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#this year its sad gay Catholics
spicybylerpolls · 27 days
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It is genuinely ASTONISHING to see how many people are against your blog because they believe “it’s bad/weird to fantasize” or they say stuff like, “analyzing is fine. fantasizing is evil.” Actually fantasization is a divine gift, a spiritual experience, one of the best things we can do as humans. And most clearly Bylers agree!
They spend all day fantasizing about Mike and Will holding hands, going on dates, kissing, even ‘making out sloppily’ but the second we on the spicy side say that we want Byler to fuck, people start freaking out. How dare you fantasize?
Stick to analysis, freak.
Can someone please tell me why sex is such a big weird scandalous taboo? Have we gone back in time? Is this an evangelical youth group? Is this Catholic school? Are we Mormons? To fight back, some say, “Oh I’m not fantasizing, I’m just exploring the character dynamics” as if fantasizing will implicate them as some kind of dirty rotten sinner, as if this is some kind of gotcha that will expose fandom nonces.
But I don’t get it. I’m doing both, unapologetically! I’m exploring Byler’s dynamics, just like we do with ever other HC and canon analysis point, AND I’m fantasizing about them fucking like rabbits until the end of time, just like we fantasize about how the Byler kiss will go or how Mike will finally admit his sexuality.
Last time I checked, sex is part of sexuality, it’s literally in the name, and it’s a Divine Gift. Mike and Will are not disembodied beings who only want to hold hands and look at flowers all day. They are gay teenage boys who are sexually ravenous for each other. It’s clear this era of Puriteens didn’t devour Reddie or Stenborough smut under the covers while giggling and kicking their feet. And none of them would have SURVIVED the Harry Potter fandom.
The other side of this are the adult fancops who are siding with the puriteens and constantly trying to cancel Bylers for thinking unholy thoughts. You can only think analytical thoughts while wearing suits and taking cold showers. Meanwhile 65% of the fandom is openly attracted to Finn, and I’m supposed to be gaslit into thinking this doesn’t translate into their experience actually watching the show? I’m supposed to believe they watched him drool over Will’s ass and then said, “No, he didn’t do that”?
“But why aren’t you fantasizing about adult ships like J0pper or JAncy or or or-”
Because I don’t care about them? No offense. I’ve never read J0pper or JAncy fanfic in my life. And this isn’t J0pper Tumblr? It’s Byler Tumblr. I’m a Byler and naturally I want to see my favorite characters rail each other romantically? And it’s very, dare I say, unnatural and unrealistic when you read fanfics and Mike and Will kiss each other and don’t so much as get a boner. One boner?
I’m so tired. It’s utter gobbledegook.
Especially giving the context of what Stranger Things and Byler represents, it’s so obvious that sexual exploration is the natural evolution for these characters in their arcs in Season 5. Self-actualization and an embrace of the queer experience in all its sensuality and beauty.
The shame WILL be on the other side.
yeah, all great points! I think people get overprotective and hyper-vigilant, and they want to make sure they're taking a strong stand against their nebulous, exaggerated, hypothetical image of the shadowy "30-year old creep" getting off to Byler smut in a dark room.
but you're right that all Bylers "fantasize" about many things, even those most vocal in the analyze-only movement. technically all of Byler is "fantasizing," since they aren't together yet and they are fictional. we're all just envisioning scenarios and situations!
for some reason tho, people are chill with people daydreaming about every romantic scenario imaginable and chill with people conjuring up sad, tragic, angsty situations involving Vecna and bullying and pain. but sex? no. sex is shocking, alarming, and frightening.
also, this is definition of fantasize:
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there's nothing inherently creepy about that definition. It's neutral.
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butchviking · 3 months
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I miss the Hal who didn't care about celebrities and thought it was weird to care about that lame shit, now you're judging Frank Iero's outfit on the Internet. Not to mention the sexuality speculation - on the public Internet. All the while he's a straight but you as a lesbian were just saying how you're uncomfortable when your girlfriends talk about men they're attracted to. Sooooo.... they're opinions bother you and you can't have a conversation about that but public speculation about a straight man's fake homosexuality is OK because he can perform gay on stage... you can't have a conversation any friends should be able to have,, but you're wondering if those jumpscare ugly moids had sex or not... Got it. One rule for thee but not for me I guess... lame Hal
oh nooooo some anonymous weirdo on the internet misses the version of me they made up in their head 🥺🥺 as though i was not a fandom blogger for years before i ever heard of radblr as though i have not always been obsessed with some celebrity or other as though i have not been frerard speculating since i was 10. u dont know me. grow up.
u also obviously terribly misunderstood something about that little rant of mine the other day bc i was in fact not so much complaining that women in my life talk about men theyre attracted to. i was complaining that i as a lesbian feel left out and wish i could be part of those conversations and i still struggle with accepting that i never can be and it makes me sad <3 and i talked about how that very much relates to my interest in whoever my current Celebrity Guys are because i struggle to have conversations about them even with many other fans because they simply experience things that i cannot and it makes me feel terribly like im missing out on something and like im missing out on bonding moments w other female fans bc they say things and all i can do is wrinkle up my nose and be like 'um well thats nice'.
also yeah frank & gerard are both probably straight and almost definitely never fucked but their stage gay shit was an anti-homophobia stand and did in fact have a very significant impact on me as a child. its important to me. sorry if thats lame to you but yeah it shaped me as a person to see two guys kissing on stage and getting booed and bottled for it it shaped me as a person to experience the reaction i got in catholic school reading the download 2007 review with the frerard kiss image it shaped me as a person to see them get called fags again and again and to take this stand anyway again and again. im very very serious about this i genuinely do not take their stage gay antics lightly and i am forever and ever grateful. it meant a lot. gay people in my kerrang magazine..
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rayshippouuchiha · 2 years
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Ray I need some advice please, I'm peruvian and my little cousin called me crying last night, he has been getting bullied at school for years but today after school they beat him up.
He expected his parents to be worried because its the first time they hurt him physically and do something to help, but instead congratulated him for getting on a fight and acting manly.
There is not a manly bone in this kid's body, he really tries his best to perform the catholic machismo that is expected of him but it doesn't work.
He came out to me as gay last Christmas (probably because I'm the openly bisexual older cousin living in Lima) and that makes me even more worried for him.
I asked my mom to talk to his parents but she told me not to get into other's peoples business and his homophobic parents hate me. I can't just get on a bus and kidnap a child.
I have asked everyone I know for advice and no-one knows what to do. Do you have any ideas?
Oh yeah this is a sad spot to be in.
