#this show is so stupid and historically inaccurate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starlightxsvt · 1 year

Text

Lover Boy | h.js

pairing ➳ commoner!joshua x aristocrat!fem!reader

genre ➳ regency era romance, historical, drama, slow burn, angst.

word count ➳ 8.3k

warnings ➳ for the sake of plot reader's surname is Jones ( just ignore it), might be historically inaccurate, arguments, some family issues, pressure for marriage, reader is mean at one point, wanted to include smut but it lowkey felt wrong cuz this was the time when showing ankles was scandalous so 🤷‍♀️

synopsis ➳ pining for someone like him is as scandalous as it can be but the heart wants what it wants and your heart wants him.

He's here once again.

You peek through the curtains, watching him park his bicycle before reaching for the bouquet of flowers sitting in the basket. He has brought tulips today, in purple, your mother's favorite.

Your heart thumps rapidly in your chest as you watch him from your hiding spot in your room, behind the curtains. You ingrain his beautiful features in the deepest parts of your brain, taking in each slope and curve with rapt attention.

As if he can feel your gaze burning on him, his head tilts up and he blinks, before recognition flashes in his eyes. He gives you a sweet, almost teasing smile as you've been caught spying on him and you immediately pull the curtains shut, hiding from his eyes.

Yeah, real smooth.

This has become a regular habit for you. Watching this particular man, this flower delivering boy every Friday and Tuesday morning just after breakfast, which you hurry to finish so that you don't miss him.

It's nothing but a harmless crush really, ongoing for about a year. It started on a rainy morning when you were out on the patio, watching the rain when he appeared, riding his bike, almost drenched from the downpour.

You quietly viewed him from your spot, watching as he handed a beautiful basket of roses to your mother before tipping his hat in goodbye and jogging back to his bike. Just as he was about to leave, somehow his eyes landed on you— a bored, quiet yet intriguing look on your face at the same time, and he held your gaze for a good few seconds before smiling at you as if you had known each other forever, before going on his merry way.

Something about that smile changed you from deep within. Whenever you'd close your eyes you would only see him, his crescent eyes, the crinkles around them and his sweet, comforting grin. It haunted you to the point he became your obsession.

You extracted a little information about him from your mother who gave you a strange look. But you couldn't be bothered. You had a frustratingly beautiful fixation.

And so it began. You spying on the flower delivering boy— or a man, given how solid his body looked under the puffy shirt. Days bled into weeks and then into months and your fixation evolved into something more. Something that tugged at your heartstrings, made you memorize every little detail about him which would come to plague your mind in the darkness of the night. Prompt thoughts that, if heard by your mother would put you up for an exorcism by the church.

Being the oldest daughter of the earl comes with both fors and againsts. Fors, being pretty clothes and jewels, carriage rides to fancy parties, respect and admiration from everyone, oh— and good food. That's about it. Againsts, however, there are plenty.

Like being constantly nagged by your mother to find a rich suitor and get married. Like being cornered with plenty of such rich suitors whom you never find just slightly attractive. But the biggest one of them would be if you were seen with the pretty flower delivery man.

Your mother gave you a pep talk one day when you asked for his name, saying that you better not get familiar with the likes of him and instead focus on finding a man to marry and have children with.

It was annoying, really. So much so that you wished you could summon that stupid handsome man and kiss him just to vex your mother. Alas, it remained a wish.

Like most of the things in your life.

"Your sister is expecting," your mother announces as she carefully spreads pomegranate jam on her bread. You stop eating for a second, processing the words and then nod. "I'll be sure to visit her and congratulate her."

Even though it isn't evident on her face, you know your mother is over the moon. Your sister, the one 3 years younger than you, got married last winter and within four months she's expecting. You also know that this is what she wishes for you too and now the conversation will venture in that direction.

"Once again, ____. I'm telling you to find someone— "

"You know I'm not interested, mother," you cut her off, sipping your tea. You can feel her gaze burn into you as there's a heavy pause before she drops her bread on the plate and wipes her fingers with the napkin. "Which is why I've found someone for you. You know lady Downwell. Her nephew is an extremely talented young man with gorgeous looks. He is plenty rich too. I've asked him to have lunch with us today so that you may get to know each other."

The look of horror on your face matches your fathers as you drop the cup from your hand, sending it crashing down and he chokes a cough before blinking rapidly. Your younger brother, only 8 years old, sitting next to you, screams in glee while slapping on the jam spread on his toast, sending it flying, "Sister is getting married!"

Your mother doesn't blink an eye at the commotion.

"D-dear, isn't this a bit too sudden?" Your father starts gently. The woman spoken to glares at him. "Sudden? You know how long I have been telling her to find a suitor. She is well above the age to get married. If we keep going like this no one will marry her except an old, blind oaf!"

"S-still, my love. You could have told me. I would have looked into him."

"I have already done that. He is the perfect gentleman. You will see when he arrives."

The way your mother talks so nonchalantly, deciding your fate right in front of you without even bothering to ask makes your blood boil. You clench your fists as tightly as you can, trying your best to not lash out but the effort is in vain.

You stand up abruptly, sending the chair back with an ugly screech as you snap, "If you think for one moment that I'm going to marry someone you choose for me, then you are gravely mistaken, mother!"

She stares at you, horrified but before she can curse you out, you head for the door, snatching your cloak on the way.

You've had enough of this nonsense.

Hours of wandering later, you find yourself in the market, among the hustling and bustling of people who keep sparing you second glances, undoubtedly because of your pristine, polished appearance. You try to ignore them, instead focusing on the beautiful array of fresh produce, their color so vibrant you feel hungry. You keep walking, passing by the stores of fruits, vegetables, potteries, bakeries and more until you stop in front of a fairly large flower shop. It is minimally designed yet stands out among all the other shops and before you know it, you're stepping inside, pushing the door open.

It is empty except for the huge rows of flowers of various colors and sizes and types, arranged in long rows on one side of the shop. On the other side is a counter with a chair, a reception you assume, in which sits no one.

Just as you are about to call out for someone, a man appears from the back door, wiping his hands with a handkerchief and as his eyes meet yours, your breath is stolen.

It's him.

The flower delivering man.

Joshua.

Your breath stutters as you blink, feet almost moving to bolt out the door, for no particular reason except your shyness. Though, he saves you the trouble.

"Hello, Lady Jones. What may be the occasion that has led you to visit me?"

"Y-you recognize me?" You whisper, a little breathless.

"Should I not?" He blinks innocently. "I deliver flowers at your place twice a week, my lady."

"Y-yes. I am aware." You murmur. He waits for you to say more but when he's met with silence he offers, "The reason for your visit? Does your mother not like the pansies I dropped this week?"

"No, I am... not here about that." You look around awkwardly, moving your hands in the air as if they will conjure up the words. "I- I was wandering nearby and... I came across this shop. It looked lovely so I came in. I had no idea it belonged to you."

He nods, seeming to ponder over your words. Then he hums, as if satisfied and asks, "Would you like some tea? I have passion fruit and camomile. I would recommend the latter."

"Um," you swallow, throat dry. "Yes, please."

Lord, your mother would lose her mind if she knew you were having tea with him. Which makes you only want to do it more.

He offers you to sit on one of the two chairs by the window of the shop while he disappears inside the door he approached from. Once alone, you take in your surroundings, cozy and warm, a beautiful scent of flowers wafting in the air, soothing your stressed soul. But the ambiance of the environment doesn't stop you from chewing on your lip anxiously because you realize that running from the breakfast table isn't going to help you out of your situation.

When you return home tonight you'll be scolded by your mother or maybe, if your luck is really bad then she has probably already sent men looking for you. The thought makes you crane your head and look out the window suspiciously.

"Something got you anxious, my lady?" Your head whips back to see Joshua approaching with a tray containing two cups of tea. Setting it down on the small coffee table, he takes a seat on the vacant chair to your opposite.

"N-no," you murmur, eyes averting his. He hums and you have a feeling he doesn't buy your words. Nervous to make eye contact, you instead watch the steam emitting from the cups and chew on your lip.

"I have to say, I am quite pleasantly surprised with your unexpected visit. I never imagined you would set foot in this shabby little place."

"It is not shabby at all," You frown. "It is wonderful, albeit a little short but it has such a comfortable atmosphere."

"I have heard you rarely step outside the grounds of your place. It is quite an honor to have you here."

"I— yes that is true." You whisper, wondering if he thinks you are a spoiled little princess. But you have your reasons for staying inside most of the time. An unmarried girl your age, a daughter of the earl at that, has people frowning upon you all the time. If they are not frowning, the ladies or their sons of the high society are asking for your hand in marriage. It gets annoying and makes your skin crawl, being spied on all the time.

"I tend to garner a lot of attention when I step outside," you murmur shyly, reaching for the tea and taking a sip.

"Why so, my lady?" The man frowns, making you squirm in embarrassment. Is he really so dense?

"Perhaps because I am well of age yet not married?" You state.

A beautiful flush coats the man's cheeks as he blinks and lowers his head. "Right, of course. My apologies, my lady."

His reaction makes you laugh. "It is nothing to apologize about, Mr...?"

"Hong," he offers.

You smile. "Mr. Hong. In fact, apologizing makes it worse almost." He flinches, looking ashamed, "Right." You offer him a kind smile to make him feel better. He says nothing as you sip your tea and watch outside the window and you feel his occasional glances at you.

An ambient silence later, he asks, "If you do not mind me asking, why are you yet not married?"

You blink, slightly taken aback. No one asked you that question so far, never bothered to know the reason why you have always run from the bond of matrimony. He probably takes your silence as irritation because he once again flushes red and apologizes, "I'm so sorry, my lady. I keep saying the most inappropriate words."

"No, no, not at all, Mr. Hong." You set down your cup. " I was a little surprised, that's all. No one has asked me that, ever."

"Oh." He breathes, blinking at you in curiosity. You exhale and play with the strings of your corset, wondering if you should tell him the truth. Before you think too much, your mouth starts moving. "I suppose I want the love I read in books. I want to feel the longing, the passion, and the desire they talk about in the stories. I have seen many many men but none of them made me feel those things. They were too reserved or awkward, too haste or rude, or just simply wanting the privileges of marrying an earl's daughter. So, I suppose I am yet to be betrothed for I am wishing for that type of love."

He remains still, observing you with careful eyes, making you feel embarrassed. You whisper in embarrassment, "Silly, is it not?"

He shakes his head. "Not even the slightest, my lady. In fact, that is really thoughtful. I admire the way you think."

"Oh," heat flares across your face as your heart thuds loudly in your chest. "T-thank you." You breathe.

He gives you his sweet smile, "You are welcome, my lady. I hope you find the love you are looking for. I assure you, you will one day."

His words make the wave of reality crash on you as you remember that your mother has already prepared a man for you. You sigh wistfully as the bitter words leave your mouth, "I do not think that will be happening."

A frown mars his beautiful face as he shifts in his chair and peers closely at your face, "Why do you say so, my lady?"

