They meet a human woman with a beard, how do they react? ( Thorin’s company )
( none of the gifs or pictures are mine )
(Here a picture found on google of Harnaam Kaur ,she's 24 years old , has polycystic ovary syndrome, a hormonal condition that can result in the growth of excess facial hair. In March 2016 she became the first female with a beard to walk the runway at London Fashion Week. She’s BEAUTIFUL SERIOUSLY !)
-he is SO confused at first
-The fact of meeting a dwarf traveling alone, a lady at that, being surprising and rare to say the least, he is just, "Where are you from? Where are the others? What dwarf cities are you from? Why are you traveling alone ?"
-because yes, even if you are the size of a human, and having never heard of a bearded woman existing among humans, he immediately thinks that you are a lady dwarf
-When you explain to him that no, it is quite normal, that you are not one of his but actually a human lady, he will confound himself in excuses.
-He knows the reputation that dwarf women have among humans (not to their liking) and fears to have embarrassed you
-Does he find you attractive? MAHAL YES !!!
-”Balin help how do you compliment a human lady ?“
-He had heard of women with beards among humans but had never met one before
-He is more than delighted and honored to meet you
-he will subtly make you understand that you do not leave indifferent several members of the Company
-if you ask him, he will explain how beards are perceived by dwarves, and how important they are to them
-At first he will think that you are making fun of dwarf women and that you have a fake beard
-he will then smash the face of all those who will have the misfortune to make fun of you
-will help Thorin to compliment you
-will teach you to break the face of those who laugh at you
-no matter how many times you try to explain to him that you are a human lady, he will think you are a lady dwarf
-will give you billions of tips to take care of your beard and make it beautiful
-”a beard like this and still not married? Inconceivable!”
-he is outraged to hear that you are single
-”Come on, Oin, we must find her someone worthy of her !”
-Bombur and him adopt you
-as protective as Dwalin
-knowing already that some dwarf women have more beard than him, to know that a HUMAN LADY has more beard than him makes him a little jealous
-but after a while he is : “Ok she’s pretty.”
-tries to make you understand that he finds you attractive
-laughs at his brother for seeing that a female human has more beard than him
-compliments you directly
-does not hide that you are perceived as a beauty among the dwarfs
-will offer you to try some braids and will even lend you some of his jewelry
-Like Oin, he will think that you are a dwarf lady and good luck to make him understand
-he will offer you wooden jewels that he will have carved himself to adorn your beard
-will try for a long time to put you in couple with Bofur
-he is sorry to hear that you have been harassed and mocked because of your beard
-”Why don’t you come leave in one of our city ? Even if dwarfs are not to your taste, you will be more than respected here, and much more !”
-will assure you that you are very pretty the way you are and that you have nothing to be ashamed of
-he is already on his way to adopt you
-cherring adoptive father
-if you were not confident because of your beard, he will give you confidence
-he must control himself with all his strength not to bury you under all his advices to magnify your beard, the oils to use, the possible hairstyles to make, the braids, the jewelry
-the first human he sees looking at you the wrong way will have his arm broken
-It will take a while for this little guy to come and ask you if he can draw you
-“Dori, how do you court someone?”
-is very afraid to compliment you
-you will find jewels to put in your beard in your pockets and your bag without ever knowing where they come from
-he will never tell you but he thinks your beard is beautiful
in short: they think you are beautiful and they think that if Aulë made the gift of a beard to a human lady, she is worth it
65 notes · View notes
If they could learn them, which dances would they choose? Dwarf edition ( with more or less explanations )
(none of the gifs are mine )
GIMLI : Tap Dance
The echoes must be deafening in some parts of Erebor. This + boots = best place to tap dance.
I want to see dwarves tap dancing in Erebor.
DAIN IRONFOOT : rock’n roll dance/rockabilly
A dance requiring so much energy can only please a dwarf like him
DWALIN : classical dance/ballet dance
no, no, I'm not kidding. I think that ballet would be a dance that would appeal to Dwalin.
NORI : Hopak/Gopak
Because a dance that requires so much dexterity, flexibility, speed and strength can be a considerable asset for 1) combat 2) burglaries. And besides, imagine how crazy it could drive Dori if Nori practices all over the house.
DORI : Capoeira
A mixture of combat and dance: refined and powerful, just like Dori.
OIN : Waltz
He is half deaf, you have to give him a slow dance I think so that he does not lose the rhythm
BOFUR : Salsa
Joyful, like him.
BALIN : Fox-trot
Elegant and fun for a cool grandpa.
BOMBUR : Hip-hop
After seeing him take down Orcs while stuck in a barrel, you can't convince me that Bombur wouldn't be a hip hop champion.
BIFUR : Footwork
The axe did not break his dancing abilities
GLOIN : Jumpstyle
Imagine him trying to teach jumpstyle to a three year old Gimli, it's way too cute.
45 notes · View notes