#this sentiment came up because my mom told a friend that i am wasting my skills because i am not trying to pursue a career in art

[roseofmortality]

my pursuit of art alone is worth more to me than all the money people think it could bring me. i do not draw or paint in order to become good enough in the eyes of some industry bigwig, i do it to stay sane. if you tell me i am 'wasting' my 'talent' or something like that, that tells me my art is not meant for your eyes and i will take it elsewhere. in short, i don't need nor want to make money off my art in order to know its worth. and fuck everyone who thinks i should turn one of my favorite activities into work for the sake of a capitalist venture.

#merctxt #me #tagging this as me in case anyone wants to try telling me i should make money off my art #i only draw what the fuck i wanna draw #this sentiment came up because my mom told a friend that i am wasting my skills because i am not trying to pursue a career in art #she didn't even get the right field cause she pointed to an anime and said 'YOU COULD BE DOING THAT' #like naw the fuck i can't #i have no plans to learn animation in the slightest LOL #and a DOUBLE FUCK YOU to anyone pushing their artistic friends/family/etc to go to disney specifically cause disney sucks shit

[littlegnoblin]

Happy Valentine’s Day to my best friend and other half @donestiel

read on ao3

Dean comes home from work to find Cas and Jack sitting at the table, red heart-shaped lollipops strewn in front of them. 

He gives Cas a quick kiss. “You trying to give the kid a sugar rush or what?” 

“Daddy! It’s for Valemtime’s Day!” Jack yells excitedly, hopping off his chair to hug Dean’s legs.  

“It’s pronounced valentine, Jack.”

“I don’t know, valemtime kinda has a nice ring to it,” Dean says. Jack beams up at him and he can’t help but ruffle his hair. 

“Yes, well, the holiday has become so bastardized that I suppose renaming it wouldn’t hurt.” Cas squints at the box the candy came in. “Does no one find it odd that their children are passing around cards demanding others belong to them?”

Dean sits down and pulls Jack into his lap, flipping through the little pink cards. “I don’t know that you’re supposed to think about it that hard, dude.” He comes across a card that reads ‘kiss me’ and holds it up. “This, on the other hand-- they’re five, what the hell do they need to be kissin’ for?”

“I want kisses!” Jack protests. 

“You’re a little kiss monster.” Cas leans in and presses a big, exaggerated smooch to Jack’s cheek. “How was that? Did it satisfy the beast?”

Jack giggles and nods enthusiastically. 

“Hey, I’m gonna need to sample one of those kisses myself. Make sure they’re regulation-- standard procedure.”

“Is that right?”

“‘Fraid so,” Dean says with a shit eating grin. 

He’s expecting a goofy kiss like the one he gave Jack but Cas uses his thumb to tilt Dean’s chin just so and kisses him deeply. 

They break apart when two tiny hands push at their faces and Jack tells them to knock it off. 

“This is what Valentine’s Day is all about, champ. Besides, I thought you liked kisses.”

“You guys do it gross.” 

Dean smiles and bounces his eyebrows at Cas, who rolls his eyes but can’t hide the small curl of his mouth. 

“Perhaps your father will help you write your classmates’ names on the cards while I get dinner ready.”

“I can cook,” Dean says quickly. The thought of Cas’ last attempt at cooking has his stomach churning and he’s pretty sure feeding that toxic waste to Jack would be considered child abuse. 

Cas holds up a cardboard box. “It’s frozen pizza.”

“Alright, I’ll do babysitting duty. Just make sure you take the plastic off this time.”

“It’s not babysitting when it’s your own child and that was one time.”

“One time too many,” Dean mutters.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Nothing, dear.”

Cas glares at him. “I expect you to eat a healthy portion of salad along with your pizza tonight.”

“You making it yourself or is it bagged?”

The glare intensifies. 

Jack tugs on his sleeve. “Daddy, did you like doing valentine’s stuff in school?”

“Nah, it, uh-- it wasn’t really a thing when I was your age.” 

That’s a blatant lie but Dean’s not going to tell him the truth and bum him out. What five year old wants to hear that their dad didn’t do Valentine’s Day exchanges because there was barely enough money for food, let alone candy, and he never really stuck around any school long enough to get included in the holiday stuff. Shit’s depressing. 

“So you never got no cards or nothin’?”

“Nope.” Dean never got cards but he did get invited under the bleachers a few times in high school to unwrap a different kind of present. He’s not telling him that either, though. 

“That sucks. Can I have a lollipop?”

“Nice try, kid.” Dean taps on the card in front of them. “Get to writing.” 

He oversees the careful labelling of the cards, reminding Jack to double check the list of names anytime he spells something wrong and corrects a few backwards letters. They debate who gets what card and Jack complains that he has to give one to Tom who keeps cutting him in line. 

Cas rejoins them in the middle of Jack’s impassioned rant, hiding his smile behind his hand. 

“While I agree that Tom is a-- what was it you called him?”

“A butthead.”

“Yes, right, a butthead. While I agree he is a butthead, unfortunately I think you need to be the bigger person. Maybe this will even convince him to stop cutting in line and you two can be friends.”

“No way. I don’t wanna be friends with Tom.”

“You never know,” Dean says. “I didn’t like your dad when we first met, but I think he’s a pretty okay guy now.”

Jack looks at him wide eyed. “You didn’t like Daddy?”

“No way, he was a butthead.”

“It was more of a misunderstanding,” Cas explains. 

“Oh is that what we’re calling it?”

Cas lifts an eyebrow and stares him down. “What would you call it, Dean?” 

Shit, that should not be so hot. 

“Not the point; the point is that I didn’t think I would ever like your dad and now we’re married. Things change.”

Jack furrows his brows, considering. “I don’t want to marry Tom.”

Dean snorts. “You don’t have to. In fact, please don’t. His mom is a nightmare.” Cas kicks him under the table. “What! She is!”

“You don’t have to marry him and you don’t have to be friends with him,” Cas says, ignoring Dean completely, “but you do have to give him a card and some candy.” 

Jack grumbles but does as he’s told. Dean’s legs are starting to fall asleep but he’s become increasingly aware of how fast Jack is growing up and soon-- way too fucking soon, if you ask him-- he won’t be sitting in his lap at all so he silently resigns to not feeling his legs for the next ten minutes. 

“All done!” Jack yells and throws his hands in the air. 

“Sweet, now let's stick some candy in these bad boys and call it a night.”

“Wait, there’s a extra, what should I do with it?”

“Is there anyone who’s not in your class that you’d like to give a valentine to?”

Jack gasps and slaps a hand over Dean’s eyes, nearly poking one out in the process. “Close your eyes, Daddy!”

Dean dutifully closes his eyes until Jack tells him he’s finished. He slowly opens one eye and sees the pink card held about an inch from his face.

“For me?” he gasps dramatically.

“Yes!”

The front of the card reads ‘You’re the best!’ and when he opens it, he finds ‘Daddy’ written in some of the neatest handwriting from Jack he’s ever seen. Beneath it he’s signed his name, the K backwards like it always is on his first try. 

“I gave it to you because you never had one before and also you’re the best daddy ever, who makes me yummy chocolate chip pancakes and cheeseburgers and does funny voices for bedtime stories,” Jack explains. 

Dean wraps his arms around his son and rests his cheek on top of his head, his heart feeling fit to burst. “Thank you, Jack. I’m gonna keep this forever.” And he means it. 

“Welcome. Can I have a lollipop now?”

Cas points at Dean. “He gets that from you.”

 After the valentines are carefully put away and they’ve had dinner (plastic free and edible, which Cas seems proud of), Jack gets a bath and is tucked in bed. Dean and Cas spend the rest of the night sprawled out on the couch watching reruns of Doctor Sexy and drinking beer. Party city. 

When the Doctor Sexy reruns switch to Jeopardy, Dean knows it’s officially midnight. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess.” 

They tip their bottles together. 

“I hope I didn’t disappoint you by not planning anything,” Cas says, picking at the label on his beer. 

“What? No, of course not. We never do anything. I thought we were on the same page about avoiding that shit after our first Valentine’s together.”

They both shudder thinking about the sweaty cupid ‘handshake’. 

“We are, but we never actually discussed it and I…” Cas pauses and tilts his head. “I think having Jack around and seeing the world through his eyes, experiencing things in a new way, it makes me wonder if we’re not missing out on some of the little things.”

“Hey, we appreciate lots of the little things-- like you not cooking frozen pizza with the plastic still on.”

“Dean.”

“Okay, okay. So you sayin’ you wanna celebrate now?”

“Sam and Eileen do.”

“Sam and Eileen are saps. And they don’t have a five year old running around.” 

Cas makes a sound of agreement and softly strokes the back of Dean’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. “You make a fair point. In all honesty, I don’t want to do anything extravagant but I would like to take the opportunity to remind you how much I love you. Am I allowed to be sappy for a moment?”

Dean clears his throat. “Yeah, I guess you deserve one day to get it all out.” He puts their bottles down and faces his husband. “Lay it on me, big guy.”

Instead of looking annoyed, Cas just looks fond. “You know, it’s ironic that a man as full of love as you are is so quick to dismiss any sentimentality. You are a fascinating creature.” A thumb sweeps under his eye where he’s got permanent dark circles and settles at the corner where his lines get deeper every day. It makes Dean want to squirm but he holds still under the reverent touch. “Perhaps that’s why I never stood a chance.”

“C’mon, man,” Dean says, dropping his eyes to the couch. 

“Hush, I’m allowed, I’ll have you know. My husband gave me explicit permission.”

“Well, your husband is thinking about rescinding the offer.”

“I love you.” 

Cas says it with such conviction that Dean can’t help but look back at him, at his bright eyes and soft smile; at the evidence of his love written all over his face. 

“I love you, endlessly, Dean Winchester. For everything that you are; the good and the bad. From the moment I saw your soul in hell, so bright it was almost blinding, I knew I would never be the same. You breathed life into me, gave me meaning and purpose, taught me the value of love, and you did it all, selflessly, simply by being the man that you are.” Cas draws him close, presses their foreheads together. “I can never give back all that you’ve given me but I promise you will have my love until we are nothing but a forgotten memory, and longer still.”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut and they breath together in the small space between them. 

“You can’t-- you can’t just say shit like that,” he whispers. 

“And why not?”

“Because it’s not true, first of all.” Cas opens his mouth to argue but Dean covers it with his hand and hurries on. “You’ve already given all of that back and more. God, Cas, if it weren’t for you I’d have been dead years ago. I needed to stick around-- to take care of Sammy, to stop whatever or whoever was trying to end the world next-- but you… you made me want to live. Really live, not just survive, you know? I fuckin’ love you, man.”

Cas pushes Dean’s hand away and presses his lips against Dean’s fervently. 

When they finally break apart for desperately needed air, they both pretend they aren’t sniffling like little girls. 

“You happy now? Can we go back to not doing this?”

Cas laughs. “I hadn’t planned on making it quite so emotional, I apologize. You always bring out the most in me.”

“Ugh, enough,” Dean groans, shoving Cas’ smiling face away. “You aren’t allowed to say anything even approaching romantic for the next twenty four hours, capiche?”

“I can agree to that, as long as I’m allowed to give you a gift later.”

“I thought you said you didn’t plan anything?”

“It’s nothing big.” Cas’ fingers sneak under Dean’s shirt and trail along his stomach, dipping to his waistband. “I just happened to walk by Victoria’s Secret and see a pair of pink satin panties in the window.”

Dean’s heart beats a little faster. “Oh yeah?” he says breathlessly. “Not gonna lie, that seems more like a present for you.”

Cas hums and leans over Dean, forcing him to lie back on the couch. “Well then I suppose I’ll just have to do whatever you want while you wear them.”

When he kisses him he tastes like cherry candy and Dean thinks could learn to like this holiday. 

#spn #destiel #deancas #bend-me-shape-me #sweatercas #rambleoncas #acklesy #alivedean #userpris #usersila #goodthingsclara #shelikestv #hope you guys dont mind me tagging you!!! #sarah writes

[starshine583]

New Girl on the Block (3)

(Hey guys! finally got around to posting chapter three of this! There’s a second, mini series connected to this that’s called Journal Entries. You don’t have to read it to understand the plot, but I felt like it would be fun to write so enjoy it if you like!)

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 4

Chapter 3: There’s a First Time for Everything

Adrien tapped his pencil against his notebook paper and nestled his cheek into his open palm with a sigh. It’s been a little over a week since Marinette exchanged schools, and he’s yet to talk with her about it. He tried visiting her the day Ms. Bustier informed them of the transfer, but Marinette wasn’t home. Naturally, he tried again the next day and actually managed to catch her, but then she ran off. Ran off! Adrien still couldn’t believe it. Why would she run from him? 

“Dude, you okay?” Nino asked, giving him a light nudge.

Adrien straightened slightly. “Ah, yeah, just.. Just thinking.”

Alya scoffed behind him. “Don’t tell me you’re still moping about Marinette.” 

Needless to say, the class didn’t exactly share Adrien’s sentiment about Marinette’s leaving. With all of Lila’s stories circling around, they were overjoyed that the “bully” was gone. Alya was low-key furious, ranting about “injustices” and “letting Marinette run from the consequences of her actions”, but other than that, everyone was pleased with the outcome.

Everyone except Adrien.

Adrien knew better. The class may think that they’re better off without the bluenette, but he knew for certain that they were all going to drown without her. Marinette organized the budgets, supplied the goods for bake sales, signed off all of the paperwork for their trips- she even made dresses for the girls on special occasions. They needed her. That’s why he had to get her back. If only he could find time out of his packed schedule to visit her again..

“Alright, everyone, settle down.” Ms. Bustier spoke up. “The results for the new class president are in.”

Adrien sunk further into his seat. Ah, yes. The new class president, another reason Marinette should have stayed. With her gone, they had to make an impromptu election. Chloe, of course, ran again, but Lila decided to run as well. With the class’ obvious loyalty towards Lila, it’s a wonder Ms. Bustier didn’t announce the brunette as the president right there and save everyone the trouble.

Ms. Bustier pulled out a small card with the results and cleared her throat. “With a near-unanimous vote, the new class president will be Lila Rossi.”

The class cheered, and Lila gasped as if she hadn’t expected this to happen.

“Thank you all so much!” She beamed.

Alya slung her arm around Lila’s shoulders. “You deserve it, girl.”

Chloe scoffed from her seat and crossed her arms, but no one acknowledged the show of disdain. They were too busy congratulating their beloved Lila.

“Congratulations Lila. You can visit Marinette after school to get the paperwork from her.” Ms. Bustier said, setting her cards aside.

Adrien straightened. Someone had to go visit Marinette? “I’ll do it!”

The classroom paused at the outburst.

“Oh, Adrien you don’t have to do that for me.” Lila remarked with a grateful tone.

“Oh, no, it’s my pleasure.” Adrien was quick to reply.

A hint of annoyance flicked across Lila’s features, but it quickly vanished when Alya said, “Yeah, Lila, you shouldn’t have to suffer through that.”

A smile forced its way onto the Italian girl’s lips. “Thanks, but I think it’s only right that I meet with her in person. Class president to Class president and all.”

Alya frowned. “Well, at least let me go with you. I don’t want her trying to pull anything.”

“Oh, Alya,” Lila sighed, patting the red-head’s hand, “It’s just a small visit. I’m sure Marinette and I can be civil about this.”

Alya reluctantly agreed, but if anyone had actually been paying attention, they might have seen Lila’s smirk.

~~~~~~

The soft rhythm of Felix and Allegra’s instruments floated around the music room as they played. Marinette never imagined the violin and the flute sounding well together, but the way Felix and Allegra harmonized had her swaying back and forth with the melody. It was a lovely song, and she couldn’t help closing her eyes to fully relish the masterpiece. 

Her eyes snapped open a second later, though, as her entire body jolted from the large calamity of piano keys that was suddenly pounded on by Claude. Felix startled as well, his violin flying off key, and Allegra nearly dropped her flute. 

“Again, Claude?” Allegra sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

Claude leaned back on the piano stool with his palms and flashed them an innocent smile. ��What? I was only helping.”

Marinette held back a smile, but Felix wasn’t amused.

“I told you to stop doing that.” He scolded with a scowl. “You’re going to get our music room privileges revoked!”

“Good. You guys practice too much, anyway.” 

Allegra gave Claude a flat look. “We need to practice if we’re going to get better.”

“But you already sound great.” 

“Because we practice.” Felix replied pointedly.

Marinette subtly nodded in agreement. She didn’t want to get directly involved in their arguments, as that never seemed to go well.

Claude huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Waste your time on endless practice. I’m gonna do something more productive with my time.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “Like what?”

Claude turned to lay across the piano bench while throwing Marinette a smile. “Like making croissants! We’re still coming to your house, right?”

Marinette returned his smile, secretly relieved that he didn’t ask her to do something outrageous like going to chase pigeons around the park while on roller blades. (Yes, that’s happened several times in the past week, and yes, each time she’s said no.) 

“Yeah, but you guys are coming over tomorrow.” She told him. 

He pumped a fist into the air. “Yes! I can’t wait!!”

“Neither can I.” Allegra admitted. “Your parents sound splendid.”

Marinette’s smile widened. “I’m sure you’ll all get along great.”

“Yes, I’m sure.. If we can practice enough to go straight to your house after classes tomorrow.” Felix remarked, shooting Claude another look.

Claude tisked, waving a hand at him. “Yeah, yeah. Get back to your music already.”

Allegra gave a short laugh, sarcastically stating, “Oh, thank you so much. I was wondering when you would give us permission to play.”

“I know, I’m such a generous person.” Claude joked back.

Allegra playfully rolled her eyes and held up her flute to resume playing. Felix followed along, and Marinette went back to swaying as their song continued. 

-

The familiar ring of the customer bell brought a smile to Marinette’s lips as she opened the bakery door. 

Her mother, Sabine, looked up from the cashier desk with a warm smile. “Marinette! How was music practice?”

“It was wonderful, Maman. Felix and Allegra play beautifully.” Marinette answered as she walked inside. She set her bag next to the counter and gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek. “Is everything ready for them to come over tomorrow?”

Sabine nodded. “Tom’s got the ingredients and tables ready for when they get here. He’s so excited to meet them, and so am I.”

Marinette chuckled. “They’re excited to meet you guys too.”

Sabine’s smile widened at the comment, but then her expression darkened as she said, “Hopefully they’re not two-faced and backstabbing like your previous classmates.”

Marinette gasped. “Mom!” 

“Well, it’s true!” Sabine replied defensively.

It was true, but that didn’t mean Marinette was any less surprised to hear her maman talk that way. Of course, Sabine did tend to speak her mind when Marinette’s feelings were involved. 

Before she could respond, the doorbell rang again, signaling a new customer’s arrival. Marinette turned with her mother to offer them a greeting, but stopped short when she saw exactly who the new customer was.

Lila Rossi stood in the doorway, a smug smirk on her lips as she eyed Marinette up and down. “I see you’re doing well.”

Sabine was in front of Marinette in the blink of an eye. “You are not welcome in this bakery. Leave immediately before I call the cops.”

A look of feigned hurt crossed the Italian girl’s expression. “How rude! I only came here per Mme Bustier’s request. I have to get the formal papers from our previous class president.”

Marinette narrowed her eyes, stepping around Sabine with crossed arms. “I suppose you’re the new class president then?”

Lila’s smile returned, sharp and triumphant. “By a near-unanimous vote. Alya is still the deputy though, since she practically begged me to let her help.”

Marinette’s lips tightened into a thin line. That sounded about right. “How nice for you. You two really do deserve each other.”

When Lila first came around, Marinette had been torn and heartbroken about her friends abandoning her for a stranger. It didn’t help that Adrien kept assuring her that everything would be fine, that they didn’t mean what they said. He gave her false hope, and it made it all the harder to find the courage to leave. 

Now, she’s realized how toxic her old environment had become, and though it still hurt her to think about it, Marinette knew she couldn’t let them affect her anymore.

Lila faltered at Marinette’s uncaring tone. “Uh.. right. Where are those papers again?”

“Up in my room.” Marinette moved towards the stairs, bringing Sabine back behind the counter as she did. “I’ll go get them now.”

“Good.” Lila said, sounding satisfied. “I’ll be waiting outside, but don’t take your time. I’m supposed to go meet Alya and the girls for a girl’s night out.” 

Marinette rolled her eyes at the obvious jab, but continued up the stairs anyway. The sooner she got the papers, the sooner that lying leech could leave.

She swiftly ran up to her room and gathered the papers to stuff them into the large, blue binder she’d been given only two semesters ago. It sunk into her arms as she picked it up, and the sheer weight of the packed binder made her smile as she brought it back outside, especially when she saw Lila’s panicked expression.

“Um.. What is that?” The brunette asked, pointed at the binder.

“Oh, this?” Marinette replied innocently. “This is just the binder that holds all the formal papers you need. Being class president takes a lot of work you know.”

Lila nearly toppled over when Marinette dropped the binder into her arms. 

“That’s allergies, budgets, complaints, schedules, and trips!” Marinette told her with a grin. “But don’t forget to give Mme Bustier and Principle Damocles the proper reports each semester.”

Lila shot her a scowl, but quickly recovered, slipping on a smile of her own. “No need to be petty, Marinette. It’s fine to admit you’re breaking inside. Losing all your friends can be a hard thing to go through.”

Marinette’s grin faded slightly, knowing that Lila was right. She’d lost everything. All of her childhood friends, her crush, her fun teachers, anything she used to hold dear.

But maybe that was a good thing.

“Have fun sorting through the binder.” She said, spinning on her heel and walking inside. She had better things to do than listen to someone who had to lie just to get people to like them. 

The bakery door closed behind her, and Marinette saw Lila leave out of the corner of her eye, taking the painful memories with her.

~~~~~~

Friday afternoon. 4:45pm.

Felix stared at the bakery door, unsure how to proceed. The group had originally agreed to walk straight to Marinette’s house after school, but they changed the plan last minute to come back at five, an hour after school ended. It gave Marinette’s parents time to finish up the preparations, and the rest of the group time to drop off their school bags at their homes. 

Felix, as usual, arrived at the Dupain-Cheng’s early, but now he was doubting his actions. On one hand, he would get to meet the Dupain-Cheng’s without the chaos that the trio tended to bring. It would be a nice way for him to get a quick impression of the family over-all. 

On the other hand, he’s at Marinette’s house before the time she specifically told them to come, which could be considered rude in some cases. Should he go inside or wait in a nearby cafe?

After a few more minutes of debating, Felix stepped forward and knocked on the door. If they really needed him to wait until five, he would apologize and come back in ten minutes. The opportunity to meet the Dupain-Cheng’s on a one-on-one basis was too good to pass up.

It only took a moment for the door to open, and a short, asain woman greeted him with a sweet smile. “Hello! I’m assuming you’re one of Marinette’s friends from school?” 

Felix nodded, noting her raven hair that matched Marinette’s perfectly. “Yes, ma’am. I’m Felix.”

He stiffened slightly when she reached forward to take his hand in both of hers. “It’s great to finally meet you! Marinette has told us so much about you all.” 

A small smile passed his lips. For some reason, that knowledge gave him a satisfied feeling. Assuming that the talk was good, that is. “She’s talked a lot about you as well. I’m assuming you’re Mme Dupain-Cheng?”

The woman waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, please, call me Sabine.”

‘Sabine’ showed him inside, where baked goods lined the walls in glass cases. Claude was going to lose his mind when he got here. The overwhelming scent of vanilla and cinnamon alone was going to be enough to make the brunette’s mouth water.

“This is my husband, Tom.” Sabine introduced, gesturing to a tall, burly man at the cashier desk. “Tom, this is one of Marinette’s friends, Felix.”

Felix would be lying if he said he wasn’t intimidated by the man. His head almost grazed the ceiling as he approached them, making Sabine look like a dwarf in comparison. Felix felt like a dwarf in comparison.

Tom offered a wide, hearty grin, though that didn’t help Felix’s unease. “Ah, Felix! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!”

