#tho i keep thinking i’ve been with them twice and both times someone almost died

[michiieewrites]

THORST COLLAB: Bakugou - Starving till I tasted you

A/N: First: IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, BEGONE FROM MY BLOG SINCE I WRITE MATURE CONTENT!! This one has been sitting in my documents for almost 2 months now. This week inspiration finally struck me once again tho!

This fic is actually a Thorst Collab between my lovely friends & I on Discord. I’m the first one to post mine, so I can’t wait to see what the others will write!

Now.

STRAP ON YOUR SEATBELTS CAUSE THIS MOTHERF!@#$%CKER IS 4.2K+ WORDS LONG

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If someone told you a year ago that you would have enough money to pay off your student debt, buy your dream apartment, help out your family and friends, move abroad and drive in a ’67 Chevrolet Impala, you would’ve died laughing at the joke.

You told yourself it was stupid, buying that lottery ticket. But here you are; $100.000.000,- on your bank account. A young and now rich Omega in her prime. After making sure you had spend part of it wisely, you made sure to live the rest of your life on interest alone.

The first month had been nice. Decorating your new place, going out for dinner every day, getting a new wardrobe, spoiling yourself silly. You got new nesting materials, softer blankets and bigger pillows. It felt nice. Until it didn’t anymore. It started to feel pointless and empty. You felt like you were becoming one of those people that flaunt their money and that isn’t the type of Omega you are.

So here you are. Sitting in your peach colored dress and a numbered paddle in your hand. Tonight, you attend a charity auction. The charity was a rehabilitation program for criminals who want to get back on the right path.

The auction items aren’t exactly… items. They’re Pro Heroes. People could bid on having a date with some of the most desirable Pro Heroes, Alphas, Betas, Omegas, all of them. Even No. 1 hero Deku and No. 4 hero Red Riot are up for auction, both being Omegas.

One of the last dates are being auctioned and you realize you have been zoning out. Not having bid anything yet, you put up your paddle.

“Going once, going twice… SOLD TO NUMBER 917 FOR TONIGHT’S HIGHEST BID OF $300.000,-! A date with explosion pro hero Ground Zero!”

Oh lord. Yes! You got- wait… You got actually got it? You won a date with Pro Hero Ground Zero. Wasn’t he the one with the explosion quirk? Impressive power and always capturing the villains. What separates him from Deku is his social skills. Or lack thereof, to be more precise. Ground Zero isn’t really the type of hero to stick around the people he saved to see if they’re okay.

On top of all that he’s also an Alpha. Highly sought out by Omegas who want a pup, but not the Alpha. His genes are what people want, not the man himself. His personality also making it harder for people to approach him. And you just won a date with the most desired and aggressive Pro Hero Alpha there is.

“Oi!”

The voice behind you pulled you from your thoughts. The subtle scent of caramelized candy apples caught your attention. You turn around and find a handsome Alpha standing there. Arms crossed, cardinal red eyes watching you and his lips in an almost angry looking pout. This is the man you just bought yourself a date with.

“H-hi!” you manage to stammer out.

With a huff, he places a card on your table. You pick it up and see that it’s a business card from Ground Zero’s agency. At the bottom, writing in sleek handwriting, is a phone number. You look back up at him, ready to ask him why he gave this to you. But he’s already turning around and heading for the exit.

“Just contact me when you wanna plan that date things.”

And just like that, you had Ground Zero’s personal phone number.

 ~ A few days later ~

 You’re sitting at a small booth, sipping on your matcha latte. You were a half hour too early, so you decided it wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and order a drink before Bakugou would arrive. In his very first text he made it clear to call him ‘Bakugou’ and not by his hero name. He said that it would feel too much like an interview otherwise. In return you told him to just call you ‘Y/N’.

After some back and forth texting the last couple of days, you two agreed to meet up at a local coffee shop. Not a lot of people know about this shop. It’s small and the interior looks more like cozy living room than a flashy coffee shop. It was your favorite place to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee, tea or like right now, matcha latte.

Neither of you had any set plans for the rest of the day. Just kind of going with the flow seemed like the way to go. This would give you the freedom to hopefully have a quiet ‘date’. But you can’t really know that for sure when the person you’re on a date with is a Pro Hero.

The sound of the bell above the front door rings. You look up and see him walk in. Sitting all the way in the back, you can’t even smell him scent. Weren’t Alpha’s supposed to have very strong scents? Maybe he’s on suppressants?

He scans the shop, probably looking for you. His eyes land on you. He walks over and sits across from you. He leans back against the chair and swings his right arm over the arm rest while the left one is resting on the table. His eyes trail down from your face to the drink in your hands.

“I see you couldn’t wait for me to arrive,” he gruffly says.

“Uh-uhm, yeah. Sorry, I was super early. I hope you don’t mind.”

The silence that spreads between you two makes your Omega feel uncomfortable. Something doesn’t feel right and you’re starting to think that the Alpha in front of you truly doesn’t want to do any of this. So, to make it a little more bearable for yourself, you pump out a small amount of calming pheromones. Just to take the edge of this meeting.

Bakugou keeps looking at you. Until he finally picks up the menu card and says: “It’s fine. It’s your day, after all.”

He was right, you figured. But you still wanted him to have a pleasant time today too.

And so the day continues. The conversation isn’t very lengthy or deep. You discuss basic things like work, hobbies, favorite food. After a while the conversation kind of dies down. You suggest you two head out and into town. The man in front of you doesn’t seem overly thrilled about it, but still agrees.

When you go up to the front to pay, you hear him quickly walking up to you. He pulls your arm back. Surprised, you let out a small sound of shock and look up at him. A confused look is on his face and he pulls his hand away from you.

“The heck are you trying to do?”

Confused, you say: “Uh, paying?”

“I see that, but why? Omegas don’t pay when they’re with Alphas.”

Wow. At first you didn’t know how to respond to this remark. True, Omegas usually aren’t the ones paying on dates. In the past an Alpha would go out and hunt for their Omega. Since the hunting days are over and many Omegas work nowadays, treating them on dates are a way to show the Omega they can provide for them.

“Well,” you say as you hand over the money to the Beta barista behind the counter and thank him, “I don’t know about other Omegas, but I’m perfectly capable of paying for drinks too. I can provide just as well as any Alpha.”

You two walk outside and turn left to head into town. You’ve been meaning to go to the bookstore and hopefully find some new reading material. Two birds, one stone, right?

“Tsk, should’ve known a rich Omega like you doesn’t like to be told what to do,” Bakugou mumbles to himself.

You stop in your tracks. What? Was that really what he thought of you? A rich and snobby Omega?

Realizing you’re not walking beside him anymore, Bakugou turns around. Your head is bowed in shame. Normally your scent smells like peaches and hazelnuts, but now it turns into that of rotten fruit. You feel called out. For winning the lottery, for treating this Alpha to some drinks, for basically buying yourself a date with someone who clearly wishes to be anywhere else but here.

Your voice shakes, but you gather all your courage. “I’ll admit I was given a lot more financial freedom recently. And yes, I don’t like being told what to do. I believe everyone should be treated equally, regardless of their second gender. But I have never in my life asked for something. I was taught to work hard, to help people and to help and reward the people that help you.”

You pick up your head and look him straight in the eyes, politely smile and say: “I’m sorry you had to do this. This isn’t really how you planned your day would go. You can go, if you want to.”

As you pass him, determent to still go to the bookstore, you feel a weight being lifted from your heart. It really is unfair to the Alpha to make him go on a date with someone he doesn’t like. Deep down inside your Omega whines sadly. She recognized a good and safe provider in the Alpha, one who isn’t driven by hormones to just get an Omega pregnant. One who isn’t controlled their Alpha status. Too bad his Alpha isn’t interested in the Omega.

“Fuck, crap- wait! Shit!”

The cursing Alpha quickly catches up to you. He stops in front of you, holding up his hands to halt you. “Okay, fuck-just… let me explain.”

You cross your arms at him and wait for him to continue.

“Okay, so… Listen, I’ve been a real dick to you. Not just today, but basically since that charity event when I gave you my card. It was wrong of me assume anything about you. Shit Y/N, you’ve been nothing but nice to me. You don’t mind carrying the cost of a date, you’re not flaunting it around town that you’re spending time with a Pro Hero, you put up with my shitty responses and that isn’t how you should be treated. Or anyone for that matter! You deserve a proper date. So just, maybe I can make it up to you?”

By the end of his apology, Bakugou practically gives you angry puppy eyes in an attempt to ask for forgiveness. He reminds you of an angry Pomeranian. Smiling, you tell him that you forgive him. This day is supposed to be a fun one.

“But! You’ll have to carry the books I’ll buy as a punishment. And just so you know, I always come out with two shopping bags,” you tell him.

Bakugou just grins. “Fine. They’ll probably weigh nothing for me.”

Something in the air changes. A little sniff of your nose helps you identify the change. The scent coming from the Alpha next to you is slightly peaked. You heard that when an Alpha is preening their scents get stronger. You hardly think that’s the reason. Maybe it’s just because he’s in better mood now. Whatever the reason, you find yourself agreeing with your Omega; it’s a very nice scent.

 ~ An hour and a half later ~

 “I’ve never met someone who spends over an hour inside a bookstore!”

“I told you when we came in that it could take a while,” you reply to Bakugou’s complaints.

“You do this with nesting stuff too? You know, blankets and shit,” he asks.

In both his hands, Bakugou is carrying a bag containing close to twenty books you can add to your bookcases back at home. Even underneath the sleeves of his hoodie you can see the muscles of his arms. He’s not as bulky as Pro Heroes Deku and Red Riot, but those muscles are pretty impressive. You bet your money that those thighs could squish a watermelon. You can practically feel the water filling your Omega’s mouth. She wants nothing more than to chomp down on those delicious shoulders. And honestly, you wouldn’t mind that either.

You remember you were asked a question. “I do. How else am I gonna know I made the right choice? All of those blankets and shit, as you put it, go in my nest. I’m at my best with a perfect nest.” A confident smile forms on your face and from the corner of your eye you can see Bakugou looking at you. A small smirk creeps up on his face.

While enjoying our little banter, you both failed to notice the Alpha towards the two of you. Until he opened his mouth. “I bet I can make your nest even better, little Omega.”

The other guy stops right in front of you, completely ignoring the Alpha next to you. You’re shocked and take a step back to create some distance between you again. But the guy doesn’t let up and steps closer again.

“No, now get lost,” you firmly say. This wasn’t the first Alpha-asshole you encountered.

“Awh, why the sour face, baby? Bet I’ll be more fun than the hedgehog here.”

“Oi, asshole! She said to get lost.” The smells of pheromones of two Alphas are dominating the air. The strongest one being the creepy guy, Bakugou’s not so much. You honestly confused on that point. With an Alpha as desirable as Bakugou, you truly expected a stronger scent.

You can’t help but release your own distressed scent. The tension is getting to you. Even other people noticed and are stopping to see how this plays out.

The creep briefly looks at Bakugou before returning his attention on you. “Come on, baby. Ditch this  guy and then you and I can have our fun. What do you say?”

He extends his hand to put it on our waist and before you know it, you slap his hand away and punch him in the face. He stumbles back while cupping his now bleeding nose. Screaming in pain and shouting names at you. He’s beyond pissed; punched by a fucking Omega!

The adrenaline is pumping through you and every instinct in your body is telling you to run. Hide. Find an Alpha to protect you. You’re frozen on the spot. Your mind shutting down.

That’s when you feel a hand tugging you away. Your Omega recognizes the person this scent belongs to. Caramel candy apples. Bakugou.

You don’t know where he’s taking you. Your mind still processing things. All you know is to follow. ‘Cause he’ll lead to safety. Alphas keep Omegas safe. Follow. Safety. Alpha.

By the time you get to take in your surroundings, you realize you’re in an office. An office? What are you doing here? You look around and see a wooden desk with a black leather chair. A small bookcase, a closet and a couch with coffee table. A puffy black rug is covering the wooden floor, complimenting the one black wall behind you. The other walls are a tinted orange color.

The scent hanging in this office is… comforting. Soothing. Safe. You’re safe in here.

You’re seated on the couch. Wrapped in something soft. A blanket. A big, fluffy and soft blanket. The scent is even stronger on the blanket. You slowly inhale, imprinting this delicious mix of sweetness. After a couple seconds you finally notice the man next to you. Bakugou grins as he sees your focus shifting to him.

“I take it the blanket is approved,” he jokes.

You slowly nod. This small little cocoon makes you feel less vulnerable. Just like the presence of Bakugou next to you. It feels right. “Where are we?”

“Oh yeah, fuck. We’re at my agency. This is my office.”

You’re confused. “Your office? Why? I’m sorry, I kind of… froze. Can you tell me what happened afterwards?”

The smile that spreads on his face makes you feel funny inside. “What happened?! Y/N, you punched that fucker right in his fucking face! Shithead had it coming, tho. You just beat me to it. Omega or not, you know how to fight.”

You two look at each other and burst out laughing as you think back to that glorious moment. The creep definitely didn’t see your punch coming. It feels good to know the man next to you thinks you’re a decent fighter. He seems to actually be enjoying your company. Maybe he’s one of those people that are careful with who they get comfortable with. It feels good to know he feels like he can relax a bit more around you now.

You jokingly nudge him and say: “I bet I can even take you on, you big grump.”

“Oh yeah?” His eyebrow is raised, grinning with his canines on display. “Prove it then.”

Knowing a challenge when you see one, you keep your eyes fixed on his cardinal ones and slowly lean in closer. Baring your neck to the side in submission to lure in his Alpha. Your Omega is very pleased by the motion. Just as he moves to lean in too, you throw the blanket in his face, grab his neck and shove him down on the ground. Stradling him and jabbing your elbow into his side, pressing your nails into the skin of his neck.

Smiling down at the man below you; “How’s that, Alpha?”

A short lived victory as he snarls and the two of you roll over, with Bakugou keeping you pinned underneath his weight. He may not look like it, but this man weighs a ton!

“If you’re trying to be a worthy opponent, why not call me by my first name? It’s ‘Katsuki’,” he breathes heavily atop of you.

Next to your ear you hear a low grumbling sound. Still seeing this as a playfight you laugh and reach back. Your fingers finding pressure points in his neck, making him let go of you. This gives you the chance to overpower him again and straddle him once more while holding his wrists above his head.

Victorious once again, you look down. Growling and teeth bared, the air around you growing thick. The smell surrounding you hits you like thunder. The caramelized candy apple scent overwhelming your senses. Your eyes travel down to his neck and see something you failed to notice before; gland patches. Patches to block someone’s scent from becoming too noticeable. That’s why the other Alpha smelled so much stronger. But now, now you’re drowning in it. You can pick up on rage, possessiveness and… arousal. As much as he’s growling and snarling at you, you know that he’s enjoying this too.

Chuckling at you, he cranes his neck. His face now closer to you than a moment ago. “I’m pretty sure I just got my ass handed by the most perfect Omega.” His words push through the alarm bells his instincts are sending off. His Alpha is not pleased about being pinned down. But as it takes in the Omega’s scent of peaches and hazelnuts, it can’t help but lie down and surrender itself to this tasty smelling Omega. An Omega that can fight back. An Omega that can hold him close. An Omega worthy of carrying his pups.

His Omega.

Before either can properly get out any words Bakugou has wrestled his hands free and grabs a hold of your hips while your hands pull his face closer and seal the distance between your lips. The taste of sugar coated apples is even stronger on his lips and you can’t get enough of it.

His fingers press deeply in your skin, kneading the flesh. His hips pushing upwards while holding you in place. The low rumbling sound in the back of his throat being accompanied by your mewling. You wanted more of him, your Omega needed more.

The Alpha makes his displeasure heard. You both part to breathe in fresh air. His lidded eyes are on fire and following every movement you make. Your hands slip down to his collarbones and settle on his shoulders. The path of your hands make Bakugou throw back his head. His body is pressing into yours desperately, like he has no control over it anymore. His growling increases in volume.

Through gritted teeth he manages to speak to you. “Fuck, Omega. What are you doing to me?”

Taking a leap of faith, you answer: “I don’t know. All I know right now is that I need capable Alpha to take care of me. Are you that Alpha, Katsuki?”

Before you can even blink, you’re being rolled over again. This time you’ll let him have his way. His hands are sliding their way up to your chest, grabbing the front of your shirt and tearing it apart. You try to protest, but you’re stopped by the warning growl of his Alpha. You lay back down and occupy yourself with running your fingers through his hair. Your gently massage making the Alpha let out a content sound.

Entranced by the man above you, you hardly even notice his onslaught on your clothes. And his own clothes. Getting those replaced will be a worry for later, your Omega decide. All you need to focus on right now is Katsuki. You want this Alpha to mate you and it needs to happen right now, or else your Omega just might perish on the spot.

That’s when you feel it. The hard and heavy feeling of his cock rutting itself against your core. Your body can’t help but react to it and release a good amount of slick. Katsuki’s mouth nipping along your collarbones as your bare you neck in submission. You feel his fangs graze your scent glands and you start to whimper desperately.

“Fuck, Y/N. Keep making those pretty noises,” Katsuki says.

“Yes, Alpha, yes. Just-ah shit! Just fuck me already!” you loudly exclaim.

Now who is Katsuki to deny such a nice plea from such a good Omega?

Wasting no time, he slides himself inside. The stretch making you cry out for more, deeper, more, anything he can give you. You just know you need more. Barely able to hold himself back from ramming himself inside and fucking you like you’re in a heat, he takes his time for your to fully take him in. A sigh of satisfaction leaves you both when he finally does.

Your legs wrap around his waist and try to pull him deeper in. Your fingers curl around his spikey locks and tug harshly to get him moving. Grunting, Katsuki finally complies. Being buried inside you sends him into over-drive. You feel too damn good around him. He feels too good inside you as he sets in a brutal rhythm. You’re pretty sure no other man could ever make you feel this good. No other Alpha could ever please your Omega ever again. Feeling his body slam into yours like his life depends on it is possibly the best feeling in the world. Your lungs are sending out a mix of his name, pleas for more, for him to go faster.

Katsuki can’t help it, he can’t stop himself anymore. He need to do this, he needs you, his Alpha needs to mate your Omega. Give her everything she wants and all that she’ll take. Only the best for his Omega, he will be worthy of giving her pups.

You can feel the base of his cock starting to inflate. His knot. His knot is growing. As soon as you notice, you start to claw at his back. A need filling you till the point you’re almost bursting.

“Alpha! Knot, please- Alpha, knot me- I need- Need your knot, Alpha!” you scream in desperation.

He wants to. Oh, he wants to so badly. But in the back of his mind there’s one braincell left that tells him that now is not the time nor the place. His Omega deserves better.

“You deserve better than to be knotted in my office, Y/N,” he moans, “please give me a chance to give you something better one day. I’ll be the best fucking Alpha there is!”

You love the sound of that. Something better. Somewhere in the future. A future with Katsuki. “Yes, Kastuki! Only you, you’re the only Alpha, please, I’m so cl-“

The moment he sinks his teeth into the flesh just above your collarbone, you’re send into a world of blinding lights and exploding fire. His name keeps falling from your lips. The waves of fire keep pulsing through your body.

The tight grip around him becomes too much for Katsuki. He needs to pull out or else he’ll knot you for sure. When he you keep chanting his name, he pulls out and covers you in thick, long, white streams of his cum. Covering you in his seed, marking you as his in an obscene, but beautiful way.

“Look at you, perfectly covered in my cum,” he pants.

You preen at the compliment. A content scent is released. The smell of a happily fucked Omega. Katsuki could get addicted to this smell.

With the shredded pieces of clothing he cleans you up. He pulls the blanket you discarded earlier over you both as he lies down next to you. Your tired and warm body cuddles closer to him. He drinks in your scent a you purr softly.

“What did you have the blanket for in your office?” you ask with a yawn.

Katsuki looks down at your half-asleep face. A smile forms on his lips as he gently kisses the top of your head.

“I kept it for my future mate.”

Tagged: @reinawritesbnha @thots4daze @hipster-merchant-of-death @aizawascumslut @strawbirb @ravenfeet222 @sailor-manga @yanderart @league-of-villians-headcanons

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[ace-trainer-risu]

what are your fave diana wynne jones books that aren’t howl’s moving castle??

Oh whattt a lovely and fun question which I was definitely not secretly hoping someone would ask!!!! Yay!!

Hm okay so, not specifically in order, probably my top fave Diana Wynne Jones books would be:

Deep Secret! Deep Secret is not just one of my favorite books by DWJ but one of my favorite books full stop! It’s so good. Basically, the premise is that there is an infinite series of interconnected worlds, some of which have magic and some of which don’t, at the center of which is a vast interdimensional magical empire. Magic in the multiverse is overseen by an organization of magicians called Magids and there must always be a specific number of Magids in existence. When Rupert, a young Magid living on Earth, discovers that his mentor has died (ish) he becomes unexpectedly responsible for finding and training the next Magid, which is extremely inconvenient timing for him because the aforementioned magical empire is on the brink of civil war and chaos and its his job to stop it. And also almost all of this takes place at...a science fiction convention. It’s amazing.  I have read this book minimum four (probably more) times and every time it’s absolutely delightful and hilarious. I would like to go to the sci fi convention in this novel more than anything. It’s such a good read and its one of her few novels which is specifically aimed at adults, so I would EXTREMELY recommend it. Plus the romance in it is extremely good...not exactly enemy-to-lovers but more like ‘annoys-the-shit-out-of-each-other’ to lovers.  (**One note about this one...there’s a few very briefly mentioned side characters who are gender noncomforming and even tho they are actually portrayed very positively, it’s not necessarily ideal and 100% respectful (basically the protags comment on them being very beautiful and nice but also keep trying to guess their “real” gender). Additionally there’s a different briefly mentioned side character who is fat who isn’t portrayed very nicely. Both of these are brief incidents, just wanted to provide a warning for them)

Dark Lord of Derkholm - Okay this one is weirdly hard to summarize but it’s about this magical fantasy world which has been taken overy and is being used as a tourist destination by a non-magical world (heavily implied to be Earth) for people who want to role play at being in a classic high fantasy story, including fighting and killing THE DARK LORD...who is really just a random magician pretending to be evil. The inhabitants of the fantasy world do not enjoy this and are trying desperately to stop the tours, but unfortunately according to a magical oracle, their best hope of stopping the tours is this year’s Dark Lord, a hapless farmer magician named Derk, and his, um, eccentric family consisting of his glamorous wife, seven children (of whom five are griffins and one is a bard) and a simply improbable amount of magical animals. And also there is a very good dragon.  I think Derkholm is so great as a novel b/c it’s a very funny, loving but sharp, parody of high fantasy stories...but a lot of the time parodies only function as parodies but not as good stories in their own right, you know? But this novel completely functions as a story too, and in fact the first time I read at maybe age nine or ten, the high fantasy parody went completely over my head...but I still loved it. I also really love that this novel is very accessible to all ages, I think I enjoy reading it as an adult just as much as I did as a kid, which is rare.  For anyone who has read Howl’s Moving Castle but nothing else by DWJ and isn’t sure where to start, I think this is a great place to start. (TW: There’s a brief, non-explicit scene which has implied sexual assault.) 

