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middleearthpixie · 1 year

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Brilliant Disguise ~ Chapter Seven

Summary: Speech therapist Josephine Asharm has been brought into Erebor to work with Bifur, but trying to find her place among people who eye her suspiciously would be difficult enough under normal circumstances, but when Sophie finds herself caught between the king, his most trusted lieutenant, and the dwarf she’s there to help? She’s certain no good can come of it. Being of Man, not only does she stand out in the dwarf kingdom, she’s not entirely certain she’s actually welcome there at all.

Thorin only agreed to allow Sophie to live amongst them out of a sense of duty to Bifur, who is recovering from an odd head injury (is there any other way to describe having an axe blade lodged in one’s head, only to have it later dislodged during the Battle of the Five Armies?) Before the battle, he spoke only khuzdul. But since it? He’s regained the ability to speak Westron—if only he could but remember any of it. As for Thorin? He’s trying his damndest to ignore the speech therapist, not to mention his own growing feelings for her, even as he is also recovering from his near fatal wounding in the same battle.

Both Sophie and Thorin are haunted by their pasts and are uncertain of their futures, but sometimes, chances must be taken…

A/N: This is loosely tied into my Christmas fic, Yule. Post-BOTFA Where Everybody Lives

Summary: Thorin offers Sophie a tour of Erebor to prevent her from becoming lost again and later, on their way to Dale, Dwalin and Thorin discuss both Sophie and Dís

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x OFC Josephine (Sophie) Asharm

Characters: Sophie, Heather, Dwalin, Dís

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 5,239

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Previous chapters can be found here.

Sophie closed the door softly behind her and leaned against it, head back, eyes closed, relief and idiocy mingling together with the sweat and grime covering her to make her want to cry. How could she have been so stupid to grow so lost, especially after all of her warnings to Heather about the dangers of doing so? And then to go and lose herself, only to have to be rescued by the blasted king of all people?

With a low groan of disgust, she slid down the door and sat there, face buried in her hands. She didn't know how long she sat there for—long enough for the sweat that dampened her back to dry.

“You fool,” she whispered, letting her hands fall away from her face. “How can you ever look him in the eye again? He had to talk you down as if you were a child, and hold you whilst you sobbed as a baby would.”

You are a baby, Josephine. Her mother’s voice was as loud and clear as if the woman herself was in the room with her. And a fool and you deserved to be left there to rot with those corpses.

She’s right, you know. Sten’s face floated before her, his smile condescending and cold. Afraid of dark and things that go bump in the night. You are as much a child as that brat you claim to be mine.

“Leave me be,” she whispered to the phantoms in her mind. She had grown so very weary of Sten’s doubt that Heather was his, of his insinuations that he knew of her many affairs, all of which existed only in his mind. Still, he berated her at every turn, as her own mother did as well. They mocked her fear of the dark, and Sten took a perverse pleasure in looking her in a dark room when he was cross with her. He would laugh at her cries to be freed, to please, please let her out, her promises to never set a foot wrong again.

“He is gone,” she whispered, rubbing her tired eyes with both hands, “and he will not trouble you again.”

Still, those phantoms haunted her. Hovered about her to eat away at her newfound confidence, her newfound peace. To remind her that the past was never really behind her as long as she let it interfere with her present.

Sophie shivered now. Not a single, rational soul would fault her for being so horrified, so upset. When she tugged open that door and stepped into the room, it was only by the weak light of the torch in the corridor that she could see the hideous sight. In her shock at seeing the dead, all strewn about like life-size dolls, she’d let go of the door. She’d spun about to try to grab it, only to have it slam shut behind her and plunge her into horrifying, thick, suffocating darkness. She had no control over that fear, which was every bit as thick as the darkness, as it wrapped about her like a heavy, winter-weight velvet. Breathing became almost impossible. Not only did the chamber reek of death and decay, but that velvet compressed her lungs, rendering her incapable of doing much more than quick, shallow breaths that did nothing but make her lightheaded and the fear even colder.

Although she’d heard the tales of when Smaug sacked Erebor, not a one of them ever mentioned dwarves trapped deep within the kingdom. She’d always assumed they’d all gotten out.

How wrong she was.

She sat there a little longer, then pushed herself to her feet. Heather was safe. She was also safe. Safe, perhaps, but utterly spent. Exhausted. Worn out.

With a heavy sigh, Sophie padded into the bathing chamber. One of the best things about Erebor was that, unlike her flat in Dale, or even the rickety house in Esgaroth, was the heated running water. All she need do was turn one of the taps over the black stone bathing tub and within minutes, water hot enough to steam poured from the spigot.

She let hot and cold run together and as the tub filled, she peeled her ruined dress from her back. It held the stench of the chamber, the heavy muskiness of sweat caused by utter, abject terror, and she didn't care if she ever laid eyes upon it again. So, while the tub filled, she stripped off her equally ruined chemise and hose and made her way out to the great room, to toss all offending garments in the fire.

When she returned to the bathing chamber, the tub was almost filled, so she carefully climbed into it, sighing with relief as she sank into the relaxingly hot water. She sat there, head back against the smooth side, eyes closed, and just savored the warmth on her skin.

With her eyes closed, she could still feel the gentle brush of Thorin’s thumb against her cheek, could still see the way his steely blue eyes (how was it possible for his eyes to be so beautifully blue?) softened as he leaned toward her.

He was going to kiss her. She knew it as certainly as she knew her own name. She’d felt the air crackle about them, heard it in the whispered caress of his voice. And if it wasn’t for some very poor timing…

Sophie would know what it was like to be kissed by The King Under the Mountain.

Disappointment mingled with relief. The last thing she wanted, or needed, was a romantic entanglement with anyone in Erebor, never mind the king himself. It mattered not how handsome he was, or how comfortable he made her feel, or even how good he was with Heather. She’d promised herself, had promised Heather when she was only an infant, that if she could get away from Sten Asharm, she would never put either one of them in that situation ever again. And no matter how charming and kind Thorin was, she simply could not take that risk.

****

“Mama!”

Stones rattled as Heather launched herself at her mother and Sophie caught her easily to swing her up, saying, “Oh, how pretty you look this morning!”

“Lady Dís did this,” Heather explained, catching the long braid plaited into her hair just before her right ear. Stones of clear pink and blue had been woven into the plait as well, throwing off flashes of light as Heather let the braid slip through her hand. “She said I should keep it as a token of our friendship. Braids are very important to dwarves, Mama. Did you know that?”

Sophie looked over at Lady Dís, who sat with her brother and her sons at their usual table, and she remembered the sight of the braids in Thorin’s hair as well. “Are they? Why?”

“They mean trust. A dwarf only allows someone they trust to touch their hair.” Heather smiled, looping her arms about Sophie’s neck. “Lady Dís is my friend now, Mama. She said so. And…” her eyes grew serious, “I want to marry Kíli when I’m old enough.”

“Oh, love,” Sophie chuckled, giving her a gentle bounce, “I’m afraid he is far too old for you and he is spoken for besides.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard rumors there is to be a wedding soon. And he will marry a wood-elf, named Tauriel.”

