#tips on how to suck on deez nuts

[olicutterartorsmt]

harvey fan?? and also into ow?? that's so cool ‼️ you should totally just ramble about harvey (either headcanons or just whatever) because i love hearing what others have to say about the silly guy. please ignore how empty my main is i never post on here other than on my goofy sideblogs n that's it 😭 but i hope you're also having a good day!

Hello! I can totally rant about Harvey as he is my favorite little goober.

Also I’m very sorry if this comes out very randomly I’m not that good of a writer

Height: 6”2

Sexuality: pansexual, acespec, polyamorous

Gender: trans masc (he/they)

I’ve played sdv for about 505 hours at least and like I’ve married Harvey I think 4ish times here are my hcs!

I feel like him and Shane would have been friends when they were like 6-14 until Shane’s parents stop letting him visit the valley. When Shane goes on his ark I feel like Harvey would help him with his gender transition (I also hc Shane as trans masc lolz) which not getting gender affirming care would rlly affect his mental health. When Harvey was younger I could totally see him being super into Pokémon spending most of his time on it. Rlly weird hc I may be just self projecting but I feel like he would have been a Warriors kid trying to get Elliott into the books when they were younger. I do ship Shane and Harvey. Harvey would just suck at any type of video game. He would bleach the tips of his hair to look younger (it doesn’t work to well)

I hc his voice as three different voices: early transition I feel like he would sound like raggedy Andy from that one 1970s movie and then after his transition I feel like his voice would either settle as a John Mulaney type voice or he would just sound like the main singer for they might be giants. (Which I think fits him more)

He listens to Jack Stauber after Sam introduces it to him, his favorite songs from him would be buttercup, Doctor, and dinner is not over so basically only the rlly happy upbeat songs

Songs I immediately associate with him are Love grows, Doctor worm, Dinner bell, and Good old-fashioned lover boy

He would kinda hate PDA anything more than a hug, holding hands, or a cheek kiss he doesn’t like as he fears it may make him look unprofessional.

He is a victim of deez nuts jokes

He’s my lil goober with social anxiety and autism

His autumn outfit would consist of a baggy sweater with a beanie and gloves

Winter outfit would have a puffy jacket with a scarf covering his mouth/nose he would force Shane into wearing a coat

He would be the best father if he had kids

Shane convinced Harvey to smoke weed with him once and he immediately greened out lmao

He loves to cuddle with whoever he’s dating especially in the cooler months

A bit of self projection with this one but he HATES the feeling of foam like that crafting foam

He’s vegetarian

He would be a musical fan and a theatre kid

Depending on like the timeline I’m playing/the oc I’m using I hc see him a bit differently like if I’m using my oc named Soil he’s 35 he’s on HRT and he hasn’t gotten top surgery, if I use Abraham I hc him as 40ish he’s fully transitioned, and if I’m using Book he’s 35 and fully transitioned

And please please PLEASE if you wanna hear any more hcs from sdv or ow or unicorn wars please ask! I love to rant about things!

Edit: here’s a playlist I made for Harvey Art by dustlicious on tumblr https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7JvpKTQkbebOfh2996jYOh?si=AF4_I1fbS6-k6tuc1sHXyA&pi=u-V7ByQUHVS0i2

#harvey stardew #my bbg #the best character #stardew headcanon #headcanon #stardew valley #trans masc hc #pansexual hc #pan #trans #Harvey #havrey Stardew valley #Harvey sdv #sdv #polyamourous

[dragonsmybeloved]

Rating Verbal Exchanges I Receive(d) at Work

“Have a good day.” 5/10

Pretty standard. Nothing exciting. I usually say it simultaneously by accident which is always awkward.

“You too.” 5/10

A standard reply to a standard statement. Better than nothing, shows basic reciprocation.

“You as well.” 7/10

“You too,” but shaking it up a little like Barry B. Benson.

“Have a blessed day.” 6/10

Synonymous with #1, usually has religious connotations. Keeps things interesting, easy to say “you too.”