The man scooped Felix up into a bear hug, squeezing him tightly to his chest. Felix would have replied to his greeting had he been able to breathe. 

“Oh, Papa!”

Felix glanced over Tom’s shoulder- he’d been raised that high -and saw Marinette standing in another doorway behind the cashier counter, a slight cringe in her expression.

“Papa, put poor Felix down before he passes out from lack of oxygen!” She insisted, walking forward to tug on her father’s arm.

“Oh that’s.. That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Felix wheezed as Tom set him down. 

Marinette’s hands hovered around him for a moment, then she nervously clasped them together. “I-I’m so sorry, I should have warned you. I thought I was going to be down here when you guys arrived.”

Felix shook his head and bent over slightly to catch his breath. “No, no, you’re fine. They actually remind me of my own mother. She’s a rather adamant hugger herself.”

A relieved smile came to Marinette’s lips. “Really? I didn’t think anyone could be as ‘homely’ as my parents.”

Felix chuckled, but the customer bell jingled again before he could reply. Claude sauntered inside a second later, his arms spread as wide as his grin. 

“We’re here~!” The brunette sang, looking around the shop. His gaze found Felix’s flat one almost immediately.

“Hey!” Claude gasped, pointing accusingly at Felix. “He beat us here!”

Allegra stepped out from behind Claude, wearing a curious expression. That quickly changed to knowing smirk, though, as she shot him a playfully scolding look. “Why, Felix! I’m surprised at you! You should know more than anyone how rude it is to arrive at someone’s house early.”

Felix grimaced at the reminder of his bad manners and quickly turned to apologize.

“Oh don’t be silly!” Sabine said before he could get a word out. “Any friends of Marinette are friends of ours. You guys are welcome here anytime.”

Claude lit up at the sentiment. “I’m gonna be here a lot then.”

Allan popped out from behind Claude and Allegra. “Thank you for hosting us, M. and Mme Dupain-Cheng.”

Felix held back a smirk. He’d wondered when Allan would show himself.

“Please, call us Tom and Sabine.” Tom replied in a casual, yet booming voice. It highly contradicted his wife and daughter, who tended to speak in soft tones. “Follow me. I’ll show you where the kitchen is.”

The group was led into a room in the back where three islands stood in the center, each equally parted from each other. A large counter lined the wall to the left as well, and two, large ovens sat on each end of said counter.

“Do you guys want to start from scratch or start with pre-made dough?” Tom asked.

“Oh! Scratch! I want to be able to make these at home!” Claude answered eagerly. 

Tom smiled. “Alright! Scratch it is. Everyone take the needed ingredients on the counter.”

The group took a moment to pass around the items, then they separated to find a counter. Allan took the first counter with Tom, and Allegra and Claude stole the last counter, leaving the middle counter for Marinette and Felix. 

“I’m glad you guys got to come.” Marinette commented as they aligned their ingredients on the shared countertop.

Felix nodded. “I think Claude’s going to get a sugar-crash before we leave.”

Marinette snorted. “With all of those baked goods in the other room? I’d be surprised if he makes it to supper.”

Felix spared her a glance. “Are we staying for supper?”

Marinette paused, having to think out her answer. She must not have noticed the implication when she said it. “Uh.. I mean.. I wouldn’t mind. Do you guys want to stay for supper?”

Felix shrugged, though the idea sounded perfect. It would give him more time to understand the Dupain-Cheng’s lifestyle. “I’m sure Allegra and Claude will be ecstatic over the news. I’d have to contact my mother about the change in schedule, though.”

“Oh, were you planning something with her tonight?” Marinette asked, worry lacing her tone. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to.” Felix hastily amended. “I simply need to tell my mother that I won’t be home for supper tonight. We always have a family dinner when everyone is available.”

“And you won’t miss it?”

“Well, it sounds like it’s a special occasion, but everyone’s available more often than you’d expect.” 

Marinette tilted her head up and mouthed an ‘oh’. “I’ll tell Maman that you’re staying, then. She was sort of planning supper for all of you anyway.”

Felix smiled. Given the daily croissants that the group’s received since their first lunch with Marinette, that didn’t surprise him. Mme Sabine had proven to be an extremely kind and charitable person, much like her daughter.

Tom, once his own ingredients were in order, regained the room’s attention and began showing them how to make the croissants. Because he was in the front, it was easy to see how the ingredients were supposed to be thrown in and follow along. That said, Felix found himself extremely grateful to have Marinette as a partner. Her little tips on how to mix the dough helped him immensely, especially since she told him when his mixing was sufficient.

“Alright,” Tom sighed as he set his bowl to the side, “Now that the dough is done, we’re going to start the hard part. Everyone needs to get some flour so we can start rolling the dough and folding it. Marinette, if you would.”

Marinette sprang from her place next to Felix and crossed the room to a cabinet. She pulled it open and grabbed a large bag of flour that appeared to be at least a fourth full, then carried it to the long counter against the wall and set it down with a huff. 

“Here’s the flour that you all are going to be using.” Tom explained. “That should be plenty, but if you need more-”

A light knock on the doorframe ahead of them caused Tom to trail off. Felix glanced at the door to see Mme Sabine standing there, holding a sheepish smile.

“Tom, dear. I know you’re busy, but could you help me with this customer real quick?” She asked politely. “They’re being.. difficult.”

Felix noted the sharpness of her smile, along with the iron grip she had on the doorframe. It appeared that the sweet, loving mother also had a temperance, though he didn’t blame her. Customers had a tendency to be massive pains for retail workers. (That included himself on a few shameful occasions.)

M. Tom’s nervous smile said it all as he joined his wife at the door. “Oh, of course. Uh.. children, just- just keep doing what you’re doing. Marinette will show you how to roll the dough if necessary.”

The parents left the room, causing the rest of the group to turn to Marinette for instruction.

Marinette, who had returned to Felix’s side by that point, shrank slightly at the sudden attention. “Oh, uhm.. Do any of you know how to fold dough?”

A short laugh came from Allegra in the back. “Mari, I’m quite certain that none of us have even touched uncooked food before.”

“That’s the price you pay for being rich.” Allan agreed, putting a hand to his chest and shaking his head with feigned grief. 

Felix opted not to comment. His mother rather enjoyed cooking, much to their butler’s dismay. She often cooked their family meals, and every now and then, Felix found himself helping. “It’s a necessary skill.” she would tell him. “Your future wife will thank me and so will you.”

Why his mother assumed he would be able to tolerate anyone long enough to marry them was beyond him.

“Oh, how horrible for you.” Marinette retorted with a playful eye roll. “I guess I’ll show you how to fold dough then. For your sakes.”

“We are forever grateful.” Claude joked.

Marinette laughed and scooped up her bowl, bringing it to the front with Allan for all of them to see. 

“Now, everyone needs to get some flour. We’ll start with Claude and Allegra getting some. That way, the flour will work its way to the front by the time we’re done.” She instructed.

Felix nodded. That sounded like a reasonable plan.

Claude walked over to grab the bag as told and hauled it back to his and Allegra’s table. “How much are we going to need?”

“Oh, not much.” Marinette answered. “You only need some on the table and some on the dou- Claude, wait!”

Claude tipped the bag of flour upwards, expecting it to slide smoothly onto the table. Instead, the flimsy ingredient smacked into the table in a large clump, causing white dust to explode into the air. Felix scrunched up his nose in annoyance. How were they supposed to mix that? How easily did it spread? He knew he should have worn something less formal. (Oh, who was he kidding? Felix didn’t have anything less formal.)

An apologetic whimper came from Marinette, as if any of this was her fault. Claude and Allegra quickly fell into a coughing fit as Claude dropped the flour bag onto the ground. Of course, dropping the bag only threw more dust into the air. 

The two attempted to wave the dust away, but it only partly worked. When the dust did finally clear, though, Claude and Allegra were left with a small pile of flour on their table. The rest of the flour was either in the air or draped across their clothes and hair.

“Wow.” Felix stated dryly. “I’m impressed. You actually managed to wait until M. Tom left before making a complete mess of yourselves and the room.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it u-” Claude’s retort was cut off by another coughing fit, but Allegra continued it for him.

“I don’t see you rolling out your dough in a perfectly clean and pristine manner.”

“That’s because you used up the rest of the flour.” Felix shot back.

Marinette gasped. “Is it really all gone?”

Claude and Allegra, suddenly dawning a sheepish expression, looked down at the bag that was still on the floor. Claude reached down to pick it up, but, as if the situation weren’t bad enough already, he grabbed the wrong end and pulled it up upside down. 

The last bits of flour trickled to the floor, spreading across the brunette’s legs.

“...Yeah. It’s all-” He let out another cough “-gone.”

Allan’s eyes widened, a mixture of admiration and mortification swirling onto his features. “How did you waste an entire bag of flour on one spill?”

“You’d be surprised.” Marinette muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“We can reimburse you.” Allegra was quick to offer. “How much did the flour cost? Do you take checks?”

A light chuckle fell from Marinette’s lips. “No, no, that’s not necessary. I’ve.. actually done worse.”

Claude’s eyes bulged out of his head. “You’ve done worse?”

Felix thought over the many falls that Marinette had had over the past week. Her clumsiness certainly made it possible to have more extreme accidents. 

“What do we do now that the flour is gone?” He asked, trying to get the group back on track. The sooner they finished baking the croissants, the sooner he could examine the rest of Marinette’s house instead of sitting in the kitchen. The Dupain-Chengs appeared to be a lively, fun-loving family, but he’d only gotten a small taste of their life, only seen the tip of the iceberg. Felix wanted to absorb as many details as possible before leaving. 

Marinette straightened. “Oh! There’s actually more flour in the back! I’ll go get it.”

Before Felix could offer any assistance- his curiosity piqued about where they might store more food -the ravenette had already left the room, disappearing through another doorway in the back. 

A moment later, she returned, another large bag of flour in her hands. This time, however, the bag was full. Felix vaguely wondered how heavy the bags must weigh for her to be wobbling over with one so easily. Wasn’t flour supposed to be heavy?

“Here’s a fresh bag of flo-ou-ah!” Marinette’s words jumbled into jargon when her foot caught on her ankle. Her body lunged forward from the momentum, and Felix stepped up to catch her on reflex.

Bad idea. 

Due to the weight of the flour bag yanking her downwards, Marinette crashed into Felix’s and dragged him to the floor with her. His back hit the floor with a painful *thud*, immediately sucking all of the air from his lungs. 

Of course, the flour bag popped open upon impact, sending more white dust directly into his face. Between the weight of Marinette and the flour, along with his aching lungs and the suffocating dust, Felix was convinced that he was about to die right then and there on the bakery floor. 

Felix Culpa: tragically taken from this world by a bag of flour and a clumsy classmate. What a way to go.

“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Felix. Are you okay??” Marinette asked frantically, pushing herself off of him. 

Felix coughed out a weak response with what little oxygen he had. Even without Marinette, the flour bag pressed into his chest like a block of concrete. How had she been carrying this without breaking a sweat earlier?

Marinette hauled the bag off of him, and Felix sucked in a deep breath despite the flour still cluttering the atmosphere. All he needed right now was some sweet, blessed air. Infected or no.

It wasn’t until he regained enough of his senses to push himself up into a sitting position that he heard Claude’s howling laughter.

“Oh, man!” The brunette cackled. “And you thought we were bad! Look at you, Fe! You’re a ghost!”

Felix glanced down at his clothes, which were indeed covered in white. He could even feel the weight of the flour in his hair. How long was this going to take to wash out? Was he going to have to buy new clothes before going home?

A snort brought his gaze upwards, where Marinette stood with the bag of flour. She had a hand on her mouth- holding the bag of flour with one hand -and a barely contained smile on her lips that she was obviously trying to hide. 

That’s when Felix knew that he must be looking ridiculous. 

“At least I wasn’t the one to cause the mess.” Felix grumbled in response to Claude. He reached up to start brushing some of the flour out of his hair, finding a bit of comfort in the fact that Marinette was white with flour as well. It might have been irksome if she had escaped her fall unscathed while he appeared to be a freshly made snowman.

“I am. So sorry.” Marinette apologized again, this time offering him her hand to help him up.

Felix took it, his bafflement towards her uncanny amount of strength only growing as she managed to pull him up with one arm and keep the bag of flour steady in her other arm.

“It’s..” not your fault. Was what he was about to say, except that would be a lie. It was entirely her fault.

“It’s fine.” He said instead. “It’s just clothes.”

“Wow~” Allegra sang, immediately latching onto Felix’s nerves. “‘It’s just clothes’? That’s a first.”

“Remember that time Felix threatened to sue us for enough money to buy a new wardrobe if we ‘got so much as one drop of food on his vest’?” Allan chimed in.

Embarrassment coiled around Felix’s stomach, though he wasn’t sure why. That designer outfit was expensive! And the trio was acting especially chaotic that day. Who knows what might have happened had he not put his foot down when they started joking about a food fight.

Felix whipped around to Allan to explain that exact reasoning, but something caught his attention, causing him to pause. Allan was still at the front of the room, the farthest position from the chaos that had just ensued. Aside from the stray dust still fluttering around the room, the man was completely untouched as far as flour was concerned. 

“Marinette,” He said, catching the girl’s eye, “I do believe that Allan hasn’t gotten his flour yet.”

Marinette’s gaze flicked to Allan, then to the bag, and Felix prayed that he assessed her correctly. Because if Allan didn’t get flour on him this instant, Felix might be tempted to do something foolish. Like attempting to throw a bag of flour that was, without a doubt, too heavy for him to even lift on his own.

The barest hints of amusement lit up Marinette’s features. “You know what? I think you’re right.”

Felix smiled, feeling a devilish satisfaction. Yes!

Allan took a step back, suddenly looking very concerned. 

“Woah, w-wait a second, guys.” He squeaked, holding up his hands as Marinette inched forward. “L-Let’s talk about this!”

“One of us. One of us.” Claude began chanting behind them. “One of us! One of us!”

Allegra joined in, and, in the spirit of things, Felix joined in as well, if only to push Marinette further towards his goal.

Allan bumped into his assigned counter while trying to put useless distance between himself and Marinette. “Please, no! It’s rare that I come out of these things unscathed!”

Marinette’s grin was downright predatory as she held up the bag of flour. “I can’t imagine why.”

Allan’s scream was the last thing Felix heard before Marinette swung the flour bag forward. 

The entire room erupted into uncontrollable laughter as Allan coughed out at least half the bag. He was now stark white from head to toe, and Felix couldn’t be prouder. It served him right for poking the bear.

Allan hung his head in defeat, a bit of flour falling off of his head from the action. This only made the group laugh harder. Claude started to say something about the “set being complete”, but before he could finish-

“What is going on?!” 

M. Tom reappeared in the doorway, his eyes wide and puzzled as he stared at the flour-covered room. 

Felix froze. Right. They were supposed to be baking with Marinette’s parents. 

Marinette set the flour bag down immediately. “I’m sorry, Papa, this is all my fault.”

“No, that’s not fair!” Claude protested. “Allegra and I spilled the flour bag first!”

“So she had to go get more!” Allegra continued the explanation.

“I’m the one who told her to throw the fresh flour at Allan.” Felix added. If anyone was to get in trouble, it should certainly be him. He was the only one who actually spilled the flour on purpose. Marinette didn’t deserve to take the blame for his petty actions.

M. Tom furrowed at the near-simultaneous remarks, but then let out a hearty laugh.

“I see you’ve all gotten into the baking spirit!” He declared. “Now who wants to learn how to actually fold dough?”

Felix blinked. He’d expected the man to be at least a little upset. Did this sort of thing happen often? Or was Marinette’s father simply that forgiving? M. Tom did refer to the mess as ‘the baking spirit’.. Whatever that means.

“Yeah we do!” Claude shouted enthusiastically, taking Felix from his thoughts.

“Great! Let’s start with putting the flour on the table.” Tom smiled, going back to his original spot next to Allan.

Felix followed the notion, going back to his original spot as well. He tried brushing more of the flour off of his vest, but, as expected, it didn’t help much. He was probably going to get more flour on him during the folding process anyway.

“Don’t worry.” Marinette whispered as she reclaimed her spot next to him. “I’ll let you guys wash up in the bathroom after this. If you want to, that is.”

Felix nodded. “I would be eternally grateful.” 

Marinette giggled. “..So did you really threaten to sue them over your clothes?”

Felix paused his kneading long enough to sigh. Freaking Allan. That idiot deserved every speck of flour dust that he had on him.

Tag List:  @artbyknigit @athena452 @nickristus-dreamer @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @arsaem @abrx2002 @neakco @pawsitivelymiraculous @too0bsessedformyowngood @nathleigh @lusicing @officiallydarkgeek @all-mights-asscheeks @tbehartoo @woe-is-me0 @raeuberprinzessin @lazuli-11 @miss-chaos27 @trippingovermyfeet @sadpotatoondrugs @ladybug-182

#Felinette #Rosemary AU #New Girl on the Block #Marinette #Felix Culpa #Quantic Kids

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 9*

Chapter 8

Chapter 10

Aw SNAP, an early chapter?! Yes children, I woke up and I just wanted to write. This story really does mean a lot to me, and I have been neglecting it for the last few days. So I decided to give you one today, and one tonight. I just have so much to say, and I wanna get it out there as fast as I think of it! I know y'all want that too.

So I don't know if these actually need warnings, but there is serious discussion about alcohol and addiction. If you're sensitive to that, read with caution. I'm really sensitive to it and I wrote it, but it's more therapeutic to me. I don't know how others feel about it.

Also-- I did my best to fix the continuity issue in the last chapter about the Sonny crying at Y/N's mom's funeral, AND I think I did a good job at fixing the continuity with the fact that I literally started this story with her drinking an appletini. Like a moron.

And if you think my explanation is 'unbelievable', I actually do the same thing so I know it's a thing! Don't @ me.

Also Also-- This chapter is all Y/N and Sonny, some cousin bonding time. I hope y'all appreciate it.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

--------------

You rode to the train station in silence, but when you got out of the Uber to walk in by yourself, Sonny quickly trailed behind you.

“I’m a big girl Sonny, I don’t need you to hold my hand,” You rolled your eyes.

“I-I know, but it’s an hour until your train leaves, and--” He nervously explained.

“Afraid I’ll go to the bar and just derail my life in twenty minutes?” You crossed your arms.

“...No…” He softly looked at the ground.

“Well, you're right. I'm just gonna throw it all away right now,”

“Y/N don’t do that--”

“I’m not kidding, Sonny!” You looked at him seriously.

“...What?” He was stunned at your admission.

You looked around the train station, people were bustling about running to their trains and finding their people, it was a madhouse. You needed to talk this out seriously; so you pulled him to a waiting area and sat down with him.

“Well as you so nicely pointed out, I am basically on the verge of breaking my sobriety every fucking day. And now I know why you wanted me to avoid Rafael, but I didn’t listen and as much as you didn’t want it to, it already broke me. Last night I broke, and now that-- now that he’s gone, or run away, or whatever-- All I can think about is making this pain go away!” The thoughts that had been running through your head since you left Rafael’s apartment just came spilling out of your mouth.

“Sunshine…” He sighed.

“And you’re right, I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have anyone else to lean on, except for you. And I can’t keep doing that, you’ve done it long enough,” You started to feel tears catch in your throat.

“Wha--but I don’t mind, I--” He protested.

“Really? Because the way you were telling Rafael, it sounded like you were sick of it,” You tried to keep your voice steady.

“I’m not--” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sick of it. It’s just--”

“A lot,” You finished for him.

“Right,” He looked at you sadly. “But-- I don’t understand, then what do you wanna--”

“I need to go away,” You interjected with a very somber look.

“What?” He half laughed. “Go away? What does that even--”

“I need to go...away,” You repeated, not wanting to say the words out loud.

“Like...a facility?” He asked; you nodded. “Y/N I didn’t mean you had to--”

“I know you didn’t mean that Sonny, but I don’t see any other way,” Tears filled your eyes.

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna do this again! I don’t want you to have to take days, weeks off work watching me, moving to Jersey, checking my room and my apartment, you’re too old for that shit now!” You looked up to the sky, willing the tears to stay in your pupils.

“I mean, Y/N come on I’m almost 31, I’m not ancient--”

“But you’re a grown up, with a grown up job and a career, and a life. And I can’t just-- make you put your life on pause because I’m a fuck up,” You barely whispered.

“You’re not a--”

“I am,” You shook your head. “I am, and I accept it. I can’t have-- normal, things. Like friendships or relationships. This absolutely proves it,”

“No, it doesn’t,” Sonny took your hand. “Look I told Barba and now I’m telling you: This...this might be on me,”

“No it’s not,” You took his hand this time. “Don’t do that,”

“No, it really might be,” He insisted. “You’ve...you’ve never just opened up to someone like you did with Barba. Not once. Not with anyone but me,”

“Yeah well clearly that was some kind of fluke,” You rolled your eyes with a tear filled laugh.

“Was it?” Sonny asked you sincerely. “When’s the last time you approached a guy or girl for that matter, sober?”

“I mean, I was sipping an appletini…” You looked at the ground in guilt.

“Y/N…” Sonny rubbed his temples.

“What?” You shrugged. “It’s not like I’m the Hulk, Sonny. I don’t take a sip of alcohol and ‘Hulk Out’. I like to at least attempt to feel like a grown up, so I order ONE drink and nurse it for hours. You know this. It’s just, when I get upset…”

“You lose it,” He finished for you.

“...Yeah,” You looked back at the ground.

“So why don’t you just come stay with me for a few days, until this whole ‘Barba’ thing passes, and you can be...normal, again?” He put a hand on your knee. “You don’t need to…’go away’, like a mental patient,”

“...Because I don’t know if it will pass, Sonny,” You admitted. “I’m not kidding when I say this broke me. It...it broke me. And he wasn’t even my boyfriend! We fucked one time and all of a sudden I was going through his stuff like a crazy girlfriend,”

“...Didn’t need to know that, but alright,” Sonny shuddered at the thought of you in the throes of passion with Rafael.

“Whatever,” You sighed. “The point is, I-- I lost it, with him. That’s never happened, not once. I’ve never…’cared’ about someone like that. I just bang them then leave,”

“Wasted” Sonny added.

“....Well yeah, obviously,” You laughed sadly.

“Which brings me back to my original point,” He replied. “You may have had some liquor in your system, but were you drunk when you talked to Barba?”

“...No,” You shook your head.

“Were you tipsy?”

“....No,"

“Did you get drunk while waiting on me and talking with him and then decide to go back to his place to...do stuff?”

“No!” You hit him softly.

“And last night,” He continued. “Last night when I walked away and left the two of you. Did you run back inside and drink yourself into a stupor because you hurt me?”

“No!!” You shook your head. “No, I-- I might have wanted to, but then Rafael took me inside and he-- well, first of all his friends humiliated me--”

“They what?” Sonny’s fists began to clench.

“Calm down, Son,” You took his hand. “Rafael defended me, he even punched a guy for insulting me!”

“He WHAT?” Sonny gasped. Rafael would never do something like that, not for anyone. He was always so cool, calm and collected, always the epitome of decorum. If he had lost it on someone in public, that really did mean something.

“...So he defended you, then took you home?”

“Well, I---” You looked down in shame. “I asked him to,”

“Ah,” Sonny nodded. “I see,”

“But only because you said you didn’t wanna see me! I...I didn’t think I had anywhere else to go,” You explained.

“But he let you,” He added.

“He wanted me to,” You shrugged. “But Sonny I swear, nothing was supposed to happen. I just wanted to crash on his couch until I could talk to you. But...I don’t know, we-- he washed my clothes, and then we were watching BoJack, and then we were laughing and he was tickling me, and it just-- happened,”

“Organically,” He clarified.

“...Not the way I’d word it but yeah,”

“And you didn’t drink anything?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No!” You cried. “No, and I didn’t want to hurt--”

“Sunshine I promise you, this isn’t about my feelings at all right now,” He assured you. “I’m just pointing out that you have never just...accidentally slept with a guy,”

“Meaning…?” You quirked an eyebrow curiously.