If you can't get any of the other adults in your family to approach his parents and talking to them yourself about the bullying isn't an option then double down on communicating with your little cousin.
Make sure that he knows he has a safe space with you, that you're there for him, and that you understand.
Him not feeling alone is so so important right now.
Also maybe see if there's something that can be done with the school itself. Like if it's an option for him to speak to a teacher or administrator for help, etc etc.
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codewrit · 6 months
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[paul  mescal  —  twenty-eight  —  he/him]    Introducing    RÓNÁN  BRENNAN  .  Word  on  the  street  is  they  are  a    BARISTA/HACKER  ,  having  been  around  for    TEN  YEARS  .  Despite  an  otherwise  clear  record,  sometimes  they  are  known  to  engage  with    THE  BROTHERHOOD’s    affairs.  Though  they  are    GUARDED    and    SENSITIVE  ,  they  can  also  be    OUTGOING    and    WELL-INTENTIONED  .  In  the  chaos  of  New  York  City,  they’re  sure  to  fit  right  in.  
tw: brief attempted drowning mention, intense parents, implied homophobia.
BASIC  INFORMATION
FULL  NAME:  rónán  brennan. MEANING:   name:  little  seal. surname:  meaning  "descendant  of  braonán".  the  gaelic  personal  name  braonán  is  derived  from  the  irish  braon,  meaning  "sorrow". MONIKERS  /  NICKNAMES:  ro GENDER  &  PRONOUNS:  cis  man,  he/him. DATE  OF  BIRTH  &  AGE:  march  eighth,  twenty-eight. ZODIAC  SIGN:  pisces. ORIENTATION:  gay. MARITAL  STATUS:  single,  unmarried. OCCUPATION:  barista/cafe  employee,  hacker  affiliated  with  the  brotherhood.
BACKGROUND
PLACE  OF  BIRTH:  dublin  ireland. RESIDENCES:  one  (1)  small  apartment  atop  a  laundromat  in  east  harlem.   RELIGIOUS  VIEWS:  semi-lapsed  catholic. LANGUAGES  SPOKEN:  english,  gaelic.  
FAMILY:  
eithne  brennan,  née  murphy:  mother,  former  teacher  who  retired  semi-happily  to  become  a  stay  at  home  mother.  devout  catholic.  
peter  brennan:  father,  irish-american  dual  citizen  who  moved  to  his  childhood  home  after  his  parents  died.  
APPEARANCE
FACECLAIM:  paul  mescal. HAIR  COLOUR:  soft  brown. EYE  COLOUR:  blue. HEIGHT:  1.8m,  five  foot  ten. DISTINGUISHING  FEATURES:  has  a  small  scar  on  his  cheek  from  clipping  his  head  on  the  side  of  a  table  as  a  kid.
BIOGRAPHY
his  first  memory  is  of  running  water—his  mother’s  pretty,  sad  features  above  the  surface  and  his  father’s  hands  pulling  him  up  from  the  bathtub.  later,  when  he  is  older,  when  he  can  understand,  he  is  told  that  after  his  younger  brother  was  born  his  ma  went  through  a  period  of  postpartum  psychosis,  and  that’s  why  she  had  to  live  apart  from  them  for  a  little.  he  was  told  to  never  say  anything  of  the  memory  of  her  palm  pressing  his  forehead  down,  of  her  tears  or  her  fear.    when  she  comes  home  she  is  more  devout  than  every,  surpasses  even  his  father  in  her  intensity.  they  walk  the  dublin  streets  in  their  sunday  best  for  every  single  evening  mass.  he  knows  the  good  book  front  to  back  by  the  time  he  can  speak,  feels  it  imprinted  into  his  eyelids  whenever  he  closes  his  eyes.   his  childhood  is  restrictive,  suffocating,  only  escapable  in  the  tiny,  ancient  computer  that  sat  in  the  sitting  room  for  schoolwork  only.  he  learns  every  inch  of  the  machine  and  its  programming,  finds  the  challenge  to  teach  himself  more  rewarding  than  being  told,  finds  his  failures—being  allowed  to  fail,  without  scorn—glorious.  he  withstands  the  rough  hidings  he  gets  for  sneaking  up  after  curfew  and  silently  meddling  on  the  internet. his  childhood  is  ending,  and  rónán  yearns  to  escape  from  it,  takes  the  first  chance  he  can  to  run,  and  run  far.  he  works  four  jobs  at  first—construction,  bartending,  waitering,  barista.  at  night  he  works  through  his  comsci  degree.  he  runs  himself  ragged,  drops  out,  studies  alone.   working  for  the  brotherhood,  or  alongside  the  brotherhood,  was  fully  unintentional.  his  behaviour  online  slipped  further  and  further  into  the  blackhat  side  of  affairs  as  his  money  ran  thin,  and  his  talent  was  sufficient  enough  that  he  began  to  pick  up  small  assignments  for  them.  he  writes  them  code,  slips  in  and  out  deleting  information,  making  people  go  dark,  at  least  digitally.   he  actually.  really  enjoys  it?  when  he  moved  he  had  a  strong  moral  code,  or  thought  he  did  at  least,  but  slowly  grew  to  realise  that  the  law  doesn't  give  a  shit  about  upholding  good  and  bad,  it's  all  grey.  squeamish  around  the  bloodier  aspects  of  being  associated  with  organized  crime,  keeps  the  information  that  he's  enabling  the  death  of  other  people  locked  away  in  his  brain  so  the  guilt  doesn't  eat  him  alive. draws  pictures  on  peoples  cups  at  his  day  job,  is  a  chronic  cctv  watcher,  particularly  for  the  laundromat  he  lives  above.  he  just  watches  people  go  in  and  out  all  the  time  like  a  screensaver,  and  it’s  comforting  to  him  that  lives  are  just  happening  all  the  time.  he’s  a  people  watcher,  including  webcams.  sorry  to  everyone.
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papirouge · 10 months
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What’s are your views on “purity culture” among christians
I think it varies between denominations but the idea is still around mainly fundamentalists. It’s definitely important to teach women how important it is to be picky, believe in hypergamy, and ignore probably the 90% of scrotes that aren’t good people but I never really believed in flat out refusing to teach sex ed, what stds and stis are, what Plan B is, and how birth control and condoms work. Which seems like a lot of these more fundamentalists tend to do.
