#thus i interpreted the prompt in one of the worst ways possible

[accirax]

DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better and Worse

The following is an ask sent to me that, while numerically present in my inbox, is invisible and inaccessible, and thus, I was only able to read it through its corresponding notification email. Tumblr be a functional website challenge; level impossible.

What a great question! Up to this point, I’ve been more of an AU enjoyer than an AU creator (other than the BNHA thing), so this will be an exciting foray into the realm of possibility! The task of creating both the best and worst outcome also provides a lot to think about when it comes to characterization. I’m excited to get talking about this! But first, some rules.

(And the usual CW for DRDT spoilers, as well as mentions of murder, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and implied homo/transphobia. You know, standard business for DRDT secret discussion.)

To keep things simple, I’m going to be assuming that the true owners of the secrets are as follows:

While I’m by no means asserting that this interpretation of whose secret is whose is 100% accurate, it’s what I see widely agreed upon by the fandom, and what I currently believe myself. Having to factor in a bunch of different permutations of secret distribution seemed terribly complicated, so I decided to avoid it. If anybody disagrees with where I’ve placed any of the secrets, please just consider it as another facet of the alternate universe.

Additionally, I’ve kept up the “rule” that no one is allowed to receive their own secret. I’m also assuming that everything is the same up until when MonoTV hands out the motives, such that Xander and Min are still dead. However, a different distribution of secrets could have changed the details of the Chapter 2 murder, so I kinda have to speak about it in hypotheticals. I was just talking about how I didn’t want to make things needlessly complicated, so I’m not throwing in a bunch of speculation about how the secrets may have factored into the AU killer’s motives when I can’t even say for certain who the canonical killer was.

I also decided to interpret the prompt as “what’s the best/worst overall shuffle” as opposed to “who is the best/worst recipient for each individual secret.” The latter seemed like it might repeat characters too many times, and “the ch2 secrets [getting] swapped in a different way” implied to me that each character was still limited to receiving one secret. Hopefully that’s what you were going for with your ask!

Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get started with the best case scenario, given that I think that’ll be easier. I’ll go through the characters’ secrets in the order they’re listed in on the board, so that it’ll hopefully be easier to follow along.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

If someone was going to have remorse for the remorseless killer, I think it would be Eden. Even if the concept of someone killing in cold blood might frighten Eden, the pair is already off to a good start with the conversation they shared at the beginning of Chapter 2. Eden knows a bit more about Levi’s family situation (which may have been the cause of his callous killing) and how he is trying to be a good person, even if he feels like he might be failing. Compared to others in the cast, I feel like Eden might be more willing to hear Levi out.

Specifically, we know from canon that (under David’s encouragement, at least) Eden planned to share her secret– which was a pretty severe one already– in a closed environment with just her and the secret’s owner. Of course, we haven’t yet seen from canon how Levi would react to getting assigned this secret, so it’s possible he could flip out in a similar manner to how Arturo did when Eden confronted him. However, I think there’s a good chance that he would be more resigned or neutral, which might also give Eden hope that he isn’t a lost cause… again, under the assumption that he isn't. This secret does have a chance of backfiring, but I’m making the choice to have faith in Levi– much like I think Eden would if she saw his secret!

Nico receives David’s secret

Now this is kind of an unconventional one, but, hear me out.

I don’t know if there really is a “good option” for David’s secret in the sense that I think anyone who would choose to reveal the information to the group would be the type to do so in an accusatory, non-constructive way. Similarly, a lot of people who wouldn’t reveal the secret might face problems if it caused them to quietly simmer in their distrust. That suppression of emotions could lead to a big blow up in the future.

Because of that, you might be wondering why I didn’t assign this secret to one of my throwaway slots– namely, Xander, Min, or Rose. Well, it’s because I also wanted to consider what would happen if, even in this good universe, some number of students still needed to attend a Class Trial where the secrets are unknown. Certain secrets, if left unassigned, would lead to paranoia and distrust amongst the students. And, by throwing this secret away, this secret could basically never be confirmed as David’s other than by process of elimination or (highly unlikely) self-assignment. Therefore, all of the students would have to assume that anyone whose secret isn't known has a decent chance of believing that everyone exists to be manipulated. In my opinion, that would make productively discussing a murder really difficult.

So, I decided that the best course of action would be to give this secret to the person who would make the smallest deal out of it, and that turned out to be Nico. Nico already believes that socially interacting with other humans is a complicated and confusing process, the rules of which force you into expressing yourself in a specific, “acceptable” way. Basically, I think that Nico might already see a lot of conversation as manipulation, and themselves as the manipulee. The secret says that David is really good at interpreting those rules and acing the bullet points of “acceptable” conversation? No shit, he’s the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

I’m not trying to say that Nico is “dumb” enough to not realize that this secret is generally threatening, but I think that, if word of it were to come out, Nico would present it in a subdued enough manner that it wouldn’t make things worse than they need to be.

Hu receives Ace’s secret

Oh boy, this is a dangerous choice given Ace and Hu’s tumultuous relationship. Although, to be fair, I don’t remember exactly how established that rivalry was prior to the distribution of the canonical secrets. To the extent that they didn’t already hate each other to the point of no return, I chose this one because I think that Hu having the context of Ace’s secret might actually help to mend their relationship.

As I said up top, this AU is predicated on Hu having the “hopeless child” secret. Thus, in this AU, we can say for certain that Hu has a prior history of self harm/self destructive tendencies. If hopeless child Hu does turn out to be canon, it would support the theory that part of the reason why Hu won’t share the “harm yourself for fun” secret is because she knows that mental health is a sensitive subject, and doesn’t want to force someone to open up about it. Given that eating disorders are a form of self harm, we can rest assured that this isn’t a secret Hu would share, no matter how much David suggests that she does.

Given Hu’s history, she might be one of the people in this cast who could best understand Ace’s plight. With this additional context, his quest for power over something in his life might feel more sympathetic, and Hu might be able to muster more concern for him. And, I’m not gonna lie, part of this assignment was granted in the slim hope that the Ultimate Mom Friend Hu would be able to make a big grandma-style meal for Ace to enjoy. They could be an improbably wholesome duo if not for… The Circumstances.

Those circumstances won’t fade anytime soon in canon, but exploring hypotheticals like this are the whole reason why AUs exist!

J receives Eden’s secret

Compared to everyone else, Eden’s secret is a pretty nonthreatening one that, especially among this pretty queer cast, shouldn’t raise a whole lot of issues. The biggest problem I can see arising from it is if someone decided to out Eden, sort of like what happened to Nico. Therefore, I wanted to give Eden’s secret to someone who would be unlikely to share it without Eden giving the okay. And, J seemed to fit that description pretty well.

Obviously, some of J’s canon behavior was spurred on by the fact that Arturo non-consensually revealed her secret (which, spoilers, will not be happening in the blessed half of this AU). But, given J’s preference for privacy, I don’t think J would jump to sharing even a “harmless” secret. We directly saw that J only revealed Charles’ secret once he gave express permission for her to do so, which is what I would ideally want for Eden. Eden’s secret being given to a girl who would presumably be cool with her lesbianism is an added bonus to assuage her fears that (straight) girls who know she’s gay wouldn’t want to be her friend.

Unless, of course, J is also a girlkisser… then maybe the motive secrets could turn into a meet-cute…….. (/j)

Rose receives J’s secret

Finally, our first throwaway slot. After what J’s been through, I think she deserves to have her secret not be a topic of discussion at all– or at least not until all of them are listed out on the board.

There is also some logic behind which secret I gave to Rose as opposed to Xander or Min. We didn’t really see this in canon, but if Whit had let his secret go unclaimed, I could see some people being mad at Rose for inadvertently throwing away valuable information. This sentiment would only increase if Rose’s secret was something more relevant to the case at hand. Like, could you imagine how mad Teruko would have been if Rose had received the “murderer without remorse” secret? They could have had the answer to which person among them was a murderer without remorse, but Rose just carelessly threw it away because she was worried about people’s privacy?!

Therefore, I think the best case scenario for Rose is to receive one of the low-stakes secrets. In the case of J’s secret, it’s possible that someone like Arturo would be able to figure out that it was J’s secret without any confirmation from Rose as long as he had the information that someone in the cast was Mariabella’s daughter. No harm, no foul if Rose throws out the secret only for it to be instantly solvable anyway.

By giving J’s secret to Rose, J gets the blessing of privacy for as long as the secrets don’t become public knowledge, but Rose also doesn’t garner any backlash if they do, for one reason or another.

“Xander” receives Arei’s secret

Just to clarify, there isn’t any meaning behind which secret Xander vs Min got; they both just mean that the secret is un-confirmable.

Arei’s secret is a good one to bury because of how easily it can be misinterpreted. From the phrasing of the secret, nobody would know that Arei’s sisters abused her unless Arei told them herself, and without that context, Arei appears quite villainous. Hell, some people believe that learning of this secret was a reason why Levi would have chosen to kill Arei! If this information about Arei just isn’t out there to be known, then nobody could make that fatal oversight.

Also, Arei already knew what the vague contents of her secret would be, presumably without having seen the actual text. In Ace’s flashback, she quotes David’s secret from memory (because she read it), but when she unveils her own secret, she throws in the detail about reform school which isn’t at all present in the secret’s text. I think it was really important for Arei’s development that she had the agency to reveal her secret at her own pace. By making her secret inaccessible, it removes the possibility that someone else would reveal it before she’s emotionally ready.

Arturo receives Min’s secret

Look at me, pairing Arturo and Min together yet again. What is it about these two that causes me to keep coupling them…? Well, at least this time, they’re paired up because they, like, never talk in canon.

Arturo has proven himself to be a problem when it comes to revealing secrets. Even if he hadn’t been handed Miss Rosales’ dirty laundry, I would believe that he would air out the secrets of whichever nobody he learned about simply due to disrespect. Therefore, I think that giving Arturo a secret that really doesn’t matter is the best course of action. Whether he reveals it on the day the motives were distributed or the day of the Class Trial, most people probably wouldn’t make much of a fuss about an already-dead student’s secret, least of all Arturo. If he doesn’t care about what Min was up to, he wouldn’t stir up any drama by revealing or concealing information.

David receives Xander’s secret

Not gonna lie, I mostly gave this one to David as a form of damage control. I don’t know what he’s going to do with the secret he did canonically receive in the future– whether it belongs to Teruko or someone else, or whether he’s dying immediately or in it for the long haul– but giving David the silver bullet of “the killing game is all your fault” seems like way too much power to hand over. With a dead student’s secret, he doesn’t gain much by telling the truth or have much of a basis to execute a good lie.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that David received Xander’s secret, which is all about the tragically heroic backstory that probably led him to find comfort in David’s speeches in the first place. (And it does paint Xander in a decently positive light– “it wasn’t your fault” erases the possibility that Xander killed his family or whatever.) I imagine that, had David received this secret on the first day, basically a little buffering symbol would appear over his head and he would have to go lie down and stare at the piece of paper for a few hours. Or days.

By distracting David, we can hopefully avoid any of the decidedly negative side effects that him attempting to deduce and reveal everyone else’s secrets caused. While everyone else is growing as a person and whatnot, David can just be… looping the Literature Girl Insane MV in his head, or something. Is that really good for him? Probably not, but these are the heights you can reach when you set out to cause problems.

Arei receives Whit’s secret

Arei already didn’t reveal whose secret she had to anyone, as far as we know. So, if she had the secret belonging to Whit, arguably her closest friend at the start of Chapter 2, I really don’t think she would say anything. That’s good for Whit, because, similar to what I said about Arei herself, I think it’s better for him to have the ability to come forth with his secret when the time is right. Anything else and it might shake up his persona too suddenly and send him fight or flight mode.

I think the biggest potential flaw here is that we don’t know how Arei felt about her mom. Arei is willing to go confront other people about their secrets, so if Arei either really loved or really hated her mom, maybe that would lead her to go confront Whit about what his secret meant. And then, that could lead into him deflecting and looking shady.

That’s not really a huge liability to me, though, so I think this one will be fine.

Veronika receives Charles’ secret

Veronika is a weird case, because whether or not she reveals a secret seems to be based solely on entertainment value. In canon, we’ve seen that she hasn’t yet revealed the “hopeless child” secret because, for whatever reasons, she thinks that’ll make the killing game more interesting. But presumably, if she thought that revealing someone’s secret would make the game more interesting instead, she would have done that.

Because Charles doesn’t remember his brother’s death himself, I don’t think Veronika would see much value in holding it over his head, saving it for a dramatic reaction down the road, or whatever the hell she was trying to accomplish by not revealing Hu’s secret. Therefore, I think Veronika would find it most entertaining to see Charles’ reaction to learning about his amnesia, and tell him pretty quickly.

On the surface, that seems bad. However, I actually think that Charles learning about his secret is… for the best? If you assume that Charles is going to have to learn about this factoid someday, it’s probably better for him if he does it before a Class Trial is called, so that he can be in a more stable mental state. It’s also better for him to do it while he has Whit there to support him, and who knows what could happen between those two in future chapters? Much like Arturo’s assignment, we defuse Veronika’s chaotic power with this one, with the added benefit of potentially helping Charles on his journey to self-understanding.

Levi receives Arturo’s secret

Arturo’s secret was a hard one, because I think most people would react to it pretty negatively, especially with the confirmation that it belongs to Arturo of all people from the start. You could leave it with Eden as someone who seemingly didn’t judge, but given how poorly that situation played out in canon, it felt wrong to leave it in her hands.

Therefore, I gave it to someone who could potentially relate: Levi. He, too, came from a tense family background which he had to leave, and as such, he might better be able to put himself in Arturo’s shoes. While it is possible that Levi could resent Arturo for “ruining” a “good(?)” relationship with his sister (given how Levi struggled to coexist with his siblings), I don’t think it would irk Levi so much that he’d take drastic action against Arturo.

At the very least, we saw that Levi didn’t spill the beans about Arei’s similarly anti-sister secret. By that logic, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it, possibly including Arturo. In that case, we avoid Arturo blowing up on whoever was unlucky enough to have to break the news. And, even if Levi did tell Arturo, and Arturo decided to attack, I trust that even an injured Levi could defend himself far better than Eden could.

Ace receives Veronika’s secret

I just don’t think anything particularly bad would happen here. When I imagine Ace receiving this secret, I kinda just think of him going, “what the fuck?!”, and then putting the paper away. As someone who cares immensely about his own safety and image, I can definitely see this secret confusing Ace, but I don’t think to a point where it would really mess him up. It might make him think that Veronika is dangerous and weird, but… well, he already thought that.

Speaking of, especially with this information, Ace is too afraid of Veronika to try to bully her in the same way that he did with Nico. I don’t see any reason why Ace would benefit from revealing this secret, so it would likely remain hidden, which is probably for the best. Honestly, I don’t know if Veronika would care if this secret of hers got out, given that the main reason why people think this is hers is because of the similar sentiments that she already shared with Teruko in a public location. But, regardless, it takes away any ammo Ace might have by making his only target someone who he’s too afraid to take shots at.

Teruko receives Hu’s secret

Completing our little triad of sadness, this is the third instance of me giving a secret involving self harm to someone else who engages in self destructive practices– first Hu with Ace, then Ace with Veronika, and now Teruko with Hu. It obviously sucks that there are so many people in this cast who are struggling with this same issue, but I think it works out well to have them overlap. They’re probably the ones who best grasp the severity of each other’s problems, so they understand the gravity of sharing the information and would take steps to avoid doing that unnecessarily.

But, yeah, there wasn’t much of a reason beyond that for me to assign Teruko here. As a further extrapolation of the above point, though, if Teruko decided to ask Hu about her secret in the same way that she did with Rose, maybe Teruko could provide Hu some comfort about the situation and they could become friends.

Although, thinking about it more, that would actually have a decent chance of backfiring, as Hu might not appreciate having to take on the role of the helped as opposed to the helper, and Teruko might freak out if she felt herself letting her walls down around Hu. But that’s only if Teruko chose to talk to her about it, which is dubious in the first place. I don’t think Teruko would intentionally use this as any sort of weapon against Hu, which is the main criteria I was looking for.

Charles receives Rose’s secret

More unproblematic people being unproblematic. I don’t know if anything weird would happen as Charles’ upper-class upbringing came into contact with Rose’s cash-strapped past, but if it did, it would probably be a positive development for Charles. Y’know, like “realizing that it’s not only wealthy academics who can have talent” or “further learning to recognize his privilege and have sympathy for other people.” Much like what Charles canonically did with Eden’s secret, this one would probably go under the public radar until a Class Trial occurred, at which point Charles would reveal it. And, hey, that’s kind of like Rose’s secret’s canonical fate as well.

I also don’t think that we’d run into any trouble with Teruko possibly learning this one from the note that Charles passed her either, because… again, this was Teruko’s canonical secret, and nothing bad happened. Sometimes no reaction is the sweetest reaction of all.

Whit receives Nico’s secret

Yup, like you implied, Whit receiving Nico’s secret would probably be one of the best options for them. It’s not too much of a surprise. Whit seems to be a pretty securely out bi guy, so he would obviously support of Nico’s identity, and possibly even be someone Nico could look up to for being confident in who they are. On top of that, Whit greatly values privacy, and thus wouldn’t go around immediately shouting, “wow, Nico, it’s so awesome that you’re nonbinary!” He’d only do that if Nico wanted him to, after asking them first. I’m not even sure if Whit would contact Nico about it directly, but even if he didn’t, I feel like Whit would try to find ways to subtly encourage Nico so that they would feel safe coming out themselves. At least, that’s what my bias is telling me.

As a side note, I’m still playing with the rule that Arei sees whatever Whit’s secret is over his shoulder, which is actually what gave Nico’s secret the nod here over Eden’s. We saw that Ace, along with some others, were confused about what exactly the text of Nico’s secret meant. Meanwhile, if attached to Eden, her secret is pretty explicitly about her being sexually attracted to women, and therefore homosexual. I’m not at all calling Arei homophobic (in fact, the concept of doing so makes me very uncomfortable, so please don’t joke about it), but given that the two had been fighting beforehand, it’s possible that Arei would have tried to use the content of Eden’s secret against her somehow (but again, not in a homophobic way).

At the very least, Arei would know something about Eden that Eden might not want her to know, which is bad. I’m not sure if Arei would inherently understand Nico’s secret enough to gain anything of use from it, while Whit and his intuition would definitely understand what’s going on.

“Min” receives Teruko’s secret

Here we go; our other throwaway secret! Part of the appeal of leaving this one in the dark is because… well, we don’t know if it’s true. While the secret doesn’t explicitly state that its owner is the mastermind of the killing game, it’s definitely designed to make you think that’s the case. And, uh, I don’t know if Teruko is the mastermind or not. I recently wrote 1000 words about it, which is equal to one picture.

So, let’s explore both avenues. If Teruko isn’t the mastermind, then sharing this secret around is obviously bad. It would cause people to unwarrantedly distrust Teruko, and possibly even cause Teruko to distrust herself. That could impede the progress of Class Trials, if people don’t trust Teruko’s reasoning anymore, and the progress of deducing the actual mastermind. Therefore, by taking this secret out of circulation, we stop the misinformation from spreading.

Alternatively, if Teruko is the (evil) mastermind, then… aren’t I doing a disservice by not allowing the students to encounter this information? Well, yes, and no. I am preventing them from accessing the deus ex machina of David just outright saying, “oh, and by the way, Teruko is the mastermind!”; that much is true. But, by leaving that information out… aren’t I just leaving them in the same position that most killing game casts are in? They know that one of them is the mastermind, they just don’t know who. And, actually, they have a leg up on the other casts because the mastermind’s identity would still be a logically deducible fact that they could basically confirm if they all worked together. I don’t think it’s too much of a blow to the innocent students if we leave this one out, is what I’m saying.

So, that’s the good ending! A quick graphic to show how everything shook out:

(I swear, I didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Nico’s identity. I just reused the sprites from my archetype analysis because I was too lazy to go get new ones…)

Now, on to the bad ending. This one was a lot harder to assign. Given that these secrets were meant to sow discord, there are only so many ways that things can play out well. There are lots of ways that things can play out poorly.

But, hopefully I’ve found the aggregate worst answer! Given that this is, you know… the one where things go horribly wrong, things may get pretty dark in this section, so proceed with caution. Nobody’s going to die or anything like that, but know that your faves may not be depicted in the most positive light in this section. Grab something comforting and put on some happy music, or lean hard into the angst, ‘cause we’re about to get started.

The Bad Timeline

Ace receives Levi’s secret

Look. I 100% agree that the whole Ace/Nico situation is a Major Yikes Situation /pos. However, I’m hopeful (in the sense of trying to craft the worst possible outcome) that we could still get a More or Less Yikes Situation even without the pair obtaining each others’ secrets.

Although Ace revealing that he was in possession of Nico’s secret closely preceded Nico’s death threat, that wasn’t actually what specifically led Nico to intimidate Ace. It was Ace’s comment that Nico was such a weakling that they could only solve their problems by getting people like David to help them, as well as the culmination of several days of Ace’s torment beginning in Chapter 1, which led them to do it. What I’m saying is, Ace and Nico were already rivals before the secrets even came out, so even without the direct connection to one another via the motive, it’s possible the high tensions would still cause similar events to unfold.