“Oh, that’s mine,” while reaching for pizza. “Haha, just kidding.” 0/10

I will actually try to give you the pizza bc it is heavy, I want it out of my hands, and I have no way to tell whether the pizza belongs to you or not, leaving me no choice but to genuinely take your word for it, making me feel like a fool for believing you. Not funny, rude and annoying wish people would stop doing this I’m just trying to do my job and you are actively inconveniencing me.

“What, none for me?” 1/10

Yes, none for you. +1 bc you’re not getting any.

“Sorry about the dog(s). 7/10

It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for the dogs. I’ve been barked at on so many deliveries I’d be surprised if I wasn’t.

“Take care, sweetheart.” 10/10

I am blushing.

“Stay safe.” 9/10

Appeals to my values (staying safe) and shows genuine care for my well-being.

“Thank you.” 8/10

The polite thing to say, I expect you to say it in some way.

“Hi, how are you?” 5/10

A little bland. No matter what, the answer will always be the same: “good, how are you?”

“I like your pins.” (They are LGBTQ and non binary pins) 10/10

An ally. A friend.

Visible confusion before looking down at my chest. “A woman.” -100000/10

Wrong. Don’t look at my boobs. Don’t look me. Uncomfortable. I hate it.

Using my correct pronouns without being asked. +1000000/10

You’re perfect. My heart flourishes.

“Thank you for the pizzas and sodas, I’m going to get back to my tabletop game now!” 1000/10

You are literally my favorite customer. I haven’t seen you in forever, table top guy. I miss you.

“Woof!” Sniff sniff 100/10

Good doggy.

“Meow! Prrrrrr” 100000000x infinity/10

Good cat, cat is baby.

“He… or I guess… she… uh.. uhrhrh.” -100/10

Don’t strain yourself, you’re just embarrassing both of us. Seriously, if you can’t figure it out just pick one and stick with it.

“You’re the most popular lady in the neighborhood!” 8/10

Sadly, I am not a lady. I still appreciate the humor, it is very charming. And I probably have a soft spot for sweet older male gentlemen, they’re always so nice to me for some reason.

“Let’s sweeten the pot a bit,” while handing me a tip. 1000/10

Yes, he was an older male gentleman, and I loved him. It made my entire day. I said thank you very strongly. The pot was sweetened.

“So what is this delivery fee? If it’s not a tip, what is it? Oh, I see, corporate greed.” 10/10

I didn’t know what to say, so I just said, “I don’t really know, just for the money, I guess.” But when I thought about it later I realized a part of the delivery fee probably goes into paying for my mileage. But I really like that he was on my side, and also gave me a tip. And he has a tiny frazzled old chihuahua that always quietly greets me when I step out of my vehicle.

“This pen sucks,” while signing the receipt. 0/10

The kid wrote “deez nuts” or some other similar meme quote in the signature and did not leave a tip. Not impressed, teach your child common courtesy or don’t give them the credit card.

#red dragon rambles #dragon delivery driver

[rosezhid]

Dating Tips And Quips

Shamefully i admit that i was interested in the display "the choose up artist". Essentially some guys who have desirable game train several nerdy, socially handicapped guys a way to choose up chicks. 

The show made me wonder that i absolutely do have a small arsenal of knowledge that helped me to get a whole lot of dates through the years. I stay in Newport seaside however I'm really now not the typical synthetic blonde, faux boogied, size 0, starving model that is local to the place.

 At the beginning look I recognize that I'm now not what most men are seeking out in orange county. Regardless, i have been capable of get dates with all varieties of appealing men through the years. So right here are a few tips for you (men and girls) that is probably useful (or might be demanding depending on how you operate them).

Tip #1- study a few tacky (however humorous) jokes! That is my thing-i always use it when i exit. It is a great way to open up verbal exchange with someone you first meet and to show others which you have a sense of humor. 