“Meaning your MO is get drunk, get laid, and leave. Correct?”

“...Well when you say it like that…” You shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m not trying to guilt you Sunshine I’m making a point. Now, am I right?”

“....Yes,”

“So you genuinely had feelings for Barba. Real, unaltered feelings,”

“....I guess so,”

“And I’m not blowing smoke up your ass when I say that Barba would never, ever punch a guy for anyone. Especially not someone he worked with, in front of a bunch of colleagues. I mean, his ‘circle’ is probably buzzing right now with talk about how ‘barbaric’ he was, for some girl he just met,” He explained.

“What are you saying, Son?” You studied his face curiously.

“I’m saying like I said before, that this might be my fault, Sunshine,” He sighed, once again running his hands through his hair.

“If I hadn’t been so...against you and Barba, I wouldn’t have spout off my mouth about his--- usual way of dating. Because it sounds like with you, he’s anything but his usual self,” He explained.

“...And then you wouldn’t have gotten upset about it and responded the way you do when you’re upset, and then you wouldn’t have ended up a mess last night, and you two would still be in your happy little bubble of bliss,”

“Sonny,” You sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I think we both know that this...’beast’ inside of me, is always gonna be there,”

“Well…” He murmured.

“You said it yourself! I’m still an addict, I’m still battling it everyday, even though I’ve gotten so much better at it. Even though most days I am perfectly fine; I’m not normal. Normal people don’t end up at the bottom of a bottle of vodka whenever they have a bad day, or stress out,” You cringed at the memory of that constantly happening back in the day.

“Yeah I know…”

“And it’s not fair for me to put that on someone. Especially someone I barely know! Especially someone who is not used to, or even ready for any kind of normal commitment! I mean, honestly I’m glad it happened now, because if we had gotten any deeper and the inevitable happened, the blow out would have been much more...messy,” You looked away in shame, just imagining the chaos your drunken alter ego could cause.

“...How so?”

“Sonny, if I lost it like I did last night after spending one night with Rafael, can you imagine the kind of havoc I’d wreck if we had been dating for a while? If we were married?” You half laughed sadly at the thought. “Cops would be called, I’m sure,”

“Sunshine….” He spoke softly, hating to hear you degrade yourself so much. He'd heard it so much in the past, he knew if you were going into the dark place, the damage was bad.

“Somehow or other, the monster would have shown herself to him. And clearly, whenever it was gonna happen-- he wasn’t going to respond well,” You shook your head with the same sad smile.

“But maybe if you had gotten closer, maybe he would have changed. Maybe he wants to change-- he’s just...freaked out right now,” Sonny pointed out.

“Don’t,” You shook your head while looking at the ground. “Don’t do that,”

“Do what?” He asked you quizzically.

“Give me false hope,” You looked up at him with tears once again welling up in your eyes. “You know that’s the most dangerous thing for someone like me,”

“But that’s just it Sunshine,” He put both hands on either side of your face. “I really don’t think it’s false hope,”

“Yeah well,” You scoffed with a sarcastic laugh. “I won’t hold my breath. And the bottom line is-- if that ever happens, then it will. But I’m here now, and right now all I want is to drink until I forget this weekend ever happened,” You wiped tears from your face. “So I need you to--”

“I’m not sending you away,” He said sternly.

“Sonny!” You stomped your foot. “I’m not kidding! You can’t--”

“Look Y/N,” He started. “You have done so well these past few years, better than I’ve ever seen you. I am so proud of you. You’re in school, you’re thinking about the future, you have dreams. And if you just...abandon that for even a month or two, you’ll have to drop your classes and start over,”

“Yeah but--”

“I know you think that going to rehab is the thing you’re ‘supposed’ to do when shit like this happens, but honestly I think it will only send you three steps back, not forward,” He looked at you with very genuine eyes.

“...Y’know the old ‘monster’ wouldn’t have even told me any of this,” He pointed out. “She would’ve gotten on that train and headed to the liquor store at the Jersey train station,”

“...That is true,” You nodded with a soft smile.

“I think you’re more in control than you think, Sunshine,” He put a thumb on your chin. “...But, maybe to make us both feel better, I’ll put a limit on your card for a bit,”

“...Yeah, probably for the best,” You gave him a small smile. Just then you both heard the speaker announcing your train was boarding.

“Well, I guess I better go,” You stood up with your duffel and gave him a long, hard hug. You really did love him more than anyone in this world, and knowing he wasn’t mad at you and still loved you meant everything to you.

“Alright Sunshine, you call me when you get back to the apartment, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You nodded; he gave you another hug, scared to let you go.

He was being supportive and brave on the outside for you, because he really did want you to keep going on the path you were on. But something deep down inside of him was constantly worried about the monster inside you. He wanted to protect you 24/7, but you were right-- he had a life and a career in the city, he had to trust you to be on your own.

“I love you, Y/N. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” You nodded with a bigger smile. “I love you too, Sonny,”

You gave him one last kiss on the cheek before heading to your platform, leaving Sonny alone in the station. He waited until he couldn’t see your figure headed towards the distance before pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

“Barba,” He said seriously. “We need to talk,”

#rafael barba #sonny carisi #rafael barba imagine #sonny carisi imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #rafael barba angst #weird secret friends #tw addiction #tw alcoholism

[sapphicmsmarvel]

JJ: Pregnancy PT 4- Labor

masterlist

-You and Reid were the only ones that hadn’t gone to Maryland. You couldn’t fly because you were in your third trimester, and Reid, well, he had to get requalified to shoot a gun later that day. 

-Reid, you and Garcia were in Garcias lair, Garcia was researching as you and Reid put your input in.

-You were currently diving into your most prominent pregnancy craving, popcorn dipped in pickle juice. Yes, it was quite disgusting to others, including Garcia who told you, “if you spill pickle juice, I will ensure that your child's first word is a swear word.” To which you laughed. 

-But then, you felt a sharp pain. You winced, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. It had been happening earlier in the day, you were sure it was braxton hicks contractions, you dealt with them last week, wasted a whole hospital visit checking them out. You were waiting until your actual water broke. 

-You sighed, “I’m gonna go get some cookies and dip them in peanut butter.” They both chuckled, your cravings changed constantly. 

-As you got up, you felt something, it felt like discharge but you knew it wasn’t. “Guys,” You breathed.

-They both turned, “my water broke.” You breathed. Oh, how you were absolutely terrified. 

-Garcia squealed. “Oh my God!’ She turned to Reid, “you take her to the hospital. I’ll call JJ, Hotch said she could fly in no matter where they were in the case.” 

“Take my car, it has my pregnancy bag.” You handed Reid your lanyard that had the keys. 

-He gently guided you to the car. People stared, people congratulated you, it was all very odd, you hated the attention but appreciated the sentiment. He got you to the car, buckled in, and prepared for the hospital. 

-Another contraction hit, you groaned, “I swear to fucking god if this labor takes longer than 24 hours, I will kill someone.” “Did you know the longest labor was 75 days?” Reid nervously babbled off as you guys pulled out of the parking lot. 

You felt like you were gonna throw up, “Reid…” You trailed off. 

He took the hint, “the shortest labor was two minutes.” He offered. 

You sighed, “that’s much better.”

“Taller women are more likely to give birth to twins.”

“Thank God, we checked. There’s one bitch in there.”

You looked at Reid to see him smile slightly, “should you be cussing since babies can hear you in the womb?”

“Should you be criticising the mother?” You punched his shoulder jokingly and he smiled back.

Then you winced, another sharp pain radiating through your stomach, “speed Reid, we get pulled over, we show our badges and say a baby is about to pop out of my vagina.” 

“On it.” He swallowed. 

-You heard your guys’ phones go off, pinging constantly, you answered JJ’s call. “Hey babe.” 

“Are you okay? How dilated are you? Are you eating ice chips?” “If going into labor and being a pain is okay, then yes I am. I don’t know and no. I’m not at the hospital yet.” 

“I’m boarding the plane now, the team is staying behind. Am I on speaker?” 

“Yeah.”

“Reid, you stay with her no matter what.” “Already was planning on it.” Reid answered as you guys turned into the parking lot of the hospital. 

“Okay, when will you be here?”

“3 hours tops. I love you so much, goodbye.” “I love you too.” You answered. 

-Reid got you into the waiting room, shouting, “we have a woman in labor!” 

-That got their attention. 

-In ten minutes you were in a private room, Reid was next to you, holding your hand. They had brought you ice chips, then the doctor came in. 

-Before you let him even touch you or your baby you said, “listen here buddy, if you put a husband stitch in me I will destroy your career. I will sue your ass. Do you understand? Cause if you don’t understand, I will find another doctor. Don't test me.” 

He nodded and said, “of course. Would you be more comfortable with a woman?” He offered. 

You shook your head. 

-He said you were at 2 centimeters, so you had a lot of time to kill. Reid went out and got your bag, you guys tossed a stress ball back and forth, colored a coloring book that you had in your bag, read a book that you had stashed for this exact reason. 

-You felt your anxiety crawling up your throat, the hot feeling of anxiety crept up your arms. “Reid, talk to me about something. Anything, any random fact in that head of yours.” 

“Hitler invented sex dolls.” “What?”

“He wanted to keep his soldiers away from prostitutes, so he invented the dolls.”

“Not gonna lie, I didn’t expect that one.” 

-Thus, that started a whole discussion about random facts. 

“A dentist invented the electric chair.”

“That makes sense, I feel like dentists are just people who haven’t discovered certain kinks yet, with all the weird ass tools they use.” 

“You can’t bring a furby into the pentagon.”

“Sounds about right, they are the devil.”

“Mary Shelley allegedly lost her virginity on her mother's grave.”

“That is so fucked up.” 

-JJ arrived 3 hours later, right when you were 6 centimeters. She ran in and gave you a kiss right on the lips. “Keep that up and we’re gonna make another baby.” You said. 

“That’s not how it works.” She giggled. 

“I know, but don’t give me any ideas.” 

-She said hi to Reid and said, “this is gonna be another 5 hours, you can go home.” “I drove Y/N’s car, you guys are stuck with me.”

At least you weren’t left in bad company. 

-Pretty soon you were getting irritable and sweaty.  JJ asked Reid to go get you more ice chops, he went happily, you were being a bit of a bitch but he couldn’t be mad at you, you were extremely uncomfortable. 

JJ wet a towel that was in your bag and patted it onto your forehead, “I’m sorry.” You mumbled.

“It’s okay, baby.” She said,

You sighed, “I’m gonna buy Reid a book after this, I’ve been a pain in the ass.” 

“He understands.” She said softly. 

“I still feel bad. I can be a real bitch.” “At least you’re beautiful.” 

You scoffed, “I’m sweaty, bitchy, hungry and pissed off. How can I be beautiful right now?” 

“You are.” She shrugged, “you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, you have the most beautiful soul, you are a loving mother to the boys and the little one in there. I love you more than anything.” Your eyes were watering, she gave you a kiss. 

-Reid came back to you crying, he was really confused and worried. “What happened?” 

“JJ’s being a sweetheart. I’m okay, hey Reid?” You sniffed. “Yeah?” He asked, handing you the ice chips. “I love you,” you squeezed his hand. 

“I love you too.” He smiled and kissed your forehead. 

-The pain was getting worse, which meant you were getting closer to the birth of the baby. The doctor came in after Reid went and got him. “You’re about to become a mom Y/N.” The doctor said. 

-Your eyes widened, “oh God.” 

-The doctor told Reid that only the moms were allowed there and the nurses. He left but didn’t go far, he stood outside the door. 

-His stomach lurched when he heard your screaming. You were his best friend and you were in pain. 

-JJ was trying to keep her cool, she was worried obviously. You were her wife and her child was coming today. 

-After a painful thirty minutes, you guys heard the cry of your beautiful baby. All three of you were crying. 

-”It’s a girl.” The nurse said, going to clean up your child.  You started sobbing some more and went to reach for her. Another nurse jumped in, “we have to take her vitals, put a bracelet on her foot, then you can hold her okay?” 

You nodded, crying more. JJ leaned over and kissed your head, “she’s here.” She breathed. “Our baby girl is here.” 

You sniffed. 

-It felt like an eternity before the nurse handed you your baby back. You quickly wiped your eyes and took her. Of course, more tears slipped out and JJ wiped them away gently. She leaned her head on your head, both of you gazing down at your beautiful daughter. 

-She had opened her eyes, they were your eye color. Her face was red and splotchy from crying, she was the most beautiful baby you had ever seen. 

-”Do we have a name?” The nurse asked gently. 

You looked at JJ, you had agreed on a gender neutral name, in case your baby doesn’t feel connected with being a female, they don’t have to change their name, but you knew that if they wanted to, you and JJ would have their backs. 

“Aiden Penelope L/N-Jareau”

#Criminal Minds #jj criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #Jennifer Jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau x you #aj cook #wlw writing

[greasykookietree98]

Worth the Wait | bbh

Pairing: ceo!Baekhyun x chef!OC (named)

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, Baekhyun being the cringey dad we know he’ll become one day; also some slight angst if you squint real hard

Word Count: 7,5K

Synopsis: It was a calm Sunday afternoon in the Byun household, before Baekhyun got all sentimental again.

A/N: So after years of not writing shit and deleting all my old, cringey work, here I am, back with a fresh, new, cringey work. Consider it my “Hey! I’m back! Happy Valentine’s or whatever!” gift. Hopefully 5 years of English at a university helped me somewhat – constructive criticism is well appreciated!

  “Dad, why do you keep calling noona a monkey?” the toddler inquired, sparkling eyes wide, munching on his favorite banana chips, while comfortably sitting on his father’s lap. Baekhyun brought a hand up to ruffle his son’s soft hair, earning a soft giggle from the 3-year-old. The house was peaceful this Sunday afternoon, almost idyllic even. Jaehyun was paying attention to his favorite cartoon while cuddling his father. Mina sat on the carpet in front of the couch, doodling mindlessly to her newest glittery notebook, occasionally taking a sip from her juice box. From the kitchen he could hear the clanking of dishes, the contact of knives and wooden cutting boards, a sure indicator that Mirae was working on something delicious.

  Upon Jae’s question, Mina put her crayon down and turned with her entire body towards the two Byuns, her lips slowly forming into a pout. “Yeah Dad, why do you call me a monkey, but not Jaehyunnie?”

  “Well princess, it all has to do with the time your mom and I started dating. Story time?” Baekhyun patted the couch next to his free leg, signaling for the 10-year-old to sit and cuddle him as well. With both kids in his arms, his smile widened as he fondly remembered the very beginning of his happy family.

  “It’s so useless, Chae. He won’t want a second date after he finds out. Why put in all the effort?” Mirae sighed, defeated almost, as she threw the black dress on top of the pile of rejects on her bed. She was really getting tired of this whole procedure – getting all dolled up for a man, just for him to zoom out the moment she spoke out about her life, leaving her empty, unwanted, hopeless until her best friend came up with another potential date. Rinse and repeat. See, the problem didn’t inherently lie with Mirae. She was 28, lead a healthy lifestyle with a decent diet and regular workouts. She had a steady job, one she was actually enjoying, one she could be proud of – not everyone from her culinary classes ended up as chefs in top restaurants. She had an at least okay personality, she liked to think at least. All her previous first dates seemed eager to get her on a second date, until her worst (best?) trait came to play. Honesty. She couldn’t leave a date without spilling the truth about her little secret. The little secret weighed 16 kgs, liked to have her chocolate brown hair in pigtails and couldn’t go a day without her Tigger plushie. Her little secret was Shin Mina, her daughter from a previous relationship.

  It always ended the same way. The men usually let her down slowly. Kind smiles, small promises of ‘see you soon’ before never texting her again. There were some, of course, who were appealed that she did not have this information readily available from the first second, did not have it plastered on her forehead – or her cleavage, for easier visibility for that matter. These men got angry that they wasted precious time and money on a women who already gave birth to someone else’s spawn – their words, not hers. She tried to react the same way to all of them. A small apology, a gentle smile and a tiny goodbye. She then entered her small apartment, went straight to Mina’s room to check on her sleeping daughter, pressing a soft kiss on her cheek before going out to the living room. The living room where her best friend, frequent babysitter and constant matchmaker, Chaeyon waited for her with tissues, ice cream and warm hugs. It always ended the same way.

  “Well for a start, this guy actually had the guts to ask you out – in person! Not on a dating app, not with some horrible pickup line, what if he’s really different?” Chae reasoned enthusiastically, throwing another dress Mirae’s way. It was rich coming from her, considering she was the one running Mirae’s dating app accounts, “filtering out” candidates before setting dates up for her. But she had a point. This guy, Byun Baekhyun, really was different. Never had a customer in the restaurant she worked at complimented her cooking while also noting her lack of wedding ring and asking smoothly for her number. Never had a man asked her every hour or two whether she was having a good day and if she remembered to drink enough water – even before their first date. Baekhyun was a natural charmer, which could’ve made everything easier. Instead, Mirae felt it would just be an even bigger disappointment when he deleted her number from his contacts with disgust in his eyes.

  Because let’s face it, Baekhyun was perfect. Fit, handsome, easygoing, yes. He was the CEO of his own company, Privé, one of the region’s hottest fashion and skin-care brands. If she were to go by the loud laughs of the friends he was dining with, he seemed fun to be around and for some reason she got the impression he would be amazing with kids. With his own kinds, preferably, she added. Cause why would a man of his caliber want to have to do anything with someone else’s child?

  “I can’t build my daughter’s future on what-ifs, Chae… I’m sure it’s not good for Minnie either. Seeing her mom go away for nights and seeing her all sad the next morning. I think I should just stop. Mina’s enough for me, I will always have her and she will always have me. Yeah, I don’t need a man to live a happy life!” She started rambling as she suddenly got up from her bed.

  “Okay, okay, calm down, fighter. You’re not wrong, you’re independent, you’re strong, you don’t need anyone. I’m also sure Mina is more than content to just have you and no one else. But! Mommy needs a little love sometimes, too.” Chaeyon winked, earning a slap on her upper arm from her friend. “Seriously, don’t leave Baekhyun hanging. Just this one last time, give this whole ordeal a chance. If it doesn’t work out with him, either, I promise to delete your dating profiles and not set up you with anyone, ever.” She promised, a hand rising to his chest.

  “I’d really appreciate that, Chae. I really appreciate you. Thank you for everything you do for me, for us.” Mirae pulled her best friend into a bone crashing hug, then grabbed the silky dress from her hands and went into her bathroom to get ready for her last date ever, potentially.

    Baekhyun waited anxiously in front of the restaurant. Wasn’t this too cliché? Bringing a chef to a restaurant for their first date? He scolded himself for listening to Jongdae’s advice – “You can get to know her the best this way, also, a way to anyone’s heart is through their stomachs”. Sure, Jongdae already had a family, so his advice should’ve sounded legit. Well, she didn’t seem to protest, even let him pick the location. She didn’t let him pick her up, tho, insisting that she can just take a taxi.

  Honestly, Baekhyun was never one to ask someone out so openly. Sure, he knew how to use his charms and words to his advantage, as it was how he fought his way to the top of his field, but flirting never came to him so naturally. What was he even thinking? Sure, his friends wanted to compliment the chef personally, a practice he always found cringeworthy, but the moment he saw her, all common sense was thrown out the wall-to-wall window of the five-star establishment. She gave him the time of day though, so he must’ve done something right.

  Just as he lifted the bouquet of yellow tulips to his nose – for one last closer inspection, he told himself -, a car stopped in front of his black Audi. If he didn’t know any better, he would say it was an angel emerging from the taxi – in his mind, he wasn’t too far off, it was her. Thanking the driver one last time, Mirae fixed the strap of her black bag on her shoulder, scanning her surroundings carefully before meeting Baekhyun’s gaze. Her lips perked up into a small smile, and she made her way quickly towards him, him doing the same so they could meet halfway. Shy greetings were exchanged before Baekhyun handed her the bouquet. He blushed slightly, thankfully hidden in the darkness of the night.

  The date was – for a lack of a better word – exceptional. While Mirae was completely ready to listen to endless hours of boring business talk from the young CEO, Baekhyun seemed a lot more interested in getting to know her than most of her recent dates. He asked about her childhood dreams, her deepest fears and most memorable trips and told her about himself in return. The conversation was balanced and Baekhyun was not opposed to taking her recommendations in consideration when it came to choosing appetizers, wine or dessert. Dessert! She couldn’t even remember the last time she and her date stayed until dessert. However, the closer the end of the date seemed, the more tense she got. It was soon time to tell him. It was soon all come crashing down again.

  “Let me drive you home” Baekhyun spoke up, breaking her out of her momentary haze. Seeing as he was just putting away his credit card, it was clear he has paid for everything already.

  “Did you really pay for all of this? Let me pay half of it” She protested, not even reacting to his initial proposition. A smile creeped up on his face upon seeing her surprise. Gosh, did he wanted to surprise her more in the future.

  “Maybe I’ll let you pay on our second date” He mentioned while helping her put on her coat. “If you’ll want to meet me again, that is.” He added, a glimmer of hope etched into his voice.

  It won’t depend on me, honestly, she wanted to add, but chose to just smile at him kindly. They exited the restaurant and Baekhyun didn’t need to do much convincing to let him take her home. She could enjoy these last few minutes with him; and it would be easier to just walk up to her apartment with her heart broken once more.

  The car round was silent on her part. Baekhyun played music on a low volume, but tried to upkeep small conversation. He could sense that something was off. He couldn’t have imagined this spark between them back in the restaurant. He could swear her smiles and laughs were genuine and she truthfully seemed interested in him. Byun Baekhyun, the 29-year-old human, not Byun Baekhyun, the CEO, the ATM on two legs. Did he say something? Was she offended that he paid the bill?

  “Hey, is everything alright?” He questioned after parking the car right in front of the address she gave him. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. If I did, I’m terribly sorry.”

  “No, no, that’s not it-“ Mirae took a deep breath and unbuckled her seatbelt. Turning towards him, she inhaled deeply once more. “I really enjoyed everything today. I can’t even begin to tell you, how much. You’re wonderful, so I think you deserve full honesty from me.” She fumbled with her fingers, voice suddenly small. “This is the part where all of them change their mind, so don’t feel bad at all, I understand.” Baekhyun would’ve lied if he said her words didn’t concern him. What was she talking about? After another deep inhale, she looked up, deep into his eyes. “I have a daughter, 4 years old, from a previous relationship.”

  “Okay, and?” was Baekhyun’s immediate response. He was honestly expecting something truly terrible, jarring, something a lot worse.

  “And? You’re not – I don’t know – mad? Disappointed? You don’t want to kick me out of your car as soon as possible?” She queried, absolutely puzzled by his reaction. “You really don’t have to act nice, I sincerely understand if you never want to see me again.”

  “I feel like you’ve had some pretty big assholes bring you on a date before, hm?” He gave her a lopsided smile. “If anything, I admire you even more. You’re a single mother, you work a tiring job and still make time for hopeless men like myself. But I think this is a bigger topic, something we could discuss on our second date. What do you say?” He leaned over to her, pressing a small kiss on her cheek. Her exes grew twice their size – because of his words or the small peck, she wasn’t sure.

  “I-… You really won’t stand me up, right? Because if you’re planning to do that, just do it now. It would be easier for both of us.”

  “Hey, I promise, this is not me pushing you away with an empty promise to never call you again. This is me, wanting to hear you full story, in a place and time you’re comfortable in. I don’t think my car’s the most ideal. How about this? Give me your phone?” She was so dazed, she put her phone in his palm without question. “This is my address. Which night are you free this week? Our second date can be at my place, I can cook us something, we can eat and watch a movie, and when you’re comfortable, you can tell me everything about her.” He gave back the device, sure enough with an address typed into her notes.

  “I could make my Wednesday night free, if that works.” She answered shyly. The inside of the car was getting hotter with every second. Or was it just her? Was it because this man could not be real?

  “Perfect, it’s a date then. Want me to pick you up or do you just want to drop by at 7?”

    “Chae, you don’t understand, he’s perfect.”

