#this was my comfort au... my coping mechanism in these crazy times...

[spookyserenades]

Trouvaille - Chapter Twelve

Pairing(s); BTS OT7 x Reader

Genre/Themes; Hybrid!AU, themes of the supernatural and the occult, religious themes, violence, hurt/comfort, horror, romance

Rated; 18+ for swearing, violence/gore, future sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Word Count; 16.6k

Trouvaille Masterlist

Trouvaille playlist

Updates on the 7th of each month

Hi babes!! Welcome to the latest update (a crazy one!!) Lot's going on in this chapter, including a boatload of angst, a bit of fluff, some ~spice~, and lots of emotions. It is a pretty Yoongi-heavy chapter (nice) so for all my Yoongi stans-- this one is for you! I hope you all enjoy this update, and let me know what you think if you'd like, and I'm sending you all my love 💕

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Yoongi leaned against the grimy plaster that made up the back hallway of The Black Lodge, trying not to grimace as he felt the silky material of his button-down sticking to the years of smoke residue and alcohol fumes. The air was thick with wispy clouds of cigar and cigarette smoke, as it always was, and the strange, dark energy of the bar was still ever-present; but Yoongi wasn’t entirely focused on that, for once. 

He could really use a cigarette, himself. Yoongi quit smoking around the time his mother passed away– no, don’t think about it. Using his pointed incisors, he bit down on his lower lip enough to draw blood, the piercing pain chasing any thoughts of his mother from his mind, a coping mechanism he’d picked up over the past year. Refusing to cut his hair, abstaining from composing, gnawing his lips into shreds; anything to distract, or perhaps to punish, to forget. 

Time marched on, unfortunately. Mourning in an already mournful place was useless and made him feel like he was drowning in a pit of molten tar. Even clinging to hope, that one day he’d be able to manage breaking free and finding somewhere else to live, the hope grew dimmer by the day. 

The frown on the leopard hybrid’s face deepened as the sound of someone retching in the men’s bathroom he was standing across from reached his sensitive ears. Sometimes, he wished he could stick pencils in the spotted appendages– he’d take normal, dim human hearing from his other set over some of the shit he had managed to overhear with hybrid ears during his nearly 28 years of life. Absently, he reached up to fiddle with one of the earrings dangling from his lobe– the silver, pointed shape of a feathered wing gliding between the pads of his forefinger and thumb. 

His frown turned into the faintest ghost of a smile, that vicious and searing sensation of growing hope knocking the wind out of him as he caught the scent of jasmine– mingling with sharp botanicals, a saccharine underlying sweetness, and something uniquely human. He straightened up immediately, the door of the women’s bathroom creaking open and a great gust of that delicious scent smacking him square in the face. 

“I-? I what?” Y/N squeaked, not only unable to recover from the tender kisses Yoongi had showered over her wrist and hand, but the words that had come out of his mouth immediately after he pulled away from her slightly. “Y-yoongi. We kissed? I asked you to kiss me?”

Yoongi was now rather quiet, slowly moving away from her and staring out his window, his face somewhat closed off now that he had revealed what Y/N knew he was leaving out of the whole story of their first meeting. His tail was curling around his own waist mindlessly, and Y/N was cold and reeling with the absence of his body heat that was once accelerating her heartbeat into a gallop. 

It seemed that Yoongi was giving Y/N a few moments to process everything he confessed, a poorly-constructed imaginary wall in between them as she babbled nonsensically. 

“I’m? I don’t even know what to say. I never get that drunk, enough to ask for a kiss from a total stranger,” Y/N blurted out something that actually made sense after a few moments of stuttering, however, the statement that left her lips had Yoongi hissing and a flash of hurt sparking up his feline hazel gaze. Abruptly, Y/N wished she could collect her words from the air and stuff them back into her mouth. “I’m so, so sorry, Yoongi… I shouldn’t have forced you into a corner like that.”

Yoongi was astonished, his tail beginning to flick back and forth so sharply Y/N knew that he was very agitated. Deciding to shut up before she offended the leopard hybrid any more than she clearly already had, Y/N began to approach Yoongi at snail’s pace to prevent him from flinching away. 

“When did I say that you had forced me into a corner, Y/N? Are you serious right now?” Yoongi used her name for the first time in what felt like months, taking her off guard and making her swallow thickly. His voice was soft, but had a deadly edge to it, and the way his jaw was clenched had shivers rolling down her spine– Yoongi actually looked like the predatory leopard he was. 

“I was just saying, um, like I feel bad that I threw myself at you like that,” Y/N wished she could rewind time and relive the tender moment they had right before the bombshell was dropped, but that tenderness seemed to be leagues out of her grasp. 

“You did nothing of the sort. I told you, we talked for almost two hours. We were hardly strangers by the time I kissed you, by the way,” Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Y/N with a dangerous look in his eyes. It made Y/N want to back up and shrivel beneath his gaze, but she knew that Yoongi would never hurt her, so she stood her ground, albeit shakily. “I liked you, Y/N. I wanted to kiss you.”

“L-liked?” Y/N couldn’t help but emphasize the end of the word, the past tense, where Yoongi had implied that his affection for her had disappeared over the course of the year. 

After all, she made him wait, got his hopes up, and was now implying herself that he was nothing but a drunken mistake. Heart plummeting into her stomach, she watched Yoongi’s nose twitch, likely picking up on her anxiety and rising stress levels, the stoniness of his features loosening up a tad. The air was charged, tense, and Y/N wasn’t sure who would cut it first, and where the complicated conversation was going. 

“Y/N–” Yoongi took a step forward, his hand raised as if to place it on her cheek, before the sound of his bedroom door being blasted open cut him off with a surprised grunt, blood draining from his face. 

“HEY, YOONGI. WHAT TIME IS DINNER?” Hoseok jogged into the room shouting, loud rap music coming out of the earpods he was wearing, his breathing labored. 

The fox hybrid must have just come back from a run, and nothing on his face indicating he had a flying fucking clue what Y/N and Yoongi were talking about– he didn’t even seem to notice the tension swirling around the room, Y/N’s stricken expression, or the fact that she was just standing in the middle of Yoongi’s bedroom. Urgently, Yoongi put space between her and himself, dropping back into his composed attitude, like nothing had occurred at all. 

Ambling forward calmly, Yoongi yanked one of Hoseok’s earpods out, Hoseok grinning at him cheekily and switching off the music on his phone. Still standing in the center of the room motionless, Y/N gawked at Yoongi’s flawless attempt to appear normal and nonchalant. 

“Foxy, you trying to blow out your eardrums?” Yoongi grumbled, frowning deeply when Hoseok plopped down on the leopard hybrid’s bed. “Dude, you’re fucking soaked. Get off my bed.”

Hoseok did nothing of the sort, simply repeating his question about dinner, flicking his sweaty bangs off of his forehead with a smirk and leaning back on Yoongi’s cushy beige comforter smugly. 

“I don’t know when dinner will be ready. I was going to make something carb-heavy because I have a game tomorrow night. There’s pasta dough in the fridge…” Yoongi began tying up his hair with a purple scrunchie Y/N had got for him at work, the sight of him both using it and the fact that he didn’t let her put up his hair for the first time in weeks, making her chest squeeze in pain. “Can you help roll out the pasta for the machine, Foxy? I think Y/N mentioned she wanted to shower before dinner, which honestly you should be doing instead of perspiring all over my bed.”

Y/N hadn’t mentioned taking a shower before dinner at all, and she didn’t know if Yoongi wanted space from her and didn’t want to come out and say it, but the lie stung nonetheless. 

“Ah, I’ll shower before bed. Especially if I’m going to be covered in sweat and flour,” Hoseok heaved himself off of Yoongi’s bed, following Yoongi to the door and out into the hall. 

Willing her legs to move, Y/N felt her throat grow thick, confused and left out in the cold. Swiftly, she made her way into her bedroom once she was confident Hoseok and Yoongi were in the kitchen, hastily getting right into the shower so she could put off a crying session. Having red eyes and a swollen face at dinner wasn’t appealing to her, and would attract way too many questions. 

There was a lot for her to think about surrounding the state of her and Yoongi’s relationship now, but Y/N knew if she dwelled on it for too long, her attempt to keep tears at bay would be spoiled. She would give anything to pull the memory of her night at The Black Lodge with Yoongi out of the deep corners of her mind; to relive it, to understand her thought process and how her brain absorbed it. Her body felt weakened after the intensity of what she had learned, head pounding and legs like jelly, and she wasn’t sure if she could make it through dinner acting like everything was okay when she really just wanted to burrow into her bed for the next three weeks. 

Y/N took her sweet time massaging her jasmine lotion into her skin, selecting a warm set of pajamas, and even tidying up some clutter around her room to make sure she was only in the kitchen long enough to choke down some food before she could pull her cozy quilt over her head and sleep away all of her confusing thoughts. It would be damn near impossible for her to get out of the nightly movie routine she had created with all of the boys, and it was her turn to pick out the movie that night as well, but perhaps she could act like she was too exhausted to stay up past dinner. 

Taking Yoongi to his game the following day ought to be awkward. It wasn’t like they could exactly continue their conversation– the rest of the hybrids were going to tag along, so they could grab some dinner afterwards and have a nice Saturday night out on the town. In reality, she wasn’t sure she’d get more one-on-one time with Yoongi until their next piano lesson, if he kept dragging other hybrids into helping him with meals rather than her. 

Slapping moisturizer onto her face, Y/N stared at herself in the old silver mirror hanging over her sink vanity, miraculously appearing pretty normal despite the pure bewilderment she was still experiencing. There was barely detectable puffiness around her lash lines, probably from the effort of holding back frustrated tears in the shower, and she was fairly positive no one would even notice– that is, unless Taehyung got close up to her face, which was always a frequent occurrence. 

 Hoseok 🦊: dinner’s ready, darling~~~

Y/N’s phone chimed, a message and photo coming in from Hoseok. He sent her a selfie, flour dusted across his nose, holding up a plate of fettuccine alfredo, with broccoli and chicken, from the looks of it. Immediately, she saved the picture and added it as his contact photo, loving the little grin on his face– it replaced the former incredibly attractive photo of him post-track meet sweaty and smirking at the camera. Brightening upon seeing Hoseok’s good-natured, radiant smile, Y/N felt a whole lot better about heading out into the kitchen. Whatever was going on between her and Yoongi would eventually be sorted out and addressed, but it wasn’t fair to the others for her to hole up in her room and ignore their nightly routines.

Exiting her room, she headed straight to Namjoon’s half-open door, the crackly sound of his Walkman playing an old Bob Dylan tape filling his cozy space. The room was filled with lamplight, and Namjoon even had a stick of amber incense going on his desk, and she felt immense comfort in even just hanging out in the threshold of his door. However, the wolf hybrid wasn’t in either of his usual spots– the wooden desk chair or the cushy window seat. 

“Joonie?” Y/N called out softly, wondering if he had popped out to his van to retrieve a book or something. 

In response to the sound of his nickname being called, the door to Namjoon’s bathroom creaked open, a mumbled ‘hold on’ coming from him gruffly. Y/N took it upon herself to enter his room further; ever since his birthday, Namjoon really didn’t have a problem with her in his space, and often invited her into his room when he wanted her opinion on something. Typically, it was over a Tarot card meaning or her thoughts on a passage in a book he was reading; Y/N thought it was really sweet of him, and besides– she loved talking to Namjoon, he was insightful and overwhelmingly intelligent. 

Finally, the wolf hybrid emerged from his steamy bathroom, silvery hair towel-dried and ears similarly damp. It looked like he haphazardly threw on a wrinkly gray sleep shirt and sweatpants, Y/N realizing she must have caught him just out of the shower. The reality of that had her stomach flipping over, sheepishly cowering by his desk as he tossed his towel into the hamper and turned the volume down on his Walkman. 

“Is that tape one of the ones you got from the music store last time?” Y/N tried not to snort at the reediness of Bob Dylan’s croon, Namjoon meeting her at his desk and stubbing out the burning stick of incense. “I thought you only saved the ones that weren’t grating,” Y/N recalled Namjoon’s comment from that day, which seemed years ago, with a fond, teasing smile. 

Namjoon shook his head with a playful grimace, catching her gaze out of the corner of his eyes. He smelled really good, homey and masculine, and he was close enough for Y/N to try and pick out the top notes of his body wash: honey, musk, pine?

“Believe me. Dylan was one of the least grating of the bunch,” Namjoon responded, a dimple appearing on his cheek as the corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk. “Besides. ‘Visions Of Johanna’ is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Lyrically speaking.”

“I’ll make sure to give it a listen, if that’s what you think,” Y/N automatically responded, already adding the song to a queue on her phone. Lately, she’d been getting really fantastic music recommendations from each hybrid, which was a lovely thing to share with them. It allowed her a tiny window into all of their different, complex personalities. “Dinner’s ready, by the way. Wanted to grab you before I headed to the kitchen.”

“I know. Yoongi texted all of us,” Namjoon reached down to ruffle Y/N’s hair, as if she was being silly for even telling him. 

“Oh, really?” Y/N squeaked quietly, following Namjoon around his bedroom like a lost puppy. He was tidying up, something Y/N noticed he tended to do before bed (otherwise, he’d be sleeping with encyclopedias and chess pieces). “Hoseok texted me…”

“Yeah, in the group chat,” Namjoon murmured distractedly, not minding that Y/N was hovering behind him like a phantom while he stacked loose pieces of parchment onto his nightstand, her eyebrows furrowing. “That’s usually how Yoongi lets us know food is ready.”

Y/N didn’t know how to respond. Apparently, all the hybrids had a group chat between one another, one that didn’t include her, and she didn’t quite know how to feel about that. She wasn’t even sure if Namjoon realized that he had revealed a secret– perhaps it wasn’t and she was just unobservant– but he sensed something was up when she was quiet, looking over his shoulder inquisitively. 

“What’s the matter? You look like I just stole candy from you,” Namjoon accused, though his eyes were soft and filled with concern. “Your eyes are a little puffy, too, have you been crying? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Namjoon, I’m okay. Just tired, is all,” Y/N didn’t even care if Namjoon could sniff out her lie, considering everything she had gone through that day. She didn’t have a shred of energy left to try and hide her emotions from her hybrids, and Namjoon usually wasn’t one to pry, so she prayed he’d take the hint. “Let’s go eat, okay?”

Before she could get too far, Namjoon caught a hold of her shoulders, two large palms settling over the joints and spinning her around so he could get a good look at her face. She was shaking, slightly, under his strong grip, eager to escape the scrutiny of those penetrating eyes of his. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but don’t lie to me. If you’re upset, at least don’t try to cover it all up,” Namjoon said firmly, leveling a stern look her way. 

“Joon, please…” Y/N used her hands to ease his off of her, resigned. “It’s nothing, just some stress. I’ll be fine after I get some sleep tonight.”

Namjoon looked unconvinced, some unknown emotion flashing through his eyes, Y/N squeezing his hands before releasing them. She swore she could hear low growling coming from deep within his chest, but he composed himself and lightly cleared his throat, jerking his head towards the hallway. 

“Okay, I’ll drop it,” Namjoon began heading out to the foyer, Y/N close behind. “Maybe you should read a book before bed to relax and get some good sleep. You’re really tense, I felt it in your shoulders. Have Yoongi make you some tea, too.”

Jolting at the mention of the very hybrid causing her rise in blood pressure, Y/N made a noncommittal noise. On the other hand, Namjoon’s kind consideration and concern for her well-being had butterflies coasting in her stomach. 

“You’re sweet, Joonie,” Y/N murmured, mirroring his earlier action by reaching up high to ruffle his still-damp starlight hair. “Pick out a book for me, please?”

Though he was in front of her leading the way to the kitchen, Y/N could see the very tips of his human ears turn red as he grunted out an embarrassed ‘okay’. Namjoon, she found out, was more of a softie than she originally understood. Besides, he always picked out excellent books she’s never read before, which was a bonus. 

The kitchen was warm and thick with the smell of roasted chicken and buttery, cheesy pasta, Y/N’s mouth watering against her will. Spite started to well up inside of her, surpassing her confusion and melancholy, and she desperately prayed to the sky that somehow Yoongi had screwed up the seasoning so she would have an excuse to not enjoy his food. Following Namjoon with a swish of his silvery tail, Y/N begrudgingly slunk further into the room. 

She caught sight of Taehyung first, seated at the breakfast nook by himself, adjusting settings on the camera strapped around his neck. His hair was wild and curly like he just washed it, a vibrant multicolored, vintage-looking sweater slipping over his wrists giving him sweater paws. Cooing, Y/N made a beeline for the Kodiak hybrid– trying with all her might to appear as unaffected as Yoongi took garlic bread out of the oven and shot the breeze with Jimin about the cold weather. Taehyung was a more than wonderful distraction.

“Hi, Tae,” Y/N scooched into the booth, having no trouble cozying up to his furnacelike side, his chest rumbling as he instinctively used one of his arms to hook around her shoulders and pull her closer. “Working on something for the next expo? It’s a week before Christmas, right?”

Smiling with his mouth closed, Taehyung let Y/N wiggle closer into his warmth, wordlessly passing his camera over and resting his nose in her hair as she took it gingerly. Being pressed up so closely against him, Y/N could feel his chest expand with the deep inhale he took, Y/N so used to him and Jimin taking a whiff of her hair daily that it didn’t even register as odd to her anymore. Turning on the camera’s display, Y/N flicked through a couple of Taehyung’s latest works, his editing more streamlined than ever before and each shot more creative than the next. The subjects were images of nature, primarily the backyard and around the neighborhood, but taken from unique angles and using natural light in interesting ways. 

“You’re getting so good at this, Tae. Pretty soon, you’ll have people asking to take wedding pictures for them!” Y/N passed his camera back to him, resisting the urge to totally curl into him or climb into his lap. He was just too cuddly. 

“Thank you,” Taehyung now offered her his toothy smile, wide and showing just how beautiful it made his face, conveying joy contrary to his ever-so-quiet voice. “I still need to work on taking portraits. That’s the assignment for next week…”

“Well it’s fortunate that you live with seven other people to practice on, huh?” Y/N teased, loving the flush that dusted his cheeks and tip of his nose. 

Their moment was interrupted by a black shadow, Y/N somewhat peeling herself off of Taehyung a tad to look up. It wasn’t a black shadow at all, however, it was just Jeongguk– dressed all in black, naturally, and with an enormous bowl of pasta and chicken in his hands. 

“How was your day, Jeongguk? The Tarantino movies you guys were watching… which one was your favorite?” Y/N reached across the table to poke the top of his hand with each word she was speaking to capture his attention, knowing that doing so usually irritated him enough to answer her questions. Since Halloween, though, he’d been much less easily perturbed, and usually regarded her attempts to agitate with amused midnight-black eyes. 

“Kill Bill. The first one, not the second. Pulp Fiction was good, but didn’t live up to all of that bullshit hype college kids drone on and on about,” Jeongguk playfully slapped her hand away from him so he could pick up a fork and start eating, a tiny wry grin pulling up the corners of his mouth. 

“I don’t think I really liked any of them,” a new voice joined the conversation, Seokjin filling up the last empty space in the booth beside Y/N, miraculously balancing three bowls of pasta on his forearm to deliver to Y/N and Taehyung. “Gory, lots of swearing and violence.”

“Grow some balls, Pink Panther,” Jeongguk rolled his eyes, Y/N finding it extremely difficult not to laugh– he was quick on his feet to come up with that nickname, since Seokjin was wearing his favorite ballet-pink hoodie. “Why am I surprised? You could barely make it through an episode of Tokyo Ghoul, and that’s fuckin’ animated blood.”

“Oh, leave him be, Jeongguk. Action or gore isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s totally okay,” Y/N emphasized her point by using her slipper-clad foot to collide lightly with his shin under the booth, a free hand coming up to smooth over Seokjin’s back affectionately. “Also, it’s hard to take you seriously when you’re talking over a mouthful of half-chewed chicken.”

There was Seokjin’s squeaky-sounding laugh coming from her right, Jeongguk rolling his eyes again, taking a swig of whatever cocktail he had made for himself. Looking down at the food Yoongi made and Seokjin had brought to her, she felt her stomach turning. While it looked and smelled delicious, she didn’t want to give Yoongi the satisfaction of horking the whole plate down right away. Instead, she watched everyone in the booth tuck in promptly, Y/N glowering at her slab of garlic bread with feigned disinterest. 

“Not hungry?” Taehyung’s voice was in her ear, as always, low and indulgently rich. Concern lit up his eyes, his fork and knife paused mid-air as he studied the side of her face, even giving an animalistic sniff in her direction. 

“I had a big lunch,” Y/N admitted, even though that was a bit of a lie. She had been so nervous about her piano lesson with Yoongi earlier in the day, all she could choke down at lunchtime was a handful of baby carrots and hummus. 

Taehyung lifted a brow, definitely not buying the lie, but let it go without a word, mercifully. Y/N discovered that keeping her emotions under wraps from everybody while thoughts of Yoongi swirled around in her head constantly was more challenging than anything she had dealt with before. 

Yoongi’s words kept echoing like a pagan chant in her ears: ‘I know how you feel. About us, all of us’. Was Yoongi that keen, already able to intimately decipher her emotions and feelings through scent alone, or was she painfully obvious about her embarrassingly large crushes on each hybrid she adopted? Flames licked her cheeks, and she afforded a look past Seokjin’s wide shoulders to Yoongi sitting beside Jimin at the island, his back to her. Even now, Y/N could detect a whisper of tension threading through the lean muscles of his back through his shirt, and though she was puzzled– at best– by everything that went down between them in the last few hours, she was pleased to see how much he had filled out with muscle between consistent meals and his basketball practices. 

Sighing lightly, Y/N picked her way through her meal once tearing her eyes from Yoongi, not wanting to attract more attention by not eating dinner. Besides, her stomach was beginning to make embarrassing rumbling sounds, earning an annoyed side-eye from Namjoon across the room, pointedly using the tip of his nose to gesture towards her untouched plate. She resisted the split-second impulse to stick her tongue out at him, reconsidering upon remembering how intimidating Namjoon could be when teased. 

Throughout dinner, Y/N distracted herself from her thoughts and the lack of typical banter she’d have with Yoongi by cozying up to Seokjin and Taehyung; asking them about their preferences for birthday meals during fast-approaching December. Jeongguk asked her if she happened to celebrate Christmas– she replied yes; while her and her mother celebrated the pagan holiday of Yule, her father was more of a traditionalist and loved Christmas. 

“Yule lasts several days, and is made up of just some quiet rituals and whatnot– burning a Yule log, for example. But my dad adores all of the fun traditions of Christmas he had growing up, so he wanted to share that with me, too. We’d deck out the house in all of the lights, bake a thousand Christmas cookies, go out every year to pick out a tree… watch holiday movies in corny matching pajamas. My mom called it ‘Commercial Christmas’, but it was always really fun, and she was just poking fun at how silly my dad can get with it,” Y/N explained to the elk hybrid, him nodding along to her words while pushing broccoli around on his plate. “Oh! And there’s a Holiday Market in the city, too, if you guys are interested in checking that out next month. Food, decorations, music, all of that.”

It dawned on Y/N that her hybrids had likely never celebrated Christmas in the way she had in her youth. She had similar thoughts before, based on each of their strange, varied behaviors during the last three birthdays and Halloween, as well. It had her lower lip jutting out slightly, and she knew that perhaps the reason she worked so hard to make these events extra special in the past few months was because she was making up for their lost years of merriment and celebration of milestones. 

Dwelling on that, she totally zoned out at the breakfast nook, only coming to when Seokjin collected her near-empty plate from her, snapping back to reality when he stood and her hand slipped from the middle of his back, where she was absently rubbing circles into the cozy material of his hoodie. All the jaguar hybrid did was flash her a sweet smile, bringing the dishes to the sink with a purr. 

Shaking off her nerves, Y/N also rose from her seat, taking Taehyung with her so she’d have an excuse to cling to someone (and avoid Yoongi), by pulling him by the loose sleeve of his sweater, the Kodiak hybrid happily being hauled away from his camera and half-drunk glass of wine. Taehyung was one of the hybrids that didn’t drink as much as the others, or even Y/N herself, so sometimes a half of a glass of wine was all he needed for a pretty flush to color his cheeks and his tongue to loosen. 

“What are we watching tonight, Y/N? Nothing scary, I pray?” Y/N managed to scoop Jimin up in her grasp, as well, his expression filled with trepidation as she sandwiched herself between the two hybrids and dragged them into the parlor. 

The fire was roaring, and Taehyung broke free from her hold on his sweater to add another log to the tall flames in the fireplace– he was very serious about keeping it going strong until everyone headed off to bed, like it was an unspoken household duty he felt responsible for completely. Thankfully, he was quick to return to her, eager to claim one of the spots on either of her sides before anyone else could. As Ben had joked about over the phone with her, the hybrids did almost claw at each other in order to get a seat next to her on the couch, even Jeongguk, at that point. With Jimin and Taehyung being the ‘lucky’ ones that night, Y/N didn’t have to worry about sitting awkwardly inches away from Yoongi. 

“No, sweet pea, nothing scary. Just for you and Hoseok, though… on second thought, Seokjinnie, too. I’ll save the horror marathons for another time. I was thinking we could watch something funny?” 

Jimin’s shoulders relaxed downwards several inches, and his ears perked back up to their natural position as he handed her the remote, soothed that she wasn’t about to repeat her surprise showing of Suspiria from last month. Hoseok had to leave the room during the last few scenes of that one, in fact. 

Y/N scrolled through the options in her digital library, avoiding romcoms at all costs, landing on some random comedy with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. She needed something mindless, something that required not much critical thinking, so she could forget about the tangled cobwebs clogging up the cavity that once held her brain. 

The room slowly filled up with the rest of the hybrids, Hoseok tossing wrapped Klondike bars to everyone, Jeongguk taking up the recliner; Namjoon took his usual seat at Y/N’s feet, while Seokjin and Yoongi ended up sitting on the floor next to the couch. Yoongi minded his business, not even sending Y/N a glance as he sank to the floor with his glass of wine. Seokjin didn’t seem pleased that he was so far from Y/N, but knew that her rotating who she sat next to was in an effort to be fair– and he respected that. 

“I know how you feel. About us, all of us.”

“Ben, can you just listen before you say ‘I told you so’?” Y/N stirred cream into her coffee, her lower eyelid twitching when she tasted the concoction on her tongue. Somehow, ever since Yoongi started making her coffee for her each morning, she couldn’t seem to make her favorite ratio quite as precise as he did– even though she had been making it perfectly fine years before he took up the task for her. “I’ll let you say it all you want after I get some of this off my chest.”

Saturday morning, Y/N met up with Ben in the city at their favorite brunch spot on Newbury street, leaving all of her hybrids at home for a lazy morning by themselves. It was rare these days that she’d carve out time to go out with her human friends without at least one of the boys tagging along with her, but miraculously, she was able to break free for a few hours to catch up– or vent– with Ben. Ben cocked an eyebrow at her, taking a measured sip of his mimosa.

“I can do that, but first–” Ben reached into his briefcase, rummaging around within the depths of the leather bag, boldly pulling out a nip of Kahlua and swiftly dumping it into Y/N’s coffee. “You look like you’re one inconvenience away from a nervous breakdown. Happy Saturday, have a drink.”

“Thanks,” Y/N grimaced, sucking down the entirety of the scalding, now spiked, coffee in one go, Ben waving his hand as if to say ‘don’t mention it’. “Christ, I don’t even know where to start…”

Y/N had spent the night tossing and turning, even after the stupid movie she watched with the hybrids and a few shots of gin, waking up with dark circles under her eyes and two hours of sleep under her belt. In those two hours, she had dreams of red curtains, whiskey-scented whispers, piano, and hazel, feline eyes. 

“I think I have an idea of where this is going,” Ben broke the ice after several moments, once the waiter came by to take their brunch orders and bring another round of drinks. This time, Y/N got herself a mimosa, too. “Let me guess. You fell for one of them.”

Y/N felt her stomach drop, the Kahlua, coffee, and champagne churning in her gut as Ben stared at her expectantly. Ben was always quick to pick up on how Y/N felt, particularly when it had to do with her romantic life, but it wasn’t like she was around him enough these days for him to observe her around all of her hybrids… fell for one? She had to laugh, and the sound came out snorted and pathetic. 

“Oh, it’s worse than I thought. More than one? Taking cues from those reverse-harem animes you used to love in high school, huh?” Ben pressed, his nose scrunching up upon hearing the braying donkey laugh Y/N was trying to cover up by chugging her mimosa, a swig of it going down her windpipe. 

