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svajonesblog · 3 months

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Look at my eyes ➶۪ ｡˚

Characters : Lee Minho x gang member fem!reader

Tw : gang activity, Minho is written as a softie drugs angst knives blood happy ending, swearing a lot of it

Minho is addicted to you he knew he was the way he will trace over your touch never taking off the necklace you gave him, waiting for your texts ،staying up late with you on the phone , and he loves how you spoiled him you will never say no to him he was such a softie around you wanting to be taking care of by you only you he never liked feeling like he was owned but to feel owned by you that’s a feeling that he will die for

. You are so fucking. good at what you do

Ever since Minho met you 2 years ago ,a rush was added to his life you made everything so much more fun so much more energetic, he found himself easily comfortable around you. Everyone did his members his family his friends you were just that type person you know ? everyone had fun around you ! You’re full of life you were doing what you love the most

He met you at a park when he ran away from society after a long day of work, he sat at the park bench at 2 AM thinking about life

when he heard a unfamiliar voice ,He looked up feeling his breath catching in his throat you were stunning , your hair was down you were wearing jeans sports bra and a cropped sleeveless jean jacket showing your stunning figure and was covered in tattoos all over your arm and neck your cap hiding most of your face and he could tell how much of a jewelry lover you were judging by the amount of chains rings and piercings you had . It was summer the weather was so hot outside yet this rush of cold air hit him in the face when you spoke “ are you okey dude ? You shouldn’t be out at this hour by yourself yk ? “ you said walking closer to him “ i could ask you the same “ he said backing away “chill I’m not going to hurt you that’s not what I do to pretty boys “ he could help the blush that crept to his face “ I’m just thinking about things “

“Damn life is being a bitch and fucking everyone up lately huh ?”

He chuckled at that “yeah that’s one way to put it “

“ wait… aren’t you that Lee Minho dude for the band stray kids “

“Y-yeah that’s me “

“ holy shit are you just going to set there you’re lucky I wasn’t some crazy person that will make one hell of a news headline “

“ didn’t really know where to go “

“ fellow me there is a bar I work at across the park I’ll keep you company until you need to leave “

Usually he would have been on his way by now but something about just didn’t let him leave just yet he fallowed you with so much ease it scared him you entered the bar and sat in table that was far away from the others and went ahead and ordered some drinks for the both of you “ hope you like the place “ taking a look around it was quite empty people probably left already the music that was playing was early 2000s songs the lights were off just some led lights here and there “ yeah it looks nice “ just as your drinks were there taking a sip of his own ( after looking at it for a while to make sure it had nothing in it ) he jumped hearing you y’all at the guy who was on the dj set “ you better not mess my shit up minjun drink you fruity drinks in the bar “ as fast as you spoke the guy ran back to the bar stools “you play music here ?” He asked “yeah funny enough I used to want to be an idol “ and your conversation sparked from there he went home at 6 am that day (after fighting with you over the bill that you paid for at the end ,he found himself coming back to you every night after that even tho he always thought to himself that this is bad he can’t be seen with you you’re so much different from him fans will freak out if they saw him with you but the way you just took care of him made him weak in the knees he just had to be around you

every sign of the “ tough Lee Minho “disappeared he was just your soft cat/dance/food loving friend,well …he eventually leveled up to be your boyfriend

Back to today:

On Fridays you don’t work so you spend all day at home relaxing as you told him before so usually when he gets home at 10 pm he’ll find you there waiting for me today he wanted to surprise by coming home at 8 but to his surprise he doesn’t find you there

“ well that’s weird she didn’t text me she going to be out “

he texts you and wait around changing his clothes and getting comfy in your couch staring out of the huge windows that had a full view of the city your cat “ace” on his lap watching tv until the clock hit 9:50 pm he heard the sound of the code to your apartment being punched in he looks at his phone seeing that you haven’t read his texts so he reaches to the front door only to find you holding a cloth over your hand blood all over it you mouth had a cut in it to “ Minho ? What are you doing here ? “ you said as you finally noticed him “the fuck happened to you “ he said leading you to the kitchen taking the aid kit and helping you clean up “it’s just a couple of bruises and cuts baby boy I’ll be fine “ you said trying to make him feel at ease “ y/n you’re bleeding what do you mean it’s nothing ?!” He yelled at you you kept quiet and headed to shower as he waited for you he saw your duffel bag sitting by the door he doesn’t know what got to him but he went and started going through it and he wish so bad that he didn’t it was filled with cash , racing gear, drugs,pocket knife , bags of pills that’s didn’t have names on them cigarettes he looks down in horror at all of them “y/n what actually are you” he heard the water stop and he runs back to his spot on the couch next to your cat you come out of the shower in long black shorts and tank top you head your kitchen first grabbed a shot cup filled it with alcohol and put it on your eyebrow piercing a part from your routine for it to not get infected you could feel his eyes on you since your kitchen and living room where in the same space “ why are you looking at me like that ?” She asked leaning on the kitchen counter “what are you ?” He asked the “tough “ side of him was put in use for the first time around “ y/n? your girlfriend remember?” The reply only got on his nerves more actually “ no I mean what ARE YOU ? What do you actually do y/n ? You’re not just a dj are you ? “

“ min baby what are you sa-“

“Don’t lie I saw your bag “

“You went through my bag”

“Yes now answer “

The room fall silent for a few minutes

“ I’m in a gang okey ? but listen it’s not as bad as you think it is ”

“ how the fuck is being in a gang not bad ?”

“ listen it’s just what my share of life was okey? this is what’s best for me ”

“What’s best for you is doing illegal shit ? Getting in trouble with the law ? I thought you want to art school?”

“ yeah i did go to art school b-“

“ I thought you wanted to make music but I guess that’s a lie too !”

“ no it’s not I actually like what I do baby listen let me explain to you “

“Explain what ?! that all this time when I thought that you are just busy in the bar I thought you were safe thought that you were loyal thought that this relationship was actually something! You were actually out there doing god knows what it is you do ? ”

“What does me being in gang have to do with anything about our relationship “

“ It has everything to do with it !!! Y/n I showed you everything that I am I let you do whatever ever you want with me I was like an idiot giggling like a fool when you were around me I trusted you! my friend my members my family trusted you I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner you’re coming home late at night so I thought you were working but the bar is closed in the morning so I don’t what the hell you were out doing the bloody tissues in the trash, the new cuts everyday you said it was just an accident at work I believe because you worked around drunk people ,you smelling like cigarettes ! the money! did you steal the gifts you gave me ? Did you even love me ? You played me like a fucking fool for 2 years ?!“

“Can you just shut the fuck up ?” He was caught off by the sound of glass shattering as you threw the cup to the floor. “ I’m sorry ok? I’m sorry that I’m a fuck up . that I didn’t have anyone to love me and guide me to do better,but don’t you say that I never loved you ! I loved you more than love it self you think I want this, you’re a fucking idol I’m in a gang i wanted to tell you but I lied to you because I didn’t want you to leave me i couldn’t lose you i lied knowing this was going to be your reaction you can leave me if you want I’m not stopping you but just so you know I was real with you ! Yes I lied to you but besides this lie ? every kiss hug compliment every moment and even when we mad love that shit was real Minho

Storming to your bedroom and slamming the door behind you Minho sat there in shock from you yelling at him sat there with the guilt of you actually being right you never hurt him you were so good to him gifts dates late night drives all of it you did it All for him you made love to him so sweetly he was left feeling like he is floating after words your there for him during shows interviews tours you’re proud of him for just breathing you found and made him one of your own

He looks at the clock in the kitchen and sees it was almost mid night “shit have we been fighting that long?” He grabs his stuff and leaves hoping that some space will clear both of your thoughts he leaves a note behind him tho informing you that he just wants a moment and he doesn’t want this to be the end and loves you and is sorry for what was said

Thank you guys so much for reader the first part of the “look at my eyes story “ I want to make a different ( I think ) plot were the reader is the mafia / gangster character the second part will come out in couple of hours <3

#kpop #kpop imagines #fanfic #straykids fic #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz #lee know #lee minho #lee know x reader #lee know fluff #lee know fanfic #fem reader #skz x stay #stay

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blade-that-was-broken · 11 days

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How does JD react to meeting his sister in law and niece/ nephews?

I’m going to assume you mean in I’m Still Here

Uhhh… he gets a little spooked. I’m not sure if they entirely warn him that Brandy is a giant but either way, it’s a bit of a jump scare for him.

Not only was he just kidnapped and nearly killed by some giant teenagers but also he’s got that whole… Chef almost killing him thing too. Don’t get me wrong, Vacaytioners are obviously very very different than Bergens or Rageouns but I think considering what he’s been through lately, not entirely unreasonable. He’ll get over it cause like I said, things are different but in the immediate, he might get a bit nervous around Brandy.

But I can't imagine her being NOT understanding about it, considering not only Troll History, but also JD's OWN history, while also coming off having just been held captive by giants. Branch healed from his fear of the Bergens when Poppy befriended the Bergens - and that was a work in progress. JD heals from his fear of giants (in general) with the Vacaytioners (and probably eventually the Bergens).

It's not their size entirely that makes him nervous, although that does play a large part. He's not, generally, scared of large things. But with his history and near death experiences with giants trying to eat him or drain him of his talent...he's got some stuff to work through.

After he gets through things tho, he and Brandy are cool. He's happy for Bruce and it's pretty obvious that they care about each other a lot. Brandy also recognizes some of the things that JD had to do when he was young, realizing that he played a huge role in raising his brothers. She also immediately spots him as Branch's dad. Like, to her, it is obvious he raised Branch entirely and that he sees him a his kid.

For a while at least, he doesn't really talk about that with his brothers, as it's kind of an awkward topic but it's something that he and Brandy end up having conversations about.

They are also great with knives and good cooks!

The kids however? That’s a different story. They aren’t nearly as big and that doesn’t make nearly as much of an impact. JD is good with kids, despite his lack of being around them for quite a few years, but is shows that he is a great uncle. Like, Bruce and Floyd already knew he'd be a great uncle but he just kinda fills into that role easy.

Now, I'm not comparing Bruce's kids to animals in the sense that they are, but their size only. JD is totally okay around large animals with his wilderness and stuff so he's got virtually no qualms about rambunctious kids almost(?)/half the size of Rhonda.

And since he doesn't have to BE a parent in any sense of the world, he can absolutely be that fun uncle, teach them random things, do whatever. idk. But he ends up getting along with them pretty good however a funny thing!

JD talks about his and Branch's adventures and for the longest time the kids think that Branch is their cousin not their uncle. It takes everyone a while to catch on and realize what is happening with that lol.

All in all, he gets there with his relationships with them. I can't say he's not a little surprised that Bruce married someone so tall/giant simply due to their pasts and he may not be the best with social cues but even he can see how much they love and care about each other.

#ask #I'm still here au #I think this is the au you are referring to lol

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lackablazeical · 1 year

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(Different Anon)

I just think it would be really interesting to see the reactions of your characters meeting Canon!Casey Jr where Canon!Mikey sends him to the Addams!AU instead of the original past timeline.

But instead of ending up in the middle of Times Square he just pops into existence in the middle of the Addams!Turtles base.

I mean, it’s pretty well-established that Canon!Casey Jr isn’t really phased by violence or carnage considering he lived in apocalyptic timeline full of war hungry aliens who could possess objects and people. He probably had to witness the weirdest or gore filled things, even end the lives of those who were possessed. And considering he’s a Jone, that also adds to the factor of his numbness to violence.

So here he is, coming out of nowhere, his sensei and family is gone and now he’s in who knows where. Everything he’s looking at in the base is pretty foreign to him and he’s probably in shock after just appearing in a different time and universe. How would everyone react?

MAN ANON YOU ARE HELLA CREATIVE I HAD 2 READ THIS THRU A FEW TIMES TO ABSORB IT/POS

For Casey. Jr, while desensitized to some of their more violent/gorey nature, if we are going by the idea Casey was with the Canon turts, the behavior alone would be a really huge shock for him. I mean, Canon! Mikey would never say a single letter of half of what Addams! Mikey says, Addams! Leo is nowhere near as leaderly as Canon! Leo, need i even explain Raph, etc etc. He'd probably be horrified by how little they care about, well, everything. Hurting eachother/other people, the foot/Krangg threat, etc etc. How they aren't trying to help/prevent anything, that they are pulling knives on him, why the fuck his MENTOR is acting like that.

Leo would preen under the idea of being a leader, just like in Canon. He'd think Casey is just a silly little scrungy, is the best way to describe it. He wouldn't take the kid seriously and entirely just be asking about himself. If Casey yells/gets upset at him, Leo would be all 'ok but your 'better' Leo died and I didn't sooooo? Maybe yours was the pussy here.'

Mikey would love bothering Casey. Saying 'oh would your precious Mikey do THIS?' [Insert loud crashing and screams off camera] tho Mikey would also be super fucking fascinated at the idea he was a mystic warrior and wanna start trying that out. Mostly he just wants to freak/stress Casey out, tho they both like eating rats so little victories

Donnie would want to learn everything about how the Krangg tech worked, how Casey was affected by his diet/changing atmosphere/any residual mold or infection on his armor, etc. He wouldn't care about the kids trauma, he WOULD care about trying to figure out the Key tho. Not to unleash Krangg, but just cus he has the desperate need to know everything. Tho he'd be fascinated (and a little annoyed) that he died. Mikey and Leo would tease him endlessly

Raph would be very annoyed and weirded out by the kid. Why is this random dude sobbing just by looking at him? Hello??? Go away??? Don't touch me???? He probably fully backhanded Casey into a wall or something and Casey just crumpled and cried

He would try to look to April for help and she. Wasn't giving it. She would love all the stories of her being a badass tho. She would probably fiend the turts off of of him tho since she has the ability to read a room, lol

Splints would be like "Oh so THATS what that did" and Casey would just stare. Like. 'EXCUSE YOU? THATS AN APOCALYPSE IN A JAR. A WW3 TO GO???'

Usagi would feel horrible for the kid. He has a weak spot for anyone who is like. Obviously struggling, so he'd probably try to help Casey and Casey. Has no idea who he is. But appreciates the gesture well enough

#addams! tmnt au #rottmnt au #rottmnt movie #rottmnt casey jr #addams! usagi

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abidethetempest · 8 months

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mega 3-in-1 rise and fall retrospective post!

(because i forgot to do them for the last three chapters..... oops) literally one person i think is cool liked my post about bringing these pack and I am Not Immune to peer pressure so I decided to do the ones I missed right away lmao

Chapter 10

As I said in the authors note on this chapter, this one was hard for me. Mainly because I was writing it while working on my conlang and then I got too excited abt the conlang and kinda forgot to write the chapter,,,,, I honestly can't remember if there was anything cool or important I wanted to highlight for this one. Rereading it now, I don't see anything to point out in particular. I mostly had fun writing Risen being kind of a menace with her lack of self preservation, and having Erikses go into mom-mode at the end.

