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#this took a few years off my life not gonna lie
not-goldy · 21 hours
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What do you think about this? Almost 1000 Armys did not know the most touching and important moment that Jimin shared with us. If they were Jimin Solos, would the voting result be like this? I don't sympathize with them, but I think their presence is very important in Jimin's career, especially at this stage . and all the members should have their strong solo Fandom To carry their solo career .
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Sigh
Not gonna lie at this phase in my life I hate PJMs. all of them won't leave a single one of them out.
I'd shoot to kill if heard them wrestling in the dark.
And I think at this stage in Jimin's life he doesn't need the toxicity and the constant in house fighting and if that's all they can bring to the table then Jimin is better off without them.
Also, Jimin's actual fans show up when the need arise. They are not either Army or Solos. No. A lot of the support he gets comes from those silent stans with dormant social media accounts who barely say anything on the internet or partake in these polls- but let Jimin put out any content or show up anywhere. I call them the deep pocket Jims DPJ. deep Park Jimins if you will. They show up with the big guns to his knife fights sell him out spend so much on him like damn go off.
Those fans I like. Hell I will kiss their ass and polish their shoe part their ass while they fart 🤣
I don't know whether he needs those toxics.
He does have plans and goals however and I don't care if I sound crazy for saying this, but Jungkook is at the heart of those plans.
Everything he's done from day one to this day is to try to merge his fans and his. And if they not catching his drift they never will. Off with their heads.
So yea, if he has independent plans that is not intertwined with his band or Jungkook then sure he needs to cultivate a solo fanbase. A purely solo fanbase. Which is not possible. Those solos would always have other celebs they stan besides Jimin even if those idols aren't necessarily or remotely connected to Jimin.
But I hate solos for now. A. They are not really solos they just assholes 🙄
Pjms and JKks are like two toxic annoying intolerable distant cousins you want to shove to the ground each time you see them.
Just for no reason, stuff their face with dirt and feed them to the coyotes.
On that particular Jimin moment- it traumatized me and affected my mental health so bad I had to work through it with my therapists.
People have no idea how mentally impactful his words are.
I bought into this narrative that he struggled the most and was at his worst ever when he was running around bench pressing and carrying weights to look hypermasculine.
Everyone knows this, I had a mental breakdown on the internet when a few years ago he started working out again. To me it felt as if he was experiencing all that he'd experienced in the past all over again. When I tell you it wasn't a fun moment for me.
It's the only moment in my life I thought of unstanning Jimin. It felt like a betrayal to others but I needed to detach from his trauma so bad.
It took therapy for me to understand how enmeshed i was and how much I had overly empathized with him to the point I was taking on his pain and struggles and trauma without knowing.
It's also the period I learned how dangerous parasocial relationships are.
I get that sharing this vulnerable moments with us helps them bond with us and that's what they think when they share these things but some of us are more susceptible than others and it's reckless of them to dump such heavy stuff on us traumatize us with it and then turn around and indulge in those triggering activities for the sports of it without warning ⚠️
So yea, that moment is burned in my memory.
How can I forget.
And I don't know if you've been following the discussions on my page lately.
But these reckless parasocial attachments some of these idols inadvertently foster is to me as problematic and perhaps even more so than an Idol broadcasting a live naked or calling his stans his girlfriends.
Like I said, there are certain uncomfortable conversations these solos aren't prepared to have about their faves. It's easier to point a hand at someone you don't like and say this shit you do is questionable. What's most challenging is looking inside and putting yourself or someone you love on the same scale.
And of course some of us are more comfortable with doing that because we like to turn everything into an intellectual discourse but for the annoying immature stans you can't reason with them beyond their feelings.
I hear you Anon. But today is not the day I defend any solo.
I can stan Jimin all on my own with Jungkook behind me🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
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marronbunnie · 1 year
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happy birthday idia!!! 💀💐🧹
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personasintro · 5 months
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Mutual Help | #58
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day. 
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin. 
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done. 
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message. 
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought. 
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes. 
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good. 
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously. 
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue. 
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now. 
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys. 
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it. 
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best. 
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten. 
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself. 
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle. 
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.” 
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat. 
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically. 
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious. 
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you. 
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening. 
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.” 
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.” 
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you. 
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder. 
“Kook?” 
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine. 
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin. 
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Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now  – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him. 
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend. 
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before. 
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before. 
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it. 
But you don't. 
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name. 
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!” 
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend. 
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall. 
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up. 
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor. 
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here. 
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother  – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you. 
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her. 
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend. 
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching? 
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are. 
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you. 
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room. 
There he is. 
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight. 
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately. 
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans. 
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself. 
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm. 
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness. 
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart. 
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her. 
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend. 
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away. 
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot. 
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.” 
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–” 
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl. 
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other. 
“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him. 
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend. 
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast. 
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains. 
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout. 
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little. 
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile. 
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping. 
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?” 
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend. 
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him. 
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement. 
“This fucking sucks.” 
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away. 
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone. 
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key. 
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again. 
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin. 
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine. 
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym. 
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you. 
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook. 
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone. 
“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds. 
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.” 
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips. 
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.” 
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this. 
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation. 
Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy. 
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met. 
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“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk. 
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home. 
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it. 
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably. 
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right? 
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead. 
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship. 
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid. 
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that. 
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now. 
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite. 
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement. 
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you. 
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. 
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another. 
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow. 
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
“Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
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“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes. 
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin. 
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious. 
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead. 
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day. 
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?” 
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it. 
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious. 
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car. 
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said. 
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride. 
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
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Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport. 
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest. 
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too. 
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs. 
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue. 
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder. 
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions. 
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“Oh my god.” 
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi. 
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly. 
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head. 
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.” 
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you. 
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
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You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people. 
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you. 
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside. 
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh. 
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down. 
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough. 
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it. 
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea. 
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night. 
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is. 
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort. 
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!” 
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun. 
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face. 
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze. 
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck. 
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom. 
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart. 
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
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Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging. 
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you. 
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation. 
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later. 
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of. 
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here. 
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already. 
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up. 
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up. 
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself. 
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this. 
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii. 
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow. 
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily. 
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe. 
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while. 
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things. 
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy. 
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him. 
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks. 
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it. 
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you. 
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way. 
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though. 
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style. 
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible. 
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back. 
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow. 
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement. 
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, ���But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!” 
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea. 
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face. 
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook. 
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you. 
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you. 
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore. 
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.” 
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth. 
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be. 
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake. 
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Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline. 
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that. 
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you. 
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not. 
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before. 
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently. 
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well. 
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else. 
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns. 
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down. 
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through. 
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you. 
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.” 
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him. 
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul. 
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make. 
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It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever. 
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it. 
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second. 
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone. 
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life. 
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you. 
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else. 
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second. 
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping. 
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact. 
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes. 
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling. 
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side. 
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy. 
“What are we doing first today?” 
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.” 
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom. 
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you. 
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice. 
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?” 
“You should know that by now.” 
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather. 
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow. 
Is this his way of keeping his distance? 
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it. 
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though. 
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here? 
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower. 
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare. 
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts. 
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“Kook, are you really sure?” 
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening. 
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well. 
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical. 
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it. 
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement. 
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch. 
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side. 
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook. 
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured. 
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask. 
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out. 
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you. 
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too. 
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time. 
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again. 
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it. 
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you. 
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn. 
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly. 
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack. 
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
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“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off. 
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades. 
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle. 
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of. 
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it. 
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger. 
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then. 
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need. 
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
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It's the next and second day of you officially being here. 
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay. 
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all. 
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there. 
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade. 
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time. 
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home. 
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now. 
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them. 
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that. 
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then. 
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered. 
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal. 
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
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At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game. 
Interesting to watch, you may say. 
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are. 
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished. 
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model. 
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you. 
“Hey–” 
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline. 
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake. 
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin. 
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks. 
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone. 
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.” 
Just like Jungkook right now. 
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you. 
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others. 
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him. 
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets. 
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest. 
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks. 
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on. 
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest. 
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent. 
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away. 
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
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a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!! 
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before. 
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things. 
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
goal: 2k notes 🌙
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
8K notes · View notes
catherinnn · 29 days
Text
Fears and Futures
summary: After hearing Steve's comments about a friend's unexpected pregnancy, you become fearful of your own uncertain future and start questioning the meaning and depth of your relationship with Eddie.
warnings: language, unexpected pregnancy (not reader), not actual smut talks about sex, talks about unprotected sex, a little angst but fluff overall, hurt/comfort.
words: 1.1k
a/n: a little something just cause I felt like writing and I wanted a little drama. not proofread cause I was tired :)
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He opens his door for you and you start feeling nervous. After he lets you in, you see he’s trying to greet you with a kiss, one which you stop before his lips touch yours.
He takes a step back and you see his face, filled with worry and fear.
“Eds, I came here to talk” you explain.
And now his face falls, he realized what you meant.
--
You’re currently at Steve’s house, hanging out with him Robin and Eddie.
“Hey, do you remember Rebeca Evans?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, she was a senior with Eddie and me” you answer.
“The first time I was a senior” Eddie jokes.
You and Eddie had been friends since high school —it’s safe to say you’re best friends actually—, it took Eddie a couple more tries to finish high school but he finally did it. ’86 baby! Now you’re studying and he started working as a mechanic.
A year ago you started some kind of… arrangement between you two, a friends with benefits kind of arrangement. It all started on a drunken night at a party and then you kept it going not only on drunken nights, but on your sober nights, or at any time for that matter.
“She’s pregnant” Steve announced, and then he complains when you say he’s the most gossipy of the group.
“What? Really?”
“Yeah, she went on a few dates with this guy but they didn’t really hit it off, but they kept hooking up a few times either way, and then it just happened”
“It didn’t just happened, Steve. Were they being safe?” Robin corrects him.
“She said they were, but the condom must have broken or something. Apparently they don’t provide 100% safety” he explained.
“God, she’s my age… and wasn’t she studying as well? She wasn’t working yet” you ask him.
“Yep, she was still studying. Imagine if it happened to you now, it would change your whole life” Steve comments.
“Yeah…” you start thinking how it would affect you, how much of an impact it would make on your life.
And suddenly you can’t stop thinking about it, fearing it. You’re not ready to have kids! But neither was Rebeca and then one day she woke up and she was.
The only person you’re having relationships with is Eddie, and similarly like Rebeca, you’re not in a relationship with him.
You don’t even really know if you want kids or not, but if you’d have them you’d imagine it at least be with someone you’re in love with.
Actually, let me paraphrase that.
At least it would be with someone you’re in a serious relationship with.
Because you do really like Eddie, but you know he doesn’t feel that way. So this arrangement was fine because of that, you know nothing more would ever happen so you’re not expecting it from him.
So for a few days you have been… you wouldn’t say ignoring him, but re-thinking some aspects of this arrangement… without answering his calls.
“Hey, Robs?” you pick up the phone.
“Fucking finally. Oh so you do pick up the phone to Robin?” You hear Eddie’s voice.
“Fuck- no, I was just waiting for her call. But I was gonna call you later” you lie- well, a few days can also mean ‘later.’
“Whatever, do you wanna come over?” he asks and you realize you are going to have to do this eventually.
“Yeah, sure”
When he opens his door for you, you start feeling nervous. After he lets you in you see he’s trying to greet you with a kiss, one which you stop before his lips touch yours.
He takes a step back and you see his face, filled with worry and fear.
“Eds, I came here to talk” you explain.
And now his face falls, he realized what you meant.
“Okay” he says either way.
“I’ve been- thinking a lot about this… Rebeca’s situation-“
“Oh, come on” he interrupts, “when Steve said it was similar to you it didn’t mean it was going to happen to you as well”
“But it could! Eddie, I’m also studying to become somebody, I’m also not working and with no intention on starting to soon, I’m also just twenty years old with no idea of what I want for my future, but I sure as hell don’t want a baby now. And it’s not like we’re being very careful, Eddie. For God’s sake, they were using a condom and it broke or just didn’t work, we’re not even doing that!” you explain.
“Okay, we can just be more careful, but we don’t have to stop all of this”
“That’s the other thing… she was also just hooking up with someone and now they’re bounded forever. She didn’t even like him that much and now she has a fucking kid with him!” you tell him and Eddie stays silent for a while, thinking of what you said.
“…Do you also feel that way?” he asks nervously.
“What?” you ask confused of what he means.
“Do you also… don’t even know if you like him?” he asks with a straight face this time, waiting for your answer.
“That’s not what I said”
“Okay, I’m asking you now” he kept insisting.
“Do you even feel that way?” you kept dodging his question. You weren’t going to admit to him that you liked him just for him to reject you.
He sighed, tired of this. “I fucking like you- I’m actually fucking crazy about you if I’m being honest. That’s why I’m trying to not break this whole thing up because it’s the only way I’m able to have you, even if it’s just sex and it shouldn’t mean anything”
“Are you- being serious?” you ask sceptical.
“Yes” he admits one more time.
It’s your time to sigh in frustration now, head back and everything. But because you can’t believe how stupid the two of you could be.
You run to him without saying a word and you see the confusion on his face, but you quickly grab it and pull him closer to finally give him that kiss. Only it’s with a passion and love that the first one wouldn’t have had, or maybe it would be hidden.
He kisses you back grabbing you by your waits and pulling you even closer.  
Pulling apart slightly, you look into Eddie's eyes where you find warmth, relief, and an unmistakable spark of love.
"I guess we've been idiots, huh?" you say, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, we have" Eddie replies with a small laugh, his eyes still locked onto yours.
“I’ll start taking the pill from now on” you can finally decide since now it’s no longer meaningless.
He smiles, leaning in to give you another lingering kiss, “Yeah, that’d be great”, he whispers against your lips.
258 notes · View notes
judebelle · 5 months
Note
been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)
sneaky - j.f. x reader
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a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..
pairing : joao felix x fem!reader
word count : 2.3k
summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.
cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry
---
you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.
the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.
hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.
you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.
very close to a certain mr felix.
the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.
it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).
from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.
joaofelix79 : u got home safe?
ynsusername : ofc i did
ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me
joaofelix79 : that's good.
you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.
you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.
eventually, you two started hanging out alone.
not anything crazy, of course.
joaofelix79 : hey
joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place
joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat
how could you refuse that?
it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.
"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.
"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.
"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.
from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.
eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.
12:03 am - joao : wyd
12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol
12:04 am - joao : dont bother
12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place
12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats
of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.
and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.
"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.
"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.
"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.
you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.
that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.
his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.
you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.
you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.
but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.
---
"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"
the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.
across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.
one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-
"isn't that right, y/n?"
alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.
"hmm? sorry?"
"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.
"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.
you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.
"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.
the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.
he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.
joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.
it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.
you sent him a quick wink.
he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.
you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.
---
you couldn't take it anymore.
something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.
it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.
finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".
shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.
he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.
"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".
you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.
"nice dress.."
"just take it off."
---
you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.
joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.
it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.
your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.
"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.
you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.
you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.
he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.
"joao, we dont have time for this-"
"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.
"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"
he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.
"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)
you nodded and bit your lip.
he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.
"are you ready for me?" he teased.
"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.
joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"move for me, bebé."
you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.
he shuddered at the feeling.
you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.
"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.
after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.
he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.
your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.
"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.
"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.
his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.
joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.
you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.
"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"
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Text
No Regrets Noah Sebastian x Reader
Prompt: "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."
VIP: Noah Sebastian
Band: Ban Omens
Summary: There's no such thing as a "calm" Halloween night, especially when hidden feelings are involved.
Warnings: It's gonna be a little spicy, but not full-on smut. Still, this is 18+ due to descriptive language and some curse words scattered about, so minors, please DNI. 