Heather pouted. “Unfair.”

“Well, he’s far older than you, love. And who knows, by the time you’re old enough to even think about marrying, you will have set your sights on someone else.”

“It’s still not fair.”

“I think you’ll find a way to go on.” Sophie gave her a squeeze. “Now, why don’t we eat? Because Mama has to go and work with Mr. Bifur in a short while and Miss Oakmane is expecting you.”

Heather sighed softly and nodded. “Where did you go last night, Mama? I was waiting for you.”

Guilt twisted her insides. Guilt. Embarrassment. She felt like such a fool, having to be rescued from the bowels of Erebor, and to break down and cry the way she did… But, at the same time, she’d never seen anything as… horrifying as the sight of the mummified dwarves scattered about that dirty, cobwebbed chamber.

She fought down a shiver as she said, “I’m afraid I got myself all turned around yesterday and His Majesty and Mr. Dwalin had to come find me. By the time I was back at Lady Dís’ apartments, you were sound asleep.”

“Her bed is really comfortable, Mama. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I couldn’t help it.”

Sophie smiled at the contrition in her daughter’s voice and smoothed a hand over her hair. “It’s fine, love. I’m just thankful she was there for you.”

“Me, too.” Heather nodded. “And Mister Thorin found you?”

Sophie nodded, her heart skipping at beat as she once more looked over at the King Under the Mountain, deep in conversation with his oldest nephew. He was going to kiss her last night. She knew it. She knew it as well as she knew her own name. And if Dís hadn’t opened that door when she had—

It was just as well. No matter how she thought she would enjoy being kissed by Thorin, to allow herself to do so was a terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. So, thank Mahal for Dís’ not-so-wonderful timing.

“He did, love. Now, shall we go and eat?”

“Can we go sit with Lady Dís and Mister Thorin?”

“I don’t think we should, love.” She glanced back at Thorin at the same moment he looked over her way. As her gaze met his, it was almost a physical touch for her. A jolt tore through her, one that grew stronger as he smiled. Her heart actually skipped a beat as he said something to Fíli and rose from his chair.

Heather waved over Sophie’s shoulder. “Mister Thorin! Good morning!”

Sophie’s mouth went dry as Thorin closed the space between them. “Good morning, mimûna,” he turned his smile to Sophie, “Mrs. Asharm. How are you this morning?”

“I’m much better, thank you.”

“Mama?” Heather turned to her. “Did something happen to you?”

“I told you, I got myself lost last eve, if you can believe that,” Sophie told her with a grin. “I got myself all turned around and lost and His Majesty had to rescue me.”

“Did you really rescue my mama, Mister Thorin?” Heather’s eyes widened as she looked from Sophie to Thorin. “Really?”

Thorin chuckled softly. “She exaggerates, mimûna, for I did no such thing. I just happened upon her in one of the corridors far below.”

To Sophie’s surprise, he winked and added, “But, she did not earn a slice of cake.”

“Mama, I can show you around and maybe next time you can have cake instead of getting lost.”

Sophie couldn’t help her laugh as she gave her daughter a squeeze. “I’m not in any hurry to explore, love. I think I’ll stick to the levels I know and leave the exploring to you and Gimli.”

Thorin smiled. “I will show you around, Mrs. Asharm. I have a bit of time to spare after supper tonight, if you’d like a tour. And perhaps then you will earn yourself a slice of cake.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to say no, to insist she and Heather needed a quiet night in her apartments. But as she looked back at Thorin, she found herself saying, “I would love one, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all,” he replied. “And you, mimûna, how would you like to visit with Lady Dís again?”

“Could I?”

He nodded. “I think so. I’ll ask her.” He held out his arms to her. “We can ask her together, if you like, Miss Heather.”

“Thorin,” Sophie said, as Heather stretched toward him, “I’ve no desire to impose on your sister two nights in a row.”

“It’s no imposition,” Thorin assured her, cradling Heather against him as if she was his own child. She didn't miss how easily he held her, how comfortable he seemed to be with her when she wrapped her legs about him and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Come, and we will ask.”

“Oh, I don’t think—”

“Careful, Mrs. Asharm,” he said with a hint of laughter in his deep voice. “I’m beginning to get the feeling you’d rather not have me show you around.”

“Well,” she said softly, unable to hold back her smile, “I certainly wouldn’t want you to think that.”

“I didn't think so.” His free hand came to rest at the small of her back and he guided her through the throngs of people gathering in the Great Hall.

Heat from his palm, from his fingertips, sank into her back, and she tried not to think about it as they crossed over to where Dís sat, deep in conversation with one of the other dwarrowdams.

She looked up and smiled. “Good morning, Miss Heather! Are you trying to kidnap my brother?”

Heather beamed as she shook her head. “No, Lady Dís, I promise I’m not. Not at all.”

“I was wondering,” Thorin said as he carefully sank into the chair to his sister’s left, “if you would, once more, be willing to keep an eye on Miss Heather here later this evening, so I might give Mrs. Asharm a tour of Erebor.”

Sophie bit the inside of her cheek as Lady Dís’ knowing eyes slid from him to her and she said, “A tour?”

“I got myself so terribly lost last eve,” Sophie said with a hint of a laugh as the dwarrowdam on the lady’s far side just stared, “that His Majesty offered to show me around so I don’t have to worry about it again.”

“I also suggested a sackful of stones for her to carry,” Thorin broke in with a grin, “just in case.”

“I’ll just bet you did.” Dis smiled as she looked back at her brother. “And of course, I would love to have Miss Asharm come visit with me this evening. Perhaps I could take her to the stables and let her ride one of the ponies in the paddock?”

Sophie hesitated, but then nodded. “I don’t see the harm,” she said, ruffling Heather’s hair. “Would you like that, sweetling?”

Heather nodded. “I would, Mama, yes!”

“Then it’s settled,” Dís said. “What time were you thinking, Thorin?”

“After supper, so perhaps half-six?” Thorin glanced over at Sophie. “If that works for you?”

She nodded. “That would be fine.”

“Then half-six it is,” Dís smiled. “I look forward to it.”

Sophie also smiled. “As do I. Now, Miss Heather, it’s time for you to go and find Miss Oakmane so Mama can get to work.”

Heather nodded. “Yes, Mama! Bye, Mister Thorin! Lady Dís!” She darted off toward Gimli, shouting, “Wait for me!”

“She is a bundle of energy,” Thorin remarked.

Sophie nodded. “That she is. She wears me out without even trying these days.” She looked over at Thorin and his sister. “If you will excuse me, I’m supposed to be meeting Bifur in about fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Thorin said, his hand coming to rest at the small of her back, “as I’m curious as to how his therapy is coming along.”

“Enjoy your walk,” Dís said with a knowing grin. “Thorin, if you’re free this afternoon, there is something I need your help with.”

“Of course.” He turned back to Sophie. “Shall we?”

Her belly twisted, but it wasn’t an altogether uncomfortable twist. Thorin fell into step with her as he said, “So, how is he coming along?”

