#this world is really disgusting and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows

[mysicklove]

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄

DAY 10: SOMINOPHILIA

With: Levi Ackerman

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: gn! reader, sub! levi, nightmares + insomnia mentioned, oral (m! receiving), handjob in dreams, implied age gap, set in around season 2 timeline? im kinda forgetting which season erwin was in... kissing..lots of kissing, reader being puppy coded and levi is sick in love

A/N: sorry this is late!!!! i hope this also isnt too confusing considering it switches back and forth between his dream and irl. idk. also title is named after a song by The Mamas and The Papas that i LOVEEEE

Levi Ackerman finds himself plagued with nightmares. It was always like that though, since he could remember at least. Three to four nights a week he awakes in the middle of night dripping with sweat with his heart nearly beating out of his chest. He has grown used to the lack of sleep by now, it barely bugs him anymore.

That is, until he found someone to share his bed with. 

You were his light, as dramatic and sappy as it sounds, and something he will never admit out loud. But it was true, finally in this dim world he finds himself in, you came crashing in, brighter than the sun. He had fallen for you in record time, and you, drawn to his stoic and feisty aura, came tumbling down after him.

It's been a year now since you've gotten together, and Levi swears the nightmares are getting less frequent. 

Well, at least in the nights where you lay beside him. The nights where you hold him, and he has easier access to your heartbeat. The steady rhythm of your chest rising and falling. Alive.

He doesn't go into too much depth about the nightmares, but you know the general scene of them, usually relating back to his comrades deaths. He has mentioned that the recent ones involve you, and it makes your heart crumble for your beloved each time his voice cracks through the explanation. You don’t press too much on the matter – the nights he wakes up in a cold sweat, you are there to ease him back to sleep, reassuring that you and he are safe. He almost gets a full night of sleep with you around.

But alas, you aren’t all sunshine and rainbows, and neither is he. Nope, you happen to be one of the most erotic people have ever met (though, he hasn’t met many). A sick brat is what he calls you, or sometimes a disgusting pervert, if he’s feeling extra grumpy. The nicknames fly past your head, as you pepper his face with kisses. It was all in good spirit, is what you remind yourself at least. 

“Soooo, Hange recommended–”

“No.”

You pout at the man, pulling away from his chest to glare at him. “You didnt even let me finish my sentence.”

His cold face doesnt let up, even if his eyes hold a playful light to them. “I am smart enough to recognize that anything having to do with Hange is a bad idea.”

You playfully hit his chest, and the man raises his eyebrows at you. A smile pulls at your lips, and Levi cant help but stare whimsically at you. It was unfair, really. “Fine, get on with it, brat.”

“How would you feel if I woke you up with a blow job?” His reaction is immediate, first shock, and then as a couple seconds go by he seems to be much more inclined to agree, but then finally settles on an scowl.

“Why were you talking to Hange about these things?”

You cock your head to the side, tapping on your chin. “Well, I mentioned that your nightmares have started again, and they told me that oral sex helps stop them. Something neurologically with your dick and brain? I don't know.”

He stares at you for a couple of seconds, bewildered at your explanation. But, he realizes quickly what is up, and he immediately pinches the bridge of his nose with a long sigh. “They are fucking with you, idiot. Just trying to get me laid. Hange has always been like that.”

Your face falls at the words, and Levi swears you managed to master the kicked puppy look. He grabs your hands and pulls you back onto his chest, rolling his eyes when you hum into his skin. The warmth brought him comfort, and he finds himself more at peace. “I mean…It won't help with the nightmares, but who would turn down waking up to a blowjob?” Levi mumbles into your hair, while rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

You twist to look up at him, the familiar grin back on your face. “Yeah?”

He scoffs at you, an embaressed blush coating his cheeks. “Just dont wake me up early, alright. Just gonna piss me off.”

He swears he can see you wagging a tail. “Of course, Captain!”

Two weeks have gone by, and Levi has not woken up to your face anywhere near his dick. He has awoke to kisses along his cheeks, and neck, but that wasnt new, you were always disgustingly affectionate in your half awake state. He holds a content (half) smile for about ten seconds as he shuts the door of your room, only for it to drop when he sees Hange.

He wasnt the one to complain though, maybe you were just teasing him. You always did like to press his buttons. He wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of knowing he wants it. So, the dark haired man continues on, nightmares and all, through the weeks.

By the time a month came passing by, he knows that you forgot all about your stupid little promise – your stupid naive words that only worked to piss him off. He glared at you from across the halls for a whole week – never daring to actually show you real signs that he was upset. But after you accidentally caught him frowning at you from across the training grounds, he was immediately dragged back your shared rooms, and fucked lovingly, as you apolgized for everything you could think of that would piss the man off.

You didnt mention the blowjob, but Levi was content with the disheveled hair, and the hickeys and bite marks littering his body, so he forgives you. 

He forgets about the blowjob after two months. You were more horny than usual, so the two of you were at it multiple times a week. He would end up too exhausted to hold any real dreams, including his nightmares.

Levi was okay with it.

9 am. Levi, for the first time ever, was oversleeping. Of course when you woke up at 8 am, on your day off from training, and found your lover by your side, you couldnt help but be shocked. He was usually gone by 5 am to get to training. 

But you heard him woke up multiple times in the middle of the night. The nightmares were back. His shaky hands wrapped around you, and he panted into your neck, trembling like you've never seen before. You don't know what triggered it, but Levi seemed to have a really bad night. 

He deserves to sleep in. So, at fifteen past 8, you scamper to Erwins office and beg the commander for Levi to have a day off. He always did have a soft spot for you. For one, you brought happiness to humanities strongest, and also because his friend silently threatened him death if he was to mistreat you. Erwin agreed without much hesitation. 

You crawl into bed next to your lover, and begin to trace his content face. At least the nightmares were gone for the night.

Then, the realization hits you. This was the perfect time for you to finally do as promised.

You waited months because you wanted Levi to forget about your words. Of course, you assumed he forgot them after a couple of days, paying no attention to your promise, but you waited it out just in case. 

And now, the both of you dont have any plans today. A once in a lifetime experience, it has got to be.

So with one more glance at your lover, you kiss his cheek, hold back a small giggle, and slowly remove the blanket from his lap. Then, you slide yourself down on the bed, and carefully manevuer yourself in between his legs. He doesnt sleep with much attire, growing hot in the night. Plus with the addition of the cold sweat he often finds himself in, he learns that going next to bare was easier. 

You pull down his boxers, and are immediately exposed to a dark patch of hair. It's trimmed properly, but he prefers to have a little hair down their over being completely shaven. Something on the lines of protecting his dick from germs or whatnot. You dont listen to the details, only thinking about how hot it is.

The boxers make it past his thighs, and you glance back up at the man. He doesn't even seem to flinch when the cool air comes into contact with his skin. He snoozes peacefully into the pillow, his dark hair covering his eyes. 

His dick lays limp against his leg, and you pick it up slowly, careful to not wake him up. You run your fingers over it a couple of times, and then, holding the back of it with your fingers to support it, you run your tongue from bottom to top of the length. 

Levi doesn't move. You take that as a sigh to continue. 

Another stripe of the tongue, and then two more, and nothing happens. You grow bolder by the moment. You place his still soft cock into your mouth, and this time you do hear a reaction. Its a quiet sigh, but it was something. His eyes still remain shut.

Slowly, you begin to suckle on the tip, finding it easier to fit it in your mouth while soft. Your tongue roams the shaft, and you press sloppy, wet kisses to his veins. Blood rushes to his cock unconsciously, and Levi still has not stirred, even with his cock now hard. You chuckle with amusement, but dont stop your movements, now dragging your hands along his thighs to appreciate his body.

Levi was having a good dream. It wasnt like the past couple of nightmares, no, this one seemed to have a light hue. It was just the two of you, laying with your backs against grass. A open field, far away from everyone, and not a threat in sight. Titans were gone.

A peaceful world for the two of you. A world Levi craved. 

His hands trace your face, and he stares at you, admiring every crease and divot of your skin. You slide your way over toward him, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”

He hums, eyes falling shut, as he wraps his arms around your body. “Yeah, yeah. Love ya too, brat.”

You giggle at him, and suddenly the smile on your face shifts. It turns soft, the tips of your mouth curling up in an almost feline way, while you eyes become hooded. He watches you lean forward and press your lips to his. The man doesnt stop you, gently kissing you back while your tongue slips into his mouth. Levi gulps when your hands trace down to his pants, and he quickly looks around the meadow, afraid to discover an unwelcomed guest. Of course there was nobody, it was a dream, not a nightmare. Your hand slips into his pants, and Levi’s back arches in the grass.

He twitches in his sleep and you smile fondly at the man. The tip of his cock rest against your cheek, as you admire him for a second too long, only to be rewarded with jolt of his hips from the source unknown, sending it slapping across your face. You hold back a laugh, and then grab at it again, mumbling out a, “Even a brat in your sleep, huh Captain?” 

You lean forward and wrap your lips around him again.

“D-Don't stop!” Levi groans out, hands clutching at your shirt while he squeezes his eyes shut. It doesn't stop the sun from getting past his eyelids, so he moves closer to you to hopefully block it out. You press your lips to his neck, nibbling at the space just beneath his ears.

“Would never,” You purr, and the man glances at your hand. His pants are pulled down completely now, and your pace was rutheless in its up and down motions. It sends him shivering, and covering his face with the back of his arm. He breathes through clenched teeth, and tries his best not to let out a whimper. The man hears your giggle, and before he could stop himself, the whine slips out.

The first noise of the morning was a low whimper. Not much, but definitely there, and unbelievably cute. You grip at his hips and try to take him deeper, but his hips thrusts back into your mouth with another paired whine. Your eyes widen, and you gag out at the unexpected movement, having to pull away to catch your breath. His dark hair whips back and forth, and he continues to make low mewling noises. “Huh, and you call me the pervert. What are you dreaming about, pretty?”

Levi moans into your mouth, wrapping his arms around your neck. His hips buck up into your hands, and you playfully bite his lip, earning a dramatic grunt in complaint. He grips your hair and pulls you back to his lips before you try and let out another teasing remark. Precum leaks onto your hand, and he swears that it provides more of the makeshift lube then usual. Your hand feels better than normal, strangely damp, and so warm. Did handjobs always feel this good?

He can feel his high approaching and his breaths come out quicker. “Gonna..cum. Fuck!”

You detach yourself from his lips. “No, no, no! Not yet!” You tease, voice light and almost giggly. It wasn't the first time you denied him of his release, but it was rare. You always di did pamper him. 

The man scowls at you, borderline on the cusp of baring his teeth. “Why?” He demands, short and simple, but shows exactly how peeved he is. Levi is more than surprised to feel that you didn't squeeze his cock in warning. No, still the warm, tight feeling, that does not make any sense to him.

“Can you do something for me first?”

A demand from you? Unheard of. “Get on with it, I-Im close”

Your hand movements become louder and louder, and it shouldn't sound like that. It's so lewd, and the squelching noise are never that loud. 

You press you lips to his ear, and a shiver runs down his spine at your breath, which is strangely cooler than usual. “Wake up, Captain.”

His eyes snap open immediately and he pants into the dark room. Levi hears it first, before he feels it. A loud slurping sort of noise, and the man feels his cock trapped between something warm, wet. 