A/N
Hello everybody! I'm sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth. I have an abundance of things going on in my personal life and I am trying my hardest to get through it all. I know in the last post I said chapter 3 of It's Been A Long, Long Time was coming soon. That wasn't a lie. It is still in the process of being edited. I'm working on a new uploading schedule for you guys, and a page redesign as well so if everything pans out the way I'm hoping, it will be put into effect starting next week. In the meantime, I have a couple of stories I'm planning on getting out before Chapter 3 gets released. This turned out a lot longer than I thought it was going to be, but I had an idea and ran with it. I've never written for Bad Omens before, so let me know what you think. Enjoy!
This is a fictional story about real-life people. Nothing that is mentioned in the story below represents who said individuals are, or how they act in real life.
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Halloween night was always your favorite time to be around certain people, specifically the friends you called Motionless in White and Bad Omens. There was always something up their sleeve to turn the normal night into one that you weren't sure you wanted to remember in the morning. Luckily, tonight was the annual hangout at Chris' house this year, and you couldn't be more excited. Every year you all would get together at someone's house and pass out candy to the kids, then watch a couple of movies after the last stragglers came through. After that, came your favorite part of the night, Hide and Seek. It might seem childish, but watching a bunch of tipsy/drunk people try to stay quiet in a hiding spot was always hilarious.
 You were making another batch of popcorn when Chris walked into the kitchen. "Hey, we just put on The Lost Boys, just thought I'd let you know." You smile. "I'm not surprised. That's almost everybody's favorite." He laughs and grabs another bowl from the cabinet. "I know, that's why we put it on first, so nobody can complain about it later." The timer on the microwave went off signaling that the popcorn was finished, and you carefully took the bag out. You gave Chris the cooling-down bag and picked back up the one you set on the counter before he walked in. After emptying them and grabbing extra napkins, Chris brought the popcorn out to your friends who were talking through muffled and hushed whispers. Before you walked back into the room, he pulled you back for a second to whisper something in your ear. "I pulled the seeker for tonight. Unfortunately, it wasn't you. Maybe next year." You pout and then smile "Fuck, I'm never going to get picked." He laughs as you glanced around at everybody scattered in the room. 
Ryan sat with Justin on the loveseat. Folio was a drama queen and insisted he get his own seat. Nicholas, Vinny, and a few other of your friends, Florence, Nicole, Victoria, and Robert who were invited sat around the coffee table on the floor. Ricky, Jolly, and Noah were on the couch. Then, you and Chris got the two giant bean bags in the corner. The lights were changed to red and the TV just started the opening credits to The Lost Boys. You and Chris give the popcorn to Ricky and Nicholas respectively, everybody else having their own mostly full bowls, and grab your drinks before plopping back down on the bean bags. Folio rubs his hands together and smiles. "Now that our final two goofballs are here, who's ready to watch one of the best horror movies ever made?" Everybody gives some form of yes or a holler, and he immediately turns the volume up. As the movie plays, there is a small conversation here and there, and occasionally someone has to get up for a new drink, but you are relaxed and having fun. 
At about the halfway point of the movie, Noah gets up to get another drink from the fridge. On his way back, Jolly scares him, causing his wine to spill all over the floor and your sweatpants. "Jesus man!" The movie is paused and everyone's attention is on you guys. Jolly laughs and puts his hands up in defense. "Sorry dude, I had to scare you at least once today." He turns to look at you. "Didn't mean to ruin your sweatpants though, my bad." You wave him off. "It's no big deal, these were old anyway. You guys can keep the movie playing. I'm just gonna change into different pants real quick." You take a sip of your drink and get up from your spot to go upstairs. 
After finding your weekend bag, you huff as the extra sweatpants are nowhere to be found. Instead, you pull out a pair of spandex volleyball shorts and go to the bathroom. Noah hears the sink running upstairs as he's cleaning up the accidental mess he made by your spot. He throws the paper towels away and before he gets to the stairs, Chris quietly asks "You good?" He nods, telling the other singer he's going to make sure you're okay, and heads to your bathroom. He knocks a few times and after a couple of seconds, the sink cuts off and you open the door. You were expecting one of your girlfriends to be standing there, but instead, it's Noah. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm sorry about spilling on your sweats. I hope I didn't ruin them." Holding up the pants, you show him where the stain had previously been. "If these sweats can make it through one of your tours, they can certainly handle a little bit of wine. I just didn't want them to stain, since you drink the darker stuff." He chuckles and follows you back into the bedroom. 
You grab your shorts and get ready to put them on, but Noah points to your leg. "I didn't know you had a thigh tattoo." You glance at it and glance at him confused. "Really? I got it a while ago. I could've sworn I showed you when I got it done. Then again, I'm always in longer shorts, so it's not exactly easy to see." Setting them down, you turn to the side and pull part of your underwear band up, showing the last covered part of the tattoo. Looking up at Noah, you can see he's staring, but there's something else behind his eyes. Just not sure what it is though. You don't flinch when he reaches his hand out, but your skin gets goosebumps as his fingers ever so lightly trace over the ink on your leg. Everybody that came over tonight had seen each other in their undergarments or even completely nude before, whether by accident or on purpose. Hell, you've walked in on him changing plenty of times. 
So why did the room suddenly feel hot? 
It could be that you've had a crush on the man since you were kids. There wasn't anything not to like. His personality just made you want to be around him all the time. He's sweet and kind, and has a terrible sense of humor that only you two get. You could go on and on. He was just an all-around amazing person. You were so caught up in your thoughts, that you missed the hand that was snapping in front of your face. "Hello? Are you there?" Coming back to reality, you saw Noah looking down at you with curiosity. You quickly apologized and asked him to repeat what he said. "I said it looks amazing on you. The placement is perfect and it works great with the curves of your leg." You thank him and can't help but notice just how close he's standing to you. There's a tense silence for a couple of moments, and neither of you moves from your spot. You glanced at his eyes, then his lips, but immediately looked away. 
It felt like you were a school girl again, talking to the guy you've had a crush on for ages. You heard him mumble a "Fuck it" before he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. They were soft and tasted like wine, courtesy of the drink that led you here in the first place. You felt his hand move to rest against your cheek. His lips were gentle, almost as if he was savoring the moment, afraid it would never happen again. When the two of you finally pulled away for air, your eyes remained closed for a moment, before slowly opening them and meeting Noah's. The two of you looked at each other in pure awe before you let out a small "Woah" He laughed, and you looked down, feeling your cheeks become hot.
The thought of you being so flustered made him blush too. How was it possible for someone to be this cute? Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you almost couldn't comprehend what just happened. "You know, for someone that always complained he was a terrible kisser, that was uh, really impressive." He could feel you now completely relaxed against him and he laughed a little, slightly embarrassed. "I'd say that I've had practice, but you already know my teddy bear in fifth grade doesn't count." The two of you laugh. Remembering his hand resting on your cheek, you look away and take a small step back. "I think we should get back to the movie. It's gotta be almost over by now, and I don't want them to yell at us for taking too long." He let out an uncomfortable laugh and muttered a "Yeah." 
You never noticed but Noah frowned slightly when you pulled away from him. He felt so comfortable being that close to you. As you turned to the door he realized something. He really liked you and didn't want this to be just a one-time thing, especially if it was going to make things weird between you afterward. He picks himself out of his thoughts just as you open the door. He walks across the room, taking your hand and silently closing the door. Standing there surprised, you ask him, "Are you okay?" It was now or never he told himself. "I'm sorry, I just..." He takes a breath before continuing. "I really want to kiss you again." You stand there just as surprised but decide to see just how far this could possibly go. "What's the problem then?" He lets go of your hand and brings his own up to hold your face. Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers. 
"The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop." 
He obviously likes you, right? But this is your best friend. You've known each other for years. If he did like you this much, he would've told you by now, right? You two have been affectionate towards each other before, but there's a line neither of you dared to cross. If you crossed it now, you would rather do it with no regrets. It was better than wondering what could have been. "What if I don't want you to stop?" Noah tilts your head so you're looking him in the eyes. 
"Then I won't." 
He pushes his lips against you again, this time with newfound hunger. His hands fall and grab at your waist while yours go around his neck. Your feet follow his backward and you hit the edge of the bed. He pulls you down to sit on his lap, completely forgetting your lack of pants while he pushes himself further back on the bed. His tongue runs across your bottom lip and you open your mouth allowing him in. Your hands gently tug at the now-cut-short hair on the back of his neck and he grabs at your hip hard enough to leave bruises before pulling you even closer to him. Shifting your weight a little, your lower half sits directly on his hardening cock and he groans into your mouth. He pulls his lips away only for them to move down your neck. You tug at his hair a little harder and he sucks at the tender skin that connects your neck and shoulder. A moan leaves your lips and you mindlessly grind down against him. There was nothing that could prepare you for how right this felt. Like you were seeing a whole different side of him, hidden from the outside world, and for your eyes only.
Noah moved to whisper in your ear. "Quiet baby, wouldn't want everybody to hear us, hmm?" You shake your head no, but it doesn't matter as he kisses you again. "Hey, are you guys-OH MY GOD!" The bedroom door opens to see a shocked Chris looking at the two of you. Noah pulls away from your mouth, and the two of you look like deer in headlights. "I'm going to go... quickly." Chris walks away, before coming back and closing the door. You and Noah make eye contact for a split second, before the two of you look away, slightly embarrassed that you were caught. "Maybe we should go back before someone comes in again." He clears his throat and nods. "Yeah, that's a good idea." Carefully getting off of him, you stand up and let him off the bed. You both straighten out your respective clothes, and you finally put on those shorts. 
"Are you alright?" He nods and you get ready to walk toward the door. Noah runs his fingers through his hair. "Um, Before we go, I just wanted to ask...You don't regret any of what just happened, right?" You immediately shake your head no, slightly frowning. Maybe this was all a big mistake. "Not at all. Why? Do you?" He smiles and also shakes his head no before taking your hand in his. "Nope. No regrets." A smile replaces the frown on your face. You ask "Are you ready for them to never let us live this down?" He laughs and glances at the door. "That doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me." Giving him a nod, he opens the door and the two of you walk back into the living room where the rest of your friend group is talking amongst themselves. When they hear you guys walk in, it gets silent. Noah lets go of your hand so you can sit down first, and then goes to his spot on the couch. 
Nobody said anything for the first couple of moments before Chris broke the silence. "You guys fucked in my spare bedroom..." Instantly you and Noah sat up and shook your heads. Your voice and his overlapped and both of you tried to tell your friends that technically nothing happened. Once the two of you were finished explaining, the room was silent for another couple of moments before anyone spoke. The silence was starting to make you uncomfortable, but before you could say or do anything, Ryan threw his hands up and yelled. "Fucking finally!" This breaks the tension in the room and everybody starts laughing and giving you and Noah happy looks. You even saw a couple of people passing money around. Those fuckers bet on you and Noah getting together. When the commotion has died down, another movie has started, and everybody turns their attention to the TV. As you focus your attention on the screen, your phone buzzes, and you pick it up. 
Noah
"I was thinking later we could finish what we started in the spare bedroom?"
You smile at your phone and quickly respond before setting it down.
"Well, we're still playing Hide and Seek after the movie. I'm once again not the seeker, lol. If it happens to be you, don't go easy on me. Depending on how the rest of the night plays out, you might get your wish ;)"
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Noah readjust himself in his seat. He sends back a text almost instantly, and goosebumps litter your skin again as you read his last text.
Noah
"Oh, I won't. I like the hunt."
Nope, no regrets.
174 notes · View notes
writesleah · 7 months
Text
not a chance ✰ m. riddle
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➻ pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader
➻ genre: angst/fluff
➻ summary: you and mattheo are sworn enemies, but everything changes when he becomes your tutor
➻ warnings: swearing (not loads, but a good few times), my writing lmao, one sex reference, 14 year old hormones :) - that’s all i can really think of, so if you find any more, let me know so i can fix the list!
➻ word count: 1.9k
➻ a/n: this is way longer than i was planning on making it but once i started writing, the words just flowed. this hasn’t been proofread either so i apologise if theres any mistakes that slipped through. i’m also fairly new to writing mattheo, but i’m so obsessed with him right now that i just had to do it for my first published fic!
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enemies should never spend time together - that’s just a fact - and mattheo riddle was your worst enemy. you had never met someone more infuriating in your life, someone so incredibly cocky that it made you want to pitch yourself off the astronomy tower. he did all of that for you, and more.
you were in your potions class, watching the hands on the clock tick by every second, every minute, waiting to finally be released from the hell professor snape held you in for a full hour every tuesday and friday.
potions was never really your strong suit, so you knew doing your O.W.L for the class wasn’t going to go so well, but your friends convinced you to go. of course they did.
your eyes darted to the door as you heard it swing open, a boy with curly, brunette hair stalking in.
“you’re late, mr riddle.” snape glared at mattheo, his voice it’s usual stern tone. “forty-five minutes late.”
“sorry, professor. i was helping professor moody with something for defence against the dark arts.” he sneered back, emphasising the fact that mad-eye moody was teaching the class and not snape, who gave him a sharp look before continuing on with his class.
“surprised to see you here.” the familiar voice scoffed as he took a seat on the table next to yours, where all of his friends were conveniently sitting. how pleasant.
“riddle.” you murmured, eyeing him as he took his seat and pulled out his quill.
“awh, greeting me?” he smirked, his head tilting just slightly in a way that was so incredibly frustrating. “did you miss me over the summer?”
you scoffed at the idea, rolling your eyes. “miss you? not so much.”
“ouch. that one hurt, not gonna lie to you.” he laughed to himself, scribbling down the date on the top of his parchment.
“cute.” you spat. you never really bothered to give him full replies, not in the way that he did, unless you felt it was absolutely necessary. “why’d you even turn up? the lesson ends in fifteen minutes.”
“i was going to just skip, but then i remembered my favourite person would be here.” he smiled warmly, though it was laced with that familiar sarcasm you knew all too well.
you give him a small glare, quirking a brow at him. “yeah? who’s that? me?”
“is that a joke?” he scoffed, his expression turning serious as he glared at her. “no, daphne.” he motioned to the girl on his right. you had noticed they had grown closer over the last few weeks of third year, but never really thought much of it. he wasn’t really the type to get into serious relationships, more just little flings or girls he would snog and then never speak to again.
you felt a pang of emotion in your heart, but you weren’t sure why, or what it was. a smirk slowly made its way onto his face as he watched your nose screw up, his brows raising in amusement. “why? you wish it was you?” he laughed again, sarcastically, as always.
“course. whatever will i do now that i know i’m not mattheo riddle’s favourite person?” you scoffed, shaking off the feeling and giving him the glare you always did. why did you care? you didn’t, right?
he gave you a small chuckle in return, before the conversation quickly ended, along with the lesson not so long after.
“miss (y/l/n), mr riddle, please stay seated when everyone else leaves.” snape demanded, causing you to roll your eyes and let out a quiet groan.
when everyone else had left, the professor stalked towards the two of you, eying you both up cautiously before he spoke.
“as you both know, you begin to prepare for your O.W.Ls in fourth year, this year.” he began, the mention of the tests making you want to curl up in a corner and never think again. “given miss (y/l/n)’s frank inability to brew a single potion over the last few years, she will need a tutor to give her any chance of passing the test.”
you screwed your nose up at the slight dig, but continued listening to him nonetheless. “now, mr riddle has proven himself to be quite talented in my class, so he will be your tutor. i trust that i can leave you two here for the hour to begin your first session?”
you groaned loudly, watching a smirk spread on mattheo’s stupid face, but nodded in defeat. “yes, professor.” you mumbled, your head in your hands.
snape swiftly left the room, leaving the two of you alone.
“you reckon we can just lie and say we did the hour?” you murmured, your eyes peeking through your fingers to look at the brunette.
he scoffed quietly. “kind as ever.” he retorted, shaking his head. “you might as well do it. we all know you’re hopeless when it comes to potions, so it might do you some good.”
“myeh, kind as ever.” you mimicked, rolling your eyes. “fine. hurry it up, though.”
he moved to sit next to you, beginning to ask you questions to gauge where you were at with your knowledge in potions. of course, you managed to get every question wrong, or do something that put him off.
