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#this show will not leave me for a very very long time. and we still have part 2!!!
dameronology · 17 hours
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we can't be friends (steve rogers)
summary: based on we can't be friends by ariana grande
warnings: angst, swearing
sorry for being absent for six months. even more sorry that this is what i came back with. enjoy!
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Being loved by Steve Rogers was like sunlight on a stormy day. Peaking through the clouds, encouraging you to come out of whatever shelter you'd chosen; letting you smell the fresh rain on the pavement as the light finally came through, taking back the water until next time. It was warm on your skin, right through to your bones and your heart and to your very soul. You could have basked in it forever.
The mornings were your favourite, waking up to golden alabaster skin, carved into his muscles. They were slightly scarred, with jagged pink marks of stab wounds and bullet skims and far too many near misses for you to be comfortable. Of course, he healed faster than most but when you were as trigger happy as Steve Rogers was, barely a mission went by when he didn't come home with some minor wound or another. Still, him being there was the most important part. He'd let out a sleepy little yawn and subconsciously roll over to hold you, taking him in his arms and pulling you to his chest. That was where you felt safest.
No matter how busy he was or how demanding work became, Steve always showed up. Flowers waiting for you on the counter after a bad day; ordering take out when you were ill and always making sure your favourite show was recorded on the DVR. You never even had to ask. He'd buy you new roses before your old ones had even began to wilt; had your busiest work days recorded in your phone calendar so that he could step up, even when his own job was pulling him across the country. That was the thing about Steve Rogers: he always showed up.
Until he didn't.
Being loved by Steve Rogers was like sunlight on a rainy day, but waiting for him to love you back was a never-ending storm. Rain pelting down, hammering onto your clothes and seeping through to your skin and your bones and eventually drowning your heart. There was no dry escape. No shelter to hide from the rain. You always felt it - the wet, the cold, the shivering - no matter how hard you tried to escape. There was no getaway from the realisation that he no longer loved you back, or from the 19 miscalled waiting on his phone, or from the dead roses wilted on your kitchen windowsill.
Long conversations about your future had turned into silent, screaming pauses. The arguments felt pointless. You could only beat a dead horse so many times before you realised it wasn't coming back to life.
You sat on opposite ends of the sofa now. Slept on different sides of the bed. Watched your favourite show in silence whilst he tapped away at his laptop, barely even bothered by your presence. He'd sat too a high standard for himself. It was one he couldn't keep, but even the bare minimum was a golden standard compared to what he was giving you these days.
"I'm done."
You'd surprised yourself more than anyone with the words. Steve had come home from work late again. The fourth time that week, twelfth time that month and countless times overall. You'd made dinner. It was cold now, like the stony expression on his face and the watery one on yours.
"What?"
Steve glanced up from his phone, brow furrowed.
"I'm done," you said.
"With what?"
You sighed deeply, regathering yourself for a moment. Pushed down the lump in your throat, shoulders raised to try and show whatever tatters of your pride you had left.
"I'm leaving you," you said. "I can't...I don't want to sit around and wait for you to love me again."
Steve put his phone down, pausing for a moment. It looked like he was going to say something...maybe anything. Even though your mind was made up, part of you wanted him to beg. To get on his knees, take your hands and plead for your heart back. God knows that this time a year ago, he would have pleaded with you in person and with writing in the sky.
Instead, he just sniffed.
He sniffed, and you left. Keys to your shared apartment thrown into the dish on the side, never to be taken again. At least the Lego heart keys chain you had together would be together again - you know, when he was actually home.
Whatever time you had previously put into your relationship, you now put into yourself. Found a nice little loft on the other side of the river - it felt like the wrong side, but everything felt wrong without him - and decorated it with everything but photos of you together. There was a nice rug, and a beautiful sofa, and your marble counters were a nice welcome home.
Still, the bed felt cold. Not as cold as it had when he'd lovelessly laid beside you, but still. Cold. It felt strange only having one tooth brush in the holder, and only one bottle of shower gel on the edge of your bath. The toilet seat was always down now (Steve had had only one flaw, and that was it) and you always tripped over the shoes that you left by the door because he no longer tidied them away.
It felt like half your heart was missing, but eventually it grew back.
You forgot about Steve, and the Avengers, and that entire world until Natasha Romanoff texted you. It had been six months since your break-up by that point, and even though you missed them all dearly, it had been natural for Steve to get them in the break-up. You had your friends. He had his. But, it was nice that Natasha still thought of you.
Hey, hope you're doing well. I'm having my birthday party next week at my apartment. 7pm, same building as always. It would be nice if you came. Steve may or may not be but he's been annoying lately so I'd rather have you. Let me know <3
At first, it had been an immediate no. Then you thought about it some more, and it was a definitive no. Then, you found yourself calling Nat and talking for three hours straight.
Apparently Morgan was in her One Direction era, and had thrown an hour long tantrum when she found out they weren't together anymore. Pepper and Tony had tried to pay for a reunion, but they weren't interested. Bruce was doing an assignment in France and Clint and his family had moved a little closer to the city. Sam and Bucky were still working for the government and naturally, that had brought Natasha onto the subject of Steve.
Doing better. That's what she said. Apparently he wasn't working as late anymore and he'd cut down his hours. He was going to therapy, drinking less and working out more. She'd lingered on the last sentence, but ended it with he's more like your Steve again.
That made you want to go to the party even less, and yet the following weekend you found yourself stood outside Natasha's high-rise apartment building at 7:35PM. You'd put more effort into your appearance than usual; a more expensive fragrance, spent a little longer on your hair and worn the outfit Steve had always thought you looked best in. Maybe it was a calculated move, but you'd never been all that good at maths.
Your entrance was met with four or five hugs. Natasha looked amazing as ever, and Bucky was brighter now. Tony was elated to see you and you didn't ask about Pepper's little baby bump, but you could see it was there. Your mind was kept too occupied by all them to even think about Steve.
That - naturally - all came crashing down when you saw him across the room. He was leant against a pillar, hair longer now but fluffed up and a 5 o'clock shadow gathered on his chin. Not like the man with long hair and a beard that you'd left, but not quite the squeaky clean looking Steve you'd fallen in love with either. Still though, it was closer. He was showing through the cracks.
The question of whether or not you would approach him answered itself, because you blinked and suddenly he was stood in front of you.
"I owe you an apology."
Straight to the fucking chase.
You faltered slightly, but didn't let it show. "Yeah, I think you do."
Steve glanced around you at all your friends - naturally, they were all staring at you. They might have been superheroes but that didn't stop them being nosey fuckers.
"Let's go to the roof," he said. "I mean...if you want. You don't owe me anything."
You nodded your head. "Let's go to the roof."
The climb up the stairs to Natasha's terrace was awkward, but not as bad as the silence that quickly filled the cold air as soon as you got up there. Steve might have been one of the bravest men you'd ever met, but vulnerability scared the shit out of him. You suspected that was the case now.
"So?" you asked. "What could you possibly have to say?"
"I'll only say that I'm sorry once," Steve began. "So: I'm sorry. For pushing you out, for not trying, for letting work consume me. Even more for the fact I didn't even try to stop you leaving, because as soon as you shut the door, all I wanted to do was run after you, but I'm not stupid. I knew your mind was made up."
"Where are you going with this?"
"You leaving was like a bucket of cold water," he continued. "It made me realise a lot of things - about how much I'd left myself go, mostly. I've stopped drinking and started going to therapy, and I have my work hours capped."
You smiled. "Well done, Steve. That's really great."
"I'm better now. Not fully, but...I'm getting there," Steve replied. "I asked Natasha to invite you tonight. She wanted to anyways but it was sort of my idea."
"Why?"
"So I could apologise, but mostly because I want you back in my life," he explained. "As friends, as something more. Hell, I'll take you as my enemy if it means I get to see you again."
You sighed, eyes falling to the ground. What could you even say to that? Enemies sounded pretty good - and definitely well deserved - but you didn't hate Steve. You'd moved on, but that didn't mean you'd lost all capability to love him.
"How do I know you won't do it again?" you asked.
"You don't," he replied. "I don't know that either, but what if it doesn't happen again? What if...what if things were really good?"
You glanced away, eyes staring at the distant Manhattan skyline for a moment. It glittered and glimmered, mostly rebuilt after the 2012 incident. You could see Stark Tower as well. Steve had told you he loved you for the first time on that roof top. Now, here he was, begging for you back on another.
"Friends," you muttered. "We can be friends. I don't know after that. I've waited six fucking months for you to decide that you love me again-"
" - I never stopped -"
" - not the point, Steve!" you cut him off. "We'll start with friends, then go from there."
"I'll wait ten years if I have to," he said. His smile suggested he was joking, but you knew he wasn't.
With that, Steve pulled you into a hug. In your soul, you knew you couldn't be friends. Enemies was worst but strangers was horrible too. The answer was inevitable, but you just had to make him wait a little while.
maybe a part 2?
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iikeuz · 3 days
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⋆ ☄︎. ·˚ * 🔭 STARRY EYES SPARKING UP ME DARKEST NIGHTS ࿐
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⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫ You have a panic attack while promoting your solo and Seungmin helps you through it.
