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#those glorious videos and the sky wars videos are all I watch
barefeet-only · 3 years
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Remember when Technoblade said that April would be a better month and he would stream more.
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This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again 
Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes
Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens
Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon
Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be
MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT 
Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"
Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open" 
Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"
Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"
Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"
Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"
Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day" 
Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"
Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"
Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"
Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"
Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"
Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"
Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"
Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"
Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"
Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"
Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"
Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"
Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"
Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"
Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"
Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"
Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"
Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"
Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"
Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"
Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"
Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"
Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"
Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"
Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"
Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"
Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"
Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"
Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"
Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"
Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"
Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"
Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"
Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"
IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"
Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"
Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"
Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"
Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"
Goombape:"When i played it as a children"
Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"
Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"
Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"
Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"
Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"
Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"
Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"
Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"
Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"
Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game" 
Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"
Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"
Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"
Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"
IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"
Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"
Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"
Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"
Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"
Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"
Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here"  and he's right, there has to be a better way""
Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"
goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"
Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"
Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"
Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("
Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"
Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"
Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"
Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"
Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"
Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"
Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"
Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"
Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"
Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"
Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"
IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor" 
Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"
Sushiya,  testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"
Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock,  but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"
Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"
Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"
Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"
Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"
Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"
IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"
Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"
Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"
Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"
Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"
Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"
Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"
Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"
Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"
Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"
Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "
Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"
Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"
Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy,  I'll save my ammo for my suicide"
Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"
IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"
Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"
Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"
Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"
Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"
Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"
Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"
Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"
Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "
Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"
Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"
CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT 
Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"
Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"
Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"
Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"
Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "
Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"
Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"
Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]
Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"
Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"
Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"
Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"
Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"
Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"
maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"
Bolivia,  talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"
IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"
Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"
Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"
Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation,  the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "
Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"
IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"
Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"
Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"
Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination,  i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket" 
Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"
Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING" 
Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "
Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"
Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"
Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"
Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"
Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"
Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"
Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"
Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"
Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"
Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"
Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"
Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*
Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"
Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"
Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"
Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"
Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"
Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"
Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"
Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"
Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"
Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"
Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"
Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"
Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"
Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"
Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"
Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]
Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"
Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"
Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum,  why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"
Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"
Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"
Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"
Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"
Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"
IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"
goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"
Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"
Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"
Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"
Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"
Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"
Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"
Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"
Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"
Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"
Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"
Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"
Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"
Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"
Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"
Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"
Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"
Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"
Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"
Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed
Frequent reblogers
<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>
<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>
PLEASE REBLOG!
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magpiemorality · 4 years
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Platonic intruality with Remus as Patton’s guardian angel :0? Idk it’s an idea I had that I don’t think I could execute well but I think you could!! If I may add one more thing, could it be hurt comfort? I don’t wanna specify more because I wanna see what you do with it!!! (Okay bye now ily!)
This spiraled into something monstrous and painful and very, very cathartic. I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone to read, do watch the warnings. And remember; it is a story, and not an instruction booklet. Because of subject matter I’ve put a little summary in so there’s more warning about what’s coming!
And to you Chris, thanks for the prompt. It was special to write, in many ways.
The Hardest Fight Of All
Guardian Angel Remus has been assigned to help Patton Abbott, a sweet high school student with a very normal, decent life; nothing easy to spot for Remus to fight. But if the threat isn’t from outside, then it may be coming from within.
Warnings: Mental Health Issues, negativity, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional self-harm, what might be construed as bad handling of an individual with mental health issues, death mention (metaphorical). 
AO3
***
Patton Abbot didn't deserve his guardian angel. No really. He was sure he was nice enough, and he tried to be kind to everyone he could and forgive anyone that did him harm, but he didn't deserve a guardian angel for that! He wasn't in much danger, he didn't have a lot to complain about, with his perfectly normal life and normal parents and normal school. He even had normal friends! It felt selfish to have a guardian angel when he wasn't suffering at all really, and he hadn't earned it through doing anything particularly good either.
His guardian angel loudly, passionately and regularly disagreed, but Patton had yet to be convinced. Remus was lovely, but there were so many more deserving people that needed his help! He was flattered Remus seemed to enjoy being his guardian angel and hanging around with him but it was probably only because he was forced, and Patton was good at acting nice so at least he hoped he wasn't making the angel's job too awful.
That was if you asked Patton, at least. Remus would have a different perspective on things. But Patton hadn't... actually asked him? Because he was so obviously lying when he insisted Patton did deserve his presence and protection, because Patton didn't deserve it.
Over time though, something changed. Remus started to lose his glow, his wings began to droop and he stopped skipping and floating around above the ground, steps dragging heavier and heavier on the floor. Patton was terrified, constantly checking in with him because Remus was too important to feel bad, or get sick, or whatever it was that was happening! Patton had to help him!
When he woke up one morning to find Remus leaning on the windowsill, gazing despondently out at the garden and the rest of the houses he started to really panic. He had to be hurting the angel somehow, but how?! And how could he fix it?!
"Remus? What- what's up bud? You know you can always talk to me right? I think you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy!"
"I'm not so sure."
"You do!" Patton insisted, placing a hand between his wing joints on his back. "You do so much good, you're always taking care of me and you're so kind and lovely and fun and you-"
"It's taken me a while, you know," Remus interrupted. Patton went quiet apart from a soft, questioning hum. "To figure out why I was sent to you."
Ah. "Well it must have been a mistake, like I said before, but that's okay, you can consider-"
"Patton for the love of the sky and the stars; shut up."
Patton shut up, trying not to let the harshness hurt. He knew he'd been babbling on a bit, so it was probably his own fault, and after all even angels only had a certain amount of patience. And Patton knew he was annoying. But it still hurt just a little bit.
Remus rounded on him, eyes alight for the first time in weeks. He grabbed Patton by the shoulders and steered him back to the bed, sitting him down on the edge firmly and moving back to pace in front of him. Patton waited, still conscious of the reprimand, until Remus finally burst.
"I can't believe it took me so long! Honestly, I wasn't sure there was much to do here; you seemed so happy so much of the time, and you get along with almost everyone! Sure there's the odd bully, but its only ever in situations you put yourself into knowing they'll come, like that video channel thing of yours, and I suppose I assumed you realised you could just leave if you didn't want to see it all. You were so nice to them, too nice! But even when I visited them, sorted that out for you, or got you to spend time away from it, you were still... so hurt. And now, now I see the true problem. It's worse than I thought, and I'm- I'm so sorry I didn't see before, but I'm also angry, and it's not at you but it is-"
Unsurprising, Patton thought. That made sense, after all.
"Because the evil that I'm supposed to battle for you... is you."
Slightly more surprising. "Come again?" Patton asked, apologising quickly for speaking up. Remus bared his teeth as fury flashed over his face, flaring bright again for a moment. He looked... terrifying, but glorious. An angel in battle.
"There is no greater threat to you than yourself. And I don't know how to fight that! I'm angry because I'm sad; why would you attack yourself so viciously day after day, hour after hour, word after word and never afford yourself a single iota of the kindness you afford others?!" He stopped, chest heaving, and Patton felt the weight of an expected answer. He couldn't reply, just shrugging, which only set Remus off again. "You, the nasty horrible thing inside you, it's killing you! You feel like you're dying, and you just let it happen. I don't- I don't know how to fight that, I don't think I can fight that, and you just- " He growled, his morningstar appearing, only partially there, for him to swing in fury. "Everything they say to you that you rail against in public, you bite back against if those very words are turned on your friends with no mercy, you say the same things in your own head. You are so awful to yourself, you're just like them! I cant fight that!"
Patton swallowed. "It's not a big deal," he said weakly, heart hammering in his ribcage.
"But it is! And I can't do my job if you're the one stopping me at every turn! You don't even know you're doing it, or maybe you do and just pretend you don't, I'm not even sure anymore. But you desire so much better, why can't you take your own damn advice?! I don't- I don't think you even want to feel better sometimes, you've turned your suffering into so much of your identity. Do you actually like being this way...?" He cut off, narrowing his eyes at Patton suspiciously. Patton felt part of him squirm under that gaze, but another small part was quietly begging for the angel to go on, to finish lancing this horrid, deep-seated, ancient boil of Bad.
"It's not fair!" Remus finished. "You're doing it to yourself! Do you know how easy that is to stop?!"
Those were the words that finally got Patton up on his feet. Because no matter the truth of the rest of it; that was a lie. "It's not easy! It's not!" Thoughts of therapy and mental health diagnoses and the difficult of facing everything alone when it was easier to just suffer and frame it in martyrdom and help everyone and hope, pray that one day someone would help him too.
(And then push it away away away when that same help was offered back, falling into misery when that endless push- desperately testing his friends to their limits because he knew they'd get tired eventually- turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy as they ran out of support to throw against his walls of self-hatred and negativity)
Remus stepped forwards until they were chest to chest, gazing down from his height, fully blazing bright in the innocuous setting of Patton's bedroom. "But it is. If you want to."
Patton sat down again with a thump, feeling faint and nauseous. There was a moment of silence before he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to hide his face in. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. Because of the horrible cruel words? Because he didn't deserve even this harsh kindness (that felt like staring at the sun without protection or touching electricity, raw and painful and unfiltered for his comfort) after how awful he'd been? Because... because it felt terrible to even think about the fact that this could be his fault in some way?! And now Remus hated him just like the rest and he was going to leave and Patton would be alone and-
Two warm, gentle hands came up to cup his face and tilt it back into view, and Remus was there, looking stern and serious but not angry anymore. The relief that flooded through Patton was almost euphoric, like the weight of the entire sky lifted back up off his lungs. "I can't fight this battle alone, Patton," the angel said. "And I can't fight it at all if you don't truly, deeply, one hundred percent want me to fight it. To do that you need to understand that it's your battle too, that you have to put your armour on and go to war alongside me, if we're to have any chance at success. Because right now you're on their side, and you're sabotaging us from within."
"But it's my condition! My brain doesn't-"
"You think I don't know about that?" Remus frowned, rubbing his cheeks gently. "You've got medication. You've got a therapist, you have people who are trying their hardest to love and support you. But you can't survive the ocean on a raft of other people's making. It will stop you sinking, for a time- perhaps even for a long time, but you won't get any closer to shore unless you start to paddle. And as you paddle you'll also have to patch up any cracks in the raft with your own hands, perhaps with the materials you're given but the work to stitch it all together and sail it has to be your own. It's- I'm not a fan of metaphors but do you see? You can't be the only one not contributing to your own recovery."
"I'm not recovering from anything, I just have a negative self image and... and some other things. But they're bad! They're not things you get better from-" Patton tried, voice trembling and weak. Remus just looked at him, hands still on his face.
"Aren't they?" He asked simply. "You don't think you could ever manage to feel better than you do right now? You think all the stories of people improving their lives are... made up? You think, perhaps, that the medication is all a placebo, that once you've labelled the problem it's made permanent and nothing can ameliorate the symptoms or make life easier to live?" The angel leaned in and dropped a kiss to Patton's forehead, leaving a warm tingling in its wake. "The world would burn, if that were true," he whispered, before standing up.
Patton just kept on sitting in silence, face itching as his tears started to dry on his skin.
Remus gave him a small but real smile. "You've got plenty to think about. Consider my pitch; without you I will continue to fight the war, hopeless though it may be, but with you..." He grinned properly then. "Oh the things we could achieve, dear one."
And off he vanished, in a flutter of feathers and the sound of moving light.
It left Patton feeling as though, in the space of only maybe half an hour, the entire world had changed around him. He wondered, as he lay down on his bed, exhausted and reaching for his favourite plushie for comfort, whether what Remus said was what his therapist secretly wanted to say. It was a funny thought, mild-mannered Dr Picani ranting like the passionate angel, but Patton barely managed a lift of his lips. He needed to rest, and then he'd start to think about all this. If it wasn't true, if the angel was mistaken, seeing things that weren't there because of how boring it was being Patton's guardian; then nothing really needed to change except he would renew his efforts to get Remus reassigned.
If it was true though? Then that changed everything, and Patton Abbott would have a lot of hard work ahead.
He wished he knew which one he was hoping for.
-
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thegamercollective · 3 years
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7 Best Star Wars Video Game Ideas
Star Wars! You know it, I know it. It’s pretty great, right? Whether it’s the attacking clones or the returning Jedi there’s something for everyone in the vast Star Wars universe. But when it comes to video games the property seems largely underserved; as we pass the halfway point of EA’s ten year deal with Disney the opportunity for big, exciting AAA Star Wars experiences feels squandered, with only a few mobile titles and two tepidly received Battlefront’s to show for it.
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True, before the deal there were a number of excellent games from various developers like Knights Of The Old Republic and The Force Unleashed. But it would be great to see new titles with the same level of creativity with the technology and principles of the industry today. Twitch streaming equipment for beginners.
So without further ado, I present to you7 Best Star Wars Video Game Ideas!
7. Star Wars: Bounty Hunter Extraordinaire BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
This is a bit of a safe one, but for good reason. Borrow the open-space jet-setting elements of No Man’s Sky, Star Citizen and Beyond Good and Evil 2 with an emphasis on tracking down and eliminating bounties like in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt or Assassin’s Creed and you’re in for one hell of a time! The original concept for Prey 2 was similar to this, with the player running around a Blade Runner-esque future city hunting down criminal aliens.
Of course, the concept of a specifically Star Wars Bounty Hunter game has been in development for a long, LONG time, what with the cancelled Star Wars 1313 back in the LucasArts days and what is currently in development at Visceral Games. Even if it isn’t the most original idea it’s still an exciting one with a bantha tank-load of potential. Pink gaming chair under 100.
6. Rome Total Star War BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
The age of Real-Time Strategy games may have past its prime, but a handful of titles carry the torch for this corner of the galaxy. The Starcraft and Halo Wars franchises have elevated the genre from the days of Age Of Empires and – what do you know – past Star Wars RTS titles. Now would be the perfect time to return to that galaxy far, far away with a platoon of clones and a squadron of starfighters at your command.
This game could easily take cues from The Lord Of The Rings: Battle For Middle Earth RTS series, with the huge roster of hero characters swimming around the Star Wars canon. If this game lets me deploy Max Rebo to stun my enemies with the dolcet sounds of his red ball jett organ, it’s got my preorder. Corner gaming desk with lights.
5. Something something womp rats BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
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Imagine, if you will, a free roam survival game set on an iconic Star Wars planet, in which you must battle the elements and fierce creatures to provide for your community. That’s right, I’m talking about Meerkat Manor: Tatooine Edition.
Few games throw you in the body of a wild creature to do what wild creatures do. Star Wars is full of weird animals, so what better universe to pick from? I can already picture myself sneaking around profogg burrows as a lone womp rat hunting for unsuspecting prey, or migrating through a sandstorm with a family of babies clinging to my belly.
Not that it couldn’t be any other species; imagine hunting with a pack of ewoks or flying with a flock of porgs. You can’t tell me this isn’t something you’d play.
4. Knights Of The Old Republic, Again BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
Okay, maybe not specifically The Old Republic era but I’d love to see another Force-focused RPG in the Star Wars galaxy. The KOTOR games are some of the best RPGs around offering you the chance to explore your inner Force user, be you a benevolent Jedi Master or a ruthless Sith Lord. This classic formula with updated visuals and mechanics would be a sight to behold, and, if done by OG KOTOR developers and RPG specialists Bioware, it could be a major upswing for the downtrodden studio.
Jedi abilities could also be expanded in a more modern way; instead of jogging down hallways traversal could easily take cues from the likes of Prototype or Infamous. Combat could also take some inspiration from the Batman: Arkham series and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, with combo-based saberplay mixed in with Force abilities and weapon items.
3. Galactic Podracing Championship BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
Now THIS is podracing!
It might sound like a dumb idea, but imagine a deadly, high speed action racing game set on race tracks from all across the galaxy!
White knuckle chicanes through the ice caves of Hoth, glorious drifts along the beaches of Scarif, high octane dragging through the volcanic death traps of Mustafar or death-defying traffic dodging through the busy underworld of Coruscant. Throw in dynamic vehicle combat, environmental hazards and opportunities, forked paths and split-screen multiplayer and Disney would have themselves a grand prix winner.
Think of the possibilities! Be it Mario Kart arcade racing or Forza Horizon realism, this concept is nothing but supercharged, Force-injected, illegally energized podracer fuel ready to be shot straight through your visual sensors and into your brain!
Actually this game was made back in the Nintendo 64 days, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be reconceptualized for the modern gaming scene!
2. Mandalorian Warfighter BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
For those of you who don’t regularly scour Wookieepedia, The Mandalorian Wars took place around 4000 years before A New Hope between the Galactic Republic and the warriors of Mandalor. The conflict had a significant impact upon the galaxy and has been directly referenced in both Star Wars Legends and official canon, so for it to feature in a new piece of Star Wars media isn’t completely out of the question.
Okay, history lesson over.
I would love to see this period tackled in the style of Ryse: Son of Rome, Brothers In Arms or Star Wars: Republic Commando, with a small squad of soldiers (either Mandalorian, Republic or Jedi) at your command. The added need to look after your men, making sure they’re fully stocked on weapons, ammunition and survival supplies, while helping them cope with the mental trauma of war (ala Darkest Dungeon) would add a much needed layer of emotional attachment. With brutal violence and decisions to make similar to those of Spec Ops: The Line I think this could be an extremely exciting title that would shed some canonical light on an era of Star Wars currently left to speculation.
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1. For Honor, but Star Wars BEST STAR WARS GAME IDEAS
I think this one speaks for itself, but allow me to elaborate anyway.
The one big problem that I have with lightsaber combat in Star Wars games is that it never feels like you’re in as much control of your blade as a real Jedi. You’re either smashing an attack button to trigger pre-designed strikes and combos or prescribing a series of attacks from a list of abilities, just to watch them execute automatically. There’s so much room to elaborate on the various forms and styles of lightsaber combat with intuitive, malleable controls like those in Ubisoft’s For Honor.
