#time to log off I guess

[actuallysara]

@ anon: it's literally written in the tags in what ways it's selective meaning: don't be a hater, a porn bot and under 18. now tell me where's the problem in that

#some of you just really like to pick useless fights uh #and again why do I even bother with all this #there's always someone making me regret doing literally anything on here I swear #time to log off I guess #sara talks

[electrosquash]

I had 13 Excel sheets open and they just all crashed x.x

#time to log off i guess #WEEKEEEEEEEEEEEEND

[dottores]

well, i was going to wait to formally announce something when i got the time but i’m a bit irritated that the first thing i see when i log in is this ask

^ to answer your question anon, idk why you’re following if that’s what you feel 💀 respectfully, unfollow and never interact with me again. and this goes for everyone else who has left nasty asks in my inbox demanding me to update. my priority is law school and family, not to update fanfics that i don’t get paid for. this is something i do on the side for fun, it is not a job nor does it help me secure my future. spend less time demanding free work from people and spend more time working on your own future. it quite literally should never get to the point where you’re demanding strangers on the internet to provide you with fanfiction and insulting them when they have other things going on—seek help. that is weird.

but on a more serious note to everyone who has been respectful & kind about it—i don’t think i’m gonna be able to update anything until winter break, i apologize to everyone who has been waiting patiently, i promise i’m not abandoning heliotropes but it will not be updated for at least a month and a half. my workload has skyrocketed the past two weeks and my professors are warning us that it’s only uphill until after finals when we get our break. i need to be focusing on work, i barely even have the energy to answer messages from ppl right now.

^^ so if you are here for just my writing, this is the time to leave. i’ve been very vocal about this not being a writing blog. it is just my blog. if you only want writing, unfollow and find it in the tags.

i am going to be closing my inbox to prevent more asks like this because it’s rude and it’s not something i want to deal with. officially on semi-hiatus.

#tw discourse #i guess #i’m just irritated #i did not want to see that as soon as i log in #but anyway #i will try to post more like regular posts so i don’t disappear off the face of earth but #they’ll be sparse #i literally am so busy i only texted my bf like a dozen times over the past week 😭 i feel so bad #i’ve been taking like #an hour and a half a day to decompress and relax and even then i don’t even have the energy to write #i caught up on jjk manga and anime #i’ll lyk what i think about it soon #but anyway i have to go shower and get ready for my 4 o’clock class

[futuristicpinklemur]

??? Is something happening today or is it more a teaser /gen

#qsmp #low-key scared #I guess not since the morning crew is logging off and qsmp events tend to happen around their time

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#supposed to log good things #most of day was negative feelings and sadness #then. i remember feeling good #and then. tthe good went away #rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing #the feelings of undesirability #the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me #that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting #do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful #pictures get a lot of praise #sometimes #less so lately #maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off #maybe seeing how broken i am #such a shambling wailing mess of a girl #....has made people realize how ugly i am #i don't know. its hard to care most nights #I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings #i don't usually #I used to #now i just feel..... dead inside #like a walking corpse #some part of me wants to make that reality #sigh. #anyway. #im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far #it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol #.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so #....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week

[arolesbianism]

Sits in shambles I didn't read maybe Jorge's id correctly in the mysterious hermit logs the first god knows how many times I read them and only just now realized that it's the same id as the scientist that speaks in the agricultural notes log why must I be so bad at reading