  This night, tissues were not spared. Ice cream was eaten, but not in sorrow. Mirae felt like she was floating on cloud 9. Maybe she was. Maybe it was all a dream – it sure seemed to good to be true.

  “Oh, is he now, Miss I Don’t Need A Man?” Her friend teased smugly. Oh, she was never gonna live this down.

  “No, really, I still can’t believe he wants a second date. What if it actually works out?”

  “Oh, we’re building on what-ifs now, Drama Queen?”

  “Shut up!”

    “Mommy, you look really pretty!” Mina exclaimed excitedly as soon as her mother exited her bedroom in her light jeans and blush colored blouse. She felt a lot more relaxed than in last week’s beautiful but restricting dress. “and happy, too!”

  “Thank you, sweetie” she cooed before she swept the little human in her arms. “Do you promise to behave for eonnie while mommy’s not home, like you always do?”

  “Of course, mommy!” She clapped her tiny hands together, right before leaning in and leaving a big smooch on her mom’s cheek. “Who are you meeting, mommy?”

  “I’m just visiting a friend I met this weekend, honey. I might be home late, so go to sleep with Chaeyon eonnie, okay?”

  After making sure Chae had all necessities at hand to deal with her little princess, Mirae put on her boots and coat, kissing her daughter one last time before exiting the apartment. This time, she decided to drive to Baekhyun’s instead of calling a taxi. She was a bit early, as she liked to be, when she parked in front of the simple family house in Gangnam. Was it really where Baekhyun lived? Wasn’t he living alone? Before she could question herself any longer, Baekhyun’s tuft of chocolate hair appeared at the front door, cheerfully waving towards her car. Quickly exiting and locking the vehicle, she hurried to the door with a bottle of wine in her hand.

  Baekhyun really outdid himself with the preparation. The table was set nicely for the two of them, and from the dining room she could see the living room couch decorated with soft looking pillows and blankets. While he was opening the wine bottle, she took a good look at the table full of side dishes and delicious food. Baekhyun’s soft voice, only slightly above a whisper, snapped her out of her thoughts. “I realize this is now the second date I took a chef on a date where she had to eat food probably worse than she can make at home, but I hope you don’t mind too much.”

  “And this is the second date I’m wearing my own clothes instead of the ones you designed, yet you don’t seem too bothered about it either” she joked lightly, hoping to ease his nerves – and simultaneously her own, too. A genuine smile appeared on Baekhyun’s face before his chuckle filled the whole room.

  Once they sat down and started eating they easily fell into conversation. How their week went so far, the plans they had for the rest of it. It was so easy talking to each other, almost like they’d known each other for far longer than the week they actually had. And just like before, Mirae could feel the heavy topic of her private life creeping up on her. As if reading her mind, Baekhyun spoke up, wine glass in one hand. “You know, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with. But I’d really like to know about your story, your daughter.” And yet again, with only a few words he managed to put her mind at ease, as if it was the easiest thing on Earth to tell him everything. He suggested moving to the couch, leaving the empty dishes on the table. He started clicking buttons on the remote of the TV, a seemingly endless list of movies appearing on screen shortly after. While he was reading through the titles, Mirae made herself comfortable between the pillows and blankets. “Have you seen Enola Holmes? I never got around to watching it.”

  “I haven’t either, we can watch that” she replied, smiling at him when she realized he turned his whole body towards her when he asked for her opinion. After starting the movie, he also made his way to the couch, sitting down a bit further away from her than he would’ve originally liked to, but he didn’t want to invade her personal space. Not yet, at least. He grabbed a pillow and put it in his lap, pulling his legs up on the couch so that his body was turned towards her. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, her body also turned towards him, her lips curling into a nervous smile. “Mina’s 4 years old. She’s going to kindergarten now and she absolutely loves it. She only made two friends, but she plays with them all the time and I’m really happy she could fit in. I was really worried, her not having a father when all her peers are picked up by theirs almost every day. She still sees him once every month, but I don’t think she enjoys spending time with him.”

  “Oh, so he’s dad is around?” slipped out of Baekhyun’s mouth before he could think it through. Eyes widening in panic he tried saving the situation. “I mean, that’s good, right? Or is it? I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m saying” his rambling earned him a hearty chuckle and a small smile.

  “Yeah, I’m happy that he finally came around and wanted to see his daughter. I mean, I wasn’t expecting much when he left with another girl only a week after I told him I was pregnant” she mentioned bitterly. It was a hard topic, not something she could take lightly, but it was her kneejerk reaction to stress. They continued like this, Mirae talking about her horrible experiences, white slight jokes sprinkled into the stories and Baekhyun reassuring her for the best of his abilities. Honestly, he could’ve easily gone out and beat the guy to a pulp for what he has done to her and her daughter. He knew better though, he knew she was fully capable of dealing with that jerk as much as she needed to, but he just couldn’t help this overwhelming urge to protect her at all costs. He was sure once he met Mina, he would feel the same about the little girl, too.

  “Do you want to see some pictures of her?” she asked shyly, and Baekhyun accepted within a fraction of a second. She scooted closer to him on the couch, his legs returning to the ground to give her space beside him. With her phone in hand she opened her gallery, full of pictures of food and a little girl. With every picture she showed came a small story – it started raining when we were in the park, she loves puddles, so she immediately jumped into one and she wanted to dress as Remy from Ratatouille, but we decided to stick with Colette in the end. With every little piece she revealed of herself, Baekhyun’s arms inched closer and closer, to the point where it was no going back from hooking his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. While caught off guard, she didn’t seem to dislike his close proximity. The movie still played in the background, but neither of them knew what the story was about. She put her phone away after a while, cuddling into his side and leaning her head on his shoulder. It all just felt right. With her previous dates, Mirae was always cautious about skinship and touching, but with Baekhyun it all seemed to come naturally.

  Once the end credits started rolling, Netflix already recommending the next movie to watch, Baekhyun reluctantly left his comfortable cocoon, and with that, her embrace, to turn the streaming service off. Mirae was almost dozing off underneath the warm blankets, and he hadn’t the heart to disturb her peace. When he started walking towards the dining area, all intentions of cleaning up, she also rose from the couch, following him with a smile plastered on her face. “Need help?”

  “You’re the guest, no work for you here” he answered softly, pestering a small kiss on the top of her head. His gesture made her cheeks heat up, momentarily speechless as he started cleaning up the aftermath of their dinner. With him refusing her help, she sat down on a chair next to the dining table, watching him move around the space smoothly. “There’s a carnival just outside the city, do you think Mina would enjoy it?” A kitchen towel was flung across his shoulder, dirty plates in one hand, empty wine glasses in the other. The implications of his question were deeper than she was prepared for. She honestly hasn’t thought much about introducing anyone to Mina lately, since she didn’t have any worthy candidates. Baekhyun, however, was different. She had no doubt Mina would warm up to him easily, he seemed to have that effect on anyone he wanted to. Wouldn’t it be too soon though? How long should she wait? These times, she really wished there was a guidebook to dating as a single parent, telling her exactly what was right and what wasn’t. But there wasn’t, and she decided then and there: she would give Baekhyun a chance.

    “Mommy, can I bring Tigger to the carni-war?” Mina asked excitedly, jumping around the living room with her favorite plushie in her hand.

  “It’s called a carnival, honey” she corrected her, pulling down her fluffy baby blue sweater to make sure she was properly covered in the chilly autumn morning. “And I think it’s best if Tigger stays home today. What if we lose him? He’ll wait for you to come home, right here” she placed the toy on the couch, sitting up. “Now go grab your bag, sweetie, Baekhyun will be here soon.”

  She didn’t even need to finish her sentence, her child was already running down the corridor, towards her room. Last night they had the big talk. Mommy’s friend, Baekhyun was coming over and taking them to the carnival. Mommy’s friend, Baekhyun is really nice and she doesn’t need to be afraid of him. Mommy’s friend, Baekhyun is really excited to meet her, so she should behave. Mommy really likes her friend, Baekhyun, just like in the movies, so she needs private agent Mina’s help to determine if he really is a good man. She hoped being a girl on a mission would ease Mina’s mind enough to not be too nervous around Baekhyun. She wasn’t particularly afraid of strangers, but she tended to be shy. Mirae was also afraid she would associate spending time with a grown man to spending time with her father, which she always threw a fuss about. She always said her dad was boring, that they just watched cartoons and ate fast food when she was at his place. Mirae scolded him every time for this, but things never changed. Just as Mina arrived at her feet, Hello Kitty backpack on her shoulders, there was a knock on the door. “Woo, he’s here!” the toddler exclaimed and Mirae couldn’t help but chuckle as she went to open the door. There he stood, dressed in his own streetwear, eyes shining, grin wide, with a bouquet of yellow tulips in his hand. After letting him in and thanking him she excused herself to the kitchen to search for a vase. When she came back, to her biggest surprise, Baekhyun was crouching in front of Mina, handing her a very small bouquet of various colorful flowers.

  “Shin Mina, what do we say?” She scolded playfully, arms crossed in front of her chest.

  “Thank you!” She bounced happily, running towards her mother with the flowers in her hand. “Mommy, look”

  “It’s really pretty, sweetie” Mirae picked her up, the little girl already too heavy for her to carry for longer periods. “Let’s find a glass you can put them in so they don’t get sad.”

  After putting their flowers in water, the two girls returned to the smiling CEO, Mina still having an excited bounce in her step. They were soon leaving the apartment, Baekhyun carrying Mina’s car seat to install in his car before letting Mirae strap her in the proper way. The drive to the carnival wasn’t too long, especially since Mina for some reason couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She kept telling stories to Baekhyun and asking him questions he never thought he would have to be ready for – Baekhyunnie do you think the sky is so blue because there’s so much water in it? Baekhyunnie why is unhealthy food so delicious and healthy food so- so- broccoli!. Mirae heavily enjoyed how flustered he got when trying to answer her nonsensical queries, trying his hardest to please the toddler with his answer.

  Saying that Mina went wild at the carnival would be a big understatement. Colorful rides, delicious smelling treats at every corner, it’s safe to say she was nearly overwhelmed with excitement. She wanted to sit on every ride, eat a sample of all the food and never rest. Mirae also learned a lot about Baekhyun on that date. Like when they were buying sandwiches and Mina offered him a bite of her own, Baekhyun almost accepting before realizing with disgust written all across his features that it had cucumbers in it. Or when you were on top of the ferris wheel and he let it slip how utterly terrified he was of heights, only to let Mina drag you two into the line for the rollercoasters. The fact that he was trying tens of times harder to make sure Mina was enjoying her day than her own father ever did really warmed Mirae’s heart. That’s why when the end of the day approached and Baekhyun dropped them off she didn’t refuse the idea of a fourth date, and didn’t hesitate to lean up and seal their goodbye with a kiss.

  From then on, Baekhyun was an engraved part of the Shins life. He would bring Mirae on dates every week, each of them drawing them closer to each other, and every week he would come over and spend a day with her and Mina. Sometimes they went out and did some outdoors activities – hiking was Mina’s favorite -, sometimes they just stayed inside and had fun with games and movies. That’s why Baekhyun’s revelation came as a shocking surprise after three months of officially being a couple.

  He hadn’t finished his military service yet, meaning he would have to enlist within the next 6 months. Enlist, for 20 months. He was terrified to tell her this. He was too focused on starting his own company in the beginning of his twenties, so he pushed it off for as long as he could. He was horrified of what her reaction could be. Would she hate him? She told him her biggest secret on date one and he waited three months! What was he thinking? She, however, was absolutely understanding. A bit sad, a little upset, of course, but inherently she understand his want to focus on his career beforehand. She made him promise to contact her every week when he could use his phone and to not get hurt while he was serving in the navy. The moment she kissed him softly, reassuring him that she would wait till the day she came back, he knew she would be the one he marries.

    The past 20 months were terrible for her, sure. Only speaking on the phone once per week, not even being able to see his face, since photographs were still strictly prohibited in the military, really took a toll on her. But being a grown woman she understood that he had to do this, that he will be back soon. Mina, now 6 years old, was a whole different story. She didn’t understand why Baekhyun stopped visiting, why he missed both two of his birthday parties since she knew him, why he was only calling once a week – not even videocalling, like her grandparents, but just calling! She really missed him, Mirae could see that. Never in her 6 years of life did she miss anyone like this. She had friends move away from their neighborhood, hell, she saw her real father only once a month. But this was different, Baekhyun was different. Mina could see how much her mommy missed him, too, and seeing her sad only made the little girl sadder.

  “Does Mina know I’m coming home next Thursday?” Baekhyun asked at the end of their hour long conversation. Mina was already asleep, seeing as it was near 10PM. He would soon need to hang up.

  “No, I didn’t want to tell her until you knew the exact day you were arriving. She really misses you, you know?” She smiled fondly, playing with a strand of her own hair. One week. He’ll finally be coming back in seven days. He’ll be discharged on Wednesday, but his base is so far from Seoul his friend, Chanyeol would have to drive late at night. So they agreed they’ll stay in a hotel near the base for the night, then drive home in the morning. You offered to fetch him yourself, but he insisted on surprising Mina, and he said that would give it all away. He may’ve had a point.

  “Is she the only one missing me?” he joked. ”Good, don’t tell her. When can you pick her up from school? 4? Gosh, she’s already in school, I’m sure she’s grown so much…”

  “Yeah, I can’t even pick her up properly, she’s so heavy” she giggled at his rambling. “She’s almost 120cms now, she really grew a lot. I wonder if you’ll even recognize her when we go to her school.”

  “She has your eyes, of course I’ll recognize her! I really can’t wait, I missed you both so much. I have to go now, curfew, you know… I’ll text you when I’m near Seoul” he promised, a hopeful sigh prominent in his voice.

  “Okay, take care. I’ll cook your favorite, no cucumbers.” She winked and even thought he couldn’t see, she was sure he knew. “I love you”

  “I love you too, see you soon.”

    “GPS says 34 minutes.”

  “28 now!”

  “Only 24 minutes and I’m back!”

  “19 minutes, I can’t wait!”

  She giggled, looking at her phone and the seemingly endless messages, before typing her response. “Wow, Chanyeol must really want to throw you out the window right now haha Door’s open, soldier.”

  His messages didn’t stop, if anything they picked up in frequency. 17 minutes, 14, 13, 10, 8, 7, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, I see the convenience store, I see your street, I see the building…

  By the time Chanyeol parked his car in front her complex she was already waiting on the sidewalk, immediately running to him and jumping into his arms after he exited the car.

  “Fucking finally, if I had to spend another minute with him in my car, I might’ve driven into a tree on purpose.” Chanyeol’s grumpy voice sounded from the rolled down window. She let out a chuckle, thanking him for not killing his best friend before inviting them both inside. Chanyeol declined, taking out Baekhyun’s bags before waving goodbye and driving off. She smiled at him fondly, arms still around his waist. He bulked up a bit in the past year and a half, his shoulders broader than the last time she saw him. His skin was also a bit tanner, probably thanks to the time spent in the sun. What haven’t changed, thankfully, was his boxy smile and sparkling eyes looking deep into hers.

  They spent the entire day in each other’s arms, exchanging kisses left and right, talking about anything and everything. Minutes before 4PM they were already outside of Mina’s school. Loud screams and laughter sounded from the playground at the back porch of the school, so they headed there straight away. Upon seeing Mirae, a teacher called out to Mina – Mina, mommy’s here – and the moment her big eyes found the pair at the entrance, she ran like her life depended on it, straight into the arms of Baekhyun who was already crouching down with his arms open. “You’re back!” she cried out, small sobs shaking her entire body. Baekhyun hugged her close, smiling up at Mirae sheepishly, clearly fighting his own tears. Giving them a minute of privacy, Mirae walked towards the teacher overlooking the crowd of playing children, to collect Mina’s coat and backpack.

  “So is he the Baekhyun the whole school was hearing about lately?” she smiled at the mother knowingly. She knew Mina couldn’t shut up about how her Baekhyunnie was in the army and would be coming back any time now. Mirae nodded happily, exchanging a few words about Mina before she walked back to the two loves of her life. Mina’s arms were still tight around his neck, but he was standing up now, holding her in his arms securely.

  “Honey, you’ll have to let go of Baekhyun eventually, or he won’t be able to drive us home” she cooed, pressing a reassuring kiss to the little girl’s cheek, rubbing her back slightly. “It’s okay, honey, you don’t need to cry.”

  “Will you leave again?” Her voice sounded barely louder than the slight wind playing with her hair, but they both heard. Baekhyun kissed the top of his head, making sure she wouldn’t fall from his grip.

  “No, princess, you won’t be able to get rid of me from now on.”

  They stood there for five minutes, Mina not budging a milimiter, but her tears subsiding, before Mirae decided she would drive, while Baekhyun could sit in the back with Mina in his lap. By the time they approached Baekhyun’s driveway she was soundly asleep on his chest, him rubbing her soft hair slightly. Once parked, Mirae opened the back door and tried to get Mina off him, but even in her sleep she still wouldn’t stir. Once Baekhyun carried her into his home – cleaned biweekly by a cleaning agency for the past 20 months –, he sat down with her on the couch, waiting for Mirae to join them. Cuddled together, they talked in whispers, not daring to wake up the exhausted little girl.

  For days after Baekhyun couldn’t get her to stop clinging to her like a koala – not like he really minded. He did need to go back to work though, having been running his company remotely with the help of his right hand, Chanyeol. Mina also needed to go to school, but he made it his mission to leave early enough every day and pick her up from school. He even had to carry her out to the grill party they organized in his backyard that weekend, a small event with family and friends to celebrate Baekhyun’s return. Well, that was the reason Mirae knew. For Baekhyun, this small event wasn’t precisely about greeting his parents and brother, his niece and nephew or even Mirae’s parents. He wanted them all there for one reason, and one reason only. The reason was snugly tucked away in the inside pocket of his blazer, the gem precisely cut, the size determined sneakily by sneaky texts with Chaeyon.

  Mirae and their mothers were in charge of the side dishes and desert inside, while their fathers did the grilling. Baekhyun always loved seeing their parents getting along well – it seriously was more than he ever hoped for. Baekhyun sat down at the makeshift sandpit where his niece and nephew were already playing, supervised by his brother and sister-in-law, and encouraged Mina to join them. “Nervous?” his brother inquired, a hand resting on his shoulder.

  “More than I imagined I’d be.” Baekhyun sighed, watching Mina enjoy her time with the two kids who he hoped could become her cousins soon. “What if she thinks it’s all too soon? I mean, it is, I just… Why wait when I know I want to be with her forever?”

  “Hyunnie, you grew up quite a lot, didn’t you?” His brother’s grip on his shoulder tightened reassuringly, a proud smile sitting on his lips. “I can see she loves you as much as you love her. And I mean technically, you’ve been together for 2 years already. Sure, most of it was long-distance, but you both fought through it. Her kid also adores you, which I think is already a selling factor.”

  “Still, I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life-“

  “Why are you nervous?” Mina appeared in front of him, hands full of sand, eyes full of wonder.

  “Oh, nothing monkey, I just need to ask your mom a question after dinner.” he replied, grabbing her and pulling her onto his lap.

  “But mommy’s not scary, I ask her questions all the time” she added innocently, snuggling closer to him. “Want me to ask it for you?”

  “No, honey, Baekhyunnie has to ask this. And this is our secret, okay, monkey? Mommy can’t know I want to ask her anything.”

  “Okay!” she playfully zipped her lips, before jumping off him and running back to play in the sand some more. He looked after her with fondness in his eyes, totally forgetting about the conversation he had with his brother before – or the presence of the older man for that matter.

  “See? It’s like she’s been your daughter all along.”

  “Should’ve guessed I’ll find you in the sandpit with the kids” Mirae appeared behind her, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing her lips to his cheek. “Food’s almost ready, could you get the kids to wash up and sit in their chairs?”

  “Of course, love” he turned in her arms, pressing a quick peck on her lips. “Need help with anything else?”

  “Oh, no, your mom is running around like a rabbit on steroids, I think her and my mom got the table all set up already.” Oh, his mom. When they arrived earlier that day, Baekhyun pulled her aside – just like he did with his father and Mirae’s parents individually later on – to let her know about his plan. She was overjoyed, just like the rest of the parents, but he guesses she couldn’t fully contain her excitement like he asked her to do.

  Dinner was going as smoothly as it could, with family member and friends talking in small groups about whatever they deemed worthy. Mirae turned to Baekhyun midway, looking at him like he brought down the stars for her, and kissed the corner of his lips. Did she knew? Did one of their mothers let it slip out? Maybe he shouldn’t have asked for their permission to begin with, it’s all ruined now- “I was thinking about switching workplaces. The restaurant chain is opening a new location in Gangnam, I’d have a lot more regular hours and I could be closer to you, as well.” She ran her hand down his lower arm until their fingers tangled together under the table. His surprised expression only caused her smile to widen. “What do you think?”

  “I think you should definitely take the opportunity. And you should definitely move here, with me, you know, so you could be closer to work.” he answered dreamily, not believing how well this all played in with his plan. “Your lease is coming to an end either way, right? The elevator hasn’t been working for a while either, did they fix that already? And Mina could play out here every day, without you having to bring her to a park. And you know, we could wake up next to each other every morning, so that’s an added bonus-“

  “Calm down, I was convinced by the time you mentioned the elevator” she joked, pressing another short kiss onto his lips. “Let’s talk about this after everyone left, hm?”

  “Yeah, let’s” he spaced out, touching the hidden pocket with his free hand. “Actually” he let go of her hand suddenly, standing up from the table. Everyone looked at him, some expectantly, some curiously – including her. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now. I-… I never thought that I would find the love of my life when I went into that restaurant two years ago. Honestly, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship, I was planning to finish my military service and then maybe start looking but then I saw you and everything changed. I was terrified of everything, of this newfound confidence you gave me, of disappointing you, or Mina, and when I was lying on my bed in the navy every day, I was terrified of one day losing you. I-… I don’t even know where I’m trying to go with all of this, I should’ve practiced more, but you just had to surprise me today, as well and… Just please, will you marry me?” He blurted out, now on one knee next to her chair, with the velvet box opened in his palm. He was too afraid to look at her for a second, but then remembered it’s her, he shouldn’t have to worry about anything. Both of Mirae’s hands were covering her face, tears quickly gathering at the corners of her eyes. Gosh¸ she wasn’t expecting this, not today at least, not for a while longer honestly. But just thinking about spending the rest of her days by his side made her extremely happy. She had no doubt Baekhyun is the one – but wasn’t this all too fast? Or was it? What more was she waiting for?

  Without uttering a word she threw herself onto him, arms wrapping around his neck and suddenly she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Free hand wrapping around her waist, Baekhyun tried shushing her, to comfort her. “I kind of need an answer here, sweetheart.”

  “Yes, of course” she choked out, hugging him even closer before he grabbed her left hand, slowly sliding the shiny ring on her fourth finger before leaning down and enveloping her in the most romantic kiss they ever shared. Friends and family cheering, kids ew-ing, it all couldn’t be more perfect.

  That was, until a year later, a day before their wedding Baekhyun was panicking, walking up and down the living room – their living room –, worried that they must have missed something during planning, something will go wrong and she will hate him forever. “Honey” She ran her arm up his arm, slowly wrapping both arms around his neck and tangling her hair into his soft, black hair. “It’s going to be fine. The wedding planner took care of everything, most guests are already in their hotel rooms, your tuxedo and my dress are waiting for us at the venue and I made sure the wedding cake is the best they could make. Everything is going to be just fine” she tried reassuring him, pressing kiss after kiss on his pouting lips. “Besides, I don’t need my husband breaking down on our wedding day, leaving me to take care of our two kids on my own.”

  “I’m not going to-“ he protested, clearly not registering right away the secret in her last words. “Wait, what, two?” His eyes were wider than she’s ever seen them, and she could swear if she didn’t know he was nearing 32, she would believe he was 9 going by how cute he was.