“Nnn–ugh! Fuck me, Ben. Lower your voice,” Y/N coughed into her cloth napkin, frantically glancing around the restaurant as if she was being surveilled.

“Relax, Y/N, they’re not even here. They can’t hear you all the way from the Haunted Mansion, even with hybrid ears. Get on with it, spill. You’ll feel better,” Ben pushed a hand through his coiffed red hair, sucking his teeth as he assessed Y/N’s frazzled appearance and erratic behavior. She must have looked like a nutcase. 

“I… Stop looking at me like that! If you’re so smart, you must have pieced together everything already, so why bother?” Y/N accused, but when Ben simply hardened his cerulean gaze, Y/N knew that he was encouraging her to talk through her feelings rather than squirreling them away until she exploded. “Fine. Yeah, okay. I have a crush on them, all of them, as a matter of fact, if that’s even humanly possible… and I know what you’re thinking, I’m batshit, I’m gross, and I’ve put myself in a horrible scenario.”

“Y/N, will you just take a breath, please? We’ve been friends for over a decade. Nothing you say to me is going to scare me off or make me ‘shame’ you Cersei-Game-of-Thrones-style. So, you’re attracted to all seven of them? I mean seriously, Y/N, I can’t blame you, and if you called Laura or Alice, they wouldn’t either. They’re all gorgeous,” Ben leaned back in his seat, both seriousness and amusement dancing across his features. 

Y/N wrestled the champagne bottle resting in the tableside bucket of ice up and out of the shards, pouring herself another glass and completely ignoring the orange juice pitcher nearby that would make her mimosa, well, a mimosa. 

“You know, Y/N… humans and hybrids can be in romantic relationships, and before you fly off of the handle, let me finish! Listen, I know, you know, and your hybrids know that you didn’t adopt them to use-and-abuse, obviously. You’ve always been a romantic, Y/N, it’s not like you can control how you feel, especially when it comes to love.”

Processing this, Y/N gawked at Ben, suddenly unable to come up with any kind of retort. Their waiter came by with their food, and the smell of Y/N’s French toast made her utterly nauseous as soon as it was placed in front of her. Grimacing, she pushed the plate to the side, Ben smirking over a bite of crispy bacon. 

“Love…” Y/N squeaked, the four-letter-word wheezing from her chest painfully, Ben having the nerve to roll his eyes. 

“You do love them, don’t you? Besides the fact that it's obvious to me, as your wonderful best friend, when you fall, you fall hard,” Ben nudged Y/N’s plate back in front of her, sticking a fork in her hand with mischief in his eyes. “It’s a different kind of love– but I love Daisy, she’s my daughter, and I can’t imagine my life without her anymore. That must be similar to how you feel, no?” 

For at least a month, Y/N kept herself in blissful, complete denial, trying to squash down her feelings as best she could in an effort to keep them from the hybrids. She didn’t know if she was fooling them, because she definitely wasn’t fooling Ben, who looked like he was trying to refrain from laughing. The more she thought about her recent behavior; stuttering, blushing, heart racing, constant cuddling, the more stupid she felt. 

“God, I’m a moron,” Y/N stuffed a piece of French toast into her dried-out mouth, the consistency like glue as she chewed. “They probably already know and are just too nice to reject me. Or they’re scared to.”

Ben didn’t say anything, just letting Y/N come to terms with the startling realization: she loved them. Seven different men, she was in love with seven, and the gravity of that realization was driving her to silent lunacy.

“Whatever scenario you’re coming up with in your head, stop it, you’ll start panicking,” Ben reached across the table to grasp Y/N’s hand lightly, his thumb smoothing over the back of it. “It’s kind of a scary, tricky… uh, delicate, subject, but how would you feel about maybe just talking to them about it instead of bottling things up? Even at the cookout in August, I could tell most of them cared about you quite deeply.”

“Can you imagine that conversation, Ben? ‘Hey guys, I know we’re in the middle of dinner and it’s not like you can get away from me after this, but I accidentally fell in love with all of you, so that’s why I’ve been walking around like a bumbling idiot’,” Y/N hissed, her face going hot just by visualizing that scene in her head. “Also, I haven’t even told you what happened yesterday, and if a confession to the seven of them went anything like what went down last night, I’d have to move to a rock out in the middle of the sea.”

 Motioning for her to explain, Y/N launched into the long, complicated report on her interaction with Yoongi post piano lesson, speaking in a hurried and hushed tone. Ben listened carefully, but Y/N chose to leave out some of the more supernatural aspects of her first meeting with Yoongi in The Black Lodge– Ben was a skeptic, at best, so she told him she had gotten too drunk and forgot about meeting Yoongi. By the time she had ended her story with how Yoongi seemed to be acting like nothing happened, Ben’s eyebrows were knitted and their breakfasts had long since been polished off and forgotten. 

“Uh…” Ben leaned back in his seat after he was stunned speechless for several moments, robotically passing his credit card to the waiter, his free hand coming up to rub his close-cut beard. “You weren’t bullshitting me with that text last night. That’s a lot to unpack.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. He pretty much revealed to me that he knows I’m crushing on them all, totally called me out on it. Even went as far as saying it wouldn’t be long before the others figure it out, too,” Y/N moaned miserably into her hands, covering her face exhaustedly. 

“Y/N… from what you told me,” Ben started gently, as if he was trying not to spook a nervous animal. “I think Yoongi likes you too. I mean, he waited for a year for you to remember him, he said he enjoyed talking to you, and honey– he kissed you. You shouldn’t take that bit lightly, either. Predator hybrids like Yoongi, specifically the big cats or canines, are extremely selective when it comes to choosing their romantic partners. To them, it’s like finding their mate.”

“I– no. If that was the case, he would have told me, I’m sure of it. You’ve seen him, right? Met him? He’s gorgeous, funny, caring, can cook like a dream and is a talented pianist; he could have anybody he wants, and I’m not exempt from that, and he knows it… so that’s my reasoning, I guess.”

“Why are you spewing nonsense? You’re starting to tick me off. You were never this full of self doubt in the past, especially over a man. You have to talk to him about this, sooner rather than later. Tell him how you feel, and don’t beat around the bush. And even though I’m almost positive that he likes you romantically, you two need to sort it out before the others catch on and it spirals into something even more tangled,” Ben, as they prepared to leave the restaurant, helped Y/N shrug into her coat, his hands on her shoulders as he gave her a necessary reality check– though his expression was sympathetic and full of concern. “I’ll help you out. I can borrow a couple of your guys on Monday to watch Daisy while I go into the office, and you see if you can somehow get Yoongi alone, okay?”

“Monday…” Y/N blanched, not prepared to throw caution to the wind and admit her feelings that soon. “I-I guess I can make that work. Seokjin and Joonie will be at the library with my mom for the book club, Tae at the rec center preparing for his next expo…”

“Alright. I’ll take the other three for babysitting– the cowboy, the grump, and Foxy, am I correct?” Ben attempted to lighten the mood, holding the restaurant door open for Y/N with a wry grin. “You can do this, Y/N. You’re a smart, beautiful young woman, and I know how much you love those boys. They all deserve to know how much you do– but start with Yoongi.”

Y/N made a noncommittal, grumbling noise, grinding her teeth as the bitter wind whipped through the streets of Boston. Autumn was nearly over, and the harsh winter was well on its way, Christmas decorations already beginning to pop up on certain storefronts. 

“If it goes to shit, I’m calling you. You know how I am with romantic confessions. Remember Liam in high school? I broke out in hives asking him to homecoming,” Y/N muttered, grabbing Ben’s hand and shoving their joined palms into his coat pocket, her best friend snickering at the memory. “Can we change the subject? I’m starting to feel itchy. You can still swing by Copley with me, right?”

“Yeah, I have some time. What are you going there for?” Ben steered her in a different direction than they were going, cutting through some side streets to get to the mall. 

“I’m picking up some things for Seokjin’s birthday, it’s coming up really soon. I found some cookware online I think he’d like, he’s been into culinary pursuits recently,” Y/N felt some of her anxiety dissipate as she thought about sweet Seokjin. He had pouted that morning when she left to meet Ben, and it was hard to pry him off of her as she was heading out the front door. 

“Oh! That reminds me. Has Sarah gotten in touch with you?” 

“She did, actually. We’re planning to meet at some point after the holidays, probably in January. I don’t know if I should tell Seokjin, or keep it a surprise for a little while…” Y/N bit her lip, recalling the pleasant email exchanges she had with the woman who had adopted Hannah. 

“With everything you’ve got going on right now, I think it’s alright to hold off on telling him until the plan is more concrete. Focus on the two birthdays you have coming up, Christmas, and sorting out the thing with Yoongi,” Ben shrugged, squeezing Y/N’s fingers as they ambled down the frosty sidewalk. 

“Shit. I have to order Christmas presents soon…” Y/N used her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, thanking the sky that she had that extra income from the boarded horses– gifts for seven hybrids and her other friends and family would certainly add up cost-wise. “I wish I had an assistant to keep track of everything I have to do.”

“Ah, you say that, but I haven’t seen you this happy in years, Y/N,” Ben countered, winking at her. “Even with all of the romantic drama, adopting those boys brought you back to life.”

“Stop being sappy, I’ll cry. Seriously, I will! They’re not around to fuss over me right now and I can do so freely, and that’s an opportunity I would take if you keep it up,” Y/N nudged Ben in the ribs, separating from him as they reached the revolving doors of Copley Place. 

Once in the toasty mall, she and Ben changed the direction of their conversation, Y/N feeling merry despite the looming task of confronting Yoongi in two day’s time. They made plans to have a holiday get-together at her house, with Roy and Daisy, and the Santos twins as well, all while piling items into a cart for Seokjin’s birthday. 

“Come on, sweets, won’t you do it for me?” Y/N was perched on the velvet bench at the foot of Jeongguk’s bed, attempting to convince him to go willingly to Ben’s for ‘babysitting’ early Monday afternoon. She tried to make her eyes as doelike as possible, Jeongguk chewing on his lip ring with his arms crossed, staring down at her. 

“That pouting doesn’t work on me. Go find literally anyone else in the house it does work on, Y/N,” Jeongguk tsked, pulling a few buttons loose on the creamy button-down he was wearing. 

“Okay, shithead. You want to be sassy today? Be my guest. Just saying though, Daisy has been asking for you. Ben says you’re one of her favorites,” Y/N bit back, just to see if guilting him was the way to go. Jeongguk simply shook his head, having the audacity to look amused by her outburst. She was already on edge, and his nonchalance and stubbornness did not make things better. “Maybe this will sweeten the pot. Ben said he was going to pay you guys.”

“Bribery, coercion, ass-kissing… you must really want me out of the house today,” Jeongguk drawled, turning away from Y/N as he used his floor-length mirror to clasp the necklace her mother gave him for his birthday around his neck. Through the thin material of his light-colored shirt, Y/N could faintly detect the black lines of the mystery tattoo on his back. 

“No, but it wouldn’t kill you, Jeongguk. Don’t you want to get out for a little bit? You, Hoseok, and Jimin can take Daisy to the playground in the Common, get some food, walk around…” Y/N refrained from flinching when the elk hybrid accurately called her out for shooing him out. 

“How the fuck can we go out without a human with us? Won’t the four of us get scooped up by agents and tossed back into Gerry’s shithole shelter? Besides, why does a four-year-old hybrid need three babysitters, aren’t Foxy and Blondie enough?” Jeongguk approached Y/N once more, using his thumb and forefinger to gently flick her forehead. 

“Ugh, you’re such a little shit,” Y/N rubbed the spot he flicked, even though it didn’t hurt at all. “I ordered you all ID’s, remember? They arrived this morning. If you get stopped, you show agents your ID, and it tells them that you’re adopted and can roam even without me being present. Daisy has one too, the version for children… She needed it for enrollment in her daycare.”

Jeongguk paused in contemplation, his eyes scanning her face thoughtfully as she squirmed on the bench under his scrutiny, one of his ears lazily twitching. It was a stare-down, Y/N needed to have that talk with Yoongi, and she wanted the conversation to be as private as possible, and Jeongguk seemed a touch suspicious. 

“You really want me to go babysit the bunny that badly?” Jeongguk narrowed his eyes, a spark of triumph lighting up inside of Y/N as she sensed him beginning to cave. 

“Yes, please! I’ll call in some baked ziti for you from Sal’s for dinner,” Y/N jumped to her feet, Jeongguk rolling his eyes and sticking his notebook into the pocket of his baggy black cargo pants. 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re only saying that because I’m doing you a favor, and you probably want pizza yourself, kiddo,” Jeongguk grunted as Y/N elbowed him in the ribs, scoffing at him indignantly. 

“I’m only like a year younger than you. ‘Kiddo’, really?” Y/N paused by his bedroom door, softening up once seeing the twinkle of merriment in Jeongguk’s dark eyes. 

Suddenly overwhelmed with affection for the elk hybrid, considering how much he had warmed up to her over the past few weeks, she leaned up on her tip-toes, lips brushing over his sharp cheekbone for a barely-there kiss while he froze to a complete stand-still. Pulling away as quickly as she could before he could say anything, she giggled at how round his eyes became before heading out to the hall. 

“Thanks for the favor, sweets. Ben will be here in 15 minutes to pick you and the other two up!” She called over her shoulder, hurrying away with the image of Jeongguk looking adorably stunned burned into her retinas. 

Bounding downstairs, Y/N managed to round up Jimin and Hoseok from the backyard, both of them more than willing to watch Daisy for a bit– the both of them practically doted on her. She handed out their new-and-shiny ID’s, Y/N smiling at the pictures on the cards. Staring at Jeongguk’s picture, with a serious expression on his face, she snorted at the way his antlers didn’t quite fit in the frame. 

“Tae did a nice job with all of your photos for these, huh?” Y/N gushed, brushing her fingertips over the tiny picture on Namjoon’s ID, which she’d have to give to him later. “Next time I get my license renewed, I want him to take my picture too, I always look washed out and horrendous in the ones taken at the DMV.”

“I doubt that, Y/N. You always look nice in pictures, even the ones Taehyung takes of you,” Jimin disagreed with her, grinning when she pinched his fleshy cheek bashfully. 

“Such a charmer, Jiminie. Aw, her heart’s racing,” Hoseok crooned, squeezing himself in between her and the coyote hybrid, a wicked smirk on his face as he patted his chest to mimic heartbeats.

Hissing, Y/N tried to step away from the teasing bastard, even more humiliated now, but Hoseok was far too quick for her to make a feeble human’s attempt at escape. Boldly, he grabbed her by the belt loops of her jeans, bending low to press one of his ears over her heart. Squeaking as she wiggled in his grasp, a few of his fingertips slipping into the waistband of her jeans to keep her in place, his skin burning hot with hybrid heat. 

“Hear that, Jiminie? It’s beating even faster now!” Hoseok continued gleefully, squeezing the flesh over her hip bones before he– mercifully– pulled away. “How cute, darling, you’re way too easy to flatter, and even easier to tease.”

“Hoseok,” Y/N used all of her strength to prevent herself from melting into the floorboards, not even noticing that Jimin’s shoulders were shaking with laughter and Jeongguk had crept into the foyer during the spectacle. “Stop fucking with me, the playing field isn’t even. I can’t hear your heartbeat, or smell your embarrassment, or whatever.”

“You could always try flattery, you have a knack for it,” Jeongguk leaned against the front door, seemingly recovered from the smooch she planted on his cheek only moments ago. 

“Brat,” Y/N sneered, though it was half hearted, and she was interrupted by a three-beat honk from outside. “Ooh, Ben’s here. Okay, I think you two have poked enough fun at me, get going. See you soon, sweetheart, have fun and be safe.”

Y/N murmured her last statement directly to Jimin, using a hand to shove Hoseok towards Jeongguk and out of the front door. Patting Jimin’s shoulder lightly, she leaned up to whisper into his ear. 

“You’re in charge, make sure those two don’t swear in front of Daisy, please,” though Y/N was whispering in Jimin’s ear, she was the one shivering with the proximity, intoxicating, dark lavender filling her senses and calming her steadily-climbing anxiety; it was almost time for her to look for Yoongi, who she hadn’t seen the entire day. 

“See you later, Y/N,” Jimin grinned like he knew something she didn’t, craning his neck sideways to press a kiss to one of her knuckles, her hand turning clammy as it slipped from his shoulder when he strolled out the front door. 

Y/N stood in the threshold of the door, watching the three hybrids get into Ben’s car, and stayed until Ben drove off down the street. The silence that followed their departure was eerie, Y/N wondering if Yoongi was taking a nap or was even in the house at all. Typically, during the early afternoon, the leopard hybrid would be messing around on the piano or reading a book in the parlor, but there was no music coming from upstairs and the heavily trafficked parlor was deserted and dark. Sighing, Y/N started to stack logs into the fireplace, knowing if Taehyung came home later and there was no fire, he’d be upset. She knew that she was stalling the inevitable, finding Yoongi and having the conversation she had been dreading for 48 hours, but she tried to summon courage to face him from the growing flames in the fireplace. 

Once she had mustered enough nerve, Y/N wandered through the house to find Yoongi. She searched every nook and cranny, every back hallway and hidden passageway, but clearly he wasn’t inside. Muttering under her breath, she dropped some clean laundry off in Namjoon’s room, pulling on the sherpa-lined jean jacket he had draped over his desk chair to prepare herself for traipsing around the yard. Inhaling Namjoon’s scent on the collar of his jacket, the oversized fabric swallowing her whole, she felt warmth fill her up with the notes of honey and Namjoon. 

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Y/N whimpered as soon as she opened the slider to the backyard, wrapping Namjoon’s coat more tightly around her torso. In the distance, horses were whinnying in the stable, and there were some creepy looking turkey vultures sitting in the naked oak tree next to the picnic table. “Where’s my angel…”

The sky was a gloomy gray, and Y/N wondered if snow was on the way with the way the frost-dusted grass was crunching under her feet. That quiet, still sensation just before a snowstorm was present, as well, which is why the echoing sound of a basketball striking asphalt made her jolt in surprise. Bingo. 

Weaving her way past the gate to the driveway and garage, Y/N let out a nervous breath, becoming a misty cloud of white in front of her. The turkey vultures in the oak tree started making their disturbing, guttural shrieks, sending a chill down her spine. Quickening her pace, butterflies started fluttering in her stomach as the basketball hoop came into view. 

Aware that Yoongi could both hear and smell her, she paused several feet away, eyes sweeping the area for the leopard hybrid. He was just there, she was sure of it, but he was nowhere in sight. 

“Yoongi? Where are you?” Y/N called, annoyed with the possibility that he was avoiding her on purpose. She knelt down, numb fingers grasping the acid-washed hoodie Yoongi must have tossed onto the ground, when a pair of sneakers appeared in her line of vision, she glanced up at the owner, swearing colorfully. 

Yoongi was staring down at her, basketball tucked under his arm, very sweaty and very much without a shirt. Mouth drying up, she felt a range of emotions flood through her; fluster, affection, happiness, concern, before finally landing on anger. 

“Oh my god, it’s like thirty degrees out here! Put this on,” Y/N impulsively threw his sweatshirt at him, hitting him square in the chest before it unceremoniously fell back onto the pavement. 

“I was too hot. Hybrid body heat, silly girl,” Yoongi replied simply, his old nickname for her making a comeback. Unfortunately for Y/N, paired with his damp, long hair and naked chest, it sent a bolt of arousal through her unexpectedly. Hopefully he couldn’t smell it. “What’s up? Where is everyone?”

Y/N read between the lines– that was Yoongi’s newest code for ‘find one of the others, I don’t want to talk to you’. Gritting her teeth, she managed to straighten up, forcing herself to look him in the eyes and not the dewy skin over his collarbones. 

“They’re all out. It’s just you and I, at the moment,” Y/N cleared her throat, getting a strong blast of vanilla-and-cloves as Yoongi passed a veiny hand through his sweat-dampened hair. “Please, for my sake, put on the sweatshirt. I don’t want you turning into a popsicle.”

“Nah,” Yoongi turned away from her, dribbling the ball and aiming to shoot it into the basket, his tail curling around his leg as it usually did when he’d play. “Why, don’t like what you see?”

Y/N’s eyes glazed over as she watched the muscles in his back move and flex, effortlessly sinking the ball into the basket and elegantly slinking to the hoop to retrieve the ball before it could bounce away. The pale skin of his chest was slightly flushed pink, making Y/N’s mouth water, and all at once she felt like a creep. 

“Cat’s got your tongue?” Yoongi drawled, his gravelly voice raising goosebumps on her flesh. Apparently, her hybrids felt like toying with her that day. 

Steeling herself, she approached Yoongi with determination, forgetting all about his sweatshirt, his expression growing curious and spotted ears flattening against his head at their proximity.

“Are you avoiding me again? We never finished our… conversation,” Y/N began, chickening out on professing her love right away, considering his lack of a shirt. 

“You reek like the wolf,” Yoongi dodged the question and subject entirely, moving like he was going to take another shot at the hoop. Before he could get far, Y/N reached out and yanked the basketball out of his hands, scowling. 

“We need to talk, Yoongi. You’ve hardly been able to stand in the same room as me longer than five minutes since that night,” Y/N averted her eyes from his face, finding it hard to look at him with all the emotions running through her. 

Yoongi sighed, the sound of it seemingly coming from the depths of his soul, scooping his sweatshirt off of the ground and shrugging it on. 

“Let’s go inside. Seokjin would die if he saw you out here without a hat,” Yoongi mumbled, resigned, and motioned for Y/N to follow him into the house. 

They were quiet, Y/N’s pulse thundering in her ears, positively dreading the conversation they were about to have. If Yoongi rejected her, she’d have to lock herself in her room to cry and  lick her wounds for hours, but if he didn’t… how on earth would she explain the situation between her and Yoongi to the others?

“So, what is there to ‘finish’ about our conversation?” Yoongi broke the silence as he followed her up to the music room– the most soundproof room in the house, lest someone come home early and interrupt them. Yoongi sounded bitter, like the words on his tongue tasted of grave dirt, Y/N wincing knowing that she was the cause of it. “I thought we wrapped it up already. What’s the use of beating a dead horse? We met before, you forgot, we kissed, now we’re here. End of story.”

“No, Yoongi, it’s not. I–” Y/N cut herself off, sinking down onto the couch with her head in her hands. “Let me apologize, first. I don’t want you to think that our kiss was a drunken mistake to me. I shouldn’t have insinuated that. I’m sorry, angel.”

Yoongi stiffened, at either her words or her nickname for him, she didn’t know. He remained standing in front of her, ears perked up and alert, hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie. 

“I’m sorry I can’t remember. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I’ve been having dreams, though, flashes of a memory. Maybe it will return to me, in time,” Y/N peeked at Yoongi through her fingertips, nervously chewing on her lip. 

“Y/N–” 

“Please, just, can you hear me out for a minute?” Y/N interrupted whatever warning he was undoubtedly trying to dole out, desperate to get it over with before she lost her nerve. “Last time we talked about this, you said you knew how I felt, about you, about the others, but I changed the subject.”

Yoongi nodded, his eyes narrowing and arms crossing over his chest, waiting for her to continue. Taking a deep breath, Y/N dropped her hands from her face, finally making eye-contact with the leopard hybrid, who appeared to be taking in all of her micro reactions. 

“You were right, or are right, about my feelings. I’m only starting to, um, understand those feelings, but you noticed them before I even realized they were there,” Y/N fidgeted with her fingers in her lap, growing hot in the face. “I’m sorry for hiding it, and I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Met with silence, Y/N’s worst fear was coming to life; he was going to reject her, their relationship would be permanently damaged, and her heart was going to shatter. Yoongi simply stared at her with that sharp feline gaze, a muscle in his jaw working and his expression giving away nothing as two what he was thinking. 

“I don’t want to lie to you anymore, and it’s totally fine that you don’t feel the same way, but I need to tell you,” Y/N’s voice became shaky, heart feeling like it was going to explode, ready to careen off the edge of no return. “I love you, Yoongi.”

The world went still, not even the birds outside chirping, and Y/N wasn’t confident that she was breathing anymore. Without a word, Yoongi turned on his heel, plopped down on the bench and slid a hand over the weathered keys of the piano. Baffled and heartbroken, Y/N sat frozen on the couch, stiff as a board and head spinning. 

Before her vision could go black, Yoongi began to play. Eyes snapping open, she couldn’t help the gasp that ripped from her chest; Yoongi was playing the song he had composed, the one he previously wouldn’t perform for her even upon her countless requests to. Though his face was blank of emotion, his playing certainly wasn’t, and the song almost breathed air as his hands floated across the keys. It was one of the most beautiful songs she had ever heard, so much so that she wasn’t even aware that she was crying until she felt the hot tears tracking down her cheeks. 

It was over too soon, the final note ringing out solemnly, Yoongi standing from the bench and heading towards the door, his ears flat against his head again. He stopped, hand twitching over the doorknob when he heard Y/N sniffle pathetically, looking over his shoulder. Heart bursting into smithereens at the look of anguish on his face, Y/N wanted to rush over to him, but couldn’t bear looking at him any longer. 

“I wrote that the day after we met. The first thing I composed in years. I wrote it for you.”

With that, Yoongi left the room, Y/N feeling her tears run down her neck, listening to the sound of him closing the door to his bedroom and turning on the tap to his shower. 

“So Y/N, it wasn’t exactly a rejection,” Laura soothed through the phone, Y/N humming noncommittally. She was in her car in the driveway, several days later, Seokjin’s birthday, his birthday cake sitting on the passenger seat beside her. 

“I don’t know what the fuck it was. He’s been walking around the house like a fucking ghost for days now, I think I broke him,” Y/N ran a hand through her hair, not believing that she had to resort to taking phone calls in her car to avoid eavesdropping. “I set out to see if I could fix things, or tell him my feelings, but now everything is even more messed up. I don’t know what to do.”

“Give him time, honey. He shouldn’t be leaving you hanging like that, but maybe it’s a lot to process for him. Your hybrids have been through a lot, he probably wasn’t expecting you to confront him,” Laura theorized, making Y/N snort. She had just accepted that Yoongi had been weirded out and didn’t reciprocate her feelings, but she humored Laura anyway. 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll keep you updated, I guess,” Y/N replied airily, eyes landing on the pink buttercream frosting spelling out Seokjin’s name on his cake, a small smile spreading across her face despite everything. “I gotta run, Laura. Have to round everyone up for Seokjin’s brunch.”

“Keep me updated!” Laura exclaimed urgently, Y/N grunting in response, before hanging up and hauling herself outside. She moved Seokjin’s cake to the trunk where his gifts were, making room for him to sit next to her during the ride to the restaurant. 

Y/N: Time to go! Reservation is at noon <3

Hoseok 🦊: Jinnie looks so handsome on his birthday 🤧

Seokjinnie 🌸: -_-

Jimin 🦋: We’re coming!

Y/N: Can one of you please lock the door on the way out

Joonie 🐺: I got it.

Making sure the heat was cranked up in the cab for Seokjin, she watched the front door like a hawk, waiting for everyone to file out. They came out in pairs, first Jimin and Taehyung, then Hoseok and Seokjin. Last out was Jeongguk and Yoongi, followed by Namjoon diligently locking the door and even giving the handle a jiggle to ensure it was deadbolted. Feeling warm all over at the sight of them, all dressed up in their unique styles, Y/N grinned, even though her heart was still bleeding for Yoongi. She pushed that aside, for now, for Seokjin, determined to give him the best birthday ever. 

“It’s so cold! Fuckin’ Boston weather,” Hoseok whined, the first one to the car, sliding in the seat behind Y/N. “Would moving to Florida ever be an option?” 

“Hell no,” Y/N twisted her face up in disgust even thinking about swampy Florida summers. “We can visit someday, though. Go to Disney World or something.”

“Where are your gloves?” Seokjin climbed into the passenger seat, Namjoon begrudgingly giving up his designated spot for the birthday boy, pointedly narrowing his orange eyes at her bare hands on the steering wheel. 

“Oh, somewhere in the house. I don’t need them, we’re going from the car to the restaurant,” Y/N blushed when he took her hands in his, his thick lips puckering to blow warm air onto them. “Happy birthday, my Seokjinnie!”

“You’re old as fuck,” Jeongguk commented from the third row of seats, his hair slicked back with gel as Y/N glared at him in the rearview mirror. “30? Judas priest.”

“Have some respect for your elders, fuckface,” Hoseok defended Seokjin, a lazy smile on his face when Y/N turned around to back out of her spot in front of the house. 