A throat. Not a hand. 

He is quick to manevour himself to hold his weight on his elbows, and glances down at you, breaths coming out shallow and quick. You smile when you catch his eye, and for a second you pull away from him. You pepper his length down with kisses. “Well, well, good morning, sleepy head,” You mumble, letting another swipe of your tongue graze his thick blue vein. Then, with little hesitation, you dive back onto his cock, taking it as far as you can into your mouth.

“What are you–Fuck!” His legs instinctually bend outward, and his back arches. His head was still foggy in his half sleepen state. Was that all a dream? Was this real? He grips onto your hair, and does his best not to force you deeper onto his cock.

Levi could feel his orgasm approaching and rapidly, same as the dream. But this time it was real, and by god did it feel that way. His hips buck into your mouth and he lets out loud moans, tucking his face into the pillow to try and muffle them. 

He tries to ask for permission again to cum again, hoping that this time real you wouldnt lead him on. It comes out more as a command, but you just roll your eyes with a smile, the giggle in the back of your throat sending him spiral. 

“Cumming. Oh god. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He chants, and your eyes widen in shock, but you don't pull away from his cock. He was never the one to be polite in bed, the little brat was always barking commands and half hearted complaints. He must be really enjoying this treat if he was to thank you.

You dont have time to dwell on it much, because he forces your head lower onto his cock and cums into your mouth. You wince at the taste, but bear no mind to it as you watch your lover unravel. His back still continues to arch (which you will never get over) while his eyes are shut. The noises he lets out are soft, more of a mewl and a groan, but adorable nonetheless. His whole body trembles and his legs lay out wide, shaking under the force of the orgasm.

You pull away when he is done, and wipe your lips with the back of your hand. “Taste perfect as usual. Always so good on your diet!”

He rolls his eye at you, but it doesn't hold much bite considering that the man seemed to be basking in the post orgasm glow. “You are gross. I know that shit tastes bad.”

“Nope! Anything that the Captian makes is amazing”

He throws a pillow at your face, and you pout at him, a dramatic whine slipping past your lips. “Don't call me that, I am not even your Captain anymore, brat. And stop pouting!” He demands, pulling up his boxers before letting out a big stretch.

“Why are you so mean to me?” You complain, crawling forward to lay on his chest. “After I gave you head too!”

The frown does not drop from his face, but he does trace his fingers along your face. A silent token of affection that you purr into. “Took ya long enough. Thought you forgot about it.”

You fake hurt, taking in a dramatic breath. “Of course not! I would never lie to you.” The words are light, and holds a smile in them. “And hey, dont you think you are a little spoiled? Complaining that you got a blowjob too late.”

Levi doesnt even seem to react, his facial expression remaining neutral, and his words flat. “No ‘m not. Said thank you and everything.”

To this, you do nod, practically vibrating with affection to give. It was too hard to really be upset with him. “Super polite of you! I was so impressed!”

This does make him roll his eyes. “You really think low of me, huh?”

You poke at his cheek with a smile plastered on your face. “Aww cmon dont be dramatic again. You know I dont. Oh! Also, did it help with the nightmares?” You tease, knowing exactly what type of dream he really was having. “You sounded very….Scared in your dream.”

He seems to flush red, but alas, Levi was never the one to be on the losing foot. “....Yes. Seems like you are going to have to do this for me everyday. To stop the nightmares.”

You burst out laughing, and fail to see the small grin that creeps up the dark haired man's face.

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#mello.writes #Barkforme! #Kinktober 2023 #dom! reader #dom reader #sub! levi #sub levi #sub levi ackerman #sub! levi ackerman #levi ackerman smut #levi smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x reader smut #aot smut #aot x reader #sub aot #sub! aot

[marvel-ous-m]

After Starcourt, Steve and Robin began a new tradition- 'spa nights'. Robin would make them homemade face masks (“peaches and yogurt? On my face? That’s disgusting Robin.” “Shut up and put it on, dingus.”). They would put in a shitty tape from Family Video and Steve would paint their nails. (“How do you even know how to do this Steve?” “I’m a babysitter, Rob, it’s in the job description.”)

The school year started and Robin got a lot more busy- what with it being her senior year and all- but they still made time for spa nights. They were less frequent (maybe once a month instead of every other week), but they happened.

Vecna came, they killed the bastard, and they all lived- somehow, miraculously, certainly not unscathed, but they’re all alive. They beat him. A few months later, after the almost-end-of-the-world, Robin brought up their spa nights. (“Come on, Steve, it’s been months. My brain needs a vacation, my face needs a vacation, my nails need a vacation.”) Steve agreed, acting reluctant (but was secretly really excited to get back to one-on-one time with his best friend).

Except the kids find out, namely El and Max, and they beg Steve and Robin to join them. The two acquiesce, and then Eddie hears about it and joins the party, too. Uninvited. (But nowadays he doesn’t need an invitation. He shows up, bright personality and even brighter smile, and brings a constant, welcome addition to the party. Along with some… feelings that Steve can’t even start to try and acknowledge.)

The spa night comes and everyone crowds into Steve’s living room. Robin has put together a new face mask recipe (“ugh, what is in this?!” “Just shut your mouth and put it on, Red.”), Eddie brings his braiding skills, and Steve provides the nail polish.

Only now, his hands shake.

It’s something he’s noticed by now. The nerve damage from fighting the bats and Vecna, the 24/7 anxiety, the brain damage, something that they faced over spring break has left him with a tremor that he can’t quite get rid of. Sometimes it’s small, sometimes it’s more noticeable, and tonight… well, it’s not great.

Robin wiggles her fingers at Steve, ready for their tradition of him painting her nails, and Steve hesitates. It’s a small thing, but his shoulders tense. He hasn’t mentioned the shaking to anyone yet, and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to get the crisp, clean paint that he used to. The tremor would make itself obvious, and he just can’t face picking up the nail polish bottle. It’s a sign of the new weakness, one that he can’t admit to others, can barely admit to himself… he can’t face being seen as weak. As flawed. As-

“Hey! Are we painting nails?! Here, lemme have a go. I haven’t done it on anyone else before, always just painted my own.” Eddie interrupts Steve's train of thought in his easy way and grabs the nail polish from just below Steve’s hand. He plops down between Steve and Robin, admiring the color the later had chosen. “Robin’s Egg Blue, very fitting, Birdie.” Eddie winks at her and starts painting, accomplishing a more polished finish than Steve was ever able to get before Spring Break.

And Steve just watches. Quiet, his hands on his knees. He watches as Eddie paints Robin’s fingernails blue, then Max’s a bright red. Eddie paints Eleven’s a deep purple shade, then gives himself a fingernail in each polish that Steve has to create a rainbow of clashing colors. Afterwards, once the paint has dried, the girls all wash their face masks off and curl up to watch the shitty movie Robin had picked.

Eddie turns to Steve then, a bright yellow shade in his hands. “Want a turn, sunshine?” Eddie must’ve seen the look on Steve’s face, the flash of pain, because his voice turns to a whisper before Steve can answer. “I can help you keep your hands steady, Stevie. Don’t worry about that. Just relax and lemme treat you to a manicure.”

Steve startles at that. He thought he'd been better at hiding it. “How did you know?“

“How wouldn’t I know, Steve?” Eddie grabs Steve’s hand, a gentle but firm grip holding his fingers straight and steady. “I paid attention. I noticed. We all came away from that fight with a different scar, and we all need some extra help with different things now.” Eddie speaks as he paints, carefully brushing away any mess with the corner of his thumb. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I get it if you can’t tell anyone just yet. I’ll be here to help, though. Just like this. If you want it.”

Steve’s quiet still, but now in an effort to keep his emotions at bay. He’s never had anyone do… anything like this for him before. Eddie moves on to paint his other hand, and they sit in silence while the sound of the shitty rom-com washes over them, joined by the occasional giggle or mocking comment from one of the girls. Eddie does a second coat, brushes any scraps of excess paint away with an alcohol wipe, and caps the nail polish with a gentle smile.

Steve admires his nails, then glances up at Eddie, his eyes welling. “Eddie, thank you-“

“Don’t worry about it, darlin’, it’s just a paint job-“

“No really, Eddie. Thank you. For everything. For noticing. No one’s ever-“

“I’ll always notice, Stevie.” Eddie squeezes Steve’s arm, then turns slightly to watch the movie, his hip pressed against Steve’s.

Years later, in retrospect, Steve realizes that the spa night was the night he fell in love with Eddie Munson.

#my writing #steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #domesticity after the vecna fight >>>> #Hope the past tense/present tense shift wasn't too jarring for u guys #my writing style is unique (by unique I mean stupid) #stranger things post s4 #steve harrington/eddie munson

[thranduel]

i need people to actually stop and think logically when it comes to fictional characters. more specifically, when it comes to astarion.

it’s frustrating when people only talk about him in a sexual way and reduce him to “the hot sexy flirty vampire” or “the bear guy” (he was used as an EXAMPLE in a livestream, it’s not even canon in his lore) and view him as someone who “loves flirting and sleeping with people” when he does NOT. he canonically has sexual trauma, was forced to use his body to seduce people, got punished whenever he didn’t listen and is STILL suffering from ptsd after years of abuse and torture (already kinda spoke about this here).

it’s also frustrating when people hate on him and reduce him to “horrible evil heartless cruel annoying bastard” and act like you’re a shitty person if you like his character and must automatically agree with everything he’s done when you absolutely don’t?? he’s a FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN A FANTASY GAME, you can enjoy the complexity of his character and appreciate his character development while also acknowledging his flaws and not approve of every single thing he has ever done.

but before i continue, everyone should watch this scene. many people haven’t seen it because you have to pick very specific dialogue choices when astarion’s siblings approach you at camp. it’s brutal and heartbreaking but this is where he talks about what cazador did to him when he punished him for not listening to his orders. and yes, it’s bad. like really bad. this is just the first part, but the rest of it is more intense and it’s in the video:

“once - in the first decade of my slavery - i found a darling boy who i couldn’t bare to bring back to him. so i ran, instead of hurting that sweet man. after cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own, for an entire year”.

i wish people could actually just try to understand him and his backstory before reducing him to something he’s not. he’s not this one-dimensional “chaotic evil villain”. he’s not this “flirty sexy vampire red flag bad boy” he is SO much more than that. he is so complex and well-written and it’s so weird how people ignore it.

instead of constantly focusing on how he acts at the beginning of the game and saying “astarion is so mean and cruel what a horrible guy who doesn’t care about anyone but himself”, why can’t we talk about how he was forced into doing so many horrible things that he never wanted to do and how his master punished him every time he didn’t follow orders to the point where it utterly broke and destroyed him? he lost his freedom and bodily autonomy. he was forced to sleep with people and then lure them to tragic fates. imagine how sick, disgusted, guilty and horrible he felt all at once. it made him numb, empty, angry and scared even when he was far away from cazador, because that type of pain and trauma never leaves you. he was surrounded by cruelty for so many years that he responded with cruelty in many situations. he hated when people tried to be the hero or make false promises to save someone because no one ever saved him. no one even tried. he had no one and nothing. he was used to constant disappointment and loneliness. he was treated like an object rather than a person. of course he’s going to be bitter because of that. how can you seriously expect someone who only knew a world of cruelty to see sunshine and rainbows and be the sweetest person you’ve ever met? he’s upset, he’s angry, he’s hurt, he’s bitter. does that make every action of his okay? is it an excuse? absolutely not. and no one said that it is. his own life was being destroyed and he also destroyed others at the same time. it’s horrible. but everything cazador did to him explains why he became like that.