  “Oops, did I say two? Might have spoiled the honeymoon surprise” she added cheekily, carefully watching as Baekhyun’s smile widened to his ears before she could feel his arms crushing her bones as he pulled her close.

  “I love you, so, so much.”

  “I love you too, honey. You were absolutely worth the wait.”

    “So, Dad, I’m monkey because I was clinging to you when you came back from the army?” Mina asked, pushing himself away from her guardian.

  “Yes, sweetie.” He answered proudly. Jaehyun was already snoring soundly on his shoulder.

  “Then why did you not just say that? Why did I have to listen to your whole story with mom again?” Mina whined. Just as she was about to give him a piece of her mind – like the scary, independent, full of anger 10-year-old she was – Mirae emerged from the kitchen, an apron still draped around her front. “Mom, dad is the worst!”

  “Tell me about it, monkey” Mirae picked her up, ruffling her hair. With a big puff of air escaping her small lips, Mina crossed her arms.

  “I hate that nickname.”

#baekhyun #baekhyun oneshot #hi i'm back? #forgot how i used to tag shit

[imreallystressed]

nothing is okay /j (pt. 3)

word count: ~2,200 pairings: it’s literally just platonic (obviously) creativitwins, some angst some comfort warnings: angst angst angst, with the comfort being a slightly-more-cathartic-than-usual-bandaid. roman and remus both have what amount to identity crises. buildings falling apart? mention of puking. general creepy language (both in the remus way and like horror-esque). swearing! notes: oh boy. i’d say i’m sorry but i know exactly what i’m doing. my favorite part is literally just “whimsy-twinsy”, which should surprise no one!! also apologies for procrastinating this for so long!!! first! - prev! - next! AO3 LINK

Roman was fairly sure he was going to pass out. He probably could’ve communicated this to Remus, who was definitely talking to him, but he couldn’t actually hear anything over the blood pounding in his head. 

He suddenly wished fervently that he hadn’t closed the door behind him. Or agreed to this. Or gotten out of bed at all.

“Roman, for fuck’s sake, are you even conscious?” Remus shouted, loudly enough to snap Roman out of his trance.

“Uh- yeah, yeah! What’s up?” Roman said. Remus raised an eyebrow, and he sighed. “I didn’t believe that one either.”

“What the fuck did you do? Honestly, if this was on purpose, I’m impressed, but judging by the fact that you just went catatonic as a dead rat I’m going to have to assume this was a mistake.”

“Can we just go?” Roman snapped, yanking his hand from Remus and forcing himself to face the landscape before him. His beautiful rolling hills, filled with secrets from his subconscious and little reminders of Thomas’ life were gone, replaced with a forest that ached of too many thunderstorms and loneliness. The trees were hunched over the path like they were ready to reach out and grab whichever unlucky traveler dared head through the woods.

Roman steadied himself, which basically meant firmly shoving his racing heart to the back of his mind and starting down the path. Remus followed, uncharacteristically silent.

The further they got in the suffocating atmosphere, the more off-balance Roman felt. The forest really did feel like it was pulling at them, vines unfurling in his face and weeds curling around his boots. Every ounce of the environment screamed unstable, it felt like some kind of apocalypse had once flattened it.

Roman wished Remus would just say something, anything, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood, walking a few steps behind Roman and keeping his head down, glowering through his bangs.

He was fully aware his breathing was far too erratic for a stroll in the woods, and immediately felt a pang of guilt as he wondered if it was affecting Thomas. That train of thought lead him directly to Virgil, and then he had the fleeting thought that maybe it was Virgil’s panic affecting him.

He looked up and saw some kind of eyeless creature watching them through the branches, and there went that thought.

Roman danced through old daydreams in his head, trying to settle on something to think of other than the possibly perilous danger he was in, but after fifteen minutes of failing every idea he thought of, he gave up.

This was conveniently when they came to a crossroads and he was forced to pause. Remus stood beside him, the maybe-six-inches between them like a gaping chasm.

“Do you remember the way?” Roman asked quietly.

“I haven’t been since... yeah,” Remus trailed off, peering around the corner. “You’d know better.”

“You think I’ve been since then?”

Remus looked up at him with a hint of shock in his eyes, and Roman’s heart ached. “You haven’t?”

“What, you think I enjoy literally and empathetically lo-jacking my friends every day?” Roman asked. He’d intended for it to come out jokingly, but the tremble in his voice dashed that dream instantly. Remus gave him an incredulous look.

“You could know everyone’s deepest secrets.”

“I don’t want to know everyone’s deepest secrets!” Roman said, equal parts upset and offended that Remus would think he’d spy on them like that.

Remus turned away, looking down the path to their right, clearly uncomfortable. “Well, then I guess we just have to try each one, right?”

“What if the path doesn’t even lead to the fountain?” Roman blurted, before he could stop himself. “What if this is all some wild goose chase?”

“Geese are pretty fun!”

Roman smacked Remus gently on the shoulder. “I mean it.”

“I know. I’m trying not to think about it.”

“You of all people should know that that doesn’t work,” Roman said, trying for levity and falling somewhere between ‘miserable’ and ‘actually offensive’.

Remus frowned at him. “You sound like Logan.”

Roman blinked. “Oh my god, I do. What’s happening to me? Is this the mom instinct?”

Remus began cackling, and Roman started giggling a little deliriously.

“And stop with the what ifs. That’s Virgil’s thing. The fact that you’re even saying that means we’re almost certainly on the right path. Now c’mon, we’re racing. Last one there has to suck a horse dick!”

“No-”

Roman did actually beat Remus there, who seemed far too comfortable with his fate, and both turned to look at the scene before them.

Roman’s heart dropped a little further.

“That’s - well. At least that’s it, right?” Remus said, his voice pointedly cheery. Roman nodded woodenly, staring at the entrance. He could already feel his hands start to shake.

“That’s it.”

“You did a good job sealing it.”

“I guess.”

“Real fucking helpful now,” Remus said, and Roman snorted. Careless of the wild plants, many covered in menacing thorns, Remus stalked forward to the entrance and heaved one of the rocks to the side, creating an opening big enough for them to get through.

Remus didn’t hesitate a second to dive through, and his awed “woah” echoed back to Roman.

He picked his way across the plant life, and crawled through the hole, significantly less elegantly than he meant to, and stood beside his twin.

The inside of the spring was covered in plant life, and the air hung humid enough to make breathing just a touch more difficult than it needed to be. Remus was looking around like he was thrilled, but Roman felt a clawing sense of dread pooling in his chest.

Some kind of lizard scuttled across a nearby rock, and he shuddered.

“Okay, creepy water time?” Roman said, interrupting their reverie. Remus grinned brightly in his direction and turned to the pool in the center of the cave.

“Be my guest!”

“This is my side of the Imagination.”

“Okay, die then.”

Roman took a step forward, and instantly regretted it.

If he had had an orchestra playing a score for his life, now would have been the time for the violin sting.

The entire cave rumbled to life, vibrating around them. Pebbles began to cascade off the walls and ceiling, throwing clouds of dust as they rained a twisted hail upon the brothers.

Cracks started to web across the ceiling, larger plates of rock collapsing onto the ground, crushing plants and moss and ripping vines as they fell.

“Uh, Rem, I didn’t think you meant that literally-”

“See the thing is that I didn’t, I’m not doing this, which is surprising because I’m me - move!”

Remus dove, slamming Roman to the ground as a massive boulder careened into the spot where he was standing.

And just like that, the earthquake stopped.

Remus shoved himself off of Roman, but Roman caught his shoulder.

“You saved me?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Uh, yeah. The only person- er, rock- who gets to knock out my brother is me.”

Roman fairly beamed in his direction, and Remus shook his head.

“Less sentiment, more sentient! Water!” he griped, gesturing wildly in the direction of the pool.

“Right,” Roman said, and Remus found himself missing the bright smile.

Roman walked heavily over to the water, resigned, and plunged his right hand into the just-a-little-too-blue water, squinting against it and trying to brace for whatever he was about to see.

Turns out that was just water, because nothing happened.

Remus sat beside him, glancing between him and the water expectantly.

“Uh, no offense, but that doesn’t look like Virgil.”

“It’s not working.”

“I can tell. Are you doing something different, or...?”

“I never really knew what I was doing. Oh my god, this was just a waste of time. I was worried about not finding it but we found it and it’s not even going to work because I’m just a fucking failure-”

“Roman,” Remus tried, a little taken aback.

“It doesn’t even matter if I could make it work, even if I can’t, because no matter where he is he won’t even listen to me because no one ever does, and they’re right, they shouldn’t, because everything I say is useless or wrong or-”

“Roman!” Remus yelled, grabbing his brother’s shoulders and yanking his hand out of the water. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I told you! I fucking told you everything, the one correct thing I’m ever going to say-”

“You’re wrong,” Remus interrupted, shaking Roman just a little bit. Roman froze, his glassy eyes staring back at Remus. “You’re wrong.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do, Roman, you’re wrong,” Remus said, practically clinging at this point. “You’re the good twin. You’re not useless, you’re not wrong. I mean it, Ro.”

Roman blinked at him. “What do you mean by good twin?”

Remus jerked away suddenly, clasping his hands in his lap. “I mean- well- all that stuff you said. It’s - that stuff doesn’t apply to you. Because you’re the good twin.”

“You’re saying it applies to you.”

Remus stared into the water.

“Remus.”

“Roman.”

“It’s not a big deal. I get it, hell, I’m proud of it. I’m evil.”

“But you’re not,” Roman insisted, trying to make Remus look at him.

“But I am, Roman! That’s my whole thing! People shouldn’t listen to me because it’s my job to not be listened to!” Remus retorted.

“That doesn’t mean you’re evil!”

“Well that doesn’t work, does it? Two twins, good creativity, bad creativity. White and black. Good and evil, Roman.”

“But-”

“We split for a goddamn reason. Now would you just make the fucking water work?”

Remus finally turned, and wished he hadn’t. Roman was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest. His voice hadn’t shown it, but there were tears streaming down his face.

“Roman-”

“Fine.”

Roman plunged both hands into the water, and in the ripples Remus could almost see it, so close to their goal - but there was nothing there. It was just water.

Roman pulled his hands from the spring, set his head on the rim, and sobbed.

“We’ll- it’s fine. We’ll find Virgil the old fashioned way.”

“If he doesn’t want us to find him, we won’t,” Roman said miserably, and Remus took a moment to be extremely offended that he was right.

Remus sighed. “Look at us. Two idiots who don’t even know how to do their own jobs.”

Roman’s head shot up, and he whirled to face Remus.

“Say that again,” he said, and his voice bordered on manic but he was starting to smile, so Remus repeated himself.

“Two idiots who don’t even know how to do their own jobs?”

“That’s it, oh my god, Rem, you’re a genius, why don’t I listen to you more often-”

“Slow down, whimsy-twinsy! What’s this genius idea I apparently came up with?”

“It’s just like Janus said-”

“Wait, what?”

“-we’re nuanced now, but we weren’t back then. So the spring is powered by quote-unquote ‘good’ creativity, but since we’re not black and white anymore, we need both of us to power it.”

“You lost me at nuanced.”

“Rem. Come on!” Roman begged, holding out his hand.

“You’re nuanced, I’m not, it’s not gonna work.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that and can’t we at least try?”

Remus was about three seconds from either standing up and running or straight up puking at the obvious emotional display happening, but Roman looked genuinely pleading and well, Remus wasn’t going to examine his motivations any further than that.

“Fine,” he said, taking Roman’s hand and pretending he didn’t blanch at the answering smile he got.

Roman tugged their hands into the spring.

“Okay, now do I imagine plum fairies and sweet little birds?”

“No, dumbass, you think of Virgil.”

“Oh. Right.”

Remus wrinkled his nose and tried his best to think of positive memories of Virgil, which worked up until a certain age, but Remus had a very good memory, so it wasn’t a problem staying before then.

Achingly slowly, colour began to spread from their hands, and the pool reflected an image of Virgil, pacing back and forth somewhere Remus didn’t recognize.

“Uh, where is that?” Remus asked, glancing at Roman.

“I... don’t know.”

“Can we like, pan around?”

“I don’t know if it works like that,” Roman said, but it apparently wasn’t necessary, because Virgil chose that moment to walk in the opposite direction.

Their view shifted, and Remus felt his heart sink.

“He’s in the otherscape.”

“What?”

“The dark side, basically. Like your mindscape but... y’know. Ours. Er, mine.”

“Huh?” Roman said, puzzled. “Why would Virgil go there?”

“I’m more interested in the how. You light sides can’t rise up into it, and the door disappeared after Virgil left.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll explain more on the way back. We’ve gotta get the others, because I am not breaking into my own house without everyone there.”

“You’d break into your own house any day. You just like breaking into places.”

“Yeah, well. Usually I do it for more fun reasons.”

Roman sighed, squeezing Remus’ hand, and they both took off running.

Behind them, the pool began to drain.

( taglist [which i have now apparently?? tysm :7!!]: @glitchybina )

#sanders sides #sanderssides #sanders sides fic #thomas sanders #ts fic #ts spoilers #tw angst #roman sanders #remus sanders #creativitwins #longpost #stressed writes shit

[packsbeforesnacks]

Talk Too Much || Blanche & Winn

TIMING: Saturday, May 30th, 2020, Late Night LOCATION: Dell’s Tavern PARTIES: @harlowhaunted & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Winn comes clean. Blanche wants to drink. WARNINGS: Extremely brief mention of assisted-suicide-by-hunter.

Blanche was still irritated with the whole Winn situation, but if she were being truly honest with herself, she just didn’t have enough energy to be truly angry. No one had died, and at the end of the day, none of it mattered. It was a string of unfortunate events that were, for the most part, corrected by Winn coming back. If anything, the bigger headache was going to be with Ariana and Noah and any of his other possible-wolf friends that he left behind and not with her. She pulled into Dell’s parking lot, parked her Jeep and asked for a booth to settle in. Winn wanted to talk, and she didn’t know how responsive she’d be, but she would at least try to not lose her shit like she had with Theo before… She had just been browsing the cocktail menu she saw Winn. Leaning out of the booth, she waved. “Hey! Winn. Over here.” She gave him a strained smile. “I hope you know I’m getting the biggest burger there is.”

Winn could be honest: He was frustrated with the chain of events that had unfolded in his absence. Noah had clued him in, and the pack’s general sentiments had solidified that Noah hadn’t been in the minority. But, really, aside from Noah’s special case, Winn could handle the pack’s anger. It had been a stupid miscommunication, but it was his stupid miscommunication. He could fix it. What he couldn’t fix, what ate at him, was Blanche’s trust in him. Winn slid into the booth, across from Blanche, and smiled tentatively. “B, you could buy out Dell’s and I’d pay for every cocktail, every inch of grease to make you a burger of your dreams.” Winn sighed, rolling his neck. He needed to be drunk for this; he couldn’t possibly be drunk for this. “I slept through half the day, the entire pack doesn’t trust me, my father I guess lives with me now? But, Blanche, I’ll be honest. I don’t give a shit about any of that because I am so scared you hate me now. I know it’s selfish. But I—” Winn glanced down at his hands, hesitant to meet Blanche’s eyes. “If you don’t want to… be around me. I understand. That’s one answer I don’t have for you tonight. I don’t… I don’t know what happened, after you threw me. But,” Winn looked up, “I am going to find out. It will never happen again.”

Blanche opened her mouth to start talking, but Winn started in on the serious things before she could even start with some mild small talk. She faltered, unsure what to say for a moment as she rubbed the back of her neck with a low sigh. She supposed she was supposed to feel bad, but all things considered, her emotions were a little fried. “Winn, I wouldn’t have met you here if I didn’t want to be around you,” she said pointedly. “I like free food, but not that much. Come on.” Tucking a strand of pink hair behind her ear, she considered her next words carefully. “I heard the words ‘loss of control’ being thrown around a lot,” she said finally, with a shrug. She remembered, vaguely, Winn’s wolfish form coming at her with some sort of bloodthirsty look on his face. That was the only reason Blanche was able to differentiate the first attack from the second, though she was still a little peeved he hadn’t told her he couldn’t understand human words. Noah was right, they were both morons. “And no, it won’t happen again, because we’re not doing that again. You want to spar with me? I get to punch you in your big, dumb human face and hopefully no one will scare me so bad that my brain thinks I have to chuck you across a clearing and into a tree. Which— Sorry. Again. Truly. I didn’t mean to.” And even if they did that, it would preferably be around the New Moon. She frowned slightly, and ran a hand down her face. “I’m sorry that the pack is angry with you, too.”

Winn couldn’t help a small smile from forming on his face. Not quite dopey, but not subtle either. They could work through this. “Naw, B. I can take being thrown into a tree. Uh, or… Physically, anyway?” He laughed, weakly, as the server came over to take their orders. And, Jesus, was everyone in this town brutally attractive? The guy could be a Pine’s brother. Winn leaned on his hand, scratching at his chin. “Well, not… all of the pack? Just mostly. And I prolly deserve it. I should’ve left the note somewhere smarter. I should’ve replaced my phone before leaving town. I should’ve checked my account or my email to make sure weird shit wasn’t happenin’. It was… I don’t want to make excuses. But a lot of shit went down, and me freakin’ out and comin’ at you was not the weirdest — or worst — part of my week. And given that it was extremely bad… Anyway, I’ll get to that, but: You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry for, far as I’m concerned.” Winn scratched at the wood of the table, nervous. “But, uh— Sorry. I don’t mean to be a bummer, just didn’t want… I know shit’s not great, with you, so maybe this is a dumb question, but: How’re you checkin’ in?” He’d explained the concept to her before, a while back, but this was the first time it felt… right to use it, instead of just chattin’. This felt more… not formal, per se, but different. A boundary that he needed to respect.

“I’m trying to not make it a habit. Throwing people, I mean,” Blanche said, running a hand through her hair. The server came and went and she let out a low sigh as she settled back into the booth as she listened to Winn. They could go over should haves and could haves for hours, though she didn’t particularly want too. It was a waste of time, especially when they could easily move on from mistakes and do better. Especially when no one had died. Even the feud between herself and Adrien seemed so small in the wake of Bea’s death. Adrien and Blanche could hurl cruel words at each other all day, every day, but at least they were both still alive. At least they were there so they could do that. The thought made her want to call him, but she knew he still needed space from the explosion that happened with Regan. She looked at Winn and just gave him a shrug. “Things are shitty,” she said. Checking in was harder and harder — she just wanted to forget and be numb to it. She had told Adam that it was easier that way. “Possession sucked. I’ve been staying with Nell because I can’t stand feeling a ghost near me for too long. It’s been a thing.” She gave another shrug, not willing to go into it. “Are you going to tell me where you went that made your week so weird and shitty? And, uh, for the record, I’d also like to address the killswitch thing as well, if you don’t mind.”

Oh, right. Honesty. That pesky thing that Winn had committed to, with Blanche and Noah especially. “This is going to be… a long story,” Winn warned, hand around his water for when he inevitably needed to pause. “So, uh. You don’t know… a fuckton about my past. That’s… by design, or was.” He stopped himself. Okay, he could be less confusing. “I was born Winthrop Linton Zhou, don’t say a fuckin’ word, and grew up in Falls Church. My dad, Daniel Zhou, taught at Georgetown for years, and my mom is, uh, Congresswoman-then-Speaker-of-the-House? Elaine Delacour. We like Dad. We have… extremely mixed feelings on Mom, to say the least. I, um, went to college, went through some shit, got the Bite, and then a couple years later… killed a Hunter, in self-defense.” He sighed, remembering that both his dad and his former partner didn’t blame him, and they thought he’d been in the right — that Winn didn’t need to carry that guilt quite so heavily. “Shit got… weird, from there. I was in a pretty dark place. And, uh, I… actually don’t remember a lot. I’m pretty sure that I was a wolf for, like… a lot of the time for the next year. But then there’s a whole other year, and… Anyway, more on that later. I ended up in Europe in early 2018, took on Winn Woods as an assumed name, falsified some documents, and eventually applied to school here. Couldn’t tell you why, to be honest. I’m— uh, well, okay, so that answered exactly none of your questions, but I’m gonna pause here, ‘cause I can see you steamin’ like a tea kettle.”

Blanche sat there in silence for a long time, staring at Winn with a mixture of… Well, actually, she didn’t know. Disbelief? Not quite right. And she wasn’t sure she was angry either. Blanche didn’t come in swinging with her “#TRAGIQUE” backstory either because as much as they all liked to make fun of their personal shit it was still personal and there were things that hurt. Things that couldn’t be glossed over in a joke. If Winn didn’t want to discuss his background that was his prerogative. She sat there digesting the information. At some point, the waiter came and went with their drinks. Blanche had a water and a lemonade because she always wanted both and it was easier for a second to watch the little lemon slice floating at the top of her drink than think about the information that was just dumped onto her. Blanche took a big drink of water. And then a big drink of lemonade. …. And then a big drink of water. And then a big drink of lemonade. And then she rounded off with a - guess what - big drink of water. And then, she folded her hands in front of her, and looked at him. “... Asdmgph.” Oh, good going, Blanche. Real intelligent answer. Sure using that college experience to help you out there. So, she tried again. “.... Winthrop?” Oh, that was an easy one to start with. “You have a problem with me calling you Winnifred when your name is Winthrop?”

Admittedly, Winn thought this conversation was going to go worse than it had. He expected anger, or yelling. But no. Blanche just stared at him, well, blankly. And drank a truly gargantuan amount of liquid, taking in water, and lemonade, like a fish in Georgia. And then short-circuiting, like a fish in Georgia when you dropped a toaster in the water. Okay, jokes. Winn could do jokes. Blanche and his entire relationship was built on a cornerstone of gentle ribbing, because both of them were ridiculous. That said, “I said don’t say a fuckin’ word about the Winthrop thing. I haven’t gone by that since I was, like, five.” Winn remembered cryin’ on the first day of kindergarten to his dad, beggin’ him to not make him go by Winthrop ‘cause all the other kids had such cool names, and they thought he was gonna be mean ‘cause his name sounded like an oil baron. (Granted, it was his grandfather’s, so… not far off.) “And I didn’t say I had a problem with you callin’ me Winnifred, I just thought it was lazy, Blanche.” He pointedly didn’t make a joke of Blanche’s name, needing her to realize this conversation was still, like, fairly serious. “Uh, also my dad’s a fox?” he tried, eager to move on from his name or what had led him to White Crest. “Like, um, not a literal. Like, a supernatural fox? Huxian-called-by-the-Japanese-kitsune kinda fox? He has tails. It’s kinda rad.” Winn, no.

“Okay, Winthrop,” Blanche answered immediately, grimacing slightly. Apparently, she had two settings at this moment, and one was watering herself like a plant and the other was, well, being a dick. “Sorry.” Blanche frowned slightly  at the mention of his dad being a … fox. Furry genes. She had to swallow the word whole, before her eyes widened as she looked up at Winn in horror. “I’m turning into Adam,” she groaned quietly, running her hands down her face as she leaned over the table. God. Okay. Reroute, Blanche. Be serious a moment. She took a few deep breaths, and then looked back at him. “Huxian?” Blanche repeated. “Fox. Right. Okay. Cool cool cool cool cool cool. Cool. That’s cool. Like a werefox? … Don’t answer that.” Blanche shook her head. “Keep going. I’m assuming there’s more?”

“Um,” Winn started, and then stopped. “I— Yes. There is. So, I should… backtrack a little. My week itself was, like, fine. It was… getting back, that made it weird and shitty. Noah was mad. I think we’re okay, but he was mad. Everyone thought I abandoned them, ran away, or, shit, was dead. I’m… I don’t have a right to be mad about it, but I am, a little bit, and it’s not your fault, ‘cause I didn’t know and I should have been clearer and I— I’m doing it again.” He took a deep breath. “Adam is my killswitch. Which means, like, if I ever… hurt someone, during the Full Moon, then I trust him to make it painless when he takes me out. I don’t— The pack would try to protect me, but that’s not who I am, not who I want to be. I became a werewolf by choice, but I won’t become a killer. Accidents happen, I get that, and I don’t— I’d protect any of them who did something, but, for me, I just… If Adam didn’t do it, the guilt would kill me. I— Um, I know I said I’d answer questions about that, but, I’ll be honest, I really don’t want to talk about it. It won’t happen. If it does, you can’t stop me.” His voice had gone hard, taken on an uncharacteristically cold tone, almost emotionless. “Blanche, I really need you to bear with me here.” It was his first time saying it aloud, first time admitting to, well… admitting to the truth. What was probably the truth. “I don’t have all of my memories.”