“Please, stop swearing,” Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose delicately, making Y/N snort. 

She drove one-handed to the restaurant, one of them captured by Seokjin, who was doing the thing where he lightly traced his fingertips over her skin in endless patterns. He was purring, too, Y/N stealing glances of him every once in a while– Hoseok was right, he looked unbearably handsome. Shiny, wavy raven hair, a cozy plum-colored sweater, and his expression content and relaxed. 

When they arrived, Y/N had Namjoon and Taehyung help her bring in the cake and the gifts, never letting go of Seokjin’s hand once. She shouldn’t have noticed, but she did, that Yoongi was keeping a lot of space between them, sitting the furthest away from her at the table and silently reading the menu while everyone else chatted. If the other hybrids had noticed his odd behavior the past few days, they were very good at pretending they didn’t. 

Shaking her head, she put all of her attention on Seokjin, who still hadn’t released her hand. He wiggled in his seat happily, tail curling around her lower back, scooching his chair closer to Y/N. 

“What are you going to get?” Y/N leaned her cheek on Seokjin’s shoulder, reading his menu instead of her own. With a purr, Seokjin pointed out a few items, his teeth digging into his lower lip. “Ooh, that sounds yummy! Eggs benedict?”

They ended up ordering an obscene amount of food, Y/N passing on the mimosas so she could drive home uncompromised, but ordered a round for all of the hybrids. 

“So, how’s the book of the week so far?” Y/N asked Seokjin, who was taking a dainty sip of his mimosa. “A Christmas Carol, right?”

“Mm-hm. It’s a little early for Christmas stories in my opinion, though,” Seokjin cocked his head, a contemplative look on his face. “Have you been sleeping okay lately, Y/N?”

Seokjin was too kind to not point out the very obvious dark circles under her eyes, but she knew that was why he asked. Truthfully, she was lucky if she got three hours of sleep every night since she told Yoongi she loved him, but she couldn’t admit that to Seokjin. The last thing she wanted was to concern him on his birthday. 

“Yeah, I’ve just been having strange dreams that sometimes wake me up. I’m perfectly fine, though, honey,” Y/N attempted to soothe, Seokjin nodding and taking another swig of his mimosa. 

Thankfully, before he could pry, food arrived, and Y/N busied herself by stuffing her face so she didn’t have to talk. 

“This is the first time I’ve ever celebrated my birthday,” Seokjin admitted quietly, the food in front of him untouched as he seemingly soaked everything in. Chest squeezing, Y/N snaked an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to his shoulder through his sweater. 

“Good thing you’ll have plenty more to celebrate each year, to make up for that,” she replied equally as soft, Seokjin’s eyes softening as he returned a kiss to her– his lips stamping affection on the crown of her head. 

Flushing, she caught Yoongi’s eyes across the table, that same blank look on his face from when he played the song for her days ago. Her song. Hurriedly looking back down at her food, she stuffed the emotion welling up inside her deep down. 

“Try this,” Seokjin interrupted her attempt to not wallow, a fork with a perfect bite of eggs benedict on it appearing in front of her face. 

Automatically, she opened her mouth like it was second nature; Seokjin often liked to feed her bites of his food like that, and she was never one to deny him. His lips twisted up into a smug smirk, using his free hand to cup her jaw like always, angling her face upwards so he could feed her the bite of his entree. She felt eyes on her from the whole table, but she couldn’t have cared less, locked in on the way Seokjin’s gaze was fixed on her mouth. 

“How is it?” Seokjin asked through his shit-eating grin, his touch vanishing but his tail still curled around her waist. 

“Mmm,” was all Y/N could articulate, swallowing slowly and unable to break free from his spell. 

“Spoiled,” Seokjin murmured, tutting. Heart falling to her ass, she gawked at his gorgeous side profile with utter disbelief, ears turning hot with humiliation and something else. 

“H-huh?” She squeaked, though the jaguar hybrid simply resumed eating, striking up a conversation with Hoseok a couple of seats down, still smirking. 

Reeling, Y/N managed to choke down the remainder of her meal, only snapping out of it when the waitresses came by with Seokjin’s cake, lit up with sparkler candles. Amazingly, Seokjin didn’t even flinch when the cake was placed in front of him, despite his usual aversion to things that were on fire or noisy, his cheeks rounding out as he read the top of his cake and blew out the candles. Hoseok sang a rather off-key version of “Happy Birthday” with the waitresses, and Y/N noticed that Taehyung had brought his camera with him, furiously taking pictures with flash of the entire event. 

“You got the lavender cake!” Seokjin exclaimed while Y/N was cutting a slice for him, pink frosting covering the pale purple sponge; a very Seokjin color scheme. 

“I did! You said you liked it a few months ago, I hope you still do,” Y/N pushed the plate in front of him, wondering if she should have a slice herself, considering how stuffed she was from all of the food Seokjin had just fed her. 

This time, Seokjin was the one blushing, mouth full of cake. Chuckling, she ruffled his hair, sliding plate after plate of cake down the table for each of the hybrids, astonished that they still had room in their tummies. 

“Okay, so what did you get Jinnie for his birthday? Did you snag him an audition on Masterchef?” Hoseok asked, frosting coating his lips. 

“Oh! Joonie, can you pass me those bags?” Y/N exclaimed, Namjoon getting up from his booth seat to deliver the three gifts at the head of the table, his damaged ear flickering when she called his name. 

Seokjin, who wasn’t quite as shy as he was when she first met him, accepted the first gift bag with pink ears despite all of his opening up. The whole table– apart from Yoongi, who excused himself to the bathroom minutes prior– watched Seokjin peer into the bag with rapt interest. 

The first gift was from her mother, a lovely vintage watch that Y/N had helped her pick out at a pawn shop recently. When she spotted it in the shop, it had Seokjin written all over it; elegant and classic, and went well with his polished wardrobe. Hoseok oohed and aahed, reaching across the table to strap it on Seokjin’s left wrist for him. Giggling, Y/N admired the way it looked on his slim wrist, leaning against his arm while he went for the other two gifts; several sweaters and shirts in various shades of pinks and neutrals, a pretty set of silver dangling earrings (Y/N noticed that he had two lobe piercings on his left ear, but didn’t have any earrings to put through them), and a set of brand-new Japanese knives. He loved every single gift, gushing over the knives in particular, but he had to slap Hoseok’s hand away when the fox hybrid attempted to put the earrings on Seokjin. 

Once the cake was eaten and plates were cleared away, Jeongguk and Namjoon both began to grow antsy, probably hoping to leave soon and get back to their routines. She handed her car keys to Taehyung beside her so he could pull the car around– he was the only one Y/N was confident that he knew how to drive, and Namjoon was known to speed– everyone following the Kodiak hybrid outside. Yoongi had long since returned from the bathroom, but once he saw that it was just Seokjin and Y/N waiting at the table to pay the bill, he too went out to the car. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Today was…” Seokjin trailed off, like he was at a loss for words. They were standing by the bar, waiting for his leftover cake to be boxed up, Seokjin straightening out Y/N’s coat and making sure it was clasped correctly. “Perfect.”

“My Seokjinnie,” Y/N cooed, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in chest. She felt him purring, his own arms coiling around her back, rubbing circles over her coat. “I have one more thing for you.”

Pulling away, she chuckled at the look of bewilderment lighting up his features, Y/N reaching into the pocket of her coat for an envelope, offering it to him with a wink. Carefully, Seokjin tore the envelope open, fishing out the two pieces of paper from within and turning them over. His eyes scanned the text, his pupils blowing out wide and mouth dropping open once he registered exactly what he was holding.

“A cooking class,” Seokjin breathed, cheeks turning bright pink. “At Eataly?”

“Yeah! I heard the classes there are awesome, and in that class you get to have wine pairings with whatever you cook, you learn about the regions in Italy where the dishes come from. You’ve been so into cooking lately, and I thought the class would be perfect for you, especially with the wine pairing aspect,” Y/N explained, Seokjin hanging on every word and reading the tickets over and over. “It’s in February. I got two tickets, so you can take whoever you like. Hoseok, Yoongi, Joonie, it’s your choice!”

Seokjin froze, a curious look in his eyes, tucking the tickets back into the envelope and reaching for Y/N’s hand again. 

“You don’t wanna come with me?” Seokjin squeezed her hand, a frown on his face for the first time that day. Blinking, Y/N made a noise of surprise. 

“Me? You want me to take the class with you?” Y/N asked stupidly, Seokjin furiously nodding and his ears perking up. 

“I don’t want to take it with anyone but you,” Seokjin confirmed resolutely, taking his cake box from a waitress ogling him without so much of a glance in her direction. Heart soaring upon hearing those words, Y/N couldn’t help but give him another tight hug. 

“Okay, I’ll go with you. Can’t wait,” Y/N agreed, mouth full of his felt coat. 

Seokjin just grinned brilliantly, leaving her embrace, tugging her towards the door, where her Land Cruiser was double-parked with the rest of the hybrids. 

“Let’s go home,” Seokjin held the door to the restaurant open for her, uttering the statement like it had great meaning to him. 

Even though she shouldn’t have, she let Taehyung drive home, Yoongi sitting beside him, while Y/N squeezed into the backseat between Namjoon and Seokjin. It was halfway back to the house when she realized Taehyung wasn’t using GPS; he knew where home was by memory, or perhaps by heart. 

“It’s just a piano lesson, just act natural, like nothing’s wrong,” Y/N glared at herself in her bathroom mirror, pinching her own cheeks to bring life back into her complexion. “Just act like you aren’t in love with the teacher.”

Groaning, Y/N switched off the bathroom light, feeling a touch ill. She had barely spoken more than a handful of words to Yoongi in over a week, nerves still too raw. Last week, she skipped her lesson, not even bringing it up to the leopard hybrid, and spent much of that Friday out in the stable with Jimin taking care of the animals. That week, however, she ironically decided to face the music and resume with the lessons, an attempt to grasp a sense of normalcy between her and Yoongi. 

Y/N paused before she left her bedroom, shooting her crumpled sheets a dirty look. Sleep still evaded her, and her dreams had been getting more and more vivid and taunting, the locked memory of her first meeting with Yoongi driving her insane even while unconscious. Growling, she left her room, taking a peek into Namjoon’s bedroom to find it empty, disappointment flooding through her. He must have been in his trailer, where he and Jeongguk had been hanging out recently like a pair of Ghostbusters.

She could hear a movie going on in the parlor, but she didn’t stop by to see what was on or who was watching, not wanting to drag her feet any longer. Y/N knew that Yoongi wasn’t there; he spent most of his time those days in the music room with the doors shut. Poor Taehyung couldn’t even use the record player all week. 

Crawling up the stairs, once she reached the room at the end of the hall, she knocked on the closed doors. Of course, he knew that it was her, but there was still a chance that he wouldn’t open up. As the door opened, her heart throbbed at the sight of him– similarly tired looking, just like her. Yoongi stepped aside, letting her into the room, before promptly shutting the both of them into the silent room. 

The room was a mess, sheet music strewn everywhere, a throw blanket tossed messily over the loveseat, several dirty mugs on the coffee table. She half-turned, too grief-stricken to face him fully, she gestured around the room. 

“Have you been sleeping in here?” Y/N managed, picking a crumpled piece of sheet music off of the ground, instantly recognizing the writing on the paper to be in Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi ran a hand over his face, his clothing all wrinkled and pen ink covering his fingers. “Um, I guess as long as it’s comfortable…”

“What do you want?” Yoongi asked softly, Y/N flinching at the question like she was burned with a fire poker. 

“I just wanted to ask… If we could have a lesson? If you still want to teach me? I understand if you don’t,” Y/N felt her throat grow sore from trying to keep down tears, feeling like a giant crybaby. 

Yoongi grunted, trudging over to the piano, pushing sheet music off of the bench and sitting down. 

“Come,” Yoongi patted the bench, avoiding her eyes, tail wrapping around his waist snugly. 

Y/N’s legs moved on their own accord, perching on the edge of the bench as far away from him as she could accomplish, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by touching him. Scanning the sheet music in front of her, already able to read it pretty well thanks to his vigorous teaching style, she heard the notes in her head as her eyes roamed over the notes. 

“Is this…?” Y/N timidly pointed to the paper, unable to look at him whatsoever. This was a terrible mistake. 

“It’s your song,” Yoongi gruffly admitted, his voice coming out strained. “I can teach you.”

Nodding, she was surprised she was able to keep the waterworks at bay, Yoongi launching into his lesson patiently. Y/N was leagues better and playing than she was months ago, so Yoongi hardly had to correct her or fix her hand placements, but the air in the room was suffocating her. Being so close to him, so close yet emotionally miles apart, had the queasy feeling in her gut growing by the second. 

She made it halfway through the song, but the more complicated section of the piece was starting to trip her up. Fumbling through the same measure four times in a row, she huffed in annoyance, considering throwing in the towel for the night. 

“No, try again. Like this,” Yoongi snapped her out of her self-criticism, gently rearranging her fingers on the keys to form the correct chord, the contact shocking her so much that she yelped, her vision going black immediately. 

“Give me your number,” the girl– Y/N– demanded, apparently trying to sound confident, but her alcohol-flushed cheeks were countering her desire to seem intimidating. 

Yoongi chuckled, for what felt like the first time in years, watching the girl stick out her arm and using her free hand to dig around in her purse for something. With a triumphant grin, she produced a pen from her bag, shoving it in Yoongi’s palm. 

“Give me your number, Yoongi,” Y/N repeated, waving her bare forearm in his face. 

“Silly girl. Why don’t I just put it in your contacts?” Yoongi teased, though he was secretly delighted that she wanted to keep in touch with him. He prayed that you’d be the one to remember. 

“My phone died,” Y/N pouted– oh, she didn’t know how irresistible she was. “Just write it on my arm, I’ll plug it in to my phone tomorrow, I swear.”

She didn’t know that promises, when it came to The Black Lodge, often disappeared into thin air. She didn’t know that there was a strong possibility that come morning, she’d forget she was even at a bar, that she met him. He shook his head, as if to clear the thoughts from it, reaching out to hold her wrist steady, uncapping the pen with his teeth. Yoongi could tell she was holding her breath, her heart rate picking up as he copied his cell phone number onto her smooth flesh. 

“What time is it? I have work in the morning…” Y/N looked regretful, like she couldn’t bear to leave the bar. It pulled at his heartstrings, embarrassingly enough. 

“Midnight,” Yoongi checked his watch before looking back at her face, trying to memorize every inch of it. “You should probably get going. I’ll call you a cab.”

Yoongi let Y/N cling to his arm, a little unstable on her heels, walking her to the back entrance of the bar. He felt the ache of having to say goodbye to the first person who made him feel like a real person in years, but there was nothing he could do– it’s not like he could lock her away in his apartment upstairs just so he could have someone to come home to. Breathing in deeply, he knew that he’d miss her scent as soon as she’d get in the cab and drive away. 

Leaning by the door, watching for the cab out of the window, Yoongi tried to appear nonchalant, but he was truthfully shaken. Y/N was talking about a concert that she wanted to go to with him the following week, an indie band he never heard of. If you remembered him the next day, there was a possibility he’d have actual plans with someone. Someone interested in getting to know him. 

“Hey Yoongi?” Y/N brought him out of his reverie, frowning as he spotted her cab waiting outside. 

“What’s that, silly girl?” 

“Can you kiss me?” She asked quietly, Yoongi positive that only a hybrid could hear her with how low she spoke. “Please?”

Stunned, Yoongi swallowed thickly, forgetting all about the cabbie waiting outside and honking furiously. She looked shy, and judging by her scent, she was anxious. Stepping closer, Yoongi’s body moved on its own, his hands slightly shaking as they reached to cup her delicate jaw. Y/N sucked in a breath, gaze dropping to his mouth, before her pretty eyes fluttered shut. Stooping, Yoongi shut his own eyes, his lips finding purchase on hers, her sweet sigh being swallowed up by him willingly. She gripped his wrists, still cradling her face, her teeth nipping lightly at his lower lip. Y/N pulled away all too soon, looking dazed, Yoongi equally as breathless. She reached up, flicking the angel wing earring dangling from his ear, giggling. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow, angel.” 

With that, she disappeared into the night, and the call never came.

“Y/N? Y/N, sweetheart, are you okay? What happened?” Yoongi, his voice somehow far away but definitely panicked, drew her out of whatever vision had taken over her body. She could feel herself being held, propped up against a heaving chest, a trembling hand cupping her cheek. “Y/N, please baby, open your eyes!”

Wheezing, Y/N could feel consciousness coming back to her piece by piece, the crack in Yoongi’s voice devastating her. Peeling her eyes open, she was met with Yoongi staring back at her, mortification and fear all over his face, ears pressed so flat to his skull she almost couldn’t see them. 

“What happened?” Y/N echoed Yoongi’s question back to him, her own voice scratchy. Yoongi, despite himself, pushed hair out of Y/N’s face, his whole body coiled with stress. 

“I don’t know. You passed out for a few seconds, but you s-sounded like you were having a terrible dream,” Yoongi’s voice cracked again, still holding her close to his chest. 

“I– it wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t a dream. I think,” Y/N spoke slowly, like her mouth was full of molasses. “I think it was a vision, like the ones my mom has.”

Y/N felt sapped of energy, entirely sagging into Yoongi’s embrace, forgetting all about how estranged they had been for weeks. When he put his hand over her’s, she got the vision. 

“What did you see, sweetheart?” Yoongi seemed to calm down a bit, though still held onto her like she was going to dissolve into smoke. 

“The bar, you and me. But from your perspective. Our kiss,” Y/N whispered, trying to replay the vision in her head over and over again, trying to remember how Yoongi’s lips felt on her. 

“You– you remembered?” Yoongi exclaimed, color flooding his cheeks. “Wait, what do you mean, from my perspective?”

“Like I was seeing it from your eyes,” Y/N explained tiredly, slumping further into his arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you the next day, angel.”

Yoongi went ramrod straight, a hiss coming from the back of his throat as he maneuvered Y/N upright by her upper arms so he could look into her eyes. 

“You need to stop apologizing to me,” Yoongi breathed, his eyebrows pulling together, pained. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” Y/N’s voice broke, moisture gathering at the corners of her eyes. 

“How many times am I going to make you cry?” Yoongi used a thumb to brush away the tears under her eyes, his anguished expression becoming even more pronounced. 

“I-I get that you don’t like me like that, Yoongi, b-but–”

“Y/N, I love you. I think I fell in love with you a year ago,” Yoongi confessed desperately, his other hand coming up to cup the side of her face. “As cheesy as that is. I love you, and it’s killing me.”

The world stopped, her heart stopped, and everything around her ceased to exist except for Yoongi. Tears drying up as if by command, Y/N searched for any sign of deception on his face or hidden in his body language, but came up with nothing. 

“You love me, too?” Y/N whimpered, heart aching from something else now. 

Yoongi leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, his eyes falling shut as he exhaled shakily. She twisted her fists into the fabric of his tee shirt, craving his warmth, savoring how close he was. 

“So fucking much,” Yoongi confirmed, voice above a whisper. “I love you so fucking much, baby.”

“Yoongi…” Y/N breathed, heart about to beat out of her chest. “Love you…”

With a purr rounding out into a growl, Yoongi moved one of his hands to the small of Y/N’s waist, dragging her closer to him. Inches away, danger, but also tenderness, filled his hazel eyes. He was beautiful. 

“Kiss me,” Yoongi’s barely audible request sent fireworks off in her gut, his eyes shutting again as he nudged his nose against hers. “Please.”

How could she possibly deny him, her Yoongi, her love, when he asked her so sweetly?

Pulse racing, Y/N released her hold on his shirt, tucking a long strand of jet black hair behind his ear, humming when he shuddered, placing her hand on the side of his neck, his own pulse thrumming as fast as hers was. 

“Please, baby,” Yoongi repeated, the pet name making her stomach flip. Without any more hesitation, Y/N leaned up, perfectly slotting her lips against Yoongi’s, gentle, slow, and impossibly sweet. 

His lips, full and soft, were yielding against hers, letting her take the lead, his hands remaining still– one holding her face, the other on her waist. Locking lips for several moments, innocent and so full of love, Y/N drew away, winded and over the moon. Yoongi stayed close, eyes lidded and breathing labored, before he spoke again. 

“More. Kiss me more.”

Yoongi pulled her into his lap, his tail curling around her waist, one arm around her back and the other traveling down to the outside of her thigh. Y/N, growing shy, gave him a simple peck, face on fire. She never imagined that this was how her night was going to go, but she couldn’t even remember when they weren’t like this before. Not satisfied with the measly peck she planted on the corner of his mouth, Yoongi chased after her, gripping her jaw tightly and descending his lips on her once more, Y/N gasping in surprise. Yoongi took that opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, swallowing the startled moan she made hungrily, the tip of his tongue flicking against the roof of her mouth. 

Melting in his grip, Y/N kissed him back with renewed vigor, a hand moving to tangle in his silky hair, pleased that he took over the kiss, lungs screaming for air as Yoongi sucked on her lower lip with a purr. As if sensing that she needed to catch her breath, Yoongi released her lip with a pop, his mouth peppering kisses along her sensitive jaw voraciously, hand on her thigh rubbing up and down. Sighing blissfully, Y/N’s head tilted back when his lips trailed to her neck, mouth wet and kisses searing her flesh.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” Yoongi groaned into her neck, lightly sucking on a spot behind her ear that had her mewling. “Let me mark you…”

Words failing her, Y/N nodded desperately, eager to feel his teeth sink into her flesh. Chuckling darkly, Yoongi started muttering sweet nothings, dragging his tongue up the length of her throat. The hand on her thigh moved again, this time to grab a loose hold of the base of her neck, Y/N’s eyes rolling back into her skull with the weight of his palm in such a vulnerable spot. 

“Hold onto me, my love,” Yoongi murmured in her ear, Y/N obediently tightening her grip around Yoongi’s waist, whining at the sensation of his teeth tracing the vein fluttering with her erratic pulse making her see stars behind her eyelids. 

With one more open-mouthed kiss to her throat, Yoongi bit down, Y/N crying out his name, never feeling more alive than in that moment, in his arms, teeth in her neck. Tail protectively curling even tighter around her waist, Yoongi’s purrs were growing so loud, he sounded more predatory than ever. She didn’t know if it was the fact that he loved her, that he was kissing her, or the the side effects of scenting, but Y/N swore her soul ascended as he removed his teeth from the mark, a sensual swipe of his tongue sweeping over the wound to cauterize it. 

Growing entirely limp in his arms, Y/N barely had the energy to kiss him back when his lips returned to hers, whimpering at the tangy taste of her own blood on his tongue. And then, all at once, his lips were gone. 

“I don’t want to get carried away, sweetheart,” Yoongi’s voice was strained, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead with a hum.

“What if I do?” Y/N countered dopily, her head full of cotton and Yoongi. Yoongi barked out a hearty laugh, unable to help himself by pecking her lips once more, smoothing her hair into place. She probably looked like she got attacked.

“Not tonight, love,” Yoongi helped her stand, snickering at her whining protests. “Let’s take it slow, hmm? You need to get some rest, proper rest. So do I.”

“I guess you’re right,” Y/N admitted begrudgingly, though she wanted nothing more than Yoongi kissing her senseless all night, her body was sagging with exhaustion. “Your edginess has been keeping me up for nights on end.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Yoongi apologized sincerely, his ears flattening against his skull again. Before he opened up the soundproofed door, he stopped, lifting her hand to his lips to brush a kiss over her knuckles. “I love you.”

Realizing, until they figured out how to tell the others, they’d have to keep their affections to themselves, Y/N pouted even further. Now that she had a taste of him, she was insatiable. 

“I love you, too, angel.”

Silently, Yoongi walked Y/N to her bedroom, stealing one last kiss after making sure the hallway was clear, Y/N floating on air as she sunk onto her bed, Yoongi shutting the door and leaving her to relive everything that happened mentally. 

On her nightstand, where she had left it, her phone chimed, making her flinch and swear. Blindly reaching for it, still a little hazy from the scenting and makeout session, she unlocked her phone, only to feel dread wash over her as she read the text that she received.

Hoseok 🦊: What the hell is going on with you and Yoongi? 

Taglist; @blancflms @grazysf @sbromp @jaxavance @sunderlight @ot7nem @mageprincess7 @wittyreader @drenix004 @mayla548 @skyys-universe @ddaeng-angmoh @trtlthts @exfolitae @kalala22 @xiusmarshmallow @bangtans-momma @zae007live @paigetj @singukieee @serendididy @lilacdreams-00 @dreamerwasfound @ninjacups @osakis-gf @itwillbealways-d @xthefuckerysquaredx @momowantscats @molshole @gooooomz @uarmyhore @lopprhe @oopscoop @xicanacorpse @i-like-anime13 @hemziii @demarie04 @im-sinking-in-mud @talkyoongitome @bangtxnbxunch @primrose2507 @kihyunniesmonbebe @lilmxchis @7evensin @00ihatesnaku @neverthefirstchoice @sometingreallycool @cathy-1997 @cerulean1riz

Please do not repost or translate my work. Thank you!

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts ot7 x reader #hybrid au #bts ot7 x y/n #bts hybrid au #bts fic #bts au #bts hybrid x reader #bts hybrid fanfic #namjoon fanfic #seokjin fanfic #yoongi fanfic #hoseok fanfic #jimin fanfic #taehyung fanfic #jungkook fanfic

[eliza-styx]

Ghost x Soap fics masterpost

It’s been crazy five weeks since I returned to writing fanfiction at full speed so I figured it’s time to highlight all the ghoap fics I wrote so far, in case anyone is interested in checking out my work. The fandom is really lively and so many fics are written for the ship that it gets lost in the sauce quite fast but I figure some of these are still bangers you may wanna consider reading!

1. Heart of Stone, Simon Riley A fluffy take on what could have happened in-between missions, it’s just tooth-rotting fest of cuteness with minor hurt/comfort elements

2. Simon and the Ghost

First fic I wrote for this fandom, a take on Simon vs Ghost internal conflict and his so totally mysterious feelings for Soap, a little sappy, a little humorous

3. Pillow Talk

Ghost’s survivors guilt gives him nightmares but Soap is there to hold him through it, a notch angsty, hurt/comfort, pre-slash

4. Hopeless Christmas Interventions

Soap impulsively invites Ghost to his parents’ house for Christmas and his parents treat him as if he was Soap’s boyfriend, which he totally, absolutely is not; it’s pure, unfiltered Christmas fluff and Soap’s parents are the parents we all deserve

5. Simon and the Soap

This is a nsfw sequel to Simon and the Ghost, they are switches in this one because why the heck not, pretty sappy for pwp

6. His Healing Touch

The angstiest take on Ghost’s trauma I’ve commited so far, mostly focuses on his sexual trauma and the trust between him and Soap that lets him reconnect with that side of himself, nsfw, bottom!Ghost, top!Soap, turns quite sappy and romantic

7. Dabloon For Your Thoughts

This is a crack!fic that people didn’t trust to read lol It’s fluffy, it’s cute and it’s not as ooc as you may think, it’s just them falling in love during a very unrealistic journey, based on a tiktok prompt

8. Chodź (Pocałuj Mnie)

The first ghoap fic to be posted on ao3 in Polish, it’s sweet and erotic (and someone said it reads well even through google translate)

9. Between Soft Strands A fluffy little thing about Ghost being obsessed with Soap’s hair and yearning to touch it, soft with just a dash of teasing

10. Don’t Tell Him It’s Me A loosely defined romcom au wherein Ghost and Soap sort of date before they meet on the mission but Soap does not recognize his “boyfriend” behind the skull mask

11. Overgrowth

Cute silly fic inspired by bearded Soap craze on Twitter, Ghost just has a thing for Soap’s beard

12. My Heart At Home

A collab with MizuShiba, companion piece for their stunning fanart!