“you don’t know anything?” he groaned, his eyes narrowing in frustration. “you’re so fucking stupid, merlin. i’ve never met a fourteen year old girl as dumb as you.”
you furrowed your brows, a small pout on your face. “i’m not stupid. it’s the subject. it doesn’t make any sense.”
“i’m going through first year stuff right now. you’re ridiculous if you think you’re going to pass your O.W.L.” he scoffed, waving his hands around frantically as you laid your head on the table, your tongue between your teeth as you held back a snarky comment.
“whatever.” you groaned. “i give up. i’m expecting myself to fail at this point. i know i will. there is no point in us doing this.”
“i mean… you’re probably right, but you should at least try.” he shrugged slightly, his tone still full of annoyance. you watched his fingers brush through his dark curls, your head tilting just slightly as he did so. his brows furrowed as he looked at you, muttering a small “what?”
“why are you so insistent that i stay with you right now?” you blurted, voicing your thoughts before you could take it back.
he didn’t say anything, glancing away for a moment before looking back at you, his eyes tracing your body just long enough for you to notice. you squirmed slightly at the sudden tension between you, shooting him a dirty look.
“stop looking at me like that. it’s weird.” you spat, attempting to shake off his gaze, if that was even possible.
“like what?” his eyes shot back up to yours, his nose scrunching slightly, his smile frown lines more visible than ever.
“like i’m one of the girls you try to snog up in the astronomy tower. stop it.” you had witnessed and interrupted his shameless make out sessions far too many times, the tower being a place you both frequented, though for reasons of the complete opposite. you went there to be alone, he went there to have company.
his hand shifted to your thigh, landing on top of your pleated school skirt the uniform required you to wear, a smirk on his face. “do you want to be?”
your gaze was fixed on his hand, squirming slightly at the sudden contact, though not making any effort to stop it. “uh, no. not really. what the fuck?” you let out a half-laugh as you looked back up at him, seeing his brows furrow slightly. “what? was that not the right answer? want me to get on my knees and beg for you to make out with me under the stars?”
he scoffed to himself, rolling his eyes. “yeah, you’d definitely do that.” he retorted sarcastically, giving you a small glare.
“you have the wrong idea of me.” you shook your head, biting your lower lip just slightly as you felt his thumb move to the hem of your skirt. “what are you doing?”
“showing you how much i want you.” his voice took on a low and serious tone, before crashing his lips into yours. you didn’t move for a moment, before quickly coming to your senses and shoving him off.
“are you high or something?” you looked him up and down, rubbing your lips together in an attempt to make the strange sensation they held go away.
“no. completely sober. i don’t smoke weed.” he laughed quietly, looking at you in amusement. you gave him a small huff, knowing that he wasn’t exactly telling the truth. “was that your first kiss?”
your lips parted in amusement, the tip of your tongue held just between your front teeth. “what?”
“was that your first kiss?” he repeated, his eyes tracing every inch of your face. “because, no offence, but if it wasn’t, you’re a pretty shit kisser. i doubt you have experience.”
you scoffed at his words, shaking your head with a small pout. “no, it wasn’t my first kiss. it was just ‘shit’, as you so elegantly put it, because i didn’t fucking kiss you back, idiot.” you felt the overwhelming urge to spit as many swear words and insults you could muster at him, but held back when you saw the look in his eyes.
“wanna actually kiss me, then?” he huffed, rolling his eyes, before they settled on the pillowy, pink flesh of your lips.
you hesitated for a moment, before leaning in to give him a small kiss. his lips were soft, and the slow motions gave you a better feel of him than the first kiss. it felt safer, more intimate.
the second you went to pull away, he pulled you in closer, the kiss growing slightly more aggressive. you felt the edge of his fingertips slide just slightly under your skirt, going no further than the edge of the hem. the movement was enough for you to pull away, though.
“riddle…” you whispered, your eyes shooting down to his hand. “look, i don’t know what you get up to with half your little girlfriends, but i don’t wanna, like, do anything, so…” you shrugged slightly.
he looked at you with a furrowed brow for a moment, before letting out a small chuckle, which just confused you further. “oh, wait, no.” he shook his head, which tilted as a sly smirk came across his face. he removed his hand from your thigh and let out another short laugh. “i wasn’t trying to- sorry. yeah, no, i’m in the same boat as you. i may get with a lot of girls, but i’m still fourteen at the end of the day. i’m not really doing anything other than make-outs yet.”
you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding at his words, a small smile settling on your face. “okay, good. i was panicking a bit there.” you added with a single laugh.
it was silent for a while as you both relished in each other’s company, or rather, didn’t know what else to say.
“so…” you spoke up after a couple minutes, your eyes darting back to his, “do we still hate each other?”
he raised his brows in amusement, a small, almost disgusted scoff coming from his mouth.
“not a chance.”
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annawritesblog · 8 months
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Eyes off you (c.l.)
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Summary: Y/n and Charles have been together for 2 years and Charles has a special surprise for her.
A/N: I wrote this a long time ago so if there’s any mistakes in it, feel free to tell me:) Also, English is not my first nor my second language so excuse my spelling and/or grammar errors. I recommend listening to the attached song as it plays in the background later in the story. Enjoy🤍
Charles' P.O.V.
Are you still at home? Came the message from Arthur.
Yes, we're leaving in 15 minutes, come in about 30. I wrote back.
I put my phone in the right pocket of my suit pants, the left being full with the red velvet box. I took a final look in the mirror and after a few quick breaths, Y/n appeared from the bathroom.
"I'm ready." She says and puts a lipgloss in her purse. Her purple dress showing her curves just right, like a princess.
"My God. You look absolutely stunning, chérie." I say and wrap my arms around her waist leaving little kisses in the crook of her neck.
"You don't look bad yourself." Smiles the girl I've been in love with for almost 2 years. "Stop." She warms as I still kiss her neck slowly moving down to her collarbone.
"Can't we just stay home?" I ask, but I realize that that would be the worst idea ever, considering that in less than 30 minutes my brothers will be here. "I mean, no. We should really go, hurry even."
She turns around and furrows her brows. "Everything okay?"
"Everything's wonderful, love." I grab her small hand and guide her out of the penthouse. After locking the door, we take the elevator to the underground parking house. Opening the door for her, she sits in the black Ferrari.
The ride is less than 15 minutes, but it feels so much more than that. She talks about how happy she is that we're going to this birthday party, but I can barely process anything she's saying. "Oh, I left my phone at home."
"Are you serious?" I ask and she nods worriedly. "I can't turn around."
"Why?"
"We're already late, Carlos will kill me if we make it there after Isa." I try to lie, hoping she doesn’t suspect anything.
"Okay, you're gonna have to take pictures then." She lets go easily.
A few minutes later we arrive at the beautiful venue in Monte Carlo. We walk inside, hand in hand and see that almost everybody is there.
"You were right. We really are late." She says and we giggle a little, just the two of us, our little private space.
"Sorry, mate. We're here." I half-hug Carlos, who just shrugs it off saying it's fine.
"Okay, okay. She's coming." Carlos tells us and when his missis arrives we all scream happy birthday to her.
Y/n and I spend a little time talking to Isa, but I excuse myself to another table where some strangers sit. I open the last texts from Arthur, saying that they have arrived about 10 minutes ago. I quickly text some informations, although I explained everything to them yesterday, but I want everything to be perfect, she deserves nothing less.
"Boo." Y/n says behind me, which does scare me. How long has she been staying there? Hopefully not long at all. "What are you doing?"
"Answering some texts from the team." I say and she gives me a dissapointed look. "I know and I am sorry, chérie. That was the first and last, I promise." I put my phone in my pocket and I kiss her hand sweetly. We walk to Carlos' table where he gives me a reassuring look.
"Y/n, come, you have to look at this." Isa grabs her arm and drags her away.
"How are you feeling, man?" The spaniard infront of me asks.
"Nervous."
"You don't have to be, she'll say yes." Carlos comes closer to me.
"What if she won't? Maybe she's not ready yet. We have been together for almost 2 years, that's soon, isn't it?" I go in full panick mode.
"What? It's not too soon, if you're ready, than nothing's too soon." He pats my shoulder. "They're coming." I look behind me and I see Y/n and Isa walking towards our table.
"Look what we found. Chocolate covered fruits, this is the best day of my life." Isa says with a full mouth and my missis just laughs next to her. I wrap my arm around her waist, securing her close to me.
About 2 hour later, after I got a text from my brothers saying they're done with everything, we decided to go home.
"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom." I whisper in Y/n's ear, letting her go from my embrace.
"Okay, I'll be here." I give her a peck on her cheek and walk towards the restrooms.
Kicking the door open with my feet, I rest my hands on the sink trying to catch my breath. I promised my brothers that I would call them before we start heading home. After 2 rings Lorenzo picks it up. "Hey, what's up?"
"We're just leaving. Everything ready?"
"Yes, everything's disgustingly perfect." My little brother yells and drops something.
"What was that?" I ask immediately.
"My phone, fuck."
Lorenzo sighs and says something to him that I don’t hear. "Are you okay?"
"Not really, shitting my pants right now." I sigh.
"You don't need to be scared. She's gonna say yes, I'm sure." My big brother says.
"One hundred percent. Who wouldn't wanna marry you?" Arthur laughs in the phone.
"Thank you?"
"I was trying to lighten the mood." Arthur says and I let out a little laugh.
"Listen. Do you remember the Australian GP? How nervous you were? For days, you couldn't think straight you were that scared and you ended up winning it. Think about this as a race. You're nervous before it, but the outcome will be perfect." Lorenzo says and I can sense that they're both smiling.
"Thanks, both of you. I owe you both."
"You don't owe us anything, this is what siblings are for." Arthur says and we hang up. I go back to the main room and after a few short goodbyes, we get in the car.
"It was so much fun!" Y/n exclaims and I put my hand on her thigh.
"Yes, it was." I agree.
Se turns her head my way as I start my car. "Where's your mind?" She tries to be cool about it, but I know she's worried.
"In Australia." I answer with a smile.
"Oh, really? What kind of mistresses do you have there?" She smirks and I slow down a bit. We can't be home, before they've left. For once I'll keep the speed limit in mind.
"One, only. I spent like a week there with her. She was wow, like she had a blue lingerie set that she wore after I won. That was something, kept me up all night." I smirk smuggly and my hand travels further up her thigh. She lets out a shaky breath and looks at me.
"Do you remember that?"
"I think I'll remember that forever." We stop at a red light. "Where's that set, anyway?"
"You might see it around this weekend." She looks out the window, clearly blushing.
"Then, I'll have to give my best in this race." My hand travels even more north on her, already feeling her warmth. Althought, this is not going anywhere for a little while.
"You better, mister."
"You already know I will."
"Mrs? I'm not married." She says followed by a few giggles. I messed this up.
We spend the rest of the car ride listening to music and talking about the party. By the time I park the car, I'm sure that my brothers are already home.
I take my keys out and try to put it in the keyhole, but it falls to the floor. I pick it up and place it in again, only for it to slip out of my hand again. "Merde." I curse as I pick it up from the floor.
"Okay, babe. What's wrong?" Y/n asks as I can finally open the goddamn door.
"Nothing is wrong, love. I drank too much coffee." By this time I'm sure she doesn't believe a word I'm saying, but I can't just tell her that I'm nervous she'll say no to marrying me. She'll found out soon anyway, I won't blow it at the last meters.
"We really have to stop drinking so much coffee it's not-" Her words are lost. She looks outside our balcony and slowly back to me. "What is this?" She starts walking towards the table full of her favourites.
I wrap my arms around her waist, while she wraps her hands around my neck. "You deserve it. You've been next to me, when I was at my worst, especially nowadays. Thank you, chérie."
I kiss her passionately and she fumbles with my hair.
"You didn't have to do this, Charles. I will always be there for you." She sits on one of the chairs and looks at the beautiful view of the city. I sit in front of her and start the light music from my phone.
"Oh my God. Macarons." She exclaims and pops one of them in her mouth.
"It's from the bakery you like so much." I say and just watch her face light up. I don't know if it's because of the lights or because I'm obsessed with her, but she's glowing. Just as beautiful as she was when I met her on the streets of Monte Carlo two summers ago. Walking up and down confusedly in her white sundress.
"What is it?" She asks looking deeply into my eyes
"I'm just so in love with you." I take her hand and rest it on top of the table. "That simple."
"You're gonna make me cry."
"Don't cry, baby." I lock our fingers together. "Let's dance instead." I guide her to the end of the balcony where there's space for us to dance. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her as close as I can and rest my forehead on hers. Eyes off you starts playing just in time. Just like I planned it would.
It's our song. It played in the restaurant I took her to on our first date, only knowing each other for 3 days, a few days later when we first kissed and I played it when I asked her to move in with me in Monaco. And now when I propose to her.
"Do you think about the future?" I ask her slowly swaying her to the music.
"I'm only thinking about the future." She giggle then adds: "But yes. Although it's pretty foggy, you are crystal clear." She says sweetly which makes my heart melt. How did I deserve her?
"Same here. You're light as the bright sunshine for me, angel. Always be with you." I lean in closer and whisper in her ear. "This song is gonna play at our wedding."
I can tell she doesn't know where to put this information, but she nods slowly. I step back from her and I can tell that she has realised what's happening. With shaky hands I take the velvet box out of my pocket and get on one knee. She covers her mouth with both of her hands and tears have already filled her eyes. "Chérie. You don't even know what you do to me. For almost two years now, you're the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. I have never even dreamed that I would end up next to someone as perfect as you are." She now covers her whole face with her palms and silent sobs leave her mouth. "Look at me, angel." She looks at me and I can already feel my eyes watering. "No matter what happens, you will always have me, I promise you. I promise to give you everything your heart desires, everything you need. So, my love, will you make me the happiest man ever and marry me?" I open the small box revealing the rare diamond ring.
"Yes, yes. A thousand times yes, Charles." She says and I hug her closely. We only part for the few seconds it takes to put the ring on her finger. Without hesitation, she kisses me and I caress her cheeks with my hands. A few minutes later we pull away and I wipe away tears from her cheeks.
"Don't cry." I say.
"You're crying too. It's allowed." She laughs which makes me too.
"Look at you, already acting like a wife." I pull her close yet again and breath in her scent. My fiancee's scent.
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pickingupmymercedes · 2 months
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Under an Ipê tree - Lewis Hamilton
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The three times your annual visit to Senna’s tomb brought something different
pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Senna! Reader
warnings: mentions of death, mourning, AD 21', Lewis at Ferrari (rubbing salt into every open wound apparently)
wordcount: +1k
a/n: Not gonna lie, started this one with something in mind and it took a life of its own. I know Senna! Reader isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please, proceed with caution, because there is mention to real events and real emotions envolved with mourning. Also, AD 21', I'm sure as hell not over that, so here's another trigger warning.
a/n. 2: Those trees are how pink Ipês look in blossom, I know Brasil is not known for its colder months but those beauties come alive after the few cold weeks.
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Like most traditions it started without any intent on actually becoming a thing. You and Lewis would take a couple hours off on Wednesdays before the Brazilian GP every year, the destination a known one to everyone in the paddock. It was a journey you used to do by yourself until Lewis had been the brave, and first one, to ask you if he could tag along. He’d been to Senna’s tomb before, you knew that much, but the respect and adoration he held for your late father had you deciding he should be good company.
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“I swear I had never seen my mom angrier. Can you imagine her with the speaker at Interlagos shouting to everyone with an ear that I shouldn’t be racing and if anything happened Ayrton was to blame cause I wasn’t even old enough to be there” You told a laughing Lewis while remembering when your father faked an ID so he could sneak you to the track and teach you how to race in your brand new - Mclaren themed – kart. A Christmas gift he went out of his way to get to the famous Brazilian track circuit in time to open day.
“You know, my favorites snippets of his life are the ones you talk about, Sundays at the pool, ice cream dates, kart running without your mom knowing. Whenever someone talks about him it’s always about his wins, his hardships, his cars and battles … it’s almost as if he didn’t exist beyond formula 1, like we froze just a fraction of him and forgot all about the rest.” 