#wickedswriting #para #Blanche #Talk Too Much #Sunshine Riptide #suicide tw

[we-are-the-rebellion]

Everything Is Gonna Be Fine - File 005

Date: 3/5/215

Incoming signal: Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is there anyone in the wasteland listening to me? Fuck, this is hopeless…  We don’t even know if people are alive out there, we’ve never left the region because of the horror stories we’ve heard. CeeCee are you sure? …Yeah, right. Ahem! I’m Nate, I’m from the Eastern OQ region, and for the last ten years I’ve been fighting in, well to put it lightly, a pretty nasty civil war. The group I was with has been mostly killed or captured and our leader is missing, presumed dead. Please, if someone is out there and can hear this, we need supplies. Wait what’s- Shit! CeeCee get down they found-

Outgoing message: Nous vous entendons. Sur routre chemin.

__________________________

Date: 13/6/215

Location: Prison Complex, Ottowa, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Nate choked out a sob and wrapped the younger man in a tight, one-armed hug. Lewis was surprised at first but slowly leaned into it.

   “I’m okay.” he assured.  “I’m fine.”  Nate nodded, but didn’t let go. Lewis pushed him back.  “We’re on a bit of a time crunch, we can talk later.” he said softly but firmly. Nate took a deep breath.

   “Yeah... Yeah, of course.” he muttered, pulling back fully and looking into Lewis’ eyes for an answer. Lewis looked behind him at Zander.

   “Hey man, you good to move?”  Zander tried his best to sit up.

   “Not really, it’ll hurt like a bitch and I might lose a few non-essential organs, but if you’re here to break me out I’ll tough it out.” he replied, wincing. Lewis and Nate frowned at each other. 

   “Zander...” Nate said in a “concerned mom” tone of voice. Lewis sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

   “Well, I would just break Nate and CeeCee out and come back for you, but...”

   “We’re not leaving him here.” Nate insisted, folding his right arm over his stump.

   “Oh so you’re part of the rescue committee now?” Lewis snapped. 

   “Hey! Stop fighting. Make up your minds.” Zander barked at them, coughing at the strain he had put on his voice.  “If you have to, leave me here. I get that I’ll be a pain to carry, and the guards here are gonna shoot you to pieces if you aren’t quick. Just don’t waste time fighting over what to do with me.”

   Nate swallowed. He hated that Zander was right, and he hated how calmly Zander was accepting this. He had always been ready to give up his life for the cause, even now that it was over. 

   “No. Shut the fuck up Zander, we’re gonna get you out. Somehow.” Lewis insisted. He muttered and pulled out a comm device.  “Where the fuck are they... Come on come on...” 

   He jumped when the door opened, but relaxed when the “guard” who came in took off their helmet to reveal Milo, very flushed and out of breath. 

   “Where’s Tara?” Lewis questioned him, pulling him into the room and closing the door. Milo shrugged, the mute boy signing something to Lewis. Nate didn’t quite catch all of it, but he understood that he was saying something about CeeCee. Lewis nodded.  “Alright, cool. Nate, help Zander up.”  Nate nodded, going over to Zander’s side. 

   “You ready man?” he asked, sliding his arm under Zander’s shoulders and lifting him up. Zander winced but nodded, pushing himself up. Nate slowly eased him up, helping him swing his legs over the side of the bed and stand up. The burns on his leg still looked horrific, but the bruising on his side was clearly the root of most of his pain. Even though it had been a few months, the abhorrent “care” the elites had given him hadn’t helped his injuries. Once he was fully up on his feet, he let out a small yelp and nearly collapsed. Nate held him up, trying to have a firm enough grip to keep him from passing out without hurting him.

   Milo and Lewis signed to each other passionately, occasionally checking a small comm device for a signal. Nate helped Zander limp his way over to them.

   “What’s the plan?” Zander asked. Lewis looked up at him.

   “We have one more person, we have to wait for them. I told them to get CeeCee but they aren’t back yet and they aren’t telling me anything, so honestly we may be fucked.” he sighed, running a hand through his greasy blonde hair. Zander’s face darkened at the thought that CeeCee could be in danger. He knew that the guards would kill her if they saw her trying to escape, no questions asked. 

   “How reliable is your friend?” he asked Lewis. He needed to know what the chances were that he’d be able to see CeeCee again.

   “They’re the best.” Lewis assured him.  

   “And CeeCee’s better than the best, you know that. If anyone could make it out of here it’s her.” Nate added. Zander nodded, anxiety still clouding his head. 

   After a few moments, Lewis sighed. 

   “I would love to wait for Tara, but we have to go. They might still be able to get out on their own, but we have to leave.”  Zander closed his eyes. He understood.

   “Then let’s go.”  Milo and Lewis both gave him sympathetic looks before putting on the helmet disguises and opening the door.

__________________________

   CeeCee was perfectly fine with breaking herself out, which was essentially what she was doing at this point. Someone in an elite guard uniform had opened her cell, motioned for her to come out, refused to touch her and then opened a vent and crawled inside. Unfortunately for CeeCee, this person was quite a lot thinner than she was.

   “I’m a big girl, you think I can fit in there?” she asked, peering into the narrow crawl space. The person looked at her blankly and shrugged. She had a sinking suspicion that this person was either deaf or didn’t speak the same language as she did. The person hesitated, but eventually they crawled through the vent and disappeared. Which was fine. CeeCee could handle herself, and this person was not obligated to risk their life to save her. It was just slightly odd that someone who couldn’t speak to her, didn’t want to touch her and couldn’t bring her with them would open her cell door and make it appear that they were here to break her out. 

   Oh well, life was weird. The only thing to do was to get out of here as fast as fucking possible, which was exactly what she planned to do. She slunk along the wall of the corridor, always looking behind her shoulder. She needed to find a weapon. There, just across the hall, an armed guard... Could she take them? She hadn’t been able to take care of her body the last few months, she didn’t know if she was strong enough to have a proper fight. She needed to be stealthy. She took a deep breath, walking up to them, measuring every footstep. Every step had to be quiet. Every breath had to be held. Once she was behind the guard, she leaped up, wrapping her arm around his neck in a headlock, pulling him down. The guard was taller than her, most people were since she was only 5′0, but she could use that to her advantage. Forcing someone who was six feet tall to bend over backwards to her height was a particular favorite tactic. 

   “Give me your gun.” she growled. The guard choked and clawed at her arm, but she didn’t let him go.

   “Get off him!” barked a voice from behind her. She spun around. A new guard was running up to her, but behind him was-

   “Zander?” she gasped, dropping the guard. Zander looked up at her and his eyes widened. 

   “CeeCee! Oh my life, CeeCee.��  

   She took a better look around her. The two “guards” were actually... Lewis and Milo? Lewis was still alive?

   “What’s goin’ on?” she asked as Nate helped Zander limp over to her.

   “We’re breaking out.” Nate answered matter of factly. 

   “Where’s Tara?” Lewis asked. CeeCee shook her head, trying to back up.

   “Tara? Breaking out? The fuck is happening?”  Lewis looked around at the other men.

   “Tara is supposed to be breaking you out.”  CeeCee remembered the strange person who disappeared into the vent.

   “Yeah, she disappeared. I dunno where the fuck she went.”

   “They.”

   “Sorry, they disappeared.”  Lewis cursed under his breath.

   “Fuck.”

   Zander coughed and everyone turned around to him.

   “No time... To talk.” he said with another cough. CeeCee felt her heart break. 

   “We have to get him out of here.”  

   “Yeah. Let’s go.”  Zander shook his head vehemently. 

   “No, you should leave me here, I’ll weigh you down. You have to go.”  CeeCee grabbed his shirt collar with her left hand and yanked him forward.

   “Alexander Ashworth, shut the actual fuck up. If you were any more damn stupid I’d swear that all those years around Kenji sapped your ability to make rational thoughts.” she snapped, roughly grabbing him away from Nate and starting to carry him away.  “Y’all coming?” she shouted back at the three other men, who were just standing in shock. They quickly shook themselves out of their surprise and scurried along behind her. Zander laughed quietly to himself.

   “I love you.” he whispered. CeeCee would’ve been more than happy to return the sentiment, but right now she was focused on getting her idiot boyfriend out of here.

   Something didn’t feel right about all of this. This was way too easy.

   “Lewis, did you kill the alarms on your way in?” CeeCee asked.

   “We were going to, but they were all disconnected already. It was weird, but we didn’t have time to question it.” he responded, looking over his shoulder. She swallowed nervously.

   “Now may be a good time to question it. I think that they’re setting up a trap for us.”  Milo looked over at her, eyes wide, before roughly jabbing Lewis in the ribs and signing “I fucking told you so.” Lewis winced and looked down.

   “I don’t know man... I thought maybe we were having some good luck.”  Nate sighed.

   “When have we ever had good luck, Lewis?” CeeCee chimed in, doing her best to look authoritative while also struggling to hold up Zander. Nate frowned at her.

   “So... Now what?”  Zander coughed, less in a “I’m dying” kind of way and more in a “notice me” sort. 

   “I swear on my father’s body that if you tell me to leave you and save myself, I’m gonna make sure you’re the only person who leaves here alive.” CeeCee hissed at him. He smiled at her weakly.

   “I know. But I really am just weighing you down, and if shit hits the fan then you won’t be able to drag me all the way out there.”

   “You don’t fuckin’ know what I can or can’t do.” she snapped. Zander sighed. 

   “CeeCee... Baby, I-”

   Before he could finish, a siren started blaring.

   “I guess they fixed the alarms.” Lewis sighed, grabbing Nate and Milo and pulling them along behind him as he started to sprint.

__________________________

   Zander appreciated so much that CeeCee would stick with him no matter what. He loved her so much, and that was why he was going to sacrifice himself for her when she couldn’t carry him anymore. He couldn’t be dragged around by her, risking her life and the lives of Nate, Milo, Lewis and maybe even Lewis’ friend Tara. There was only one hitch in his plan; CeeCee had a very strong grip on him and was one of the most determined people who had ever lived. There was no way she was going to let him go.

   “Shit! Fuck! Fuck!” Lewis shouted as he sprinted furiously down the halls of the prison complex. Guards had been alerted to the security breach and weren’t at all happy about it. A bullet whizzed over Milo’s head, narrowly missing him. Nate looked like he very much wanted to say something but was just in for the proverbial ride. Zander felt useless, like a slab of meat. He couldn’t run, couldn’t fight, could barely even stand up. How was he supposed to keep up? He couldn’t keep up, which meant CeeCee couldn’t keep up. A gunshot echoed in the corridor. Blood? No, they were fine. Keep running. Keep up.

   “Fuck, fuck, keep running. Keep going.” Lewis was chanting, a reminder to himself. Keep going. Keep up.

   The entrance was there. So close. Guards, blocking the way to freedom. No, not freedom, but close enough. As close as they could get. 

   “What do we do?” CeeCee called out. Nobody knew, but someone had to answer. Another gunshot. It sounded further away. One of the guards at the door fell, the others turned around. 

   Sirens still blared, so loud, so close, everywhere. How could anyone focus in here? They couldn’t, too loud. 

   “Just run.” Nate answered. That was all they could do. No time to focus, no time for questions. Just run. Just hope that running would work. So they ran. Zander felt like he was going to pass out. As he kept forcing his body to go beyond its limit, he suddenly felt like he was out of his body. That wasn’t it. He felt like he was still inside his body, but there was no control. Only beating heart, heavy breaths. Only running. Only sweat, dripping down his forehead and back. He couldn’t control his movements. He couldn’t control it when he collapsed. 

__________________________

Tag list: @thereasontherumisgone @germanmetal

#dystopia #dystopian canada #nate sharp #lewis spiorad #dystopian world #mike shinoda fine #everything is gonna be fine #rebellion #zander ashworth #ceecee camryn #dystopian

[jacpotts]

A Pretty Good Bad Idea | Crac

Who: @jacpotts & @crannogcruickshank & @heyjuliette

When: Saturday, February 16th

Where: The Charming Dance Hall

What: After getting matched by the matchmaker, Jac and Crannog start to see each other in a different light, mistakenly thinking that Julie and Mairi are at home during the snowstorm. 

Jac hadn't had much success with this matchmaker thing. Last year, it was someone fun but ultimately forgettable. But something compelled her to enter this year. Maybe it was the fact that she'd picked out such a cute outfit, she didn't want to waste it just wandering around to different friends. Maybe it was that small part of her that still hoped that fate would officially bring she and Rainier back together for good this time. But she just left it at the fact that she liked to be...hopeful. Optimistic. Open-minded, all of those things. She did not expect to be matched with Crannog. Hell, she hadn't expected that he'd entered the thing at all. Just a few days ago she'd said goodbye as he tipped her a few dollars for watching his daughter. Now they'd spent hours on this date and she somehow didn't mind the brewing storm outside. "It's really picking up out there, huh? Do you want to leave early so you can make sure Mairi isn't too afraid?" The question was a formality -- he was a father, Mairi was clearly his first priority. But she really didn't want this night to end.

Crannog hadn't had the clearest of heads lately. With Julie's New Year's feelings confession coming at him out of the blue, he'd been deep in thought, wondering if it was worth dredging up old feelings, wondering if they should put their daughter through exploring what might still be there between them... and in the end, he'd thought it was safer to just avoid it. To try and go on a Valentine's date with someone else, to walk a cleaner path. He'd figured there were lots of nice girls in Walt he could spend a pleasant evening with, to at least see if he had a hope of finding a spark with someone who wasn't Julie. He just hadn't expected the person he'd get matched with to be Jac . Enjoying himself hadn't been a surprise when he'd figured out who his company was, but the twinge of disappointment when she asked if he wanted to leave was . "She's Julie's daughter, so it's not like she's afraid of anything - although if I head home, maybe I could instill a little healthy dose of fear in her," Crannog chuckled. He tried to be the good influence parent, but it seemed some days that that was a losing battle. "Would it be weird if I asked if you wanted to come too? Maybe with two voices of reason, she'll actually believe us that she can't win the battle of small child vs. snow. And I'd hate for you to have to make it home in this alone later..."

Jac chuckled. "True, true, she's a brave one," she shook her head with a smile, thinking of the little girl. Her smile faltered a bit when he suggested she come with him if they were to leave early. Not because she was put off by it -- quite the opposite, actually, she was just surprised. "I mean, if you don't think Julie would mind," she shrugged. Having known Julie her whole life, she was probably more qualified to answer her own question -- Julie would definitely mind. Maybe not so much about this date, but she just never liked Jac that much to begin with. Mairi would be the only thing that would make being stuck in a storm with Julie bearable. "Yeah, I'd love to go with you. To be quite honest, I kind of don't want this night to end. It's been the best date I've had in....a long time." Of course, she hadn't been on many dates in a long time, so there wasn't much to compare to. But the sentiment still stood.

Crannog bit back a laugh at Jac's comment. They both knew Julie minded, but it was his home, too, and he could have whatever visitors he pleased, especially if they were ones his daughter liked. And especially if they kept him from having too much time alone with Julie for some kind of confrontation to occur. Spending time with Jac was so much less complicated. He felt lighter, and easier, and not that he'd ever want to escape from his family -- he loved them more than words could even express -- but it was certainly nice to have someone hovering just outside of the situation, someone who could both fit in with his daughter and fit into life outside the walls of his home, too. Crannog offered his arm to Jac, making a show of being gentlemanly, and admitted, "It's definitely the best date I've had in years. And by far the most fun I've had that doesn't involve a small child in a long time," he chuckled, about to lead Jac towards where their coats waited when the announcement came in that they were snowed in. His face fell, but only for a moment -- his daughter wasn't scared, and his phone still had a full charge, if he did need to call her and check in. Panicking wouldn't do him any good, so instead he shrugged, trying to make the best of the situation. "Well... that's one way to make sure the night doesn't end," he teased gently, not exactly hating the new circumstances.

Jac took hold of Crannog's extended arm, sighing as she held it close to her. This felt too nice. Crannog always seemed off-limits, like she had to look at him like some kind of sexless Ken doll just because he was Julie's ex. But getting to hang out with him away from all of that really put him in a new perspective. Just when she was about to offer to whip out her tea set if small child fun was his kind of thing, the announcement was made that they were on lockdown. "Oh, God, I jinxed us," she chuckled, giving his bicep a squeeze. "It looks like you're stuck with me til this storm blows over, I guess. Just you, me, and over a hundred sexually frustrated young adults who are now forced to spend the night here instead of canoodling in their cottages." She chuckled, taking Crannog by the hand and leading him away from the coat rack. "What could possibly go wrong, right?"

Crannog was usually so aware of his surroundings, but truth be told, he'd been so caught up in enjoying a night away from responsibility and tumultuous thoughts -- and maybe also just in how much he liked his date's company -- that he hadn't been very aware of his surroundings. "Truth be told, we've probably already missed about eight things that have gone wrong, is past events like this are anything to go off of," Crannog snorted. He didn't even know a lot of the younger kids these days to guess where the drama might have come from, which was a shame; he and Jac could have made a game out of guessing at it. "The next best thing to having you all to myself, having you with me to watch the chaos unfold." He bumped his hip against Jac's lightly, wondering where that had come from but not quite caring that he perhaps sholdn't have said it, not when Julie was probably at home fuming that he was on a date in the first place.

Jac laughed, nodding in agreement. "That is so true," she chuckled. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, Jac eyed Crannog. "Wanna know a secret? I chaperoned homecoming a year ago and got drunk in the parking lot and had sex with my ex. I am complicit in the madness." She made an 'oopsie' kind of face and shrugged. That homecoming was not her proudest moment, but it was something she could laugh at, looking back. When Crannog bumped her hip, Jac couldn't help but blush at the words he'd said -- having her all to himself. She was a such a sucker for that kind of talk. "I mean, I'm sure we could find somewhere secluded so you don't have to settle for that," she teased with a smirk. "Besides, I worry about what exactly I'll see of my little brother out on this dance floor, he's ever the charmer." Jac rolled her eyes, knowing that Teegan had come into his own as a teen, and she did not want to see what that meant at a place like this.

Crannog burst out laughing at Jac's admission. "Well, that sounds like a lot more fun than watching your brother and his smooth moves," he told her, his eyes twinkling. Maybe he shouldn't find it so amusing, but Jac was strong and smart and had never struck him as someone who carried around too many regrets with her. Not like him -- he'd been so much more carefree once, before he'd missed most of the first few years of his daughters life and started constantly kicking himself for it the more he got to know her now. Tonight wasn't the night for that, though; Mairi was sure to be at home, with her mom, probably thinking that a terrifying snow storm was the most exciting thing to ever happen. And he was with one of the most interesting and beautiful people he knew -- Crannog needed to stop putting his own life on hold and start doing things for himself again. Why not start now? "I think that sounds like a solid plan... Although if you change your mind, we can always make up for lost time and chaperone your brother's prom or something. Although I'm not sure if we'd need to keep him out of trouble or you ," he teased her gently as he steered her more towards the outskirts of the dance, trying to find that more secluded spot that Jac had suggested they find.

Jac shrugged, laughing as her cheeks grew redder and redder. When she and Rainier had done that after the homecoming dance, it felt so serious. They fought about it for weeks and she felt like it had opened up so many old wounds. But mentioning it now, with another gorgeous man who was looking at her this way, the wounds may have finally been closed. Jac didn't like to think of herself as the type of girl who dwelled on the past, but her time in Walt did feel like she was just waiting for her and Rainier to fall back together. Maybe it was time to stop waiting. "It was! It's what the young people are calling 'backsliding', I guess, and it's just as fun as it sounds. Though I'm trying to make it a point to move forward, at least, for a while, now." She tossed that last part in as a hint, she supposed. Though when he hinted back, she figured that maybe she didn't need to. She and Crannog seemed to be thinking in the same direction and wow, she hadn't felt nervous around a guy in so long. "Hey, I can be a good girl if I need to," she teased back, giving Crannog's shoulder a nudge. "I just don't always need to. Especially when I'm 'feeling myself', like on nights like tonight." Finally, she spotted an empty corner nestled between the foyer and the dance hall itself and tugged him toward it. In her heels, the movement was a bit clumsy, as her back hit the wall a little harder than she anticipated. "Ow," she chuckled, nursing the bump on the back of her head with one hand and draping the other over Crannog's shoulder. "I'm still shocked that you were once not a goody-two-shoes."

Crannog was on the brink of asking her if she felt like she needed to be a good girl tonight when Jac seemed to answer the question for him. He smirked in spite of himself. "And who could blame you for feeling yourself?" Crannog nearly told her she wasn't the only one feeling her, but that was too forward, wasn't it? Too messy, too complicated, with who both their exes were and how their lives were all still intertwined? Still, it was hard to care. He'd spent the last few weeks so wound up, so worried about upsetting the delicate balance he and Julie had these days... But Julie was pushed far from his mind again as Jac tugged him towards the wall, chuckling at her as he snaked one arm around her back, giving her something a little softer than the hard wall to lean against. Crannog leaned closer to her, his face barely inches from hers as he whispered, almost like it was a secret. "Oh, definitely not a goody-two-shoes. Am I going to have to do something to help you believe it?"

Jac exhaled through her lips when Crannog’s hand found the small of her back, and she let a hand graze his bicep as he asked his question. Did she want him to prove it to her? Of course she did, who was she kidding? He was hot, and his eyes pierced hers, and he made her nervous, which was so rare. But was it worth the drama that she knew was inevitable? .......Honestly, maybe it was. “Be my guest.” She couldn’t wait any longer and snatched Crannog by the collar, fervently pulling his lips into hers. Jac ran her hands up from his collar into his hair, tangling her fingers into his curls. She hadn’t kissed anyone new in so long, her head clouded over with the sensation. The only thing that could have snapped her out of it was the loud girlish squeal that came from merely a few feet away. Who the fuck brought their kid to this thing? she found herself thinking, before putting the pieces together that there were pretty much only two children in this entire town, and only one of them was old enough to sound like that. She pulled away, met with her favorite little girl who had, at this moment, become her worst nightmare. Mairi. No wait, Mari’s mother who came stumbling up behind her was her worst nightmare.

Crannog had never been threatened by strong women who knew what they wanted -- obviously, if who had mothered his child was any indication. The way that Jac took the initiative, kissing him before he got the chance to stop teasing her and go for it himself, only made him enjoy it all the more, made him have to swallow a moan at how sure her motions were and how surprisingly right it felt. Just because his life was twined to Julie's forever didn't mean that he was hers forever, did it? Her recent confession still seemed like it must have been some kind of fever dream, some confused rambling on her part -- and her confession was also the farthest thing from his head as he pondered pulling Jac further into the shadows and showing her how bad he really could be. Soon, though, that thought too was banished as he pulled apart from Jac in shock, recognizing his daughter anywhere. "Mairi!" he exclaimed, trying to hide his sheepishness with his usual enthusiasm for his daughter's presence. If he acted like it wasn't a big deal, then it didn't have to be a big deal, right? If he brushed it off as if kissing her Aunt Jac was completely normal, then Crannog thought maybe he could get away without too much of an aftershock... and then he saw Julie. "I didn't know you two were coming," he explained, his voice calm even as he tried to sneak a hint of apology into it, turning between his family and Jac almost like a deer caught by headlights.