but the moment you actually start to treat him like a person, you can immediately see things start to change. that is literally the only thing he ever wanted. that’s why the scene you get after the drow interaction at moonrise is one of my absolute favourites. i know there’s a different version of that scene (if you don’t talk to the drow) where he instead admits he had a plan to seduce you but then fell for you, but the reason i prefer the drow one is because it feels really meaningful and important for his character in regards to consent and treating him like a person. like it’s just such an important conversation to have with him. obviously the other version is still really sweet when you think about the romantic aspect of your relationship and it’s nice to hear that he’s fallen in love and tells you that you deserve something real, because he’s never had those sort of feelings for anyone. it’s really beautiful. but i love how the drow version of the scene could actually work for both platonic and romantic relationships with him if that makes sense? it’s important to him because you made the decision to actually treat him like a person, defend him and allow him to make his OWN decisions (something he never had with cazador). he appreciated it so much that he decided to come up to you in the middle of the night and thank you, and then he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and open up to you.

at the start of act 3, you already start to see how much he’s changed. if you give an orphan child some food, he approves. when you first met him, he wouldn’t have. he probably would’ve felt bitter; angry to see someone stop for someone else when no one ever did for him. but because you showed him basic respect and kindness, he started to realise that there is good in this world and people do care. it’s not just evil and coldness and cruelty. he only believed there was because of how long he suffered with cazador. there is literally a scene where he tells you that no one has ever cared about him or been kind to him and that no one else has a heart like you. he starts to find safety and comfort in you. this is why it’s so beautiful to see how much he grows and changes and it also shows that he genuinely loves and cares for you too because he’s trying. he’s really trying. you are able to convince him that he can be better than cazador and he believes you after everything you’ve done to help him. it’s going to take a very long time for him to heal after everything he’s suffered, but the fact he has already started to try and be a better person is such a massive thing. obviously it doesn’t erase what he’s done in the past and it doesn’t automatically “fix” him, but the fact that he’s trying and he wants to be better tells you more than enough about him. i am so proud of his character development and growth and i really hope people start to understand him and appreciate him more.

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #meta #character analysis #i am once again going to cry #sorry some of this is a little repetitive because i’ve spoken about it before but i just can’t stress it enough #the amount of people that don’t even bother trying to understand him is aggrevating #not everyone has to like him but don’t make stupid comments when you don’t even put the effort in to get to know his character and backstory #bg3 spoilers #my posts

[chanstopher]

Dear friends, just a note to say... dress warmly, eat well, stay safe and sound, keep smiling, I’m always there for you. 

2022 was a really great year for me on here, I’ve made more friends than i ever could have expected, and had so many wonderful interactions with people in my askbox and beyond. Stray kids have brought me so much joy, only amplified by the kindness I have received from all of you. I am so grateful for all you have given me, especially the love and support you have shared. I feel so privileged to be a part of such a kind, safe, space. I love creating for stray kids, and especially for chris, it brings me so much peace and joy in my life and I’m thankful to everyone here for giving me the opportunity to be absolutely insane over him.

@lonelystreetlight the loml (behind chris and jeongin and minho and jisung and cha- you know where you stand) my bestest friend my otp to age our friendship 😌 i love you and i miss you so much you’ve helped me more than anyone could ever understand and i’m forever trying to draw enough jisungs to repay that 🍕

@brianbangs amazing how we proved science wrong by being actual twins while never having met 🤔 truly immaculate of us. thank you for being the most unhinged person in the world with me about that one guy we’re both disgusted by. and for being the sunshine and rainbows to my lil storm cloud of a being. i know our friendship is still so young (how have we not known each other for decades?) it’s so important and special to me. i love you very much the ashley to my mary kate 

@quokki oh my wife i love you so much. you are so talented and fun and amazing. i love getting to watch your art style evolve into the super cool style it’s become. i get to look at that immaculate chris every day and be so floored that you made it just for me 🥺 thank you for being my friend, it really means the world to me

@nevoono god you are so special to me nev, i am so happy you live in safe my little phone making the cutest and funniest art in the world. and that you’re constantly giving me these perfect icons and thinking of me 🥹 i love you so so much you’re the sweetest person ever i’m so happy you’ll always be my first stayblr friend 🖤

@decembermoonskz oh izzy my angel i love you so much, you’ve truly made my entire stayblr experience a million times better, i love talking to you and hearing about how you’re doing and i’m always here keeping you in my thoughts and hoping the world is treating you like the ball of sunshine you are to me and everyone lucky enough to know you

@ the stayblr discord there are a million of you i cannot be bothered to try and tag everyone, but thank you for all the amazing love and support this year, literally could not have gotten through it without you. i love you and i promise i’ll try to be more active 😔

@ my anons my sweet little garden of anons that come to visit me i appreciate you so much, i feel so lucky to have each one of you coming to spend time with me, to share things with me! you’re all so very special to me 

and last but not least to all my mutuals and followers, you mean the world to me, i would be nothing without all the support i get in the tags you give me. there are so many ppl on here that i’m too shy to talk to but i adore i wish i could befriend each one of you like you deserve. thank you for being here and loving chris and skz with me 🥹🖤🤍

Signed

Dreamy

ps if you get the reference from the beginning im kissing you on the forehead hehe

#drm.pst #drm.txt #i love you all so much <3

[midnight-stormm]

I wanna say something briefly.

Yesterday really show two sides of this fanbase. One who's trying to educate and give critique criticism on sapnap choice and one side being antis, dropping him, calling him disgusting names, thinking he's the worst human being ever.

Yes he made a poor decision but he's young. He's going to make mistakes because he's learning. Yes, he's 22 and so, he's learning the world and the corporations.

He has a good heart and has shown that, he just wants a change for a platform to be positive and that's nothing wrong but when you have a site that hasn't shown change since being created, you will have some doubts.

I know he sees all the criticism and taking it in. I trust him and I feel like he may make another post regarding this seeing that many of us are concern about moving over to kick. He's allowed to feel valued on a platform.

None of these streaming platform are all rainbow and sunshine. Each one have their own major issues from not promoting poc and black ppl and women on the front page. To targeting black ppl and taking down their content and even Chanel without much of a reason to why, under payment the list goes on.

The main concern is finding a platform where not only he can be valued but be somewhere that his fanbase can also feel safe too. I don't think he's this horrible person that ppl is making him out to be over this decision.

I just feel like it wasnt the right move, which i said is a learning lesson. The ceos can sit here and promise him for positivity and change but i feel like they are just saying this to use him and his platform which sucks.

Maybe this can be a postive change, but idk. I'm going to wait it out and see what else he may say. I'm still going to watch his YouTube and twitch content but I don't feel safe on kick which is okay.

#hoping he sees all the criticism and rethink the decision #for the safety of himself and his fanbase #many of us are poc lqbtq+ and a women #that site has shown that they dont like us #maybe it can change but right now i have doubts #sapnap

[xsezzie]

Profile Tag Game

Hello: My name is Sezzie, I know I can be rather blunt and robotic at times, but I promise you I don’t wish to intentionally hurt you. I am always open to having a chat whether it be in my DMs or through asks.

Chat: Tickling - Of course I like tickling, no shame in that. It’s completely normal… some people get flustered by it? Oh well, those people are the cutest~ Hm? You aren't cute? Well, I guess someone will need some tickles to convince them otherwise!

Chat: Identity - I wonder who I was yesterday, who I’ll be today, and what I’ll be tomorrow… I wish I knew who I was.

Chat: Masking - That thing I just did now, it was incorrect. I will be sure to act correctly in accordance with societal norms next time. If I do not act correctly then others will become disgusted or angry... Just as I would if you were to do the same.

When It Rains: Ugh, this would be nicer if it was at night time…

After the Rain: Everything either looks really clean or really dirty depending on the area… oh look, the birds are coming back out.

When Thunder Strikes: Ah… so relaxing.

When It Snows: What’s that?

When the Sun Is Out: Everything is as it should be…

When the Wind is Blowing: Ugh, my hair is messed up now…  

Good Morning: Get up already, the world is perfect at this hour. The bad people don’t come out until later so it’s best to enjoy it while it lasts! 

Good Afternoon: So hungry… must do my best to not eat a big meal…

Good Evening: Better get inside… they will be coming out soon.

Good Night: The optimal sleeping hours for those who suffer from depression are 10pm to 5am. Setting yourself a strict bed time will do wonders for your mental health, so hurry along, time for sleep.

About Sezzie: Alphabet - A fellow neurodivergent coworker taught me to think of all my disorders as “my alphabet”… so my alphabet currently is GAD, MDD and BPD… with ASD and ADHD in the process of being diagnosed.

About Sezzie: Writing - I actually hate that I’m the writer in the family and cannot physically draw. But, having a high literacy IQ certainly comes in handy when I’m creating. I’m glad people are able to feel my writing when I put the effort into it.

Something to Share: Name - My real name means “princess” apparently… I hope I don’t come off as one.

Interesting Things: Senses - Ah I love exploring sensory things. Honestly, I believe that feeling sensory pleasure is very soothing and not always supposed to be NSFW as most see it.

Sezzie’s Hobbies: Each of my personalities seems to have different hobbies, but if had to take a guess on the true me… writing, worldbuilding, and video games would be on top! I do also enjoy learning new things and gardening.

Sezzie’s Troubles: My existence troubles me… too dark? Well, deal with it. Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows, and I’m tired of coddling the special ones.

Favourite Food: I do not have the ability to have a favourite food due to my sensory eating issues… my addictions and interests change constantly. Ah but if there is one I’ll always come back to… Chicken Kievs hehe

Least Favourite Food: All of them! I like the art of food but eating? Bleh. I wish we didn’t have to.

About @otomiyaa: Ahhh she is my idol! I have been following her for years.. and only recently got the courage to begin talking to her more. I get nervous and think I come off as some weird fan that thinks they are friends with their idols. Forgive me Otomiya-SAMA!!

About @ticklystuff: He is the first person I began talking to when I joined the community. I feel like I owe him something for all the kindness and chats we have had together. I wish I could talk more often about hot MEN with him hehe

About @ticklish-n-stuff: Sakura-chan is one of the few people I can let my guard down and show my more "embarrassing" or "fangirl" sides to when it comes to characters I like. I am grateful to have her in my life. She also gushes about MEN with me and we have a blast discussing tickling.

About @nataliewritez: Nat is my adorable little sister and is a joy to chat to about anything. I can't believe we have known each other for nearly 2 years already!

About @fanfic-chan: Dessie is so adorable and such a comfy person to be around! Also the biggest lee ever hehe

About @ticklygiggles: Little does she know how cute she is. Perhaps I should go tease her sometime soon...

-

Tagging @fanfic-chan @nataliewritez @ticklish-n-stuff @ticklystuff @italeean @thatonetickleblog @anzynai @stopiteatpopcorn

#genshin impact #profile game #profile tag game #personal

[ghostiex0]

yooo i found your blog awhile ago and everything is just *chef's kiss* would it be alright if i request some headcannons for Doc, Blitz, Thermite, Jager, and Caveira about what they would do if their S/O was kidnapped by the White Masks/a terrorist organization? how do you think they would react to the news?