All that preamble hopefully helps to justify my choice to put Ace on Levi’s secret, because, my god, you can open a whole other can of worms with this one. Ace gaining the knowledge that Levi is a killer without remorse the day after Levi threatened to kill him would freak Ace out like nothing else. Being as loud as he is, I would think that Ace wouldn’t be able to stop himself from sharing this one with the class, starting a conflict right from the start.

While do I think the other students would believe Ace in the end– especially if he showed them the paper on which Levi’s name was printed�� I also think that some people might doubt Ace’s words at first, thinking he’s overexaggerating as usual. However, that moment of being Boy Who Cried Wolf-ed by everyone else would also really fuck with Ace. He’s literally right, and has the paperwork to prove it, and yet people are still disinclined to believe him because they see him as a fool. It would draw an even deeper wedge between Ace and his classmates than we saw in canon.

Tying back around to the beginning, I think that this extra layer of powerlessness would just make Ace even more inclined to seek out a feeling of power elsewhere. So, I’m thinking that would still result in Ace bullying Nico, and, assuming he still keeps it up for long enough and calls Nico a weakling, we might be able to loop back around to Nico’s death threat anyway. Major Yikes Situation not averted!

Veronika receives David’s secret

Here’s a chaotic choice. Given how open-ended and accusatory David’s secret is, I definitely think it’s one that Veronika would have chosen not to reveal. However, just because she doesn’t want to reveal it doesn’t mean that the information won’t get out… in a way.

We’ve seen time and time again that Veronika is fascinated with morally questionable people, first with Arturo and later David himself once she knew about his secret. Therefore, if she knew about David’s secret from the start, I don’t think she would be able to stop herself from following him around and making some clever comments here and there. Can you imagine how concerning it would be to watch David try to give hope speeches and guide people while Veronika is peering over his shoulder and grinning at him, refusing to elaborate?

It would definitely be worrying, but I don’t think it would fully stop everyone from listening to him– but in this case, that’s a good thing! David’s tactics wound up causing more harm than good, so it was important for me to give his secret to someone who wouldn’t call him out immediately and stop him from enacting these bad policies. Veronika is a great choice for allowing that to happen, but also causing a lot of stress and doubt speculating as to what exactly Veronika could know about David that would make her act this way. Honestly, it might be the worst for David himself…

Levi receives Ace’s secret

This one isn’t that terrible on its own, but in the context of Ace also having Levi’s secret, I think it gets pretty hairy. I can’t really see any scenario where Levi knowing Ace’s greatest secret goes over well for them. If Ace blows up at Levi right out the gate, there’s a definite possibility that Levi can’t keep his cool and winds up firing off Ace’s secret in front of everyone else as retaliation. Betraying Ace’s trust like that (even if Ace was the one to mouth off first) would make their relationship even more unsalvageable.

Even if Levi did manage to keep his mouth shut, knowing Ace’s secret would just generally make it harder for Levi to talk to Ace when explaining himself or trying to make amends. Like I discussed with Hu in the good timeline, there’s a lot you can learn about Ace in the contents of his secret and the way it’s phrased. I feel like Levi would be able to pick up on some of that knowledge, but he would then find it even harder to interact with Ace without accidentally spilling the beans on some of that newfound understanding. This secret shuffle would make their relationship basically irreparable in my opinion, and the increased frustrations from both boys might make one of their tempers flare and lead them to do something inadvisable.

“Xander” receives Eden’s secret

First of all, giving “Xander” this one means there’s one less problematic person who could draw a relatively harmless secret, which is a pro in this scenario. Leaving this secret unconfirmed could also cause problems in a Class Trial. Given that this secret doesn’t include murder, blackmail, manipulation, etc, it’s a pretty nice secret to claim for yourself, even if it can basically only be claimed by one of the girls. This means that, even if Eden tried to be truthful about her secret, people might believe that she’s lying.

Furthermore, the DRDT cast seems to be a pretty queer group of people overall. 6/15 of the non-Edens are confirmed LGBTQ+ themselves (even if not all of them are out), and everyone has treated Nico and Whit’s identities with respect since learning about them. Canonically, I would say that Eden has nothing to worry about with regards to the other girls treating her differently for being a lesbian.

So, by making Eden’s secret far less accessible, it becomes less likely that she’ll ever get that moment of recognition and affirmation. Instead, as Eden’s secret remains hidden and irrelevant, it becomes easier for her to stick to what she knows is safe. An accepting environment was right there in front of her, but with the convenience of periphery, she might not ever see it.

Arturo receives J’s secret

Yeah, I agree with you on this one– J truly did roll a crit fail. I did consider giving J’s secret to someone else, as long as they would definitely publicly spill the beans, if it meant that Arturo could learn the content of J’s secret while receiving an additional bad secret as well. However, I couldn’t think of anyone who would be so guaranteed to tell everyone about J’s secret that I could be confident Arturo would hear of it, nor could I think of any particularly catastrophic secrets I’d rather give to Arturo. So, this one stays. J really is living in the worst timeline already– like if you cry every time.

Hu receives Arei’s secret

Hu was a tough nut to crack, because I think the ideal bad situation for her is that she gets a secret that’s problematic enough that it would cause major issues if news broke, but not so problematic that she wouldn’t be willing to share it as a part of David’s “let’s tell each other about our secrets” plan. Operating under the logic that the mention of self harm was the reason why she wasn’t willing to share the secret she got in canon, 3/15 options immediately disappear. More options vanish when you start eliminating not-super-problematic secrets like Xander's family, Charles’ brother, or Rose’s debt.

After some consideration, I landed on Arei’s being the best balance of thorny and not. It’s a secret that discusses a serious crime without incorporating murder, and there’s lots of room for public interpretation that could cause things to go really poorly for Arei if folks jump to conclusions. Given that Hu already didn’t super like Arei (I’m basing this off of her chastising Arei for bullying Eden), I could totally see her being willing to share this secret publicly in order to help everyone see that Arei is someone not to be trusted.

Making Arei’s secret publicly aired also removes the very important aspect of Arei’s agency that I wrote on in the good section. If Hu is sharing this secret, it’s probably pretty early in the chapter, which means that Arei might not be prepared whenever the news drops. The context of the secret sharing doesn’t involve Eden at all, so Arei might have a harder time putting two and two together about why she acts the way she does and how she wants to change. Not to mention, if Hu shares the secret in a way that directly agrees with David’s scheme, it automatically pits David against Arei, which means that he can’t offer her any help (to the extent that what he said helped her canonically). It’s just bad all around. But that’s why I’ve come to feel pretty confident in this choice.

Rose receives Min’s secret

Following up on Rose’s last entry, this is not one of the secrets that the rest of the students could either easily deduce or ignore. It would be very easy to assume that the owner of the poison secret was a murderer– possibly a mass murderer, and even one who didn't regret what they did. Even if poison wasn’t used in the Chapter 2 murder, people might suspect this person of being the killer, and/or it could throw suspicion on Charles as the only one (who we know of) who has a poisonous custom weapon.

Now, obviously, this secret did not cause much of a scene in the canonical Chapter 2 trial, but I think at least part of that is because it was Xander’s. Everyone knows that the person who has that secret can only be determined by process of elimination no matter who they ask. The same would be true if it were the secret Rose got, but people might grow upset that Rose threw away such a valuable piece of evidence. And, with Min incapable of claiming her secret, it might appear even more that someone was trying to hide something when nobody spoke up to claim it. It’s not much, but Rose made it difficult to come up with something bad.

Teruko receives Xander’s secret

Funnily enough, the logic behind me giving Xander’s secret to Teruko is quite similar to the logic behind me giving it to David. Much like how David would be taken out of commission by reading this secret, I think that Teruko would act the same– it would just be worse for her and the group as a whole.

Like I said for David, Xander’s secret paints him out as a tragic hero. He loved his family to pieces, and regrets their passing so much that he wishes he could have died with them. Even though it was textually not his fault, Xander still beats himself up every day for not being around to do the right thing and save people when it counted. …What does it mean that the guy with this secret was the one who felt he had to kill Teruko for the greater good?!

Reading Xander’s secret would only pull Teruko deeper into anger, self-hatred, and confusion. She was already pretty off kilter in this Chapter from trying to ignore her mixed emotions regarding Xander, and I think that having to relive her trauma and his betrayal any time someone brought up the mere concept of secrets would basically take her out of commission. I mean, check out how many times I was able to say the word secret in these three paragraphs alone. I don’t imagine Teruko would be able to fare much better in the hellish environment of this terrible swap, which might lead her to hole up in her room all day and grow increasingly bored and bitter.

Now, I’m not saying that Teruko needed to be up and at ‘em in the daily life because her running around and pressing knives to people’s throats was just so helpful. But at least, unlike David, she wasn’t actively making the situation worse. Her presence may have even made potential friends like Eden, Charles, or Rose feel better. At the very least, Teruko learned some key social context in the Chapter 2 daily life prior to the Trial, so removing Teruko from those interactions would make it much harder for her to fully grasp what was going on should she be forced to solve a murder once again.

Charles receives Whit’s secret

I agree with you here as well– Charles acquiring Whit’s secret is probably the worst case scenario for Whit. As one of two people who actually heard Whit talk about his mom in Chapter 1, Charles is one of the only people who would know that Whit doesn’t just “omit that truth” by not talking about his mom, he actively talks about her like she is alive. This would raise a very big question for Charles at a crucial point in their friendship. Charles has just come to start trusting this guy, so what do you mean he was lying about something so odd…?

There’s a chance that the reveal of this concealment of the truth would cause Charles to determine that he couldn’t trust Whit anymore, and it would drive them apart. But, I think that’s pretty unlikely. More likely is the option where Charles (who’s in a fragile state from his meltdown yesterday and only JUST started learning how to be a good friend) tries to question Whit about it, only for Whit to panic. I don’t really think that Whit would try to keep the ruse going, seeing as Charles literally has the answer right in front of him, but he still might be full of deflections, or try to avoid the subject with jokes. (“Huh? No, I totally said that my mom passed away a few years ago! You must’ve just not heard me– did you fling some detergent into your ears with that laundry machine?”)

I’m not sure if this distribution of secrets would fully split them up, but it would definitely cause a rift in their conversation and bonding that might stop Charles and Whit from growing as close as they did. And, all this isn’t even taking into account that–

Whit receives Charles’ secret

Did you ever notice that Whit and Charles’ secrets are both about a hidden dead relative? I didn’t put two and two together until now, but boy does it work out poorly for purposes of this AU.

Much like Levi with Ace’s secret, I don’t think this is an inherently bad draw for Whit, but it kinda sucks in this context. Whit gets placed into a really weird trolley problem: do you tell and comfort Charles about his dead brother when it’ll definitely segue into discussions of your own dead mom, or do you keep it hidden, not helping Charles and leaving yourself open to the possibility of him feeling betrayed later that you kept this secret from him? It’s these kinds of questions that Whit would be forced to ask himself in the moment that Charles first confronts him, and the time needed to process would only throw him off his game and make him appear more suspicious to Charles.

To be fair, a lot of this does depend on how deep in the lie Whit is. Is he usually pretty quick to admit that his mom is dead to anyone who digs deeper into the issue, or has he been lying about his mom’s status to everyone, his father included? If it’s more like the former, then maybe the two of them could actually come to bond over the tragedy of losing someone you care about. But, if it’s more like the latter, then this distribution of secrets could get in the way of one of the (seemingly) most stable and healthy relationships in the killing game.

Arei receives Arturo’s secret

At first, I actually considered giving Arturo’s secret to Arei in the good universe, because I thought that Arei could understand having complicated relationships with your sisters. But then I remembered something critically important. Arei herself is the younger sister. She wouldn’t relate to Arturo; she would relate to Felicity. And then, all hell would break loose.

Arei knows what it’s like to be a younger sister who, even if she never considered it herself, had other people try to pressure her into committing suicide. So, to have a younger sister lucky enough to actually have a big brother she cared about, only for him to leave her alone and cause her death? Arei would be furious. She would absolutely call him out for it immediately, and use all of the bullying tactics she learned to make his life a living hell.

Despite all that I wrote about what Hu would do with Arei’s secret, I don’t actually know if Hu would be more or less likely to share Arei’s secret if Arei was acting this way. Would Hu take it upon herself to join in shaming Arturo for his actions, or feel that Arei was being a hypocrite and want to share Arei’s own truth? Either way, with both of these secrets, I think that the option of Arei’s character growing at all (or becoming friends with Eden) any time soon is pretty much dead.

And then there’s Arturo himself. While we’ve seen that Arturo does genuinely seem remorseful and haunted by Felicity’s death, I doubt Arei would know or care. I also totally think that J would join Arei in absolutely demolishing the man. Having Arei’s offense be backed by the Julia Rosales might just break him. Whether it would be in a victim way or a killer way I’m not sure, but it would definitely be bad for funni beauty standards man. The good news is that it might stop Arei from dying…? Unless Arturo just decided to kill her. There really isn’t a lot of good news.

David receives Veronika’s secret

Alright, back to David and Veronika. This is the third time I’ve had two people just swap their secrets, I guess? And, it’s kinda for the same reasons again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Since we’ve been through a lot since we last discussed this pair, let’s get a quick recap: Veronika knows that David is a manipulative bastard, but won’t tell anyone that yet because she thinks it’ll be more interesting if she keeps her mouth shut. Thus, everyone is kind of wary of David, and David is definitely wary of Veronika, but not so much that it stops David from doing his information-seeking “let’s all share our secrets” plan.

I think that learning this about Veronika would make David pretty confused, very concerned, and extra conscious of Veronika in a way that would be hard to conceal. He could probably guess from the way Veronika was acting that she had some kind of dirt on him, and therefore conclude that, if he ever tried to share her secret, she might just fire back at him. David does not want that. So, the two of them remain at an uneasy stalemate that would make everyone else increasingly troubled.

Furthermore, I think that Veronika’s secret is a good balance of an unexpected yet potentially relevant piece of information about a living student that David would want to seek more of, while also not being so grim that it would appeal to whatever morals David may have. (Don’t get me wrong, Veronika’s secret is very worrying and tragic, but at least the inclusion of “for fun” makes it less grim than Arturo’s or Hu’s, to me.) David would be inclined to continue on his quest of acquiring the most knowledge-as-power as possible, and Veronika would be thrilled to watch! Both of them would just be giving off… really weird vibes about it.

Nico receives Hu’s secret

(extra suicide TW just in case)

If I say anything offensive or incorrect in this section, I deeply apologize. I don’t mean to portray either of these characters, their issues, or people who relate to them or their issues in a bad light, and I definitely don’t mean to demonize mentally ill people. The reasoning behind why I think it would be bad for Nico to get Hu’s secret is complicated, and may be based on uninformed thoughts or unfounded projections. However, based on what I do “know,” I think it makes sense, so I’ll try to explain myself as best I can.

Basically, I think that receiving Hu’s secret would be bad for Nico because it might make Nico less likely to speak up for themselves when Hu talks over them. If I were Nico, I might be worried about reacting too strongly to what Hu is doing, and accidentally sending her back into the hopeless state of her childhood. Just interacting with Hu in general might lead someone (like David) to start questioning Nico about the secret they received, and cause the information to accidentally leak out. It would make Nico saying anything on how Hu was acting difficult.

Again, I am not trying to villainize Hu, or mandate that you have to walk on eggshells around suicidal people because they’re loose cannons or whatever. I just think that, especially for someone as uncomfortable with socialization with Nico, navigating the sensitive subject of past suicide attempts in this incredibly hostile bad AU environment might prevent them from speaking up for themselves when they’re feeling belittled. And, that would be bad for their personal development.

I wish we could move on to something happier to combat these bad vibes, but unfortunately, we still have a couple more to go.

“Min” receives Rose’s secret

Well, at least we can cool down a little bit with this one. Not a ton going on here; basically just that Rose’s secret is pretty lowkey and I could cause more damage with other secrets elsewhere. I don’t think it would cause a particular stir with either other students becoming paranoid or Rose’s characterization and growth. I suppose that, without the excuse of being able to explain her past, Rose probably wouldn’t have had that chance to vent to Teruko, which was probably a good experience for her? The conflict-avoidant Rose will be suffering enough with all the turmoil going on around her, methinks.

Eden receives Nico’s secret

Make no mistake, this is not a decision made to hurt Nico. It’s meant to hurt Eden. With her compassionate heart and non-judgmental attitude, Eden is a great draw for any secret-holder to have in order to not cause trouble. That’s why I thought that the best move here was to use the secret as an offensive weapon to lessen her impact, as well as preventing a more problematic secret from being absorbed into her positive vibes.

Eden’s greatest secret is that she’s a lesbian, and she fears that people will come to hate her or discriminate against her if they find out about her identity. Therefore, the worst thing to do to her is to affirm those fears by shoving the homophobia someone else suffered in her face. Learning that Nico was mocked for their identity would make Eden less confident in hers, and might dampen her spirit enough that some of the good effects of her optimism are negated. She might become more hesitant to discuss secrets and more fearful of her peers, knowing that one of them probably knows about her identity and could use it against her at any time. Little does she know, it’s actually in the morgue alongside the Ultimate Rebel.

But, the fact that is just further feeds into my idea from Xander’s section. If Eden has just been reminded of how cruel the world can be to LGBTQ+ people, she wouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to reveal which secret was hers. This would 1) allow another troublemaker to perhaps successfully claim it as their own, 2) make Eden look suspicious as she tries to come up with a solid lie of her own, and 3) postpone or deny (if Eden dies on a short timeframe) Eden’s ability to feel comfortable in herself.

Also (not to say that David forcing Nico to share their secret was a good thing), if Nico’s secret never becomes available to the public, they might have to go through the rest of their time in the killing game getting misgendered. Diversity loss!

J receives Teruko’s secret

J could stay quiet for a lot of things, but I feel like if she knew who the mastermind was (assuming she doesn’t know that she herself is the mastermind), that’s something she wouldn’t stay quiet about. I think that J at least wanted to see Teruko as her friend, given that she approached Teruko on the day she tested out her universal remote and roped Teruko in as part of her plan to get away from Arturo. Teruko double-crossing J by “being the mastermind” would, I think, be enough of a betrayal that J would set out seeking answers. Publicly.

Teruko, having just seen Xander’s secret, is also in a terrible mood, meaning that her ability to defend herself against J’s accusations and keep a cool head would be lessened, and possibly devolve into a screaming match. This would send the students down the incorrect(?) path as to the mastermind’s identity, further encourage Teruko to distance herself from everyone else, and cause J to lose faith in one of the few people she liked just before Arturo starts to get on her ass. Needless to say, the group would be in shambles.

That was rough, but we’re finally done. Let’s take a look at how things shook out.

(Once again, I really didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Charles’ dead brother? A little treat for everyone who believes Whit is evil, I suppose.)

Blech. Even though torturing characters can be fun sometimes, speculating about the worst case scenario isn’t usually the kind of energy that I like to bring to this blog. Hopefully I was able to deliver something satisfactorily devastating, though!

As a final note, assigning all these secrets to everyone did get me thinking a little about what would have happened in this chapter if the motive had gone as planned, and everyone had gotten their own secrets. While it obviously wouldn’t have been as good as the good universe, I do think that people learning of their own secrets is a lot better than many of the bad scenarios that could have been created with a shuffle. Charles and Teruko definitely would have been a bit thrown, but at least in Charles’ case, I don’t know if it would have resulted in murder.

In my opinion, I think it’s probably most likely that David or Nico would have killed? David obviously cares a lot about his career and the prospect of his secret being shared with the world, so he could have tried to ride his good social graces and fake “family history of depression” secret to a Class Trial clear. Nico also has a lot to worry about with their secret getting out, and, already facing pressure from Ace’s bullying, it’s possible they would have made the same decision to kill Ace if Ace’s harassment continued. I suppose this is a question I can ask back at ya, Gremlyn, if you feel inclined to answer! :D And, thank you for the ask. Even if it got a little bleak, I had fun with it.

Stay safe and happy out there, everyone, and make sure your deepest, darkest secret doesn’t get handed to your worst enemy. Or really, just try to avoid entering a killing game at all. Until next time~

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #oh boy it's a post where i actually have to tag everyone. here we go: #teruko tawaki #xander matthews #charles cuevas #ace markey #arei nageishi #rose lacroix #hu jing #eden tobisa #levi fontana #arturo giles #min jeung #david chiem #veronika grebenshchikova #j rosales #whit young #nico hakobyan #fanganronpa #cw suicide mention #cw self harm #now i am thinking about the secrets again... might have more to say on that later #theory asks are fun they keep giving me something to talk about when i don't have other plans for the blog #maybe i'll write about another fangan/series someday..... #my theories

[i-did-not-mean-to]

FireBird - March

Ah, my dear friend @cilil was so good to send in a couple of requests!

