#this time last year i was posting one of my earliest xf fics. and i was doing it to try to establish myself

[mchalowitz]

the process by which time passes

REPOST. you guys. @lilydalexf is the true mvp of this saga. she happened to have the story still open and was kind enough to send it to me. i owe her so much gratitude (as well as the other amazing xf bloggers that reached out to me). although i don’t interact much socially around here, it is amazing to be a part of a fandom that is so kind and supportive! writing xf fic is a creative outlet i enjoy so much and i love sharing it. now back to our regularly scheduled reading. (also if you guys wouldn’t mind boosting this new version so i can see the feedback, i would be so grateful.)

this is something i’ve been writing (at this point) for probably almost a year, which is one reason i’ve been pretty quiet on the fic-posting front. i’m so excited for everyone to finally see it but terrified at the idea that it’s not just an idea that only i know about anymore. it was originally the back half of a wip i abandoned but i couldn’t let this part go. enjoy!!

Mulder gives her a tight hug on the side of a desert highway. Scully presses her forehead to his chest, hoping her thoughts might leave her mind, reach his heart, and convince him to stay. He still gets in the SUV and she never sees him again.

In true Fox Mulder fashion, his physical presence isn’t needed to be a constant reminder. Government officials that she once exchanged pleasantries with at the coffee machine bang down her door and rip apart the life he abandoned.

“Have you heard anything?”

Skinner rifles through papers until the door clicks shut. Her badge feels heavy on her lapel. It feels wrong to be here.

“Only the official warrant,” Skinner answers. That was weeks ago. She has to frequently remind herself that he is doing the best he can. He can’t make it too obvious he’s interested in the hunt. She certainly can’t go digging herself.

“They’re closing the X-files,” he informs her. “There is an appeal process…”

“That’s not necessary,” Scully interrupts. “My assignment was to assess the validity of Mulder’s investigations. There is nothing to assess.”

“You believe in the work.”

“I’m a scientist,” she reminds him, offering nothing else.

Her final report is a jumble of words that states, no matter what she believed, the X-Files should never be reopened.

–

Scully spends idle days breathing in wet air on her mother’s porch. She hopes the sea might soothe her.

A week later, as she plans her return to Washington, she decides emphatically that it did not.

She discovers heart medication in her mother’s bathroom cabinet. Maggie attempts to downplay the circumstances, “It was a blip on a screen, Dana. The doctor said it was just precautionary,” but to Scully, it’s a call to action.

It isn’t difficult to resign. It seemed like it should, after giving the FBI almost a decade of herself, and much, much more than that.

She cries silently in her car after handing over the keys to her dream apartment and saying goodbye to her meticulously curated life.

She reminds herself starting over is the only way to move on. But she isn’t sure she believes it.

–

Scully is a seasoned Special Agent of the FBI, an instructor of pathology, but she struggles to call herself a doctor. After an onslaught of rejected resumes, she begins to believe the medical community of Maryland agrees.

A small hospital outside Baltimore is wowed by her determination alone. At the bottom of the ladder, no one knows the reputation of Agent Scully. She showed promise and expertise in her role, even if her partner was a kook. Dr. Scully has never formally practiced medicine and her bedside manner leaves something to be desired.

Scully hopes for an opening in pathology, where she might be more understood. John From Human Resources hums along with her plight. “I’ll keep an eye out,” he promises.

She begins noticing him behind her in the cafeteria line. On a fall day, she is trying to decide on the best fruit cup when he sides up to her. He is whisper-quiet, conspiratorial in tone when he says, “I wanted to give you a heads up that Dr. Harris may be retiring at the end of the year.”

The may sounds more like an is. A weight inside her lifts.

John assures her she is the first choice when the position officially becomes available. When he leads her to her new office in January, he asks her out to drinks to celebrate, and Scully is surprised, because she forgot people could see her that way.

John is completely unlike anyone else she’s been with. He is endlessly dependable. She never has to worry about where he is because he calls when he’ll be late. He thrives on a fastidious routine and makes safe, informed decisions.

Scully finally moves out of her mother’s house and into a modern three-bedroom she purchases with John. She leads an entirely new life. She climbs the ranks in pathology and is still able to go on real dates, and eat home cooked meals while they’re still hot, and sit in the pew every Sunday. She goes on weekend hikes and uninterrupted trips to the coast and has fine, but not life changing, sex. She accepts John’s proposal on the beach with a beautiful ring.

They have a small wedding. She doesn’t take his last name.

John tries so hard, never asks about her time in the FBI, even tries to adopt a child with her. When it falls through at the last minute, they decide on a dog instead. They get divorced after two years.

In her office one late morning, the phone on her desk lights up. “Dr. Scully, there’s a man on line one asking for you.”