Thank you hun <3 I’m excited someone requested a female op, I love rainbows’ girls, I also really enjoyed writing this whole ask!

TW: kidnapping, terrorists and light mentions of torture.

Doc

- Always stressed and always working, now he won’t even leave any of the working stations. If he’s forced to he just brings all the work with him. Gustave is constantly looking over the folder they’ve put together for your rescue.

- He knows the information they have isn’t enough yet, but he also knows that the love of his life is in the hands of some disgusting and cruel people.

- Truly, he doesn’t want to think about the horrible things you could be going through yet it’s all that his mind seems to wander too.

- Sure, Gustave has always been the type to get short with people, but now there’s no warnings for when that happens. He sounds so spiteful and hurt to everyone who interacts with him.

- Harry starts to get worried if Doc being on the mission is even a good thing and pulls him aside to talk about it a few times.

- Gustave needs this though. And states his case that he’s the most experienced medical personal they have here. You’ll need medical care when they get you.

- “What if we can’t get them Gustave?”

- His stomach caves in on itself at that one sentence.

- “I won’t accept that failure.”

‿‿‿‿

Blitz

- A sunshine that absolutely loves you and makes sure everyone knows. And trust me, everyone knows about you two.

- So when receiving news and confirmation that you were kidnap and currently being held hostage, no one wanted to be the one to tell him.

- When Elias did find out, he was crushed. It was like his world stoppped. He couldn’t process it for at least the first five minutes. He just kept looking at them, nervous laughter and eyes pleading, praying for them to all the sudden say “just kidding!”

- But they never did. “I’m sorry”, is all they said before leaving him alone.

- Apart if him is in such shock he just lays for a while. He wishes he could just lay forever but it doesn’t take too long for it to click that you’re kidnapped. He has to get up and go on the mission. The longer he lays the more danger you’re in.

‿‿‿‿

Thermite

- Jordan’s lost almost everyone close to him. His mother, his sister, comrades… He sometimes feels like Rainbow is all the has left.

- When you arrived though, he had something else to live for. He had someone to call when he had a break or when his co workers talked about their families, he could brag about you.

- The news just absolutely kills him. He wants to lay down and wake up with you in the morning, telling him how silly he was and that it was all a bad dream.

- Already, he has troubles bringing down his stress levels. Yumiko has had to step in a bit and help her friend. Especially once he receives this news. Yumiko is doing what she can to help Jordan get through this.

- At night he sits over the planners and case file and maps and notes- all of it, his eyes never close for longer than 30 minutes. He’s very well liked among his peers, so everyone’s at least a little concerned about the Texan.

- “Jordan, you want to be able to get them home don’t you? Then take care of yourself so when we go in, you’re in top shape. They’d want you too.”

‿‿‿‿

Jäger

- Oh my dear Marius. His childhood was lonely and he’s always been at least a bit too out of everyone’s box it feels like.

- Then you came along and he’s never cared for anyone the way he does you. Now he’s wondering if that’s a bad thing. With a job like his maybe he’s not meant to be with someone.

- He was informed of your kidnapping while watching the latest documentary about biomedical engineering. He remembers pausing it on 1:15:17. After that nothing felt real.

- Marius immediately jumped up to get to work to find you. Anything and everything he was doing it.

- He tried to keep a level head through it. But his cracks showed through to the others. His normal abrasive optimism of “It’s our job, of course we can do this.” Doesn’t feel as natural as it used too.

- He wants to be straight in the action of your rescue. He wants to be able to hold you again, soothe your wounds and make sure you’re okay.

- Marius isn’t an aggressive person and the GSG9 has trained him to hurt the least amount of people possible during his missions. Seeing any of the horrible people who were involved with taking you away though, it fills him with an unusual amount of anger.

- His goal will still remain the same throughout everything. He won’t let any of these bubbling emotions tear him away from that. He needs you home.

‿‿‿‿

Caveria

- Taina always been afraid of letting people in. She’s seen all the messed up things people can do. But she loved you and you loved her. She was honestly happy with something so soft. And the world took that away once again.

- She’s shattered by this but she only shows it around others with her anger. They can’t know how she’s cried when she found out.

- But her close comrades notice, even if she doesn’t want them too.

- She’s known to be more of a hostile person. Blame it on the years of learning the art of how to properly (and legally) torture someone. Or maybe even the crippling poverty she watched her family suffer from.

- Harry can understand Tainas frustration. But letting her on the mission could leave some major problems on Rainbows hands. Knowing that Ash is one of the only operators that Taina can get along with, he asks her to deliver the news.

- “ Taina. We’re removing you from the mission. At least the frontlines. You can still help with background work. But that’s all… I’m sorry.”

‿‿‿‿

#r6s #r6s x reader #rainbow six siege #doc x reader #blitz x reader #thermite x reader #jäger x reader #caveria x reader #headcanons #doc #blitz #thermite #jäger #caveria

[igotanidea]

Sorry but that little “pain” fanfic that you wrote is fucking gross. There’s always that one person who thinks it’s cute to write about such gross and serious topics as if it’s some kind of fictional story. No that shit actually happens and your writing it like it’s some kind of “sexy smut” you’re gross and insensitive. It’s okay I’ll happily block you because I’d hate to see all the other disgusting and weird shit you people like to write. Do better!

Well hello to you too and thanks so much for your opinion.

Since you are going to block me, you probably won't see it but still here's my opinion on this.

For the love of god, I can't figure why you called it "sexy smut", since most definitely I never used that term. Besides, warnings are for something. Should read them, really, that's the whole point of posting them before the story.

Secondly, you say gross topic and then you go all " that actually happens" so that's some inconsistency here. No matter what we want we are not living in a "sunshine and rainbows "world.

Last, I can't see how I'm insensitive. If, as you said yourself "that shit really happens" why do you assume I know nothing about it? That it didn't happen to me or someone close to me? Besides, fanfiction is not only supposed to be based in "supernatural" world, but also talk about realistic situations. Point of "art", if you may, is to get people's attention, shock them sometimes, yes, but also to got them to think.

Here's my apologies to everyone who may have felt offended by this story, but I stand by what I said above.

[cloudypinkblink]

one were suguru was always Yggdrasil

think of it like he wanted to see the human world with it own eyes so he made the persona of suguru

maybe he married and started a family with sayuri so he could try to understand why humans cared about 'family' so much , if he actually cares for them idk

WELL! Teehee twirls my hair giggles

I also just love drawing Suguru bc he hansomeee hehehe But here's my own spin bc u know me by now anon :3 His reasoning for finally peeking at the human world is likely that the barriers are thinning and digimon are starting to spill into the human world, and Yggdrasil wants to experience and see humanity before making any decisions. He feels right now is the safest time, as humans are beginning to learn and see something new and unknown, but it's happening at a slow, calm rate so there aren't any major catastrophes yet. Definitely just disguises himself as a guy. I like the idea of Yggdrasil genuinely falling for Sayuri and genuinely loving his family- I actually really like the idea that he didn't necessarily plan to have kids, so he was lowkey using his god powers to stop that (and he told Sayuri something abt him just not likely being able to do that) He just wants to explore this human world and humanity; despite all the cruelities that do happen, he enjoys her perspective, and finds himself warmed by her genuine optimism- but is grateful for her realism as well, because life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Despite that, she has strength to keep moving forward, keep being kind, and keep smiling. He feels... apathetic towards the rest of humanity, but Sayuri's outlook definitely helps tame any disgust or hatred he has. I feel he also genuinely likes and respects DATS- or at least the members who show genuine interest AND respect. I think around now he has a little hope in the humans that are good; that they can outweigh the bad. That's probably why he begins assisting the humans with digital partners. Yes, he could just reveal himself or do more; but the mission is to see what they do with what they're given. Can they really be compatible? Can they really be friends? He can't force such bonds, so he wants to see if humanity will take his gifts and use it well. (He is a little biased, treating his digimon with more favor.) By the time he has Masaru- I think at first he kinda expected to view Masaru as just another creation. to feel towards him what he does towards Digimon. But his affection for Masaru (and later Chika) exceeds that, because they were children born of love between him and another.

He loves his family, genuinely, but he is also the god of the digital world, and as things worsen, I think he has to make decisions. That's still his world that he reigns over. I think before he leaves during that goal to find Ikuto, he finally tells Sayuri the truth. It's... a lot for her to swallow, and I think they leave on awkward terms- it's the kind of thing where she wants to talk to him, have questions answered, etc etc,. but she needed time to process first, and he left before she finished. She keeps it from Masaru and Chika- unsure how they'll take it. I think she gets a little mixed feelings when Masaru befriends Agumon. Yggdrasil definitely pays attention once Masaru starts poking into the Digital World- curious how his son feels and views everything. At the end, he is largely proud of him (wishes he'd be less hot-headed, though.) Yggdrasil maintains his human form, but he does reveal the truth to his Royal Knights, Bancholeomon, and some other ruling digimon, like Mercurimon. Kurata's actions definitely soil Yggdrasil's views on humanity- in his rage and anguish over the loss of so many, he forgets the other humans he met beyond his own family. Even as he watches Masaru work with Touma, Yoshino and Ikuto- who share his perspective, he has a hard time caring for them. In the end the only reaosn he still loves Masaru is because of his familial and fatherly bias. Of coruse Masaru and Chika are good- they are of him and Sayuri. As things worsen, he genuinely starts to plan on a way to cut off conntact with the human world- but he's determined now to bring his family to him. He doesn't want the humans hurting his digimon any further, but he does not want to put Sayuri or his children at risk. Does not help matters when Touma, Masaru's human best friend, betrays them. By the time Masaru and him come face to face, he admits the truth of who he is- and while the others get away, he doesn't let them take Masaru. He tells Masaru his goal to destroy the human world, as it's the only way to save the digital world- and despite Yggdrasil trying to pacify him with the promise of being able to live in the digital world with his family, Masaru is too angry and afraid (dude's 14 and has been loaded w/ a lot recently okay) Yggdrasil just keeps him locked up for his own safety. A big thing is that Yggdrasil IS a computer god thing and IS supposed to be logical, but he let himself feel and have emotions and have a love and have family; it changed how he thinks, operates, etc etc Now he's more likely to feeel rage, anguish, etc., when before he might've kept a calmer head, and instead looked at everything with a colder, but logical, apathy. Now only does he have his family he genuinely loves, but being with Sayuri and learning about his heart, it did make him more affectionate and more protective of his own world. Dunno how this would end yet; I do wanna say it'd probably have a bittersweet ending where Masaru does go to the digital world, where he stays with Agumon (and Yggdrasil) while Chika and Sayuri prefer the human world and remain there.