Of course, I don’t just mean battle scenarios. A deep and interesting story about the Jedi and Sith with the significance of the lightsaber itself a thematic focus and some light RPG elements (character customization, a morality system and ability/lightsaber upgrades) would help tie the whole package together.
Imagine charging down a hillside battlefield as a powerful Sith Lord, lightsaber at the ready, when a Jedi Knight appears before you. As the battle rages on around you you analyse and deconstruct the enemy’s stance and form and change yours for to optimize your strategy. You hold your blade out, moving it to block the oncoming attacks waiting for the perfect time to strike. With bursts of lightning and other force abilities you bring your opponent to their knees and execute a brutal, glorious victory. In the words of Anakin Skywalker, “this is where the fun begins.”
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eurosong · 4 years
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Undo my ESC
Good evening, folks! If you saw my first instalment of “Undo my ESC”, the annual feature where I make a year’s Eurovision better for me by making alterations in each country, you might have thought that ESC getting cancelled had dulled my edge, since, comparing to usual standards, I hardly changed much at all there. Well, that’s because, once again, we have seriously uneven semis, and Semi #1 would have been killer, whilst Semi #2 would have been dead. Here is what Í would have done to even those semis up! 🇦🇱 Albania: The Albanian delegation had seemingly done all it could to wash its hands of, well, two years of comparatively excellent results with authentic, melancholically poëtic and qualitative tracks, namely Malland Ktheju tokës. They brought in Byuckman, in whose interest it is for the contest to become as generically “radio-friendly” as possible, and the genius who brought us lyrics like “this is love/rain falls from above”. As judges. Of a serious musical festival. The foreign jurors did as expected, and voted for the appointed “bop”, but were foiled, however, by one of the minority Albanian jurors on the panel who put it  low in her ranks. An actual renowned music professor who got called all the names under the sun for doing so. And so, to an ensuing shitstorm, the classical and powerful Shaj prevailed instead. Unfortunately, the battle was won but the war was lost, because the representative herself took the lessons of 2018-9, threw them down the aeroplane toilet on the way to LA, and ripped the spirit out of the song, reverting back to the previous Albanian trend of terrible “revamps” and laboured translations into English. The result, Fall from the sky, is but a husk of the original. In my ESC, I’d probably simply keeping the original version of Shaj, which was my uncontested #1 of all songs, but part of me would opt for Ajër, which I love almost as well but which doesn’t carry the baggage of hanging over my head like the sword of Democles this entire season. 🇦🇲 Armenia: I’ve more often than not loved the entries of Hayastan, from the joyous Jan Jan to the soaring Fly with me and defiant Walking out. To say they took a step back this year is kind – it was more like a powerful jump backwards that landed them in the nearest ocean, where they sank like a stone. It was one of the most singularly unpalatable NFs that I have ever watched in this era. Rather than retraumatise myself by going into detail about it, I’ll just say, I would have sent Srbuk or Artsvik again to get the top 10 that I feel both warranted!
🇦🇹 Austria: What a journey for Österreich. From Conchita to this guy, a perky homophobe who explicitly said he wished his kids would not turn out to be gay. He comes up with a third-rate impersonator of a third-rate Benjamin Ingrosso impersonator’s third-rate impersonation of a Timberlake b-side. I would throw that in the bin and invite Pænda back from last year for a shot at redemption after her gorgeous Limits got slept on in 2019.
🇧🇬 Bulgaria: Some people had the neck to say to me “who needs Hungary when Bulgaria is coming back?” Well, I do. Hungary were constantly in the top of my rankings, and just quietly and consistently brought quality. Bulgaria has brought me one good thing – Poli Genova’s œuvre – and a tonne of hype. Their song this year was one of the favourites, and I still can’t wrap my head around how other than the force of PR. It’s a bizarre, unsettling combination of passive-aggressive “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” lyrics with Disneyish saccharine accompaniment, topped off with a key change?! For want yet again of a national final, I would bring Poli back – third time even luckier? 🇨🇿 Czechia: The Bohemians (and Moravians) keep it contemporary but superficial for a third year running, although, thankfully, for the first time since they began doing national finals, we finally have a song without a dubious attitude towards women in the lyrics. Not that there is much to analyse in those lyrics. It’s a merely ok song for me, no better, no worse: a superior alternative would have been Barbara Mochowa’s lush and contemplative second effort, White and black holes, or the glorious 90s British indie-influenced All the blood. 🇩🇰 Denmark: Did Denmark confound international monitors into calling it the world’s happiest country by exposing them to the relentlessly cheery songs that they pick for Eurovision lately? And yet – I really do say yes to Yes, To a certain extent, to a limited amount of exposure, and despite the fact that it leans a little too hard into the territory of sounding like a second Little talks. It was one of the few good songs from DMGP – I also liked the 80s shoegaze-ish Den eneste goth– and I feel so mad at DR that they won’t give Ben and Tan a guaranteed second shot to represent their country after they won in front of an empty crowd. 🇪🇪 Estonia: The days of Eesti being Beesti seem like from a distant memory to me, but there was some quality and quirkiness in Eesti Laul, buried under mountains of beigedom, like the rich-voiced Egert Miller’s soulful Georgia, the jazzy Write about me, or the feisty earworm that was Ping pong. Instead, we got a dreary dirge with sub-Hallmark lines about wot luv is, which would have sounded dated in a contest 30 years ago, sung by a repugnant guy who tried to get people to vote for him last year by leaning on the idea that he was the “only true Estonian.” I’d have Egert get his rightful place as Jüri Pootsmann’s spiritual successor. 🇫🇮 Finland: I was one of the few to be jubilant when a bizarre ode to an Italian porn star with a backing track sounding like a violated version of Eläköön elämä came second in the polls to its spiritual opposite: a shy and rather awkward guy singing a quietly moving song about the passing of time. I love Looking back and wouldn’t change a thing. 🇬🇪 Georgia: You never know what to expect from Georgia, except the unexpected, and yet even I was surprised by what they came up with: a close-shaven guy with veins popping in his head screaming “why don’t you love meeeee?” to a rocky, electronic backdrop. Me being me, I actually do like it a lot. “Take me as I am” sounds like a veiled potshot at the big 5 and a vindication of Georgia’s “keep it weird, send what we want” philosophy. I could suggest that the lyrics, that sound like those of a spurned angsty teen, change a bit, but that would be defeating the purpose of Georgia: one takes them as they are. 🇬🇪 Greece: So, somehow, despite S!STERS coming dead last with 0 pts in the televote last year, using exclamation marks to substitute the letter I is now a thing in Eurovision with the advent of Superg!rl. I spent an hour watching folk waffle on in Greek in its reveal show only for them to reveal the song literally at the very end, so after that, it was a little underwhelming, and nowhere near as good as Better love in 2019. I don’t hate it – and the music video’s concept of her being an amazing superhero who can change the world, but instead she’s stopping people slipping over bananas and rescuing cats from trees is weirdly endearing, so it can stay, but I’d improve the lyrics, particularly in the chorus. “I’m a supergirl, supergirl, in a crazy world, crazy world” is not much higher than “this is love, rain falls from above” in historically bad Greek lyrics at ESC. 🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr came back from near-victory with the delightful Is this love, added a lovely inspiration in his newborn daughter to a similarly funky and playful track, and came out with Think about things. Unlike what usually happens with songs that are a little bit odd, I was positively surprised to see it walk the NF, and become a phenomenon even outside the ESC fandom. This was perfect and joyous from beginning to end. I hope Iceland will not be like the other Nordics, and will invite Daði directly back .🇱🇻 Latvia: I have come to enjoy the bizarre chaötic energy of Still breathing, It’s a hot mess, but I take weird over dull any day. It wasn’t my favourite in Supernova – that would be the effortlessly cool Polyester, an earworm with a social conscience, written about the cost of fast fashion but dismissed by many people as “she luvs t-shirts song lol”. Given that Samanta Tina tried over half a dozen times to go to ESC, finally won and then had the chance ripped out of her hands by the cancellation, I don’t have the heart to remove her from my ideal ESC 2020 though. She stays, but maybe the staging changes? It’s odd to have what you believe is a feminist anthem but then relegate your backing singers to in the distance, their faces shielded away. 🇲🇩 Moldova: Life is too short to follow Moldovan national finals, especially when you know, lately, that whoever is backed by the hilariously inaptly named Dream team will win there. They are like a parasite, sucking out the colour and fun out of a country that once had plenty of both – cross-reference Hora din Moldova or Lăutar to name just two examples. I guess out of an uninspiring lineüp, I’d go for Moldoviţa for having at least a hint of the brassy folk that used to be their calling card. 🇵🇱 Poland: Speaking of calling cards, after a one year hiatus with an arresting combo of white voice and rocky instrumentation, Poland has returned to what it has most often done in recent years – presented us with an absolute dirge, Empires, which seems like it was written by an unenthusiastic English student whose homework assignment (for which they received a generous C-) was to write a poëm with a bunch of metaphors “we’re moths to a flame, birds to a pane of glass, gasoline and a match”. Despite having a big music industry from which to choose many gems, Poland offers me little alternative choice given that there were only three songs in their grand final – one by the Czech representative last year who, as you might guess from what I said literally a sentence up, isn’t even Polish!Horny Elf, who’s contractually obliged to write only creepy lyrics for songs, tried to represent Polska with a song inspired by a true-life situation where he went around Tel Aviv with a cardboard cutout of one of the hostesses of the show. It’s a love song inspired by gallivanting around with a piece of cardboard. Addressed to that actual hostess. And it’s an almighty earworm that hasn’t escaped my mind since. Amazingly, his Lucy would be my Polish representative. 🇵🇹 Portugal: Portugal is another country beloved by me by for dancing to the beat of its own drummer, or perhaps, rather shedding tears to the strumming of its own fado guitar. They struggled being different, they won being different, and for the last few years they’ve struggled again, despite having a lot of support for both O jardim and Telemóveis amongst fans. This year, the televote went for one interesting song, the charmingly Gallic, accordion-drenched Passe-partout, a song about a cultured girl shaking off her boorish ex who could “never even get into Piaf”, whilst the jury got behind another interesting song, Gerbera, an entrancing, arresting and poëtic song laden with metaphor about the idea of music competing itself. This let Medo de sentir,second in both polls, turn silver into gold. It’s a lovely, heart-felt track, but rather unexceptional - I would have had one of the other more singular songs win. 🇸🇲 San Marino: The weird boil on the face of ESC that somehow never pops, SM is back after its bewildering qualification with a tone-deaf dentist wailing to a microwaved disco song… with something actually palatable, sort of. The aptly named Freaky is dated, odd, overly busy, but Senhit has a lot of charisma, and the idea of “break[ing] all the rules, mak[ing] up some new [ones] and destroy[ing] all of them too” and “life goes by too quickly not to be freaking it up”, well, maybe we do get on board. 🇷🇸 Serbia: Serbia is usually a byword for quality at the contest – they won with one of the best 21st century winners hands down in Molitva, and also sent some of the most beautiful compositions in the contest’s history at the hands of Željko. This year, they decided to join in the leitmotif of reliable countries sucking by sending a group that sound like a third-rate mid-2000s girl band from Transnistria when beautiful songs like Cvet sa Prokletija were right there. 🇨🇭 Switzerland: Fair play to the Swiss for not doing a Cyprus and leaning in on their success with their male Fuego, She gat me, and instead going in a completely different direction with this moody effort. I’m not entirely convinced by the teenage emo-ish lyrics or the unnecessary falsetto, but Répondez-moi is a refreshing effort, and has the bonus of being in French too! And the automatic qualifiers: 🇫🇷 France: You’ve heard of France, right? You know, that wee country south of Belgium, north of Andorra, not much of a music industry… or so you’d think, given that the troolee jeenyuss new delegation, who abandoned their brilliant national final which showcased how diverse and qualitative their music scene is despite it being a huge success in the fandom, and instead reached out to the writer of last year’s last place song for the UK and a few other rentaswedes and they produced something that sounds like a b-side that not even Westlife would have recorded, replete with a stock key change. About as French as IKEA köttbullar. A real shame for one of Europe’s most highly esteemed cultural hotbeds. If they wanted to pick Tom Leeb, who seems like a nice guy and has written some lovely music, he could have made his own song and it would have indubitably been scores better than this. 🇪🇸 Spain: I’m going to apply this to all the automatic qualifiers voting on this semi-final: they scrapped a national final for this? OT was not an ideal format as last year demonstrated with its shit show of contestants sabotaging themselves so as not to get picked for ESC – but still. There’s not much I can say about this other than I don’t like it much and I’d rather Spain return to a proper NF. You don’t spend time trapped on a bus where this song with its torturous falsetto was on replay and emerge with fond feelings. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Usually, in this space, I can point to a song that the UK should have sent and that I fell in love with – like I wish I loved you more or You. Once again, though, another big 6 nation scrapped their NF after tanking it with a bizarre format last year. The BBC said nothing for months, then were unwilling to spend tv time on ESC this year so just blurted out an announcement of an announcement in  about 40 seconds after some dance show. And then they dropped this song. It’s… passable at best, with an annoying chorus (especially that beat in “my last… breath”) and a staggering amount of repetition in a song that clocks in at only around 80% of the standard Eurovision song length. James Newman surely could have come up with something better. It’s a baby step in the right direction, but one taken at the shore where you need to start running to avoid getting pulled away in a rip.
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letterboxd · 4 years
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How I Letterboxd #5: Will Slater.
Talking mullets and other manes with the man behind the internet’s definitive ‘exploding helicopters in movies’ catalog.
“Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment.”
A London-based PR man by day, by night Will Slater has a thing (and a podcast, blog and Twitter account) for movies that feature exploding helicopters. According to his Letterboxd bio, it’s “the world’s only podcast and blog dedicated to celebrating the art of exploding helicopters in films… as well as shaming those directors who dishonor the helicopter explosion genre”. As Will tells Jack Moulton, he also loves film noir, Wakaliwood, masala movies and much more. Just don’t get him started on the one action movie cliché that never fails to disappoint.
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Sylvester Stallone takes aim in ‘Rambo III’ (1988).
First things first, have you ever had a ride in a helicopter? Will Slater: What, do you think I’m mad? Of course I’ve never flown in a helicopter! If I’ve learned anything from watching hundreds of films where helicopters spectacularly explode, it’s that they are a singularly dangerous form of transport. You never know when Sylvester Stallone is going to pop up with an explosive-tipped arrow and blow you out of the sky.
I’m going to say the words ‘the definitive action hero/heroine’. Who pops into your head first? No runners-up. Go. Snake Plissken, no question, for a number of good reasons. First, there’s the look: that eye-patch, the beaten-to-hell leather jacket and Kurt Russell’s lustrous mane of hair. Second, there’s the attitude: his contempt for authority, the drawled sarcasm and all-round bad-assery. And I also like that he doesn’t have any special abilities. Action heroes generally tend to be either musclebound slabs of beef—Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stallone—or martial arts specialists—Jean-Claude van Damme, Jackie Chan—Plissken is just a pissed-off, angry dude who’s trying to stay alive. He’s very relatable. Plus, I’d argue he pretty much invented the whole anti-hero formula that rules our screens today.
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Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken in John Carpenter’s ‘Escape from New York’ (1981).
When did you start your podcast and which film got you into looking deeper into the topic? It was while watching the cheesily bad Cyborg Cop that I first had an epiphany about the weird and wonderful ways in which helicopters seemed to continually explode in movies. But the film that convinced me to start documenting the phenomenon was Stone Cold. If you’re not familiar with the film, it was an attempt to turn former gridiron star and mullet-king Brian Bosworth into the next big action star. It goes without saying that Stone Cold did not transform ‘The Boz’ into the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the film wasn’t a total failure as it features a helicopter explosion that is as brilliant as it is gloriously stupid.
And that was the prompt to start the Exploding Helicopter. I launched the website in 2009, and the podcast followed 2015. Since we started, our aim has been a simple one: to celebrate the strange and inventive ways that helicopters explode in films.
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Motorcycle crashes into helicopter in mid-air, ‘Stone Cold’ (1991).
When did you join Letterboxd? What are your favorite features here? I’ve been around since 2013. As for the features, the stats are very cool. When you dig into your viewing history, you can learn some very revealing things about yourself. For example, I generally like to think I have a commendably broad taste in film, and watch only the most important and influential works from every decade, genre and country. But then you look at the data and find you’ve watched Thunderball nine times in the last five years, so maybe you’re not as cool as you thought.
We noticed that your profile faves are low-key and explosion-free, given your theme of choice. Why these four and not Die Hard four times? Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment, between watching whirlybird conflagrations. There’s a little bit of nostalgia tied up in The Ipcress File. I first saw it as a kid, and it made a big impression on me. It’s very stylishly directed, has a great John Barry score and a star-making turn from Michael Caine. I’m a big film noir fan and Sweet Smell Of Success is a beautifully sour tale of cynicism and manipulation. To borrow the words of Burt Lancaster in the film, it’s a “cookie full of arsenic”.
Jean-Pierre Melville is my favorite director and Le Samouraï was the first of his films that I saw. What Melville does so masterfully in this, and his other crime films, is distil the elements of film noir. Basically, he takes the genre’s iconography—the gun, the trenchcoat, the fedora—and familiar plot tropes—the betrayed assassin, the heist gone wrong, the criminal doing one last job—then elevates them above cliché into something almost mythic. And what do I really need to say about Taxi Driver, other than it’s a masterpiece?