I had this friend who is divorced now. She grew up in that type of environment where they were very strict about her purity but ignored the boys virginity completely. Like she had two brothers who were total opposites. 1 was basically community dick and caught a disease and her parents didn’t care 💀 the other was an incel who was very anti social. And her parents were upset that they couldn’t marry him off because not even the desperate fundie girls wanted his violent outbursts. He’s still single too and approaching 40
She was married young to her ex and had no idea how sex even worked. She was only told to avoid it and it just scared her. So when she got married, she told me how her parents and church counselor were upset that she didnt turn into someone who liked sex immediately. Even kissing was new to her and she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t like it at all/avoided sleeping in the same as her husband and was told by them to suck it up when she expressed she had pain. When she got older she left that church and her husband but was ex communicated by her family for it.
Does that type of stuff happen in France?
Purity isn't much of a thing anywhere else in the world because as I said, most of USAmerican evangelicalism staples are rooted in culture not in Christianism. I've always found fascinating how France & its very liberal "sex culture" was compared to the US (age of consent is 15 years old, birth control & abortion is free, condoms are handed over in highschool, etc.) yet managed to have proportionally lower abortion rate than God fearing United States of America lol
Fundies family don't exist anywhere else in the world beside the USA anon so nope, we don't have this kind of messy affairs here. Catholicism is in a limbo here in France and real Catholic families are very rare. And even when they do, they don't hold such a spiritual grip on their members to guilt trip them into marrying someone. The only stories of people being excommunicated are bishops coming out as gay or being caught dating/having sex with women lol
The story of your divorced friend is very representative of the double standards of women virginity vs male virginity. Although it's quite normal to particularly warn off women about the consequences of sex because, unlike men, they are the ones who'll carry the baby so they have much more responsibility to deal with (as unfair it may sound). But it doesn't mean men virginity is any less relevant.
Many of women will never want a community d*ck, that's why her busted brother is still single at 40 (which is weird bc red pillers always said men got more value as they got older 🤔).
Fornicators are literally filled with demons and should be avoided at all costs.
And yet, I'm sure he's not shamed like his sister was to marry a man she was even attracted to... Her story is so sad.. but she's better off outside of this cult though. She's lucky she if she didn't have any child with him...
I think kids shouldn't be taught sex ed before middle school. I did in elementary school and it lowkey fucked me up. Even when I was 12-13 years old I had a male friend of my age who told me how many times a week he masturbated and it triggered me so bad lmao
Tbh there should be something progressive, like first learning about sexual organs, periods, how babies are made (12~13 years old), than at 15 about birth control(?) IDK the idea of teaching kids sex at school is weird to me but I think I would be even more traumatized if my mom taught me any of this because we NEVER talk about things like that lmaoo I guess it's important to build a trust relationship with your kid from start so that it's not awkward when you actually do? IDK I lowkey hate the sex talk and wish sex wasn't such a big deal in society so I'm probably not the best person to inquire about that lmaooo
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licncourt · 2 years
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Why did Lestat decide to stay with a closeted, homophobic, and frankly unproductive Louis while being an 'out & proud' bisexual guy? Atleast, Nicki embraced it all 'with pride' if only to spite God (the courage counts). He was ambitious and create 'goodness' out of it. He would also have an impressive academic background which is more than 'reading pretentious books'. How did all of these translate into Louis as 'the chosen one'?
Alright, so this ask has been in my inbox a little while mainly because some of the implications really bother me, as well as other assumptions seeming to directly contradict canon. I have no idea if this ask is in good faith or not, but I'm going to go through it and break down what my issue is.
First of all, I'm going to start by saying that I would not consider Nicki or Lestat to be "out". Lestat never seems to struggle with any shame over his orientation, but he is very much closeted. He and Nicki never give any indication of being public about the nature of their relationship, and why would they? France was less severe in its legal treatment of sodomy than most other places, but the social penalties would've been extremely severe. Being confident in your sexuality =/= out.
As for Nicki, I would disagree that "the courage counts" when what he's essentially doing to fully embracing his internalized homophobia to the most extreme extent. What he's doing is self harm of a spiritual type. Hurting himself and Lestat with his acknowledgment of his orientation is very sad and unfortunate more than it is courageous. It's also rather hurtful to suggest that someone is objectively better than another if they use their pain to make art ("goodness"). No one is obligated to make their suffering something for consumption.
Regarding the fact that Louis is/was closeted and dealing with internalized homophobia...I really dislike the implications here. Louis was obviously extremely ashamed of his orientation and had no desire to share it publicly. And why on Earth would he feel any other way?
He grew up in the 18th century in a Catholic area where he would have been at best shunned from his community and family and at worst killed if he was outed. A gay person who doesn't feel safe or ready to come out is just as deserving of love as someone who is. It's not a moral failing or a strike against them as a person. Besides, even if Louis felt exactly the same as Lestat, there's no way they would've been out advertising it any more than Lestat and Nicki because of sheer logistics.
As far as being "unproductive", I mean, yeah. But Lestat was certainly not a productive member of society either. By definition, vampires are leeches. And Louis and Lestat are wealthy landlords who literally feed on humans. They spent seventy years doing absolutely nothing of value. If Louis is unproductive, Lestat is equally so, if not more because at least Louis ran the household and business.
Finally, the academic background is a strange thing to bring up. There's no indication that this is something that matters to Lestat in a partner. He himself is uneducated in the formal sense and it doesn't ever appear to be something that attracts him to Louis or Nicki. And if we ARE comparing (which there's no reason to do, Nicki and Louis are both very intelligent), I disagree with your assessment. Nicki was from a rural family and attended a few months of schooling at the Sorbonne for law. Impressive, but he was ultimately a drop out who never wanted to be there in the first place.
Louis is from a very wealthy family nearby a large city. We don't know if he attended college (it's possible, maybe unlikely), but he would've had private tutors all his life and possibly something like an elite boarding school education. And yes, reading is not formal education, but he clearly cares about and enjoys learning and I don't think what he accomplished on his own should be discounted as just "pretentious books".
At the end of the day, love isn't determined by a pros and cons list or what looks good on paper. Louis is the "chosen one" because Lestat loves him. Utimately, they're compatible, probably more than Lestat and Nicolas (I've talked about why here and here) and it works. Personally, I'm glad love doesn't work on a rational system like the one being described in the ask. Where would we all be if it did?
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jiannguo · 1 year
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Why, why, why is it that when I searched yt for xiao zhan willing to find a particular add, half of the results when bjyz videos? Why? sometimes I just really hate the whole world. I didn't watch the video, but the title of one insisted that somehow the last douyin Xiao Zhan posted is "proof" of their relationship. And somebody claimed that the couch in the picture you have as your header now is wyb's couch. Or that wyb has been there, although that post of wyb's was from 2019 I guess. And that Xiao Zhan is petting Jianguo's cheeks bc they remind him of wyb's cheeks. Like how about he's petting his cat cause it's his cat?! These people are insane and I don't know how they're capable of reaching that far.