★☆! pairing: idol!seungmin x idol!fem!reader
★☆! warnings: descriptions of panic attacks & social anxiety. reader is a bit apprehensive about seungmin initially. mentions of criminal minds(?). mentions of hate / cyber bullying. very fluffy. open ending (part two?????)
★☆! word count: 2.4k
vivi speaks !! the way i started working on this in december of 2022 😭😭 but i’ve finally finished it, so who cares. let me know if u guys want a part 2 :), maybe i can finish it before i finish college hehe.
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It’s bad. 
Like truly bad. 
This is not your first time at such event. Having debuted a while ago, you slowly got used to award shows, especially with the help of your members who are always there for you. 
Maybe that’s the issue.
You never had to make an acceptance speech, never had to be the center of attention, always letting your members take care of that — they’ve always gone above and beyond to make you comfortable during these events anyways. So now that you’re alone for the first time in what feels like ages, you simply don’t know what to do.
The anxiety mixed with the fear of embarrassing yourself in front of everyone was what led you to your current situation. Alone in a dark hallway you bite your lips as strongly as you can to stop the tears from falling and ruining your makeup — you still have to perform after all. Your head is so fuzzy that, even though you’re sitting down, you feel like you’re about to fall at any given moment, and you swear you can feel your skeleton shaking inside of you.
Your palms are sweating, but the sensation you have is that all blood stopped running in your veins. Your breath is erratic and the oxygen burns your lungs, your heart beating so fast you can feel it hitting against your rib cages, the blood running through your ears louder than your thoughts. 
As we established earlier, things are not looking good for you right now. 
You don’t even know how long you’ve been there — it could be minutes, seconds, hours. At your current state of mind, years could’ve passed and you wouldn't have noticed a change in the weather.
As matter of fact, you didn’t even notice the hallway lights turning on, let alone the person that lit them.
“Oh shit!” They cursed lowly, taken by surprise by the zombie-like girl sitting on the floor.
While they cautiously scan the body in search of any sign of life, your eyes finally pick up on the sudden clarity. Shooting your head up at an incredible speed, your eyes meet with a slightly scared Kim Seungmin.
Your slowler-than-usual brain takes a moment to kick in, finally warning you that you should get your shit together — especially in front of your senior —, and so you do, getting up way faster than expected. Your vision goes completely black for a second or two, making you bow lower than intended.
“Hello.” You greet him, your vision still not completely back as your upper body goes up once again. 
Trying to find some kind of stability, you reach for the nearest wall to lean against. Scared that you might fall and hurt yourself, Seungmin runs to you, firmly grabbing both your shoulders before pulling your waist, stabilizing your dizzy self against his chest. 
In any other scenario you would probably push him away and call him a creep, but now you reserve yourself to accept the help without second guessing his true intentions. 
“Woah! Calm down,” His voice is still low, not much higher than a whisper, “Are you okay? Do you need something?”
Once your vision goes back to normal you separate yourself from the boy, who reluctantly lets you go, not leaving too much space between the two of you just in case. 
Averting his gaze, you try to fix your eye makeup to look a little more presentable. “Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I just-” You stop yourself for a moment, your brain cells working extra-hour to come up with something to say. A pathetic “I’m fine,” is the best you can manage to do.
“You don’t seem fine to me.”
“Well, you’re wrong. I am fine.” You immediately bite back, sounding way more defensive than intended, instant regret kicking in for being such a bitch to someone who was just trying to help. “i’m sorry…” you whisper.
Seungmin, on the other hand, didn’t seem offended one bit by your hostility, no. He was way more focused on finding out what was going on. 
Trying to make you feel more comfortable, he was quick to change the subject. “Aren’t you, uh…” He stops, waiting for you to introduce yourself to him.
As your foggy mind goes into autopilot once again, you bow for a second time, formally introducing yourself and your group for him. 
Seungmin can’t help but chuckle at your excess of formality. “There is no need for all of this, we’re basically the same age.” 
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” 
And so, the small talk dies silent. 
You force yourself to come up with something to say, but nothing comes to mind. What are you even supposed to say in a moment like this? It’s not like the two of you had ever talked before. Yeah, some of your members are close to the Stray Kids’ boys, it’s true, but you personally never really talked to anyone outside your own label — screw it, you’ve barely talked to anyone outside your own group. 
As if the situation couldn’t get any worse, your palms start to sweat again, the fear of having another panic attack in front of Seungmin becoming a trigger to you. Sharp nails scratching against the skin of your thumb.
The boy picks up quickly on what’s happening, bringing your attention to him once again. “Hey,” He straightened himself, taking a couple steps past you, near the end of the corridor, “wanna see something cool?”
Not wanting to be rude, you nod. And so he kept going, with you right behind him (well, not exactly right behind, since there was so much your trembling legs could do right now; still, you felt like you weren’t going that slow — even though it took you 30 extra seconds to get to the end of that 2 meters corridor).  
When you got there, you noticed that there was only a big metal door with a handwritten ‘Authorized People Only’ sign taped to it. You were about to ask him if this was the right place when Seungmin opened said door.
“No one comes here, don’t worry.” He explained.
Holding the door with one arm, he motions for you to go in. 
Obviously, if you were in your right mind, this whole thing would be the biggest red flag ever (a man you don’t know being weirdly touchy with you and then inviting you to go to a secluded area where “no one goes to”? You’ve watched way too many real crime videos to fall for that), but since you’re not in the best of your judgment at the moment, you obey his orders without thinking twice. 
Your friends know him, what’s the worst that can happen? 
Looking around a bit, you couldn’t be less interested. The room seemed like a technical room, filled with tangled wires connected to some sort of power walls. Is this Seungmin’s definition of a “cool place”? If so, that’s pretty anticlimactic.  
“What is this place?” You ask as the door behind you closes by itself, making a heavy sound, the room immediately becoming pitch black.
Seungmin turns on his flashlight, the position making the bright light hit you right in the eyes; you wince in discomfort, covering your face. “Sorry,” He repositions the cellphone, pointing to the floor instead of your face, “This is just a wire room, for some lights and special effects,” He shrugs, moving the cellphone around like he searched for something. 
“Hmm,” You nod, looking around once again. “So… what are we doing here?” 
“Oh, this is not the cool place, silly,” He laughs. Pointing the flashlight to his right, you follow the light’s path, surprised as you notice the emergency stair at the wall, “it’s up there.” 
Seungmin gets closer to the stairs, you follow him. He takes a moment to decide if it was better for you or him to climb first, opting to have you staring at his ass instead of the contrary. And so he puts his cellphone in his pocket and goes, as you blindly follow him once again, struggling to climb in your stage outfit. 
At the top, he pushes the trapdoor open and climbs in, helping you to do the same. Once you stabilize your boots on the floor, you take a moment to look around. You’re at the rooftop, as you expected. The cold air of the early winter hits you like a train, making you hug yourself by instinct as shivers run through your body, the tiny, sleeveless dress you’re using doing absolutely nothing to help. Looking up at the sky you can actually see a couple stars here and there. 
“Wow! It’s beautiful,” You say under your breath. 
Seungmin, who was already looking at you, can’t help but notice how your eyes shine just as bright as the stars. Taking his denim jacket off he places it on your shoulders, using the proximity to guide you closer to the edge. Looking down, you can barely see the people walking on the streets, they all look so tiny from here, like the world below you is just a model; a colony of ants.
So tiny, so delicate.
It really makes you wonder how such delicate species can be so mean. So terrifying. So heartless. The things you’ve seen, you’ve read, you’ve heard; they couldn’t possibly have come from them, could it? After what felt like a life of being submitted to so much inhumanity, you start to question what “being a human” truly means. 
If it’s the ability to feel empathy for others that separates us from the other species, what will be left of us if it’s all gone?
When your grip on the metal bar tightens, Seungmin decides it is time to intervene. “I was listening to your song on my way here,” Seungmin admits, “well, it was Felix who put in on the car’s speaker, but you know. I really liked it.”
Your head spins at him, your gazes meeting for a second before you avert it. “Oh, uh, thanks. It was my first time writing- I mean, not my first time, I’ve written things before, but I never felt like it was good enough. I always thought I was better at composing rather than writing, you know?! But this time it was just… I don’t know. I had this idea in my mind, and the words kept coming so I wrote them down and, well, the rest is history.” You shrug, beating yourself mentally for talking too much. 
“I really like your writing style. It’s very unique, just like you.” His attempt at flirting makes you laugh for the first time that night, and when Seungmin hears your shy giggles turn into a full laugh, he can’t help but laugh too. “Yah, why are you laughing?!” He pretended to be offended. 
“You’re so corny.”
“I’m not corny, I’m romantic.”
Romantic? You can’t lie, that pulled at your heart strings a bit. 
Still, you roll your eyes at him, trying to convey annoyance, your smiley face totally giving you away, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Romeo.”
“Oh c’mon, it was pretty smooth, at least give me that!”