#man I wish i had the time to write fanfics #this would be so fun to write #just an idea for later i guess LMAOO #God!Au #digimon savers #digimon data squad #daimon family #masaru daimon #marcus damon #sayuri daimon #sarah damon #suguru daimon #spencer damon #yggdrasil #digimon #anon ask #cloudy rambles #anon ur my favorite thing to see when I check tumblr

[theuntamedangel]

Lady Nagant was the perfect contrast to Deku's character and his super naïve outlook on heroism and hero society. He basically had a black and white outlook on life. Upon encountering Lady Nagnt, he came to know about the dark side of the hero society, which begs the question: who really are the bad guys? When Lady Nagant exposed the disgusting secrets and lies about how the hero society and how the world they live in is such a morally grey zone, what impact did it have on Deku? Hawks came to her rescue and said she did nothing wrong, again exposing the black and white worldview. It's only the actions of the villains that can be seen as bad, immoral, and condemnable simply because they are villains and must be stopped at all cost. Twice rushing towards to save his friends in season 6 (normally associated with heroism) is seen as something to be stopped, a villain on the run, a man persecuted simply because he is a ''villain''. Both heroes and villains are two sides of the same coin, capable of crossing over at any given moment because what is right and what is wrong isn't set in stone.

Back to Deku, he doesn't seem to able to form complex human emotions at this point of the series and he has become a shell of what he used to be. The story goes out of it's way to dehumanize on Deku and capitalize on his self harming tendencies, something which both him and All Might shares. His lack of self worth is once again brought into the highlight and now he only sees himself as a vessel whose sole purpose is the defeat AFO, shouldering the entire burden on himself and going on a villain hunt journey.

None of these issues are addressed and we are given a bath scene where it's back to sunshine and rainbows. The series has stopped taking itself seriously and pressing themes and issues are laid to waste in the name of moving forward with ''cool moments'' and nonsensical cliffhangers which are only meant to be the shock factor. There's no room for consequences because at the end of the day, people are just fine despite facing life threatening situations and we have child soldiers running rampant in the battlefield. It's evident the series just wants to end at any or all cost, leaving us scratching our heads and wondering that happened?

[a-weird-writer]

I can't stop thinking about-- How Mercury realized he was in love with his human S/O, I'm sure it wasn't something easy to afford?

Reckons if they changed, whether the Stardroids willfully accepted themselves into modern society (And you know...ceased the destroying the world and enslaving the robotic and human races shenanigans). The mental stabilities differ in those regards. They're destructive, planet ending aliens for Christ's sake, barely any humanity resides in their hearts. Dating humans is the furthest thing from the primary objective.

Mercury involving himself with humans at all, in account with the Stardroid's path of mayhem, is highly unlikely.

So far up his own ass he actually believes he is the center of everyone's world, forever right and never wrong. Narcissistic with a happy-go-lucky temper. Too invested in his brother's purposes to involve himself apart from who he really needs too. The manners of love and compassion are foreign to his usual, alien understanding. Mercury's crazy logic of "love" is pretty biased, unmoved. Remorseless to "downers", boring toys. In other words, weaklings. 'Lower lifeforms' Sunstar calls them. Quick to disregard, abandon things that don't hold candles to his sadistic pleasures, itch specific itches. Argumentatively bores easier than even Terra. And that says a lot, acknowledging how sociopathic Terra generally is. A darling jester followed by shadows, ravaged by childish curiosity and an incredible famine, starving for constant entertainment and interest.

Sunstar and Terra are dire leaders, feared figures. Their orders, their objective is the demand, everyone else's feelings and opinions drown deep. It's clear that should anything disrupt their mission, it's a distraction. And distractions must be dealt with...quickly and/or painfully. Whatever is easier, Terra won't care, as long as the job is done. And while Mercury does sometimes take risks, he doesn't bother against those significantly smarter and stronger than him.

Apart from Terra, Sunstar is strict, and highly enforces all his ridiculous rules. I doubt he allows human relationships so close and personal to his servants outside their main fields. Plus, I don't think they would make that kind of time even if they did, for the same reasons listed above and then some. Determined to fulfill their work; very, very busy bees, flying high and stinging harsh to ensure their order's success.

So yeah, a cost he won't buy. He values his own survival over everyone else's. Follows behind Sunstar solely for his own programming and the power held over him, and the benefits it comes along with. And he so enjoys the benefits, living his creation to the fullest. It's all he can do; with the kind of pitiful life, he desperately lives.

For a flipped Mercury (Thanks to the actions of a certain blue bomber against their Master) however, more in tune with humanity and less concerned with the entire world's destruction, I say there is a shot to be had. And a cost he can, in fact, afford. That isn't to say there isn't some difficulties.

Will he nab it?

Love is a weird feat. Attractive as it is horrifying. To whom not purposefully made to completely grasp or understand it (And the Stardroids don't walk to spread sunshine and rainbows), the disgusted reluctance to mix in the strange complexity is understandable. Focusing on the more hurtful side of it then the advantage and comfort, the indescribable wellness. The thought of unknown pressure, the potential pressure. It's scary, stepping out, trying new things outside 'comfort zones'. Commitment and effort, he isn't used to expressing it in a non-chaotic way, nor in a genuine way. Positivity and light heartedness. Such emotions are alien to the aliens.

And none of them, fancy getting hurt over...avoidable matters. It was hammered into their robotic minds to always see a negative side to everything; to aid their mission, exploit and manipulate.

Really, can they even comprehend happiness? Learn it? Reflect it? Sure, pleasure is accountable. God knows they adore pleasure. Seeking it everywhere they go, euphoria rushes, doing exactly what they were made to do. But there are many different joys in this world, various experiences. Just like how pleasure and love aren't always on the same wavelength. And they all lack a want for love.

And it doesn't overwrite the fact of how utterly aware they are of their actions; the naked truth is, they don't deserve love. So why seek it? For their sins and atrocities, its frankly unforgivable. Threatening, destroying innocent lives, invading Earth and awakening hell for their own selfish desires, forcing their own views on whom is underneath their rule. Sunstar likes having an iron fist and plans to keep it. Deciding who lives and dies, the strong go on to thrive and the weak burn, crushed like insects. It won't take a trail to choose the guilty verdict, can't be more crystal clear.

Thrills and kills are their daily lives, the Stardroids take pride in such actions. But happiness? True, uncorrupted, healthy joy? The brothers were never too close with even each other, satisfied enough at arm's length. Hell, they barely care, let alone function as a family and love as brothers should. For robots made solely for creating despair and spreading never-ending calamity, idolizing the destiny of battle and universal takeover, I wholeheartedly believe they didn't once feel the real peace and tranquility Duo mastered in his vast travels.

Duo was built to cherish life, guard and protect it. Not bring death, nothingness, to insufferable existence as they do.

Mercury isn't a first and foremost romantic, given his personality, changed or not. Pricks are still pricks. A monster with a heart is still a monster. Equipped with sharp teeth and urges to rip your delicate limbs from your body, toy with you like a rag doll. Regardless of his flip to the good side, while it's a cheap price, it's a difficult piece to put together. Coming to terms with loving a human is hard to accept as a fact overall, compared to his centuries of pure hatred, as a harbinger of chaos.

He loathed your kind, slaughtered them for sport. For the high from the bloodshed and nutritious negativity, he feasted. Stole their defender's energy and gave chase as gameplay. Cat and mouse, classic. Doesn't ever get old.

Now, he is a copy of everything he and his siblings once hated. Coexistence. Drunk off visions of you, a fair unfading warmth, oddly welcoming, yet unrecognizable. Growth means change, and there are so many things he never noticed, unrealized by his crazy antics. Beautiful fields shaped in fond memories, clouds flying free, happily breathing the clear valley of skies the Dark Moon once blocked, peacefully floating. The flower petals were dancing, light points tiptoeing, catching swirls, the whistling winds by a hair. Still free, as the clouds were. Without a single care for the world. It was like ballet, how cute, now Earth was just showing off. He really missed everything hasn't he?

Recorded with ripe attention, colors more alive and vibrant in every cycle of remembrance. The seeds of darkness exorcised, their systems beating with the mockery of a heart; corruption eased by newfound eagerness for life, supported by the angelic joy and meaning you gave every piece of life surrounding your weak presence. Only wandering when his next dosage of you will be served.

It's not a question of how he loves you. More of why?

Why should he even attempt to connect with such pathetic creatures?

Why should he show any amount of concern for problems that aren't even his?

Why should he care? Give a shit about people? Humans care less than he does.

Guess the answers depend on you. The one he somehow fell for. If Earth has you, a priceless treasure in an ocean of empty grey, then he can come to pay what he owes.

#ask #anon #anonymous #mercury #megaman #classic megaman #stardroids #mercury x reader #megaman x reader #x reader #reader insert

[lesovoj]

sorry for asking, anything happened again? im not on twt these days coz it's hella messy everyday specifically regarding jimin like even his words are being twisted in recent live and some are like okay he gave permission to draw nsfw art and some translation acc twisted his words. wth is this?

what's wrong with these ppl? yk like he's living somewhere in korea and antis living somewhere around the world. what they get hating on him? and armys im sorry but initially i was like wow their support is immeasurable (majorly on twt) and bts is 7 trending felt like great, after some months of observations it's all upside down to me. idk i thought it's all entertainment/music and liking an idol artistry but it's just more than that to some people and its weird, crazy and sometimes especially the recent trend they did on jimin was last nail on the coffin to me like im done and tumblr is safe place ugh! anyway, im sorry vented out here!

two well known jimin antis that say horrible shit about him got concert tickets

armys mass liking jimin antis posts to validate their fantasies

the problem is that for some reason kpop twitter and especially that one fandom (that is now cause of the certain situation involved with army fandom) has huge hate boner for jimin so even if he has nothing to do with the situation they will involve him somehow and army doesnt do shit sometimes even hype those haters as long as they give them hope that dating stuff is not true

and look if that was the usual stuff like calling someone a flop ugly etc i wouldnt really care that much but the amount of homophobic transphobic fatphobic grooming shit they say about jimin... the rape jokes, trending hate against him when he wasnt even involved and all other gross shit... just wtf did he do to them all . Ppl dont talk like this about rapists and other disgusting human beings but jimin who never did anything really gets so much hate and for what?

and yeah i was the same as baby army thinking it was all sunshine and rainbows in the fandom but the truth is the moment bts members stop acting like they want them to and dont live up to their gay fanfiction fantasy it is going to get ugly and Jimin will somehow get hate from kpop twitter , shippers and his own fandom as usual even if he has nothing to do with anything. i mean dude is the least active member but somehow gets the most hate . the saddest part is you cant even openly talk about the problem this fandom has when it comes to jimin without fans getting upset the amount of ppl blocking or unfollowing me or fighting with me over saying stuff like this is crazy.

dont be sorry you can vent as much as you want and yep most ppl arent here for the music or dance but for their own ego and fantasy

#most armys just dont care about jimin as much as they care about their own fantasy or ship #sad but true #ask

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! Long-time lurker here! Your blog is honestly a breath of fresh air for me, and I always feel so supported (and vindicated) reading your stuff, both about fandom and about sexuality. Thank you for taking the time to run it!

I have a take (vent?) about antis because I’m in a really weird position relative to them, and I apologize in advance for the length.

Like, the only children in need of protecting I’ve ever seen online are the antis themselves (and mostly in need of protecting FROM themselves). I honestly cannot comprehend how anyone can be so viscerally terrified and indignant about everything all the time. And I used to think they’d calm down at least when they find something they enjoy, but God was I wrong.

I ended up writing the most popular (by far) T-rated fic in my anti-infested fandom. It’s escapist sunshine-and-rainbows, everyone-gets-along, people-are-sometimes-not-just-giant-bag-of-dicks multichap fluff. And so half the antis are camping in my comment section. I had to turn on comment moderation because of the bizarre shit I get. Some of the highlights are:

- 200+ word comment which is just bashing other fic authors. Not a word about my fic. Just bashing M and E and darkfic writers, usernames and all. (Some are my discord friends. Some I'd never heard of.)