Sorry for the super late reply 😅 This message got buried under other notifications.. I apologise!
That's because 🐢 tag it as "CPN" aka its couple nǎo = couple brain (it's a chi-term). Which means whatever is tagged underneath are by-products of the cp delulu way of thinking, and it's not hard facts, not to be treated as real evidence.
And it's traffic. BL fans are huge.
I'll give you a very recent example. 🐢 think of Doumo Cathedral to be a CPN just because a) XZ posted in 2019 b) in 2016, Italian Senate passes bill recognizing same-sex unions and its supporters took a photo in front of the Cathedral. So 🐢 expect XZ and W*B to get married in 2026 in that Cathedral (the year is because that's when they think XZ's contract with WJW expires). All of it "CPN".
In reality, that cathedral is one of the most popular spots in Milan right in the middle of city centre, so photographing there isn't a big deal, Cai Xukun, Li Yunchun etc have filmed photographs and vlogs there. Secondly.. as much as 🐢 believes the theory, the reality is a gay couple can't get married in Doumo Cathedral out of all places. Its a Catholic Church, and gay marriages in Italy can only have "civil unions". Honestly, some of these people should read up on it, Google is free.
Lastly, what the relationship between XZ and WJW is at present, no one knows. It's all speculation.
So Anon, these people can literally create a mountain out of a molehill and call it a mountain, and say its "cpn". And anything goes. It's sort of sad, as they will put their theories in front of basic common sense and logic.
And if you even want to try and add some sense in their logics, they'll simply use the term "homophobic". Which is weird as XZ's fans encompass many people of all walks of life including LGBTQ community. They are more pissed towards 🐢 who think outing someone for the sake of a ship is their God given right.
Anyways.. enough rant 😅 . In a nutshell, let's just ignore, report (esp the misgendering posts) and block.. some people will never change their minds.
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the-colour-wheeel · 1 year
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Hello!
We are the colour wheel. We are an autistic dissociative plethora (not a system!) awaiting a psychiatric assessment. We believe we have DID as we have distinct identities with very heavy amnesia. We are diagnosed with autism, PDA, dyspraxia, JHS, C-PTSD, and chronic GAD. We’re suspected by our family and professional team to have DID, BPD, SAD, and EDNOS. We discovered that we were a plethora at about 9 years old before we even knew what dissociation was. This blog is going to be dedicated to documenting our symptoms, our journey, debunking misinformation about the disorders we/our loved ones have, coining terms, and making friends!
DNI:
Basic DNI, Christians (especially catholics), call non-men “femboys”, transfet/lesbifet, endogenic/supporters, white tulpamancers, you believe in/push system responsibility (especially on untreated PwDID/OSDD), anti-science, anti-psychology, against correctly done polyamory, improperly practice/abuse polyamory, improperly practice/abuse BDSM, promote EDs (including BED), post about hypnosis, post images of spiders, use the term neurodivergent knowing its origins, use the term sysmed, support autism speaks, transabled people, transpara (to illegal paraphilias), transautistic/transADHD, transplural, use xenogenders/neopronouns if you’re cisgender/neuroabled, superstraight/supergay/superlesbian, mspec lesbians/gays, believe in satanic ritual abuse, support DissociaDID/Kya and Co
This blog is a safe space for:
CSA victims, mentally ill people (including NPD, ASPD, BIID, substance problems, and other demonised conditions) no matter recovery progress, disabled people (all disabilities, hidden and visible) no matter presentation, PoC, all trans people no matter transition progress, all queer sexualities no matter presentation, legal paraphiles (especially those developed due to trauma), people of all classes/financial positions, people who buy clothing dupes because they can’t afford the originals, scene/emo/goth/punk/jfashion people (ur so cool!), crossdressers/drag artists
Our first posts will probably be intros, term coinings, and debunk posts! Feel free to follow us on our journey! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪
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countdraluka · 2 years
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Alcina creating a male persona only to marry with Maria? Like Elisa and Marcela!
"On June 8, 1901, two women who worked as teachers were married in La Coruña (Galicia, Spain): Marcela Gracia Ibeas and Elisa Sánchez Loriga. To achieve this, Elisa had to adopt a male identity, Mario Sánchez, thus appearing in the marriage certificate. It is the first attempt at a homosexual marriage in Spain of which there is registry evidence. They did it for the Catholic Church, in the parish of San Jorge in the same city. Later the priest discovered the deception, and they were denounced and persecuted."
Yes, I've read about them!
It's always very interesting to learn about LGBT figures who managed to trick the reigning system to live a more authentic life. In fact, I imagine most of them did it so well, that is the reason why we never even heard of it! There must have been quite a few Johns or Pammys who found out that their estranged aunt and her elusive husband were actually a lesbian couple going about their lives - and were either too shocked or felt it wasn't their place to go around shouting the newfound family drama to the rooftops once the needle dropped, so it stayed a secret. A generation later and such precious tale is lost to beyond the grave - funny how impermanent some things can be, right?
Also, knowing the amount of masculine sapphics nowadays who get mistaken for cheery young men on a daily basis, I bet it really wasn't that difficult of a stunt to pull off if you had any skill in forging documents. Just steal your late brother's waistcoat and birth certificate, get your bride some flowers for her bouquet, and look offended if the ancient clergyman makes any comment on your lad-like appearance. Firmly state you're your father's son, goddammit, and move on. Teens got married all the time back then, anyways - and who's going to check? Proceed to live a gay life to its fullest and profit off your neighbors' misguided charity when they get sad over the fact that in the twenty years you've lived next to them, you never had children. Pay off a coroner to keep their mouth shut when your time is up and all will be dandy.
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improbable-rainbows · 2 years
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Warsaw, Poland: Equality Parade 2009: Parada Równości 2009 (1,2) by Kuba Bożanowski on Flickr
AP, 2021:
WARSAW, Poland (AP) — The largest gay pride parade in central Europe took place again in Warsaw on Saturday for the first time in two years after a pandemic-induced break — and amid a backlash in Poland and Hungary against LGBT rights. The year’s Equality Parade came 20 years since the event was first held in the Polish capital. It was banned twice in its early years by a conservative mayor who feared it would promote homosexuality and last year it was canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic. Warsaw Mayor Rafal Trzaskowski walked at the head of the parade in a sign of support for LGBT rights, joining thousands who were cheered on by others waving rainbow flags from apartment balconies and sidewalk cafes. But that level of acceptance is not universal in Poland, a heavily Catholic, largely conservative nation. The joyful and colorful celebration was tinged with fear of what the future holds for the rights of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people after setbacks first in Russia and now in Hungary. “The day of the parade is always a bittersweet moment for our community,” said Rafal Wojtczak, a spokesman for the organizers. He described feelings of sadness and helplessness that LGBT people have not achieved rights liked same-sex partnership or marriage in Poland, while also facing new threats. ... “We’ve been through a very, very rough time. But at the same time, we are going out in the streets and we are saying we are stronger and we are not going to give up,” said Miroslawa Makuchowska, vice director of Campaign Against Homophobia.