“It’s a bit slower than I’d expected.”

“His injury was that severe? We all thought once the blade was removed, he’d revert back to how he’d been before it happened.”

She paused at the top of the staircase, stepping back as two dwarves passed by. She really didn't wish to be overheard by anyone else, since Bifur’s condition was not their concern. It really wasn’t any of Thorin’s concern, either, but since he was the king, she couldn't quite think of a way to say it without coming across as rude.

So, she waited for the dwarves to pass them by, then leaned against the stone wall. “That’s not exactly how it works, Your Majesty.” At his long look, she cleared her throat. “I mean, Thorin. Some of his speech has, of course, returned, but it’s been long enough that he’s almost learning to speak all over again. And I assume khuzdul is a dwarf’s first language?”

“It depends, but in his case, it was, yes.”

“So, that’s what he knows inside and out. Westron is an acquired language, so he needs to work a bit harder to re-acquire it. And… well…”

“He’s stubborn.”

She nodded. “He’s stubborn. Very much so, at times.”

Thorin leaned against the wall across from her. “Is he giving you trouble?”

She stared at him for a long moment, debating whether or not to tell him the truth. He didn't press, didn't seem at all impatient, his blue eyes tranquil as they held her gaze. A deep breath and she said, “At times, yes. He grows impatient and when that happens, he becomes anger-locked. Refuses to speak Westron. Pretends he understands only khuzdul.”

“He doesn’t lash out, does he?”

“Not exactly. But he has shown hints of temper.” She looked down the corridor, where it opened up into the walkways and staircases above the gallery. Torches and lanterns in heavy iron sconces, suspended by equally heavy iron chains, lit the cavern to show the vault of the ceiling as well as the depths of the corridors. It was immense and those walkways seemed to go on forever. It was no wonder she’d gotten so lost. The floors below the gallery were enclosed, and her palms grew damp just thinking about them.

“Mrs. Asharm?”

“I beg your pardon.” She looked back at him. “We work out in the courtyard and that seems to help a little, but I have to admit, he’s progressing at a far slower rate than I thought he would.”

She held her breath, waiting to see if he’d suggest perhaps they needed to bring in someone who could have a bit more success with him. But, instead, he pushed away from the wall to cross to her side. “Be patient with him, Mrs. Asharm. He’s a gentle soul at heart. I can speak with him if you need me to, but I think he needs only time.”

“I’m willing to give him all the time he needs. I just do not wish you to think your money is being wasted or that I am failing at the task for which I’ve been hired.”

“Worry not,” he said, closing the space between them. She was taller than him, but only just, “for I think no such thing. I know Bifur and I have known him a very long time. I know very well how stubborn he can be, so rest assure, I’ll not be asking you to take your leave of Erebor any time soon.”

Relief surged through her, and she could only hope she managed to keep it from showing on her face. Instead, she smiled as if she expected no less, and said, “I cannot promise he will recover everything in no time, but I am willing to work with him as long as he wishes to work with me.”

“Well, as I said, neither he nor I will be asking you to leave any time soon.”

He said it softly, and once more the air around them crackled. Once more, she had that feeling he was going to kiss her.

Her heart thudded hard against her ribs. What would a kiss from the King Under the Mountain be like? She’d never kissed a man with a beard, and wondered how scratchy it would feel against her skin, how coarse would those whiskers be and would they leave a mark?

Would the softness of his lips make up for it? Because she had the feeling his lips would be so very soft, indeed.

“Where is—”

“Thorin? Might I have a word with ye?”

She swallowed an oath and Thorin let out a soft sigh as Dwalin approached. With a nod, Thorin turned away from her. “What is it, Dwalin?”

“A courier has arrived from Dale. It seems Bard would like to sit down sometime today, if possible.”

“Very well. I have bit of free time this morning, so, let’s go pay him a call, shall we?”

Dwalin bobbed his head, then smiled at her. “Good morning, Mrs. Asharm. I’m sorry to intrude.”

“It’s no trouble, Mr. Fundinson. The king is always in demand.”

“Except for this evening,” Thorin turned back to her, “and I will see you at half-six?”

“Yes, you will, Your Majesty.”

To her surprise, he winked. “If you will excuse me, I have to go and rearrange part of my schedule to accommodate a pushy bowman.”

Dwalin chuckled. “Pushy, indeed.”

“Good luck,” she called as the two dwarves turned to make their way back toward the Great Hall.

“We will need it!” Thorin called back, which made her chuckle as she turned to continue on her way to the infirmary.

Thorin bit back his irritation as he and Dwalin made their way along the rutted road between Dale and Erebor. “What does the bowman want now?”

“He is having trouble with some of the contractors. Apparently several have not shown up when they were supposed to and now he must find new workmen if there is any hope of having reconstruction started before winter. And since ye control the purse strings, he wants ye taking part in the hiring…”

“This is beginning to feel as if it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Perhaps we should but wait until spring.”

“Ye could, but Dale is terribly crowded.”

“I know.” Thorin sighed softly and glanced up at the clouds gathering overhead. The air had a distinct chill in it that suggested winter might be coming in early. Winter. Almost a year since that day out at Ravenhill—

A chill ran along his spine that had nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with things he’d much rather forget. He tried not to dwell on what happened at Ravenhill, tried very hard to put it and the dragon sickness that led up to the battle, far behind him.

For all the good it did.

He still did not sleep peacefully. Nightmares haunted him. The scars from that battle, and from several preceding it, still pained him. During the day, he could forget what happened, could shove it back into the further recesses of his mind, but at night, when he was alone in his chambers, with only the darkness and his thoughts for company, things were different.

“Has Mrs. Asharm recovered from her ordeal?” Dwalin asked as they began the uphill trek to Dale’s main street.

“I think so. She was shaken up, but unharmed otherwise.” Thorin glanced at him. “We need to take care of those—of them. As soon as possible. It is unconscionable that they have been there nearly a century and that they remain there still. What if it had been Miss Heather who stumbled upon that room? Or Gimli? They would be scarred for life.”

“I will speak with Brom and Kal about removing everyone and giving them all a proper burial.”

“Good. It should be taken care of as soon as possible.”

“Aye. And it will be.” Dwalin waited a beat, then said, “So, have ye asked her about her husband yet?”

“Why would I?”

Dwalin offered up a long look. “Yer meeting up with her later this evening, aren’t ye?”

“To show her about and prevent her from finding her way into places she does not wish find herself in, yes.”

Dwalin sighed softly. “I tried to kiss her last eve. She drew back from me.”

A hint of jealousy sliced through Thorin, but he managed to keep his voice even as he asked, “Did she offer up a reason?”

“No—well, she said she needed concentrate on work so as not to irritate Narnerra or Dís. She mentioned nothing about being married.”

“I am but giving her a tour of Erebor.”

Dwalin arched a single brow. “May I speak openly with ye, Thorin?”

“Have I ever said no?”

“I will step aside if ye wish to pursue Mrs. Asharm.”