Now you say you shame directors who dishonor the art of helicopter explosions? Which directors did you dirty? Well, one of the biggest names in our hall of shame is Tony Scott. For a man who specialized in hyper-stylized, pyrotechnic-filled action movies, he flunked every helicopter explosion he filmed. In our eyes, one of the most egregious offences you can commit is failing to show the helicopter explosion. And in both Spy Game and Domino, old Tony cheats the viewer by having the chopper fly out of sight before it explodes. Now, I can accept such visual chicanery in a low-budget film, where they presumably don’t have the money to stage the scene, but what’s Tony’s excuse? If you look at his filmography, at one time or another he’s wrecked trains, planes and automobiles in spectacular fashion. But for some reason, he repeatedly couldn’t be bothered to give us a satisfying chopper conflagration. At a certain point, it starts to feel like a personal slight. Tony, what did I ever do to you?
In your immortal words, “a film is always improved by a helicopter explosion.” When has this been especially true? When you see lists of worst-ever directors, Uwe Boll is a name that always seems to turn up. And, according to the internet, one of his worst-ever films is the video game adaptation, Far Cry. Now, I’m not going to try [to] convince you that the film is a neglected classic, but it does have a very imaginatively staged exploding helicopter scene. It’s too convoluted to explain here, but take my word that it wouldn’t be out of place in a Fast and Furious movie.
What about the unsung heroes; the stunt artists, the pilots, the pyrotechnicians, the VFX wizards who have worked on numerous iconic action moments, all of whom deserve a shoutout? Personally, I don’t understand why the Academy doesn’t have a stunts category. But if they did, I’d be lobbying hard for Spiro Razatos to get the first award. These days, he works as a stunt coordinator on the Fast and Furious and Marvel films, but I’d like to draw people’s attention to some of his early work. Back in the nineties, he did a lot of work with PM Entertainment films, an independent company that made low-budget action films for the home video market.
They might not have had much money, but they put every cent on the screen with glorious, raucously inventive set pieces that were often more spectacular than big-budget Hollywood offerings. And remember: this was in pre-CGI times, so every death-defying detail was absolutely ‘real’. Go back and watch films like The Sweeper or Rage, and you’ll can see why Super Spiro has now graduated to these more prestigious gigs.
Narrow this list down for us: which is the ultimate most spine-tingly epic “we got company” movie moment? As you may have gathered, I do like an action movie cliché. When you encounter one in a film, it’s like meeting an old friend. And one of my favorites is when someone uses this classic line of dialog to signal that a car chase or a gun battle is about to start. I’ve heard people deliver the line in all sorts of ways–funny, scared, angrily and often just badly. But if you want spine-tingly, then you can’t beat Harrison Ford in Star Wars. He drops the line during the detention-block scene after failing to bluff an imperial officer. As soon as he says it, John Williams’ iconic score kicks in. It gives you the ‘feels’ every time.
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“Boring conversation anyway.” Han Solo and Chewbacca in ‘Star Wars’ (1977).
And which action movie cliché can you simply not stand? Stop it: my hackles are raising just thinking about it. For me, the trope that never fails to disappoint is the ‘reluctant’ hero being convinced to take up arms and join the fight. You know the scene. Invariably, the hero has hung up their spurs and is living a bucolic existence ‘off the grid’, when a gruff buddy shows up asking them to risk almost certain death by taking on ‘one last job’. Now, dialog is rarely an action film’s greatest strength, and these beefcake actors generally are not cast for their dramatic chops. Which means we get subjected to the same perfunctory and uninteresting scene over and over again: “I told you, I’m out the game”, “Goddamnit, we need you”, “OK, I’ll do it”. These scenes just never work and are never less than painful to watch.
Which up-and-coming action director are you most excited about? In terms of up-and-coming action talent, I’d pick the director Stefano Sollima. I first noticed his work on a couple of TV series: the fantastic Italian crime dramas, Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah. The way he composed shots really stood out, and it was clear he had a very cinematic eye. He rather reminds me of Michael Mann. He’s now on Hollywood’s radar and got to direct Sicario: Day of the Soldado the other year. And he’s lined up to make a Tom Clancy adaptation with Michael B. Jordan. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.
Have you witnessed the glory that is Wakaliwood—Ugandan DIY action filmmaking—three of which make Letterboxd’s official top ten films by black directors? Which international films do you feel out-match Hollywood? I love the Wakaliwood films I’ve seen. It’s fascinating to watch action films from around the world and see their different styles and flavors. Recently, I’ve been trying to investigate Indian cinema and, in particular, what are known as ‘masala movies’. These mix action, comedy, drama, romance and dance numbers into one big, crazy, entertaining mess. They’re a unique experience. If you want to check one out, I’d suggest Dhoom 2. It’s bananas.
Can you believe there are only two female directors represented in your exploding helicopter list? Do you believe that’s due to systemic or thematic reasons? You have to say it’s systemic. Men have dominated filmmaking for more than a century. Until women have the same opportunities to direct and make films as men, it’s impossible to know what their interest may or may not be in blowing up helicopters. [Will has previously written about the search for “true gender equality in the world of exploding helicopters”.]
To address the elephant in the room, how has Kobe Bryant’s unfortunate death earlier this year changed the way you look at these scenes? Obviously, I appreciate that Kobe Bryant’s death was very shocking and a tragedy for his family and fans. But basketball really is not a thing on these grim shores, so it didn’t register with us unenlightened Brits other than [as] a sad headline about a US sports star.
What was your most anticipated movie event of 2020 before Covid-19 pushed every tentpole back? That’s easy: No Time To Die. I’m a huge Bond fan and as soon as tickets were available, I booked myself in to see it on opening day at an IMAX. But if the Daniel Craig era is synonymous with anything, it’s lengthy delays between films.
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Freerunner Sébastien Foucan in the opening scene from ‘Casino Royale’ (2006).
What’s a fond memory you have in theaters related to the Bond franchise? I remember going to see Casino Royale. I was excited, but also nervous to see it. The Brosnan era had ended with the risible Die Another Day: invisible cars, kitesurfing and, worst of all, John Cleese’s awful Q. Since that had come out, we’d had Mission: Impossible, Bourne and the Triple X films, so it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that Bond might be finished. Then the first ten minutes of Casino Royale happened. And while that outstanding parkour-inspired chase was terrifically exciting, it also hit me like cinematic Valium. I suddenly realised I could sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that 007 was going to be just fine.
Are you planning on returning to theaters as soon as you can? When would you feel comfortable? I’m taking a wait-and-see approach. I’d love to see films back on the big screen again, but I want to know more about how cinemas are going to maintain social distancing inside.
Finally, what three Letterboxd accounts should we all be following? Why not give Todd Gaines, Jayson Kennedy or Fred Andersson a follow? If you’re interested in genre films that are a little off the beaten trail, they’ll likely all steer you towards some hidden gems.
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cozy-the-overlord · 4 years
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Viva La Vida
Word Count: 1,155
Summary: He built his empire from the dust and dirt with his bare hands, high above anything the men of his court had ever dared to dream. But he failed to see that his castles stand upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.
A/N: So I found this today when I was going through old files on my computer. According to the file, I wrote it on December 2, 2018, which sounds about right. I’ve had this idea in my head for longer than that-- I’ve loved “Viva la Vida” for as long as I can remember, and for that same amount of time I’ve hated the music video for it. I feel like the song tells such a rich, vibrant story, with so much potential for a visual portrayal, and they just... didn’t. This is basically the music video I’ve always pictured. Like I said, this is from a while ago, I haven’t edited it much, it’s kind of cringey, but... whatever. Here you go Tumblr. Thanks for reading!
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            He was born in a castle, surrounded by the encompassing walls of royalty. However, the title of prince they bestowed upon him as the priest sprinkled his head with water was meaningless. He was the second born, heir to nothing. It was only slightly consoling that his older brother’s power wasn’t much greater. Their kingdom was surrounded by walls, too: walls of countries, larger, richer, more powerful. He grew up watching his brother bumble through politics, always caving to the wishes of the stronger entities. He claimed it was for the good of the country. It was pathetic.  Had he been king, the younger brother would not just submit. No, it would be they who feared him.
           Disease struck the castle during the second year of his brother’s reign. He watched as those around him fell to Death’s cold blade, wept as his brother breathed his last wrapped in ashen sheets. But his face was dry as he knelt before the priest, head bowed as the crown found its proper stand. It was a sign from God, he knew. The throne was meant to be his.
           It had only been six months before he went to war. Sword high above his head, he led his ragged group in glorious battle, an illness that spread across his neighbors’ lands too quickly to be treated. It was a mere six days before he stood atop the enemy’s palace, gazing upon his new subjects. They stood crowded at his feet, illuminated by the dancing flames and carnage surrounding them, singing his praise: “Long live the King! Long live the King!”
           Within weeks, he ruled the sector. Within months, the seas. Within a year, the continent. He rode through towns and cities, smiling at their accolades and celebration. It was at one of these towns, when he stopped to sup, that a maiden caught his eye. The way her brown curls tumbled over her shoulders, the way she beamed as she curtseyed before him, the musical tingle of her voice as she said “my King”: he lost his heart to her in minutes. He rode home with an arm around her waist as she slept against his chest plate, fingers intertwined with his.
           He had reigned for three years when the problems began to arise. They still sang for him in the streets, but behind closed doors they whispered words of treason. Tyrant, they called him. Despot. Villain. Revolts sputtered to life in odd places across the land—never serious, always easily doused by his local armies—but it hurt his head. Why did they reject his rule? Did they not see all that he had accomplished for them? If not for the loving embrace of his Queen, he might have lost himself. He buried his head into her shoulder, melted at the touch of her gentle caresses, and let his worries fade.
           But still, something had to be done. He sat upon his God-gifted throne as rebels and traitors dangled to the sound of drums. It was a warning, he told the frightened pairs of eyes cowering beneath him. Follow his laws, and they would have no reason to fear him.
           They came in the night. Pounding through the gates, armed with torches and rifles, screaming and howling for his head upon a silver plate. His Queen rushed him to the far corner of the palace and opened a window.
           “Ride until you reach the sea,” she whispered in his ear as she let down a rope. “They will not think to look for you there. I shall follow when I can.” He would have kissed her, but the shouting and pounding had reached the door, and she pushed him away.
           “Go!” she hissed. He lowered himself down the pockmarked wall, watching as his Queen closed the shutters.
           He was able to make it to the stables unseen. Never had he saddled so quickly as then, barely paying attention to the horse upon which he was preparing. He galloped through the gate at full speed, praising the Lord for the distraction provided by the gold and finery of the castle, for the revolutionaries were now occupied with looting his palace of anything valuable. He stopped only once he had reached the crest of the hill behind his home, turning to see the chaos behind him. The castle burned, a blaze that stretched towards the stars in the sky. He could hear the screams from where he stood.
           He prayed for his wife.
           He reached the seaside town in two days, barely stopping to rest. It was a sleepy place, too sleepy for such carnage to reach, and although he knew he was safe, he could not stop his heart from bruising his chest. He feared for his Queen. Surely they would not lay a hand on her, he told himself. Even if they wanted to see him hang, they would not harm a woman. Even such brutal, mindless beasts would surely have some respect for such loveliness. But still he worried.
           She came to him a week after he left her, wobbling on bloody legs. Her dress was torn, her gorgeous locks ripped and ragged, her skin a map of bruises and cuts. He rushed to pull her into his arms, swearing vengeance upon the rats. She smiled weakly, but her face was devoid of light and her eyes swimming with tears.
           “Forgive me,” she sobbed. “They made me. Forgive me, my love, forgive me!”
           It was only then that he looked up and saw he was surrounded by rebels.
           They brought him back in chains, made him kneel before his own throne. His trial was a joke: they found him guilty of treason against their nonexistent republic before sentencing him to death amidst cheers from the same people who had once sang his name.
           “Off with his head! Off with his head!”
           They would not let him see his wife. He begged them to let him have one last moment with her, but they laughed.
           He stood tall on the wagon, ignoring the fruits and curses hurled at him. He refused to look at them. He refused to acknowledge the way his hands shook.
           It was as he climbed the stairs to the scaffold when he saw her. She was standing right in front of him, shackles weighing down her wrist and neck, her face filthy with blood and tears. When she saw him looking, she screamed in agony and attempted to rush towards him, only to be yanked back by the traitor holding her chain. He cried her name.
           They told him to kneel, and he did, eyes never leaving hers. She was bawling. He forced himself to be strong.
           They read his crimes. He kept his focus on her. I love you.
           He barely heard her cry as they swung the axe.
           Never an honest word. But that was when I ruled the world.
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comicreliefmorlock · 5 years
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So here's a fun game. What are, let's say...10-15 pieces of media (books, tv, movies, whatever) that seem to have been made JUST for you? why?
*cracks knuckles*
Surprisingly, not all of these will be Tanith Lee.
…however…
{And this goes under a cut because this is going to be a very long, verbose post. A really long, verbose post.}
1. “Tales from the Flat Earth” by Tanith Lee
These books are essentially like sitting by a crackling fire on a cool summer night beneath the glimmering night sky while a smiling crone cards wool and tells you the stories that come from a time aeons before your birth. I have never in my life found a quartet of books–let alone one book–that have so completely and absolutely captivated me. From the first page of “Night’s Master,” I was gone.
Not only the language–breaking the fourth wall and referring to “words lost when the world reformed itself in the chaos”–but the characters… Azhrarn, the personification of Wickedness who saves humanity with love. Uhlume, the personification of Death who faces a form of mortality and is forever changed by it. Chuz, the walking embodiment of Madness, who is gentle to those under his domain and understands that he cannot understand why he does what he does.
Ferazhin and Narasen and Sivesh and Simmu and Jornadesh and Kassafeh and Zhirem and Azhriaz and Dunziel… Names I have never forgotten because they all but sang to me. A flat earth that holds the best and worst of humanity, often balled into a single person, with Underearth and Innerearth and Upperearth holding gods that have grown so distant they no longer recall humans were their creation at all. 
I have always loved mythology and these books? These are myth.
2. Pan’s Labyrinth -dir. by Guillermo del Toro
I’m not from Spain or know Spanish. I knew nothing about the Spanish Civil War when I first saw this movie. And this was the first film I saw that cemented del Toro for me as the only man I would ever trust to turn Tanith Lee’s books into cinema. 
I love fairy tales, mythology and folklore. And when you read enough of it, you see how bloody it actually is. How terrifying it is to realize that you’re not the only one in the world, humans aren’t the only ones, there are creatures on the midnight side of reality that share space with you. 
And I never really liked the Disney version of fairy tales with “happily ever after” and weddings. 
This movie was literally like watching something I’d imagined for myself. The acting was fucking phenomenal, the sets and costumes were off the hook and the comparison of “fairy tale horror” and “real horror” that overlapped just blew me the hell away.
And Doug Jones… Doug Fucking Jones. I never respected mimes until him and now I give all the respect. Being able to act, to breathe real life into a concept and a costume until it becomes a character you could picture walking through a forest or peering around a corner while not being able to use your own voice OR your own facial expressions is a kind of magic I think does not get enough appreciation.
DOUG FUCKING JONES, LADIES, GENTS AND GENDER REBELS.
3. Fatal Frame - Tecmo
I’m a writer/reader, not a gamer. When I have downtime or I want to relax, I almost always gravitate towards a book instead of a video game. The few games I’ve played purely for my own enjoyment have usually been MMOs and involve roleplaying.
Except for the Fatal Frame series.
Survival horror is my favorite game genre and I lamented when Resident Evil became more “survival action” than survival horror. (Fuckin’ lickers in the original Resident Evil game oh my god.) I wanted a survival horror game that had some meat to it, had something really compelling about it.
And I found Fatal Frame.
I love Japanese mythology. I especially love Japanese ghosts. For some reason–maybe out of sheer novelty because I, being an ignorant American raised near the US-Mexico border, have had little exposure to it–Japanese ghosts are my absolute favorites. Yurei (and the other subclassifications) just have something to them that I haven’t found in other mythologies. I’ve read and reread Oiwa and Okiku’s stories, been fascinated by the concept of the Hyakumonogatari Kaidankai and wanted more of what I found.
Which Fatal Frame provided.
Not only do the game mechanics work beautifully for someone as easily startled as I am, but the story behind each individual game is achingly intense. The intricacy of the interwoven histories, the rituals, the underlying question of “was all this really necessary or was this a priesthood trying to stay in power”… I love absolutely everything about these games. 
4. “The Blue Sword” by Robin McKinley
I’m not going to lie–this book took me forever to actually read. The first two pages were so achingly boring that I had no fucking clue why my mother had recommended it to me.
And then one day, bereft of anything else to read, I flipped through it. I still distinctly remember the line that made me stop and go “wait, what?” – “…your horse tells me where you’ve been…”
me: wait what horses can talk in this? wtf? *flips to the beginning and sits down to fuckin’ read it*
Slogging through those first few pages? Worth it. Because Harry/Hari/Harimad was the first heroine I’d ever encountered that I could imagine myself being. She was too gangly and not particularly pretty and kind of clumsy. She didn’t draw admiring eyes everywhere she went, spent a lot of time going ‘I can’t do this wtf’ and had aches and saddlesores.
Meeting Harry felt like seeing myself on a page for the first time in my life. And seeing someone with flaws like me going through adventure and fighting and succeeding and failing and getting a happily ever after felt like a warm blanket. Like someone had written a book just to tell me: “It’s okay that you’re not beautiful or graceful or soft-spoken and elegant. It’s okay that you’re clumsy and a goof and your hair is fuzzy as fuck because you can be a heroine, too.”