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soldier-poet-king · 3 years
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I have to do a report on digital finding aids from a local archive and St Michael's College has the Henri Nouwen fonds and you BET I'm finding a way to make that the subject of my assignment.
Can I read Dutch? No. But the finding aids are in english so that's all that matters.
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mrs41258 · 3 years
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About the italian 15x18
I don't know if someone is surprised but they shouldn't be. Italian dubs have always no-homoed everything more than it was possible, often with hilarious (yet sad) results. The first Tyrelliot "I love him" was no-homoed too.
Heck, they even censored a gay kiss some years ago and the creator of the show (Shonda, it was How to get away with murder) has to step up to force them to re-insert the kiss.
Some days ago Disney has been fined because it aired a "blasphemous" Griffin episode. Here gay marriages are illegal, gay couple can't adopt, not even if the kid is the bio child of one of them, a very bland law against homophobia has been stalled for 6+ months and likely it will fail, homophobic and transphobic opinions are mainstream. If you kiss your same-sex partner in public you risk to get beaten. Lately we got some progresses such as civil partnerships (w/o adoption) but honestly society is still overall homophobic. Besides we're under a strong hold of the Catholic Church, which is a cultural and political problem (it is able to influence laws and there is a big catholic lobby which includes most powerful politicians, 34000 companies and like 300000 people). Honestly this Church stuff is a can of worms.
My own family is composed by raging homophobes, TW EXPLICIT HOMOPHOBIA for example my father once told he would have set a singer on fire because he looks gay. My mother once said gay people deserve the electric chair, even if now she's got better and she's even pro gay marriage, she "only" call them slurs. All uncles and even cousins are homophobes as well, use slurs and are very conservative. I'm an outspoken bi person, usually, but for my own safety I have to stay barricaded in the closet in my home town. END TW
I'd add that Rai (our public cable TV which curated the dub) is even more "old-fashioned" than civil society, it's considered TV for boomers and bigots and its direction is parceled out among political parties, which are all socially conservative, more than the average citizen, who is already a lot conservative.
Like, on Sundays catholic masses are aired on the first channel and most young people stopped watching every Rai channel completely some years ago.
So we Italians are not surprised LOL.
On a light note every time Rai does something like that, it's usually with hilariously bad results, they can't never change the context or the other dialogues to make the censored dialogue be coherent.
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msookyspooky · 2 years
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About your post about greasy teen boy and kid googles, in my highschool there was this guy supeeeer popular with greasy hair shitty attitude and dumb as fuck. I found him so fucking ugly, literally repulsed by him but all my female classmates and even teachers... (yes... teachers) found him such a hot bad boy. One time he gave attitude to one of my friend (the sweetest guy, so kind and shy that u can't possibly have a problem with him cause' he doesn't even speak to you to avoid confrontation) so I told him to back off or we might have a problem that included my chair and his head. His response was that I should stop playing hard to get (where the fuck that come out I don't know) and I don't have a chance... because I think he thought I was being "mean" to him as a way to have his attention? I don't know, but I decided to demolish him by describing every single thing I founded ugly about him (physically and personalty talking) From greasy hair (obviously) to croocket nose, to a huge lack of skincare showed by a myriad of red pimples all over his face that I doubt he washed, from a basic fashion style stolen by Danny Zuko of Grease (lol... grease... grease hair... HA!) and the most annoying of all the fact he always act so sleepy, like he just woke up, talking so slowly... just to hide the fact that he was dumb as fuck and need more time to think.
Plus the friend he was picking on would for sure became someone successful in the future, will accomplish something with his life while him is gonna stay with his daddy and enherit because nepotism and daddy issues go hand in hand. AND HE WAS SHORT!!!
And as I finished the last sentence... the magic spell fall! Everyone start seeing what I was seeing... A rude greasy guy with attitude problem. His mini fangirl groupe slowly disappeared (just a girl remained) teachers weren't charmed anymore by him and guys started found him pathetic. He didn't graduate with me caused he failed one too many classes. Lol.
Moral, greasy rude teen boys are a lot of smoke... but no roast. Being mean to someone and pointing out all their insecurities IS VERY WRONG, but with guy like this is the only way to defeat them and save other people from being bullied.
Btw his response, a very late one I might add since I had already walked away, was "Shut up, everyone knows you're a lesbian" (I lived in a very catholic and conservative city so being gay was the worst thing to be, they literally forgive pedophilia but not homosexuality) and my screaming one was "I would love to have hard core bdsm sex with Meghan Fox" I was a 16 teenage girl, a pretty confused 16 years old, and being this repulsed by this guy that everyone found hot made me seriously doubt if I was straight.
Im in my twenties now and for sure I can say that I'm straight... but Megan Fox is a huge exception.
BRROOOO He sounds like every freaking popular guy I went to school with they were such dick munching asshats for no fucking reason and girls ate that shit up! My guess is when you pointed that out and he was stunned with his dumbass delayed reaction; the bad boy persona slipped OR you got in his head that bad that it slipped on its own and those gaggle of girls saw it.
Good for you and I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and your friend! Every asshole I went to school with in these small towns either became teachers, got pregnant and married before they were able to drink or are working at a regular job like everyone else EVEN THO they were going to be someone and everyone else was the loser....Sure Josh. Whatever you want to think babe. I'm sure you and your friends are better off in life than that fuckface will ever be.
And yeah, in small towns, the bad boys no matter how ugly are always popular. The ruder they are, the more girls want them. It's pathetic honestly and sad on the girls part. I pray those girls outgrow it bc it's fun in fiction but not irl.
I'm sure saying that about Megan had every catholics mouths gapping at you 😭☠️ Good for you bby 😜 😌
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surveillance-0011 · 3 years
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TBOI Headcanons: Horsemen
Death
He/him
He’s...nice. Not a good person by any means but he’s the most polite of the bunch. Kind of strange though. Creepily calm, a bit sarcastic, and he has a pretty morbid view on the world.
Reserved and usually grumpy. He can be rather chipper off-duty, though. Putting up with the others takes a lot of energy from him.