#rat rambles #oni posting #on the bright side thats one mystery id kind of solved #by kind of I mean its most likely jorge but theres no way to comfirm it #this does make me feel like there might be some other b363 thing I missed but Im not sure if I doubt myself enough to go check rn #they are another character seen in story trait logs alongside an in game lifeform origin log just with critters this time #Ive made baseless speculation on who b363 could be based on what named characters we have without ids but its nowhere near confirmed #at least from what I remember but again Im starting to doubt myself a lil so I might double check at some point #the only idless characters we have fully marked off is nikola Im pretty sure #although based on the characters we do know anything abt itd most likely be either ada or liam but thats not saying much #ada is a fairly high probability tho since we basically 100% know that shes a part of the bioengineering department #liam possibly is too but thats more of a educated guess then smth particularly implied #Im glad I've finally realized who our lovely plant guy is tho #alas even if I find some hidden b363 content that still leaves I believe 3 ids unidentified #well we do know that at least one of them is steve but we don't know which one #and while we can take shots in the dark at who the scientist is theres also a second guard #and out of everyone we know bits and pieces abt theres no one who fits that bill or at least not anyone Im remembering #every other mentioned character is some flavor of scientist or is implied to be #not counting quinn but they are also off the table on account of not being a gravitas employee #so basically unless I missed smth the only previously established character that we know for sure is in that log is steve and the other two #could easily be any of the currently unused guys #and the other guard basically has to be unless theres scientists here that also double as guards

[hosticaaa]

𝒜𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯 ; Background stuff

Anyways, that human Alastor post made me wanna throw down some thoughts about Alastor's "background" cause racist zoomer antis in the fandom are wild. I've never gone too hard or deep into Al's history and stuff like that, or rather I've never spoke about it in detail because I didn't want to get attached to my own concepts if canon came along and contradicted anything but none the less I've had plenty of thoughts about Al and I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM that he really does seem to be almost everything I imagined so far, but its still early days as far as actual canon goes so we have a lot to cover and theres a lot we haven't seen yet and honestly might never and there is nothing wrong with that. But, like, ultimately, its really insane to me that people out here will claim that if Alastor's history doesn't paint like some "empowering" django unchained esque picture of in your face racism and oppression that he's not a "real black man" or that anything about him is "racist" or "inaccurate" and w/e because like ... Heres the thing, history isn't as black and white as that ( no pun intended ! ) and while Alastor's time period was good for some epic racism and he undoubtably would have had to navigate it throughout his life regardless to anything, Alastor also lived in New Orleans, Louisiana. Which is pretty fucking important to get an ( accurate ) idea of what Alastor's life as a mixed person would have looked like.

Louisiana had a pretty big population of free blacks. Socially and  economically this was a "good" place for black people going as far back as around the 1760s, maybe even earlier. Black people lived and prospered there, often enjoying similar freedoms as white folks way before that was even getting thought about in other places. This was especially true for black women. At a point, it was recorded that a quarter of the houses along the main streets of New Orleans were owned by free black people and MOST of those were SINGLE BLACK WOMEN. Which is really something to note, especially for this time, this being in the 18th century so this is much earlier than Alastor's time period.

But bringing  us  to  Alastor's  time  of  being  alive,  which  would  be  around  the  1900s  to  his  death  in  1933,  yeah,  its  highly,  highly  likely  Alastor's  ancestry  has  a  lot  of  free  blacks,  its  likely  Alastor's  mother  was  a  land  owner  or  of  higher  class  which  meant  yes,  despite  being  a  person  of  colour,  Alastor  likely  had  plenty  of  privileges  and  not  just  because  of  being  "white  passing",  but  because  this  was  relatively  normal  for  black  people  in  this  area.

And  thats  pretty  much  how  I've  seen  it  for  Alastor.  He's  well  aware  of  racism,  he's  experienced  period  typical  racism  toward  himself  and  toward  his  family  as  that's  unavoidable,  but  he's  never  had  a  real  concept  of  being  "lesser"  to  whites,  he's  never  seen  himself  as  such,  there's  no  point  of  reference  in  his  family  for  him  to  look  to  and  see  this  up  close  aside  from,  again,  the  attitudes  of  whites  around  him,  if  that  makes  sense.  In my HC Alastor's father was white but he wasn't in the picture, he doesn't really know him but it honestly doesn't matter because Alastor's mother owned their home and, in my hc, ran her own small hair salon as a business. She tended to have bad relationships with men but all in all she was a strong woman and Alastor's immense respect of women very much started with her. ( And Alastor's dislike of men started with his mother's lame ass boyfriends. ) So Alastor's articulate, educated and high-class demeanor comes from here. Yes he "acts" and "talks" "white" in a sense, but this isn't to intentionally emulate whiteness as such, it was just the "standard" of the "upper class" at the time which is what Alastor's actually emulating and what was widely considered desired regardless of race as this was what made someone come across as powerful and affluent at this time.