“Alright, alright. It was pretty smooth, I admit,” You threw your hands in the air, defeated. 
You turned around in your heels, back pressed against the railing. “So, how’d you find out about this place?!” 
“I’m just nosy.” He shrugged. 
“Oh yeah, I believe that.” 
Seungmin scoffed. “I saw the ‘authorized people only’ sign and came in.” 
“You were coming here when you… found me?” 
“Yes.”
“Any reason why..?” 
“You’re also very nosy, aren’t you missy?!” 
You laugh, giving the boy besides you a playful slap.
Seungmin laughed too, averting his gaze, “I just like coming here before a performance. Helps unwind the tension. It’s kind of a ritual of mine at this point.” 
You nodded. This time, the silence that formed between you two was comfortable. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the moment, without worrying so much about, well, everything. 
Seungmin didn’t say anything either. 
You two stayed like this for a while, just enjoying the cold breeze hitting you two. You wondered if he was cold like you, and you even thought of offering his jacket back, but it was just so warm (and it smelled so good). 
After a minute or two (more like several), you opened your eyes again, lookin at your side where Seungmin stood. He leaned over the rails, hands clasped together as he looked up at the sky. 
There were no direct lights up here, so it was up to the moon to provide some light for you two. As you look at Seungmin, you notice the way his eyes reflect the moonlight. It was like he held a moon in each of his pupils, only for him, like some sort of mystical being. A kind of God who has moons for eyes and the kindest heart. 
God what am I thinking?
You shook your head, laughing at yourself. The melodic sound of your laugh perked his attention, his head turning to you, his smile mimicking yours. 
“What?” He asked. 
You looked back at him, shaking your head. For the first time that night, the two of you held eye contact for more than a couple seconds. 
“I think I should get going…” You say. There is a hint of sadness in your voice, your eyes never leaving his. “My manager probably already called the cops the second she saw I wasn’t in the dressing room.” 
Seungmin nodded, his expression turning down. He didn’t say anything. You wondered if you should say something, but decided against it. 
It wasn’t until you were already halfway through the roof that you turned back, running back towards Seungmin, who was now resting against the railing watching you go. When you got to him, you wrapped your arms around his waist in a tight hug, catching him by surprise. 
When the shock wore off, he engulfed your much smaller figure in his arms, and you hoped he couldn’t feel your giant smile against him. 
“Thank you, Seungmin.” 
“Y- You’re welcome.” 
You let go of him, really leaving this time around. 
As you climbed the stairs back down still wearing his jacket, your heart was pounding again, but now for totally different reasons. And your mind couldn’t help but wonder if this was the start of a great friendship, or perhaps something more was to come out of it…
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temis-de-leon · 15 hours
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Demon Brothers as Single Fathers
What if the brothers already had a kid when MC first appeared in the Devildom?
Characters: demon brothers, gn! kid and gn! MC
Masterlist
CW: lesson 16, death during childbirth mentioned, but there's nothing explicit. Some brothers are better fathers than others, but they all love their kid with a passion. Romantic interest towards MC at the end
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Lucifer
There´s no way he’s having a kid with a random woman. I already posted a headcanon regarding demonic pregnancies, stating them as difficult, so my guess here is that he had a long-term relationship and his partner died during childbirth.
Of course, he’d cope with her death just like he coped with Lilith’s: hiding his feelings. He had his sister’s room hidden in the House of Lamentation without any of his brothers knowing, so it makes sense that he’d hide everything regarding his former partner from everyone, including his child.
Now, don’t get me wrong, he loves that kid, but he is who he is. A strict parent that wants his family to be perfect, obedient and loyal to Lord Diavolo. His child might get an obvious special treatment, but they still have to reach their father’s standards.
All of that, mixed with the load of paperwork he has to take care of on the daily, makes bonding time very limited.
When MC arrives, he makes sure they know not to bother the kid, his threats visible to anyone with eyes.
We know MC, however. They meddle and they become friends with most of the brothers very easily, so it’s understandable that the kid wants to get close to them too.
Lucifer tries really hard to break that friendship, not trusting MC at all, but the more effort he puts in that task, the more effort his kid puts in disobeying him. And we all know Satan is helping them just to anger Lucifer.
It all reaches an end when MC frees Belphie from the attic.
The kid doesn’t understand the situation, why their new friend is all bruised and bloody on the floor and why their uncle is laughing in such evil way.
Lucifer only gets how much his kid loves the human when he sees their distraught over MC’s death and their tears of relief when MC reappears in perfect conditions.
Time passes and the family is whole again, granting the kid a new feeling of happiness and comfort they’ve never felt before. Lucifer feels obligated to rethink the situation when he sees that.
Then comes the last day of MC’s stay at the Devildom and he knows he’ll regret not showing his desire of deepening their relationship before they leave.
His kid and his brothers are not the only ones that need MC anymore.
Mammon
I kind of imagine him having a child with a one-night stand, to be honest. For the sake of this fic, the other parent is not in the picture, but Mammon loves kids, so there’s no doubt he’d keep his own.
And oh, how much he spoils them. He saves money just for them. Does he go right back into bankruptcy after that? Yes, but the intention is there, you know.
I also think the brothers would use the child to blackmail him, like “you’re such a scumbag, Mammon, you’re going to disappoint the kid”. A dick move, but they are assholes to Mammon most of the time.
And then comes MC, rocking Mammon’s world and, by extent, the child’s.
No matter how old the kid is, they can sense their father’s love towards the human. It’s almost painful to see and it brings so much second hand embarrassment, but Mammon’s happiness makes everything worth it.
Especially when MC starts to defend Mammon from his brothers’ insults.
The kid promotes themselves from child to matchmaker. 
They spoil their uncles' plans with MC so they can spend time with their father, boasting Mammon’s confidence and telling MC how good he is and how good of a couple they’d make.
At first MC thinks it’s pure childhood innocence, not suspecting the kid is acting on ulterior motives, but Mammon knows what his kid is doing.
He tries to defend his status as too good to be interested in a mere human, let alone date them. Of course, the child sees right through his bullshit.
No one stands a chance against his little hellspawn, not even him.
Suffice to say, MC and Mammon establish their relationship long before the year ends.
Leviathan
I love Levi, I truly do, but c’mon guys. I doubt he has any friends outside the online world, let alone a partner; we can all agree he’s a virgin. So, for him to have a child, I think he would’ve had to be either really lucky or unlucky (depending on how you see it), meaning that his brothers took him out of his comfort zone so he could lose his virginity and he left that one girl pregnant.
I think the mother wouldn’t have wanted to be in a relationship with him, leaving him more reclusive than ever. He needed his brothers’ help to lose his virginity and now not even the mother of his child wanted to stay with him? Yeah, he’s not leaving his room ever again.
It’s difficult for him to bond with the kid at the beginning due to the lack of knowledge on how to take care of a child and the kid being born out of a loveless meaningless one-night stand.
He watches and buys anything family-related, finally understanding that the way he became a father doesn’t have to influence their relationship, so he steps up really quick.
Don’t worry, the brothers offer their help the whole time.
They spend most of the time in his room, bonding over anime, manga, videogames and cosplay, especially about TSL. He also forces himself to get out of his room more often for the sake of his kid, even if it’s minimal.
He still distrusts MC when they arrive, not paying them any attention, but he has to reconsider a little bit when he sees the kid so interested in them.
The whole TSL quiz happens and he’s surprised to see not only Mammon and Beel helped MC, but his child too. He feels betrayed and irrationally mad at all of them for an hour or less, just until the kid insists on MC’s genuine interest on TSL and convinces him to give them a chance.
After that, their friendship develops quicker than anyone could've ever anticipated, as well as Levi’s crush on MC.
Another kid that evolves into a matchmaker, although their methods are more dramatic due to being based on anime and manga.
The rest of the brothers have a lot of fun witnessing the whole thing.
Satan
My man has contacts, he knows people all around the kingdom, he fucks. I’m not sure if the child came out of a long-term relationship or a one-night stand, but his contacts definitely have something to do with it.
His whole mission is to treat his child better than Lucifer ever treated him.
No baby voice at all, what nonsense is that? When he reads to them at night he uses different voices according to each character, same as when they play.
The type of parent that wants to respect his kid so much he kind of treats them like an adult. Full conversations and everything. More like monologues, actually, but Satan is patient enough to wait for his kid’s answer, even if it’s a babble.
Cats everywhere. Toys, clothes, bedsheets… You know the drill.
Overall, Satan puts his whole heart into his child’s development.
And when MC arrives, he’s only curious about them because Lucifer is on edge. He’d prefer if his child was left to their own devices, living their life in peace with no human bothering them for no reason.
Then he swaps bodies with Lucifer.
Boy oh boy.
The moment he sees his child running to his brother instead of him, he’s spitting fire. MC intervenes just when the kid starts to get scared, something he’s extremely grateful for.
After the pact is made, both him and the kid see MC in a completely different light, but he doesn’t think about taking them out on a date until his child trips and falls while playing in the garden.
MC tends to them, dries their tears and cleans their bloody knees before using some cute bandaids on them. Cat-themed bandaids.