You smiled at him, you liked how Lewis never questioned your feelings towards f1’s out of this world idolatry on your father, mainly because at the end of the day, to your 8 year old past self, Ayrton was first and foremost “pai”, the dude that thought you not to be afraid by throwing you into the ocean when no one was looking, the one that cooked instant noodles for dinner in spite of your mom’s pleads, the one that constantly tried to show you that love is a feeling we should act upon in the present and never wait for a so promised tomorrow.
“He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure. But as a person, he would have probably seen you as one of the good ones, pointing out bullshit, fighting fia every chance you get, protecting the guys back at the garage, focusing on racing and not talking, looking out for everyone.” You answered truthly, as he respectfully held his hands behind his back looking at the tomb stone, while you casually sat in the edge of the stone, almost too comfortable around the place from all the visits you’ve done over the years.
“I think you should meet Galisteu someday, she’ll have way more interesting stories about him to tell you than I do.” You absentmindedly noted, remembering all she’s told you about your father, this other side to him you never got the time to see.
“Nah… we’re our truest around kids, his best version was the one you got to see. Now, what was that time he sneaked a stray dog onto your apartment?” he asked while reaching for your shoulder so you both could walk along the path back to the car awaiting to take you both back.
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“I don’t think I really remember the sound of his voice” you sighed looking up at the Ipê tree just beside the tomb. You had shown Lewis a photo of what it looked like once in full blossom before, in the Brazilian winter, and he promised you he would eventually find the time to come see it in its full glory in late June.
The walk in the cemetery, the light hearted banter, him opening his heart on dreams and the future and the confessions you would eventually make to Lewis about Ayrton were part of the annual occurrence you had both unspokenly agreed on, but that one line seemed to have hit him hard enough he just motioned you to go on, no answers or remarks. 
“I mean, I know what his voice sounds like because there’s a thousand and one interviews with him, but I don’t think I can truly remember what he sounded like in real life … how he talked to me.” You explained it further, now looking at the Briton.
He engulfed you in a hug, the kind only he knew how, your tears leaving marks on his shoulders. You would rarely cry over anything related to your father, at least not in front of people anyway, but Lewis was… well, Lewis. You and Niki were the one who pushed, like hell, to sign him to Mercedes back in 2014 against everyone’s better judgment, and while you knew he would be every bit the driver and phenomenon he was, neither of you anticipated the friendship that came out of seeing him almost every GP you attended. A relationship that had crept its own way into your hearts, slowly allowing to see each other as something more than just good friends.
“He’s proud of you, wherever he is. I know that much” He whispered, leaving a soft kiss to your temple and bringing you even closer to his body.
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“He would’ve crashed into Verstappen back in 2021, wouldn’t he?” He prompted out of nowhere, gazing seriously at the tomb as you observed him pondering over the possible outcomes of a race that, like a ghost, had been following him nonstop, specially with the São Paulo GP fast approaching and with it his chances of securing his 8th title, two races before the end of the season.
“Start another Senna vs. Prost ?! ” You thought out loud, trying to read into his expressions and mannerisms, a talent of his you weren’t quite as good.
“Maybe I should’ve done it”
“You’re not like that Lew. You’re you and no one, not a single person, wants someone else” Your exasperation clear in your voice, hands reaching for his chin as his eyes locked into yours and he nodded, an unspoken agreement between the two of you, one you had to hammer into his head from time to time, that he may have Ayrton as his idol but he was just as much of an icon to the sport, and to a million of kids out there.
“On Sunday you’re going to reach that top step in your red suit, fulfill Ayrton’s dream and claim a championship for Ferrari. You. Not him, nor anyone else” and come the end of the race, he did just that. Smiling down at the sea of people in a mix of old Mercedes merchs and new Ferrari ones, dedicating his trophy to all the other people who believed in the impossible with him. 
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harrywavycurly · 2 months
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At First Sight Part 2: Blushing
Masterlist: Here
CW: Language
Tag List: @ali-r3n @blckburd @comeonatmebruh @sweetmoonlove0214 @heydreamchild @mrsjellymunson @marshmallowgem
A/N: Enjoy Eddie freaking out and Steve and Dustin trying to figure out what’s going on with him. Get comfy though this is a long conversation😂💖
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“You look like shit Munson.” “You just don’t know what love looks like Harrington so fuck off.” “Jesus you’re like…extra testy…did you get her name?” “Yes now where’s Henderson? I need his little shithead ass to figure out what the hell is going on.” “You rang?” “Henderson! Thank god you’re here you have-” “are you blushing?” “What? No?” “Dude you’re totally blushing…isn’t he Steve?” “Uh…well I mean his cheeks are…kinda…pink.” “I ran here from the shop you assholes.” “You ran? Why didn’t you just drive?” “I…don’t know Dustin I just…I saw her name and then next thing I know I’m here and I just…I think I’m going crazy.” “Relax…now just tell me exactly what happened when you saw her.” “Yeah don’t leave anything out.” “That’s what..exactly what happened means Steve…but thanks for the backup.” “Uhm okay well I was standing next to my van and uh…she pulled up in her beetle and got out and I’m not gonna lie I took a look at her uh ya know…backside and then she turned around and looked at me and my world stopped-” “stopped? Like time literally froze or did it move in slow motion?” “Well it kinda went in slow motion and I saw hearts and in my mind it was like….fireworks were going off and then she walked by me and into the shop and that was it.” “That was it?” “What he means is now he’s obsessed and thinks he’s in love.” “Well yeah it sounds like love at first sight.” “What? That’s…a thing?” “Dude how the hell have the two of you lived this long and never heard of love at first sight?” “I mean I’ve heard of it but…I didn’t think it was real.” “It’s real…but normally it happens for both parties…” “so you think she loves me too?” “I honestly don’t…know…wait is this her name?” “Yeah Eddie got it from her paperwork from the shop.” “I know her.” “What the fuck do you mean you know her Henderson?” “Wow calm down…she’s my neighbor…she babysat me a few times.” “Babysat you?…I’m your fucking babysitter you jerk.” “Guys can we focus please? I’m kinda losing my damn mind because I’m in love with Dustin’s fucking neighbor.” “How do you not know her? She graduated with you from Hawkins.” “What? No fucking way I’d know if the love of my actual life went to high school with me.” “Clearly you weren’t paying attention because she went to Hawkins High and graduated the same year you did so…” “Wait if she’s your neighbor that means she’s seen me drop you off at least a few times right? So that means she knows me so if I knock on her door-” “dude you can not just go knocking on some girl’s door that is a huge red fucking flag.” “Steve’s right that’ll freak her out but you’re also right…she knows you because she told me one time that you drive like shit but she said your name.” “She….knows my name?…what did it sound like when she said it? Did it sound like a song that you could listen to over and over again?” “Don’t ever ask me something like that again Eddie you’re my fucking Dungeon Master for crying out loud…get it together.” “I’m sorry I just…I feel like I’m having a panic attack but I’m happy about it? Like finally I have…something or someone to…live for.” “Can you maybe hold off on her being your reason to live until you actually meet her?” “I agree with Henderson….go on a date first or something.” “How can I go on a date when you two won’t let me knock of her door?” “Wait a minute…if she graduated with you Eddie that means she might know Robin!” “Okay and what’s Robin have to do with my future wife?” “Don’t go planning your marriage yet big boy…I’m just saying we can see if Robin knows her and she can reach out to see if she can give you her number…then you-” “can knock on her door?” “No…you can call her and see if she’d be interested in-” “being with me forever?” “You’re fucking hopeless.” “Don’t be mean to me right now Harrington okay? I just…love her.” “We know you do Eddie and we promise we are gonna try to get you and her in a room together so you can…see if she feels the same…right Steve?” “Yeah…we’re gonna help you man…it’ll be fine just let me talk to Robin.” “Okay…” “until then no stalking or-” “declarations of love I got it man…”
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authorhjk1 · 4 months
Note
First of all, Happy New Year!
Second, holy fuck, Midnight..the idea of ending and starting a year with fucking arguably the 3 best milkers is just wild, and while a small part of me wishes you could've explore more into the foursome action and some gxg between them as well, overall it was still smoking hot, considering the timing as well releasing this right at the end of the year with the theme of fucking them 3 to end the year is quite a nice touch honestly..and that Karina sequence especially was so fucking amazing,really,thank you for such an amazing fic to close 2023 and welcome 2024..
Last but not least, looking forward for your next works too, but do take your time and no need to rush things,good luck too for all the things you do in life and i'll patiently wait for you to drop the next one whenever you have the time too,best of luck and take care!
Happy new year to you as well!
Hope you like this small scene:
You watch as Jihyo takes the condom out of your hand. Getting distracted for a moment by Karina's lips, which wrap around the tip of your cock, you almost miss out on the sight in front of you.
Standing in the door to the bathroom, you can see Jihyo walking into the shower. Eunbi is inside, sitting in a pool of warm water and her own juices. And probably Karina's as well. Her eyes are only half open, her wet hair sticking to her face, shoulders and the tiles of the wall behind her.
Too tired to react, Eunbi feels how Jihyo pulls at her jaw, forcing her mouth to open. Tilting the condom in her hand, she let's your cum fall onto the breathless Eunbi. A small puddle of cum lands on her lips and mouth, before Jihyo cheekily, changes the angle. The rest of your sperm lands on the older girl's tits.
"Oops. My bad."
Jihyo coos as she chuckles, Eunbi too drained to defend herself.
A groan escapes your lift as Karina keeps sucking you off. Her hand holds onto your base, slowly stroking it, while her lips run along your length.
By the way her eyes are closed, you can tell how much she enjoys the taste of Eunbi's slick on your cock.
"Are you getting him hard enough for me? That's so sweet of you."
Jihyo is standing behind the youngest, who's eyes are now open in surprise and anger.
"(Y/n) just wrecked your pussy again. It's my turn, greedy slut."
Karina pouts as you glance at the window. It used to be completely fogged, due to the steam of the hot water coming from the shower. But Karina's face, which is completely wet by now, cleaned the window nicely. You pressed her against it as you took her from behind. The puddle of her cum is still staining the floor and parts of the windowsill.
Jihyo pulls at Karina's hair, making the younger hiss in pain as she gets forced off your cock.
"You better fuck me good, baby boy."
Jihyo takes you hand and walks out of the bathroom, just like Karina did a few hours ago.
Jihyo's tits feel like heaven. They are tightly wrapped around your cock as she kneels in front of you, while you lie on the bed. Her soft mounds move up and down, sandwiching your cock in between.
Karina is lying next to you, Eunbi's head buried between her thighs. The youngest moans as the oldest fucks her pussy with her tongue. Eunbi was shy about it at first, but is now getting into it. Karina's hands try to hold onto something, until they find your body. Her nails dig painfully into the skin on your arm and chest.
"Are you gonna shoot your load all over mommy's tits, baby?"
You are barely able to nod. Jihyo has a good eye, you are already close.
She spits into her cleavage, enabling her to move up and down your length even faster.
"Good boys always cum on their mommy's boobs."
Jihyo's eyes are fixated on yours as she tries to predict the exact moment in which you're gonna cum.
Next to you, Karina's moans have reached another high and so does her body. Her thighs trap Eunbi's head in place as she cums on the older girl's face.
"Unnie!"
Her sweet voice makes the word sound lewd and erotic.
It slowly pushes you over the edge as well.
"Cum for us. Jizz all over my tits."
You finally follow Jihyo's order.
You start exploding, your load coating her chest with your cum. She moans in satisfaction, feeling the warm liquid on her skin.
"That's a good boy."
She sighs, letting your cock fall out of the space between her tits.
Eunbi was able to force her head out of Karina's pussy by now. She is now straddling you, impaling herself on your cock. The sudden penetration makes you groan.
"Please breed me, baby."
She moans loudly.
"Can you get me pregnant?"
That whispered question makes you hard immediately. You are suddenly aware that Eunbi is riding you. Raw.
_____
Thank you for always reading my stuff, I will make sure to keep writing as soon as possible.
Stay healthy!
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Text
I Lied
Joel Miller x fem!reader (no use of y/n) Word count- 5.4k Excerpt- “I don’t love you.” It started as a joke, since Joel was very firm about not involving feelings in your arrangement. But then it turned into a routine for you to say it as he was leaving. If only he knew how much of a lie your words were… Joel turned and gave you a flash of a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “I don’t love you either." Prompts- Dialogue prompt- “ it’s alright, they’re gone now... are you alright? hey, look at me; are you hurt at all? “ Action prompt- [ HUG ]: sender, having just saved the receiver’s life, pulls them into a tight hug out of relief and a need to steady and support both themselves and the receiver Warnings- smut (18+ only!), fwb to lovers, mutual pining, protective!Joel, threats of violence towards reader, infected, hunters, minor violence, minor character death, oral (f receiving), soft sex, praise kink, feelings, love confession, slight possessiveness but in a soft way, takes place in Jackson after the first game/season Notes- Kicking off my Year of Protectiveness with my beloved Joel!! This is based off of a book that @spoopyredacted​ told me about there a fwb jokingly say "I don't love you" until they actually do and I loved this idea with Joel so much! And I just love Joel so much so I’m excited to share this one with y’all!! Enjoy! Reblogs/comments/asks/follows are greatly appreciated! @flightlessangelwings-updates​ is my update blog, please follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post
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~
“Oh fuck, you feel so good darlin.”
“Mmm… Joel… Yes… Harder…”
Joel’s body laid overtop of yours, pinning you to your mattress on your stomach and his hand tightly clutching yours. His bare skin rubbed against yours as he pounded into you, his thick cock thrusting into your wet pussy over and over again. His pace was slow yet hard, and it was everything you both needed. Joel grunted in your ear with every thrust as he felt your warmth engulf him. 
Moans and groans from both of you filled the room as he filled you better than anyone ever had before. Your mind swam as your eyes rolled back every time Joel hit that sweet spot deep inside you with precision and your clit rubbed against the crumbled sheets underneath you.
“Shit baby,” Joel growled in your ear as he felt you clench around him, “You gonna cum for me?”
“Yes,” your breathed as you lifted your head, “Fuck, Joel…” you moaned as you turned your head and took his lips with yours.
Joel’s beard ticked your skin as he immediately deepened the kiss. He sped up his thrusts as he pounded into you relentlessly and grabbed ahold of your hand. Tongues tangled together as Joel’s body completely engulfed yours, his fingers laced with yours as he felt you melt into the mattress beneath him. Sweat lined both your bodies as heat quickly rose in the room.
“Let me feel you cum,” he purred against your lips as he lunged your forward and planted your face into the bed once more.
It only took a few more thrusts of his cock for you to come undone and your climax hit with a loud moan. Your entire body trembled with the force of your orgasm as you screamed into the mattress. Joel watched in the dim light of your room as he felt every muscle in your body clench until he too came deep inside you with a groan of your name.
Once both of you were completely spent, Joel collapsed down on top of you and both of you let out heavy huffs. Your body went limp as his body weight covered you comfortingly, even when you were both sweaty and hot. His softening cock stayed inside you for several minutes as you both caught your breath. Joel tightened his grip on your hand as he peppered soft kisses wherever he could reach. And for that brief moment the two of you stayed lost in that bliss together.
The sound of your clock down the hall chimed midnight, and the fantasy of the escape ended as Joel took that as his cue to leave. With a groan, he reluctantly pulled out of you and pushed himself up to stand, “You alright there?” he asked in a whisper as he brushed his fingers across the side of your face once you rolled over. 
You blinked your eyes open and nodded, “Great,” you breathed.
Joel nodded before he stood with another groan and grabbed his clothes from the floor, mumbling about his aching knees as he did so. You watched with bated breath as he slid his jeans on and buttoned up his flannel shirt. In the dim moonlight, he looked so stunning, and you were sure he had no idea just how beautiful he was. From the defined pecs to his strong arms to his large hands to the soft features of his face, Joel was perfect to you. Your heart fluttered every time he smiled at you and when he held you close you thought you might burst from the overwhelming emotions. 
But he wasn’t yours to have.
This arrangement started many months ago after a night of too many beers. You and Joel had been friends and partners on patrol for some time, and you drunkenly confessed how frustrated you were at not having cum in so long. Having had one too many beers himself, Joel came up with a proposal: the two of you would use each other for release, but that was it. It never went further than that, and outside of your late night rendezvous, everything stayed the same.