“Thank you,” she says into the speaker. She picks up the receiver with the assumption of a request for a consult. “This is Dr. Scully.”

“Hey, Scully, it’s me.”

She drops the phone.

–

Scully’s stomach is in knots. She is too nervous to order any food. Mulder sits across from her at a diner, looking older and scruffier, and she wonders if this is all a cruel hallucination.

“Where have you been?”

His fingers tap nervously on the table. “Farrs Corner.”

After exploring little towns in the far reaches of nowhere, she remembers that’s Virginia. When she presses for how long, she discovers he’s been within driving distance almost this entire time. Her fingers clench. She wants to strangle him.

“It’s been six years, Mulder. Why now?”

“The FBI dropped the charges against me. I helped them with a case, they wiped the slate clean. I can start my life again, Scully, come back.”

Forget strangle, Scully wants to kill him. He thinks he can just come back? His ignorance to the domino effect of his actions has to be purposeful.

There was a life they wanted to live together that never had the chance to become a reality. She has spent six years trying to fill her life with meaning. Her marriage failed, her career path faltered. They have a child that is no longer theirs.

Scully stands from the booth. She stares down at him, asserts her power.

“I thought you were dead.”

He just nods. He suggests she give him a call, now that she has his number.

She doesn’t.

–

Scully always forgave Mulder too quickly; it was their fatal flaw. She frequently ignored this piece of common knowledge by justifying his more unsavory behavior as residual childhood trauma, or a severe lack of social skills, or plainly being obtuse.

She never found a way to justify him leaving her when she needed him without looking like an emotionally manipulated moron. How could she possibly forgive the embarrassment and isolation she felt after giving up her own child for ostensibly no reason?

Scully bared her soul to him, her body, and gave him everything she had, and she still took a backseat to his quest. There was a brief time where she thought something finally switched in him and the quest would take a backseat to her. In the earliest days of the millenium, working their way up from something undefined to something real.

A month passes. She speaks to no one about her meeting with Mulder, but when she has idle moments, it fills her mind. She tries to remain hot when she begins wondering what Mulder’s life is like now. She attempts to imagine how he filled six years worth of time, because he was never a picture of duality, never able to separate his life from his work, and what can he do after leaving it behind?

It’s a slow burning curiosity. Weeks long. She begins to think he didn’t push during their last meeting because he knew it would happen like this.

She scrolls through recent calls to find the number he left on her office phone. Scully hears the hello in that familiar voice and doesn’t hesitate to respond, “Mulder, it’s me.”

–

Scully sees a dream realized when she pulls up to a little house with a spacious porch on sprawling land. Mulder never liked the city.

He is clearly thrilled to finally present his vegetable garden and his paintings while giving her the grand tour. He recounts putting in the new water heater himself and his plans to replace the roof next spring.

Mulder makes her pasta and gives her the “good chair.” When her stomach is full, they talk about old times. She hasn’t talked about these things in years because she knew there was no one else that can laugh about what she saw instead of instantly recoiling except for the man sitting across from her.

“I have to get back,” she realizes when she sees the sun beginning to set out the window. They spent almost the whole day together. He nods in understanding.

“You see I’m not living in squalor,” he jokes as he walks her to her car.

“It certainly wasn’t the dilapidated hut I was expecting,” she teases. Her tone shifts from silly to serious. “You know, Mulder, after our last meeting, I really didn’t want to come here. I thought…I think you know what I thought. But I’m glad I came.”

“I appreciate any chance you’ll give me, Scully,” he replies.

–

Farrs Corner becomes a regular destination.

Mulder easily becomes the companion she was lacking, the return of the best friend she lost. Even with the passage of time, he still knows her better than anyone else.

She stops offering up her free Friday nights for on-call autopsies and tox screens to watch movies with take-out picked up just before civilization ends.

Without a Saturday shift to spoil their fun, they indulge in the full six pack of their favorite beer. His feet are propped on the coffee table next to their abandoned pizza box, as she folds her legs underneath her on the cushion beside him. She is full-bellied and warm.

“I can’t believe you were married,” he says in disbelief, taking a swig from his bottle. “Considering how many of my proposals you turned down.”

“Maybe I would’ve accepted if any of them had been serious.”

“So you’re saying there was a chance?”

She laughs and nudges his shoulder with the side of her bottle.

When she catches his eye, she sees a person that, yes, she thought she might marry someday. When she was younger, less hard, and had never seen the face of a child that was half him, half her.

She leans forward and presses her lips to his, jerking back as soon as he begins to respond. She tries to find something to say, a reasoning, but she finds his curious gaze, and can’t think of anything to say.

He closes the distance between them and starts where she left off. His kiss is wonderful. It’s hopeful and sexy as all hell.