Fire and Hemlock - This may be the most controversial one since it features a romance with a significant age gap where the two characters meet when one is a child and the other an adult. And I fully agree that that’s :/ and normally that trope is NOT my thing but it doesn’t come off at all creepy in this story imo, and if you think you can deal with that then this is a very weird, atmospheric, cool book about storytelling and fairy tales and growing up. The short summary (this is another hard to summarize one) is that as a child, Polly encounters and strikes up a friendship and correspondence with a young man, Tom, which mainly consists of the two of them jointly making up a silly, ongoing fairy tale type story...but things get weird when parts of their story start to come true in real life.  I’ve only read this one twice but it really stuck with me and in fact just describing it here...really makes me want to read it again!

The Chrestomanci Series - So all of the above are either specifically aimed at adults or a general audience whereas the Chrestomanci series is aimed at children, mainly a middle grade type audience. And tbh I started reading them as a kid (fond memory - I bought an omnibus of the first two with my allowance money...b/c it had a cat on the cover!) so I don’t know what it would be like to first read these as an older teen or an adult. BUT. Honestly they are really good and would be a quick read so I do still recommend them. There’s seven overall, with th seventh being a collection of short stories, and they’re only semi-chronological so the reading order isn’t vital. My recommended order (b/c this the order I read them in, haha) is Charmed Life, The Lives of Christopher Chant, The Magicians of Caprona, Witch Week, The Pinhoe Egg, Conrad’s Fate, and then Mixed Magic you can read whenever you want so long as you read it after Charmed Life and The Magicians of Caprona.  So the very core premise of it is not dissimilar to Deep Secret - there’s an infinite series of worlds/universes and there’s a magician, called the Crestomanci in this case, who is responsible for making sure magic isn’t abused across the multiverse. The Chrestomanci is an extremely powerful enchanter who has nine lives, and the novels are various semi-connected stories about the adventures of Chrestomanci as an adult and child. Chrestomanci is a title so it’s not always the same person, but for the majority of the stories it is the same guy and he’s...the best/worst...He’s this extremely handsome, charismatic, powerful enchanter who is very good at his job, loves his wife a lot, wears very beautiful clothes and makes, um, questionable life choices and is very annoying to everyone. I’ve thought about this very hard and I believe that he’s what happens when you take a fundamentally chaotic good person and make him do a fundamentally lawful good job; yes, he’s going to do it and do it well, but he is going to do it in the most chaotic, ridiculous way possible, and he IS going to die at an ALARMING rate, doing things that would not normally kill a person, such as playing cricket and trying to catch stray cats. He also, as previously mentioned, frequently wears very dramatic silk dressing gowns with elaborate embroidery, which the protag of Charmed Life finds deeply alarming.  It’s very odd to me how these books don’t seem to be well known, because the Chrestomanci books were some of my absolute favorite books as a child. I still have my omnibus editions of the first four novels and they are very worn and very beloved. And it’s so WILD to me that I don’t think I have ever talked to someone who also read those as a kid! Like I’m not saying those people don’t exist, I’m sure I just haven’t met them, but that’s so weiiirddddd to me. If I bring up Tamora Pierce or Garth Nix or other authors of weird, eccentric children’s fantasy novels to other avid childhood consumers of fantasy, people usually know what I mean, but Chrestomanci and its just..crickets. Is it b/c she’s British? Anyway all of the Chrestomanci books are very degrees of good, but if I had to pick a favorite, I think, controversial choice here, it would be Conrad’s Fate. Particularly in terms of recommendations to others, Conrad’s Fate works as a standalone and, unlike the other books in the series, it’s aimed more at a YA audience, so if you wanted to read a Chrestomanci novel without getting into the whole series, that’s a good way to go. It’s about a boy, Conrad, who is told that he has a terrible, possibly fatal Fate awaiting him unless he goes to work as a servant at a wealthy, and weird, estate neighboring his town, at which place he encounters things including color changing livery, an extremely annoying teenage Chrestomanci, and the greatest liminal space house EVER. It’s like a combination of an upstairs/downstairs Downton Abbey type social drama with bizarre fantasy shenanigans. How could that not be good??

Also as Honorable Mentions - A Sudden and Wild Magic and The Time of the Ghost. A Sudden and Wild Magic is fun b/c it’s one of her few works aimed specifically at adults and it’s (gasp) a little bit NAUGHTY which I was very surprised and delighted by when I read it. (This may seem like an unfair statement considering that Deep Secret fully has an orgy in it, but Rupert is so fundamentally unnaughty of a character that he completely unnaughtifies the whole novel, whereas Sudden and Wild Magic embraces being a (little bit) naughty.)   The Time of the Ghost on the other hand is weird and haunting and creepy and atmospheric. I only read it once but it’s one of those novels you just think about periodically and go “wait what the fuck that was a weird novel” (Also known as the “Garth Nix” effect) 

#the ask and the answer #i spent...too long writing this out but i love talking about her novels soo muchhhh #that i couldn't help myself!!!!!!!! #diana wynne jones #things you didn't care to know about veronica

[phoebehalliwell]

Prue gets together with Mitch (reincarnated Micah) and lives. How does their relationship evolve over the rest of the series?

okay so fr because like i've been thinking about this I've Been Thinking About This. WHY give us that connection if we're not gonna do anything with it??? WHY make it worse my literally giving us the guy THE EXACT SAME GUY and then never mention him again What is the motive?????? okay okay okay so here's what i'd do: 2.6 undercut lmao

because prue has really only had two boyfriends in the series so far: andy & jack (bane doesn't count as he was more of a tryst and also he's in jail :'( could have been fun tho! he could have sacrificed himself for somebody else and become a whitelighter he already knows the ins and outs of the underworld like. could have been something there. but as they were only together twice, once when prue was posing as a hitwoman and then again when he kidnapped her, he, tragically, does not him boyfriend status.) so here me out andy is a cop he represents protection and familial ties / ties to the past (prue's childhood best friend, already friends with the sisters, he's also a third generation cop so like there's that too). he represents prue's early stage, where she feels like she has to be the protector of the whole family, of which she is basically the matriarch. she doesn't get to have fun, she has to protect her sisters and now the whole world, and her past is having some very real effects on her life right now. that's her andy era.

jack era is at buckland's, it's her breadwinning era. we even saw in morality bites (which, i am once again bringing up, is fake) that she goes on to be superbillionaire whatever. so jack kind represents professional ambitions, amplified by the fact that the fonet also served as a blatant metaphor for their relationship (prue, the world is made up of almost perfect. it's nothing but near misses and necessary compromises. in this case, i think we got a little bit of both. that's okay, i know how you feel. i'm just asking you not to look so close. nothing bears up under that kind of scrutiny. are you talking about the monet? yeah, that too.) and that their relationship ends when she decided to leave bucklands to pursue a career in photography.

so now we enter season three, which is prue's artist era, her passionate like zeal for life era she finally seems to have a weight lifted off her shoulder for the first time in a long time like you can tell she like. trusts her sisters more than she ever has before she sees them in a new light and knows that they are strong and smart and independent and she doesn't need to protect them every waking hour. this era's for prue. so i'm pitching that micah mirrors this by being an artist, too. i wouldn't say the same medium (photography) as prue because like. prue's definitely someone who would compare herself to him just like subconsciously constantly that's the type of woman she is, but maybe like a painter. not a writer because they're all insufferable. lmao 🤙🤙. but someone who lives in a hella nice studio type loft filled with art and just like life. passion. something prue hasn't really allowed herself in like. a hot minute. and i would make micah (mitch??) a witch. haha it rhymes. scratch that i'd make him a warlock. or a darklighter i'm cashing in my half-darklighter character. it's mitch now. idk how this would fit into phole narrative foils maybe or we scrap phole but they're really coming from two different perspectives where cole is entering the joint like i am evil and here to murder and then he catches feelings whereas mitch would be like yes i have some dark past but i'm not letting it define me bonus points is prue is able to piece together the clues of his origin just by looking at his paintings. this also adds to the rift between prue and phoebe on prue's cole stance like oh your evil boyfriend is fine but mine, for some reason, is still evil? yes. oh you know what we keep the source's heir in this au let me continue.

instead of introducing mitch in p3 because like WHAT WAS THAT, we instead, parallel their first meeting. mitch's origin story is

his mom was a future whitelighter knocked up by a darklighter this was not intentional on anyone's part mom wasn't trying to become mom dad wasn't trying to become dad Nor did dad know mom was a future whitelighter. because well he's not great at being a darklighter in spite of maybe being like the. head darklighter's son he's like the fucked up son who doesn't wanna run things. he doesn't know he has a kid!! until something something an oracle or something tells him he has a son But he can't find mom because she's cloaked by her whitelighter. mom dies doing something heroic idk (maybe mom was a firefighter??) and then cloaking on mitch is lifted when he's in his late teens his dad finds him his dad is now like proper leader of the darklighter clan and is trying to bring mitch into the fold which initially he is game for because mitch has all these powers black orbing touch of death that he doesn't understand and finally a community to explain that to him! he gets a crossbow (which is lit) but um. quickly catches on to how blatantly evil the whole thing is. he's secretly teamed up with some whitelighters (not his mom tho. friends of his mom, but he's not allowed to see her :'/ ) to help get other halflings like him out and cloaked.

leo's been taken hostage by the darklighter something something something a plot a plot a plot we do some solid pleo angst we maybe have cole drop some thinly veiled advice about the underworld without coming out as a demon, something that will help the sisters later. but what's really important here is they're sneaking through the underworld maybe they've been split up and they need to find leo so either they're looking for him Or they're looking for a darklighter to interrogate. and prue hears shifting behind a rock and goes over to look and it's mitch and some kid and the kid immediately summons his crossbow but mitch knocks it away just like prue did with piper in the past and piper's like prue u see anything and she's like no nothing here and then mitch and the kid blackorb away which just leaves prue with this sinking feeling like what the fuck?? because. what the fuck??? a) that was the same guy from puritan times and b) she still feels the same she felt back then and c) it's clear he does do but d) --and this is the crucial one-- D) he's fucking evil????? so blah blah blah we save leo but now prue is left with one crucial question what the fuck is going on?

so what she's gonna do is research the town the colony whatever that melinda warren was born in she astral projects to salem or whatever and steals. maybe the mask mitch wore at the party she recognizes it from all hallows eve. and she brings that home and scrys with it. and she finds him!! and um bonus points looking at his place she sees he's an alum of the college she went to because backstory!! when prue was in college back when she was still pursuing photography before grams got sick, they had met before! once before, at a party, and it was this instant spark, this instant connection, but then something pulled them apart be it one of them was already in a relationship or their ride was leaving something but like. again! this connection has always been there. so like blah blah blah prue has broken into mitch's place she sees their college connection she sees his art and starts to pull together a life story he sees maybe some paperwork that just says like in bold letters like saving kids: good person activities something real obvious you know and that's Right Next To his crossbow. ~juxtaposition~ so like. what the fuck is this. but whatever that'll be dealt with later she has to get to work! but!! at the magazine her boss is like hey prue some guy came by here earlier asking for you you know [description of mitch], [description of mitch], [description of mitch], you know him? and prue's like ummmmmmmm. no. ?. and her boss is like ?? i don't really care. photography! but now she knows that while she's been digging up on him, he's been doing the same with her. so that night at p3 prue's like okay i've got to come clean with u guys remember micah and phoebe's like oh yeah that hottie from the past who was like . spiritually in love with you? and prue's like yeah i found him. and piper and phoebe are like 🤗🥳😃 and prue's like. and he's a darklighter. and piper and phoebe are like 😳😶👎 and prue's like yeah remember when like we were trying to save leo and you asked me if i saw something? well i did. it was him and and this kid and i think he was trying to save him and phoebe's like wait you think? and prue's like well i mean yeah phoebe like. it was like the same thing when he saved us in the 1700s. and phoebe's like well no because we're good witches and he saved us you saved a darklighter? and prue's like he's more than that phoebe and phoebe's like but how can you know (flash forward to her sparing cole in about three episodes and being like hmm 😐 those words are gonna bite me in the ass).

the point is they're hashing it out phoebe's devil on the left and piper's trying to be angel on the right But he is in the clan that kidnapped her husband so like..... but prue is explaining the good person papers she found on his desk, the fact that she went to college with him, she's like. she thinks he's only half darklighter and he's helping others like him and piper phoebe are like ....................do you just want him to be half darklighter and helping others like him but prue's not even listening but look who's coming down the stairs!! so she beelines over and phoebe's about to follow but piper holds her back bc wait let this play out they'll watch from afar and piper will freeze the room if she has to.

and something something something blah blah blah they tal and there's this tense like. what now. because like. What Now? you're evil and i'm a charmed one but this invisible string pulling me here whether i want it too or not. and i think prue kinda shifts back into her earlier seasons self where. it's family above all else. like i need you to steer clear because if i see you again i will vanquish you. and mitch knows she's bluffing. because he know that if he tried, even if he really wanted to, he couldn't harm a hair on her head. and it's clear she's like. suffering from the same ailment so to speak.

something something something maybe they have a couple quick brushes but not actual meetings And Then we get another time travel/past life episode where!! as it turns out. prue and mitch r soulmates cursed by a spurned lover to always be on opposite sides. meanwhile we just got cole demon reveal/cole's still alive reveal so prue's like hi mitch you're. evil. evil-adjacent. what do you know about belthazor/cole turner. and mitch does his due diligence and like. the stuff on belthazor is appalling. genuinely terrifying. but then there's some stuff on cole turner that's like kinda okay. this is were mitch does is big tragic backstory reveal, kids born of dark magic falling in with the wrong crowd blah blah blah and this kind of. supports our theory moving forward it's not really a theory. our endgame moving forward of healthy!cole. also prue and mitch still have not gotten together through all of this in spite of the cosmic pull and the past evidence of like. soulmatism. because they're both a bit too pragmatic they both think it's kind of a lost cause. blah blah blah pining we give prue a mini love interest here someone to keep her mind off mitch and we do make him good. kind, attentive, caring, smart, hot, but like. it's so painfully obvious she's not all in. so he calls it off. heart to heart with piper because piper's like hi you're in love. and prue's like yeah with a doomed relationship i think i'd rather not and piper's like hello you're talking to the queen of doomed relationships you wanna know the secret? and prue's like yes :( and piper's like just go for it. the time you have together is. it's better than anything else you'll ever have. there's gonna be heartbreak, but hell there's always gonna be heartbreak in the halliwell family. wouldn't you rather spend your time with someone you love?

something something something leo/mitch/cole buddy episode b plot. leo/mitch/cole/DARRYL buddy episode b plot. :D. prue and micah get their big first kiss in a very tv show build up way my heart is saying new years and all the fireworks go off around them.

we're bringing in paige because i love her she's first introduced by some seer oracle whatever as your other sister and the girls are like respectfully, bullshit. but micah's like hey......... she's half whitelighter. because he can sense those kind of things, being a darklighter. and piper and leo are like patty's affair....................... and all the pieces are falling together and in this one. paige either gets a witch love interest a cupid love interest or we keep henry because fwiw i do really like mortal love interests. if we do do the witch love interest it won't be richard i love him to piece i do but he sucks <3. source!cole time.

oh we introduce paige thru mitch trying to help one of his kids and that lands him at social services.

source!cole. idk what happens here but like. using our nifty-difty tool box the squad has been assembling over the years helping all of these wayward souls born from evil, things mostly work out fine. source's heir is born, a girl, but since prue isn't dead her name is either colette or victoria. depends if cole died or not.

prue moved out at some point and lives in a hella nice studio apartment with mitch they r both artists (who the fuck is paying for that?) phoebe moves back in the manor post-source fiasco paige moves in the manor but spends a lot of time with her sister prue and soon to be brother in law (??) mitch. (paige is like fr dude when are you gonna pop the question and mitch is like woahhhh pump the break because paige is new here and when she saw them she's like oh. married couple. but then they're not married. engaged? nope. no just loosely dating? okay. lame. bad idea. but as it turns out one of them always dies so they're just trying to avoid that for as long as possible) but paige spends a lot of time at pritch's place because not only is it The Art Zone it's also the rehabilitating kids zone, of which paige is a grand help. prue jokes about how much paige reminds her of phoebe as a kid, and since we're already muddying the timeline, we're having paige enter and solid advice columnist, married phoebe and paige is like haha what the fuck??

source's heir born twice blessed born magic school located under the charmed & co squad becomes integrated with children born of all magic and like our season 8 wrap up saccharine finale is like how magic has reached a new era of peace n understanding. <3

#its stream of consciousness plot pitch time again!! idk if i love it if i'm sold on it #i might come back with an entirely separate mitch pitch #because there's really nothing there the world is my oyster at this point #but i think this could be a fun one #charmed #prue x micah #💌 #margaretsminiessays

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

it’s taken me a while but here we are!! listened to bloodwater ballad [TUMBLR | SOUNDCLOUD] by @gerrydelano so I’m gonna dive (ha, dive, get it?) into some analysis even tho I haven’t taken a proper English class since AP English Lit in high school and the god complex it gave me has never left (RIP to everyone else, but I’m different). But I do have a degree in Psychology and am a Researcher, so I know how to dissect things (this is probably why the god complex never left lmao)

disclaimer: I have only listened to TMA through one (1), read it ONE time, so if you read something that seems wrong it probably is because my memory is not The Best (the seasons are 40 eps long and 30 mins each, Jonny why) and I’m probably straight-up not remembering or misremembering some aspect or detail about either a character and/or their relationship

(and before you say it, i absolutely CANNOT just go relisten to an ep out of order. my nd brain Will Not Let Me until i have listened thru all 4 seasons, In Order, several times)

ALSO: i speak very definitively here, but it doesn’t mean i’m right abt my analysis

bold and italics are lyrics, regular font is analysis. if there’s a more accessible way to format this, lmk!

analysis under cut

honesty that's what she gave to me mary didn’t hide who she was; eric knew exactly what he was getting himself into

into the water i bleed into the sea sea motif/metaphor to describe how eric viewed his relationship with mary

truthfully even when she lied through her teeth it only meant she trusted me to lay at her feet rationalization from eric: he knows she’s lying, and she probably knows he knows. but she also knows that he won’t do anything about it

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i sink more of the sea metaphor in pieces in ribbons in tatters i'm thrown into the dark of the drink ribbons and tatters: reminiscent/hint of mary needing a piece of his skint to keep his ghost in the leitner

oh, heave-ho it's over the edge i go blow the man down, he's a jewel for your crown (blow me down) and no one will ever know ”jewel for your crown”: suggestive of how mary used eric like an object. jewel and crown suggests that he was useful to her in an important way, tho, still an object ”no one will ever know”: suggestive that no one else, looking in on their relationship, would even see it for what it truly was, nor would they ever expect mary to throw him away so casually like she did

war, you see is somewhere you go just to bleed the end of a book you can’t read (books you cannot read) a legacy’s greed “book you can’t read”: suggestive of mary’s relationship with leitners ”a legacy’s greed”: commentary of leitner; bc this is eric telling his story tho, this could also be about how mary pulled eric into her plots regarding leitners, and then gerry

distantly, familiar hope came to me that even with blood in our teeth my son stayed asleep ”even with blood in our teeth”: eric knows what role he had to play in all this and is not absolving himself of blame ”my son stayed asleep”: often sleeping can be used as a metaphor for ignorance. in this case, eric is hoping that, despite what gerry’s mother is and what eric has been complicit in, will not affect his son i think it’s interesting to note here that the backup voices cut out for “my son stayed asleep” (put a pin in it)

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, i gave to my wife as the captain, the whip, and the brine, the shark lurking under the waves more of the sea metaphor; also a metaphor for how complicit eric was to mary’s will i think it’s super interesting that she’s the captain, whip, brine, and shark in this metaphor. all things that can hurt eric, as the ship. suggests that mary is in complete control of eric (as the captain). also adds to the notion that eric knew exactly who mary was and still loved her anyway (”i gave”).

oh, heave-ho the ship is my body, she cracks the mast of my spine, spills my blood as her wine (lightning strikes and) i really like this line bc it makes me think of the marriage lines in corpse bride: “your cup will never empty, for i will be your wine.” and i love that it’s turned on its head here. cuts a flag from the skin off my back (takes all the skin off my back) a direct callback to the fact that mary has to take strips of eric’s skin to keep his ghost in the leitner book, while also staying with the metaphor that eric is a ship out at sea

way, ay, i wanted to say though blinded i still saw the light at the end of the hall, in a crib with his eyes almost grayer than mine in the night direct callback to eric blinding himself, twice! also represents how much he loves his son: “light of my life” is a common saying and gerry was that for eric

i gave up the sight of his face for his life and i would have lost more for the same i'd cut out my heart to save his from her bite and i almost don't know who to blame again, direct callback to him blinding himself so he could escape the institute a demonstration of how much love he holds for his son, willing to give up more and more of himself if it meant keeping his son safe heart motif! both for eric and gerry i really like the last line here bc he’s saying he doesn’t know who to blame for his blindness (aka cutting out his heart): himself or mary. bc, as i’ve stated before, eric knows who mary is. and he still loves her. still had a child with her. i also think it’s foreshadowing. and the reason i say this is bc, in the end, eric was unable to save gerry from mary. this song is representative of his statement to gertrude, so at this point, he’s a ghost. tho he may not know exactly what mary has done, he knows who she is enough to know that after he died, mary would raise gerry in her likeness, with her ideals

is it a murder if i made my bed by her side when i knew what she was? and here we have eric, most nearly explicitly, stating that he knew mary’s true colors. and loved her anyway. perhaps i'm complicit; i fell asleep first in the bloodcutting comfort of jaws this also solidifies his stance that he should shoulder some of the blame for allowing himself to love her when he knew what a truly terrible and deadly (literally) person she was ”bloodcutting comfort of jaws” is also really nice alliteration

forgive me, forgive me, i did try to swim with my hands and feet bound to my heart heart motif! okay so this one has so many layers for me: so, for all intents and purposes here, eric has effectively cut out his heart, which his hands and feet are bound to, and is now in the jaws of a shark (mary), who is dragging him down to kill him. he tried to save his son by getting away from the institute by blinding himself but it didn’t work weighted and anchored with love for my son who by birthright deserves more than scars legit, this confused me for a bit bc i always saw “with my hands and feet bound to my heart” as the anchor that pulled him down, as you’d weigh someone down with big rocks if you wanted them to drown. however, in the context of tma, i realized anchor could also mean the way martin is jon’s anchor. eric’s love for gerry was his reason--the person who he kept fighting for as best he could

additional note: these 4 verses are all sung without backup voices. i think it’s interesting that the lyrics/verses that revolve around wanting to save his son, and that are about his son, are sung with his singular voice. i wish i could articulate more what that means, but despite my best efforts, i’m not musically inclined even tho i’ll kinda be talking abt music composition for firesorrow girl lmao. link at the end

my eulogy the carpet red under my feet like standing on top of the sea (standing on the sea) the frenzy beneath don’t ask me why but i really like how this last part of the song starts with “my eulogy” bc you can tell the song is coming to a close now by that lyric. what’s really nice is i can “picture” eric closing his statement with gertrude with the request that she finds his son more sea and shark metaphors

infamy how do you remember me? that fool just so desperate to leave that he couldn't see? i also really loved these lines bc eric most likely knows how gertrude thought of him, and can probably sense how she feels of him now, after his story then i love how “couldn’t see” has a double-meaning here: 1) of course, he blinded himself but, 2) that he was also metaphorically blind to what kind of consequences his actions had, both on him and his son

oh, heave-ho a dead man has only one tale listen,,, i know i keep saying this, but i love how ron turns turn-of-phrases on their heads. bc “dead men tell no tales” right? eric has one tale, tho: his statement bc he’s a ghost who’s been bound this book and kept, for all intents and purpose, alive i knew she had hunger for blood in the water and that means it was no betrayal again, confirmation that eric knows that he has to shoulder some of the blame for the consequences of knowing who mary was (this bloodthirsty shark) and still loving her anyway

oh, heave-ho though, i have one request of you now if my son can be found and his own hands unbound (find my son) cut the rope - don't you dare let him drown (don’t you dare be the reason he drowns) so a throwback to “hands and feet bound to my heart” tho perhaps gerry’s heart isn’t what’s dragging him down, necessarily bc he was raised by mary, he didn’t have a choice. the moment he was born, he was tied to her. and the moment mary killed eric, there was no chance he could get away and then, of course, the gut-puncher: “don’t you dare let him drown”/“don’t your dare be the reason he drowns” are especially poignant, given gertrude uses gerry much in the same way mary did. gerry becomes bound to a different entity and is used for gertrude’s gain. so he drowns anyway.