You agreed enthusiastically, but after that first night you knew you were in trouble. Having him so close yet so far was both wondrous and torturous. You would watch as he dressed himself and left before the sun came up, and every time it got harder and harder.
When he was fully dressed and started towards the door, you called out to him, “Hey Joel…” 
Stay… 
“I don’t love you.” It started as a joke, since Joel was very firm about not involving feelings in your arrangement. But then it turned into a routine for you to say it as he was leaving. If only he knew how much of a lie your words were… 
Joel turned and gave you a flash of a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “I don’t love you either,” his low drawl went right to your core as he looked back at you from the doorway, his hand on the frame, “You on patrol tomorrow?”
“No,” you shook your head, “The day after.”
“Well you’re with me then,” Joel sounded happier at that, “See you then.”
“Bye…”
You waited until he went out your front door and locked it to settle into your bed, but sleep didn’t come as easily as you hoped it would…
*
You were focused. 
You had to be. 
Your crossbow stayed steady in your hand as you watched the last clicker stumble around the neighborhood, waiting for the perfect shot. Vaguely, you felt Joel’s presence behind you, his own gun aimed as well and his arm just brushed against your body. The two of you had found a rogue pack of clickers around some abandoned houses not too far from the wall of Jackson, and you took it upon yourself to take them out. And now there was only one felt.
Letting out a silent breath, you finally took your shot. Letting go of the trigger, you steadied yourself from the kickback as your arrow flew and hit the clicker right between the eyes. With a screech, it went down and flailed for a moment before it laid silent. The tension in the air vanished as the last threat was eliminated.
“Nice shot, baby,” Joel placed his hand on your back, “I think that was the last of ‘em.”
“Thanks,” you murmured as you fought the warmth that spread from his hand. No, you were on patrol, you couldn’t let your feelings get in the way right now. You couldn’t let your feelings get in the way at all, not when you knew Joel would never be more than your fuck buddy.
“Let’s make a sweep through the street and double check. Then we can head back,” Joel’s voice sounded calm and collected, “Hey…” his brows furrowed when he noticed the solemn look on your face, “You ok?”
You shook yourself out of your thoughts, “Fine,” you lied, “Just focused is all.”
He gently nudged your cheek in a rare display of affection outside of your bedroom, “Well you did good,” Joel gave you a genuine smile, “Let’s get going.”
“Right behind you,” you followed his lead like you always did. 
Together, you and Joel checked the small alleyways and open doors for any signs of infected. You split up, but never strayed far, and vaguely you felt Joel’s eyes on you at all times as if he never wanted to let you completely out of his sight. You were sure you imagined it, though, and after a sweep of the little neighborhood, you met back up with him in a clearing.
“I think we got them all,” you sighed as you put your weapons away, “Shall we head back, I’m ready for a drink.”
Joel let out a soft laugh, “A drink and a comfortable chair sounds good right now. Let’s go.”
But just as the two of you were about to head back to Jackson, a rustle in the bushes called both your attention. Joel immediately pushed you behind him and both of you pulled out your weapons, ready for wherever lay in the shadows. Joel let out a low growl as he tensed, and you weren’t sure what to make of the way he shielded you with his own body.
“Hey, hey…” a voice called from the bushes as three men emerged, “Friendlies here,” they tentatively stepped forward with their hands in the air.
Joel glanced over at you, who remained stiff and tense, and he whispered your name to offer you comfort before he turned his attention back to the men, “What are y’all doing here?” he asked them.
“We’re just passing through,” the leader replied as he stepped forward more, “We noticed that pack of clickers, but you two got to them before we could,” he glanced over at you, “So thank you.”
Joel clenched his jaw as he looked them up and down. None of them had their weapons out, though he saw the guns on their belts. He had a bad feeling about them, but they appeared to not be threats, so slowly, he lowered his gun. From behind him, Joel felt you do the same, trusting his judgment without question. It stirred feelings within him that he tried so hard to bury…
“Now we can have a conversation,” the leader grinned before he looked at you again, “Hey there sweet thing.”
A chill ran down your spine, “Hi,” you replied bluntly.
Joel felt the tension from your body and tried to redirect the men’s attention back to him. And truthfully, he didn’t like the way they looked at you either, “Y’all need directions? Where are you heading?”
The leader looked annoyed by Joel’s questioning, “Oh our camp isn’t far from here actually, we know where we're going. We just set out looking for some supplies and…” his smile darkened and Joel felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. 
Before Joel could do anything, he heard you yelp behind him and in an instant he was on high alert again. 
“Joel!” you screamed. 
Spinning around, Joel raised his gun but the sight that met him made his blood run cold. Two other men had snuck up behind you and one of them grabbed you and pinned you against him. He was much bigger than you, and catching you off guard worked to his advantage. The other pointed his gun right at Joel and from the corner of his eye, he saw the other three pull theirs out as well.
“Shit…” Joel cursed under his breath. How could he let his guard down like that? How could he put you in danger like that? 
“How here’s how this is gonna work,” the leader paced around so that he stood in front of Joel once more, “As you can see, we’re… lacking… in female company here,” his wicked grin could freeze the desert as he spoke, “Now we’re not gonna hurt the lady here… We just need to… borrow her…”
“The fuck you are!” Joel roared as his blood boiled. 
It was a sight he never wanted to see: you in trouble… and scared. Everything Joel buried deep down bubbled to the surface when he saw you pinned against this other man with a gun to your head. He didn’t even care about the guns that were pointed at him. All Joel cared about was getting you safe. 
“Let her go,” Joel snarled. 
You watched Joel quickly lose his cool from your captor’s arms and your mind ran a mile a minute. This was bad, and you cursed yourself for not hearing the others sneak up behind you. And no matter what they would do to you, you could never forgive yourself if Joel got hurt because of you… or worse. 
No. You had to think of something and think of something fast. When you heard the click of the men’s guns, you took a deep breath and made your move.
“Joel!” you called out to him to try and get the other men distracted.
When everyone started to turn towards you, you stomped on your captor’s foot hard, causing him to cry out and loosen his hold on you. When he did, you elbowed him in the gut with as much force as you could muster. But, before he could pull the trigger on his gun, you grabbed his wrist and forced his arm up just before he fired a shot into the air. 
And then all hell broke loose.
Your captor immediately launched himself at you and tackled you to the ground. And the other men attacked Joel. All you heard were grunts, yells and gunshots as your captor’s body completely covered yours, his gun having gone off one more time. Hitting the ground hard, you saw stars for a moment until you blacked out with your captor’s weight on top of you. 
Joel’s vision went red as he grabbed the closest man and smashed his head into the ground. Once he was unconscious, Joel grabbed his gun and fired twice, hitting the other two men right in the chest. Then he growled as he went for the leader. Joel grabbed the man’s wrist as he dodged his gunfire and hurled them both to the ground. 
Joel straddled the leader and punched him hard in the face, ignoring his own pain. He then quickly grabbed his gun and slapped him with it before shooting twice. Rage boiled over in his system, and Joel couldn’t even make out the features of the leader’s face by the time he was done. It wasn’t until the man beneath him stayed completely still that Joel pushed himself up and ran over to you with your name on his lips.
The man who held you captive laid overtop of you, covering you completely. Joel’s hands trembled as he called out your name again while he yanked the man’s body off of you. “Shit… Shit, No, No No, No…” Joel silently prayed that you weren’t taken from him. 
You were on your back with your eyes closed, and you were covered in blood. Joel screamed your name as he cupped your face, “Fuck… Baby, wake up… Please!”
A gasp escaped your lips as your eyes flew open and immediately Joel wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest. You panicked for a moment, worried that it was someone else who held you, but the moment Joel said your name, you inhaled sharply as you went completely still. 
“Hey, baby look at me,” Joel’s hands cupped either side of your face, “Look at me,” he repeated in an urgent tone, “It’s alright, they’re gone now... Are you alright? Shit,” He wrapped his arms around you again and held you tightly and you immediately clung to his shirt as you trembled in his arms. He stayed like that for several long moments, just holding you in his arms, “Hey, look at me; Are you hurt at all?” Joel pulled away just enough to look you over as you just looked back at him in shock.
Joel checked you over and he gasped when he saw a large amount of blood on the front of your body. He quickly tugged at your shirt to check for injuries, and his heart pounded in his chest at the thought of losing you. No, he couldn’t lose you. Especially not before he told you… 
“Joel?” your meek voice broke him out of his thoughts. You had never seen him like this before. Ellie had told you about their journey across the country and how fiercely he protected her, but you had never seen it firsthand until now. And you weren't sure what to make of the way he looked at you and the way his thumb brushed across your skin in a comforting motion. “I’m ok,” you breathed as you looked deep into Joel’s eyes, “The blood isn’t mine.”  
He let out a relieved exhale when he didn’t see any major injuries on your skin; the gunshot that went off hit your assailant and not you. “Let’s get to the safehouse. We’ll get you cleaned up before we go back into town,” his voice was low and raw. And you swore you saw his eyes glisten as if he fought back tears…
“Ok,” you whispered as you watched him stand and extend a hand for you. You took his hand without hesitation, and you felt the strength in his grip as he helped you up.
The journey to the safehouse was a blur that you barely remembered. Joel kept you against his body, his arm tightly wrapped around you as he guided you through the familiar path to the patrol checkpoint. He went through the motions to get into the secure house and swept through to make sure it was safe before he turned back to you.
“Hey,” he murmured your name, “Look at me,” he waited for you to meet his gaze, “You’re safe now. You’re alright.”
“Joel…” you breathed as you felt him guide you to the couch in the small room off to the side. He set you in the middle before he sat down on the floor in front of you.
Fully trusting him, you lifted your arms when he tugged at your bloodied shirt. Joel scanned you up and down once more before he grabbed a small cloth and cleaned up the blood and dirt that stained your skin. You winced slightly when he hit a more tender spot, but otherwise, the two of you were silent. Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched the tender way Joel cleaned you up and bandaged the tiny cuts that littered your skin.
You had never seen him like this before, and you had no idea what to make of it. The way he gave you an apologetic glance whenever you hissed in pain made your heart flutter. The way he so carefully wiped away the blood of your assailant from your skin. The way his hand never left your body, even for a moment. It brought a tear to your eye as the feelings you fought for long long won against you.
But his next words made the dam break entirely.
Joel let out a deep sigh, “Baby I lied,” he whispered as his eyes dropped down to the floor.
“What?” you felt your breath catch in your chest as your hand trembled.
“I lied,” Joel looked up at you with big eyes that held tears of their own, “I do love you. I fucking love you.”
You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your lips.
“I’ve loved you for so fuckin’ long, baby,” he sighed, “I know I said no feelings but… When those assholes had you, I-I couldn’t even see straight.”
“Joel…” 
You breathed his name as you grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him towards you, crashing your lips together. He gasped in surprise at your action, but immediately closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face as he tasted you on his tongue: a reminder that you were still here with him. And the passions of your kiss ignited a fire from deep in his core.
When you broke away, you whispered against his lips, “Joel, I’ve loved you since before we started hooking up.” 
Joel exhaled deeply as he said your name in a prayer. He tightened his grip on your face as he looked deep into your eyes. Feeling how warm you were under his touch, a wave of relief washed over Joel; you were her in front of him, safe and sound… and you loved him too. His fingers wiped away a single tear that fell from the corner of your eye before he leaned in and kissed you again.
This kiss was different from any before. It was slow and tender, yet it still held all the emotions that both of you held back for so long. Your lips parted for him as you clung to his shirt while his hands roamed all over your body. While your tongues danced together in a rhythm that belonged uniquely to the two of you, Joel ran his hands down your sides and tugged at your pants. 
Without a word, you lifted your hips for him to remove your pants, your lips barely breaking away from his. Your hands reached up and cupped his face, burying your fingers in his beard as you did so. A groan escaped Joel’s lips as you gave it a soft tug and parted your legs for him.
“Joel…”
“Shhh,” he trailed a finger across your lips, “I’ve got you, baby.”
“I know you do…” your hushed tone held all the admiration for the man before you that laid buried for so long. 
Joel’s breath hitched in his throat as he soaked in the sight of you naked on the couch before him, your legs parted and your pussy already glistening with arousal, “Shit you look so fucking beautiful,” he groaned before he crashed his lips to yours again.
You surrendered yourself to him like you had many times before. There was no one else in this world who you trusted, and though you’d been with Joel before, this time felt different. This was slow and sensual, and at the same time neither of you held back with your feelings. Joel devoured you with his mouth as his hands cupped your breasts, and he swallowed the moan you let out when his rough fingers grazed your nipples.
Joel kissed his way down your neck, stopping at the sensitive spot at the base to suck harder on your skin before he reached your breasts. Squeezing hard, he savored all the sounds of pleasure you let out as you threw your head back and buried your hands in his hair. He murmured a soft praise as he nibbled on the soft mounds and inhaled your scent.
You cried out louder when Joel wrapped his lips around your nipple and flicked at with his tongue. You wrapped your arms around his neck and yanked him closer against you as you hiked your legs on his broad shoulders. Joel sucked hard, knowing exactly what you liked, as his jeans felt tighter as his cock hardened from your moans.
“Joel… Fuck you’re so good,” your own praise flowed from your lips as he gently bit down on your nipple before he kissed his way to the other one and gave it the same treatment, “Joel… Please…”
He knew what you begged for better than you did, and Joel broke away from your breast with a loud pop. When he looked at you, his eyes were glazed over with lust, and it only grew as looked at how stunning you were on the couch before him with your legs up on his shoulders. 
“Fuck baby…” he groaned, “You never looked more beautiful.”
You blinked your eyes open and you gasped when you saw the look of pure adoration on Joel’s face. But you didn’t have the chance to savor it for long as Joel dipped his head down between your legs and kissed your pussy softly. You cried out as he darted his tongue out and licked your folds as his hands gripped your thighs strongly. 
“Joel…” you moaned as you yanked on his hair.
He moaned between your legs as he slurped and sucked at your pussy with fervor. Joel loved to go down on you, but it wasn’t something he did often out of fear that his feelings for you would grow past the point where he could hold himself back. But now, there was no holding back. He devoured you like you were his last meal, and he didn’t care about being neat about it.
Joel was messy and desperate as he licked long strips up and down your cunt before wrapping his lips around your clit. You screamed when his tongue flicked the sensitive spot of your pussy and your back arched as your body heated up. Your legs trembled on either side of his head as you tugged harder at his hair and Joel  knew you were close.
As much as he wanted to murmur encouragement, Joel didn’t want to break away from your pussy. You were too warm and too delicious to let go of, even for a moment. So, Joel tightened his grip on you and nodded his head up and down as he licked your folds. When your cries hit a high pitch, he sucked at your clit once more and that was all it took for you to break.
You came with a loud scream of his name that echoed in the tiny room. Joel kept up his rhythm with his tongue as you gushed into his face and your entire body shook. Tears flowed from your eyes as you rode out your high on Joel;s face until you couldn’t take anymore. When you let out a soft whimper, he finally broke away and both of you breathed heavily as the heat in the room enveloped you both.
Joel couldn’t take his eyes off of you and how beautiful you looked. His beard glistened as he looked at you with adoring eyes. Vaguely, he wondered how he held back his feelings for so long when you looked like that. He had told himself that the only way he could have you was with your arrangement, and Joel was forever grateful it was him who drunkenly confessed to that night. 
A whine from you jolted Joel out of his thoughts, and he was suddenly aware that you pushed yourself up to sit and started to unbutton his shirt. He looked at you with pure love in his eyes as you hastily exposed the skin of his chest and pushed the shirt off his broad shoulders. And when you looked at him, the dam broke again.
“Let me, Joel,” your voice was soft yet held all the emotions in your heart.
He groaned, “Baby…” Joel’s large hands covered yours as they worked on the zipper of his jeans and together the two of you shed the last layer of clothing in a heated rush, “I need you too fuckin’ bad right now.”
“Fuck,” you breathed, “Joel, I’ve never needed you more than right now so get on this couch and fuck me, cowboy.”