"My mother has already arranged a marriage for me." You blurt out. It definitely is not the wisest decision to say this to an almost stranger but the burden of the thought weighs heavily on your chest and it feels slightly better to let it out. Joshua seems stunned as he has gone speechless and is now watching you quietly.

Moments tick by in silence until he finally whispers, "I am sorry to hear that."

You let out a dry, unceremonious laugh. "Me too." He gives you a sympathetic look before reaching for his tea, probably feeling a little uncomfortable. You don't feel any better as the sane part of your brain questions why you are dumping your stupid problems on the man you've been talking to for ten minutes and who is also the man you have secretly pined for.

Sensing that you should leave now and find some other place to hide till dusk, you shift in your chair and clear your throat. However, he cuts you off.

"Do you perhaps have someone you like?" The man asks. You blink, stunned at the question as you process your thoughts.

Do you like someone?

Yes. A hundred times yes.

It is the man sitting in front of you. The one you can never have.

"I...yes, I do." You reply, face heated. He nods thoughtfully and suggests, "You should let him know then."

"I am not sure he feels the same for me." You avoid his eyes as if he can see the truth in them.

"Then ask him," Joshua says like it is the most obvious thing in the world. "Let him know. Any man would be crazy to refuse you, my lady."

Really?

His words make heat bloom in your face as your heart beats faster. "That is high praise, Mr. Hong."

"It is nothing but the truth, my lady." His words are fiercely sincere. You watch him for a breath, letting his words sink in and then, do the last thing a sane person would ever do.

"Will you be my betrothed, Mr. Hong?" You whisper, so low you assume he won't catch it but he does. You can tell by the way his eyebrows rise and his eyes widen as the hand reaching for the teacup stops mid-air. There is a heavy pause in the air as you wait, feeling like the entire world has stopped.

And then, he does something you never quite expected. He starts laughing. A full on belly laugh as he writhes in his seat and howls in laughter, the sound echoing around as if to mock you.

He has a hard time catching his breath and when he does he looks seriously amused. "My lord! You have quite the sense of humor, Lady Jones! I almost believed you!"

Embarrassment and anger flare through you. How dare he think you are joking when you said the bravest thing one could imagine to say? Your hands clench into fists as you abruptly stand, sending the chair back roughly and glare at him.

Your reaction completely sobers him as the look in his eyes changes, replaced with panic. But you have reached past the point of caring. Utterly humiliated, you turn and march for the door, fingers working on fastening the clasp of your cloak. Just as you are about to pull the door open his hand grabs your elbow, halting you.

"My lady! Please, wait!"

Unshed tears gather in your eyes as you scowl at him, clenching your teeth to hold in the fury.

"You...you were not joking, were you?" His voice is meek and the look in his eyes tells you that he knows the answer.

"I—..." He struggles to find words and it's almost pathetic so you save him the trouble.

"It is all right, Mr. Hong. I did not expect you to feel the same for me and neither do I expect you to save me from my trouble. You asked me to let him know and I merely did. This should not be a problem. We will never face each other again so we can put this past us and pretend as if it has never happened." The words are hard to speak, especially since you are so close to him, closer than you could ever imagine being and you can see the specks of gold in his eyes, and breathe in the faint scent of flowers and mint coming from him.

And that is torture.

So you free yourself from his grasp and bolt out of his shop, feet carrying you through the throng of people in the market.

You spend the next few hours just wandering around, crossing large meadows, grape vines, marigold gardens and so much more, all the while trying to forget his reaction.

You did not expect him to fall head over heels for you but the last thing you could imagine was to be laughed at. How humiliating. The more you think about it, the more shame you feel.

What if he has someone he likes? What if he is already betrothed to someone?

Oh Lord, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

Your aimless wandering comes to an end with the fall of dusk as your aching feet carry you back to your home where your mother's wrath awaits. Oddly, you do not feel scared of that, your heart already burdened with another type of emotion.

As you predicted, your mother is livid the moment you step into your house, sending the servants scattering away at her booming voice as your father tries to calm her down and give you a sympathetic look. You care for none of those as you simply let her shout at you and then retreat into your room where you curl up into a ball on your bed and lie in silence.

You don't know if it's the heartbreak or exhaustion that lulls you to sleep.

The next morning when you come downstairs, you find the house empty other than your father. Apparently, your mother and younger brother have gone to the neighbor's place for breakfast so you sigh in relief.

As you finish your breakfast in silence and the maidservant clears away your plates, your father emerges from his study and stops when he spots you.

After a beat of silence, he takes a seat next to you and gives you a soft, meaningful look that chokes you with emotions. "How are you holding up, darling?" He quietly asks.

"Fine, I suppose. I have accepted my fate." You reply, staring at your lap. Your father sighs wistfully. "I know your mother can be too much to handle at times but she means well. She did that out of concern for you."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"That being said," your father continues. "She should not have arranged a meeting without consulting with you first. I apologize on her behalf, darling."

You swallow and blink back the tears and manage to simply nod in reply. When he calls your name you are forced to meet his eyes and you can see the seriousness in his expression.

"You don't have to accept anything you are not comfortable with, darling. I know you, my daughter and I do not want you to move into an arrangement unhappy when it ties you up for life. I want you to think and I want you to make the decision. Whether you marry Lady Downwell's nephew or wait for someone, I want you to decide for yourself and stand by it. And I promise to help you with that however I can."

The wave of gratefulness you feel is immense as you croak, "Really, father?"

"Yes, my child." He reaches for your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. You take a breath and whisper, "I do not want to marry her nephew. I am not ready, not yet at least."

He nods calmly and pats your shoulder. "Then you will not. I will have a talk with your mother later but ultimately you should convince her, make her see your point. It may be hard but it is not impossible."

You nod solemnly, a flurry of hope and motivation flowing through you. A thought occurs to you and just as your father is about to get up and leave, you stop him.

"Father, what kind of man do you expect me to marry?"

He frowns. "I'm not quite following, darling."

"I mean, do you wish for me to marry someone who is from high society like us? Or would you be fine if I brought home an ordinary man?"

He ponders for a moment before replying, "I wish for you to marry someone you love or at least someone who understands you, respects you and protects you." Then his eyes narrow on you, "Do you have someone you like, my daughter?"

"No," you murmur, because that's not completely a lie. Yes, you like someone but that person doesn't like you so it is pointless to mention that. Your father watches you for a moment before walking away and leaving you by yourself. You watch the blue sky and the garden from the large windows, yet your thoughts remain stuck on one particular man, who smells like flowers and hopes and love.

In the afternoon when you come downstairs, intent on spending some time in the garden, tending to the flowers, you realize something is up.

Your mother's scowl of disdain greets you at the bottom of the stairs as she stands in front of your father's study, her arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently.

You don't need to ask what is wrong as she speaks, "What did you do, young lady!"

You're baffled and it is safe to say you have no idea what you could have done. Calmly, you ask, "Could you explain, mother?"

She hisses, "What is that flower delivery boy doing here!"

"Huh?"

"Mr. Hong is here to see your father, wishing to talk about you, _____! What did you do yesterday? Did you meet with him?"

The ground beneath you disappears as you fall and fall, tumbling down into an abyss of anxiousness. Throat dry, eyes wide in alarm, you set sight for your father's study and take determined steps towards it. Your mother is horrified, calling for you to stop but you don't listen as you slam open the door to the study.

Two pairs of eyes greet you as your father sits behind his large oak desk, hand resting under his chin thoughtfully and Joshua stands in front, dressed formally, clutching his hat between his hands.

You open your mouth, to make some excuse or maybe accuse the poor man of lying but your father saves you from it.

"______, darling I'm in the middle of a discussion."

"But father— !"

"_____." Your name is uttered in a warning which makes you shut up and begrudgingly, you step back but not before sending your best threatening glare at Joshua who keeps looking at you impassively, no emotion whatsoever written on his face.

Just as you close the door, your mother is hot on your heels as she throws a dozen questions left and right. You try to block them out as you bite your nails nervously.

Your agitation carries you to the garden as you try to take a peek into your father's study but alas, the drapes are on, blocking the complete view.

What is Joshua doing here? Is he here to complain about you? Tell your father how you stupidly confessed to him? Or threaten to tell everyone about your actions?

Oh, sweet lord.

The thoughts overwhelm you and you wish you could fall to the ground and cry. You are too wired to do that but you know you will be crying later, when this handsome threat leaves and your mother grounds you forever.

You rub your temples in sheer worry as you pace back and forth in the garden littered with beautiful plants. This is usually your place of solace but right now you feel nothing remotely close to it.

This is it. You are doomed. You will still end up marrying some man you aren't interested in but now with an extra bit of shame and scandal.

The sound of footsteps wakes you out of your stupor as you whip your head to see Joshua leaving the house. You charge straight at him, hissing, "What on earth could you be doing here, Mr. Hong!"

He stares at you blankly for a moment before replying, "I think you and I both know the reason for my sudden presence, my lady."

His calmness bursts fury in your veins like he just didn't ruin your already ruined life.

"Are you insane?" You seethe. "Why would you tell my father about that? It was a mistake, alright? I know it was inappropriate but could you not have saved me from the shame?"

He remains silent, just blinking.

Oh, how you wish you could choke him.

"I— I just do not understand, Mr. Hong!" You rub your temples, searching for the words. "You always act like a gentleman but behind the facade, you are just scheming, are you not? What did you ask my father for, huh? Blackmail him for money? Threaten to tell everyone about my stupid confession unless you got paid?"

There is a flash of anger, mixed with hurt in his eyes that makes you shut your mouth. Maybe you went too far.

Shit. This only keeps getting worse.

There's a long moment of silence, where you two gaze at each other, you cowering under his hard stare before he sighs softly, "I believe it is best you ask your father. He will tell you everything."

He tips his hat in goodbye before briskly walking out the gates, leaving you frayed with nerves and slightly guilty.

Your father's movements are cool and calm as he pours himself some tea, definitely not looking like someone who had been threatened or blackmailed. Well, you just assumed that and the more time passes, the more you realize your observation was terribly wrong. Which further worries you.

What is going on here?

"Please put me out of my misery, father," you speak, eyes watching him helplessly as he sits down behind his desk and takes a sip. Humming in satisfaction, he sets the cup down and meets your eyes. There seems to be a hint of an amused curve in his lips but your disoriented brain could be just imagining that.

"As you saw, Mr. Hong was here. He had something shocking to say. Or ask, I suppose." This time, there is a full on amused smile on his face that makes your toes curl.

Holding your breath, you wait for your father to continue.

"He asked me for your hand in marriage."

What?

The air in your lungs gets trapped inside as you forget to breathe. Had you not been sitting down, you would have tumbled on the ground by now.

You had to have heard that wrong. There is simply no way...

"C-could you please repeat that?" You are choking.

Your father smiles. "He wishes to marry you, my daughter. He came to ask me for permission. It appears you came across him yesterday and also professed your feelings toward him..."

There is a buzzing in your ears as your father's words fade away, replaced with an overwhelming wave of emotions. You are stunned, grateful, impressed, guilty and so much more that you don't know what to do with yourself. You wish you could cry but the utter shock in your system prevents you from doing that too.