Julie really hadn't been trying to go to the dance at all. After Crannog rejected her New Year's confession by ignoring the fuck out of it, Julie was pretty content to just ignore the fuck out of love itself and just focus on her daughter. Except her daughter was way way more interested in talking about the big dance than she was in anything else Julie wanted to do that night. So despite how late it was to decide to go, Julie dressed herself and Mairi up in their nicest dresses and went to the dance under the condition that they'd only stay for a little while and try their best to not bother Crannog and whoever his date was. Which seemed to work fine for most of the time they'd been there, since they actually hadn't come across Crannog at all. But then, after finding out that the snow had gotten bed enough that they'd be locked in for the night, Julie decided that she didn't care that much about giving Crannog space and gave Mairi permission to hunt him down while she followed behind to make sure Mairi didn't get lost or trampled in the crowd. Even though Julie liked to avoid wondering if she and her brother were conceived while their father was still a beast, she had to admit her kid was a little unnaturally good at tracking her targets down, since Mairi managed to find Crannog within only a couple minutes. Right in time for them to see him making out with Mairi's favorite babysitter, a fact Mairi obnoxiously reminded her of with an excited squeal of delight that took Julie right out of the initial shock of running into Crannog getting steamy with Jac and straight into full on murderous rage. Of course he'd have gotten matched with Jac, of all bitches. The girl had been wedging her big ass head into Julie's family and on to her last nerves since they were kids and Jac regularly stole all of her twin brother's attention. "She wanted to come see the dance, so we had a change of plans." Julie crossed her arms over her chest and tried her best to keep her face and voice perfectly neutral in response, for Mairi's sake. "Jacqueline, it's super great you're here though. I'm sure Ri would love to hang out with you for a little bit, while her daddy and I chat, kay? Good." Julie didn't even bother waiting for anyone's response as she walked over to the pair, pushed Jac towards Mairi and pulled Crannog by the wrist in the opposite direction.

#( interaction: crannog ) #( feat: crannog ) #( interaction: juliette ) #( feat: juliette )

[cryptidsandcatacombs]

Coffee Date

Summary: Tagora and Oz are out enjoying a small coffee shop on Alternia. Oz has a few mental issues to sort out and Tagora is being a sneaky ferret.

A/N: Take my s/i and what they are as part of a Homestuck/Hiveswap AU where I change the canon facts a little. I am aware of canonical facts concerning trolls and their biology as well as cultural norms, but again this is an AU and also *gives you a permit that says “I do what I want”*. 

I should also specify that adults are indeed allowed on Alternia in my self insert  au and Tagora and Oz are both depicted as 18+

It was a Fall day on Alternia. Well, what someone like Oz would consider Fall weather. The weather on Alternia was anyone’s guess on this bitch of a planet anyways.

Oz was wearing a lovely purple scarf given to him by Gamzee. It was a bit clumsily made at first but Gamzee did his best. With a bit of help from Marvus and Kanaya, the scarf turned out amazing. Gamzee said it was sort of something to “make a brother feel all welcome and shit into the dark carnival family.”  The Dark Carnival being the name of the circus run by the purple bloods.It was wild and eccentric, but never left you bored. Then again, boring was never in a purple trolls nature. That’s one of the things Oz liked about them. He was still getting used to being a part of it himself. Though, despite his best efforts, he wonders if he’ll ever truly belong with them, even if he is a purple blood himself. 

“But I’m only half,” he whispered to himself. Suddenly, his phone rang interrupting his thoughts. The phone ID said the words “GorGor” on it. Oz answered it without a second thought. 

“Hey Gorgor what’s up,” Oz said casually. “Same old as always,” Tagora said with a pleased smirk. “I just called to inquire if you wanted to join me for a nice cup of coffee a bit of a ways into my area. It’s about a 5 minute walk from my office.” “Don’t you usually make your own coffee,” Oz asked. Tagora could be incredibly picky about his coffee. “That’s not what I asked.” Straight to the point as ever. “Or does practice schedule not agree with this,” Tagora asked.  It’s true the circus practice schedule left him somewhat busy. Being both a tightrope act and a tarot reader was no joke. Also, not to mention everyone on Alternia wanted to come see the half troll from Earth. It was an overnight sensation. 

“Nope, not today. It’s a bit of an off season right now,” Oz answered. “Excellent, meet me by my office in 10. Don’t be late,” he said with a click of the phone. He hung up afterward.  “As expected, he never likes to waste time with pleasantries,” Oz said heading towards his office. It was going to be a boring day anyhow. All the other trolls were off doing something or another. Gamzee was having a jam with Tavros, Marvus was off doing god’s knows what, Karako was doing his own little art projects,and etc. Oz would have called Tagora earlier himself, but he didn’t want to bother him in case he was busy. Guess that answers that question. 

Luckily, it wasn’t much of a walk to get to Tagora’s place. He kind of knew how to get there by heart by now anyhow. Oz gave a timid knock at the door. He was probably inside not wanting to be outside for as much as possible. This is another reason why Oz was surprised he asked to go to a cafe out of the blue. Being in a somewhat open and social environment isn’t really Tagora’s style. What was going on today? The door opened for Oz and he stepped inside. Tagora was busy getting his coat and scarf. Both in shades of teal and purple. Oz looked around as Tagora quietly got his stuff together. Oz would never stop being impressed with Tagora’s interior decorating nor his cleanliness. It smelled nice too. Wait, was that smell actually Tagora? What scent was he wearing? It was a nice floral scent, but also had a hint of cologne to it. Very nice combination. 

“Ready to go,” Tagora said suddenly stepping into Oz’s line of sight. “Oh yeah sure,” Oz still kind of startled. It was then Oz noticed Tagora’s lusus over his shoulder. The ferret gave him a soft bit of acknowledgement. The lusus was already used to his presence. 

“Well, then lets go. The seats in this place are sporadic and I don’t like standing around waiting for a table,” Tagora said leading him off. “Oh yeah, good idea,” Oz said following behind him.

“By the way, nice scarf.” Wow, a compliment from Gorgor was as rare as a blue moon. “Thanks. Gamzee, Marvus and Kanaya made it for me. Gamzee wanted to make me a gift,” Oz said giving a sentimental smile. Tagora made a small noise that made him sound almost impressed. “Whats up,” Oz asked. “Nothing just uh...never mind. Coffee shop is up here,” Tagora said clearly avoiding the question. 

Oz had passed by this coffee shop a few times himself, but had been putting off going in.There were a few trolls outside. Some clearly art students. Tagora opened the door for Oz to step in. As Oz stepped through, Oz could tell that it wasn’t that crowded. Guess too many people don’t want coffee at this time of day. Pity. It was a nice day for it.  Tagora was already off at the counter ordering for what appeared to be both of them. “Wow, not even gonna ask me,”Oz mumbled. Fair enough though. He probably knew more about Alternian coffee and tea than he did at this moment. Being around juggalos meant drinking lots of faygo and water. None of them were really that much of tea or coffee drinkers.  Tagora came back with a couple of cups ushering Oz to sit in a nice place downstairs. “It’s a bit quieter down here to be honest. The only people you’ll find down here are people trying to study or writers,” Tagora shrugged picking a table towards the wall. Everything screamed him wanting to be away from people as much as possible. So again, why invite Oz out. 

“I ended up ordering you the closest thing to a decaf mocha or whatever it was on the menu.” Now it was Oz’s turn to be impressed. “What? You don’t think I remember your preferences. For shame,” Tagora snarked. “But you didn’t ask,” Oz still kinda confused.  “That’s cause I know you’re still having problems reading our writing and you can’t really understand cafe jargon yet I’m guessing. Plus, I know you get nervous in those situations. Your as much of an anxious wreck as I am face facts,” Tagora said in a matter of factly voice. “Plus, you don’t think I remember this stuff? Of course I do.”  “Oh yeah. I told you that a few months back didn’t I,” Oz remembered. Tagora was being strangely open today. What was going on? What was up with Tagora period? Did he lose a bet or something?

“Anyways, how’s practice going? No accidents via the tight rope as of late I hope,” Tagora said taking a small sip of what could be described as something with a dark, burboun but very rich scent. Slightly sweet actually. “Meh,I had a close call the other day. Luckily, Gamzee has fast reflexes and a quick panic button,” Oz explained as he took a sip of the mocha. Wow, this was so nice. Tagora really did know what he was doing. 

Oz looked up and..wait, was that panic on Tagora’s face. “Hey, you ok,” Oz asked taking notice being a bit concerned. “Yeah um I”m fine.” Liar. Tagora moved to once again change the subject. “They seem to be treating you well. That’s nice to have here on big bad Alternia.” Tagora was apparently trying to prod something out of Oz.   “Yeah they are...” Oz said seeming distant. Tagora’s lawyer mind had already detected red flags. “But...” Tagora said getting to the point. Oz was taken aback.  Well, no use hiding it now. Oz was used to Tagora being able to see right through him. To be honest, having someone like that around him that can see right through his bullshit is refreshing.  “Well....god, how long has it been since I came to Alternia. Like almost a year,” Oz explained. “I’m just...I’m still getting used to the idea of being half Alternian. Ever since Dad found me and explained what he was...what I was...I thought I’d be ok,” Oz continued. 

Oz then pointed at the several troll features that were slowly starting to develop on his body. He was in his 20s sure, but he was a late bloomer. His horn had fully grown and his teeth and eyes were following after. “When I started growing these, I was with my mother who didn’t tell me who my father was. My dad didn’t even know he had a kid,” Oz said kind of sadly.

“Does your mom know you’re here,” Tagora asked even though he kind of knew the answer. “No. Dad kind of found out about me on one of his visits to Earth. He wasn’t too happy mom hid me from him. She was kind of an abusive bitch anyhow,” Oz said bluntly. “So, it’s best she doesn’t know.”

“And to be honest, I’ve been getting acquainted at the idea of being a purple blood, but..” Oz cut off trying to find the words to say. Tagora leaned forward with a raised eyebrow. “I have no idea if I really fit in. Like they can rap. I can’t. I don’t have much of the clown thing going for me. What am I? Why am I here? What can I do? I want to be part of them so bad, but what if I can’t.” Oz held his head in his hands semi defeated. This had been bugging him for ages, but was afraid to tell his best friend Gamzee because he was afraid it would make him and the rest of the purple bloods like they weren’t doing a good job. That’s the last thing Oz wanted especially since they have been so welcoming and kind. 

The sound of a chair can be heard backing up. The sound of steps moved closer to Oz. Oz looked up to see Tagora placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Give me your hands for a minute,” Tagora asked. Oz did as he said. Tagora took them both gently in his hands. 

“Listen Oz,” Tagora said rubbing Oz’s hands in little circles with his thumbs,”You really do fit in with them in so many ways. They’re a pretty accepting and laid back bunch, which you are. You may not be able to do what they can do, but it’s ok to be just a little different. I’m pretty sure they are too. They just want you to be a part of their lives Oz. They worry about you. I hope you know that. You’re going to fit in, even if you’re different and you’re not going to lose them. I promise.” 

Tagora always did have a habit of getting to the heart of a problem. It was his habit as a lawyer and as someone whose very much sharp as a whip. He may not be able to socialize much, but it’s moments like these where he shines. 

“Besides, you’re a circus clown in your own way,” Tagora joked. Oz smirked and laughed a little. “Besides, don’t you have your own song writing and creative writing thing you do. It’s not rap or painting, but it’s your own thing . Trust me when I say you’re definitely one of them,” Tagora smirked. 

“Hey Tagora...,” Oz said smiling a little,”Thanks.” 

“Hey, I’m here ok. Just don’t be afraid to open up to them ok,” Tagora grabbing the cup from his original seat.

Oz gave a small smile. “Ok but no promises.” 

Tagora shrugged. Something told him that’s was as far as he was getting right now. “Anyhow, tell me when your next show is,” Tagora asked.

“Why do you ask,” Oz said with a raised eyebrow. Wouldn’t he hate going to something like that?

“Curious. I want to see where our schedules land,” Tagora answered.

“Oh, in a month. We don’t have as many shows this time of year,” Oz explained. “Noted,” Tagora said taking a sip of his coffee. 

Oz took a sip of his as well, but Oz couldn’t help but feel like Tagora was hiding his own secrets. Could just be the mocha or emotional high he was on, but Oz shook it away as just being paranoid. 

Tagora walked Oz back to his hive where Gamzee was waiting. “Hey Gorgor. See you helping a brother out,” Gamzee said giving Tagora and small wave. “It’s fine just please use netting under those tight ropes please,” Tagora said in a bit of a naggy tone. 

“Oh, you told him about your accident the other day huh,” Gamzee chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m fine as you can see,” Oz sighed. Tagora pulled Oz into a quick hug. “Just take care of yourself ok,” Tagora said before walking back to his own hive.

“So Gamgam, how was your jam quest with Tav” Oz asked letting Gamzee in. The sound of a huge dog was running to the door. The dog lusus was about as big as Oz. That wasn’t saying much seeing as Oz was 5′2. 

“Oh you know. Crack some sick motherfucking beats. Lay done some wicked lyrics. Ya know how it is,” Gamzee said petting Oz’s lusus. 

“So what you been all up to,” Gamzee asked flopping over onto the couch. “Went to a coffee shop with Tagora. It’s weird. He’s never usually into doing that stuff. He even asked when my next show was. He’s been acting weird all day.”

“Mmmhmmm about that. I was kinda waiting and keeping this little thing all up to myself and shit, but I think you gotta know seeing as it’s not ok to leave a brother confused and all,” Gamzee said. “We’ve been kinda noticing you haven’t been your old beautiful self, so we may have kind of caught Gorgor after one of our shows to lay down the deetz. He goes to all of them you know. I know you be all not up with the facts, but he does. You perform late, so I’m not surprised you don’t up and notice him from your tarot tent,” Gamzee explained.

“Wait, what, but he hates going to places like that.” This was shocking to say the least. “He does don’t get me wrong, but he cares. It’s why he all up and invited you for a feelings jam at the cafe. We told him we kinda had a hunch you hadn’t been yourself and something wasn’t right up in that thinkpan of yours and I think that kinda worried him a bit. We thought that you might be feeling a little out of place, so he thought maybe taking you to more places like a cafe would be a mighty fine solution. I figured that whatever you weren’t ready to be sharing to us you’d share in time. So, may as well get it all out with someone who can help,” Gamzee explained with a small smile.

“So wait he took me to a cafe cause he wanted me to feel comfortable with Alternian life and talk about my problems at the same time,” Oz asked. “Yeeepp,” Gamzee confirmed. 

“Oh,” Oz face palmed. That explaines so much. “Shhiittt, he even suggested we make that nice scarf for you. Something about making you feel more at home or whatever. I was trying to use this old thinkpan of mine to think of a motherfucking idea on how to do that and Gorgor be all up and knowing a lot of amazing things, so I asked him,” Gamzee explained.

Well, that explains why he wanted to change the subject. Tagora you absolute goober. “But uh listen my brother, whenever you wanna slam down a cold one and have a good feelings jam, I’m here for ya,” Gamzee said giving Oz a soft but slightly protective hug. 

“Actually, can we do that,” Oz asked. May as well. This afternoon with Tagora may have been just what Oz needed. 

#self indulgent fics

[mama-montgomery]

Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl No More

Word Count: 2265

Warnings: ANGST, a lil fluff

Summary: Maybe Dacre’s just too perfect?

AN: Listen to Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl No More by Wet while you read this, like have it on loop.

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Atelophobia:

(Noun) A fear of imperfections; the fear of not being good enough

Origins: Greek, atelos ‘imperfect’

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It’s just not right, its

       I can’t explain why I’ve been feeling this way. I don’t even know what brought this sudden epiphany but I can’t keep ignoring it. Every time I see you, it just nags at the back of my mind. Every time you smile at me my heart breaks a little more. Its like small cracks in fine China. How I managed to hold it together this long, I’ll never know. The guilt leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I can’t remember the last time I tasted the sweetness of your lips.

       Everyday you wake up and run your fingers through my hair. You whisper sweet nothings in my ear until I wake up. You smile at me and your eyes shine brighter than the sun through our window curtains.

       Every day you go to work but you never leave without telling me how much you’d rather stay home with me. You kiss my forehead and hold me in your arms before you reluctantly pull your arms away. Our elderly neighbor says she hasn’t seen a boy that head-over-heels in love since she met her husband.

       Every night you lay with me in bed and we talk about our day. You lay your head on my chest and draw little circles on my hips while I play with your hair. I still don’t know if you like listening to my voice or the sound of my heartbeat. Eventually, you fall asleep and I stay awake, staring at your face. I always get so lost in the peacefulness of your face. Every time, I stroke your cheek and every time you smile in your sleep. I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed at that scene alone. I can’t tell you how many silent tears I’ve wiped away while you slept peacefully on my chest. You thought you were listening to my heart beating when really it was the sound of my heart shattering over and over again.

I don't wanna be your girl no more, no more I just wanna see your face at home, home, home

       I remember when we first started dating. In the beginning, it was so surreal. I remember wondering if this was all a dream and if so, I never wanted to wake up. I used to think about our future together. I already planned out our wedding and picked out possible names for our kids. Our wedding was going to be fairytale themed because you said I was your princess, “far more beautiful than Cinderella.” I always prayed we’d have a daughter so we could name her after our mums and our son, Kayd, after you. I even pictured our first house together. I already knew how you’d design the furniture and couldn’t wait for all our trips to IKEA.

       That dream is still here but it's now become a nightmare that I can’t seem to wake up from. It's like I’m in sleep paralysis and you can’t hear me screaming. I’m clawing at myself from the inside, begging you to wake me up and you don’t even notice. Maybe you were just as stuck as I was.

You can't do me right So I... decide that

       We can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep going on every day knowing I’m not good enough for you, knowing I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve the world and so much more. I can’t give you the world, the moon or the stars. I can’t even give you the street I live on. I can’t keep living in fear of the day you’ll wake up and realize everything I’ve realized. I can’t keep waiting for the day you’ll wake up and see me the way I see me. My heart can’t take the idea of you slowly pulling away. It can’t take the idea of you realizing you don’t love me the way you thought you did. I had a dream you met someone better, someone good enough for you. She was gorgeous with bright colored eyes and model long legs. She had a perfectly flat stomach and curves like waves. She had cotton soft hair and a pearly white smile to die for. She wasn’t me. 

I don't wanna be your girl no more, no more I just wanna see you up and out, out of the door, no

       I’ve felt like this for awhile now but I just can’t seem to leave. I just can’t be the reason you’re all alone and crying. I just can’t be the reason you no longer smile when you wake up in the morning and my side of the bed is empty. I wish there was a way I could leave and take all the pain with me. I don’t care how much pain it gives me, so long as you never have to shed a tear. But I never get what I want. So I watch you leave for work every day and hope. I secretly hope you get up and walk out the door on your own. I’d rather watch you leave a million times than have to listen to you yell my name as I walk down the driveway and out of your life. 

I'm not living right So I... decide that

       The guilt is eating me alive. Everytime you smile at me, it's another dagger to my heart. I’m not worthy of your sweet sentiments. Every time you hold my hand in yours, it burns my skin. I don’t deserve your tender touch. Every time you hold me in your arms, my lungs ache and I can’t breathe. I’m not good enough for your ethereal embrace. Every time you say you love me... I don't wanna be your girl no more, no more        Don’t waste your time looking for me. I’ll be long gone before you even read this letter. I made my mom promise not to tell you where I’ve gone. Just move on and for my sake, fall in love.

-Y/N.

I won't hide the ways, I've tried It's just not right It's killing me tonight So, so

       Dacre collapsed on his knees, sobs violently raking through his body. He pulled at his hair and yelled. He had gotten home to an empty dark house. You’d normally let him know before you went out so he was immediately alarmed. He walked around the house expecting the worst but nothing could prepare him for the piece of paper on your shared bed. Suddenly remembering you weren’t home, he looked around and realized all your stuff was gone. He ran around the house, it looked as if you hadn’t even existed. He rushed to grab his keys stopping when he saw pictures on the table. One of the pictures was on old polaroid ripped in half. He remembered it was your favorite picture of you two. You didn’t really care too much about how you looked in it but he remembers how cute you thought he was in his beanie. It became his favorite beanie afterward.

     Dacre was in his car speeding through the streets. He had checked your old apartment but you weren’t there. He tried the park you used to love and again, you weren’t there. His thoughts were running a mile a minute. He tried to think of all the places you could’ve gone and if you were all right. Tears blurred his vision and as if that wasn’t enough, it began to rain violently. Dacre suddenly remembered the motel not too far from town the two of you had seen on your way home from one of your many road trips. He remembered you saying it was “cute” and that you guys should stay there on your next road trip. Not bothering to check the roads, Dacre made an immediate u-turn his car sliding on the slick roads.

      You had just gotten off the phone with another one of your friends who had called to check on you. After you told your mom you had left home for a bit, she became worried and asked them to make sure you were alright. You huffed before falling backward onto the bed. The room was exceptionally clean for a motel. You noted all the little details around the room that added to the vintage theme of the motel before you realized you were simply trying to distract yourself from thinking about Dacre. He had to be home by now. Had he read the letter? Did he even notice you were gone? No calls or texts. Did he even care? Maybe he secretly wanted to break up and was happy you were gone. Is he happy now? You were torn from your thoughts when someone began to bang on your door. You had already called your friends to tell them you were fine so who else could possibly know you were here? You don’t remember telling Dacre about the motel so it couldn’t possibly be him. Hesitantly, you got off the bed and headed for the door before opening it.

       The moment Dacre saw you through the slightly open door he rushed in, trapping you in his arms. He didn’t even wait for you to open the door all the way or bother to close it once inside. He could feel your body stiff in his arms, you hadn’t even tried to hug him back but he didn’t care. “What the hell is going on? What are you doing? Why would you leave?” Dacre pressed his face into your hair as he spoke his voice cracking. You stayed still for a moment before pushing him away staring at him with wide eyes, “I left you a letter-” “Yeah, I read your fucking letter, y/n. How could you possibly think that? That what? That you’re not good enough for me? That you don’t deserve me? Y/n, I don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you right now, but I am! You think I could do better? Y/n, unless the heavens opened up right now and a literal fucking angel came down, I could never do better than you! You’re all I ever wanted, no fuck that, you’re more than I could’ve ever imagined! You’re more than I ever even knew I needed! The sight of our apartment without you almost fucking killed me and you think it's best if you weren’t in my life? I know what’s best for me and that’s you and that’s why I’m here.” Dacre paused, his breath heavy from raising his voice. Tears streamed down his red face but he didn’t bother wiping them away. They were the least of his worries. You blinked away your tears away, taking a deep breath as his words finally hit you. Dacre had never raised his voice at you before. “Dacre, I can never give you what you deserve! I can never be that model chick who looks perfect on your arm! You and I both know that! Everyone knows that!” Your chest heaved from the strain of yelling and trying not to break down in a mess of sobs. Dacre had barely let the words finish leaving your lips before he yelling back at you, “Who said that was what I wanted!” Dacre quickly closed the gap between you two, holding your face in his hands. “Babe, I want you. I want all of you. I want only you. You’re perfect, not because people say you are but because I love you. Because I love every part of you, from your eyes down to each and every single birthmark on your body. You’re perfect because you’re mine and I’m yours. You’re perfect because you’re the only person I want to be mine and because you’re the only person I ever want to belong to. I can’t even begin to describe the love I have for you in my heart. I can’t even begin to describe how much it hurt when I thought I lost you.” You gripped onto his shirt, balling the material in your fists. “Dacre.” Dacre pulled your face to him, pressing a kiss to your forehead before squeezing you in his arms and resting his face in your hair. “Y/n, baby, please, please, please, please, talk to me next time. If you’re ever doubting my feelings for you, tell me. I’ll never get tired of telling you how much I love you. I’ll tell the whole world, the moon, the sun and the stars if I have to but darling please, don’t ever leave me like that again. Okay? Princess, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’m in love with you, okay?” You could feel his tears falling onto your hair as his body shook with sobs. You nod your head unable to will yourself to speak. Releasing his shirt, you pressed your hands against his stomach. He released his hold on you and looked down at the floor tears still pouring down his face. You grabbed his face making him look at you before you pulled him to you, your lips colliding in a passionate kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him as if the two of you could merge into one being. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Not the tears still streaming down your faces or the open motel room door. Nothing but the man you held in your arms and the woman he held in his. Nothing but love.