“Yes ma’am,” the words rumbled in his chest as he pushed you onto your back and practically leapt on top of you. In that moment, he was grateful that couch was wide enough to hold you both, because he couldn’t hold himself back and for what he had planned, Joel didn’t want to fuck you on the floor.
Joel’s lips crashed into yours and you immediately allowed him in. You wrapped your arms around him, your nails digging into his back. He bucked his hips against yours as he settled between your parted legs, and his eyes glanced over at the one leg you hiked up onto the back of the couch to allow him space.
“Shit baby you look so fuckin’ pretty like this,” Joel murmured against your skin as he kissed wherever he could reach.
You moaned at his praise as you felt a fresh wave of wetness in your cunt. His rough hands handled you so gently as his cock teased your folds, and you thought you might burst from pure emotions. A tear threatened to roll down your cheek but you refused to let it. The moment was too perfect, and all you needed was Joel inside you.
“Please Joel… Don’t tease me today… I can’t…”
Before you could finish your thought, Joel had already obliged your request and pushed the tip of his length into you. You dropped your head down onto the cushion as you cried out in pure bliss. Inch by slow, delicious inch, Joel filled you, stretching you out with his cock. The tear in your eye finally fell, and Joel leaned forward and kissed it away the moment he saw it.
“You fill me so well,” you moaned, “So good, Joel… My Joel.”
“Oh fuck, sweetheart,” Joel involuntarily thrust his hips as your words went right to his core. His heart pounded in his chest as he cock twitched inside you. Your warmth engulfed him and you had a hold on him unlike anyone before. He clenched his jaw as the possibility of losing you flashed in his mind for a moment, but it vanished when you clenched your inner muscles around him.
He growled as he leaned forward and thrust into you again, pulling another cry of pleasure from your lips. Again, Joel pulled back and thrust himself into you so that he was buried to the hilt inside you. Moans and groans from both of you filled the room as Joel continued his slow pace. He savored every little feeling of you, every little sound you made, and every micro expression you made.
“Fuck baby,” Joel grunted, “You’re so fucking beautiful… Takin’ me so well,” his usual composure was gone as the words flowed, “So beautiful with this perfect fucking pussy,” Joel enunciated every word with a thrust of his hips. The way his skin slapped against yours drove both of you wild.
“Your fucking pussy,” you choked as you dug your nails into his back.
Joel couldn’t help the growl he let out at your declaration. But as much as he wanted to pound into you until you both came, he wanted to keep his slow pace. This was different from times before. This wasn’t just a fuck for release, this was him making love to you. Times before, Joel didn’t hold back physically as you let him be as rough as he wanted with you. But he did hold back emotionally. Today, it was the opposite. All the emotions poured from Joel with every snap of his hips, with every time his cock hit that sweet spot deep inside you. 
“My girl.”
“Yours,” you echoed breathlessly.
“You gonna be my good girl and cum for me again, baby?” Joel gasped as he felt his own climax quickly build within him. Between how you felt under and around him and the emotions that ran sky high, he wasn’t going to last much longer. But he wasn’t about to hit his peak without taking you with him.
“Yes… Joel… Fuck…” you moaned as your own emotions swirled in your head as fresh tears ran down the sides of your face, “Joel I’m gonna…”
“Me too, baby…”
Together, you and Joel simultaneously hit your climaxes and hit them hard. You dug your nails so hard into his back that you felt skin break, but neither of you cared. All you cared about was the other, and the wave of pure pleasure that crashed into your bodies over and over again as you rode out your orgasms together. 
Everything that remained unspoken for so long bubbled over and you even felt a tear or two splash onto your face that wasn’t yours. You opened your eyes and watched as Joel’s eye never felt you, and it sent a warm wave of goosebumps across your body. Your mouth dropped open as you let out another moan before Joel collapsed down on top of you, completely spent. 
Joel laid out on top of you, your bodies still connected together. Neither of you wanted to move, Joel wanted to keep you safe in his arms and you didn’t want to lose the feeling of him on top of you and inside you just yet. But, daylight was slipping away and the two of you needed to get back into the safety of Jackson’s walls.
“We should get moving soon, baby,” Joel murmured against your ear.
“In a few minutes,” you stroked his hair and kissed his scalp softly, “Let’s stay like this just a little longer.” 
Joel let out a soft laugh and you felt his smile against your face, “Whatever you want, baby.”
You were quiet for a few moments, comfortable in that silence before you spoke again, “Hey Joel…”
“Yeah?”
“I do love you,” you chuckled softly.
He joined your laughter, but it also felt so good to not lie to you anymore, “I do love you too, baby.”
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xetswan · 9 months
Text
Jacob Black x fem!Reader
Anything For You
Warnings:kind of angsty, cursing.
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You’ve been best friends with Jacob for years, being so close with him his friends were your friends. Even Billy counted you as family. Especially due to your parents always being away for business oriented reasons, never having time for their daughter.
But as of lately Jacob has been distant, only because of an old friend back in town. Bella Swan. The girl who made your best friend ditch you for every plan you guys have made these past weeks.
Something you didn’t realize was truly bothering you until you called him one night. The one night you begged him not to miss and he did. It was the night of your concert for your school orchestra. A thing you took pride in.
When you looked in the crowd to find Embry, Quil, Seth, Paul and Billy. But no Jacob. His excuse was that he had forgotten, simple mistake.
Simple mistake that crushed you beyond belief.
It was one thing for your parents to miss your concerts, to not even come home for dinner. But Jacob doing this was a betrayal even you felt childish for being upset about.
And then today, you waited outside where he said he would meet you after dropping Bella off at home. He said that he would be there at 3 pm. As it is now reaching 5:30 you pulled out your sketch book. You talked to your school counselor who gave it to you, telling you to draw or write down how you feel.
Today you wrote, filling two pages front and back about how you miss your best friend.
Who you thought even at one point could have been more than your best friend. Thinking you guys were just reaching that point in life.
“[Name]!?” The voice made you hopeful but once it actually reached your ears you frowned slightly as it was not who you were waiting for. “Hey, Seth.” You forced a smile.
“Hey, uh Embry, Quil and I were gonna go to the beach. We noticed you’ve been sitting here a while. We wondered if you wanted to join?” His eyes looked hopeful.
The boy had a crush on you, he’s had one for a few years. Knowing who your heart belonged to he never said anything but everyone knew.
Even you.
“Uh, I guess.” You shrug, getting up from your spot.
Trying to enjoy yourself with the thoughts in the back of your mind was irritating, forcing yourself to laugh along with their jokes you actually didn’t understand.
The four of you tossed a ball to each other, Quil now had it in his hands and you sighed. Waiting until it came to you. “Hey, you alright over there?” Embry shouted with a grin on his face, not knowing you actually were not doing well.
“Oh, I’m fine!” You wave a hand to motion you were okay. Quil raised an eyebrow. “You sure it has nothing to do with Billy Blacks son?” He questions and your eyes spiked open from what he said.
“What?” Was all that could form out of your mouth.
“We’ve seen how much of a douche he’s been, [Name] we aren’t blind.” Embry tells you, not meaning to be so harsh but it just came out that way. You glance down, catching the ball from him. “I uh, didn’t know other people noticed.” You gripped the football, not wanting to make eye contact with them.
“Of course we noticed, especially when he fucking didn’t come to your concert you’ve been non stop talking about.” Quil rolls his eyes.
You laugh,
“It’s whatever, he’s happy hanging out with her. I can’t rely on him all the time.” You try to force up a lie on how you feel. “Yeah, okay. Throw the ball, princess.” Embry winks.
Taking in a breath you chucked it at Seth, not realizing how hard you threw it. And the fact that he wasn’t ready it hit him right in the face. “Oh my god!” You gasp, covering your mouth as the other two burst into laughter.
He groans, holding his nose, checking to see if it was bleeding and luckily it wasn’t. “I’m so sorry, Seth!” You run over to him. Trying not to laugh now as the others bent over holding onto each other as they can’t contain it.
“It’s okay,” he waves it off but you shake your head. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He says and you pull him into a hug.
“You got one hell of an arm.” Embry snickers.
“Shut up.” You mutter silently to them as you hold the younger boy.
“Im really okay, [Name].” He tells you as his face burns hotter and he grows flustered.
“That’s what’s going to give him a nosebleed.” Quil teases and the two laugh again.
“Oh leave him alone.” You tell them then look down at him and your mouth goes into the shape of an ‘o’ so you let him go. The boy clears his throat. “I’ll go get the ball now.” He announces but as he turns around Jacob was standing there handing him the football.
His face laid no expression. Your heart races from him just being near.
“Can I talk to you?” His eyes meet yours and your posture straightens. “Can it wait for later?” You nervously glance at the other guys who stand awkwardly.
“We will just go.” Embry says, grabbing Seth nod pushing him away, Quil follows. You mentally curse at them for leaving you.
“Please, just hear me out.”
“What is it Jake?” You snap, acting impatient wanting to get whatever this conversation will be to just happen.
He reluctantly pulls out your sketchbook and your eyes widen. You instantly run to your bag, digging through it to find that exact same book, not believing you actually left it back at the house.
“[Name] why didn’t you-“
“Oh don’t give me shit! I can’t believe you read through my book!” You snatch the book back, throwing it on the ground. “Why would you read it?” Your voice cracked as tears threatened to peak through. Trying to shove the feeling down.
“Hey, calm down.” He steps closer but you step back and a pained expression shoots across his face.
“Go vent to Bella about it.” You sat on the sad, picking the book back up and staring at it.
“Please.” He comes closer. “What!? Just say what you need to say. Get it over with since you obviously won’t give up.” Tears fall and you quickly wipe them away as you feel ashamed and embarrassed.
“I.. I didn’t realize I was being such an asshole.” He says, he follows every movement you make, “[Name] there are no excuses to how I have been treating you.” He falls to his knees in front of you. “No, there’s not. No excuse for going through my shit either.” You point a finger in his face, hiccuping as you cried.
“I know,” he sighs. “I don’t know why I got so excited when Bella needed me. I don’t know why I left you out and forgot your fucking concert. It was unexceptional of me.” He tries to get closer so you would look at him but you turned your head to stare at the waves of the water, gripping the book.
“You’re worth more than that. You’ve been my person- my number one for years.” He takes the book out of your hands, throwing it aside and holding your wrists. You don’t resist. You close your eyes, not wanting anymore tears to fall in front of him. “I got confused, I… I realized I need you. More than anything, more than the food I eat, the water that graces this Earth, I’d rather lose sleep that’s how much I need you. I need you near me or I can’t breathe. The distance that pulled us apart was slowly breaking me and I didn’t even know that feeling was because I wasn’t with you.” He expresses, his voice wavering throughout his words. Your body shutters as your silently sob, your lip quivering as you shivered.
The look on your face physically hurts him, his body feels like crumbling knowing that this was because of him.
“I want- need you to know I will do anything. Anything to make it up to you. To never see these tears fall from those pretty eyes unless they were happy ones.”
Your eyes follow from his hands holding tightly to your wrists, going up his torso then to his lips, and then lands on his eyes.
For the first time, the world shifted. Everything grows brighter, his touch burning but you don’t move an inch. An energy switch from wanting to hate him more than anything to just wanting him around you. Even without speaking you’d be okay.
A small noise escapes passed your lips, then you speak. “As much as I want to punch you, to tell you to go away and never speak to me again after you hurt me. I don’t truly wish for that. I want to trust every word and don’t look back.”
His eyes soften, he lets you go slowly. “Please forgive me.” He whispers, his voice trembling which breaks you. You pull him into an embrace, one hand stabilizing himself on the ground and the other wrapped around you. “[Name] there’s nothing in this world I won’t do to be yours.” He holds you closer.
“Just be here. With me.”
Then pushing him back to look at him again. “Always.”
Like magnets, force brings you two together, his lips on yours. Igniting a fire from every touch you lay on his skin.
Pulling away his fingers wipe away your tears and you grin at him. “More of that and I’ll forgive you for everything.”
He laughs, pulling you onto his lap. “Anything for you.”
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bingwriterxo · 10 months
Text
distrust
pairing: tara carpenter x reader
summary: in which you and tara have the conversation
warnings: mentions of stabbing
word count: 1100+
author’s note: heheheh
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“We need to talk.”
The words tasted like poison on your tongue and felt like shards of glass as they tore their way past your lips, hanging heavy in the air. They were met with silence, and you watched Tara’s shoulders tense—the only sign of acknowledgement you received.
You huffed, standing from her bed and crossing the room, taking the back of her chair in your hand and spinning her around to face you. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, the skin between them creasing, but her eyes were trained on the wall behind you, glazed over as though you weren’t even there.
“Tara,” you said, voice short.
She glanced up at you, but her gaze didn’t linger, falling right back to the spot on the wall. “What?” She sounded annoyed, like she wanted to be anywhere other than there.
You swallowed and took a step back, wondering if a conversation was even worth it, but still you trudged on, figuring you owed it to yourself. “We need to talk,” you repeated, continuing with, “about us.”
Tara shrugged. “Okay. What?”
The weight of the situation came crashing down on you, and you sat on the edge of her bed, your legs trembling. Were you really about to have the conversation with the woman you had believed was the love of your life?
Bile rose in the back of your throat as you thought about the best way to phrase your next sentence. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about the conversation—in fact, you had envisioned it so many times in the past few days that you were starting to drive yourself nuts—but now that it was actually happening, no words seemed to be good enough.
You inhaled shakily and clamped your eyes shut. “Do you still want this?” you asked in a whisper, unable to speak any louder.
For a moment, it was silent. You opened your eyes to find Tara’s gaze finally on you, and you shivered beneath her hard stare.
When she didn’t respond, you tried again. “Do you still want to be in a relationship with me, Tara?”
She blinked; then, “Why are you asking me that?” Her words were backed by anger, but her face was completely blank, revealing none of her emotions.
“I just…” You sighed and bowed your head, staring at your wringing hands. “I don’t know who you are anymore, Tar. You barely talk to me; you can barely look at me. It just feels like you don’t want this anymore.”
Tara scoffed, drawing your attention back to her, and a pit began to claw its way into your stomach as her face contorted into irritation.
“I don’t know what you expect!” she all but shouted, causing you to slink back. “I mean, Jesus, Y/N! What the hell do you expect?!”
“Tara—”
“In the past year, I’ve been attacked multiple times by people I cared about! First, it was my girlfriend.” You glanced down, vision blurring at the mention of Amber. “Then, my roommate and one of my friends! I mean, do you think I’m gonna be happy-go-lucky constantly?”
“No, of course not, but—”
“I don’t even know who’s capable of what anymore!” She ran a hand down her face. “I don’t even know if I can tru—” She cut herself off, like she suddenly thought better of her next few words, but it was too late.
“If you can trust me?” you finished, voice wavering. You blinked back your tears and looked at her, frowning. “That’s what you were going to say, right?”
Tara simply stared at you, expression dissolving into nothingness again. She was good at that, you had learned over the few months since the last Ghostface attack—it was easy for her to put on a mask, to pretend and lie and act. You hated it.
“Is that why you’ve been acting like you couldn’t care less about me?” you asked, the very words making you feel like your world was breaking apart. “Because you think I could…what…suddenly decide to attack you one day? And maybe, if that happens, it’d be better that you have no attachment to me anymore? That’d make it easier, right?”
Her jaw clenched, but her eyes softened. She looked pained, like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say, what she was supposed to do.
“If that’s the way you’re thinking, Tara, then this has to be over.” You bit your bottom lip, wishing that it would stop trembling, but you could do nothing for the tears that fell or the way your heart twisted painfully. “Because I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.” You shook your head. “And I—I can’t be with someone who treats me the way you have.”
Tara swallowed. Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks, destroying her stony facade, and you watched as her fingers gripped the arm rests of her chair, her knuckles turning stark white.
“If I could—“ She sniffled and wiped at her eyes with the heel of her palms. “If things went back to the way they were before the attack, could we still be together?” Her voice was soft and careful, filled with hurt and pain and everything you never wanted to be the reason for. “Because I don’t—I can’t lose you, Y/N.”