How could he say no to that?
Asmodeus
One-night stand one-night stand one-night stand one-night stand.
One-night stand? YES.
I’m surprise he doesn’t have a legion of children, Hercules style, but oh well, what do I know.
I like to think the mother tried to stay, but Asmo is a certified narcissist who loves spending time with himself and who’d also love the idea of having a mini him running around, ready to try new clothes on every opportunity and match him.
It’d be difficult to stay in a family like that, with a partner that monopolizes the child’s time so selfishly. It’s bad, but I could understand if the mother chose to leave. I don’t even know if Asmo would care, given that it was a one-night stand with no feelings involved, and he’d probably believe himself to be enough.
Asmo is as dirty minded as ever and he still has various relationships, but he tries to tone down really hard, at least in front of his kid.
They’re partners in crime above all, their chemistry is insane. ‘Don’t talk to me or my son ever again’ type of relationship.
Although the kid doesn’t have Asmo’s charming powers, they’re cunning. Doe eyed with a shiny glare and a brilliant smile, who could say no to them? Sometimes they even fool their own father.
Both of them are pretty superficial, but kind-hearted at the bottom of their hearts. It just takes some time and effort to see that.
The kid treats MC the same way Asmo does, although they have no ill intent, they just want to be like their father. So when Asmo starts to show some interest in MC, pursuing a friendship, so does his child.
Partners in crime, remember? It doesn’t take long for the child to act coy and cute, turning MC’s interest to Asmo. Again, no charm nor manipulation, but a little help from an innocent hand never hurts anyone, does it?
Beelzebub
I don’t have a single idea where the child came from, but if there’s something I’m sure of it’s that they’re each other’s best friend.
Beel takes them everywhere, in his arms, strapped to his chest or sitting on his shoulders, he doesn’t care, but they’re together all the time.
Scared to his very core of losing them, but tries not to be overbearing, trusting his brothers to take care of them when he can’t, mostly Lucifer and Belphie.
They're the most important reason to control himself, Beel feels guilty when he lets loose and scares his child. Seeing your father eat a column can’t be pleasant, after all.
Another one that ignores MC when they get there, preferring spending time with his child. Now more than ever, since Belphie apparently went to the human realm as an exchange student.
When he breaks MC’s wall and they’re forced to share his room, he’s introduced to the dilemma of whether letting them sleep in Belphie’s bed while he shares his own with his kid or letting them sleep in his bed, with his kid in Belphie’s and him on the floor.
He’s very reluctant to let anyone but his twin sleep in the other bed. His nightmares lessen when he shares his space with the child as well, so Beel’s very conflicted.
MC offers to be the one sleeping on the floor, something he immediately refuses, so he finally agrees to let them both sleep in his bed while he’s on the floor.
He doesn’t sleep that night.
It isn’t until MC defends him from his own brother that he starts to think of them as a true friend. He trusts them with his kid and he even feels okay leaving them alone while he’s out doing his own things.
Days after MC goes back to sleeping in their room, his child confides in him how much they miss having the human with them and Beel can’t help but agree.
He asks for his child’s permission before taking MC out on a date.
Belphegor
Had the child with a situationship, but the mother thought he would be too absent to be a good father. She tried to leave with the kid, but Belphie insisted on keeping them. Being one of the Avatars of the Devildom, he had the upper hand.
As much as he tries to be present, he can’t help but fall asleep most of the day, so Beel takes the role of second father. Still, Belphie wants to be in the same room as his kid all the time, even when unconscious.
He’s able to enter other people’s dreams, so his favourite way of bonding is at night, interrupting his child’s nightmares and transforming them into beautiful dreams where they can do whatever they want to do.
He even made versions of Lilith and Beel for them to be together during those dreams.
Kind of entitled, to be honest.
Belphie is a brat and so is his kid, but the child at least has the benefit of the doubt.
When Lucifer imprisons him he’s ready to destroy the house. The only way he can talk to his kid now is through dreams and even then he isn’t sure what to tell them. In the end he decides to let the kid be, but he’s always on edge, trapped, not knowing what’s happening until everyone goes to bed.
MC’s presence feels like a gift. A pathetic gift, but a gift nonetheless.
He asks about his kid and he seethes when MC tells him they’re becoming friends, how much they like spending time with the child.
He focuses so much on revenge that he doesn’t even realize what the kid could think of him if he carried along with his plans; how they could feel when all of it is done.
Killing MC is satisfying and leaves him wanting so much more.
That look from his child, his own blood, takes it all away.
Why are they crying? Why are they hiding away from him? Trying to reach MC’s corpse despite Lucifer’s words or Beel’s grabbing hands, screaming in terror when uncle Mammon doesn’t answer their questions.
Then MC reappears, looking as perfect as ever, and Belphie is overwhelmed with relief, convinced that maybe his kid will stop looking at him that way.
But that doesn’t happen.
He sleeps with Beel that night, feeling lonelier than ever, hands aching and reaching for a smaller body that isn't there. He can’t find them in their dreams when he falls asleep and when morning arrives and he goes to the bathroom, he makes sure there’s no blood under his fingernails.
It takes days before his kid can even look at him without that angry pout on their face. They tell him they’ve been sleeping with MC, listening to their advice so they can mend their relationship with him.
Ever since then, Belphie can’t help but blush whenever MC is in the room.
.
.
.
Tagging: @deepestartisanhumanoidshark
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pokestudentjune · 2 days
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Hello all! My name is June (she/her) and I am a university student from Hoenn, majoring in pokemon biology and horticulture! I'm currently traveling in order to gain as much knowledge as possible thanks to a scholarship from my uni. I hope to maybe make it as a pokemon professor-- and if not, perhaps open up my own plant + grass type conservatory!
In all honesty I'm pretty new to this whole rotomblr stuff, and I'm not all to osure how to work it that well.. But I'd still like someplace to document my life and experiences, as well as share my knowledge about pokemon and plants! Got plenty of cute pics of my pokemon and the ones I meet as well! Please feel free to reach out with asks about myself, my pokemon, or anything in general-- I'll do my best to answer to the best of my ability :)
Here is my current travel team!
Lotus the Ivsaur
Modest, highly persistent. A water lotus variant Ivysaur with a water/grass typing, and practically my soulmate. My first officially owned pokemon, gotten from my grandmothers venusaur as a child. Lotus has grown and matured with me through the years, and is always looking out for me! Shes trained in battle and performance, but we have since retired from coordinating and she'd rather sit back and experience life as it comes.
Scout the Lopunny
Sassy, likes to fight. One of my first wild-caught pokemon, and both me and Lotus's best friend. Shes quite a fan of my more feminine interests, often asking to share my clothes and music. Shes definitely one of my more battle + performance savvy pokemon, and we're working on learning mega evolution together! She wears a light blue letterman jacket I bought for her once, she wanted to dress similarly to an idol group we saw online once!
Grim the Joltik
Jolly, very finicky. Another pokemon caught when I was younger, he is literally the sweetest little baby ever. He was an unexpected capture, having hopped onto my phone one day and refusing to leave. He loves to suck out the battery life from practically my devices which drives me insane, but I wouldnt trade him for the world. Despite being small for the past few years, I think he doesnt want to evolve which is fine by me! I think he enjoys riding on my head or shoulder.
Jasper the Typhlosion
Rash, quick to fight. A large, bulky, fluffy, shiny typhlosion with a scar across his muzzle. Rescued from a "backyard zoo" situation, it took a long long time to fully gain his trust, but it was worth it. Hes very standoffish but protective of me and the team. Lotus was a big help in calming him during the beginning, and now he enjoys battling to blow off some steam.
Harlequin the Banette
Quirky, impetuous and silly. Perhaps my first ever pokemon friend. We met when I was a small child and he was still a shuppet. Its a bit of a long story, but he stuck through with me during some negative times within my early years even as a wild pokemon, and would frequently visit to keep me entertained through the years. I didn't catch him for many years, but one day after being a trainer for a while, I asked him if he'd like to join my team and has stuck around since. He wears a chunky bandana on his neck thats practically the size of him.
Jade the Noivern
Adamant, alert to sounds. One of the newer additions to the group, i had caught her within a cave and she showed fighting spirit right off the bat. I took the time to train her in between my studies and she evolved into a speed demon. She absolutely LOVES flying and I myself had always wanted to ride on a flying pokemons back, so its a win-win. She looks up to Jasper, and they often spar together.
I have plenty of other pokemon back at home that I'll introduce when the time comes, but these are the ones I think are best suited to help me during my studies! Perhaps I'll switch around the team, maybe I wont. It takes a while to transfer pokemon across regions but who knows where life will take me!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
// OOC
Hello hello! Just like June, I am very unfamilliar with tumblr as its been years since I last used it, but I've been religiously stalking rotomblr for years now and i figured its my time to make a blog! Heres a few things about how I'll be running this blog :3
• This will be a mix of anime and game, keeping it semi realistic as I love biology and science but still want to keep some magic from the pokemon games included!
• June is basically a self insert so no weird stuff!