Chapter 11

Aster

oh hey look that guy again. i'm sure he's not gonna cause any problems at all :)

no but in all seriousness, I do really like writing about Aster and how Risen feels about him. It's cool to have him be seen as a very real threat, esp in a game where as the player I feel like this unstoppable murder machine 90% of the time. Risen also has to worry about the lives of the House, who are most definitely not going to get back up if Aster kills them like she does. She's already prone to paranoia when it comes to him, so tapping back into some of her fears after a few chapters of relative peace was refreshing. (For me, anyway, I'm sure it sucked for her.) Excited to show you guys her growth as a character thru dealing w Aster and also to get to the more exciting bits of this arc.

I Wish Erikses Was My Mom

need I say more? Erikses is kind of my favorite character (okay maybeeee she's tied with Aakse tbh) and I just love writing her interactions with Risen. I was concerned that it would feel like her relationship with Risen moves too quickly from "tentative ally/mentor figure" to "i have been adopted this nice crab alien" but I eventually came to my senses and realized this is my fic and I can do whatever I want.

I do honestly feel like this was the right time to have them get closer, and not just because I want to write cute bonding times. I'll probably elaborate on this more in that sidefic I have planned; Erikses is someone who has always wanted to be a mentor and parent figure but it simply never worked out until now. Now Risen is suddenly thrust into her life, and Erikses has come to care about her beyond the initial "honored guest who I owe a great debt to" dynamic.

Writing that hug healed my soul. Erikses is best mom confirmed.

Chapter 12

all caught up now!

The Nightmare

ehehehe I bet I got some of you with that little fakeout huh >:3c sorry not sorry. It wasn't in my outline, but I felt like I wanted to show that, even tho Risen got some nice comfort from her alien mom Erikses last chapter, she's not instantly cured of all fear. But now she has Erikses in her corner if she ever needs someone to remind her its still gonna be okay.

Traveling Songs

A thing that has been in my brain since almost day 1 of this project is the idea of group songs being big in Eliksni culture. Traveling songs are specifically meant to bring good luck on your journey and keep everyone entertained (and awake) during all that damn walking. Also the sound of large groups of people singing together just does something to my brain okay.

Erikses, let me see what you have? A knife! NO!

Everybody's favorite scribe stabs people in her free time, go queen. This cultural detail is another one I've been kicking around for a long time. I think it came more out of the Long Drift than Riisborn Eliksni culture. Everyone needs to know how to fight, because the universe can be an incredibly cruel and hostile place, especially after the Whirlwind. Even scholars like Erikses traditionally are trained in some kind of weapon, tho their skills are usually more focused on self defense.

Risen Can Change Her Knives Now?

This is not a Risen-specific ability! (Actually none of her abilities as a Guardian will ever be hers alone, just a matter of skill, age, and practice.) I headcanon that Guardians can change the form of their Light-based summons (Hunter knives, Titan hammers, Golden Gun, Dawnblades, etc.) to fit their own personal tastes or fighting style. Within reason, ofc-- a Golden Gun will always be a gun, but maybe some Hunters make it a sniper instead. Risen wants her knives to look like Erikses's and in a quiet environment, with time and focus, she can do it. This is a lot harder during a fight, but practice makes perfect.

Embroidery <333

Once again, R&F is secretly just me gushing about every fiber art I know/want to learn forever. Embroidery is one I want to learn real bad; I do cross-stitch already a tiny bit, so I think I could do it in theory, but it just looks like magic to me ughhhh so cool.

Erikses choosing to share her art with Risen is a significant act in Eliksni culture, and somewhat formalizes their teacher-student relationship (we have not gotten to my cultural concept of iksabas yet but when we do I will have so much yelling to do about Erikses and how she makes Risen a member of her family thru the act of sharing her language and her craft with her).

whew okay thats a long boi in the soup but there's three chapters worth of retrospectives!

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny fanfiction #destiny oc #destiny rise and fall au #rise and fall retrospectives

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genderfluidbowl-of-soup · 10 months

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Word vomit abt sheltermbornes role swap au because I cannot get it out of my head

So just as a concept Meryl the Punisher makes me giggle and kick my feet so have this word vomit abt her.

She’s definitely still the headstrong rule following lady we all know and love, she’s just got a massive cross gun that’s almost taller than her now /j. She’s definitely got All the religious trauma and oh my god she is severely fucked up but in an awesomely kick ass and cry in the arms of your definitely not lover way.

She and Nicholas still argue over everything dw. I couldn’t remove that dynamic if I tried (I love it too much)

She thinks Vash is a bit of an idiot (like Milly) but as she gets to know him they actually become really close and totally gossip about everyone together.

With Milly…. Good lord. There is so much here.

*slaps them* these ladies can fit so much trauma and feeling into them.

One, Meryl just thinks milly is really hot (me 2 tbh) and is like “okay so maybe the lady I was contracted to follow isn’t so bad after all” and just *shakes my hands and vibrates* THEM.

Milly is kind of weirded out at first by Meryl’s um everything but like not in a rude way, she just doesn’t know why this woman keeps following her. But she’s pretty so she’s not complaining.

Oh my god the accidental deification from Meryl is gonna be so funny like “My wife is practically god I’m a religious woman holy fuck”

Milly doesn’t get it. But that’s okay.

Meryl and Tesla are WLW hostility. I don’t really know how else to describe it except for that meme that’s like “stop dating my sister” “yknow what I’m gonna date her even harder” yeah. They probably fought in a Wendy’s parking lot.

Meryl fights everyone in a Wendy’s honestly. Or she would, if she wasnt being dragged around by these idiots (affectionate).

*insert image of Meryl and Wolfwood duking it out for unexplained reason while milly and Vash are buying ice cream from the Wendy’s*

I have no brain they’ve taken over it lol

MILLYMERYL IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME I WANT THEM TO BE FUCKED UP AND LEARN FROM EACH OTHER AND BOND AND CRY AND BE MESSY AND JUST LOVE AAAAAAAAAAA

…anyway back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Milly totally just picks up Meryl and holds her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Meryl is tiny, pocket sized nun with a big gun.

Milly could pick everyone up honestly she is built like a shit brickhouse. (Buff milly truther)

Vashwood is a thing it’s just background because I love them but it is about the LADIES.

Knives is at space Costco and pissed about it he shows up like once and idk where to go with that.

Maybe he and Meryl fight in the parking lot idk

Why am I making Meryl fight everyone in a parking lot I swear she is not this chaotic

Wolfwood would fight someone in a parking lot in canon and in this canon tho

Tesla goes to space Costco because Zaizie said it would be good for her to “touch grass” and she just stands there awkwardly and leaves after like 10 minutes with stuff she didn’t even come for. Idk I want Tesla to be this bad bitch but then she’s also like “how do I normal life please help”

Milly and Vash bonded over being the biggest sweet tooths known to mankind. I love their friendship sm it’s one of my favorites.

Tesla does have 2000’s music taste and by that I mean she got introduced to it by Rem and that was the biggest mistake Rem made. (Based off that one ask that I love to bits)

Team fuck around and find out is back in business and we love to see it.

Wolfwood totally is on the edge of getting fired and Milly probably is the only thing making sure he keeps his job.

Anyway Milly is still the silliest.

“The horrors are inevitable but we stay silly! ✌️😃” -Milly and Vash (probably)

I love chaotic dumbass energy.

Pushing the chess master milly agenda because it would be awesome.

Wait shit what if Tesla taught her how to play and she always lost to her big sister and swore to one day beat her and right when she thought she had it all down the ship crash happened and oh shit the angst whoops

Rem gets mom of the year award again because I love Rem that’s it that’s the meme.

I really don’t have any other thoughts but they’re just so good omfg amazing food here my guy.

#trigun

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levis-petras · 3 years

Note

hi, sher! for the rivetra prompt (i promise this is not nsfw okay):

petra and levi cleaning an old room together and accidentally locking themselves inside 😚

hi Anya!! i am so sorry took so long but here you go! 💖✨This is set at that old castle in Wall Rose after Trost was invaded! 👀

Word Count: 993

Rating: T

* * *

The sound of the door slamming shut echo around the room, and Petra jerks at her spot. The rags in her hand slap limply against the grimy windows, and she turns, blinking rapidly.

“What the fuck?”

“Captain?”

Captain Levi is glowering furiously at the door as he jams his knee agitatedly against the wooden boards. “This damn door is stuck.”

Petra tugs the kerchief down from her face. “Did you try the handle?”

Her captain throws her one of his filthiest glares. He curls his lip. “Yes, Ral. Of course, I tried the fucking handle.”

“Well, let me try,” she offers. “Maybe it needs a gentler touch.”

She ignores the scoffs her captain gives.

Dumping the sodden rags into the pail at her side, she makes her way across the room, sidestepping debris and rotten furniture to where her captain is waiting impatiently.

She tugs at the bronze knob and jiggles it. When that doesn’t work, Petra pushes the full force of her weight against the heavy oak panels and twists the handle frantically.

The door still doesn’t budge.

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh,” Captain Levi snaps and crosses his arms.

“We could wait?” Petra offers and pushes a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Or we could yell for help?”

“The windows face the forest. There’s no one out there for miles.” Captain Levi huffs and rolls his eyes heavenwards. “Trust Erwin to order us out to the middle of nowhere in this shitty-ass dump.”

Petra tries. She really does. But she isn’t able to stop the giggle from leaving her throat.

There is something utterly amusing to see her captain raving and ranting about the state of the dilapidated castle with his cleaning uniform on (that comprises his headscarf and kerchief around the lower portion of his face) and a feather duster in his hand.

“What?”

“Nothing, sir!”

His eyes shift, and he gives her a hard look. “I told you not to call me that.”

“What?” Petra grins. “Do you mean ‘sir’?”

“You know what I mean, Ral. Stop fucking around.”

She laughs, not missing the slight softening in his gaze or the way the tension bleeds from his form.

“Okay, Levi.”

“Brat.”

Petra beams and moves up to adjust the skewed corners of his cravat. Her fingers smooth out the pristine white fabric with familiarity borne out of habit. “Well, at least you got stuck in a room with me and not someone like Oruo.”

Levi grunts. “I’ll push him out of the window if that happened.”

She snickers under her breath, enjoying the way his neck turns a dull shade of red when the tips of her fingers skim along the skin above his collar. With her task done, she moves on, trailing along the buttoned seams of his dress shirt, delighting in the way his chest heaves as his breathing stutters.

“Earlier, I heard what you said to Eren.”

Petra pauses. She looks up. Meeting Levi’s hooded grey eyes that are boring down at her with an intensity that makes her cheeks flush, she shuffles her feet. “What about it?”

He quirks a brow. “If you said anymore, that kid is gonna put two and two together.”

“No, he won’t,” she argues lightly and allows Levi to rest a cautionary palm on her hip.

It has been months, and Levi is still hesitant to show his affections with casual touches and murmured verbal assurances. Petra is okay with that. She knows the man isn’t comfortable with such displays, and she loves him for trying.

“Oi, Petra, I mean it. It’s just a while longer,” he says gruffly into her ear, sliding the tip of his nose against her hair, breathing her in.

It isn’t often that they get times like this to be alone—to be together. Petra treasures them all the more for it. Closing her eyes, she presses closer, savouring this small intimate moment that they share.

Like the rest, she tucks the memory of him—of being in his embrace, of the clean, sharp masculine smell of him in her senses, of the way his heart beats rhythmically beneath his ribs, and how loved and happy and she feels—right into the depths of her soul.

“I know,” Petra sighs and pulls away.

She looks up and smiles softly, memorising the unguarded way he looks down at her. Captain Levi of the Scout Regiments might be a fearsome and awed soldier, but he is just a man to Petra.

A man she loves and has willingly dedicated her heart to.

“I’ll be careful,” she promises, offering what she hopes to be a reassuring smile. Petra reaches up to card a hand through his hair, fingers brushing against the short bristles of his undercut. “I won’t do anything to mess this up. Though, you know I hate waiting.”

“Tch,” Levi grumbles something unintelligible, but she can see the bashfulness in his eyes. His grip on her hips tighten. “You’ll probably join Shitty Glasses, eh?”

“That’s only if Squad Leader Hange wants me.”

“They would. Four Eyes would be fucking dumb if they turned you down.”

Compliments from Levi aren’t as rare anymore, but still, Petra doesn’t think she will ever tire of them. She beams and slings her arms around his neck. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re sweet?”

“Oi, get off. Your hands are filthy.”

She cracks a grin at that and releases him.

Levi clears his throat, looking oddly shy. “Hey, Ral, remember what I said. Keep it quiet. It’s only a while more.”

No more hiding.

The thought of no longer having to hide their relationship and being seen together with Levi like regular couples sends frissons of longing down her back. It feels as though there are a million butterflies taking flight in her gut.

Petra nods, her cheeks flushing. “I know. After the 57th expedition,” she gives him a cheeky grin. “You’re mine.

Levi offers a faint smile at that. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Promise.”

#rivetra #rivetra fic #rivetra fanfiction #levi x petra #my writing #prompt me #i am so sorry anya that i took an eternity to get this out!!!#but here we go I HOPE THIS IS OKAY #💖💖💖#tho i think everyone is going to come up after me with knives now #knives out 2 but rivetra fandom style #i’m sorry if this is all over the place too like ahh my brain is dead as well asgsjsjis

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yaomomvs · 3 years

Text

— BEING INARIZAKI’S TEAM MANAGER AND A SECRET VOLLEYBALL PLAYER

inarizaki x f!manager

this is part of a hcs series, let me now what team you want next <3

okay so actually you ended being the manager because the girls volleyball team had already closed the application time

so you you were really looking forward to it and omg you were so sad about it

after being rejected, you were just peacefully going through the gym and you heard laughter from a bunch of guys

you recognized kosaku since he was in your class and waved at him.

and so, they were talking about getting a manager since this team is pretty much a lot to handle

and so since kosaku knew you were hard working and that the first idea that popped out oh his head was that if you wanted to try out.

kita respectfully introduced himself and asked if you were willingly try out 🥺🥺🥺 like what a man 🥺🥺

and mostly because the twins having fangirls always made this process kind of difficult, so instead kita and aran wanted to make sure it was someone who at least was trusted by one of them

and not to brag but bestie you are gorgeous

so it was a win win

atsumu refused to this because as the jerk he usually is, he said that he didn’t need any help

that son of a bitch

he was being soooo petty mainly after you said “oh don’t worry kita, idiots are not my type”

osamu fell in love with you ❗️

and aran

and suna

and well the team.

and so, looking at the other court where the girl vbc was training you said that it was something.

every! single! practice! is! chaotic!

but somehow you managed them so well

atsumu is still trying to prove that he doesn’t but oh boy he is the first one to requiere your help

you better believe this guys are your simps and are constantly competing over someone who a year ago could never imagine they had

your attention? the best way to prove each other they were superior

in away games, god bless the idiot that wants to even dares to try to do a move on you

they are lowkey intimidating

not but seriously

specially and surprisingly kita and aran

son como esos niños mamones fresas que de cierto modo les tienes miedo

besides

this team? over the moon for you

and tbh, they were so grateful for you, you did a lot for them that they started to feel some kind of embarrassing how before they wouldn’t know how to do basic stuff like cooking for camps, labeling they jerseys correctly, searching for new equipment like they love you

anyways that however was kinda sus to them

it all started when somehow you learned so quickly, and the technical stuff was not hard to understand as to others

surprisingly the first one to notice was suna

you could have said something but tbh

you still look forward to play volleyball like more seriously even as a hobby

BUT

you’d rather be dead than telling your team that’s what you wanted because

a) they could think you only joined to learn volleyball and not help them

b) you had your pride, you want to be recognized by your own merits rather than “of course, they are inarizaki’s manager if they weren’t they could have never been this good”

so you still played volleyball but hid from them

there was a gym nearby where constant tournaments were held

you were a ghost because knowing damn well your boys could go there at any moment you decided to take some precautions

like nickname and position was everything they knew about you

your teammates loved you, so they respected your private life, and it was kind of cool

but what you were not expecting is that for some reason, omimi had followed you one day bc you forgot something after practice.

being a friday it meant for some weird reason you always rushed out

“sus” suna says everytime

so he catches you going out to the gym and maybe, he thought, you were just going to workout or see someone

BUT THIS GUYS EYEBALLS ALMOST FALL WHEN HE SEES TOY RUSH AND TAKE OFF YOUR SCHOOL UNIFORM SHIRT AND TIE TO FUCKING REVEAL A JERSEY WUTH A #3 on it

bye you broke him

and so he tries to process it normally

key word: tries

and here we are him being interrogated by the team incredulous to his words.

ay first they interrogated him being overprotective by the fact that he was spending more time with you but when he tells them what he saw god dammit

they loose it when they find out.

and so, tsumu says something that everyone agrees with him for the first time

“let’s go and spy”

“i swear to god if y/n finds out...”