--

alkjdlf i hope this is semi-coherent. i tried to do it more “professionally”--i even thought abt breaking it up and putting it back together, out of order, to address all the themes and motifs all in one spot--but then decided what would be best for my brain, was to listen to the song and just add my thoughts in as they came, stream of consciousness style *finger guns*

firesorrow girl analysis | meme i made for these analyses bc it’s funny and i wanted to share

#tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #(kinda. alkjldkf idk how to tag thissss) #eric delano #mary keay #gerard keay #chirp.meta

[julemmaes]

Little black dress // part four

Anna Lightwood and Ariadne Bridgestock modern au

Mh, sorry? I’ve had a not-so-nice time during these two last months and I had no time or energy to write anything. I’m really sorry this took so long and I hope you’re still involved in the story, tho I hardly doubt it. Anyway, here’s Arianna part, fucking finally and I really like it. Not loove it, like I do for anything Thomastair, but still.

Just don’t hate me and try to enjoy it:)

For the other parts

Word count: 3,929

Anna had made a mistake.

She had made a mistake and now she was freaking out, because Ariadne was smiling at her like she always did, but that emotion that normally shone in her golden eyes seemed to have died out.

It was the first night they were able to spend away from home without worrying about the next day's schedule and they had enjoyed every minute as if they thought their next date would be years from now.

They had immediately refused the group's invitation to go out with them that night and now Anna was regretting not going to her cousin's house. Despite having spent one of the best nights of their lives, Anna regretted not accepting because the little velvet box in her jacket pocket weighed like a boulder. So when the opportunity to slip someone in to third wheel came up, she didn't think twice and asked Matthew and Lucie if they could join.

Ariadne had asked her a couple of times to go home, but she couldn't. As long as they stayed out, she could still muster some courage and ask her, but as soon as she set foot in the house, she would give up and go straight to bed, regretting for sure the bad choice the next morning. So, no, they couldn't go home, but she could have stretched the night as long as she wanted.

She smiled at Ariadne, putting the phone in her pocket, "They're coming right away anyway."

His girlfriend squeezed in her shoulders, "Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that Matthew and Lucie are coming, but I thought we'd be alone tonight. I'm a little tired, actually."

Anna felt guilty and her heart clenched in her chest. She stretched her hand out on the table, taking Ariadne’s, "I’m sorry, I didn't think it would bother you, if you want we can tell him we left because we had other plans." she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows, suggesting which plans she alluded to, even though her stomach was twisting.

They weren't going home anyway. She was being a bitch, she knew it, but she couldn't give up so quickly. "Math would understand. And I'm sure Luce wants to be alone with him, too, now that they've finally been able to declare their eternal love." she concluded with a smirk, wiping her hands on the jeans.

Ariadne's gaze moved to the door of that particularly crowded restaurant to be four o'clock in the morning and gave a smile that looked more like a grimace, "Too late." Anna didn't have time to turn around that two arms were choking her.

"We haven't seen each other in ages." Lucie screamed in her ear. Beyond her cousin's shoulder she saw Matthew chuckling as he greeted Ariadne with a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Work is destroying us," replied Anna, placing her arm around the shoulders of the girl who had just arrived and sat next to her.

Ariadne sighed loudly and nodded, putting her face in her hands, "And my new boss is such an asshole. The other day he ordered me to go buy him a coffee." She looked at Matthew with her eyes wide open, "Like I'm some kind of intern," she said disgusted. Then her eyebrows snapped so high they disappeared under her hair. "But you two got together! Finally!" she raised her arms, hugging Matthew, who laughed embarrassedly.

"Actually we just kissed, we didn't, um," the guy put his hand over his face, "We haven't talked about it yet, but-" he stopped again, eyeing Lucie.

"What he's trying to say is, yes, we're getting there." she smiled at him, her eyes glowing, "But you should take me out to dinner first."

Matthew backed out, pointing at the club with one hand, "What does this look like to you?"

"I brought you here." she scoffed.

The squabble went on for a while, but Anna and Ariadne weren't really participating.

Anna cursed herself for the millionth time. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She'd planned everything perfectly and always managed to screw it all up. She couldn't understand where all that magnificent self-esteem that had allowed her to achieve every goal in life and that distinguished her from all her relatives had gone.

She looked at her watch, it was almost four. The Sky Garden had already been closed for hours and she knew it.

That place was one of Ariadne's favourites all over London. It was one of the city's skyscrapers and its special feature was the small garden that stood on the 35th floor. It was quite a touristy place, but there were never too many people there and very often, when Ariadne was still in university, they would go there to spend their days and go over the subjects before big exams.

She would offer her one of those drinks she loved so much with orange juice and a slice of pineapple and then take her out on the terrace, she hadn't yet decided whether she would kneel down or not, but she would say something to her and then take out the ring. It seemed so simple when she thought it. Simple but great.

And yet now she felt as if her legs were made of jelly, and with every movement she felt as if she were giving away years of life, she was struggling so hard.

They had ordered in between chats and the food had arrived in less than ten minutes. Matthew seemed to be on the verge of tears when the waiter arrived and put his three servings of noodles in front of him. One with beef, one with chicken and one vegetarian. Lucie and Ariadne looked at him in shock. They had decided to have only drinks and now they were sipping their hot teas.

"Are you sure you'll be able to work tomorrow?" Lucie asked, rising an eyebrow when he alternated a bite of chicken’s noodles and beef’s. "You know I wouldn't want to have to drag you to the emergency because instead of blood you'll have noodles in your veins."

Ariadne laughed and Anna stiffened. She was trying not to look at her, but when she laughed she was so beautiful. She's always beautiful, she thought, cursing herself. She looked up and when her amber eyes looked at her, Anna sprang to her feet. Lucie's expression became even more confused.

Ariadne settled down on the chair, as if she was uncomfortable. "Are you okay, An?"

The girl nodded. God, what was happening to her. She wasn't like that. She wasn't clumsy.

"Anna?" Matthew had stopped eating and looked at her worried.

Her eyes clicked on his friend, "Would you like to come out for some air?" she asked quickly, avoiding the gaze of the other two girls. "Smoking." she said, having to say something else. She didn't wait for an answer and rushed out of the restaurant.

As soon as he was on the sidewalk, somewhat away from the ‘dear lord, ramen’, she leaned back against the wall and then laid her hands on her knees, bending forward. She was gasping for air and wished she was at home at that moment, in her bed with her girlfriend, not her possible future wife.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and then Matthew bent over like her, to have his face at her own height. His eyes wide open with worry, "What happened?" she stared back and kept gasping. She took a deep breath, holding it. This should have slowed her heart, which seemed to be about to explode.

She was able to move enough to reach into her pocket with one hand, and then both of them held their breath.

"Oh shit." That's all the boy said.

They were silent for a few seconds. "Yeah."

"Were you going to ask her now?" Matthew asked, trying to figure out what the problem was. She looked up at his friend and saw the myriad questions hovering in his head.

They all knew the two girls were going to get married sooner or later, but no one knew that Anna was planning to propose that night. She'd done well to keep it to herself. They thought they'd wait a little longer.

It wasn't that she didn't want to share it with others for fear that they would tell her to wait or that they wouldn't agree. It had been years since they had all come to terms with the fact that Ariadne would be in their group forever. At first they had been a little hesitant, given their history and how Ariadne had broken her heart when they were still teenagers, but now she was simply part of the family.

"Not now now." she groaned. "Actually, I screwed up," she said, pulling herself up and looking towards the restaurant, making sure no one came out.

"Do you want to tell me or, I don't know, would you rather go back inside and get Ari and leave?"

Anna snorted, shaking her head, "No, I've ruined everything by now. I'll do it another night."  

Matthew chuckled, "Leave it to you, the most confident person I know, to become this-" teased her with one finger, "-clumsy, for the most important question of your life."

Anna whispered to him to fuck off, but he was right.

"I don't know what got to me, I had a spectacular night planned and then we went to a club to dance and I lost track of the time and I thought it's okay." Anna started babbling, "We're fine and she just started working in that horrible office and I think she's under enough stress. Planning a wedding would also take away what little free time she has now," she continued, gesturing with her hands, "Sure, I'd help her with everything, but it would still be something else to take care of."

He looked up at Matthew, who seemed thoughtful. "Why don't we go back inside, tell Ari you're not feeling well and then maybe introduce the subject when you're home?"

"So she can't kick me out, you say?" joked Anna, trying to lighten the air.

"No, that way you'll be calmer and if you're going to throw up from anxiety, at least you can do it in your bathroom." Matthew continued, laughing.

Anna sighed, nodded, and after a brief pause in which she was thinking of all the worst possible scenarios, they went back in.

Lucie was leaning forward on the table, her mouth wide open, and she was shaking Ariadne's hands, smiling at her with her lips so tight that if she smiled more they would tear. As soon as the grils saw them approaching, they pulled away and Lucie sat up straight again, looked Matthew in the eyes and with her eyebrows raised and a very condescending tone, "You and I have to go leave now.”

"But- Lucie?" It was rare enough that Matthew referred to the girl using her full name in that serious tone. He looked suspiciously at the table before bending over to his new girlfriend. "Where are my noodles?" Lucie shrugged and laughed.

Ariadne, in front of them, was staring at Anna, "Are you okay?" she asked her hesitantly.

Anna decided that nothing would happen that night, that she had made her suffer enough, but she would not lie to her. "No. Can we go home?" she asked her, with hopeful eyes, "Please."

Lucie, who had suddenly stopped bickering with Matthew, raised her voice so loudly that they got a couple of nasty looks from other people at the tables. Now that he noticed, there were a lot of people for it being four o'clock in the morning. "Yes! Yes!" Then, in a lower tone, "Yes, you absolutely must go home."

Ariadne gave her a murderous look and Anna turned to Matthew, trying to figure out if he knew anything, but he seemed too lost in his noodles thoughts to worry about anything else.

"And stop making that long face, I asked the waitress to put them in a takeaway container." Lucie jokingly pushed him. Matthew lit up and bent over her to kiss her.

Anna stood, watching the new couple with a sad smile. She was really happy for Matthew. They had talked so many times about how sick it made him feel to see how every single person in his life found love under the rocks, how he had tried so many times to meet new people and like them to get Lucie out of his head.

She felt a hand resting on her arm and turned towards her girlfriend again. Ariadne's bright eyes stared at her worried, "What happened?"

Anna took a deep breath and then shook her head and looked away, "Can we talk about this when we get home?" the other nodded slightly before saying goodbye to Matthew and Lucie with a flying kiss. Anna looked at Matthew and he gave her a bright smile and the thumbs up.

Yes, she could do it.

The journey to their apartment was mostly silent. Every once in a while Ariadne would comment on something that had happened at work and Anna would laugh or give her honest opinion about it, but it seemed as if they were both not really there.

Now that Anna was paying more attention, Ariadne was torturing her fingers and had been checking her phone so many times in the last five minutes that it was starting to make Anna suspicious. That she figured it out? That she came out while showing Math the ring and saw the whole thing?

No, that wasn't possible. She would've already broached the subject.

Looking sideways at her girlfriend confirmed that yes, Ariadne was definitely upset about something. And the look she gave her mere seconds later also confirmed that it was about the two of them. Anna narrowed her eyes when she saw that they had finally entered Percy Street and were only a few yards away from their apartment.

She could have made it.

Ariadne froze at the bottom of the porch stairs. Anna let go of her hand and climbed the few steps that separated her from what she considered to be their safe place, but when she saw that the other one was left on the sidewalk she frowned. With her hand still in mid-air she gave a cough, trying to attract Ariadne's attention, but she seemed to be in a trance as she murmured something.

"Ari? Are you okay?"

No answer.

She raised the voice a little, hoping their neighbors wouldn't wake up, "Ari."

The girl finally looked up at Anna and had lost color on her face, as if she was feeling sick. Indeed, Ariadne felt as if the world was swallowing her up little by little. She had received a message from Cecily around midnight assuring her that everything had been put in place and that Garbiel couldn't wait to see how it would go. Despite the support she had received from both Anna's parents, she couldn't hold back the whimper that escaped from her lips and ran up the stairs positioning between the door and Anna, blocking her entrance.

"What's going on?" Anna asked anxiously, placing a hand on her face and stroking her cheekbone, trying to calm her down.

Ariadne had started fidgeting with her foot since she was so stressed, "There's something in the house." The surprise on Anna's face was obvious and Ariadne bit her lip trying to figure out if that slightest reaction was good or bad. Even the soothing movement on her cheek stopped. "It's a big thing. It's something I've been wanting to do for a long time and Cecily..." she paused, looking for signs that Anna didn't want anything from her at that moment, but the blue-eyed girl's hand hadn't left her face yet. She could see the confusion in Anna’s eyes as she tried to understand what her mother had to do with it at that moment. Ariadne leaned slightly against that contact, seeking comfort in the warmth of her beloved.

After all, she had behaved very strangely that night, and now she was beginning to think that maybe Anna wanted to break up with her. She closed her eyes and took courage. "I wanted to arrange something nice for you, to ask you something very important, but I don't think you're fine tonight and I see you're upset. I don't want to know what it is, if it was vitally important you would have told me already and I don't want to force you to share anything you don't want, but I'm here."

Ariadne placed both hands on Anna's arms, bringing her body closer to that of the other in a swift movement. She moved her hands over her chest, feeling how Anna's heart was beating fast in her ribcage.

Anna smiled at her and her eyes softened so easily that Ariadne almost burst out crying.

Whatever Ariadne was talking about, Anna was happy.

All the anxiety she had accumulated during the night had dissipated as soon as her girlfriend opened her mouth. She was no longer afraid of what the other's response or reaction would be. She was no longer afraid of what might happen, because she knew that whatever happened, they would find a way to deal with it together.

She leaned slightly over Ariadne and laid her lips on hers. Even the weight on the girl's shoulders seemed to lift suddenly and they relaxed each other's touch.

When they both were out of breath, but with their eyes still glistening with emotion, Anna managed to move Ariadne from the entrance and open the door.

A faint flickering light came from upstairs and casting a curious look over his girlfriend's shoulder, Anna walked up the stairs, holding Ariadne's hand.

As soon as she saw what Ariadne had done, Anna stopped.

The room shone with its own light and an indefinite number of what Anna recognized as white carnations and another yellow flower very similar to wisteria covered every free surface of the room. From the ceiling hung what looked like pictures of them. "Ari…"

She stepped forward and felt Ariadne hold her breath. She reached the last step and began to walk through the living room, swiping her finger over each photo. There were pictures of every date they went on. There was the selfie they had made immediately after making love for the first time. There were pictures of their first meeting and the ones they had taken secretly.

Her chest hurt from how many emotions she was feeling.

On the wall above the sofa was a large frame of the two of them on the day of her cousin Eugenia's wedding. That day Ariadne had worn a black dress so beautiful that there hadn't been a single person who hadn't complimented her. In the picture Anna was holding her tight to her chest while Ariadne was leaning back and laughing with her eyes closed. Anna's gaze transmitted so many emotions that she had a lump in her throat looking so happy. She had never realized she was looking at Ariadne with so much love.

If someone had told her it would end like this when she was still young and dumb, she would never have believed it.

She was speechless, too shocked by such a blatant action, but Ariadne must have interpreted her silence in a negative way, because she was stuck on the door and whispered, "I know, sorry is too much."

Anna snapped at her, gaping. Ariadne seemed to feel even worse, because she brought her hand to her chest and took a hesitant step towards her. "Your mother said you'd like it and I thought you'd prefer these to those stupid roses and..."

"I love it."

"What?"

"I said I love it," Anna said determinedly, so that she would hear her clearly. Dodging one photo to the right and one to the left, she reached out to the girl and encirled her hips, "And I love you, Ariadne."

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against the girl's. "I love everything about you. I love your hair and your lips, I love the color of your skin and how it makes the gold in your eyes shine." she left a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love how your body is perfectly compatible with mine," she pushed forward, getting lost in their kisses and brushing her jawline, which made Ariadne shudder, "and how it responds to the slightest of my touches."

"I love how you stand up for everything you believe in and everyone you love." Anna broke away to get a better look at her. Her eyes glowed with tears. She took another step back, Ariadne's hand hanging between them. "I can't imagine my life without you. I can't imagine a morning without having the chance to look at you as soon as you open your eyes and kiss you."

"I'm sorry I was a bitch tonight. I'm sorry if I acted weird and avoided going home so much." she put her hands in her pocket, trying to look calm while her heart exploded in her chest. She looked into her eyes, "Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Ariadne whispered to her, stepping forward to take her in her arms, but Anna stopped her with a slight grin on her face. Ariadne wrinkled an eyebrow confused with a smile on her lips.

"I was going to take you to the Sky Garden. I was going to buy you one of those cocktails you love so much," she touched the velvet box in her pocket and squeezed her fingers around the object, pulling it out. "I was going to make you laugh, I was going to fall in love again and again and again." Ariadne's gaze followed her every move, and when she got on one knee she opened her eyes wide, making a choked sound very much like an incredulous laugh. "I was going to take you out on the terrace," she opened the box and saw tears flowing undisturbed on Ariadne's cheeks, who whispered, "Anna…"

She smiled, "And I was going to ask you to marry me."

Ariadne was now laughing through her tears as she was smuggling in her white handbag. She kept her gaze fixed on Anna though, as if she wanted to take a mental picture of this moment.

"That's why I didn't want to go home." Anna excused herself, "The second I set foot in here, my chances of asking you would have ended."

Ariadne laughed one last time, before she knelt down in front of her and pulled out a little dark blue velvet box, "Anna."

She stood motionless as she lowered her hand slightly with the little red box, "Ariadne?" The girl in question opened the blue box and a simple silver ring with a tiny blue stone glowed with the lights in the room. She gave out a choked laugh as her eyes filled up in turn, "Are you kidding?" She looked at Ariadne and sprang forward with a snap. She took the girl's face in her hands and kissed her. She broke away for a second when the other one stopped the kiss, "Oh god, we're terrible."

Anna laughed, taking the ring from her little box and putting it on Ariadne's finger, while the other one did the same. They looked into each other's eyes one last time, now high on exhilaration.

"Will you marry me?"

"And will you marry me?"

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#anna lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #arianna #annaxariadne #ariadnexanna #the noodles series #julemmaes writing #my writing #tlh au #chain of gold #chog #cog2 #cog #tlh #the last hours #james herondale #lucie herondale #cordelia carstairs #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #grace blackthorn #jordelia #thomastair #fairondale #christopherxgrace #chain of iron #chain of thorns #coi #cot

[romanianseba]

Blue Eyes and Greasy Hair

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While on mission on the other side of the world with no signal, it's been so long since Bucky heard your voice.

Warnings: not really, but I would say extremely FLUFFY!

Word Count: 2,467

A/N: If you feeI Iike you need to relax and forget about everything that is bad in this world, you'll enjoy reading this one. Haha at least I hope so. I really put all my energy and my whole being into this writing for the last two days. It was so worthy tho, because I love how this turned out. From the bottom of my heart, I hope this brings a smile to your face and makes you feel happy because it sure made me happy to write it and share. :) Also, I would love to read your thoughts and no, you would never bother me with your comments!