It is also a good way to find out if there may be any hobby as nicely... Due to the fact if someone is interested in you, they will typically maintain the communication going after your shaggy dog story. At the most, you will get a number of laughs and those will experience comfy and glad around you. At the least, you bomb after which ask someone in the event that they have a better shaggy dog story (because people like to be the center of attention).

 I always ask human beings to tell me their deez nuts jokes -commonly i method pronouncing "hello does each person have any desirable jokes that i can add to my collection?" i pay attention to theirs after which i inform my very own. *in case you are a guy- do now not inform grimy jokes to ladies (it's a turn off). We decide on cheesy to dirty.

A few of my favorite cheesy jokes:

Why does Snoop Dog carry an Umbrella? For Drizzle. Where do you find Virgin Wool? Ugly Sheep. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? A Pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of his ship in his pants. The bartender asks" why in the world do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies "Aaakarsh, it's driven me nuts!"

Tip #2: look your exceptional

That is a given, but I suppose a variety of human beings don't apprehend what their "quality" is. So be courageous and ask your pals to tell you what they think about your appearance (suck it up, it will be correct for you). I simply don't recognize why there are nevertheless guys walking round with comb-overs, thin denims, terrible breath and bad fashion experience. Move in advance-attempt new matters with your look to look what makes you appearance your fine!

A few ideas:

Men - grow your facial hair out or shave it off. Start operating out. Take a woman pal (or a guy buddy that has appropriate taste) with you purchasing if you want to enhance your dresser. 

In case you are losing your hair shave it off (bald is beautiful). Ladies - cut your hair or alternate the colour, try wearing clothes greater regularly (all men love attire), wear contacts as opposed to glasses (or vice versa), invest in some properly excellent make-up and learn how to use it to play up your satisfactory features.

Tip #3: learn to pay attention

me, me, me, me, me, me, me! This is all i listen to if I am compelled to take a seat throughout from a person and nod as he drones on about himself for greater than 15 minutes. Do not get me incorrect, i want to study other people, however a conversation entails two human beings talking-not simply one. I met a man on line as soon as and while we ultimately spoke on the telephone our verbal exchange lasted a touch over an hour.... 

And about 59 minutes of that conversation changed into simply of him speak me about himself. Useless to say that became the final time I ever spoke to him. It's actual-human beings love to talk approximately themselves! 

So, discover ways to be a terrific listener. Women especially love to speak and that they love with a purpose to ask them questions as it indicates that you are honestly inquisitive about who they're. 

So guys, speak much less, pay extra attention (oh and try to be funny whilst you do communicate). Women, the equal is going for you too.

[heyimjester]

Akutagawa Headcanons Because I Love Him

bites his fingernails, either for stress or subconsciously

taps his fingers to the beat of a song either in the air or on a surface

listens to chase atlantic and melanie martinez 100%

praise kink definitely

gets flustered easily but tries to hide it with a ‘blank’ expression (it doesnt work)

likes to listen to pianists like johannes börnlof and franz gordon, also david ross lawn

digital artist in his free time and he draws cute couple things :((

definitely a xiao main 

actually relatively bold but when someone teases him he crumbles

his tiktok fyp would either be filled with thirst traps or criminal tips

sucks ass at math and biology but is really good at english

speaks with good grammar and often gets compared to an english teacher (even though he denies it)

smiles quite often, but its more of a smirk or a light smile

very good fashion sense, although it only ranges in grayscale colours

extremely ticklish

best friends with chuuya because i said so also IMAGINE THE CUTE SLEEPOVERS AND THE DEEP TALKS IM CRYING :(

favourite insult is either idiot or dumbass

favourite curse word is fuck

exclusively wears converse

sometimes he pins one of his bangs behind his ear (it looks adorable)

his laugh is definitely higher pitched, not in a squeaking way but higher than his usual voice

always falls for deez nuts jokes or the ‘who? cares’ and he curses them out after (LMAOO IMAGINE DAZAI SAYING THAT TO HIM AND HE JUST STARTS CRYING HAHAHAAHA)