“shut up aran, unless you want to make it obvious and reveal our identity dumbass!”

“tsumu, the disguises are awful”

“come on kita not you too!”

“what if”

“akagi shut up all of you agreed with the idea”

“osamu you suck”

and so there they go. trying to find you in the sea of people at the entrance, not having a clear view yet, they only search for the navy blue and white uniform that omimi described to them when he saw you.

and then almost as if it was the gods plan, they started hearing whispers of people around mentioning the arrival of one of the most popular teams out there.

“come on what the big deal-” suna started saying, however your figure appeared and he instantly turned into a babbling mess.

as well as the rest of inarizaki vbc.

osamu had to double check to assure himself that it indeed was you, beautiful as ever, walking alongside your hot and apparently talented team.

minutes later, they were standing in the bleachers as quiet as they could. they spotted you.

“A SETTER” atsumu jumped of his seat and had to be scolded by aran who was also surprised by the position you were going to be playing.

“wasn’t expecting that” ginjima talks saying what everyone was currently thinking.

behind them was a couple of guys, who apparently did not know how lower their comments.

“the setter is kinda cute” “wow look at that” oml please even aran who was the voice of reason had the urge to punch them in the face.

still they decided to just focus on your game who has now been started. and even tho they wanted to not do it, they couldn’t help analyzing you and your moves in the court. it was natural, well because they were players and very good ones it’s inevitable for them to compare and to study the way you played more than anything.

they were not expecting you to be this good. almost everything in your technique was polished, your tema work was remarkable and god bless your ability to read the blockers.

but there was a moment when they just saw the panoramic view of your skills. atsumu could see your tired expression, the sweat on your body, he just knew you were feeling now the adrenaline of the last moments of the set.

still you yelled a “we will take it” and then, with the others team hope hanging on a thread, the ball came to your libero, which perfectly passed the ball to you.

there was greed in your eyes, so scary that kita for a moment feared for the other team.

and it was when you did the setter dump that your whole team stood up in pure shock.

who were you and why were you hiding?

sadly the boys screamed way too loud which lead to you, after you made the last point and give the history to your tema, lifted up your gaze and saw a bunch of idiots wearing hats and everything in between.

suna and tsumu ran the fastest in the team directly to the gate, and the with a bunch of losers behind them,

because after everything you were there arms crossed and a murderous look in your eyes.

“IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE Y/N” “osamu shut up!”

they, once you made sure to pinch each and everyone’s ears, starred bombarding questions on how did you managed to learned that and why you did ikr tell them

“come on guys, in school i’m already looked down at just because it’s you! so could you imagine me being a inarizaki student trying to move without your name?”

kita forced them to shut up and aran felt a a kind of guilt

as week as everyone else

“don’t worry y/n, we know now what it’s like to not being your own author.”

and so, they just told you how proud they were.

“maybe we are jerks but y/n we are your jerks, and over there or respect to you has just grown up”

suna the says “you’ve been there all of the time for a while now, i guess it out time to return the favor”

and so ever since then they alwaaaaays try to be at your games

like pls once the referee said one of your serves was out and from the bleachers he screaaaaaaamed, he claims that it was definitely in

kita always gives you some food after a game or practice

talking about practice

even if you are there for being a manager they always try to, at least half an hour before ending practice, they have a quick game with you playing alongside them or just including you in their repeats etc

and goooood bless once again anyone who tried to look down at you.

because after being constantly on you games ofc people started recognizing them as the inarizaki power house

if they heard someone relying your talent on them pls make sure they five them the coldest look ever

like ‘nah bro i dare you to say that one more time’

*knive eyes*

and

even some girls attend your games trying to flirt with them

you know what they do?

they brush them off and say “sorry, my type is y/n” suna says and the are 😳

pretty much everyone does this

come on even aran

inarizaki best boys 🥺🥺🥺

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xtodorcki · 3 years

Text

“Betrayal,” Levi x Reader

Summary: The 3 Titan shifters (aka Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt) had stolen the last Titan serum and you end up getting framed. While you get tortured by the military police to reveal the truth, Levi tries his best to prove your innocence.

Idk if this would end up being a series, it just might bc even tho this was requested, I’m thinking about having a spin where after the reader gets tortured, they have like a life changing moment (kinda like Tokyo ghoul where after Kaneki gets tortured, he turns into an actual ghoul) kinda like that so bear with me🤧

Warnings!: abuse and torture!!!!

It was a normal day, the only day off the scouts had and they all spent it relaxing and talking with each other. You had sat next to your boyfriend, Levi, while having a few drinks when the military police had stormed inside the place.

The sudden harsh grabs of their hands on your body, slamming you down on the hard table was enough to cause pain through your body and you had let out a wince from the impact.

Their actions had made Levi jump up and try to shove them off your body, his anger boiling at the sight of you being put into handcuffs without them barely saying a word.

“Back up, Captain and let us do our job.” The guy ended up punching Levi clean in his jaw and made him stumble back.

“What the hell are you doing?” Armin had shouted, all the scouts ready to fight with the guards as they yanked your small body off the table.

“Y/N is under arrest for stealing the Titan serum and helping the traitors get away.” They spoke coldly, making your eyes widen at their words and Levi had looked surprised.

“That’s not true! I didn’t touch it!” You shouted, trying to resist their attempts of shoving you out the door and you had looked back at Levi.

“It’s not true, you have to believe me!” The last look he had given you was disappointment and that had made your heart shattered as they put you on the carriage.

The ride back to their station was quiet, except their disgusting words that they shot at you to make you feel guilty and even a guard mentioned how beaten you were going to be after they were done with you.

Your heart ached and your body shook from the amount of rage you felt running through your veins. You were sure you already had bruises forming on your skin from the rough pushing and shoving against the table.

Levi had stood in the middle of the room, watching you get taken out the door with the small of blood running down his nose and everyone stayed quiet, looking at the Captain.

He didn’t want to believe it but why would they suspect you? Out of all people? It had made him overthink about it but the look of terror on your face as you looked at him one last time had made him feel deep down in his gut that you were telling the truth.

He was your boyfriend afterall, he knew you pretty well and have been for over a year so he was positive he would know if you were a traitor and if you stole something as big as the Titan serum.

As you were shoved inside the cell, being locked away, you were left to your thoughts and the tears threatened to stream down your face as you tried to think of everything- how did you even end up here? What led you here?

It was a painful topic to think about, to even think about being a suspect, to think about being a traitor. There was no room for you to be a traitor even if you tried.

It had taken hours before the guards came back to bring you into a empty room, tying you to a chair to ‘ask you questions’ but in reality, they put you here to enjoy the torture they’re going to do to you.

“Where is the Titan serum?” One asked, making your sad tear filled eyes to look up at them and before you could even open your mouth, he had swung his fist to strike you across the face.

The rough impact caused blood to spit out of your mouth and onto the wooden floors, coughing it up as you tried to take steady breaths but it was far too difficult.

Levi had finally went up to the station with everyone, trying to reason with the military police and talk to them about the fact that their thoughts on you were completely false.

They had surprisingly let Levi through considering he is a scout but when he got through the area he wasn’t supposed to be in and had seen you in the room, the way you were breathing heavy and the way you face was already beaten to the point where he could barely recognize your face because it was covered it blood- it made him angry.

“Have you even done your actual fucking jobs or have you been beating her this entire fucking time?!” He shouted at them, making you raise your head at the sound of his voice and your heart began to break more if that was even possible.

“We are doing our job, you’re not even supposed to be this far back here. Get his ass out of here.” The mp ordered the guards to drag Levi out and he had looked at you with a pained look, shoving the guards off of him and walking out of the room by himself.

He didn’t want to leave you there but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do except talk to the higher ups and try to prove your innocence to them but that’s a lot harder than it sounds

Throughout the night, the guards didn’t let you sleep one bit. The long hours of them beating you whether it was with a stick, a whip- it didn’t matter. They had even used knives to cut up your skin, they didn’t care- for all they know you were a traitor to them.

The amount of blood that had covered your entire uniform was sick, you could barely even keep your eyes open and handle everything. You stopped crying, you stopped screaming, you were just emotionless.

And inside your head, you had zoned out enough to not think about the pain and think about the harsh beatings they were giving you. It felt like you had changed into a whole completely different person and gave yourself a new mindset from all this torture.

And it took two days.

Two days for Levi to find proof, two days for Levi to run up to the station and slam the proof on their desks along with bringing the scouts for evidence to show them that the people who had stole the Titan serum was no one else but the two Titan shifters, Reiner and Bertholdt.

The way Levi had rushed up to the chair you were still tied in, the rope digging in your skin from how tight it was- leaving dry blood stains from head to toe.

The guards still didn’t feel bad, shit, they still thought you did it but by their boss’ commands- they had to let you go.

Your eyes barely opened when Levi stepped in the room, all you could hear was muffling of voices and a blur of his face come into view.

He wanted to kill them desperately. The way he would enjoy watching his blade slice through their skins like butter but he kept his cool, he kept it together but deep down he wanted to scream at the sight of you. You were awful.

He had scooped you up in his arms, you could barely see his face from the blood but you ended up passing out eventually.

When you had regain consciousness, Levi had barely made it back to the base. All the scouts had looked at you in complete shock and even Armin had shed a few tears while Eren threatened to kill all the MPs.

“Just leave her be for a couple of days guys, she’s in bad shape.” Levi mumbled, he didn’t want to think about it too much- he didn’t want to stare at your bloody state or else it’ll send him off the deep end.

He didn’t know what to do but simply clean you in the bath tub. He had undressed you and sat you in there, making sure to sit you up so you wouldn’t fall. You held onto the edges of the bath, your eyes staring down at the clear water that soon was dark red from your blood.

You remained quiet which worried him, he knew it must’ve been traumatizing but he thought you would at least speak up by now.

“Y/N?” He whispered, running the cloth over your body ever so gently and this is when he got full looks of your wounds.

Deep cuts and slashes on your skin, from your back to your arms and legs. It was painful for him to look at it, he knew you would need stitches for them.

“Will you be okay for a few minutes? I need to go get the first aid.” He stared at you but your eyes stayed on the water, your head tilted down and your eyes barely even blinking.

Levi had sighed, standing up from his spot and left the room to hurry to the infirmary and come back so he can stitch you up himself. While he was gone, your eyes had moved around the bathroom and the bloody cloth he was using to wash you.

Once you had catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you stared at it for what seemed like forever- looking at the cuts that covered your pale body. Soon you started to laugh while tears filled up in your very eyes and even a few slipped down your cheeks as your laugh grew louder.

He had finally walked in the room, looking down at you and had felt a huge weight pin down on his heart. The mixed bloody tears on your cheeks and the laughter coming out of your mouth had him frozen in time until you finally caught his gaze, your laughing coming to a stop and your sobs started leaving your lips.

Levi rushed over, dropping the box and leaned over the tub to hug onto you but not so tight, making sure to watch your wounds. Your sobs had grown so loud that the scouts down the hall heard your crying, the pain escaping your throat was painful to their ears.

“Hey, shhh.” He had tried to comfort you, the guilt he felt had made him want to punch himself for not helping you sooner, it was his fault you were like this.

He stroked your hair back, tilting your head up to look at him fully and he couldn’t help but cry with you. The whimpers that escaped your busted lips had made him want to break down here and now.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.. you’re safe.” He repeated until your breathing had gone back to normal, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

He had resumed what he was doing. He grabbed the needle and thread, slowly starting to stitch you up while you silently cried in the tub, the water growing cold as your body ached. He had stitched you up in so many places that he could barely count, they completely went overboard with torturing you and he felt like it was on purpose.

When he finished cleaning off the dry blood off your naked body, he lifted you up and wrapped a towel around you. He watched the dark red water go down the drain and he cursed under his breath at the mess around the bathroom, blood everywhere.

You were silent again, numb to everything you had felt throughout the last few days, emotionless but felt the need to scream again but your throat was dry and empty and sore.

He was careful to dress you in comfortable clothes, mostly his t-shirt and some sweatpants after he made sure to put bandages over your stitches and cuts. He tugged his blankets back, laying you down and tucking you in.

Once your head had hit the pillow, your eyes shut and he sat at the edge brushing his fingers through your hair, watching you for a while.

“I’ll make sure they pay for this, I promise..” He mumbled, more to himself than to you before he pressed a kiss to your bruised cheek.

“I love you.”

Throughout the night he had slept beside you but made sure to keep his distance, he didn’t want to hurt you in any way and he knew you haven’t slept the whole time you’ve kept by the military police.

As you slept, all you dreamt of was nightmares and to you they felt so real. The way they would hit you, it felt like they actually did and when they had walked up to your bloody corpse, leaning down and even threatening to cut off your fingers.

The way their plyers had gripped onto your fingernails as they ripped it out with no remorse- it all felt too real. Your body would shake, jolt and even whimpers would fall from your lips as you slept. It had taken a while for Levi to even wake up from your movements.

“Y/N.” He tried to be as gentle as possible, placing his hand on your arm and that’s when you jolted awake, sitting up and panting.

He had removed his hand when you shot up, hesitating before he reached out for you again and when you felt his fingertips- you flinched hard, looking over at him like he was a stranger.