5. “Whoever Fights Monsters” by Robert K. Ressler
No, I’m not a serial killer. :D Nor am I an FBI profiler.
However, after reading “The Silence of the Lambs” by Thomas Harris for the first time in ninth grade, I was fascinated by serial killers. Like… how did they do it? How did they get away with it? WHY did they do it? What kind of person did things like this? I wanted to know so much more and I started grabbing every book on serial killers that I possibly could find.
And the reaction of classmates and teachers who saw my reading material was… less than stellar. Even my mother was vaguely worried about what I was getting out of reading all…that.
It felt like my fascination with serial killer psychology was a flaw in my character that no one else seemed to share. Until I read “Whoever Fights Monsters” and saw Robert K. Ressler talking about the exact same thing. He wasn’t a “sicko” or a “freak” or a “lunatic” or a “killer-in-training” for being fascinated by the psychology of humans who could treat other humans like a moment’s disposable entertainment. 
And suddenly, neither was I. 
6. American Horror Story: Hotel - FX
‘American Horror Story’ is entirely my thing. Interwoven narratives of fascinating (and often awful) people combining “American horror history” with interpersonal storylines? Yes, thank you, I’ll take a dozen.
This season in particular, however, is just more for me than any other. 
Maybe it’s the vampires that are self-obsessed and not particularly powerful but end up with petty grudges and complaints. Or the ghosts that bitch and whine at each other, find consolation together, use Twitter and spend their long, long days doing little more than drinking, smoking and obsessing over their lives and deaths. Maybe it’s the single location with so many years of history weaving together like a book of short stories. 
I love ‘Hotel’ because it feels like Brandenburg to me. I could so easily see the entire season taking place in my fictional city and mentally insert my own characters into the show without losing a single step.
Also Kathy Bates is absolutely glorious and I desperately wish to be a tenth as glamorous as Liz Taylor. 
7. “The Butterfly Garden” by Dot Hutchinson
Books about serial killers? Yes, please.
Books about serial killers told by a victim who barely survived and understands what trauma really means? Yes, please.
What especially got me about this book is my thing for dioramas. The first one I ever remember seeing was in the El Paso Museum of Archaeology (yes, I’m from El Paso, Texas) and it always both frightened and fascinated me. 
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^ This one in particular would keep me motionless for ten or twenty minutes at a time, kind of terrified at a house within a building and then absolutely enthralled at a house inside a building.
And the dioramas mentioned in “The Butterfly Garden” were akin to those in “The Cell” –some terrible, awful glimpse into someone’s mind that was visualized and externalized in a permanent way. 
8. “War for the Oaks” by Emma Bull
I love the fae. 
And I also have read enough to know that those sprightly little fucks are terrifying and humans are rarely left unscathed by them.
This book was my introduction to “urban fantasy,” much as Charles de Lint was my introduction to what I consider “mythic fantasy” and a city that felt so much like my own. 
And what was so quintessentially, absolutely me about this book–other than the main love interest being the Phouka :D :D :D–was the underlying theme about creativity.
It’s a driving force, a magic that humans have. It’s uniquely human (as far as we know) and often the only talisman against the dark that we’ve got. With creativity, there’s magic. There’s a spark of something beyond the mundane realities of survival. Creativity is a sword and shield all in one, complete with a lure to bring others along with you.
Whether it’s through music, art, poetry or graphic design, creativity is the actual drive for immortality that pushes us to reach beyond ourselves and touch those we have no possibility of seeing or speaking to in our own short, real lives.
9. Good Omens - Neil Gaiman/BBC
I loved the book when it came out. I didn’t expect to love the mini-series. I especially didn’t expect to love the mini-series for the #IneffableHusbands.
I won’t belabor the point about why this is on my list. The #IneffableHusbands tag on my OOC blog is enough. :D
10. What We Do in the Shadows - Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi
Vampires who are as absurd, incapable and oblivious as me? Yes. All of my yes. 
Having played the old World of Darkness tabletop games for years--and absolutely fallen in love with them--I found this movie and was in absolute heaven. These are vampires I can actually imagine hanging out with. These are vampires (and werewolves) I can envision walking around a city.
Noble creatures of the night don’t seem real to me (aside from the obvious reasons.) The supernaturals in this movie? They felt like people I knew. Like people I could meet or characters I’d written myself. 
I like the fantastical being put into the mundane--which is why my genre is ‘urban fantasy’ although I have such an eye-twitch about it being all supernatural detectives chasing various pieces of ass now--and I especially love it when the fantastical doesn’t outweigh the mundane.
Imagining vampires vacuuming and riding the bus fits in nicely with my desperate belief (and hope) that the fantastical isn’t JUST imaginary but actually exists. 
{And there, I’m restricting this to 10 or we’ll be here all NIGHT.}
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babes-and-baddies · 5 years
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Certain Victory (shigadabi, LOV bonding)
or: the League plays Mario Kart and someone almost dies. (~2000 words)
this is fun and ooc please dont take this too seriously tg3hq54j3awsedrftg written as part of a gift exchange, sorry i posted a few days late <3
(AO3)(masterlist)(ko-fi)
It was all Spinner’s fault. They were all just chilling in the bar like normal, as content as one could possibly be while planning on how exactly to cause mayhem and disrespect the law, when he just had to ruin the peace.
“So…….. Shigaraki. You’re a guy of good taste right? Like, you like video games? Do you, y’know…. have Mario Kart?” The group fell completely silent (actually it was still quite noisy, but the rushing noise in Tomura’s ears made that hard to notice) and tension filled the room (although at this moment the only one truly tense was Shigaraki himself, not that he managed to notice). This wasn’t just an innocent question, no; it was a Challenge, a provocation, a declaration of war. A war Tomura intended to win.
“Do you really want me to answer that question?” Spinner nodded in response, an ignorant grin lighting up his face as he failed to notice the fire igniting behind Tomura’s eyes, “Alright then, it’s fucking on.”
Of course he had to ask that.
Way to fucking go, Spinner.
And so, The Tournament was created.
So much had been put into this night, and Tomura knew it was going to be perfect; after all his planning, it had to be. If this battle was to be done, it had to be done right. After all, what was the point to utterly eviscerating the competition if he hadn’t an audience?
And the day had finally arrived.
The stage was set, Tomura meticulous in work. He had a wide variety of gaming systems, but extra controllers were needed; quickly he went to enlist Kurogiri in stealing some, the prospect of team bonding enough to get the misty man onboard with his plans while he shed a tear of pride. Tomura even went and cleaned a room so that they would have the perfect gaming arena in which to declare victor. Stolen beanbag chairs gathered around a large screen, couches and a small table where snacks would go in the background for the spectators, a pile of cheetos and doritos with bottles green tea and mountain dew to wash them down.
Perfect.
The time to fight was nigh, and Tomura was confident he would prove himself superior. After all, was the realm of games not his main domain? Yes, today he would indisputably prove his worth, and no one would dare question his authority.
While the sky was overcome by purples and deep blues, the sun finally leaving them from the night, Tomura let himself focus on the screen before him. It was his moment to shine, now, and nothing would get in his way. Even as the rest of the league filtered into the room, making their usual annoying and useless comments, Tomura let his heart and soul bond with the controller within his hands. Even while his colleagues gathered around him, picking up their own controllers and buzzing with excitement, Tomura felt nothing but a rush of calm. This might just be the most important trial of his life, but he would surpass it. He would fight.
He would win.
And so all players had entered the arena, gathered together and prepared for what was to come. It was finally time to fight. It was his time to shine, his...
“Tooomura, Tomuraaaa, can I pick the track thingy? Please, pretty please?”
Himiko grinned, looking over at her boss while the character selection page flashed onscreen. Shrugging, Tomura let himself focus again on the tv in front of him, “As long as we end on Rainbow Road I don’t really care.” And that was the end of his short and useless discussion, one not enough to distract him, but still startling him out of his trance.
Once everyone was ready, and Toga had her fill of flipping through the tracks as quickly as possible during her very professional and thoughtful selection process, Tomura let himself finally ease into things. He was gonna kick their n00b asses.
3… 2… 1… GO
Yeah, someone was probably going to die by the end of the night.
Two rounds had gone by in the blink of an eye, and Tomura was more confident than ever. Two rounds, and Tomura easily won them both. Already it was more than clear who reigned superior, so now all Tomura had to do was show one final time just who was in control. It was time for his final victory.
Half of the league had given up at this point, content to watch and joke around at the expense of those still playing rather than be involved themselves; some time within the first two rounds, Kurogiri and Mr. Compress had left to get more snacks, Twice was making a gripping commentary of all of the competitors moves, and magne had switched to being Toga’s personal cheer squad as part of their LOV Lady Solidarity Group. And so four were left to play.
In a few minutes time, there would only be One victor. Tomura would make sure he was the only one left with any pride. He would prove himself.
Everyone watched with bated breath as rainbow road filled the screen, their characters lighting up the dim room as the intro sequence quickly passed them by.  And then it was starting. The moment of truth.
All four players gave into the moment, bringing their focus on the screen as their characters started to move onscreen.
Toga was a laughing, maniacal mess as she leaned forward, uncaring as Bowser kept falling into oblivion; last place gave her what she truly wanted: a chance to blow up everyone in front of her, willingly giving up her chance at victory as a sacrifice for joy and general mayhem.
Spinner was intensely emotive, glaring at the screen as Luigi kept around 2nd to 3rd place and yelling out every time he fell behind. He wasn’t winning yet but he still had time to turn things around, Shigaraki wouldn’t know what had come for him.
Dabi, as infuriatingly attractive as ever, was lazily sprawled across the beanbag chair, seemingly uncaring of what was happening to Toad onscreen as he reached into a bag of chips despite actively playing.
Tomura, though, was unlike the others. There was quiet intensity behind his eyes, a hypnotic presence surrounding him as he put his soul into every press of his fingers, eyes glued to the screen as he sat, unmoving. The very air around him started to still, caught in the moment as he sped past everyone friend and foe alike, ready to finally have his success confirmed. It was the final lap now and not even the cheering, laughter, and incitive comments from the audience was enough to distract him.
Allowing a smug grin to stretch across his face as the finish line came into the distance, he continued to speed forward. This was it. His moment.
In one glorious second the heavens parted, leaving Tomura to bask in the smug certainty of triumph; finally he could prove himself superior, reaffirming his role as leader and supreme, as the one truly worthy of power, as not only the best gamer but the best person, as-
FUCK. No, no, fuck, it couldn’t be, it wasn’t possible,
“WHO the FUCK….Did you just fucking,,,,,, did you BLUE SHELL me?!?”
A silence fell over the room as Shy Guy fell into the oblivion below, the corner of Tomura’s screen blinking from 1st to 2nd, from 2nd to 3rd, 3rd to 4th. The moment Toad crossed the finish line, declaring him the Winner, a scream could be heard throughout the building, past the street, infecting the world as Tomura exploded in rage. Far off in the distance, several young heroes lifted their heads in confusion as they felt a disturbance in the force. Something terrible had just happened...
And Dabi was so fucking dead.
Like the little bitch he was, Dabi simply laughed at Tomura’s rage, grinning lazily as he waved his controller in front of Tomura’s reddening face and taking delight in the way Tomura’s glare washed over him. “What, you not manage to predict this, creep? And here I thought video games were your ‘thing’.” Tomura took a deep breath, collecting the hatred washing through him.
“Fuck. I’ve tried to be a good leader, but this….. this I can’t forgive.”
That was the only warning before a blur of black and pale blue sped over to Dabi’s laughing form, knocking him against the ground in a rush of righteous rage. It was a mess, many innocent beanbags lives’ being lost in the carnage. But Tomura couldn’t worry about that, his pride was on the line here. That little shit Dabi just thought he could go and steal his victory, and not only that, but he was so fucking rude about it! Dabi wasn’t even trying to win, he spent the whole time making shitty comments and throwing doritos at people (although in retrospect, he always was getting 2nd place wasn’t he?), and yet here he was taking what should have been Tomura’s.
And this wasn’t even something new! Dabi was always there, being an ass and making Tomura get all flustered and uncertain. But this, this was the fucking limit. There was a point where Tomura could take no more, ignore no further transgressions. Dabi stole his moment. It was only fair that Tomura steal something of Dabi’s in return. Something of equal value…. something like Dabi’s life.
The two rolled across the floor as Tomura reached towards Dabi’s exposed skin, hoping to finally have a solid touch; everyone else had stopped to watch the spectacle, unsure whether to step in. “Stop fighting back you piece of shit, I’m only trying to kill you!” Tomura growled, reaching for Dabi’s throat before being flipped, breath fleeing his lungs as he was caged between a crispy asshole and the unforgiving ground.
Lurching forward Tomura moved to headbutt him, hoping to loosen his grip so he could kill the raisin-looking fucker already. But despite his clearly outstanding strategy skills and tactical prowess, Tomura made a small miscalculation. When their foreheads met Tomura himself fell back, Dabi falling atop him as he groaned in pain and released his wrists. But that wasn’t the problem.
Dabi was directly on top of him, pressed against every inch of him, and, shit, this couldn’t be happening, did he just-
Opening his eyes, Tomura looked into the glowing blue hovering above him. The heat from Dabi’s breath ghosted over Tomura’s lips, reminding him of how the roughness of Dabi’s own felt against his. Dabi slowly pushed himself away with a smirk, taking in how Tomura was blushing, frozen beneath him.
“Wow, creep, if you wanted to kiss me you shoulda just said something. Who knew you were so bold.” His voice was as deadpan as his usual disinterested gaze despite the faint blush spreading across his cheeks, but for a moment a touch of emotion leaked through. Probably just cruel amusement, trying to make fun of Tomura as usual. What else could it possibly be?
“You….. I didn’t… what,” Tomura blinked rapidly, trying to process the turn of events.
Giggling, Toga and Magne shared a grin. “Should we leave? They seem to be having a moment.” Glancing around, everyone seemed to understand eachother, a visceral need to escape rising in their hearts. The rest of the League quickly fled the room, but the two boys on the floor hardly noticed, too distracted by the sudden magnetism of the moment.
Dabi smirked from above, raising an eyebrow to distract from the blush spreading across his own cheeks and down his chest.
“So. You gonna keep staring, or are you gonna kiss me again?”
“Was that a challenge, you crispy shit?”
Glaring up at him with a sharp light in his eyes, Tomura yanked Dabi downwards, messily smashing the mouths together in a flurry of lips and teeth. After a few moments Dabi grinned against him, pulling away to teasingly leave fluttering kisses along his jaw before Tomura yanked his hair to bring their mouths together once more. It was nice, despite everything, and Tomura felt himself melt into Dabi’s touch. This was clearly just another challenge, a new level where he could show Dabi who was boss, but still...
Maybe Tomura did win something after all.
epilogue:
Spinner let a single tear slip down his face, staring forlornly at the abandoned gaming system. He didn’t even get to finish playing…
Letting his hand softly caress the screen, he walked away with neon light haloing his silhouette. Tomura’s tantrum may have ruined it this time, but there was still hope. He wouldn’t let this be the end.
“I’ll come back soon, Mario Kart… we’ll play again, I promise.”
The darkness of the room didn’t respond.
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andymull · 5 years
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WWE NXT Takeover New York - Preview & Predictions
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Johnny Gargano vs Adam Cole – NXT World Championship 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match
And so it comes to this, the long and winding road to this main event with sadness along the way but lets focus on NXT’s biggest match of the weekend. And there’s no better place to start than going and watching the hype video the company have put together for it as its awesome!! Anytime they mix the in-ring work with the hype packages showing the guys working out in preparation give it all such a solid and real feel.
Bringing Adam Cole into this was a great choice, instead of hoping for certain reactions from the crowd insert Adam Cole and you know exactly what you’ll get, a solid heel vs a solid face. I see the other members of Undisputed Era appearing during the first fall and probably get thrown out after interfering, maybe have a ton of other NXT face’s come out to level the score and get them backstage.
Gargano deserves the chance, the opportunity and the crowning, to the NXT audience its inevitable from suffering at the hands of Tommaso Ciampa to his redemption to this point but lets all just forget the mixed reactions he was receiving due to the crowd not really wanting to boo him, forget it.
Personally, I don’t think its as straight forward as most feel, Gargano should win and then extend his NXT stay instead of getting the full-time call-up to Raw or Smackdown as those plans have just fell flat sadly. But, Adam Cole reigning over NXT with his group looking to take charge and win the other titles makes perfect sense too and sets them up for months with different guys challenging them.
I see Hunter wanting to go with the most emotional outcome for the crowd and that Johnny taking the win and the championship – GARGANO
Io Shirai vs Shayna Baszler (c) vs Bianca Belair vs Kairi Sane – NXT Women’s Championship Fatal Four-Way Match
This should be fun, interesting build to the match with Shayna having beat 2 out of the 3 opponents but does that mean anything in a fatal four way? Io has been pushed as the main threat with her being the only one not defeated by Shayna.
I could see any of the girls being the victor in this bout, but then other factors come into it such as will any of them be called upto the main roster next week as Shayna has been rumoured? Will they decide to have the women’s tag champs come to NXT to feud with the Sky Pirates, in which case they may not decide to put the belt on either of them at the moment. But honestly, I love all involved so whatever happens im up for, ill go with Belair taking the win, sets up them having Kairi vs Io for the number one contendership which will be sweet. And also if Shayna doesn’t get called up she’s set up for another title shot as Bianca couldn’t beat her one on one so that bout will have some already existing heat to it too – BELAIR
Pete Dunne (c) vs WALTER – WWE United Kingdom Championship Match
Will Dunnes over 680 day title reign come to an end tonight?