Alastor's main concern throughout his life is appearing powerful, though not necessarily to follow the status quo, which he's actually always enjoyed subverting. But a lot of his outward presentation has to do with this, from his mode of dress to his constant smiling. This could be considered another hallmark of his time period but also, yeah, sure, that aside Al does have "issues" and you could probably say they DO stem from a place of paranoia and aversion toward being looked down upon in life, which again is also likely due to the unavoidable racism of his time and the consequences of racism still being much greater here in spite of his freedoms.

I also think I made an older post mentioning this and it was something I wanted to babble about after I watched the eps and decided not to because I got side tracked squealing about things on discord but Alastor saying to Vaggie his face was meant for radio was something I really loved because while it might have been JUST a gag, I read into it as someone whose been headcanoning this kinda shit since day one, and again I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in an older post, but him saying that felt like a nod to the fact that it was very common for people like Alastor ( poc ) to do VERY WELL on radio due to the fact no one could actually see them to get any impression they weren't white and thus discriminate against them based on this. This, I hc, is true for Alastor and a big reason why Alastor did so well as a radio host in his time. Basically in my HC Al picked up his radio job kind of by accident but unlike Alastor's other projects, it really took off and he embraced it fully. By the late 1920s he was a big name on the air and honestly he was doing really well for himself and probably would have lived a long and prosperous life if he didn't pick up the habit of murdering people. But yeah this idea he isn't black enough and that he doesn't look / act / talk etc "black enough" and that this is somehow racist etc is actually whats racist and kinda mad ignorant too so yeah thats my thoughts on that ! Like I don't know what, if any of Alastor's background is gonna get shown, but so far everything about Alastor seems correct to the time period and none of it regardless to what way it goes is "racist" or "not black enough" especially for Alastor's era, location and profession.

#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ 𝒯𝒶𝑔 ↝ From The Mun ⊱ #⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℳ𝓊𝓈𝑒 ↝ Alastor ⊱ #⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ⚘ 🥀 ━◞ ℱ𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 ↝ Hazbin Hotel ⊱ #hazbin hotel spoilers #Alastor headcanons #^ Possibly. Theres a reference to a scene in the new eps. Nothing detailed but its there. #Anyway I need to log off bc omg my internet is garbage rn and made this a fucking battle to write im so mad #I had to rewrite so many times bc I guess tumblr just eats blocks of text now if ur connection is shit so cool fun awesome hate that

[samuraisharkie]

ok I genuinely think @is-the-owl-video-cute has gone off the deep end. what makes you act like that on the internet for real. I don’t even have a real stock in this bullshit drama but they are just the most reactionary asshole to people? how can y’all look up to them they are genuinely so immature and pissy. they’ve been throwing a fit over users they personally dislike and using absolutely no proof at all to say they doxxed ppl. there’s like zero proof other than they don’t like them LMAO. can y’all log the fuck off please?? before someone actually gets hurt??