He nudges her jaw aside with his chin, his mouth seeking out her neck. Her fingers tangle in his hair. “Let’s go upstairs,” he suggests.

–

Standing at the foot of his bed, Scully realizes she’s never been in Mulder’s bedroom before. He has simple furnishings; dark wood and soft blues. His belt clunks when it hits the floor. His bare chest warms her back.

She remembers his warmth, his proclivity to be so tender and gentle, and to let her lead the way. She turns and guides him onto the bed.

Modest kisses quickly turn unrestrained. He breaths in long pants as he shoves her panties down her thighs, letting her kick them over her ankle before hooking them over his hips.

He slips in so easily. Scully explores his changed body; the shifting muscles in his back, his thinner, sweat dampened hair against her hands, his ass clenching as he rocks into her.

Electricity runs through her when his fingers drift to her clit, taking her right to the edge. “Fuck,” he groans, his lips at her ear. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

She moans in utter bliss, deliriously overtaken. When she comes, she shatters. Mulder thrusts two, three times more, before following behind. He spurts hotly into her with growls of satisfaction.

Breathing heavily, they lay bonelessly on their backs. She feels the sweat cooling at her hairline. Her lips break into a big smile and a laugh leaves her lips. His follows and he raises her hand to his lips, feeling his joyous puffs of air against her skin.

“We are still very good at that,” she decides, turning her head toward him.

“You did always bring out the best in me,” he agrees.

Scully finds his boyish nerves when he mentions spending the night charmingly endearing. She wordlessly moves to press herself into his side, clinging to him in answer.

–

Mulder calls their connection cosmic, though Scully doesn’t believe in cosmicity. An otherworldly connect would trivialize their effort so far in their new era.

She worried how they would assimilate into each other’s worlds without the commonality of what easily linked them before. While their forced separation may never be seen as a positive in her eyes, it did allow for the growth to be content in domesticity.

Scully adores the version of Mulder she met over two decades ago. With his unwavering desire for truth and his absolutely brilliant mind. The hours they can spend talking remind her of that man often. They spar as they always did, laugh like no time has passed.

She delights in the side of him that is at peace with the mundane. He likes filling her drawers with clean scrubs, and working in the yard until he returns smelling like freshly cut grass, and giving her drafts of his paranormal mystery novel.

Uncensored honesty is their biggest challenge. It would be so easy to never discuss what plagued them in the past. They finally get to air their fear, their guilt, and their grief. Scully thinks she and Mulder come out better on the other side.

Mulder leads her to the quiet corners of the world, using his freedom to finally venture off his little property. They luxuriate in the Bahamas shortly after their first night together and they start stopping at all the roadside attractions they used to skip. He plans to finally take her to England and show her all the off beaten paths from his youth. She would go anywhere with him.

A beach house in Maine is this weekend’s activity. Scully accidentally leaves her stack of reading on the desk in her office. “I’ll grab them quick and we’ll go,” she promises him, hanging onto the open passenger side window.

“Don’t leave the coast waiting too long,” he teases. “I’m starting to lose my island glow.” She rolls her eyes at him and pushes up on her toes to kiss him briefly.

Though she promises to be quick, Scully still signs into her computer. She printed out the newest articles hastily before an autopsy and notices now that the first ten pages of the article on top are missing. She finds herself drawn to begin reading when she goes to reprint. She pulls out her chair with blind arms, sitting down absently.

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been gone until she sees Mulder enter. “I was starting to think you’d fallen in,” he jokes.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. He brushes off her apology with a wave of his hand, rounding the desk to brace his hand on the back of her chair.

“What are you reading?” he asks.

Case 43-2009. 8-year-old with Brain Scan Abnormalities Presents Potentially Unseen Neurological Disorder.

She breaks her gaze at the screen to bring her eyes up to Mulder.

“We need to find our son.”

#x files #xf fic #fox mulder #dana scully #msr

[xfilesnews]

FanWorks Wednesdays - how-i-met-your-mulder

by Keva Andersen

One of the things I love about The X-Files fandom is that even after all these years we continue to welcome new fans into the fold. And these young fans bring fresh enthusiasm and new ideas and share those gifts with us “old timers.” There are episodes of the show that are older than this week’s author but don’t let that fool you. Meet @how-i-met-your-mulder! Also known as skuls on A03, she has a body of work that’s impressive for any author, let alone one who is relatively new to the show.

If you’ve ever wondered how you would do in a situation in your past if you knew the future, here’s your chance to watch Mulder and Scully navigate that. “Half-Light” goes AU just after “Home Again” when a shooting transports Mulder and Scully back to 1993. It’s a great ride through different times and universes that keeps you guessing.

And if like me you’re dying to see if Mulder and Scully are reunited with William in Season 11, “Polaroid” is just the thing you need. The uneasy navigation of two families and how William adjusts is a great read.