•For Junes universe, fakemon, sentient pokemon, or pokemon/human hybrids or anything similar to that doesnt exist-- again, I'm keeping it a bit semi realistic. Pokemon crossbreeds are fine though!
• This is very casual!! Just for fun slice of life blog :3
• In this world, legendaries are gods and greatly affect the environment, so June may not interact with those who "own" legendaries because she greatly frowns upon messing with the natural order of things.
• Feel free to dm me or send me asks ! I'd love to get to know the community more :)
• Also i might not do many fully pieces and more colored sketches because I am very busy irl unfortunately
• Im okay with interactions from other OCs and canon characters !
• Pelliper Mail is : OPEN
• Magic Anon is : CLOSED
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hella1975 · 6 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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mastersoftheair · 13 days
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Sorry but am I the only one that thought that episode…sucked? Like it was straight up bad. Horrible pacing, no wrap up of all the random characters and plot lines they’ve thrown around all season (the tuskegee airmen, Westgates spying, literally all the guys beside like the main 4). (Seriously it makes me so mad that the three redtails got all of 5 seconds of screen time, almost no lines. Literally what was the point of introducing them other than to pretend the show was iNcLuSiVe) Even at the end of BoB and the Pacific you get a much better idea of what happened to all the remaining guys. In this they’re like what happened to DeMarco or Hambone or Brady or (insert character here) we don’t know! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The concentration camp scene felt shoehorned in compared to how it was done in BoB. Unless that actually happened to Rosie (which i haven’t heard anything about) but it was just like.. ok? It all felt so rushed and emotionless to me. Maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with MoTA but it’s been downhill for me since episode 6 or so.
i already made a little (read: long) post-finale write-up here, where i talk about the use of the tuskegee airmen, l'sandra, and overall editing/pacing issues i felt the show had. but i don't agree with the notion that adding the redtails was in any way insincere or trying to halfass being "iNcLuSiVe", i just think they suffer from this show's obvious time constraints. and to summarize what i wrote in my linked post, there's a limit to what white writers/directors/producers can do when creating a story about black people. there are some stories i'd feel uncomfortable with them telling on their own, truth be told. dee rees wasn't the sole nonwhite director, but she Was the only black one. i think she did her job well given the limitations and i appreciate that they let her direct those episodes, rather than leaving it up to a team of white people trying their best to tell a black story.
the worst i can say about the finale is that it didn't feel like That strong of finale, tho i wouldn't go as far to say it "sucked" or call it "straight up bad". i liked it plenty, it's just the weakest of the hbo war finales imo.
as for the concentration camp scene, artistic license was taken with both shows. unlike what's seen in the BoB, easy company wasn't the first to arrive at kaufering, and there's 0 mention of the all-japanese american 552nd who helped them liberate it). similarly, rosie rosenthal did assist in liberating those camps, though it would've been after the events shown this episode. idk if he saw one in that up-close way seen in this episode, but he could've (i should research this when i have time). plus, it would've felt weird Not having him acknowledge them at all. "shoe-horned" is an odd term to use here imo, as both scenes more-or-less center a jewish character (BoB's liebgott and MotA's rosie). the former show has survivors the characters can help, the latter shows no one left to help. the former has all of easy company there, the latter has rosie there all alone. rosie's scene felt deeply personal in that way. at the end of the day, both scenes are communicating different things. that doesn't make one better than the other when they aren't trying to be identical. (disclaimer, i'm not jewish, so i'd be interesting hearing from the perspective of someone who wrt whether or not they felt it was "shoe-horned")
i can understand if you've disliked the show post-episode 6 (and episode 6 was a very strong episode i'm ngl). eps 7 and 8 were weaker in many ways, even to me, so i get it. everyone's entitled to their own opinion (i'd be a hypocrite saying otherwise). just understand that this blog is run by someone who overall enjoys this show despite its flaws! basically, i encourage you to take this energy and make your own posts.
#masters of the air#hbo war#e9#asks#long post#masters of the air spoilers#mota spoilers#all the hbo war finales are different. i don't think MotA's is as strong but like#my fav hbo war show is still BoB and even Then i don't think it has a better finale than TP. and i dislike a lot of TP! like A Lot!#and Even Then we don't get a good idea about what happens to a lot of the minor-er characters in TP once they leave#anyone who isn't sledge or leckie (rip basilone) is hand-waved-'they went home'-away#not every show needs a sandlot ending w/ a voiceover going:#'[NAME] got really into the [INSERT DECADE] and no one ever saw him again' like they did to webster (rip webster)#and again! i'm mixed about the redtails. but i can Very Clearly See this show getting released without including them#which wouldve left many people (justifiably!) upset that they weren't shown when they were Literally there in the same pow camp#i'll give the hbo war team a lot of shit about a lot of things (despite the enduringly positive energy i try to keep up here)#but i Have to give MotA props for Trying. i don't see faux inclusion i just see it as not quite hitting the mark but an attempt was made#and i think that's worth Something given neither BoB or TP bothered trying#(like i think there was a missed opportunity in TP not mentioning what's happening to japanese americans on the home front)#this got away from me (i'm also opinionated) but while i can agree with you about how the show feels rushed#i do take issue with the idea that they were pretending to be inclusive. i'll blame money time and covid19 before i blame bad intention#maybe that's controversial here but it Is my blog. so.
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snoozu · 16 days
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IMGONHSTHROWUPpt1iguess
#folks shall we talk about snoozus situationship?#lets talk about mo snoozu’s situationship#looonnggg ago way back in the summer. my dnd group met for maybe the third or fourth time before all the Boys went home#n our friends do a thing called ‘proper goodbyes’ where if someone is leaving it must be announced to the group or the host or whoever.#usually hugs are involved bc Friendship <3#ANYWAY.#on this night i gave a hug to. okay i need a code name#Raven boy. sure#and i was a good hug okay. so i said! man! you give the best hugs ! haha thank u laughs blah blah blah#everyone leaves#my ROOMMATE. and COUSIN . randomly throws out ‘i think you and him should date’ like right before we go to bed and im just like ‘huh???’#and they just go nothing goodnight! like okay.#fast forward? two months? him and i are very silly together. we joke around a lot and a LOT of the time end up saying the same thing at the#same time. its fun whatever. at this point for me its like yeah i could see it but im Me so i cant really do anything about it#bc i don’t Know know. yknow?#halloween night me n the roomies go to dinner all dressed up and i start complaining about dating apps and the people on there. i say sm a#along the lines of ‘why can’t i just meet someone the old fashioned way. where we’re friends for so long we just realize one day that we#be married.’ tO WHICH COUSIN ROOMIE ONCE AGAIN SAYS. I THINK YOU SHOULD DATE RAVEN BOY#so i go! 😳😳😳 whaaaaaaat….. and shes like ‘you guys are silly together!!’ and lm like okay great well now i get to panic about this dynamic#we actually start texting a lot thru november. and one day im talking about school to him and how its stressing me out#and hes like. i like to go on walks or hikes when im stressed. if you want i could show you my favorite spot#and then IM PANICKING. so AT FIRST im like noway abort abort abort haha actually i really need to finish my assignments :(#and then i think about it. and im like. why not tho. so then i text him back actually yeah lets go. and we go on a hike and its awesome and#fun and beautiful and we just talked. and then he takes me home and is like can i use ur bathroom real quick and im like sure but im NERVOUS#bc my roommates are clearly home and they’re going tonsee him and KNOW#and thats EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS. so they’re all oohooohoo you wanna talk about it and im like no!!!!! shut up!!! leave me alone !!!!!#anWAY. more talking. over thanksgiving break. not much over christmas break bc it was kinda a Moment for me. so dec-#*dec-jan we’re both kinda radio silence a little bit. and im like. probably wasnt a thing then. whatever we’re still good friends#and then. reader. we’re still good friends. absolutely charmingly good friends.#i started my own campaign in january and before the first session another one of the Boys needed a ride to and from an interview so i gave
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selkiecoded · 2 years
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hm. okay someone said something on twitter that got me thinking. okay i am very firmly a yoohan truther supporter lover all that stuff. and i think there are many situations in which they can be and will be together in some shape or form, without kdj. coming to mind instantly are the three year gap, 1865th round, and 1863rd round. prime yoohan material. but at the same time i think these situations are sort of haunted by kdjs absence, and/or really set up to fail. yoohan are people who work well together in achieving a shared goal, for better or for worse. like with 1863 - which would have the least amount of kdj influence - they are pretty much on a path of mutual destruction, hastened by one another. all of these situations, in which theyre working together for some reason or another, it never feels like they can bridge in to anything really vulnerable, you know? i love yoohan on its own, and i do think they can get shit done on their own, but at the same time, kdj coheres them in a way i dont think they can really achieve without him being there. do these words strung together like this make any sort of sense.