It's my joy and honour to present the first fic to you tonight :D

Prompts: “The worst part is you didn’t even notice” – “I don’t need a gentleman right now.” – Responsibility – Knight in shining armour

Pairing: Eönwë x Gothmog

Words: 1030

Warnings: Injury, blood, sadness, bad elves, good Eönwë

“Let him be, I’ll take care of it,” Eönwë called, feeling the back of his neck heat up as the despicable half-truth crossed his dry lips.

Nobody had expected the co-habitation of once inveterate foes to be easy, and Eönwë even secretly believed that Manwë could and should have been more discouraging when it came to the outright hostile behaviour towards the reformed former denizens of Angband.

Unfortunately, the reality turned out to be much worse than anything the kind-hearted herald had ever imagined.

“Milord,” the group of reembodied Elves muttered and withdrew reluctantly.

It was forbidden for the Balrogs to travel in groups, and much too often resentful, unforgiving members of the High Houses liked to corner Melkor’s fallen servants and harass them cruelly.

“Away with you,” Eönwë called sternly. “Leave it to me!”

Of course, Eönwë did not doubt that any of the fearsome Maiar could have defended themselves against a few puny incarnates, but he took his role as a keeper of the peace very seriously.

Moreover, he was eager for this one Balrog in particular to understand that he was on his side, as much as that was even possible anymore.

“Bird,” Gothmog purred, leaning heavily against a boulder, and trying to angle his body so as to dissimulate the minor wounds the group of pesky troublemakers had inflicted upon him. “Have you come to chide me? I swear upon my honour that I’ve not laid a single claw upon your precious Children.”

At that ludicrous declaration, Eönwë let his frown deepen disapprovingly.

He knew Manwë’s stipulations only too well—after all, he had been the one tasked to convey them to the unfortunate souls they concerned—but, in his heart of hearts, he nevertheless much regretted to see his friend and lover hurt because of a set of cold, unfeeling rules.

“You’re allowed to defend yourself against those who’d seek to harm you,” he murmured insistently.

“And risk your displeasure, beloved? From your sweet lips came the ordinance to renounce my evil ways, and I shall do so, no matter the cost to my health and heart,” Gothmog replied calmly.

Unfortunately, his efforts at clumsy gallantry were considerably hampered by the fact that he was by now slowly slumping under the strain of desperately pretending that he was perfectly hale and happy.

“You look particularly appetising today, bird,” Gothmog tried to assuage the worry in the bright, sky-blue eyes of his most cherished enemy. “I mean, you look handsome.”

Eru’s long-haired pet meat bags might never have understood it, but there were truths and affinities sung into creation that far transcended their very limited interpretation of beauty and affection.

Thus, it had come to pass that these fierce warriors—having fought ferociously on opposite fronts in a seemingly eternal war—had ultimately found well-deserved peace in one another.

As all star-crossed lovers were wont to asseverate, they naturally were willing to selflessly die for the other.

Living, they’d soon found out, was a much more arduous and treacherous challenge.

Ever diligent to the point of undeniable stubbornness, Gothmog had decided that he’d use his new-found freedom to give Eönwë what he clearly yearned for so desperately: a proper romantic courtship.

“Could I interest you in a leisurely stroll by the river then?” the Balrog asked in a forcibly level voice.

“Don’t be silly,” Eönwë exclaimed. “You are injured! This is hardly the moment for pleasant walks by the water. Let me see!”

Indeed, the herald’s heart ached as he glimpsed the superficial but undoubtedly painful gashes marring Gothmog’s precious, gleaming hide.

“I shall have words with them,” he grumbled, gnashing his flawless teeth.

“Do not trouble yourself on my account, my sweetling,” Gothmog assured him quickly as he tried to squirm away from the inquisitive fingers ghosting across his skin and threatening to undo his carefully constructed façade of good manners and gentle words.

“They are my responsibility,” Eönwë opined. “And so are you, you foolhardy creature! If you will not defend yourself, will you at least promise to call for me if this ever happens again?”

His stern gaze softened, and his pursed lips relaxed into a charming smile. “I quite like being your knight in shining armour.”

As if embarrassed by his own confession, he drew his wings up defensively.

“Keep talking,” Gothmog drawled. The cocky, teasing grin he flashed Eönwë now was genuine, despite his tangible discomfort.

“You’re not the only one who’s trying to impress by putting his best foot forward, and the worst thing is, you didn’t even notice…” Eönwë complained softly, rubbing a blood-stained hand along his chiselled jaw shamefacedly.

“What do you believe has escaped my notice? How competently you’ve handled this situation, getting rid of these unwelcome intruders with aplomb and grace? Or your indescribable beauty as you arrived on the scene like an avenging entity made of summer bliss and autumn storms? You underestimate me, my winged wonder, for I am humbled by every awe-inspiring detail of your appearance and demeanour!”

“Humbug,” Eönwë mumbled, flattered despite suspecting that he was being lovingly mocked. “I don’t need a gentleman right now, Gothmog. Tell me how bad it is…Should I bring you to Estë?”

“Pah! Estë!” Gothmog guffawed. “What for? To be fussed over endlessly? ‘tis but a scratch, I tell you.”

Lifting his arm slowly, he cupped Eönwë’s cheek tenderly. “Please, believe me when I say that neither your entirely unnecessary preoccupation nor your gentle care has gone unnoticed.”

Beneath the soothing, healing caress of the one he loved against all odds and despite the bitter feud engraved into their very souls, Gothmog finally relaxed.

“When you arrived, I couldn’t help thinking how marvellous it is to see you appear like a ray of sun cutting through the blinding, burning mist of battle and to know that you’ve not come to smite me.”

“I am on your side, you know?” Eönwë whispered, curling up against the living heat of the terrible fire demon.

“There are no sides anymore,” Gothmog reminded him, quoting the announcement that had allowed them to meet and reconnect once more.

“Nevertheless…”

“Yes,” Gothmog yawned, slinging his arm around his beloved hero. “Thank you!”

-> Masterlist

Lots of love from me! (I shall be busy this weekend, but I theoretically am still willing to write something for this <3)

@fellowshipofthefics You didn't think that I'd skip this one, did you? LOL

#og post #Fanfiction #writing #IDNMT writes #jrrt #Tolkien fanfiction #Luck of the Draw #March event #FOTFICS March 2024 #FireBird #Eönwë x Gothmog #Eönwë #Gothmog #text prompt #Responsibility #Knight in shining armour #for Cílil

[pluralprompts]

kins and headmates are not the same thing. "kin" (otherkin/therian/fictionkin) has nothing to do with systems/plurality and i would seriously suggest you avoid putting the kin tag on posts that are supposed to be about plurality/systems. we already get told that we're faking it for attention/that its a choice/that its a made up disorder, we really dont need people conflating kin (which is valid but not related to systems at all) with systems. kin and system terms are not interchangeable. if a post is about both then fair game but please do not act like we are the same thing

Are you referring to the post that can be about headmates who are bunnies because they're bunny/rabbit extranths and/or because they're bunnykin/rabbitkin? Or in other words, are you referring to a prompt that can be about 'kin headmates? That's the post you want me to "avoid putting the kin tag on"? ... You do know systems and headmate can be 'kin, right? I find it strange (and kind of insulting) that you think a post about systems that can be interpreted as being about a rabbitkin headmate is conflating systems and 'kin. Again, systems can be otherkin and headmates can be otherkin, and thus I use 'kin tags on prompts that reference, involve, or focus on that, since those tags are relevant for those prompts. This prompt can be used as inspiration to write about a rabbitkin headmate, so the 'kin tag is applicable.

In other words, the post is about both systems and 'kin. It's not conflating terms or communities to take an experience that's shared by both extranths and 'kin and go "here's this thing that you can write about in either context" (not to mention headmates can be both extranths and 'kin at the same time, too). My tags reflect just some of millions of different directions in which a prompt can be taken. In this case, one of the more prominent directions a prompt could be taken is interpreting the headmate in question as rabbitkin, so I tagged the post with "kin" to reflect that. The fact that another likely interpretation of the prompt is to see the headmate in question as a rabbit extranth does not mean I, or anyone else, are implying extranths and 'kin are the same thing, or conflating plurality and 'kinity. It just means the prompt can be interpreted in many different ways.

Honestly, I find it insulting that you think I, a system with various headmates that are otherkin, and whom actively participates in both communities, would be conflating the two just to add extra, unnecessary tags to a post, especially since you can look very quickly and easily at the rest of my blog and find I only use 'kin when it could possibly be applicable to a prompt. This ask also kind of implies you don't think systems or individual headmates can be 'kin, which could be a misunderstanding on either end, but it hurts, to be implicitly denied my own 'kinity due to my plurality, when these are both very important parts of my identity and life. It feels like you saw the 'kin tag and immediately rushed to my inbox to get mad at me without thinking for two seconds. Next time, perhaps take a breath and ask yourself if you're assuming the worst of someone.

Sometimes, a prompt is just about systems, plurals, or specific headmates who happen to be 'kin. Your concerns are unfounded.

Edit: forgot to add that for some folks, their kintypes and headmates are the same thing, and for them, those terms are interchangeable. Some interpret their 'kinity through a plural perspective, or don't draw a hard line between a median headmate and a kintype, for instance. For these people, 'kin has everything to do with systems/plurality, and trying to insist the two are never interconnected is only going to hurt them. I refuse to cast out my fellow 'kin and systems over a single tag on a single prompt, of all things.

#asks #not a prompt #this ask feels just like? insulting? and it's very confusing to me #but I just woke up and 1st thing I see on tumblr is someone scolding me for tagging u.nnecessary things for a.ttention or whatever?? #babe I a.ssure you I am very careful with my t.agging sometimes it's not that deep #sometimes we are just both p.lural and k.in

[verdelian]

Kagumo Week Day 5: Bunnies | Wolves

@kagumo-events

Truly, this is cursed.

Bonus Kakashi being born:

#is this allowed? #edit #kagumo #kagumoweek2021 #kaguya otsutsuki #sakumo hatake #kakashi hatake #naruto #chris (simpsons artist) #are your eyes ok? #obviously this isn't my work but... #i strive to inflict psychic damage when i can #thus i interpreted the prompt in one of the worst ways possible

[astriefer]

If you want to, how about prompt 36 with thomastair?? 🤍

Prompt 36 - "Don't move. it'll be okay."

Thank you for this ask!! This is so terribly late but I hope it's enough for you. This is really bad because I had inspiration and then it died and then assignments and family and I'm running late. But... just in time for holiday! So have this piece please 🙏 Didn't check it too much so sorry for type errors and such thank you

TW throwing up and illness.

When the Merry Thieves had gotten the message Thomas wouldn't join them that day, they were suspicious.

"It's not Thomas's handwriting," Matthew said thoughtfully to James and Christopher.

Christopher fixed his spectacles on his nose and took a glance at the parchment. "But who wrote it if not Thomas?"

As always, the group of Thieves (lacking Thomas) was hanging around the Herondale manor. Cordelia and Lucie had gone to train together, and Effie was busy preparing titbits and coffee for them. They waited for Thomas to approach in all his giant glory, half-predicted him to come with Christopher, but he did not arrive. After half an hour, and just as Matthew complained, "Had Thomas gotten himself kidnapped in the course of the night?" a runner came at the front door. The message he carried was what they had been looking at for the past few minutes.

James shrugged. "Alastair, I assume," his golden eyes scanned the carefully written words. "They do live together."

"It claims him to be feeling unwell," Matthew said. "Do you think it's because he finally realized what a nuisance Alastair is?"

James gave him a look. "Matthew."

"It's in good spirits!" Matthew defended, raising his hands. When James still looked at him pointedly, he lowered his hands and murmured. "To some extent."

James sighed. As long as he didn't say it in front of Thomas, Cordelia, or Alastair himself, he concluded it wasn't the worst thing. They were civil with each other's presence, which was progress. He couldn't be mad at Matthew anyhow. He placed the paper down, regarded his friend with a shrug.

"What ho," Christopher said. "Your definitions for good spirits may cross the traditional ones."   

"Well, it's not my fault the ordinary interpretations are substantially dull," Matthew retorted.

Christopher hummed and stopped paying attention, seemingly engrossed in a new idea of an invention that must have captured his mind. Matthew gave him a fond smile and then cut his gaze back to James. "So, are we going?"

"Where?" James asked as Matthew stood up. His parabatai straightened his double-breasted waistcoat, which had decorations of an exotic animal on it.

He must have looked dumbfounded because Matthew added kindly, "Oh, Jamie bach," Matthew clicked his tongue at him. "Can you truly believe Thomas is sick?"

"That's what written here," he tapped on the papyrus. Matthew clicked his tongue again. His eyes were shining dangerously. "I know that look. What ill thing your mind hallucinated this time?"

"Everything I think of is a masterpiece, mind you. And clearly," Matthew said, leaning forward in his seat, "He scribbled some poor excuse to spend time with Alastair. But he said he would come. And if he won't come to us, we will come to him. So we shall step up to their flat and demand our Thomas."

"It doesn't sound like Thomas to fake such a thing." James's eye deterred away to the clock on the wall. He had the idea if it was something else, not a possibility of Thomas favoring Alastair's company over theirs, it would die silently. 

"It sounds a bit petty," Christopher noted. His hands tapped on the floor, fingers twisting as if he desired to be in Henry's lab and write down his findings.  

"It's not," Matthew promised. "We needn't have a reason to see Thomas. Besides, don't you want to tell him about your latest experiment?"

Christopher's eyes lit up at that. He shoved his spectacles up his nose, nodding. "Yes, it would be good. I made some progress he should be filled in about."

"Great!" Matthew commented. "Let's go."

"Poor Kit," James teased as he got up. "You use science to tempt him?" 

"I have no clue what you are talking about," Matthew graced him with a brilliant smile."I merely harness the power of science for my good deeds."

~~~~

As it turned out, unwell was an underestimate.

"What are you doing here?" Alastair asked when he opened the door of the flat. James was a bit stunned to see how disheveled and bedraggled he looked, a stark contrast to his usual display. His clothes were rumpled and crumpled and he looked awfully gassed.

The three soon cut free of their astonishment, and Christopher talked first. "Hullo, Alastair. We have come to see Thomas."

Alastair blinked but otherwise remained still. "I delivered you a message. He isn't feeling well."

"We had an essential piece of enlightenment to share with him," Matthew supplied. Alastair gave him an indifferent look.

"He isn't feeling well," Alastair repeated. James started to think it was a bad idea to come - Alastair clearly wasn't fancy to usher them inside. From inside the flat, a smell of soup traveled in the air.

Matthew's green eyes faced Alastair's unabashedly. "Why, let us see him, then. There's nothing our engaging presence can't aid. Tom will be feeling much better if he sees us."

"He needs to rest, not play games with his friends-"

A broad-shouldered figure came behind him, towering over him. " 'm fine."

Matthew wasn't the only one with a twisted interpretation of rudimentary words, apparently. James was fairly sure 'fine' shouldn't mean being so pale or to have big bruises-like black shadows under your eyes; nor did he think someone feeling fine should be looking so lightheaded and sick. Thomas's moss of light brown hair was mussed and tousled. He looked, frankly, even worse than Alastair - sweaty and tapped up.

"Thomas?" James asked.

The tall man shifted his gaze to James rather slowly. Instantaneously he realized Thomas was leaning his hand against the wall for support, and not for the sake of doing it. He was unsteady. "Greetings. I was going to get ready and come by your house, James."

"You should be in bed," Alastair protested.

Thoams's stance was defensive. "I am plenty fine, thank you, I don't need any rest in bed."

A muted sigh escaped Alastair's lips. He glanced at the three of them. "May you put some reason into him? You could at least do that after turning up here."

"I am standing right here," Thomas pointed out. He sounded almost too drained-out to resist. Alastair seemed unimpressed.

Christopher hesitated. "You do look a bit green around the gills, Tom."

"You look liverish, and not in a neat way," Matthew added.

"You have no need to dot on me," Thomas insisted. Annoyance took over his features. "I have rested enough. I shall-"

He cut off abruptly, gagging. He turned over back into the apartment, a hand over his stomach, and ran inside.  With a last skeptical glance thrown toward them, Alastair charged after Thomas.

James stood in front of the front door, bewildered, till Matthew passed him and flung the door open for them to enter.

Christopher followed with no protest. "What?" Matthew asked when James shot him a dark look. "They left the door open, thus I regard it as an invitation to permit ourselves inside."

With that philosophy in mind, they passed the corridor into the parlor. Accompany to the horrible sound of vomiting - James guessed it was Thomas's part - they could catch a low, soothing murmur of calming words. Alastair.

"You were wrong," Christopher said as he turned to Matthew. His voice was not self-righteous whatsoever, just matter-of-factly and troubled. "He is feeling ill."

Matthew seemed abashed, just slightly. "I wouldn't have been aghast if told he wanted to spend time with his lover."

They settled themselves nervously on the Aegean-blue sofa.  As a few minutes passed -  slow, confused, and worried - the sound of retching had finally petered out. They heard the noise of the water goes down the toilet.

"You think we should check whether they are fine?" Christopher asked.

"He honked up all he ate for breakfast. He must need to collect himself, and we should let him - unless you think he can somehow drown himself in the seek of the toilet." Matthew pondered over the last part amusingly.

Christopher seemed satisfied with the answer, and he cut his gaze back to the corridor through Thomas and Alastair had disappeared.

When he finally came back into the parlor, he limply made his way to the sofa, bearly holding himself straight. He hung his head low, sweat pooled on his neck and forehead and glimmered on his cheeks. His face reminded James of a red balloon, shiny and oddly red.

"Are you all right?" James inquired when he finally sat. Thomas made no sudden movements as he decisively faced them. It was clear as day Thomas, by all means, was not all right.

"Yes," he said. Matthew, James, and Christopher exchanged concerned looks between them. Alastair had not returned yet. "I must have eaten something spoiled."

"Are you sure?" Matthew pressed. "You still look dreadful."

"Surely I couldn't guess it," Thomas quipped.

"We can entertain you, though," Matthew pondered, giving him a smirk. "You stay in bed, and we will keep you a worthy company."

Thomas moved in his place, uncomfortable. Christopher, on the other way, smiled at Thomas. "Mam and Aunt Charlotte said I could use the lab tomorrow morning if there will be someone with me. The enclave has an important meeting early that day, and even Henry attends."

Thomas seemed grateful for the change of topic. Mattew said, "We might go and eavesdrop in case something interesting will come up."

"I will be there first thing tomorrow," Thomas avowed, although none of them asked him to. Thomas succumbs to a brutal coughing fit, and It was at that moment Alastair approached from the corridor.

"You need to rest," Alastair chided.

Thomas commnented hastily. "You are over-worried. I am fine."

"You're behaving frivolously," he proclaimed. "You ought to relax and rest, not to run around with your friend as if you are not sick."

"I'm just tired."

Alastair gave him an incredulous stare. "Really, you," he scolded wearily. "Utter madness, what that mouth of you blurts out." The dark-haired man turned over to the kitchen. Then he turned again. Alastair's dark gaze moved to the rest of the Merry Thieves. "You could at least bring a soup or medicine," he countered.

Matthew lifted his arms mockingly as if to surrender. "I am sorry, O great lord, that I didn't know how sick Thomas was. From your message, he could also have a slight headache."

Alastair scoffed and went into the kitchen. Mattew shot a look at Christopher and James, who nodded. he returned his eyes on Thomas.

"Hark, I, for once, agree with Carstairs. An advent I thought I would ever do. But I do think you should stay in bed."

"Shan't." Thomas regarded the idea of being treated by others with disdain. he rubbed his eyes, mumbling under his breath. "I am fine," he insisted. "I can hang out with you."

Alastair came back into the room, placing himself next to the sofa Thomas was resting on. He put down a large bowl. Haze of steams rose from the Broth. "Eat this. Then you go to bed."

Thomas's glare snitched up at him. He rubbed his eyes wearily.  "I am fine," he repeated. "I am already feeling better."

The look Alastair gave him made it clear he wasn't buying it. "Bed." Alastair crossed his hands on the chance and his gaze determined. "I am not supposed to teach you how to take care of yourself. So eat the soup and go to bed.

Thomas's grumpy mood seemed to worsen. He would've thrown hands if he hadn't felt so indisposed. "I can take care of myself."

"So don't be so stubborn and do as I say."

"It doesn't sound like taking care of oneself," Thomas grumbled. He coughed again into his forearm."And you're not my mother." 

"A very fine observation. No, I'm your partner," he gave Thomas a meaningful look. "So either you eat the soup or expect to get it shoved down your throat."

"That you very better not do."

Christopher looked at Thomas with concern. "You do not look good, Tom. You should rest."

Thomas sighed inconspicuously. It was tenuous confidence he held against them. "You too, kit?"

"As he should," Alastair sneered. He was losing patience. "Stop playing around, and drink your bloody soup."

Thomas grunted, his back straightening. He seemed dizzy and ready to tell Alastair off once again, before he gaped loudly. He must have felt queasy for he scrambled to his feet, fighting his nausea to make it to the bathroom. He almost knocked into a wall.

James glanced at Alastair, who had been mumbling grumpily under his breath, for a moment just watching his swaying partner with distaste. His dark hair flew as he followed him, for the second time since James and the other Marry Thieves arrived, to the bathroom. They followed their ailing friend and the scaling man dashing after him, then looked at each other. 

Christopher looked baffled, "Why would Tom resist so much to rest in bed?"

Matthew shrugged, furrowing his brows. "I can't fathom a reason for him to be that way," He cringed as the sounds of retching reverberated from the other room."He's supposed to be the reasonable one between us lot."

"Poor Tom," James said. "Maybe because he is so terribly ill he can't get hold of reality."

In the meantime, James investigated the furnishing of the drawing-room, which was unadorned. He drifted over to a colossal bookcase at the corner of the room, full of books in English, Persian, and Spanish (and some other languages he could not tell). He traced the spines of the books and glanced at his friends. Matthew was animatedly talking with Christopher, who tried to listen, even though it was clear to James that it was only half-hearted. He mused over browsing briefly at a shabby, worn copy of Hamlet when the noises from the other room finally stopped.

After a few minutes with no noises at all coming from the corridor, James stood up. "I will check on them," he told his friend, "Maybe Thomas passed out, or he is in distress."

Matthew and Christopher were up on their feet in the bare minimum of time. "We shall come as well."

"We won't fit there, all of us," James mentioned. Thomas would've felt better if they all would come and help take care of him, he was sure, but facts were facts. "Just let me see if he needs anything from us."

The other thrives reluctantly sat back on the sofa. In quiet, stealthy steps, he headed into the candle-lit corridor. He moved past some doors - their bedrooms, he assumed, or a library, perhaps. He stopped when he reached an open door, meaning to knock first to announce his presence, but it flew his mind when he poked his hand into the bathroom. He absentmindedly noted the porcelain clawfoot tub, the decorated primrose tiles, and the wallpaper - intricate floral trace and lines in moderate colors, which he pondered over who of the two men chose. There was also a high-level cistern toilet, Thomas leaning on its ream seat. A washbasin stood nearby, and Alastair was taking a flannel and dipping it in water before he handed it to Thomas. The unpleasant smell of vomit still stung the air.

Thomas's laid with his half-lidded eyes cracked a bit more open, still regaining his breath, and took the flannel. He managed to wash his face as Alastair took care to clean any mess created. Then he knelt in front of Thomas. Thomas pulled Alastair close weakly, buried his face in Alastair's chest. James could hear he was breathing deep and long, trying to control his upset stomach. He moved very little, very carefully, trying to shield his eyes from the light that shone in the room.

"Tom," Alastair said, surprisingly gently, unlike before. Suddenly James felt he was invading their privacy. "Hold on and cease for once in your life. You need to rest."

Thomas did not move nor talked, and James had the idea he fought back another gagging.

"Hamsar-am," Alastair tried again after Thomas seemed to curb the urge to regurgitate. "Why won't you rest?"

His friend talked tentatively and out of breath, his voice dry and hoarse and quivering. "I don't want everyone to chip around me like I'm some sickly fledgling. If my parents knew, they might even make a silent brother come. Being like this - reminds me of times I was sickly and small and weak. But I am a shadow hunter. I am an adult. I am sick of people thinking I'm incapable of taking care of myself."

James studied Alastair's face. To his grand surprise, he saw his face softens. Tenderly, he pressed their forehead together. "I am more than confidant you can take care of yourself, Thomas. I just try to assist and make you more comfortable, but we go nowhere if you fight me on every single decision. Drinking soup and resting in bed is something all people do. It helps you to get better."

Thomas's eyes were unfocused. "Sorry."

James wasn't certain to what of it all Thomas was sorry for, but Alastair seemed to accept it. He sighed breathly, backing away from Thomas. "It's fine. Just let yourself rest, shall you? I still have a desire to -" he cut off when his eyes captured James, who leaned on the doorframe. "James."

James bolted straight and made sure his countenance revealed nothing as if he did not hear the conversation between the couple. "We will take out leave, see as you go and rest, Tom. We will come to check on you tomorrow."

Someone came behind him, and he found Christopher and Matthew looking into the bathroom. "We will tell Aunt Sophie and Uncle Gideon you are sick," Matthew intervened. "They can bring you some food and take care of you. Lucie will be glad to tell of the last mischiefs of The Beautiful Cordelia. Speaking of which, Lucie will tell her parents, and they will rush to make Brother Zachariah come to visit them-"

"We can also keep quiet," James offered. Thomas's words echoed in his head. He looked at Alastair. "I suppose Alastair can be enough of caretaker. But do tell us if you need anything. Alright, Tom?"

Alastair gave him an odd look, almost appreciation - but not precisely - on Thomas's behalf. The latter had only nodded his thanks and seemed relieved by James's offer.

"Recover quickly," Christopher said, his spectacles reflecting the light. Behind of them was a pair of caring eyes."There is just so much we Thieves can do without our heart."