“Would you ever be able to trust me again?”
She glanced away, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I don’t know,” she admitted, words cracking beneath the weight they held.
You nodded, defeated. “A relationship without trust is hardly a relationship.” Her eyes flitted back to you, so much sorrow buried in them that you wished for once she wasn’t paying you any attention. “How am I supposed to be with someone who’s afraid that I’m going to end up attacking them one day?”
Her face fell, her body slumping back into her chair. The realization crashed down on her, just the same as it crashed down on you. This was it. This was the end.
You stood on still-shaking legs and gathered your things, your body trembling and your knees threatening to give out as you crossed the room, your hand resting on her doorknob.
You pulled the door open, hesitating for just a moment, hoping that she would say something, anything, to make you stay. But instead, all you heard was the smallest, softest,
“I’m sorry.”
You hung your head and whispered, “I am, too,” before walking out and shutting the door behind you, effectively ending everything that had existed between you and Tara.
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justagalwhowrites · 9 months
Text
Yearling - Ch. 1: Break
A night out takes a turn. The first chapter of Yearling, a TLOU fan fiction. Find the Masterlist here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.
Length: 5.6k
AO3 | Next Chapter
Friday, September 26, 2003
Dubois, Wyoming 
“They ain’t even that good,” you took a sip of beer, glaring at the girl in the short, white eyelet lace sundress standing near the band on stage. Your Texas accent got stronger when you were drunk. It also got stronger when you were pissed. You were speaking with a full blown drawl now. “I can play better n’them.” 
“Baby Doll, you can play better than everyone in town,” Justin leaned down, his head so close to you that you could feel his breath on your cheek, his lips brushing the shell of your ear when he spoke. His arm went around your waist. “Better than you is a damn a high bar…” 
You could hear the smile on his voice and you turned around in his arms to face him, eyes narrowed. 
“You’re lovin’ this,” you said. “I can tell, you’re just havin’ the time of your life…” 
“I ain’t gonna lie to you,” he smirked. “It is fun seein’ you get all worked up over a girl hittin’ on me.” 
“I am not!” You swatted his chest. “I just think it’s disrespectful, she saw me come in with you, she should know that you’re gonna dance with the one that brung ya…” 
“Hey,” he teased. “I brung you, not the other way ‘round…” 
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved him off, turning back around and taking another sip of beer just in time to see the girl in question heading to the bathroom with one of her friends. She looked a little green and you smiled a little. Served her right. You looked back up at Justin. “Don’t go thinkin’ you’re hot shit now just because I didn’t like some rancher’s daughter tryin’ to climb you like a tree.” 
“Oh I’d never dream that you thought I was hot shit,” he kissed your temple. “Don’t you worry. Need another?” 
“It’s Friday night and if I’m gonna listen to that band fuck up ‘Devil Went Down to Georgia’ you better goddamm well get me another,” you said. He just shook his head and worked his way up to the bar. You smiled a little, watching him go, rapping your fingers along the side of your almost empty beer bottle. 
You were getting attached to Justin. 
He’d started out as something fun to do over the summer when he showed up at the ranch you’d been working at for more than a year now. He was a few years older - not enough to make it scandalous but enough that he knew what the fuck he was doing. He was rugged and handsome and he was happy to buy you beer and whiskey because, at 19, getting your hands on the stuff was tricky. It had started in May with you fucking him. 
At first, that’s all it had been. After a few weeks of him staring at you when you were hanging tack back up at the end of the day, you all but cornered him in the barn. 
“You got some kind of problem with me, cowboy?” You snapped, getting so close to him that the brim of your hat almost caught his chin. 
“No I do not,” he replied. “Unless you count the fact that your ass looks way too damn good in those jeans to be doin’ nothin’ but ridin’ horses all day. Otherwise, I got the opposite of a problem with you.” 
“Oh,” you stepped back from him, looking him up and down. He was tall, broad, handsome. He reminded you a bit of the boy you’d lost your virginity to when you were 16 and he’d been working on your parents’ ranch back in Texas. “Well, I’m done for the day, headin’ back to my room. You’re welcome to join if you want to see what else I’m good at ridin’ on.” 
You turned and started off toward the bunkhouse. He scrambled to catch up with you and you smirked a little. He was definitely going to be fun. 
In August, he asked if you wanted to go to dinner sometime. You frowned, looking over at him, his naked body shiny with sweat. 
“Dinner,” you said, incredulous. “With me.” 
“That’s what I said,” he replied, looking over at you. “Unless there’s someone else you’d rather go to dinner with…” 
“You realize you’re already fucking me, right?” You frowned. “You don’t have to try.” 
“Oh trust me, I noticed,” he grinned, a little cocky. “But I’d like to do more than fuck you. So I’m askin’ you to dinner. Gonna try to make a proper lady outta you and all that.” 
You snorted. 
“No proper lady to be had here,” you said. “But… we can have dinner.” 
This was actual date number five. Not that the number of dates meant much when you were already screwing every chance you got. 
But you’d gotten to really like Justin, especially now that you were spending almost every spare second together. Maybe love him. A little. You’d cross that bridge when you came to it. 
“You know,” he came and pressed a new beer into your hand and took your empty bottle, putting it on a nearby table. “Bet you’d look pretty as hell in a little dress like that…” 
He ran his nose along your temple and you glared at him a little. 
“OK, first of all, it’s after Labor Day, wearin’ all white like that is tacky,” you said. “Second of all, you get frustrated when I take 10 minutes to tame my hair before we leave, you know how long it takes to look that put together? Longer than you want to wait, cowboy.” 
“OK well I’m dyin’ to know where you got that Labor Day thing from. But you’re prettier than her, so I’m sure it wouldn’t take you that long,” he said, smirking a bit. “And I’m not talkin’ about for every day. Maybe if we were to… I dunno… take a trip somewhere.” 
“A trip?” You smiled, brows raised. “You tryin’ to take me away from all this, that it?” 
“Maybe,” he winked. “Thinkin’ maybe a few days, we run away to a cabin on a lake, find some fun restaurants, I get to spend way more time kissin’ you than usual…” 
“Sounds good to me,” you were about to move to kiss him when there was a strange, snarling sound from over his shoulder. You frowned, leaning around him just as he turned to look. 
The girl from before - in the stupid white dress - flew at him, her blonde hair tangled, her fingers curved so her nails were more like claws. He stepped back, his hands going up to stop her but she didn’t seem to notice or care. 
She jumped, knocking him to the ground as you jumped out of the way, the girl ripping at his shirt before digging her bared teeth into his neck. 
“What the fuck!” You yelled, grabbing her by the hair and yanking her backward. She sprawled on the floor next to Justin for a second before she scrambled up onto all fours and tried to rush you. You took your half full beer bottle and throttled her on the side of her head, hitting her with every ounce to strength you had, sending her down to the ground, unconscious. 
“Shit!” A man near you looked between you and the girl. 
“Hey, she fuckin’ started it!” You snapped. “She just tried to take a chunk out of my boyfriend’s neck!” 
Someone else got down on the ground with the girl as Justin got to his feet. You looked at his throat, her teeth marks red and oozing. 
“Jesus, she got you good…” you frowned, leaning in close. 
“We should call the cops,” the man near you said. 
“And that’s our cue,” Justin took you by the elbow and started pulling you to the door. 
“Hey, we didn’t do a damn thing wrong,” you said as he dragged you along beside him. “She went fuckin’ nuts…” 
“Yeah but that’s your third beer of the night and you’re 19,” he said quickly. “Rather not get in trouble for buyin’ you booze…” 
“That’s the girl that hit ‘er!” Someone yelled. You looked up at Justin.
“Run!” Justin pulled you with him as the two of you took off, him clearing a path with you at his heels until you were in the parking lot, a handful of people on your tail. 
“Sure hope you ain’t drunk!” You said as you jumped into the passenger side of his rusted pickup. 
“Sober enough to get us outta this,” he said, turning the key and holding it until the old engine turned over with a growl. He floored it, nearly taking out the front of a sedan on his way onto the main road. 
He careened through town at 80 until the streetlights had faded in the distance and the sky was bursting with stars. 
“What the fuck was her problem?” You crawled to the middle of the bench seat and tried to get a look at his neck. “Maybe you should go to a hospital, this looks bad…” 
“I’ll just clean it up when we get back,” he waved you off. “I’m too eager to find out what kind of sex I get as your boyfriend…” 
“What?” You sat back, incredulous. 
“You called me your boyfriend back there,” he smirked. “I’m really ready to find out what that means once I’m in your bed…” 
“Oh, Jesus,” you shoved him playfully. “You got a one track mind. And you shouldn’t read too much into what I say when I’m defending myself because some psycho tried to take a chunk out of ya.” 
He winked and you rolled your eyes. 
The two of you made it back to your room without any more excitement - something you were plenty thankful for. Once you were inside, you took Justin’s plaid button down off and draped it over your worn wooden desk chair before getting out your first aid kit. You usually used it for patching up cuts when a horse did manage to throw you - a rare occurrence - or when you weren’t paying close enough attention and cut yourself on barbed wire - less rare. 
You frowned at the bite mark, the skin around it red and angry, as you cleaned it with rubbing alcohol and applied a bandage.
“This looks infected,” you said. “Really should take you to a hospital…” 
“Nah,” he waved you off. “I’ll go to a doctor in a day or two if somethin’ ain’t feelin’ right. I’m fine, Baby Doll, really.” 
He tugged you onto his lap and kissed your cheek. 
“You’re cute when you’re worryin’ though,” he smiled a little. “If I’d known all it took was some rancher’s daughter gettin’ handsy with me to get you to be all over me, callin’ me your boyfriend, I’d have done it sooner…” 
You rolled your eyes and shifted so you were less sitting on his lap and more straddling him and his hands went to your waist. 
“See if you were in a dress, this’d be easier…” 
You glared at him. 
“You’re not careful I’ll give you a matchin’ bite mark on the other side of your neck.” 
“Oh, from you, I’d welcome it,” he smiled, kissing you as he unbuttoned your shirt. 
You ground your hips down against his as he undressed you, his hands exploring you as he kissed you. Once you were bare from the waist up, he pulled you down on the bed and you crawled down his body, opening his pants and stroking his hardening length a few times before taking him in your mouth in one, swift motion. 
“Fuck, Baby Doll,” he groaned, one of his hands going to your hair. “Fuckin’ love your mouth…” 
You hummed in approval, making his legs twitch as you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down his length as his fingers dug into your scalp. You worked his cock until he pulled your head roughly away from him, panting for breath. 
“Really don’t want to come before I have a chance to properly fuck ya,” he said, grip loosening on your hair. 
“So demanding,” you teased, looping your fingers over the top of his jeans and boxers, pulling them both down his legs and leaving them on the floor. You took off your own jeans and underwear, too, and crawled up his body, leaning over him to grab a condom from your bedside table. He took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked you as your breasts hung over his face, his fingers sinking into your hips. 
He reluctantly released you when you moved back down to straddle his thighs, opening the wrapper and sliding the condom on over his thick length. You looked at him naked in front of you and rubbed two fingers through your slit, spreading the wetness that had gathered there. 
“You gettin’ wet from suckin’ me off has to be the hottest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen,” his hands slid up your legs as he watched you arrange yourself over him. 
“I’m so busy thinking about this the whole time I can’t help it,” you said, breathless, as you sank down onto him. He groaned as you did, your body slowly and surely taking all of his cock into you. Your hips met his and you ground yourself down against him, his hardness just big enough to stretch you enough to satisfy. You rode him like that, rubbing your clit as you did, his hands on your hips as you worked yourself to an orgasm on his length, coming around him with a whimper. 
He took advantage of your orgasm and grabbed you, flipping you onto your back and driving into you as you rode out the last waves of pleasure, arranging your legs so he was pressing deeper. You groaned as he started to fuck you harder, faster, the force of it making your tits bounce. 
“Love seein’ you come on my cock,” he grunted. “Love seein’ how this tight little pussy takes me…” 
He ground himself in as deep as he could reach, your body tightening around him again. 
“Fuck, I love you,” he gasped it out as he started to come deep inside you, spilling into the condom. 
Your eyes went wide and your orgasm hit - soft and subdued but not entirely put off by his words. He collapsed beside you when both of you were spent, your own slick leaking out between your legs. You stared up at the ceiling. 
“Knew boyfriend sex would be good,” he teased, a little breathless and smiling at you. 
“Yeah, about that,” you said, propping yourself up on your elbows. “What did you say at the end there?” 
He frowned. 
“I said…” and his eyes went wide. “Oh shit… I didn’t mean… I don’t expect… Look, I…” 
“Did you mean it?” You asked, brows raised. 
He flinched. 
“Maybe,” he said. “But I wasn’t plannin’ on sayin’ a damn thing about it to you, alright? So please don’t freak out about this, OK? I feel like we’re in a good place…” 
“I…” you paused. “Well I dunno if I love you yet or not but… I do like you. A lot. You’re kind of my favorite person so… I might love you a little. But just a little.” 
You shrugged and fell back down onto your back. He smiled. 
“Well, you’re my favorite person, too.” 
“Don’t read too much into it,” you smiled a little. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Baby Doll.” 
He rolled over to kiss you before getting out of bed. You frowned. 
“Gonna go rinse off,” he said. “I’m feelin’… I dunno, just off.” 
“I’m telling you, that stupid bite is infected,” you called after him as he went to shower. You waited until you heard the water turn on and got out bed yourself, getting his shirt from the chair and shrugging into it. It hung on you and you had to roll up the sleeves. You smiled a little at the physical representation of him enveloping you, the shirt smelling like his cologne with the faint smell of hay below it - a smell he never seemed to really shake. You liked it. 
You got your guitar from its stand in the corner and settled back down on the bed, tuning it briefly before just noodling on it. You’d been experimenting with a combination of chords and the rhythm you could get from tapping on the guitar body itself. 
“That’s soundin’ good,” Justin said, coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He got is boxers off the floor and stepped into them, draping the towel over the chair. 
“Thanks,” you said. “Not sure what I’m gonna do with it yet but something eventually… Feeling any better?” 
“Bit worse actually,” he frowned. “Maybe I should go back to mine, what if I’m comin’ down with somethin’. Don’t need to be gettin’ you sick, too…” 
“You were just inside me, Justin, whatever you got I’m gonna get,” you rolled your eyes. “Assuming it’s contagious and it’s not from that damn bite.” 
“She wasn’t rabid,” he teased, climbing into bed beside you. “Sure I just picked up somethin’ somewhere…” 
You put the guitar down beside the bed and curled into him, falling asleep breathing in the smell of hay on his skin. 
His twitching is what woke you up. 
“Justin,” you whispered, nudging him. He didn’t respond. “You’re dreaming, c’mon baby…” 
You gave him a shake but he didn’t wake up. You sighed and untangled yourself from him and the sheets. You grabbed your panties off the floor and ducked into the bathroom. If you were awake, you might as well pee. You did that, chugged a glass of water and went back into the bedroom. 
It was uncommonly dark, the new moon making it so there was almost no light coming in through your windows. You nudged Justin again as you tried to get under the covers. 
“Hey,” you shook him a little more firmly this time. “Baby, you’re dreaming something crazy…” 
He responded then, taking in a deep, raspy breath, his movements still sharp and jerky. 
“Justin?” You said quietly. “Hey, it’s me, it’s…” 
He shrieked, sounding like the girl at the bar and you shocked back from him, jumping away just as his fingers reached and groped for you. 
“This isn’t funny!” You yelled, stumbling over your guitar as you backed away from him. You squinted, barely able to make out his writhing in the bedsheets in the dark. “Justin, cut it the fuck out!” 
He just shrieked again before he fell to the floor with a thud, his breaths still coming in deep, rasping pants. 
“Justin?” You crept toward his side of the bed cautiously. He snarled and scrambled, on all fours, for you. 
It shocked you so much that he got ahold of your ankle, yanking you onto the ground so hard that it made your brain rattle in your skull, his fingers digging harshly into your flesh as he dragged you closer. 