13. Sweet

Just Soap and Ghost being sweet and vulnerable, slow dancing at night

14. Cat Dad

141 have a kitten now and it basically thinks Ghost is its mommy

15. Blowing Off Steam

Rated E, PWP with a sappy ending, sparring match gone sexual

16. The Sweetest Flower Wild Nature Yields

Flowershop AU

17. Trapped By You

Rated E, porn with a bit of plot

18. Rutting For You

Rated E, untraditional a/b/o, alpha x alpha, porn with a hint of plot, may have a sequel at some point

19. Slipping Up (co-written with Starry)

hurt/comfort, tw: for drinking as a coping mechanism

20. The Maskmaker

pure fluff, written for MW2 fic/art exchange

21. The Heart At Fault

angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, tw character injury

22. Retraced

Rated E, porn with feelings, body imagine issues

23.Tenderly

Rated E, porn with feelings, ftm trans Soap

#soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #fluff #smut #fanfiction #masterpost #reccomendations #ghoap #sost #cod mwii #ao3

[onestopfanficshop]

can't lose you

eddie munson x gn!reader

summary: you have a nightmare that eddie had been taken from you suddenly. it leaves you shaken, especially after your best friend chrissy was murdered.

author's note/warnings: au where chrissy didn't die in eddie's trailer. contains language but that's abt it. also this was my first time writing for a gender neutral reader so let me know if i missed anything! literally just using this as a coping mechanism cause... well you know why 😭

word count: 750 ish

Your head jolts up from your pillow, forehead breaking out in a cold sweat. Your breath hitches in your throat as you try to stop yourself from hyperventilating. Eddie, who was a light sleeper, woke up immediately, his big brown eyes looking at you with endless worry.

"(Y/N)? What happened? Breathe, okay?" he says, his voice tinged with panic. He helped you to move to a sitting position, his hands rubbing up and down your arms as he tried to calm you down.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you repeat shakily, mostly to yourself. You calm down enough to form a sentence. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that, I just… I had a bad dream. A nightmare," you say quietly. You fists bundle the comforter of your bed as you pull it in closer to your body for comfort.

"You don't have to apologize honey, okay? Is it okay if I ask what it was about?" Eddie asks, his right hand grabbing yours instinctively. His thumbs ran over the grooves of you knuckles as he looked at you intently.

"Um… you... you died in it," you whisper. "It was so weird. God, it felt so real, like– I swear I couldn't feel you anymore. It was as if you were really gone for good. It was fucking awful," you finish. Despite your best effort not to cry, you felt tears streaming down to your nose. You roughly wipe them away, sniffing. You pull your knees into yourself, wrapping your arms around your knees and directing your gaze away from Eddie. Eddie had never seen you cry or even panic like this before, and it was making his chest ache.

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie says with a sympathetic exhale. His hand rubs your back soothingly, and his touch was so gentle that it filled you with even more emotion. You suddenly unfolded yourself from your curled up position and threw yourself into his arms. He immediately wraps himself around you as you bury your head in his chest, trying to muffle your sniffling as you quietly cried into his chest. You had to admit, you weren't the prettiest crier, and you didn't want Eddie to see you like this.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," Eddie says. "You're safe with me, yeah? I'm never going to leave you, okay? I promise you that," Eddie tells you, kissing the top of your head. You lift your head up from his chest to look directly at him, even though you knew you probably looked kind of crazy right now.

"I know it wasn't real, it's just– it's too much, too soon. I just lost Chrissy, y'know? She was basically my sister. And just the thought of losing you, I mean… it set me over the edge, I guess. I know everyone has to die eventually but, like, maybe I could make a deal with God or whoever's up there…" you trail off.

Eddie smiles softly at you. "Y'know, I bet you could. You're a wicked negotiator."

"Am I?" you ask.

"Hell yeah. Remember that time you spent ten minutes trying to convince Mrs. Sherzinger not to give us homework, and she actually did it?"

"Oh my gosh, yeah," you say, chuckling through your tears at the memory. "I think I broke the record for most high fives in a day."

"See? Best negotiator," Eddie says, grinning. He tilts his head at you, a pensive look taking over on his face. "Do want some tea? I saw some boxes of that fancy kind your mom drinks when I was rummaging for snacks earlier," he says, his thumbs delicately wiping away the tears on your face.

"No, it's okay. If she finds out you went through her stash– hell, if she finds out that you're even here– then you'll actually be dead," you say with an amused tone. "I think I wanna go back to sleep. It turns out crying is actually very tiring," you tell him, sinking your head back down to your pillow. He chuckles at your sentiment, secretly thrilled at seeing you smile again.

"Alright, sleepyhead," he says, snuggling in next to you. He pulls your head into his chest, and his familiar scent and warmth instantly makes you feel more secure. "Sleep tight, okay?"

"I love you so much, Eddie," you mumble into his chest, your eyelids growing heavier.

"I love you more, honey."

♡

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanons #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfiction #onestopfanficshop

[saw2goth]

I wanna hear a yap, but i haven't read the book yet :(

How about some character headcannons then?

It doesn't have to be about A Christmas Carol! >0< Most of my content is AU content anyway lawl. Here are some headcanons but bear in mind they have little to nothing to do with the original book at this point:

Scrooge: Trans man! Felt this one in my soul <3 Autistic (he stims in the book, too), uses isolation as a coping mechanism because he was neglected as a child, takes comfort in being alone pre-redemption because it means he won't get hurt or experience loss anymore. I like to think he ended up the way he did because he wanted to regain some control over his life and he didn't feel like he owed the world anything after having his loved ones taken away. Post-redemption Scrooge ends up developing a fear of being alone because he doesn't want to lose the company he has after learning to appreciate it. Scrooge was given the ability to see chains on other people and ghosts, he spends a lot of his time trying to help these people better themselves/get rid of their chains in order to make the world around him a kinder place. He's still dating Marley even though he's a ghost but their relationship is much different now. Imagine your ex shows up after being dead for 7 years and wants you to continue like nothing has even changed.

Marley: Genderqueer (I'm not even sure he knows what's going on with that), also autistic. We don't learn much about him in the book aside from the fact that he was Scrooge's business partner so I just went crazy with it. Saved up lots of money in order to move his mother into a nice home and take care of her so she can have rest, she died before he has a chance to which is why he refuses to dip into his fortune (he doesnt believe he deserves the money or that it even truly belongs to him). He's very attached to Scrooge, Scrooge is all he has. This persists even in death and he hardly ever leaves his side. He's very protective of Scrooge in our redemption AU and is distrusting of anyone who he believes might be trying to come between them. A lot of his reasons for trying to keep Scrooge so close to him are selfish which is why they can't get rid of his chains just yet. He can just barely touch physical items but sometimes it takes him a while. He spent a lot of his afterlife watching over Scrooge instead of teaching himself how to interact with the world around him in his new form so it can be a struggle for him. Imagine Julian from ghosts type powers, he can move objects but it might take him 30 minutes.

Wolfe MacFarlane: Listen I know he's not a christmas carol character but he's part of the polycule now listen to me-

Some of these headcanons are ones that are specific to...the general Wolfe MacFarlane for the redemption AU and then others are just specific to my interp of him only.

Closeted gay man. Cis. Has scars on his chest from a workplace accident. Grew up in a well-off household, his father was also a surgeon and pretty much hammered this future into his son. He was constantly made to feel inferior and had to prove himself and his worth to his father. He gets so attached to Mr K as a student because he's the only older man in his life who ever offered him praise for doing a good job :/ and then it went to his head. He also did kill a guy. Was childhood friends with Scrooge, who tries to help him turn his life around when they're reunited in their adulthood (he has soo many chains it's a lot of work). Has a sort of rivalry going on with Marley because Marls doesn't trust him around Scrooge and Wolfe knows that and is secretly hurt that he doesn't believe he can change (this attitude further fuels his insecurities he has about being unfixable).

UMMMM. That's all I can think of right now but thanks for letting me info-dump about them <3

#eddie answers #tbs redemption au

[talk-it-out-outsiders-smp]

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE COPING MECHANISM, DENIAL! Au Final things! It's been set up like tragedy but by God they will get there happy ending!

- First off because no one died in this Au the original people who saw the sign with the code are still around, most importantly Apo who I firmly believe would remember that number, so Ori definitely still falls into the lab but instead makes a bet for his friends full freedom. If they get out of the maze, all together, then they get to walk away fully, no strings attached. (This is vague but what I'm working with right now)

-So our group heads into the dark maze when the lava rises and they make their way into The Trails

-When crossing the initial Bridge they have Bek and Kyle Led with Owen and Magic in the back to keep an eye out for anything sneaking up on them and also to make sure everyone is there

-Krow's comment about remembering the outside world being darker is heard by Soup who promises to take him to a beach once they're out

-Reddons absolutely steals the beer from that chest while playing dumb about what hybrid they could be talking about

-Meeting Crazy Spell Nick in that water cave goes even worse because instead of 8 there's 18 and the cave barely fits them. Oeca I'd the impatient one who decides to just try and swim through

-Now since Owen never tried to kill Krow he didn't cut its arm off so... While swimming past the creature Acho almost gets bit by it but Krow pushes him out of its path getting its own arm practically bitten off

-Guts continues her life as a strongest woman around and carries both Krow and Bek on her shoulders up the rope since there both injured

-In the sacrifice room there's lots of arguing about who should stay. Ori is horrified but adament that he should stay, Soup says she should stay because she doesn't think she can fit in the outside world, Mohwee offers to stay since he believes both Soup and Ori would be better at ensuring the group as a wholes survival, in the end Owen stands on the pressure plate and orders the others out.

-Rasbi and Apo demand he come with them, they'll find another way, there's always another way. Owen tries to explain that it's fine that of all of them he deserves to escape the least and Rasbi screams at him that she doesn't care, he doesn't get to break up fruit trio like this. Ori pleas with Owen that he'll stay but Owen won't budge and says they should say their goodbyes since they need to leave. He has to get Kyle to drag Ori out of the room. Bek gives Owen her sword insisting that if anyone could get out of this it's him. Gracie firmly tells Owen that she's ordering him not to die and to catch up with them as soon as he can. He salutes just before the door closes, saying goodbye with a quick, yes ma'am.

-They hear the explosion through the door but Magic insist he's he fine, no one argues with her. They don't want to voice the only other conclusion

-Camping in the Mushroom Room is the first break the get and everything catches up with them pretty quick. Apo refuses to talk about Owen or really talk at all till Reddons drags him into a conversation with Mohwee and Rasbi about Maze theories since they're almost out, he insist they place bets on what they'll find at the end

-Soup cleans up Krows arm injury, amputating it, and Acho thanks him for the save. It and Kyle have a good heart to heart here as well, saying some long over do apology that are sincere this time

-Squidney, Spidey, and Ayngel drag everyone into campfire songs to cheer up Gracie and Magic

-Guts has a really good singing voice

-Oeca doesn't sing but does awkwardly pat Gracie on the back in his own form of comfort.

-Ori goes off to his own mushroom, his deal weighing heavily on him, Bek sits beside him and without prompting Ori says he can't explain but that he messed up. She reassures him he didn't, firmly stating that they're all doing the best they can and even if he made a mistake they'll be by his side to help him pick up the pieces.

-Krow is still the one to display its memories and has a meltdown but everyone is silent in shock after the visions end, and with no harsh words to lash out at it just breaks down screaming about how it did what it had to do. It was it or them, Krow had to, they have to understand it didn't want to hurt them but, it had to. It didn't want to hurt anyone.

-Ayngel interupts Krow's spiral by pulling him into a hug, ignoring how it digs its claws into her reflexively, and promises him they understand. Soup assures him that plenty of them have done bad things. Reddons cracks a joke about being the court jester to Krows empire when he takes over as the one true dragon born. They feel ok when they finally open the door, ready to move forward.

-The mood is ruined when the Watchers burst in and suddenly start ordering them around. Though they can't really fight all of them they still scream and argue, and in Krows case bite, when they try to drag Magic away. They swear they'll get her back and she yells for them to be careful. Still they're separated.

-A momentous occasion for the audience, almost an entire cast leaving the Maze, such a shame about that disgraced war General though, so close.

-Bek is horrified to step out out on that stage to find this whole time she has been a star and now the idea is sickening

-Apo furiously yelling about theories and ideas he got wrong

-Oeca definitely tries to argue his simulation thing was close enough to win the betting pool to Reddons who insist that technically Acho won with his lab rat science experiment bet

-Kyle shielding Acho from everyone's staring eyes

-Mohwee and Spidey getting so angry right away that Squidney and Guts forcibly hold them back from attacking the announcer or the audience

-Ayngel stopping Krow from doing the same

-Gracie and Soup going into numb shock and just sitting down and staring, not saying anything at all

-Rasbi has a full blown panic attack on the stage overwhelmed by the yelling and cheering and Ori calms her down

-Meanwhile Magic stand before her father again, stronger but not they way he wanted. She demamd she and her friends be let go and he spills the beans on Ori's deal, noting that they were in fact, 1 member down. Magic argues that he knew someone had to be left behind and set them up, and he agrees saying that he rigged the bet in his favor, something he hopes she can understand. Magic starts talking about how she's better than him, stronger because of her compassion not weaker. He begins to point out her failing as leader of clearing 2 and belitting her for getting Ash killed. Before Magic and argue though Owen comes out of a vent in the wall, furious and ready to defend his friend.

-Owen after letting his friends leave searched around the room for some sort of out, trying to brute force his way back the way he came but instead finds a floor grate hidden under some carpeting. He uses the sword to force his way through and starts to climb through the vents to find his way back to the others. Hearing Magic yelling through the vents he follows her voice to the office.

-They either kill him or get him to agree to letting them go, unsure which direction I like more but result is the same, they leave this place and head out into the world with nothing really on them.

-This got really long and I need to sleep so after maze life tmrw because, wow things will not be the sane after this realization about the maze.

#outsiders smp #outsidersblr #apokuna #gutsluvr #krowfang #rasbi #reddoons #graecie #justayngle #magicsings #oeca #orilovestea #kyleeff #acho #owengejuicetv #bekyamon #squidney80 #spideyarmy #mohwee #justayngel #TalkItOutAu

[artsy-dreamer]

Okay, dumb crack post time XD If the roommates AU trio were plushies... Shinsou would be an oversized jumbo cat plush, Ojiro would be a monkey pillow pet, and Denki would be a little koala plush with Velcro hands and feet (like the kind you’d get in the gift shop at the zoo)

#artsy talks #roommates au #oh man you KNOW you’re running out of steam #when THIS is all you can come up with for a post 🤣 #im scared that maybe I wrung all the fun out of this au?? #that thought makes me really sad ;-; I don’t want it to end?? #but I’m out of inspo... I’ve barely even been able to play with it in my head #much less spill out tons of random headcanons in my journal like I used to #this was my comfort au... my coping mechanism in these crazy times... #I had a nice day for the first time in a while and now I’m ruining it #with all my stupid overthinking again #and I’m sure I’m ruining everyone else’s day by being a downer in the tags again #dang it this was supposed to be a short silly post

[frogsinmyhoodie]

PLEASE tell me more about ur teenaged greg.. I hold him gentle in my arms!!!1

I’m so glad you asked :3 these got a bit out of hand 😅

- he’s kind of dropped out of high school, at least mostly anyway. His mom still isn’t over Wirts “death” and doesn’t have the energy to scold him about it. A combo of adhd and his teachers constantly comparing him to Wirt made it too much for him

- when he was still a kid his parents tried to get him therapy for his belief in the unknown. The doctors told them it was a healthy coping mechanism so they dropped it. As he got older he became infatuated with crypids and the paranormal, and even more interested in figuring out what exactly the unknown was and how to get back. He started small and by the time the au takes place he’s about 16 and has actual equipment and progress

- he wears that dumb teapot around more often then he should. His friends think it’s cool and that’s enough for him

- he has a tattoo he absolutely was too young to get of a edelwood tree on his back. It’s his way of taking power away from the beast.

- insomnia has been a pretty big problem since the accident. Nightmares of turning into a tree, Wirt turning into a tree and him being too late, or both of them turning into trees are frequent. They got worse as he got older and began to fully understand the situation. He has meds to help him sleep now.

- he’s actually well known for being a paranormal investigator, he has a small group of misfits and has successfully found hauntings in the area

- He picks up clarinet as well as other instruments like the trumpet and guitar, and plays Wirts old clarinet when he’s out of the house (he doesn’t want his mom to be reminded of Wirt :()

- He picked up a lot from Wirt, actually. He wears a lot of his old clothes that aren’t too nerdy and is still devoted to preserving his memory. Of course, it’s cause he doesn’t think Wirts really dead and still thinks he can save him from the unknown, but he stopped telling people (aside from his close friends) that out load when he realized it made him sound crazy. He has a bluebird necklace that used to belong to Wirt that he never takes off.

- he uses cassette tapes to record a lot of investigations, as a homage to Wirt

- he also uses Wirts cassette player for personal use. He records songs and uses it as a personal diary. He started talking to Wirt through it too, telling it about his feelings about his trauma and everyday things. Their labeled “for Wirt” and left at the bottom of the garden wall. Mysteriously, their never there when he comes back to add more…

- Sara was a reallly good adult figure for him. She used to walk him to and from school, take him to parks, be a shoulder to cry on. His mom didn’t approve of her being around at first, she unfairly blamed Sara and the rest of Wirts friends for the accident. She couldn’t stop her though since she had seeped far enough into her own guilt to be neglectful and someone had to be there emotionally for Greg.

- his dad on the other hand is kind of hot and cold. Before the accident he was doting and loving, but after most of his time was spent comforting his mom. His dad wanted him to get over Wirt for a while, saying things like “he was a terrible brother anyway” and oh boy that did not help. Their relationship improved a bit in high school since his dad was the music teacher, until he dropped out. Greg doesn’t really know how to talk to either of his parents. They didn’t believe him about the unknown or the trauma that came from it, so what would they believe? It leads to a lot of “they don’t need to knows”, he still hasn’t told them about the tattoo or come out of the closet to them yet.

- More on Wirt, a big reason he still thinks he’s alive is cause they never found his body. The adults assumed he pulled Greg out of the water and then sank. Greg’s half right. Wirts still alive kinda, as alive as the Beast can get.

- if Greg was actually able to re-enter the unknown, I can’t imagine it would bode well. His brother transformed into the very thing that traumatized him for years after all. I’m thinking of writing a fic about this scenario actually

#brain empty only Greg thoughts #asks 🍂 #should I put this in the tags #eh yeah #over the garden wall #otgw #aus 🍂

[deleteddewewted]

Hey, I just read your Kurogiri omega and was wondering if you could do a part 2, but with Kurogiri remembering his time in the AU when he was Obroro and how he met the alpha reader until the day of his "likely" death?!

I've been trying to find an excuse to continue that, so thank you for being that excuse, anon!

Omega! Kurogiri Part 2

🚨spoilers🚨

Kurogiri x M! Reader

Omega! Kurogiri Headcanons Part 1

TW: Angst, Death, Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

You couldn’t tell him he was your mate. It would place you and him in danger.

You kept going to Tartarus to visit him but decreased the frequency of them.

Kurogiri did not take this lightly.

You were leaving him again.

You both had built something meaningful and you were leaving.

Kurogiri laid down on the bed he was given and stared blankly ahead of him.

The world became dimmer as the time passed. Eventually his eyes closed and he drifted away to the lovely abyss of sleep.

“Shirakumo!” The blue mist haired boy turned around and spotted his two friends call out to him.

Yamada, the loud blond, was dragging the dark hair Aizawa with him. He looked eager to tell him something.

“Hey man! Uh, something going?” He asked. Yamada was way to energetic for it to be his usual and Aizawa didn’t look all that annoyed either.

“You won’t believe it man! One of our classmates is super hot!” Yamadas face held a small blush to it while Aizawa turned his head around to ignore them.

He was also blushing.

Shirakumo laughed at the two and wrapped his arm around Aizawa's neck.

"Oh really? Tell me more." He teased.

Yamada gave him an entire speech about how their classmate was hot as fuck and how the guys name was really pretty. He was fanboying over someone he barely knew.

Shirakumo thought it was cute how affected Yamada was by the new student so he couldn't wait to meet him.

When he did meet you, his inner omega purred.

Everything about you was perfect and beautiful to him.

He wanted to get to know you better.

Thats what allowed a friendship to bloom between you both.

He smiled a lot throughout the day but it became brighter when you would walk into the room.

His omega purred at him, begging him to get closer to you so he could take your scent in. Look at your beautiful eyes and your beautiful face.

You would catch him staring at you, the lingering trail of smokey blue hair giving him away every time.

You also liked him, a lot actually.

Easy on the eyes but with a big personality.

Welcoming, comforting, everything you would ever want in a significant other.

You found it endearing how he took the initiative to keep Aizawa away from rude and mean people.

You could also see how your guys friend, Yamada, would falter. His smile dropping for a moment when he thought no one was watching.

That always happened when Aizawa and Shirakumo were together.

You were all young, so it didn't matter who was dating who or what the future would hold. The now was more important then anything else.

Shirakumo contemplated what he could do to court you.

He jumped to the conclusion of courting instead of asking you if you were wanting to try a relationship with anyone.

He told Aizawa and the black haired boy just looked at him. His eyes saying something that his mouth wouldn't.

Didn't matter how well Shirakumo knew him, he didn't know how to read his eyes.

"Should i get him a bouquet? Maybe his favorite foods? Ah, i dont know what to do! Aizawa help me!" Aizawa recommended he just asked you out.

"You're so not romantic, but i still love you." He missed how much his words affected Aizawa. The black haired boys face was tinted red, his neck taking most of the blush he couldn't show on his cheeks.

Shirakumo made up every possible scenario inside of his own head and instead asked Yamada for some help.

"Yo! You should totally make a dramatic confession!" Shirakumo and Yamada planned everything out.

It did not go well.

You made it clear to him that you weren't looking for anything at the moment and that you just wanted to be friends with him.

Shirakumo and his omega became upset. His spring like scent became muddled, dirty water and a harsh smell overlaying itslef in a thick blanket.

His personality didn't change around you, he was still smiles and laughter.

When class would finish he would walk with Aizawa back to the train station and vent about everything you did that day.

"He looked so handsome eating that pudding and the way he leaned on his arm. So hot." Shirakumo sighed.

Aizawa felt very conflicted. He was happy for his friend but something else made itself present when he spoke about being with you.

Shirakumos pinning wouldn't stop and it finally got to a point were he would openly flirt with you.

You didn't mind it, in reality, you were as much of a flirt back.

This game between the two of you played out with him complementing you with big charades.

You would be more tactile. Occasionally touching his arms or running your hands threw his smoke hair.

It was pleasant. His hair parting into tendrils and at times having a mind of its own.

It would wrap itself around your wrist preventing you from removing your hand.

Enough time had passed that you felt like pursuing something more with him.

Something more romantic.

Shirakumo dragged you to the roof top one day.

All he said was that it was important.

"I like you, a lot. You're just so...handsome and pretty and beautiful and everything else thats good really." He stopped and began to walk around the roof top of the school.

"My omega is going nuts with your scent and it honestly drives me crazy too." Shirakumo danced around you.

"If you only knew how much i want to hold you and kiss you every time you help Aizawa out. That one time you helped that omega by fighting those meat heads off of them. Purring for you, baby!" Shirakumo got close to the roofs edge.

"Everything about you makes me and my omega want you. I-" Shirakumo slipped from the edge and fell.

You ran to catch him, maybe you could save him.

Shirakumo would most likely die, you wouldn't get there on time to catch him.

Your heart pulled with dread and dropped when you heard him scream.

Then, a peak of mist made itself seen from the edge of the roof.

“Shirakumo!” You yelled at him as he floated above you.

He flew around in his cloud, circling around you laughing.

“Was that intentionally?” You asked once he got down from his cloud.

His face became red as he watched you look at him expectingly.

“Ah, yeah?” You laught at his response and pulled him towards you.

You ran your fingers threw his smoke like hair and cupped his cheek in your hand, thumb gently caressing his face.

“You know? You should really stick to just two word phrases. I don’t think you have the mental capacity or brain cells for anything more.” You teased.

He gave you a goofy smile while he practically melted into your touch.

You were heaven and safety for him.

His inner omega begging him to ask you to be his mate. To bond. To do everything with you.

To be yours and you be his alpha.

His mouth a body moved on their own. He couldn't stop himself from getting closer to you and wrapping his arms around you.

"I'm sorry,” He stared at your eyes and admired them more a moment, “but you’re to perfect to just put into two words.”

Shirakumo closed the gap between you two and kissed you.

Both you and him, and your secondary sexes, we’re overwhelmed and overjoyed.

It was a thrilling emotion that coursed through you. The giddiness of being able to say that this was someone you would like to invest all of your time on.

You both loved each other so much, nothing in that moment or the ones to come could ruin that.

Then in your second year, Aizawa brought you Shirakumos speaker.

It was battered and broken. Wet.

Destroyed.

Aizawa said nothing to you, the other alpha walked away from you without batting an eye or even acknowledging the blond beta running after him.

You felt your legs give way as you fell to the floor. Vision becoming blurry and warm streaks falling down your face.

“So what should we do? We both want to mate but we can’t risk our careers.” “Don’t worry about Y/n. You’re already my mate. My omega is telling me that you’ve already been accepted and naturally, I’m always glad to call you mine. Fuck the rules!” “Sure, whatever you say, my mate.”

The happy memories and the planned out future you both had with each other was now just a dream.

It was delusion you had set yourself up for.

Your mate was gone.

“So that’s who you are.” Kurogiri spoke into the empty cell. The dream having woken him up.

He turned to lay on his side and stared at the invisible cell door.

He didn’t attempt to fall back to sleep.

You laid awake in bed, face pressed into an old jacket that was clearly worn down.

It was faded in color and no longer had that signature scent you adored so much.

It no longer smelled like spring.

Or like fresh air.

It smelled like you and your laundry detergent.

Your mate was dead and you both never got the chance to make it official.

Would never have a family of your own. Never have your first anything together.

Never have another moment with each other.

He was gone and yet still here.

Your mate was a terrorist who found no issue in killing others.

“Goodnight…my omega. Sweet dreams, Oboro.” You drifted off to sleep once your eyes closed.

#mha #bnha #kurogiri #kurogiri mha #my hero academia #kurogiri x reader #kurogiri x m! reader #kurogiri x y/n #oboro shirakumo #oboro shirakumo x reader #shirakumo #omega shirakumo #omega kurogiri #mha omegaverse #alpha reader #omega character x alpha reader #angst #shirakumo oboro #shirakumo x reader #omega au

[novelist-becca]

TOH Fanfic recs! Part 1

(All of these people are my inspiration I stg)

Found family

Make my heart your home series by @tiredandjaded

First fic: Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and they both have a crisis over it. Mostly Luz. Second fic: post-YBOS, Luz tells Eda and Lilith of what happened during the rescue mission, and both Luz and Eda give Lilith a shovel talk. Third fic: Luz and Eda are both taking care of each other in the first seven days after coming home. Includes fun sibling bonding!

(Patiently awaiting the next chapter of the third installment!)

Literally anything by @hereforthehurts

The way they write emotions and hurt/comfort is seriously amazing. Never fails to make me cry, especially when it comes to sickfics and fics of Eda and Luz. (I recommend supporting them on Ko-Fi!)

You Are My Sunshine by @liesminelli

One of the first Owl House fics I ever read, and it's SO good! Luz has a night terror and Eda walks in on her freaking out, and it goes from there. The emotions of both characters are very well-written, and the ending is so sweet! I also recommend checking out their other works too!

It's The Least I Could Do by @witchesbeforewizardss

There aren't enough fics of Luz and Lilith bonding, and this is one of the BEST ones. Lilith needs more healthy relationships, and in my opinion, building an aunt-niece relationship with Luz is a great place to start! (next to making amends with Eda) Basically, Luz is feeling homesick, and before dinner, she allows Lilith to help her feel better.

Luz's Not So Great Luck and

A Friendly Beastly Surprise by @animerunner

The first fic has a large abundance of angsty scenarios, mostly AUs, all of which are wonderful to read. My personal favorite is the one where Luz is an orphan and she has a chronic illness, and well, you'll have to read to find out! The second one is canon compliant, and it's about Eda turning into the Owl Beast and treating Luz like an owlet, and Luz is just like "guess this is my life now". It's so cute!

Rainy Day Makeovers by @fallenflowersfromgrace

To summarize, There's boiling rain, and Luz convinces Eda to spend time with her giving each other makeovers. It's very cute, and I love it!

Some Honesty Before Breakfast by @pizzaboat

Eda notices Luz is acting unusual, and gets her to open up. It's in-character, and wonderfully executed.

Thank you for being in my life by @peridot-garcia

Episodes of The Owl House from Eda's perspective, and as of now, also Luz and Lilith's perspective. It's got wonderful found family scenarios, and so far the plot is pretty great!

Lighting up the Dark by The_Quoter

This is a very recent one, and I love it! It's post-Young Blood Old Souls, and Eda comes to terms with how much Luz means to her, while also helping her come out of a nightmare.

The Light Behind Your Eyes by ABirdinFlight

Post-Young Blood. Eda gives Lilith a shovel-talk (harsh but well-deserved) and has a heart-to-heart talk with Luz in her room.