~~~~

The Merry Thieves bid their goodbye and Alastair went to accompany them out, while Thomas made his way to their bedroom.

They had two bedrooms, one for each of them, despite they spent the nights together. He chose to go to Alastair's room, where his smell was strong and comforting. His steps were fatigue, his mind racing and hammering. The sunlight felt like a blow to his face, making his stomach perilously twist and turn. He wasn't sure he had left any contents to honk up. He was iffy and aching, couldn't find the power to shut the curtains close. Alastair's bed - wide enough for the both of them - was too compelling to resist. He grunted loudly, resting his head on the soft pillows. He felt cold. So cold.

What fought the place of the ill-feeling that settled in every bone of his body was his great dismay from being ill in the first place. Every time he got cold, his parents would worry themselves out as if he still was the sickly child from his childhood days. His friends will all dot on him, Alastair would lay him out for days, everyone will tell him he must rest to heal. And he despised it. He despised it with all his might. Like a rope tightening around his neck, like an invisible cage surrounding him. A cage made of love and care was still a cage, in his mind. Thomas did not like to be incarcerated. This creeping feeling of losing your independence frightened him, reminded him of times he was bedridden, out of necessity for his frequent ill-health.

Thomas didn't notice his eyes were shut until he tilted his head toward a noise - Alastair coming into the room. Thomas heard the door creak quietly, heralding Alastair's presence, and again as he closed it quietly. He felt rather than saw the quilt placed over him, hugging his body, giving a little warmth to the cool world he was in. Not warm enough, however.

"You're lucky you're my favorite," The well-known voice of Alastair mumbled.

They've butted heads around this the whole morning. Thomas refused to stick to bid despite Alastair's stubborn protests. Now, he felt his body turn to halves and his head throbbed as if the Angels gathered and made a party there. He hated Alastair to see him this weak, yet he hated it more to see the pain in his eyes because of his refusals. Thomas stirred in his place, every movement of his head making a new wave of headache hit him. "Stay." He reached his hand and tugged weakly at the fabric of the sleeveshirt of, not truly commending as asking.

"I will. Wait a moment." Thomas's grip went loose and with that, the half-Persian man disappeared again. He shifted, despite his throbbing head, so he could leave some place for Alastair to lay next to him. He moved slowly and painfully, fighting on every inch he could force himself to move. He hearkened Alastair marching back into their bedroom.

 He tried to leave some space for Alastair. "Don't move," Alastair's tender voice cut through the void. "It'll be okay." Then a wet cloth softly landing against his forehead. 

Cold.

He shivered. He tried to whisper "cold" but he felt no energy left in his body to protest. His eyes were heavy, his tongue even more so. "This is chiefly for your own good," Alastair comforted apologetically. "You are burning." He climbed to bed from the other side of the bed, slipping under the beddings and placing himself close to Thomas. It slipped from Thomas's mind beds had two sides.

Thomas's jumble of thoughts wandered freely anywhere and nowhere - he couldn't put enough effort into imagining, it just made the constant thumping in his head worse. A warm hand was tentatively wrapped around his chest. Alastair put effort into hugging him lightly as possible, offering the warmth Thomas was seeking. He tucked himself a bit closer to Thomas, pressed a soft kiss to his head, then sunk into the bed. The heat Alastair radiated was drugging, and the arm which rested on his chest felt more comforting than any other thing the world could offer. He tried to breathe but the feeling of bile rising in his throat made him stop.

Alastair must have noticed because he backed away from him. "I put a bucket down your side, in case you have any food to get rid of," he acknowledged.  His presence was calming and needed. Thomas wanted to apologize for being so stubborn, to tell him he appreciated him and what he did for him. When he tried, he could not force himself to speak up, his vocal cords exhausted, and he wanted nothing but to let his mind slip into nothingness. He could not. Thomas felt drowsy, the strings of sleep dragging him into a feverish slumber.

Alastair removed his arm and his weight abruptly shifted, and the cloth had been taken away from Thomas's forehead. He startled, fighting to open his eyes, and then it was back, cold and piercing, and Alastair returned his hand to hug him. He felt a soft graze against his cheek - Alastair's lips - that ignited fire where it touched, just like his arm, making it a little less freezing. They kept resting in an awful silence for a few more minutes. Thomas had no problem with silence - he even liked it. Yet, knowing Alastair was watching him, concerned, putting everything aside to take care of him, was unbearable for him. He was supposed to see his mother and sibling today. He was excited to see them. Thomas desperately wanted the stillness to evanesce.  

"Would you like me to read to you?"

Thomas couldn't quite realize how Alastair knew, but he hummed lowly in agreement. The weight beside him lifted, missed instantly before it came back with a small thump.

Alastair began to read. He desired to look at this chiseled face. When he tried to open his eyes, he found he couldn't. A blazing headache stroke him the moment he cracked them the tiniest bit. "Sorry for ruining today," Thomas sputtered. He didn't think he could force any other words to come up his throat.

"I'm here with you, my day can't be ruined. Even if you have a fever and acts like a stubborn fool." Alastair continued to read, Thomas felt himself being carried away to Lady Sleep, a cruel mistress, sometimes, and also a gentle one, if you approach her the right way. He felt himself falling into her arms, the voice of Alastair guiding him to a safe place in the realm of dreams.

#thank youuu #really nice mutuals #thank you for the ask! //^-^// #itsdaughterofthemoon #the last hours #alastair carstairs #tlh #chain of gold #chain of iron #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #thomas lightwood #chog #thomastair #thomastair fics #my fics #sorry its so bad #sorry its so late #I have no time #my writing #writing #mine #asks #fic asks #my fic #fanfiction

[plutoswrath]

I saw that you had an ask where someone was talking about 8th house overlays for platonic relationships and I’ve never seen anyone talk about platonic 8th house before. So I decided to talk with my sister because we actually have a mutual 8th house Mars in synastry. It was insightful as hell and we recognized a pattern because she and I have been surrounded by people with Mars in Pisces, all of which place in my sisters 8th. So we know that 8th house should make you possessive and we would always have to read 8th house synastry and try to interpret it platonically because people always sexualize it. It always talked about being obsessed with each other and being jealous and possessive. For context, my sister is the least jealous, possessive, and obsessive person I know. She has an Aquarius Mars, a lot of 10th house, and she just doesn’t ever feel that way. We both have Pluto in 5th and she only ever obsesses over her interests. BUT we noticed a pattern with every single person who’s Mars placed in her 8th and then other Pisces Mars’ who didn’t. With every 8th house overlay, she was extremely judgmental of who they surrounded themselves with. So with me, if she ever hated my friends that I would introduce to her, she would get mad that I stuck near them. But not because she was jealous, it was because she has her own dislike towards them and she lives by the ‘guilty by association’ saying. And with friends it was the same. She would zone in on who her 8th house overlay friends would hang out with and then if she didn’t approve of them, she’d ditch them. So if her friend hung out with bigoted kids who say racial slurs, sexist comments, etc. then she would immediately judge that friend. My sister said she would talk about certain people and why they weren’t good to surround yourself with and when that friend decided to conform to the bigoted friend group, she would finally cut the friendship off. We also have a mutual Mars in Pisces friend who she does the same thing with, except it’s more innocent. She will judge his friends immediately and they basically have to pass a morale/vibe check lmao. She’s very particular about certain things when it comes to people’s behavior so people rarely ever pass and it’s rather hilarious and light hearted but she will insult them if they do something dumb or are cringe in any way. For more context, my sister is a gifted ADHD Autistic kid so she can be very particular over behavior others will overlook even if they are bothered by them. My sister applies this to other people and we were excited to finally break down how our 8th house synastry and composite manifested because we always hear the worst things about it. We’ve noticed that 8th house is not for the undeveloped and when we see people trash talk it then we begin to raise our eyebrows at the ones who hate it. It may be rather mean of me to say but if people can’t handle 8th house then I think the the problem lies within the individual. My sister enjoys astrology but hates when patterns don’t line up so we basically wanted to thank you for the ask that prompted our deep dive into our 8th house that helped us finally connect and recognize the pattern. We’ve come to love 8th house synastry. On another note you can probably see our 8th house synastry just off of how much I’ve brought her up and love her lol. We have a lot of mutual respect for one another and we noticed that when she was younger she wanted everyone to know I was her sister which may be another little 8th house note. But we have a lot 10th house synastry too so it could just be that mutual respect. Sorry for the tangent but I was excited to share. I hope you’re doing well and I wish you the best.

Disclaimer: long post, continue to read under the cut!

Thank you for sharing your in depth experience and observation. As someone who has two sisters as well and is very very close to them I can understand where you’re coming from. I too share with each of them a strong 8th house synastry and they do so with me too.  I agree that 8th house snyastry doesn’t have to be about jealousy, possession and obsession in the sense that most people think. Peopl assume it’s this dramatic burst of emotions that makes you go ‘oh your are mine’, but one way it can play out is defenitely in the protectivness you get over this person. This protectivness inclines this ‘possessivness/obessesion/jealousy’ if you will. 8th house synastry, especially when placed in personal planets can make two people merge so close together, the bond they share is build on ultimate vulnerability. If something happens or threatens to destroy this bond it’s going to hurt as hell, naturally. We not only have protection of the other person and the bond you share here, but 8th house in synastry talks about merging together and sharing your inner ressources - that’s why this overlay can feel so incredibly empowering (and can become possibly addictive, not being able to cut ties, in worst case scenarios). You are so much in the other persons mind and soul (as you tend to try to figure out the other person, especially the 8th house person), that you naturally care for their well being. You fact check the new people coming in their life, because you exactly know about your friends/partner/sibling vulnerable and raw side and as we all know about the archetype Scorpio: it will sting and even poison you if you try to hurt it. 

That can definitely be one of the 8th house effect. Even if you are not possessive and jealous by nature, the 8th house synastry touches so many sensitive spots, it will awake classic Scorpionic traits in people, sucha scanning for real intentions, waiting to let ones guard down, etc. You might as well just call it serious concern if the situation calls for it that is (!!!), I have not only strong 8th house synastry with my siblings but with a lot of close friends of mine and none of us are possessive, jealous, or any of that sort, but we’re pretty much naturally very much in each others life because we want it like that. We really, really feel  the benefit of this deep bond, because it impowers us and makes us feel safe, because we’re able to and can trust and let go in front of/with the other!  And I will agree with you, 8th house synastry requires individuals who can handle it, or have Scorpio/8th house/Pluto in their own chart and know how to handle it.  I am not excusing and pushing blame on anyone who went through bad experiences here by the way, but I will state that 8th house synastry can be pretty much a blessing, but it does require the ability to either learn or to have knowledge, and the experience, as well as inner ressources on how to deal with it because it is a house that is meant to trigger. This doesn’t mean it is supposed to hurt all the time but chances are you will share very vulnerable moments of any kind with the person you have 8th house synastry with and thus leads to the intimate connection. 

Thank you again for opening this in depth conversation, and I think it’s absolutely sweet how you talk about the connection you have with your sister!! I do bring up my sibling a lot as well, they are my soulmates, so this really warms my heart!! <3 Thank you so much for the kind words as well, I hope you two are doing great as well and wish you only the best! xx

#replies #anonymous #synastry #astrology #8th house synastry #8th house #overlays #8th house overlays #8th house overlay

[beastenraged]

on a follow-up to my previous question, what are your thoughts on eraqus? how do you interpret his actions, and how would you go about writing him, if you needed to do so?

Two main thoughts on Eraqus: he has a tendency to massively overcorrect and he’s deeply shaped by whatever trauma happened to him and Xehanort in KHDR or simply the past if you’re keen on ignoring that canonical backstory.

I’m also going to be talking about Xehanort’s reactions to that same trauma as well, to serve as a contrast to how Eraqus reacts.

(I’m sure this will shift with new KHDR info. For right now, this is what I’ve got. Added with some conjecture based on what we do know.)

When tragedy strikes the two’s fellow students, the usual questions are asked by the survivors: Why did this happen? Could we have prevented this? If so, how?

Xehanort’s beginning answer is that to stop this, we needed more information. Thus prompting the quest that eventually leads to learning more about the X-Blade, Darkness, and the conclusion that the universe is unfair, so we should make a new one in its place with this new knowledge. Even if that means breaking the old rules about using Darkness.

Eraqus’ answer is the exact opposite. Eraqus concludes that this tragedy could have been prevented had they just followed the rules. If their teacher hadn’t broken the rules in sending first years out to find the missing students before they gained their Mastery. If someone hadn’t been playing around with the Book of Prophecies against the rules.

He retreats into orthodoxy where his friend goes heterodoxical. Where previously he had been a bit of a class clown and curious enough to ask questions with Xehanort, he overcorrects to becoming far more serious in demeanor and keeping far more secrets. Enough that his students have no idea what Xehanort is talking about when he says ‘X-Blade’ and also the insistence that you can only learn more when you’re proven your Mastery. Following the idea of people everywhere that if you do good things, follow the rules to do good things, good will happen to you, right?

The change in viewpoints leads to the clash between Xehanort and Eraqus about the X-Blade and using Darkness, to Eraqus further retreating into the shelter of tradition seeing what has happened to his friend who has abandoned it (in his eyes).

After Xehanort returns and claims that he’s seen the error of his Darkness-using ways years later, Eraqus is relieved. He wants to believe his old friend in the way people generally do. Which blinds him to what’s actually going on, that hope.

When Ventus returns with the information that in fact, his old friend has not abandoned using Darkness and is actually worse than before, Eraqus...massively overcorrects. In seeing that his judgement is flawed about Xehanort, he then concludes that his judgement overall has been flawed, even pertaining to his students. Making the choice to care for Ventus, who very well could be the doom of all the worlds, a huge mistake. A mistake he attempts to correct in the worst way possible, leading to the snap decision of fighting Terra when Terra comes to save Ventus.

(Side note: I think Eraqus has somewhat passed on his tendency for snap decisions and first impression judgements to Aqua and Terra respectively, though there’s the temperaments of the students themselves to also consider.)

I’m of the opinion that Eraqus and Old Xehanort gain more context to their actions if you put them in contrast with each other, and add in their past history with each other. They’re supposed to be yet another fun house mirror to Sora-Riku, older and mired in the sins of the past.

For one last contrast between the two: Eraqus sees Darkness as a moral failing while Xehanort sees Darkness as a tool. From there, you can pretty much piece together how they both view the world and their place in it.

Overall, Eraqus is Trying His Best but his Best is based on principles and actions that lead to him being one of the most hated characters in the KH fandom.

#answering asks #kh eraqus #lilac rabbits #khdr thoughts #eraqus is supposed to be a failure #even if he gets one last chance to say goodbye in KH3 #he's what people *think* jedi are but aren't actually #long post #look i know people aren't exactly fond of Dark Road #but i think both eraqus and xehanort make much more sense keeping that game in mind

[ninjakasuga]

Sonsally Celebration Week, Year 3, Day Four!

Sonally Celebration Week, Year 3, Day Four!

Another day of Sonsally Week, unlike the last few entries, this is where I break linearity and go travel back to a prior period in the timeline. When the prompt of ‘Power’ was shown my mind of course went to the Super-Forms, the Deep Power Stones, and the like. Yet also my mind went back to some fanart from last year about a certain someone I would have loved to have seen share a Super Form with Sonic… Y’all can see where this is going.~

Forward: Timeline wise, this is 9-10yrs before Crossroads; the last battle of the war with Dr. Eggman. I admit I’m once again sprinkling tidbits from my still WIP Archie-Sonic-Verse that has yet to be published, but I think the easter eggs and hints of things yet to be seen will be fun for the reader.

Power:

“Sal, are you flipping insane?!” Cried Sonic as he stared Sally down at her suggestion. “You want to use the Deep Power Stones to amplify our Super Forms? What about all that ‘overload potential’ nonsense?!”

Standing beside Sonic, one eye on the half of the Deep Power Stone in her hand, the other on the approaching Egg Armada. A legion of robots, ships, and what other mechanical horrors Eggman had left to try and quash them all for good. With the world-wide alliances winning victory, after victory, Eggman grew desperate and now was throwing everything he had at them in a ‘If I can’t have it no one will!’ tantrum of a scorched world move. Basically it was done to the wire, and now they were as desperate as Eggman.