“I appreciate the gesture, Dwalin, but I am not pursuing anyone. In fact, Dís was trying to convince me to meet a friend of hers, in the hopes that I will make her Erebor’s queen, only to have me disabuse her of that notion in a hurry. I’ve too much to do here and no time for much else, so as I said, I appreciate the gesture, but it really is of no consequence one way or the other. However, I must confess to being a bit curious,” it was his turn to arch a brow in Dwalin’s direction, “what happened between you and Dís?”

“I’ve no wish to speak of it.”

Thorin had no wish to hear of it, truth be told, and so was more than a little relieved at Dwalin’s reticence to tell him much more. “I see. Take care and remember, she is still my sister.”

“Then ye need speak with her, not me. She ended things. I did not.”

“And yet you pursue Mrs. Asharm?” He shot Dwalin a long look. They had been friends since the beginning of time, it seemed, and there were few people he trusted as much. Still, this was not something Dwalin normally did. “Not very noble of you, I’m afraid.”

“No. I don’t suppose it was, and perhaps Mrs. Asharm picked up on that as well.” Dwalin sighed softly. “Yer sister leaves me at a bit of a loss, Thorin, as she always does. She plays no games and yet, I have no clue what she wants from me.”

“I would wager she doesn’t know herself.”

Dwalin scowled. “That does not help me, ye know.”

“I know, but it’s the best I can offer. However, if you wish me to say something to Dís, I will.”

“That is the last thing I want ye to do. The very last, actually.”

Thorin chuckled. “If you say so.”

“Tell me true, Thorin, are ye interested in Mrs. Asharm?”

They had crested the hill and now stood at the very end of Stone Street, the main avenue running the length of Dale and through its center. In the time since the Battle of the Five Armies, Dale had gone from an abandoned shell of a city to the thriving center of commerce it had been in the days before Smaug’s arrival. The tang of roasted meats—both game and farm raised—peppered the air, as did the rich sweet scents of chocolate and baked goods, the earthy perfume of nutmeg and cinnamon, and the last time Thorin heard or saw the vendors in their shops hawking their wares, he’d been a young dwarf with his future set in stone.

Down to the bride chosen for him.

He paused. A low pale stone wall ran the length of the road and he leaned against it, arms folded, as he stared off at Erebor’s dark greenish-black façade in the distance. It was still a bit of a shell of its former self, but he had all the faith in the world that they would one day soon reclaim Erebor’s former glory once more.

He didn't like to think of those days before Smaug any more than he did the ones following Ravenhill. And Elmaya belonged firmly in those days.

“I am, yes,” he said softly, watching Dwalin’s reaction, waiting for him to flinch or grimace or offer up some indication that he wasn't quite so willing to step aside where Sophie was concerned.

But, Dwalin’s expression remained neutral as he nodded. “Then, ye should do something about that. And perhaps I can fix what Dís and I have muddled so badly.”

“First, you can talk her down where Kíli and Tauriel are concerned,” Thorin told him as they resumed their strides. “She is convinced the she-elf will be the ruin of him and I cannot get her to see reason.”

“And ye think I can? She willna listen to me any more than she will to ye.”

“This is true, but you can take her mind off his upcoming wedding in ways no one else can.”

Dwalin grinned. “This is true.”

“And that is all I will say and more than I wish to hear where my sister is concerned.” Thorin turned his attention down Stone Street, where it rose slightly toward the city’s center. There stood a squat, three-story building of white stone with a red gabled roof and equally red shutters. The Provincial House, seat of Dale’s Master—Bard, the bowman responsible for slaying Smaug a year before.

Most of the city had been, or was very close to being, fully restored. Many of the pale buildings still bore the scorch marks left from the firedrake’s breath as a reminder and a memorial to those who perished. Where full structures had been destroyed, new ones stood. Roofs that had been crackled and crumbled were fully repaired. Shops that had burned to the ground or had been destroyed by the dragon’s wings or claws or breath were now rebuilt and open for business.

In the town square, a block before the Provincial House, children played once more and Thorin smiled as he and Dwalin wove around them carefully. So many of them reminded him if Gimli, of Heather—full of life and laughter and joyful shrieks as they raced about without a care in the world.

He was fond of children, at ease with them, and when his nephews were small, spent as much time with them as he could. Some in Erebor saw Gimli and Heather as pests, as nuisances underfoot, but to Thorin, they represented a future that he once never dared dream Erebor would see again. Yes, they could be loud and messy and underfoot, but they also looked at the world through new and innocent eyes, and when he’d found Heather sobbing in that passageway, he would have done anything in his power to make certain she never cried again.

They made their way up the steps of the Provincial House and Thorin thrust open the door. Dust motes swirled through the pale light filtering in through the front windows. The smell of sawdust and fresh paint hung in the air, and a certain dampness surrounded them.

“Your Majesty,” Emmaline Grady greeted him as she rose from her chair, “Bard is in his office.”

She gestured toward a set of double doors to their right, where Bard’s office was located. Thorin bobbed his head as he and Dwalin did not break their strides but continued on in. He hadn’t planned on spending his morning in Dale and wasn't exactly thrilled to be doing so. The sooner this meeting was over, the sooner he could get back to Erebor and the sooner half-six would arrive.

#The Hobbit #Thorin Oakenshield #Hobbit Fic #Hobbit Fanfic #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction #Thorin x OC #AU #Thorin Fic #Is it hot in here?#Romance #Richard Armitage

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b00inazkaban · 7 months

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4: Benedict Bridgerton - OverStim

5: Pete Mitchell "Maverick" - Age Gap

6: Raphael - Voice Kink

7: Thorin Oakenshield - Thigh Riding

8: Carlisle & Esme Cullen - Brat taming

9: Haymitch Abernathy - Facefucking

10: Lucifer Morningstar - Sir kink + cockwarming

11: Ruffnut + Tuffnut - OverStim, Edging, & Nipple play

12: Peter B. Parker - Free Use!!!!

13: (OC) - Breath Play + Mask Kink

14: Fruity Four - Recording/Sextape

15: Loki + Size Kink (m reader)

16: andy barber, spanking (male reader)

17:

18:

19:

20:

21:

22:

23:

24:

25:

26:

27:

28:

29:

30:

31:

Send in a character and a kink! (I’m preparing this early!)

#b00inazkaban #fanfiction #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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goldandlights · 4 months

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SPOILERS FOR ROP BELOW!

Finished Rings of Power and yeah like

It's not the new LotR, it's got some weird bits in it (begging for Galadriel character growth, she's such a fucking brat) but overall I enjoyed it?

The majority of characters are interesting and their side-plots fun to watch. Adoring the dwarves and harfoots as well as larval-Gandalf. Really invested in the Numenor storyline (Queen Miriel, my love) and enjoyed most plot-twists.

Points deducted for:

Not enough horses

Not enough traveling/information about time progression (elven jetpacks? Rings get created during coffee break?)

Plus Weird Bits that just did not feel right

Plot-device dudes following larval-Gandalf?

