I got to try some and you didn’t.”
Ellie deliberately reaches over and plucks a croquette off the drying rack and stuffs it into her mouth. Tommy laughs.
“Alright, go wash up you two,” Joel interrupts, turning to fry up the last of the food, “Maria’ll by soon and we can eat.”
Tommy makes sure to lean towards Joel’s good ear before he loudly says, “Yes chef!”
— — —
The thing is, maybe Ellie is a little jealous. She watches Joel feed Tommy and vice versa a few more times over the following weeks. Neither man makes a big deal out of it and she infers that the action has nothing to do with age or ability but everything to do with familiarity, intimacy, love. Culture too, she knows, from subtly questioning Maria. And, she reasons, the five years between them would’ve made Joel old enough to help feed Tommy as a toddler. Still, she can’t help but feel a little left out.
But as amazing as Joel is, he’s not a mind reader. So if she wants in on this particular Miller custom, she’s going to have to ask for it.
She works up the courage on a warm Saturday afternoon when Joel is making her favorite — empanadas. She doesn’t even pretend to read her book, joining in on the preparation instead, which never fails to make Joel smile. She waits until he’s fried the second batch and the first has cooled and drained enough to be ready. Then she nudges him, looks up at him, and borrows Tommy’s words,
“Give me a taste?”
Joel’s eyes are suspiciously shiny as he breaks a piece off an empanada and feeds it to her.
— — —
It becomes almost unconscious as the days and weeks go by. Ellie and Tommy turn it into a competition, where they encourage Joel to throw bits of food up into the air so they can catch it in their mouths. Joel resists at first, warning them they’re gonna choke, but he gives in to their combined pressure.
There’s a point too, when Ellie is helping Tommy in his garden, that she asks him for a taste of the fresh grape tomatoes they’ve just picked and rinsed. Tommy obliges with the same awestruck look Joel had the first time and Ellie calls him dramatic as she wraps him in a hug.
— — —
Ellie wakes to the sound of the shower running, which wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t two in the morning. She’s up and out of bed in an instant, warning bells going off in her head. Light spills out from under the bathroom door, bright in the dark hallway. She knocks on the door.
“Joel?”
No response. She gives it a couple of seconds before she opens the door only to be greeted by thick, warm steam. Joel’s sitting on the edge of the tub, massaging the sides of his head along his sinuses. His hands are shaking.
Ellie does her best to swallow her worry.
“It’s a little early for a sauna experience isn’t it?”
Joel finally notices her. He looks tired and scared. Ellie immediately closes the space between them and puts her hands on his shoulders, making sure he really is present and seeing her before she moves them up to cradle his cheeks. He’s warm, even more than could be explained by sitting in the small bathroom with the hot water running.
A flu’s been going around Jackson, taking people down left and right. It seems like it finally caught up to Joel. Ellie winces, guilt sour in her stomach — she’d had it last week, had she given it to him?
“’M alright baby girl. Go back to bed.”
Joel had taken care of her day and night, made her his mom’s caldo de pollo, a delicious soup that had been the only thing she’d been able to stomach. Like hell is she leaving him to his own devices now.
“You’re way too smart to think I’m just leaving you like this.”
“Ellie—”
“I’ll be right back okay?”
And before he can argue any further, she plants a kiss on his forehead and rushes out of the bathroom.
Getting Tommy is easy. Since becoming a father he's been a light sleeper and he answers his door well before Ellie thinks to use her spare key to go inside and wake him. He follows her back to her and Joel’s place, getting ahead of her on the stairs due to his longer stride. He gets Joel up with some fuss and Ellie leaves them to it when Tommy announces Joel’s damp pajamas have to go.
Ellie heads back downstairs and beelines straight to the fridge. Thankfully, there’s still some caldo left. She pours the soup into a saucepan and starts heating it on the stove.
Tommy comes downstairs about fifteen minutes later, exasperation and sadness on his face. For a moment it looks like he's debating what to tell her but a fierce glare from her gets him to spill the full story. How Joel had been feeling off the last couple of days (which they both know is likely an underestimation) and how he'd woken in the middle of the night feeling so horribly congested he’d thought he’d lost his hearing entirely.
Ellie wonders how long he sat there feeling terrified and finds her hands curling into fists. Anger is easier to hold onto than heartbreak.
“Why couldn’t he just say he was feeling like shit?” She asks.
“It’s got nothin’ to do with us, Ellie.” Tommy answers, cutting through to what she really wants to know in that way she always finds annoying, “He’s had to carry a lot on his shoulders. A lot to swallow up and go through alone. Long before you came along and before I was old enough to notice. It ain’t fair to any of us, him included, but we can help him see there’s a better way of doing things now.”
Ellie takes this in. It makes sense, but she doesn't have to like it.
“So are you saving your lecture for when he gets better? Cause I have a bunch of things I want to add.”
“Oh yeah, he’s in for a good one, don’t you worry. I’m gonna use his full name too, just like our mama used to.”
Tommy pulls her into a hug and Ellie squeezes tight, hoping it gets across how desperately grateful she is he’s there and taking care of Joel isn't all on her. Tommy drops a kiss on her head.
They go back upstairs, Ellie carrying Joel’s favorite soup mug with the hot caldo and Tommy holding a glass of orange juice.
Joel is in his bed, hair fluffy from running a towel through it. To Ellie’s relief, he’s entirely alert and looking much better. Good enough to at least appear sheepish, if not a little embarrassed at what he no doubt thinks is excessive fussing on their part.