I think it has to happen, its going to feel really weird seeing it happen but this is the time for it to occur. Walter is the new big driving force of the NXT UK brand and will build and build on the work that Dunne has put together for everyone involved on this brand.
This should be a tough tough brawl with the crowd mega behind both guys, but, this bout NEEDED to be held infront of the UK audience. It’s a big shot on them that the biggest bout in NXT UK won’t be held for them instead its for a crowd overseas, I see them probably getting a rematch between the two at some point but that doesn’t help them in not seeing the match first.
The title change will occur, Walter will receive a great reaction to his crowning, Pete will then get a heartfelt response from them as well. Dunne SHOULD then appear on Smackdown during the upcoming draft for his big opportunity to continue, that’s why I say a rematch may happen at some point and most likely in the next few weeks before the draft happens – WALTER
War Raiders (c) vs Aleister Black & Ricochet – NXT Tag Team Championship Match
Another fun match expected here, no surprise this is NXT, but this one will be a straightforward match outcome. Black and Ricochet have already made the jump to the main roster being given the big focus, and are just ready now to be split on either show to kick start their singles careers on Raw or Smackdown.
One poor thing I will say about the brand is that the tag champions haven’t been too much of a focus since winning the titles, some of that is down to the Dusty Classic occurring, but at the same time they could have had some competitive matches in the mean-time but oh well.
Ricochet will bump like mad for the tag champions and it will be glorious. But again after the match we will see some emotional scenes as I see Black and Ricochet getting the goodbye treatment from the fans for leaving NXT – WAR RAIDERS
Velveteen Dream (c) vs Matt Riddle – NXT North American Championship Match
A great opportunity for Matt Riddle to ‘experience’ the Takeover stage for the second time and really receive the opportunity to let go and show what he can do for 10 minutes, and at the same time it allows Dream to develop his-self on the big stage.
I will say im not too sure how well these two will combine together in-ring I hope its great but not too sure, Riddle will still power through to something great though no worries there. In terms of the winner I see it being Dream but that will mean Riddle has to be beat which im not keen on just yet, I don’t think it will end in cheap fashion, so I guess Dream goes over clean – DREAM
 This should be another A class card from NXT Takeover, no chance Wrestlemania even gets close to the quality this show will produce this weekend.
I hope everyone enjoys the show and any surprise that may occur, also try not to take in too much wrestling this weekend. Its easy to over do it with how much content is available from EVERY company these next few days, but just think about it, in terms of content there’s tons of greatness around. Don’t feel obliged to have to watch it all, especially matches that haven’t been built well or have great wrestlers in them, show companies that you have the final say but watching the best of whats produced then make companies work harder to get us to watch everything they put on…….oh well I can hope
Bye for now
Andy
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alaska-riversong · 6 years
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FanX with David Tennant
Last weekend I had the opportunity of a lifetime; a chance to meet my idol not once, not twice, but three times. I finally have the time and opportunity to sit down and write about my experience last weekend so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I’m sitting here looking at my pictures and yes, I am drinking my “David Tennant in my Dreams” tea from Adagio Teas. It’s my process, don’t judge me.
Anyone who knows me knows that I adore David Tennant. Many people have questioned my sanity as well as my life choices regarding this, but I do have my reasons. While David doesn’t have the body of Chris Hemsworth, the dreamy sky-blue eyes of Tom Hiddleston, he does have magically majestic hair, deep soulful golden-brown eyes, a smile that lights up the darkest corners of the universe, and a very talented left eyebrow. David is also a talented actor and has an enormous range where he can play comedy, drama, and anything in between with equal ease. He has played a bouncing puppy-like world-class lover in “Cassanova”, a grumpy disgruntled lethargic detective in “Broadchurch”, everyone’s favorite Doctor in “Doctor Who”, and a truly evil narcissistic villain with no moral compass in “Jessica Jones”. But the main reason I adore David Tennant is that even though he is a successful and brilliant actor, he is genuinely nice, and a very decent human being who treats his fans with respect and dignity and is truly a humble and gracious individual. If you have the opportunity to meet him, I highly suggest that you do. You will not regret it.
Believe it or not, I have tried to find anyone who has actually met or interacted with him, that either doesn’t like him or has something negative to say about him. So far, the only negative thing I’ve heard was from his co-star Freema Agyeman (Martha Jones) in Doctor Who that complained that David and John Barrowman had farting contests in the Tardis. In the grand scheme of things, while it’s a little gross and juvenile, I don’t find that to be overly bad. He is loved by all of his co-stars, his directors, and has been known to be a man with very little ego and very easy to work with.
It would take too much time for me to write down absolutely everything that happened at FanX (the official name of the Comic-Con I attended), especially if I went over every detail of each of the 3 times I met David, so instead, I will give you an overall experience of all encounters and highlights. I had a photo-op on Thursday, an autograph signing later that afternoon, another photo-op on Friday morning, and David’s panel later that afternoon.
One of the best things about a Con is finding other people who share your passions for a particular fandom franchise. I was able to geek out about Star Wars, Firefly, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and David Tennant (who has been in 3/5 of those fandoms). Most of Thursday was spent standing in line with other fans of David Tennant, and as much as I hate standing in line I really enjoyed talking to other people who loved him as much as I did. We swapped stories about how we discovered him, our favorite role he’s played, and whether we’ve met him before. We also swapped stories of our knowledge of him and his roles, what we adored about him, and what we were looking forward to when we met him. Half of the crowd dressed up in a variety of costumes from Doctor Who or other projects David has been in, and we acknowledged each other’s efforts and creativity. It was a glorious validation of adoration for a skinny Scottish bloke. David’s lines were the largest, most crowded, and most excited lines in the entire Con. There was also quite a bit of squealing (not from me) but from others.
If you’ve read my dissertation about my first meeting with David, you’ll remember me saying something about time being one of the most precious things an individual can share with you. I have met 4 celebrities in my life, 3 of them (David, Catherine Tate, and John Barrowman) were extremely rewarding and enjoyable because the celebrities actually focused time and energy (even though it was only for a few seconds) with me as an individual fan, the other celebrity just wasn’t into it. There is a scene in “Galaxy Quest” where the actors of the show are at a Comic-Con and most of them are not happy to be there, just signing things in an assembly line, and ignoring their fans. There are some celebrities that do this, but David is not one of them.
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One of my favorite things that happened while waiting in line was being able to observe David interacting with other fans to see how he treated others. How a person treats others, especially when they think no one is watching, is a great barometer for who a person truly is. Here is what I observed: David treated every fan with the same dignity, graciousness, energy, and humility. EVERY … SINGLE… ONE!!! He did not give his fans a half-hearted cookie-cutter greeting, he gave each fan (or group of fans) an excited high-pitched individualized greeting that let them know that he was just as excited to meet them as we were to meet him. He looked everyone in the eye or at least tried to as some were reduced to hysterical giggling and couldn’t bear to return his intense gaze. When it was your turn to be in his presence he was completely focused on you, even for the brief amount of time you had with him. If you made the attempt to interact with him, he made the effort to interact with you and did not let the handlers (employees at the Con whose job it is to move the crowd along) bully him or you. Every fan got their moment with David. He did not avoid contact with his fans especially in the photo booth; he shook hands, he put his arms around them, he held hands, he made funny faces and goofy poses, and genuinely looked like he was having a good time. He was game to do any crazy pose or situation as long as you requested it and it wasn’t overly inappropriate. There were only two instances when I saw his countenance fall from his jovial demeanor; both times happened when he was not interacting with anyone directly and when he thought no one was looking. The fall in countenance was not necessarily a change in mood or demeanor but rather a relaxation or break in activity. He did not seem tired, angry, or upset it was simply a pause so he could take a deep breath and continue the energy. As an actor, he is trained to react, and nobody has better facial reactions than David Tennant. He rarely has a stoic expression (unless he’s playing Detective Alec Hardy in Broadchurch), and the myriad of natural facial expressions that came across his face while dealing with several uncooperative pens was extremely entertaining. I wish I could have taken a video of it.
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The Con was set up so that the celebrity guests could travel between the photo ops and autograph areas behind secured walls without having to interact or be seen by their adoring fans. David, however, chose to be seen and traveled between events amongst the unwashed masses. Other celebrities would come out behind the magic curtains and wave at their fans, but I don’t remember seeing anyone traveling in the common area between events. If you’ve ever watched him in Doctor Who or seen David move you know he tends to run and is very fast. I honestly believe David doesn’t have a slow speed. The man is 6’1 with a 7ft stride and can cover great distances quickly, he is very fast. There is always a security detail around David because of his popularity, this detail is usually made up of handlers who may or may not know much about him and aren’t exactly trained in security, they are simply human barriers to keep the fans from tackling David. I saw David, surrounded by about 6 individuals in FanX Security t-shirts traveling between venues and it was quite comical. The first time he was doing a slight jog, but moving briskly while the handlers were running to keep up with him. The second time he started off in a brisk walk that swiftly turned into a jog, that basically left the handlers scrambling behind him as they realized their charge had outrun them and he was left unprotected. As the crowd cheered, David smiled and waved acknowledging their adoration when he passed by.
My first interaction was a photo op. All I wanted in this photo was an opportunity to the nearest equivalent to a hug I could get. I wasn’t nervous, but I was excited. When it was my turn, he looked me in the eye, smiled that glorious smile and gave me a very high pitched and excited “Hiiiiiiii, how are you?” I honestly can’t remember what I said or even if I responded coherently. He held his right arm out welcoming me to stand beside him and like a moth to a flame I snuggled up to his side. David takes thousands of pictures with his fans, smiling for most of them, and he has a fake smile that he uses to save his face from going into permanent paralysis and a genuine smile. Knowing this, I wanted to say something to him that would entice him to give me a real smile. I wrapped my arm around his tiny waist (to put things into perspective I have an 18-inch reach and my arm was slack with my hand on his waist), and he put his hand on my back. I squeezed just a little to see how huggable he was and I was not disappointed. For a skinny guy he is extremely huggable and cuddly and if you take a good look at both photos, he is leaning into me. Before the picture was snapped I said something to the effect of, “I flew all the way from Alaska to see you on stage in London as Don Juan,” or at least that is what I intended to say. I honestly believe he gave me a genuine smile because of it. After the camera flashed David turned to look down at me, I also think he even squatted a little to be more on my level, touched my right forearm as he very deftly moved me in front of him to escort me out of the booth and said, “Oh wow, thank you for coming so far, I really appreciate it.” He was still looking me in the eye as I was excited and babbling something about it being the best experience and best performance I’d ever seen. All of the above was only in the first encounter. The encounter lasted maybe 10 seconds but it’s something I will never forget because he was kind, he was gracious, he was humble, and was genuine.
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My second interaction was an autograph later that same day as the photo. I got in line an hour early for the very first autograph session at 4:30 but didn’t get up to the front of the line until the 7:30 session. You could purchase a $100 autograph or you could purchase a customized autograph for $130 where he would personalize an autograph on something you brought, or on one of the stock photos available on the table. I brought one of my tickets from Don Juan for him to sign. For those who don’t know how this works, when you buy your ticket for a personalized autograph you tell the person you buy your ticket from exactly what you want him to write on the item he is signing and they put it on a sticky so he can have the proper spelling and make the line go faster. I simply wanted him to dedicate it to me and sign his name. After the fact, I realized I could have had him write sooooo much more… maybe next time. My sticky note just said, “To Cindy”. When it was my turn, he looked at the sticky note and very excitedly (and again high-pitched) said, “Cindy, Hi there.” Hearing him say my name in his Scottish brogue and then look me in the eye was just unreal. I beamed like an idiot and reminded him again that I came from Alaska to see him on stage. While looking me in the eye he replied, “Oh, well thank you, I’m so glad you came…” he looked at the tickets and continued, “Great seats too. Thank you for coming Cindy.” I’m sure I babbled something about how much I enjoyed it but I was only focused on what he was saying.
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I was a little disappointed in myself for not saying what I truly wanted to say to him but I knew my time was limited and I knew I wanted this experience to be positive for both of us, so I strictly kept to the topic of his stage appearance of Don Juan. What I wanted to tell him was that seeing him on stage in Don Juan in 2017 was the first time I had felt true joy since my mother and sister died in 2016. I wanted to thank him for giving me an opportunity to see him on stage and finally allowing myself to feel something other than despair. I also wanted to tell him how happy it would have made my mom to know that I got to meet him and to find out that he drinks Diet Dr. Pepper (which he happened to be drinking while signing autographs). I knew that if I even attempted to say anything like this I may not be able to hold my composure in his presence and I didn’t want to be that fan that cried. I also knew it would dampen the jovial atmosphere that David tends to generate. Maybe someday when I have more confidence or time I will tell him. But for now, I was happy for what little interaction I had. He said my name twice, he looked me in the eye, he interacted with me as an individual and gave me a gorgeous smile. All in all, it was a great experience.
Thursday was really exhausting, and it was very hot at the Con. I had brought 2 Donna Noble related outfits to wear and had worn the first one on Thursday. The second one was the long gray dress-length shirt and purple cardigan with jeans from “Silence in the Library”. Because it was so hot and because my gray dress-length shirt was long enough, I decided to go as pants-less Donna (no mas pantalones). I wore a sign on my back that read “Donna Temple Noble, Best Temp in Chiswick, Sometimes she forgets…, If found, please return to: Wilfred Mott, Sylvia, The Doctor.” I don’t think David saw it but a few other people did and even recognized my costume. I even had one brave teenaged girl tap me on the shoulder and said, “I don’t know if you know this… but there’s something on your back” (this is a reference to a Doctor Who episode “Turn Left” not the sign on my back). It totally made my day and justified my costume choice. I also added an Alaskan element of a scarf of forget-me-nots, Alaska’s state flower and something that is very integral to the storyline of Donna.
My third and final interaction with David was a photo op first thing Friday around noon. I knew I wanted a pose with my sonic screwdriver and this time I remembered to bring it in with me to the photo booth. When David saw me, he said “Hiiiiii” again in a high pitched excited voice but this time it was slightly different. The way it was pitched indicated to me that he either recognized me from yesterday or recognized that I was attempting to dress as Donna Noble. I’d like to think he recognized me from yesterday, so that is what I’m going to assume. Again, he held out his arm to welcome me to stand beside him. I held out my extended sonic screwdriver to him and he took it looking me in the eye asking, “Oh, do you want me to hold it?” I somehow blurted out the concept that I wanted us to hold it together, to which he very happily complied. He placed it in my hand and then wrapped his hand around mine, he then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him. He was sooooooo close to me I could feel his body heat and when I realized I was close enough to kiss his neck I internally whimpered (at least I hope it was internal) and fought the urge to just nestle into the crook of his neck. You’d think that a man that tall and skinny would be hard, stiff and immovable as a tree, but you’d be wrong. He was soft, squeezable, and for the record, he snuggled into me, not that I was complaining by any means. My suspicions of him being a cuddler and a really good hugger are somewhat confirmed but I believe more research may be in order… for science. I don’t remember if I said anything after the photo but I do remember him handing back my sonic screwdriver, looking me in the eye, smiling, and thanking me for coming.
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Seriously, how can anyone not love this man after an interaction like that???? Remember, he interacted with everyone he came into contact with, with the same enthusiasm, energy, humility, graciousness, and kindness. He is a human being worthy of the adoration and passion his fans give him. You cannot say that about all celebrities, but David is worthy of the time, effort, and money that so many people eagerly spend on him.
No, I did not have the forethought to smell him. I was too busy trying to remember to hold my stomach in, look him in the eye, breathe, and try not to say something stupid to remember to inhale his presence. After the pictures were taken I do remember feeling the sense that he probably smells of sunshine, joy, and the wishes made upon shooting stars. Sorry, I really wished I had taken a big whiff of his essence, but I do know he was very pleasant to be around. Maybe next time I will get to sniff him. Rest assured, there will be a next time.
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a-tired-bass · 5 years
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Ares, Dionysus, Hera, Hypnos, Kronos, Nyx, Selene and Zeus!
I had like. A paragraph written for each of these questions. And then tumblr glitched and just erased. All of them. I am LIVID. I will try my best to recreate what I had written, or really just write the stuff anew.
Ares: What small thing makes you angry?
Incompetencies, especially of those who claim they’re experts or professionals on a subject. Or people who do things in an objectively wrong fashion. Those are particular pet peeves of mine. But when it comes to something small, it has to be the inability of people to sense the world around them. I’m talking particularly of the kind of people who amble on a sidewalk, walking side to side at random, and taking up the entire sidewalk when I am right behind them walking at a now much-restricted pace and trying to get past. Pay some attention to your surroundings people!
Dionysus: Do you drink alcohol? If so, what’s your beverage of choice?
I’m mostly a social drinker and rarely buy alcohol for myself when I’m alone. On the rare occasion that I do, I generally drink enough to get tipsy for 1 or 2 nights and then have a now half-empty bottle of said alcohol sitting on my desk for however long it takes for me to decide I want to drink them again (I have a bottle of vodka on my desk right now that I got a very long time ago, half emptied it in a week, and have had 1 or 2 shots worth since then - which was maybe a year ago). The one exception to that was when I bought a bottle of arak and was drunk for an entire week because all I did was sit at home, playing video games and constantly sipping at it as though it were water (1. I did drink water during that week, otherwise, I’d be dead, 2. That was actually a very social week for me because all of my mates were on holidays so I spent almost every hour of my awake time chatting with them online, 3. I’m so glad arak is not cheap or easily available here in any way cause oh boy that would be bad for me). But, to actually answer the question! My drink of choice is usually an apple cider (hot tip, put a shot of spiced whisky in your cider), or occasionally, a vodka concoction of some kind (usually vodka lemonade or something simple - cocktails are prohibitively expensive).