Galadriel having a crush on Sauron hhhhhhhh

Idk how I feel about the Balrog being woken like that. When Disa made her little speech (essentially) about waiting for During IVs dad to die so they can mine as much as they like, I was hoping for it to seed a longer "Durin and Disa are lovely Dwarves but good lords do they make bad choices" Thorin-style descent into greedy madness with like, warring fractions within the population. Something more significant than a leaf being dropped into garbage disposal.

Regarding Galadriel, I'm feeling somewhat on the fence. Does she piss me off? Yes. Is she also completely different from book-canon/other adaptations? Yes. Do I struggle to see how she will make the turn to that canon Galadriel? Yes. But lbr LotR/canon Galadriel would be the most undynamic, unrelatable and boring main character in history. I presume that her being the main character was non-optional for promotional/etc. reasons, so... big character arc it is. I hope. Please.

Looking forward to the 2nd season tho!

#lotr rop #late-night waffling #lotr rop spoilers

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swhatever · 2 years

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kinktober ‘22

Heya lovelies! We are happy to announce that we will be participating in kinktober! We will be using our own masterlist because mod Padfoot wanted to be quirky and different (fuck you padfoot <3). Characters and posts will be updated throughout the month <3

All will be gn!reader. Warnings will be given if they’re Afab or Amab

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

P = mod Padfoot M = mod Moony

1.Choking - Robert ''Bob'' Floyd (p)

2. Dom/sub - Sub!Thorin Oakenshield (m)

3. Edging/Ruined - Robert ''Bob'' Floyd (p)

4. Praise - Frank Castle (m)

5. Hair pulling - Sirius Black (p)

6. Impact play - Legolas (m)

7. Overstim - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw (p)

8. Bondage - Aragorn (m)

9. Spanking - (p)

10. Voyeurism - Marlene McKinnon (m)

11. Hate sex - Jake "Hangman" Seresin (p)

12. Blindfolds - Boromir (m)

13. Dacryphillia - Sirius Black (p)

14. Dirty talk - Nikolai Lantsov (m)

15. Toys - (p)

16. Mirror - (m)

17. Collaring - (p)

18. Breeding - (m)

19. Size - (p)

20. Lingerie - Alina Starkov (m)

21. Temperature - (p)

22. Teasing - (m)

23. Shower/Bath - (p)

24. Quickie - (m)

25. Voice - (p)

26. Marking - (m)

27. Sadism/masochism - (p)

28. Glove - (m)

29. First time - (p)

30. Daddy kink/Brat taming - (p)

31. Aftercare - Jily (m)

(can you tell when chronic fatigue kicked moonys ass cause they definitely can)

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

#kinktober #kinktober 22 #masterlist #kinktober masterlist #moony #moony writes #padfoot #padfoot writes

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madamebaggio · 2 years

Photo

Notes: Previously...

As this chapter was already done I’ve decided to post it, so at least you all can enjoy it.

Smut alert! (Finally lol)

***

Chapter 16

Rivendell, June 13, 2941

Miss Baggins was doing something.

Well, of course she was, because she was a living hobbit, and he was sure living hobbits did a lot of things, but…

That was not it!

It was something different, because she was nowhere to be found every morning. She would always turn up for lunch, and then she’d read or talk to them for the rest of the day, but never in the mornings.

The first morning she went ‘missing’, Glóin had suggested she might be sleeping in. However, Dori was the one who pointed out that Bluebell had been an early riser all this time, and it seemed highly unlikely that she would sleep in this much.

Dwalin was the one who noticed she seemed pained during their forth night there. She was careful as she moved and more than once they saw her massaging her own shoulders.

Óin then noticed she was tired. She was going to sleep earlier than before when they were on the road.

“She is waking up very early to practice with her sword.” Nori said one night.

They all turned to him. “How can you be so sure?” Fíli wanted to know.

“Because I followed her yesterday.”

“Is she alone?” Balin wanted to know.

“No. There are two elves with her.” Nori informed the others. “They do not seem to be teaching her how to fight as much as they are teaching her how to survive.”

“Why did you not say something before?” Bofur asked.

“Because you did not ask.”

And that was when they realised they’d never asked her as well.

That was how Thorin found himself the next morning going to where Nori said Bell was training.

He found her easily, because she wasn’t hiding. She was out in the open, in a place where anyone could walk by, with two elves. In fact, there were some elves who were obviously there just to watch the trio. Thorin was almost sure those were Elrond’s brats.

“One more time, Miss Bell!” One of them said, as she picked up her sword.

Thorin watched from a distance as one of them grabbed her by her coat and tried to lift her off the ground.

It became quite clear that their objective was to teach her how to decently defend herself. It made sense -she’d never become a fighter in a few days.

They were showing her how to use her size to her advantage and how to use simple tricks to escape from the enemy.

Mostly, what she did was hit them and run. And Thorin actually approved of this technique. She wouldn’t be able to fight an orc on her own; the best she could do was run and hide.

He didn’t want to admit that the elves had the right idea, but…

Fuck it. He wasn’t admitting anything.

***

Bluebell had just closed the door behind herself when there was a knock on it.

She frowned as she turned around and opened the door. “Thorin?”

He cleared his throat. “May I talk to you for a minute?”

She seemed ready to say no, but then she sighed and gave him space to enter the room. “What can I do for you?”

“Why did you not mention you were learning with the elves?” He asked as soon as the door closed behind him.

She frowned for a minute, then seemed to realise what he was talking about. “Do you mean Elladan and Elrohir?”

It was Thorin’s turn to frown and he could frown like nobody else. “You seem close.”

Bell rolled her eyes. “I have been meeting them quite often.”

“Are they teaching you well?” He wanted to know.

Bell hesitated for a minute, as if she wasn’t sure where this conversation was going. “I believe so. I will not know for a fact until it is too late.”

“That is how we all find out.” He sighed. “Are you hurt?”

Now she seemed even more confused. “Not really. I was in pain the first few days, but now I am used to it.”

“Good.”

“Did you come here just to ask that?”

Thorin arched an eyebrow at her. “Why else would I be here?”

And that… Made her want to get a reaction out of him.

She hummed, putting her hands behind her back, and bouncing a bit on her feet. “So you are not here out of jealousy?”

Thorin snorted. “Jealousy? Because of two elves? Hardly.”

She hummed, as if she didn’t believe him at all. “Perhaps you think I am in cahoots with them.”

“Even more unlikely.”

His immediate answer shocked her. “How so?” He could see she was genuinely curious.

“You are too honest for that.” He replied sincerely. “You would never be in cahoots with anyone.” He might not know Mistress Baggins that well, but this was quite clear to him.

She grinned at him. “Now you are just trying to charm me again.”

That caught his attention.

“Again?” He spoke carefully, as if his interest in the word was casual.

She had the nerve to grin at him. “Have you forgotten? I thought dwarves had better memories than that.”

“My memory is excellent.” He grumbled. “I remember everything.” Thorin cleared his throat. “I just did not know you had been charmed.”

She took two steps in his direction, coming closer. “Why would I have lain with you if not for your quite distinctive charm?” She asked, her arm stretching, until just her fingers brushed the fur of his coat.

“I might have asked myself that question a few times.” He murmured derisively.