#throwing spaghetti on the wall. the haunting specter of kdj can he LEAVE?#thinking abt 1863 yh is like. ohhh they are the worst. i have stuff half written and itd end w hsy clutching yjhs shirt like.#let me just more or less copy paste it in the tags hold on#'I asked the Outer God‚' she snarls‚ clutching hi shirt. 'I asked him‚ 'Does YJH want to die?' He said yes‚ yes you do. But everyone with#half a fucking brain knows not to trust an outer god not to rip happiness out of your hands‚ so I'm asking you now‚ you bastard: do you#want to die?'#She's breathing heavy by the time she finishes‚ not from exertion‚ but from pure‚ desperate anger. She stops for a minute and just pants‚#staring down at the ground‚ her fingers still curled around the collar of his coat. But‚ unexpectedly‚ a hand wraps around her own‚ gently.#When she looks up‚ YJH is staring both at her‚ and through her. 'You can show me the end of this world.' It's not a question‚ but she#answers it anyways. 'Of course I can‚ you asshole. Are you doubting me?' The darkness is his eyes‚ just on the edge of hollow‚ is#absolutely beautiful. His jaw works‚ and he goes‚ 'I want to die.' HSY stops and breathes in and out‚ very slowly. She licks her lips‚ her#throat dry‚ and brings her free hand higher to the side of YJH's face. 'Well‚ okay‚' she says after a long moment. 'Then you and I have a#lot of work to do.'#end scene. and in my head thats where it ends completely. itd sorta be them in the very beginning like sort of figuring each other out.#like i have a couple of half-scenes written in like the theater dungeon or discussing mia or hsy proving herself or whatever. and like you#can see the yoohan in waves hand all that but its like. the tension or whatever? of trusting the other to help achieve your shared goal#but like the shared goal is . what if we were planning our mutual permanent death. and we were both girls.#i think hsy would get sealed too? thats what i got i stopped at that part in my reread bc of school. i hope you die. i hope we both die.#geez. chill out man. whyd i type all that. well if youre reading this i hope you liked the wip ill finish it eventually ehhh.#also working on jihye&kdj fic ive mentioned a few fimes. and uhh general 49 stuff on and off cuz he cursed my brain#sorry sorry wow#orv
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astrxealis · 1 year
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i think it's interesting you can tell how people are like deep down by small things they do
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#like. if they use fonts#like 'aesthetic' fonts! it says they like pretty stuff sure but also that they don't know or don't care that#it isn't accessible for people with reading devices and stuff like that :') bcs those will read out literal math shit#it's a small thing but shows how ignorant some people are and i can't blame them at all bcs for a long time i used to use#aesthetic fonts like that. but for a while now i haven't as well and aurhrubedhej#but yeah perfectly understandable if they don't know but if they do it still even with the knowledge. i would definitely rather not#interact with someone like that. :')#i love to read people and all and tbh i probably know more about some people than they think bcs . yeah#it also shows how scary the internet is. please stay safe.#i have easily found some people's twitter accounts and it is so easy. i just do it out of curiosity and i don't have any malicious intent#at all but someone out there could and god if you overshare there is so much to learn so for the love of god be careful#but yeah! really interesting all of this ... how humans work :'O#the way we all have our different stuff that makes up who we are and how they're shaped by our experiences but also our dna#and how each book or passage or whatever we read leaves a marks on us. everything does#and how our brains differ and neuroscience and neuropsychology is. i don't know much abt it yet but god it is so interesting#- i am a very philosophical person interested in psychology and other related topics ever since i was a little kid - ><#it's interesting bcs . i really was like this ever since i was a kid and i would love to read more into Whyz#bcs i would look at rhe news as the kid and bad news made me so SAD. i still remember vividly sitting on the couch#and where the tv was and my parents. there was a girl who got... yeah#and it really opened my eyes to how fucking shit the world is. i was not even 10 years old by that time i think#and i think about that moment a lot even now whenever i rmbr it bcs it was. really important#in how i'm now hugely concerned about those kinds of things and really want to make the world a better place#honestly it annoys me when others don't care about the world but at least i'm happy with who i am! ><#it's interesting tho fr how i was. probably 'meant' to be like this in a way#and other kids out there just don't give a fuck and... i wonder why. what's different about us. in how we were made and shaped and raised?#ff/x being one of my memorable games in my childhood really shaped me and my outlook of religion and helped me be more open about my views#on family. kh being a really memorable thing abt my childhood despite me never properly playing past the island#but i still remember how i would always pick up that game again and again and years later when i got kh/3 despite not having played any#other games properly. i knew that this was my childhood. and playing thru that game was so amazing despite me literally
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lesalut · 2 years
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tag drop characters part 1 /
`  [ ♡ ] : // ame-chan.   ⁞ holding you like an angel‚ your very own 2D girl. ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // pascal.   ⁞ o’ raven‚ lend me your eyes‚ show me my fate so that i may survive.◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // yoosung.   ⁞ call me never‚ leave no voicemails‚ how can i be sure you’re still around?◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // orion.   ⁞ lift up your eyes‚ child‚ you are home.◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // alois.   ⁞ butterfly‚ flicker‚ soar to the top‚ the heavens are repenting for you tonight.◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // kazunari.   ⁞ he is eros and he is apollo‚ with a boy like that it’s serious.   ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // sakuya.   ⁞ as long as we keep smiling, good things are sure to come. ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // muku.   ⁞ ever, ever after, fairytale endings coming true. ◞ 
`  [ ♡ ] : // taichi.   ⁞ i’ll continue to struggle so i can smile tomorrow. ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // napoleon cake.   ⁞ sight be sharp and aim be true‚ singing up he’ll rise til the morning.  ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // pizza.   ⁞ so take my hand and we will march to the front lines‚ i want to fight for love.    ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // turkey.   ⁞ somewhere it is always time for tea. ◞
`  [ ♡ ] : // frankenstein.   ⁞ you’ll be the poison‚ you’ll be the cure. ◞
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considering the manor is completely massive and the only person who spends more than a few consecutive hours there at a time is probably Alfred, i think it would be funny if after the pit, Jason decides after everything he's been through that he can't be bothered to do the whole revenge thing, or sort out safe houses or get an apartment and instead just decides to kill the joker himself and just... secretly go home.
like, as long as he kept an ear out to make sure he wasn't eating in the dining room when Bruce comes down, he could probably get away with walking around without ever being caught. Alfred would find out, i assume, but i think knowing how complicated Jasons emotions towards Bruce are right now, he'd keep it quiet and just be happy that the one other person he trusts to leave alone in the kitchen is finally back. And then, of course, there's the kids.
Damian knew from the beginning. Not because he's especially observant, but because this is his big brother from the league and the first night he spent at the manor Jason crawled through his window in full Red Hood gear and told him not to snitch. Considering that in the league Jason once snuck up behind Ra's and shaved a strip of hair off the back of his head, Damian decides there's far stupider shit the guy could be doing and leaves it be.
Tim finds out next. admittedly, the only reason he finds out is because Jason thought he knew and just stopped attempting to avoid him. in reality, what happened was Tim, having not slept for three days and living off nothing but spite and coffee, accidentally walked in on Jason cooking in the middle of the night, and immediately wrote it off as a hallucination. Jason, seeing Tim find him in the manor and not react badly, decided that 'oh, the replacement must just be chill i guess' and mentally pencilled him in as another person in the building that he can be seen by. it came to a head when a few days later Damian was forced by Jason to invite Tim out with them on their weekly 'eat junk food and talk shit about the rest of the family' outings, since he was a part of the group now. Tim cries.
Dick only finds out because Tim and Damian keep forgetting that Jason isn't supposed to be talked about in public. there comes a point where Tim rips Dick's favourite sweater and when Dick confronts him about it, Tim panics and blurts out 'it wasn't me, must have been jason!', and upon seeing Dick's face, Damian smacks him and grumbles 'good job Drake, now we have to show him Todd or he'll cry again.'. Jason is not overly happy when he sneaks through his bedroom window after going out as Red Hood and finds a sobbing Dick sat on his bed, Tim staring at the ground looking very ashamed while Damian straight face points at Tim to make it clear that this was Not His Fault.
after realising literally everyone in the house sans Bruce knows he's there, Jason decides to just. stop hiding. the fact is that he wasn't trying that hard in the first place, and Bruce still didn't have a clue, so he kinda wants to see how long it takes the 'world's greatest detective' to realise his dead kid is just. back.
so he stops hiding. starts showing up for family meals, starts being more friendly with the bats as Red Hood, and they all wait to see what finally tips Bruce off.
they forget how fucking stupid this man can be.
because if Jason had gone up to Bruce and done some sort of dramatic or emotional reveal then sure, Bruce would be shocked. he'd freak out. but the fact is that Bruce has both Batman and Brucie Wayne to keep up with. He's barely paying attention to his own feet while walking, let alone the people around him.
so when Jason starts showing up and acting like nothings changed, and literally nobody else in the house acts like anything's different either? Bruce straight up forgets that Jason's supposed to be dead. His mind just registers 'oh there are his kids, fighting like usual', and forgets to take in whether or not those kids are SUPPOSED to be ALIVE.
the kids find it fucking fascinating. Jason can actually have conversations with Bruce at the dinner table, and Bruce doesn't even realise that this is a wild fucking thing to be happening. Tim starts laughing at him and Bruce gets confused, only making the poor kid laugh harder. Jason just can't believe he actually bothered putting effort into hiding when he first came back. Damian's respect for his father diminishes every day.
it becomes a game, to see how far it will go. at one point Dick straight up asks who was better as Robin, him or Jason, in an attempt to jog his memory, and Bruce without looking up from the batcomputer goes 'you were both equally good, stop trying to start competitions with your brother'. Dick throws his hands up in the air and Jason, who has been sat on top of his own fucking memorial case to watch this shit show for the past 20 minutes, slow claps.
it's only after like a month of this that half way through a casual family breakfast, Damian asks Jason to pass him the orange juice or something, and Bruce finally has the fucking moment of
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he never lives it down.