“It’s me.” He mumbled, your eyes adjusting to the dark and you looked at his pained expression and that made your breathing start to calm down.

“Sorry.” You whispered, wiping the sweat off your forehead and you looked down at your arms wrapped in bandages, seeing the blood start to leak through.

“Don’t be.. do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” You said coldly, moving to lay back down in bed and had your back facing him as you stared at the wall.

Levi wanted to desperately take your pain away, he wish he could trade spots and take all the damage instead. But as he sat there staring down at you for what seemed like an hour, he was afraid of losing you and afraid that you were slowly slipping away from his grasp.

He thought about comforting you, would that even be a safe option? He thought. You flinched at his slight touches and he didn’t want you to become afraid of him, he loved you more than anything.

He decided to scoot closer to you, carefully kissing the back of your head and rested his hand on a safe part of your upper arm, making you tense underneath his touch.

“Look, I know what you went through was traumatic.. believe me but please don’t push me away, I can’t lose you.” He said softly, making your eyes water instantly from the flashbacks that flooded your head, every slap, kick, punch, everything.

“Levi,”

“I just want you to be able to talk to me, you’re not alone, at all.”

“I know.” You simply said, not knowing what else to really say about the situation. You were beaten senseless, out of pure hatred, it changed you.

You decided to gently turn over to face him, scrunching up your nose at the pain that followed as you moved. Your eyes looked at his, your bruised face had made his heart hurt more than he could explain.

As you two sat there staring at one another, you carefully brought your weak hand up to caress his cheek and rubbed your thumb over his skin slowly.

He leaned his face more into your hand, the most affection he has gotten out of you and even then, you hesitated, you wanted to pull away. You didn’t want to be touched, talked to, you wanted to be left alone but you had to think about Levi’s feelings too and what he did for you.

“Thank you, for everything.” You mumbled, making his eyes instantly move to look at yours with a hint of hope in them.

“No need to thank me.”

“But I want to, for cleaning me up and trying to support me.. can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

You sat there for a moment, trying to think of a better way to put everything and you sighed, your lips pressing into a thin line and even that had made the pain shoot through your busted lips.

“I just- I’m not comfortable speaking about the details but what I will say is, I’m not the same.”

“Ive noticed.” He whispered, moving his hand to brush the strands of your hair back from your face and he gave you a weak smile.

“No matter what, Y/N, I’m here.. to love you, to take care of you, all of it. You’re not getting rid of me so easily.” This time you cracked a smile, squishing his cheeks playfully as you leaned over to press a quick kiss to his lips but even that caused you pain in your body.

“I love you, Lev.”

Soooo idk whether to make a part 2

But if I was, I was thinking of the reader going crazy from the traumatic experiences and even going as far as to killing the guards in cold blood— no one knowing who did it except Levi. Blah blah.

Tell me what you think

Also this one is longer and I’m actually glad and proud how it turned out. So this is why I wanna start pacing myself, it turns out better that way❤️ but my requests are ALWAYSSSSS open, just be patient with me. Mwah. Ps, if you read all that, I love you.

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

( tag list: @levis-odm-gear )

#levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman x reader #levi Ackerman #levi ackerman headcanons #levi x reader #levi headcanons #levi angst #levi imagines #levi imagine #levi fanfic #aot fanfic #aot imagines #aot headcanons

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may-fanfic · 3 years

Text

Falling Hard

Summary: Natasha took you in when you were very young and raised you as her own. You and Wanda become friends when she was recruited, after an argument you have with nat, Wanda is there to comfort you.

Warning: mentions of drug addict parents, small argument, thats about it, correct me if i’m wrong tho

Rating: idk its fluff

word count: 2,311

((feel free to send in any request))

pt 2

masterlist

------

Wanda hadn't expected to find someone she could rely on or relate to anyone when she joined the Avengers. she assumed they were all gonna be older people who had no idea what they would talk to them about, she figured it would be awkward but at least, she had people on her side.

you strolled into the living room to greet the newcomers when Natasha called you. Wanda was quiet and closed off as Natasha made an awkward introduction to the twins as you kinda just stood there, the book that you had been reading tucked to your side as the group simply stared at their feet. "this is useless, mom can I go?" you asked gesturing to the stairs, the woman tucked hair behind your ear before nodding, smiling lightly at you. you often came off as harsh as Natasha even if you had been the sweetest person, at least that's what the redhead spy thought. you were a lot like her, strong, smug with a slight attitude.

"she's not good with new people." Tony explained causing Natasha to glare at the man. "don't you dare talk about my daughter." she pointed a finger before huffing and going away to make some coffee.

"that's where she gets it." Steve chuckled.

----

you had managed not to run into the new pair until one day you had been seated in the kitchen, perched upon the countertop as you swung your legs, all your attention glued to the book at hand until a gush of wind smacked you, blowing your pages causing you to gasp lightly and when you looked up, Pietro had been standing there and he swallowed hard at your cold glare and only seconds later Wanda jogged in, breathing hard as she whined about him cheating, quickly going quiet when her eyes landed on you. "no powers in the tower especially you, buddy!" you pointed a finger at the boy with whitish hair causing him to nod.

maybe you had been a little mean but Wanda didn't understand why she had been attracted to your mean girl attitude but she couldn't help the flutter in her chest whenever you were around her. you were a short, hot-headed girl and she couldn't help but be intrigued by you.

after some time the two of you finally had actual conversations that had been past your snarky remarks. she had been more than relieved to have a friend in you and Natasha were glad that you had been coming out of your shell. it wasn't that you were an introvert, you simply didn't get along with a lot of people.

---

"show me!" you giggled, rolling onto your stomach as the girl rested against your headboard, rolling her eyes playfully before twirling her fingers around, a red glowing light appeared between her fingers causing you to gasp. "whoa!" you admired, a soft giggle slipping from her lips as you stared at the red that moved in between her fingers.

"what else can you do?" you smiled, leaning your head in Wanda's lap, she tried her hardest to focus on anything else but the way her heart fluttered. she cleared her throat, moving one of your books from across the room into her hands quickly causing you to look at her, mouth agaped and she wore a smug smile before pulling a blanket over you with her powers and sweetly smiling.

"let me read to you." she offered, the main light to your room going off and instead the lamp beside your bed turned on and it was all too much for you to process so instead you just nodded and settled completely into her lap, your eyes fluttering shut, warmth and comfort washing over you as her heavy accent filled your ears.

---

Wanda watched as you mindlessly hit the punching bag even Steve struggled to keep the bag at bay as you punched it and you hadn't even used all your strength but you were strong... really strong. "good." your mother spoke uncrossing her arms and nodding at Steve to let go of the beaten bag.

"you're getting better at controlling your strength." Natasha pointed out, handing you a bottle of water and a small towel for your sweat. "you think?" you asked softly wiping at your forehead before grabbing a hold of your discarded t-shirt watching as she nodded with a smile. "when do you think I can start with missions?" you watched your mom's face turn sour and she ran a hand through her redhead. "let's not talk about that right now." she sighed, reaching out for you only for you to step back, a frown taking over your lips.

"you're too young, kid." Steve spoke up causing you to snap your hard glare at him. you were Wanda's age, there was no way that was the reason. "call me kid once more time." you stomped over to him until Natasha caught your wrist.

"that is exactly what I mean.. come on babes... I know what's best for you. after all, I am your mo-"

"you're not my mom." you spoke sharply, her lips parted and eyes watering up. "and you never will be." you turned away from her so quickly before stumbling over to the exit, the witch shooting up and following you.

"I'm not your mother?!" the woman followed closely behind you, anger filling her face. "I wasn't there when your drug-addicted parents were murdered?! I wasn't the one who took you to school every day?! I wasn't the one who was there for you every time you had a nightmare?! you had no idea what a mother was until you met me! so don't you dare ever talk to me that way again! you hear me?!" you bit the inside of your cheek, refusing to let any emotion show.

"I didn't ask for your help. you took me to fill the void of not being able to have children! you were just sad and lone-" you were abruptly cut off but the woman's voice.

"fine, you know what? you're right. I'm not your mom and I don't want to be. not anymore... I give up y/n. I do. I'm done trying to be there for you. I give up on you." she shrugged before turning and stumbling back into the training room, her soft but firm words cutting you like knives and if Wanda hadn't been there and softly grabbed a hold of your hand, you would've crumbled because it wasn't the first time those words were uttered to you.

"come on, возлюбленная (sweetheart)" she cooed, tugging you in the direction of your room, feeling your anger being washed away by sadness. as soon as you were in your room, you couldn't help the sob that slipped from your lips. your back crashed against the wall and slid down it before Wanda met you on the floor, her arms quickly wiping around you and whispering soothing words in your ear.

"Everyone gives up on me! everyone! I'll never have anyone!" you sobbed into the girl's chest causing her to bite her lip, shushing you lightly. "you have me. believe me, when I tell you, I'll never give up on you. I promise.. b-because i-" she paused for a moment, pulling your face from her chest, cupping your cheeks softly and wiping away the tears that poured from your eyes. "because I love you.." she confirmed causing your tearful eyes to go wide. "nothing with ever change that.." she added before a gasp slipped from her when your lips crashed against hers with a hard pressure before it quickly softened when you notice how hard it was and you had been too afraid to hurt her.

"that was a bit harsh, Romanoff." tony mumbled, glancing up at her when she reentered the training room, a hard look on her face. "what do you know?!" she snapped, slightly becoming choked up when she thought about the way your face fell when she uttered out her words coldly. she didn't mean it, she didn't mean any of it but you had hurt her. as a mothe- a caregiver she should've been able to handle it better. she loved you unconditionally and she hated herself for hurting you.

"I know what it feels like for a parent to give up on you, and it doesn't feel good," he spoke sincerely causing her to let out a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose to stop the pain in her head. she should've been the bigger person and threw away her pride when it came to you. her eyes started to water at the memory of you telling her you loved her for the first time when you were much younger or when you first called her mom for the first time and now she had been punching the punching bag hard to avoid her feelings, but then she couldn't shake the feeling that you had been upset and she felt so much hatred for herself at that moment.

Natasha knew you loved her and viewed her as a mother but your vision had been so clouded by anger that you simply couldn't control what you were saying but she could've. with one final punch, Natasha decided that it was her who should apologize. when she stumbled to your room and gently pushed open your door, you had been neatly tucked away in Wanda's embrace, your face nuzzled into her neck.

the both of you had been sound asleep and she didn't have the heart to wake you up from your seemingly comfortable state but then it dawned on her that you were never a cuddly type unless it was someone you really, really liked, and then she couldn't help the small smile and her teary eyes because she realized that her little girl had grown up and had been in love.

you had been incredibly exhausted in the morning. you couldn't believe how emotionally worn out you had become and it hadn't help that Wanda wasn’t with you in the morning instead you met her in the kitchen, a small grin on her face when she spotted you. "I wanted to make you breakfast," she explained shyly, her arm wrapping itself around your lower back and pulled you in for a hug.

"you're too sweet, Wanda." you sighed out conflicted on whether you should be happy because the girl you liked for a bit of time is finally yours or if you should feel upset that you no longer had that mother figure that Natasha provided you with. you planted a soft kiss on Wanda's lips before turning to make some coffee. you and Wanda had been up quite early, leaving the both of you in a comfortable quiet kitchen as you worked alongside each other to get breakfast ready.

you had gone most of your day without seeing Natasha until you and Wanda stumbled into the training room, Wanda bragging about how she could whoop your ass without even using her hands and you protested claiming you could rip her in half using your bare hands. the conversation was lighthearted and playful, you were both laughing and giggling about it until Natasha had come into your sight.

"We need to talk y/n." the older woman declared with a stern look on her face but in all reality, she had been happy that Wanda was making you smile despite the heavy argument you had with Natasha. you didn't have it in you to protest so instead you nodded and Wanda sent you a comforting smile before stumbling out the training room giving the both of you privacy. you let out a sigh, your gaze dropping before you glanced back up at the woman who raised you. "l-listen, mo- Natasha-" the woman stood her head, taking steps towards you and opening up her arms for a hug. "no, stop come here." you stepped into her embrace, sighing softly in relief.

"I would never and I mean, never give up on you. you know why?" you shook your head nuzzling into the woman. "because you're my daughter and you'll always be. I love you very much and I'm sorry that I ever allowed my anger to cloud my judgment. I'm your mom and I should've reacted to the situation better. it'll never happen again. okay?" you let out a half sob, half laugh causing her arms to tighten around you.

"I'm sorry too." she chuckled lightly, pressing a soft and comforting kiss to your temple. "it's just upset when no one trusts you when it comes to something that you've been working hard on, you know?" you explained causing Natasha to push you back slightly, cupping your cheeks and frowned. "you think I don't trust you when it comes to your strength? I do trust you, honey. it's just I want you to be emotionally prepared for what the mission entails, do you understand? plus you getting hurt because of something I allowed you to do would kill me." she uttered out causing you to nod understandably.

once all the heavy stuff had been out the way and apologizes had been accepted, Natasha couldn't help the smug smile that formed on her lips, she moved to hold the punching back for you as you punched at it, focusing on how hard you had been hitting it until Natasha uttered out. "I saw you and Wanda cuddling last night when I came to apologize. I've gotta admit you two are cute together. how long has that been going on?" she smirked when your cheeks flushed over and your eyes widened. the woman had been playfully wiggled her eyebrows at you as your punches stopped abruptly, your cheeks heating up even more.

"oh my god, please stop!"

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x you #the avengers #avengers #natasha romanoff

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kortsitron · 3 years

Text

Cold-hearted

Pairing: Steve Rogers × Murderer!Male! Reader

Warnings: cursing (not much tho), mention of blood, mention of killing, it's kinda disgusting (understand it however you want)

Summary: Reader is a murderer gets captured by the Avegers after a long time. Steve catches contact with reader and falls in love with him, but was falling for him right?

// Hate me all you want after this, but honestly that idea for a one shot in my opinion is just *chef's kiss* I might do the second part, but I'll think about it. Leave your thoughts in comments and enjoy 💖 //

"So... Did you like your life or am I doing you a favor?" You said to the person being attached to a chair, who was crying already. "At least it's nothing personal, because if it would person, it would much worse than that." You murmured while making your way to the table where you had a lot of knives. Everytime you would kill someone, you always liked to talk to them. No matter what was talk monolog about, you liked it. It was kind of your traditions to do that. You knew that it wasn't relaxing the person that you were talking to, but it was relaxing for you. "It would say that this won't hurt, but it will." You smiled to yourself while taking your favorite knife. The person you were trying to kill, was having a hiccup from crying, but beside that everything was quiet. Way too quiet. "Something wrong, I can sense it..." You murmured to yourself. The next thing you knew was that Balck Widow came to your hiding place and kicked you right in the head, making you fall on the ground and lose consciousness.

"Got him, you can come in."