Hera: Are you the jealous type?
Oh yes, absolutely. I’m not an envious person, I don’t want what other people have (except a healthier and more stable mind/body, but that’s a different matter). But I am very, very much a jealous person. When I have something, or someone close to me, I don’t want to let that go, and in particular, I don’t want someone else taking it from me. This applies to both relationships and friends. I tend to feel awful when something changes with my relationship with mates or our plans because of someone else. But oh boy, let me tell you, my head was REAL screwy working out that I am very jealous person in my last relationship (not that it wasn’t screwy after working out that I was jealous, just that once I understood my emotions I could come more to terms with them and behave more appropriately). Ultimately, it played a big part in the termination of my relationship of course, but that’s another story.
Hypnos: What was your most recent dream about?
Unfortunately, I don’t really remember. My memories of dreams fade very rapidly, and unless they’re particularly fresh, vivid, memorable, recurring (regular dream, or alas, nightmare), I can generally only give the gist of what it was about. For example, all I can tell you about the final dream I had last night was that it was sexually inclinated, which is honestly pretty uncommon for me.
Kronos: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Don’t know really. I was never the kind of kid who ate strange things, and I don’t think that regional foods like haggis, pâté, or blood sausage count, though I’ve eaten and disliked them. However, I can unequivocally say the stupidest thing I’ve licked is a light bulb. Have no clue why I did that. Or why I did it a second time. I recall it tasted salty.
Nyx: What’s your favorite nighttime activity?
To answer boringly, sleep. To answer less boringly, it’s play games with friends - 2 nights a week, I meet up with mates to play role-playing games (currently, ‘Call of Cthulu’ and ‘Star Wars’). Other nights, if people aren’t busy, we will occasionally just hop on voice chat in discord and play games on our computers, whether together or just on our own, but with the pleasure of each other’s virtual company. I’m not a clubbing kind of person - I don’t like loud, unregulated spaces, so clubs, or even loud bars, generally make me very uncomfortable. I am a very digital person, so virtual company to me is very much valued by me - sure, it’s not quite physical company, but it has its own merits. Given that I am a very digitally inclined person, and that I am somewhat of a night owl, my 'nighttime’ is merely just shifted around the clock a couple of hours, as really the only difference is that I have some house lights on. Time is an abstract concept that doesn’t truly exist, it is merely a system of measurement that we use to organise ourselves. For me, time is often generally only relevant to what my body is demanding (breakfast has been at midday for me for the past several weeks for example), and my commitments to others.
Selene: What’s your favorite phase of the moon?
Full moon, without a doubt. Gibbous moons (waxing or waning) came close, and I’ll always have a place in my heart for a good old Cheshire Cat Crescent moon, but full moon definitely wins. I have very good eyesight, and the illumination of a full moon generally allows me to walk around in the dead of night with no other forms of light barring the stars. Something about being able to see clearly when there should be naught but black outside strikes a whimsical and magical chord in my heart.
Zeus: What do you think about thunderstorms?
I adore thunderstorms. Of all meteorological events that I have experienced, thunderstorms unequivocally have the highest place in my heart. I wouldn’t be particularly thrilled to be caught in one, but to listen to one as I’m falling asleep is one of the most calming things I have ever experienced. To sit and watch one on a balcony fills me with such awe that I can’t help but be amazed and rejoiced by their presence. To wrap myself up in something warm and cozy and curl into a chair to watch the rainfall and lightning strike is always a wonderful time to me, and one of my favourite ways to spend hours. I love the sound of thunder, the deep rumble of a distant strike echoing through the sky, its very depths creating a vibration I can feel in my bones. The sharp crack of a nearby strike, a tremendous sound which pierces the heavens and for a moment you hear nothing else. I love seeing lightning strike out in the distance, counting the seconds from when I see it flare brilliantly into existence and disappear in moments, and marvel at the speed in which this sound of glorious magnitude has travelled kilometres to reach me. I love watching as they flare behind and inside the cloudbanks, illuminating them in brilliantly clear silhouettes for a few seconds. I love to watch as the lightning forks down to the ground, each individual stream of tremendous energy roaring it’s way through a resistant sky (seriously watch this in slow-motion, it’s beautiful). I love the smell of the world, the petrichor of the earth, wet by the rain, or the sharp, bitter smell of ozone. I love the aftermath of a storm, the wet dewdrops on leaves, puddles reflecting a newly blue sky or clear mirror of the stars, the scorch marks or beautiful patterns of ground or trees struck by lightning, the pillars of glass bursting into the sky from sand. I love how this amazing and awesome power just exists, completely oblivious and unadulterated by us, existing before, after, and regardless of us.
I am infinitesimally small when it comes to the majesty of lightning, and thunderstorms have left me in tears of wonderment.
On the other hand, getting caught in a thunderstorm in an open field is a different and entirely terrifying concept.
Have another completely new set of answers. Apparently, I was in a very wordy mood tonight. Thank you so much for the questions though @greyjioys !!! It’s always fun, and for some reason, these in particular were quite thought inspiring.
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Press/Video/Photos: Interview - Game of Thrones star Gwendoline Christie
From Star Wars to the new Top of the Lake, Gwendoline Christie has become a screen heroine for our times. Lorraine Candy meets the unconventional actress who embraces the joy of being an outsider
    SUNDAY TIMES STYLE – Let’s get the tall bit out of the way first, shall we? Gwendoline Christie is a delicate 6ft 3in tall. I say delicate because, personally, I’m always struck by how dainty the Game of Thrones superhero is. She is all fine blonde curls and flawless porcelain skin. Feminine, girly, graceful are the words that come to mind when I think of the Gwendoline I have known for several years. Gosh, we have had some fun together, this elegant outsider and me. “The world is absurd, Lorraine,” she will often observe with characteristic wry humour, “and if you can’t find it absurd, then I don’t know how you’d get through.” Indeed it is — especially when you look at it from Gwendoline Christie’s perspective.
  The 38-year-old actress is a composite of opposites, if such a thing exists: an introverted extrovert, a soft strength, the most conventional unconventional person I know. She’s both intellectually intense and wonderfully silly. Time spent with the ever-so-polite and well-brought-up Gwendoline is like going to a spa for your mind: it’s never ordinary, even if it is just having a cup of peppermint tea, as we are for this interview.
  For most of her life, mostly because of her height, Gwendoline has been on the margins of what is considered normal. From being bullied at her local village school, to the relentless fruitless auditions she didn’t ever get through, she was continually told, as she puts it, “that your outside can’t come on the inside”. How demoralising, but also, perhaps, how wonderful, because if you can overcome those cruel obstacles, you develop a rare confidence that is unbreakable. Then, one day, you wake up and deliver to the universe the gift that is Brienne of Tarth, the one woman who is everything all women want to be.
I don’t need to tell you how fantastic Brienne is — the defiant medieval knight, protector of kings and queens, slayer of evil men. One scene, her infamous fight with the Hound, took two months of intense stunt training (she is still seeing a physiotherapist twice a week). It is epic, no other word for it, and even if you are not a Throner, you cannot be anything but grateful that a character like Brienne has been imagined, written and brought to life so spectacularly well. She is, to borrow a phrase, a giant step forward for womankind.
  “I have loved doing Game of Thrones,” Gwendoline says. Season 7, the penultimate series, has just started on Sky Atlantic. “I’ll be devastated when it finishes. I’m so proud of that part and the way the audience created a connection with the character. Brienne is a different version of what we normally see. She is not just conventionally unattractive, she is unconventionally unattractive. This part was the reason for all my acting training. In a world where we have so much access to these sexy ideals all the time, this was such a subversive role.”
  Amen to that. But how do you follow Brienne? Captain Phasma in Star Wars was superb, if predictable, casting, but it is the junior detective, Miranda, in Top of the Lake: China Girl, a woman who is the polar opposite of the one Gwendoline has been playing for six years, that I feel will redefine her.
  Ever conscious of the need to test herself as an actress (she is rigorous in her devotion to the craft and has an accomplished theatre career), Gwendoline has created a new character who is physically and mentally fragile.
  She has done it with the acclaimed writer and director Jane Campion, with whom she has wanted to work since she was very young. “I asked the universe then — no, I told the universe nicely — to make it come true,” she recalls, after explaining how many buses she had to take across the Sussex countryside after lying to her parents about her whereabouts and sneaking into the cinema to watch Campion’s groundbreaking 1993 film, The Piano.
  Miranda is a broken, vulnerable, lonely and actually comic police officer who appears in the second series of Campion’s award-winning BBC2 drama Top of the Lake, on screens now. The role was written specially for Gwendoline, and she lived in Sydney for five months while filming it. I have seen the first two gripping episodes, and you are in for a treat — it’s addictive cinematic TV at its best. Elisabeth Moss reprises her role as the steely Detective Robin Griffin to investigate the death of an Asian girl washed up in a suitcase on Bondi Beach. The Oscar winner Nicole Kidman rounds out the cast.
  “It feels like Jane is always subverting form,” Gwendoline says, “and that’s exciting to me. In 2008, a friend of mine offered to introduce me to her because she felt we would get on so well, but even then I couldn’t do it. When I saw she was doing Top of the Lake, I wrote her a letter — I knew I had to be in it. I can’t tell you what I said, but I kept it for 18 months before posting it. I tried to keep it short, didn’t want her to die of boredom reading it, then she emailed me back about four months after I sent it. We spoke on the phone for hours and she told me she would create a lead part for me. I asked for a challenge and Miranda is a challenge. She is constantly destabilised, she fails at everything, she is on the outside and still continues to be on the outside. This is a new story for me to tell.
  “It’s great to be a hero, but the reality for many of us is that we feel like we are failing all the time. We’re all trying to find ways to deal with that.”
  If you watch one box set this summer, watch Top of The Lake — it will give you goose bumps. Everyone is playing the opposite of the characters you expect them to be, so it’s constantly surprising — just like Gwendoline herself.
  I was editing Elle when we first met on the fashion front row. We got on like a house on fire: she is more than a foot taller than me, though we have the same size feet; the physical comedy of us never fails to delight. Her partner is my friend the fashion designer Giles Deacon, and Gwendoline takes getting dressed as seriously as I do. “I have always been fascinated by clothes and their transformative powers,” she says. “I was about 6ft at the age of 14 — I was enjoying the process of youth, wondering what kind of human being I would grow into, what kind of size I would be, what the dimensions would be as I grew more.
  “A doctor had told me I would be lucky if I stopped growing at 5ft 11in, but I thought, why stop there? I thought it was brilliant being so tall, and they were quite shocked by that response. I didn’t see what was interesting about conforming to the rule when the rule seemed nonsensical.
  “I read a lot of fashion magazines as a child. I was fascinated by who the stylists and photographers were. The images were captivating for me. I used to scour second-hand shops for vintage clothes, and I delighted in the different proportions of my size. It doesn’t make sense to me not to embrace being outside the norm. I don’t want to feel inhibited by anything.
  “I like to experiment with scale. I used to dress up a lot. My male friends would wear women’s jackets, and I would wear massively oversized things I’d found in vintage places. I really enjoy wearing men’s clothes, and often still do. I also liked the way Courtney Love dressed at the time, all those 1990s dresses, but worn with a femininity that had a violence to it. It seemed inappropriate at my height to wear such floaty dresses, so I enjoyed wearing them. I am all for drawing attention to the differences between us and not hiding from them — it is good to be spectacularly different.”
  When we meet, she is wearing a black Chloé dress, carrying a brown Margiela handbag. She buys mostly designer: Giles, Henry Holland, Roksanda, bits of Marc Jacobs, Miu Miu and more recently Isa Arfen.
  Gwendoline is a very private person, and I can see interviews are a form of torture for her. She wants to be known for her work and questions about her home life are playfully batted away with humour. It’s understandable given the level of fandom surrounding her, thanks to Game of Thrones and, of course, Star Wars. Plus, she can never hide, never be anonymous in the street; she is someone you stare at, famous or not.
  Last year when I interviewed Giles for a book about London designers, I asked him what kind of women he designed clothes for. Someone smart, confident in who she is, different from everyone else and happy with that, spirited, unpredictable, a woman who is fun “and looks like she would be a bit of trouble on a night out”, he told me. I think he has described Gwendoline perfectly. And, if I had my way, she wouldn’t be the outsider — we all would.
  Top of the Lake: China Girl, Thursdays at 9pm on BBC2
  Styling: Katie Felstead. Hair: John D at Forward Artists for Tresemmé. Make-up: Stoj at Streeters using Charlotte Tilbury. Nails: Marisa Carmichael
    I’ve loaded the beautiful photo shoot in the gallery. Check it out! I should be adding the scans to the gallery later today.
    Gallery Link:
Photoshoots > Photoshoots in 2017 > Photoshoot 011
  Press/Video/Photos: Interview – Game of Thrones star Gwendoline Christie was originally published on Glorious Gwendoline
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"I'm going to die either way. Hurry and leave!" (After that last glorious blurb you wrote ... how could I not follow up with another?)
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[Mood!... also in the actual video!]
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The air was thick, heavy with the weight of the world upon everyone’s shoulders.. it smelled tainted. The wind blew into the day’s clouded sky, as if trying to usher away the plumes of blackened smoke that billowed into the ways above.. but alas, nothing would change today.
Around the highlander and the miqo’te, the world was quiet, the world seemed to go cold, yet remain warm, the air did not blow, the sounds from the thunderous raptures of fire spells and explosives did not reach them.. No the world was... still.
For hours upon hours did they advance upon the creatures they dreaded, emerging from the woods along with every force of man they could muster, the last good night still fresh in their minds. It was almost a second autumn war, but no nation stood against each other this day. It was a unified banner of every nation, from every corner of the three great continents together as they pressed into unholy territory. 
Every soul wielding a weapon, any kind, be it a sword or a pitchfork had a reason to be here on the darkest of days leading on to those waiting ahead. The two souls entwined by calloused fate knew this would be the last day for many... and possibly for themselves, but their reasons were just, they accepted the risk to see their loved ones that were taken away from them once more.
The battle waged for what seemed like a grid-lock of eternity, the prisoners of monsters remained in sight, it was so close.. the cry of abominations ahead almost drowned out the thooms of bombardment from the allies’ cannons.  
Yet as the fight went on.. it seemed to remain still. The world was a beautiful kind of chaos.
Belladonna looked to E’khei with a lost expression on her face, so many things raced around them yet there was nothing that they could keep track of. In her mind, she was coming to terms with the end of her days, all the while her friend lead her forward to their destination. Fear and acceptance lingered in her eyes as the din of a war raged around them.. 
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With a thunderous rampage, the world shook and the miqo’te’s concentration turned to black within the quickest of seconds...
The heat of fire and the cold sting of the bitter air greeted his skin... 
The passage of time became irrelevant to him as he tore his gaze from the fiery earth to the shrouded sky. There was the constant ringing in his ears that lingered for what could have been... and what truly was hours passing.
He lay there as shadows above him moved, his mind a daze there was nothing else he could do. The world around him he could see move on, the battle progressing yet he had not the strength to raise a hand, to raise his voice...
It seemed like he’d remain this way forever... But as quick as his fall from concentration, there was another force, heaving the man up onto one of his legs, a straining voice.. Female.. The dazed man looked over, his senses rushing to him all at once as his battle-sister came into his mind once more. 
"B... Belladonna..”
The highlander looked over, her face showed signs of struggle, her entire being was wounded... Yet that wasn’t the only thing that changed. Sometime within the hours that passed in his daze.. she had changed... no longer was she the lost soul in the battlefield, she had came to terms with the reality.. and lead on.. an explosion had left them separated and he without a way to recover..
“B.. Bell!” He called out, his voice hoarse, blood forcing its way through his teeth. 
As he called to her, she yelled back. Her words made no noise yet the world around him responded. The allies they made began to retreat, to cover an escape back into the woods. With hazy sight, Balduin glanced to the battlefield... They had cleared the cages.. they had cleared the prisoners.. those they fought to see another day.. And now they were retreating.. The monsters furious and in close pursuit of them. 
“Bell.. Belladonna, I'm going to die either way. Hurry and leave!"
“Leave without me! I’ll only slow you down dammit!”
Yet the highlander used every bit of her strength to drag her companion through the forest.. the beasts dropping one by one behind them as the other soldiers did what they could to cover the retreat.
“You’re... you’re a fool to think I’d leave you behind.” Bell’s voice finally reached him, weakly laughing as she groaned, bleeding out through several upon several wounds... His hearing was poor but he could hear his friend... 
“We made that promise.. remember..?” There was a somber tone to her... she was crying, doing her best to not look at him as she dragged them on.
From behind the lumbering of bloody abominations was closing in.. their thumps on the ground as they approached could be heard, their cries for an insatiable blood-lust could be easily head.. They were close to the exclusion zone.. but not close enough...
“We made a promise.. E’khei.. you and I.. That we’d see our loved ones today.. a-and the days after...” Her movements slowed as the exhaustion began to over take her... bit by dying bit. 
“Well.. I saw mine...”