When your father calls your name multiple times, you snap out of your haze and blink at him. "What did you say to him, father?"

A playful smile dances on his lips. "It's sufficient to say I was completely stunned at his bravery. He is a noble young man and I am thoroughly impressed and assured that he would take care of you in every way. So I told him I would speak with my daughter and that if she truly desires him, I will bestow my blessings."

Tears of relief and gratefulness leak from your eyes.

"F-father..."

His eyes soften, "You like that man, do you not? Is that why you asked me whether I would be okay if you did not marry someone in the high society?"

You nod shyly. "Yes, but I was just curious, father. I really did not imagine he would come here and ask for my hand in marriage. I just blurted out my feelings the other day and I..." You shake your head, absolutely bewildered until the realization dawn's upon you.

How rashly you behaved with him. How you accused him of things he never did.

You always act like a gentleman but behind the facade, you are just scheming, are you not?

Threaten to tell everyone about my stupid confession unless you got paid, no?

You wince as you remember your words. Immediately you stand up. "I need to go somewhere. Can I take your horse?"

He lifts a surprised eyebrow before nodding. "Send your mother inside on your way out."

You almost bolt out of the room. Your mother stands right outside but you push past her and reach for your cloak hanging by the door as she throws a hundred questions in your direction.

"Father is waiting for you!" You tell as you fly out the front door, heading for the stables where you find your father's trustee horse Bella and get on it.

Soon you are flying down the streets, Bella's legs gracefully carrying you to your destination, Joshua's flower shop. You can only hope he's there as you have no idea where he actually lives. Well, if he isn't there then you are just going to wait for him. You were a complete spoiled brat and you said some very mean things to him that you need to apologize for no matter what.

The market soon comes into view and a minute later you are in front of his shop where you get down and fasten Bella next to a pole. You almost break down the doors as you push them wide open, grateful that they open.

But inside, there is no one.

"Mr. Hong?" Your voice is filled with urgency.

No reply.

A chill settles into your bones.

He shouldn't be far away if he left his shop unlocked, right?

Tentatively you step into the shop, eerie stillness in the air...or maybe it's the imagination of your guilt. You pass by the reception booth and the displays of flowers and come to stand in front of the small door at the back of the shop. Seeing it slightly ajar, you breathe in the courage and give it a gentle push.

The door opens to lead you to a garden, so full of flowers it feels unreal. It is a burst of colors, a piece of paradise, and something so beautiful you could never imagine.

You step down a couple of stairs and put your foot on the grass, eyes taking in the huge land of flowers. With the sun slowly setting down on the horizon this feels magical. Walking a little further into the garden, you spot the man you are looking for, as he is crouched near the ground, washing his hands next to a pail of water.

Before you can stop yourself, you are calling out for him.

His head whips around at your voice as shock colors his face. You take quick steps towards him as he stands up and wipes his hands with a handkerchief, a sudden look of disdain settling on his face. You, however, don't let that dissuade you.

"The door was open so I let myself in. I hope you do not mind." You murmur, not being able to hold his gaze and instead looking down at the ground. The reply you get is a sound, somewhere between a hum and a grunt, increasing your guilt tenfold.

You have never seen him like this. His normal joyous self is replaced by this cold mask and icy glare. It makes you jittery with nerves as you try to form a complete coherent sentence in your head.

"I.... I—"

"What brings you here, Lady Jones?" There is an underlying harshness in his tone that breaks your heart.

"My father has accepted your proposal!" You blurt out instead of apologizing. His eyes widen visibly in shock and his mouth parts just a little bit before going back to the previous unyielding gaze.

"I see." Is all he says, frowning. He turns his back on you in dismissal and picks up a watering can to walk over to a bunch of marigolds. As he waters them you trail behind like a lost puppy, hands clenching and unclenching at his utter dismissal.

"Mr. Hong, listen—"

"I am glad you took the liberty to come all the way here and let me know that but I think you should head back. The sun will set soon." He states not even glancing at you.

You stop in your tracks, glaring at him as tears burn in your eyes. Before you know it, you yell. "Will you let me speak for a second? I am trying to apologize here, mister!"

He turns around in a flash and scowls at you as he snarks. "Well, you sure are not doing a good job at it!"

You gasp, a sudden pinch of pain in your heart as you take a step back. "You won't even listen to me!"

He spares you a glance for a moment before going back to his work and that sets the limit. You screech, tears of hurt and guilt and exhaustion pouring down your cheeks. "I'm sorry, okay! I ran over here as soon as father told me everything! I know very well what I said was out of line and I'm sincerely sorry for that! I was scared, okay? The things I mentioned took place before and I did not want my father to be blackmailed or humiliated, especially for my actions! But I was wrong! I was too quick to judge you and I should have known better and I'm sorry!"

You stop to catch your breath and wipe away the tears while he stands immobile with his back facing you. Getting the clear message, you spit out the bitter words. "I can clearly see that you have now changed your mind and I am not blaming you. I shall go and let my father know that you are not interested in me anymore. Goodbye!"

You turn on your heel, marching out of the garden and into his shop where you take in a deep breath, the familiar scent of comfort filling your nostrils for the very last time and head for the front door. Just as you grab the handle, a hand catches your wrist and pulls you back in a flash, making you lose your footing and bump straight into a strong chest.

The scent and warmth of Joshua envelopes you completely as he wraps his arms around you, one on your waist and the other cradling your head, holding you against him tightly. You tense up and try to free yourself but he only grips you tighter, burying your face into his hard chest and before you can think, a stream of new tears flows out of your eyes. You clutch his shirt in a tight fist as you sob into his chest, murmuring a continuous string of apologies. He shushes you, rubbing a reassuring palm on your back as you let out all the pent up frustrations.

When you have finally ridden out the wave of overwhelming emotions you pull back, embarrassment creeping up your neck. Joshua, however, gazes at you fondly as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"You shall do no such thing, you hear me, my lady? I am marrying you and now that your father has agreed, there is no going back."

You chew on your lips. "But...I do not wish for you to feel trapped in this marriage. I do not want you to marry me just because—"

He holds up a finger against your lips, shushing you immediately. The touch of his skin against yours shoots tingles all through your spine and you suddenly wonder how his lips would feel against yours.

"I want to marry you, lady Jones. I am no longer shy to admit that thoughts of you have plagued my mind for a while now. But I simply pushed them away because I never imagined you feeling the same. However, we are here now and I want you to have no doubts about my feelings for you, for they are the most genuine."

Your face burns with embarrassment as your heart flutters in your chest at his heartfelt confession. You realize he still has his arm around your waist as he gazes at you softly and once again, you voice out the crazy thought that pops into your mind.

"Will you kiss me, Mr. Hong?" Your voice is breathless as you meet his eyes. They go wider than saucers upon hearing your words as he quickly retracts his hands from your body, leaving behind an aching longing.

"My lady!" He chides and you can see a hint of red blooming in his cheeks. "I shall not defile you before we are—"

You hover on your toes and press your lips against his, silencing him. Just as quickly as you kissed him, you pull back, your shyness and nervousness getting the best of you.

The look of utter horror on the man's face makes you cringe as you look down in shame. "I— I apologize, Mr—"

This time you are silenced as he tilts your head up by your chin and kisses you, all warm and soft. His lips mold against yours perfectly as he gently explores your mouth, leaving you breathless yet desperate to continue.

When he pulls back, your lips are puffed and your heart beats so loud you're afraid he can hear it. There is a different kind of look in his eyes, heated and full of desire as he intently stares at your lips for some agonizingly long moments. When you are about to lean in for more he takes a step back, a serious look on his face.

"I meant it when I said I shall not defile you before our marriage. My control is hanging by a thread right now so please do not tempt me, my lady."

"_____." You whisper.

"What?"

"Please call me by my name. I do not like it when you refer to me as my lady."

He frowns but you can see he finds the idea tempting. "I do not think that it will be appropriate."

"Just when it is the two of us." You add, hoping to convince him. He sighs, defeated and calls your name softly, stealing your breath all over again. He presses a soft kiss on your forehead as he pulls you into an embrace, making you melt against his chest and breathe him in.

A while later, you remember that the sun has set and you are expected home soon as you pull back with a wistful sigh. "I need to get going. My parents are going to be worried."

Joshua nods as he reaches for a coat folded over a chair. "I shall accompany you." He states, already moving for the door.

"It is not necessary—"

"Nonsense. It is dark outside and I shall ensure the safety of my future wife." The teasing smile on his face makes you grin like a lovestruck fool and you happily let him accompany you home.

A week later, Joshua drops by your house, having tea with your father before taking you out for an afternoon stroll. You dress up for the occasion, putting on a flattering gown and doing your hair and makeup as he takes you to a nearby vineyard.

"How have you been?" He asks politely. A week of not seeing him has made you somewhat shy and awkward as you murmur your reply shyly.

"Having second thoughts, my lady?" He raises a brow, teasing. A pout forms on your lips. "I told you not to call me that. And no, I am not."

"Good." He smiles. The afternoon sun falling on his face gives him his ethereal glow and shamelessly, you wish for the wedding to come quicker as your desire for him continues to grow.

"Then what seems to be the issue?"

"Just things..." You trail off, unsurely. "My mother, mainly. She is having a tough time accepting this." You sigh, motioning between the two of you.

A frown mars his face, making you feel guilty. While it is true that she is still pestering you to change your mind, you have started to learn how to tune it out. You let her know that you were not going to change your decision no matter what she said and the fact that your father and your siblings were on board with you definitely gave you courage.

With your mother holding a grudge, you took it upon yourself to start preparing for the wedding. Your sister also came to help and along with the aid of the maidservants, it is coming along pretty nicely. The linen draper came by today as you finalized your dress and now that that is out of the way, you feel a lot better.

Joshua has remained silent beside you as you two continue to walk and you start fiddling, wondering if you've hurt his feelings. "You do not have to be concerned about my mother. She is just not happy with our... differences but I am sure she will come around." You reassure him.

"Does it bother you?" Joshua asks suddenly, stopping and meeting your eyes. "That I am not from high society?"

"Why would you think so?" You ask, almost yelling. "I do not care where you come from or what your status is, Joshua. It pains that you would think so."

He sighs. "I am sorry, love." The pet name rapidly blooms heat on your face and it amplifies as he reaches to grab your hands. His larger fingers rub your knuckles soothingly as he offers you a soft smile. "I just... sometimes worry because I will not be able to give you the lifestyle you are used to. But you do not have to worry too much. My father may not be high born but he was a great businessman and I have inherited all his properties. He also left me a land—"

You shut him up with a kiss. He's taken aback and just as he is about to deepen it, you pull back with a teasing smile. "I think the person worrying too much here is you, mister."

He chuckles softly, dropping a quick kiss on your nose and intertwining his hands with yours as you resume your walk. "I shall try my utmost to keep you happy, love." He promises.

You smile. "I know you will. I shall do the same."

That night as you prepare for bed, your mother peeks into your room and surprising you, invites herself in. You watch her, a little confused as she takes a seat on your bed because she has been avoiding you as best as she could until now.

She fiddles with her nightgown for a while before heaving a deep sigh, making you wonder what bomb she is going to drop on you now.