You woke up a few hours later with shook collar on neck and big handcuffs. You cell was huge, made out of glass and metal. "Good morning, prince. Hope you like your home." Nick Fury said to the microphone. You wanted to cover your ears, because of how loud he was, but you couldn't. "Around an hour from now you'll have an interview, so ya better get ready." You were quiet.

When the interview came, you were still quiet. Behind the glass, right in front you was a glass, you weren't seeing too well who was on the other side, but somehow you could tell that Captain America and few other people. When the guy that was supposed to interview you, got angry and started yelling at you, you were looking terrified. You weren't saying anything, but it was way to visible how scared you were. You managed to make eye contact with Captain through the dark glass, which made him want to get out of that situation. So that's why he stood up. "Where do you think you're going?" Natasha raised her eyebrow, when Steve made his way to the door.

"It think I should try talk to him." He answered before coming in. He talked for a while with a guy, before he took his thing and left. Steve took a chair and sat right on front you. You still were terrified after what happened. "It's alright pal. I'm not going to yell at you. Everything will be fine, if you're going to cooperate with me, alright?" You waited a second before nodding. "I'm not going to be a good cop or whatever so let me just ask - Why did you do it?" Steve was waiting patiently for you to answer, it took you a minute before you brought yourself up to speak. "I-I had to. I had n-no other option."

"What do you mean? Did someone make you do it?" You flinched at that, it gave Steve some kind of signal, that something was going on. He wasn't sure if you were telling the truth or not, but he decided that he wanted to believe you. "You can tell me, it's okay."

"I-I can't. I-I'm sorry." Steve was sitting here, looking at you, thinking if he should keep asking questions, but he just thanked you for that interview and left. "You knew that he used to spent a lot of his time in theater as a kid? Lying little bastard." Bucky groaned, while looking at paper that in the folder with your name. "You think so?" Steve asked sitting next to his best friend, reading the papers.

"Of course he is. Look at him, he looks like a person that would lie to you." Sam interrupted right before leaving.

"Looks like a lost child to me." Steve murmured under his breath. He was looking directly in your eyes, when four men was taking you back to your cell. "He really does looks like a lost child."

Two hours later, Avengers had a meeting in one of the rooms, discussing your situation and thinking what they should do to you. Steve was quiet, listening to what others were saying, even though your words were still on his mind. "Hey capsticle, you there?" Tony was snapping his fingers, trying to get Steve's attention. He blinked a few times before turning his attention to short brunet male in from of him. "So what did (Y/N) tell you?"

"Oh um... He told he had no other option, when it comes to murdering, that's all." Steve murmured as anwers.

"Liar!" Thor shouted, others agreed with him.

"Okay, but what if he's actually telling the truth?"

"I would believe it, if it wasn't him." Wanda responded, sounding a bit annoyed.

"I get it, but what if someone's making him do that? I mean, he wouldn't take it put of nowhere, right?"

"I understand what you're trying to say," Bucky added, while looking at Steve with straight face. "but aren't you're just into guy that murdered around one thousand people in one year?" When Bucky saw his best friend's annoyed expression, he couldn't help his laugh. "I'm just messing with you, punk. Don't be mad."

"I just that's more to it than we think."

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll find out."

Days went and Steve still couldn't get your words out of his mind, so he decided that he wanted to befriend you or at least make you trust him so he could find out if you were telling the truth. He didn't much time, because in a month, you were about to be taken to jail. So he went to your cell and saw you, being absolutely miserable and gently tapping on glass with your nails. It was dark in your cell, because it was night, but you couldn't sleep.

"Can't sleep?" Steve interrupted you, snapping you out of your thoughts. His voice was quiet, because he didn't want to scare you. You looked at him and smiled a little. "Thanks for saving me from that guy a few days ago. He scared be a bit, wasn't expecting that reaction from him."

"Wasn't expecting that either. You know where they planning to take me?" You were meaning the jail.

"No, everyone's doesn't want to inform about you, since I've decided to defend you at one of the meetings." He answered while scratching back of his neck, not sure if it was right to say that. "I told them what you said to me and everyone's now calling you a liar. I just thought other should think about what you've said."

"You believe me? You must be only one." You honestly thought he would be like the rest.

"Maybe. But I've heard you really liked spending your time in theater as kid. How was it?" This surprised you, he actually wanted to get to know you. It made blush a bit. Luckily it was too dark for Steve to notice your pink cheeks. You decided to talk to him, tell him about yourself and listen to what he wanted to say. You didn't remember the last when you had such a wonderful conversation. Steve seemed to enjoy talking with you as well. You were still like a lost child to him. You two been talking for around three hours, before Steve felt like you needed sleep. "Well, goodnight (Y/N)" He said with a smile right before leaving.

"Um... Goodnight." After that night, when Steve Rogers had a free time, he would come and talk with you. He would even bring you some snacks. Steve's friends were trying to stop him, because they thought you had bad intentions and they noticed that Steve was getting attached to you. Bucky knew him way too well and he was the most worried one from entire team and he knew that he needed to talk to him. He decided to talk to him when he saw him going down the hall. "Steve, where the hell do you think you're going?" Bucky asked with very serious tone, immediately catching Steve's attention. "I'm going to talk with (Y/N)."

"Steve, you're spending too much time with him."

"I'm just trying to make him trust me. I just want to know if he's lying."

"He is lying and you're falling for him." Steve raised his eyebrow at Bucky's second statement. "You're falling for a literal murderer." Bucky sighed, not believing what he just said.

"I'm not, Bucky. Believe me." His smile didn't change Bucky's mind. "But now, excuse me. I gotta go, I'll see you around pal." He was aware of how bad it would if he was in love with you. He wanted just got informations from you, but he knew that he felt something for you. He wasn't going admit that.

Steve was talking with you, like he always did, but this time he decided to ask you about the thing he wanted to ask you for so long. He saw how you tensed up and got more serious. "It was multiple people. If I wouldn't do what they told me to, they would've kill me or people I care about. I had no choice." You explained it to him.

"Can you tell me who they are? Avengers probably won't have problems with getting them into jails."

"No." You sounded panicked. "They'll know that I was the one to tell you." You took a small break, before speaking again. "I wish I could do something."

Steve thought about your words for a second, before he got most brilliant or the worst idea he ever had. "Maybe you should join Avegers." He exclaimed, catching you off guard. "You can show that everyone is wrong about you and be finally free."

"I- No I couldn't do that."

"I think you just in need to believe in yourself a bit."

"But you would help me, right?"

"Of course. I think you would be a great Avenger."

"Thanks Steve, but I don't others would give me a chance."

"I'll talk with them don't worry." You smiled at him and he smield back, then he left, so he could talk with others about his idea.

"You're joking, right?" Sam asked, not believing what Steve just said.

"Let's give one chance, only one." Steve was serious, deadly serious.

"There's no way it would end in a good way, Steve." Natasha added.

"Let's take him on one mission. If he would try some of his tricks, he would go back to his cell a then to jail." That discussion was going for around 20 minutes, when finally others decided to agree with Steve idea. They didn't seem to be excited about giving you a chance.

Around week later, you've been taken on your first mission. You were stressed, but Steve was trying his best to comfort you by talking with you. You ended up with Steve, Bucky and Sam in some abandoned hospital. You needed to slip up and you went with Steve. Both of you used stairs to get into the basement and went of the room that were there. Everything was dark, but luckily the lights were working. "You think that we'll able to find something in here?" Steve asked you, but he heard nothing from you. Instead he heard metal door close. "(Y/N)?" He asked taking his shield and then getting kicked right in the face, which made him hit the desk behind before falling on the floor. It made his earbud fell out of his ear, but before he could even try and get it back, it was smashed by (Y/N)'s shoe. He wa trying to reach and get his shield back, but it was too far waya from him. "I hope you won't take this personal." You smirked before kicked Captain America in the face once again, but harder which made his nose bleed. "So it was all lies?"

"Yeah, nobody made me kill others, but I made people kill others, before I killed them. Just so you know, I just like killing."

"So it was your plan from the beginning? To make me fall for you?"

"Yes, but you also made me fall for you. I wanted to chance it, I even wanted to chance, but my first plan won." You kneeled so you could look into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Before I kill, I want to tell you plan. You deserve to hear it after all. Basically I want to kill every Avenger, because your getting too much in my way. It's way easier to trick police than trick you." Steve really didn't want to do it, but he saw not other way, but to punch you in the face. You hardly hit the floor, but quickly got up. Steve after stood up and got his shield. "I'm gonna feel bad after killing you. If you wouldn't make me love you, it would much easier." Steve threw his shield at you and hit your right in the abdomen, making you cower a bit. "You talk too much."

"I know, I know. Just shut up." You chuckled.

"You know that we don't have to do this? I really don't want to hurt you."

"Even after everything I did to you?"

"Yes, I still want to help. Just let me do it."

"Stop believing in me!" You cried out and took gun to your hand, before shoot him into his legs. He leaned on the desk he hit moment ago. He tried to hide himself behind his shield, but took it from him and threw it away. Then you threw away your gun and took knife that you were hiding the whole time.

Everything slowed down. It was the moment you were waiting for almost a month, but it didn't feel the same. You loved him and as much as you wanted to kill him in the beginning, now with the same passion, you wanted to kiss him. You knew you wouldn't bring yourself up to kill. You smirked to yourself before saying "Fuck you, Steven Grant Rogers." Then you stabbed him around his abdomen, you knew that this would kill him. You knew anatomy too well and you knew where you should thrust, so you wouldn't kill him. Right after that you left, hoping that someone is going to find Steve.

Steve woke up in the hospital, Bucky sitting on chair next to his best friend's bed and Sam was standing next to him. Other Avengers were on their way to hospital. "You alright, punk?" Bucky softly smiled at his friend and put his hand on his shoulder. "I felt worse. You found (Y/N)?"

"You're worried about him, after everything he done to you? He almost killed you." Sam said, Steve shook his head. "He told me that he loves me. If he wanted me dead, he could have shoot me in the head, but he didn't. He cares."

"So what are going to do?" Bucky looked at Sam with confusion on his face, before looking at Steve again.

"I'll find him and I'll help him no matter what. I believe that he can chance. He just needs to believe in himself."

#marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x male reader #male reader #he/him #marvel steve rogers #steve rogers x male reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #captain america x male reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #steve rogers x y/n

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feifood · 3 years

Note

HCs for Izuku, Bakugou, Todoroki, Sero, Iida, and Tokoyami towards a Quirkless S/O who actually won the Sports Festival and managed to get her way into Class 1-A? I like to imagine she’s a lot like Mai and Ty Lee from Avatar in terms of fighting, being acrobatic and a knife master. Sorta like a ninja!

Ninja-like S/o who Transferred to Class 1-A

Bakugou, Iida, Tokoyami

anon anon anon yes I think this idea is so creative,, I only picked three out of that bunch tho so I hope it’s okay -- yesterday I wrote for Sero, Shinso, and Shoto so today I though I’d switch it up a bit hehe

Anyways, I hope you enjoy these and please have a great rest of your day lovely <333

Bakugou:

You will never hear the end of him if he has an s/o that transferred to class 1-A through the sports festival

That just means you basically exceeded expectations and proved yourself worthy enough

Now THAT is something Bakugou would show off day and night just never shut up about it

Literally every argument he has with others he’ll just be like ‘WELL my s/o worked their way into 1-A through the sports festival so...” and the argument would be like why took the last muffin from the pack

Not to mention you got HELLA good technique considering that you have great agility and also knife skills

Good technique = skilled = strong and we all know Bakugou likes strong

PLEASE train with him he would be more than honoured to

Everyone is simply not on his level -- his s/o is the only one who has the privilege of going against him

He’ll probably ask you to teach him some knife tricks but i think it’s best if you don’t,, just for everyone’s safety and wellbeing

Iida:

Iida is someone that just naturally has the desire to excel in everything he does and create new paths for himself -- this man has a lost of solid goals and when you earned a spot in class 1-A he can already tell how hard you worked for YOUR goals and how you’ve achieved them absolutely no problem

So in summary Iida is VERY inspired,, to say the least

The class rep is now coming to YOU for advice despite the fact that you might not even be as good of a leader as him

He sees a lot of potential in you and Iida makes it his goal to make sure that you’re aware of how much he believes in you

He is also DEATHLY afraid of the knives you use for combat -- they are just not safe in the classroom at all and he WILL be the person that’s shouting in the back to keep a safe distance from you whenever you bring them out to train

Also becomes a nurse after every training session because he’ll literally check everywhere on you for any injuries despite the fact that he really doesn’t know anything about the medial field

Tokoyami:

Hear me out: wowed -- in silence

Trust me Tokoyami is suuuuper impressed but he do be that one silent supporter on the side

Definitely doesn’t show you off a lot simply because he doesn’t get the whole point of showing off when you can just celebrate with personal victories

He really really loves watching you train and spar with others because that’s basically when you thrive the most and show your skills the best

ALSO I think he is lowkey possessive -- obviously not to an unhealthy degree but definitely more possessive than you’d expect him to

Just straight up finds it really cool how you were able to work your way into class 1-A through unconventional methods and it proves that all your hard work was worth it -- he looks up to you a lot in this sense

Tokoyami is probably the only one out of these three that you can teach your knife techniques to because he would actually know how to safely handle a knife

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gamerwoo · 3 years

Text

[Tales from the Pack] Hansol: Fire and Ice (Part Two)

Characters: Hansol x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, a little bit of fluff in there tho, a hint of crack, lots of talking about death, mention of stabbing

Word count: 1,964

Summary: You’ve always been one to let your emotions get the best of you – your power reflects that – and you’ve never been good at expressing them. That’s why you always thought you’d be awful with a mate, but you never thought things would be this awful.

Previous | Next | Fire and Ice Masterlist

It wasn’t until the mates at Jiung’s house watched the werewolves perk up and strain their ears that their heart started racing, the too-quiet and tense atmosphere being broken. Chanseong stood up to follow Rin – who had come home alone before everyone else after chasing after you – as she went straight for the door. But she still didn’t smile. Nobody in their pack had smiled once since you ran out with Chan chasing after you.

Rin turned to look at Rika, saying something quickly in English. The smaller girl understood, ushering the mates that had made it back on their own back into the living room.

“What is it?” Yeji asked worriedly as Mingyu rushed right out the door behind Rin.

Rika sighed, trying her best to get a look out the window, “I know you’ve all guessed something was wrong, but… Somebody didn’t make it back.”

“What?!” Jooyeon cried, already assuming the worst.

“Someone’s missing?” Jia asked urgently. “Who?”

Rika just shook her head before sitting on another couch between two of her pack’s mates.

Then the front door opened, and everybody in the living room stood, waiting to see who would enter. But every face was somber, and some had silent tears in their eyes or sliding down their cheeks.

The group in the living room watched as Hansol entered, carrying you, who was passed out in his arms with your face tear-stained and set in almost a scowl. Rika just stared at him for a beat of silence before wordlessly leading him out of the room. None of them were sure what happened to you, but they hoped you were okay.

They watched as Chanseong stood after seeing you, and walked out of the room with a loud sob escaping passed his lips. Jimin got up to follow him.