Her grip tightened on the stone, that madman would not have the last laugh. He wouldn’t end their world as he did the Mobius he came from! “It’s something I was thinking about for awhile, Sonic. We’ve seen what the stones can do just augmenting the individuals who bring the stones together. If we bring that kind of augmentation to the Super Forms? We have the Master Emerald already channeling to empower the Seven Chaos Emeralds, imagine channeling the Stones through it to the Emeralds and the Power Rings. All of you could not just have a greater power boost, but potentially the forms will last longer, long enough to wreck most if not all of the Egg Armada and put an end to this war for good!”

“It might work…” Murmured Tails, standing on the other side to Sally. “Channeling the Stones' power through the Master Emerald, which itself is a beacon and conduit for the Seven Servers…” He began to murmur as his brain went over the numbers and possible calculations. As the two-tailed fox finished his thoughts, he turned to the Guardian of Angel Island, wanting his thoughts. “The Master Emerald is your expertise Knuckles, you think it will work?”

The red-furred Guardian furrowed his brow as he contemplated this. “Maybe, I admit while my communion with Tikal or my Great Grandfather has given me greater insight to the mystical aspects of the Master Emerald, I’m still a novice truth be told.” He sighed, looking apologetic. “Sadly I know more of the scientific side of things given the Brotherhood’s data mostly focuses around that. Even my Father’s old notes are more historical musings than proven theory.” He sighed again, mentally cursing his forebears for yet another aspect of oversight the Brotherhood neglected during their long tenure of guarding Angel Island. Then again, save for the Lost Tribe, it would seem most of the old mystic arts were lost to the Echidna of today, what few were left. “Given we’ve found many connections to the old mystical artifacts of the world, there’s a good chance they’ll work together as Sally thinks.”

A low growl-like ‘hmm’ punctuated the air, before a stern voice interjected aloud. “Or it will overload the Emerald, destroy it, and fry all of us, or potentially create a super-bomb.” Shadow stated with arms crossed, and looking pensive. As all looked his way, he spoke on. “I’m not saying we ditch the idea, but it’s something to consider. I have a vow to protect this world to uphold, as well as too many I care about to let them die.” His thoughts dwelled on Rouge, Omega, and Hope especially. His other comrades within G.U.N. and the Thorndyke Labs. Even of those here, despite any past animosity, he wanted them and their loved ones to equally live. They all had family, and friends to protect. 

The last member of the group, his expression uneasy, yet a deep resolve in his eyes looked about his comrades, and then the horizon as their enemy continued to fly toward them. “We don’t really have a choice do we? This is the last chance, for all of you, as well as the Future I want to prevent from coming to pass.” Clenching his fists, Silver felt his powers hum through his being. It had been a long journey, and one not without many hurdles. From his bungling to interpret data from then Future, and its founding in the past, to dealing with the truths of his own ‘Master’ and the struggle of wondering if he was truly a pawn to bring about ‘his’ world versus a world for everyone to be happy. In the end he was wiser, more experienced and ever resolute to ensure the dark future never came to pass. All other obstacles save Eggman had been dealt with. This was the final hour. “So, save for Sonic we’re all in agreement?”

Hands on his hips, Sonic frowned deeply, looking rather indignant. “Hey, hey! I never said scrap the plan, I was just pointing out how before everyone kept yammering about doing something stupid with the Stones. Given either configuration usage done wrong could lead to KAB-BOOM! Jus’ pointing that out!” Eyeing everyone, his gaze rested on Sally, those deep blue pools that always sucked him in. Reaching for her hand, he wrapped his hand over hers, their wedding rings shining in the sun together. “You think this is our best bet, Sal? If you’re really onboard, so’m I.”

In truth, Sally did share the same concerns as Sonic and everyone else. She knew even using just the ‘boost’ augment which so far had been the safest, could lead to disaster as much as the other configuration which always ended destructively. Plus this would be the last time they could use them. As per Merlin Prower’s warning, the Deep Power Stones could be used a handful of times, and the mystic had given them warning they were on their last usage. This was due to a special magical limiter the Neo-Walkers put on the Stones, halving their ability so the Freedom Fighters and their allies could have an edge. However with the last use, the limiter was off, and so it was full power, and potentially the best opportunity for the worst case scenario. After this the Stones would vanish for another millennia until they were recharged and reappear randomly about the planet again.

Yet as Silver pointed out, what choice did they really have? Eggman was going all out; and thus, their hands were tied. “It’s the best shot we have. G.U.N.’s mechanized forces are exhausted and what isn’t in the repair bay is out fighting the forces encroaching their borders. None of the rest of the allied nations have any armies big enough to fight this horde. We can’t call for help from Blaze or any other friends from other dimensions because the Zone Cops sealed all dimension travel to Mobius Prime to prevent Eggman from escaping. This, this, is all we can do.” Her resolve sounded unshakable, despite her internal doubt, she had to sound resolute. Matching her gaze with Sonic, she managed a grin as she laced her fingers with his. “Let’s do-it-to-it, gang!”

Smiles formed about at the catch-phrase that was so infectious even Shadow was sucked in. One by one, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow and Silver joined in placing their hands over each other, forming a lock. “Let’s do-it-to-it! They all cried, before breaking to get into place. While Sally stood by the Master Emerald with Knuckles, the others began to loop around the Master Emerald, each linking their hands together. From Shadow to Silver, to Tails, to Sonic. Instead of holding Knuckles’ hand, Sonic placed his own on the Echidna’s shoulder. Knuckles did the same with Sally, while his free hand touched the Master Emerald. Sally held the Deep Power Stones in each hand, waiting for the right moment to place them together. Craning her head to Knuckles she nodded, and he nodded back, his gaze shifting to the large emerald his bloodline made their mission to protect along with Angel Island itself (well Echidna population for them, Knuckles was out to protect everyone).

“The servers are the Seven Chaos… Chaos is power, enriched by the heart… The controller exists to unify the chaos!” As he started the chant, he briefly saw a flash of Tikal within the Master Emerald, smiling at them all. This allowed Knuckles to smile, but he didn’t let this distract him. “We who are blessed by the Chaos, beseech to wield your power and wisdom, to save the planet and the innocent lives that dwell upon it. Let us be the Guardians of Mobius, of the Chaos, and the Light of Gaia!”

“We will gladly give our lives if you can let us protect all we love, please help us.” Murmured Sally, interjecting her own addition once Knuckles’ incantation chant was finished. Staring at the two halves of the stones, Sally placed them together, the halves flashed as they became one. An intense glow emanating from the black object that soon blinded them all. A bright, green glow from the Master Emerald broke through the white, with the gathered Power Rings (including Sonic’s Billionth Special Ring) all giving off a golden glow as the colors mingled together. A pillar of the mingled colors erupts from the Master Emerald’s resting place, shooting up, and up into space as the island is bathed in its warm glow.

Tails was the first to regain his sight, and once the relief they did not explode passed through him, a wide grin formed on his face as he felt it, the power of his Super Form. Not only that but he could ‘feel’ the power was increased. “Alright I think it worked!” He hollered, pumping his arms as he felt the power of Turbo Tails peak and flare briefly. “Hooo it’s been a long spell!”

Shadow merely made a ‘heh’ sound, yet smiled as he stared at his own glowing hands. “Yes, I can feel it, now those machines can feel Super Shadow’s fists and Chaos Spears.”

“This still blows me away with how powerful it makes me feel.” Murmured Silver as he marveled at his Super Silver transformation.

“Oh holy crap…” They heard Knuckles utter, followed by Sonic stammering “S-S-Sal?”. Everyone turned their heads and gasped in awe.

“Oh, my God…” Was all Sally could murmur. Her fur was a pink-orange tinge, and her hair a golden glow, flowing freely from the sheer power itself. “H-how? I thought only those with a tie to the Chaos Force could achieve super form?!”

“Maybe the powers that be felt you were worthy.” Knuckles mused, giving a nodding approval to this development. The light-pink glow of his Hyper Knuckles form, arcing with energy like everyone else. “In any case it looks like it worked.”

“I’m not a fan of the colors, they remind me of when I spent hours scrubbing chemicals out of my fur.” Muttered Sally, recalling the chemical splash that caused her fur and hair to change colors twice, before finally returning to her proper brown and auburn tones. She shuddered at the memory; she was lucky Rotor and Quack were able to make a fur-shampoo solution to cleanse the stuff from her fur, and luckier she wasn’t exposed long enough to cause any health issues.

Rubbing his chin, Sonic flashed a wide smile as he drew in his wife’s Super Form. “I dunno Sal, you rock the colors, and do’. It’s giving me ideas-.”

Tails held up one hand, and the other he put a finger to his mouth. Making a faux-gagging sound. “Sonic, I’m right here, don’t wanna hear that stuff!”

Snorting, Sonic rolled his eyes, “Hey, hey Li’Bro who said my mind was going to the gutter?”

Knuckles shot Sonic an incredulous look. “And I quote, “I’m always horny for Sal.”, end quote.”

Both Sonic and Sally managed to blush through the color of their super forms. Each coughing, and averting their gazes from their friends for a time.

“How about we can the small talk, and focus on saving the world?” Shadow stated, breaking up the moment as he turned and pointed towards the approaching Armada. “I’m sure Eggman saw that light show and is going to get even more antsy to try and finish us off.”

Clearing her throat, Sally stepped forward from the Master Emerald, letting Shadow’s comment further help to put that momentary embarrassment behind them. FAR behind them hopefully! “Shadow’s right, we got the power, now let’s use it.”

Pounding his fists together, Sonic began to jog and jump in place to pump himself up. “Juice and jam time folks, let’s show ol’ Eggy he should’ve stayed on that satellite in his home dimension.”

“If not just shriveled up and died.” Growled Knuckles as he flexed his fists before slamming them together.

“For everyone here, and those yet to come, we must win.” Silver uttered as he began to float, flexing his psychokinetic powers in anticipation.

Spinning his twin-tails, Tails began to hover as well. “Sally, give the word, we’re ready!”

“Everyone, it’s been an honor… LET’S GO!!”

#boundingforfreedom #Sonic the Hedgehog #Sally Acorn #Archie-Sonic Comics #Knuckles the Echidna #Shadow the Hedgehog #Miles 'Tails' Prower #Silver the Hedgehog #Master Emerald #Deep Power Stones #Super Forms #Fanfic

[ouranor]

I saw your latest hanyo no yashahime post because I followed the tag and I have to say as a victim of grooming myself, I would rather be aggressive towards the adult Sessrin shippers,I do think some of them have pedophillic tendency’s, I know you hate that word being thrown around but how else would you describe people enjoying seeing sexualized fanart/actual porn of child Rin and sesshomaru. And a ship is just a ship yes but when large amounts of people try to normalize grooming I draw the line

Dear Nonny

First of all: I’m so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience and thank you for sharing this so openly. I’ll do my best to explain my point of view about the current chaos and how to navigate it as best as I can. In order for me not to repeat myself too often, I‘ll assume that people reading this will also have read my previous post that prompted Nonny to message me.

About the ship itself:

As far as the ending of the manga goes, Rin and Sesshoumaru are blank slates, leaving lots of room for interpretation. What is true for both characters is that neither of them have any romance set up, because neither Rin nor Sesshoumaru are anywhere near ready for any kind of romantic relationship (no matter with who) at that point in time. Rin because she’s a child and Sesshoumaru because he’s an emotionally stunted and immature mess of a man (which is why I find the sequel‘s premise incredibly unbelievable. There‘s no way Sesshoumaru was ready to have half-demon children and this is a flat-out character assassination for Sesshoumaru but I DIGRESS). In the manga, not a single trace of romance can be found, and thus not a single trace of grooming. Giving a growing child a new kimono is not grooming, it‘s common sense.

Now, most people that oppose SessRin do immediately jump to pedophilia and grooming for multiple reasons and, while I don’t ship SessRin, reducing the ship to assumptions like these is not an okay thing to do. I firmly stand by this statement and I’ll do my best to explain why.

Now, because this will be important to understand the thoughts I‘m conveying, please remember these key points:

1) Explaining does NOT equal excusing. I will never make excuses for people that romanticize children in romantic relationships. All I‘m doing is do my best to cut through the very emotionally charged and hardened fronts in this ship-war.

2) We NEED to separate the ship from its shippers. SessRin is an extremely difficult ship to write that needs to be treated with much more care and awareness than most other hetero-ships, but because people abuse Rin as their Mary-Sue and don‘t give the characters actual care and love, you end up with terrible fanfiction that depicts SessRin as „a given / destined / Rin‘s the closest vagina in the near vicinity“. And yet: Sesshoumaru grooming Rin is not the ONLY possible continuation of this ship. I‘ll get back to this in a bit.

3) Grooming is a choice, pedophilia is a mental disorder. While the two overlap at times, they are NOT the same. I’ll broach this issue near the end of this post.

Now, to get the worst out of the way, I’ll agree to this: The interpretation coming from the loudest and most aggressive shippers (Celestia on Twitter is an excellent example) is highly problematic and, as mentioned, shows a lack of comprehension regarding subtility and a lack of emotional intelligence. They‘re very black and white and they romanticize the characters as they were left in the manga, saying (among other things) how Rin is Sesshoumaru’s soulmate and understands him like no other, in spite of being a child, and THAT raises all kinds of alarm bells. Because this is exactly the rhetoric used by predators towards impressionable children. People claiming that this isn’t the case are being willfully ignorant and I usually don’t tolerate such people and use the block button generously.

But this is the WORST manifestation of this ship. Notice how I say the worst, not the ONLY.

Unfortunately, this worst interpretation usually comes from the laziest and most aggressive shippers that simply lack the creativity to imagine anything else. I’ve read many a SessRin fanfiction that built this relationship up in a believable way, taking its time and addressing the potential pitfalls, unfortunately this type of dedication or writing talent is not easily found in a fandom as vast and trope-y as Inuyasha. But I‘ve also read a ton of fanfiction where SessRin is a „logical conclusion“ because the author is actually writing an InuKag fic and has no idea what else to do with Sesshoumaru and Rin, hence: Another pairing to make babies with, yaaaay. SessRin happens by proxy, which is a huge NO-NO. This echoes one of my mantras: In order for Sesshoumaru to even get into a romantic relationship (NO MATTER WITH WHO), there is an entire story and development that needs to be told first. The same goes for Rin because again, by the end of the manga, she‘s not much of a character at all. “Why do you even read SessRin if you don’t ship it??” I hear you ask (not you, Nonny, I mean this and the following in a general sense). Because I keep saying that every ship has its merit and I’m interested in the stories that can be told. I keep saying that all ships are legitimate and I don’t want to miss out on any potentially amazing stories, especially because those were seriously hard to come by back in the day (anyone remember the 2000’s? Anyone?). I’ve read fanfiction from literally every Inuyasha ship under the sun. So if I see the tell-tales of a bad SessRin fic, I leave the author and their world behind and move on to something else. I’ll use this short interlude to say this: It has become such a horrible trend in fandom to put the sole responsibility of one’s fanfiction-experience on the author instead of taking responsibility for the content one might consume. There’s an incredible lack of self-sufficiency, a lack of ability to just move away when people read something they don’t want to read without taking personal offense. Now, I’m not saying that you have to be like me, but at least take responsibility for your own experience. ANYWAY, back to the topic at hand.

So again: In order for Rin or Sesshoumaru to get together romantically at any point in the future, a LOT needs to happen first. A lot of development, a lot of questioning, a LOT of build-up, because this relationship needs a heck of a lot more explanation than most other hetero-ships out there, but most fanfic writers and shippers are too lazy to set this up properly, leading to problematic romanticization, sugarcoating and hand-waving away of serious subjects that need to be addressed. Most of these types of SessRin shippers I see are found on Twitter and Tumblr (many are Spanish, too, wth is up with that), as mentioned, and they are are extremely questionable, seeing no issue at all with this ship, and here’s my opinion on why that is: Given from what I’ve seen, these types of shippers equal Rin with themselves. If you read how they justify this ship, it has nothing to do with her being a child, and everything to do with the blank slate that she is (like Bella Swan in Twilight). Rin has endless potential and it’s much easier to project ones own fantasy on a character that has yet to BECOME an actual character you can write a love story WITH. Of course, shippers don‘t realize this, because projection is usually done on an unconscious level. But to someone who’s been observing in this fandom and lurking for years, this seems incredibly obvious. Neither Rin nor Sesshoumaru have any agency, because they’re fictional, and that’s why SessRin is such a ticking bomb, always has been. They can be turned into whatever you want.

Now, that’s of course what fandom is for: Fulfillment of fantasies and works depicting any dynamic from fluffy to dark. But here’s the second main problem: Because SessRin is usually depicted as your typical, trope-riddled “male is alpha, woman is beta at best” romance, it falls right into heteronormative standards. Heterosexual relationships are TEEMING with extremely lazy writing (and normalized abuse, but that’s a subject for another time) and for some reason, I’ve observed how hetero ships have this insane entitlement to “purity”. What I mean by that is that hetero-ships are much more likely to attract fans that need their ship to be canon, otherwise they can’t function. This is EXACTLY what happens with SessRin. If you just had SessRin shippers doing their thing, I don’t think we’d be in this situation. But because of the sequel and its excellent marketing strategy, SessRin shippers are full of hope and, worst of all, grasping at straws and lording their ship’s superiority over everyone else with renewed fervor. If Takahashi/Sunrise weren’t such absolute cunts (pardon the language), we’d not be in this situation. Because SessRin is now a “possibility” in the sequel, people suddenly see the fulfillment of their own personal fantasies within reach. Let me repeat: This is about the fulfillment of their OWN PERSONAL fantasy and has nothing to do with Rin. She just happens to be the female character that’s closest to Sesshoumaru. The fact that she’s a child does not factor in this particular scenario, even though it SHOULD.

So again: The ship is fine on its own, because it’s literally a blank slate that you can go in ANY direction with. It’s the people that desperately grasp for canon and have decided that SessRin is a foregone conclusion WITHOUT any build-up or explanation that are the true problem. They look to the sequel and their own interpretations to justify their lazy and problematic interpretation of the ship. They make the ship into the potential grooming/pedophilia shitstorm that many “antis” are caught up in, but that’s not the ships fault.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about the grooming and possible pedophilia.

I’d ask people, after reading all of the above, to remember this: If there is any grooming at all, it has yet to happen, because NOTHING has happened between Sesshoumaru and Rin after the manga. Hell, they didn‘t even speak to each other in the charity chapter. They are still the same blank slates now that they were back then. Whether or not grooming happens is in the hands of any creator that decides to take their dynamic further.

As for pedophilic tendencies: I will not deny that there are traces of that in SessRin shipping (some prominent people also ship Zabuza/Haku from Naruto which is telling), but I swear to you that 99% of SessRin fanfictions I’ve read do NOT depict Sesshoumaru with a child Rin (except for 1-2 dark fics that portrayed the dangers of a relationship with such a power imbalance, which are extremely important works as well imo). Same goes for the art. This again because Rin is not treated as a proper character, but as a vessel for wish fulfillment.

I have said many negative things about the shippers that are triggering the entire fandom at the moment, but people that oppose this ship need to be honest with themselves and acknowledge that them jumping to the conclusion of “SessRin ALWAYS equals grooming and pedophilia” also lack creativity and the ability to differentiate between different paths and outcomes. Accusing others of pedophilia is inappropriate and uncalled for, not matter how upset you are. I too have had to learn and accept that pedophilia is a mental disorder and needs a proper diagnosis and treatment. What happens because of a mental disorder should never be excused, no matter if it’s depression, bi-polar disorder or pedophilia, but what we can hopefully all agree on is that mental disorders are not something you choose.

So the only thing I can say to you, Nonny, is this: If you see something that looks like pedophilia or grooming to you, absolutely do report it. As someone once told me: The block button is a form of self-care. Use it! I have done the same over the last couple of days and it’s cathartic. If something triggers you, avoid it and find someone/somewhere to vent to if necessary. Your feelings are extremely valid, your aggression towards others (if you have shown any, that is) is not. Your experiences were horrific without any shadow of the doubt, but the way this possibly influences how you react to and treat others is absolutely something that is YOUR responsibility.

What I would, again, ask all of the people aggressively opposing SessRin is that you reconsider your stance on pedophilia. Its potential consequences are inexcusable, but accusing other people of being pedophiles because you’re jumping to conclusions is in extremely bad taste and leaves you not only on the same intellectual level as the shipper you’re accusing, but possibly even lower than that because you’re cherry-picking which potential mental disorder you’re discriminating against. It’s a free world, of course, but I’m sure we’re all trying very hard not to be hypocrites.

I wanted to TL;DR this entire post, but there’s honestly no way to do that without skipping over important parts. So thank you if you’ve made it to the end of this massive ramble. I understand that this is a very delicate subject and I am open to any and all people that would like to discuss this further. Special thanks go to Nonny for giving me the opportunity to talk about this more. I hope I answered your question, even if it might not have been what you wished to hear. Have a wonderful day and please take good care of yourself!