Her eyes meet yours. "You are truly going to marry that man, no?"

"Yes, mother." You try not to sound too exasperated. She sighs, murmuring something about how you are stubborn like your father and then straightens up.

"You have to understand I am only concerned about you. I love you, ______. You are my daughter and I only want the best for you."

Your heart softens. You exhale loudly. "I know that mother but I need you to understand that Mr. Hong is the best for me. He may not be what you had in mind for me but I find him perfect. He makes me happy, mother."

She stares at you impassively for a while, making you anxious. Did you push her too far?

"I talk from experience, darling. My time with your father had always not been so breezy. The famine that took place in your birth year was not easy. Even as an earl, your father had to struggle to provide for us."

You know this story. That year the famine was particularly harsh, affecting the entire country and your parents had a hard time getting by with your older brother and you, despite being affluent.

"I know how hard times can get and I was married to an earl. I keep imagining the same may happen to you and he would not be able to take care of you and your children."

You sigh, letting a thick silence stretch between the two of you. While she has a point, you would rather struggle with someone you love than live comfortably with a man you despise. It would simply kill you.

"Do you regret it, mother?"

"What?"

"I know you had better proposals than father. During the hard times, did you ever regret choosing him? Having us?"

Your mother indeed had fancier marriage proposals as your grandfather was a duke. Your mother even had a direct proposal from the prince but she refused, choosing your father instead.

She sits in silence for a while before shaking her head. "I do not."

You smile. "Then there you have it. Life is bound to get harsh sometimes, mother. But we can overcome it with the people we love, can we not? You overcame the hard times and now look at us."

Even in the dimly lit room, you can see your mother's eyes shine with unshed tears. She watches you for a moment before a small smile appears on her lips as her arm reaches out to cup your cheek. "When did you grow up so well, darling?"

You smile, your eyes getting teary too as you shuffle closer and wrap your arms around her, tucking your head under her chin. She holds you in her arms like you are a little kid all over again, stroking your hair and gently swaying back and forth.

"I will ask him to come over for lunch, tomorrow. There is still some time left for the wedding so I suppose I should start to get to know him."

She doesn't need to mention who she means by him because you already know and a large smile sets on your face, making your cheeks hurt.

A fortnight later, you and Joshua were pronounced man and wife in front of all your loved ones. It felt surreal as you kept wondering how this flower boy became your lover boy so quickly and unexpectedly. Whatever the magic, you were glad and grateful.

Your husband later surprised you with a beautiful cottage by a magnificent lake just by the city that he had purchased for the two of you as a wedding gift. And in there, he stuck to his promise and did a great job of defiling you, again and again and again...

a/n: thank you for reading lover boy! if you enjoyed it please like, reblog and comment your thoughts! for more of my works, check out my pinned post.

wishing you a lovely day.

taglist: @shiningstar-byulxx @just-here-to-read-01 @sojohns @marksflute @paradigmax @rubyscoups @winniet @kmoon @knucklesdeepmingi @svtluvr17 (sorry to those who couldn't be tagged)

#seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #joshua angst #joshua fluff #joshua smut #seventeen joshua #seventeen #kpop imagines

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 1 year

Text

thistle, part two

a/n: that gif in the moodboard was too perfect for me not to use it. I mean just look at it, holy fuck...

summary: “what do we do?”

warnings: James Potter x reader, royal au, prince!James, servant!reader (lady's maid), forbidden romance, secret relationship, historical au (beginning of the 1920s), references to WW1, surely extremely historically inaccurate but this is just for fun, lovesick!James, crying, grief, kissing

word count: 1633

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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previous part - series masterlist

“Son, you need to take your new responsibilities seriously.”

Not even caring if his father saw, James rolled his eyes and sighed, “I don’t wanna go to another fucking ball. All the stupid meetings and new lessons are more than enough for me to have to deal with.”

Lowing his voice, the king leaned in and hissed, “you will go to that ball whether you want to or not. That is not your father asking you to, that is an order from your king. You will find yourself a queen come the end of this year, and that’s final.”

“Pa,” James exhaled and uttered of the utmost truth, “I can go to a thousand balls and still not find my queen. I won’t find her there.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, his father spoke, “please don’t tell me you’ve gotten yourself attached to that little maid…” using the same tone he would scolding a child that had disappointed him.

Taken aback by his apparent knowledge, “what?”

“Listen,” he placed a heavy hand on James’ heaving shoulder, “I don’t care. It’s fine, you can have her if you want. Having a bit of fun with the help is nothing new. You will be the king of this country, so you can damn well warm your prick wherever you’d like,” the careless words hit James like a bullet to the heart, “you just can’t marry her.”

The next thing James knew, his tight fist collided with his father’s cheekbone in a deafening blow. His rage-filled body not ready to stop at just one, wishing for nothing less than to pummel his face in, the lurking guards were instantly alarmed and held the prince back, preventing him from striking the monarch any further.

Showing no surprise at all, his father simply raised a hand for the guards to release him and huffed through his clenched jaw, “are you quite finished?” earning nothing but a furious twitch from his son, the king then frustratingly went on, “alright, look, these feelings they will pass, just wait it out, or better yet, how long has it been since you’ve had a taste of a proper lady? That’ll sure help you forget about that little whore of yours.”

With a guard still ready on either side of him, James, utterly stunned, merely spat in his father’s face, and fumed, “fuck you.”

James didn’t just walk when you spotted each other from either side of the hallway, but he actually ran towards you, as fast as his feet would let him. Yourself being too aware of the fact that there were other people present, resisted the overpowering urge to let yourself run into your lover's arms as well.

“Hi,” you exhaled as he closed in on you, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs as he wrapped his arms around you, capturing you in a long yearned-for hug.

“You’re here,” his shaky voice tickled your hair, “you’re actually here.”

Catching the odd glances offered by the passing help, you whispered, “James, people can see us.”

“I don’t fucking care,” he hissed, his arms only tightening further around your form.

Sliding your hand down to one of his, you suggested softly, “come on, let’s go back to your room,” and with an exhausted expression, James agreed and let you guide him along, though still not yielding his hold completely, his hand completely glued to yours.

Now being both in more private quarters, but also in a room with better light than what the dim palace halls offered, you caught sight of the state James’ knuckles were in. “What happened?” you held his bruised hand up and inspected the cracked skin, “are you alright?”

“It’s nothing, love,” he brushed you off, swiftly lowering his injured fist and pulling you with him as he collapsed on the bed.

“James,” you sighed, wearily sitting beside him, “that is not nothing.”

Exhaling slowly, James stared up into the canopy and uttered, “they know about us.”

Feeling all of the colour rush out of your cheeks, you breathed, “oh…”

“And they basically told me that if I married a proper lady that I could keep on being with you in secret,” the bridge of his nose twitched at the relaying of those words, “keep fucking whomever I please.”

“Oh…” you echoed, letting your head drop down low. If that was truly what it took for you to be with him, if it was the only possible way for you to have each other, then so be it. You’d rather be with him in secret than not at all.

Glancing up at you, detecting the acceptance clear in your voice, he sat back up and spoke, “I don’t want you to be a secret,” he held your hand tighter, his tone now revealing just how distressed he truly was, “don’t you get it? I love you. I love you and only you,” he spoke as it was the clearest of facts, “I don’t want you to just be some secret, I want you to be my queen!” a single tear rolled down his cheek, “if I’m forced to do this, then I want you at my side. I don’t want this, I’ve never wanted any of this! I want you! That’s all I’ve ever desired. You. Nothing else, just you.”

A couple of tears escaped as you blinked back at the broken man in front of you, “James…”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he shared hazily, “this isn’t how things were supposed to be… I was never meant to be king. Thomas was, and he was good at it too, it’s what he was raised to do. I was raised as a plan b. I liked being a plan b. Everything used to be perfect. No one would have cared whom I loved. I’ve always known that I wasn’t as important, and I liked that. It meant that I actually got to live. He didn’t get to, so I did. They sent me to fucking war without a care in the world, and sure, Thomas was a soldier as well, but only in title. He was too fucking precious and important to actually send into battle. I was dispensable, he wasn’t. He was just trying to live for once in his goddamn life and it killed him.”

As the last word escaped his lips, James melted down into you and there you stayed, a minute, two, who knows how long you just stayed right there, holding him in your arms.

“Tell me what to do…” you whispered against his temple, feeling utterly powerless, “I don’t know what to do…”

“Just hold me,” his exhaustion rang clear in his voice, “make the world disappear just for a little bit…”

“I love you,” you whimpered, planting a few gentle pecks into his hair, “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

“Nonsense,” Delilah scoffed, banging her cane lightly against the hardwood floor and stared intensely down at the young couple in front of her, “I will not stand here and have you live your life in secret.”

“But granny,” James sighed beside you, “it’s the only way.”

“No, it isn’t,” she shook her head, her dazzling earrings glistening in the low light. Exhaling slowly, her stern stare locked in on a spot on the rug beneath her feet as she hesitantly shared, “James, your grandfather wasn’t the only man I ever loved. Back when I met him, there was already someone else, someone whom I loved in a way that I never experienced again. He had no title, no money, but I loved him nonetheless. When your grandfather showed his interest in me, the other man got scared, didn’t feel like he was worthy of the love from a great lady. So, because he felt like he couldn’t compete, he made the decision for me and just removed himself from the equation. King Henry was a great man, we made a good team, but he just wasn’t my man. I’ve never stopped regretting that I didn’t fight harder for him,” finally lifting her severe gaze, she pleaded softly, “don’t make the same mistake I did.”

Glancing over at you with glossy eyes, James clutched your hand tightly, a tear rolling down his cheek as you squeezed it in return, “what do we do?”

Having the answer ready on the tip of her tongue, Delilah breathed, “we’ll spread word that you want one last night together alone. Go out into the old barn, leave a few identifiable items, your locket, Y/n, and your watch, darling, and then you are going to burn it down. Make sure to pack as little as you possibly need and go as far away as you can. Hop on a train to France and just keep going after that. Don’t look back. From this day on you will no longer be a prince and a maid, you will be just another newlywed couple moving somewhere else for a fresh start.”

“I don’t think any church in the country would marry us,” you spoke the bitter truth.

“Darling,” she raised her chin slightly and stated, “I am the former queen of this nation. If I say that you are married, then you are married,” she then promptly took the emerald-encrusted ring off of her slender finger, grabbed your palm and placed it in it, “here,” your wide eyes flickered from the striking band to the glistening eyes of the elderly royal, “your mother would have wanted you to live a bright and vibrant life filled with every colour imaginable,” she spoke as she affectionately wrapped her hand around yours, making your fingers close in around the ring, “don't sulk around in her shadow forever. Go, be happy as far away from here as you can get.”

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tenshiblogposts · 9 months

Text

Hawks x reader

Character: Tamaki Keigo / Hawks

Fandom: my hero academia.

Warnings: yandere themes, mentions of drug usage, minor character death, the pic at the end is related to said death so please proceed with caution.

Additional note: This is set in the Ancient Greek era. Might be historically inaccurate.