im getting sicilian/italian vibes from him so im saying he's bilingual

curses in italian>>>

literally a top tier baker and cook also him and chuuya are roommates and he cooks all the food and sometimes he gives chuuya a little bag of cookies to take to work with him :((

rarity was definitely his favourite mlp character

actually wants to be friends with atsushi but he's too socially awkward to change his behaviour now

gloated about how much of a god he was at geometry dash as a kid

either finds something unfunny or he finds something HILARIOUS, like he will burst into laughter (usually only chuuya can make the second one happen), and he’ll be laughing his ass off or he’ll give you a blank look

LMAOO HE DEFINITELY WROTE A SHIT TON OF SMUT AS A TEENAGER AND THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY HES SO EXPERIENCED

has arguments with chuuya that are stupid asf like what the best character is in mlp (for the record chuuya thinks its rainbow dash aka he's a fucking twink)

very twink energy but also toned asf on his torso

probably had a crush on L or Isaac Foster

chuuya and akutagawa definitely played danganronpa together and they both cried like pussy bitches over the executions also they both definitely stanned kokichi and fuyuhiko (maybe nagito)

THIS GOT SO LONG IMS O SORRY ILL END IT HERE

#Akutagawa #bsd #bsd aktugawa #headcanon #Chuuya #atsushi

[varsityleatherbluejacket]

(Bus) Ride or Die

Pairing: Justin x Alex

Warnings: car crash mention, fluff, genitalia mention

Word count: 1283

Request: Could you please write the prompt "you're a senior for crying out loud, stop writing 'suck on deez nuts' on my window when we ride the bus" for justlex, it's my favorite prompt and I'd love to see how you'd write it

A/N: Thanks for requesting! I changed the quote slightly to make it work logically with the fic, but I hope you like it. I’m honored you trust me with your favorite prompt

Read below the cut or on ao3

You really don’t realize the things you take for granted until they’re taken away from you. Alex really didn’t fully grasp how much he relied on his car until the day he crashed it into a tree. He normally wasn’t a bad driver, but he had been known to be reckless at times and when it started pouring rain, he didn’t exactly slow down to accommodate the weather. He’d been having a bad day, and he really just wanted to get home.

He wished he could do that day over, but sadly, he couldn't. His parents were, of course, furious with him once they realized he was safe and no one was harmed. They were making him get a job to pay it off. He felt miserable, and now he didn’t even have his instant getaway for those nights when he just needed to drive away from his house for a while. He loved his family, but sometimes he couldn’t help but feel suffocated in those walls.

Being with Justin made it easier, but now he couldn’t even drive them places. Or drive to wherever Justin was. (Although, thankfully, Justin spent most of his time at Alex’s house nowadays.) He was accustomed to driving both of them to school, especially since now they were seniors, and most seniors avoided the bus at all costs. It was seen as much cooler when you drove yourself to school, and even if Alex didn’t really care about that part, he hated the bus. It was full of annoying teenagers who took up too much room with their backpacks and tossed garbage in the air for fun and honestly, once he left school, he really didn’t want to spend any more time with the student body at Liberty High. At this point, he’d spent enough time with them to last a lifetime.

It was just a terrible way to end the day. Normally he looked forward to driving him and Justin home or to Monet’s after school, but now, he didn’t have that nice part of his routine anymore. Justin, however, didn’t seem to affected by this change in routine. In fact, he seemed to embrace this throw in their daily schedules, and as soon as they got on the bus for the ride home, Justin grabbed his hand and led them right to the back of the bus, despite Alex’s protests.

“It’s been forever since I’ve rode the bus,” Justin commented with a certain excitement in his eyes. Justin always appreciated spontaneity; Alex, however, preferred structure and routine. His parents had always been very orderly, and he’d been raised on to-do lists and detailed itineraries. Justin’s life had always been a bit chaotic, and he did well under pressure. Justin knew how to adapt to change well. Alex did not.