#inuyasha #sessrin #sesshoumaru #rin #hanyo no yashahime #hanyonoyashahime #hanyou no yashahime

[kaofeather]

MG III

Resistance & Results

Gandhi was not the man to nurse a grudge. On the outbreak of the South African (Boer) War in 1899, he argued that the Indians, who claimed the full rights of citizenship in the British crown colony of Natal, were duty-bound to defend it. He raised an ambulance corps of 1,100 volunteers, out of whom 300 were free Indians and the rest indentured laborers. It was a motley crowd: barristers and accountants, artisans and laborers. It was Gandhi’s task to instill in them a spirit of service to those whom they regarded as their oppressors. The British victory in the war brought little relief to the Indians in South Africa. The new regime in South Africa was to blossom into a partnership, but only between Boers and Britons. Gandhi saw that, with the exception of a few Christian missionaries and youthful idealists, he had been unable to make a perceptible impression upon the South African Europeans. In 1906 the Transvaal government published a particularly humiliating ordinance for the registration of its Indian population. The Indians held a mass protest meeting at Johannesburg in September 1906 and, under Gandhi’s leadership, took a pledge to defy the ordinance if it became law in the teeth of their opposition and to suffer all the penalties resulting from their defiance. Thus was born satyagraha (“devotion to truth”), a new technique for redressing wrongs through inviting, rather than inflicting, suffering, for resisting adversaries without rancor and fighting them without violence. The struggle in South Africa lasted for more than seven years. It had its ups and downs, but under Gandhi’s leadership, the small Indian minority kept up its resistance against heavy odds. Hundreds of Indians chose to sacrifice their livelihood and liberty rather than submit to laws repugnant to their conscience and self-respect. In the final phase of the movement in 1913, hundreds of Indians, including women, went to jail, and thousands of Indian workers who had struck work in the mines bravely faced imprisonment, flogging, and even shooting. It was a terrible ordeal for the Indians, but it was also the worst possible advertisement for the South African government, which, under pressure from the governments of Britain and India, accepted a compromise negotiated by Gandhi on the one hand and the South African statesman Gen. Jan Christian Smuts on the other. “The saint has left our shores,” Smuts wrote to a friend on Gandhi’s departure from South Africa for India, in July 1914, “I hope for... ever.” A quarter-century later, he wrote that it had been his “fate to be the antagonist of a man for whom even then I had the highest respect.” Once, during his not-infrequent stays in jail, Gandhi had prepared a pair of sandals for Smuts, who recalled that there was no hatred and personal ill-feeling between them, and when the fight was over “there was the atmosphere in which a decent peace could be concluded.” As later events were to show, Gandhi’s work did not provide an enduring solution for the Indian problem in South Africa. What he did to South Africa was indeed less important than what South Africa did to him. It had not treated him kindly, but, by drawing him into the vortex of its racial problem, it had provided him with the ideal setting in which his peculiar talents could unfold themselves. The Religious Quest Gandhi’s religious quest dated back to his childhood, the influence of his mother, and of his home life in Porbandar and Rajkot, but it received a great impetus after his arrival in South Africa. His Quaker friends in Pretoria failed to convert him to Christianity, but they quickened his appetite for religious studies. He was fascinated by the writings of Leo Tolstoy on Christianity, read the Qurʾān in translation, and delved into Hindu scriptures and philosophy. The study of comparative religion talks with scholars, and his own reading of theological works brought him to the conclusion that all religions were true, and yet every one of them was imperfect because they were “interpreted with poor intellects, sometimes with poor hearts,

and more often misinterpreted.” Shrimad Rajchandra, a brilliant young Jain philosopher who became Gandhi’s spiritual mentor, convinced him of “the subtlety and profundity” of Hinduism, the religion of his birth. And it was the Bhagavadgita, which Gandhi had first read in London, that became his “spiritual dictionary” and exercised probably the greatest single influence on his life. Two Sanskrit words in the Gita particularly fascinated him. One was aparigraha (“nonpossession”), which implies that people have to jettison the material goods that cramp the life of the spirit and to shake off the bonds of money and property. The other was samabhava (“equability”), which enjoins people to remain unruffled by pain or pleasure, victory or defeat, and to work without hope of success or fear of failure. Those were not merely counsels of perfection. In the civil case that had taken him to South Africa in 1893, he had persuaded the antagonists to settle their differences out of court. The true function of a lawyer seemed to him “to unite parties riven asunder.” He soon regarded his clients not as purchasers of his services but as friends; they consulted him not only on legal issues but on such matters as the best way of weaning a baby or balancing the family budget. When an associate protested that clients came even on Sundays, Gandhi replied: “A man in distress cannot have Sunday rest.” Gandhi’s legal earnings reached a peak figure of £5,000 a year, but he had little interest in moneymaking, and his savings were often sunk in his public activities. In Durban and later in Johannesburg, he kept an open table; his house was a virtual hostel for younger colleagues and political coworkers. This was something of an ordeal for his wife, without whose extraordinary patience, endurance, and self-effacement Gandhi could hardly have devoted himself to public causes. As he broke through the conventional bonds of family and property, their life tended to shade into community life. Gandhi felt an irresistible attraction to a life of simplicity, manual labor, and austerity. In 1904—after reading John Ruskin’s Unto This Last, a critique of capitalism—he set up a farm in Phoenix near Durban where he and his friends could live by the sweat of their brow. Six years later another colony grew up under Gandhi’s fostering care near Johannesburg; it was named Tolstoy Farm for the Russian writer and moralist, whom Gandhi admired and corresponded with. Those two settlements were the precursors of the more-famous ashrams (religious retreats) in India, at Sabarmati near Ahmedabad (Ahmadabad) and at Sevagram near Wardha. South Africa had not only prompted Gandhi to evolve a novel technique for political action but also transformed him into a leader of men by freeing him from bonds that make cowards of most men. “Persons in power,” the British Classical scholar Gilbert Murray prophetically wrote about Gandhi in the Hibbert Journal in 1918; should be very careful how they deal with a man who cares nothing for sensual pleasure, nothing for riches, nothing for comfort or praise, or promotion, but is simply determined to do what he believes to be right. He is a dangerous and uncomfortable enemy because his body which you can always conquer gives you so little purchase upon his soul.

[poc-in-science]

“Meaning is still measured from below”: on 2014 MU69

by Divya M. Persaud

Let’s talk about Kuiper Belt Object (KBO) 2014 MU69, nicknamed “Ultima Thule” for the time being before the IAU makes a final decision on its name. Last March, Meghan Bartels wrote a piece for Newsweek discussing the origins of this term; the article was widely circulated the night of the flyby, prompting quite a lot of discussing within and without the space community. The mission team subsequently defended this discussion, calling it a “wonderful name for exploration.”

A lot of people are wondering: why does it matter? Can we not ascribe something positive and new to this term? Or else, can’t we just bypass that meaning and continue to refer to the original, Norse concept? I want to discuss a few things: how what we do in space always will reflect society and culture, as well as influence society and culture—and the role of iconography, including neo/fascist iconography, in this process. This piece is not meant to be comprehensive (I am still learning!) but to outline some of these issues and point to other resources on these subjects.

A PDF version of this essay is available here.

We in space science often frame space as a completely unmarked expanse—a place of renewal, separate from the worries of this planet, and merely interpreted through objective investigation. But the expanse is where social conditions, structures, and processes are writ large, and possibly so clearly and obviously because it is such an immense (literally spatial, and also imaginative) canvas for dreams and scientific inquiry, and also because it is such a mighty endeavor to study at all, necessitating human cooperation and technological development.

We can understand this process of ‘mapping’ society unto space by looking at the concept of Western modernism and objectivity. Maria Lugones describes a linear progress in history as a concept produced within the “cognitive need” of capitalism to “natural[ize]” coloniality:

“Europe was mythologically understood to pre-exist this pattern of power as a world capitalist center that colonized the rest of the world and as such the most advanced moment in the linear, unidirectional, continuous path of the species. A conception of humanity was consolidated according to which the world's population was differentiated in two groups: superior and inferior, rational and irrational, primitive and civilized, traditional and modern” (Lugones 2008).

European colonialism thus requires the positioning of Europe as the arbiter of progress and modernity, rendering the frontier always in opposition. Of this linear progress, Peter Redfield writes that “just as European history naturally defines the categories of modernity by virtue of precedence, outer space naturally defines the globe by virtue of bounding it...” (Redfield 2002).

In another essay, Redfield argues that the “unknown” requires knowing—our social conditioning permits us to understand the unknown, and that conditioning isn’t neutral:

“Placeless space is not free from culture or social norms, even if blurs location...it depends on mastery of a set of cultural & social codes that allow for the possibility of universalized, mobile experience - the recognition of things one has never specifically seen before” (Redfield 1996).

The question of space thus becomes one of opposition: it is, in a sense, an Other in relation to Earth, but also, more specifically, an Other that inherits our social structures (including our colonial history). This is a settler colonial model of space that directly relates to settler colonialism on Earth. In Spaceflight, Culture, and Ideology, Linda Billings incisively writes:

“Patricia Nelson Limerick has pointed out that space advocates cling to the frontier metaphor, conceiving ‘American history [as] a straight line, a vector of inevitability and manifest destiny linking the westward expansion of Anglo-Americans directly to the exploration and colonization of space’…advocates of U.S. spaceflight have created their own frontier mythology, as Limerick has noted, expanding the story of Western American settlement to encompass space exploration” (Billings 2007).

And Redfield identifies this frontier mythology as one of settler colonialism:

“the history of space representation is full of visions of settler colonization. This point is not surprising, given the narrative topology of any act of leaving the earth or extending human life through the galaxy, but it has effects when placed next to the fissures of terrestrial history. Even the planners of the German V-2 dreamed beyond their engines of destruction, imagining an era of peaceful exploration, while American and Soviet cold warriors alternated geopolitical fears of final conflict with calls to embrace a new dawn for humanity. Amid explicitly imperial tropes of representation, space offered the prospect of a renewed form of settlement, this time into a zone safely free from human difference” (Redfield 2002).

What strikes me about this passage is the argument that space itself has been framed as a place “free from human difference.” As a planetary scientist, I often hear that space is an opportunity for unprecedented international cooperation, a project for humanity that can serve peace and renewal on Earth. This is a wonderful project and dream, and one that I try to integrate into my own practice as a researcher. But this kind of claim isn’t neutral or without precedent in, e.g., the Manifest Destiny. Alice Gorman succinctly writes:

“The development of space industry is embedded in colonial history and economic relationships. From a colonial perspective, both interplanetary space and the lands of ‘primitive’ people are terra nullius, empty wildernesses, or moral vacuums, into which civilized sea-faring or space-faring nations can bring the right moral order. The colonial aspects of space exploration are a mirror of those same aspirations played out on Earth” (Gorman 2005).

So fervor isn’t isolated to individuals, but relates to an ideology behind the way space exploration functions (e.g. funding, public engagement, and how “discoveries” are framed). Billings relates the cultural rhetoric she describes to an ideology in space exploration, not just an isolated cultural interpretation by “advocates”:

“This rhetoric conveys an ideology of spaceflight that could be described, at its worst, as a sort of space fundamentalism: an exclusive belief system that rejects as unenlightened those who do not advocate the colonization, exploitation, and development of space.”

Enlightenment, in this case, thus comes to mean uncritical support of expanse into the “frontier” of space—rendering not the non-inhabitants of space as “inferior…irrational…primitive…traditional,” not just Earth/Space the here/there, but also critics. Our concepts of coloniality—of the Other, of “exploring” an “unknown”—and our own material history absolutely inform the ways we frame and carry out space exploration, and also the extent to which we are allowed to critique it. Any woman scientist who has publicly reacted to a case of racism, sexism, etc. on Twitter understands this, but there’s also something to be said about France’s reclamation of land in French Guiana for its launch services (I point to Redfield’s pieces as critical literature on this history), as well as White Sands in the United States, Woomera in Australia (Gormon expands on this) and launch sites in Algeria.

In a report on a 2009 NASA climate change workshop called “Native Peoples – Native Homelands,” the authors included a special note regarding LCROSS, which they framed as a bombing of the Moon, and critically ask, “The Moon has rights and does not belong to the US – who determines the right for countries to carry out activities on the Moon?” (Maynard 2009). Meanwhile, the “frontier” concept of a blank landscape has been historically applied to lands occupied for launches to space: “A number of factors made Woomera a good choice for a rocket range in 1947. Not least among them was the perception of the area as remote, arid and devoid of people” (Gorman 2005). This is a direct relationship between Indigenous people and their rights, settler colonialism, and colonial entitlement to physical space on Earth to reach outer space.

Redfield thus ominously writes, similarly to Gorman:

“Whatever happened to empire in the 2nd half of the 20th century, it did not simply vanish...it lingers on, even beyond the planet, amid the faint beckoning glow of the stars. To move out invites...a passage forward through the very pasts we might think we are leaving behind (Redfield 2002).”

Lucianne Walkowicz wrote a fantastic article on the Space Force, and very pointedly says:

“the idea of a border enclosed not only from all sides, but from above; the suggestion of military expansion, not merely into other countries, but with such sweep as to reach entirely beyond our planet; and the proffered trade of commercial success for silence and complicity.”

This is the ideology that Billings discusses, and the mapping of our colonial history unto the stars—space isn’t something we conceptualize in a vacuum, and isn’t something we explore beyond material history or without ideology.

Many argue that there are no people in space, or on Mars, to colonize—so why does it matter? The introduction of NASA’s “Critical Issues in Spaceflight,” the authors write that “Most strikingly, at least so far, and perhaps happily, since such encounters in the past have left more than one civilization decimated, explorers of the Space Age have not had to worry about encounters with indigenous inhabitants of the lands they explore” (Dick and Launius 2006). Even if we somehow ignore the neocolonialism of space bases, as Walkowicz says in an interview, “it erases the history of colonization here on our own planet.“ What we do out in space will always come back to reflect on us and impact real people on Earth.

In an interview about NatGeo’s very racist cover last November, John Edwin Mason says:

“The cover photo also reminds me of the iconography of Afrikaner nationalism in South Africa. The man on a horse, wearing a wide-brimmed hat and commanding the landscape, was a recurring motif in Afrikaner nationalist imagery. As in the US, it grew out of a desire to naturalize and justify settler colonialism and the theft of lands owned by indigenous people.”

Symbolism, as part of culture, thus has a significant weight. We have to interrogate symbols, iconography, and historic connotations in any and all fields of science (if we truly purport to be critical as a collection of fields). “Settlers,” “colonization/colonies,” and “resource extraction” are real terms sweepingly used in my field to describe human and robotic exploration of the solar system. Even the word “exploration”—as opposed to investigation, study, etc.—alongside “pioneer,” “mariner,” “clipper” in mission names, bears a specific, heavy history that most of the world population directly relates to European colonialism. This NASA page really discusses Jamestown as a model for astronaut survival, posing the British invasion of North America as neutral, and has the audacity to discuss “Native American foods.”

There has been a more recent hash of conversations about colonial language around space exploration (I’m not going to link all of my many favorites because this essay is already getting quite long, but I have many saved here and I encourage you to read all of them). Meghan Bartels reports that:

“No matter how gently space programs are worded, by the numbers they’ve mostly benefited colonizers so far. Every one of the 12 humans to set foot on the Moon has been a white American man. Just one in 10 countries on Earth has sent an astronaut to the International Space Station, and only three countries in the entire southern hemisphere have been able to do so. The U.S. sent its first Native American astronaut to space in 2002. Those statistics and the loaded terminology we use to talk about space are two sides of the same coin.”

D.N. Lee writes about human exploration of Mars in a must-read:

“I worry that Mars exploration and colonization will be less about saving all of humanity and more about staking claims to profitable natural resources and establishing essential industries. After all, this kind of naked resource grab has happened before.”

As Dr. Lee mentions in her article, these sorts of critiques aren’t popular (and again, I cite the experiences of women scientists on Twitter as a taster), or else are wholeheartedly rejected with disingenuous arguments about moving “beyond” history. Lisa Messeri writes:

“During his talk he took the time to address those who would urge him to find new language. Following slides showing images of exploring and settling the American West…Tumlinson assured his audience that in drawing on the frontier metaphor, he is not condoning the destruction of Native American communities or the spread of small pox. If you ignore these bad historical associations, Tumlinson argued, you’re left with an otherwise compelling model of space settlement. As if one can take the good parts of a metaphor, setting the unseemly ones aside.”

(This is of course relevant to our current conversation on Ultima Thule, which I will discuss later.) The person she describes is Rick Tumlinson, a New Space advocate who, again, really truly wrote a “Manifesto for the Frontier” like it’s 1812 and we’re driving covered wagons (and by we, I don’t mean me at all). This is a real-life article on Space.com about how space will be like the “American West”. I’m often told that it’s the “old generation of white men” who cling to these ideals or make these excuses, but it’s not. Last year, 500 Women Scientists released an article in Scientific American, interestingly arguing:

“despite what some may say, scientific values are American values. Free speech and a free press allow us to speak truth even when it’s inconvenient to those in power, and to loudly disagree with each other in public. Science proceeds by the consensus of the many and is skeptical of unearned authority. And despite what some senior professors may believe, peer review tolerates no kings.”

with a hyperlink to an article about “anti-facts” ideology (a mythos I’ve written about elsewhere but won’t address here). I’m not going to expand on the alarmingly jingoistic tone of this piece, nor the aspects of propaganda in its narrative—I am made very uneasy by these claims that we have an operating free press in the U.S., or a right to free speech for all citizens who can “loudly disagree” without getting, e.g., arrested, in addition to the obvious elision of the sexism and racism in the peer review process and how that “consensus” is extremely colored by institutional oppressive structures, coming from an organization that claims to be far more critical than this—but rather wish to point to the relationship between nation, cultural symbols, and science as an endeavor broadly and space exploration specifically. The first Apollo moon landing is famous for inciting this conversation with the planting of the U.S. flag:

“Perhaps insignificant in themselves, the Tranquility Base artefacts represent one of the major motivations of the space race: to imprint a specific national, ideological and colonial meaning on the Moon” (Gorman 2005)

There’s a two-way exchange with the language and symbols we (literally) deploy—the ideology we invest in them, and the effects on culture they generate. We also need to look beyond these singular “moments” in space history, and more broadly to the concept of iconography. In Culture and Imperialism, Said writes:

“The processes of imperialism occurred beyond the level of economic laws and political decisions, and—by predisposition, by the authority of recognizable cultural formations, by continuing consolidation within education, literature, and the visual and musical arts—were manifested at another very significant level, that of the national culture, which we have tended to sanitize as a realm of unchanging intellectual monuments, free from worldly affiliations” (Said 1994).

This of course relates to the ideology that Billings describes, and the continuity between the terra nullius of the American West and outer space, but also relates to fascist iconography and how it is “sanitized” of its material history.

Nazis still exist—let’s be clear about this—and iconography has always had a role in fascism. Let’s look at art: art, as a communicative project, supplies us with a way to understand symbolism, iconography, and ideology. We can even understand the public engagement aspect of space missions—that is, the relationship between the scientific endeavor and the public through direct communication as well as information diffused through factual and nonfactual media—as a form of public art, replete with graphic design, a sort of internal poetics, and even song. Entire movements in art history—where literature, music, and visual art have overlapping movements and periods—served and still serve as propaganda for imperialism. Lighting, color, texture, movement, composition, and symbolism were and are traditionally used to cast scenes (and music, and literature) in racialized ways. Connotations of white supremacy are clear, once you understand motives that denote the Other (typically, Jewish people in Europe), e.g. 19th century paintings of Vikings or Greek gods, common symbols in European and especially German fascism.

These pieces of artwork served specific public tastes and were commissioned, literally or implicitly, by the colonial project. This is the process of racialization—an ongoing event of generating the Other in culture, and thus crystallizing ideology. Of architecture in Mussolini’s Italy, Stone writes:

“Three elements of the exhibition account for its reception: the iconographic and aesthetic; the national cultural; and the organizational. Examination of the mechanism of ’aesthetics’, ’national culture’ and ’mass culture’ reveals the ways in which fascism produced a propaganda exhibition that received critical and popular acclaim, while eliciting some of the consensus the regime sought” (Stone 1993).

That public taste was a goal for the fascist regime—it served a purpose as propaganda, an aesthetic tied to political ideology. Complacency and complicity become intertwined, here; Said writes of imperialist propaganda:

“There was a commitment…over and above profit, a commitment in constant circulation and recirculation, which, on the one hand, allowed decent men and women to accept the notion that distant territories and their native peoples should be subjugated, and, on the other, replenished metropolitan energies so that these decent people could think of the imperium as a protracted, almost metaphysical obligation to rule subordinate, inferior, or less advanced peoples” (Said 1994).

These symbols, icons, and aesthetics are a bridge between regimes (whether fascist and/or imperialist) and the people to sustain the system. With respect to the Other, this means the construction and reconstruction of the Other in public opinion, the justification of the oppression of the Other, and complacency when the Other is targeted.