Also I feel like I half assed this but idk🤷🏻‍♀️

Yandere general!Hawks who from the moment he laid his eyes on you, while you were washing clothes in the river, he couldn't think about anything else.

Yandere general!Hawks who changed his ways when it came to women, he stopped sleeping around, and tried his hardest to be faithful. Although you didn't even know about his feelings for you.

Yandere general!Hawks who built a fantasy, that he so believed it was a reality, about you being madly in love with him, waiting for him every time he went to war and giving him as many children as your tantalizing body could handle.

Yandere general!Hawks who kept a very close eye on you stalking you, making sure that nobody was trying to make a stupid move on you. Nobody touches what's his.

Yandere general!Hawks who wiggled his way into your family's heart, and hopefully yours.

Yandere general!Hawks who made his presence known in your life. He stuck to you like a shadow, you must be grateful for him.

Yandere general!Hawks who had a lot of opportunities to take you away from this cruel world, to keep you safe and to himself, but decided against it. For now.

Yandere general!Hawks who brought war trophies with him for you, ranging from golden jewelry to the hearts of his enemies. He know that you'll keep them close to your pretty little heart.

Yandere general!Hawks who noticed a suspicious guy around you,smiling and laughing about one thing or another and you responding back, but you would never betray him. He knows it, he's sure of it.

Yandere general!Hawks who spotted the same guy hovering around your home in the middle of the night.

Yandere general!Hawks who saw red once you climbed down your window to meet with said guy, even daring to kiss him! Oh no! Was the guy forcing you to be with him? He can't have that!

Yandere general!Hawks who nearly abandoned his duties to make sure that you were safe, there's no way in hell he would let that scum control you! You were his and his alone!

Yandere general!Hawks who tried harder to keep tabs on everyone and everything you interacted with, from the old guy managing the food stall, to the street cat you kept feeding everyday.

Yandere general!Hawks who returned to his senses. He wouldn't abandoned his position for you, no, he will use it for his own benefit.

Yandere warrior!Hawks who had decided that enough was enough, you would be his, whether you liked it or not.

Yandere general!Hawks who saw your worried pretty face when you didn't find the old guy at the same place like every day, and saw his wife crying, saying something about someone framing him and he was going to be executed the following day.

Yandere general!Hawks who felt satisfaction when the cat you oh so cared for wasn't there. The dogs will get extra treats today.

"I am the only one deserving of your attention, my Dove"

Yandere general!Hawks who was ready to kill anyone and anything, as long as he could gaze into your pretty eyes for as long as he wanted.

"And now, for the last obstacle"

Yandere general!Hawks who formed a solid plan.

Yandere general!Hawks who "accidentally" stumbled upon you in the market, and invited you for tea at his house.

Yandere general!Hawks who was giddy the entire way back to his house once you accepted his offer.

Yandere general!Hawks who drugged you, and tied you to a chair.

Yandere general!Hawks who waited patiently for you, to show you his great achievement. You'll surely appreciate it!

Yandere general!Hawks who had his biggest gift for in the confinements of his hands, and once he saw those captivating eyes of yours fluttering open, he presented the gift to you

"Don't worry, My Dove, I took care of your pesky problem, he will never hurt you again"

#tamaki keigo x you #keigo tamaki #tamaki keigo x reader #tamaki keigo #mha tamaki #mha hawks #bnha hawks #hawks bnha #hawks x reader #hawks #yandere #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #tamaki keigo x yn #I don't own the art

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skipppppy · 11 months

Text

Anyway I’m bored and Carmen Sandiego renaissance is on the brain. What are these characters like when they aren’t focused on the main plot?? Non VILE/ACME/Caper related dialogue seems so few and far between.. I wish we got to see their lives outside work. So I made some headcanons abt it

CARMEN

Player was her first exposure to the outside world so she probably holds a lot of his nerdy interests close to her heart. She’s not the best at video games but plays them regardless. She especially enjoys sci-fi horror movies from the 80s that go big on practical effects

Finding random trivia about different countries is genuinely one of her favourite hobbies. The little info segments she does are not part of the edutainment show. She is genuinely just like that. This woman is a trove of fun facts please let her unleash them upon you

In the same vein she LOVES quizzes. After missions she will drag Team Red to any bar doing a trivia night in her vicinity and will wipe the floor with everyone there. Fear her

Enjoys people watching. It’s why she’s so good at charming strangers despite her socially stunted upbringing. She’ll sit alone in a busy train station for hours and watch everyone pass her by

PLAYER

Look. We know this kid is a nerd. It’s canon. But which niche of nerdiness does he fall into exactly?

Despite being an avid gamer he isn’t very competitive about it. He prefers single player rpgs, especially ones with active modding scenes. He doesn’t even know what vanilla Skyrim looks like he probably wasn’t even born yet when it released

He will, however, duo queue with Carmen on unranked Overwatch. They are both terrible at it and think it’s the funniest shit

Enjoys sitting back and watching a good speedrun. Will have a video of someone doing a stupid BOTW challenge in the background while he hacks security cameras and such

Runs a DnD campaign for Team Red which they’re all crazy invested in. Shadowsan is the only one who doesn’t care for it but he keeps rolling nat 20’s on the dumbest shit and derailing the campaign and he finds everyone’s reactions too entertaining to stop. They have a rivalry only a DM and a stupidly lucky rogue could have

ZACK

We already know he’s kind of a meathead that enjoys sports and cars and cheesy action movies but I also think he has a lot of softer hobbies that he keeps to himself bc he knows they won’t take him seriously

He’s a secret crocheter. He’ll mend the team’s clothes when they rip but that’s the extent of their knowledge. He’ll sit for hours by himself and knit while listening to music. Sometimes Shadowsan will find a new pair of socks in his bag. When Carmen got sick once she woke up with a handmade blanket draped over her. Ivy has her suspicions but doesn’t wanna intrude

He loves animals. He never really brings it up because no one ever asks. He always checks out local zoos and aquariums if he has the chance. Grew up watching Steve Irwin-esque nature shows and still does to this day

His love of eating is less out of greed and more his own form of cultural appreciation. Idk what happened to his and Ivy’s parents but for reasons he can’t explain their cooking is one of the few things he hasn’t forgotten, so he has a lot of sentimental food-based memories. And experiencing other countries cuisine connects him with that

IVY

PERIOD DRAMAS. They don’t have to be good they just have to be steamy. She enjoys the hot women in pretty dresses. She and Carmen watch Bridgerton together and laugh about how historically inaccurate it is

She LOVES renfaires and similar high fantasy roleplaying communities. Someone please buy this woman a suit of armour

As an engineering prodigy AND fantasy buff she has a massive interest in Blacksmithing and Swords. That’s her designated lesbian hobby. She’s been trying to politely worm her way into a conversation with Shadowsan about the blade he returned to his brother for months now but isn’t sure if it’s too personal of a topic for him so she’s nervous

Her sweet tooth encompasses more than just chocolate. She’s secretly grateful to Zack since he takes most of the flack for being a glutton. She makes note of any bakeries they pass by on capers so she can come back later in secret and go ham on the pastries

SHADOWSAN

I think his interest in Samurai history starts and ends with his love for Hideo. He’ll happily discuss it and he’s studied it passionately, but out of a sense of respect and duty to do right by the brother he betrayed

He will NEVER, EVER admit it to anyone but he genuinely misses the adrenaline rush from committing petty crimes. He was a criminal for over 20 years. Lifestyles are hard to shake and change isn’t linear. He’d never succumb to impulse but he’s just kinda bored

He microdoses on the urge by pranking people. Everyone always blames Zack so he never gets caught. He also enjoys sneaking up on people and making them jump. He’ll always insist it’s unintentional. It isn’t

He’ll read and meditate and train to keep himself centred but he’s still a rowdy young punk at heart. Team Red is the first taste of freedom he’s had after a lifetime of VILE faculty monitoring him. The first thing he bought for himself after settling in at the San Diego HQ was a motorbike. The second was a new tattoo. The third was a potentially lethal amount of whiskey that he drank in one sitting

JULIA

We know she has a passion for history outside her work in Law Enforcement so she definitely goes to all kinds of museums in her free time. She’s the kind of person who enjoys learning just for the sake of learning (she and Carmen have that in common)

Outside of that she’s surprisingly good at karaoke? She gets stage fright but really likes singing and will go all out if you hype her up. Her taste in music is the exact opposite of her appearance and personality. Lots and lots of death metal

An aficionado for different types of tea. She keeps like 10 flavours in her house at all times. She especially likes floral ones that taste light and sweet. She hates iced tea with a passion though

Goes to botanical gardens whenever the weather is warm and the season is right. She likes the history of the old manor houses but she also loves admiring the landscaping and the blooming flowers. She could sit on a bench surrounded by local flora and fauna for hours

DEVINEAUX

Chase is an entirely different person when he’s off the clock. The unhinged high-energy maniac who froths at the mouth about La Femme Rouge goes dormant once he gets home. Especially after he got stranded on VILE island. That really gave him some introspection about work/life balance

The biggest, softest, sappiest hopeless romantic you will ever meet in your life. Passion is just part of his nature and he gets his heart broken A LOT. It’s why he throws himself into his work

He’s a really good chef. Like REALLY good. Before he was a cop he did a few summers as a line cook in his teen years and he retained most of the knowledge. His pantry is STACKED and he tries out recipes he picked up from his ACME travels in his free time. He’s a tad snobby about it because he’s French but you will not complain about the stuff he feeds you

Old movie enjoyer. His favourites are film noirs, cheesy romances, creepy eastern european animation and german expressionism. He has a fervent hatred of Marvel

Also one of those insane people who get up at 5am to do cardio. One morning before a mission he met Agent Zari with barely a glisten of sweat on his forehead and sadly informed her that he only got to run 15k and he wished he had time to do more. That was the first time she ever knew fear

#carmen sandiego 2019 #cs #player cs #zack cs #ivy cs #shadowsan #julia argent #chase devineaux

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plantsjustwannahavefun · 6 months

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The connection between Izzy and Buttons in S2

Guys, I just realised something about the connection between Izzy and Buttons that could actually explain why Izzy had to die in a way that affirms the show's internal logic instead of actively contradicting it.

So, OFMD has always had a very... interesting relationship with reality. On the surface, it *is* based in reality, of course. As intentionally historically inaccurate as it is, it's still based in real life history. It's not fantasy. And yet, it's always lived in that weird liminal space between reality and fantasy. I would argue that a liberal use of huge intentional anachronisms such as singing a 20th century song in an 18th century show counts as a fantasy element. And death being treated as essentially nonexistent for characters who aren't villains, to the point where it deliberately makes fun of all real life biology and physics laws to make the characters practically unkillable so physical threats can safely be used for non-lethal drama or comedy, that's also a fantasy element. Even things like dream sequences and hallucinations (both ghosts and near death experiences) can also be said to blur the lines between reality and fantasy.

Still, in S1 all of those elements were still used in a way that had plausible deniability. Was it in any way realistic that a character could recreationally stab himself in the guts dozens of times and apparently it was totally safe and risk-free and resulted in nothing more than a scratch as long as you kept to the left side? Of course not. But it's possible to ignore it and let it slide if you try hard enough. It's still not a tangible proof of anything magical.