Eyes scanned each person one-by-one as they entered, everyone wanting to know who made it back okay. Were their mates okay? Was it the person they loved most who didn’t make it back? The group in the living room watched as members of Jiung’s pack entered, all silently crying as they filed in. Jaesang, Hanbin, Jinyoung, Baekhan, Hyojun – all of them had tears in their eyes and sliding down their cheeks. But even Seungcheol’s pack looked upset. The alpha himself entered, head bowed and tears brimming his eyes as he tried to not cry in front of his pack. It wasn’t until Jooyeon cried out his name and ran into his arms that he sobbed into her hair.

They realized once everyone was inside that it was the alpha of the pack that had helped them that didn’t make it back. Jiung had died.

The reunions were sweet, and almost made everyone in Seungcheol’s pack forget about whatever had happened. Jia clung to Minghao’s arm, frantically whispering things to him in Mandarin as she sniffled and kissed his cheek -- even giving Junhui a quick peck on the cheek and telling him she was happy he was safe. Wonwoo enveloped his sister and his mate in a tight hug, kissing both of their heads before taking his niece in his arms and cooing to her while she slept.

And of course, brothers and sisters hugged each other and said their forms of love and caring. Joshua gave a stern look to Soomin before he hugged her and complained for scaring him half to death. Jihoon gave Suvi a genuine smile as he patted her hand and told her he was happy she was finally safe. Seungkwan threw his arms dramatically around Chan and cried that their “baby is okay”. Even Soonyoung strolled up to Jooyeon casually, giving her a side-hug as he grinned down at her.

“Saw some of those assholes with knives in their chests,” he commented like it was nothing. “I’m proud of you, Yeon. You defended your pack.”

“I’d do it again if I had to,” she told him with a proud smile before Soonyoung squeezed her shoulder again.

“Let’s hope we don’t have to,” Seokmin spoke up.

“So, what happened in town?” Wonwoo had asked as the pack finally settled into the living room to discuss the aftermath.

Things were calmer now. Mates were relaxed together, Wonwoo and Danbi were sitting beside each other on the couch and softly talking to each other, and Eunjin looked peaceful as she looked curiously around the room. For once, things felt normal, which was a rare occurrence for the pack.

“I can assure you that the son-of-a-bitch Donghae is dead,” Soonyoung nodded. “Our little Suvi is safe – oh, and happy birthday, by the way.”

Chan held Suvi a little closer to his side – he had returned from disposing of the tracker, and Suvi’s arm was healed thanks to Joshua – pressing a kiss to her temple and making the girl blush. It made both packs happy knowing that he didn’t have to worry about her anymore. He could just be with her.

“Does anybody care to explain the _____ situation?” Danbi wondered slowly. “She freaked out before she left, and came back out cold.”

Obviously the pack had noticed Hansol hadn’t come back yet even though they’d seen Rika wandering around, so nobody was sure what happened to him or you. Those who weren’t there to see what happened did, however, notice Wonwoo’s gold eyes suddenly look down at the floor. Danbi just knew he did to you what he had done to Jooyeon her first night at the wolves’ house.

“Well…” Soomin began, since she was one of two mates to come with the pack.

Jeonghan clamped a hand over her mouth.

Danbi, however, knew that this was a dead giveaway that you being passed out was her brother’s doing, “Wonwoo!”

“It’s not his fault,” Hanbin suddenly appeared from the kitchen, carrying two mugs in his hand, which he started handing to mates. “_____ was becoming hysterical.”

“Somebody didn’t come back. Who died?” Jia wondered bluntly, though her voice was soft.

She was the only one who didn’t know because nobody wanted to be the one to tell her. Jiung’s pack was grieving and they could hear everything. Nobody wanted to talk about it and make it worse.

Hanbin sighed, a crease forming between his brows, “Our alpha, Jiung.”

“He sacrificed himself for Hansol,” Eunjin spoke up, her voice quiet and airy like her head was somewhere else – and judging from the spacey look, it was. “That’s why I thought Hansol was the death… He indirectly caused it…”

“But Hansol’s also _____’s mate,” Seungcheol continued, making the mates and Chan look up at him in surprise.

Before anyone could say anything, though, Danbi spoke up, “That doesn’t explain why Wonwoo had a vile of that sedative with him!”

Her brother just shrugged, “After Jooyeon, I just kept it on me.”

Hanbin continued to go back and forth from the kitchen – eventually assisted by his mate, Jimin – until each of the pack had a hot cup of tea in their hands. It had started pouring after the pack came inside, but the rain eased up as the tension in the room became less and less. Still, water continued to fall from the sky, and Seokmin refused to look at anybody as he sipped his tea.

“You can all stay here for a little while before going to the other house,” Hanbin said, mustering up a soft smile. “I’m sure Hansol wants to be with _____ anyway.”

“What happens to her?” Joshua suddenly asked. “From what I know, if the werewolf had a werewolf sibling by blood, the sibling becomes alpha.”

“An alpha can also denounce their alpha status if they leave their pack,” Soomin spoke up, being an expert on this thanks to Beom. “If Kyung chooses, she doesn’t have to be their alpha. However, if she wants to be alpha but chooses to come with us to be with Hansol–”

“Doubtful,” Jeonghan commented.

“–then she cannot be her pack’s alpha,” Soomin concluded, ignoring Jeonghan.

“Look, that’s _____’s choice,” Seungcheol spoke up, “and she’s not around, so let’s not discuss it.”

“Let’s discuss how Wonwoo drugged yet another girl,” Danbi spoke up, making the pack erupt with laughter, happy her comment could ease more of the somberness. “You’re really on a roll, Woo.”

“Yeah, he’s really a peach,” Soomin nodded, making Wonwoo’s face turn red as he smiled and rolled his eyes.

The pack started to fall asleep in various places of the living room, but Eunjin had noticed Seungcheol excused himself and never returned. She recalled him going outside, so since she was one of the only people still awake -- the voices wouldn’t let her sleep -- she decided to go see what was up. She figured he just couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t blame him considering the events that had occurred.

Eunjin opened the front door and poked her head out. Standing by the railing of the porch was Seungcheol, looking up at the stars. She stepped outside and softly closed the door, walking over to stand beside him. The wood of the deck was cold on her bare feet but it felt nice.

Even though Eunjin sometimes unintentionally snuck up on even the wolves, the alpha knew she was there and began talking to her, still staring up at the stars, “Do you believe in Heaven?”

Her brows furrowed, “What?”

“I wonder if that’s where Jiung ended up,” he continued, his voice soft. “Or maybe ghosts exist and he’s still around. I don’t know if those voices are ghosts or just...something else.”

Eunjin frowned, looking up at Seungcheol, “You don’t feel guilty, do you?”

He shrugged, “I just feel…sad. He shouldn’t have died. He wasn’t just a leader and a pack brother, he was somebody’s twin brother. He was such a caring person, it just– The whole situation just sucks.”

They both knew the pack was worried for Hansol because of what happened. You blamed him, and Hansol even blamed himself. Not only that, but Joshua pointed out that you weren’t doing well emotionally, and clearly lashed out without thinking things through. If you did anything to yourself, nobody was sure what would happen to Hansol. Sure, he would be patient with you, but if you just flat out denied him, you’d both die. If you ran off and did something to yourself… The question that people wondered was if Hansol would be able to carry on like Joshua had, or if the heartache would be too much for him.

Seungcheol was probably more worried about that right now. Hansol was the second youngest in the pack and Seungcheol wanted to make sure he’d be okay. The alpha wanted to somehow help, but he didn’t know how to. What could he say to help the situation? What could anybody say?

“Where’s Hansol?” the banshee wondered quietly.

“He’s just waiting outside _____’s door,” he replied with a sigh, finally looking away from the stars to look down at his hand on the railing. “He wants to give her space, but he wants to be there for her, too. Jaesang told him that _____’s feeling just as conflicted.”

“Sounds familiar,” she murmured, raising your eyebrows as she recalled not only her own confliction with Seungkwan, but the stories she heard of the alpha and Jooyeon.

Seungcheol chuckled, his golden eyes looking down at his sister, “Kinda does, huh? I guess our pack has an issue with conflicting feelings.”

Eunjin let out a soft sigh and simply nodded. She thought it would be weird to tell Seungcheol that she had a feeling everything would eventually be okay because of what the voices were telling her, so she opted to just leave the conversation on a somewhat lighthearted note.

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 3 years

Text

here’s 7.1k of Toni pining and Shelby and Toni being childhood friends and also far more character analysis of Rachel than I was expecting? also Marcus is real and I made him a gorgeous himbo. it’s based off that poem by @theycallmedizzy and you can find it here. lmk if you want a second chapter from shelby’s perspective, tho i literally just finished this one. like literally ten minute ago.

Mr. Williams finishes reading the poem and looks over his spectacles at the class. Yes, they’re spectacles, those kind of tiny thick ones that make his eyes too big because he’s much too old to be teaching.

It’s eight am on a Tuesday, Toni walked the three miles to school because she missed the bus only to walk into her shitty honors English class and hear the teacher reading a poem aloud to the class. Her poem. She’d sat down after a momentary pause and listened to him read the final damning stanza.

And then he looks at Toni.

He reads her essays right? What if he recognizes her writing voice? Is that a thing? Or maybe her handwriting or—

“Toni, I was just explaining to the class that whoever wrote this should submit it to the state literature festival,” Mr. Williams says, Toni almost sags against her chair. “I was hoping someone would come forward,” He turns back to the class, eyes hovering over Quinn and Monty, two of the more sensitive guys who sit in the back and ruin the curve for everyone. “But I’ll leave it on the board here,” he clacks it on with a magnet and Toni flinches, “and hopefully someone will come forward. Now onto today’s lesson.”

After class Martha goes up to the board and takes a picture of it, her eyes a little starry at the words and Toni grits her teeth.

“You have to admit it’s pretty,” Martha says. “Even you can’t deny that.”

“It’s dumb,” Toni says flatly, crossing her arms.

“Well I’m keeping it anyway, maybe someday someone will write a poem about me,” Martha says.

“How do you know it’s not about you?” Shelby asks coming out of nowhere and uninvited too. Toni glares at her, letting her open disdain shine through like sunshine through clouds after a gully washer.

“No guys notice me,” Martha informs Shelby sadly. “I bet Andrew wrote it for you.”

Shelby purses her lips and looks over the poem, “I doubt it. He’s more of a doer, I think. Besides, I’m sure that guys notice you, you went on a date with that boy Sam last month.”

Martha sighs and before she can launch into what a disaster that date was, Toni tightens her hands around her backpack.

“I’ll see you in science,” She tells Martha and manages to escape Shelby’s eyes burning at the back of her neck.

———

reasons not to kiss her

1.) this sort of love is not allowed. you are both too soft, and the world around you is all knives and chipped teeth

Toni had played about every sport she was allowed to growing up. Basketball was her favorite, but she loved beat it ball, the game she made up with the other kids in the neighborhood. It was basketball but without rules, devolving into fist fights within the first half. Nothing tasted better than her own bloody lip on a hot summer day. Not even the cool glass of lemonade Mrs. Blackburn always had ready when she ran all skinned knees to Martha’s telling her about how she beat guys two years older than her.

She got angry when she had to stop playing, moving to a different neighborhood. Apparently, Mrs. Blackburn had figured out that she wasn’t only getting her split lip from the older kids in the neighborhood.

The new foster parents were a little stricter, a little richer, and signed her up for youth soccer when she complained about how there was nothing to do without beat it ball.

Martha Blackburn would always be her person, but Toni didn’t expect to find her people so young. Dottie killed as goalie, and Becca’s sweetness made her defense all the better. But it was Shelby and Toni who were the dynamic duo. Toni had a never ending amount of energy as a midfielder and Shelby’s precision made her the perfect striker. It worked the same way every game, Becca would kick it to Toni, who got it to Shelby, who scored a goal. It got to the point that Becca didn’t even need to do much and the coach had to pull Toni aside to tell her to pass to the other girls too.

At the end of the season they sat together at the team party, wearing orange slice smiles. With sticky fingers they held hands and Toni kinda wondered how someone’s eyes could be so green.

Toni doesn’t remember why Shelby’s parents were so angry about them holding hands, but she knows Mr. Goodkind talked to her foster parents and Toni was off to a different home, in a different district, and she lost even Martha for a few months.

———

At lunch everyone’s talking about that fucking poem. Martha sent it around to the whole school and Leah is discussing its merits with Rachel and Nora. Even they don’t seem bored with the topic, though Nora is sure Quinn didn’t write it.

“It could be Monty,” Leah says. “I wouldn’t have thought he had an eye for this stuff.”

“I don’t think it’s Monty,” Rachel says. She looks at Nora, “C’mon, you know what I’m talking about, right?”

“What?” Nora asks.

“I mean it smells like Anna Akhmatova had a baby with Adrienne Rich,” Rachel says.

“Who had a baby with who?” Martha asks.

“Please,” Fatin says. “You’re not exactly the world’s leading expert on free form poetry.”

“Uh, I know when something’s written by a girl,” Rachel says. “I bet you fifty bucks some closet case wrote this.”

Everyone looks at Toni. “You caught me,” Toni deadpans.

“Rachel’s right,” Nora says. “A girl definitely wrote this. Toni, do you know anyone?”

Toni glares at her. “I’ll shake the lesbian phone tree and see what comes out.”

“Well, could it be Regan?” Martha asks. “Maybe she wants to—”

“It’s not fucking Regan,” Toni grabs her books and stalks out, kicking a chair randomly strewn around away as she did.

She hears Shelby sit down just as she leaves, “What’s got her madder than a baptized cat?” Shelby asks and Toni rolls her eyes.

———

2.) no one ever taught you how to love. your war paint and scarred hands could never hold her like she deserves

The worst of it was that Shelby was gentle. Her hands were warm and soft around Toni’s callouses, and there was a crinkle between her eyebrows as she focused on Toni’s hands. No, the worst of it was that Shelby didn’t let go of Toni’s hands when she finished, kept holding onto them as she met Toni’s eyes.

“Well?”

Toni swallowed hard, “I’m not gonna apologize.”

Shelby sighed, her thumb traced little circles around Toni’s hands. “I know today ain’t easy for you.” Toni scoffed and looked away. “But you know you were pickin' a fight. Andrew promised to leave you alone.”

Toni ripped her hands away and jumped from the bench of the locker room. “What the fuck do you know? You weren’t fucking there.”

Shelby’s calm only made Toni’s anger redder, “You ain’t denying it.”

“Why the fuck are you dating him? He’s a self-satisfied little asshole who just wants a little trophy girlfriend to—”

“Toni,” Shelby cut her off sharply and got to her feet, meeting Toni’s eyes.

“You’re not denying that either,” Toni spat.

She could’ve screamed at the hypocrisy. She wanted to scream. She wanted to pound her fists against the walls and bleed all over the bandages Shelby wrapped around her knuckles. She wanted to hurt, to make Shelby hurt. She wanted everyone to see and feel how hurt she was, and hurt them with that hurt. Finally level the playing field.