Tired....
A bit neurotic but good at coming off as a down-to-earth guy.
He’s the most book-smart of the bunch and he’s fairly wise. A bit emotionally stunted, but he tries his best to be mature and make the right choices.
Death is more than a bit nihilistic and pessimistic. He has a hard time just... caring, mostly about himself.
Not to say he’s completely apathetic, he can be pretty empathetic but he tries not to act on that too much because if he did his job would have broken him by now.
He likes to think he’s got it all under control, but he does not. He’s more prone to pettiness and stupid decisions than he’d like to admit.
That being said he’s been pretty good with like. Growing and maturing though. He’s changed more than he realizes in just in the past.... decade or so ago. A bit of a late start for an immortal but hey at least he’s slightly less of a scumbag.
It’s usually not easy to anger him unless he’s really tired or something’s already set him off. When something does piss him off badly he’s a bit prone to freaking out. He’s not very good at handling his emotions. 
Sees his own job as a necessary evil, because hey, someone’s gotta do it.
Interested in botany/gardening, as well as literature.
Genuinely nice- or at least polite- to the kids when he’s not supposed to be murdering them. He sees no reason to go out of his way to do so, especially since unwarranted cruelty towards others has only bit him in the ass.
Famine’s older brother. The two have always had each other’s backs.
Diligent, and always considers the logistics to things instead of acting on emotion alone.
Protective of the other horsemen.
Pretty short tbh
His horse’s name is Chili.
Famine
She/he (bigender). You can use both interchangeably or only use one set, she doesn’t care. Fine with they/them too but it’s never really clicked w/ him enough to be preferred.
Usually prefers more masculine terms (brother, sir, mr...) but fine with anything.
.Flips between bouncing off the walls and having no energy whatsoever.
Impulsive, she’s got terrible judgement and has the most idiotic of ideas sometimes.
Fairly easygoing, tries to forgive and forget and doesn’t let little transgressions get to her
Actually pretty damn sad. Needs some self care but never looks after herself.
I mean she’s optimistic and usually happy but like. There’s always just a bit of sadness, you know? He’s dealt with a lot and it’s definitely taken its toll on him.
Disaster Lesbian
Tries to be a graceful loser but she can get a bit more competitive than she’d like to admit.
Has a hard time relating to others and considering how they feel, at least when it comes to anything more complex than “bad thing happened now I’m sad/mad” He’s a drifter by nature, always onto the next big thing for a quick thrill.
Eats a lot. It’s never enough.
Plants and a good deal of food will decay if she touches them, or even gets too close to them.
Like his brother he has some interest in nature. Famine is more on the adventurous side, though. She’s tried to live off the land a few times with varying success.
Named her horse Frisk
Pestilence
He/him
Calm, quiet, but also a pessimistic jackass.
Always in a bad mood. I mean, he’s permanently sick with just about everything contagious and deadly. You’d be grumpy, too!
Surprisingly high pain tolerance. A good deal of his nerves have probably just.. shut down or something. Or maybe he’s just numb to everything after a lifetime of pain.
Sleeps a lot
Dislikes his situation a lot, but doesn’t mind the company of the others.
Lazarus is terrified of this dude. The other kids are mostly grossed out or annoyed by him.
Likes to be alone.
Fairly smart, but comes off as absent minded bc he’s pretty much too sick to function. He slips up a lot and he’s pretty damn clumsy
Probably the most rational of the bunch, when he’s not in airplane mode. 
He’s also got a fairly strong moral compass. He doesn’t really like fighting the kids unlike War and Famine. Or just having to go up against people in general. Hell he hates the fact people get sick because of him. At the very least Pest has higher standards and is fairly transparent
But that isn’t to say he’s a good person. Yeah he doesn’t go out of his way to hurt others for shits and giggles and He’s Not Conquest but he doesn’t ever object to any of the shit the kids are put through and well. Yknow he still does kill them. He will also encourage some of War’s antics when it’s against someone he dislikes.
Tries to be as supportive as he can for the others. He knows he can’t do too much without overexerting so he tries to be encouraging and comforting as he can.
This compassion usually isn’t extended to humans, though.
Not very emotive, the only emotions he ever really expresses would be disdain and mild concern.
Not very fond of Conquest but they don’t hate each other. They actually work together well, too.
Friends with Mahalath. They’re pretty close!
His horse’s name is Moses.
War
He/it
He’s not very friendly, he’s pretty defensive and always on edge.
Out of all the horsemen, he’s probably the one closest with the Beast.
Lots of scars n injuries, it’s practically stitched together
One gold tooth
Impulsive, prefers solving issues through violence than through reason.
He can be fairly clever, though.
Intentionally angers/upsets others, likes causing problems and ruining things for people.
Desires wealth and power
Gets burnt out pretty quickly.
Emotional, insecure, and sensitive, and he hates this part of him. Definitely overcompensates for it.
Explosive temper, quite literally. Catches fire when upset and explodes if it’s more intense. Damage done to him also makes it happen. It’s not entirely voluntary but can be held off, and his “sobbing” sprite is him doing exactly that (but he’s probably also trying not to cry lmao). In the Ultra War fight, however...
Its daily routine leaves a lot to be desired. It wakes up, goes to work, then it goes home and just. Sits and rots.
Also, his diet is god awful. Please just eat a fruit or vegetable for once maybe you’d feel better goddamn.
He cannot remember if his horse is actually a horse or not but uhh he named her Bellum.
Conquest
He/they.
High and mighty sort of attitude. Can be very selfish. Stubborn, set in his ways. Gets defensive if you call him out or tell him he’s wrong.
Gay + nonbinary but in the closet (and denial) about both of those things. They’re trying to unlearn years’ worth of internalized bigotry.
Used to be worse, now trying to unlearn his toxic behaviors. But he’s still awful.
Doesn’t remember anything before their death. However they’ve held very strong Christian (specifically Catholic) beliefs all their life and they have a pretty black and white way of thinking.
Very cold and clinical. He has a bit of a temper but there’s a sort of calmness to everything he does even when he’s pissed.
Just as argumentative and aggressive as War but like more of a threat.
The others call him Connie sometimes, especially Death, who practically almost always calls him by this nickname.
Doesn’t harbor ill will towards Pestilence. They might have been overshadowed, but it’s not Pestilence’s own fault. If anything, being out of the spotlight has been good for Conquest, even if they do miss the attention sometimes. The only reason the two dislike each other is because their personalities clash.
Now if there’s anyone he hates that would be the Headless Horseman. Fuck that guy amiright
Very protective of Death. The two are close, Death is probably the only person who is consistently nice to him.