—

"I guess this one is for you, Buck."

Bucky looked up from the weapon on his hands he was currently cleaning up, his eyes falling on the phone that his best friend was holding out to him.

"Your girl." Steve smiled fondly and watched as his friend's expression immediately lit up; his frown being replaced by excited eyes and a small twitch from the corner on his lips.

Bucky's eyes fell back to the phone he was holding and suddenly the ring of the call that startled him and that he immediately blocked out just mere five seconds ago became everything he could hear, everything he cared about, the best sound he has heard in twenty three days.

Pushing his weapon away, he got up from the worn out mattress of the crappy motel room they were staying until this mission was over. 'An inconspicuous place', Tony had said. But Bucky thought he went a little too far with it.

Taking the phone from Steve hold, Bucky wanted to say something to him, he wanted to say thanks, he wanted to give him an appreciative smile, but your name showing across the screen accompanied by a small circular shaped photo of your smiling face came to be everything he cared about, everything he wanted to see for the rest of this far away mission. He moved to stand by the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe.

"Steve?"

Bucky heard your voice once he answered the call and, suddenly, everything that was on his mind slipped away and was replaced by the single sound of your voice saying his best friend's name. Steve? Steve? Steve? His brain froze and he forgot how humans speak.

His voice surprised him when he breathed out your name, it felt like a breath of relief in the form of your name. As if he hadn't been really breathing for almost four weeks until now.

"Bucky?" His heart jumped happily when you spoke again, from the sound of his name coming from your voice, your sweet voice.

"Hey, doll." He whispered and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

Doll. You'll never get tired of that pet name as long as it comes from his voice. And it always causes a revolution in your belly. A big smile spread across your face as you leaned against your bedframe back at the compound, surrounded by a sea of cozy and comfy blankets.

"Oh, thank God Steve got it that I wanted to talk to you so I didn't have to politely make small talk with him before asking for you."

Your smile grew bigger when you heard his chuckle.

"I'm kidding. Please tell Steve I love him."

"I will, doll, don't worry." Bucky laughed looking over at his friend sitting on his bed, his attention full on the book resting on his lap.

"You guys finally find some signal!"

"Yeah, apparently. It had been so long since I heard a phone ring. It startled me at first."

"Of course that's why, old man." You giggled, making Bucky grin. "It was just my attempt number forty-five of the day, I didn't think it would work. It didn't work with yours tho."

"Mine died like a week ago, forgot my charger at home. It's not compatible with Steve's. Sorry, doll."

"It's okay, I'm talking to you now, it's all that matters. Where are you now?"

"At our ugly motel room." He answered, glancing around the gloomy room.

You winced. "Is that bad? And how did the signal work now?"

"So bad. Don't even want to dirt your precious mind with details. And we don't know how it worked. Tony called yesterday and we were wondering the same thing. I guess the signal comes and goes. I tried to call you after we hung up with him and it didn't work anymore."

"Damn signal. C'mon, we're in 2019!" You whined.

Bucky snickered at your remark.

You signed deeply. "It's been so long."

"I know," He mumbled and you both went silent for a few seconds until he sighed, but you realized this was a happy sigh. "It's so good to hear you, doll."

You could practically hear his smile, and the image of his face wearing his happiest smile appeared in your mind. You knew that smile so well. It wasn't just a polite one. It was one of pure joy that he mostly had when you are around, and you knew it was currently plastered on his face.

The urge to be transported through the phone in some way to see his gorgeous face took over you. Your fingertips prickling with eagerness.

"It's so good to hear you. I'm home, sound and safe, but you're the one out there, risking your life while saving the world. How are you? Are your bones complete and joined? Are you cleaning all your wounds properly? When are you coming back? Are you eating and drinking water regularly? Are you sleeping well? Are your eyes still blue? Is your hair still greasy?"

"Hey!" He complained playfully.

"What?" You laughed innocently. "I love your greasy hair."

"Oh God." Bucky groaned and threw his head back, unable to stop smiling. "Doll, that's so many questions. But yes, my hair is even more greasy now because Steve emptied our only bottle of shampoo," He looked over at Steve who playfully rolled his eyes and was shaking his head, his gaze never leaving the page in front of him. "I think you'll never be more attracted to me as you would right now because it's that greasy."

"Stop!"

Bucky's heart almost jump out of his body when he heard you laughing.

"You started it by saying you think I'm very attractive with greasy hair."

"Never said you're very attractive with greasy hair," you protested still laughing. "I just said I like it but it's more like I accept it."

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure you said you love it, babe."

"Alright, I do. I love all of you and every single thing makes you mouth-watering attractive. Next question."

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm fine. I haven't broken a bone... not yet-" He teased.

"You better not."

"I'll try my best." You rolled your eyes and Bucky could tell but he continued. "What else? I'm eating bad looking food but I'm eating at least twice a day." Your heart sank with that and you hugged one of your pillows tightly. "I am... Oh, I'm sleeping well thanks to you. You pretty much infiltrate in my dreams every night and it's pretty easy to stay asleep that way. And my eyes are still blue?" He said hesitantly. "What does that question even mean, doll?"

You giggled, blushing a little. "I have to make sure this is the real Bucky I'm talking to and that he still looks like a prince came out of a fairytale... with greasy hair."

"You keep bring up my greasy hair all the time and then you say you only accept it? Someone needs to check on her feelings."

"I'll show you exactly what I mean when you come back to me."

He smiled brightly. "How you been?"

Bucky heard your adorable, yet exaggerated sigh and he smiled to himself. "I mean, I'm good I guess. I don't have my favorite person with me and it's hard to get up in the morning and go training and eat and shower and be lazy and do laundry without said person. Every activity is a real pain. I finish everything faster but I don't know what to do with the time left, you make everything just more enjoyable; even doing laundry."

"Ah, I love doing laundry with you, doll." He said gently.

"Yeah, me too. You just add the perfect amount of detergent, I've been having trouble there." You signed again. "It's just so different without you. Everything I do. Everything, Bucky. Even going grocery shopping. I had forgotten how boring it was since we started going together. I even tried bringing Sam with me but it's never ever the same. I have no one to buy or cook an excessive amount of food for. I have watched everything that has been done of screen entrainment but I left our list of things to watch together untouched until you come back."

"I'm glad to hear that cause I'm hopefully coming back to you soon, doll. And we won't leave the couch until we've watched everything on that list. Well, maybe only to go grocery shopping and do laundry. How that sounds?"

"I can't wait, Bucky." You whispered, grinning content. "Oh! I also started painting!" You said randomly, full of excitement and Bucky smile grew ten times bigger on the other side of the line.

He loved how small things in life made you feel like the luckiest person in the world. It was easier for him that way to adapt his new life and this whole new world. To know that the person he loved the most would never bring anything heavy on him and expect him to go right away with it made him feel forever grateful to have met you at this point in life.

"Really? I vaguely remember you telling me that it wasn't your thing. I'm not delicate enough, you said."

"Yeah," you giggled. "Yes, I remember. But I'm telling you, I have so much time left on the day without my clingy Bucky bear I had go find something to do with it. So Nat suggested painting and I love it. It's so fun! I can't wait for you to see them. I went full on it, babe. I went and bought so much professional stuff for painting and, I'm impressed, I'm quite very good at it."

"Of course you are." He said tenderly and he wore a proud and loving expression on his face.

"I made some for you and some more, cough all of them cough, thinking about you."

"I can't wait to see them, doll. We'll hang them all on our future house together."

"That'll be lovely, yes! We could even have a painting room." You added with enthusiasm.

"Whatever you want." His husky voice sounded promising.

"Well, right now I just want to have you back."

"Me too, baby." He smiled sadly. "Hey, remember when you told me you wanted to escape for a week to a lake house one day, only you and me?"

"Yes." You said slowly with curiosity.

"Well, Steve just told me about the perfect place. You and I will go there when I come back and maybe after that we can go and check that on sale house you saw the other day."

"Oh my God, Bucky! Yes! Yes, I would love that."

"Then we-" Bucky started to speak but was interrupted by another voice. A voice that was foreign at the moment -for as long as you knew this call only included two people-, yet very familiar for the both of you. The voice that at first you thought you just heard coming from outside your bedroom door was actually closer than that. It was coming right out of the little receiver on your phone.

"Alright, you guys can talk about grocery shopping, buying a house and all that another time. I better interfere now before you start getting too sweet. Sorry to cut you off but I have to talk to Barnes and Rogers now."

It didn't take both of you long to realize that the brilliant, technology genius Tony Stark found a way to infiltrate your call and interrupt the conversation you both have longed to have for weeks.

"Tony!" You whined in annoyance.

"What the heck, Stark? How the hell did you do this?" Bucky sounded clearly confused and pissed but you still detected curiosity and amazement in his voice; as if he really wanted that last question to be answered and explained with detail. Steve finally looked up from his book with a confused frown.

"I will gladly explain that to you when you come back." Tony responded, and you could hear his smug smirk on his voice. "I had to take a different approach once I called Steve twenty two times only to hear the annoying voice of a woman saying that this line isn't available. Over, and over again."

"Tony, it's the first time we talk in about one month." You argued.

"I understand, darling, but the sooner I talk to them and give them instructions to fly back home, the sooner you'll get your Bucky bear back."

You gasped. "How long have you been listening to our conversation?!"

You loved Tony. You really did; as a father even. But, as much as he made you feel affection towards him, he could bother you just as much at times.

"Long enough to learn that you both love doing laundry. I was confused at first but you're dating a one hundred year old, it just suddenly made sense." Tony said just as fast and easy as breathing fresh air and you heard Bucky annoyed growl. "Can I speak to them now? I'll but you anything you want."

"Can't you just tell them later?" You pushed.

"No, it's very important."

"More important than me talking to the love of my life who I might or might not see ever again? He's risking his life."

"Don't be dramatic. I swear I will bring Barnes back to you alive."

"You better." You sighed. "You'll buy me a telescope. The best one." You gave up, but didn't let go the opportunity of getting something out of it.

"It's a deal." Tony agreed immediately.

"And you'll give Bucky and I two weeks off." You added, hoping he'll go with it.

"I'll think about it." Tony said after a few seconds.

"Fine. Bucky, please, please take care. Eat, drink water and clean your wounds. I love you tons. I can't wait to see you."

"Goodnight, doll. Take care you too. Take someone from the team with you when you go out, there's dangerous people and maniacs that have all of us on their radar." He sounded worried and you decided you weren't going to tease him.

"Yeah, I will."

"I love you so, so much." He said lovingly. "See you soon."

"See you... No, wait! I'll see you when I hang up. I just see you everywhere. I'll probably see you on Tony's face too." You joked.

"Alright, that's enough. Bye, (y/n)!" Tony said and right after you heard the beep beep beep; signaling the call had ended, or maybe he only kicked you out of it. However, you were able to catch Bucky laughing for what you said and that was just enough for you to spend the rest of the week with smile on your face.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfic #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan fanfiction #one short #fluff

[restingdomface]

So in a fit of brilliance I’ve decided the two posts tagged ‘coffee date au’ are set in the same universe where Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue agree to go on a date (they’re college buddies) but then suddenly they both show up slightly panicked and with a kid each (LXC doesn’t have a mom, and their dad is really agoraphobic since she died, and uncle is teaching a class rn, but NMJ still can’t convince his dad he should get a nanny for the kid and he’s having flashbacks to all the dangerous shit he chewed on as a kid and all the knives A-Sang could get his sticky hands on in their house, he swears he’s babyproofed like ten times now) and now it’s fate. Absolute love at first date and even if they break up they know damn well they’re gonna be sticking together for the sake of giving these kids some ounce of stability in their lives, and it’s actually kinda nice.

Anyways. One day when the kids are like six they meet Meng Yao, currently picking up like two kids from the daycare center (twins, his youngest siblings, now MXY cause he’s not born yet, but he’ll show up later) and they’re calling him brother and he’s fussing over them like a parent and then he looks at LXC and NMJ and they’re all ‘oh no he’s cute’ and invite a very stressed out looking Meng Yao (he has like twice as many classes as any sane person and he’s passing all of them with very high grades but he hasn’t slept in a while) to their weekly cafe date where they go to a nice little cafe off campus and buy a stupid amount of coffee and then spend the day playing with the kids cause LXC and NMJ never got played with as kids either, and MY isn’t really sure how to turn them down (they fukin hawt but also he’s on a scholarship and has basically no money that’s not going to keep the kids fed and clothed and he’s not really willing to spend it on frivolous things like dates) so he reluctantly ends up going, and it’s nice and they’re both basically rich boys who don’t make him pay and the kids make friends.

By the time they meet Jiang Chang and Wei Wuxian, the boys are both 10 and now Meng Yao is juggling two seven year olds and a one year old infant and tbh it’s actually Jin Zixuan who tracks him down when he finds out his father has been apparently dumping his bastard children on his first bastard son and Meng Yao looks TERRIFIED because he’s always been threatened that he’s not allowed to talk to his fathers only legitimate son and that if he does his father will cut off all contact entirely but leave him with the kids. Jin Guangshan has been keeping a tight leash on his finances, paying for his housing and stuff and food for the kids, but even then it’s barely enough and his boyfriends know that any sort of date or fun activity needs to be paid for by them or he can’t go at all because their father is terrible and just wants to abuse a poor kid who just made the mistake of agreeing to give his half siblings a better life.

Anyways. LXC and NMJ aren’t there yet or they likely would have threatened (lol LXC can’t threaten, he might try to deescalate the situation tho) Jin Zixuan, but they’re still not to the cafe yet and Meng Yao was in the middle of giving Mo Xuanyu a bottle and he’s basically stuck there, and he’s tired and the espresso hasn’t kicked in yet and JZX is saying something but MY isn’t paying attention.

Until the cafe doors open and two arguing ten year olds come barreling through, arguing about Pokémon or something and pulling each other’s hair. And JZX just sorta. Sighs.

He turns around to look at the kids with a disapproving frown. ‘A-Cheng, don’t pull A-Ying’s hair. Where did your sister get off to?’

Obviously, their older sister, JZX’s fiancé, was supposed to be keeping an eye on her terrible two, but A-Ying said she found a pretty hair pin in the store down the street and they got bored waiting for her and the shop owner scolded them for touching things, but then A-Cheng said A-Ying was the one touching stuff!! And now they’re arguing and pulling hair again and JZX has to get up and gently lead them both over to the table by the hand, getting them both settled down and asking what they want to drink.

This is so fucking surreal, Meng Yao almost forgets he has a fussy baby in his arms demanding attention until a slobbery little hand smacks him in the face and he goes back to gentle cooing at the little thing while giving him his bottle.

‘Oh! Is that A-Yu? Zi-gege said we were looking for A-Yu today! Can we play with him?’

Meng Yao isn’t sure what to do as the kids devolve from questions into arguing again. The twins are giving them funny looks, and since the boys were lead to the table, have finally abanonded their pretty drawings (they were drawing Yao-gege and also ErGe and DaGe too but they hadn’t gotten around to A-Zhan and A-Sang yet) to come back over to the table with Meng Yao and their new baby brother.

The two terrors stop arguing. A-Ying looks excitable. ‘I’m A-Ying! This is A-Cheng! Who are you?’

The twins look up at Meng Yao nervously, and he smiles at them gently, not knowing what else to do here.

Is Jin Zixuan here to take Xuanyu with him? He really hopes not. He isn’t sure what he and the girls would do to lose their new little brother. Things were tight around the house, just barely getting by with what they had, but Yao couldn’t lose him.

The first little girl, closest to Yao’s hand holding the bottle smiles. ‘I’m A-Ju, and this is my sister, A-Su.’

Su was a confident little one, but she had Yao’s tendency to watch people too critically before attempting to say anything. Ju tended to be more open.

JZX comes back and stands behind the boys after he’s given them a couple sandwiches and milky tea, and just stares at the two girls that he hadn’t realized were with Meng Yao, and his features went from hopeful to dashed quite fast.

The door to the cafe opened up and Meng Yao looked up to see NMJ and LXC coming in with a new woman that he didn’t recognize, but the boys across from him got excited to see immediately, shouting out for their jiejie. Meng Yao just sat back, feeling a little sick, entirely unsure what to do now.

The kids are playing together. A-Zhan is staring at A-Ying in a way that suggests he can’t figure the boy out, and A-Ying won’t stop poking at him like he’s some sort of toy. A-Zhan, for his favor, seems content to let him. A-Sang, as usual, abandoned all of them to draw with the twins.

Admittedly, Meng Yao might have been holding the baby a little bit tight when he finally agreed to go to a private table with JZX, but he hadn’t really calmed down from the request until JZX said NMJ could come with, and it takes a gentle hand putting pressure on his neck until he lets up the tense way he’s holding little Xuanyu at Mingjue’s guidance.

He can’t do this. They can’t do this. He’s had Xuanyu for almost six months now, he’s /bonded/ with the little termite. He’s watched the baby’s first steps, holding onto the couch as he tried to climb up to be with his sisters. He’s cut back on work hours.

Their father suggested he cut back on work all together. That comment had solidified it for Meng Yao in a way that nothing ever did before. Their father wanted him truly captive and reliant on his benevolence.

Zixuan, for his part, looks genuinely sorry. ‘I never came here to worry you. I don’t know what you /think/ I’m here for, but I promise I have only the best intentions, and I don’t want to take Xuanyu away.’

Meng Yao goes even more tense if possible, and his voice is shaking. ‘Don’t... don’t /want/. Do you /intend/?’

Zixuan makes a horrified little noise, shaking his head. ‘No no no, of course not. Not that either I promise.’

Meng Yao nearly sagged in place, tiredly turning the fussing child in his arms so he could gently bounce him, letting Xuanyu hold onto his thumb while Meng Yao forced himself to relax.

Zixuan sounded so desperately sad when he spoke again, and Yao could see tears in his eyes. ‘I’m... I’m so sorry he did this to you. I didn’t even know about the girls till they showed up.’

Meng Yao nodded a little, unsure what to say beyond a shrug. ‘If I had been less young, less naive, maybe I wouldn’t have so eagerly agreed just so he would have a reason to stay in my life. That doesn’t mean I won’t do whatever I have to to keep them.’

Zixuan nodded. ‘Of course, I would never want to do that. Listen, I didn’t know about the girls, or even if you wanted to keep Xuanyu, so I didn’t bring the paperwork with me, but I do know a way to get you out of all of... /this/.’

Meng Yao’s brows furrowed. ‘This?’

Xuanyu nodded slowly. ‘Father still pays for everything for you. Apartment, utilities, bills, all that goes through him. I, as his heir, have access to all those records. It’s supposed to be mother’s job, but she refuses to touch anything that has to do with fathers... illegitimate kids.’

Meng Yao doesn’t think he’s ever met someone who would talk so frankly about all this. It was oddly refreshing. Even NMJ and LXC didn’t want to admit their father had dug him a financial grave and was slowly burying him alive with the kids.

He frowned. ‘I can’t even move in with Mingjue or Xichen because he’s a raging homophobe who thinks I’ll corrupt the kids that he cares so little for he doesn’t even properly give us enough to survive off of.’

Zixuan looked honestly distressed at that. ‘Oh. Fuck that’s worse than I hoped for. I’m so sorry.’

Meng Yao sighed, moving to look out the window. He shrugged. ‘It’s not like I’m /forbidden/ from having a job. It’s just harder with three kids. Mingjue and Xichen have been helping out for years, he just doesn’t know it because he doesn’t realize that banks aren’t the only way to keep track of finances now days.’

Mingjue tolled his eyes, his thumb moving gently against Meng Yao’s neck. ‘It’s like the old man doesn’t even realize PayPal exists.’

Zixuan snorted. ‘He really doesn’t. That takes care of half of what I’m here for. Even if he was giving you enough that you didn’t have to worry about food or bills, I would still be here to give you the access info to an account I set up for you last week. When the papers are signed, the only thing anyone but you will be able to do is put in the money. No one but you can close the account or take anything out.’

Meng Yao looked at him in shock. ‘Why would you do that?’

Zixuan made a stressed out angry noise, nose wrinkling in the same way Yao’s did when he was mad. ‘Because, I’ve seen his finances. What he’s giving you barely counts as pocket change to his bloated rich ass. I could drop a five million on you right now to ask you to move away and never come back and he wouldn’t even /notice/ because that’s how little that amount would be to him. He wouldn’t even realize you four had left until he realized he couldn’t find any of you.’

Meng Yao considered it for a moment. ‘Why /dont/ you do that?’

Zixuan’s expression was pure distaste. ‘Because I don’t have any reason whatsoever to hate any of you. I feel terrible that you made the mistake of being fathers newest whipping dog, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pity you. You’re in a bad position, and I’m here to help you out of it. But I’m also not going to leave you without financial support. You may want to keep the kids, but these weren’t your mistakes to begin with, and father has been punishing you for years for it.’

Mingjue snorted, sitting back with his arms crossed. ‘You really don’t like your dad, do you kid?’

Zixuan shook his head. ‘Not particularly, no. Other than the bank account, I can convince father to give over full custody of the kids to you. No possible way to get any of them back.’

Meng Yao blinked at his half brother, sitting up straighter again, looking at him in shock. ‘How would you do that?’

Zixuan shrugs. ‘He’s not the only manipulative one in the family. I could get him to panic and drop custody entirely.’

And so that’s the story about how Meng Yao had a coffeeshop romance and also ended up with some kids out of it. Later on he and Mingjue and Xichen all move in together in a huge new house with all the kids and they’re. Happy.

#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #mdzs #lan xichen #twin jades of lan #nie brothers #nie mingjue #jin zixuan #mo xuanyu #lol yeah one of the girls is su lol fuck ages #coffee date au #lol wwx and jc come over regularly to play now its really cute #theyre always arguing its adorable yanli loves her baby terrors #age change #lol fuck jgs hes terrible and abusive #meng yao

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Can we have the tea on why firefly getting cancelled was a good call tho?

My confidence on this website grows in direct proportion to my follower count, and thus the opinions I post get steadily more controversial.  I actually got a mostly-positive response to my pro-Twilight post, so [glances around nervously] [dons fake beard] here it is:

IMHO, the producers were right to meddle in Firefly after its pilot, and they were right to cancel it after 12 episodes.