Moonlit Masquerade: Replacement by Rohad

Similar to make my heart your home, Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and both of them have a crisis over it. (As expected!)

Bad Days by @drabbles-of-writing

Part of their Four Years AU, Luz has an episode, and Eda takes her home to help her calm down. It's very bittersweet and heartfelt.

Gratuitous Embellishments of Chicken Noodle Soup by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails

Luz almost drowns at the Knee, but her Owl Mom is there to help her get better, including making her soup! (Yeah, my fic Snow Day was inspired by this)

A Line Crossed by Clevinger

AU in which Luz dies by the spikes at the bridge, in front of Eda, who thankfully resurrects her, and as expected, Luz is having a hard time handling it. There's another work inspired by it called Too Much, Too Late by TheHonestyBird.

A nightmare and a hug by moreteaplease

Reeaaally hard to find since it doesn't have the relationship tag for Luz and Eda, but still, it's very good! Post-YBOS, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort, confessing that she misses her mom.

Sleepless Nights by @snail-watch

Similar to the one before this, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort. I loved the way the author wrote Eda's thoughts about Luz!

Mending Trust by @electricwalkman

Similar to The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and Luz tells her about the portal being destroyed, and gives her the mask piece. Eda comforts her, as well.

Night Owl and

The Bad Dream Club by @thedrunkenwerewolf / @wolfiethewriter

Eda has trouble sleeping, Luz notices, and Eda confessed that she's scared of hurting Luz as the beast. Luz of course, reassures her by telling her it won't happen. The second fic is the other way around, sorta. Luz has a nightmare and gets herself a drink to calm down, and Eda finds her.

Dreams of a Witch by TheDinosaurNerd

Eda talks to her younger self in her mindscape about her life as a wild witch. (In the end it turns out to be Luz in her lap.)

Griffon Flu by @serendipitouslyss

Another great sickfic! Luz gets the flu, or Griffon Flu as it's called in the Boiling Isles, but Eda and King are more than willing to help her get better.

Owlet by spotty8bee

Ah, the cursed AU that started it all. Only 2 chapters, but it's wonderfully heartbreaking and you really feel for Eda in the second half of chapter 1.

Observations of the Witchy Kind by JoLau

If you like platonic cuddling, you'll love this fic! Luz wants to learn about witch biology, but unfortunately Boscha burns the notebook that had her research, so she tries to rewrite her observations, and ends up catching Eda's attention.

I Need You, Please Don't Leave Me by rainbowpotato12

Luz is having bad thoughts, and worries that something bad could happen to Eda again, but Eda reassures her it won't.

This is Home by SpaghettieBabie

Luz has doubts about herself, and opens up to Eda about it, confessing that she likes her as her mother figure.

I Love the Found Family Trope! by @l-egionaire

Takes place after The Intruder. Eda thinks that Luz and King might leave her after knowing about the curse, and they tell her they would never do that.

Nightmare by OneandOnlyOllie

Another nightmare fic! Eda comforts Luz after a nightmare. Lilith hears the two, and wants to make things right with Luz.

It was not, in fact, a day out by @pizzaboat

Post-YBOS. Eda turns into the Owl Beast, tries to cuddle Luz, Lilith and King in her nest, and they have to come up with a working scheme to turn her back. Basically The Intruder if Lilith was there.

A broken brain by @pizzaboat

I can relate to this one a lot (except my adhd is diagnosed). Luz has trouble focusing on homework, and doesn't know why, and tells Eda she thinks she's going crazy, but Eda tells her she's not, and that Lilith had a similar problem.

What big claws (to protect you with my dear) by @ito-itonomen

AU where Luz is 10 and Eda takes her in, and both of them have doubts about themselves. Chapter 2 is especially good.

Unexpected Hope by @sepublic

Luz talks to Lilith about how she had (surprisingly) inspired her.

Lilith and Eda

Mistakes Might Have Been Made by @fallenflowersfromgrace

WARNING: you will definitely cry in the second chapter!

An AU in which Lilith split the curse with Eda the first time she transformed. Of course, by the time she reveals that she cursed her, it doesn't go well. (Eda's reaction hurts, but it's in character) and the pain in chapter 2 is just…AGONY AND ITS SO GOOD!

Walk Through the Storm, I Would by @lilithswxfe

Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts in this fic.

Lilith tries to hurt herself while in a bad state, but Eda catches her and comforts her.

Source Decay series by @tiredandjaded

Trigger warning for underage drinking in the second fic.

Two pre-canon fics about Lilith and Eda, the first fic portraying Eda as trans and how she's feeling about her name, and how Lilith helps her. The second one is sadder, it's after the curse and Eda isn't taking Lilith coming home late very well, leading to some…not-so-great coping mechanisms.

Rabbit Heart by radiantstaber

It has found family Owl Mom moments, but then it is mostly about Lilith and Eda rebuilding their relationship, with Luz trying her best to encourage both of them. (The description is very funny, describing the Owl House as a get along shirt.)

The Cafeteria Incident by @electricwalkman

Remember that page from Eda's record about Eda summoning abominations because somebody stole Lilith's lunch money? This is based on that, and it's SO GOOD!

Runaway Raven by @witchesbeforewizardss

Trigger warning for graphic injuries

In both Lilith thinks she doesn't belong with her family in the Owl House, and tries to "punish" herself. Eda convinces her that it's not worth it and she just wants her sister back.

The Long Night by @serendipitouslyss

Post-YBOS, just like The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and she and Lilith have a long talk. (Though she's not as harsh.)

A Midnight Talk by @elizabethemerald

Lilith sees Luz having a nightmare, and calms her down for a little bit (via stroking her hair). Eda sees her, and the two have a talk.

I Need a Moment to Quiet This Pain by @come-unhinged

Moments in Eda's life and how she dealt with her curse.

Part 2 might have Lumity idk

#long post #fanfic recommendation #fanfic #fanfiction #fic recs #the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house fanfiction #found family #Luz noceda #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #Lilith clawthorne #Clawthorne sisters #eda the owl lady #eda the owl mom #mom Eda

[lilbabycee]

bunny // steve rogers (part two) 🐰

READ PART ONE

↳ summary: the reader gets an unwelcome visitor

↳ relationship: soft dark!steve rogers x brat!reader

↳ word count: 5.3k

↳ warnings: sugar baby au, eventual dark steve, daddy kink, eventual smut, mentions of substance abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms + relationships, the reader is rich and a little bit of a bitch

↳ author’s note: it’s back! :) enjoy my loves! x

chapter two: it was for me too

---

"if you really listen, then this is to you mama, there is only so much I can do tough for you to witness it but it was for me too"

- r.i.p 2 my youth, the neighbourhood

---

You can do nothing but nod dumbly, eyes roaming the large figure standing in front of you. The only thing that snaps you out of your trance is Natasha’s quiet exhalation of breath through her nose, her little laugh making you woman up and place your hand in Steve’s larger one.

“Likewise,” you speak lightly, your words little more than puffs of air escaping your mouth. His eyes don’t leave yours for a second and the longer you look at his face, the more that you start to believe that you know him from somewhere. But he drops your hand the moment that recognition starts to claw at your brain and the up-and-down look that he gives you snaps you out of any deep thought.

“So, bunny,” a teasing voice comes from beside you, causing you to tear your eyes away from Steve’s. From the way he’s smirking at you, you assume that Sam was the one who spoke up. Turning your whole body away from Steve, you saunter up to the handsome man glowing like bronze underneath the warm light and take the drink he pours for you with a sultry smile - and you know that you should never take drinks from strangers but without really knowing why, you already trust this man.

“That’s me,” you throw him a wink, sipping from the glass slowly.

“Where’d you get a name like that?” He pats the arm of the sofa and as your smile grows, you perch yourself on it, crossing one leg over the other. Natasha follows your lead, situating herself on an armchair to your right, in between the couch that Steve sits on and the one that holds you, Bucky, and Sam. You open your mouth about to answer Sam’s question, but Natasha swiftly steps in.

“I gave it to her,” she grins, running a hand through her loose waves. You can see both Sam and Bucky’s eyes follow her movements which makes you laugh a little, the hunger displayed in both the pools of brown and blue almost overtly obvious.

“Why?” Bucky’s voice rasps, his tongue coming out to wet his lips. Your eyes can’t help but follow the movement - you’re not blind and he’s a very attractive man - but you stop short when you realize that someone is searing holes into the back of your neck. Looking to the side, you can see that Steve has sat down in his previous seat, hands resting on thick thighs and legs spread wide.

His eyes are on you - unflinchingly, you note, even as yours meet his; it’s obvious that he saw your eyes glued to Bucky’s lips. You engage in a quick staring match and even though you’re not usually the type to back down easily, the way that your face heats up and his gaze makes you feel has you looking away after merely a few seconds.

Your eyes refocus on Natasha and stay there.

“It’s because she’s like the energizer bunny,” your best friend snorts, taking the proffered glass of rosé from Sam’s hand and taking a sip. Her statement makes all the men laugh - apart from Vision because he’s too busy whispering in Wanda’s ear for him to be involved in the rest of the conversation and by Wanda’s reaction, you can tell that their conversation isn’t exactly fit for public consumption.

Natasha continues, tracing a finger along the rim of her glass, “Once she gets on something, it’s… she’s, like, stuck on it, you know? Can’t get enough of it - she goes crazy over it, gets super excited and stuff. It’s cute-”

You interrupt her with a groan, causing a chorus of laughs and ooh’s to rise from the group. “Nat- I-I don’t even like that nickname anyway. I’d rather you call me literally anything else-”

“Okay, bunny,” Bucky grins at you and you reach over Sam to swat at his very hard arm, all traces of your previous nervousness having dissipated with the alcohol. Your hand comes back sore but to humor you, you suppose, Bucky recoils from you and dramatically sinks down in his chair, wailing exaggeratedly.

“Sounds good, bunny,” Sam joins in, flashing you a cheeky smile that only earns him a blow on his equally thick bicep that leaves your hand stinging but he too rubs at his arm after drawing a sharp intake of air through his teeth. They’re funny, so you throw your head back and laugh - really laugh - and find yourself slipping off the side of the couch and into Sam’s lap. You let out a little squeal as Natasha and Bucky laugh at you.

“Whoa there, bunny,” Sam chuckles, hands immediately coming up to grip your waist tightly. “Slow your roll.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, but you’re only mock-annoyed: “Christ, Sam, take a girl out on a date first.”

The response you get from the man underneath you is mirthful - “You’re the one who landed on me, darlin’” - and causes you to smile, but then you feel it again , his eyes so intently focused on the side of your face. You choose to ignore it because if this guy has a staring problem, he can take it up with-

“-you,” Bucky flicks Sam’s ear playfully. “I get plenty of women.”

“Oh yeah, Barnes? ‘Cause your lap is lookin’ awfully empty -”

And the two go back and forth like this for what seems like an eternity. You know that you’ve lost Wanda to Viz , the seat that they once occupied currently vacant. You kind of want to be annoyed at her because she promised that she’d help you with what you really came here for in the first place, but you can’t because, for the past few weeks, you and Natasha have kind of maybe been avoiding her to some degree because, really and truly, she’s been such an uptight bitch - and you say that in the nicest way possible - so you want her to get some dick in peace so that she can release all of that backed-up tension.

You love her, really, but a sexually frustrated Wanda has the potential to rival your mother in terms of how completely unbearable they are to be around.

You turn to speak to Natasha but then Steve clears his throat loud enough for everyone to hear which causes all chatter to cease. He sighs loudly, running a hand over his bearded jaw before he speaks. You can’t help but take some more time to admire the beauty of his jawline, so defined and sharp that you wonder if it could cut up the skin on the insides of your thighs-

“I mean, while I’d love to continue this,” Steve checks his Rolex, “we should probably get down to what you girls really came for.” His eyes land pointedly on you, and you realize that you’re still sat comfortably on Sam’s lap. You sit back even further, wrapping your arm around Sam’s shoulders. Steve’s fists are clenched so hard that you’re sure that his blunt nails are digging into the palms of his hands.

You decide that you’re not going to move.

“Right,” your best friend leans forward to put her empty glass on the coffee table where your own lies and clears her throat. She then says your name and gestures vaguely to where you’re sitting, “she’s looking for an arrangement similar to what Wanda and Vision have-”

“-and since Wanda isn’t here to help us explain exactly what all of that consists of,” you butt in, pressing your long thumbnail to your lower lip and pushing it into your mouth, “we were wondering if you gentlemen would be kind enough to help us out?”

Natasha’s head snaps to yours, her eyebrow raised in a way that says this is not what we agreed on and you reply with it’s fine, but then she responds with why don’t we just wait for Wanda and you don’t even think that warrants a reply. You give her a deadpan look and she physically holds her hands up in surrender; you both know that Wanda’s not coming home with the two of you tonight. The three men around you look lost so you direct your attention back to them.

“So?” you follow up, sucking lightly on the end of your nail. Even from where you’re sitting, you can see Steve’s darkened eyes - his pupils are blown and they only leave a thin ring of blue around them. The rise and fall of his broad chest has gotten just that little bit faster.

He’s so pretty.

“The arrangements are different for all of us,” Bucky downs the amber liquid in his glass. “So it’d just depend on who you’re interested in gettin’ to know, doll. Got anyone in mind right off the bat?”

Oh wow - you didn’t expect to be put on the spot like this so early into this conversation. But you don’t mind; the pressure or awkwardness that should come with a question like this in a situation as unique as this one doesn’t come. You only smile coyly, batting your eyelashes and looking down.

“Oh, well,” you start shyly, swinging your legs innocently. “I don’t really know about all that yet-”

“It’s alright, bunny,” the voice ignites a fire in your veins so you know who’s just spoken. “We’ll make this decision easy for you. She’s mine, boys.”

This makes you choke yet again, causing you to clear your throat loudly. Your fingertips press down on your cheeks just to see how warm your face really is from this blatant stake of his claim on you. Normally, you’d be the first one to protest, completely indignant that this man thinks that he owns you in any capacity. But there’s none of that kind of passion here; rather, you’re more- no, probably not- no, definitely turned on by his words.

The two other men, much like Natasha did only a minute ago, throw their hands up in acquiescence. In fact, they both seem so moved by Steve’s words that they trip over each other to speak.

“Yeah, that’s all good, man.”

“Sounds good to me, pal.”

There’s a lull in the conversation while you all digest the implications of Steve’s exclamation. You twist your fingers together, scraping your nails against each other.

“So,” you drag out the last syllable. “Is there some kind of… contract or something?”

---

You wake up in a bed that feels far too crowded to be your own. There’s a body wrapped around yours, another set of legs intertwined with yours and an arm draped over your torso. In your groggy state, it takes all the willpower that you can summon to turn your head to the left and check who the fuck is sleeping in next to you in- your bed (???).

The hand of the arm that isn’t currently being pinned down by another human being comes up to rub at your eyes, clearing up your bleary vision so that you can try to successfully identify your intruder.

You could say that you’ve never woken up in a situation like this but that would be a lie and your New Year’s resolution this year was that you’d try to be more honest - so the truth is that this is definitely not the first time that you’ve woken up in a situation like this and if anything, this is probably the safest you’ve felt out of all of those scenarios.

Half of the person’s head is buried underneath the duvet so you squint a little in the obnoxiously bright morning light - you silently curse the sun for not wanting to take a fucking day off today - so that you can try to make out a defining feature of the body on top of you. Once your eyes focus, the mop of red hair spread across the white sheets makes you groan and close your eyes again.

You honestly didn’t have a game plan if it wasn’t Natasha.

Confused, you attempt to think back to exactly what happened last night. Since you’ve woken up with Natasha, you give yourself the benefit of the doubt and assume that nothing too compromising happened last night. After nights like Peter’s, you normally cannot immediately recognize the person next to you, so you’re going to take this as a glass half full kind of moment and call it a plus.

Nothing illegal took place as far as you can remember which is another first for you - apart from your excessive underage drinking but you turn twenty-one in a year so you shrug it off.

Wow, maybe I am growing.

After your conversation with those men - there was no contract - you had sent Wanda a text to let her know that you and Natasha were heading home. There was nothing at this party that you hadn’t seen before, so frankly, your work there was done and you had no more business at Peter’s. Speaking of, you did manage to run into him right before you left just to say goodbye to him - ever the gracious guest - and tease him some more about MJ. Naturally, he turned redder than the burgundy suit pants he was wearing and gave both you and Nat kisses on the cheek before almost running away from the two of you.

That gave you a good laugh.

You were halfway to Nat’s car when none other than Steve Rogers appeared from the shadows to put your number on his phone. He said nothing other than I’ll call you before walking further down the valet parking to get his own car. Natasha beeped her horn at you when she saw you lingering - you were staring at his ass - so you hurried to hop in the passenger’s seat of her black sports car after she shouted for you to get in the Porsche or I’m leaving your ass on the side of the road.

And now your phone rings; you can’t help that the weaker side of your brain wants so badly for it to be Steve. He left you with a promise - albeit a vague one - and you think that you’re going to hold him to that, although you don’t know how exactly how you’d go about that since he’s the one who has your number.

Shit.

Natasha groans loudly at the shrill noise coming from your phone speakers, grabbing a pillow and shoving it over her face.

She says your name exasperatedly, “I thought I told you to put that shit on silent-”

“Sorry, sorry,” you tell her, rolling your eyes because you don’t remember her telling you that, and then you sit up. At this moment, you realize that you actually aren’t in your own apartment and are in Natasha’s very grey and white bedroom that you always have something critical to say about. Reaching for your phone, you’re shocked that it’s not dead and is at a respectable 16%. The caller ID shows you nothing useful - unknown caller - and this only gives you some more hope that it’s the handsome man you met last night. You clear your throat before pressing that green button.

“Hello?” you wince at the dryness of your throat, spying an unopened water bottle next to where your phone lay. You grab it and pop the cap hastily, taking a swig while you wait for the reply of the other person.

A very distinctly feminine squeal makes you sigh in disappointment before you pause, the familiar voice making you smile sleepily.

“Shit- fuck, get out of my way- brother-” the person says your name loudly and you know by the rich accent and the impatient tone that it’s-

“Shuri,” you muster up as much enthusiasm as you can for a call this early in the morning - you pull your phone back from your ear to see that it’s actually already 10:33 a.m and wince - because you are actually genuinely excited to hear from your Wakandan best friend. Natasha pulls the pillow off her face at the sound of the girl’s voice through the speaker, and a grin of her own lights up her face.

“Hi, bitch!” Shuri yells and you close your eyes, shaking your head but smiling nonetheless. “I’m almost at your place - I’ll be there in ten.”

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of your chest and you rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Whose phone are you calling from? And Shuri, I’m not at home right now-”

“‘Koye’s - mine’s dead and in the back. Are you with Nat?”

“Well, yeah-”

“Are you two fucking? Without me? ”

The redhead next to you can’t contain her laughter either, curled up in the sheets next to you gasping for breaths.

“Sorry to break it you like this, babe,” you play along. “No, Peter had a party last night-”

“I know - I heard about it. Sounded like fun, but my Baba and I had to do some appearances in D.C yesterday before we came to this goddamn crowded city- brother, I’ll call it whatever I want to call it - Bast, get out of the car.”

There’s some rustling and the sound of a car door slamming before Shuri releases a deep, tired breath.

“I didn’t know you were coming this week,” Natasha has sidled up next to you, resting her head on your shoulder so that Shuri can hear her voice after putting your phone on speaker.

“Neither did I,” the Wakandan princess snorts, the sound of deafening car horns and faint yelling in the background almost drowning out her lilted tone. “It was kind of a last-minute decision. But enough about me - you don’t care about all this stuff. I heard you guys met with Bucky Barnes last night-”

“How do you know Bucky?” You frown, picking at your nails.

“Long story,” she says flippantly, sighing before clearing her throat. “But that’s not the point - I know what kinda guy Bucky Barnes is. What kinda business did you two have hanging around people like that?”

“Well, I wanna hear the story-”

“Shut up,” Natasha doesn’t even look at you when she says the words. “We’re- actually, it’s not even me- she’s looking for a-”

“-sugar daddy?!” Shuri exclaims so loud that both you and Natasha flinch as you move the phone further away from you. Maybe putting her on speaker was a mistake. “What- no, Okoye, not me...yes I’m sure,” the princess’ voice becomes more hushed, “bunny...what do you of all people need a sugar daddy for, miss princess of New York?”

Nat chortles louder than you like so you shoot her a glare, smacking a pillow over her face before redirecting your attention back to the confused girl over the phone. “Daddy cut me off and-”

Shuri;’s laugh is completely mocking and would definitely be offensive if it were anyone else, but you can do nothing but sit there and pout. Natasha’s laughter becomes louder and you roll your eyes, standing up and stretching your arms over your head. You throw your phone at your best friend, causing her to almost fall off the side of the bed trying to dodge it.

“Shut up, both of you,” you scowl. “Shuri, let me know when you’re here - I’m going to go take a shower and reflect on my taste in friends. You guys are both the worst-”

Already halfway inside the en-suite, you only hear a faint chorus of “ We love you too!” before the lock clicks behind you.

---

When you stroll out of the private elevator that leads directly to your apartment, you’re staring at something funny that Shuri’s sent you on Instagram as you walk through the front door, a blindingly white smile on your face. The chunky black and white Balenciaga sneakers on your feet pound the floor lightly and your hand comes up to tug absent-mindedly at one of the strings of Natasha’s black hoodie before running it down the leg of the matching cycling shorts. You push your sunglasses to the top of your head, the minty flavor of your gum filling your tastebuds and the loud sound of your nails clicking against your phone screen echoing against your high walls and tall ceilings.

The sound of a throat clearing makes you blink hard, your eyelash extensions brushing your skin as you look up to determine the identity of your intruder.

Once you see who it is, you physically are unable to prevent the loud “fuck” from falling from your lips. So when she stands up from your couch in your living room with her arms folded over her breast implants and her full, fake lips pursed while her eyebrows shoot to her hairline, you can’t help but laugh, surprised that she can still look like a raging bitch with all that botox in her face. 

Her grating voice squeaks your name indignantly making you roll your eyes as you drop your oversized black bag by your shoe rack. Kicking off your trainers, you breeze right past her and flop down on one of your sofas, the plush material soothing your aching bones.

It’s been five days since Peter’s party and since then, Wanda had given both Bucky and Sam your number upon their request - you’ve been texting them all week. As much as you love your friends, these men are hands-down two of the funniest people that you’ve ever met. Despite your frequent conversations with his two best friends, there’s been radio silence from Steve Rogers. You don’t want to give these men the impression that you’re desperate - even though that’s exactly what you are - but you’re getting impatient. You don’t chase anybody; not once in your entire life has anyone made you work for their attention, so this whole situation is making you antsy.

You’ve just returned from the gym with Sam and Bucky where you were shocked to turn up outside only to see the two men shirtless, a huge but not unwelcome surprise in more than one way - “you have a fucking metal arm?!” - and it was truly a gift from above to essentially watch them work out from your place on the treadmill. You couldn’t even run - you almost fell on your goddamn face - because you were so distracted by the strong, glistening men across from you. You had instead slowed to a walk, texting Natasha and Shuri, sending them videos of these gorgeous men lifting seemingly impossibly heavy amounts with such ease and agility.

You couldn’t deny that it was making you feel things.

They then insisted that you should come and lift with them because “it’s rude to stare, bunny” and that was definitely less fun than just watching them.

And now here you sit, lounging carelessly and purposefully ignoring the presence of the woman sitting across from you. She sighs loudly, drumming her freshly-manicured red claws on the armrest of the couch, her eyes glued onto your face. Clearing her throat louder this time, you can feel the heat of her gaze on your profile burn hotter.

“Honey, are you just going to let me sit here all day?” your mother whines - like a child, you think - and flicks her hair face from her face.

“Yup,” you pop the ‘p’ and then fall silent, chewing your gum audibly, satisfied when you see her eye twitch in your periphery.

The two of you sit like this for a while, the deafening quiet weighing heavily on your mother’s shoulders. She’s always been a woman who’s liked to talk, fill moments of peace with mindless chatter and you’ve hated it all your life.

“Stop slouching,” your mother suddenly snaps, letting out yet another sigh, but one of relief as if it’s been painful for her to hold in her chest. With the silence effectively broken, you give a sigh of your own and finally meet her eyes, the same pretty color as yours shining back at you like a mirror. Then you assess the rest of her: the bleached blonde extensions, over-lined lips, and the designer coral pantsuit. You hold her gaze as you slip further down onto the couch, your posture even more relaxed than before. She narrows her own at you and a Chesire cat grin spreads on your face.

“You didn’t come here to correct my posture, mother,” you tell her, looking back at your phone, “so to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You haven’t been returning my calls,” she arches an eyebrow, dusting an imaginary piece of lint off of her pants, “even though I told your dad to tell you when you called him a week ago-”

“You don’t think there’s a reason that I’ve been dodging your calls?” you ask rhetorically, running the pad of your thumb over an eyebrow. Your birth giver cocks her head at you curiously, as if she’s truly confused as to why you don’t seem to like her-

“I don’t know why you don’t like me,” she states airily, examining her nails contemplatively. Your eyes dart back to hers in surprise, your jaw literally dropping because you’re that floored. “I’ve been nothing but kind to you-”

“Get out,” you say quietly, immediately shutting her up.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said get out,” you repeat, tossing your phone onto the couch behind you and standing up swiftly. Your mother is still sitting across from you, so you gesture with your hands so as to emphasize your point. “You should be lucky I haven’t fucking blacklisted you from this apartment-”

She exclaims your name, “-don’t cuss at me-”

You power through, “-after all you’ve done to me - so what I mean, mother, is get the fuck out of my apartment!”

Your voice carries through your home. When the echoes finally stop, the woman in front of you turns her nose up at you, clutches her taupe Birkin, and clicks those stupid stilettos all the way to your elevator. When she presses the button, she turns around to glare at you, failing to notice your defensive stance or how you’re fighting tears that you thought you’d already spent years crying out.

“Your father will be hearing about this,” she smirks and the doors open, bathing the side of her face in bright, artificial light. You don’t even look at her as the elevator chimes and the rose gold doors slide closed. But when they do, all of the breath leaves your body in a loud sob, your shaking hands coming up to wipe at your eyes.

The ringing of your phone interrupts you, the caller ID a number that you don’t recognize. In your current state, you answer it unthinkingly, not even registering that you’re about to be speaking to a total stranger.

“Hello?” You sniffle over the phone, running your sleeve over your cheeks to rid them of any tear tracks.

The person over the line greets you by saying your name in a deep tone that shoots straight to your panties, meaning that you know exactly who this is. It’s the call you’ve been waiting for the whole week and of all times, this is when he decides to pick up his damn phone and remember that you exist?

Motherfucker.

“Steve,” you breathe, gulping down large amounts of air to try and keep any residual tears at bay. “I-, uh, hi.”

His chuckle on the other end of the phone causes your cheeks to heat up because it should be illegal to sound like that. “Hi to you too, bunny-” you interrupt him with a shaky breath that’s louder than you anticipate, “-hold on, have you been crying?”

Shit, you think, massaging your temples. “Yeah,” you admit, sniffing again. It’s likely that your ears are deceiving you, but you think that you hear him groan, a sinful sound from deep in his throat that makes even more moisture pool in your underwear. “It’s not a big deal though - it’s nice to hear from you.”

“Are you doin’ okay?” he asks softly, making your heart do little flips in your chest.

“I’m fine,” you state almost automatically, hoping to brush off any concern and move on. You walk over to your fridge, scanning the contents before your eyes land on the row of clear, blue-capped bottles with a pink flower on the front. You put your phone on speaker and place it on the counter as you snatch one of the bottles of water from the shelf, cracking it open and taking a long swig from it.

“You don’t sound fine,” Steve protests, sounding borderline amused. “Maybe you can tell me all about it when I take you out to dinner tonight.”

He tells you mid-swig and of course, there’s no way for him to know his, but you’re so taken aback that you falter, subsequently choking on all of the water in your mouth. The coughs that wrack your body are violent, and there’s a burn in your throat from the strength of your body’s automatic reaction. You have to shut the fridge door and turn around, bracing a hand on the island counter where your phone lies.

“Sweetheart?” he probes, probably holding back a laugh but you can’t really discern whether or not that’s true over the ear-splitting sound of your coughing.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologize, wheezing through the paralyzing attack on your body. “That sounds great - where are we going?”

You finally recover, taking another - slower - sip of your drink, tears stinging your eyes.