“Alright, you got two choices now — caldo or OJ.”
“And I don’t mind spoon feeding you,” Ellie adds, squaring up next to Tommy, “I have plenty of practice.”
Joel’s eyes narrow, “Since when’d you two get so chummy?”
“Carin’ for the same idiot brings people together like you wouldn’t believe.”
Joel realizes he’s fighting a losing battle. “Fine. Gimme the soup.”
Ellie passes over the mug. Joel makes it through most of it before he holds it back out to her, too tired to continue. Ellie sets it on the nightstand before flopping onto the bed to the right of him, making it clear she has no intention of leaving. Joel just rolls his eyes but he can’t hide his smile as he settles in around her like usual.
Tommy turns off the lamp but he makes no move to leave. Instead, he pushes at Joel's shoulder.
“Scoot over.”
“Tommy, what the hell—”
Tommy simply makes space for himself on Joel’s left while Ellie tries to muffle her laughter against the pillow.
“Tommy you got someone to cuddle with. She’s probably waitin’ for you. In your own damn house.”
“And miss this chance to be the big spoon? No way. Now hush up and enjoy your time in this wonderful Miller Williams sandwich.”
Joel grumbles some more but he makes no move to escape them.
“Hey Tommy, why didn’t the sick person get the joke?”
“Why?”
“Because it flu over his head.”
Tommy chuckles.
“Hey Ellie.”
“Yeah?”
“I too have a joke about the flu. But I hope you don’t get it.”
Ellie and Tommy laugh together. Joel holds out for a few more seconds before he joins in.
"Jesus you two are a goddamn menace."
"You wouldn't have it any other way, big brother."
Joel pulls both of them closer. "Damn straight."
Ellie can’t help herself, "Hey. I'm right here."
And that sets them all off again.
225 notes
·
View notes
I can’t stop thinking about...
How every single group of people shown to us in the show adaptation of TLOU - excluding Jackson - has adopted one if not more of the methods for control used by FEDRA that they all deemed to be so horrific. It’s just another way that this series plays with the themes of justification and morality and power, and another reason why this show works as well as it does on so many levels. Putting my rambles under the cut to save anyone from spoilers:
In Kansas City, Kathleen promises her prisoners a trial, and then gives the command to have them executed without one. She also gives the order to have Perry burn the bodies instead of bury them, because its “faster”. We see both public executions and body burning in the Boston QZ, so this is straight out of FEDRAs playbook, which isn’t surprising considering how little time has passed since the rebel group took control of the city. But as an outsider, it’s hard to say “the good guys” won there, because those “good guys” immediately defaulted to the same things and actions that they rebelled over.
In Silver Lake, David tries to dangle the promise of success and power in front of Ellie, just like the FEDRA officer did when he told her that one day she could be in charge. (I could write a whole dissertation on how extraordinarily fucked up and manipulative David is - DO NOT even get me started on the “violent heart” discussion - but for now I’m just going to talk about power dynamics. He’s very much one of those “this would all fall apart without me” kind of leaders, which diminishes the lives and contributions of the people in his group - just like FEDRA officers look at themselves as the heroes for keeping “order” (if you can call it that) despite the fact that it is the QZ citizens who do all of the actual work. It’s narcissism, and that never works as an effective leadership method.
In Salt Lake, Marlene and the Fireflies pull the exact same shit with Ellie as the FEDRA officers do with that kid that wanders into the QZ. They tell that kid that everything will be fine, that they’ll get to have a treat and a toy and all will be well, when in reality they’re going to kill him. (Yes, I understand the child was infected and there was likely nothing to be done and termination was the “safest” way to control the spread of infection. I am highlighting the act of lying - and to an extent, handwashing - here.) This is the same thing that happens when Ellie shows up at the hospital. Marlene tells her that Joel will be fine, that she can see him after. She doesn’t tell her the truth or give her a choice. She lies so that she can force things to go her/their way, and, I think, to pat herself on the back for doing a good job of not scaring Ellie. (Again, I could go OFFFFFFFFF about Marlene in general but that would be a tangent all its own.)
Jackson is the only settlement that we’ve seen that isn’t employing FEDRA techniques, and its no surprise that its the only one that is thriving. And if only 1/4 groups of people is able to keep from immediately turning ugly, then... well, I already agree with what Joel did, but this statistic only makes me agree with him more in that I’m not sure that world is worth saving either.
27 notes
·
View notes
The way I see it, Joel never believed there would be a cure. Even in this ep, he suggested they just go back to him brother.
He never cared about the world, the only reason he kept going was "for family," as he said, and Ellie's his family. She became his family as soon as they met, but now he's accepted it, and fully let her in.
And then, just when it feels like he's himself again, like everything might be alright, after years of greiving for his daughter and feeling like nothing is worth it anymore, he learns that he has to let these people cut open said daughter to TRY to make a cure out of her brain.
Everything Marlene said was with an "if", and "what if". The doctor THINKS the cordyceps mutated in her brain a certain way, he THINKS he MIGHT be able to use her to make a vaccine that MIGHT act the same way for other people, rendering them immune
And so, to Joel, his choice his clear.
He never wanted to save the world. But for ONCE, for once in his life, he had the ability to save his.
He failed so many times. With Sarah, with Tess...
But he could save Ellie.
So he did.
He's done so many horrible things during the apocalypse, but this was the one thing he'd never regret, because it meant Ellie would live, even if she ended up hating him. She'd still be alive. And that's all he wants.
That's all he cares about.
13 notes
·
View notes