“Andrew is my business,” Shelby said. “Not yours.”

“He becomes my business when you—”

“When I what?” Shelby asked.

Toni looked at her hands, “Never mind.”

Shelby sighed, “Martha’s helping you move in today, right? Shel’ll be there the whole time?”

“Don’t pretend you give a shit.”

“Of course I care. The last time you lived with your mom you didn’t eat for a week.”

“I was five, not fifteen,” Toni said. “And seriously, stop pretending you give a shit.”

She shoulder checked Shelby as she walked out and winced at the sound of Shelby hitting the gym lockers. Her hands still sting where Andrew’s teeth had scrapped them.

———

Regan approaches Toni during science, her eyes serious. Martha straightens, and Toni does her best not to make eye contact.

“It’s not mine,” Regan says.

“Yeah duh,” Toni mutters.

Regan frowns, “I just—I didn’t want you to—”

“You made it perfectly clear what you want,” Toni says.

Regan sighs and leaves and Toni regrets it.

“Shelby thinks it’s Marcus,” Martha tells her. Toni blinks up at her and Martha nods. “She thinks he wrote it for me.”

“Martha, that kid is dumber than a box of rocks,” Toni says.

Martha furrows her brow, “Maybe he has hidden depths.”

“If you think it’s him ask him out,” Toni says.

“Shelby thinks it’s him,” Martha is quick to correct. “But he doesn’t even know who I am.”

Toni rolls her eyes. Marcus had been in love with Martha since the ninth grade. They had gotten placed as lab partners and he literally didn’t take his eyes off her the entire time. Every time there was a dance he would always look like he was about to say something, shoot his shot, when Martha would loudly proclaim she couldn’t wait to go with her friends.

Toni would’ve pulled the guy aside and told him to grow a pair, but a guy who’s not brave enough to go after what he wants wasn’t good enough for her Marty, not by a long shot.

“Rachel still thinks a girl wrote it,” Martha says.

“Maybe Rachel wrote it,” Toni mutters.

Martha’s eyes light up.

———

3.) no one has ever loved you this full surely you would drown in it all

Being a lifeguard was the worst. It was super boring, the pay was shit, and also Toni would probably get someone killed. Like, they pretended she was CPR certified but she absolutely had no idea how to do it. She went to some hour long course, slept through it, took a test that was just: should you kill people? And then they wrote some bullshit on some papers about a three week long set of classes.

But Shelby was tanned and golden looking and on their shifts they’d text back and forth about which kids they were betting on to win sharks and minnows. Tweenage boys in all their adolescent infancy would gaze open mouthed at Shelby and Toni alike but Shelby was the only one who let them down gently. Toni would ruin them for girls forever with something enough to cut through even the thickest skin.

On the fourth of July the pool paid for fireworks and Toni found a blanket and Shelby found her and they sat watching the reflections of the lights together. Shelby rested her head on Toni’s shoulder, all gentle, like she was afraid Toni would spook.

“I know this ain’t much of a holiday for you,” Shelby said. “But thank you for spending it with me.”

She had her hand on the blanket, splayed out like she was waiting for Toni to take it, there in front of everyone. Toni imagined a world in which she did.

———

“Yeah it’s not me,” Rachel says. “I wish I could write that good.”

Which is such bullshit because Toni knows Rachel could say well if she wanted to. Rachel’s weird inferiority complex about Nora pisses off Toni to no end. Nora’s the smart one, Rachel will be the first to say, and Rachel’s the athletic one. But Nora has a six minute mile and Rachel has perfect pitch so Toni hates them both.

“Maybe it’s Dot,” Toni suggests and Rachel, Nora, and Martha snicker.

Out of all of them, Martha’s the best driver, but they always end up in Rachel’s car after school anyway.

“Most of the school seems to think it’s by Andrew,” Nora says. Toni’s fists clench.

“Yeah,” Rachel rolls her eyes, “I’m sure he would love to take the credit. C’mon Toni, you don’t know any lesbians who could’ve written this?”

“You’re a lesbian too,” Toni says. “You don’t know any?”

“I don’t have a life outside of the pool,” Rachel says, “and none of them have picked up a book since Hop on Pop.”

“Regan says it wasn’t her,” Martha cuts in helpfully. “But maybe it’s another kid in theatre. Shelby says—”

“Oh my god,” Toni grits out. “What is everyone’s deal with her anyway? Why is everyone still obsessed with her? She’s just another basic Jesus bitch.”

The car goes quiet and Toni wishes she could melt into her seat cushion.

“I didn’t mean that,” Toni says.

“Except you did,” Martha snaps.

Toni winces.

“What’s your deal with her?” Rachel asks. “You guys were fine last year.”

“Quinn says there’s a poetry club,” Nora says. “Maybe it’s someone there?”

No one takes the bait and they don’t talk the rest of the way.

———

4.) she belongs in a museum, and you are merely here to gaze. look around you, all the signs scream ‘do not touch’

“Shelby?”

Toni grabbed the shoulder of the girl and pulled her away from Marcus. Shelby was bruised lips and ruined make up and Toni took her by the hand. Thank god Martha wasn’t here, thank god Andrew wasn’t here, thank god Marcus looked just as trashed.

“Toni?” Shelby sorta stumbled, her ankle twisting painfully on her heel and Toni steadied her.

Shelby could do a cartwheel in six inch heels.

“I’m gonna get you home, okay?” Toni called over the music.

Shelby didn’t really respond, just leant into Toni as she led her away and outside. The party had spilled into the backyard and front yard some, the cops probably already on their way, but everyone was too fucking hammered to notice them making their way out.

Shelby’s house was only about a twenty minute walk but it was cold and Toni was only wearing her basketball shorts and her mom’s jacket that she promptly put over Shelby’s shoulders.

“Are you still—” Shelby swallowed hard, “You’re still living with your mom?”

“Mostly with Martha,” Toni said.

“Martha’s great,” Shelby said. “She’s so pretty it makes my eyes hurt.”

“One of our finest,” Toni grunted as Shelby nearly fell on her heels again.

“She could be a model,” Shelby told her. “We should get waffle house.”

“Shelbs, we’re nowhere near a waffle house.”

“What was Becca’s order? At waffle house?”

Toni sighed, looping an arm around her. “I dunno.”

“Neither do I,” Shelby said.

“I’m sorry, Shelby,” Toni said.

Shelby shook her head and stopped right there, circling her arms around Toni and pressing her into a hug. Toni closed her eyes, holding her back as tightly as she dared.

“Oh, Shelby, I’m so fucking sorry.”

———

“Day two!” Mr. Williams calls. He taps the poem again, “I will investigate the handwriting if the poet doesn’t come forward by Friday. I know it’s someone in one of my classes.”

His eyes narrow as he takes them all in and his eyes don’t linger on Toni. Not even for a moment.

There’s a part of her that wants to march up to the front of the room and write her name down, make eye contact with everyone who never even considered her before. But no one expects shit from her, and even if he does go over the handwriting he won’t really be able to pin it on her. He might not even bother checking to see if it matches.

Toni tries not to jump when Marcus takes the seat in front of her during quant lit. It’s not like they have assigned seating but everyone sticks to the same seats anyway. Marcus won’t get shit for it though, perks of being the quarterback.

“So, listen,” he scratches the back of his head and Toni rolls her eyes at him. “I know we aren’t really friends but I—um.”

“Marcus,” Toni says.

“I wanna ask Martha out,” Marcus rushes out. “She’s like the nicest, smartest, coolest girl in the school and like her eyes are out of this world radical.” Radical? “And I would take her somewhere nice like Olive Garden. Or Cheesecake Factory? And pay for it, and open all the doors for her, and I’d carry her books to class—”

“On your date? This is happening during school?” Toni asks.

His eyebrows furrow as he tries to connect the dots. Football players.

“Oh no! I meant like, after, if she wants me to,” He says. “Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Can I ask her out?”

Toni blinks at him. “What?”

“My buddy said if you want to get with a girl you get close to the best friend first, and I figured I’d ask you for your blessing because that’s what they do in old fashioned stuff right?” He bounces up in down in his seat. “Can I? Or like, do you wanna give me your blessing?”

She feels like she’s having an aneurysm.

Listen, Marcus having feelings for Martha is one thing. Everyone on the planet who’s ever met Martha falls a little in love with her. That’s kinda just how she operates. Toni narrowly avoided that pitfall by being lucky enough to know her since she was five, but it was a tough time. But Marcus was never gonna act on it. Marcus can’t—he’s the quarterback.

It’s basic math, Marcus is a six foot five football player with shoulders wide enough to bench press the Subaru Forrester Toni’s legally required to buy when she turns thirty-two. He’s got that all American boy smile that shows of perfectly white teeth, and dark hair that sweeps in front of his eyes. His face looks like it was sculpted out of marble, like literally he looks like some sort of roman god, except if that roman god volunteered at the humane society on the weekends and called his mom Mami.

Martha is a res girl who’s best friend is the dyke with anger issues. And like yeah, she’s stupid pretty, but Marcus has exclusively dated varsity cheerleaders since the seventh grade.

So yeah, even if Marcus may have feelings for Marty, everyone fucking does, and there’s a host of reasons why she doesn’t have a date to every dance and a new guy every week. And most of them are the cliche high school movie hierarchy sort.

“It’s really none of my business, man,” she says.

“Dude, it’s totally your business,” Marcus says. He leans closer, “you two are like sisters right? What do I gotta do to prove I’m not gonna hurt her? I’ll do your math homework for a month, no two months.”

A thought occurs to Toni and it’s a terrible one. But when has that ever stopped her?

“You’re in my honors English class right?”

Marcus’s face screws in, “Uh, yeah. But I don’t think you want me doing your homework in there, I’m like totally failing.”

“I have a better idea.”

———

5.) she touches you like youre fragile, and if you break you wont be able put yourself together again

Dot was asleep which was Toni’s first indication that something was deeply wrong. The second was that Shelby wasn’t. She was definitely trying her darnedest, but Toni could tell she was awake. Awake in her arms.

Toni shifted, just enough to let Shelby know she was awake too. The movie was some horror flick, something dumb and flashy and almost muted it was so quiet. It was the only thing rated R that they could all agree on. Dot’s house was the only place they were allowed to watch anything rated R when they were still thirteen, so it was all they watched there.

She felt Shelby shift up, so her head rested on Toni’s chest, shifted until her lips met Toni’s clavicle.

Toni wondered if she’d die.

Shelby went up instead of down, pressing kisses up the length of Toni’s neck, soft barely there things that made Toni’s breath catch as she watched Dot snore on the couch next to them.

Toni’s hands moved to the inside of Shelby’s thighs and they stared there, tracing delicate patterns that only made Shelby curl closer.

“I think you’re probably the most beautiful girl I ever saw,” Shelby whispered.

“I—”

“I’m not done.”

Toni’s mouth clamped shut.

“I think about you all the time,” Shelby whispered. “Even when I—”

“Shelby,” Toni warned. Shelby pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“You’re right,” Shelby said.

Neither of them slept that night.

———

Toni walks into class three minutes late with Mr. Williams, and takes her seat with a sulk.

“He still won’t let me redo that paper,” Toni mutters to Martha who’s eyes are wide.

“Toni, Marcus just—” She nods her head at the poem where Mr. Williams is studying it too.

“Marcus Gonzales?” Mr. Williams asks.

Marcus gets to his feet.

“You wrote this?”

“Yessir.”

“This poem right here?”

“Yessir.”

Mr. Williams blinks and takes off his spectacles, setting them down on the desk. “We’ll talk after class. I should hope everyone has a copy of—”

“I wrote it for Martha,” Marcus doesn’t sit down and the entire class stares at him.

“—Franny and Zooey and I would like you all to turn to page 52. Begin by annotating—”

“Martha, can I take you out on a date?” Marcus asks.

“—this first section, and on to page 64. Remember what Seymour serves as in—”

Martha blushes hard and glances at Toni who smiles before she looks back at Marcus in all his golden boy 6’5” glory.

“Um, okay,” she mutters out and he grins.

“Cool.” Marcus finally sits and gives Toni a thumbs up. She rolls her eyes.

“—this story and compare that to his roles in the other parts of the work we’ve read.”

“I told you it was for you, girl,” Shelby says on Martha’s other side. “People always have a way of surprising you.”

———

6.) she is all bubblegum skies and chapped stick kisses, and you cannot watch the love run out of another persons eyes

They were all a little bit slap happy by the end of the night. A little bit drunk, a little bit high, and laughing far too hard at one another.

“I’m scared,” Shelby told them, still grinning wider than any pageant smile.

“Girl, you picked dare,” Fatin said.

“I did,” Shelby bit her lip. “But all y’all dared Leah to do was finish the vodka.”

“That was—that was bad vodka,” Leah slurred from her position on Dot’s lap.

“But now we’re out of vodka,” Martha sang. “You picked dare.”

“I’ll go with you,” Toni got to her feet, surprised when they were more steady than she assumed they’d be. “Two chairs right?”

“Alright,” Shelby said. “And you’ll hold my hand?”

“Sure princess,” Toni rolled her eyes.

It was an office supply place, probably. The parking lot had this killer decline, and it was one of those spring nights where nothing could really ruin anything. Not forever.

The rolling chairs were kinda gross, left there but not yet picked up by the garbage men. They had to do a special pickup for that, which costed extra. No one in the office had done it for the weeks the girls had been going there after parties.

“Be careful,” Nora urged.

“Don’t fall,” Rachel suggested.

“Hold on, I’m not recording yet,” Fatin said. “Okay now go.”

They pushed off in their rolling chairs, holding hands, and sped down the decline laughing as they barely managed to hold on and steer at the same time.

Toni went flying as she bumped into a patch of grass and for some reason, Shelby went flying with her, landing on top. Toni grunted, but she wasn’t in pain, not really.

They met eyes.

“Sorry,” Shelby said. She didn’t sound sorry.

“You okay?” Toni asked.

Shelby smiled, this real soft thing, Toni wondered what it’d taste like.

“Fuck yeah bitches! I’m so putting that on snapchat!” Fatin screamed and Shelby pulled away, turning white.

“God if this is you in in freshman year, I’m terrified of you as a senior,” Toni called back.

Shelby’s hand slipped out of her’s and Toni tried very very hard not to overthink it.

———

“So I’ve been thinking,” Leah said. Toni took her gym bag out of her locker, pretty much the only thing she kept in there.

“Oh no.”

“Rachel was right about that poem being written by a girl,” Leah continued. “Which meant Marcus lied. And Marcus would never do that unless someone gave him permission to take credit. And since Marcus lied so he could ask Martha out that means the person who wrote the poem wanted Martha to be happy.”

Toni swallowed hard and tried not to fumble with the lock, stumbling with it.

“Toni,” Leah walked over to her. “You need to face the facts: Shelby’s into you.”

Toni blinked, “What?”

“She wrote that whole poem for you, don’t tell me you don’t see it. It’s about you!”