#is-the-owl-video-cute #yeah I’m tagging actually I hope ppl searching for drama see this and get a reality check #I saw that archived link what the actual fucking shit in hell were they thinking typing that? #they arent fucking animal murderers. they don't like the way scout handles their media presence or their farm #but that doesn’t mean they doxxed them and there is zero evidence to suggest as much. they’ve said they didn’t so like. nothing to go on.💀 #(frankly also. scout and owlvid should be able to handle criticism and disagreements like normal fucking people #instead of flying off the handle literally every single time. like it’s a pattern) #I think both of them should just log off until they learn to handle this shit in a normal way #and without encouraging their impressionable followers to go on witch-hunts after ppl. #especially bc they don’t like it when it happens to them?? yet they say NOTHING when their followers start harassing ppl?? telling lol #I can’t stand it. y’all aren’t educators and you will never be the end all be all of every opinion you have. stop assuming such. #owlvid has had wildly inaccurate ‘facts’ about rabbits before but acting like they KNOW this shit is infuriating. #I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that every ‘is the x animal cute’ blog has gone to shit and up a creek though #just particularly disappointed in owlvid and scout for the way they’ve handled this #while KNOWING the amount of followers that would swallow their boots all the way their their head if they could #like. cmon. you can say you don’t know enough abt this subject to comment. it’s ok. #and I think scout should be able to handle and address criticisms abt their cows without losing it every single time like #I’ve never met a good farmer that can’t handle criticism for their animals. it’s part of the job you won’t please everyone #and if you are planning on being an educator you have to be able to handle those criticisms with a level head and understanding. #that’s not what owlvid OR scout do. they are influencers on a power trip. #if you want respect you have to give it. not one of the dreaded rabbit people have been disrespectful about their criticism. #it is not so the other way around and that’s telling as hell #the only time I’ve seen these apparently evil sadistic rabbit bloggers make sardonic or disrespectful (I guess?) comments is on their own #and when they’re frustrated about being labeled like they kick puppies for fun for being a fucking normal ass farmer lol #you’d think maybe scout would be able to get that. maybe not so much owlvid bc they don’t seem to understand rural animal care #for the record I’m not looking at any of these blogs involved with scrutinizing detail bc I have better things to do #but I have kept an eye on the situation w scout and animal control being called and how it got twisted into ‘doxxing and swatting’ #by high strung ppl who should not have been online #I value my blood pressure too much the urge to just turn off my phone overcomes any desire to look through the drama

[peri]

the urge to contact everyone youve ever cut off is so strong all the time 24/7

#log date.txt #ive been really sad about the people who arent in my life anymore recently #specifically the ones i cut off #i mean i guess i just never stopped being sad about them? #the last time i spoke to the most recent one i cut off was in like early 2021 #and i forced myself to be and act detached in the moment #but as soon as i blocked them i sobbed #luckily theres One (1) thing they said thats stopping me from contacting them again #and its stupid and very bpd of me to feel the way i do about that small thing they said #but i mean it keeps me from contacting them so.. whatever works #i just wish i could have them back in my life without ..... without everything else #i miss when things didnt get so complicated between us

[pierswife]

Imagine being in love with a character from pokemon, couldn't be me--

#hiiiiiii she's been on the mind since I went on breeeeeak #win for the gays I guess-- #data log: manda's doodles #ship: sugar and spice #tbd rika tag #scheduling this for the morning btw caaaaaauuse yeah-- #helps me stay off tumblr for extended periods of time #I am slowly comin back tho

[sylvrndoodles]

is it just me or does it feel wrong to have 2fa authentication required for work installed on your personal phone? I hate having stuff installed on my phone for work, it's such a creeping intrusion of work into my personal life >:(

#not art #like if you want this you should get me a company phone #what if I don't want a phone? what if my phone breaks bc I'm using it in my daily life? #what if I'm trying to stay off my phone for mental health reasons? #it's just such an intrusion and I hate it I hate it I hate it #wfh #also I am 200x more likely to goof off on my phone when I'm forced to open it to log in to every god damn service we use for work #it's the price they pay I guess ¯\_( •-•)_/¯ #whenever work intrudes on my life I spend more time on me instead of work #they don't get extra for free. #rant

[13eyond13]

.

#think imma try something new where i like #part time blog? #close the ask box and log off during the week and then open it up on weekends #idk it will save me a lot of dumb mindless scrolling but i can still get my dumb memes and fun art #so feel free to send asks on weekends i guess haha #gonna work on the art requests as well! #p