But what happens in S2? A man turns into a bird. Literally. This could easily have been left intentionally ambiguous, but it wasn't. It happened for real. Buttons got a book of transmogrification, found the right vessel, and bam. He's a seagull now. The first real, tangible act of magic in the book.

Narratively, the purpose of that moment was to make Ed believe that people are capable of change. Including himself. And it doesn't seem like there's anything more to it. But what does this actually mean for the internal logic of the show? It upsets the balance. A show that only had a certain level of subtle magical realism suddenly got a very tangible act of magic. What if OFMD world works just like any typical fantasy world? Meaning that there is such a thing as a certain balance that has to be maintained. So if Buttons got some "extra magic"... This meant that an equal amount of magic had to be taken away from somewhere else, in order to balance out the scales.

Now, who could be said to have an extraordinary amount of OFMD magic this season? None other than Izzy hands. The guy survived not one, not two, but THREE "fake death" experiences. He was now officially part of the unkillable Muppet cast. He even managed to utilise his new wooden leg - which, while adorable and maybe well made, is surely not very well ergonomically suited to replace a real leg - and regain his swordsmanship skills, and by episode 8 he barely had a limp anymore. And wasn't his performance just pure magic? Not just the massive anachronism but the way he had it in himself to sing a song like that in the first place, dressed in beautiful drag? The way he seemed to have such a massive amount of perfect character growth in such a short amount of time?

Well, this is what I'm saying: Izzy had to die as a consequence of Buttons becoming a bird. Izzy was the character whose OFMD magic got taken away to compensate. He lost the absurdist comedy style OFMD armour that he and every other character had this season. So of course he got killed by some stupid stray bullet that injured him offscreen, the way you'd see happen in real life, or in "serious" shows like Black Sails or Game of Thrones. And in his left side, to boot. Because the magic no longer applies. Of course getting shot in the left side of your stomach would be just about as lethal on average. And that's how we got that completely serious and dramatic deathbed scene too. Because that's what happens in real life or "realistic" TV shows. That's what happens when that little bit of subtle magic is lost.

#Izzy hands #ofmd buttons #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 1 year

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im thinking abt this post by @chuplayswithfire. thinking and considering and pondering.

people deny that ofmd is saying anything about homophobia by just denying that there's homophobia in the show at all. which is stupid, obviously, but i think people deny the existence of homophobia in ofmd for a few reasons:

homophobia is not depicted with Extremely Blatant Modern Slurs that are super recognizable to a modern audience

the existence of gay people is never questioned and nobody ever expresses shock or surprise when they learn someone is gay

ofmd doesn't bother with depicting your classic "gay sex is bad and unnatural" homophobia, and

a lot of the homophobia in ofmd is specifically about prejudice against effeminate men, which is more complicated than just Gay Sex Bad homophobia bc it intersects with misogyny and gender roles and masculinity to the point where you can't really separate any of these topics

but racism in ofmd is different because you can't deny that it's there. british soldiers call Black men "savages" and "slave" in the first fucking episode. but despite the fact that ofmd shows racism, there are still people saying ofmd isn't saying anything about it and that it's stupid for fans to analyze race in a silly romcom

i can't help but think abt how shows set in some historical time periods (or even like, high-fantasy settings) get blasted for being "historically inaccurate" for having characters of color—especially when the show doesn't have those characters face any racial biases. a neutral depiction of POC existing in a historical time period without being called slurs stands out to white viewers. they notice it, and it makes some white viewers uncomfortable.

but when POC are in "historical" shows and are getting called slurs, there's less of that discomfort. it doesn't stand out to white viewers quite the same way. there's probably still gonna be a few fucking morons who say shit like "um, Black people didn't exist in europe in 1411," but white people get less worked up as long as racism is being depicted as what they think is "historically accurate"

i feel like for the people who think it's stupid to analyze race in ofmd, they see the depiction of racism as neutral. it doesn't read as anything other than "well, that's how it was at the time." racism in ofmd isn't a theme, it doesn't mean that the show has anything to say. the racism just there, because of course it is. the existence of racism goes unquestioned.

and i think the fact that the racism in ofmd didn't stand out to people comes from the same place that has white viewers going "why is this character of color not facing bigotry in this show set in the 1920's? that's historically inaccurate!" many white viewers become uncomfortable when the bigotry they expect to see portrayed isn't there. so in ofmd, when the expected bigotry is there, there's no deeper meaning to it than "it's 1717, racism is supposed to be there"

#mine #txt #og #ofmd fandom crit #ofmd meta #meta #this is getting my meta tag bc the first bit is analyzing homophobia in ofmd #the rest is just analyzing how people in my society respond to media #a lot of white ppl get mad when their “historical” shows don't have racism in it #it's similar to how a lot of men get mad when their “historical” shows don't have sexism in it #and i think in both cases this happens bc ppl learned to anticipate those forms of bigotry being in those stories #and when u anticipate something being there and then it isn't. it's surprising. possibly disorienting #but then when ppl respond to that surprise/disorientation with anger. THAT'S where it's REALLY telling #“i expected bigotry and the lack of bigotry makes me mad!” oh? so you admit that you're comforted by portrayals of bigotry?? interesting #why do you enjoy seeing that on tv. why does a lack of bigotry upset you. tell me more.

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paperuniverse · 7 months

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I was reminded of @j-ellyfish and I’s au where Netflix makes a horrible series centring nations lives and is full of historical inaccuracies and they don’t even ask any nations for input lol. So I’ve made more headcanons.

The show keeps going on somehow despite people saying they hate it, kinda like Riverdale (they even include time travel in the later seasons too)

Season one is North American centric (aka 90% USA centric). Season two is European centric (aka a few Western European countries). Season three is Asian centric (again aka China and Japan basically). Season four North America again featuring ✨Cold War episode✨

Nations both desperately want to be featured and fear being featured in this show. They’re important enough to be on this stupid inaccurate show!

One of the creators comes forward making a statement that it wouldn’t be realistic to portray that majority of nations as queer/lgbt+. France screenshots this and tweets ‘Fellow nations please tell me if you are cishetallo, let’s see how wrong they are’. Most of the nations that reply say they are not in fact cishetallo. Nation fans clown extremely hard on the creator.

#paperuniverse post #hetalia #nations reality au #never posted from drafts lol

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muckety-mucks-i-s-goin-delux · 1 year

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@loving-jack-kelly post have me on west endsies sprace brainrot right now so thanks for that and enjoy

Race first came to Sheepshead to see papers and bet on the horses because he ain't afraid of Spot Conlon, he's a tough guy and he goes wherever he wants thank you very much and of course he said something stupid once Spot showed up to kick his ass for taking her newsies prime selling spot. And of course Spot decked him for it, no question asked.

But then Race came back. And Spot soaked him because just fuck off back to Manhattan would ya?. And then Race came back again.

And listen you gotta admire that idiots dedication. He might be stupid and have no self preservation but he is dedicated.

Meanwhile Race was smitten after the first punch Spot threw. Not that he knew it right away but that was the moment.

Now we know that Josh is a pretty solid lad, now when I saw Uksies Lillie Pear Widman was Spot (so this is my default Spot) and she is not petite but she's much smaller in statute so I bet Race made some stupid ass remark how she wouldn't be able to reach him and then she absolutely annihilated him and damn, she can throw a mean right hook.

And listen, I don't think he necessary said something sexist to her cos i think as newsies go they were pretty forward thinking (yes I'm aware that is historically inaccurate shut up) and just overall for women rights so he wouldn't necessarily said something because Spot is a girl, he would just say something because he thinks he's smooth taller and whole is usually works Spot doesn't buy his bullshit.

And Spot doesn't do bullshit, like at all. Other girlsies might use that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar until they get what they want (so when they are selling their would either try to flirt their way out - as much as the boys claim that they would "watch all the ladies watching me" or they would try the new century, times a changing we are working girls and women should support the suffragette movement so buy the pape lady approach) and if they can't they sure will beat you up but Spot doesn't do that, she doesn't need to do that because she's Spot fucking Conlon. She's telling it as it is and she would definitely call Race out on whatever he was saying. He would try to talk his way out, no chance. He would try to flirt with her, boy where did you learn that? You actually got anyone fall for that?

And listen Race consider himself to be a quick witted guy, he is downright sarcastic and Spot is right there with him, she's just as good, she keeps up, she finds a way to best him and this is the way he falls for her.

So the first time he tried to sell at the Racetrack he gets beaten up. The second and third probably as well. Later attempts end in minor threats. Until all they bicker and go on being as sarcastic as possible and seeing of the other can handle it. Unlit he's a regular, and other girlsies would trasę her that she only lets Race sell at Sheepshead cos she's sweet on him.

#sprace #im dying here #i need uksies sprace content like air #newsies #west endsies #newsies uk #uksies #sprace uksies #newsies london #newsies the musical #spot conlon #spot newsies #racetrack higgins #newsies race

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noctusfury · 1 year

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Chief of the Shivering Shores (HTTYD/Riders of Berk)

Hello, my fellow Furians! Welcome to another article for the HTTYD Fandom. Today’s topic will dive into an interesting scene of dialogue in “Dragon Flower” in Riders of Berk. In this one scene, we hear Stoick say this:

“I’m heading off to my yearly meeting with the Chief of the Shivering Shores...”

Now, the interesting thing about this is that this is literally the only mention of this “Chief of the Shivering Shores” fella in the entire franchise. Neither the rest of the DreamWorks Dragon series, nor Race to the Edge, nor the short films, nor the other films, not even the comics or video games ever mention this guy after this episode. The Shivering Shores is used as the setting for the comics and video games when it comes to dragon root and dragons and the like, but after “Dragon Flower” there is no more mention of the Chief of the Shivering Shores or the Tribe he heads.

Personally, I think this was rather stupid and bad writing. One shouldn’t introduce us to a character or a place that’s apparently “important” for the plot, and then never have them show up again. The guy literally was a straw-man plot-warmer whose only function was to get Stoick out of Berk so that the dragon flower incident would happen for THIS episode. And they had the audacity to make this guy sound like an important guy as well! Like, to the level of a jarl/earl or something. In writing, you NEVER introduce us to a person or place via mention or appearance unless they’ll be important to the plot later on. It’s just a waste of story and a plot hole.

Now, perhaps I might be a bit biased because I personally wanted to see this “Chief of the Shivering Shores” and see what the guy’s like. (I say this, but there’s no way I would’ve accepted him if he was in the comics or video games, since they’re inaccurate as catapults. XD) But oh well... I suppose I shall have to do it myself, eh? ^_^

Anyway, I’m digressing.

What’s really interesting to take note of is the only info — literally — we get on the Chief of the Shivering Shores is this:

“The last man who showed up without a gift left without a head.”

I mean, this may be the only info we get, but this is probably the most important piece of info we will probably get on the guy. Why? Because this gives us some insight on the politics in HTTYD, as well as to the implied importance that this character holds, if only in the Inner Isles or the Western Archipelago.