“Hey now,” Steve laughs again, and you can’t help but notice how carefree he is now compared to the night you met him. It makes you smile. “That’d be telling. Just be ready by 8 - I’ll get my driver-”

“-oh no, that’s okay - if you give the location to my driver, he can take me-”

“No,” his voice is booming, even through the phone, and it gives you pause. His authoritative tone should’ve made you cry, especially with all that’s happened in your past, but instead, a tidal wave of desire makes you shudder and threatens to pull you underneath the surface. “My driver will pick you up at 8,” he repeats and you press the power button on the side of your phone so it shows you the time: 2:49, “and I’ll send over something appropriate for you to wear. Are we clear?”

“Yeah,” you exhale, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip.

“I asked if we were clear, sweetheart,” his voice has taken on a warning tone now and you can’t deny the heat that courses through you.

“Yes, sir,” you give him the answer almost instinctively, frowning afterward because you feel like you’re in school.

“Good girl, bunny baby,” he coos and it’s this that makes you almost audibly moan.

You? A praise kink?

Absolutely.

“I’ll see you then, hmm, honey?” he prompts you to respond. Normally, you don’t let anybody that you’re romantically involved with call you honey because it reminds you so acutely of your mother, and you suspect that she knows that which is why she keeps calling you that stupid nickname. But with Steve, you already feel like you’re in no place to be making demands.

And for the first time in your life, that doesn’t bother you all that much.

“Yes, Steve,” your eyelashes flutter and you squeeze your thighs together, trying to ease yourself of the growing discomfort at your most sensitive area.

“Good, good,” he speaks, sounding distracted. “I’ve got a meeting now, bunny - talk later.”

You don’t even get an opportunity to say your own goodbye before he ends the call. You save him to your contacts quickly before you forget, and then a thought hits you that makes you freeze.

How does he know your size and - more importantly - how the fuck does he know where you live?

tagged: @evnscvll​ @donutloverxo​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @literaturefeen​ @smutdiariess​ @90sinspiredgirl​ @cruelsummer-s​ @honnneyybee 

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers blurb #steve rogers blurbs #steve rogers headcanons #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagines #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fanfiction #sugar daddy au #soft dark steve rogers #sugar daddy steve rogers

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List | Pt. 6

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 7,500

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy's life, not knowing that he is one of the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of drugs, description of stalking/being fallowed

Genre: Gang/mafia AU, romance, angst, violence, fluff

Rating: 17 N/C

Banner Credit: @mindays​

Beta Reader: @punkisnotdead2318​

Big fat shout out to Katie for being my beta reader, and standing by me during the making of this chapter. I’m not joking when I say I wrote this chapter about 3 times. As well as completely rewrote my outline for the entier story and Katie read every dang word as well as gave me wonderful feedback and some brilliant ideas. I love and appreciate her so much <3

A/n: I ended up splitting the chapter in half again. I apologize in advance for the ending.

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Suga sighed in annoyance when he opened the garage door and spotted J-Hope underneath the hood of yet another car. The sound of clanging tools and revving engines finally drove him to the brink of his patience. He came down to investigate, thinking it was maybe some annoying underling who was excited to see the collection of cars for the first time. 

But of course, it wasn't, and now he can't even yell at them to be quiet.

Hoseok has been working non-stop for the past two weeks, both at the mechanic shop and for BTS.

 At first, RM and Suga were thrilled, he took on two jobs in the past week, actually asked for the assignments. But now that it was his day off at the mechanic shop and he was out of work to do for BTS, so J-Hope has been busying himself working on every car in BTS's garage. And it was driving Yoongi crazy.

"J-Hope, you're going to break something if you don't stop poking around," Suga offered as a greeting, making his way over to him.

J-Hope looked up from the engine and flashed a brilliant smile. Suga used to wonder what he did to deserve being on the receiving end of one so bright.

"I'll fix it if I do." J-Hope teased before turning back to the vehicle.

Suga sighed again in frustration, he wanted to order the man to go home and take a proper day off, but he could see now that J-Hope was at his wit's end. J-Hope always avoided his problems by drowning himself in his work. 

He's like a shark. If he stopped swimming, he'd sink.

Why can't he just drink like the rest of us?

Suga thought to himself begrudgingly as he made his way into the carport. Instead, Hoseok had to tinker and fix every little thing in the garage. 

Suga knew he should probably let his friend be, leave him to cope and process whatever it was that was bugging him. Still, he couldn't stand the thought of J-Hope test driving another car around the property. All week he's heard nothing but engines revving.

"C'mon, we need to talk," Suga said, nodding his head towards the house. J-Hope froze, looking up from his tinkering with a slight frown, the one that flashed his dimples.

"What's up, you never wanna talk," J-Hope questioned hesitantly. Suga rolled his eyes, ignoring the small jab.

"I got a job that we can look at, and you need to eat something," Yoongi said simply as he headed for the door.

Work, of course.

Hoseok willed his face to stay neutral, to conceal his disappointment as he grabbed the towel over his shoulder and wiped at his hands and face of any moter oil. 

It was always just business with Yoongi.

They stayed in a comfortable silence as they made their way into the kitchen. J-Hope sat on a bar stool, feeling too grimey from the motor oil stains on his shirt to sit in one of Jin's nice dining chairs. 

Suga quickly pulled some leftovers out of the fridge, piling the plate with generous servings for J-Hope before popping it in the microwave. He decided, last minute, to make a quick serving for himself since he couldn't remember consuming anything but coffee since last night.

"Alright, so what's up?" Yoongi finally asked once they both had their food, and he took his seat next to Hoseok.

"Nothing, why?" Hoseok questioned, surprised. Yoongi shot him a look calling him out on his bullshit.

"You're avoiding something. I don't know if it's one of the guys, or yourself or what, but you only get like this when something's bothering you," Yoongi said, laying out all of Hoseok's feelings and vulnerabilities in front of his meal. 

Hoseok's dimples flashed as he pouted and tried to force down his meal over the growing lump in his throat, but he struggled to quell the emotion in his chest.

Only you and Yoongi know him this well.

Know how to read the small tells that slip out when he tries to hide his feelings. 

But Yoongi is Yoongi, and once things picked up for BTS, Hoseok assumed he had lost the ability to know when he was struggling. He felt like Yoongi was too busy to care.

After you walked out of his apartment, he's felt so lost and alone. He never thought someone would bother to read or check in on him again.

With a sigh, Hoseok finally gave in, "It's Y/N, we haven't talked in over two weeks. I'm worried she won't ever speak to me again now that she knows about..." Hoseok let his words trail off, and Yoongi leaned a little closer, pressing his knee against his friends in nonverbal understanding.

"I get it, but I also don't think she's mad at you...well," Yoongi hesitated, then stressed, "I don't think she'll be mad at you forever. She seems like she misses you too." he amended quietly, and it was true. 

Yoongi sometimes spends the afternoon in the bakery for a change of scenery. He's heard the way your voice changes tone when you tell Jimin a story about Hoseok. Yoongi honestly felt a little jealous that he had no idea who you were, but the two were obviously important to each other.

"Maybe it's time you just reach out. Ya know, talk?" Yoongi suggested, taking another bite of food.

Hobi grinned at him, "Min Yoongi, did you just tell me to go talk about my feelings?" he asked teasingly. Yoongi grunted, waving a hand in dismissal.

"It's obvious you're both miserable, and you're both unbearably sappy. I'll suggest anything to stop seeing the two of you mope around and to get you out of my garage," he grumbled. 

Hoseok smiled at him as he took another bite.

Yoongi waited until he finished his meal and busied himself with cleaning up before he finally asked, "Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

Hoseok looked at his elder, surprised, a bit of his lunch nearly slipping out of his mouth. "Pardon?"

"Ella, you guys have history, how come I never heard about her?" he clarified.

"You don't need to know every person I spend time with," Hoseok started, but Yoongi shot him a look that argued otherwise. "If you did, you would already know," Hoseok challenged. Yoongi shrugged as he busied himself with wiping down his bowl,

"I don't want to pry in your personal life too much, you deserve space," Yoongi muttered.

Funny, because the only thing Hoseok ever wanted from Yoongi was a lack of space.

"Didn't realize you respected me that much," Hoseok said, a little surprised.

"You're one of the six people I'll ever trust in this lifetime," Suga pushed, a little hurt that Hoseok was so willingly blind to how much he cared about him.

J-Hope again worked to keep his face neutral. Of course, he was, they were the inner circle, the inner circle would be nothing if they didn't have trust. They could accomplish nothing. And in the end, that's what connected Suga and J-hope, BTS, their family, their brotherhood, nothing else. It seemed the only feelings they would ever share with each other was mutual respect.

"I didn't want her to know about BTS, and it was easier to draw that line if you guys didn't know about her either." J-Hope offered simply, poking at the last of his lunch with his fork.

Suga paused to look at him, and J-Hope could see the hesitation on his face as he asked, "How long have you two been together?"

He nearly spits out his food, "What? We're not-"

"Obviously not right now, but I think you'll work it out. You seem to be really good for each other,"

"Yoongi, she's my dead sister's best friend, she's my best friend. I could never- WE could never. There are no feelings", Hoseok said, scrambling to recover.

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, "Hobi, I know you want to keep this part of your life a secret. And I'm sorry BTS is taking that from you. But Jungkook has feeling for her, the dumb ass isn't even trying to hide it. If you guys have a history or a future, we need to shut it down before this little crush, ya know, crushes him." 

Yoongi let his sentence fizzle off awkwardly as he heard the front door open then close. Immediately regretting starting such an emotional discussion in such a public part of the house.

Hoseok blinked, his mind had blanked after hearing Yoongi call him Hobi, the elder rarely used such endearing terms, but slowly the buzzing in his ears lifted, and he processed what he was saying. 

Yoongi really doesn't care if he was single or not, the little bubble of hope that crawled up his chat popped before it could even surface.

He was worried about Jungkook. And the protege child's feelings. 

Feelings he got after dragging Y/N into the dangerous world, Hoseok tried so hard to keep her from.

Hoseok balled his hands into fists.

"I don't have love for Ella beyond seeing her as a sister. I see her the same way I see Jungkook. I care about her safety and feelings, too." Hoseok growled as all his emotion surfaced, it was too much at once. Yoongi blanched as he saw the mountain he unearthed.

"And so what if Jungkook gets feelings for her, maybe we should tell him he doesn't need to fall in love with the first girl he has a conversation with. Maybe we shouldn't get her fired from her old job, and get her a new job so she can be more a part of his daily life. Maybe we should teach him he can't get everything he wants. Have you ever considered that perhaps she'll reject him even if I'm not an obstacle? "

"Hoseok-" Yoongi started quietly.

"Don't," Hoseok hated how he felt the knot form in his throat, hated how he could feel the emotions getting the best of him.

You hated him.

Yoogi was indifferent to him.

Hell, he couldn't stand himself right now.

And yet, Jungkook was coming out on top overall of the mess he made. And Hoseok couldn't even bring himself to resent the boy too much. He loved his little brother and wanted the best for him. He just hated that the best was everything he wanted.

But that didn't keep the fire out of his words.

"I did everything I could to protect her. I lied to you and Namjoon and Jin. She doesn't deserve to be a part of this, Suga, she's too good for any of us. I don't want him to have her. I don't deserve to have her,"

"J-Hope," Suga hissed, cutting him off as a tear rolled down the younger's cheek. Hoseok watched Yoogi's eyes soften in what could have been concern if they weren't also wide with panic as they flicked between him and the door.

"Hyung?" Jungkook's voice asked softly.

Hoseok felt his body go cold as he turned and saw Jungkook standing in the doorway, looking like he'd been hit.

"Jungkookie,"

--------------------------------

It was a mostly quiet afternoon at the bakery. Which gave you plenty of time to let your mind wander.

Hoseok had text you last night, after Jungkook had left, asking if you guys could meet up and maybe grab a meal. It was the first direct text of wanting to make amends between the two of you so far.

You hadn't replied yet. Because you still had no clue what to expect when you finally saw each other again. Should you guys talk about everything, should you avoid it and try to go back to normal? You missed him, and you wanted to be able to forgive him.

But the wound left from his lies was still tender, and you didn't know if it was one that would heal over time.

You tried not to dwell too hard on the thought that he was a killer. That he might have taken mothers and fathers and children from loving families. You try to tell yourself anyone who crossed BTS must truly be bad.

After getting to know the other members of the inner circle, you could make yourself believe they were good people. Maybe there was some good in taking a little evil out of this world.

You laughed at yourself in disgust. You were a doctor, what did you believe in other than the moral foundation that life was priceless. It should never be taken. You wanted to give people as many chances as they could in this world.

You lost your mother at a young age to a sickness similar to Hoseok's mom. While your memories of her were starting to get foggy with time, you do remember watching her fight.

She fought until the day her doctor told her it was a lost cause, and then you watched her slowly fade away. That doctor sapped your mother of her hope. And while you had no way of knowing if your mom could have maybe beaten the sickness, hearing those doctor's words almost hurt more than losing her.

You always wondered, what would have happened if you had a doctor that believed in her? If your mom was still a part of your life? You dad remarried, and while your stepmom wasn't inherently a bad person, she was pretty supportive of you at times, you always wondered if your life would have been different if your mom stayed in the picture. If you would be different.

You were so lost in the swirl of your consciousness that you didn't even hear the ring of the bell when Taehyung entered the store. 

You didn't even notice when he slipped past you behind the counter where, you were busying yourself with mindlessly stacking coffee cups at the coffee station. Until he walked up to you, strawberry tart in hand and said, "Earth to Dorito Breath," as he waved his hand in front of you.

You blinked rapidly before grunting in displeasure at the name.

You 'earned' the name Dorito Breath your first week of work. You were running a little late for your shift but didn't have time to grab a meal, so you settled with a bag of chips to munch on as you walked to work. 

Only it was the family-sized kind, not the little singlets that would probably be more appropriate for an on-the-go setting. Taehyung and Jimin didn't let you hear the end of it when you entered the bakery, fingertips coated thoroughly in sweet chili dust.

When you tried to defend yourself saying you were hungry, their only response was you worked at a bakery, and Jin let you snack on most of the pastries and sandwiches for free. Jimin gave you a long lecture on how you could have fed yourself something with nutrition instead of dusty cardboard for lunch.

Since then, Tae had dubbed you Dorito Breath, claiming your potent air would scare off the customers when you took their order. 

His comment had been effective enough for you to self-continuously munch on a few mint leaves throughout your shift.

"What do you want?" You grumbled, watching as he picked every strawberry from the tart before slipping it back into the display.

Unsanitary asshole.

"Ahh, did your mother teach you those manners?" You hissed as you grabbed the tart from the case before a customer walked in.

Taehyung smirked at you, "My mother gave up on teaching me pretty early in life."

You rolled your eyes, "I think I would too if you were my child,"

A change in emotion flashed across his face too quickly for you to identify. You decided to change the topic before you risked hitting a sore spot. You and Hobi weren't the only ones with family issues in this city. In fact, it was a running theme in Alcorn.

"What do you want, V? Jimin isn't even here," you sighed, leaning against the countertop.

"I can't just come by to get a cup of coffee?" Taehyung asked in a mocked, hurt tone. Your eyes rolled again.

"No, because you don't even like coffee, you put so much cream and sugar in it, it looks white," you teased.

"I'm sorry for not enjoying your bitter bean juice, it's a mockery to my delicate taste buds. But at the end of the day, I need to stay awake as long as possible," he added profoundly with a shrug.

"Why don't you just drink energy drinks?" you asked, and Taehyung fixed you with a look, the predatory kind that made you freeze in place and made your heart beat flutter. He chewed his gum a little obnoxiously, smirking as your eyes fell to his lips.

"Because my dear Ella, you don't sell energy drinks here, and I need every excuse to see you," he replied in his deep baritone.

You huffed, turning your back at him to effectively break from his trance, "You're so full of shit," your murmur as you continue stacking the cups. He chuckled as he made his way beside you, standing so close you could feel the heat radiate off his arms, helping you make the stacks even.

After a moment, he asked softly, "Have you talked to Hobi recently?"  

You looked to him, taken a little off guard by the personal question, "Not recently," you hesitated for a moment before adding, "I don't know what to say."

Tae studied you for a moment, you could see the conflict in his eyes as he said, "He cares about you, and in the end, he did what he did to protect you."

"It's not just the lying," you sighed, leaning against the counter. "I just, I don't know what to think. He's killed people Tae," you said softly, worried that saying it too loud would somehow trigger another loss of life. Taehyung's eyes darkened at your comment.

"Ella, you have a right to need time to process everything, but I must remind you, it's Alcorn. This city is corrupt and filled with terrible people. If you're not made of money, you have to kill to survive."

He took in your shocked silence as his cue to continue, "Look, I would like to tell you that not everyone in BTS is a killer, I would like to tell you that the people we do kill are the bad ones that deserve to die. We strive for that, but at the end of the day, we have our motives and family to protect. I would like to tell you any kind of good news that might make you feel safe and help your moral compass see true North, but I can't because that would make me a liar."

You shook your head in disbelief, "That's terrible,"

He smiled a feral grin, "We are terrible sweet, Ella. Alcorn and everything in it is terrible."

He took in your fearful expression, and he sighed as he found himself caught up in the moment and the bitter disdain for this city.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and when he opened them, they were soft. His whole expression changed to a more comforting one. 

In the back of your mind, you remember Jimin telling you how on top of drug dealing, Tae was an excellent spy, he could change faces like someone changes their clothes. Knowing that did nothing to prepare you for the whiplash you got from experiencing it up close.  

"I'm sorry I don't want to scare you. I just want you to understand that killing isn't the worst thing you can do to people in this wretched city. I want to let you know that even in gang standards, Hoseok is as good as they come. You're both miserable without the other, and it's super annoying for everyone else, so please just give him a chance." Tae said, and despite the harsh words, his tone was honeyed, and there was warmth in his eyes.

"I just can't accept that killing people is a normal thing because you tell me it is. He's taken lives, and I'm not okay with that," you argued. V's expression soured.

"Yeah, well, it's really hypocritical of you to turn you back on one gangster only to cozy up with another. I'm sure it's fun, working at our bakery and asking us all about our little gang. It must seem exciting since we censor anything that might upset you. Jungkook and Jimin can sell you the Robin Hood narrative all they want, but at the end of the day, we're a gang." V hissed.

You steeled your expression, "If you want me to forgive Hobi, why are you trying to scare me away?"  

Taehyung faltered, not expecting your reaction, and you smiled slightly as you saw his mask slip.

"Hoseok deserves to be forgiven, he's made sacrifices for you, and just wants you safe. You two are family. It's a mockery for you to be mad at him and then prance around with the rest of us when we're guilty of the same sins," he explained.

Taehyung made a mistake, he didn't even know why he said anything to you. 

It's true he wanted you to talk to Hoseok; his brother was miserable and driving everyone insane. But Taehyung would rather things go back to the way they were before you met Jungkook. 

Jungkook, who spent the whole morning sulking, and won't talk to anyone after skipping two classes and spending the entire evening with you. It was obviously dangerous for you to get involved with BTS, they hadn't known you for a month, and you were already stirring up trouble.

But V did know you. 

He's seen the hunger in your eyes when you slip into the alley behind the Mexican restaurant off-campus. So desperate to claw your way to success, you would turn to some back alley stimulants to give you an upper hand. 

He's seen you at parties too. He gets invited to frat row often and always packs the good stuff. You don't go there anymore, but he's seen the way you acted when you did. You never fully let loose, you were smart and kept your wits about you. You were so good at seeming like you drank or smoked more than you did, it was almost practiced. You always sat back and watched as drunk guys fell over themselves trying to get you to go upstairs with them. And you would string them along all night, dancing and dodging before you went home early.

You liked to feel desired, but most importantly, you liked to feel in control. 

Tae understood because he was the same way. He wonders what you would do to BTS, what you would do for BTS if you fell a little deeper into their world. You were motivated and had ambition. If you could only get off your righteous high horse, RM could probably give that ambition a lethal direction.

Or you could wreck them from the inside out, and that wasn't a gamble he was willing to take despite how easily the other members have warmed up to you.

You smiled at him sweetly, but there was a challenge in your eye, "I'm confused, do you want me to forgive Hoseok or be scared of you?" you asked.

In a perfect world, Taehyung could have both.

"Or," you added quickly, "you want me to forgive Hoseok, but you don't want me to hang out with Jungkook. I'm sorry I didn't know he was taken." you mocked pressing a delicate hand to your chest in astonishment.

Again, in a perfect world...

"That's not it," Taehyung huffed, "I just want you to understand what you're getting into by asking all these questions."

Neither of you believed his excuse.

You open your mouth to deliver your retort, but the chime of the bell as the front door opens cut you off. Tae watched curiously as your whole demeanor immediately changed, a sweet smile plastering itself on your face.

"Welcome to Sugar Daddy, what can I get for you?" You greeted in a chipper voice as the customer made his way to the counter.

You recognized the man to be named Marcus, he was a usual at the bakery, known to sometimes sit at one of the tables up front for hours at a time. Just watching the people on the street pass by or watch you work. It was odd because he didn't even bring a computer with him to pretend to do some work. He just came here to people-watch, you assumed.

At first, it made you uncomfortable, but you've grown used to it by now. Marcus was polite, tipped decently, and never attempted to flirt with you. So now you've grown used to his presence in the shop.

But today something seemed off, Marcus seemed off. He was stiff as he rambled his order, followed by giving you the wrong amount of change. You noticed the man wasn't really looking at you. His eyes were focused on V, who was lingering behind you during the interaction.

You glanced over curiously as you turned to make his coffee, surprised to see V was glowering at him as well. The two were fixed in some kind of staring match, and the tension in the air was beginning to grow thick.

You cleared your throat casually as you passed V to get to the creamer, kicking him in the shin to break his stare.

"Hey, what's your problem?" He demanded under his breath, turning to you but not breaking his stare from Marcus,

"What's your problem?" You hissed back as you put a lid on the to-go cup. 

You forced a smile on your face as you turned back to your customer, handing him his drink, and wishing him a good day. He nodded, not breaking his stare at the gangster behind you before turning and making his way out the shop instead of taking a seat at his usual table.

"What the hell was that?" You demanded as soon as the man cleared the store, "I thought the two of you were about to whip it out and have a pissing contest, he's a customer, you can't just glare at him like that!"

Taehyung looked at you with mild disinterest, unphased by your accusations.

"Does he come here often? You know his name?" he asked, nodding his head at the door where Marcus let himself out.

"Yeah, we have a lot of usuals," you replied, confused.

"Does Jimin or Jin know he comes here a lot, do they see him?" he asked.

You shifted your weight from foot to foot, and Taehyung's eyes followed your movement, reading your tells of discomfort as you grew uneasy by his questions, "I assume so?" you answered unsurely, "I mean, if I'm here they're usually in the back, but I assume he comes here every day, they must see him when they're working the front."

"Interesting." Was all Taehyung gave as a response.

You immediately put your guard up, "Why, do you know him or something? Is he.. Bad?" You asked hesitantly, not quite sure what you were implying.

Taehyung chucked, "Bad? Everyone is bad sweet Ella,"

You rolled your eyes at the non-answer. He's been toying with you since he got here, and you were getting fed up by it. He scared one of your customers away for christ sakes.

"Why are you really here, V? To try and be my therapist for the day? I know you're not here to be my friend and ask about my feelings." You huffed.

Tae raised an eyebrow at you in response to the fed-up tone in your voice. You looked at him unamused and tightened your arms across your chest to stand your ground.

Finally, he sighed in defeat, "I'm here to send you home. But I will say, I asked about your feelings because you mean a lot to Hoseok, so by association, I guess you kind of mean something to me, and I just wanted to check and make sure you were good. I'm sorry if I spoke too harshly," his voice trailed off, and in the back of his mind, he wondered why he apologized, and why did he mean it?

You tried not to dwell on the 'I care about you' bit, and how the thought of it warmed your insides a little. 

You were still recovering from the cold eyes and harsh words he gave you earlier, but you didn't hold it against him. You saw his attempt to scare you, to let you know scarier and darker people than Hoseok roamed these streets, and perhaps you shouldn't hold your best friend's sins against him.

"Why are you sending me home?" You forced yourself to ask through the fog of thoughts.

"I'm here to relieve you of your shift. I have business to attend to with some customers this afternoon, and I think it best if we were alone," Taehyung explained.

Your brows furrowed, Jin warned you that your hours could be unstable from time to time, that members of the inner circle may send you home so they could use the store for business.

"Don't worry, you'll be compensated for working the entire shift," he assured, although the thought never occurred to you. You had a burning curiosity to ask what he could possibly be up to. If he was using the bakery to deal drugs, were some of the pastries maybe edibles?

Your thoughts swirled, you opened your mouth to ask, maybe argue, for him to let you stay, but he quickly sent you a slicing look that silenced any protest.

"Don't get it confused, just because I told you nicely, doesn't mean that this is an offer, It's an order," Taehyung clarifies coolly.

You stood in shock for a moment before nodding obediently, "I have a test I should probably study for anyways," you offered to maintain your pride. 

"Good girl," he encouraged softly as you slipped off your apron and moved to gather your things from the back. Your cheeks burned slightly in embarrassment, and you shocked yourself with the submissive attitude. 

They wanted you out of the loop for a reason, it was probably best you didn't know what went on when they wanted you gone.

You shouldn't pry.

You told yourself as you made your way back to the front.

Still, you couldn't stop yourself from "Are you sure you don't need any help?" You offered hesitantly as you passed the counter.

Tae smiled at you, "It's safest for you to go, Princess. In fact, why don't you get out of the 7th ward for a bit, maybe go study at the library for a few hours? Things might get a little rowdy on this side of town pretty soon," his tone was pleasant, but you saw the mischief in his eye and the warning came across clearly. You suddenly found yourself very flustered as you realized just how out of depth you were by spending time with these men.

"Yeah… I'll, uhh, go and study… cause, ya know, my test, tomorrow." You murmured in agreement under your breath as you started backing towards the shop entrance.

Taehyung flashed you a shit-eating grin as he dug his way under your skin, "Study hard, Princess," he offered in farewell as you turned and made your way out of the bakery.

You had four hours until your shift was supposed to end, and you decided that it probably was best to put in some time studying. You caught the next bus to your university, and headed for the library, trying your hardest to settle the unease in your stomach. You watched out the window the whole ride, wondering if you could see if there was anything off about the people roaming the streets.

You made it to the library and b-lined it right for the 5th floor- your haven of silence on campus. But for the first time in a while, you found it too quiet compared to the volume of your thoughts.

You told yourself you were caving for the sake of your test tomorrow. Hopefully, after responding, you'll be able to concentrate and finally study.

You reasoned as you slipped your phone out your backpack and opened your message to Hoseok, reading his offer over three more times, as if you could find some hidden meaning. 

Finally, you responded saying you would grab dinner with him later today, and turned back to your textbook desperate to get something done.

You didn't make it an hour into studying before you were ready to give up, totally unfocused.

You sighed as you packed your things, deciding you needed a shower to clear your head before you talked to Hoseok. Ignoring Taehyung's previous warning to stay out of the 7th ward, you decided he was just trying to scare you as you rode the bus back to your apartment.

Luckily, the bus stop was right outside your complex, so within twenty minutes of mindlessly scrolling on your phone, you were back home.

You made your way upstairs, eyes still glued to your screen as you scrolled through your social media feeds, and nearly ran straight into your neighbor.

"Watch it!" You heard him hiss as he dodged you.

You shrunk back and looked up, frozen to see Dawson sneering at you; he held a trash bag in either hand, and you smiled apologetically for your distracted walking offense.

"Sorry," You said sheepishly, and he only scoffed as he pushed passed.

You watched him walk off, shocked. Dawson was typically super friendly to you. He was one of your more social neighbors, but something felt off about him today.

He had dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked like he was exhausted.

You are in no position to judge someone for letting themselves go when they're stressed.

You reminded yourself, and it was true.

You had barely made an effort to put on makeup since you and Hobi got in a fight. Your eyes were perpetually puffy from all the crying you were doing during your self made pity parties, where you made yourself watch cheesy Hallmark movies, unironically.

Dawson was probably just going through a hard time. And he has no reason to be kind to you when you almost made him spill trash juice all over himself.

Pushing the encounter out of your head, you unlocked your door and made your way into the apartment. Jeremy was there to greet you immediately, demanding attention.

And who were you to deny him?

You indulged in a few minutes of cuddles and pets with your new kitty, eager for comfort as you mentally prepared yourself for tonight's dinner with Hoseok. 