“She—” Toni stopped and furrowed her brow, finally making eye contact with Leah, “You think she wrote that poem for me?”

Leah nodded, “And she let Marcus take the credit. Listen, I know I’m right. I’ve been thinking about it for ages. Whatever fight the two of you had—you need to get over it. She’s into you, Toni. She’s been into you.”

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” Toni told her. “Seriously, fuck you Leah and fuck off. This is none of your fucking business.”

“You aren’t denying it,” Leah crowed. “Shelby likes you.”

“No she fucking doesn’t!” Toni spat at her. “She fucking hates me! She didn’t write that poem Marcus did! For Martha!”

Leah’s brow furrowed, “But… but you wanted her to. Didn’t you?”

Toni looked away.

“Shelby’s actually straight, isn’t she?” Leah asked. “Fuck Toni.”

“I’m happy for Martha,” Toni said, and marched away.

———

7.) if you jump, she might catch you, and then youd have to watch as she tumbled through the dark

“What if we ran away?” Shelby asked, which was Toni’s third indication that the punch was spiked.

The first two were her arms wrapped around Toni’s waist, swaying in the soft breeze to the distant music of Junior prom.

“Oh yeah?” Toni asked. “Where’d we go?”

“Peru,” Shelby said. “Or LA, or New York or—” Shelby sort of trailed off, losing her thought halfway through it.

“Our parents,” Toni pointed out. She’d moved in with Martha a few months ago but her mom had taken it as a wakeup call, promising to get her shit back together as soon as she could. Toni couldn’t help but believe her, even if it put her in stasis.

“Right,” Shelby sounded cold, “Our parents.”

“Are things worse with them?” Toni asked.

“No,” Shelby said. “The same, really. They’ve lightened up since—since Becca. Have you heard from your mom?”

“Every week or so,” Toni said. “And if you ever need a break you know—“

“Martha is happy to have me,” Shelby finished.

Toni smiled and pulled away enough to meet Shelby’s eyes, her hands slid from behind Shelby’s neck to either side.

“Did I tell you you look beautiful tonight?” Toni asked.

“You did,” Shelby said.

“Can I say it again?”

“You can.”

“You look beautiful tonight.” Shelby closed her eyes and Toni tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re gonna get out, you know that right?”

Shelby nodded, leaning into Toni’s hand.

Later, Toni will learn that was one of two lies Shelby told that night.

———

Martha gets home at 11:30, exactly when Marcus promised, and Toni smiles as her sister collapses backwards into her bed.

“Toni,” she actually giggles, giggles like a little school girl. “It was amazing.”

“Where’d you go?” Toni asks.

“Olive Garden, I think he was trying to win points with you,” Martha says.

“As he should,” Toni nods.

“He was the perfect gentleman,” Martha swoons. She rolls onto her stomach and looks at Toni and oh god, Toni knows that look. “He did tell me something about you, though.”

“Oh yeah? How I’m better in quant lit than him?” Toni asks.

“He told me you wrote the poem,” she says.

Toni looks away, “Okay, and?”

“You told me you were over Regan,” Martha says.

“It’s complicated,” Toni decides. “And whatever. I wrote it awhile ago anyway.”

“Have you thought about submitting it to that contest Mr. Williams was talking about?” Martha asks.

“Can we go back to talking about your date with Prince Charming?” Toni says. Martha acquiesces, she’s too damn giddy to do anything else.

———

8.) her gaze is too gentle. you will not be the one to tell her that not everything can be fixed with a smile

“Toni,” Dot began, and Toni could tell she was looking at her. “Toni, is Shelby—is she gay?”

Toni snickered, “Dot, Shelby is possibly the biggest straight girl in our school. Maybe our state. She’d sooner give herself a buzzcut than she would ever even kiss a girl."

“Andrew said Shelby got a job as a counselor at this church camp—Guiding Light—in Plano,” Dot said. “I wanted to find the address so I could write to her and it’s a conversion camp.”

The breath left Toni’s body.

“What?”

“And I got to thinking,” Dot said. “About what a mess she was after Becca died this year. Ignoring us, going to all those parties, signing up for a crazy number of pageants. Hell, it was only once you two started talking that she talked to us again.”

“Stop it, Dot.”

“Toni is Shelby gay?”

“Dot,” Toni said.

“Because if she’s gay, if she’s not there as a camp counselor—Toni, did you know about this?”

“Of course not! Jesus!” Toni said. She jumped to her feet and started to pace, “Jesus Christ. Oh my god.”

“Toni is Shelby gay?”

Toni looked at Dot and Dot sighed, her entire body sagging.

“What do we do?” Toni asked.

Dot, her solid, steady, friend since fucking youth soccer was silent.

“Dot, what do we do?”

“Dot, what the fuck do we do?”

———

Shelby finds her before school, Toni smoking like she hasn’t since ninth grade when Bernice gave her a stern lecture about lung cancer. It made Toni cry, actually. Not because it was so stern but because Martha and Toni had been separated for three years and Bernice still cared enough to get angry with her. She promised then and there to stop, and each drag she took now makes her feel like she’s committing treason.

“Smokin’ kills,” Shelby tells her, like they didn’t all go to Dot’s dad’s funeral last year.

Toni takes another drag, just to watch Shelby roll her eyes.

“How’d Martha’s date go last night?” Shelby asks.

Toni glares, “Seriously? You avoid me all year and now you’re asking about Martha’s date?” Shelby looks away. “It went fine. Whatever.”

“I just—I was surprised Marcus wrote that poem is all.”

“You literally said multiple times you thought it was him,” Toni says.

“I know, I know but—”

“Still holding out hope for Andrew?” Toni sneers. “Marcus may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he cares about Martha. Even a fucking idiot could write a half decent poem if they had someone worth writing about.”

Shelby meets her eyes and Toni’s breath catches.

“Know a lot about poetry, Toni?”

Fuck fuck fuck.

Toni flicks the only half used cigarette away. “I have to go to class,” She says, aware it’s just about the worst thing she can do.

Shelby doesn’t even need the last word, she’s aware she’s already won.

———

9.) she is so good. she is so good, and you cannot ruin one more good thing

It hadn’t been the first time Toni found her mom overdosed on the couch, but it’d been the most terrifying. Toni had waited in the school parking lot for a pick up for twenty minutes before Shelby had offered her a ride.

When they trooped inside, after having to use the key Tamera kept tucked away in a loose brick, her mom had been passed out on the couch. And the stupid thing had been that Toni had known her mom hadn’t been doing great. Like she’d known Tamera had lost her job, and was close to losing the car, that the pain in her back had been getting worse again from stress. Toni had known that.

But for some stupid, naive reason, Toni had never thought she’d pull this, go back to who she was.

Her tolerance was low, the doctors had told her, because she’d been clean for so long. She hadn’t realized it and had taken more than she could handle.

Shelby had taken the three of them to the hospital, helped carry Toni’s drooling mother into the ER, and held Toni’s hand until the other girls showed up, who she texted to come.

Shelby had been there when the police and social services came to talk to her about going back into foster care. Shelby had never left her side.

Toni couldn’t help but contrast that to the Shelby she saw now. The Shelby who showed up for senior year was barely christian, barely anything, just sort of blank and empty and waiting to grow up so she could have daughters that'd also wait to grow up so that they could have daughters that’d also wait to grow up so that they could have daughters that’d also

Shelby didn’t even look at her, for the first week of senior year she didn’t even look at Toni. She talked with Martha in that faux friendly way, she passed off on lunch invitations to do school work and Toni felt like she was going insane.

Sometimes she would just stare at the back of Shelby’s head in English class, writing whatever gibberish came to mind, and not listening to Mr. Williams at all. Just stare, for forty-five minutes, at a girl who wouldn’t even make eye contact, Toni’s pencil moving rapidly as she barely even glanced at the words her hands produced.

On the last day of the semester Toni finally looked away and came to two realizations:

a. Her mother was never getting better. Not really. b. Toni had written P E R U over forty times in her notebook.

As quietly as she could she tore the page out, and maybe about fifteen pages behind it, filled with similar drivel and recycled them at the end of class.

When the next semester started the seats were changed and something she’d written that she barely remembered was on the board.

Her mother was still in rehab.

———

Toni watches Marcus carry Martha’s backpack to class and watches as Martha giggles at him, argues with him. She is literally so happy it makes Toni’s heart burst.

“Shelby’s quite the matchmaker, huh?” Fatin asks.

Toni looks at her.

“Leah told me,” Fatin explains.

Toni rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I said too,” Fatin says. “Leah’s good at noticing things but putting the pieces together is not her strong suit. So I called Dorothy.”

This makes Toni’s shoulders tense and Fatin wraps an arm around them.

“Dorothy didn’t want to talk but what she didn’t say was enough.” Fatin sighs, “I’m all for a little drama but this is cutting into my me time.”

“What going from twenty-four hours a day to twenty-three and a half?” Toni asks.

“God forbid,” Fatin nods sagely. “I didn’t know you could write.”

“I can’t.”

“Clearly not.”

Toni slips out from under her arm, and follows Martha into class. Mr. Williams glares as she comes in and Toni realizes if Marcus came clean to Martha he definitely came clean to Mr. Williams. At least the poem is off the board.

When he passes out papers from a recent essay her’s has a “see me after class” sticker that makes Toni slide down in her seat. Martha doesn’t even notice enough to give her an odd look because she and Shelby are yukking it up about the quarterback.

When everyone files out she hangs back and he looks at her, over his spectacles.

“I’m disappointed,” he says at last.

Toni scoffs.

“You write essays based off spark notes, you never participate, and half the time you don’t even do the homework. But you write this.” He slides the crumpled paper over his desk, her poem shining back at her. “So all I can conclude is that you’re lazy.”

Yeah, obviously.

“Why did you have Marcus tell everyone he wrote it?” Mr. Williams asks.

“So he could ask out Martha.”

“He didn’t need to have written the poem to do that,” Mr. Williams says.

“Can I go?” Toni asks.

“I want to submit this poem to a contest, I want you to start trying in this class, and this,” he hands her a slip of paper with about twenty sets of numbers on it, “is a list of Dickinson poems I want you to read by next week. Pick at least three to write me at least a page about. Single spaced.”

“What?” Toni asks, “You can’t make me do that.”

“I know half the kids in this class write off spark notes, I can easily have them all—including you—fail. So yes, yes I can actually.” He takes off his spectacles and Toni glares at him. “You’re a smart kid, Toni. You’ve got a talent for this.”

Toni shakes her head, “I’m a one hit wonder.”

“You know Britney Spears said the same thing after Baby One More Time.”

“That’s not true,” Toni says.

“Yeah,” Mr. Williams says. “Because she kept working at it.”

And Toni takes the slip of paper with the numbers on it, and marches to her next class and he watches her the whole way, not bothering to put on his stupid spectacles.

———

10.) you will not watch her crumble under the weight of your sins. she is too light, too breathless to be caught up in the dizziness of your heart

Dot didn’t invite them all to the funeral but they came anyway, even Shelby who Toni knew had been waffling back and forth.

Some of his army friends showed up, a doctor or two, and Mateo—the hot nurse Dot steadily ignored. It was a small and quiet service, and the seven of them sat towards the back, holding steady for her.

There was too much on Dot’s shoulders, there always had been, but she didn’t look any freer now that the burden was lifted. She just looked scared, small, and sad.

Toni couldn’t help but wonder if that was what she’d look like, if she got the call about her mom. It was a terribly selfish thought but who could blame her?

Shelby’s hands interlocked with hers, in broad daylight, and stayed there for the entire day. When Toni met her eyes she saw pure terror reflected back at her.

God, were they really only seventeen?

———

Rachel is complaining at lunch about owing Nora five bucks, how she was so sure some closet case wrote the poem but it’s no surprise Nora got it right.

Fatin and Leah don’t contribute and Martha probably wouldn’t have either except she was eating lunch with Marcus, they had found their own little table and were smiling at one another.

“They’re certainly cute together,” Shelby says, glancing back at Martha and Marcus.

“I say it’s weird they have the same name,” Rachel says.

“Says the girl who dated a guy named Raymond,” Nora says.

Rachel throws a straw wrapper at him, “That was a phase and you know it.”

“Marcus is sweet,” Shelby says. “If anyone deserves someone sweet it’s Martha.”

“Don’t you think he’s a little,” Leah trailed off and they all looked at her. “You know a little…”

“Spit it out, Leah,” Rachel says.

“Like the porch lights on but no one’s home?” Leah says.

“Martha is smart enough for the both of them,” Toni says. “And thank god because I was sick of doing his homework in quant lit.”

“That’s literally the easiest math class there is,” Fatin says and Toni shrugs.

“What’s that?” Shelby asks, pointing at the yellow slip sticking out of Toni’s binder.

“Some extra credit stuff, from Williams. Apparently I’m not doing so hot in that class,” Toni says.

Rachel leans way over from the other end of the table. “What is that, Dickinson?”

“It’s a list of numbers,” Shelby says. “Why would it be Dickinson?”

“All of Dickinson’s poems were numbered. It was only after she died that other people named them,” Nora says.

“And Nora said it so you know it’s true,” Rachel smirks.

“Join the fucking club,” Dot says to Toni. “I don’t know why y’all didn’t take non-honors English twelve with me. We just sit around and talk about whatever football game was on the most recently.”

“Well I’ve never liked football so.” Toni gets up, “I’ve gotta talk to my science teacher. I’ll see you guys after school.”

“I’ll go with you,” Shelby smiles and Toni clenches her jaw. “Ms. Roberts said I needed to rework my psych paper.”

“See you guys,” Rachel says and as they leave she’s arguing with Dot about why football is stupid and Toni can feel Fatin’s eyes on her all the way out.

———

reasons to kiss her

1.) she loves you, and her eyes are closed, and didnt your mother ever tell you not to leave a good thing waiting

Toni hated the magnet program kids at her middle school. Like everyone not in their cluster she found them annoying, rich, and privileged as fuck. They only hung out with each other and it was clear they’d never give—

———

“Toni?”

The stair well is empty, it’s the short cut through the language hallway and no one goes there during lunch.

Toni is working hard on ignoring Shelby but is forced to turn around when Shelby stops halfway up.

“Ms. Roberts doesn’t need me to rework my psych paper.”

Toni stares at her.

Shelby takes a step up, one step closer to Toni.

“I had hoped maybe you wrote it for Regan,” Shelby says.

“No such luck,” Toni croaks out.

“That’s a lot of reasons not to kiss someone,” Shelby says. “You’d think if you really shouldn’t kiss someone you’d only need the one.” She takes another step up, until they’re only separated by a few inches.

“I guess,” Toni says.

“Are you really gonna keep me waiting?” Shelby says.

Toni blinks, “You mean you still—”

“I have to do everything myself,” Shelby says.

She kisses her.

#did something different with time than i usually do #and with structure #lmk what you think #shoni #the wilds fanfic #the wilds #goodfoe fanfic #goodfoe #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #gus writes #ren don’t

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