#time is a little funky pls don't ask me how it works within canon

[lettucefather]

the bitter

ANGST BELOW EW WTF

(month/day/year)

9/3/1957: It was useless, they never intended to bring her back. He knew what he was getting into, he knew she would die, he knew he would have to lie about her death for the glory of the Motherland. Winning the race required sacrifices! He was not a coward! He just hoped her death was quick and painless, and desperately tried to ignore the evidence against it.

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4/30/1945: Every empire falls at some point, and true leaders know when it is time to let it die. He even used to fantasize about his own heroic death in the middle of a war he was not destined to win. Nothing could have prepared him, though, for the unexpected terror he felt when he had to shoot the last of his companions, the only one he ever considered a friend, before pointing the gun at himself.

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2/10/1939: Qui knew qui was going to die, but qui would not give up without a fight! Yet, the moment qui heard the hissing and growling by quis side, and realized that both of them would die, qui broke down. It was over. Even if it was a sign of weakness in front of the enemy, the only thing qui wanted to do was pet quis kitty one last time.

awww dang lettuce that was kinda sadge and shitty pls don’t do angst anymore like, ever, in your life-

BUT WAIT

WHERE’S ANCAP?

Uh, Libertarian, I think we overfed her.

Yeah, she just looks, uh... thick. And dead. Yes, I poked her with the stick. Dude, trust me, I know a dead snake when I see one, alright? Rand!

Order a new one, why don't you. Yeah, straight from the Amazon rainforest. Um... no, not an adult one. Perhaps you could find me an egg? Yeah, I know it's more work but... just bring me an egg, man.

also, have something sweet to make all this edge slightly more palatable:

#I DID USE THE SAD COMMIE IN THE END HAHA #tw angst #tw suicide #(i mean implied but yeah nazi is canonically suicidal right?) #tw implied death #tw implied animal death #like all of em #that's the whole point of this post lmao #cw food mention #i think that's it #now the actual tags lmao #jreg #centricide #jreg ancom #jreg commie #jreg nazi #jreg ancap #i just thought abt the pets and realized their animals DEFINITELY died before them (or with them) and #i had to i'm so sorry #time is a little funky pls don't ask me how it works within canon #or with the ages i put in the sweet post #i don't have enough braincells for that #lettuce art tag