“If I found you charming?” She asked, frowning, her fingers still dancing on his coat.

“Why you chose me.” He clarified.

Bell’s fingers paused, as she tilted her head back, her eyes full of disbelief. “Why? Are you unaware of how attractive you are?”

Thorin snorted. “So that was the reason?”

He watched in surprise, as she put both her hands flat on his chest. “At first.” She admitted. Her little hands slid up his chest, and Thorin was unable to move. “I saw you and those pretty eyes of yours, and I wanted to get closer.” Her hands reached his shoulder and pushed his coat down them.

Thorin let it fall carelessly to the ground, his eyes fixed on her. “And then?” He prompted.

She took a step closer, her body barely brushing up against his. “Then I felt safe next to you.”

Thorin wanted to push further, ask more, but her hands were undoing his belt. “What are you doing?”

She didn’t pause on her task. “Undressing you.”

“Why?”

Her look made it quite clear it wasn’t a smart question.

He sighed. “It is not a good idea.”

“You can tell me to stop.” She said honestly, even as she discarded his belt by his coat.

“I should.” He spoke softly.

Her hands grabbed the end of his tunic. “So?” She asked, no pressure in her tone. An honest question.

Thorin finally allowed himself to touch her, cupping her face. “How can you be such a temptress?”

Her laughter was full of amazement. “Me? A temptress?” She was grinning at him. “You are such a sweet talker, Thorin Oakenshield.” Then she proceeded to push his tunic up, until Thorin helped her remove it completely. “Even when you are full of it.” She finished once the tunic was also discarded.

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Full of it? Do you think I do this often?”

“If you did, maybe you would not be so tense.” She nodded towards his boots and Thorin toed them off, only realising what he’d done when he was left in his trousers in front of the mostly-dressed hobbit.

He didn’t know how she’d managed to do this, but there he was. “Now what?” He asked.

“Now…” Bell pulled at the laces of his pants. “Kindly go lie down on that big bed so I can make you less tense.”

Thorin sighed. “I should not.”

“Perhaps. But will you?” She touched his hip bone with just her fingertips, his pants fighting against gravity to stay where they were.

“Have I told you that you are bossy?”

“It has been mentioned.” She replied absent-mindedly, her fingers following the line of the closest tattoo -Thorin remembered she’d been quite fascinated by them before.

He stopped her hand before she could reach his nipple. “I am a king. I do not have to take your orders.”

She arched an eyebrow at him, perhaps because she knew he was full of shit. “It was not an order. I did ask very politely.”

Polite indeed. “And how do you plan on making me less tense?” He asked, courting madness.

She leaned forward, like she was about to share a secret with him. “With my mouth.”

“Burglar.” He growled.

“Master Oakenshield.” She threw back cheekily.

“You are trying to drive me mad.”

She pushed his pants down. “Not exactly my plan.”

Thorin pulled her to him, her head already tilted up for a kiss. He sunk his fingers in her hair, tangled his tongue to hers, and kissed her until she was panting against his mouth.

“Bed.” She ordered, voice breathless and cheeks red.

Thorin knew he’d do it, even if he knew-deep down- it was a bad idea and it’d only lead to heartache.

What he felt for Bluebell Baggins and what she felt for him were two completely different things. As a matter of fact, he didn’t know what she felt, had no idea. She enjoyed his company in bed -clearly- and she was more than willing to keep doing that.

But what else? After all was said and done, after the pleasure, what was left?

So, yes, there was only heartache waiting for him when it came to her and yet he was powerless to refuse her.

He climbed onto the bed, naked, and rested his back against the headboard, then watched as she took off her clothes, leaving only her shift on. She got onto the bed and crawled to him, until she was above him, their bodies barely touching.

“Why are you still dressed?” Thorin wanted to know.

“Because we are focusing on you right now.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips, but Thorin was having none of it.

He put his hand on her nape and pulled her mouth firmly against his for a deep, filthy kiss.

Bell pulled back, laughing breathlessly. “Behave, Master Dwarf.”

“No.” He pulled her for another kiss.

This time he didn’t let her go and her body finally melted against his, covering him like a blanket. His hands slid down her waist, grabbing her arse and squeezing it.

Bell moaned into his mouth, pressing her body more firmly onto his. His cock was pressing against her stomach, but her shift was between them. Thorin pulled it up, until he could touch her skin. His fingers followed the trail of naked skin until he found her cunt.

“You are wet.” He sounded way too smug.

“Enough of that.” She pushed his hands away. “I have plans, and you will not distract me from them.”

“I might not survive your plans.”

She dropped a kiss to his throat. “You are tougher than that.”

He could only watch -fascinated- as she made her way down his body, dropping kisses as she went, until she was kneeling between his legs.

“Take it off.” His voice was wrecked. “Please.”

“Since you asked so politely…” She pulled her shift up and up, until she was completely free of it.

Thorin had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

“Come back here.” He growled.

“No.” She wrapped her small hand around his cock. “You are not giving me orders now.” She pumped his cock.

“Mistress…”

“Bluebell.” She cut him, her hold on him firmer. “You do know my name. Feel free to use it.” She then lowered her head and dropped a peck to the head of his cock.

“Bluebell.” His voice didn’t resemble anything he’d ever heard.

“Better.” She cooed.

If Thorin was a lesser dwarf, just that would have undone him. However, he knew that this was just the beginning of the torture she had in store for him.

She used her smart tongue on him, and Thorin’s blood boiled with passion. He couldn't take his eyes off her, as she licked him with great concentration. He grabbed at the sheets when she ran her tongue from base to tip, before enveloping the head of his cock with her lips and sucking gently.

“Bell…” His voice was wrecked, he was wrecked.

“Yes?” She asked politely, like she wasn’t using her mouth to kill him.

“Please.”

“You do not have to beg, Thorin.” She told him softly, before lowering her mouth to him once again.

This time she took him in, deep into her mouth and Thorin’s mind went blank for a minute. She couldn’t take all of him into her mouth, but she was undaunted by the fact. Her hand was still wrapped around the base of him, pumping as well.

He could feel her tongue caressing his cock, her lips tightly wrapped around him, the suction of her mouth… His hold on the sheets became even stronger, as he feared touching her might make her disappear like a dream.

Thorin watched as her head and hand moved on him, and he could feel the heat of her mouth and her tongue. He could feel her hair brushing against his thighs, her naked skin so close…

She took him particularly deep and he snapped. “Come here.” He demanded. “I want to finish with you.” It did come out too much like an order, but he was too close and he didn’t want it to finish like this.

The minx was slow to release him and move up his body, until she could straddle his waist. “And you have the nerve to call me bossy.” She grinned, before leaning forward, and kissing his mouth -slow and dirt.

Thorin let her kiss him as she wished, his hands cupping her face. He could feel the heat of her against him, and that he couldn’t resist. His hand found her cunt and he sunk a finger easily into her, pumping it gently in and out.

Bluebell closed her eyes and hummed, her body moving sluggishly, before she shook her head. “Stop interfering with my plans.” She demanded, pushing his hand away.