I enjoy Firefly.  I’ve rewatched “Safe” and “Out of Gas” over a dozen times, I had a Serenity poster on my wall in college, and I’ve got Mal’s quote about statues as an epigraph in my current NaNoWriMo project.  However.

First: they were right to kill the pilot.  (And I don’t mean Wash.)

The biggest problem with the first first episode, in a nutshell, is Mal.  He’s a potentially intriguing character, but he’s not likable, he’s not competent, and he’s not entertaining.  No antihero has to be all three, but every antihero has to be at least one, right off the bat.  A couple examples of antiheroes that got whole shows:

Dexter Morgan (Dexter) is a literal serial killer, so definitely not likable, but the pilot showcases that he’s terrifyingly competent with cellophane and also has an entertaining interior monologue.

Greg House (House MD) is questionably competent, and not that likable, but he’s highly entertaining because he immediately makes us laugh.

Jed Bartlett (West Wing) is largely incompetent at social matters, and he’s not funny at first, but he’s immediately charismatic and likable.

Frank Castle (Punisher) isn’t classically entertaining, and he’s not likable, but he’s shown as highly competent from minute one.

Malcolm Reynolds isn’t funny at first.  He responds to insults by punching Simon in the face or throwing Jayne out of the room, barely tolerates Zoe’s fond teasing, and doesn’t joke around much.  Malcolm Reynolds isn’t likable at first.  He acts openly contemptuous toward Book’s and Inara’s chosen professions, seriously considers killing Simon for trying to protect River, loots corpses, and ignores Kaylee.  Malcolm Reynolds isn’t competent at first.  He fails twice to find a fence for the protein blocks, fails to detect either Simon’s or Dobson’s lies, gets himself and his first mate shot in a bad deal, and barely escapes with his life.  He tells Simon that any day where he manages to keep his ship in the air counts as a success.

I don’t want to watch an entire show about this guy after seeing just the pilot, and I sympathize with anyone who feels the same way.  The only moment in 120 minutes of screentime that intrigues me is the smash cut between Mal announcing to Simon that Kaylee died and Mal roaring with laughter with the rest of his crew over a prank well-pulled.  It’s competent, funny, likable, and enough to make me want to tolerate this guy long enough to see what he’s going to do next.  I don’t blame the producers for demanding that we see Simon-pranking guy more, Simon-punching guy less.

The other tone or setting inconsistencies in the pilot — the characters riding horses when they’ve got a faster-than-light ship, the dirt and platinum constructions, the Chinese vendors offering street meat made out of dog, the heroic depiction of the vainglorious Confederate Browncoat cause, the crew all being fluent in Mandarin but not having a single Asian character in the whole cast* — make it hard to get a sense of what the show is meant to be.  The different elements just don’t make sense together.

Contrast that with “The Train Job,” the second first episode.  There are undeniably Western and sci-fi elements, but they actually make sense together: instead of characters inexplicably swapping land speeders for horses, there’s a spaceship swooping low over a bullet train.  Crow uses frontier weaponry, but it’s an intimidation tactic, and he does own a blaster.  The Asian-influenced elements make a lot more sense, appearing mostly as background details that hint at a melding of cultures.  Mal is warm and affectionate with his crew, willing to joke around to entertain the audience, and at least 43% less misogynistic toward Inara.  Niska plays an important role in plot and character, setting up the possibility that we haven’t heard the last of this plot and also acting as a foil to the Serenity crew, who might kill the occasional unarmed prisoner but at least do their best not to poison entire towns.

Is “The Train Job” as unique an episode as “Serenity”?  Nope.  Does it do a better job at getting someone who’s never heard of this show before to want to tune in next week?  I think so.

And then the cancellation.

Obviously, we’ll never know if people would’ve kept on turning in, because the series got less than a single season.  And I think that was the right call, from the producers’ point of view.  Firefly as a show might not have had the budgetary demands that, say, Game of Thrones did, but even an amateur like me can take one look at that series and go “damn, that looks expensive.”

There are NINE (9!) main characters, with series-regular salaries.

CGI was a lot more expensive and time-consuming in 2002, and literally every episode includes some exterior footage of the ship.

Every single episode involves the characters, or at least the cameras, leaving the ship and going to different phantasmagorical settings.

Even “Out of Gas” and “Objects in Space” had to take the time and money to build the junkyard and Jubal Early’s ship, respectively.

“Trash,” “Serenity,” “Jaynestown,” “The Message,” and “Heart of Gold” each introduces (and requires a build for) an entirely new fake planet.

Every single episode involves minor characters, and over half of them involve crowd scenes that require hundreds of extras.

Horses.  And cows.  Cost money.  As Wash says, shoulda gone with the counterfeit beagles.

The Serenity set itself was built to scale.  That’d save money in the long term, but in the short term required more camerawork to actually film in partially-enclosed locations.  When you add in the fact that the on-planet shots always required dollies, cranes, and similar equipment, it adds up.

On a similar note, “the Firefly shot” (as it became known) requires days of planning followed by hours of shooting to include all of the characters in one single extremely long camera pan (almost five minutes long, the second time it happens).  As a stylistic choice, it was a pricey one.

If Firefly had been spectacularly successful right from the start, it might have been able to justify its enormous budget.  The fact that it was modestly successful didn’t justify the amount of money it was sucking from other projects.  Over 90% of shows that make it as far as network deals never even get a pilot; over 90% of shows that go so far as shooting a pilot never make it past that first episode.  The network decided to spread the love (and the budget) around, rather than sinking it all into a single project currently taking the place of maybe a dozen other potential shows.

Not only that, but Firefly didn’t have a ton of options for cutting its budget down.  It could use fewer camera tricks, but that wouldn’t change the need for CGI just to convey the basic premise of the show.  It could cut a character or two, but the cast would still be unusually large.  It could have fewer on-planet scenes, but there’s only so much one can do with the characters if they’re cooped up inside their ship the whole time.  Firefly was also leeching resources away from that team’s two other enormously successful projects – Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel — and the low ratings of Buffy’s season 6 and Angel’s late season 3 into season 4 reflect that fact.  If it’d been allowed to continue, Firefly ran the risk of killing both those golden geese without ever getting to the point of producing eggs itself.

Do I wish there was more of the show out there?  Yes.  Do I wish the show had had time to evolve, hopefully into something with fewer problems of casual racism?  Hell yes.  Would I have pulled the plug as well, if I’d been in the room when it happened?  Probably yes.

*I am aware of the theory that, given the heavily Asian-influenced settings in the “Safe” flashbacks, the popularity of “Tam” as a Chinese last name, the choice of dark-haired light-skinned actors, and specific elements of the family’s pressure to excel but conform, that the Tams are meant to be Chinese.  Given that all four actors are white, and that there are already ample problems with anti-Chinese racism in this show, I strongly prefer not to ascribe to that theory.

#firefly #serenity #nothing to do with animorphs #firefly negativity #serenity negativity #joss whedon #whedon negativity #long post #anonymous #asks

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland

Summary: Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations.

But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: This is one of the first suggestions we got and HOO BOY IT WAS A GOOD ONE. The perfect mix of action, comedy, murder, and beating up racists.... exactly what we need in a book. 

~Spoiler-full discussion below~ 

The Good:

→ Jane

Geena: I don’t think I’ve read a book where the protagonist just has so much raw power like… at the risk of sounding like I’m from 2012.. But like… my mind was totally blown. We meet Jane during a training exercise at Miss Preston’s zombie slaughtering school where we learn about all the nasty details that lead to the school’s creation. SO ESSENTIALLY, following the civil war (which ended prematurely bc u kno…. zombies) slavery is “abolished” and instead the whites decided it’d be better to set up schools to train black and native people to kill zombies for them 🙄 AND that’s where we meet Jane, in the middle of a training exercise. We also learn that she’s the daughter of one of the more wealthy white women in the area which was very scandalous given the u kno.. R a c i s m… and that even her mother’s status couldn’t keep her from being sent to the school. Jane also recounts moments from her childhood such as almost being killed when she was born… and she does it so nonchalantly that I fucking died dude. 

Kae: Nobody: …..

Jane: Yeah my momma tried to drown me. She doesn’t think I remember but I do… ANYWAY. 

Geena: LMAOOOOOOO YEA I FUCKING LOST IT LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN LIKE SHE IS SO RAW… BUT YEA, also Justina Ireland does this cool thing where she has excerpts from the letters Jane sends her mother which outline events that are VERY different from what actually happens in the chapter, and fuck I loved that sm. Jane is I think one of the girls that can read at the school and she’s got a liking for the science behind the biology of zombies but she gets in trouble cONSTANTLY because she’s too cool for Miss Preston’s school… ok jk no she gets into trouble because she always manages to piss off that one racist ass bitch, Miss Anderson. In the first few chapters we learn that Jane is smart, strong, and a total babe even though she doesn’t think so :(. 

I loved how Jane was written to be slightly hot-headed but not like bullheaded, like she would get angry real quick but she’d know when to act on her urges to beat the shit out of people. And I guess this stems from her childhood like…. SHE MURDERS HER DAD IN COLD BLOOD BC HE TRIED TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUTTA HER and also to preserve her mom’s secret which was that she was a white-passing black woman. And bc her dad was a racist white man Jane knew that wouldn’t bode well for anyone…. She did all this when she was like eight so like…. WILD (It’s what he deserved tho) but yea ever since then Jane’s been playing the game like a pro. She’s a pro zombie slayer that doesn’t take shit from ANYONE even when it lands her in trouble, and she cares a lot for the people around her even though she might pretend that she’s only out to get back to her mom. AND I LOVE HER for everything she does, but FUCK SHE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN THIS BOOK THAT IT HURT TO READ. ALSO WE FIND OUT THAT SHE’S BI…. WE STAN A BISEXUAL BADASS

→ Katherine

Kae:  Geena summed up, Jane very well! Jane is smart (and could read so her teachers were pissed), strong, and just an all around badass. I really love her. She deserves the world. 

Well, moving on to Katherine. Katherine is another student at Miss. Prestons school and she and Jane don’t get along well. Kate, as Jane calls her, which Katherine HATES, because she likes to be called by her full name. She is white passing with very light skin and blue eyes. She has blonde, loose curly hair and is described as absolutely gorgeous. Jane is a little jealous of her and hates admitting it. But she’s like “She’s gorgeous, it is what it is… But she’s from Virgina so ugh.” Katherine is right up to par with Jane’s zombie slaying skills and is the top of her class. Katherine is dainty, bougie, and a total rule follower. She’s into fashion and trying to find a good job protecting white folks from zombies when she graduates Miss. Prestons. She thinks of Jane as a little unruly and wild. But she tries her damndest to be respectful to Jane, even if they can’t stand each other.  

So, moving forward a bit. Kate is kind of nosey so she’s always catching Jane doing some shit she isn’t supposed to be doing… like having books smuggled to her by a boy named Red Jack. She also overhears Jane and Jack discussing how his sister went missing and he needs help to find her. So, she self invites and tags along later that night. In the mean time,  Jane and Kate have a lecture they need to attend to. When they get there, they realize that there is going to be a demonstration of proof that a “Shambler Cure” actually works. Shamblers are zombies. So this professor has a cage of three zombies and has some poor, black man risk himself and get bit. He has supposedly already been injected with the cure. Jane was like “this shit fake… He boutta die.” And Jane tries to interrupt, but she is quickly hushed. The antidote or cure or whatever DOESN’T work and the dude turns into a zombie. Jane shoots him down, then the other zombies get loose and now everyone is in a panic. Jane and Katherine take them down and save the day. A few weeks later, that are invited to the mayors house to “protect” it. (They really were only asked just so they could show up and be seen…) Someone turns into a Shambler, Jane takes them down, then that’s settled. So now they’ve saved the day TWICE. 

Red Jack has somehow SNUCK IN to the damn mayors house, so him and Jane do some snooping. They get caught. Then by default, Katherine gets in trouble. Well, Katherine gets in trouble because she is too pretty and none of the white women want her around because they think their husbands or whoever will start to be like👀  and the women get jealous. Katherine was out of a job before it even started because she’s just too damn gorgeous. So Kate, Jane, and Red Jack get sent off to the WILD WILD WEST BAYBEEE. But it actually sucks.  Let’s talk about Red Jack before we get into that though.

Geena: NGL KATE’S THE TYPE OF GIRL I WOULD’VE ABSOLUTELY HATED TOO IF I WAS JANE BUT!!!!! I love how we get to see the friendship develop between the two as they both learn about each other’s past and that maybe they CAN be friends. Also, Kate is ace and wants to travel the world which I RESPECT… but oh yea I was gonna say Jane and Kate are the true enemies to best friends trope. ALSO HER BACKSTORY IS SAD BRUH LIKE everyone looking down on her bc she’s from virginia smh……… okay but seriously the fact that Kate was constantly trying so hard to compensate for the fact that she came from a brothel that she became Miss Perfect (OR AT LEAST that’s what we learn from Jane’s perspective and as @zemenipearls pointed out Jane isn’t a reliable narrator so Kate’s backstory is kinda shady at this point but that’s what we think it is) 

→ Red Jack 

Kae: Let’s talk about Red Jack! Jackson Keats, aka Red Jack is Jane's ex boyfriend. He got the name “Red Jack” because he’s a redbone. He’s described with light brown skin and blue eyes. He also has a gold tooth and short curly hair with hints of auburn. He’s smart and can scheme his ass off and is known for taking big risks.  He also smuggles Jane books when she ask and send letters out to her mother for her. It’s also noted that he cannot read. He deals in dirty business, mostly scamming people out of money. But the kid has to make a living! I like him. Jack has a little sister named Lilly who is white passing. So he sent her with a nice white family who would let her blend in with them so she could avoid being sent off to a school like Miss. Prestons. Jack and Jane, despite them being exes, are decent friends I think. Jane hates to admit it, but she still likes Jack (even though he gets on her nerves). 

At a certain point, Jack’s little sister, along with the family she is staying with, completely disappear. Their house in still in tact, but they aren’t there. He’s worried because his sister would’ve sent word if she knew they were leaving. But he hadn’t heard a thing from her, and went to Jane. So Jane, Jack, and Kate end up at the Spencers’ house to look for clues. They can’t find anything, but they DO overhear Miss. Anderson and two other men say that they needed to clean the house out and remove all of their belongings. 

Later, when we get to the mayor’s dinner party that was previously mentioned, Jack and Jane run into each other and go snooping around the governor's office. There, Miss. Anderson is waiting for them and they are CAUGHT. She drags them to the Mayor’s basement where he is ready to send them off to a town called, Summerland, that is way out west. It’s a town where he is trying to uphold white supremecy and slavery.There, he will make sure that anyone who is black, is treated as if they are still slaves.  A man named Mr. Redfern, a Native man, escorts them out West. They are given dulled down weapons to protect the town from Shamblers, and well, this is just no good. When Jack and the crew arrive in Summerland, he punches the shit out of Redfern and tries to make a run for it. He is then tackled, jailed, and that’s the last we see of him… for a while. 

Geena: holy shit Kae litcherally outlined everything about Red Jack PERFECTLY. He’s how you would say a rascal… a cute rascal (Jane would agree). 

Kae: Lmao Jane’s got taste. I gotta give her that. BAD BOYZ are my thing lowkey

Geena: oKAY but SEE RED JACK IS A BAD BOI WITH A GOOD HEART. I mean yeh he and Jane had a “messy breakup” but they were still friends and he smuggled out letters for her mom and brought her books, and she helped him around with his ~business~ however shady it was. But I also liked how he was an idiot, I mean in the sense that UNLIKE JANE who knows how to control her anger and use it in the future, Jack just pops off like how Kae mentioned him decking Mr. Redfern. Jane thought about it but also thought ahead and realized she wouldn’t get far doing that. Red Jack tho… Boy thought he could outrun like 3 grown men 😭 AND WHEN THE READER AND JANE WERE LED TO BELIEVE THAT HE’D DIED?? BRO??? I WAS LIKE…. HOW U GONNA MAKE THIS CHARACTER A CHARMING LIL SHIT AND THEN KILL HIM ALMOST RIGHT AWAY…. BUT then when he came back I WAS THROWN.

Time to project BUT I love characters like Red Jack you know they’re shady and like to play everything off as a joke but when they get serious… they get serious. And I wonder what role he’s going to play in the second book, because all he cares about in his life is his family aka Lily right… Would he accompany Kate and Jane to save her momma when it would mean leaving Lily with people he probably can’t fully trust? Also, how did Jane and Red Jack even meet? I think it’d be cool to see where he came from, and what happened to the rest of his family and that’s another reason why I can’t wait till book 2!  

The Bad:

→ Miss. Preston and Miss Anderson

Geena: Man, we don’t even meet Miss Preston that long in the book like she has a few scenes here and there but god she is the fucking worst! Who runs a school and houses young black women and gives them a refined education with training with specialized weapons.. Only to ship them to a town where slavery is making a comeback??  And pretending like you care about them?? Disgusting… We all assume that Miss Preston is innocent and is busy running her school until the dinner that Kae has mentioned above where we find out that she’s in cahoots with the Mayor and has been supplying him girls from her school for as long as he has needed them… how “white allies” be sometimes… I really hope… from the bottom of my heart that she was devoured by a shambler bc it’s the only fate that she deserves you know… And then we have the hoe ass Miss Anderson who didn’t even try to hide her contempt of Jane and doted on Katherine → This we realize later into the book is solely because of how white-passing Katherine was and because Miss Anderson is a big ol’ racist who uses slurs like it’s nobody's business. 

Now, I realize that Ireland was trying to outline the different types of racists you come across in life. There’s those that pretend to be your friend and support you up front but behind your back they won’t hesitate to fuck you over (aka Miss Preston), like Miss Preston does help out Jane initially when she’s unfairly tested by Miss Anderson, but Preston also is the one to support sending Jane to Summerland so like….. and also we have your standard brand of racist aka Miss Anderson that doesn’t even try to hide how antiblack and dehumanizing she is because she straight up doesn’t care and knows that Jane or anybody else can do shit about it. 

→ Mr. Redfern

Kae: Okay, so now we’ve got Mr. Redfern. Mr. Redfern is a tall,  handsome, Native American man who is always scowling at Jane. He doesn’t like her and she isn’t sure why… That is, until our girl asks him. He thinks she is wasting her talents when she sneaks out and kills shamblers in the night. 

Geena: OKAY WAIT WAIT WAIT THIS BRINGS UP THE QUESTION.. HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN SPYING ON HER

Kae: OHHHH SHIT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. YOOO. HE HAD TO HAVE BEEN WATCHING HER FOR MONTHS. 

Geena: I FEEL LIKE…. THERE’S SOMETHING WE’RE MISSING BUT IDK WHAT

Kae: THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING A SPEED READER. I BE MISSIN’ SHIT. Whew. Okay, so as you can see, we’ve just come to a sudden realization! Mr. Redfern is a sneaky son of a gun. 

But uhh, he mentions that he was taken from his tribe and sent off to one of the “Indian Shambler Schools” where he was given a new identity, etc. This is also basically what happened to Native Children back in those days, in order to erase their heritage and their entire selves. This was how they forced people to assimilate. They were sent to Indian Industrial Schools. 

Mr. Redfern is in cahoots with the Mayor (by force) and is the one to basically help kidnap Jackson, Jane, and Katherine. He stuffs them on a train for a week and at the end of their trip, they are out west. We don’t see him again after this. But later, we find out that he made Jackson a deal and sent him to a town not too far from Summerland to do “business”. Thus, when Jack returns to Summerland to steal ammunition for said town, he runs into Jane and Katherine and tells them Red Jack helped him out. 

ALTHOUGHHHH, REDFERN HELPED JACKSON, I DON’T LIKE HIM. HE WAS UNNECESSARILY MEAN TO JANE AND KIDNAPPED THE CREW AND THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. 

Geena: Yess Mr. Redfern, the man we thought would be an ally but turned out to be the opposite. Once again this mimics history I suppose because there were instances of indigenous people aiding the whites when it came to slavery and I suppose Ireland was trying to write that but she also makes it writes that while he is helping them he doesn’t seem too proud of it. But the matter of the fact is, he’s still helping enforce the white man’s rules. Though I do hope with the turn of the second book Mr. Redfern leaves that shit behind and decides to fully switch sides, aka let the whites to their own dirty work and help the people with a real cause.

ALSO, I keep talking about the second book but I really hope we meet more indigenous characters that aren’t Mr. Redfern you know, but those that aren’t under the thumb of a white person :( ALTHOUGH, I love how Ireland has the excerpt at the end where it mentions the residential schools in-depth and she encourages readers to research more of it which leads me to believe that we’ll be hearing more of them coming the next book as well. 

Kae: Just one more small part. I was like, completely convinced that those looks Redfern were shooting at Jane was because he thought she was cute. That is until Jane was like “alright, he CLEARLY doesn’t like me” and I was like oh… I totally misread those signals and I’m an idiot. BUT WHATEVER IT’s FINE. I do, however, think he will turn around. I don’t think he’s like, inherently bad. He’s just forced to do bad shit. Everyone is trying to survive in this world and I’m NOT giving him an excuse, but like, I get it. Ya feel me?

Geena: oKAY BUT KAE I TOO THOUGHT HE WAS INTO HER SO THAT MAKES US BOTH BOOBOO THE FOOL. AND YEA, it comes down to survival in a world where you’re not even considered human BUT that doesn’t excuse any actions. 

Kae: .jpg “we irritating” meme 

Geena: Is it even our review if we don’t have at least one (1) meme reference

The Ugly:  

→ Every single white person (minus Mr. Gideon) 

Geena: So I really enjoyed this book but Justina Ireland didn’t pull any punches when it came down to the true and dark details of the time period she was writing. She captures the essence of white folks, even during an apocalypse they find the time to push their white supremacy and tread on the backs of the black and indigenous people. I was grinding my teeth for a majority of the book, the way people would talk down to all the black characters and simply refer to them as though they weren’t human.

Mayor Carr, the Sheriff, and the Priest are the faces of white supremacy that think it’s in their destiny to put down bipoc and use them as slaves (though they won’t call it that) and fuck dude… Mayor Carr is like Miss Preston, pretends to be an ally and is using the people he pretends to support as fodder for his white supremacist wasteland. Even Jane mentions that he’s no better than other white men but people pretend he’s the best politician they have.