- Telling me all the ways in which my fic is “healthier” than those other fics that I don’t even know of?

- Multiple comments telling me how “terrified” and “borderline traumatic” it was when they thought I was about to start writing “smut” in that one chapter. (Like helllooo if smut traumatizes you, maybe stay away from the smut dispensary website? Or even better, seek help? You have much bigger problems than my fic.)

- Three different people informing me that it was “disgusting” what I implied with that one throwaway joke - the implication being that the character had a one-night stand with someone before they met the love of their life.

- One that just said how they thought this was going to be incest (Why would you think that right off the bat!?!?!? In a properly tagged fic?) and proceeded to tell me how incest is bad.

- Bashing my beta reader because they’re a very well-known kink writer (hellooooo that’s the person who helped me write the fic you claim to like?? And who I’ve known for years?)

- Forbidding me to link my beta reader's ao3 profile and even thank them in my fics because “someone might click it expecting more of the same and find their disgusting shit instead” and I’m “popularizing them” (Wut. Their monsterfucking tentacle porn fics are more popular than mine anyway.)

- At least one commenter who has tried to bully my (all-adult) discord server friends for writing stuff they don’t like.

And the overall tone of a lot of the more passable comments is just so… desperate and frantic and eager to tell me how morally correct my fic is? Or I don’t know, to be seen doing it? I don’t want that, and I don’t know how to tell them how uncomfortable all that makes me. I don’t think they really even like my stupid fic, they just like moral outrage and enjoy showing what an unproblematic fic they support. It gives me hives. I love reading the “problematic” stuff they hate so! I love it! I just suck at writing it!

I didn’t write this fic because I wanted it to be “moral,” I did it because I work with people and I live in a multigenerational household and for me, escapism is sitting all alone in a quiet room in front of a screen for some time and imagining a world in which people are different from what I have to put up with all day.

On top of that, most of my anti posse seem to be teens and very young adults, and they clearly assume so am I. (Why, I have no idea.) Some day soon I’m afraid I’ll say something to give away my age and get crucified for god knows what. So I just keep walking on eggshells.

Like, I get being unhappy when you see something you hate, but if you keep fixating solely on that even when you encounter something you claim to like… then you DO have a problem and you ARE the child that needs protecting. I’m sorry that the adults in your offline life failed you so, so badly, and I wish I could help, but I can’t, and even if I could, you'd dox me if I tried.

So yeah, that’s where I am with antis. So sorry for the endless vent in your inbox, I just don’t have any anonymous space left where I could get this stuff off my chest. I honestly don’t know where those people get the energy, I’m tired just looking at them.

--

Monsterfucking tentacle porn fics, you say...

What? I was listening! I swear!

No, but for real, this is a common problem, and that kind of reader will always assume you're similar to them until they see direct evidence otherwise. I too pity them and am concerned by their obvious issues. That cannot be a fun way to go through life.

[scuttling]

Happy Accidents

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,300 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Art, Neighbor Hotch, Shy and Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, It's soo sappy I'm sorry, Oral sex, Unprotected sex Summary: Aaron's new neighbor is out of his league for so many reasons: she's young, beautiful, artistic, unique, free-spirited, the kind of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. It's no wonder he ends up falling in love with her. *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! Against all of his better judgement, Aaron is kind of creeping on his new next door neighbor.

He is absolutely the type of man, any other time, to approach a woman he’s interested in and introduce himself, look for a way to connect, some common ground, but this is no ordinary woman.

She is out of his league in so many ways: young, beautiful, unique, free-spirited, the type of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. There’s not a chance in hell she would look twice at an old, stuffy, monotone suit with a seven year old son and perpetual bags under his eyes. That’s not him feeling bad about himself, it’s just the way the world works.

The first time he saw her, she was getting on the elevator while he was getting off of it, and they’d bumped into each other; she was wearing a short, flowy dress, and she’d smiled at him, apologized, eyes sparkling, smelling like she’d spent all day in the sunshine. It was the only time since Haley he’d ever entertained the idea of love at first sight.

She keeps to herself most of the time, gives off the air of being really cool and mysterious; their paths have crossed a few times since then—at the bank of mailboxes downstairs, in the hallway they share, once during a false alarm fire alarm—but he enjoys watching her paint more than anything.

They have balconies next to each other, and one night when he was tending to his herb garden—Jack enjoys watching the plants grow, and picking the herbs, Aaron likes to eat them—he spotted her standing on hers, facing away from him, in cut off jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt, barefoot. She’d been painting the city, the sky, with the sunset glowing behind her like she was the work of art, and he actually felt an ache in his chest, the feeling of missing someone he’s never really met.

Since that night, he’s started taking his work outside in the evenings after Jack goes to bed, and sitting in near silence while she paints, hums—sometimes songs he knows, sometimes songs he doesn’t. The first time he goes out before she does, she says hello when she drags her easel out, so he starts to say hello to her when she beats him there, too, but that’s pretty much the extent of their interaction. One evening when Aaron and Jack are getting home from dinner, she is lugging a canvas bigger than she is through the hallway and Jack almost runs headfirst into it; when he looks up, he exclaims about how big it is, and pretty—it’s covered with colors, something abstract and cheerful, and even if he’d seen it on the side of the road, he would have just known that she painted it. (That may be a good indicator that he’s getting in a little too deep.)

“Wow, that’s the biggest painting I’ve ever seen! And so many colors,” Jack says, awed. Aaron puts his hands on his shoulders to keep him out of her way; they’re already bothering her enough, when she’s clearly trying to get that giant thing home.

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? I carry bigger pieces around at my studio, believe it or not,” she says to him, poking her head around the side to look at him.

“You have a studio?” His eyes are wide with interest; his favorite subject has always been art, as evidenced by their refrigerator, which is covered in drawings. She offers him an even brighter smile.

“I do! It’s not far from here; it’s called Live in Color. There’s a big rainbow painted on the side.”

“That’s so cool; it must be awesome to have your own studio.” Aaron loves that Jack seems to be so passionate about this, but the way they are obviously holding her up has him feeling awkward; he tugs gently on Jack’s backpack.

“That is really cool, bud, but we should let her go. I’m sure that’s heavy.” She smiles, shrugs.

“It’s no trouble. Hey, actually, we have some children’s art classes at the studio, and you look like you’d fit right in with the Green group—ages 7-9?” She looks up at Aaron, who nods. “Maybe we can talk dad into bringing you down sometime. We do painting, drawing, and crafts, it’s really fun.” She’s still looking right at Aaron, gives him a little wink, and he swears to god he gets butterflies in his stomach.

He’s a grown man. A federal agent. With butterflies. It’s insane.

“Oh man, dad, please? Can I take classes at her studio pleeease?” Jack tugs on the sleeve of his suit, and he nods, smiles down at him.

“Yeah, absolutely, Jack. We’ll go down and get more information tomorrow?” he offers, to both placate him and finally free the poor girl from the conversation; he nods excitedly, and she smiles, looks sweet, genuinely happy Jack is so excited to take the class.

“Cool, I look forward to seeing you guys there. Actually, if you give me one sec, I can grab my card for you.” She passes them, carrying the canvas and looking effortless while she does it; she props it up against the wall to get her keys out, unlocks her door and heads in, pops back out with a business card in a vivid watercolor yellow. “It has the address and phone number for the studio on the front, and I put my cell on the back; I figured it couldn’t hurt, considering we live next door to each other. Now you know who to call if you ever have an art emergency.”

He takes the card from her fingers, flips it over just to see the handwritten name and number; he knew her script would be lovely, and it is, easy and flowing and natural. It suits her. He tries not to grin, or flush, or otherwise be awkward about the fact that she just gave him her phone number, however innocently.

“Thank you. We’ll see you tomorrow.” They turn to head for their apartment, and she clears her throat; he smiles a little, turns back, and she’s leaning casually up against the canvas with her arms crossed.

“You know my name now. What’s yours?” She’s just being polite, but he gets the goddamn butterflies again.

“Aaron.” She smiles, something beautiful and a little wild.

“Okay, Aaron. See you outside.” From then on, most of their free time, be it evenings or weekends, is spent at the studio. Aaron isn’t the only parent who sticks around—it’s an art class, not a daycare, he doesn’t feel right just dropping Jack off and leaving him there—and he’s also not the only parent, it seems, who is aware of his beautiful young neighbor.

“She’s incredible, right?” another dad says to him one evening, over by the coffee. Aaron looks him over briefly—it’s a job hazard, he sizes up everyone, but he already has a weird feeling about this guy. “I’ve been bringing my kid here for a month just to look at that little ass running around. My wife just thinks our daughter is just really into art.” He says it with a laugh, like that’s a ridiculous concept. Aaron feels himself start to boil.

“You shouldn’t be disrespectful. She’s doing a great thing here, for the children; she’s not doing it for you to ogle her.” He feels a little hypocritical, because he is also looking, but not like this guy. He knows guys like this. He puts away guys like this.

He glances over at Aaron, looking a little taken aback that someone actually commented on his behavior, then rolls his eyes.

“She doesn’t need you to defend her honor, buddy. She wouldn’t run around here in those overalls if she didn’t want us looking. It’s job security.” She’s wearing the overalls tonight, denim shorts with one of the straps unhooked, a t-shirt underneath, but it’s not as if she’s performing a striptease. She just looks like an artist, covered in drips of paint, smiling as she looks at the kids’ pictures over their shoulders. Aaron really, really hates this guy.

“In my experience, women usually dress for themselves; they probably have pockets, easier to keep things at hand that she may need, and it’s warm in here, so she’s likely dressing for comfort. She’s certainly not dressing for you.”

As if she can sense the tension, she looks over at them, flicks her eyes over Aaron, then the other guy, and walks over with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, Aaron, Jack really wanted you to see what he’s working on.” She reaches out a hand, wraps it around his wrist and guides him over to Jack’s table. “I figured I’d save you,” she says when they’re out of earshot. “That guy sucks. He’s always saying creepy things to me and Alaina.”

“You should ask him to leave if he makes you uncomfortable,” he says, looking down at her with worry. “I can do it.” She shrugs.

“I would, but his daughter really does enjoy the class, and it’s not fair to her that her dad’s disgusting. It’s nothing we can’t handle.” She squeezes his wrist lightly. “Thanks, though. Hey Jack, show dad your project.” He peers over his shoulder, and it’s a pink and orange skyline, much like the one he saw her painting that first time on the balcony. “I asked the kids to paint my favorite thing today, and that’s sunset.”

“I saw you painting this one night,” he says, and then he feels abruptly like an idiot. She just smiles at him though, nods.

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for a beautiful sunset. It makes you feel like, just because the day ends, it doesn’t have to mean things are over; it’s just one of life’s beautiful natural transitions. And the colors are to die for: peach, coral, jasmine, rose, tiger’s eye.” He finds himself unexpectedly touched by her description, smiles softly to shake himself of the emotions.

“The way you see the world is extraordinary. To me it’s just kind of… orange.” She returns his expression, but softer, and squeezes his wrist again; he didn’t even realize she was still holding it.