In HTTYD 2, Stoick mentions “a great gathering of chieftains” which was assembled to discuss the topic of the dragon scourge which plagued the Inner Isles/Western Archipelago. Essentially like the Assembly at the Thing, a historical gathering during Viking Times where Norse communities came together with markets and the like, and leaders discussed important topics and settled legal matters. Think of it like a combo of a festival, congress, and court system all at once.

In this case, this is probably purely just a gathering similar to an individual community’s Council of Elders, but with the gathering of Chieftains, with the possibility of their own Elders and Heirs attending as well. However, based on the events of Stoick’s story, it’s implied that it was just the Chieftains and they all died except for him, leaving the Heirs, which had remained unscathed, to pick up the mantles of their fathers’ chiefdoms and pick up their lives again. Obviously, Osvald the Agreeable wasn’t in this Gathering, since he died several years later after this event — either implicating that Osvald was unable to attend, or Berserker Island isn’t part of the Western Archipelago or Inner Isles (which, in fact, would be canon, since the Island of Berserk in the Books is in the Eastern side of the Archipelago).

Now, as to why what Stoick said in “Dragon Flower” concerning the Chief of the Shivering Shores is so significant is the fact that he was able to behead someone simply for not coming with a gift — and with no repercussions, at that — and that Stoick had to go to the annual meeting with the Chief of the Shivering Shores, as in actually go to the Shivering Shores at-location. And he does this annually!

“I’m off to my yearly meeting with the Chief of the Shivering Shores. The last man who came without a gift left without a head.”

From this, we know 2 things from the implications of this statement:

1) Vikings coming to the gathering are expected to come with a gift to present to the Chief of the Shivering Shores.

2) This gathering of chieftains happens every year, and is always held on the Shivering Shores.

With these two points, we can assume, then, that the Chief of the Shivering Shores must either be a High Chieftain, Jarl, or Petty King of the region, and holds a significant amount of power and influence in the political sphere of the Inner Isles/Western Archipelago. He would have to be in order for these meetings to always be held on the Shivering Shores AND to have the right to kill whomever he pleases if they don’t come with a gift or some other offense — to the effect of affecting other Chieftains, particularly Stoick, to take gifts with them when they travel to Shivering Shores.

Another reason to support this theory is the scene in the flashback we see in HTTYD 2 as Stoick tells his story with his encounter with Drago.

Obviously the quality is rather blurry regardless, as it’s a flashback, and it’s difficult to see clearly, but the one detail we can see clearly is a bearded Viking sitting on an elaborately carved chair / throne of two dragon heads intertwined. When you compare the throne to the others in the rest of the cutscenes, you’ll notice that they’re not as elaborate as the one that one Viking is sitting.

Even Stoick’s throne is rather simple in nature compared to the “Dragon Throne”. Then there’s the dozen or so Vikings that are sitting on tables, though we can’t be certain whether they’re chieftains or retainers belonging to those chieftains. No details are said nor shown.

Regardless, this scene, if we take what we’ve gleaned from “Dragon Flower” and HTTYD 2 thus far, both in quotes and in scenes, we can make an educated guess/assumption that the Viking in that elaborate throne might possibly be the Chief of the Shivering Shores.

Due to this, I headcanon that the Chief of the Shivering Shores rules over either the Inner Isles or the Western Archipelago, and the other chieftains are his subordinates. Or, at the very least, has enough strength, influence, power, and charisma to cause other chieftains to defer to him as an authority-figure. Because there is no way in Helheim that he can decapitate a man for not bringing a gift without retribution unless he’s a powerful authority-figure who can get away with it.

I also headcanon that the reason — or one of the reasons — for the gift-giving is as a security measure. Since Drago came along and killed all the chieftains at the gathering 10 or so years before, and with dragons no less, and did all of this without presenting any gifts, it’s obvious that from now on, anyone who comes without a gift is obviously a spy working for Drago, and thus should be eliminated. And the others, who also lost their predecessors, would mostly likely agree to this, not wanting a repeat of what happened last time.

There’s also the possibility that the Chief of the Shivering Shores knows about Berk living with dragons, since Stoick was able to fly to the Shivering Shores and back on Thornado unscathed, without any Vikings trying to kill them. Though, whether this means that they know and accept (or tolerate) this or Stoick hid Thornado and kept the fact that he flew to the Shivering Shores on a dragon a secret will never be known. Though I’m not sure how he’d be able to do so without anyone raises a few eyebrows. But whatever. I guess it’s up to us to decide on what happened there.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about the Chief of the Shivering Shores. I had a fun time writing this article and I hope you enjoyed it, too. Thank you for reading. ^_^

What do you guys think? Who do you think the Chief of the Shivering Shores is as a character? Do you agree with what’s written in this article, or do you have a separate idea of what he’s like?

If you have any theories, headcanons, ideas, etc, concerning the Chief of the Shivering Shores, please reblog and give us your two-pence. ^_^

See you in the next article! Have a marvelous New Year!

Long Live the Night!

— Noctus Fury

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djemsostylist · 7 months

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Rome, Part 2a: A History Desecrated

Okay, so the title is a little dramatic, but honestly, not that inaccurate. Rome is accurate the way Kingdome of Heaven is accurate--the major events happen, though not in the same way or for the same reasons or even always with the same people as they did historically.

Rome assumes, to it's detriment, that the reader has read about the Roman Empire, and knows what the hell is going on. It also assumes that building any sort of relationship between any of the characters--all of whom had, rather famously, deep, abiding connections that stretched back 30+ years before the events of Rome, is utterly unnecessary. These people had large, extended families, multiple children, relationships with each other and with other, smaller players, who were nevertheless important.

We'll start with the characters I think, to keep things simple. The show focuses on the historical characters of Caesar, Marc Antony, Pompey, Cicero, Brutus, Cato, Cassius (a more minor character), as well as Servilia, Atia, Octavian, and Octavia.

The characters, by and large, bear little to no resemblance to their historical counterparts. Though of course there is always room for interpretation (and bearing in mind that I am hardly an expert in the field), the characters feel less like actual people who once lived and more like clichés. Caesar here is mostly exceedingly British--stiff upper lip, inscrutable, devoid of the charisma and charm that made him so successful. The Caesar of the HBO is not a man who could shame an army into leaving off a rebellion merely by giving them what they wanted. In fact, this Caesar is so unremarkable, that I don't even really have much more to say about him. He exists. He is accompanied mostly by Mark Antony, who here, save Pompey, is probably the closest to his historical counterpart, save for being significantly stupider. This Antony gets no real moments to shine, as most of his savvy moves are preempted by bullying from Atia (who here plays his mistress--his first wife and children do not exist). They even take away his speech at Caesar's funeral--he is entirely portrayed as oafish, boorish, and horny.

Pompey is probably the most accurate, although it's honestly not hard to portray a sad old man at the end of his story, spurred on mostly by the Senate, which is pretty much how he is portrayed here. Cicero is played as a mostly sputtering sad sack (who, like Antony, has no family), and he borders on whiny and weenyish in a way that feels both cliched and grating. Brutus is fine, I suppose, if uninspiring--he exists mostly to be used, much like Antony--his only real convictions occur when someone makes his tummy hurt. Which, while perhaps not wholly inaccurate, just reads like he is a petulant child, driven by the whims of others. The other two anti-caesarians here are Cassius, who is much like Brutus--fine, if uninspiring, and Cato, who here is Cato the Elder, who plays the same character the actor played in the movie Hot Fuzz, so I feel like that says everything really.

If the men are mostly boring clichés with a single, overexaggerated trait, the women are SO. MUCH. WORSE. Atia, here a main character is vain, selfish, cruel, manipulative and self-serving. While the historical Atia is mostly a background player, here, Atia is front and center as she seems to be multiple historical ladies rolled into one (bc Rome seems allergic to having both large families and multiple female characters of the same generation). Servilia, a major secondary character in the show, is vain, selfish, cruel, manipulative, and self-serving. (Are we sensing a theme?) Caesar's third wife exists in approximately 3.5 scenes, but in the moments we see her she is vain, selfish, cruel, manipulative, and, you guessed it, self-serving. Octavia then, is a breath of fresh air! In her role she is portrayed as shallow, drippy, whiny, spineless, and useless, which is a honestly a refreshing change. This Octavia is incredibly stupid, easily manipulated (she has an affair with Servilia who convinces her to sleep with Octavian to pry info out of him, I'm not making this up), and prone to fits of crying and teenagerish whining. Cleopatra then, almost doesn't bear mentioning, but the drugged out, baby voiced, sex pest version somehow makes the other women almost seem to be treated respectfully by comparison. The women of this show, far from caring anything about the republic, society, or the men they should love and support, instead are absorbed in a constant series of catfights and backstabbing, and the plots resemble nothing so much as a Real Housewives of Rome show. The women who are treated the best are the two lowerclass women, the wives of our "heroes", both of whom are only married to their husbands through fear and coercion, and who live in fear of violence and the threat of death, which somehow feels grosser to me than if they were given the same treatment as the other women.

Octavian and his merry band are headscratchers--we spend the entirety of the first season with Octavian, whose only real friend is Titus Pullo (a man hired by his mother) and perhaps the sister he inexplicably sleeps with, only for the second season to start and the narrative to helpfully inform us that he actually has TWO super close friends who we have never heard of before, and oh here they are. The question of when he had time to make and meet these friends is bizarre, but both Agrippa and Maecenas here suffer from the same cliché disease the rest of the men suffer from, which leaves Agrippa some sort of overly saccharine cinnamon roll and Maecenas a bored trust fund baby with slightly strange inclinations. Octavian, after spending three months becoming an entirely different person, remains "smart" in the way writers think smart people work, meaning he knows things he shouldn't, is kind of a freak, and never smiles.

But perhaps the most egregious bit about the historical characters of Rome is the fact that none of them have any sort of relationship at all to each other, let alone their families. The only married couple with children we see on the show is Pompey and his post-Julia wife--literally NO ONE else is married or has kids. At all. Cicero dies alone with only his slave, Servilia dies alone with only her slave, Brutus and Cassius die alone with only their slaves, Atia doesn't die and I guess she does have children, but neither of her children have children (incredibly strange considering Octavia was mother to like, 10 children, biologically, foster, step--you name it), and Antony dies with only two children (his twins with Cleopatra, as here he does not have any children prior, since he was never married to his first wife and Octavia's ONLY CHILD (a girl, named Antonia) is actually Agrippa's.) Half of the Julio-Claudian dynasty just doesn't exist in this Rome.

And neither do any prior relationships. Caesar and Brutus have like, exactly two scenes together, and Caesar and Cicero's scenes are mostly Caesar being a dick and Cicero blubbering. There is no indication that any of these people were friends, had worked together, had love, respect or ANYTHING. The Civil War has basically no feeling to it, because why should it? These people mean nothing to each other, so who cares who lives or who dies?

While I'm generally annoyed at modern interpretations of historical characters, here it feels almost as if the writers had some personal vendetta against them, particularly the women. The way in which the characters are written feels pointed, although I'm hard pressed to figure out what exactly they want us to see. But Rome feels smaller, somehow, and less grand, and more like a story we've seen before, a thousand times, and less the start of one of the most famous empires the world has ever known.