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bloggirl8842 · 7 months
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Makes me so so sad that my first relationship was bad for me even though nothing explicitly bad happened. I see all these things about first loves or firsts in general and how fun it is but all I felt was obsessive, scared, confused, very rarely good. I only had fun when I was drunk (and he always made sure I was safe when I was drunk ofc) but the rest of it-- and even that-- was so tense and fraught, like trying to make unoiled gears turn
#i HATE that i now associate this w him because that was a friend and now i dont trust him in the slightest and i cant think of him too long#without developing all these unsubstantiated worries. i said i want to be friends again at some point but i really dont know if i can do it#i want to because i miss what was there before but like he as a person is now a trigger for me. its odd because we spoke once since the#breakup and it was good for me at least. it felt good. it felt relieving like having that friend back but if his absence inspires so much#worry (not worry for him but worry about him (who is he really? am i safe around him? is he safe around me? I don't feel safe)) then no.#i need so so so much time to even understand what happened and why it feels so bad and i need an ''after'' to play out to get a real#picture of who anybody involved actually is.#i dont trust him at all even though i want to. what sucks too is i have a great intuition around these things so i know intellectually ther#'s likely nothing that off about him but that he as he currently is is just very bad for me as i currently am. and vice versa. but that fee#like world ending panic if i think about it too much. god i cant wait for september to be over. if he brings up trying to be friends again#(which I hope he won't) I'll have to show him this or some other thing I've written during our time apart so he gets just how much time i#need bc in the moment ill be so relieved to be talking again that ill forget this feeling#we’re working on a show tgt about the devil and in those panic moments that triggers me a bit bc ive had sparse and easy to shut down but#still scary moments where i reflect on very very specific instances and think oh yeah the devil possessed him in that moment. and then im#like girl nooooo it fucking didnt what happened was actually [X] but the fact that my mind even goes there is INSANE#not unprecedented unfortunately. but insane. i was telling my mom some of these things and she was like ‘’that poor kid’’ and i was crying#like ‘’I KNOW he thought he got someone normal and he got ME’’#its so funny hes sad about the breakup in like a normal way meanwhile im like i dont care about the breakup but i think ive committed some#cardinal sins i think there is evil in the water and i may be exhibiting mild psychotic symptoms that ive been suppressing for many years.#i did really leave bc i was just not into it though#this is all like side effects. honestly issues ive been having for years and years but which were triggered and which id been suppressing#since like may/june#i just was not into it and i wanted to be but i wasnt and i got confused#this’ll be a fun memory that i sort of can’t talk about one day
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luveline · 5 months
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bEGGING for something with the marauders with drunk reader at a halloween party!!! make it literally anything you want follow ur heart ily and ur writing is AMAZING!!!!
thank you, ily ♡ modern au, fem
The rugby uniform felt like a funny idea at the time, but now you're cold and wondering how James manages to stay warm when he plays. You must ask him. 
He sits on the couch with Remus and another friend, Frank. You like Frank but he's not one of your boys, leaving you no options —you have to slide yourself between Remus and James, emphasis on have to. Remus touches your waist unthinkingly as you do, like he might catch you if you fell. 
James is ecstatic to see you as always. "Where have you been? I was about to send out the search party." 
He's been very, very pleased with you upon the reveal of your costume. Like, pleased enough to take a handful of your thigh and squeeze at the soft inner part greedily. You lean back into Remus, enjoying the feeling and wanting his comfort. He's used to it, and  he adapts by pressing his face indulgently to the side of your head. 
You giggle. This is usually a nice feeling, but drunk? You're euphoric. 
"You can't stray too far, lovely, I need my victim," Remus says. 
"Where have your fangs gone?" you ask, pointing at your neck. "I made the bite mark so perfect. Everyone will think I have rabies if you don't commit." 
James laughs like you're hilarious. Later, you'll find out that you didn't quite say every word that you thought you said, and that you'd been slurring your words into one another to create Frankenstein's sentences. 
"Everybody already thinks you have rabies," James says. He's wearing a chef's costume from a show he likes, a white shirt that's sleeves strain against his biceps and a blue apron. Sirius spent an hour drawing tattoos into his brown skin with a sharpie. "That's why we've decided to put you down." 
"I'll have one last night of passion with her first, if you don't mind," Sirius says, announcing his presence. 
You like the sound of that, lifting yourself away from the other two boys and their touches to take Sirius' fine hands. He's in a button up and tie, the sticker on his chest proudly proclaiming, Hello, my name is: Dave.
"You're here to kiss me, right?" you ask.
Sirius grins and presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. "My little alcoholic, you smell like lambrini. What did we say about lambrini?" 
"Uh, that it makes me sloppy drunk." 
"Exactly!" He kisses your cheek, working an arm around your shoulder as though showing you off with pride to the other boys. "My darling, you're so smart." 
"Not that smart, she still drank the lambrini." 
"Remus, don't start," Sirius admonishes. "You just hate that she chooses me when she's drunk." 
"You're her enabler," James says, "of course she does. But before she was drunk she chose to dress as me for Halloween, so if anyone is the favourite–" 
"Oh, please don't start," Remus says. 
The boys start, arguing over who your favourite is. It's a silly pass time with no real merit but no malice, either, and you're just drunk enough to goad them on. "Maybe Remus should be my favourite. After all, he's my vampire. Our love is, like, eternal." 
The furrowed brow he gets whenever the other two boys debate slips. "It's so eternal," he says, nodding confidently. "Quite right, dove." 
"Eternal doesn't mean better." 
"Then what does it mean, Sirius?" 
You decide that James' lap looks comfortable and that you might be here for a long time, so you push his legs down flat and sit carefully (not very carefully in reality, but in your heart) on his thighs, socked feet pulled up onto the couch, sideways and skewiff in his company. 
"Well, obvious winner," James says, encompassing your back with a big arm, pulling you into him. Under his hand your shoulders feel like a more delicate system; you aren't necessarily small, but his touch feels so everywhere, a pervasive feeling of safety and comfort in the palm of his hand where it grasps you. 
"You have the more comfortable seat," Sirius says nonchalantly. "It means nothing." 
Remus pulls one of your socks up where it's slipping down your calf and Sirius interrupts the arguing to ask if you need a glass of water. You don't have favourites. They're each incredibly lovely in their own way. 
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babygirl-riley · 5 months
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Welcome Home
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You surprise Simon at the base instead of being at home. You also think about how far he has come to acceptance.
Warnings: mentions of sexual acts, fluff, dad!simon, angst, pregnancy
“I’ve fallen for it, I’ve fallen for it somehow.”
A/N: THE PART TWO DAD!SIMON FROM @ave661 IS KILLLINGGGG ME! Seriously chokehold she has me in ALL the time with her art. 😭
simon x reader guide
simon x reader family edition
You called Price beforehand, asked him if it was alright to surprise Simon. You wanted to show up at the base with your baby girl waiting for him. Like you always do. Thankfully and full heartedly he agreed, he even added that he is excited to see his niece. On the way to the base you felt excitement as you played music for both you and your baby.
Your baby gabbles as she plays with hanging baby toys on her car seat. Simon has been gone for a month, it has been so long and you were so excited. He missed having her first tooth, which he will be so excited to see.
Once you got you and your child out of the car you headed to the inside of the base. “141 will be landing in 5 minutes ma’am.” A man said guiding you to the tarmac. “Captain Price said to meet them there.”
You followed the solider to the direction of the tarmac. You knew very well where it was at, a year ago you were on the team for 141 but decided to retire once you found out you were pregnant. Memories littered the hallways as you held your baby close.
“No.” He mumbled as you both stood in your room. He didn’t move for a moment, you thought he was going to leave and not come back for hours. Simon doesn’t do well with emotions but the last couple of months, he has been able to open up more. Now this. You didn’t know how he was going to react let alone what he was going to do.
It was clear, two lines, one word, 6 tests. You and Simon have been in secret for 2 years, established a relationship in a year. You played with your hands as nerves started to kick in. “I thought you were on birth control.” Simon said looking up at you, his eyes only to be shown. The skull mask looking at you.
“I am.” You said your heart slowly hurting, you knew that he never wanted a kid. You knew of his past so this was a joke for the both of you. It was frowned upon when a lieutenant would be sleeping with their sergeant. Hell damn near court marshaled.