The X-Files Rewatch Series is a great companion to your own rewatch, and explores the scenes we didn’t see during the episodes we’re so familiar with. In this world, Mulder and Scully finally get to take in that football game, for instance.

We talked with how-i-met-your-mulder about inspiration, writing, and of course, The X-Files.

How long have you been a Phile?

Coming up on two years in late October! I actually remember the exact date that I started the show because it was also the day of a wedding I was in. I started watching the show on Netflix the morning of, and I found the fandom online a few weeks later. Those first few seasons remain a vivid and amazing experience in my memory.

What was your first episode?

The Pilot.

How long have you been writing fic?

Since January 2016. I'd had a few ideas for fic prior to that, but I'd always been too afraid to write them down. Actually, several of my earliest fics are still unpublished and stored in my docs.

What inspired you to start writing?

I actually had the idea that would turn into “Half-Light” back in December of 2015. That was the idea that made me want to start writing fic, but all I could get down from it was a few sentences, so I chickened out of writing more for the time being. Later on, I had the idea for the first fic I actually wrote down (which ended up being incorporated into “The Unspeakable Fear of Things”): an alternate version of IWTB if Emily had lived. I could hear the voice of Emily so clearly that I wanted to sit down and try to get some of it on paper. I ended up writing feverishly for two days, and having so much fun with it that I was determined to keep writing.

Who is your favorite XF character to write?

I write mostly Mulder and Scully (who are both super fun to write about), but I also love writing from the perspective of various side characters. I don't know if I have a specific favorite... Mulder's fun to write because I like incorporating his sarcasm and such into the narrative. But it usually depends on the story I'm telling, where it feels like one narrator fits more so than another.

Are there any XF characters you dislike or find too difficult to write?

I've been working on a story from CSM's perspective that's been really hard. It's hard to really examine his side of things because a lot of his actions contradict each other, and he's pretty mysterious on top of that. I have a lot of trouble with Teena Mulder and Diana Fowley, because they're both really complex characters with questionable feelings or alliances.

Is there a story you're most proud of or that's a favorite?

Probably “Half-Light,” because apart from being my oldest fic idea, the rewrite is also the second longest thing I've ever written. I've always had so, so much fun writing it, and I always miss working on it, even after rewriting the entire thing.

Where can people find your work, and what's the best way to send feedback?

I post everything on Tumblr, but I'm also on AO3 under the handle "skuls". I appreciate feedback in any form. My inbox on AO3 and Tumblr is always open, and I also check the tags on reblogs. People are so, so sweet in the feedback they send, and I'm incredibly grateful for all of it.

Do you take fic prompts from fans?

Of course! I love writing prompts, especially when I'm blocked on all ideas. I usually take prompts on Tumblr.

Have you written your own original characters outside of fandom?

I do! I've actually been writing original stuff a lot longer than fic, since I was about 7 or 8. It's been a dream of mine to get published for a long time. I actually wrote an entire book last year, a mystery about a small-town group of kids digging into a disappearance from 30 years ago.

Anything you’d like to share about your writing process?

I'll write almost anywhere, usually on my phone. I've written in quiet moments at school before, on the couch while the TV is on, in my room alone with all the lights off... I usually try to get things down as soon as possible when they come to me because I don't want to forget the way they sounded or looked in my head. I remember one time I was called down to watch a storefront one time in the middle of writing “The Progression (And Regression) Of First Names,” and since I didn't want to stop, I grabbed a notebook and started scribbling even though I never write longhand.

Do you have a favorite author? (fanfic or published!)

All the fanfic writers I've read are absolutely amazing, and I'm so so grateful for what they do. Some of my favorite published authors include Gillian Flynn, Margaret Atwood, J.K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Laurie Halse Anderson, John Green, and Stephen King.

Is there any advice you'd give to aspiring writers?

Read and write as much as you can. Reading helps you to pick up on things like style, vocabulary, description, character development, plot, inspiration and ideas in general. Pay attention to how others write and find techniques you like, but also look for ways to make your writing unique and give things a distinct voice. Write as much as possible to help build on these skills. Someone once told me that you will never reach your peak in writing--you're always improving, growing, building skill. As long as you keep reading and writing, you will always be getting stronger as a writer.

Anything else you'd like to share that I missed?

Just that I'm incredibly grateful to both The X-Files and the fandom. I feel like writing fic has helped to improve my writing incredibly, and the amazing support from the fandom has helped as well. Thanks to everyone for reading and showing your support!

Thanks to how-i-met-your-mulder for talking with us!

Is there an author you think should be on our radar? Message us here or hit us up on twitter!

#FanWorks Wednesdays #XFN #fanfiction #fanfic #The X-Files #XFiles