“I saw her die in my arms...”
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“You.. you on the other hand.. your love’s still here.. beyond the forest.. I made sure of that.. They’re alright.” Her voice was growing weaker and weaker.. Ahead of them, the humming of airships and the static of lightning cannons charging could be heard.. The exclusion zone..
The tear of cannons ripped through the forest around them as their levin purple bolts fired into the hordes of abominations behind the two.. One step closer.. one after the other, Belladonna dragged her friend through the fringes of the forest. 
“Bell.. Belladonna please.. leave me.” The man’s voice cried out.. yet to no avail. Bell shook her head, weakly laughing.
“I.. made that promise to you.. I.. I intend to keep it..”
“But.. I need you to promise me one more thing, E’khei..”
“Promise me you’ll live... that you’ll live a good long life..” Her voice began to fade..
Weak step after weaker step she’d drag him across the line.. It was here where her body began to fail. The highlander slumped to the ground with a sickening thud as troops stationed by the cannons and airships called out for medical officers.
Balduin grew hysterical as he watched his guiding light crumble to the floor. The soldiers of white and red crosses rushed forward, taking the miqo’te first, despite his protests, calling out to his friend.. Belladonna lay on the cold grass.. the other medical staff around her.. There was a cry from him as he watched their heads shake.. a frown on their faces... He’d thrash and cry out to her.. to them to take her.. to trade their places..
The humming of the airshp engines took to the air, overtaking all as there was a lurch in the gravity, the vessel taking off to leave the earth.. bound for sunnier skies and shimmering shores.
The pain that ate away at him began to fade... his consciousness drifted from the fear.. the hysteria.. the pain.. A brilliant white light began to take his vision as the face of his love came into a hazy view only slow seconds before.
With them.. a promise would be long held and soon fulfilled.
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((so. SO SORRY THAT TOOK A LONG WHILE. I A LOT OF MY PLATE. @chocoboinspectorbalduin I HAD TO STEP IT UP, HOPE YOU ENJOY! ))
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roadswim-collective · 7 years
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THE MANY WORLDS OF JOANNA MILKWEED- FOREWORD
by Daniel Brogan
Joanna Milkweed, sculptor, producer, co-creator of Dan the Can Man, died last year at the age of 104 at her home near Wenvoe, surrounded to the end by a faint air of mystery.
A photograph from her last public appearance, at the BAFTA children’s awards ceremony, in London, in the year 1998, shows Joanna sitting at an angle to her colleagues.
At the Grosvenor, over a landscape of napkins and wine bottles in silhouette, Milkweed’s husband, the producer Bill Kenzie, along with animator Clayton Morgan, looks toward the lit stage. Around the shadowy table, lesser colleagues incline the same way. Their smiles are fixed, they look anxious, expectant.
Joanna is looking elsewhere. Her chair is turned so that she is at a right angle to the stage, to the spotlight, to the hallowed space where the announcements and the speeches are made. One hand hangs limp between her knees, the other holds a champagne flute. Her gaze is unreadable. There is a darkness either in or around her eyes that reminds one of cigarette burns.
Born in the Rhondda Valley in 1961 and educated at Saint Martins College, Joanna Milkweed was always looking elsewhere. In all but the most posed of shots, her eyes consistently fail to meet the camera. In this picture, taken in August 1998, the tendency reaches its geometrical conclusion. She is at 90 degrees to the ceremony.
Minutes after the shot was snapped Joanna and her colleagues won their second award of the night. Dan the Can Manhad already won best animation, Bill accepting the trophy from the writer Michael Rosen, and now Zum4 Entertainment – formed by Joanna, Bill, and Clayton – was about to be named Best New Independent Production Company.
Less than a year later Milkweed divorced Kenzie and went on to sell him all the rights to their creation, the perennially popular delivery man Dan, his yellow truck, and his whole motorway corridor world.
Milkweed never made another programme. Her withdrawal from public life was abrupt and total. She went away and never came back.
Joanna had been active in film and television design for 20 years at this point. From the start, she was determined to work in animation and soon made her name. Her gift as an artist appeared to combine two different elements, the intricacy and detailed beauty of her model work on the one hand, on the other a certain looseness or wildness of the imagination. Milkweed’s best work contained equal parts of each tendency, working together, eccentric visions sculpted into perfect scale models.
Joanna Milkweed designed and built a glorious variety of miniature worlds for dozens of different projects through the 80s and into the 90s. A lot of her work was done in fantasy and sci fi settings – a library in a university on an icy moon of Saturn, the interior of a smashed up block of flats in a post-apocalyptic city, a war torn village in the Dark Ages. Her eye for detail brought all these strange scenes and more to vivid life.
Milkweed also worked in children’s television, creating memorable sets for popular series like Mr Tweedyman,Samson and Gwynn, and The Shimmers.
“Joanna always brought something extra,” recalls Miles Brierley, who hired Milkweed to work on his long-runningAquarius 3000 series (1986 – 1993) and again on the one-off special Tarvin’s Future (1994).
“No matter what the project was, you knew that if you got Joanna Milkweed in you were going to get something really very special.
“Joanna’s stuff was just so imaginative, and so beautiful, she actually took what we were doing to another level. Certainly in the early days of Aquarius, before we’d found our voice, Joanna’s models were the best reason to watch the damn show!”
In 1995, while pregnant with her first child, Joanna conceived the initial spark that led to the creation of Dan, the vending machine resupply driver whose adventures still entertain children to this day.
Ex-husband Bill Kenzie, though often derided, has written movingly about this moment in his posthumously published memoir Just the Delivery Man:
“Joanna was suddenly hungry, after feeling sick all day, so now I tried to tempt her with different food possibilities. It’s quite difficult to predict what will tempt the appetite of a pregnant woman. I offered soups and salads, biscuits and chocolate, various sundries from the back of the cupboard. All in vain.
“Finally, in desperation rather than in hope, I blurted the word: McDonald’s? And Joanna rewarded me with an ironic grin, as was her way. I went to hunt for the car keys.
“We were still living in Newport at this point, much to our distress. The new house in Roath was ready for us to move into, had been since May. We’d hoped to be in and settled well before now, with Joanna’s bump so big and round. Moving house is stressful, as is having a baby. Trying to do the two at the same time though? An absolute hellscape. Which may seem an overstatement but to those who have never had to try it, I’d simply say – try it!
“Being pregnant brought out the anxious, worrying side of Joanna. It didn’t help that it was such a difficult pregnancy. I remember thinking, well, thanks a lot Mother Nature. Thanks for making this a lot more difficult than it strictly had to be. And of course it was Joanna who bore the brunt. I felt so sorry for her, we had so many ups and downs. My own temperament is much calmer, more simply optimistic.
“If you ask most of my friends and colleagues to describe me in a few brief words, you’d probably find a lot of variations on Laid back, including So laid back it’s a wonder he doesn’t fall flat on his back. It’s true, I’m naturally relaxed almost to a fault. People start to find it annoying, my lack of urgency. I know Joanna found it annoying. I guess we were at different poles emotionally, as in so much else.
“I suppose I felt at some level that my influence would help her chill out a little. Looking back, it seemed to have the opposite effect, giving Joanna a target for her fears, her irritation, and her many frustrations. I don’t think either of us was very easy to live with, we were still young and were both quite extreme personalities at that point. But different extremes, Joanna and I – opposite poles. We had our moments though, which I’ll never forget, and would never want to forget. They made us who we are.
“While eating her Quarterpounder Meal in the car, her first solid food since the bout of uncontrollable vomiting on Wednesday afternoon, we looked across the car park at the panorama beyond, the M4 motorway snaking its way through Newport, heading west through a pink sky to the sunset. And I remember, will never forget, Joanna putting my hand on her bump to feel our child moving in there, nearly ready to meet us, and listening at the same time as she told me about this idea she’d had, it had just come to her now, the first stirrings.
“It was an idea for a show, a show of her very own. About all this – and she pointed with her Coke cup at the world outside our car. Joanna’s words, as I felt the baby kick, I’ll never forget, all those lights just coming on, all starting to shine, all those tiny lives. Her own eyes were shining, and I told her so. That was the moment Dan the Can Man was conceived. Three weeks later our beautiful baby Dylan was born.
“As I say, we had our moments.”
Joanna had never originated a show, had always worked for hire on other people’s projects. Now she worked with Bill and their university friend Clayton to create a pilot episode, on the strength of which the BBC commissioned a series of six 10-minute episodes, aimed at a 4-8 age group. The first series aired in March 1996 and was an immediate hit.
Parents began calling the BBC to ask if there were plans to release Dan the Can Man on video or DVD. Something about Joanna’s creation – and it was Joanna’s really, before it was anyone else’s – made it hugely popular right from the off, and well beyond its intended age group.
A hastily commissioned second series, of 12-episodes, was an even bigger hit. The series, like Teletubbies and Rastamouse before it, seemed designed to tempt cultural commentators. There were countless columns and thinkpieces in the broadsheets, while the tabloids kept up the hunt for innuendo well beyond the point of reason.
It was assumed that Dan the Can Man, despite the good-natured simplicity of the stories themselves, said something…or represented something…perhaps reflected something. No-one seemed quite sure but trying to define it – that was the thing that kept the columnists and the panellists going.
A piece in The Guardian called it the first post-Fordist kids’ show. The Times called it Trumpton on a zero hours contract. A writer for the Daily Mail bemoaned the show’s strenuous attempts to tick every last diversity box. Art critic Brian Sewell called it a drearily faithful depiction of our current atomisation and malaise, while on the same Radio 4 panel show, comedian and activist Mark Thomas asserted that it’s like Brecht or something – and we’re all Dan the Can Man now.
Joanna Milkweed, quoted in 1997: “Ultimately it’s about a little man called Dan who goes round filling up vending machines with soft drinks, and all his little adventures on the way.”
Licensing deals were signed. There was merchandise, the figures first, then the bedsheets and backpacks. Zum4 Entertainment was formed. Money began to flow. At the centre of the whirlwind stood the central trio, Jo and Bill and Clay. They each had an area of expertise: Joanna made the sets, the models and the puppets, Clay animated them, and Bill sold the finished product.
They were a team, a family. They had trust and they respected each other. Then Joanna walked away. She left behind her company, her lucrative creation, her career in TV, her life in London, and her husband. She was 41.
The two children, Dylan and Hazel, Joanna kept with her.
Milkweed bought a house near Cardiff and they lived there together, just the three of them, until the children grew up and left home. Joanna never remarried, never – as far as we can tell – embarked on another romantic relationship.
Bill Kenzie remarried twice, was divorced twice, and died at the age of 66, having turned Zum4 into an internationally successful company, while paragliding in Crete.
After Milkweed’s return to Wales in 1999 all invitations to collaborate on projects were refused, offers of work were ignored. Old acquaintances and friendships were left behind, until no-one seemed to have any idea what had become of her.
Miles Brierley regards the loss of Joanna’s gifts to the world of film and TV as “a bloody tragedy.
“I would have loved to work with Joanna again, she was quite, quite unique. I did pester her for some years with projects, inviting her to come to the studios to look at what we were doing.
“At first she just replied with polite refusals but after about three years of me periodically pestering her with offers of work, she began replying in the form of these funny postcards she’d made herself, some cryptic picture on the front. Usually stuff like derelict phone boxes with weeds growing through the little windows. Old pubs rotting away.
“Once there was a broken television set, old tube style, smashed screen, in the middle of a messy bit of muddy wood somewhere.
“I thought, yes, well, okay. I get the picture. It’s a no, isn’t it?”
For the next 63 years, until her death last year and the opening of her house to the public earlier this year, Joanna succeeded in staying beneath the margin of the world’s notice.
The one exception to Milkweed’s absence from the public stage occurred in the year 2000, when papers carried the report of a 42 year old woman arrested for breaking and entering a storage unit in Stroud. Joanna Milkweed admitted robbing the unit repeatedly over two months, emptying it of almost all its contents before a dog-walker spotted her and called the police.
Milkweed told officers that everything she had taken – which comprised all the sets, vehicles, clothes, and puppets she’d ever made for Dan the Can Man – belonged to her. The owners of the unit, Zum4 Entertainment Worldwide, declined to press charges and Joanna kept the models. They were obsolete anyway, production of the show having moved from stop motion animation to 3D computer design, in order to keep up with international demand. Bill Kenzie told a reporter, “All she had to do was ask.”
All this is a matter of public record. These are the bare facts in the case of Joanna Milkweed, as they would appear to any casual researcher. The questions they raise are many. The most obvious are: Why did Milkweed abandon her success, her creation, and her marriage in 1999?Was it for the same or at least a related set of reasons? Why did she turn her back so completely on her profession and the friends she’d made? How or why did a previously prolific artist with an astonishing work rate subdue her creative energy for the rest of her life?What did she do with her imagination, with her her hands, for the latter 63 years of her life?
In brief, whatever happened to Joanna Milkweed?
These questions are not easily answered. A woman addicted to privacy makes a difficult subject for a biographer, and I can’t pretend to be suited for such a tricky task. My role is that of an editor, or perhaps an assembler would be more accurate. What I have assembled are simply fragments of Joanna. The writer who eventually takes on the challenge of the supremely elusive Milkweed has my respect and my sympathy. I look forward to reading the finished product.
This book aims to answer just one question: what did Joanna do with all the models she stole from the lock up?
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kingofbluebell · 7 years
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Top Physical Anime Releases of 2016
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I wish I could spend this entire month making "Best of the Year" lists for 2016, but unfortunately, it would be disingenuous to do so. Most of the media I consumed this year was either older or just not strong enough for me to promote. However, there is a year-end list that is entirely made up of content not released in 2016 I consumed that I can put out: A List of my "Ten Favorite Anime Home Video Releases". That’s an overly specific title, but pedantry is something that comes with the territory. I am by no means an expert in the field of disk encoding nor would I say I’m well versed in all the goings on with the way anime is distributed, this is just a list containing the anime I was happy to see got a release or a re-release this year with a few honorable mentions. I’m also limiting this list to North American releases, only because I have even less knowledge of other regions' anime markets. Since this post is rather long, I’ve provided a list of the anime I’m going to cover here making it easier for you to search for a particular title.
Table of Contents
Shirobako (Honorable Mention)
Maria the Virgin Witch (Honorable Mention)
Otaku no Video
Belladonna of Sadness
Gundam Thunderbolt
The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
Dai-Guard
The Vision of Escaflowne
Dennou Coil
Only Yesterday
Getter Robo Armageddon
Sword of the Stranger
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Shirobako: As impressive as this show is I wouldn't call the anemic release it got this year a must buy. A shame as the release and popularity of Shirobako in the West has aided in the significant change happening to the western anime fandom in recent years. The show opened a lot of eyes to the struggles inherent in creating anime, leading to a greater appreciation of the medium as a whole. I've seen it spur on people already present in a community branch out and diversify the type of content and critique that gets produced about the medium. These claims may be a bit unsubstantiated, but I’ve known a lot of people who after watching and enjoying Shirobako got a fire lit under them to really dive in and give back to the community/industry more than they had before. The knowledgeable and passionate members of our community are creating more content than ever that help breaks down the barriers between consumers and creators that appeared to exist for decades. Slowly we’re coming together to support these fans turned scholars and the medium of anime more and I can’t wait to see what 2017 brings to the table in this way. Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, my hyperbolic statements about Shriobako and what it may or may not have done for this community aren't reflected in this two-part Sentai Filmworks release (nor could they ever realistically be). With the show available to stream currently on Crunchyroll as well as Sentai’s oft-forgotten The Anime Network and its license nowhere near close to expiring this is a show you don’t need to run out and buy immediately. Frankly, if you’re still fanatical about the show you probably bought a bunch of character goods or the second pressing of the Japanese Blu-rays. I bought this domestic release an impulse buy because Amazon has decent pre-order discount and I had the leftovers of a birthday gift card. For everyone else who wants to buy I suggest you wait until Sentai inevitably releases a complete series set.  
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Maria the Virgin Witch: Another impulse buy, this the result of a Rightstuf.com holiday sale daily deal, but one I’m less regretful supporting early. What pushed me over the edge to buy it is because I am almost certain this gem of the Winter 2015 season will continue to be overlooked. It may be in part due to its title or the fact that a lot of anime fans tend to check out during the winter season. Either way, this show about a witch in an alternate history version of a European conflict is far more engaging and endearing than the one that aired in 2016 (though those are the only similarities between Maria and Izetta I swear). I want to talk about this show for the blog this year, so I don’t want to spoil too much. I will say that you can currently stream it through Funimation or Hulu and with Funimation’s partnership with Crunchyroll I’m sure it will enter their catalog as well next year (which would be a good time to release whatever I’ve written about it). Until then this show is destined to reach Funimation’s S.A.V.E. line in the coming years as a lot of good shows, unfortunately, do in this era of overwhelmingly huge anime seasons.