Simon looked back down at the tests. He can’t. He won’t. His mind racing a million miles an hour. How could he explain this one to Price? How could you hide a belly on the force? Is there a way for it to be a secret anymore? He cursed himself for loving the fact that he could breed you. It was a new found kink, with him thinking of his cum coating your walls. Simon never broadcast it to you. Telling you that seeing a belly got him feral, thinking about how your body would react to his gift. But…It’s just…is it too soon? Was he ready? Surely he couldn’t be.
“I can get…”
“No,” He cut you off before looking up at you. “This…Not that. ‘M,” his voice trailed. No abortion, he won’t put your body through hell just because both of you didn’t want to wrap it. “I just-I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t either,” You whispered walking slowly up to him. “But we can figure this out?”
Simon nodded once still looking at the tests. You waited as he stood there and sighed. “We have to tell Price now.”
“Here is the tarmac,” The solider said breaking you from your thoughts. “It looks like they have just landed.”
You mumbled a thank you as soldiers came out one by one from the plane. All covered in dirt or blood, tired written on their faces. You frowned knowing that Simon felt the same, it couldn’t have gone the way it suppose to.
You smiled as you walked out watching Gaz come out first, happy surprise on his face. He looked to the side of him to see Soap, who smiled at you nodded. Price smiled, heading towards the direction you were before stopping. Simon, walked out last, almost stopped in his tracks.
Smile beaming on his face underneath the skull mask. His girls. He be-lined to you and your baby girl. His heart beating quickly, as excitement coursed through his veins.
Price stood as both of his teammates broke the news. He had his suspicions of them fucking around but not together. He itches his beard as your tears start to mellow out. Simon was not looking at him but folding his arms while leaning against the wall.
It was like two of his kids came home after school to get hounded at. It was amusing if Price wasn’t angry. Yes. He was at first, his lieutenant and his best sniper in a bit of a bind. She has to be discharged no way will Price NOR Simon let her go out in the field. Especially since they voiced they are keeping the kid.
“We keep it low,” Price finally spoke watched as both of you looked up. “We have to slowly discharge you, not try to have eyes on the situation until then. No missions for you.”
You nodded, first time every has he seen you so shy. Timid. Usually you had confidence written all over you. “Yes sir.” You mumbled looking away.
Price looked at Simon. “I want to have a discussion with you,” He looked at you as you stared at him. You both are young, younger than him anyway. He seen how Simon’s demeanor changed throughout the years when you came on the force. Of course no one else saw it, but Price did. He always knew. “Dismissed Sargent.”
Your baby squealed with delight as she bounced in your arms. “Da! Da!” She yelled as Simon walked over, having heads turn to see the little baby showed her excitement. Simon did take note that she knew who he was and in fact used ‘dada.’
Simon almost damn near sprinted as he walked up to both of you. You let him take your baby as he grabbed her, she screamed laughed, as he rose her to the air. Holding her sides gently but firm. She is so tiny compared to him, she kicked her feet softly in the air, laughing her little head off. Simon loves that sound, the sound of pure joy coming from her. To the point he didn’t give a damn who was around them. Simon was never a shower when it came to his private life, but when she was around wow, he would make sure everyone knew who she was.
Simon sat across the table from you, your bump more noticeable, 6 months to be exact. He still couldn’t believe that what was growing inside you was his. Part of him. Something that he would have never thought would be done. Or have. You have become more aware and accepting of having the child. Yet he still hasn’t.
“I know it will take time Si,” You said knowing always what he was thinking. Simon snapped his eyes up at you, he felt guilt for sure. You were just honorable discharged and he stayed in the force. “I can’t make you feel happy about this. But…But I know eventually you will.”
He didn’t believe you until one night he laid between your legs as you rubbed the back of his head. Simon chuckled lightly at the tv show you were both watching right when it happened,felt a small poke to his head, he froze, you felt him tense. “What…what that?”
You giggled lowly as you rubbed your belly. “It’s the baby,” He still didn’t move when he felt it again. “She moves a lot when you make any sort of noise.” Simon rose slightly, looking up at you, curiously. You grabbed his hand and placed it where she was. His eyes trained on his hand. “Say something.” You whispered.
Simon looked at you unsure before clearing his throat. “Uh, hello baby girl.” It took a second before he felt the bump move to his hand. A soft graze. He snapped his eyes up at you and tears brimming your eyes, nodding. Encouraging him to continue. Simon’s eyes started to water, everything hitting, even when she isn’t out here she was wanting him. Knowing that he is her dad. And she was his baby.
His hand rubbed your belly. “‘Ight ass kicker. I’m happy to hear ya too.”
“Hello my angels,” He said as slowly held her close to him. Her head cradled inside of his neck. Her hands gripping his uniform. He placed a hand on the back of her hand holding her close. You smiled as he placed his other gloved hand on your cheek. “Why ya ‘ere?”
“I couldn’t wait at home,” You stated as people passed the both of you. ���She couldn’t either,” you bumped your shoulder against his. “Told you it was dada.” You teased talking about the last time you both were on the phone. Her screaming ‘da da da,’ knowing damn well it was her daddy on the phone. Simon would tease and say that she got your intelligence since she was only 5 months.
Simon chuckled rolling his eyes, turning his head as she rose from his shoulder. She started towards his skull mask gripping the bottom of it. “Not yet sweethear,’” he whispered gently grabbing her hands. “We are gonna debrief it shouldn’t take too long.”
“Lass,” You laughed as the scottish came up from behind Simon. Slapping his back. “Oh well hello little miss.” He scratched softly underneath her chin. She laughed again shaking her head as she clung onto her dad. “Yer playing hard to get now?” He teased and looked at you.
“Hey Johnny,” You laughed reaching for your baby. She came to you with ease, which you mentally sighed in relief, hoping that she wouldn’t ball her little eyes out when she watched her dad leave. “We will wait on the cafeteria.”
Simon placed his forehead against yours. “It will be quick.” He whispered.
You nodded as you watched them all file into the base. Your baby holding onto you cooing. “Why don’t you ever get that excited to see me,” You playfully glared poking her stomach. She giggled swatting your finger away. “Brat.” You laughed taking her and you to the cafeteria.
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cookinguptales · 1 year
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You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.
So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.
But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.
The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.
It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.
This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."
And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.
Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.
I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.
This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.
And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.
Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.
Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.
So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?
And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.
They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.
If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.
If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."
But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.
Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.
If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.
What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.
Today I'm deleting podcasts.
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citrineaura · 18 days
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The Homewarming audio reveals and exposes a lot about the neighbors characters. [ANALYSIS]
1.) First things first; The neighbors can interact with the narrator. But considering puppet shows usually involve the puppets interacting with the narrator, (like Sesame Street for example) I don't know if that's a big deal or not.
2.) BARNABY: (Barnaby pipes up at the Narrator.) Hey, keep it down up there! Some of us are tryin’ to do some serious cerebratin’ down here!
^As above, so below reference again.
3.) JULIE: (Whispered.) Frank’s right… Homewarming is about making sure your house is nice, cozy, and toasty. Right before I go to sleep for a very long time, I make a big nest from my bed just like I used to do back home when I was small- A lot of pillows and blankets and leaves and sticks…
^Her background when she used to live in a cave.
4.) HOWDY: Advice?! …You know I don’t got any’a that for sale, Barn! Not unless it’s to buy, buy, buy-!
^Hmmm, consumerism is what he's advocating.
5.) HOWDY: Frank?! (Howdy Scoffs loudly)
^So far, Frank is wary of Wally, Sally is blatantly disrespectful to Eddie, and now we see Howdy possibly doesn't think of Frank as a close neighbor. What's with all the animosity?
6.) HOWDY: That’s right! Trinkets even! It’s about what you give to other folks! The bigger, the shinier, and the more expensive the better! It’s about the razzle and dazzle! Go on, Barn, tell ‘em!
^We see here that Howdy is materialistic- which is odd considering he only asks for a joke in exhange for his services but then we get...this side of him.
7.) Frank said Homewarming is just a home that's warm, Howdy said it was gifts for Home. Sally says Homewarming is about the ambience, decor, and experience. Poppy says it's for dishes.
^Frank is logical- too literal, Howdy is materialistic, Sally enjoys the spotlight, and Poppy is a foodie.
8.) Wally even tossed the slice of poppy-seed ham into the flames and listened for a sound of approval
^Although it's revealed Home preferred the company of Wally and Barnaby instead of all the gifts in the end, this one specific action Wally did seemed oddly...sacrifical. Like offering food to a higher being.
I still don't think Home is an antagonist, personally. My money is still on Playfellow Workshop.
9.) WALLY: (He sounds frustrated and confused.) …How can that be.
^Apparently, Barnaby couldn't hear it but Wally's voice gets distorted when overwhelmed, just like it did when he tried speaking to YOU or...the Question-Answerer.
10.) AND! Eddie was never mentioned, not once, in this audio- which makes me think this is in correlation to the Wishbook audio recording where "Santa Claus" fails to talk about Eddie, and only Eddie.
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