You fought without really thinking about how or why or who, you just kicked as hard as you could with your free leg, catching the side of his head with your knee. He shrieked and released you and you scrambled back from him, pulling yourself up by your bed to run around to your nightstand. You yanked the middle drawer open - just below where you’d grabbed a condom just hours before to put on the man who was now bent on killing you - and pulled out your hand gun. 
“Justin!” You were crying. You almost never cried. You weren’t sure when you’d started. “Please! I don’t want to do this, please!” 
He snarled and lunged for you again and you pulled the trigger. He collapsed immediately and you screamed, fumbling to turn on the lamp on your side table. 
“Justin?” You got down on the ground next to him. You’d shot him in the chest, right by his heart. The rattling sound of his breaths were gone. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please…” 
You sobbed, instinctively trying to put his blood back inside of him. If you could just fix it, put it back together, he’d be OK, he’d wake up and be Justin again and everything would be fine. That had to be the way it worked, it was the only thing that made sense…
You barely noticed it, out of the corner of your eye. He’d pulled the bandage off his neck at some point, the violent bite mark on display and a fibrous, vine-like tendril reaching out from his throat. Reaching for you. 
You yelped and scrambled back from him, your gun still in your hand. The thing was still moving, with a mind of its own. 
“What the fuck?” You were panting for breath. His body twitched and you did the only thing you could think to do. 
You ran. 
“Help me!” You ran out front of the bunk house, gun still in your bloody hands. “Please! Help me!” 
You heard it before you saw it, the rattling breath and the inhuman snarl. Like the girl at the bar. Like Justin. 
It was Keith, one of the older ranch hands. He worked with the cattle. You’d almost never seen him so much as jog and here he was, running for you, snarling, his hands in a claw-like shape. 
“Stop!” You held up the gun. “I ain’t jokin’, I will shoot you!” 
He kept coming, the snarling getting louder. You fired, shooting him in the head by the glow of the light on the barn. He collapsed where he stood as you heard something crash against the door of one of the other rooms at the bunkhouse. Like someone was hurling their body against it, trying to break free. 
You looked around, frantic. There was only one thing you were sure of: you’d get torn apart if you stayed here. You didn’t know why, you didn’t know what caused it, but you knew you were going to die if you didn’t get away. 
You ran to the paddock where you’d been working with a horse, a filly who was just past her yearling stage. You’d been breaking her in, now that she was old enough, barely to dumb broke, just starting to carry a rider and learn commands. She was there, asleep in the grass. You jumped the fence, not wanting to risk going in the barn where there were sometimes still people, even at this hour. 
“Hey Nike,” you whispered. She roused with a whinny. You’d named her for the goddess of victory and you hoped that meant she’d help you win whatever the fuck battle was apparently happening here today. “We gotta get goin’ sweet girl…” 
You coaxed her to her feet and she shook her head, her mane bouncing. You jumped on her back and realized that you hadn’t even put on shoes or pants, you’d been in too big a hurry to get the fuck out of your room. But it wasn’t safe to go back, not now. You’d have to make do. You tucked your gun into the waistband of your panties. Nike pranced, impatient below you. 
“We’re gonna get the fuck out of here,” you said. “You and me.” 
You leaned forward and took some of her mane in each hand, one on each side of her neck. You couldn’t afford to go and get reins, you hoped this would be enough. 
“Lets see if we can make you a jumper…” 
You nudged her forward and got her moving. There was more snarling from the bunkhouse, louder now. Something must have gotten through a door… you shuddered, thinking about it. 
Once she was up to a good clip, you pointed her at the fence line and drove her to it, adjusting your weight and pulling back on her, hoping that she’d figure it out. 
She did, you barely hanging on as she sailed over the fence posts. 
“Good girl!” You said, driving her toward the woods at the edge of the property. “It’s you and me, Nike. You and me. We’re going to get through this, we’re going to get help, we’re going to get through this.” 
You said it more for you than your horse as you rode into the dark of the forest, the ranch and the bodies of the first men you ever killed behind you. 
*** 
Sunday, November 2, 2025
“Been quiet today,” Tommy said from beside Joel, the gentle crunch of the snow under the feet of their horses the only other sound on the cold air. 
Joel groaned. 
“Jesus, Tommy, why don’t you just ask for us to get swarmed by infected,” he glared at his little brother. 
“Don’t tell me you’re superstitious now, brother,” Tommy smirked a little. “You and I both know that whatever I say don’t got shit to do with anything that happens later.” 
“It will if I deck you for sayin’ stupid shit,” Joel replied. “And I ain’t superstitious, I’m just smart enough to not say somethin’ that goddamn dumb in the middle of a patrol.” 
The men were, at this point, about a four hour’s ride from Jackson, Wyoming. But they’d been taking it at a slow pace because - as Tommy had rightly and stupidly pointed out - it had been a quiet day. A quiet day in a quiet month. 
Raiders seemed to have gone dark - either hunkering down for the coming winter or migrating elsewhere. So had infected, though they knew they could put that on their migratory patterns. Stupid fungus was smart enough to know that the humans it occupied couldn’t hold up in extreme cold and that their host bodies would freeze and die if they stayed too far north during the winter. Things thinned out this time of year. 
“We should turn around and head back soon,” Tommy said. “We cut over a few miles, we’ll be able to sweep up and check a different area…” 
“You know this shit better’n me,” Joel shrugged. “Just don’t be surprised if we come up on a pocket of raiders now…” 
Tommy rolled his eyes as they rode up on a stream. He nudged his horse to follow it, cutting back toward Jackson. 
They’d only been following the path of the stream for about 20 minutes when Joel first noticed it. The sign of footprints, then blood. 
“Tommy,” he said quietly, nodding his head at it. 
“Shit,” Tommy sighed, shaking his head. 
“You said it was quiet,” Joel said, trying not to smirk at him. 
“Fuck you,” Tommy replied, steering his horse to follow the footprints. 
They didn’t have to go far, the snow growing steadily redder the further they went, until there was a body face down on the ground. 
Joel slid off his horse and crouched next to the man, checking for signs of life even though it was pretty obvious that there weren’t any. He rolled the man over. There was a sizable knife buried in the man’s chest but that’s not the thing that caught Joel’s attention. 
“Jesus Christ,” he looked up at his brother, still on horseback. “Tommy, look at this.” 
Tommy frowned, dismounting and squatting down next to Joel. 
“Oh fuck,” he said. “Was that… infected?” 
The man’s face had been nearly torn apart, nail marks like some kind of feral animal had gotten to him but they were distinctly human, little half-moon shapes dragged through his flesh that had gushed blood. He’d been alive when something - someone - got to his face.
“Ain’t ever seen one go at someone quite like this,” Joel said. “And infected don’t use knives…” 
“Maybe suicide if he got bit?” Tommy shrugged. 
Joel looked over the body and found a gun with plenty of ammo and nodded to it. 
“Well then, never mind,” Tommy frowned. “Jesus, he pissed off someone…” 
“The fuck knows who,” Joel said, looking him over more to see if he could find any signs as to where the man had come from. There were a few thick zipties in the man’s back pocket. Joel sighed and held them up for Tommy to see. “Well, probably plenty. I’m bettin’ he’s a raider, probably tryin’ to bring in someone who fought back a little harder than expected…” 
“Fuckin’ hell,” Tommy sighed, getting up again. “Grab the guns I guess, knife too. See if we can’t find who fucked him up.” 
The men mounted up again and rode on. They found another body, this one shot dead and not scratched to hell, though one look at the nails - free of blood and torn flesh - told Joel this was another raider and not who they were after. 
“Joel,” Tommy nodded at another set of tracks, starting with little drops of blood in the snow and coloring it more crimson as the path wore on. 
“Shit,” he sighed, steering his horse to follow the path. 
They didn’t need to go far. 
Ahead was a body in the snow, splayed out on the ground, splotches of red and pink around it. Joel dismounted and approached slowly. He could sense that this was different. This was who the raiders had been after. 
He moved cautiously, almost afraid to see what the raiders must have done to you if you’d done that kind of damage to them. You were bloody but he wasn’t sure the source of it from a quick glance. Your face was bruised and he could see signs of you being bound on your exposed wrist, the skin ringed in harsh and angry red. 
“Jesus,” Tommy breathed, coming up along side Joel. 
He noticed it then, the small, almost imperceptible movement of your chest. Joel tapped Tommy’s arm and nodded toward your torso. 
“Oh shit,” he said. 
Your eyes fluttered open and you took a sharp breath, struggling onto your elbows and hands, trying to drag your broken body back away from Joel and Tommy. 
“Woah!” Tommy held up his hands. “Not here to hurt you, you’re OK, we’re just gonna try to help…” 
“Fuck you,” you spat - literally, blood and spittle flying from your lips as you tried to get a full breath. “Don’t touch me!” 
“Hey,” Joel got down on your level, his hands up, and met your eyes. There was something in them that felt familiar. Something that he wanted to protect. “It’s OK. We’re not like them, those men back there. Guessin’ you killed ‘em?” 
You nodded once. Your eyes were so wide, you were so afraid. It reminded Joel of a baby deer, fragile and wild. 
“You did good, Bambi,” he said, keeping his hands where you could see them. “Fucked ‘em up real good. We’re from a settlement, few hours from here. It’s a good place, we’ve got a doctor who can help you…” 
“Can’t walk a few hours,” you said through gritted teeth. 
“I know,” Joel said, nodding to your torso. “Mind if I take a look? See where that blood’s comin’ from? I’m just gonna lift your shirt, not gonna touch you.” 
You looked at him for a moment before you gave him a stiff nod. He gingerly raised the bloody fabric - you weren’t wearing nearly enough layers to be out in this weather, just jeans, boots and a button down - and examined your stomach. There were two bullet holes there. He winced. He wasn’t a doctor but he knew getting shot in the stomach was bad. He noticed a raised scar on your hip, just below and to the left of your belly button, a branded letter M. His stomach turned. The fuck had happened to you? 
“It’s bad,” you managed. “Just shoot me, better… better than dyin’ with them.” 
“She’s right, Joel,” Tommy said, his voice low. “She’s lost a lot of blood, dragging her back to town’s just torture at this point…” 
You’d fallen back into the snow, struggling to breathe, your eyes closed. But he remembered your eyes, the warmth wrapped in something harsh and sharp. 
He realized then what they reminded him of, who you reminded him of. Tess. You were a survivor, like Tess. He hadn’t been able to save her, either. He’d failed her, too. 
“Bambi,” Joel said, just sticking with the name. He figured you’d offer your real one if you wanted to. You opened your eyes again. “Now, I’m gonna have to touch you for this but I’m gonna be as gentle as I can…” 
“Fuck you,” you winced. “Just…” 
“Not going to just let you die out here in the cold,” Joel shrugged out of his jacket and held it out to Tommy. “Gonna get you on my horse - it’s OK if you pass out, I’ll hold onto ya - and we’re gonna get you back with us.” 
“I don’t…” you began but Joel slid his arm below your legs and the other behind your ribs and he gently, slowly, lifted you into his body. You cried out in pain but he held onto you, putting you on the horse as best he could. 
“Sorry, Bambi.” You instinctively wrapped your fingers around the saddle horn as your body slumped forward and you whimpered. He mounted up behind you and held his hand out to Tommy, who handed him his coat. He draped it over your shivering frame and tugged you against him. Your head lolled back against his chest and you groaned. Your eyes were closed. He wondered if you were conscious. 
“This is damn stupid, Joel,” Tommy said, mounting his horse again. 
“Couldn’t just leave her out here,” Joel said. “You know we couldn’t.” 
Tommy sighed. 
“Let’s get back,” he said. “Maybe, by some miracle, this won’t all have been for nothin’.” 
“And you said it was a quiet day,” Joel said, starting off at a faster clip this time. 
Tommy sighed.
“Fuck you.” 
A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to Yearling! I hope you've enjoyed it so far and that you'll come to love Bambi and Joel as much as I have as I've been thinking about and planning this story for the last month or so.
You can expect updates a few times a week here as I have brain rot and really only want to write this stuff :)
I'll start a tag list, please let me know if you'd like to be added!
Thank you so so much for reading! I hope you stick around and go on this journey with me. Love you!
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toasttt11 · 4 months
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the trade
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December 23, 2024
It was Christmas Eve and the Hughes were all in Vancouver for Christmas at Quinn’s house, a tradition they have had for the last four years of Charlotte’s life to spend christmas with her.
They were all dressed slightly nicer because of Ellen and they sat down around the dinning room table to eat Christmas Eve dinner together.
Charlotte sat in her usally spot between Quinn and Luke, Jack next to Luke, Ellen and Jim across from Luke and Charlotte.
Luke ran a stressed hand through his curls for the millionth time that night, Charlotte looked up seeing her uncle looking uncomfortable, She leaned over slighty grabbing his hand gently while whispering to him, “Are you okay Uncle Lulu?”
Luke looked down at his four year old niece who was looking at him in concern and felt terrible he worried her, he smiled softly, “Don’t worry Cia i’m okay.”
Charlotte only raised an eyebrow knowing he’s lying, “Daddy’s says not to lie.” She gave him a stern look she has picked up from Ellen.
Luke couldn’t help but let out a laugh at how much his niece just acted like his mother.
The rest of the table looked over at the two, “Everything okay over there sweethearts?” Ellen looked between the youngests ones with a smile.
Luke went to nod but saw the look Charlotte, he took a deep breath, “Actually theres something i’ve been meaning to tell all of you.”
He looked between his family nervously.
Ellen saw how nervous Luke was and couldn’t help but frown wondering what’s wrong.
Jack looked at Luke in concern, “What’s wrong Lukey?”
Luke took a breath squeezing Charlottes hand before blurting out, “I’m not resigning with the Devils.”
The room froze slighty at the words.
“What!” Jack exclaimed knowing the Devils still want Luke so what does he mean he isn’t resigning.
“I got another offer.” Luke explained his eyes focused on his plate not wanting to the faces of his family, keeping a firm grip on his nieces hand.
“Where?” Quinn softly asked seeing how nervous his little brother was and how his daughter was gently holding his hand.
Luke took a hesitant look towards Jack before muttering, “Vancouver.”
“What was that?” Jim asked having barely heard any sound come from Luke.
Charlotte looked up with wide eyes towards her uncle when she head that and tried to keep the smile off her face.
Luke cleared his throat looking up from his plate, “Vancouver.” Quinn eyes widen slighty looking at his brother with shock.
Ellen smiled slighty, Jim nodded his head thinking about the whole thing.
Jack pursed his lips hating to think his little brother won’t be on his team anymore, he absolutely loves having Luke with him, “Vancouver?”
Luke looked at Jack not being able to tell how Jack was feeling about this, “I was going to resign with the Devils it was always my plan but a few months ago i got a offer for the Canucks and honestly there gonna pay me more but i also want to be in Charlotte’s life everyday, i hate missing her milestones and i want to be closer to her.” Luke finished explained looking down at his favorite person, she was grinning up at him.
Quinn felt his face soften when he realized his brother wanted to trade teams so he can see his niece more.
Jack could feel himself understand, He absolutely adores Charlotte with very thing in him but he doesn’t know if he could ever leave the Devils, having been apart of the Devils family for so long now but he is glad that Luke can and will be able to be close to Charlotte.
“I think that’s great honey.” Ellen smiled glad Charlotte will have more family by her and she knows Jack has made a family in his team so she doesn’t have to worry too much about him.
“Well we will be glad to have you moose.” Quinn smiled looking at his little brother, “And you room is more than open for you when you move.” Quinn having had rooms for all his family in his house when he moved into in 2020.
Luke looked hopefully to Quinn, “I could stay here?”
Quinn fondly chuckled, “Of course you can. Do you really think Charlotte would let you live anywhere else?” Quinn knew his daughter will be very happy to see Luke everyday.
“Yup you’re saying here Uncle LuLu.” Charlotte grinned while nodding.
Luke slowly smiled, Jack patted his little brother on the shoulder sending Luke a smile and nod not being mad Luke was trading, of course he was a little sad he won’t have his brother on his team anymore but Jack is also glad that Quinn will be able to have a brother on his team.
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