#hbo rome #this show was so fucking bad im sorry #and i havent even gotten to the really bad stuff yet #just roman things #oh look djem hates historical dramas #shocking i know

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seven-dragons · 2 years

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I have watched The Movie That Shall Not Be Named

It’s the best Jane Austen adaptation I have ever seen WHERE THE TITLES ARE IN ALL CAPS.

In all seriousness, the movie is not a classic but it’s entertaining. Obviously as an Austen adaptation it is terrible but I wondered if it might be good as a generic pseudo-historic movie. It’s ok, not great. It goes for a Bridgerton vibe and doesn’t quite pull it off. One of the major flaws is that not only are the characters inaccurate portrayals of the book, they also don’t make any sense for the film story.

Henrietta and Louisa are much better humans in the film than in the book. Mary is somehow worse. Mrs. Smith is ??? Mrs. Russel is thoroughly modern which makes it weird that she is the one opposed to Anne’s marriage, especially since in the first 5 minutes of the movie she was like “sry I was wrong about that.”

Wentworth looks like someone dragged him out from under a bridge and made him captain. He is entirely without charm. He and Anne have no chemistry. Louisa in this version is intelligent and even tempered and a good match for Wentworth. So everything that flows from her being flighty and Wentworth throwing himself at someone who was obviously not his type just to show up Anne isn’t there. Also her sudden leap from the wall was silly because the Louisa in this film was not that stupid. Mr. Elliott is cartoonishly evil. Henry Golding is so wasted in that part.

CAPTAIN Wentworth of the NAVY doesn’t know what a rip tide is.

Someone please invent Alcoholics Anonymous so Anne can go.

The dialogue was awful, either completely modern, talking about transactional relationships and self-care and “the universe has a plan”, or forced historical like instead of Austen they were going for Shakespeare and failed at that too. Anne’s constant talking to the viewer is jarring. If these had just been voiceover narration it would have worked better. All the characters spend a lot of time explaining whole parts of the book they couldn’t be bothered to show.

The scenery and visuals are good. Some of the modern jokes and other humorous bits are funny. Richard E. Grant’s Sit Walter is excellent on par with Bill Nighy in Emma.

#persuasion #jane austen

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realcatalina · 2 years

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Everything wrong with Spanish Princess-1x04

TSP had no idea what English custom were at Tudor times.

It was against customs for royals to go to funeral! It was not unusal at all that Henry VII wouldn’t attend his wife’s funeral.

Elizabeth was mourned yes(big time), however her death didn’t cause public to turn against Tudors. Margaret Beaufort was no spymaster and Wolsey wasn’t her agent.

Showing the lion without explaining it was Henry VII’s gift to Elizabeth of York, makes whole scene meaningless. Because majority of people don’t know about this, and it just makes whole scene alward. Why is the lion there?!

Lady Margaret wanting Catherine out-again vilifying her! Lady Margaret was historically for match between Harry and Catherine!!!

Scene in church is very odd-especially prince’s shirt. If that was attempt at blackwork, it failed miserably.

Bull is sacred, a deity?! Holy shit, this show is ripping Catherine’s piety to shreds. They make her heretic! And worst-pep talker ever! Her story would make nobody feel any better. It makes no sense, bull still died of his injuries.

Love birds before their marriage was decided upon? More of Catherine’s pedophilia! (Because she is flirting with child!) More of Rosa ruining herself and being immoral-because aparently everybody was according to TSP. More of poor and dark English court.

Buckingham wasn’t part of council at that time. Lady Margaret was not official regent back then, but she was ruling for a while(while her son mourned) and nobody bat an eye! By the way de la pole never managed to raise an army. They make lady Margaret into power-hungry villain. She wouldn’t call herself a King. No way!

The idea that lady Margaret had spies all over England and still they didn’t manage to check bedsheets for signs of sex is riduculous.

What was Catherine applying they were doing with Arthur in their bed, if not sex?! The conversations throughout the TV show is often a word salad! I kind of feel pitty for actors for having to say these poor-written lines!

Lady Margaret is right by pointing lying is sin and is right to not believe the version this Catherine presents. It!’s such obvious lying!

Because if Catherine was in good health fallowing Arthur’s health(which she was not, because she caught it too), it’d be most suspicious, if she didn’t say she was virgin straight away and let people in suspence over if she was virgin or not.

Catherine was not thrown from the palace. Her own parenst demanded she had separate household-her own, after Elizabeth of York died!!!

All of this is false! And wrongfully villifying lady Margaret Beaufort.

Fake flashback scene with warrior Isabella being wounded from battle(despite her never actually fighting in any!)

Tudor men apparently shave their chests and their hands. News to me. But they don’t all shave their beards-which is historically inccorect! At least for season 1.

Louis VII was married at the time, how could Catherine marry him?! What are they suggesting-bigamy?

Henry knew his scriptures, but he wouldn’t call spanish alliance their holy grail-this is so false! Right now lady Margaret is only one rightfully concerned by Catherine’s horrible character. That more characters are not pointing it out, is actually very weird. Is it attempt to potray Tudor men as stupid and Catherine being able to outsmart them? Idk.

Durham house was very noble house, suitable for any princess.(I’ll make post about it). They make it so small and, fit for maybe 10 people max. Not 50+ household.

By the way, no way wedding was set for summer 1503. Henry was to be 11 at summer 1503! Also lady Margaret didn’t ursupe anything, nor was Henry VII allowing her to bully Catherine, nor did Henry VIII ever had falling out with his grandmother. NONE OF THIS HAPPENED!

Once again weird conversations between Catherine and Margaret Tudor. Very lazy writing, and set to apparently show Catherine as strong.

Lady Margaret taking her son’s letters without asking?! Oh dear lord! This is getting more inaccurate longer you watch this.

Edmund de la Pole’s identity was long known by time of Elizabeth of York’s death. Habsburgs never supported him! Had no reason to give him funds to raise an army. AND once again English treasury was not empty!!!

Dudley, yes helped fill royal coffers, but not by giving fines for ridiculous thing.(this is misleading though not entirely untrue) Henry VII himself did tons to raise royal revenues and achieved decent income by 1503.

Incorrectly stating de la Pole was in Flanders raising army-while in fact he was imprisoned. It was Philip, who didn’t want to hand him over(not his father), fearing English would execute him. Idk why he was bothered by it.

Soldiers being treated as property, as part of dowry?! English at the time were not involved in slavery! And that is exactly what basically was proposed in that council scene! And is totally untrue!

By the way, suddenly Catherine is humble and not demanding bitch?! People’s personalities don’t change so easily. Unless she has big mental issues. Idk-borderline personality disorder, narcism? But clearly not right in her head!

Catherine acts as if she is willing to fallow God, yet she breaks his rules!!! They make her into total hypocrite!

Tbh, the damask for Margaret Tudor’s dress would be way more better for Catherine’s wedding dress, than the horrible satin damask they used! This is way whiter! (would be still wrong fabric, but acceptable.)

More vilification of lady Margaret, making it seem as if she is dictator and everybody fears her, while in fact she was loved and respected and fun to be with. (how do you think she charmed Edward IV to give her son back his lands? Not by being a bitch! By being eloquent and fun.)

Henry VIII wasn’t allowed to visit Catherine and do as he pleased, he was kid after all and sole heir to England. His father was very protective of him(too much actually).

Oh now her personality returns! The demanding b, who really dislikes the poor house-which Durham House was not! Bitching that man is grieving and not doing her bidding. Catherine’s life in Durham was never described as beneat her station by ambassador nor dona Elvira, i understand she was without money(though imo because dona Elvira stole it not because Henry VII did not give any-check my posts about spanish correspondece for more about that), but not living in horrible place.

Harry was child and would not be allowed at council meetings. Good arguments on lady Margaret’s part for why such bitch Catehrien would want to be married to next heir. But zero reasoning why Catehrine would be stripped of her luxuries at that moment. Poorly written.

More fake plotline between Lina and Ovieto, more of wickedness. More of Harry sneaking out to flirt with Catherine, when he was child! And wouldn’t hunt with crossbow, but longbow.

Henry is right to point Catherine is being greedy and she is completely wrong to say they were equal. BUt as in real life Catherine sometimes did forget that they were not, I’ll leave them that.

Letters between Catherine and Isabella are such lazy writing and totally false. Isabella making it seems as pope’s dispensation was something impossible. Dear lord!

Catherine is having episode! As in-get her to psychiatric ward, this is not normal. Screaming upon reading letter!

“I am not coming home! That will not be my fate! I will be Queen of England!”

It’s mental! and so untrue. Isabella wanted this new match! Ferdinand wanted it too(and i do’t get why they leave him from corespondence). He needed this match to keep France in check! As they threatened his Italian holdings!

Lady Margaret seeing oranges for first time? Oh lord. Yes, they were unusual and rare, but not unknown to royal courts in northern royal courts.

Real Catherine’s confessor straight out said marriage was consumated(idk why he said so, but he certainly wasn’t only confessor of Catherine who misinterpreted some things), why would lady Margaret mention him and then want the answer to this from lady Pole?! Lady Pole lies, setting herself for hell.

Lady Margaret banishing lady Pole, and is acting as crazy person. Totally untrue. Lady Pole wasn’t banned from court, but there was no Queen, so few ladies remained at court.

Edmund de la Pole was locked up by the time supposedly he met lady Pole. By the way, if we fallowed York succesion(and go through female line to males), then Henry VIII would be next York heir, then lady Pole’s son, and then Edmund de la Pole. So why would she support de la Pole over her own son, over her own claim?! It makes no sense!!!

Lady Margaret acting like Vader, marching among troops.

Lady Margaret speaks Spanish?! This is untrue! (though it’d be cool if true).

Henry VIII being totally uncaring about his sister Margaret-which is untrue. Though they weren’t closest of siblings(his personality was more alike with his sister Mary). Margaret Tudor set for Scotland in June 1503, from Richmond Palace. Very lavish, modern, and very large palace. Much larger than any place they used for filming.

Also in this scene of saiyng goodbye to Margaret Tudor, Henry VIII is already taller than his father. He was in fact 12, and though he started to sprung up, Henry VII was tall too, so he wasn’t smaller than his son. Yet.

More flirting between child and grown girl. Henry VII announces he shall wed infanta. This never happened! He actually never even asked for her hand. Puebla wrote such match was rumoured at court(just after Elizabeth of York died) and Isabella said it was impossible.

I disliked most of what i found in corespondence between Spain and England at that time(see posts about it), but I have to give credit to Isabella for this-she didn’t want her daughter to marry old man, and she said no. Even though he wasn’t asking.

Henry VII saying his kingdom was best and all of christendom would bow to them?! No sane King would say such thing in public. He’d make all christendom as his enemy. This is crazy!

So poorly written! And it is continuous issue with TSP. There usually is no more than minute of good dialog per episode. And they talk all the time!

#historical inaccuracies #the spanish princess tv show #i still hate it

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