“Ultima Thule” is an aesthetic signifier entrenched, due to ideological processes in the history of Germany even prior to the formation of the Nazi party, in the Other, and which was part of the “mass culture.” The mythology wasn’t confined to basement meetings of the Thule Society, but served to generate the Jewish Other as a creation myth for “pure” Germans, one that entered German culture (Godwin 1996). Zernack writes about a publishing house that used the term:

“the name Thule stood for a Germanic continuity, promising something ancient and at the same time maintaining its unremitting validity, or, as announced in the publisher’s advertisement in its characteristic religious diction (1922): ‘Thule is not history; Thule is the eternal Germanic soul’” (Zernack 2011).

The name is, due to cultural process in history that had material consequences, tied to anti-Semitic white supremacy. That NASA (and ESA) draw aerospace engineering heritage from Nazi Germany doesn’t help its case. During WWII,

“1400 detainees from SS concentration camps to work on the V2 [rocket] assembly line…rockets were manufactured using the slave labour of Dora and other concentration camps…Wernher von Braun…visited concentration camps to select workers…Of 60,000 prisoners employed at Mittelbau, over 20,000 died of assault, starvation and sickness (Neufeld, 1996). A far greater number died in the manufacture of the V2 rockets than were killed in their deployment” (Gorman 2005).

SS officer Wernher von Braun would later serve as the director of the NASA Marshall Space Flight Center and have an obscene number of roads, buildings, and awards named after him. One could argue that von Braun himself has entered the national culture, forgiven in explicit and yet many unspoken ways.

History alone should give us pause before reviving terminology whose application in the past two centuries has been the subjugation of Jewish people. But as I said, Nazis still exist, and this is a present issue, as well. France has a significant anti-Semitism problem and has seen increased fatal attacks against Jewish people in the past decade. Sweden and Germany have similar problems, and the Pittsburgh synagogue massacre, in which eleven died, follows a long legacy of anti-Semitic hate crimes in America. Meanwhile, Charlottesville is only one example of recent neo-Nazi and neo-fascist rallies in the U.S. Neo-Nazis do not entertain a mere fascination with previous fascist movements, nor a fixation on their symbols, nor even simply a revival—they are, rather, a continuation of an ideology, and its tools. Cotter writes that “skinheads consider themselves the latest group of warriors to fight for the white race, comparing themselves to ancient Vikings and more recently Nazi storm troopers” (Cotter 1999, emphasis mine). We also have to interrogate the reporting of these crimes and rallies—lack of coverage, resistance to naming them hate crimes, and reluctance to connect neo-Nazis to an ideology that predates this century. What Billings writes of how critics are treated as oppositional to the project of space exploration takes on a new meaning when we consider anti-Semitic dog-whistles about “enemies” of nations.

The Washington Post has a very handy guide on the symbols from the rally in Charlottesville, including Norse symbols that harken to the ‘homeland’ of the mythical Aryan race. While the Anti-Defamation League warns that other groups tend to also use Norse symbols that are employed by white supremacists, a quick search supplies examples of neo-Nazi organizations using the name of “Thule.” One example is a press that distributed Nazi propaganda to white inmates; a member of the White Order of Thule was charged in the 90s for plotting to bomb Jewish and African American landmarks.

While Thule is perhaps less common than the symbolism of Thor’s hammer or runes, ‘neo-volkisch’ movements and certain Nordic neo-paganism still revolve around the Aryan ‘homeland’ and anti-Semitic, anti-Black race science. The symbol of a common homeland, not just ancestry, is essential to fascists, as is the continuity I describe:

“Right-wing extremists have long regarded themselves as protectors of the nation - a group of people that conceives itself to be distinct from others. This is based on both objective criteria - such as a shared history, connection to a territorial homeland, common language or religion…which has existed throughout the centuries by passing on the national group's traditions, myths of common ancestry, and cultural symbols from one generation to the next” (Cotter 1999).

This connection of geography to race science—a frontier, blank, white, pure—makes the usage of it to describe a distant planetary object very jarring. Also jarring is the very familiar response to accusations of the members of punk band Ultima Thule of fascist tendencies in the 90s:

“[Stockholm city councilmember] Carlberg's opinion of them did not change. He explained why he had found it so important to take them under his wing: ‘There is an extremely fertile soil for a newly awakened national sentiment, foremost among young people. Ultima Thule is the only band which expresses this feeling today. I want them to work towards a positive nationalism’” (Deland 1997).

While the responses to criticisms of MU69’s nickname haven’t typically cited “positive nationalism,” the stark jingoism of the New Horizons press coverage the morning of January 1 was hard to ignore. Twenty or so smiling, mostly white children waved flags and counted down to the timing of the flyby, and at the press release Alan Stern referred to New Horizons as an “American mission.” I blinked several times in both instances; there was no way for me to not physically react to this messaging. And the erasure of the power of history, combined with the nationalist flavor of media around this mission, is not new and that’s concerning.

So what does it mean that space is intended to be a “new dawn” but very obviously for the few (Redfield 2002)? Where planetary bodies are named not only as symbols of an ultimate, blank frontier, but also with connotations of the white race? How do the demographics of these space missions—and their optics, who’s in mission control, which children are made to represent the future of the field and the public at large—connect to this issue? Whose “new dawn” is it? Who in history has had the benefit of viewing land as property to be taken, terra nullius to be claimed for settlement, while framing any resulting harm as either necessary or imagined? Who in history is repeatedly placed at the margins and silenced, and villainized as enemies of the state? And how does it relate to the war profiteers with whom we collaborate—missile companies that bombed Syria less than a year ago; drone manufacturers that kill innocents in Yemen, Afghanistan, and Pakistan; corporations that operate on stolen and occupied land? And, so, what is the role of space exploration in the ongoing construction of race and anti-Semitism?

Importantly, why is asking any of these questions—from the mere point of diversity, to workplace climate, to jingoist optics and messaging, to the funding of these missions—so sacrilege, so often met with propaganda, so threatening?

Ultimately, academic citations or language aren’t the point; it should be enough that people affected by neo-/Nazism are saying that this is unacceptable. That we face and witness rising neo-Nazism in the West (while these testimonies are typically silenced), and that to use Nazi-associated terminology is discomfiting. That the historic connection between space exploration, war and genocide, racism and anti-Semitism, is too much to ever consider this an isolated issue with no context.

“For all the dreams of the world’s space agencies, the mythic allusions in rocket and programme names, the indomitable enthusiasm of space aficionados, the multiple imagination of science fiction, and even the farce of the world’s first space tourist, human spaceflight has yet really to move beyond the earth. In the absence of the sure reflection of either a god or an alien above, meaning is still measured from below” (Redfield 2002).

References

Billings, Linda. 2007. “Overview: Ideology, Advocacy, and Spaceflight—Evolution of a Cultural Narrative.” In Societal Impact of Spaceflight, edited by Steven J. Dick and Roger D. Launius. National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Cotter, John M. 1999. “Sounds of Hate: White Power Rock and Roll and the Neo-Nazi Skinhead Subculture.” Terrorism and Political Violence, 11 (2): 111–40. doi:10.1080/09546559908427509.

Dick, Steven J., and Roger D. Launius, eds. 2006. Critical Issues in the History of Spaceflight. National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Godwin, Joscelyn. 1996. Arktos: The Polar Myth in Science, Symbolism, and Nazi Survival. Adventures Unlimited Press.

Gorman, Alice Claire. 2005. “The Cultural Landscape of Interplanetary Space.” Journal of Social Archaeology5 (85). doi:10.1177/1469605305050148.

Lugones, Maria. 2008. “The Coloniality of Gender.” Worlds & Knowledges Otherwise, 2 (2): 1–17. doi:10.1207/S15327949PAC0603_5.

Maynard, Nancy G, ed. 2009. “Native Peoples - Native Homelands Climate Change Workshop II.” In. National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Redfield, Peter. 1996. “Beneath a Modern Sky: Space Technology and Its Place on the Ground.” Science Technology and Human Values21 (3): 251–74. doi:10.1177/016224399602100301.

———. 2002. “The Half-Life of Empire in Outer Space.” Social Studies of Science32 (5–6): 791–825. doi:10.1177/030631270203200508.

Said, Edward W. 1994. Culture and Imperialism. Vintage Books.

Stone, Marla. 1993. “Staging Fascism: The Exhibition of the Fascist.” Journal of Contemporary History. 28: 215–43.

Zernack, Julia. 2011. “Old Norse – Icelandic Literature and German Culture The European Discovery of Old Norse Mythology.” In Iceland and Images of the North.

#space exploration #science and colonialism #original writing #mu69 #nazi tw -

[thebluelemontree]

does anyone know why elio garçia said that in alayne's sample chapter there's no reference to sandor?

How that came to be is a long, stupid story and a good lesson on taking fandom hype and what high-profile fandom members say with a heap of salt.

Basically Vulture reported Elio said the Alayne chapter is “sure to be controversial.”  It was a misquote that led to some wild speculations of something akin to stuff like Sansa killing SR or something similar to the show plot.  The media and the fandom at large just descended on the word “controversial” like a pack of jackals, trying to figure out what that meant.  At that time, the Alayne chapter wasn’t released publically, so part of how everything got misconstrued is in not being able to discuss what he found controversial without divulging spoilers.  Since the Vulture article came out, he clarified his statements on the westeros.org boards:

As with all interviews, sometimes bits get cut to tighten it up… I’m pretty sure what I said was that I thought the chapter might be controversial in some quarters of the fandom. I guess that means it could well be controversial. But, who knows, my assessment might be wrong.    

So then the chapter finally gets released.  As I’m sure you’ve probably read the sample chapter yourself (if not, here you go) and there wasn’t really anything controversial at all.  The tone of the chapter is mostly very light with nothing terrible happening.  It’s true that Sandor isn’t explicitly mentioned.  Sansa fans have known for a long time her sexual maturation was a major part of her character development; however, it wasn’t like she was overtly seducing Harry either.  More like mopping the floor with him and winning him over with her cleverness and confidence.  It only gets mildly flirtatious at the very end with “I’ll be all the spice you’ll ever want.”  Big deal.  So… what did Elio think some fans would find controversial?  Why did he bring this up at all?  Once again, Elio was asked to elaborate on what his clarified statement meant.  

Elio explains in these tweets:  

Basically just the sudden burgeoning appearance of Alayne’s sexuality, and that that focus happens w/o reference to a certain [character]  

Now he never calls out Sansan fans directly here, but it’s not hard to deduce which fans he’s referring to.  In this reddit post, he explicitly says his comment was in reference to Sansan fans:

As I’ve said elsewhere, the appearance of Sansa’s sexuality (and the circumstances, come to think of it, re: Littlefinger’s plans) – it takes sexual desire to understand it in others, and so attempt the sort of flirtation Sansa did with Harry – and the fact that it’s entirely unconnected to Sandor Clegane, who is never referenced in the chapter. I assumed that some, wedded to particular images of Sansa and her possible interest in Sandor, would find this chapter difficult to swallow because of those aspects.

I should clarify three things that people often choose to ignore when I remarked on this in an interview long ago:

1) What we said was that we thought the chapter could be controversial in certain parts of the fandom. It was the interviewer who compressed that to the chapter being “sure to controversial.” We have no control of that sort of thing, but when the interview came out we immediately tried to clarify on our forum and anywhere else we were asked to comment.

2) We had not then read the Mercy chapter, a chapter which also touched on a POV character’s sexuality, and in this case did it in a more clearly deliberately troubling, and certainly more graphic, way that certainly caused some controversy. Perhaps had we read that chapter first, we would have thought the Alayne chapter was small potatoes in comparison and wouldn’t have said anything at all, I don’t know.

3) All that said, this chapter has stirred exactly the controversy I thought it would among certain segments of the Sansa-Sandor fans. It’s just off in tumblr and Livejournal, and perhaps it’s more muted than I would have expected because (unfortunately) my remarks may have had a chilling effect. That was not, by any means, my intention; I am not a SanSan – not a shipper of anything at all – but just because it’s not my jam doesn’t mean it’s a problem if it’s someone else’s.

So this was the crux why this whole thing started.  That Elio made his statement based on an assumption of how a group of shippers might possibly flip their lids over Sandor not being explicitly mentioned in a chapter that shows Sansa expressing a more mature sexuality towards another guy.  To be fair, he also said that if the Mercy chapter had been available to read before this one, it might have put the Alayne chapter into greater perspective, so much that he might never have said anything about it.

To my knowledge, I never saw any Sansan fan or any shipper being remotely upset about Sansa’s character development in this chapter.  Quite the opposite in fact.  Maybe somewhere in the fandom some fringe hardcore shippers that deny things like Sansa fantasizing about Loras because it somehow threatens their otp got upset about this, but those people are ridiculous and can’t read.  They definitely are not representative of the majority of Sansan fans. 

The worst that actually happened was perhaps that some Sansan fans got a little annoyed at Elio for assuming we’d be clutching our pearls and wringing our hands over the lack of Sandor.  I’m trying not to put words in his mouth, but that’s the feeling I was getting from that.  Initially, Elio had conceded that “[his] assessment might be wrong.”  Fair enough; however, in the reddit post he says “this chapter has stirred exactly the controversy I thought it would among certain segments of the Sansa-Sandor fans” primarily on tumblr and LJ.  Apparently, Linda and Elio don’t exactly have a good opinion of the fandom on tumblr to put it mildly.  So I find it a little suspect when according to him fans on tumblr and LJ proved his prediction correct.  And then to say the reaction was more “muted than [he] would have expected” (did he expect torches and pitchforks? idk) which he attributes to his remarks having a “chilling effect.”  Ok?  Or maybe… no one except for perhaps a very tiny minority found anything worth fretting over.  Maybe that’s why he found it so “muted.”  Good grief.  

So there you have it.  A whole lotta fuss over a non-issue that one guy assumed would be an issue because of shipping.  Not that you asked, but I do in fact feel Sandor’s character is present in that chapter in a sense.  Loras’s too.  In my character analysis essay on Harry the Heir, I think that Harry is a poor imitation of some of the major personality traits of Sandor and Loras combined.  Those two are her main influences in her sexual maturation for the published books.  What that means for Sansa to evaluate someone like him as a potential suitor works well for continuing her development from the previous books.                 

#Anonymous #alayne I twow #sansa stark #sandor clegane #elio garcia #fandom and media #overhyped #the controversy that never was #harry the heir #loras tyrell

[resurrged]

AN ANALYSIS OF CHARACTER DECISIONS THE WARRIORS    /     AND WHY YMIR CHOSE ‘THEIR SIDE’      —

                   first and foremost, let me just address some incredibly important tidbits on my own interpretation of ymir’s characterization,  just because it’ll set the fact that this whole post is pretty ?? against the grain to everything i’ve seen on ymir so far & affects a lot on how i play her.

one :       her death was necessary, and she was likely set to die from the start.

this manga is meant to tug at your heartstrings, and ymir’s death, to me, is probably the best one to hit that bullet.  no one’s getting a truly happy ending, and ymir’s was beautifully forlorn.  the best isa has done in building a character just to crush them in the worst way possible, imo. and i mean, yeah, sure— would it have been NICE to see ymir overcome this and find a happy medium? yeah, totally. BUT THIS ISN’T THAT KIND OF STORY ???? it’s not like she really has the chance to work on it fully & like holy shit y’all we literally watched the main protagonist get EATEN within the first 4 chapters what do you expect ????

two :       ymir leaving does not, in any way,  “go entirely against her character”  by choosing R&B over historia

in fact, it aligns perfectly with every aspect of it —  as per isayama’s given outline / point focuses when it comes to her.

as much as she cherishes, supports, and loves the girl, YMIR IS SO MUCH MORE THAN HER ATTACHMENT TO HISTORIA OH mY GoD

THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS LITERALLY A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHO SHE IS NOT HOW SHE BECAME THAT WAY.

now back to randy with the news

PERSONALITY     /          ymir had always been looking out for others, with a particular emphasis on historia, sure, more on that later— but we see how someone like reiner was instantly able to clue into how something apparently crass, such as laughing ruthlessly at connie’s “idea”,  had been done to look out for him.  

she’s clearly close to her comrades, and we see her being physically touchy with both connie and eren without either of them twitching away / reacting like this is strange.  even though she’s known to behave boorishly, she has this level of closeness with them, something that wouldn’t be a thing if they were truly on bad terms, as her bluntness would often imply.  they seem to all have a comfortable friendship / understanding, one that recognizes she isn’t inherently looking to shit all over them 24/7.   even when she had the chance to simply save historia alone during the CoT arc, she went out of her way to ensure she got all 4 cadets that were left on the tower.   not to mention she saved erwin despite being right pissed at him at the time, something she honestly had no reason to do.   so no, historia isn’t the only person on her mind 24/7.

as much as ymir has said her goal was to live her new life for herself, she was never able to.  we see time and time again that ymir tries to be crass, tries to be blunt, gives in to being selfless, and then tries to play it off.  she’s trying to force herself to change, but it doesn’t work.  at no point in the series had it ever worked.  nothing about her inherent character changed, she never received ‘character development’ on that end, but guess what? that’s actually an incredibly realistic development. she realizes & succumbs to the fact that she was doomed from the start. i cannot emphasize enough how hard it is to change something so integral about who you are as a person. it takes a lot to do that.  we have an entire section of our brains dedicated to not doing it.  

in fact, no character in snk has gone through dramatic change without struggle or major prompting ( levi had to watch his comrades die, mikasa had to break her superior’s leg, and most importantly in this context, historia had to watch her best friend leave her ) .   and NONE of these happened in a flash, either. we have a 6-year skip to levi’s current behaviour, which is still crass / cold even if it is more selfless.  mikasa needs to be reminded of watching how her attachment plays into her choices during the serum bowl before succumbing, and (listen up this is important) historia only truly listens to ymir’s words of advice when confronting her father.  don’t forget that these two had known each other for years before current events, and ymir had been trying to get historia to stop acting the way she does the entire time.  WHICH MAKES SENSE.  in real life, PEOPLE DON’T JUST CHOOSE TO ‘CHANGE’.  it happens naturally, with a shitton of effort and mistakes, if at all. and i’m convinced isayama knows this.

in the end, ymir succumbs to her own state, a doleful  ‘i guess some things never change’  in giving herself up for reiner & bertolt to take.   she feels indebted to them, and knows she can’t deal with the guilt of it, and she’s done trying.  she got her second shot at life and couldn’t ever complete the one task she set out for herself : to just live for her own sake.  

she is pathetic, and i think that’s what porco was getting at in referencing her memories in the marley arc.  and i think his choice of words are really intriguing here? because he uses “を返し[て]くれ[た]” to refer to ymir giving her his brother’s titan back, with both を返し and くれる being things you typically say about someone who’s doing you a genuine favor, like out of good will.  the way he’s saying this aligns heavily with how ymir felt she was indebted to them, despite how he clearly disagrees with her views by calling her straight up pathetic for them lmao.  

the last things we hear her say are that it “doesn’t feel so bad to be a goddess”, again emphasizing that she does these things because they are, in essence, what makes her feel nice.  she feels genuine happiness in giving herself up.  a feeling that goes unmatched by any selfish deed she could ever do.  she even mentions in her letter that she has no regrets, likely through finally realizing this very fact and being able to put it into words, as before we see she doesn’t quite understand the behaviour herself.  and she mentions she regrets nothing, save for getting to marry historia, as if saying maybe this was the very thing that would have possibly felt just as nice.  

so again, i emphasize— she wanted to live selfishly for the rest of her new life, knows she should be happy that way, like everyone else seems to be — but in the end, she couldn’t.  not because of stupid plot devices, but because she genuinely couldn't live with herself unless she did.  when she apologizes to historia, i’m convinced it’s not just for abandoning her, but for proving she’s been nothing but one huge, fake hypocrite this whole time.   after all, ymir’s just like her ;  she wants to do good, wants to help others, and can’t fathom the thought of ever feeling worthy enough for a shot at true happiness.  really, she was being selfish to the end, as she was chasing what made herself feel good as opposed to what someone like historia might have preferred from her, or what R&B even offered to let her do.

HISTORIA     /          now another point i feel i should bring up is that ymir was actually going to bring historia with her, but only under the pretense that she’d live a better life.  

don’t forget ymir lived lavishly up until she was caught as a false prophet, and she likely assumed that with her royal blood, historia would too.  she thought paradis was done for, but when she realized they weren’t, she made the split-second decision to both sacrifice herself for reiner to have something to bring back with him ( thus preventing him from possibly going after historia in place of eren again ) as well as letting historia continue her life as historia, where she was already happy.  

at this point, ymir had seen historia finally spit back the words she’d spoken for so long, and was likely under the pretense that she would be fine, that they had finally stuck.  she saw no reason to keep herself present in hisu’s life ; she’d finally been able to break through to her.  but no matter what, at that point, she had already chosen to sacrifice herself for historia’s sake, and the more she listened to R&B, the more she solidified this idea.