The Sheriff doesn’t even disguise his racism, he’s your typical ‘slavery wasn’t that bad’ assfuck and the way he treats Katherine bc he has an ugly crush on her thinking she’s white is disgusting bc you know if he knew that she’s simply white-passing he’d probably murder her in cold blood… and when he finds out, the exact thing Jane was afraid would happen to her mother almost happens to Katherine (she almost dies at the hand of the Sheriff’s fugly ass)....and fuck Katherine handled it so well even though she was very much uncomfortable the whole time. And the way Jane murdered him?? With no remorse… I fucking loved that, IDK if Justina Ireland was trying to go for a Jane is unhinged vibe (bc that’s how Katherine reacted to it) but I was like fuck yea girl shoot him a few times more for good measure.

The Priest is the biggest shit of them all like I cannot even begin to…… Every time I think of his wrinkly ass my blood pressure rises three levels because holy fuck. He preaches that he’s a holy man and that he’s only carrying out the orders of God and so on, and it’s DIGOSTENG the way he uses the bible as a weapon to put down the black and indigenous folk around Summerland. He blames them for how they look and says it’s their duty to “serve their white superiors” as redemption so that they may get a place in heaven 🙄🙄🙄🙄 This reminds me of what Kae had mentioned before about the story of Nate Turner who knew how to read so the plantation owners would make him read a fucked-up version of the bible to the others and like….. White people really took a faith founded by a brown man and turned it into a weapon for their white supremacy it’s disgusting. But what was really sad was that there are still people to this day like the Priest that have pretty hefty roles in churches and so on… spewing their racist rhetoric and god I can’t even fucking deal, every time he and Jane interacted I just wanted her to snap his neck in half and call it a day…. Like what was his old ass gonna do? Fart? 

Kae: Sweet! So Geena pretty much covered everything. The Sheriff is a whole ass bitch and he has a bunch of lackeys doing his dirty work while he parades around Summerland and berates anyone who is of colour. Basically, he has black people shipped out to the West so they can sacrifice themselves to defend Summerlands inhabitants with faulty weaponry and experiments. When Jane brings up that she needs better weapons so she can do her job, she’s slapped for it and told to deal with it. The black people and everyone else who is considered of low status, are treated horribly. They’re all shoved in a hot attic with thin, dirty blankets to sleep on the floor. They are locked in their rooms at night and forbidden to leave until it is time for them to work again. They all also barely have enough to eat, so essentially, they are starving. Jane and her new companions are overworked, underfed, and are only able to bathe once a week. It’s truly barbaric. The Sheriff wants to make sure they know they are “below” white people and were only created to serve them. It’s disgusting and I wanted to kill the man myself. It was infuriating reading how horrible they were treated and all of the slurs they were called. Slurs I forgot even existed. 

The Sheriff catches Jane one night after she had snuck out, and beats her in front of the whole town. He ties her to a pole, strips her shirt off, and whips her. I actually had to skip that part because I couldn’t bare to read it. It was too much and I just couldn’t do it. I’ve seen enough of it. Jane, even though she is inches away from death, is saved by Katherine speaking out against it. Since the Sheriff has a crush on her, he stops, and allows Jane to join her in the safe part of Summerland to be her servant. I usually don’t like reading books about my people being so poorly treated, but Jane shot his ass point blank when she had the opportunity and I reveled in that. I love to see us fight back! 

As for the Priest, he is the Sheriff’s father so he helps influence the bullshit that goes on in town. It is also heavily implied that underestimating the Priest is not the best decision. He apparently beat someone to death so that’s fuckin wild, considering how much of an old racist fuck he is. ANYWAY, he gives sermons every night on how “the Negro” was meant to serve and how they are to “stay in their place” and I cringed through the whole thing. It was horrible. Almost no one in the town likes the Sheriff or the Priest. The whore’s, the “slaves”, and Mr. Gideon (the Mayor's son), were all forced to be in Summerland and they hate it and the two bastards in charge. This drives them to conduct a plan to kill them both so they can escape. The plan was to have Katherine pretend to be white, have the Sherif fall in love with her, then Jane takes him out of the picture. But things didn’t go as planned so it took a few extra steps of danger BUT they made it and scarcely avoided a big zombie horde, and made it out. 

Geena: OH YEA MR. GIDEON….. He’s supposed to be this scientist guy with a limp which we find out he does on purpose, and he KNOWS that Katherine is white-passing but he doesn’t say shit bc unlike the rest of the white men there he isn’t racist and he’s trying to figure out a way out of the town… Also, this man-made an electricity grid run off of zombies and that was so fucking funny to me for no reason other than it reminded me of a scene from a sitcom when Jane walked in on the contraption. ALSO, JANE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A THING FOR MR. GIDEON AND IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE RECIPROCATED? LIKE It’s funny reading Jane’s attraction to him like “he’s nerdy lookin… but in a cute way” but am I here for it?? Undecided...

Conclusion

Kae: So in conclusion, this book was really good. I enjoyed reading this AU of a zombfied civil war. It was interesting to see how things played out. I thought the world-building was pretty cool and I like how the South was called “The lost states” because they’d been lost to zombies. They also LOST THE WAR LMAOOO BITCHASSES. Anywaaaaay, I think Jane is such a strong, beautifully written character. She’s hotheaded, but she isn’t impulsive. She’s brave and she knows when to strike. She is smart, cunning, and a joy to be around. If she were real, I’d absolutely be her friend. She’s my kind of person. She keeps it real and I like that. Katherine is kind of complex and I can’t wait to find out more about her. She hides behind this proper, boujie demeanor, but I think a lot of it is a facade. I like how though Katherine is white-passing, she NEVER forgets or dismisses that she is black. She knows who she is and she hated pretending to be white. As for Jackson! He's impulsive, suave motherfucker and I hope we see more of him too! I think he’s going to have a bigger role to play in the next book and I’m ready to see what it’ll be. I can’t wait to find out what is in store for these characters because they are all beautifully written and their friendships are puuuure baybeeee.

Geena: GIRL YOU SUMMED UP ALL THE CHARACTERS REALLY WELL!!! You got everything that I loved about Jane, she’d be my idol irl… and Katherine is a really complex character and I’m excited to see how her story unfolds in the next book. SPEAKING OF WHICH…. THE COVER FOR THAT DROPPED AND O MY GOD…….. KATE AND JANE LOOK LIKE ABSOLUTE BABES and I cAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM FUCK SHIT UP!

#Dread Nation #Justina Ireland #book review #booklr #dread nation review #wetalkinboutbooks #bookish #bookblr #book blogger #book blogging #books #reading

[scornedlove]

Chapter Twenty One

ROBYN

“Thanks for coming with me today.” Melanie beamed, showing her pearly whites as she arranged her photos on the display. Jermaine usually accompanied her during festival events she worked to keep her company, but since we were leaving for Barbados tomorrow, we made it a girl’s night. She was a vendor for “Jazz on the Lawn” this year, a cultural event for arts in the city. She brought sixteen photographs and sold half in the first hour we’ve been here, I felt like a proud big sister.

“Of course, you know this is my kind of shit; food, music, and art. It’s like we’re getting a head start for crop over, I wish Rayven would’ve came.” I frowned, thinking about how antisocial she’s been lately. She seemed to be back to herself, but different all together. She’s a lot quieter than before and a complete homebody. She doesn’t leave home, other than when we go to work. I never thought it was possible, but I’m starting to miss her smart mouth.

“She’ll get back to herself eventually, but I like the new Rayven a little better” she admitted with a shrug. "And this don’t compare to crop over, I can’t wait”

“True, but I swear this event is twice as big as it was the last time I came. When Chris and I used to come here together, I would lay out on a blanket and listen to the music while he sold his paintings, and it was never this many people” I reminisced aloud, while rocking along to the band currently playing.

“Un-un. You gotta stop doing that” she frowned, shaking her head.

“Doing what?” I asked confused. I was only doing a slight rock to the beat, if she was already embarrassed, she hadn’t seen nothing yet.

“Stop referencing him in every conversation” she criticized, before turning on her professional face and voice to approach a couple who was coming over to browse her photos. She talked as they browsed until they found one they both couldn’t walk away from.

“You gotta understand that it’s hard not to mention him, we were together for almost as long as I been here. He’s apart of damn near every memory I have, especially in the city” I explained, as soon as her customers were out of ear shot.

“I’m sorry sis, but it’s time to make some new memories. Have you talked to Dre recently?” she asked changing the subject. She swore he was the answer to my problems, but I begged to differ. He’s just as damaged as I am, only difference is he doesn’t even realize it.

“No. I’ve been so busy.  Working non-stop. We’ll be dropping the uh winter collection for River Island soon” I stammered while playing with my hair.

“Excuses, excuses” she rolled her eyes, giving me a dismissive wave. “That boy loves you. You need to give him a real chance”

“What makes you think he ‘loves’ me?” I scoffed, entertaining her assumptions.

“Do you not remember me giving Jermaine the same run around you’re giving Dre? Look at us now.” she smiled, glancing down at her ring finger.

“So , now that you’ve been married for five minutes, you’re the love expert” I chuckled and she flipped me off.

“No, I’m not an expert. I took good advice from my sister and now I couldn’t be happier”

“You’re just happy to be getting consistent dick after that long ass drought” I snickered . It was still unbelievable that my promiscuous best friend somehow ended up married before me, so it was hard to take her serious.

“Laugh all you want, but you’re right. I get consistent dick, massages, conversation, and love in general. Let that sink in” she winked, leaving me to tend to her growing crowd, as a few more people came over.

The smell of food filled my nostrils while I watched and waited. Mel was working, so I found myself wondering off to find something to eat. The closest thing I found was a taco truck and thankfully there was only a handful of people in line.

“Lots of hot sauce please.” I gave the friendliest smile I could, encouraging the worker to give extra after handing me our food. I was so excited about the extra hot sauce he gave me, that I didn’t notice I was being watched.

“Let me help you with that!” someone called out, stepping out of line to help me balance the drinks, food, and my wallet, as I was about to walk past.

“Chris? What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep my face platonic. I wasn’t his biggest fan right now. Somehow, I inadvertently befriended his girlfriend. “I didn’t realize you still participated in this event.”

“I don’t, but I know several artists that are. I’m here for support” he shrugged, before taking the drinks I was carrying.

“Who are you here with?” I asked, praying it wasn’t Tae. She came down to the boutique a few weeks ago. We went over some ideas, then tweaked them back and forth through email for a few days. Eventually, we came up with a design that she loved for their bridesmaid dresses. I'm over her existence in general. All she talked about was how ‘in love’ her and her man were, and there was no way Chris was that into her.

“I came with Trey. He’s out looking for the beer, while I get the food.” he replied, before asking me the same thing.

“I’m here with Mel” I revealed, nodding towards her as I began to walk in that direction. Her crowd had died down and she was grinning from ear to ear while texting. That is, until she looked up and spotted Chris following my lead.

“Why am I not surprised?” she asked throwing her hands up and shaking her head at me.

"You're looking good too Mel" Chris nodded towards her, killing her with kindness. I knew he was still on her bad side, so I didn’t expect her to be nice or even hold her tongue around him.

"Yup" she retorted, folding her arms and refusing to look at him. He looked at me as if there was something I could say to change her attitude, but I stayed out of it.

“Trey’s wedding is soon, on the thirty-first. Are ya’ll going to make it?” he asked changing the subject while looking from her to me.

“Nope” Mel replied before taking her Coke from his hand and the plate of tacos from me, then dismissing herself.

"She'll come around ...I hope" I mumbled, frowning at her spitefulness.

"Speaking of coming around, T told me you came by the gallery last week. I wish you would've told me you were coming; we could've grabbed a bite to eat or something"

"Well I was in the neighborhood and it's been a minute so, I decided to see what you've been up to lately. By the way, I was not disappointed" I smiled, thinking of the piece I purchased. It was completely different from anything he’s ever done.

“Thanks. I’ve fallen in love with spray paint” he admitted, a broad smile spreading across his face revealed his dimples.

“There you are. I called you several times bro!” Trey interjected, coming from behind Chris and slapping his shoulder. I jumped back a little, then grabbed my drink so they didn’t drop it with all their roughing around.

“My bad, I ran into Robyn and got sidetracked”

“Robyn?!” Trey exclaimed, finally noticing me. He pulled me into a bear hug then playfully spun me around, making my shirt twirl. “You’re looking good girl”

“You look good too” I gushed. “Congrats on everything. I’m sorry I won’t be able to make the wedding but I’m so happy for you and Lala”

“Thank you. Who’s the lucky guy?” he asked, noticing the diamond on my ring finger. Chris’ eyes widened as he struggled to look around Trey and get a glimpse of the ring himself.

“Oh nah, that’s not that kind of ring” I explained, pulling my hand back. I could’ve sworn I heard Chris sigh of relief and his posture relaxed.

“Did you find the beer or nah?” Chris interrupted, getting between us.

“No, but check this out” he grinned, pulling a clear plastic bag from his pocket and holding it up to Chris’ nose.

“That shit nasty. I got a stick in the car. You trying to blow right now?” he asked, ready to smoke.

“Yeah, let me see if I can find us a couple of coronas first, then I’ll meet you at the car. It was good seeing you Robyn” he added, before disappearing into the crowd.

“So, Mama’s grilling on Labor Day this year” Chris stated, turning his attention back to me. “I told her about running into you and she wanted me to invite you.” he revealed, pulling off his cap and running his hands across the top of his head.

“Why doesn’t she invite your current girlfriend?” I probed, wondering what Ms. Joyce was up to.

“She did, but she won’t be able to make it. She has something going on with her family”

“I don’t know if I’ll be in the city then, but I’ll let you know.” I replied with a half shrug. “I’m trying to hit that blunt with ya’ll tho”

“Since when do you smoke?” he asked, raising his brows.

“Since I’m grown and do what I want” I snapped, throwing my hands on my hips. 

“Damn, my bad. I didn’t mean to offend you. I never imagined you smoking weed” he grinned, biting his bottom lip.  

“Well I’m not the Robyn you used to know.”

“That’s perfect, because I’m not the Chris you used to know” he replied, before leading the way to the parking lot.

We hot boxed two blunts of some of the strongest weed I’d ever had in Trey’s car and my high ass couldn’t stop giggling. No matter how corny their jokes were, Chris and Trey had me in the back seat in tears for twenty minutes straight.

“If I would’ve known you get like this after smoking, we would’ve been doing it together.” Chris confessed when Trey stepped out of the car to take a phone call.

“I'm not usually this giggly. Actually, smoking usually makes me horny” I replied when I finally caught my breath.

“We’re not even going to go there”

“Why not? We can’t talk about sex if we aren’t having it?”

“Hell nah, talk about that shit with Mel. I don’t want to hear shit about you fucking anybody else.”

“Who says I’m fucking anybody else?” I smirked, enjoying the jealousy on his face.

“So, you’re gonna sit here and tell me you haven’t had sex since we’ve been together?” he quizzed, tilting his head to the side.

“That’s not what I said. I’m not fucking anyone currently, but I’ve been with one person since you.” I admitted unapologetically, before opening the door and putting the blunt out on the ground.

“I’ve had my share” he agreed with a nod, refusing to give an exact number.

“Well, I bet none of em got nothing on me” I smirked, noticing the bulge in his pants.

“You sound pretty confident”

"Because you're happy to see me” I grinned, nodding towards his erection.

“My bad. It's not you- I mean, not like you don't look good, because you do." He stammered with bright red cheeks while adjusting himself. "It’s been awhile”

“Oh, your girlfriend got you on punishment? I’m sure you deserve it” I teased with a giggle. “What you do?”

“It’s not even like that” he paused, then sighed when he saw me waiting for him to continue. “she’s celibate”

“So ya’ll haven’t even...?” I gasped and he quickly replied with a shake of the head.

“Damn, you went from having your cookie and eating it too, to having a drought!" I laughed loudly as my phone started to ring.

It was Mel cursing me for leaving her for so long. I started to argue that she was being dramatic, but then I noticed we had been gone for almost an hour.  I hung up with her and promised Chris we'd hang out again soon before we parted ways.

Surprisingly, Mel didn’t complain or have one negative thing to say when I came back. She sold everything she’d brought so we hung out for another hour before calling it a night.

Early the next morning, Rayven claimed she wasn’t feeling good and decided to sit out on crop over. I would’ve made a big deal about it, but I remembered the last encounter she had with her mom. That had to be the real reason she was avoiding BIM.

“The holidays will be here in no time; I’ll go then.” she groaned with her face in her pillow as I stood there with my hands on my hips. “Fine, I guess you can stay with Ollie and Pepe” I shrugged without a fight. I was glad I wouldn’t have to board my babies, and it’s not like I could force her to go anyway.

An hour later, Mel and I boarded the plane with so much excitement. We had fun people watching and talking shit, but it wasn’t long before she passed out and I was on my own. I wish I had that gift, but I was no longer taking the anxiety medicines that could help with that. I hadn’t even noticed I was taking less the past couple of months. Only, I was also smoking more and that usually did the trick a lot faster.

Instead of sleeping, I found myself catching up on some work. Fashion week was creeping up and there were a couple pieces that didn’t feel complete. I was being indecisive on some finishing touches.

I was also working on an event of my own. Last year, I was so depressed that I didn’t even celebrate the first anniversary of Robyn’s. This year, we’re going to begin an annual fashion show and I was keen to the idea of my very own catwalk. It meant more work, but I was more motivated than I’ve been in awhile and I wanted to milk this feeling as much as I can.

We were close to landing when I completed my plan and I felt accomplished. So much that I couldn’t wait to get back to put my ideas into effect.  The moment we arrived, that changed. Work slipped my mind as the smell of the ocean filled me up and a satisfied feeling crept over me, we were home.

We spent the night at moms catching up with the family and getting ready for carnival. I talk to my family several times a week, but I never notice how much things are changing until I see them.

Rorrey was working on music at the studio. He and Lele were still going strong. They were three years in and so in love with each other. They had an innocent puppy love, but could still teach grown folk a thing or two.

Rajad finally had his first girlfriend so he was at her place. I had yet to meet her, but he sent me some pictures of them. She was beautiful and I've never saw my brother smile so big, so I knew she was good for him.

Mom and dad were also bit by the damn love bug. They kept stealing kisses, so I assumed they were on good terms. It bugged me, but I kept my opinion to myself.

Gran looked happy, but was frailer than the last time I saw her. I noticed Bravo being extra careful with her, as if she were a china doll. Nothing or no one could stop her from wukking up with us girls. She danced as island music blasted through the house until her feet hurt. Mel, Lele, and I wined and gave ourselves a warm up for tomorrow until the sun started to creep up.

Carnival was a blast as always. It came and went so fast. All I remember is wining on whoever was close enough and drinking with Lele as if our lives depended on it. I could always count on her to be my turn up partner. Today was no different and after barfing for the second time since we got to the beach, I had finally taken the edge off.

“See Rob? What I tell ya bout mixin that shit?” Lele cackled. I flipped her off and rolled my eyes at the same time. She hiccuped loud as hell, then threw her head back in laughter. She was laughing so hard, she almost dropped the cup she was holding.

While the waves crashed behind us, Mel, Ella, Le, Nita, and I were all huddled around a bonfire. We were smoking and vibing to Rorrey's latest music, while recuperating from today’s festivities.

“You know I gotta ask you Mel” Nita began with a smirk, after passing up on the blunt. “How’s it feel for ya pokey to be back in business?” 

“It feels fuckin fantastic” Mel exclaimed as she proceeded to explain to us that her husband has a magic dick. 

“But the best part isn’t even about the sex, Jermaine is a rare breed. He’s so attentive and supportive, things I didn’t even know I wanted in a man, I find in him.”

“Blasted, I need to be celibate” Nita thought aloud.

“That’s what all the hoes are doing now days” I teased, before falling into a laughing fit. 

“What dat mean?” Mel asked, tilting her head in confusion. 

“I found out yesterday that Chris and Tae are celibate.” 

“Wait, you’re back on speaking terms with Chris?” Ella chimed in, finally taking her eyes from her phone since we got here.

“What the fuck? When did this happen and why?” Lele snapped, demanding answers. I gave them the quick version of how we got back in good graces, but Lele still wasn’t buying it.

“Look bitch, I know ya got history with him and all, but don’t you wanna try something new? Someone that ain’t horning when you ain’-”

“Chill! We’re friends”

“Don’t listen to dem Robbie, and don’t explain yourself. You can’t help who you love. If you think he’s changed and ya’ll wanna try again, do it . Fuck everybody’s opinions” Ella condoned. 

“But watch it from dey” Nita yelled. “You just now gettin back to yourself, be careful. 

“Everything ‘bout that situation woke my ass up from lala land. Ya’ll don’t have to worry about me. I will never be that dumb or naïve again. ” I reassured them, and I meant it. Lele was still skeptical, and even though Mel kept quiet, I knew she was too. 

Still, I meant what I said. After all I’ve been through, I’ll always be on my toes and I refuse to tolerate any bullshit. My happiness is priority and any man that doesn’t agree and put forth the effort to prove it, isn’t worth my time.

As we sat in silence passing the blunt, my mind couldn’t help but wonder. I wondered if hanging out with Chris was a mistake. I knew where I wanted it to lead, but what if he were playing games with me once again. He agreed to be celibate for another woman, but couldn’t keep it in his pants for me. The thought of that made me jealous, but I can’t deny that I’m happy to see growth in him all at the same time.

“Don’t think about it too much” Mel uttered, pulling me out of my own mind. “Let it go. Don’t fight it, don’t stress. Whatever happens, happens.”

"I needed to hear that" I nodded in agreement, realizing she was right. 

"I got ya back" she stated, throwing her arm around my shoulders.It wasn’t long before Lele followed suit, then the other girls. Before I knew it, we were all huddled on the ground in laughter with sand in our hair and clothes. We were in our happy place.  