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Otaku no Video: Probably the most impressive complete package I bought this year, Animeigo’s remaster of this classic OVA/Live-Action documentary by studio Gainax is pure shelf candy. I had slept on their remastering of Bubblegum Crisis, but I was enthusiastic in backing their second Kickstarter to give this essential commentary on fan culture the high-definition treatment it deserved. This limited edition comes in a solid chipboard box and includes an 180+ artbook on top of the additional audio commentaries, liner notes and three language tracks provided in the standard Blu-ray release. Though OVA itself looks better than it ever has the documentary, being not shot on 35mm film, looks decidedly more dated but less compressed than it did on the older DVD release. Robert Woodhead and everyone involved deserve high praise for the package they put together, and I would suggest any anime collector to grab the standard Blu-ray copy if they are the least bit interested. While I came from the generation of anime fans that grew after this project, I still find the topics it brings up relevant to fan culture today. There are numerous anime now that star “Otaku” now but the reasoning for almost all of those shows to do so is purely self-referential. The main character/characters are “Otaku” because the writer is one, and it gives them carte blanche to so how genre savvy they are to their majority otaku audience. Very few of these shows tackle the issues brought up about fan culture, and instead the "Otaku" character archetype has become so emblematic that it’s almost become a necessary cliche for a lot of writers to fall back on. So when I see shows that set out to address fan culture it makes me elated to watch. Shows like Genshiken, Welcome to the N.H.K. Comic Party and even Lucky Star to an extent come from a more genuine place. Whether this place is a more critical or celebratory doesn’t matter to me as it does to a lot of other fans and Otaku no Video clear cut between the fun-loving OVA and the far more sobering documentary may turn off some viewers. Sure both halves aren’t as seamlessly melded together as in later series but they are two halves of an essential whole, and I urge you to watch both if you haven't to gain the full experience.
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Belladonna of Sadness: I adore this film and relish in its beautiful restoration, but I’m at a loss for words with how to sell it to those not already in the know. Conceptually Belladonna of Sadness your straightforward rape revenge story but its presentation is anything but, not only in the realm of anime but animation as a whole. Belladonna is the final of the three Animerama films made by Osamu Tezuka’s Mushi Productions, a project that aimed to create more adult-oriented animation. It’s by far the shortest of the three films and, from what I believe is due in part to Tezuka’s lack of involvement, by far the most serious. Still, it shares the trilogy's real sense of wanting to experiment with animation on top of showcasing more mature storylines. Belladonna tale is shown through ornate watercolor stills, their elegance worthy of presenting in any art gallery. Despite showcasing limited animation for an animated feature the use of these still images through cinematography manages to make its tale no less poignant. However, in movement Belladonna is a surreal journey unlike anything on celluloid. The closest comparison I have are some of the films of Ralph Bakshi but even the most psychedelic of his sequences appear far more grounded than Belladonna’s phallic parade. The use of color and sound in these moments would be electrifying by themselves, but given the stationary nature of the film these energetic and unearthly sequences stand out even more. Despite all my praise, I understand that not everyone is as willing as I am to watch a 1970s, experimental, anime rape-revenge flick that is made up of mostly watercolor paintings let alone run out to purchase it. Luckily Amazon has it for streaming for Prime members so if you’d like to try it before adding it to your collection or just want to watch something daringly different be my guest.  
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Gundam Thunderbolt: In a year where Nozomi was putting out a Gundam release every month, fans of the long time mecha franchise, such as myself,  were downright spoiled for choice when it came to collecting the series on home video. If I was a more die-hard fan I could have made a list consisting of almost nothing but Gundam titles, but I decided to have one release represent the franchise this year. I could have chosen traditional favorites such as Zeta Gundam, 0080 War in the Pocket or Char’s Counterattack. The oft-maligned ZZ Gundam or underrated series like Victory Gundam and After War Gundam X, surprising newcomers in Gundam Build Fighters and Gundam Build Fighters Try are also appealing buys. The glorious trainwreck known as Reconguista in G was at points calling my name to defend it here and if I really wanted to send I could have even chosen the excellent adaptation of Gundam: The Origin which came in some lavishly designed art boxes. However, if I had purchased all of these this year, even taking advantage of every sale and discount possible,  I’d have been downright broke. Besides, I have a much better candidate. Gundam Thunderbolt December Sky, the compilation of the previously released four episodes, is probably the biggest piece of fanservice anime I’ve seen so far this decade. From the action choreography to the mechanical design and fluid animation all nestled in a dour military plot where neither side is the clearly in the right: This is the stuff of Gundam fans' dreams. Thunderbolt demands to be viewed in the highest definition possible, its excellent jazz soundtrack and overall sound design pleading for an appropriate surround system and this minimalistic Blu-ray release doesn't disappoint on that front. Where it does, however, is in the included dub. A dub little to most Gundam fans, especially those willing to import a Blu-ray movie, but after coming off one of the best dubs this decade, Gundam Unicorn, this is a real letdown. I’m sure this will still go over well when this eventually airs on Toonami, but I think this could have been casted a lot better. As of this writing, Gundam Thunderbolt isn’t legally streaming anymore, but hopefully when the planned second season comes out, the original will be made available either through streaming or a domestically released Blu-ray. It may be too much to ask most people to shell out for, but this right here is one of the best looking series this decade. Truly a high point for anime and animation in general. Plus one of the leaflets included in this box announces the Japanese release date for the Mobile Fighter G Gundam Blu-rays, which means they can’t be too far out from releasing domestically. I can’t wait to experience that beautifully godawful dub again, this time in high definition.
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The Girl Who Leapt Through Time: Shinkai’s first non-franchise film initially came to the West with far less fanfare as his name carries now. Sure there were fans of Digimon Adventure: Our War Game! And One Piece Film 6: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island but the cultural cache behind the director's name hadn’t exploded yet. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time changed that and probably lead to Funimation’s decision to pick up the rights and heavily market his next film Summer Wars, a film which increased his level of notoriety to the point where people began calling him “The Next Miyazaki”. While still beloved post Summer Wars, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time had the unfortunate distinction of being one of the last anime Bandai Visual had licensed before they closed up shop. The film’s popularity combined with the small print run the Blu-ray received lead to massive price gouging on the secondhand market even for the more readily available DVD copy. Having already acquired the rights to Summer Wars, Wolf Children, and the then upcoming The Boy and the Beast it seemed clear to everyone that a Funimation relicense of this film wasn’t far off. In the meantime, many in the collecting community decided to purchase the frankly stunning South Korean Blu-ray set, though others including myself waited for a far cheaper domestic copy. I bought the standard release although Funimation released a limited edition version as well that I hear doesn't compare favorably when up against the previously mentioned South Korean release. Either way, this major film from a now well-established director has finally been made available again so it can reach the wider audience he has now. Funimation’s release comes with a number of extras on the disks the most valuable being the two interviews with Hosoda. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time might not be in my upper echelon of anime films, but it’s certainly one I enjoy on occasion, even with my general lack of interest in time travel and I'm glad to have it back in my collection in an affordable higher fidelity.
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Dai-Guard: In this modern era of anime where new giant robot shows, outside Gundam, are infrequent it sure was kind of Discotek Media to redistribute this forgotten title in the genre. Imagine if events similar to those in Neon Genesis Evangelion occurred except that N.E.R.V. was not a ludicrously well-funded organization and instead had a budget similar to many of our real-life underfunded government organizations. Yes, the angel-like, amorphous threat known as the Heterodyne have returned after humanity's destructive confrontation with them twelves years prior but the only weapon capable of defeating them, the robot Dai-Guard, has seen better days. Now used as a mascot for the military Dai-Guard is barely able to make it through a battle without falling apart. This somewhat more comedic take on alien lifeforms set to destroy earth is one of the many things that set Dai-Guard apart from the many anime the share its premise. Unlike a lot of those anime, however, Dai-Guard is piloted by three people and their conflicting personalities and interpersonal stories, along with those of the rest of the 21st Century Defense Security Corporation add a lot of the flavor and weight to the series. The ensemble cast is what makes Dai-Guard more than your average giant robot show and anyone who's been a fan of office comedies, both in and outside anime, in the past decade will find a lot to enjoy here. Dai-Guard itself, while not the most memorable robot in anime history, is well designed and its signature weapons lead to some very well done fights. This show's more light-hearted tone acts as a nice reprieve in between watching more heady programming, for example, I decided to give this show a rewatch after watching Casshern Sins, and it worked wonderfully as a palate cleanser. As always Discotek does an excellent job maintaining the quality of the original release as well as shipping it in solid packaging. The original dub from the ADV release is here and is on par with what they usually produced back in those days. Overall Dai-Guard isn’t the flashiest show, but much like its titular robot it manages to hold itself together to deliver a satisfying punch to fans of a currently underserved genre.
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The Vision of Escaflowne: There was and still is a lot of drama in the anime collectors community surrounding the re-release of this well-loved anime from Sunrise. Funimation’s successful Kickstarter to redub the series was already showing warning signs before funding ended and their handling of the aftermath left a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouths. Needless to say, I doubt they’ll consider using crowdfunding again. I was unable to back the project and therefore I wasn’t privy to a lot of the discussion that took place about it. From what I managed to glean, unfortunately, it looks like an actual resolution hasn’t been met which is a shame that will continue cloud this release. Escaflowne was a huge deal in the western anime fandom upon its initial release and while it’s time in the limelight isn’t as constant as its contemporary Cowboy Bebop it is by no means a show that has aged poorly. Sunrise did an excellent job remastering this title in the Japanese release a few years ago, and the show has never looked better. I’m a bit biased toward the style of the show, being a huge fan of Nobuteru Yuki’s character designs since Chrono Cross, and when you add giant robots into the mix, you have a show that hits me right in the sweet spot. Top it all off with one of Yoko Kanno’s most celebrated scores, and you have a series poised to remain a staple in the western anime fandom for decades to come. As far as the new dub is concerned, it is certainly more up to the standards of new anime dubbing than the original, included with Bandai’s release. I never had a fondness for the original, so I can’t say I miss it. Nevertheless, I’ll still be sticking to the original Japanese for this show, unlike so many other Sunrise shows from this period. If this new dub is capable of bringing in more modern fans to enjoy this classic, then I am all for it supplanting the old one. I’m a bit disheartened that due to the new dub Funimation decided to split the series initially like they do with a lot of their newer acquisitions of similar length. They could have charged the combined price and kept everything in one box, but I guess that’ll happen when this show gets reprinted for their Anime Classics line. In the end, I’m for more people viewing this stunning show however possible either through purchasing these physical sets or streaming through Funimation and hopefully Crunchyroll sometime this year. Despite all of the mishegas, I’m glad to add this series again to my collection. However, I decided not to purchase Escaflowne: The Movie. The movie itself is an odd duck, being a pseudo-compilation movie that also alters many characters and events not just for the sake of time. I tend to find a lot of these movies rather substandard, the exception being The Adolescence of Utena which I have grown to enjoy over time and will be pleased to repurchase along with the rest of the series on Blu-ray in 2017. As for Escaflowne: The Movie I may pick it up for the sake of completion but only further down the road when it’s discounted.
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Den-Noh Coil: 2016 was going to be the year that I began importing a lot of anime as domestic licensers were either slow or unable to distribute the shows I wanted. Many these series were made available by Australian publisher Siren Visual, whom I’ve purchased from before to get my copy of Welcome to Irabu’s Office. Luckily Sentai Filmworks stepped in to begin distributing a handful of Siren's catalog in Region A including this one (now if only they or anyone would license Monster or Kaiba). Den-Noh Coil had been a show that struck a chord with me when I found it online in 2008 and was one of the big things I shared with my college anime club when I was asked to run nights. I held out hope that the show would officially available in English, but that wish and the little fanfare the show received subsided as the years continued.  It’s a shame the series and its talented creator Mitsuo Iso haven’t become household names, and I’m hoping this late release can help restart the conversation about both. What surprised me most about this release from Sentai Filmwork’s Maiden Japan imprint is that they decided to dub it, and I honestly think it isn’t half bad. I rewatched the first handful of episodes dubbed and while North America’s limited anime VA talent limits it (as it does almost every modern dub) I’d hazard to say it tops Maria the Virgin Witch’s for my personal choice for best dub of the year. Unlike Maria’s I find the dubbing of this show far more important as I genuinely think this is a good show for younger children. The kids in this show look and act like kids and while it gets a bit dark in places there is nothing here that I think would frighten kids more than the cavalcade of horrors I saw growing up watching Don Bluth movies. I also see this show as a good candidate to ease your older friends and family into anime as there isn’t anything here I’d consider objectionable or embarrassing. Besides, a lot of the concepts in this show are moving far closer to the realm of possibility than they were a decade ago. Wearable computers, virtual reality and the omnipresence of technology and how it meshes with where we live are far more relevant topics than they ever were in 2007 due to how tangible all these ideas are to us now especially with kids who grew up only knowing smartphones and tablets. I’m glad I got to revisit this show recently, and I’m hoping more people do in the coming years so I can talk about it with someone. It’s only available to stream through The Anime Network for now but hopefully, some other site (Crunchyroll) will be able acquire it as well.
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Only Yesterday: It makes sense that this would be the last of the major Studio Ghibli films to see release in North America. A movie about the growing ennui of a late 20-something business woman isn’t something you can easily sell to kids, especially when there isn’t a randomly inserted fantasy sequence such as with the similarly tonal Whisper of the Heart. Still, as I hasten to reach the age of our protagonist Taeko Okajima I’ve only found this film more relatable and it has managed to climb the ranks of my personal “Ghibli Hierarchy”. There was a lot of buzz around this Disney dub starring The Force Awakens' lead Daisy Ridley, but I can’t say I’ve listened to this one yet. I can assure you that the mixed reactions  I've heard and read from a lot of people haven't affected my decision to do so. My reasoning for not listening to it is rather simple: I don't want to watch a film grounded in 1980s Japan with English voices. The dub is there for those who want it, and if it manages to get more people to see this movie, then it was worth making. Only Yesterday is a fantastic film worthy of placement in your collection alone, but the over 40-minute making-of documentary included in its extra features make it a must buy for anyone interested in animation production or Studio Ghibli.  Not only does this cover a lot of the movie's unique production aspects of the film but the culture of Studio Ghibli at the turn of the decade. Being filmed around Only Yesterday’s 1991 release this is relatively early in the studio’s life, so it’s an excellent snapshot of this period. Being one of Takahata's films we see a great deal of him and his worth ethic both in animation directing and with running the studio, something we, unfortunately, don’t get a lot of due to the cult of personality surrounding Hayao Miyazaki. Of course, Miyazaki is prominently featured here, as well, and this being the early 90s he’s relatively less cynical. Being able to own this documentary that I’ve watched for a number of years is great, and I’m thankful the folks at Disney went out of their way to acquire it again for this release. It's a sizable contribution that makes an already great package truly stellar.
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Getter Robo: Armageddon: I tend to have horrible luck when it comes to purchasing old media. Most times I buy something that’s long out of print it gets announced for a re-release within the next few weeks. Getter Robo: Armageddon would surely have been another one of those cases had I not checked Facebook to see Discotek Media’s announcement. I used to show this one as well in my college anime club, and a lot of the folks who were Gurren Lagann fans ate it up. For months I had been waiting for this action-packed OVA to be released in high definition, getting jealous of those who attended summer cons grabbing and early print copies. This gritty, high-octane giant robot show is an enjoyable romp from beginning to end. The remaster not only makes the colors pop, but the improved sound makes all the action scenes for me, that and most of the episodes starting with the second opening HEATS doesn’t hurt either. This entire series scratches that itch for hot-blooded fun and looks marvelous doing it. I’m always happy to support a company like Discotek because time and again they release quality products and Getter Robo: Armageddon is no exception. After the anime crash in the late 2000s, I thought a company like Discotek that only licensed older anime would be a flash in the pan. With every box set and movie, I buy from them I'm reminded how wrong I was in my assumption. Their 2017 lineup is already looking stellar and the fact they announce new licenses almost every other month shows how strong they’ve become.
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Sword of the Stranger: You might wonder why I’ve taken a photo of the older Bandai release instead of Funimation’s recent reprinting. This is because despite the Funimation release getting a dub I didn’t feel the need to rebuy something I already owned on Blu-Ray. I’ve heard the dub is fair and the extra features are nice, but neither are spectacular enough for me to double dip so early. Nevertheless, I wanted to bring attention to this great action film’s re-release and if you read until this point in the post you know I’ve already spent my fair share on anime this year so cut me some slack. Sword of the Stranger one of the first names brought up when anime fans want to showcase a great action scene. The choreography the folks at Studio Bones nailed down here is outstanding and worthy of any action showcase. Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood should be elated in finally getting access to this movie again as that series owes a lot to the style of action created for this film. Not only that but the film as a whole is a solid feature: a simple samurai story told well. There isn’t anything revolutionary going on here plotwise, and the characters are familiar archetypes though not to a fault. It isn’t trying to deconstruct its themes and characters for critique. Rather it comes off as a slick action movie that effortless falls into the greater chanbara canon. I appreciate this film's simplistic approach. It makes for easy sharing with friends and family who don’t usually watch a lot of anime. Sometimes all I want is a good self-contained action movie and Sword of the Stranger delivers and then some even a decade later. My only reservation about picking this one up now is that somehow Funimation failed to include subtitles for the Chinese dialogue, something included in the Bandai release I own. I'm hoping that with the release being so recent and the mistake pointed out that it will be fixed in newer pressings and that those who picked it up early can get exchanges. Maybe 2017 will be the year Funimation also revamps its attitude toward quality assurance? Here's hoping because I'd hate for a great film like this to be dragged down by an easily fixed mistake.
By now I’ve written more than enough about the anime on home video (re)published in 2016. Not only that but some well-beloved classic titles have already been announced for release (again) next year. Featuring plenty of Gundam, Revolutionary Girl Utena Blu-Rays, Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer, Captain Harlock: Arcadia of my Youth and if we're lucky more popular Sunrise shows. 2017 looks to be an even better year for those of us who relish in collecting disks and I'll be there, my bank account willing, ready to enjoy it.
See you next week.
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