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#this shouldn't have given me gender envy like this
duskwingmoth · 3 months
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notes and highlights from reading my discord message history (2016):
girl u used to be so sillay. I should get silly with it sometimes
2016 me was a little confused but was also so fucking right about lars steven universe
ough. Failure to recognize imminent trump presidency. You stupid fucking liberal ffs
do u rember enjoying overwatch. I rember...
Liveblogging the sonic 2016 stream like "this new charmy bee album is bussin"
"I just saw the quintessential torb potg"
"beginning with him dying"
hanging on his corpse for the full respawn timer"
"while his turret did the hard work"
"predictably nowhere onscreen"
I was the first drop dash hater. If there are no more drop dash haters i am dead
attempting to read through this sexting now KNOWING FOR SURE i was absolutely faking it is. cringe
S. Skoop. I forgot that i called skype "skoop" (and that there was a brief period where i had it on my phone while discord was on my pc)
Talking about multiple story/game concepts i have since abandoned. Death
Doesn't matter if it's 2013, 2016, or 2024; somebody somewhere is complaining about JJ Abrams. It is probably me
There was a dang stevenbomb when these messages start and tbh I was right on the money abt steven universe in general. More ppl should have listened to me instead
huniepop lmao
I was still in iPhone Hell
Making comments to friends about things i refuse to share or elaborate on. I have learned nothing
playing ALL the hits tbh we even got Complain About Family in here
Scoutposting but it's overwatch
"defense shouldn't have left the point undefended"
Bitch shut UP about Pokémon
Oh my GOD just Shut Up About Video Games in general
The Sword Art Online hater has logged on
All these tumblr links that don't work anymore. Sad
How did i make it to 22 without realizing i was experiencing caffeine withdrawal
Yes yes past robin you've got nintendo diagnosed as fuck can you not sound rude and elitist and also cryptoracist about it
(three hours worth of messages just ranting about nintendo jfc. 2009 youtube would have loved me)
The Traumadumping,
Watch watch. You can see the exact moment steven universe rips her heart in half
Reading through basically all the previous things in varying order. Knowing what's coming up.
The moment
Oh no... The Federation Force announcement. The five stages of grief logged in real time
girl your dick was not out for harambe you did not even know what that meant
Hare-brained game concepts part 3027498: radio station with hundreds of hours of recorded dj voice lines
360 controller sucks send post
It is so easy to tell what youtube poop i was hyperfixated on at any given point
girl u really went looking for and personally banned specific slurs in your twitch chat and proceeded to NEVER STREAM. Self-harm champion. Self-harm's strongest warrior
Oh my god. The inception of steam user gofasthog was on my birthday
Is sent jerma rumble live-action with no prior knowledge or context. Complains
Affirming my girlfriend's life choices and gender. Rare pre-crack based moment
Not long now
The PSVita Chronicles. Very short-lived
"Why is twitter orange" wtf are you on about
September 26th, 2016; 09:00 AM PDT:
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There really is like. A shift in my tone after this. Immediately so much performative anger is just gone
"I'm trying not to think about it tbh" no you should be thinking about it more. More please for your health pLEASE think of the hips you are going to lose your chance
Lesbian Gay Bacon Tomato Quiche Ice Arson. I cracked the code
Impostor syndrome. Envy. Jealousy. Girlthing you need to chill
Posting through having my shoes disintegrate instead of asking for a new pair. Lol. Lmao even
Finally watched the jerma rumble series and enjoyed myself. The redemption arc we all deserved and didn't know we needed
Utterly failing to code basic game functions. I needed my girlf frend to help me she is so smart and cute and lovely
the wii u woes
And the switch jokes. They're bad! They're very bad
I had played the paladins beta. You can tell because i complained about torbjörn overwatch again
Civ VI release date, or: how i learned that having good CPU was actually really important
Also the day i committed to my new name
More coding failure
Mere hours before the election polls are called it dawns on us both that we really are going to get a trump presidency and i weep with despair while trying to convince us both that the worst won't happen
(It didn't. We are alive and together)
You can see me desperately struggling with the growing reality that i am not as politically reasonable as i consider myself
A dark pall over the holidays. I won't elaborate. I don’t think it's necessary
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pazodetrasalba · 5 months
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To Her Coy Master
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Dear Caroline:
This was a delightful reworking of Andrew Marvell's original poem, including reversed gender roles, reappropriation and wittiness galore. I guess you would have made a great writer, and there's still time and opportunity for this to actually become a reality.
Apart from the able wordsmithing, what strikes me the most is how outrageously passionate you appear in these lines. Granted, literature has always an element of the theatrical and performative: the poetic persona is a mask the writer creates, connected in complex and dubious ways with the author in most cases. Still, I am pretty sure at guessing that the fervor is real, and denotes a facet of your personality which only a few privileged people get to know about.