Utterly terrified of needles (hypodermic, not sewing needles, though he’s not good with sharp objects tbh) and medical stuff makes him anxious
Seems very... off. Just weird vibes but no one can pin point what about him is wrong.
Oh uh and his horse’s name is Josephine.
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inky-duchess · 3 years
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21 History Ancedotes for my 21st Birthday
So today I celebrate my 21st birthday and I have decided to gift you all with 21 of my favourite historical Ancedotes. Some are funny, some are sad and some are plain bizarre but I hope the make your day 💜
Mary Maloney, an Irish-born suffragette in England followed Winston Churchill around while he was campaigning for a seat in Parliament, drowning out everything he said with a very large bell and calls for him to apologise for his comments on women's rights and suffrage movements.
Clodius Pulcher was a well born Roman noble during the last day's of the Republic. He gave up his Patrician status to become Tribune of the Plebs (an office in which one had to be a Pleb) by being adopted by a much younger Plebian man who became his "father". Clodius was a bit of a riot, sneaking into religious festivals dressed like a woman to sleep with Caesar's wife, building a shrine to Liberty in the ruins of the Conservative Cicero, vetoed the last speech of one of the Consuls (who basically did nothing all year and was apparently going to roast Caesar) and burned down the Senate House with his funeral pyre (the Plebs who loved him literally tearing up the furniture to build his pyre). He was honestly the best fun.
When laying on her deathbed, Queen Caroline of Ansbach turned to her husband George II of England and told him he should marry again. George refused to ever wed again... But added he would have mistresses. Caroline said , likely with a roll of her eyes, "oh my god that doesn't matter."
Florence was a pretty cool city in the Renaissance until Savanorola came to town. He disliked the loose living artists that crowded the city, with their naked pagan gods and rampant homosexuality. He expelled them all with help of the French hoping to make Florence Holy Again. When the Borgia Pope excommunicated him and sentenced him to death, one man in the crowd was reported to have said. "thank God, niw we can return to sodomy." One Floretine man in the 1490s said Gay Rights.
So this list couldn't be complete without an entry of the only American politician I love, Alexander Hamilton who was just a walking entity of sass. I could go on about his sharp sarcasm or his disaster bi vibes with John Lauren's but my all time favourite Alexander Hamilton ancedote has to be this exchange with Thomas Jefferson "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair."
Caterina Sforza was an Italian noble woman during the Renaissance. She was apart of the powerful Sforza family, which drew many enemies to her. One fateful day at Forli, Caterina's children were snatched as hostages. The besiegers threatened to kill her children if she did not cede the castle. Caterina refused, lifting her skirts and shouted to the besiegers that she had the means to make more children.
Hannibal Lecter's creator Thomas Harris was happy to end his great character's story with the original trilogy. However his publishers forced him to write an unneeded prequel explaining why Hannibal became Hannibal. Thomas Harris agreed lest he lose the rights to his character so he wrote Hannibal Rising, where Hannibal as a young man hunts down the Nazis who ate his sister with a katana.
Nell Gwyn is my favourite mistress of Charles II, mainly because of her sass. Once while trapped in the middle of a riot where Londoners swamped her carriage thinking she was Charles's Catholic mistress. She popped her head out the carriage and told the people "Pray good people be civil. I am the Protestant whore." She also dosed her rival Moll Davis with laxatives in order to free up some of Charles's time and she once flashed her underwear at the French ambassador after asking him why the Franch King did not pay her to spy on Charles because she was with him every night. A true Queen.
Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty of China once rose from his bed to go do some ruling when he realised his lover, Dong Xian was sleeping on his sleeve. Rather than disturb his lover, the Emperor cut his sleeve off at the wrist to leave Dong Xian nap. Nothing has ever been more romantic than that. Y'all could never.
Princess Margaret the sister of current Queen Elizabeth II was a socialable Princess and often tasked to visit the up and coming music stars of the day on behalf of the Crown. When meeting the Beatles one evening, she noticed George Harrison was acting a little odd. When she asked what was the matter, he replied "We arent allowed eat until you go." Princess Margaret laughed and promptly left so the Beatles could get some dinner.
During the Siege of Jadotsville, Irish soldiers under the flag of the UN were attacked and besieged by local insurgents allied with the Katanga Regime. The insurgents numbered thousands while the Irish only had 158 soldiers, all who were lightly armed. They radioed to their allies assuring them that "we will hold out until our last bullet is spent. Could use some whiskey though".
Napoleon was famous for writing raunchy letters to his wife, the Empress Josephine while he was away. She used to reply with really mundane letters or not at all. She really just could not be bothered with him.
Josip Broz Tito was so fed up with Joseph Stalin sending assassins to kill him, he wrote to Stalin personally to say "If you don't stop sending assassins to kill me. I will send one to Moscow and I won't have to send another." It didn't work but Big Dick Energy.
Successful Roman soldiers returning from war often got to march along in parades known as Triumphs. During this, it was customary for them to sing bawdy songs about their commander. One surviving one about Caesar goes like this "Romans, lock up your wives. Here comes the bald adulterous whore. We pissed away your gold in Gaul and come to borrow more."
Matilda, Lady of the English was a woman so badass that history cannot handle her. She was the daughter of Henry I who left his throne to her after the death of her brother. She was away in France when her father died and her throne was snatched by her cousin Stephen. They battled back and forth for years with neither side ceding any ground. Matilda was once besieged in a castle during a snow storm, with Stephen's men all around her. Instead of fighting her way out. She simply donned a white cloak and walked out of the castle. Just walked out without any of Stephen's men seeing her.
Pedro of Portugal once fell in love with a beautiful lady in waiting called Inez de Castro. For years, they lived as man and mistress, popping out a few kinds. Pedro's dad really did not like Inez and wanted Pedro to find a legitimate wife so he had her killed. Pedro returned home to find the mother of his children dead. Pedro went a little crazy. He had all his father's assassins killed, ripping out their hearts as they had done to him. When Pedro ascended the throne, he demanded the Pope legitimize his children by Inez. The Pope not wanting to upset the King, said he couldn't because Inez was never crowned Queen. Pedro dug Inez up and crowned her as Queen, having all the nobility swear loyalty to her corpse. The Pope had no choice but to agree to his request.
A famously clever general once saved an entire city with an ingenious stragety to sit outside the city waiting for the attacking army to come. The attack had come to fast for the city to ready themselves for a Siege so, the general had to move quickly. He evacuated the city and took his place waiting for the army to come. The enemy forces stopped and took one look at him and bolted, thinking he meant to lure them in one of his famous traps.