“Your plans seem to take too long.” He commented, his hand reaching for her again.

Bluebell rolled her eyes and batted his hand away before moving into a better position to take him. Understanding what she intended, Thorin helped her get into place. He grabbed a hold of his cock to help her guide it into place, his eyes focused on where they were about to be joined.

She manoeuvred until he was in position, then sank into him carefully, and he could feel her trembling as she did it. Bell took him slowly in, her cunt gripping him tightly -just as he remembered it -her body opening up to receive him.

She unhurriedly lowered herself until he was fully inside her, making her skin flushed, her breath irregular.

Thorin had dreamed about their night together more times than he wanted to admit. Since reuniting with her, pretending he couldn’t remember those moments had become even harder. It wasn’t just because her body seemed made to take his or because her passion was a thing of beauty; there was something in Bluebell Baggins that made his blood sing.

Whatever else he believed in, he knew this was right. It was not just about sex and pleasure, it was much more than that.

Maybe he wouldn’t feel this way if he had only seen her that time in Bree, but now that she was here again, Thorin didn’t know if he’d be able to let go.

“Bell…” He reached for her.

“No.” Bell chided gently and pushed him back when he tried to sit up. “You stay right there.” She leaned forward and dropped a kiss to his lips, before running her hands down his torso.

“Do your worst, Burglar.” He challenged her.

She smirked… Then she started to move. Without any hurry, like they had all the time in the world, like there was nothing but them. Her eyes held him -completely shamelessly- as she moved her hips, as she took him as deep as he could go inside her.

Thorin’s hands went to her hips, but he didn’t take over. He let her keep her pace, his hands merely caressing her, just feeling the softness of her skin, needing to know this was no dream.

Bell arched her back, putting her hands on his thighs for support. Thorin’s hands crawled up her body, cupping her tits, giving them a squeeze.

Bell sighed. “I love your hands on me.”

“I love having my hands on you.” He confessed hoarsely, his right hand going low, finding her nub, circling it.

Bell’s head fell back, her hips moving faster. “Thorin…”

Her breath came in pants, his name sounding like a prayer. Now both got a bit impatient; his caresses became more insistent and her rhythm became desperate.

The next time she called his name -so softly, so sweetly -he decided he’d behaved enough. Thorin surged forward, his hands going to her arse in a bruising grip. Bluebell gasped in surprise, then laughed delightedly as he took her mouth. They kissed in a messy, indecent way, teeth clicking together because they could barely breathe.

He kissed her, because he also knew that if he told her everything he felt, she’d go.

“Bell.” He called, as her fingers closed on his hair, and he drank from her moans and the sounds of their love-making.

There was a desperation to her, something she was trying to reach. “Please…” She mewled against his lips.

He brought her down on his cock roughly and it was all it took. Bell gasped loudly, her arms around his neck getting tighter, her cunt clamping hard on him. He knew he could follow her then.

They clung to each other, spent and content.

“And I had almost convinced myself that what happened in Bree was a fluke.” Bell sighed, moving a bit so he slipped out of her.

He snorted. “You do know how to charm a dwarf, Miss Baggins.” Thorin leisurely peppered kisses on her shoulder and neck.

Bell chuckled, letting her head fall back to give him more access. “I have a talent, Master Dwarf.”

Thorin suddenly tumbled her on the bed, making her squeal in laughter. “You have many talents, Miss Baggins.” He said against her neck, even as he hooked her leg on his hip.

“I can see you appreciate them, but do you not need a minute?”

Thorin arched an eyebrow at her. “Have you forgotten, Mistress Baggins, that endurance is the mark of a dwarf?”

She grinned in delight. “Oh trust me, I do remember. Very enduring folk.” Her hand sneaked in between them, closing around his cock, which was already hardening again. “What do they say? Carved from stone?”

This was going to be another long night…

#madame baggio #crackship #fanfiction #posted on AO3 #genderbender #AU #my gif #I really decided to do one just because I couldn't find the perfect one #so yeah #thats actually from vikings #which i never watched before #the hobbit #female bilbo baggins #Thorin Oakenshield #female bilbo x thorin #all paths lead to you

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ao3feed-thehobbit · 2 years

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You Give Love a Bad Name

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/0Hz518r

by Andy_the_idiot

Thorin Durin is pissed off big times. Not only does he have to face his father's grumpy ranting about him not getting accepted to University yet, not only does he have to deal with Thranduil mocking him non-stop from every nook and cranny of the school but now he also has to share a living space for a full month with Thraunduil's little boyfriend and is expected to look after him just because his grandpa and the brat's parents are friends? It was absoloutely absurd! He wasn't going to become a bodyguard to this "Bilbo" who wouldn't stop getting himself in all sorts of trouble throughout Erebor without even lifting a single finger! How was the band going to react? Dwalin would be enraged, Bofur would be mostly concerned and Nori? Well, Nori would most likely be stoned.....as always. But this wasn't the biggest problem Thorin is facing at the moment, because in reality the biggest middle finger he has ever recieved was on it's way, and that would be him falling for this weird preppy brat he was obliged to babysit. How was he even going to mentally survive through this horrid excuse of a month?

Words: 2013, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, Dwalin (Tolkien), Nori (Tolkien), Bofur (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien), Balin (Tolkien), Dori (Tolkien), Bifur (Tolkien), Ori (Tolkien), Bombur (Tolkien), Óin (Tolkien), Glóin (Tolkien), Frerin (Tolkien), Dís (Tolkien), Thráin II, Thráin II's Wife, Belladonna Took, Bungo Baggins, Original Characters, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Gandalf | Mithrandir, Galadriel | Artanis, Elrond Peredhel, Thrór (Tolkien), Bofur's Hat

Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s), (past one-sided) Bilbo Baggins/Thranduil, (mentioned) Bard the Bowman/Thranduil, Thorin Oakenshield & Dwalin & Nori & Bofur, Bungo Baggins/Belladonna Took, Thráin II/Thráin II's Wife

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Oblivious Thorin, Sassy Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Feels, Nori is a Little Shit, Bofur is a Sweetheart, Bofur's Hat - Freeform, Protective Dwalin, Balin Is So Done, Mother Hen Dori (Tolkien), Thráin Being an Asshole, but regrets it, Asshole Thranduil, Eventual Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin has a crush on Bilbo, and Bilbo feels the same, the Orcrist is a heavy metal band, metalhead AU, De-Aged Characters, Kili & Fili don't exist yet, since Dís is a child, Erebor is a city in England, Gandalf is the only one who remembers, Sort of Graphic Smut, Drug Use, Singer Thorin, Guitarist Nori, Drummer Dwalin, Bass Player Bofur, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/0Hz518r

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #the hobbit

0 notes

ao3feed-tolkien · 2 years

Text

You Give Love a Bad Name

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/KeYg5Wt

by Andy_the_idiot

Words: 2013, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/KeYg5Wt

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Tolkien #JRR Tolkien #Tolkien works #ao3 #fan fiction

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celeste-clearwater-06 · 3 years

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Random Headcanons (Thorin's Company)

In celebration of reaching 100 followers, I've decided to write these completely random headcanons right off the top of my head! These are just little cute and strange oddities each character would have!! (Featuring our favorite character, Y/N 😌💗)

Fair warning, this turned out WAY LONGER than expected, so just be prepared 😅

Please like and reblog if you enjoy it!!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Okay, lets just start off by agreeing...