Needless to say, Alex was taking the whole having to take the bus thing harder. He missed his car. Not because he was one of those guys who prided himself on the model or the engine or something like that, but because it was a mark of freedom and independence that he craved. It was practical; it gave him an escape. The bus did the opposite. Because now instead of being able to leave behind his fellow students once the school day ended, he had to take a bus ride with them. The situation was definitely not ideal by any means.

Normally, Alex loved Justin’s adaptability and optimism about change, but today, he was just really not in the mood. “Yeah,” he grumbled. “Me too.”

Justin nudged his shoulder. “Oh come on, Alex. It’s not so bad.”

Alex looked at him incredulously. “Yes, it is bad.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I hate the bus.”

Justin smiled, reaching over to pinch his cheeks. Alex grimaced, pushing his hands away. “Oh cheer up.” Justin shifted to look at the windows, which were fogged up from the weather. It was so humid outside you could feel the thickness of moisture in the air. Justin swiped the tip of his finger across the window. “Look! We can draw on the windows,” he exclaimed. Sometimes Justin got excited about the simplest things. It was infectious, and Alex couldn’t help but crack a smile. Justin twirled his finger around the edges of the window. “You try.” He grasped Alex’s wrist and pulled him closer to the window.

Alex rolled his eyes but indulged Justin nonetheless, writing ‘hi’ on the window. Justin smiled approvingly. “But it’s backwards!” He pointed out. “You gotta write it so other people could read it.”

He paused for a moment, thinking something over in his mind. He seemed to be so deeply concentrated that Alex couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. He started tracing ‘DE’ with his pointer finger, and Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “What’re you drawing?”

Justin didn’t look up when he said, “You’ll see.”

By the time Justin had finished writing ‘DEEZ NU’ Alex started to catch on. “Are you seriously writing ‘DEEZ NUTS’ on the window?” Justin didn’t respond, but when he finally finished writing, he looked back at Alex with a look of accomplishment and pride on his face. Alex couldn’t help but beam back. His boyfriend was an absolute idiot, but he adored him for it.

“It’s good.” Alex bit his lip, teasing. “But it’s missing something.”

Justin glanced back at the window, eyebrows furrowed and confused. “What?”

Alex leaned over and above where Justin had written ‘DEEZ NUTS’ he began to write ‘SUCK ON.’ The ‘S’ was accidentally backwards. “Ugh, I messed it up,” he complained, biting his lip. Writing backwards was harder than it looks.

Justin wouldn’t stop smiling. “It’s perfect.” He leaned over and kissed Alex’s cheek, making his cheeks turn a tint of pink. “I love it.” He reached down into his pocket and took a picture of their artwork. “‘SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS.’ Truly a masterpiece.”

Alex laughed. “Send that picture to me, Picasso.”

Justin chuckled, nodding. “Personally, I think I’m more of a Vincent Van Gogh.”

“And I think you’re an idiot, Justin Foley,” Alex teased.

“You know you love me.” Alex just laughed and kissed him until the bus hit a pothole, and they were jerked into the seat in front of them. Alex rolled his eyes, but when he saw Justin starting to draw a penis onto the window, he thought that maybe, just maybe, taking the bus wouldn’t be quite so bad.

~~

The next week they still had humid weather and the windows were still foggy, especially in the mornings. Each morning, Justin still wrote ‘DEEZ NUTS’ on the window. One day soon, the bus driver was going to find out who was doing this, and they’d both be in trouble. Alex didn’t care so much about that, but he still couldn’t help but groan on the sixth consecutive day at Justin’s antics, “You're a senior for crying out loud! Stop writing 'DEEZ NUTS' on the window whenever we ride the bus.”

Justin just laughed, poking at Alex’s side. “But it’s a tradition now.”