Michaelangelo was really badly treated by the Vatican when he was painting the Sistine Chapel. He constantly fought with the Popes over the design and his work, which he was paid peanuts for. Michaelangelo got his revenge in his work, painting the gates of Hell behind the Papal Throne and an angel flipping the ol' fig (the Renaissance version of the bird) toward the Pope's chair.
Peter the Great was not a perfect guy. He kept serfdom as a practise in his kingdom, he had his son tortured to death and he could be an unpleasant guy. But Peter was a dreamer. He wanted nothing more to build a fleet for Russia and bring Russia beyond its borders. Peter took a gap year from ruling Russia to wander around Europe. When he stopped in England, he was granted Leicester House to chill in while he did his shipwright studies. It was here that Peter found a new passion. The wheelbarrow. Cue Peter and his new found English buddies drinking in Leicester House, punching the artwork and rolling each other around in barrels across the house's Great gardens.
Diogenes is hands down a walking shit post. He was a great thinker in Greece during the reign of Alexander but a rather dry, sarcastic wit. He lived in a pithos/a jar because he shunned all vanities and values of society. He trolled other philosophers, attending their debates to heckle them and eat loud foods through them. When Alexander the Great came to fan boy over him, saying that if he were not Alexander he would like to be Diogenes to which Diogenes just said "yeah me too, now get out of my sunlight."
Cosimo de Medici was the son of a Floretine banker with a great knowledge and love of art. Cosimo wished for Florence to release its potentially and join the Renaissance. He hired Filippo Brunelleschi to finsh the Great Dome of Santa Maria del Fiore which had láin unfinished for over a century, a symbol of a failure of ambition. The builders had lost the knowledge of creating a dome so large so it remained unfinished. Despite much opposition from the other nobility and denouncers of the Renaissance, Cosimo's dream of the completion of the dome was completed, making it the largest brick dome in creation at that time. There is nothing like achieving your dreams and certainly nothing like leaving a lasting reminder that screams 'I was right and you were wrong' to stand for centuries.
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licncourt · 2 years
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Louis, control, and hunger
After much thought, I would like to present the theory that Louis' defining character trait is not sadness, morality, or even hypocrisy, but actually hunger. At his core, Louis is, in spite of himself, such a consumptive force, a black hole of desire starting from well before he was turned. Building off of that, it's his commitment to restraining that hunger and his lapses in control following challenges to his personal ideology that drive his defining character beats.
Starting from when he describes himself as a mortal, we get the impression that he's keeping himself in check through religion and duty, but the loss of Paul starts a downward spiral for him that escalates and carries through the rest of the series.
When Paul dies, we see austere Louis lose his motivation to resist intemperance and succumb to that force of hunger entirely. He fills his emptiness with gambling and alcohol in extreme excess as he loses control in his grief and religious struggle. That's the first time this hungry part of him is visible in the story, but it's definitely not the last. He's always seeking and consuming in the narrative but he's also never satisfied. Lestat offers him, through vampirism, a kind of worldly pleasure that he's never been able to truly experience before and he accepts it on this hungry impulse, leading to a very literal manifestation of his desire for consumption.
Blood is the most obvious thing he denies himself, but it's also there in regards to his sexual repression. Louis is moving through the world as a gay man who is also a devout Catholic living in the 18th century. Through his cultural lens, that alone is a damaging desire that he has to restrain starting at a young age, and we see him lose that control when he's approached by Lestat in a vulnerable state. Lust is a kind of hunger on its own and he describes it in very frank terms to Daniel when he discusses Lestat's visit to his bedchamber.
Later on, he also becomes hungry for knowledge, and Lestat refuses to provide it. For many years, he restrains that desire and contents himself with Claudia and their domestic life, but when Claudia provides an opportunity for him to satisfy that hunger, he allows Lestat to become collateral in satiating it. Even then though, what he learns in Eastern Europe and from Armand isn't enough for him.
The blood thirst is the very literal manifestation of that hunger and his battle for control and temperance (it's even mentioned later in canon that he's unable to restrain himself to the "little drink" that other vampires are capable of), but it's always been there and is innate to him. Louis is terrified of his own nature completely removed from vampirism. He's addicted to anything that fills the void, but he can never fill it sufficiently.
Everything and everyone around him is eventually sacrificed to it in some way: his principles for the numbness of alcohol, his mortal victims for blood, his humanity for the freedom and pleasure of vampirism, Lestat and Claudia for knowledge... It never really ends. He always loses the battle eventually and that terrifies him.
What's interesting though is that Louis is clearly very aware of this part of himself, not unlike a dry alcoholic knows they're one slip of discipline away from a bender. He's so destructive but also so conscious of the disaster he wreaks on others, hence the neurotic control issues. For all the self-awareness Louis lacks in other ways, he's actually very in tune with this particular perceived character defect, probably because of his Catholic upbringing.
With all that being said, the interplay of desire and control is what I see as the primary driving force behind his actions and beliefs throughout the series (especially Interview because let's be honest, AR doesn't let him have any meaningful character development outside of that). Louis is, on the surface, extremely calm, reserved, and disciplined, but it can come crashing down with one well-placed hit to a weak spot. That's what makes him such a loose cannon and ticking time bomb. He has this hunger, but he also has VERY strongly ingrained beliefs and convictions that are his last line of defense against total indulgent chaos. Any significant interference with his ideological framework leads to a Chernobyl meltdown.
The biggest weakness he has when it comes to maintaining control is any attack on those core beliefs that he uses to keep himself in check. For example, he feeds on Claudia in the wake of Lestat's challenges to his moral philosophies. He goes off the rails when Paul's death causes a crisis in his faith and self-image. Claudia's brutal appeal to his paternal love for her breaks down his romantic loyalty to Lestat and lets his desire for knowledge take hold.
These losses of control are intrinsically tied to his belief system because those beliefs ARE his means of control. Destroy the convictions and you destroy the control, which is why, in my opinion, he's so viscerally horrified by Lestat's influence over him.
When Lestat showed up, I think he saw that part of Louis, saw that he was, in a way, already "vampiric", a force of consumption. However, Lestat underestimated Louis' commitment to resisting that part of himself. Louis is so afraid of his own nature that it's paralyzing and that's compounded when he becomes a vampire, making him double down on his beliefs to counter this new hunger he can't cope with. The immense liability Lestat poses is what I see as the main reason for Louis' resentment of him. He poses a huge threat to the self control Louis depends on. He's the ultimate temptation and the ultimate challenge, one Louis knows he can't resist indefinitely. And ultimately, Lestat does win and shatter the framework.
Anyway I think about that a lot.
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