Given what we know about your relationship with Sam, it seems pretty clear that this was written with him in mind, at about the same time he was moving to Hong Kong and you were sending him a memo which Michael Lewis has luridly exploited to the full. Nobody in their right mind would envy Sam today, but I really wish I had been in his shoes in late 2018, and not for the billions - I really don't give a damn about money as an end in itself, and marginally more so as an instrumental means-, but for the blessing he enjoyed of holding the key to your heart and your affections. But in this, as in so many other instances, life likes to make fools of us, and greatly mismatch what we desire and what we have.
To a great extend, your feelings and your words were wasted on Sam. I suppose at this time he might have made it known to you what he has since made known to the world: an arrogant disdain for culture in general, and Shakespeare in particular, and a non-appreciation for books (“I think, if you wrote a book, you fucked up, and it should have been a six-paragraph blog post”). Such comments have probably gone a long way to deactivate my innate co-sympathy for nerds in his case, and to act in the exact opposite direction as regards you.
After all that has taken place, you might feel embarrassed at having written and made public this text. That shouldn't be the case. You know my inclinations are deontological, so I'd say that your intentions and feelings when you wrote it were noble enough, and one should never feel ashamed of having loved, whatever the results and consequences in the end. The only thing that is good in itself is the “good will.”
Quote:
My love is of a birth as rare
As ’tis for object strange and high;
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibility.
Andrew Marvell
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tuesdayscanons · 1 year
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I hopped on the bandwagon even though I probably shouldn't have given how unbalanced this tier list is. (Games that I have no particular ranking for are in as close to chronological order as I can).
Starting with Nostalgia Tier—I haven't replayed these games (at least, not start to finish) since childhood, but I have fond memories of them. They're in chronological order (even though Platinum should be higher than DP for Giratina alone) because my memories are vague and it doesn't feel fair to rank them without having a fresh experience.
I Love It— Though I was initially nervous about pre-ordering it given my regret over buying Sword + DLC, I'm absolutely glad I gave Scarlet a chance. It's one of my favorite Pokémon games of all time—having the freedom to roam around, compelling characters that give me gender envy, a prehistoric motorcycle lizard who is my best friend...there's so much to love about it. Even if there's stuff I miss (like Pokémon Contests or Amie/Refresh), it doesn't feel as noticeably absent as other games. There's even mini-games in Scarlet, which I wasn't expecting—as in, mini-games you can do after post-game. It's no Pokéathelon, but I'm glad there's at least something there.
BDSP gets its own tier because I have complicated feelings about it. Do I wish I had something more, especially given my nostalgia for HGSS? Yes. Did I get some enjoyment out of it anyway, despite its flaws? Also yes. The tier is only so close to the top because I wanted it near Nostalgia tier, but it's not directly below it since I can't justify placing it higher than Scarlet.
If you asked me in 2017, Sun/Moon would be in "I Love It". Upon replaying it, the game was more of a slog than I remembered it being. I had to wait, like, an hour before I could even buy glasses! Scarlet gave me glasses for free! I'm still fond of the Sun/Moon characters, but I do not want to go through that tutorial again. X/Y is below it because I haven't gotten to play it until recently (went straight to Sun/Moon when I got my 3DS and getting X/Y wasn't a high priority). I moreso like the idea of what the game could've been than the game itself. I really like Amie too (which I found out about through Alpha Sapphire) and could totally see myself returning to the game just for Amie.
Alpha Sapphire is neutral for now because I have played it a little, but don't really remember anything from the playthrough. I could see myself potentially liking it.
Sword/Shield has some interesting character designs/town designs, but it felt like a slog to get through. I was amazed when I first started playing because I hadn't seen an "HD" Pokémon game before, though that novelty wore off quickly. I don't really appreciate being chased by Pokémon more than twice my current level either.
LGPE seems like fun—I was considering getting it instead of Sword in 2021, but I thought it would've been better to play the new gen instead. I'm disappointed I missed out on an opportunity to ride on a Shiny Charizard. Seems childish, but the nostalgic factor (I loved the anime) is appealing for me.
Then there's the games I wasn't old enough to experience upon release—not sure if I'll play any of them (especially when some of them already have remakes that I currently own). I own a Ruby cartridge, but nothing to use it with.
USUM isn't appealing to me because I already played SM. The Ultra whatevers aren't worth paying $30-$40 for the same game with an even longer tutorial. As for Legends, it doesn't seem to have a lot going on tbh. Seeing PLA stans constantly shove it down other people's throats and act as if it's objectively superior to every mainline game completely turns me off from it. Not to mention, I already felt anxious in the Sword wild area. Having wild Pokémon attack me would make my anxiety worse.
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oakleaf--bearer · 3 years
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transmasc barnes with visable top surgery scars bc he wears his shirts Like That
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