#robyn rihanna fenty #chris brown #ff #fanfic #fanfiction

[jingerly-kissing]

Alphabet Tag

I was tagged by the lovely @jingertonic like an eternity ago so here we go :3

a // age: 20, turning 21 in April

b // birthplace: Some small town in Germany that is only really known for the author who was born here (Hermann Hesse xD)

c // current time: 14:12

d // drink you had last: I just made myself some tea, it’s like some fruit tea blend?

e // easiest person to talk to: hmmm my younger sister probably cause she knows me really well? Also @kyungsalt cause she’s super chill

f // favourite songs: ugh, this is super hard. these days I’m listening to “Hero’s Soup” by Stray Kids and “Wires” by The Neighbourhood a lot. I also have a whole youtube playlist dedicated to song recommendations :D

g // grossest memory: okay, hold your horses because this is actually super gross. so like a couple of years ago my family moved. like my mother cared for this old dude’s house while he was in the hospital (we didn’t really know him but my mom was friends with his neighbours) and he didn’t make it. his children didn’t really want the house (cause it was old and kinda really run down, more on that later) so they sold it to us. and as I said, that house was... old. and hadn’t really been cleaned properly... for years. so yeah, the place was disgusting, we had to renovate it completely and I think I wasn’t even around to see the worst of it. because foolish as I was I decided to take care of the garden. it’s been years and we still haven’t managed to fully make that garden presentable but it was way worse.  so there was this little goldfish pond, right. and we didn’t want a goldfish pond. so we planned to drain it and fill it up with soil and maybe plant some flowers there. so there was still water in it. I assumed that the goldfish had died already. they did. but they were still in there. also, we didn’t really have anything to pump out the water or whatever so for a while I just scooped the water out with a small plastic bucket (actually got some on my hands which was already disgusting cause it was super dirty and filled with rotten leaves and all that). then I found the goldfish. they had indeed been dead for a while. at least they smelled like it. I don’t know if any of you have ever smelled a rotten goldfish, I pray you never have to because I almost threw up into that pond. the only thing that made me keep down my breakfast was the thought that it would only get more disgusting if I actually threw up into that water because I still had to scoop it out. I drained that fucking pond and I don’t ever want to see goldfish again.

h // horror yes or horror no: I’m a sucker for everything creepy. I especially love more atmospheric eery kinda horror movies or anything ps<chothriller style but I also don’t mind splatter^^

i // in love: yeh

j // jealous of people: sometimes I guess?

k // kids of your own someday: I like kids, I like hanging out with them and playing with them for a bit, but I wouldn’t want to have own kids. you see I can only tolerate them in small doses. like hanging out with a child for an hour or two every once in a while is fine. but having them around me constantly? fuck no.

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: I don’t really believe in love at first sight. infatuation maybe. or like crushing on someone on first sight. but love? nah. 

m // middle name: I don’t have a middle name... which I guess is kinda rare cause everyone else I know has one?

n // number of siblings: I have one younger sister :3

o // one wish: to be able to finish my bachelor’s degree smoothly and figure out what to do with my life after that 

p // person you last called: I skype called my sister a couple days ago to discuss and idea for a fanfic, does that count? like I usually don’t make phone calls a lot. oh, I called my tattoo artist last week to tell them I had a new phone number so they could reach me in case anything came up (got an appointment for an epiphany related tattoo in mid febuary^^)

q // question you’re always asked: uh, I don’t think there is like a specific question people ask me a lot

r // random fact about you: I really love piercings and tattoos and stuff like that. at the moment I have three tattoos (soon to be four^^), both of my earlobes are pierced (twice on both sides) and I have a helix (right) and I really want even more piercings, like I’ve been thinking about getting a septum, or maybe a medusa piercing? I also low key want a tongue piercing cause that's seksi but is it worth it tho? I guess atm I’m most likely to get more stuff on my ears (since they are so visible because I have short hair) like a tragus maybe? also I dye my hair like constantly and have some badass undercut or whatever so I guess I look kinda intimidating to some people??

s // song you last sang: wires by the neighbourhood because as I said I’m listening to that a lot atm

t // time you woke up: around 8 I guess but I didn’t really bother getting out of bed until around 10

u // underwear colour: black

v // vacation destination: oooh, there are a lot of places I want to see, but I guess my dream goal is to go to America and have some cheesy cliche roadtrip with my friends

w // worst habit: I constantly chew on my nails and the skin around so my fingers are always messed up

x // x-rays: oh damn, I’ve broken my arm like four times already and there were always several x-rays involved (and that’s not even all of it)

y // your favourite food: ugh, this is so hard. like... all food is great? I eat pretty much everything and I’m open to trying even “strange” or “exotic” dishes. but I guess some of my favourite foods are pizza, burgers (like the really good ones, not the kind that you get at mcdonalds or whatever, although that’s a bit of a guilty pleasure as well), hot pot, basically any form of potato (especially fried or baked), pasta (like especially anything with tomato sauce, bolognese is one of my go-to meals and I love arabiata) and I guess also ramen (everytime I visit my friend she takes me to the same ramen bar and I love it)

z // zodiac sign: Taurus I guess? like I think I’m kinda on the cusp of Aries and Taurus

tagging my usual suspects @applejoon @kyungsalt @krosthefaer @mayozika and @thewinterends (as usual, no obligation, let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in stuff)

#tagged #thank you for the tag <3 #about me #this took me forever

[spectralhearts-blog]

Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand, RACHEL WEISZ. No, that’s a mistake. It’s KIT SNICKET, they are a CANON CHARACTER and come from A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS. They are THIRTY-ONE and I’ve heard they are DISCERNING, as well BRASH. They happen to hold THEIR memories. Don’t believe me? See for yourself. 

welcome to new york! what is your character’s name?

kit katherine snicket ; firefighting volunteer, occasional fortune-teller and taxi driver. consumer of tea as bitter as wormwood. pretending to not have her true memories.

where / when have they been pulled from in their fandom?

the last thing kit can remember before she suddenly found herself waking in this new vexing and fallacious dwelling was medusoid mycelium crawling down her throat on an otherwise ideal island, fingers numb and falling limp as the baudelaires cradled newborn beatrice and promised that kit snicket’s daughter, though orphan she may be, would not grow up alone

— or, when i’m not just trying to stretch writin’ muscles that have gotten too used to academia, kit’s story has picked up rather unusually after her death in THE END (both episode and novel). she had died of a vile fungus, comma deadly, shortly after giving birth to her daughter whose custody she had entrusted to the baudelaire orphans. she remembers recently losing her brothers, one to death and another to his misery and exile, and her parents much less so. she remembers giving one of her last goodbyes to a wicked man whose one kind deed she can’t forgive the rest of his treachery for, but to whom she still owed a life and more. her last repayment could only be a short stanza from a long and complicated poem. she remembers her heart breaking twice, the first composed of so many crumbling increments of a once-noble organization and the second for a man first among brothers and second among an underground librarians (both literal and figurative). but most of all, she remembers beatrice baudelaire ii, the last in a long line of failings she needs to make up for.

do they have a job, and if so - what is it?

kit works at a kitschy alternative tea shop, where her position alternates depending on whether she keeps making the tea more bitter than the customer requests. on those days she gets shunted into the back, or into occasional tarot readings since the owners discovered she has some theatricality and training with it. it becomes difficult to not put on a vaguely european accent or remark upon the virtues of deciding one’s own fate whenever that’s requested, however.

what with the curse and all, how has your character’s life changed?

there were definitely some adjustments necessary - not only had kit just suddenly woken up from her definite reality of being dead (though she cannot honestly say this has been her first flirtation), but this new york was unlike one she had ever experienced. not only were technologies congruent and the entire city utterly devoid of code, but her reliable expectations of municipal aristocracies have been completely pulled out from under her. her initial attempts to contact those who might remain of her once-noble organization were quickly stoppered when she could not locate a reliable telegraph anywhere, and olive jars at local grocers lay infuriatingly unspecific.

so safe to say, kit quickly found herself a regular fish out of water, her only relevant skills those she had picked up from her own varied interests and inordinately ordinary assignments. the moment she realized something was amiss in the city, spontaneous appearances, fuzzed memories and personalities scattered in the people who passed through the tea shop, was the exact moment she felt warm comfort settling in her spine at the case of a spectacular scheme to be investigated.

kit spends most of her time at her work or freely wandering the streets of new york, occasionally under a cloak of night. in this city whose volunteer firefighters align most with the literal definition, she is trying to be the most noble member of a more distinguished volunteer fire department she can be, hitting the pavement and chatting with nearly all she comes across until she can uncover the mystery behind new york city.

is there any other information about your character that members might find helpful?

yea! so, first off before any deeper introduction to kit’s canon-wise character as it stands below — kit has maintained all her memories, and always has, but apart from the first few days in the city during which she had been running around chicken-without-a-head-style, she has adapted a disguise in which she pretends to be an ordinary kit snicket, just another new yorker. as a V.F.D. member, after all, she is equipped with the training necessary to slide into an alternate identity when a sussing out of friends and foes is needed. if she undoubtedly trusts someone, she will let them in — otherwise, she does her best to keep up her facade.

anyway! i’m going to be pulling from both book and tv canon for kit - } a noble member on the firefighting side of the schism in the V.F.D., or Volunteer Fire Department. kit is one of the snicket siblings, twin sister to jacques and one of the last surviving snickets along with her younger brother lemony. kit was shrewd and a very practical child, though as likely as either of her siblings to throw herself into trouble for a good cause. she attended Prufrock Prepatory School twice, once as a student and later as an English teacher, during which she required V.F.D. readings of all her students — a requirement that ended when the vice principal quickly fired her (continuing, however, for the two students she grabbed on the way out for their V.F.D. recruitment)

as a member of the V.F.D. herself, kit was engaged in multiple missions involving the dousing of fires both figurative and literal. she was once arrested trying to break into a museum in order to steal an artifact back to its rightful place, and once helped construct a submarine. she also masterfully constructed a chilled salad recipe that included mangoes and black beans among other items. most notable, however, was a certain mission that included poison darts, a sugar bowl, and the assassination of members of a family that might have been as noble as her now-splitting organization. whether or not kit feels any guilt for the death(s?) of olaf’s parent(s?)... well, she regrets any vile act, and this one’s particular role in the deepening schism, but this is another secret she’ll keep close to her heart.

kit didn’t have much time for relationships as she globe-trotted for the V.F.D., but at some point she did love a certain melodramatic count and shared with him an ill-kept secret of adoration for sad poetry. in the later years of the schism, her path fell in with the eldest denouement, and she and dewey began preparing for a life together.

kit loves secrets and secrecy ; it’s integral to V.F.D., and she is nothing if not a loyal Volunteer. she loves them to her own detriment - keeping them, seeking them, and squirreling them away. toward the end of the series’ events, she was starting to have to admit to herself the some of V.F.D.’s secrecy was the very thing poisoning it from the inside... but, old habits die hard, and in this city so far away from the V.F.D. it’s easy to slip back into her secret-hunting ways.

kit cares for children, but doesn’t particularly know how to interact with them. she thinks of them like miniature adults, rather than having considerations in mind for the trials of their own age group. being pregnant with beatrice was no wake-up-call, but it made her more aware of how ill-equipped she was going to be as a mother to an infant. with dewey at her side, that seemed easier -- but without him, and with medusoid mycelium crawling up her throat, she knew her baby would be better off with the baudelaires than she’d ever be with her. with a second chance at life, she does keep catching herself distraught without her daughter -- but has also decided it better not to look for her, when she believes her safe with the baudelaires.

ASOUE S3 SPOILERS; i loved almost all of the expansion netflix brought to the series, but definitely mourn some of the moral ambiguity kit lost in the transfer over. kit is caring and daring, but she is also incredibly stubborn to her own sense of being one of the smartest minds in the room and ruthless to the point of being willing to do anything to accomplish Greater Good (kudos to netflix tho for correctly pulling over that impulsive streak, nice 👌 👌 dragon-flying off a cliff while 8mos pregnant, definitely kit). i’m still not quite sure how much i want to incorporate netflix’s interpretation of the opera into kit ; she definitely had a much larger role in the death of olaf’s parents. anyway for now i’m probably going to loosely go with she being the admirer who slipped beatrice the poison dart, and may have been on-mission to distract olaf from the theft of the sugar bowl at the time, and eventually i’ll get around to expanding on that

#>> ꜰɪʟᴇ:// snicket‚ k. └ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜꜱᴀɴᴅ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ┐ #dear:intro #/ when that last question just becomes a wordvomit so i myself do not have an excuse for forgetting anything

[o-taryn-o]

Watching The Last Jedi Thoughts and Reactions

I’ve been obsessed with reading Reylo fan fiction since the opening night I saw TLJ. Ive seen this movie a lot but thought it would be fun to watch it again and react. I guess I had a lot to comment on Rose and Finn and also DJ. Enjoy~

Wow these opening credits are super vague…

I really love this opening scene it’s 100% my favorite Star Wars opening.

Carrie Fishers daughter is super cool. Hux looks v tired and/or on drugs.

Sansa’s insane aunt from Game of Thrones. Love BB-8, I ship Poe and Hux more then Hux and Kylo tho. “punch it!” I love that they have enough time to say cute one liners when piloting a ship. THIS SCENE IS EDITED SO FUCKING WELL THOOOO. Its literally FLAWLESSLY edited. 2nd “punch it!” When the bombers show up my heart starts beating faster, my favorite action sequence ever. Not even thinking about how theres no gravity in space. I love Paige so much! Have I ever seen a asian woman save the day in a movie ever? Why are her hands so beautiful? I LOVE THE COSTUMES OF THIS MOVIE. I wonder where Kylo is? Finn bb!! I wonder why he’s in a storage room? This movie is SO SEXUAL. Love me some beautiful island porn. LOVE that Luke throws the saber, love subverting expectations. “Master Skywalker?” is so cute I have such a crush on Rey. Wow the huts are so cute. Daisy is literally so beautiful, want to be and also kiss her.  Progs, so cute. Rey literally doesn’t waste anything love it she takes the books later also. “Where’s Han?” and then cuts to Kylo love it. The fuck is a “cur”? ADAM DRIVER fuck. This room is so red, its so pretty. This movie is visually STUNNING. Ben’s hair is fucking glorious, also look at those LIPS! I just want him to be with Rey and happy. Ben is fucking loosing his mind Ryan made him look so broken I love it. “Prepare my ship!” is so sexy. Rey’s accent is so perfect. Literally what Luke said he doesn’t want to do he does by the end of the movie. Love poncho Rey! This island is so fucking cool I need more high quality pictures going around. The green milk is so funny. I love that Rey looks away from the creature in embarrassment but then not Ben’s naked chest. I need to take so many screenshots of this movie, theres so many moments people forget! Rey in the tree, so beautiful, I can’t wait to find out id those books give us any information next film. I hope the next film starts with the vision Rey and Ben saw next film. I want to see Reys dreams. I miss Carrie. 

Poe is so annoying, Leia is so right. What a great line, “get your head out of your cockpit”. How does Finn know what the binary beacon is? THIS is when shit goes down. I really like that everything in this movie goes wrong. “Follow my lead” so sexy. Ben is literally crying feeling his mothers presence. And yet people thing this isn’t a redemption story. *shakes my head* Even The First Orders uniforms are so crispty its beautiful. I really like that Leia saved herself. Finn looks so good in that jacket I’m so excited for his blue pants look. Chewy and Porgs is all I ever needed. The lights in the cockpit of the falcon are really beautiful. The shots in this movie are GORGEOUS. I feel like R2 has a really dirty mouth. I can’t wait for Ben and Rey to escape with the falcon from somewhere and then takeout. IM SO READY.  Luke is kinda creepy? Never liked Luke, Leia should have been the protagonist of the original trilogy. HOLDO is a BABE! Love her look and tone and everything she saids is bomb. I love that she talks about everyone else in the galaxy and the importance of keeping everyone hopeful. Why is there so much sexual tension between Poe and EVERYONE? I do feel like Poe is bi tho. Holdo is RIGHT, Poe is annoying and a dick. Sorry I don’t make the rules. He’s hot but wrong. Finn and Rose are so GOOD, it makes me so happy this whole scene. I’m sorry bb Rose I wish I could give her a hug. “Doing talking…” haha I love Kelly so much. Rose is v smart and I love that she stuns him and then drags him. DRAG HIM GIRL. All the men in this movie are making mistakes and the women are being smart this is true to life. Rose and Finn are honestly so perfect together. Its so annoying that Finn and Poe keep interrupting Rose, also true to life.  Maz in the next movie is gonna be into Reylo. Also “union dispute?” what the hell is Maz talking about? How and why does Poe know Maz? I love sleepy Rey, Ben isn’t even mad when he sees her. He looks her up and down so many times throughout this movie. He’s so in love before she is, its cute. Reys outfit is perfection. What Rey said actually wasn’t completely wrong. “s tension, a balance” REYLO! I love that they go into what the force is in this movie. Porgs on the ship is so cute, so is Rey in rain. Ben with his questions, I like that Ben is actually listening to her to see how she feels about him. HE LOOKED AT HER LIPS! WET GLOVES. Finn is so distracted. Pretty cool looks in the casino, those glasses are sweet. Finn/John is so hot. Love watching Rey with her staff. I need one of those belts. An ICON. Could listen to Rey’s theme all day. I feel so bad for the locals, Reys a little bit of a dick. Right when she decides to follow Luke I need that gif! This conversation is great but all I can focus on is the fact that Luke saids “huberous” twice always makes me anxious. I love space operas. Men failing, *a theme*. “I need someone to show me my place in all this” its Ben baby! DJ is cool, why does nobody talk about him. He’s such a interesting character. BB-8 is a badass. Fathiers are so beautiful. It was unnessicary for them to crash through the window and run inside, this whole case is too long. I can’t believe that they have already filmed most of the next movie. I like that Leia and Luke are talking. Now Reys asking the questions, she’s trying to understand him, she wants to understand him. I haven’t noticed till now how inconsistent their voices are over the force. Sleeping baby Ben is my favorite, with his calligraphy set? Precious. Did he show her his past? Or does she just believe him? I want to see the other cut scenes from Reys storyline. Its really cool to see Rey mirroring herself. This is a really cool scene. I’m so happy Ben has long hair in Episode 9. Bens already crying just from her telling him about how lonely she is!! They are eye fucking rn, I know what that look is. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SEEING!!! Luke fucking ruins everything. Ben must be freaking out rn. Yeah get him Rey! I love this fight in the rain. Rey is right. The thing is like how do you know someones completely evil? Who makes that judgement call? This scene is cool, love the look of Yoda. Its a lot of pressure on Rey to continue the Jedi order if she’s the one who knows all the stuff in the books, Im glad she grabbed them. “The greatest teacher failure is”, “we are what they grow beyond” GREAT QUOTES. Rose is a badass. DJ is kinda right tho. “Let me learn you something big” so funny. No one can tell me Rey didn’t wash up and get pretty for meeting Ben. Ben made sure he was the first face she saw, he looks hot. Sweet hacking skills. The iron is really fun editing, they all look really good in the uniforms. The first shot of the elevator scene is so sexual, Ben holding her lightsaber in front of him with her hands in handcuffs. Oofff.  Ryan made this scene as sexy as he could. Its so intimate. They want each other so bad. Rey whispers and leans in. Ben is so soft. His trying to hard to focus on his goal of killing Snoke and saving Rey. Rose is so salty “of course you do”. I feel like everyone puts up with Poe because he’s hot,  because he’s a dick. Another failed plan. Yeah Leia get him! I love that she just shoots. Her daughter surrendering is really funny. Leia and Holdo are so cute I hope they made out one night really drunk when they were younger that was ,y first thought when they held hands. I absolutely love Holdo’s hair. Reys outfit in the throne room is so cool. She’s so strong, Ben is trying so hard to keep it together in the back. Theres no way Snoke bridged their minds. Ben got so scared when he said that. “No” she’s so strong. Ben looks so sad. Oscar Issacs ass is fine! John is really good in this scene and Rose’s scream is terrifying. Murder in Bens eyes. Its really scary that Snoke has so much control over Rey. Rey with Bens saber is all I ever needed. Bens gloved fingers are v sexy. Also THAT FLICK! When they look at each other they know, there in love. THIS FIGHT IS EVERYTHING! When DJ saids “maybe” I felt that. They are so powerful together. I love watching them fight together, can’t wait for the 9! Ben fighting off 3 guards is so hot. Rey dropping her saber and backhanding ir is really hot. Wow this moment is so intense its so quiet. Im so mad Ben didn’t stop the fleet though. The way he saids Rey, why are both of their voices so hot. I need Rey to tell him off in the next movie the way he’s telling off her parents. “Please” murders me. Rey is so smart, she knows he isn’t good yet. This is Rey’s moment of “I know what I have to do” Its crazy that Rose and Finn almost died by being beheaded! The silent part is so beautiful. Why was Phasma so far away? BB-8 in that thing is pretty weird though. Finn is so powerful. He’s super reckless in this film. Rose is so good I want to be her and slide hug her. “Rebel scum” is such a good line. Snokes lower body falling off the throne is super graphic. Ben is so mad Rey left. I can’t wait to see more of soft Ben, I don’t like him choking Hux even though its Hux. Rose and Finn are very lucky they made it below that door. I think everyone always thinks of Rose and Finn as cute and funny, but they are honestly serious and smart. So many people died in this movie. I don’t understand how they aren’t wearing goggles if its salt, they would be crying right now. This run takes a lot more time then it is distance wise. Its so pretty though, so I don’t care. Rey and Chewy saving the day is my favorite thing. “Wooh I like this!” so cute. I love watching Rey shoot. The crystal creatures are so pretty. Finn no! Yes Rose! “I saved you… dummy. Thats how were gonna win, not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” Rose is right everyone! Listen up! Why does Ben say “no prisoners”, maybe he is bad? I love Reylo I don’t understand I believe in Ben. Is he lying to himself? Could he actually kill his mother? Luke and Leia are so sweet. Also their conversation about Ben makes everything more confusing, so he’s not gone? Aw Luke kissing Leia’s forehead is really sweet. Lukes wink is funny. This music is so good. Finn taking care of Rose is my favorite thing. The editing is so beautiful. Rey in snow >>>> Also “Lifting rocks” how does she know thats what normal Jedi start training with? Ben is such a baby in this scene, he’s so upset. I love that Rey and Finn normalize intimate friendship. Ben is the truest definition of a ‘Dark Prince’ if Ive ever seen one. I’m really glad Luke died here, its time, the sunset it really nice. 

Bens eyes say it all here. Chewy and Leia so sweet. Reys smile is so AWW. Finn putting a blanket on Rose is the best. Rey knows she’s thinking about Ben. “We have everything we need” I bet Leia had a big part in 9 I’m so sad Carrie is gone :(

This last scene with the kids is really the perfect ending, HOPE.