After a while, you decided you needed a shower to clear your thoughts; you always did your best planning and emotional navigation in the shower. Not to mention, it's been a few days since your last one. You eyed the oily roots with a frown. You had tried to hide them with a cute bucket hat at work today, but you were painfully aware of the filth under your cap all day.

You let the hot water rain down your body and help your muscles unwind before you reached for the soap, pausing as you inspected the small green and yellow bar in your hand. 

Hoseok always bought you boujee essential oil soap from the hipster soap shop down the street from Sugar Daddy, and soon the bathroom was filled with the scent of lemongrass and eucalyptus.

The two of you always bought 'gender-neutral' smelling soap so that there was never a problem with using each other's showers when you stayed the night. You had relatively sensitive skin and always complained about the soap in his bathroom, telling him it was practically dish soap before you finally caved one day and showed up with your own products.

That didn't go over well, Hoseok immediately complained about having too many bottles cluttering his bathroom. 

Not to mention, any overnight guest he might have had in his downtime quickly went on high alert when they saw your expensive bath products. But you also smelled the sharp scent of your favorite apple and pear shampoo in his hair, and the next time you came over, your new bottle was half empty, and his hair looked glossy and voluminous.

The two of you have since found a compromise at the hipster soap shop. You liked neutral scents like eucalyptus and lemongrass or bergamot and lime and agreed to use the same products. 

Now any time you showered, you smiled at the memory and little connection. Hoseok really did worm his way into every part of your life down to the way you smell.

Breaking yourself out of your reminiscent sob story, you washed off quickly before moving to wash your hair.

By the time you toweled off and got dressed, it was still a little too early to go to the Diner, but you felt a restless energy nagging at you—a need for action. A need for movement, and you decided you could walk to the Diner, instead of taking the bus to kill some time.

--------

It wasn't quite 5p.m. when you left, but the sky was dark grey, and the humidity in the port city was so thick you felt like you were breathing equal parts water and air.

The gloomy sky warned you of the coming storm, and by the time you were three blocks out, you debated turning around and grabbing your umbrella. But you couldn't even remember where you left it after the last big storm. You knew you didn't see it on your key rack on your way out.

You were confident you could beat the storm if you hustle a little faster to make it, and you were in your rain boots if you did get caught in the downpour. You knew if you veered off the main streets a bit and cut through a few allies between the businesses, you could make it to the Diner faster.

It wasn't late enough for anything spooky to be hiding in corners. Alcorn was a shameless and troubled city, but even here, only so much could take place before nightfall. The worst that could happen is you stumbling upon a homeless man, but that was an encounter you were willing to risk if it got you to the Diner before the sky bottomed out.

Not to mention, the alternate route would keep you from passing by Sugar Daddy, and you didn't want V to think you were trying to poke your nose into any of BTS's business.

You brought a few flashcards with you as a last attempt to study on your walk, and you flipped through them, quizzing yourself as you made your way through the town. You took extra care to look forward as you tested your memory, not wanting to risk running into someone. Especially, after your almost run-in with Dawson.

His rude attitude plus Taehyung's warning from earlier had you a bit on edge.

When you turn into the sliver of space between two buildings on the main road, you try to tell yourself it's your paranoia that's making you feel like you're being watched. That you're just letting V get in your head.

You fiddled with the thick paper of your flashcards, admiring how the corners of them curled slightly in the heavy humidity. Your hair was probably doing the same, despite taking the time to blow dry it and put a straightening product in it.

Coming out of the mouth of the alleyway, you stopped in front of the tinted windows of a random shop, head-turning to try and inspect your hair. As your eyes narrowed and focused on your locks, you froze when you saw a hooded figure behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man in a black hoodie, with a ball cap pulled low to cover his eyes trailing behind you at what felt like an intentionally casual pace.

This is a popular part of town, a lot of people probably use this shortcut.

You told yourself as you exited the alley and made your way back onto the main street. You crossed the road at the next crosswalk, even though it wasn't the best route for the Diner.

The hooded man crossed as well.

That's okay. Just cross again at the next intersection.

Again, your thoughts tried to comfort you as you decided that navigating the crosswalks was the best way to know if he was blatantly following you.

Unfortunately, with the route you took, there was no efficient way to get to the Diner from this road without cutting through another alleyway or backtracking and going back up the alley you just came from. You didn't want to backtrack at the risk that the Hoodie might have a few more friends.

You walked a few more blocks, checking over your shoulder every few steps to see if the man was still on your trail. You tried to be discrete, not wanting your paranoia to feed his agenda. You knew some sick people in this world enjoyed the chase.

You turned at the next crosswalk, pressing the button furiously as if that would give you the signal to cross any sooner when you heard a pair of leisurely footsteps come to a stop right next to you. You looked over your shoulder and gasped as you saw the hooded man standing right beside you.

His mouth curled into a cocky smile as he leaned towards you, tilting his head, so the bill of his hat still concealed his eyes, "Are you alright? You seem a little spooked," his gruff voice taunted. 

You leaned away from him, taking a step towards the curb of the street, your clunky rubber boots almost causing you to trip. Your mind blanked, unable to form any response as you felt your heart start to pound in your chest.

Your eyes flashed to the road and saw the traffic was surprisingly sparse and decided, j-walking be damned, you'd risk the fine and on an impulse, ran across the street.

You knew staying on the main road was the safest option, but you genuinely didn't know the town very well once you passed the flower shop around the corner. The next block would take you into the 6th ward.

So you turned down the alleyway by the flower shop, falling into a pace that was closer to a steady jog, your rain boots creaked under your fast pace steps.

You looked over your shoulder as you turned the corner to see the hooded figure trailing at a short distance. You cursed under your breath as you willed your steps to go faster.

You waited until you cleared the corner of the alleyway before you broke out into a full run. The top of your rain boots rubbed at your calves as you ran, and you cursed yourself for not wearing sneakers.

Was out running him your best option? Could you even do so in your clunky footwear? Should you face him?

If you let him catch and grab you, you knew Jungkook's training would help you get yourself out of his hold, but you couldn't take that risk.

Maybe sending Hoseok a pin and dropping your location and hoping to God he knew you were in trouble and was willing to come to find you, would be best.

You reached in your pocket, your pace faltering slightly, as you felt the can of pepper spray you still had on your keys. You smiled, a new thought coming to your mind. 

He would have a hard time fallowing you with a face full of mace.

Behind you, you heard footsteps punding against the rough concrete, and maybe it was your heart pounding in your ears, but you swore it sounded like two sets of feet.

A holler from the man who spoke to you earlier confirmed your fear.

Could you take two guys?

With surprise on your side, maybe.

You pulled yourself into a little alcove as you turned the corner again, trying your best to steady your breathing as you heard footsteps come closer.

Your keys rattled softly as you gripped the pepper spray tight in your trembling hand.

You strained your ears waiting for you aggressors to approach, and heard the sound of sneakers scraping across the concrete as if someone slipped and a shout before silence fell over the alleyway.

-------------------------------------------

A/n: Sorry for that 'cliff hanger', and I'm sorry I keep pushing Hobi and Ella talking it out further and further back. Please let me know your thoughts or theories of how you think Ella is getting out of this mess. ;)  

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Tag List:

@curryshesus​ @mel-gonzalez07​ @atomickokorox​ @pfannkuchen07​ 

#bts fic #jungkook x reader #bts gang au #btsghostie #bangtanhq #bangtanscenery #btsbookclub #btsguild #bts mafia au #taehyung x reader #soap #pining

[nagitoandkokichioneshots]

Hi!!! I wanted to get your opinion and thoughts about what exactly goes through your mind when writing a Nagito fic. I see many people just portray him as a 'uwu hope boi' so I just wanted to your opinion about writing him, or just him in general. Thank you

Mod Mikan: Hello nonnie! So, I don’t know if this was towards a specific mod, but I assume you’ll take any mod so here’s Mod Mikan’s personal thoughts about him. I’d like to say that I figured out his character pretty well, but then again, Nagito can be interpreted in many ways, so don’t take my word for it when I say I believe I’m an expert 

So, even though I’m a hardcore Nagito simp, I don’t neglect that, like everyone else, he has his flaws too. While Nagito is usually polite, quiet, and collected, he can be mean when he wants to. But he’s not mean just for no reason. I picked out that he’s only mean when 

a) Someone is talentless 

b) He doesn’t mean it 

or 

c) Someone was/is a shit person towards him

Post-dead room Nagito is a popular example and one of the rare times Nagito is an utter dick. Cause, let’s be real, Nagito is a really nice guy most of the time. He comes off as crazy and creepy during his FTD episodes (yes, his ‘hope rants’ are legit his dementia complying to his coping mechanism, which is hope), but he has the best intentions at heart. When I first came across ‘post-dead room Nagito’ I thought he just finally snapped from how badly he was treated by the others. I was a huge simp, so I was rooting for him, cause he was giving the Ultimates what they deserved. But when it was revealed that Nagito figured out they were remnants of Despair, that’s when everything clicked. I also like to believe that Nagito’s actions also stemmed from him just flat out losing it. Mixed with his mental illnesses, his life trauma, the intense atmosphere from the killing game, and holding valuable information that no one else knew (or would even believe him on), it’s pretty understandable he’d go crazy. I’m not defending him, cause what he did was still wrong, but I’m saying his actions had reasons and the best intentions for ‘world hope’

Nagito is also bluntly honest. But an honest person isn’t exactly ‘nice’ all the time. He will say what is on his mind and not dance around the truth. Some of it may be caused from his dementia, some of it is just him being a honest person in general. I don’t remember exactly what he said but in the game, he insulted Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi on accident. He later realized that Fuyuhiko was offended by his words and he apologized. But he didn’t know Kazuichi was offended by his words, so he didn’t apologize to him. But Nagito will unintentionally be mean. I feel like if he had an SO, that would be someone he deeply cares about and would apologize because he hates seeing his love hurting because of him. Even if he doesn’t understand what he said, he’ll still say sorry because he truly does care and means well at the end

I won’t get into Nagito being mean to talentless people since I already did a whole post about it. Tumblr is being funky for me, so I can’t exactly link it, but I’m pretty sure it’s not that far of a scroll down if you wanna see it. If you can’t find it, ask me for the link and I’ll do my best to try to link it ;). But anyways, long story short: I personally believe Nagito can have a normal relationship with either a talentless or ultimate person, but time is key. Even though he can be an asshole towards the talentless, I think some of it is just his self hatred being projected onto someone else that’s ‘his equal’

When I say Nagito is an honest person (Even his VA admits he’d be an honest person), I’m not denying that he doesn’t lie. He lied many times in the game. But he never does it for his own benefit. It’s even stated in his wiki page that he will never lie for himself, rather for the ‘greater good’. His plans are never for himself and even though he can be extreme at times, it will never be for him. He’s always thinking about others and--yes, he will do things his own way and make things go the way he wants to--but at the end, it’s all for someone he cares about, never for himself

In the famous episode in the anime where he plans to bomb the school so his classmates can get out of taking their finals, did everyone forget that his first plan was just to talk to Chisa and ask her to move the test? She said she couldn’t cause the media was coming already. Guess what? Bombing the school was never his original plan. While I can think of many....many other ways to post-pone the test, Nagito is crazy. But he has a good heart

As someone that has mental illnesses herself, especially something that’s a close related disease with FTD (I have OCD, which is pretty similar in comparison) I cannot stress just how much a mental illness can take over someone’s thought process. I did a whole FTD analyze during my own time, but I’m not sure if I ever posted it on this blog. If you wanna hear my thoughts, just ask me for the link and I’ll send it to ya, along with the Nagito X Talentless!SO post ;). But again, I’m not using his FTD as a ‘get outta jail free card’, but it does ‘aid’ in his obscure way of thinking. I personally don’t mind when people portray him as a cinnamon roll, cause I kinda do, but then again, not in the traditional sense 

As in, he’s not an ‘uwu precious cinnamon roll that did no wrong’ rather he’s a ‘hey, this guy had the best intentions in his heart, but his actions went down a wrong path’. Honestly, he needs a good therapy session, a self-help book, and a SO who is patient and understanding of him :)

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I personally believe he’d be the best boyfriend. Yes, he has his flaws like everyone else, but key word: Everyone else. He’s not perfect, but I honestly view him as someone that would give a relationship with someone he truly loves his all and best. It’s canon he will push people he cares about away because his luck can hurt them, but in a romantic AU where he IS in a relationship, he would try so hard, it would be cute. He wouldn’t think he’d the best at comforting people, or showing his love, but honey--he is! He’s constantly praising the ultimates and expresses his love is--*coughs* extreme ways--but overtime, if his SO teaches him to tone it down, his actions and words will be enough reassurance for his SO 

#Mod Mikan speaks! #Mod Mikan's thoughts of the day

[itisannak]

The Dr. Angel Face Q&A Inventory

. Fetish / Heat / Heat Extended / Dr. Angel Face

Hi loves. SInce I have been getting many questions regarding the Dr. Angel Face fic, I decided to put every question in this inventory.   The questions have a link for the original asks (in the ones that there is no hyperlink, it is because they were part of the previous question.) I will add questions as they come in the future, so the list is going to be updated in the future.

How old is Dr. (Y/L/N)? Is she older than Calum? She was a child prodigy and graduated early (kinda like Maggie Pierce from Grey’s Anatomy). But she is definitely older than Calum. They met while she was in her final year as a resident and they’ve been together ever since. Now she is an attending, so it means she is in her late 20′s (for Dr. Angel Face, I wrote her to be around 28-29). So, I would say she is older than Calum by 4 or 5 years. But I didn’t focus much on her age, to be honest with you.

What is going on in the alternative part? I will not say much because I don’t want to spoil it, but it involves a storyline regarding Episodes 16x09 &16x10 from Grey’s Anatomy.

 Does Calum’s family like Y/N’s family? Does Calum’s family like Y/N and vice versa? The families are not meeting very often, but they do get along pretty well. Remember (Y/N)’s mother calling her towards the end of Heat ? (Y/N)’s parents love that guy, he is funny, charming and overly supportive of their daughter, what is not to love? And Calum’s side of the family nearly worship (Y/N). I will explore more of their relationship on the 4th part of Dr. Angel Face.

 Do fans like Y/N? How is the media treating their relationship? Now, the fans and media are divided. Most of the fans love (Y/N), but there are people who are also mad at her for stealing their fav, or accuse her of not paying attention to Calum just because Cal’s and (Y/N)’s love language is not like the other guys’ and their girlfriends. And of course, like I mentioned on Dr. Angel Face  there have been instances in which people went to the ER and asked for Calum’s girlfriend. As of the media, Calum and (Y/N), definitely have been very low-key about their relationship. In the beginning, it was easier to hide, but after a while, people started to suspect. So, they decided to stop the chase and come forward about their relationship.

 Would Y/N use Calum’s last name after their marriage? I feel like she wouldn’t legally change it. Like professionally, she still keeps her last name (my girl didn’t go to college, medical school, went through internship, residency, fellowship and became this strong ass neuro goddess to change her name, no ma’am.) But, I feel like she would adore being called Ms. Hood or Dr. Hood in her private life. Like her friends would actually start that to tease her but she would actually love it. And Calum would also love to call her Dr. Hood. Like, imagine walking up in the morning and making Calum breakfast, and he goes like, “Oh, thank you Dr. Hood” as she passes him his mug of coffee and he wraps his arms around her waist. Oh my God, I would melt. So, she actually wouldn’t legally change her name, but she would love letting her husband and friends call her by his.

 Does Calum’s family have an issue with the age difference? So, the age difference is not that big now. I mean, on the last part I wrote Calum as his current age (maybe a year older than he is now), and I wrote her in her late 20′s. So, they aren’t that many years apart. But when they started dating, it was kinda weird for both their families to see them together, because they couldn’t see what Calum and (Y/N) had in common. Now, pretty much no one cares about it.

Does Y/N visit Calum while he is on tour? She doesn’t visit as often as the other girlfriends, and whenever she visits it is for just a few days (which is an issue in their relationship and I will DEFINITELY write more about it on the alternative chapter)

 Do they get in trouble when Calum is visiting her on the hospital? I never really thought about it much, but there were definitely times they were caught, not only while going at it, but at times they were just hanging during (Y/N)’s free time, I guess I could put it like that. Now, there will be a scene or two of calum visiting on Dr. Angel Face part 4, so I will be able to give more details then. But they never really got in serious trouble, since (Y/N) was always exceptional while working

 Does Y/N get along with Mali? She has a pretty good relationship with Mali. They don’t see each other very often, because Mali lives in the UK and (Y/N)’s work hours are crazy so it’s not easy for her to leave and visit. But they hang out whenever possible, and since they are so close age-wise, I can easily imagine them being friends.

 Since Calum is a vegetarian, would Y/N be a vegetarian too? It is up to you that one, depending on whether it would be something you’d do or not. Keep in mind that the Dr. Angel Face fic is still a reader insert, just like the rest of my stories. In my head, I don’t really think that she would become a vegetarian if she didn’t want to be, just to please Calum. I feel like she would respect his choice and try to support him and join him on eating more plant-based, but she wouldn’t change if she didn’t feel like it was her choice. Also, a general tip for people out there, don’t change aspects of you just to please your partner, if you don’t feel like changing. You will feel trapped and forced to, and you’ll end up miserable.

 Would they post about each other on their social media? Calum is always very low-key about his personal life and doesn’t really post frequently, so I think that would be a theme in their relationship too. He wouldn’t really post about (Y/N) on Instagram, but there would be occasions when he couldn’t help himself and post a cute picture of (Y/N) cuddling Duke, or a candid of (Y/N) drinking coffee. Now (Y/N) would be a bit more open on Instagram, she would post pics of him or short videos from their daily life, something that the fans would really appreciate. On Twitter though, whenever he would have his little twitter sprees, he would be bombarded with questions about (Y/N), and he would pick one or two of them to answer them in his significant funny way.

 How would their careers effect their relationship? How good is their communication? Do they act as a safe space / comfort buddy for each other? I will touch a lot more on the hit their relationship takes due to their careers, on the alternative part. Basically, the plot for this one will revolve around what would happen if Calum was unable to keep the promise he gave (Y/N) when they first started dating ( “I want to be everything I can be to you.” He assures me; all I can do is stare at his lips, how nicely they move as he talks. “Cal, I told you before I don’t do the dating song and dance, and I told you the reason why. If… If this gets more, are you sure you will be ok with me canceling last minute because of emergency surgery? Are you willing to get into this whole thing?” I ask and he chuckles. “I told you before, I get you. I am willing to do it if you are.” He replies, resting his hand on my cheek. “Are you sure? Between my surgeries and your concerts, the time we will have…” I begin but he places his thumb on my bottom lip. “The time we will have together will be even more precious. I don’t wanna pressure you. If you want me to be just a friend, I understand.” He states, moving to pull his hand away, but my hand wraps around his wrist, keeping it there. “I want you to be everything you can be to me… I really do.” I whisper and his hand slides to the back of my head. “Then I will be everything.” He replies, licking his lips a little.)

Now, on the communication matter, on the main timeline of this AU, both of them make sure to give each other time to calm down (or in most cases, get some sleep to get their heads straight) before talking through their problems. There are a lot of moments when they are silent, to keep from fuming up. Most of the times, when they have a fight, it is because of distance or because they miss each other, so by the time Calum’s back from tour, or (Y/N) is off the service so she is home, the fight is forgotten. On the safety/comfort issue, to be honest, I wanted to include a scene in which (Y/N) had to deal with the death of a patient who was very important to her. I wanted to show how Calum would help her, what his reactions would be to (Y/N) almost breaking down, but the scene didn’t make the cut because I felt like it was too heavy on the course I wanted to take with this story. But definitely, Calum had to deal with (Y/N) being sad, or disappointed, or angry even, about her cases, which caused him to develop a coping mechanism to help her feel a lot better. And (Y/N) had to deal with all the times 5sos got overlooked by the music industry/awards/charts (all tea, all shade, I am looking at you Grammy’s and Billboard)  and the way it affected Calum. Or with how frustrated he would get after sessions in which he wouldn’t perform as he wished, or with all the second-guessing and doubt that comes with putting something new out there (albums, tours, singles, you name it). So I can definitely picture them going through something like that, shutting everything out, holding each other close and whispering words of assurance. Or building a fort and watching movies in it, just to get their minds off whatever it is that is bugging them. Or just staying up talking, drinking coffee, helping each other see things through. I feel like (Y/N) and Calum are this couple that talks a lot, about anything that bothers them. I also feel that they would barely ever fight, they would just discuss things out, try to help each other see the other’s point of view.

 Does Y/N visit on the studio, concerts, video sets or Friends of Friends events? Actually I am planning a studio visit, and a charity concert where Y/N visits him for the 4th installation of the original time line. It is going to be a long part, the 4th one

 They seem to be a very sexual couple? Will there be mentions of experimentation in the upcoming chapters? I would like to explore that on the 4th installment of the main timeline. I feel like this one will be the longest yet since I have so many things I want to include in this story. Maybe I can also include that to the pool party extension. This couple is definitely a fan of public teasing and wearable toys (plugs, cock rings, Lush toys, you name it) I always wanted to show the BDSM experimentation they would be having. I feel like I have written such a healthy relationship for them that the portrayal of a healthy BDSM type of sexual relationship would be a lot fitting. I can tell you for sure there won’t be any depiction of their sexual life on the Alternative chapter I am going to write. I plan for it to be angst and focus on very different things.

  How intense is the alternative part going to be? Is Cal going to cheat on Y/N? He is not going to unfaithful, no. And neither is (Y/N).   The story will revolve around how hard this relationship is for them. (Y/N) is constantly preoccupied with her job, and Calum is away (on tour, promo, studio sessions). The story is going to be a what-if. What if the love they have for each other is not enough? What if Calum has had enough of (Y/N) putting other people above him? What if (Y/N) is tired of Calum being away? What if it is time for them to let go? The story, in regards to time, is going to occur after Heat. I am thinking about starting the story at 2 years they have been together. It will start with a couple of fights about (Y/N) cutting dates early due to emergency, then Calum spending hours in the studio, which results in them not spending time together. So, before he leaves for a promo tour, they decide it’s better they break up. But… that’s not the end of them, of course.

 Who is Y/N the closest to out of the rest of the guys? I think she would be a lot close to Ashton. At first, she wanted to impress him because he is Calum’s best friend, but as they continued talking and hanging out, she would start admiring him, finding him a lot interesting. They share their love for Calum, both of them caring and loving Calum so much they would do anything for his happiness. And they are close, age-wise. I said on an ask before that Y/N is 4 or 5 years older than Calum, so that makes her 2 to 3 years older than Ashton. Ashton would think of her as a superhero (more on that on the Heat pool party extension), always asking her about her cases. Their friendship would be so amazing. I explore more of it on the Heat extension, as well as show Y/N interact with the rest of the gang a lot more on it.

 Does any of Calum’s family members or friends have issues with their relationship and vice versa? I don’t see a reason why anyone would have issues with Y/N. She is a doctor, smart, caring, has a great job, loves Calum a lot and makes him very happy. Joy practically adores her; she is devastated when y/n and calum break up on the alternative part. Calum’s father also likes her very much and he knows that his son made the right choice when they started dating. Ashton and Y/N are practically besties, Luke and Michael find her charming and like her a lot with Calum. In the beginning, Sierra, Crystal, and KayKay thought she would be distant but found out she is actually a cool person. Other friends of Calum are totally ok with her. Y/N’s circle thought the match was a bit weird in the beginning, I mean, she is older and she is a doctor and he is a musician, it is not a lot common. But seeing them together leaves no doubt that they belong together. Everyone who matters to Calum and y/n approves of them, and that is all that matters to them.

 Have they ever found the age gap to be intimidating? The age gap is barely an age gap. They are 4 years apart, it’s really not a big issue. It’s not like she is 30 and he is 18, they are both in their twenties, him mid-twenty and her lat-twenty. I really don’t see why 4 years would be so intimidating.

 Did Y/N move in with Calum or did Calum move in with Y/N? Y/N was having a roommate while she was with Calum, some doctor from the hospital (in Grey’s Anatomy terms, it would be like Arizona living with DeLuca in season 12) so Y/N moved in with Calum before they purchased a house together when they decided their relationship was actually getting serious (that was around their 2nd anniversary)

 What about their anniversary/ valentine’s day/ honeymoon? I feel that they would barely ever have the chance to celebrate those things like ‘normal’ people would. I feel like they would send each other flowers for the sake of it, with cute little notes full of inside jokes or spicy stuff (or possibly both) For their honeymoon, I think they would go on it months after their actual wedding. After the wedding, they would spend the weekend at a luxury hotel, And then, months after, when things would get a little chaotic for both of them (on a previous ask I mentioned y/n dealing with loss and calum dealing with disappointment), they would just take the trip. Somewhere warm and nice. I am thinking Fiji islands, then New Zealand, so they could visit Calum’s roots, and of course Australia. just for a few days, to see Calum’s family and wander around a bit. I am thinking that their honeymoon would actually be a month-long one, them just being together, no distractions, just to sink in the “married life” and set their minds straight. And I think that on the milestone anniversaries (e.g 5 years together, one year married), they would just go on little road trips. They would get a little RV and drive somewhere, finding cute little places to camp out.

 How did the concept of the Dr. Angel Face fic occur to you? I get inspired by so many things. The Doctor Angel Face au was created kinda by accident. I wrote the first part, Fetish while watching an episode of Grey’s anatomy and I kinda wondered how I could fit my characters into the GA universe. The Fetish part was a request so I wanted to give something unique. I didn’t think I could actually cultivate it into a series. Then I wrote the Heat part. I was actually inspired by a Greek Trap song called Caliente (which was the original title of the story). I wanted the story to revolve around the sexual chemistry of the couple, and I actually didn’t plan on it being a part 2 to the Fetish story. But I started writing and the universe I was creating fit so well with the Fetish story, so I made a couple of changes to fit it in. Then people started liking the Doctor AU and asked for more. So I came up with the Dr. Angel Face part. I wanted it to be this cozy, Christmas story but didn’t want to limit it to just it. So, a follower of mine ( @saphseoul​ ) suggested a couple of things I should include into it, like their backstory. Their backstory was inspired by a story Ashton told on a soundcheck about the day the met Andy Deluca (basically, Ashton and Calum were in a car accident but they were fine so they sat on the curb and ate chicken tenders and drank milkshakes). I felt like that would be such a great backstory for them. And of course some parts of them are kinda inspired by the episodes of GA, but I try not to copy them. For the Alternative part of the Dr. Angel Face, I was inspired by something that might sound stupid, but it is actually the truth. I was actually inspired by a daydream. Back in December, I was working on the shittiest job I’ve ever worked, so to cope I built the scenario about the alternative (I quit from the job by the way). It is angsty and a bit torturing, to be honest, but like all my stories, it will have a happy ending. But I can get inspired by anything and everything. I have been writing for 6 years now, for the last 3 I have been writing daily, which helps me keep my inspiration flowing. 

What can we expect from the future parts?

I can tell you that the alternative part is going to be the angstiest and sweetest part ever. Y/N is kinda a broody brat, always trying to provoke Calum (but honestly she is right, she is getting back to him for what happens at the beginning of the fic). And Calum is kind of a bitch but has a great arc. Even though it is an angst fic, I am not going to ruin my favorite couple, so it will have a soft ending. I don’t remember exactly when I have it scheduled for posting, because I have quite a few stories queued. For the 4th part of Dr. Angel Face, the fic begins right after the wedding in the hospital. I plan on focusing it more on them becoming a family (just the two of them plus Duke for this part), and their honeymoon. Plus, I think that I want the fic to focus more on how (Y/N) deals with Calum’s career ( I have in mind to include a Friends of Friends concert, maybe an award show). I consider cutting this part in half so it won’t be too long, so the second part will be more on their plans of having a baby together, including how realistic this would be, how they would handle the responsibility, plus I want to write something into this fic kinda like the Family Cuddles story I have with Ashton. And I have the prequel of the Dr. Angel Face. This will be their story from their meeting to them moving in together. I will also include some storylines of their lives before they got together. Those are my plans for the story this far. I don’t know if there will be more stories after I am done with those, but I sure hope so.

 For some reason, I feel like Dr. (Y/N) and Maggie Pierce would have such a great friendship? Maggie is one of my fav characters (you can’t change my mind, I said what I said) and I think they would be really close. Y/N was also a child prodigy (I mentioned it before and I will write more on it on the Dr. Angel Face Prequel) and I feel they would bond a lot over it. On the Alternative Chapter, I wrote a lot about her relationship with Meredith and now I kinda regret not including Maggie more on it. Y/N is close with Amelia and Meredith so it makes so much sense that she would be with Maggie as well.