Alex smiled. “Alright,” he agreed, chuckling. “Move so I can write, ‘SUCK ON.’ I’m starting to get better at writing that backwards.” He wasn’t sure how he’d ever use that skill in life, but he was quickly learning that bus rides weren’t so bad. Not when Justin Foley was by your side to make you laugh. And yeah, their tradition was silly and dumb and immature, but it was theirs. Justin posed by sticking his tongue out underneath the words as Alex snapped a picture of their daily masterpiece. He grinned. “Perfect.” And everything truly was perfect, for this one dumb, immature, youthful moment.

#justlex #justin x alex #13 reasons why #Thirteen Reasons Why #13rw #request #my writing #it means a lot that y'all appreciate and support my writing <3

[diabolik-bitchchan-blog]

I was tagged by @silk-stockingshrew  thank you :D

1. how tall are you?

4′8″

what color and hair style is your hair?

It’s black soon to have purple tips. It’s style almost like kanato’s hair and bit longer than his. 

2.What color are you eyes?

I have hazel green eyes. some days they are more green some days they are more hazel. sometime they are a nice mix of the 2

Do you wear glasses?

I should but I don’t. I don’t wear contacts either unless i feel like having different colored eyes or cosplay

Do you have braces?

Nope

What is your fashion sense?

Ahh I don ‘t have a particular style since I like a lot of styles. I love the gothic styles a lot like cyber goth, pastel goth, fairy goth, gothic lolita, trad goth, and really just any sort of gothic aesthetic. I like  the whole cute creepy look. I also like styles of clothing like Laito’s that looks very pleasing and tasteful <3. I also wearing anime looking stuff, t-shirts and yoga pants are comfy as fuck. I love steampunk <333 emo looking aesthetic is nice too. really just any alternative look. Girly is nice too. stuff like what Yui wear is very nice. Idk i wear kind of whatever i think looks cute. I’m not very picky.

Do you have any siblings?

I have a brother and he’s younger than me. That’s all I know  since we are separated. I have a step brother as well. I see him once in awhile. he’s older than me.

What kind of student are you?

lol I was the slacker kind xD I slept in classes i didn’t like or found boring. pretty much most classes. I drew a lot in class. I still have some of my shitty high school drawings. I passed all the artsy classes and  my mythology class with flying colors. Everything else was shitty. I got C’s mostly had some B’s in the science classes cause i apparently not to bad at science. Had D’s Deez nuts hehe~ in math cause I suck at math. I also hate it  more than kanato hates bitter things. I was also the loner I hated most of the people in my class cause 99% of the time my friends were in other classes. I got stuck with a bunch of assholes. >.> I was not likeable to most people apparently but i don’t care real friends are better than a bunch fake assholes as friends. I also turned everything in literally last minute. Last minute cramming at the end of the trimester. not even kidding turns a majority of my stuff in last day of the trimester xD Moral of this story don’t be me lol

What are my favorite subjects?

My favorite subjects when I was in school was art and mythology <3. greenhousing was fun too. music was nice too. fuck all the other classes they were boring as hell.

Favorite books?

Lord of The Rings, The Hobbit, Morganville Vampires, Witchcraft Theory and Practice, Ashes, The huntress, Grimm brothers fairy tales, and bunch of wiccan books

favorite pastime?

Sleeping, Music, Anime, Manga, Video games, Diabolik Lovers, Shopping, Drawing, Conventions, dying my hair

Any Regrets?

My ex. Dude’s the biggest asshole ever Fuck that hoe, 1000/10 would not recommend that bitch. can go fuck himself with rusty barbwire. also does not know what he’s doing. >.> Need I say more? 

What’s is your dream job?

Piercing artist and selling candles and shit like that

Do you want to get married?

naaaahh fuck no. I like being single. Too introverted with other people. tbh would rather just have the occassional cuddle or fuck.  I’m kinda a fickle person. It’s just easier for me not to bother. I got fictional hoes close enough.

Do you want to have kids and how many?

I don’t want any. 

How many countries have you visited?

1 and that’s canada

I tag @diabolikfandom @theanimegirl786 @tsuki-no-mahou-shoujo @diabolik-secret @diabolixlov3rs

#tag game