#reylo #star wars tlj #netflix #love #finnrose

[mestos]

BnS act 9 was perhaps the worst thing ncsoft did to jyansei/cricket and OOF im still feeling it. as if cricket hasn’t cried enough in the whole story (when master hong dies, when hajoon dies, when they see master hong in a flashback, when the old pupils bid them farewell, when ayona dies) this was too much oh my god!!! this was sthe worst

spoiler ramble undercut

alright ill try talk abt the act in chronological order so starting off, 1) why chundoon’s voice so deep lmao. in kr it was such a soft boy’s voice then in NA its like hansen from fgo where they gave him a 40 year old chainsmoker’s voice SLKGJSDKGH 

the other thing i liked tho from the start is the whole premonition thing where it ends with cricket’s death

me, internally: why is it ALWAYS zaiwei

but anyway i loved how this led up to going into the backstreets of the hao bazaar and beating up some punks, leading up to this golden exchange with yunma fei. i laughed SO HARD

empress: you were illegally street fighting in hao bazaar? cricket: (sweats) .....sorry empress: that’s cool i did too at one point

YUNMA FEI IS HONESTLY SO COOL. best empress (sorry ms cyg) 

anyway the whole exchange with yunma fei was pretty nice, because she lets you read a letter. cricket’s hesitation was so cute! i can imagine them being rlly flustered, and yunma fei just shaking their head like “dude you saved the continent like twice? why wouldn’t you have authority” sgksjdgh

so the letter is basically dowager tayhu (her name was ak in kr? idk) passively aggressively asking for HM Hero to show up and yunma fei and cricket both almost agree to decline the invitation...till nuya shows up with news about ryu. then cricket does a complete 180 and is like “sorry. i have to go” which is kinda....omg....i get that u love your kids but its due to these impulsive decisions that lead to disaster!!! its why your efforts are erased in the end!! just decide to decline for once sweetie!!

even yunma fei tries her best to convince you, but you and her both know that there’s no stopping you once you made your mind to go somewhere. but yunma fei’s concern was nice enough, i love the friendship and bond you share with her-- she cares about you a lot, and so do you. other than the fact she is an empress, cricket is gentle with her too

anyway so you go to dasari palace, after a bit of a scuffle with an old captain who worked in the stratus empire, which led to a very pretty map as i posted briefly before. when u arrive at the banquet...everything is super suspicious lmao!! even from just stepping in you can feel that this was so set up to go against you. bns story rule of thumb: someone invites you to someplace, they’ll be after ur life. 

one thing tho is i love how cricket is so caring of their students,, when jinsoyun was feeling sick, they offered to be by her side the entire time and hold her hand..but of course, soyun can’t take the room and runs off. cricket chases after her but is stopped by the guards, and i find their frustration rlly cute sdjkgh

then you meet the dowager and ryu! ryu, no memories ryu. who wasn’t hanging with ken after all LMFAO anyway he asks to spar with you and cricket is forced to act like this is the first time theyve met and u can feel the pain in their responses

so sparring with ryu was easy enough. afterwards general hondu wrecks the party, then cricket decides to go rest. but of course, not before seeing their lovely darling daughter soyun! they decide to check up on them and their concern for their wellbeing was sweet (a lot more doting in kr but i digress lmao) 

afterwards, in typical blade and soul fashion, the minute u go into your resting room shit hits the fan and assassins, stratus soldiers, fiends all go after you and your pupils. after a frustrating (i’m a flame gunslinger! i don’t have any mobbing skills for crying outloud!) escort mission you meet choi jina, who i BARELY remembered but you meet her briefly at the start of act 2 and she helps you with the wraithbloom mess

she’s also pretty much jung hado genderbent but we won’t talk about that

with the help of choi jina cricket and fam go into a hidden chamber...a place they’ll be in for a while give or take LMAO. after some discussion, cricket decides “my amnesiac kid can’t be left in this shithole so i have to go back to him” (although in kr, cricket refuses but is eventually persuaded by bunyang) and choi jina and cricket go through....a fucking stealth mission, because after the murder of the minister (which was NOT cricket’s fault--they were just doing their job of eliminating demons) they become a wanted man! 

now, it wouldn’t be so bad if i had a functional laptop but i don’t so, that shit took me an entire hour and a half. i gave up at some point and just walked on the ground rather than roof to roof, because that is the WORST stealth mission in the entire game!! why!!! holy crap!!! i could rant over and over about the stealth mission but ill save that for twitter...

anyway after stealth mission, you knock out ryu, choi jina carries him, and back in the hidden chamber you go. ryu suddenly ~remembers~ all the fun times and tells you dowager tahyu’s planning a war! cricket, not finding it suspicious at all that ‘suddenly son remembers me? wow!’ is like ‘ok ok my boy, take me away, i gotta warn, yunma fei’ then they act like prisoner and shit and it was hilarious with lyn walking sprite cause you can’t walk in front of him HGJKG

ryu catches a spy - one of yunma fei’s - and after cricket writes their letter, they give it to senha and go. then there’s another escort mission! when you’re back with the fam, its a team effort to go to the great dragon pulse. and hell, i wouldve just made ryu do all the fighting cause my computer really hated that whole mission and i barely got through HA

anyway, shortly before the escort mission, bunyang and cricket have a small argument--bunyang is always so worried about their master, and cricket can’t do anything about it; it’s their job to do all these things, they can’t refuse because of the bigger picture. cricket promises to come back safely and they can be a family again, and in general the whole argument is really heartbreaking because HA. guess what happens after the escort mission

before i get to that, yunma fei actually arrives - alone, so no jung hado with her - shortly before shit hits the fan. she plops through the dragon pulse and it leads to some horrifying revelations. she said that cricket’s letter told her to come alone because they are sick and need help, and cricket says they never asked for that? and then its a mess because now yunma fei, talus empress, is alone and it’s all in the dowager’s plan. 

quickly running back to their students with the empress... but they were too late.

ryu betrayed them. and bunyang...

pays the price.

as if to make matters worse, cricket really was ill, they had been poisoned shortly before and 

collapses. 

they wake up in prison - goddamn! this is the third time i’ve woken up in jail! as if im not constantly falsely accused of crimes already! and witness an empress-to-empress showdown. yunma fei is really best empress. she sassed dowager tayhu hard LMAO

choi jina arrives and lets you and yunma fei out but cricket’s mind is in shambles because holy fuck!!!! my son just died!!! and unfortunately they cant find the time to mourn because 1) they’re in jail and they are breaking out like fugitives. the next segment is cricket and co. break outta jail to find the rest of their kids. 

when cricket does find them its so OUCH because their kids are obviously traumatized - especially bunah!!!!!!!! the flesh and blood sister of bunyang who just fucking DIED and really ... it was just too much,

yunma fei tries her best consoling you but obviously cricket can’t think properly. but they don’t have time to be crying, because there’s too much on the line, so they swallow their feelings and keep moving. 

i’ll continue on a second post...

#neesan texto #neesan shit art #neesans mindless text #bns #spoiler #bns spoilers #act 9 spoilers #OOF. #blade and mesos

[bts-reacts]

Info Game

Well it’s my turn here we go

Last

1. Drink - Arozina green tea with honey and ginseng this runs through my veins

2. Phone call - My boo 

3. Text message - Also my boo

4. Song you listened to - Well if you don’t count what I’m currently listening to, EOEO by UNIQ

5. Time you cried - This morning. I AM A VERY PASSIONATE SINGER AND I SAW A VIDEO WHERE THIS GIRL ON THE UNIT HIT A BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT HIGH NOTE. THEN THE GROUP DID AMAZING HARMONIES It was The Yellow group singing Jackpot. I got shook

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - when I was in 4th-8th grade and didn’t knw what dating was I went back and forth with the same guy every single damn year

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Every boy I hooked up with during my senior year I was discovering myself through a hoe phase

8. Been cheated on - my ex cheated on me for 6 months of our 1 year relationship. Then called me a crazy bitch for calling him out on it and telling the girl he had another gf. I am still blocked on all of his social media

9. Lost someone special - I was raised by a single mother until I was about 7 years old. My step dad was the first man I had in my life to be considered a father, and in 2012 he passed away in a motorcycle accident. He got hit headon by a semi truck while he was planning a ride for our church

10. Been depressed - I am the shining definition of depression

11. Gotten drunk and threw up - I don’t touch alcohol because the yeast smell is disgusting

Fave colors:

12. Pastels

13. Not pink I have red hair so I grew up dressed in pink because “it made my hair look nice”

14. Honestly it depends on the day. Some days I have a favorite color, other days I have a different one.

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - do my coworkers count? I mean I’m around them 40 hours a week. That’s more than my family

16. Fallen out of love - I’ve been with my bf for over a year so I’ve actually done the complete opposite

17. Laughed until you cried - Totes

18. Found out someone was talking about you - Honestly I don’t remember

19. Met someone who changed you - I had an old coworker who made me realize just how gross some guys can be. He got excited when my bf left for China and asked me everyday if he could be my “temporary bf”??????????????

20. Found out who your friends are - Well I’ve only ever had two true friends so I guess I found out who my friends are years ago

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - My grandma and my boo?

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Honestly a lot of them knew me through school, but I didn’t actually know them personally. I’ve gone through and deleted people eveyr now and again because I don’t know them and I don’t want them clogging up my feed

23. Do you have any pets - I HAVE SO MANY. Three cats: two grumpy old men and one excited young kitty. AND 3 BEAUTIFUL PUPPIES WHO ALL THREE COME RUNNING WHEN YOU SHOUT FOR THE BABIES TO COME HERE

24. Do you want to change your name - I used to. No one spells it right, or says it right the first time. When the teacher would do roll call on the first day of school I would know they were talking about me when they paused and stared at the list. It’s spelled Shaina. I’ve had Shayna, Shania, Shanna, and one girl at a starbucks spelled it Shanea. I guess it just makes me unique so I’ll stick with it.

25. What did you do for your last birthday - My bf and I took a small vacation up to Chicago and visited museums, aquariums, AND ATE HOTDOGS AND DEEP DISH PIZZA

26. What time did you wake up today - 12:30ish

27. What were you doing @ midnight last night - playing Detroit because Connor is a gorgeous puppy who needs protection

28. What is something you can’t wait for - I can’t wait to move out of my mom’s house in a month or so

30. What are you listening to right now - Generally, I’m addicted to (G)IDLE’s new comback. Literally and currently, my spotify is playing Cypher Pt 4

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - Honestly I have a terrible memory so I don’t know

32. Something that gets on my nerves - Everything. But really, people who act like they’re better than you just beause they have more experience in something or have been somewhere for a long time. I have a coworker who thinks he��s right about everything because “He’s been working there a long time”

33. Most visited website - Gmail and CreditKarma. School just started so I’m obssesive over my email and I’ve always been obssesive over my credit score

34. Hair color - Dark red. Not most ginger’s red. As I’ve gotten older, it’s darkened towards a brownish red

35. Hair long or short - very long. It’s halfway down my back when I put it in a high ponytail and need at least 2 holders to keep it up in a bun

36. Do you have a crush on someone - nope

37. What do you like about yourself - I love my hair and my brain. My hair and eye color is a unique combination (brown eyes w/ red hair). I’ve always been extremely creative since I was little and that’s such a big part of who I am

38. Want any piercings - Ever since I was emo, I’ve wanted my lip pierced

39. Blood type - I have no clue

40. Nicknames - Depends on who you ask. My grandpa calls me little red, my friend calls me Shay, an old friend from high school caled me Shane Dog

41. Relationship status - Surprisingly taken

42. Zodiac - Pisces

43. Pronounce - She/her

44. Fave TV shows - Anything I watch is a fave tv show

45. Tattoos -None but I desperately want some

46. Right or left handed - Right. But when I was younger my cat bit my right hand so I couldn’t move it. So I can eat comfortably with any hand, but I only write with my right hand

47. Ever had surgery - Nope

48. piercings - The traditional one piercing in both ears

49. Sports - Dancing and I still love softball even though I stopped playing in th grade

50. Vacations - I high key want to visit Madrid and Mexico City. 

51. Trainers - ???

More general

52. Eating - Last thing I ate was the best ramen ever for dinner

53. Drinking - Lipton green tea I love green tea

54. I’m about to watch - Well I’m currently in the middle of Bromance and Strong Girl Bong Soon

55. Waiting - to go to bed

56. Want - to transfer to my dream college that on the other side of the country...

57. Get married - I feel too young to be married atm. Plus my bf and I have only been together for a year. But if I do my uncle can legally marry me so that’s sweet

58. Career - Currently working as a cook at Applebee’s. But my dream career is to be a business owner of my own bakery. or a singer, I want to sing so badly but that’s unrealistic :/

59. Hugs or kisses - Hugs all day

60. Lips or eyes - I am just mesmorized by single lid eyes idk why

61. Shorter or taller - a bit taller. like a few inches

62. Older or younger - Older

63. Nice stomach or stomach - I’ve had both and I didn’t love myself either way. I’m more worried about feeling comfortable in my body so I don’t care about which one I guess?

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship. Hookups will still text you every month asking if you’re single yet so you can hook up again. They’re too stressful tbh

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - Little of both

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - Unfortunately yes

67. Drank hard liquor - I’ve had sips of my mother’s wine that is it

68. Lost glasses - I’VE LOST LIKE 3 PAIRS OF GLASSES SOMEHOW???

69. Turned someone down - Yes

70. Sex on first date - Another unfornately yes

71. Broken someone’s heart - Not that I know of

72. Had your heart broken - The first boy I loved broke my heart when I was 15

73. Been arrested - I cry when I get pulled over for not wearing a steatbelt. I’ve never been arrested

74. Cried when someone died - my step dad dying came as a shock. I did the whole stare into space, sit down and continue staring, then sob. It was like a tv show

75. Fallen for a friend -  nah

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - Kinda

77. Miracles - Hell ye

78. Love at first sight - I used to, but then I learned that that is not love.

79. Santa Claus - I did until I was almost in high school

80. Kiss on first date - My first date iwht my bf, he hugged me goodbye and gave me a little kiss on the should r that was really cute. So if it’s those kinds of kisses yes

81. Angels - Totes

Other

82. Best friend’s name - Katlyn and Alex 

83. Eye color - Dark DARK brown

84. Fave movie - The Harry Potter series. ALl day every day

85. Favorite actor - I really like Benedict Cumberbatch for some reason?

Wow that took me forever. There’s more about me tho!!! I better go to bed because it’s almost 1 and I have a class tomorrow at 9 kill me

~Admin Red

#admin red #pray for me #i can't drink caffiene because it gives me panic attacks so tomorrow is gonna be fun #large amounts of caffiene anyway #gonna be walking into class trying to stay awake by drinking a nice iced tea #then I have to stay there for 3 hours #and stay at the school even longer because i need to do stuff for my online classes

[thatfoxnamedfinley]

I’ve just seen Avengers: Infinity War for the third time. Let’s talk about it.

There are SPOILERS AF under the cut as well as rabid fangirl thoughts. STEER CLEAR OK if that’s not your shit. Thank you.

- IT OPENED WITH A BANG. The Russo Bros obv did not give ONE (1) fuck about the emotions of anybody cause it starts off intense as SHIT. Showing us the stakes of the movie and the power of it’s villain by having Thanos not only destroy Asgard, but also incapacitate The Hulk and then kill ( is he really tho ?) Loki. 

- Speaking of Asgard, I was VERY impressed with Thor’s arc this movie. He was great. His emotions as he was talking to Rocket, he was laughing and smiling while he was trying not to cry and when he listed off how many people in his life that have died, I got emotional. That shit really got me.

- GAMORA. OMG. Her storyline. She shines so much. Her and Drax. He got so many funny lines in, he had me CACKLING at WHY IS GAMORA and I CAN TAKE IT and BUT MY MOVEMENT IS SO SLOW. When both he and Gamora ended up perishing (Gamora’s death hit me harder the second time I watched it, and it hit me HARD the first time), I almost cried.

- ‘WAKANDA FOREVER!!!!!” - T’Challa before running into battle. Chills.

-That was one of the greatest cinematic experiences I’ve had. I was so on the edge of my seat with how much was going on at all times. I was overwhelmed, really.

-MANTIS IS POWERFUL Af?!?!?!?! YAL SHE WAS HOLDING BACK THANOS FOR A LONG ASS TIME!! SHE RENDERED HIM INCAPACITATED. DAMN GIRL WERK THAT SHIT

-I’m glad Nebula was back. I really LOVED her growth in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

- Scarlet Witch and Vision. WHAT DEVELOPMENT MY WORD. They were PRECIOUS. So REAL that when it came time for what Scarlet Witch had to do, I saw the pain in her eyes. As Vision was whispering “It’s alright,” to her and she destroyed him FUCK but then Thanos really fucked it up didn’t he, I FORGOT he had the Time Stone for a second

-ALL. THE. BATTLES. So chaotic but just so WELL DONE and I could see everything that ws going on. Like SHIT MARVEL YAL REALLY JUST WENT FOR IT DIDNT YOU

-Tony. Stark. TONY STARK. That’s my BOI right there. Everything about him this movie was just so FUCKING good. I LOVE him. Not everyone does, but after this movie, he won over so many people who try to hate him for no reason (I have hours of ammunition to #ProtectTonyStark). The Russo Bros really allowed a lot of Tony Stark’s character to shine without losing his sass. He was ALLOWED to tell Squidward to go home but also tell Doctor Strange that he didn’t know what to do because Thanos has been in his head for 6 years. He was ALLOWED to show how powerful he was when he made Thanos bleed but also allowed that moment of grief when he was clutching the hand covered in Peter Parker’s dust crumbled body. 

- STRANGE’S CLOAK SLAPPING TONY’S ASS, IM /DEAD

- Was NOT expecting them to kill as many as they did. I really wasn’t. The ending was so traumatizing.

-Doctor Strange has such cool ass powers. His illusions were so trippy to look at. 

- I LOVED THE DEVELOPMENT OF TONY AND STRANGE’S DYNAMIC. IT WAS HONESTLY AWESOME. From ‘douchebag’ to ‘Tony’, their evolution together was nice. Their personalities boucing off each other was great.

-Speaking of Doctor Strange, we all understand why he gave up the Time Stone to Thanos right? He said he saw 14,000,605 alternate paths to Thanos, and in only ONE of those do they win. He told Tony before they landed on Titan that he would NOT save Tony OR Peter if it came to the safety of the Stone. But he GAVE UP THE STONE. To spare Tony’s life. Saying “Tony, it was the only way.” Tony is needed in the destruction of Thanos. In the scenario that they do win, Tony Stark is neccessary. And thank goodness too, because I REALLY THOUGHT Tony was gunna die.

-

((apparent triggering confession next, move on to the next point if you dont like the first sentence))

-

- I left shipping Thanos and Tony. I know. I KNOW. I KNOW, OKAY?!?!? I didn’t want to. I didn’t even ship them the first time I saw the movie. Probably cause I was so freaked out with what was happening. This is perhaps the one ship I’ve shipped that I don’t want to ship. Maybe because he knew who Tony Stark was. Told him he was smart, that he was “cursed with knowledge.” Then he told Tony he respected him. Then he pet Tony’s head (honestly that made me ??????????????? inside and probably what sparked this shit tbh). AND. I was LOOKING for it on the third watch because I THOUGHT I saw it the second time; as Thanos was talking to Tony, Thanos shed a tear. Out of his left eye, after he told STark he respected him with his hand on Tony’s head. HAlf of humanity will still be alive, he said. Watching Tony and he shed a tear. I SWEAR TO YOU do look for it next time if you think you’ll go watch it again. I was like WTFFF IS THAT????????? Idk idk yal I’m so confused, and I’m TELLING YOU that I’ve never felt so bad about shipping before because IDK WHY I SHIP THEM. As I left the second tiem watching it, my brain was writing an alternate scene to that scene. IDK IDK IDK idk idk idk idk idk idk

- 

- I still ship Tony with Steve. I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO MEET AGAIN. It’s inevitable, right? I know they havent spoken in 2 years, but this will force them to meet. And they fell out hard from Civil War. What will be their first words to each other? Who will speak first. Will Tony make a joke, look around and pretend he still doesn’t feel hurt? Will they hug? Will they still clash? I don’t feel like Cap is the guy that holds a grudge like that, if anything he will react based on how Tony acts. Will he ask forgiveness? Does he even need to? Did they miss each other? AFter all, Cap entered the fold when he was contacted after Tony went missing, saying “You just lost EArth’s best defender.” PHEW fam PHEW

- As Tony Stark has always been and will always be my favorite Avenger, I felt such pride on the third watch to confirm that the largest reaction out of each audience was when Thanos stabbed Tony. Loud, palpable gasping. One low conjoined sound of “OOOOooooohhh!!” echoing in the theater. Twice someone screamed. The attachment we feel to them all is immense, right? We’ve all been together with Tony Stark the longest, and that impact was so satisfying to feel on a grand scale like that for me. Whether you love Tony Stark or not, EVERYONE felt that fear of him dying in that moment. Hell, so many people were dead by that point that it WASNT IMPOSSIBLE. I cried the first time. I had to furiously wipe tears so I could keep watching the screen; I didn’t want to miss anything. I needed to see Tony’s end if that’s what happened; I owe him that. In case it’s unclear, Tony Stark is my favorite fictional character of any medium.

-omg when Gamora said, “you promised” before Quill went to shoot her, I was SHOOK fam omfg. And also when Gamora went to commit suicide before Thanos could throw her into the canyon....I REALLY felt Gamora’s story this movie. I know I said it earlier but it was GREAT.

- *mocking tone* “I am Groooooot.” everyone: WOAH THAT ATTITUDE (LOL I DIED)

-I was PISSED at Quill for fucking up the plan. THEY ALMOST GOT THE GAUNTLET OFF THEY WERE SO CLOSE and he messed it up....I get why tho and by the end I couldnt even fauult him for it, but in the moment I was PIISSSSSSSSSSED.

-The ending was.............honestly satisfying. It ended cliffhanger-y but not an IMMEDIATE, OMFG WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN cliffhanger.

Whata good movie omfg. I still don’t know where it ranks for me, Top 5 for SURE. Seeing is this many times, the story holds up, the humor holds up, the character work holds up, the pacing is seemless. It was SO GREAT. It was darker too, and I loved that.

What are yal’s thoughts?

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