Kili hates spiders

Like, just a deep-seated hatred for those things

And the ones in Mirkwood gave him serious PTSD

But he especially despises the little ones that crawl all over you, up in your hair

Any time he sees one its just-

"FilifilifILIGETITAWAY FROM ME!!"

And everyone's just laughing at him while he's on the brink of tears 😂😂💀

Kili doesn't really scream, more like a gasp of disgust

HOWEVER-

Fili does scream

And he secretly has a super high pitched scream

And although he does a reasonable job at pitching it down when he's aware...

There are occasions where the older brother will let one slip and he's teased so badly for it 💀

There was one instance where Fili threw a daddy long leg at Kili, which made him yell

Then proceeded to shriek at the top of his lungs when he tripped over a fucking log while trying to run away 😂

And by hearing it, you and the company thought it was a woman in distress, come barreling over, weapons drawn and war faces on

Nope, just Fili who tripped over a dead tree 🙄

Honestly, nobody believed it was him at first

Also, let's just say, canonically, that you dropped out of the sky into middle Earth (like literally every x reader fic on this platform)

And are a part of Gen Z

And let me tell you, teaching the company Gen Z slang is a BALL

The one's who use it the most are surprisingly Dwalin and Gloin 😂😂😂

Most of the time they just say it if you ask them to because they want to learn all about your world and "unique language"

Because let's be honest, hearing Dwalin say

"Shawty???? wHOT ON ARTH ISSAT SUPPOSED TA MEAN?!!1?"

DEAD-

Or even Thorin sometimes

"Bruh? I'm afraid I do not understand..."

pLEASE tell Bilbo and Bombur that their food is 'bussing' 😂

"I'm sorry... It's what?"

And speaking of teaching things...

You and Bofur have an epic handshake 😎💜

It was something you taught him in the span of a few days, and he learned very quickly

It never fails to impress the company (Thorin pretends not to 🙄✋, but he's the most impressed out of everyone)

You and Bofur are like the 'cool uncle' and 'favorite cousin' if you catch my drift

He can be a terrible influence on some of the young ones, and you are everyone's favorite 😂

Also, just to add something for Bofur, I think he would be an ABSOLUTE GOD at making shadow puppets

Ya know, almost everyone can do the basics like a rabbit and dog, but this dwarf can make crazy shit like a deer, butterflies, he even did AZOG a few times

Don't even ask me how 😳

So completely different subject, but now let's just talk about our 2 favorite grandpa's, Gandalf and Balin 😌💗

I have a secret about them....

They have a club

And what about, you may ask?

Shipping the member of their company

Now these two have been around longer than anyone else in their travelling party, so they are not oblivious to young blossoming romance

Typically they don't talk about it that much, but whenever they catch you and your love interest, whoever it may be, flirting or lightening up at the mention of each others names

These two just share glances, smile, maybe roll their eyes at your obliviousness

Something like;

Gandalf: " 😏'

Balin: "😌"

And NOBODY EVEN KNOWS (well, maybe you do, but you've decided not to tell anyone)

These two are the definition of subtle hints

And you've dubbed it "The Romance Grandpa's"

And they just laugh at it, but think it suits very well, though they insist it's not a club, just a 2 part insight

Elrond may have even gotten in on it too 😂

So everyone knows that the Company loves stories

Whether it be telling or listening, they are just in love

So, when they get tired of listening to the same old tale of Smaug claiming Erebor, they turn to you,

who just so happens to have an endless supply of Disney and fantasy movies locked in your brain by childhood memories

So ofc, you're going to tell them all about princes, princesses, magic, etc.

Their personal favorites are The Princess Bride and Beauty and The Beast

Were very confused about Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,

So now Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Dwalin WILL NOT STOP SINGING "HI-HO"

Just walking along the trail to Erebor, those four are singing, and Gloin has decided to add wHISTLING TO THE MIX

Thorin has lost it 😭💀

Okay, so everyone knows that Ori is more than exceptional at art

I mean, he's just so talented with his hand in drawing and painting

I feel like he would write some form of fanfiction as well

Ya know, maybe not like x reader stuff, but just sweet little fluffy stories about him and the fair dwarrow/dwarrowdam he fell in love within the blue mountains 🥴💗

(Or about him and you, given the circumstances 😉)

I also feel that Bilbo and Dori are secretly very good at art, they just haven't really discovered it yet!

Maybe Bilbo, at drawing his home, the plants he grows in his garden or the occasional bluebird that will perch on his window in the morning

And Dori would just make beautiful paintings of his brothers, more drawn towards things like scenery (lakes forests etc.)

Now, a while back, I had a list of headcanons that included characters who would have their nails painted (per the anti toxic-masculinity movement)

But I feel that I could have added more characters, say Ori, Bofur and most certainly Bilbo

ESPECIALLY ORI

He just lives the color, the shine, maybe even the smell of nail polish, and watching you concentrate on painting them 🥺

And he's also VERY good at painting your nails as well, so that's a win-win

Speaking of beauty...

every

single

one

of these boys are suckers for flower crowns

It doesn't matter if they pretend not to, grumble, complain when you put the crowns on their head,

THEY LOVE FLOWER CROWNS 💐

Forever and always

You, Fili, Kili, Dori, and Ori are usually the ones making them near the campfire or in the road when you see a bundle of them as you pass

And Thorin just nods his head, maybe rolls his eyes, and smirks whenever you give one to him (#dramaking)

Dwalin just "hmphs"

Gandalf smiles and thanks you (#1 grandpa, next to Balin 😌)

And Bifur really appreciates flower crowns as well

Teaching bofur how to make flower crowns 😩

It's like a little craft club on a rainy day!! (And Nori loves it more than anything since it keeps Mother Hen Dori occupied, rather than bossing him around 🙄)

Now let's focus on the leader of our company, since he needs his spotlight!

Thorin is AMAZING at getting/making gifts for people

I don't even know how, but he is!!

You know how he never let go of that grudge with the fucking Mirkwood elves?

Yeah, that memory of his comes in handy when it comes to birthdays and Holidays (Durin's Day for example)

One day, you had been feeling stories of home, and how you dearly missed your old stuffed animal

So on your birthday, Thorin had asked for help from the company to gather their supplies and skills together

And made you a new one 😩💜🥺

Dori sewed, Dwalin hunted for the fur, Bofur made it a little wooden hat, Fili and Kili put little braids on the top of its head, Ori gave it a little bow of ribbon

And so, on your next birthday, they all presented you with this ADORABLE lion stuffed animal and you just fUCKING CRIED, HOLY SHIT-

All in all, the company may have some quirks, some oddities, yes

But their your company

And that means they'll forever love you, and you them

Because that's what family's for 💗💗

(And throwing spiders at Kili 😈💗)

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