[tkbrokkoli]

just had the worst hair cut experience :(

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #was rly dysphoric abt my hair so i booked an appointment online where you can basically get your hair cut immediately #booked a men's haircut. tried to be as masculine as possible when i went there. i did Not pass as a guy. they thought i was a woman #the whole time. when i wanted to pay the hairdresser was like 'you booked an appointment for a men's cut but you're a woman right?' #she asked that bc for woman the haircuts are more expensive and for men they're cheaper. like. #for a women's haircut you have to pay 20 € more lol. anyway i felt... not much tbh. i looked her in the eye and shook my head #to indicate no im not a woman and she rang me up for a men's cut #i don't feel all that much rn either it's just. looks like i don't pass. there's not much i can do. #i cant dress any more masculine my hair is short i use mens shampoo and deodorant #its probably my high voice. also im small. it might just be my ~vibe~ im a shy kinda person idk #guess i just have to wait for T to work its magic. so far nothing has rly happened #i actually had a cold and not a voice drop but i think ever since i /can/ speak a tiny bit deeper if i try #idk if my levels are good. my next appointment is in april so i just gotta be patient and wait #what's actually most bothersome abt today is that i couldn't play it cool. if this had happened to a cis guy and he would've been asked if #he's a woman he would've laughed it off or been offended and it would've been ridiculous to him. for me it was the worst come true and it #made me extremely insecure and i feel if i had just the confidence that a cis guy has it wouldn't have made me that uncomfortable and i #could've just brushed it off #anyway i gotta focus on my exams now anyway so ill just try to brush this experience off #the hairdresser wasnt even transphobic when i shook my head no im not a woman her eyes were sort of soft but calculating like she accepted #me i think but just the fact that it happened that i do Not pass that i Do have to out myself and can't just be myself w/o being questioned #hurts #also to my mutuals ive read your comments and messages i just havent had the energy to answer yet. i love you guys <3

[clowderofcloudies]

There are some days when tumblr is good and some days where it is just so, so bad

#saw a post saying biden was the most trans friendly world leader because i guess they forgot the US isn't the only country that exists #then another post with a speech about how stupid people are cruel and smart people are kind which is just too much to unpack #and finally a post about how diabled people using AI to make art is morally evil which turned into harassment of disabled people #you people are just as bad as Republicans sometimes despite the veneer of being progressive #time to log off for the day i think

[marklikely]

these tumblr boycott protests are always a mess but this latest one has to take the cake. you tried to blaze this?? you tried to give tumblr money. to protest tumblr.

#hey guys i wanted to boycott chik fil a so i gave their board of directors 500 dollars to spread the word about it for me #avpost #i dont think the idea of like boycotting a website is inherently bad but. #every time someone tries to 'organize' one its just so clear that they put no thought into it whatsoever #just like made an angry post and asked people to boost it and did no planning for how this will work beyond that #bc even an ounce of thought on how this would work couldve told you DONT GIVE MONEY TO THE PEOPLE YOURE PROTESTING? #youre MAD that you weren't able to give them MORE MONEY as PART OF YOUR BOYCOTT PLAN. #anyway i guess whatever if you want to log off that weekend its your business. im busy so i probably won't be online either way just like #idk maybe some actual thought and people who know what they're fucking doing to run this would be nice #since i really don't think that. this is going to accomplish anything

[tittyblade]

genuinely have so much to say and even though i don't know how to put it all into words i'm gonna try anyway.

i'm grateful for everything that's happened in the past two years i've been here and i wouldn't take back any of it. i love the community, all the friends and the memories i've made here. it really has been special for me and i don't know where i would be as a person without techno, this community or any of you. his humor helped me get through days i'm not sure i'd be able to survive on my own and the community he's created has always been a safe space for me where i got to celebrate my identity, my dreams, and find people like myself during the loneliest time of my life.

thank you for being a role model even though you're barely any older than me, thank you for being someone i can look up to when i struggle with being or feeling "different". thank you for all the laughs, all the tears, and all the times i've lost my mind over a fictional story you told with your friends in minecraft.

from a lesbian that was able to accept their identity because of you and your community, you really were actually pretty funny.

thank you for everything. i'll miss you. the blade never dies.

#sorry i'm just processing this and i feel like if i don't write it down i'll explode #it hit me full force a few hours ago and since then i've cried a good while and showered. feeling a bit better now #technoblade #death cw #i love you guys. i'm gonna log off a bit and try to feel better i guess. i hope it'll all get easier with time