“Sounds like you need some art in your heart. I give lessons for adults, too; you could even come over and paint with me on my balcony, some time. Special neighbor privileges.”

The thought of being with her on her balcony while she paints is almost overwhelming, which he finds funny, considering he currently sits no more than twenty feet away. There is an intimacy about it, while they both do their work in the cool, quiet breeze, but standing like this, close enough to touch, with the late day sun on her face while she talks about colors… he’s not sure he could handle it without falling in love.

She pats him on the back, moves on to another child, and he tells Jack what a great job he’s doing; his face is lit up, so happy, and regardless of the neighbor, he’s glad they stumbled upon this hobby.

When they pack up to leave, the jerk from earlier comes up to him, leans in to speak in a hushed voice. “You should have just told me you were fucking her. I would have backed off.” He blinks, but the guy and his daughter are walking out the door before he finds himself able to do more than that. About a week later, he goes over for that lesson almost by accident. Jack is at Jessica’s for the night at his request, and Aaron was planning to order takeout and have a paperwork cramming session, but when goes out onto the balcony, phone in hand to place an order, his neighbor is standing on hers like she’s waiting for him.

“Hey. I saw you don’t have Jack; I made some pasta with vodka sauce, if you’re hungry. I always prepare too much.” He sets his phone on the table, walks over to the railing to get a little closer.

“Uh. Sure. I have fresh basil growing here; trade?” She smiles, nods.

“Yeah, sounds delicious. I’ll be right back.” She ducks inside, returns a few moments later with two dishes of steaming, saucy pasta, sets one down on her table and gets right up against her railing, hands the other over to him across his. “That one’s for you,” she says, handing him an orange plate, and he sets it down, picks a few good looking leaves from his basil plant and tears them up, drops them on top. “And this one’s for me.” She reaches, holds a green plate over the gap between their porches, and he adds some basil to it before she pulls it back, takes a deep sniff. “God, it smells so good and fresh. Thank you, Aaron.”

“Thank you, it looks great.” He goes to sit at his table with it, but she scoots her chair closer to the railing, closer to his balcony, so he does the same. They make easy small talk while they eat, mostly about Jack, a little about her studio and his work.

“FBI, huh? I can definitely see that, with your suits, and your… neutrals.” She cringes when she says it, and it makes him laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t wear paint covered overalls to the office,” he teases, and she shoots him a playfully affronted look, grins.

“You love my paint covered overalls—and for the record, you’d look great in them. You should find a pair. Preferably not black.” He flushes a little at that, but she doesn’t notice, just finishes up her pasta with a sigh of contentment. “That was so good, thanks again for the basil.”

“You’re welcome; thanks for feeding me something other than the takeout I planned to have.” He stands up, gestures to his apartment. “I’ll wash the plate and then hand it back over.”

“Why don’t you just bring it over and come paint with me for a little while? If you want,” she tacks on, and for the first time she seems a little nervous. “I’m not trying to be pushy, I just think it would be fun.”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to; it would be amazing to watch her paint up close and personal. He’s just also afraid he’ll pass the point of no return if he does it, and he can’t handle any more heartache. He only very recently got to a place where just waking up in the morning no longer causes him agony.

It’s the look on her face, though, soft and sweet and open, that makes his decision for him.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that.” She grins.

“I’ll unlock the door.”

She’s dragging out her easel when he walks through the door; her apartment is stark white walls with vibrant furniture, artwork, canvases propped up against every bare spot along the wall, paints and brushes and charcoal and pencils on every surface. It’s exactly what he would have expected, warm and lived-in and comforting, very unlike the mostly black and gray interior of his own apartment. She smiles when she sees him.

“Hey! Can you grab that tray of paint on your way out?” she asks, and he picks up what looks kind of like an ice cube tray filled with many different colors, carries it out to the balcony with him. She has a canvas propped up, a little larger than a computer monitor, and she’s gotten started, but he can’t tell what it’s going to be just yet. When he hands her the paint she looks down at it, peers around the edge of the canvas like she’s comparing something. He’s so intrigued, curious about the way her mind works, what she’s thinking.

“What are you painting?” he asks when she picks up a brush, sets it down, picks up another. She smiles at him.

“Well, we’re painting that.” She points to the street, where there’s a rusty, pale blue antique car parked—he says that loosely, because it looks broken down—in the alley. Aaron chuckles softly.

“We’re going to paint that? It’s a little… grim.”

“Yes. It’s part of a series I just decided to create: ‘Beauty in the Ordinary.’” She sighs, and he’s surprised to see that her eyes are a little wet. She wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. “You know Bob Ross, right? Everyone knows Bob Ross.” He nods.

“Yes; the guy who paints the happy trees on PBS.”

“Right. I used to watch him growing up, and I vividly remember something he said once, about needing both darkness and light in life and in painting. ‘You have to have a little sadness once in a while to know when the good times come. I’m waiting on the good times now.’” She sniffles, exhales softly. “I’m waiting on the good times too. Sometimes looking at things like this car, and forcing myself to find something beautiful in it, is the easiest way to get through the day. Does that make sense?” He swallows hard when she looks up at him, because aside from Jack, she has been the lightest part of his life since the first time they passed each other on the elevator.

“Yeah, it really does.” She shoots him a soft, slightly sadder smile, and then explains about the paints a little, shows him the difference in the brushes, lets him feel the weight of them, the textures of the bristles.

She starts painting the car—the background is mostly finished—and he’s more than happy to watch, to hear her talk about her process. She asks if she can use his forearm to mix paints, and he turns it over, wrist up, tries not to smile too hard when she puts some dark blue on him, then white, mixing them and then comparing them to the car on the street. He looks down at her, the concentration on her face, the softness in her eyes, and is met with the sudden desire to brush a line of paint over her nose and make her laugh and kiss her breathless.

“Okay, your turn,” she says when she’s about halfway done with the car. She puts her hands on the backs of his arms, pulls him in front of the canvas so she’s between him and the railing. “You’ve been watching me, so you know what to do.” He has been watching her, but not necessarily for her technique, so he’s a little nervous; he dips the brush in the blue paint but hesitates to make a stroke. “I have faith in you, Aaron. Here.”

She wraps her fingers around his hand, guides him toward the canvas, and together they make a wide, curved line, rounding out the bumper. It doesn’t look half bad.

“It gets easier once you understand the relationship between specific paint, specific brushes, and your hands,” she says softly, and she helps him paint another line. “Are you having fun? You look stressed,” she teases, and he makes it a point to relax his face.

“I’m having a lot of fun,” he says, looking down at her; they make eye contact for a long moment, and she leans a little closer, and he leans a little closer, and then he accidentally dabs a blob of blue onto the canvas. He pulls back, grimaces, deflates. “I made a mistake. You can’t erase paint, right?” She laughs softly, takes the brush from his hand.

“No, you can’t erase paint, but as Mr. Ross would say, ‘There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.’” She gets her fingers close to the tip of the brush, makes a few quick movements, then grabs another brush, dips it in green. When she pulls back, there is a little blue flower growing out of a patch of grass where his blob used to be. He exhales, a little amazed.

“If only the mistakes we make in life were that easy to fix,” he says, and she nods.

“Yeah, that would be nice, but a lot of the time we find a way to turn them into beautiful things eventually. Are you willing to give it another shot?” He says yes, and she guides his hand for a while, then just hovers near it, then just instructs him on what to do. It’s dark before their painting is finished, and she carries it inside to dry, then takes him to the kitchen sink to scrub the paint off of his arm.

“Thanks for having me over; I had a really good time,” he murmurs as she dries his clean skin. She looks up, smiles softly, nods her head.

“I had a really good time too. I’m glad you came over; you’re welcome to join me any time.”

He says goodbye, heads home, looks at his stack of work with a groan, and brews a pot of coffee. He’s in for a long night, but he wouldn’t change his evening for anything. Life is much the same for the next few weeks: school and work, Jack’s art class at the studio a couple times a week, painting on the balcony on the weekend, with and without Jack. When Jack joins them for the first time, she pulls out a big box of markers and thick sheets of paper and he draws elaborate scenes while they talk and paint together. When Aaron makes mistakes, she’s never upset, just turns them into perfect little details that end up being his favorite parts of the paintings.

“What ever happened with your ‘Beauty in the Ordinary’ series?” he asks one evening while they’re painting some ocean waves. “Did I cause you enough trouble with the car to give up?” She looks down at the ground, looks a little shy, then shakes her head and smiles.

“No, you didn’t make me want to give up. I’ve been working on it at the studio. You’ll see it when it’s all done, I plan to hang them there.”

“Looking forward to it,” he tells her, and then Jack tugs on her shorts, shows them the picture he drew of the ocean, too.

Later that week, the team takes a case, and on the day he’s set to come home, Jessica drops Jack off at the studio with the plan that Aaron will pick him up when his flight lands. Due to some weather between where the team is and home, they get a little delayed; he doesn’t want to make Jessica head back out that way almost immediately after dropping him off, but he’s not sure who else he could ask to pick Jack up. It’s almost a stupid length of time before it dawns on him to call the studio.

“Life in Color, this is Alaina.”

“Alaina, hi, this is Jack’s dad—” He has his whole spiel prepared, but she cuts him off.

“Oh, sure, hang on a sec, she’s right here. It’s Jack’s dad,” she says, but it sounds further away, like she’s trying to cover the receiver. After a moment, his neighbor picks up.

“Aaron, hi. Jack said you were working.”

“Yeah, I was, and I’m supposed to pick him up after class, but our flight was delayed.” He doesn’t know how to ask for help with Jack; even with all the time they’ve been spending together, she still makes him a little nervous. Luckily, he doesn’t have to figure that part out on his own.

“Hey, that’s no problem. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just take him home with me. I’ll order pizza, we’ll draw, and you can just stop by when you’re home and pick him up.” He breathes a sigh of relief, runs a hand over the back of his head.

“That would be perfect. Thank you—I’ll owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Hanging out with your mini me is reward enough; he’s painting something special for you today, won’t let me see it.” That makes him smile, and he feels so warm at the prospect of picking him up from her bright apartment, seeing his artwork, her smile. After a long, draining day like this one, it’s exactly what he needs.

“I’ll have to remain in suspense until tonight, I guess. Can you let him know I said hi? And thank you, I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Of course. We’ll see you then.”

It’s late, after nine, by the time he makes it home. He doesn’t even take his bags inside, just drops them outside his door and knocks softly on hers. She answers with a smile, ushers him in, asks him if he’d like a drink and gets them each a beer.

Jack is in her room, asleep, so they have a little time to chat; she asks about his flight, his case, and he asks about the studio, and she gets a little shy when it comes to that topic, clears her throat.

“Um. I have Jack’s secret project, if you want to see it. He said I could show you.” He’s not sure why that would make her nervous—at least, until he sees it.

The background is all watercolors, a gradient of rainbow colors starting with pink at the top and ending with a soft purple at the bottom. Over that, in black marker, he’s drawn the three of them, with a big heart around them.

“Tonight’s theme was the thing that makes you the happiest, and he said he’s the happiest when the three of us are on the balcony together. It was… really, really sweet.” She looks up at him, brushes a hand over the crown of her head. “If I’m being honest, that’s when I’m the happiest, too.” He takes the picture from her hands, runs his fingers over it, and smiles, feeling a warm ache in his chest—not like before, not like losing someone he’s never really met, but like finding something he never really planned on.