 Who’s the hardest character to write? I don’t really have trouble writing for characters I guess (probably because I don’t go in-depth with characters). But I guess I will say (Y/N), since I had to look up medical terminology, fit her in an already existing universe (that of Grey’s anatomy).

Who’s the easiest character to write? The easiest character to write was Calum, hands down. Starting this fic I had already built him in my head so he was really written automatically.

 Favorite scene you’ve written? It is so difficult to pick just one favorite scene. I guess it is on Part 3 (The Dr. Angel Face chapter), their wedding sequence. I think it captures the essence of their relationship, that they don’t need anything fancy to love each other, they just want to cherish one another on any chance they get. Writing that scene felt like writing the core of the couple, it is a lot more than just a wedding scene.

  Hardest part about writing? The hardest part about writing in general is getting the perfect conditions to do so. My house is always noisy and I rarely have a proper workspace, so adjusting to my environment and being able to write unbothered is something I can’t do easily. Also, editing is very hard too.  On the Dr. Angel Face fic, specifically, the hardest part was being able to keep a balance between fiction and realism. I don’t want my stories to feel unrealistic so I always strive to write things you would encounter irl (I hope I am successful at it, I am really trying hard)

 Easiest part about writing? The easiest part about writing the Dr. Angel Face AU is the interactions between the characters, finding the reasoning behind what they do, and how the others react to their doings. You will see next week when I post the Alternative part that everything my characters do is justified by past actions and their relationships with others.

Omg doctor x cal is like my relationship goals!! So mature and healthy relationship. Because they have such a busy life I can see them enjoying the little moments. Like cuddling the first thing in the morning when they wake before work. Coming home together and making dinner together while listening to music. Like they’re the IT couple That they are. I wanted to write a relationship for Calum that would be drama and stress-free. And I wanted the relationship to have its little flaws but them always dealing with them the adult way. I really love the way that relationship has evolved throughout the fic and I am so excited to write the continuation of it. There are going to be so many little moments like those ones in the following parts (well, not in the alternative one, that one is aaaaangstyyyyy) It makes me so happy to see people love that relationship as much as I do. And I wish everyone finds a relationship like this one. Y’all deserve it

 So I read this headcanon that said calum would totally refer to s/o as “the mrs” especially when talking to other ppl about her. I can totally see cal doing that for dr y/n.. talking to the boys, his mom, or in interviews I feel like he wouldn’t do it in interviews because people could misinterpret it as minimizing her and we all know Calum is too smitten with Dr. Angel Face to do that, but with the boys and his family, oh he would do it all the time. And Dr. (Y/N) would adore it, almost as much as she would adore being called Dr. Hood in private (like, not in the hospital, but Calum calling her Dr. Hood while they are being their goofy selves, or Ashton teasing her, oof, she loves it) But I also feel like Calum and Y/N would have a bit of a hard time calling each other “my husband” or “my wife”.  Like, picture that: “My boyfriend is coming home tonight” “I thought you are married…” “Right… My HUSBAND is coming home tonight.”  or Calum calling (Y/N) his girlfriend by accident and (Y/N) playfully correcting him. “You are starring at me. Stop.” “What? Can’t I just look at my gorgeous girlfriend?” “Honey, we are married. I am not your girlfriend anymore.” “Shit, I still can’t believe you are my wife.” Or Calum introducing (Y/N) to new people. “This is my ex-girlfriend, Dr. (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” “He means I am his wife now.” I can’t choose which one is more cannon, so I will be using all 3 in parts 4 and 5

 Rockstar and a doctor dating... what a couple!! Their character development makes them so great and humble ppl. Like typically when ppl make so much money they have to be super flashy and buy crazy expensive Well, Calum gives off that down to earth vibe so, I don’t think he would be with someone who is flashy. Also, Y/N studied medicine and she is a surgeon, meaning she had her fair share of student loans to pay off, which caused her to be more considerate of how to spend money. They truly have a lavish home though and both of them have cars, but they never go above and beyond to flash their wealth. I will describe their house on Dr. Angel Face Prequel and on parts 4 and 5, it is truly a lovely home.

 I think they’re house would be amazing. From what I imagine it’d be beautifully decorated.. simplicity and modern. Calum’s album plaques hanging & her doctorate degree hanging/ or her graduation pictures The have a glass case full of awards and degrees and a wall that is covered with album plaques (Y/N convinced him to actually hang them on a wall and display them in their living room instead of having them laying around). The glass display was built by Calum himself, as a little gift for Y.N once they moved in together. She had her awards and her degrees in a box in her old apartment, so Calum felt like giving her a proper place for them, with Y/N insisting his very own awards to accompany them. There are also a lot of framed pictures of them, kinda hang like a timeline; them being kids, teens, adults, Y/N’s graduations and Calum’s significant performances, album releases, overall achievements. And then pictures of them together, from dates, to anniversaries, to trips, then a few pictures they took of each other, or others took of them together (like candids of their cute little moments). And eventually their wedding and family pictures. A little fairytale hanging and showcased on their wall for everyone to see. The house is simple and has a touch of modern as you mentioned, but It is worth saying that they have made it absolutely personal. Every furniture was hand picked from antique stores or from retailers with a unique sense of style, but keeping a simplicity in every room to be able to decompress after a hectic day. The house took months to finish decorating and furnishing, due to the couple wanted every single thing in the house to have character, so they were looking for specific things. Plus, there was a lot of arts and crafts going on in the house; they painted it together, they built furniture together, they assembled things together. They did it while Calum was in a bit of a hiatus after dropping an album (think about the period after Youngblood and before CALM), so it was more of a project for him to keep busy. But Y/N actually enjoyed building a home with him. It was a sign that the relationship she had with Calum would last. I got carried away with this. I can’t wait until I can talk more about their house in the stories. Mostly on the prequel, since it is actually about what happens between them meeting and them getting married. But also on parts 4 and 5, with them changing from being just boyfriend-girlfriend to being a family (not necessarily having kids, but building more on their existing relationship).

 I just realized how opposites really attract like dr. Y/n cal. Their lifestyles are so different. She was a child prodigy while he was a dropout. They’re so cute Yes, they are a bit different in that area, but they have quite a lot in common. Both are compassionate, considerate, loving people. They have a great sense of humor and a common code of communication and their moral compasses are matching. Plus, Calum legit is a cultivated person (the way he talks, the way he shows himself in the world, reveal that he is educated even though he is a dropout.) So they are both very smart people. They are very cute indeed and they act as a driving force for each other to become better.

 Loved the story (Dr. Angel Face Alternative). Time line confused me a little. It takes place before heat yet the mention of planning for children doesn’t happen until dr. Angel face? It is an alternative, which means that this is a different way their story as a couple could have developed. Any story after Fetish doesn’t happen on the alternative timeline The alternative timeline is: Prequel ——-> Fetish ——> Dr. Angel Face Alternative The original timeline is: Prequel ——> Fetish —–> Heat (+ Extended) —-> Dr. Angel Face —–> Dr. Angel Face Part 4 —–> Dr. Angel Face Part 5

 I’ve noticed cal always has a baby girl in your fics is that intentional or random? Btw I loved the au of Dr Angel face seeing them expecting a daughter kinda made me think how it’d be if they were expecting a boy and how C would be around his baby boy. Huh, I never noticed. I guess every time I picture Calum with a baby, it is always a girl ( I love how soft he is for his mom and his sister, so I can’t help but melt at the thought of him with a baby girl). But on the main timeline, I had planned for him to have a boy. It fits the fic well, in my opinion, and since the part I posted yesterday was an alternative, I chose a girl, to highlight how different the alternative part is from the original AU

 When do you plan to post the fourth part of Dr Angel Face? have you already written it or do you still need to finish it off? Haven’t written it yet, nor even started it. I am doing the prequel first (totally random pick, blame google for randomizing my requests). I will definitely post it in 2020, maybe for Christmas or the 5sos anniversary. I don’t know yet.

 I can’t wait till doctor y/n and cal have a baby. they’d be the cutest parents ever!! They’d be super busy and hectic with their schedule but it would be so great. Calum would be an absolute sweetheart during (y/n)’s pregnancy, taking care of her but letting her do her thing, spoil (y/n) rotten, talking to the baby, visiting (y/n) even more frequently at the hospital to see if she is ok. Oh, he would be the softest dad ever. And then with the baby… he would be so cute and protective. taking care of the newborn to let (y/n) rest, and then when the baby is old enough to go to the hospital daycare, he would visit all the time to spend time with the baby and see the mama. He would take the baby to the studio as well, trying to get the kiddo into music early on. And then when (y/n) would be off service and Calum would be free of obligations, they would just get in the car and drive to the beach, or the woods or a hiking trail and have quality time with their baby.

 Idk why but I feel like the baby would be a carbon copy of calum. His mom has some strong genes Their baby would so well loved, especially with being the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Between the band, y/n family, calum family, and y/n friends they would all love the baby there would be even more privacy now they had a baby. All the fans & media would be dying to see a picture of the baby. Both Mali and Calum are the spitting image of Joy and I am so sure the baby will look like her. (Calum’s baby pictures make my heart melt and I can only imagine y/n trying to recreate them, sending them to Calum’s side of the family so they can collectively have their hearts melt at the sight) That child would be spoiled, everyone showering him with gifts, playing with him for hours. He would be cuddled all the time, especially by (y/n) who when she wouldn’t be working she would not leave him on his feet. On the privacy matter, I agree with you 100%. The Hood-(Y/L/N) family is adamant about not exposing the baby to this world at such a young age. The world is dying for a picture but at best they get a look at the back of the baby’s head. Calum would occasionally answer questions about the baby, but always being careful about what he shares and they would barely ever post pictures with the child, even once he is older. (I can picture Calum posting a picture of his son wearing daddy’s merch, custom-made for him. Or (Y/N) posting a pic of the boys playing with Duke or playing soccer together, and the internet would have a collective meltdown. Of course, that would happen when the baby would be older, like 4 or 5 years old.) (Or maybe Calum would share a picture of baby number one holding baby number two, after completely hiding y/n’s second pregnancy from the world -well, friends and family would know but they would hide it from fans and the media)

 Omg I just read your ask about dr. Angel face and cal!! I’m in love with dad cal the pregnancy will be so cute. I think cal would be protective because with being a surgeon is a difficult job but he knows she can handle herself so he lets her do her thing. The first time they hear the heartbeat on the ultrasound!! And setting up the nursery when they find time!! There is definitely some struggle for Calum during (Y/N)’s pregnancy. He wants to be protective and he wishes she would book fewer hours of surgery, but at the same time, he knows she wouldn’t do something to hurt herself and their baby. He also knows she is a doctor and that she knows a bit more than him. So he sits a bit back and makes sure she feels ok, takes care of her when she is home.  They would both go crazy over the baby’s heartbeat. Calum would be shocked, never having experience with anything like that, plus knowing that’s his kid in there, he would be so emotional. And (Y/N) would also be so enamored by that bub’s heartbeat. I feel like her maternal instinct would only become stronger after that. I can certainly see them looking online for all the furniture (remember, they are trying to keep a low profile), and Calum would invite the boys over to help him. Everyone would just try to show off because everyone wants to be the baby’s godparent (joke’s on them, they already picked Mali for the role). And the walls of the nursery would be covered in paintings because Calum read it is good for the baby’s brain to have visual stimuli early on (one wall would be sea-themed, the other woodland-themed, then a rainforest-themed wall, and an Australian wildlife wall so the baby has an early connection to his root, and the ceiling just has the most amazing universe-themed painting, including constellations, planets, nebulas). Now, depending on their place in the room, the furniture would be of various colors to fit with the theme of the wall behind them. They didn’t want to have a color scheme for the room, they opted for the most colorful room (they both agree that a child’s room shouldn’t be boring, nor monochromatic)

 What scene did you first put down? The first scene I ever put down was from Fetish, in which Y/N walks into their home to find that Calum working on some lyrics. I am lucky that I have a very linear way of writing, so whatever scene you see first on my fic, that is the start of it. Now, if we are talking about Dr. Angel Face as in the self-titled chapter, the first scene I came up with and made a plot for was the scene Y/N gets called and is informed that Calum has been hurt and he is in the hospital. That was the main point of the fic for me, since it was a great opportunity to show the characters interact, how protective Y/N is when it comes to Calum, as well as introduce a bit of a backstory of how they came to be.

 What’s your favorite line of narration? I have so many favorites. Ooof, it is so hard for me to pick just one line of narration and dialogue. I loved the narration of the Alternative part (the whole story is a masterpiece if you are asking me and totally underrated). I feel like that alternative chapter points out all the things that could be wrong with Calum’s and Y/N’s relationship, but also how they would still make things work between them.  I also loved writing their first 2 dates and their first kiss (those scenes are on the prequel, so I can’t wait to share the new part with you)

 What’s your favorite line of dialogue? My favorite dialogue has to be their vows. Oh, my heart hurts when I think about it. Especially Calum’s “ Love does exist, and her name is (Y/N). “ I had a meltdown writing it. And Y/N’s “ My sweetest love, if fate wants me to be with anyone, if fate wants me to be anything more than I already am, I know that it’s you, I know that it is to be yours and you to be mine “… I am still not over it. As you might have seen, I do mostly dialogue in my stories. I feel like it is a better way to show the characters’ reactions and get the story moving.

 Why’d you pick calum for the story? The story started from a Calum request, so I guess I didn’t really pick him. But, I chose to continue this fic with Calum because he is the most fitting. He is compassionate and down to earth and has a very calming aura, which I felt would go great with y/n and her profession. (But let’s be honest here, I picked him mainly because he is my favorite)

 What was the character development process like? I don’t remember ever sitting down and having a plan of how I wanted the characters to develop. I understand how much they have changed from the original concept I had in my head, now that I am writing the prequel and I have to kinda start their relationship and them as individuals from scratch. I think I always let my characters grow through interactions with each other because it really feels more natural than following an arc strictly. If you really think about it, as people we grow and evolve through our interaction with others and through our experiences. And I guess that’s what I do to develop my characters. 

As you were talking about doctor y/n... I think baby bumps are so cute!! I imagine it being so adorable. Especially with her work clothes. She would be such a great mom Y/N waddling around in her all-blue scrubs, like a little penguin is honestly heart-melting. She would get such guilt for trying to balance work and being a mom, especially after going back from her maternity leave. And Calum would feel the same too; just 2 months after the baby was born, he would have to leave for tour and he felt like he was missing out and he wasn’t helping y/n much. It would take them a while to realize that when they are doing what they love and they take care of themselves, they are better parents to baby Hood. They are both such great parents, baby Hood is so lucky on that. He is so much loved by everyone; parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, his parents’ friends. He is a ray of sunshine; according to Calum, he gets it from his mama

#calum hood #calum 5sos #Calum Thomas Hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood fic #calum hood smut imagine #calum hood smut fic #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer smut imagine #5 seconds of summer smut fic #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos fic #5sos smut #5sos smut imagine #5sos smut fic #calum hood smut #5 seconds of summer smut #imagine #fic #smut imagine #smut fic #smut #c.t.h #wattpad #wattpad writer #ask #asks

[plounce]

tma fic recs? i went into ao3 and it was a mess

yeah it’s been slow-going for me too because of the amount of freak shit people post/have posted, as well as the fact that a lot of the high-kudos’d jm fics are from before s4 really ramped up their relationship development. and i’ve found i can get pretty picky about martin’s characterization. here’s a couple i’ve read and liked

(now with a read more because it’s gotten long) (updated 2/15/20)

the umbrella (4.6k) - mag160 fixit, probably my favorite fixit so far. includes canon-level non-graphic blinding. but it has a happy ending. it’s tma, i don’t need things to be light and fluffy all the time, i’m good with canon level darkness yk? as long as there’s a happy ending and the gays’ love for each other is pure.

feel the done days and you’re pulling through (1.8k) - jon deprogramming from being an avatar. living a very domestic and idyllic life. it’s adorable

all resistance wearing thin (4.7k) - ok this is the ONLY web!martin concept ive ever liked. bc it doesn’t make martin a crazy villain hes still himself and hes just NICE he LOVES people (aka jon). and we all like to indulge in a bit of mutually obsessive love. happy ending :)

some invitation of light (4k) - i love the joke that “martin is proof that playing hard to get works,” and this fic is in line with that. i’m picky about jealousy in fics but this one was enjoyable

ways to save the world (19.3k) - oooooogh urghhhhh jon gets trapped in the lonely and martin communicates to him through passages of poetry… im a total sucker for epistolary fics and this one was so GOOD

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above all shadows (4.3k) - canon divergent from s4, written before the finale. very fairytale esque. theres some paragraphs in this that made me go HAM

catch and release (2.3k) - pre canon divergence au where theyre both avatars being spooky and doing a back and forth. martin is full lonely and jon got RAISED BY SPIDERS. somewhat edgy but in a fun way. we love creepy shit

agate, amber, amethyst (994) - short sweet and soppy. magpie jon is so utterly charming to me.

reciprocity (1.9k) - short and sweet caretaking stuff. both these bitches need to sleep.

always a reason (1.7k) - we love jon taking care of martin!! as he deserves!

pl: nuclei; but you only need one, anyway. (1.1k) - s3 phone calls with jon asking martin for research help. timezones. jon trying to stretch those “i care about you” muscles

1. can’t be helped (5.3k) 2. rituals (8.4k) - two fics in a series. very monster boyfriend. the first is martin losing his emotions to the lonely. the second is martin getting them back, but jon has been subsumed by The Archivist, which is figuring out what martin means to it. there was a moment in the second that made me go a little whoa hey! it was the archivist compelling martin. but it wasn’t anywhere near enough to make me stop reading. they were good, heartrending reads.

misshapes, mistakes, monsters (7.9k) - jon takes martin as his plus one to an oxford reunion. an enjoyable read, along with an almost cartoonishly villainous posh man. pining! “it’s nice to feel like i’m something worth protecting” arrrghhhh

small things, simple acts (6.6k) - post-159 fic. bookmarked this one! because they LOVE each other and TRY SO HARD for each other!!!! jon buys martin a stuffed cow because he saw martin looking at it and theyre TRYING for it. “There are a lot of things that Jon can’t give him, like safety or a normal life. But he can absolutely get him a stuffed toy just because he looks like he wants it.”

i’m almost me again, you’re almost you (12.9k) - you know when you try to feel feelings and it’s like touching a hot stove? that’s what martin does this whole fic as he’s recovering from the lonely and jon is being so achingly sweet and good with him, but martin can’t 1. deal with it just yet 2. believe that jon loves him back. post-159 fic. god. READING it felt like touching a hot stove, or stepping into warm bathwater with cold feet. jesus christ. excellent

fate, or something (107.8k) - this is that 100k blind date s1 canon divergence au, and i tried it out and i LOVED IT. martin has a spine! it’s just so sweet. they’re friends! martin works with melanie for ghost hunt uk! a great read. it’s that sloooowwww burn shit.

forever is composed of nows (5.9k) - jon meets martin (a single dad) and martin’s daughter (agnes! who had good writing for a child in a fanfiction) in the library and things grow from there. this fic is SO CUTE. it’s wonderful. i literally had to take breaks while reading it to make wild animal noises because i couldn’t deal with it. god. it’s so good. UGH (thanks to @infernallegaycy for the rec!)

and i won’t pray for an unfilled grave (5.9k) - daisy after coming out of the buried. daisira and daisy&melanie bonding. WOMENNNNN I LOVE WOMEN

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hello my old heart (15.8k) - jess @thedistortion, the person who got me into tma and a dear pal, wrote this, and their brain is utterly huge and good. i love this so much. a deeply excellent post-159 fic that i would also say is pre-160. so many parts of this make me gasp and clutch my chest! but it also has an excellent realism to it. spiders that enrage me. please read.

yesterday is here (26.6k+, WIP) - post-canon jon and martin travel back in time and hang out with the pre-canon crew and attempt to make everything better. guaranteed happy ending. it’s so sweet watching jon be so kind and gentle and Better At People with his coworkers and make things right - and the s1 jon and martin fumble at seeing their extremely married and Knowing counterparts.

a measure outside the lines (22.9k) - i looove post-159 fics that show that martin hasn’t been completely severed from the lonely and still really struggles with it. this one is EXCELLENT at it. there’s some moments in this one that just made me totally ache because oh… oh martin. it’s so wonderful and has such excellent emotional catharsis

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interlude (7.8k) - s3 au where georgie meets martin over facetime with jon! makes me wistful for the friendship they could have had without all the coping mechanisms in the way. the fond teasing is very cute. the pining! the banter! the slips of the tongue! very, very enjoyable.

skin deep (3.1k) - another s3 au where georgie meets martin on better terms - she calls him for help after jon’s meeting with jude (as jon’s locked himself in his room). the way jon leans on martin and lets him in and just… the way he behaves around him. very sweet.

bury my heart on the coals (3.6k+, WIP) - au where martin was one of gertrude’s assistants who is now a ghost haunting the archives. i’m enjoying how he’s so judgmental of jon and all the little signs of Haunting that jon and the assistants are experiencing.

nor any more youth or age than there is now (6.5k) - outsider pov of jon being a primary school teacher in scotland post 159!! so, so sweet. i LOVE outsider pov stories and this one is so good. jon using his powers to protect his students and displaying all that character growth he’s had… the glimpses of his domestic life with martin… it’s adorable. please check it out.

take sides in divided cells (3.4k) - in an idyllic domestic post-canon, martin’s father tries to reconnect with him. from jon’s pov, so it’s a lot of him worrying about martin and then being protective. oof! oof! emotional hurt/comfort.

pieces of you stuck on me (1.9k) - spy au. a little snapshot - i enjoy all the implied backstory going on. the thrill! the longing! the suspense! and i’m generally a sucker for spy aus, i’ll be real.

be kind, i beg you (14.9k) - post 159. oh this one is so achey… i love it. jon obsessing over “loved is past tense” and trying so hard to be Good to martin, while martin deals with mood swings from his recent emotional traumas. they try really hard and are very domestic, talk about gardening, and clean up the safehouse. LOVED THIS.

#chirps #tma #jonmartin #Anonymous #the magnus archives

[ubcs-dump]

Hell yes, tell us abt Mikhail. I bet you have a lot to say!

Short answer:

Long answer:

Okay so I will get real with all you guys on this one. I’ll start with a bit of a backstory with this because there is a reason why I love Mikhail so much.

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! MENTAL ILLNESSES AND SU*C*DAL THOUGHTS MENTIONED!!!

It was about 10 years ago. Imagine a 14 year old me, sitting alone in my dark room. My depression and various other mental illnesses are geting worse every day, they have been dragging me down for years now. I am living with abusive people who love to push me down even further, mocking me and bullying me even though they are considered my family. I was broken. I was in pain. The word ‘s//ui//ci//de’ has been clouding my mind for years now.I just picked up on Resident Evil through parodies of it on youtube. I watched someone play Resident Evil 3 Nemesis online because I remember that we owned that game but I was terrified of Nemesis on the box so I didn’t play it myself.Then I saw Mikhail, how he lay on the seats of the cable car. I could tell he was in pain and I felt deeply sorry for him. But it wasn’t a special feeling because I felt sorry for all the characters in the game. The person who played the game even mocked Mikhail for his looks. At first I laughed along but then there came a specific cutscene.And then Mikhail said something.Just one sentence.One line of dialoge.

It may just be a line of dialoge for most people. Some tiny bit of character developement sprinkled in for good meassure.But boy.I felt that.Suddenly I felt a deeper connection. It felt like I could see myself in Mikhail. He’s been through hell. He watched his men die in front of him. He is bleeding like crazy. He is in pain. Both mentally and physically. He’s expressing survivors guilt and it’s eating him up on the inside. When he said that line I literally teared up.I felt understood.And when he sacrificed himself to save Carlos and Jill, I cried. Hard. I cried because I was touched by his bravery. I cried because he deserved to live. I cried. Because I looked up to him. Without even realizing it, he became my role model. Mikhail is a kind soul, he is brave, determined, always trying his best, righteous, proud, a real team player and a wonderful leader. He is the kind of person I’ve always wanted to be.He quickly became my favorite character. I still watch all of the cutscenes with him every now and again when I need to hear his voice. I also sometimes browse his REwiki page just because I feel like it. When playing the Mercenaries minigame I always pick him.After meeting him I decided to keep going too. I can’t stop, no matter how broken and in pain I am. These wounds can’t stop me from fighting. I’ll keep fighting because I believe that I can get better if I just keep going. Fighting those demons off. Ignoring everyone who tells me otherwise. After all, I can’t stop just because I’m wounded.Also he is probably my biggest fictional crush ever lol. It’s been almost 10 years and I still can’t forget him and I still love him as much as I did on day 1.

Ever since then Mikhail has been a sort of voice of reason. When I’m feeling lost I ask myself what he would do in my situation. When I notice I haven’t eaten all day again, I’d imagine him trying to give me a pep talk. He became a coping mechanism and comfort character. I’ve been looking up to him for almost 10 years now, which is pretty rare when you know that I have tons of favorite characters that come and go, but he has always been my favorite Resident Evil character ever since that day.

I love everything about him. His backstory is tragic and herioc. He used to be an excellent soldier in the Russian SFSR before the Soviet Union collapsed. His wife was part of a minority who he fought for, causing him to be concidered a terrorist in the Russian Federation. After getting arrested he was approached by Umbrella. He agreed to join them but only if Umbrella does everything they can to ensure amnesty for his men.This just shows how much he cares for his comerades and loved ones. Mikhail joined a guerrilla organization to fight for the independence of the minority group his wife was a part of. He joined Umbrella, not because he himself wanted to be free, but because his men would be free.

I also really really like his relationship with Jill in the game. I could perfectly imagine them as very good friends. The way they talk with each other and how Jill tries to calm Mikhail down and helps and encourages him while also perfectly understanding the state he is in and the feelings and worries that are clouding his mind. I just love it and I demand fanart and fanfiction of a cute platonic relationship between these two. They are cute and precious.I sadly can’t say a lot about his relationships between him and the other members of the Operation-Jackal-Trio.Mikhail and Nikolai don’t interact at all. Which is bullsh*t because Capcom actually wanted them to be brothers and interact. That would have been an amazing addition. I want it back. My fav AU, hands down.Carlos mentions Mikhails name a few times (and by a few I mean two times). Once when explaining what happened and once when Mikhail got attacked in the cable car. I’m a bit sad we didn’t see more of them together. Carlos is certainly worried about Mikhails safety but I really wish they had expanded on that a little. I just wanted to see more interaction in general.

Mikhail also influenced my art. My nickname/pen name is Uby Victor. The ‘Uby’ part comes from the way you say the first two letters of the UBCS. And Victor isn’t hard to guess haha. Some people call me Victor too and I love it!! :3I also own an olive green beret in addition to my UBCS uniform. It’s just a prop and I guess just something I’ve always wanted to own haha. Now I just need to find a way to get the patch.I tried drawing him a few times but I’m an idiot and get flustered when I do so I usually stop before it’s even finished. I will probably never be able to draw him well haha. At least not with that attitude.

He’s also the reason I realized I have a soft spot for Russian accents. Even though Ben Campbell isn’t Russian, his accent is okay and I like his performance.

!!HORRIBLY HIGH LEVEL OF HONESTY AHEAD!!

I could probably rant even more about how much I love Mikhails personality. And his looks.

Have you seen those eyes??? That is one awesome dark shade of blue. Unrealistic I know but damn. I love them. And his golden hair. I wanna run my hand through it. And those arms. Mmmh. He could throw me across a football field with those and I’d say “Thanks, daddy, please do it again!”. He looks like he gives great hugs too. He’s like a big teddy bear, hence why I call him Mischka all the time haha. Also he is top notch soft daddy material. I’m not the only one with this opinion. Also his crotch. The bulge is big. Just take my word for it. Or take a look for yourself. His full body picture is at the top of this post. You have been warned.

!!HORRIBLY HIGH LEVEL OF HONESTY OVER!!

All of this is also why I do not like his R3MAKE version at all. The original RE3: Nemesis Mikhail means so so so much to me. I associate him with recovery. I look up to him and I basically owe him my life. So seeing him be changed that drastically in the R3MAKE just broke my heart. I will stick with the original because that’s the one I like the most.

I could tell more but this is already very long lmao

EDITED tl;dr: Thank you, Mikhail. You’ve helped me more than any living human being ever did. I owe you so much. You’re an angel and I love you.

~ Mod Uby

#UBCS #Resident Evil #ubyspeaks #mikhail victor #long post