EMPATHY     /         ymir felt fucking bad for R&B.  we get a ton of cutshots to her expression when eren tries to confront bertholdt’s morality, and practically defends him by telling eren he’s being childish for immediately wishing death on him.  we see her getting quiet when she brings up marcel,  and then again showing empathy for bert’s position in all of this.  this is again emphasized when bertholdt asks why she saved him.  but the last two don’t even matter, because by the time they begin leaving the forest she had practically already cemented the fact that she was going to go with them in believing she would never see historia again. 

of course, we might still get more insight on ymir and her motifs, but for now, this has always been how i interpreted her actions, and i never once questioned them.   yes, it would’ve been nice for her to finally set aside that aspect of herself and return with historia, but as i mention in my paradis verse, doing so wouldn’t have cured the innate guilt she feels towards living.  especially now that she’s spoken to R&B.   she realizes she took this from them and feels undeserving of this second shot at life when she couldn’t even do anything with it.  she was supposed to live for herself, and there she is doing everything in her power to save historia instead.  i’m sure ymir feels like a failure over that, and i’m sure it really fucks with her psyche, and factors into why she’s so willing to literally accept death by going back with them.

so by having ymir choose R&B over historia, she was going against  ‘development’  her character literally never had. every single ymir cut shot / flashback in these chapters literally emphasize just how much she does for others, all while trying to hide it under a mask of false ambiguity for her own sake. 

so yeah.  i love ymir.  she deserved better.   thanks for listening to my TED talk.

#long post x #rip to anyone on mobile ig #°﹙ APOCRYPHAL HEADS // ❛ ʷᶦˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʳᵘˢᵗ ᶦⁿ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˢᵃʸ ? #i have.... a lot of feeligns #this is too many fucking words just ctrl + f your char if you care to Save Yourself The Pain

[discovering-ellie]

August 23, 2021 - Post Two

Mindfulness, Day Ten. Not gonna lie, I'm still kind of "what the fuck?" with this card. Not because it's bad or anything, because it's not, but DAMN. If I'm not careful, this is going to send me down one of those weird thought passageways like the one from a few weeks back where I got super sad about the mental and emotional toll the ending of the original Back to the Future put on Marty McFly in the long run.

Ahem. Anyway. Today's selection comes from "Curiosity & Joy" because, I don't know, we could all use a little more of both of those things in our lives

Front: "Who knows?"

Back: As you deepen your mindfulness practice, the question of who and what it is that is aware of all of this experience starts to become more and more prominent. If we are aware of our thoughts, then can we actually be our thoughts? Spend 5 minutes sitting with this question and pay attention to what comes up in your mind."

My Interpretation: Okay, so straight out the gate, my mind immediately wanted to make an MCU "lololol this is about The Watcher" joke so I'm just going to get that (jokingly) out of the way. This card straight up confirmed that The Watcher is real, which means that these cards exist in the MCU, which means -I- exist in the MCU, which means all of -you- exist in the MCU. We are all glorious characters in the MCU canon. There, you're all welcome.

Now, back down to Earth for a second for the actual content of the card. I think that, in some sense, we can and will be our thoughts -- however, a lot of different factors come into play with that. Thoughts exist, in a sense, to help guide us through our day either by working us through a situation or a feeling, or simply just distracting us from the mundane as some form of entertainment. I think that whether or not we commit these thoughts to our hearts and minds depends a lot on a few different factors, namely current position in life and mental/emotional state. When we're feeling good about ourselves/our current position, it's much easier to push away the negative thoughts of "oh, I'm the worst. I suck" and other negative thoughts of that nature. We're more likely to embrace the positive, adventurous thoughts, therefore becoming positive and adventurous. And, yeah, it's still very, very possible to get wrapped up in the negative thoughts for a time, but it's also easier to pull away from them when you're in this sort of headspace, or at least have some tools to help guide the way.

On the opposite side of that, it's MUCH easier to embrace the negative, darker aspects of our thought processes when we're not in a good space -- and it feels almost impossible to accept the positive thoughts, thus "becoming" all of the negative thoughts that continue to pile on top of one another during that time. It's, again, possible to pull yourself back from that, but it's exponentially more difficult to do so -- especially when you don't have the tools to help facilitate the change.

So, in a nutshell, yes. We can be our thoughts, but it all boils down to the matter of choice and which thoughts we choose to feed into at any given time.

Plan of action: Is this even a card that could use a plan of action? I don't know. Maybe something like taking the time to sit with and process my thoughts more than usual. Is there a reason why I'm having this thought? Is there something going on that might have influenced it? Is this thought something I -actually- think of myself, or is it just a passing thought due to something happening in the moment?

DBT Skills Card Update: Nothing much really to report today. It's been a quiet couple of days but that also means that there isn't really anything negative to report about my progress, either.

Routine Update: That, somehow, is still managing to hold on after all of these weeks. I'm actually starting to work more things into my routine. I'm also thinking about adding little challenges for myself to do every couple of weeks to shake things up. Nothing too crazy, but definitely a little boundary-pushing for me (examples include going out into the world without makeup on, trying something new, etc.) Ideas and recommendations are absolutely welcomed.

Big Emotion Documentation: So, since I've started logging these, I've only had three of these moments; one of extreme sadness, one of extreme joy/excitement, and then..... whatever this one was. Just, I don't know, you guys. Shit was weird. *What was the emotion? - Blank. Nothing *How long did it last? - Maybe about 10 minutes at the most *What prompted it? - Absolutely nothing. It was a calm, neutral moment *How did it physically feel? - A heaviness in the center of my chest, feeling like it's moving upward into my chin/lower jaw, general uneasiness. *What did I do? - I took several deep breaths with slow exhalations while continuing on with my work tasks. Even after the feeling subsided a few minutes later, I continued with the deep breathing until I was sure that the feeling was gone.

"I am already everything I am trying to be. I will see that if I stop for a minute."

#mental health #mental health blog #mental health journey #mindfulness #DBT #defusion

[blueincandescence]

A Non-Toxic Reading of TLJ

http://scavengersholocron.com/category/home/why-the-last-jedi-isnt-just-bad-its-toxic/

This article — “Why The Last Jedi isn’t just Bad: It’s Toxic” — is going around tumblr as the best compilation of TLJ’s faults. I read it eagerly, hoping to understand what I missed. It’s a very thoughtful read and it made me think a lot about my assumptions. 

I still feel that there is a valid non-toxic reading of TLJ, because the arguments are predicated on two beliefs that I simply don’t share.

1) Kylo Ren is portrayed as sympathetic.

I never felt that. Fuck Kylo Ren. He gets a deeper backstory. Luke isn’t perfect. It’s more complicated. Blah, blah. In the end, he isn’t redeemed; his redemption is shown to be a lost cause.

From the article:

In other words, there’s nothing relatable when you think about a wealthy white male growing up sure of his place in the world and deciding to leave it all behind to join a fascist organization.

Exactly! That’s what the movie shows.

So the argument is that Johnson says that Kylo “is relatable because of his angst.” And, yeah, that piece may be somewhat relatable to some people. I find it insufferable and I’ve been rolling my eyes at this trash character from day one. But he’s a perfect example of millennial fascism. Kylo Ren is the living embodiment of, “Cool story, bro. It’s still murder.”

But wait, wouldn’t that mean that Rey’s entire role in the movie basically focused on developing Kylo Ren as a character? It does, and you wouldn’t be wrong to think that way.

I was pretty checked out during the Rey/Ren scenes and was really hoping they would go nowhere. Which they did! Rey does the Luke Skywalker thing of trying to save the villain but the villain doesn’t want to be saved because he is the worst so she leaves him to his fate. Subverted!

The Kylo Ren I watched on screen is not sympathetic. He’s pathetic. Will that stop shippers from glorifying him? No, but Rey rejects Kylo’s millennial fascism our-version-of-Nazisim-is-different-we’ll-be-benevolent-violent-dictators bullshit outright, so they’re still stuck in la la land.

2) That characters have to be perfect for us to love them.

They don’t! Heroes are fallible! NO ONE IS PERFECT. We all have lessons to learn. The good guys in this movie learn their lessons and become more admirable. The bad guys (spoiler! Kylo Ren) do not learn their lesson and doom themselves. 

Finn:

Again, from the article:

Until The Last Jedi where Finn is again painted as selfish and cowardly, and the film does not shy away from this fact.

Here’s some meta I wrote about Finn’s arc in TLJ. Finn’s arc isn’t that he’s a coward who becomes brave. It’s that he’s mistrustful of causes. Why on earth should he put his life on the line for the Resistance? Finn sees the world as morally gray. He tries to leave in TFA because he wants to live and, after all the terrible things he’s been through, he deserves it. His arc is about coming to terms with his identity as “rebel scum.”

Not to mention, it’s Rose who ultimately has to teach Finn about the seedy belly of Canto Bight and how it operates: through slave labor. Another character shouldn’t have to explain to Finn, of all characters, the tortures and ills of slavery. After all, that’s the only life Finn’s known, taken as his family and raised in a life of servitude as a Stormtrooper to the First Order.

Rose doesn’t teach Finn about the horrors of slavery. She prompts him to see it under the glitz and glamour of a freedom he’s never gotten to enjoy. The instant Finn realizes that slavery and torture are behind Canto Bright he rejects the whole place. Precisely because he doesn’t need to be taught that. His experience of slavery is much more stark and, well, fascist than Rose’s. But he never tries to deny that they’re equally bad. 

Finn is tempted by the gray side. But Benecio’s character snaps him out of that funk right quick. He takes his place as a leader of the Resistance. Destiny doesn’t tell him he has to be. No one passes on the mantle. He figures out what his morality is and makes a stand. That’s heroic!

Poe:

Painting him as a cocky flyboy with a chip on his shoulder just doesn’t work when it goes against everything we’ve been told about his character. The “lesson” Poe was supposed to learn was one he already knew.

What do we learn about Poe in TFA? He’s the best and he has the ear of General Leia. The rest is fanon and outside texts that a fraction of the audience have read. Poe is reckless in the way that action movies reward all male heroes for being. 

I didn’t feel less sympathetic toward Poe because of this. The whole plot is predicated on the idea that the audience will be on Poe’s side and mistrust Holdo. Poe is the character we care about, so it’s a surprise to learn that he can be wrong. In that way, “the action-oriented hero saves the day” trope is deconstructed.

Is it done well? Eh. The Holdo plot was contrived. There needed to be a better reason to keep the info secret — some stuff about spies or whatever, fine. Make an effort. But Holdo’s mistake makes us more sympathetic to Poe, even though he’s wrong his heart was in the right place. 

That’s precisely why he is rewarded in the end with command of the entire Resistance from General Leia herself. He’s learned that the best strategy for the Resistance is not the one that does the most damage to the First Order — the Resistance protects its people whenever humanly possible.

This is the feminist (in the philosophical sense; not the guy vs. girl bullshit) identity of the resistance that sets it apart from the masculine military-industrial complex the film abhors: Life is sacred. But, as we learn through Finn’s arc, choosing to put your life on the line is a heroic act. And thus we have balance. Finn and Poe make some mistakes along the way, but they end up exactly where they should be: The Leaders of the Resistance.

Rose:

Despite Kelly Marie Tran’s boundless enthusiasm for her role, Rose Tico is ultimately underwhelming as a character. Despite mourning the death of her sister, her ultimate presence in the film seemed to be reduced to a girl with a bad crush on Finn.

No!!!!!! Rose is fabulous. Rose stands up for herself at all times. Rose goes from hero worship to taser in ten seconds flat. And yes tasering a black man is in horrible taste given the world we live in. What standing up to Finn demonstrates about her character is that she’s representative of Ride or Die Resistance. She knows the world and its horrors. She mourns her sister but she’s proud as hell. She understands she’s only a tech but when she has expertise in something she doesn’t let the two most famous men in the Resistance talk over her.

Her crush on Finn is active. When Finn disappoints her, her conception of him changes. When Finn amazes her, her feelings take root. She does something about her crush. She saves his life. She kisses him. Rey is no longer the center of Finn’s universe. His capacity care grows and he grows, too. He still feels for Rey, sure, but Rose Tico is amazing and he knows it and the audience knows it.

...

All that said.

I will acknowledge that it is entirely possible I’m giving the movie too much credit. Maybe I'm willfully interpreting things not as they were meant, but as I would like them to be.

But isn’t that how fiction works?

I’m not saying TLJ is a perfect film or I wouldn’t have wanted less Kylo (please, lord, give me less Kylo). I would never say that other people’s interpretation of the film’s racism and misogyny is wrong. I’m going to continue to read articles on this topic and educate myself and try to grow in my understanding.

But is it wrong to celebrate the message I left the theater with if I can point to concrete moments and ways I read it as progressive? Is it wrong for me to love these characters and see the best in their arcs?

#the last jedi #rose tico #finn #poe dameron #star wars meta #star wars #star wars the last jedi #bluesaid #may the queue be with you

[shidoukanae]

Out of curiosity, why don’t you like Hayami?

I’m curious to know what prompted this but I guess I’ve made it a bit too obvious somehow that Hayami isn’t one of my most liked characters out of the entire VRAINS cast lol

(if you don’t want the specific reasons/examples on why I don’t like Hayami, there’s a summary at the bottom that tries to sum my feelings up properly without all the explanation attached)

But, to put it into simpler words - I really, really want to like her canon character but I can’t. 

There are a variety of factors for this but, to me, it just feels like she’s a near cardboard cut-out. When she was first introduced, this was actually kind of impressive: we had this sweet girl who was clumsy, loved to leap to conclusions, had maybe stalkerish tendencies towards Akira (as well as her obsession towards him which…*sigh*), and seemed to know a few things about SOL to the point she knew/paid close attention to the fact that Akira was formerly head of security. For a debuting character in episode 14, this was intriguing and I wanted to see where our new female character would lead us. I’m a fan of all the female characters the show had so far at that point (Ema & Aoi) so I hoped her rather peppy personality would prove as an interesting contrast to those two.

…Except, it never did. Hayami hasn’t improved past her initial character debut, has only had like maybe a running total of three minutes screen-time in which she’s shown talking. She hasn’t grown and, rather, it seems as if her character potential has shrunk to the point she’s dull and people actually seem to forget she exists because she’s that forgettable as a character. 

I mean, contrast her to Kitamura who also debuted the same time Hayami did in episode 14. Kitamura is not easily forgettable not just because his character isn’t attractive looking but because he’s interesting in a despicable kind of way. 

Kitamura is a very selfish man who’s been put unfairly into a position of power another character deserved. He’s very greedy, very backstabbing, his abuse of his “minions” and his lust for more money makes him an interesting character to watch especially since he totes himself as this big and grand power and is really just a coward. 

Not only that, but we keep seeing Kitamura over and over again, keep seeing him act as a villain to thwart Playmaker’s plans, to fight against Hanoi with the three masterminds, to abandon SOL to earn a place at Hanoi’s feet as data. He’s been so relevant to the plot that, without him, Playmaker would have had smoother sailing into the data bank (thus rendering Ema’s and Akira’s sneaky plan either ineffective or they get there too late for Akira to try and “Talk things out” with Playmaker). He also made the masterminds of Hanoi a credible threat with his bot army being defeated (and looking back at the duels with Playmaker and Blue Angel against the bots the fact that these 100 or bots were defeated so quickly is simply astounding) and his duel with Spectre leads to not only SOL being powerless in this time of crisis (bc they have no head of security now to try and figure out a way to fight back) but it also gives ample warning to the public about why to stay away (thus explaining why 99% of VRAINS players are not present along with the fact that Kitamura manipulated the news channels so no one would “interfere” with Hanoi’s plans). 

If we erase Hayami, however, there’s not much that can be said about her impact on the show. The only two major things I can think of that she’s done are: telling Akira off about wanting to control his sister and by apparently notifying him every time a Link VRAINS broadcast is on. Ema already did the first thing by telling Akira he has to let his sister go (so Hayami is literally just repeating the message) while the latter means that apparently Akira doesn’t care about Link VRAINS (even though it was part of his former job and involves his unpredictable sister a majority of the time??) so he needs someone else to pass him along information on the news even though Hayami probably shouldn’t be doing that while she’s working??

Like, the only new things we’ve learned about her since her debut is that she is a fan of Blue Angel and that she, like Ema (albeit in a less familiar way), doesn’t want to see Aoi controlled by Akira. She doesn’t really do or say much that impacts the plot and even if you go so far to say she serves a love interest to Akira (the only valid purpose I can see Hayami having at the moment for the show in its entirety aside from walking information booth), then she’s a very poor love interest especially when you compare her to Ema (and not just because I ship Akira with Ema. I would love to ship Akira and Hayami too but there is utterly nothing substantial there that doesn’t currently scream unrequited or borderline obsessive while with Ema it’s more unsaid intimacy and full of mystery and intrigue).

Not only that but, aside from the fact that Hayami works at SOL, it literally seems as if her entire life revolves around Akira. She doesn’t have any hopes or dreams or outside connections that don’t lead back to Akira some way (meaning being Aoi Zaizen’s fangirl doesn’t count. If she liked Playmaker or Go it would be more credible but liking Akira Zaizen’s sister…nah, that’s just a cheap excuse for an “outside” interest). Hayami frankly doesn’t seem to exist outside her office with Akira. Hell, she might as well live in that office of theirs for all we know because there’s no mention of family or bills or her dreams or her hobbies or anything that isn’t somehow related to Akira or giving him information. 

So, in the end, Hayami’s strictly a flat character in which her only purpose seems to be act as Akira’s way to get information on Link VRAINS/his sister while he’s at work. She doesn’t really push the plot in any meaningful way that couldn’t be negated by another character (or, hell, Akira himself) and she really doesn’t do much either outside of spilling coffee in her debut episode and simply just sitting around and talking or clacking away the keys at a keyboard. 

And, as she’s one of only four female characters in the cast, it really hurts me to see that she’s lacking any true substance in her character, especially when there’s so much different from the other three! She’s the only one of the cast who lives a “normal” life and yet we don’t hear anything about what that life consists of?? Like, Aoi and Ema and Vyra each seem to burdened and troubled by something either subtly or not and yet here is Hayami, who is care-free and an everyday citizen, and the best we get from her is obsessing over a character instead of actually getting to know a member of the female cast who’s not troubled? 

I mean, when you think about it, she’s technically Naoki’s counterpart in that while Naoki is a normal person who interacts with the main child - Playmaker - on a near daily basis, Hayami is the normal person who interacts with the main adult (as, when you compare Akira to Ema or Shoichi or even Dr. Kogami Akira has clearly had more relevance and plot importance than any of them so far). Yet, in comparison to Naoki who even gets his own VR form and mini sub-plot, Hayami is still a poorly-done character and hasn’t done much for the 16+ episodes since she’s first shown up.

And, while I admit we’re still early in the show and there is plenty of time for Hayami to shine just like Naoki or Kitamura or any of the other female characters of the cast, it sure as hell isn’t looking that likely. I get that she’s a side character but, as far as side characters go, she is absolutely the worst of them. She doesn’t have the personality or that Naoki or Vyra or Faust or Dr. Genome has, she doesn’t have the mystery and intrigue that Dr. Kogami and the Chess Pieces have, and she most certainly does not have major bearing on the plot like Kitamura had. She has potential to show us what “normal” in this world means, to give us insight that the other three female characters (+ most of the other cast) cannot and yet, as it is now, she’s been reduced to this rather flat and Akira-obsessive fangirl with little to no weight on the story of the show.

So, yeah, I want to like her but there’s just a variety of factors that accumulate in my disdain of her. Her episode 14 debut gave me hope but, after that, it’s hard not to admit she’s forgettable and literally just a pretty face in a cast that boasts itself on personality and mystery. Maybe, in the future, I’ll come around to actually liking her canon character but, as she is now, it’s really hard for me to like the show’s interpretation of her or even hope that she’ll get better.

Super short version if you don’t want to read my giant essay: I want to like Hayami but it’s hard to when her character is reduced to an Akira fangirl and, in comparison to other side characters, she falls really, really flat and almost has little to no bearing on the plot itself as of current. She feels like she’s there as a possible unrequited love interest but more so she feels like she’s only there to reinforce messages other people have told Akira and to give him information that he could probably find out himself about. She has potential as a “normal” character to show off what “normal” means in VRAINS and yet, outside of Akira, she seems to have no life, dreams, or anything that really makes her a living, breathing person like the rest of the cast VRAINS boasts. The show is in its early stages, I know that, but 16+ episodes in with only ~3 minutes screen time for Hayami in total does not bode well for her character nor does it give me hope that she’ll improve beyond being a character who practically seems to exist so long as Akira exists at SOL. 

#vrains #yugioh vrains #hayami #akira zaizen #Kitamura #Naoki Shima #Aoi Zaizen #Ema Bessho #I'm still giving Hayami the benefit of the doubt #but as of where we are in the show currently #I don't see much working in Hayami's favor to improve her character #she and Kitamura were the first new characters introduced aside from Dr. Kogami from our main cast #and yet she is the only one of them who STILL seems as if she is only newly introduced because she hasn't done anything #I get that she's a female character too but #VRAINS has done such a good job with the other three #and just because Hayami isn't a duelist can't she have the same intriguing personalities that the other girls have too?