“That’s when I’m the happiest, too,” he agrees, and when he looks up, she looks determined, like she does when trying to find just the right shade of paint. She takes Jack’s picture out of his hand, sets it on the counter, and then pulls him down by the lapels of his suit, kisses him long and slow. His hands move to her waist, keeping her close, and eventually she pauses for breath, looks at him again, and then wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him some more.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you—tall and dark and serious, striding out of the elevator. So intriguing, mysterious,” she breathes when they separate again. “I wanted to know everything about you.”

“Are you kidding?” he asks, huffing a laugh. “I’m boring, but you are so vibrant, so full of life; I felt like you were everything I wasn’t, and I wanted to know you so badly.”

“You know me now; would you like to keep getting to know me?” It’s one of the easiest questions he’s ever been asked; he nods, and she beams, and he lifts her into his arms and carries her to the couch, drapes himself over her while she leans back against the cushions, pulling him closer.

They make out like neither of them have a care in the world—god, how long has it been since he’s made out with someone?—her fingers scraping through his hair, his hands on her bare waist when her shirt rides up, and she’s in the process of pushing his jacket off his shoulders when they hear a sound from the other room that startles them apart. Jack.

“I’ll go check on him,” Aaron says, and when he goes into her room Jack is still snuggled up on her bed sound asleep. It looks like some canvases fell over, though, and he stoops to pick them up, then spots the car they painted together. He turns and she’s right behind him, skids to a stop. “I thought you said these were at the studio?”

“They were,” she says, and she looks nervous again. “But I changed my mind about hanging them there. They felt too personal.” He runs his hand over the car and sees where she’s coming from; this one feels personal to him, too.

“Can I see the rest?” he asks. “Only if you want to show me them.”

“You’re the only one I want to show them to,” she says with a soft smile, and she grabs a few more canvases, carries them into the light of the living room. “Beauty in the ordinary, remember.” He remembers, could never forget.

She turns one over, and it’s a kitchen sink, and in the kitchen sink is an orange plate with a fork resting on it—like the plate she’d given him with the pasta on it. She turns one over and it’s a man’s hand, holding a paintbrush, with pale blue paint on his forearm. The next one is a little herb garden on a balcony; the next one is a view from above, of a sandy haired boy with markers all around him. The last one is an open elevator—ripe with possibilities.

When he looks up at her, she’s got tears in her eyes, and one slips down her cheek.

“So, I think I’ve found my good times.” She smiles through her tears, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses the salt from her lips. “I love you,” she says when he pulls back to wipe her face with his sleeve, and he kisses her softly, again and again, and tells her he loves her, too. The next weekend, Jack is at Jessica’s for a sleepover, and Aaron has been enlisted to help with an art project. He walks next door, knocks lightly, and enters the living room; he is met with a very deep, passionate kiss and a smile, and instructions to help move the furniture out of the way.

“I’m really curious what kind of art requires this much floor space,” he says, shoving her couch back against the wall, and she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, a move he has been unable to resist since she did it the first time they had sex. She knows it’s a weakness, exploits it, and he loves every minute of it.

“You’ll see, but I promise you’re going to like it.” When they clear the floor, she grabs a large, rolled-up fabric canvas and lays it out in the middle of the room, then drops three bottles of paint—one is yellow (jasmine), one is orange (peach), and one is kind of pink (coral? He’s still not sure.)—onto it. “You can obviously say no if you want, but I wanted something over my bed with the sunset colors, and I found this…” She steps closer to him, runs her hands down his chest, guides him down for a kiss so delicious he loses his train of thought. “It’s sex art; we put the paint on the canvas, and on ourselves, and… you know, go at it. What do you think?”

He thinks he really, really loves art now, even more than he thought possible.

“So we have paint-covered sex and then you just hang it on the wall? Like regular art?”

“Yep, I got the supplies I’ll need to hang it; letting it dry will probably take the longest. I figured we could shower while it’s drying, maybe go for round two, if you’re up for it.” She moves her hand to his waist, slips it inside his shorts, and he pulls her closer to his body. “Are you up for it, Aaron?”

That is an understatement.

Undressing happens extremely fast, because this is really sexy and they’re kind of in a phase where they can’t keep their hands off of each other anyway. She pulls her hair up onto the top of her head to try to minimize the amount of paint in it, and then she pours paint on the canvas, turns around and drizzles some on his back and tells him to lay down.

“I think we should probably change positions often so we get a lot of motion on the canvas; I apologize to your old knees in advance,” she teases, but she soothes the sting of her words by pouring paint on herself and then laying between his legs and licking at his dick. “Do some stuff with your hands; I want to see those big handprints on my wall,” she murmurs, and he groans, puts his palms down in the paint and drags them through it.

She leans up a little, sliding her knees through some yellow paint, sucks him fully, deeply into her mouth for couple of minutes, and then stretches forward and puts an orange hand right in the middle of his chest; the look in her eyes is playful, and he reaches out with one finger, hooks it under her chin, and guides her off and up so they can kiss.

“Your turn,” he says with a smirk, and then he gets her onto her back and ducks between her legs, hopes she doesn’t grab for his hair like she usually does. He rubs his pointed tongue over her clit, waits for the mmm it always elicits, and looks up at her, covers each of her breasts with a paint-covered palm and squeezes. “Leave handprints for me,” he leans up and reminds her, kissing her stomach, and she plants her hands, then presses up and grabs his shoulder, smearing pink down his back. “Oh, you wanted more of that?”

“Don’t tease me, the paint will dry,” she whines, and he spreads her thighs wider with his elbows and licks her pussy quickly, until she’s squirming against the canvas and panting for more. “Come here, come here.”

He’s not ready for that, though, paint or not, wants her to come from this; he takes his hands off of her, dips them in the paint again and presses down, then puts his hands under her ass and brings her closer so he can fuck her with his tongue, quick and deep and slick.

“Aaron, Aaron, god.” She slides her hands down his arms, over his neck, digs her nails in when she comes moaning like music.

While she catches her breath, so gorgeous, she sticks her arms out like she’s making a snow angel, and he catches her while she’s off guard and turns her onto her stomach, puts his hands on the smears of paint he’s already left on her ass, and slides inside.

“Oh my god; I was trying to impress you with this sexy art project, but you’re rocking my world.” She’s breathless, pressing back into his thrusts and painting with her entire body. God, he loves her mind.

“You know I always take your projects very seriously,” he says, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, and she groans, laughs.

“Yes you do. From the side? Let’s lay diagonally.” They shift, and he hooks his chin over her shoulder, kisses her neck and huffs hot against her hair. “Hmm, love it like this,” she sighs, and she reaches back to press her hand to his hip, holding him while he moves inside her. “I love you.”

“Love you. I want you to finish on top of me,” he instructs with a wet kiss to her throat, and she nods against his lips.

“Yeah, next; I’m getting close.” A few more strokes and she gets up onto her knees, lets him lay back, propped up on his arms, and climbs on top of him; she kisses him slow and dirty and then runs her hands over him, sits back on his dick and glides up and down. “You wanna come like this too? I owe you a little world rocking,” she says with a flick of her tongue over his bottom lip, and he nods, squeezes her thigh.

“It’s the least you can do after making me move all the heavy furniture.” She rolls her eyes but kisses his chin, down his throat, and bounces harder on him, all delicious eye contact and moans. “Mmm. Just like that, baby, come for me.”

“Fuck. I will, I will.” She wraps a hand around the back of his neck, kisses him kind of rough and with lots of tongue, and then tips her head back and climaxes, clenches, wrings his orgasm out of him so quickly it’s almost jarring. “Oh, yes Aaron. So good,” she mumbles, and then he lays back, out of breath, and she slides out of his lap and lays beside him, out of breath too.

After a moment, she looks over at him, smiles, and swipes a pink fingertip over his cheek.

“This is the hottest thing I’ve ever done with anyone. I’m glad I got to do it with you.” He rolls on top of her, presses a kiss to her nose, and nods.

“Me too. You know,” he adds after a moment, “my bedroom could use some artwork, too.” She grins, wraps her arms around him and squeezes tight.

“You’re right; I think we should do yours in blue: liberty, that’s dark blue; periwinkle, that’s light blue; maybe steel gray, too.”

“You’re the expert. I’m just your paintbrush.” Her hands smooth up his back, and contentment washes over him like a warm breeze.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that. Want to get cleaned up?”

Cleaning up is almost as fun as making the mess, because they’re well and truly covered, and when the canvas dries, the sunset colors are almost as beautiful as the ones she used the first time he ever saw her paint. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #anon #prompt

[kurohoely]

hello !! r ur request open ? if yes can u make the sakusa Drabble abt being better with u etc but like a angst to fluff scenario with reader ?

feel free to ignore , stay hydrated and eat something if u haven’t already !

a/n: hi bb! so sorry it took me a while to get to the request. i was away for a whole month and i wrote this on a whim so hope you like it :D take care okay!! i did this on how I understand it <3

tw none

better, together (sakusa drabble)

How did you ended up with a tall beanpole that is absolutely disgusted with human civilization but could almost cried because the bee couldnt get to its flower behind closed doors? It wasnt all sunshine and rainbows, obviously. You had a fair share of being the receiving end of his spite, unintentionally of course due to his habits. Still, it wasnt nice. He forgot how to spell your name, messes up your groceries because he thought certain items were unnecessary, sharp comments about enjoying life with constantly treating yourself. For him, it was pure, genuine mistakes and being truthful out loud, sparing you the sugarcoated lies. He forgot that being in a relationship means that he is cradling a fragile being that can break to the most mundane thing. “why are you making a big deal out of this” “why does it matter” “this is bad for you” “cant you think a bit further” to name a few. not until one day, you chose to have some space, rethinking if continuing this relationship is worth it or not. not until that moment, sakusa realized how fucked up he has been treating you. of course, this was covered with a lot of opening up and tears, and both of you made up but it lingers with sakusa more than you think. he started to finally use his observation skills in his life outside volleyball and god how can he be so stupid. y/n did this flawlessly but this actually hard hard, he thinks to himself. it became more apparent when his most bare minimum touched you until you were a weeping mess. the rocky waves of a relationship crept early, sure, but now you are experiencing the calmest waters. not only he can fill up forms for you and even throw a surprise private birthday party with only the two of you, its when he started to view the world with more empathy, understanding how differences really make the world such a vibrant spectrum of opinions and reality. he knows meaning behind some flowers, for him to see how each beauty come with its own story. he can now remind himself how on every interaction he has with another human being, they are human too that have their own struggles, bad days and also strengths. he sees the world in a light that is not tainted by disgust but a space to roam freely and safely when you are beside him. “y/n thank you for staying with me. i feel like theres an invisible burden that you took off from me but thats a conversation for another day” “omi!” as you throw a pillow to him. yes, you may date a tall beanpole that was disgusted by human civilization but now, it is safe to say he can tolerate with atsumu for 10 minutes now.

#i almost cried writing this hello? #why he is SO precious #sakusa in my mind is a softie #softie sakusa #its 2:30 in the morning #haikyuu fluff #kiyoomi sakusa #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu drabbles #msby sakusa #sakusa x yn #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #sakusa x reader #jel.reqs #jel.tulis

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

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