______________________________________________________________

omgomgomgomg please don’t kill me for this, I cried writing this y’all. 

#dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery imagines #dacre montgomery fanfiction #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #jason scott #jason scott imagine

[melodymante-18]

MY FAVORITE GADGETS!!!

For me having a favorite in things, it is something that is memorable or sentimental to me. In this blog I want to share to you why it is my favorite, as you can read in the Title itself My favorite Gadget. Cellphone is my favorite gadgets. There are reasons behind why this is my favorite.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION!!! I CAN'T TAKE A PHOTO OF MY PHONE ON HOW IT LOOKS LIKE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER GADGETS IT IS ONLY MY PHONE, HOPING FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING 😊THANK YOU❤️❤️

My cellphone was bought by my mother, it is also my first phone that I can say its mine. It was given to me last year December 27, 2019 I cannot forget that day because I was so happy when my mom told me she's going to buy a new phone for herself but she decided to just gave it to me. She tought that I would be needing this in my Senior High school since a lot of research and since I am now in a generation that is full of technologies. I can't expressed myself how happy I am when she said that, the only words that I can say are "thank you" and "I love you". I don't often say that words because I'm too shy, becuase I always believe actions speak louder that words. I may be over acting about it but it's true that I am so happy. That finally I can have my new phone.

There is also another reason why I love and it is my favorite. It is because my cellphone, it gives me a lot of help and make my life easier in school, home, and every where. When I am in school I can use my phone to take a selfies with my friends to have a memories when I'm with them, I can contact my mother when I need something from her or there's an emergency. I can also used this in my studies instead looking in a book I can just browse it in the internet for the fastest way.

It is also my favorite because it is light and I can bring it anywhere. Unlike those laptops, tablets, ipad or any other gadgets.

If I'm in the house alone, I can watch any movies or dramas using my phone, I can entertain myself with the use of this precious phone of mine. I can communicate with my family and friends in the internet. I can edit some photos and videos with the use of this phone. I can save files that is important. And I can do many things with the use of this phone.

To sum up this gadget of mine has a value and sentimental in my life, I can't guarantee that it will last forever but still this is my favorite, everything that was given to me even it is not from my mother it has a value. And to exchange that I want to show them that I cherish everything, especially to my mom, because I know this phone of mine it came from her hardworks and I want her to know that it will not be waste.

This is the first slides of my favorite cellphone, that wallpaper is also taken from Pinterest, I just love to save a photo from it because its beautiful. In that screen it is about the important and the usuals applications that I use. Excuse the theme of my phone HEHE😅 thank you for reading my blog about my favorite gadgets I hope you can also shares something that is your favorite or things that you really value in your life. See you again in my next post❤️ don't forget to be updated😊😊😊always remember sharing is caring and learning new things is fun❤️❤️❤️see you again, BYE☺️☺️☺️

MANTE MELODY C.

12- STEM- MARTIN

#SHARING IS CARING #LETS LEARN LEARN LEARN #MORE MORE MORE LEARNINGS EVERY DAY

[lsgingasblog]

Of Happy Coincidences and Fated Connections Chapter 2

Act 2

Diana’s emotions were all over the place. She can’t even remember the last time she was like this.

Perhaps when her mother died, but that was more an overpowering sadness than anything else.

She can’t even remember her father’s death since he died when she was only 2 so she doesn’t remember anything about him except stories her mom used to tell, so although sad she’s not sure how she feels about her father, a tinge of sadness that she could not meet him at an age she can actually remember, but life isn’t always so fortunate for some at times.

In any case these feelings are decidedly different after all.

These flurry of emotions started ever since that rambunctious girl Atsuko Kagari or Akko as she prefers people to call her came at Luna Nova every clash with that girl managed to unravel her a bit and she was not used to being caught of her element and the girl’s attitude towards tradition and academia, grades and her overall manners left much to be desired.

Yet instances like the Jennifer Tree memorial and just recently the Samhain festival and the amazing show akko did, made Diana force to really look at her and Akko asked her at Samhain festival herself to look at her.

It’s even the smaller stuff she manages to do that sometimes catches her off-guard but she can’t help but still be so irate that someone would go about saying they’re a chariot fan yet still be so sloppy with grades and her practical magic, yes she gets it Akko did not come from a magical family and perhaps she’s being too severe, but she can’t help but feel uncomfortable somehow.

This feeling only exacerbated further a 2 weeks before the Samhain festival when akko was running around the hall and bumped into her.

Of course as her job she reprimands akko for being so reckless and not being allowed to run through the halls, akko says sorry and that it won’t happen again, like I believe that.

However I decided to help her pick up the scattered cards after she bumped into me, coincidentally Hannah & Barbara were in the library because they haven’t properly finished one of their essays, so I left them to their own devices while I decided to maybe check out more about the Arcturus words.

I was helping akko put them all in in a small box of sorts. I froze though when I was holding one card in specific. It was a Taurus card I had a nagging feeling that I knew this card. Akko noticed the card that I’m holding and told me to give it to her since she puts that particular card in another compartment, but it must’ve gotten mixed up with her chariot card. She grabs another small card compartment and takes out the very card I have a copy of. Oh god no don’t tell me….

So I ask Akko where she got the cards from she answered at a chariot show some years back and she said she exchanged her cancer sign with the girl’s Taurus one. Oh please no.

So I got up and akko looked confused I announced I had something urgent to attend and did not have time to waste here. Akko’s expression went from confused to irate and told me to ‘go ahead, she didn’t need me anyway’.

So I stormed off. Oh goodness that was rude.

However memories of being dragged around by an energetic brown haired girl and how frazzled she left me came rushing back to me.  Why didn’t I say something? Actually stronger even why did I forget? I can’t help but feel conflicted by all this. Annoyed that akko still has such a huge effect in making me lose face and throw me off guard and surprise me every time and also angry at my current self to have not remembered such an unabashed promise not only to my mother to the keep the card on me just in case I meet that brown haired girl again, but also to myself when I was small and pondered from time to time in which grand way we would meet.

I’m unsure how to feel. Why her? I was wondering and yet I admit it makes so much sense because of our shared idol and why I even have such a fascination in her.

I can’t calm down and I start pacing around my room, luckily Hannah & Barbara are fast asleep and have a bookcase separating my bed with them.

I still can’t calm, actually I’m getting more agitated. Akko’s magic while sloppy has an undeniable charm. A certain charm that is unmistakably closer to Chariot’s than my more polished magic ever is. That grates me. Is this arrogance? Or jealousy? Most likely or maybe it’s my Cavendish pride, but I can’t help but feel there’s something else behind this, was it how much I’m denying my past admiration for Chariot or that magic has become more of a necessity than pure joy? Perhaps, but such an occurrence was inevitable. I have to be an upstanding and strong Cavendish member, because we have a rich tradition to uphold and the expectations of everyone I have to meet them no matter. I don’t regret being a proud Cavendish, but it’s the gnawing feeling that maybe I could’ve done more to maintain bo- no that’s silly such a thing is impossible. 

So I decide to go for a walk to perhaps cool off. It was quiet until I arrive near the courtyard and saw a few silhouettes. I was tempted to give them a scolding, but not having patrol uniform meant that I was also breaking curfew, but I wanted to head their anyway to see who was up and about after midnight like me.

“So bet you wanted to do such an amazing show too huh Amanda” I can hear akko saying while as I move in closer I noticed her puffed out chest.

“Neh I’m more about acrobatics myself and besides if I do something it’s going to be something so grand no one will even think to mimic it” Amanda boasted right back.

“I agree with Amanda in regards to that, you have to do something that goes in line with who you are and what you want to convey to the world and that varies per person”

“Hmm I suppose you’re right, that’s what you said at the Night Fall event as well right Lotte?”

Lotte didn’t say anything but I assumed she nodded from what I can make out.

“Anyway akko let’s go to sleep before Diana or some out prissy patrol sees us here I don’t want detention no more after the last one”

Prissy?! The nerve of O’neil. I wish I was patrolling now.

Although I confess despite how irate akko makes me and how bad I feel about wanting the vision of akko leaving luna nova to come true I also don’t want it to and I can’t concretely explain it. Besides I feel it was misfortunate that akko was disqualified for the running of moonlight witch and she deserves to celebrate with her friends. A pang. Why? Do I somehow wish I was friends with akko as well?

Team red & green bid each other good night and head to their respective dorms, I hide a bit more behind a pillar so I go completely unnoticed.

What Lotte and Miss O’neil said about being just them though rings true, I decide I know what might help. So I head back to my room after the coast is clear.

I go to my bookshelf and push away a few books from the front and hidden there’s a storybook.

One I wasn’t able to touch for 6 years, ever since my mother died really. I had only been 10 at the time and she was the one encouraging me to not let go of stuff I love, no matter how much people called me out on it.

I had not kept up on that particular sentiment and I’m sorry mom. I’m not sure if I can change to before, I am who I am now, but I think it’s finally time to touch this story book again.

I remember the 3rd story probably being helpful to my dilemma so I went to take a shower and changed into my Pj’s and finally went to my bed, I grabbed the book and started.

The Virgo that learned the meaning of something only she can do

There was once a virgo called Lyza, she was helpful and attentive but lately she was feeling a bit jealous or inadequate if you will………

Diana closed the book. Honestly the stories always had a nice feeling with them and this in particular was relevant and a cautionary tale of her very own fixation on Akko Kagari and the comparison to Chariot’s magic and while it did abated those feelings a bit it still couldn’t disappear completely, but certainly enough for her to get some shut-eyes.

One thing that not all people realize is that sometimes dreams are your most honest part of yourself. Diana was having one such dream.

“Diana come on! We have to make it on time for the Chariot show” as they both went about scuffling and putting the cards away having just played a few games.

They had gotten ice cream from their parents earlier before they started playing some chariot cards. Their parent aren’t sitting too far away and they notice Akko frantically waving.

“It’s time!” she announces in a boisterous voice and so Diana gets dragged again by this energetic girl, while the first few play dates she was annoyed by it, she can’t say she minds it at all.

So instead she gets a spring in her step and put her hands in akko’s. Akko gives her a mega-wat grin all the while they start practically running to get to where the show is held.

Their parents warn them to slow down and so they relent but that doesn’t take away their pure happiness of being in each other’s company, the fun play date they had or the utter joy of going to see another chariot show.

 Diana wakes up refreshed in the morning and had a smile in her face, she doesn’t remember much about the dream but the feeling of euphoria after the dream remained and she felt today would be a good day because of it.

#diana cavendish #Diakko #DianakkoWeek #Dianakko

[canaryatlaw]

tired. long day, but not bad, though mostly just because it’s over now, lol. my alarm went off at 7:15, and I got up with a version of the song my mom used to sing that went “rise and shine, and give God the glory glory!” stuck in my head except my version went “rise and shine, haul your ass out of bed! rise and shine, you can sleep when you’re dead!” the latter phrase I use to motivate myself to get out of bed on a fairly regular basis honestly. But I got up. Caught the bus to the train and made it to the DV courthouse for some observing hours. Made it in for the morning court call in one of the criminal court rooms, I’d previously seen a civil one but not a criminal one before, and I gotta say, DAMN, watching that was seriously depressing. the number of cases that got dismissed because the victim didn’t show up in court was astronomical. like for every victim that showed there were probably 4 who didn't. that’s gotta be ridiculously discouraging for the prosecutor, and honestly makes me wonder if that is something I’d be interested in doing- I mean, if I’m going for the ADA job in NY, their DV and Crimes Against Children bureau is combined, so in order to do child crimes I’d have to do DV too, and I mean, I’ve spent a lot of time in DV court over the past 2 and a half years....but I don’t know. There were a couple amusing exchanges, there was one filing for a violation of an OP because they were in court yesterday and in front of the entire damn court room this idiot threatened the woman who had an order against him, which caused the sheriffs to try to apprehend him for violating the OP, except he ran, made it out of the building, down the street, and into the subway station, all the while being chased by the sheriffs, and they fucking lost him. I was just cracking up at the visual of this, like the sheriff’s jumping over the turnstile and running down the escalator....it was too funny. the other one was something relevant to what I’ve been studying for the past week, the rules of professional conduct. this private lawyer showed up to represent this guy who had an OP filed against him, but he was in the “hospital” (aka mental health ward) and couldn’t be there, and then it came out that her firm was actually retained by his mother two weeks ago for a probate matter because she is trying to get guardianship over her (adult) son, then came in last night and asked them to handle the OP matter, and the judge was like “.....don’t you think that’s a conflict of interest?” and I legit wanted to jump up and be like “yes, yes it is, rule 1.7!!” lol, so I was amused by that, and once the courtroom cleared out I talked the PD on the case for a bit and he was laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I hung out there until about 12:15 when court went down for lunch, then went across the street to the cool mexican place and got some lunch, then returned around 1:30 for the afternoon cases, mainly people filing for emergency orders of protection, which is what I normally do while volunteering. So I sat through that for about two hours, though there was a fair amount of down time, but hey, I needed to get the observation hours in one way or another, even if it’s observing an empty courtroom 🤷🏻‍♀️😂. there was a string of really unfortunate cases where the victim of something that was not domestic violence or stalking was told, most likely by the police (fucking chicago police, I swear) they needed to come here and file for an order and the judge had to be like “I’m sorry, but under the law there’s nothing I can do to help you” which is always a hard thing to watch, because you know the person is just gonna walk away from that thinking the system doesn’t care and is just gonna screw them over (and in a lot of cases, I’d say they’re right). While on a break I spoke to the sheriff and clerk about the police sending ridiculous cases here and they definitely echoed my sentiments and frustration. Hung out there until about 3:30, so I got my 5 hours of observation I needed in, then headed over to school and planted myself in the PAD office, trying to absorb some final information before having to take my final. I also dropped off my adoption final in the official finals drop box with a time stamp and everything for your envelope so they know when you dropped it off, so I was glad to have that off my chest. I also returned two of my three rental books to the school (my actual school is next to a barnes and noble that’s semi-part of the school), and explained I needed the last one for my final tonight so my friend was gonna drop it off tomorrow since I’m flying out, and they were like “cool no problem” so that was nice. Got some food from their little cafe and went back to trying to study (don’t know how much info I actually retained) and then eventually went up to the exam room and prepped there. it turned out the test was entirely on scantron and not on computers at all, and of course I had ZERO pencils on me, which is ridiculous because I’m always prepared for anything, but it led to some amusing dialogue with the guy who sat next to me whom I realized I thought was attractive because he looks a lot like a young Dominic Purcell, lol. so the test started, true or false first, there was a few questions I straight up could not find reference for in the rules so I had to go with my best guess, but I feel like I understood a good majority of them. I just definitely wasted time flipping through the book. then it was some multiple choice, which were also fine, but took a while again because of flipping through the book constantly. I went over it and only ended up changing one answer because I found the right reference to one where I had previously just guessed, so that was good. I finished in about 2 hours and 40 minutes out of a 3 hour testing period, so not bad. I took a uber pool home because it’s cold and I was physically and mentally exhausted, and there was some ice on the ground and I was wearing my “nice” boots which have a bit of a heel and I’m absolutely petrified about slipping on ice, plus it was super cheap so why not. Fine ride and got home soon enough, just as it was announced that Doug Jones won the Alabama senate race, which I have to say, was AMAZING. like seriously, I didn’t want to give myself hope that this could happen just because I felt like he wasn’t going to win, but him pulling it out is SUCH a victory and so much of a rejection of everything Moore, Bannon, and Trump. and the senators and congressmen and women who have re-elections next year should know that if they’re aligning themselves with those fools we are coming for you. the movement is definitely gaining momentum, and I love it. Anyway, though. got home, and my roommate got home shortly after, and she heated up some little apple tartlets that came in a gift basket at her work, so we ate those and watched tonight’s Brooklyn 99, and the tartlet’s were amazing and so was B99. Watched a little Jimmy Kimmel afterwards and then eventually got ready for bed. of course, I have to wake up at 7 and go to the airport for my 9:30 flight, but hey, bring it on. if my count is correct, not counting connections and layovers, this will be my 18th flight of the year, lol. that’s a lot. Still got two take home finals to finish, but I’m not terribly concerned because those are classes I’m actually into, unlike the ones I actually had tests on. but being that it’s almost 1 am and I have to be up in 6 hours, I will end this here. Goodnight lovelies. Hope you have a wonderful night.

#daily journal #December 2017

[reveriesforyou]

Vodka

This is sorta lame and cheesy, but it’s basically just a fluffy Imagine about Tom being a cute boyfriend and taking care of his drunk girlfriend💗 Author’s Note: This is a oneshot inspired by sorta me? My mom had a party and made a ton of mixed drinks, and because I’m a dumb baby that never drinks, I forgot that vodka literally punches you in a face when you drink too much of it? Anyways, I got drunk and ended up crying to one of my cousins for about 40 minutes about all the reasons why I love Tom? Apparently, I’m even more cheesy and sentimental drunk than I am sober, who knew lol?

Vodka She giggled to herself, ankles knocking into each other as she braced herself on the door of her apartment. She was absolutely, completely, and undeniably smashed. Truly, she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten this way, but then again, she could barely recall her uber ride home. Her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t find the correct key to fit itself into the doorknob. At this rate, she’d be out all night. Tom paused the film he was watching and glanced back towards the front door. He was pretty sure that he could hear someone out there, but it was probably just their neighbor’s being noisy. Allowing the film to regain his full attention, he did his best to ignore the strange sounds outside, until he heard something that replicated her giggle. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was supposed to be at a sleepover with her best friends, not coming home at one in the morning? Tom got up and made his way over to the window by the door. Peeking out, he saw that the giggle outside indeed belonged to her, and she appeared to be struggling hugely with the task of opening the door. Quickly crossing to help her inside, Tom yanked open the door and barely had time to catch her as she crashed in on top of him. “Tom!” She yelped excitedly, making no effort to move off of him, instead cuddling further into him, while he laid sprawled across the floor with her lying on his chest. “Do you wanna hear a joke? It’s so dirty and I know how you love dirty things!” She explained innocently, her eyelashes tickling his neck. Tom chuckled, “Darling, come on up here. We’ve gotta close the door.” “Okay, I’ll tell you!” She leaned over him, “What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?” “You’re absolutely wrecked.” Tom laughed, taking in her mussed up appearance. She still looked good, how could she not? Her skirt was just shorter, her breasts were more exposed than she’d be comfortable with sober, and her eyemakeup was slightly smudged. Her hair tumbled down her back in messy waves and she teetered on her high heels. If she had come home sober, Tom would’ve dragged her off to bed with him, but alas, she was drunk and needed to be taken care of. “She gagged!” His girlfriend giggled, finishing up the butt of her joke. “Do you get it?” Tom burst out laughing and cradled the back of her head as he rolled her onto her side so that he could get up to lock the door. “Yes, baby, I do. Where’d you hear that one?” She didn’t even seem to have registered what he asked her because, in response, she said, “I don’t think I’d be Cinderella if I was a disney princess. She gags, but not me. I don’t gag, unless you make me.” “Oh my gosh, you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning.” Tom said, slipping his hands beneath her arms to pick her up. Helping her down the hallway to their bedroom, he asked, “Darling, how come you’re not with your friends right now?” She blinked her eyes slowly and licked her lips. “We were all talking, and drinking. So, so, so much drinking. Did you know that vodka is strong? Like, it’s so strong, because, I’m not sure if you can tell, but,” She leaned closer to his chest and pressed herself up onto her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “I’m kinda drunk right now.” Turning his head towards her, he decided to play along, “Are you serious? I’d had no clue.” “Well, yes! Anywho,” She dragged out the last letter of anywho before she tripped over herself again. Tom caught her and slipped a firmer hand around her waist. “Anywho?” He pressed. “We were all talking about our boyfriends, and how much we love them, because, I love you so much. And then, we started talking about the stuff we do with our boyfriends.” She paused in the hallway to poke Tom’s chest, “That’s my favorite shirt on you.” “Darling, I’m not wearing a shirt?” Tom said, cocking his head to the side. “I know,” She smiled, “That’s why it’s my favorite.” She gestured to Tom’s exposed midriff, “This is all great. Like, you look so good. The best.” Tom dissolved into laughter and shook his head, “My silly, drunk girl. What are we going to do with you?” “Well, you see, what I’d like you to do with me is make-out. That’s really why I came home. We started talking about some things,” She cupped her hand around Tom’s ear and whispered, “Sexy time things. And we all agreed that I should come home to you so that we could do the sexy time things. Because, I wanna do them, with you.” Finally crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Tom placed her gently onto the bed and tried to ignore her last statement. Yes, she was his girlfriend. Yes, she’d just told him that she wanted him, and yes, he obviously wanted her too. But, she was drunk, much too drunk to consent to sex with him. Tonight, Tom would be a good boyfriend and take care of her, but, in the morning, Tom would be a good boyfriend and he’d give her at least 2 orgasms with 2 advil pills to chase away her headache before breakfast. “Sweet girl, we can’t right now. You’ve been drinking too much, you’re absolutely wasted.” Tom tried to reason with her. “No, no I’m not. If I was drunk, could I do this?” She took a deep breath, “‘May I feel said he/ (I’ll squeal said she/ just once said he) It’s fun said she/ (May I touch said he/ How much said she/ A lot said he) Why not said she.” Tom cut her off, “Sweetheart, nothing you say matters right now, you’re too drunk. Now just let me help you out of that dress.” Shaking his head, Tom laughed as he walked over to her with an oversized sweatshirt of his in his hand. Only she would be able to quote E.E. Cummings completely inebriated. Kneeling in front of her, Tom lifted one of her feet onto his lap to unbuckled her high heeled shoe. Undoing the clasp and carefully removing the heel, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her foot. “You know, I like it a lot better when you’re on your knees for a different reason.” She pouted, sitting up to watch him. Tom chuckled again as he began to remove her other shoe, “Trust me darling, so do I. Roll over-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence when she interjected. “Are you gonna spank me?” She asked, rolling over. Her tiny dress had ridden up even more and Tom had to bite down on his lower lip and clasp his hands together to prevent himself from doing just that. “You’re making this really difficult.” Tom muttered. “Then do something about it. I thought bad girls got spankings?” She teased him, eyeing the hardness growing within his pajama bottoms. “Stop it, I’m trying to take care of you and you’re making it really hard.” Tom groaned. “I can tell,” She giggled. “For fucks sake,” Tom rolled his eyes, “I’m going to help you out of the dress, and that’s all the touching I’m going to do tonight. Then, I’m going to take off your makeup, and you’re going to go to sleep.” “Tom,” She whined, wriggling around on the bed, “I don’t wanna. I want you to do me.” Tom laughed, “You’re going to die in the morning, oh my gosh. You’re such a child.” “Ugh!” She whined and flattened out onto the mattress. Sitting down behind her on the bed, Tom rolled her over and unzipped the back of her dress. He did his best to not look, but the zipper kept getting caught in her hair, and he couldn’t ignore the soft skin of her back. He saw that she’d chosen to wear the pretty, light pink, lace bra that she’d been wearing the first time they’d had sex. Groaning over the memories, he helped her rid her body of the confining fabric of her dress and had slid his sweatshirt over her body. She turned to lay on her back, “Will you at least kiss me?” “Yes,” Tom placed a soft kiss on her mouth, “Do you wanna get up to go to the bathroom to take off your makeup, or do you want me to do it for you here?” “Hmmm, here.” She sat up and stuck her hands inside of the sweatshirt, only to toss her bra off seconds later. Tom’s eye lingered on her chest as he got up to retrieve her makeup wipes. “I love youuuuu.” She said, hugging herself to his chest after Tom had successfully cleansed her face of all traces of makeup. “You’re my favorite, even though you refuse to fuck me.” Tom tucked the duvet under her chin and crawled in behind her. He kissed her temple and curled an arm around her, “I love you too darling.” He prayed to the high heavens above that she wouldn’t feel his excitement poking her in the back while she drifted off and into dreamland.

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