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#this post is just a joke and i didn’t mean to spread negativity at all
youronlybean · 14 days
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ChilledChaos Appreciation Post Essay :)
There’s a whole lot of negative things I can say about streamers and content creators in general, especially about YouTubers I myself used to watch and enjoy (I have since grown as a person and recognise that they are, whilst not inherently terribly people, unfunny and uncool). However, I prefer to spread positivity wherever I can, so here’s my ChilledChaos appreciation essay.
From watching Chilled’s YouTube content from back in the day to watching his streams for over three years now, he’s one of the best around in my sincere opinion. Whilst things have changed since the early YT days, it’s clear that Chilled remains timeless and just a genuinely good guy. He’s mature and fair, compassionate and understanding, funny and charismatic (despite the ‘sociallyawkward’ tag on his stream lol) and above all else, he has an incredible innate social awareness.
Chilled, outside of being cunning, deceptive and Evil with a capital E for the laughs (CTC: Can’t Trust Chilled!), is at heart a genuinely very empathetic person. For good reason Chilled hosts many of the lobbies in PR1. He makes sure that his players are having fun, constantly checks in on them to make sure his settings are fair and fun for everyone, and will always change a rule if most people agree that it isn’t fun for them. He takes criticism very well and recognises that his players aren’t being critical of him as a person at all when they ask him to change one of his rules. They respect his decisions as much as he respects their opinions, which is incredibly important when playing long-term with a group of people, especially since they all have valued friendship.
He can recognise when things are too loud or chaotic (the occasional stream mute is very refreshing for neurodivergent ears) or when people just aren’t having fun. He recognises when a game is more fun when it’s played frequently and when it’s more of a twice a year kind of game, for both the players’ sake and the audience. He also does his best to make sure everyone gets to play the game as much as possible and protects those who have died early a lot in a session or tries to make a game go quickly if there’s a lot of people dead and waiting.
(I remember when the green shield mechanic was first introduced for Town of Us, Chilled didn’t want to use it because then people wouldn’t learn. He began to use it I think when he realised that the game itself is very unpredictable, and people can’t always pay attention to everything, especially when they’re trying to stream at the same time.)
Chilled also remains true to his morals. He doesn’t do “edgy” jokes (I think everyone knows what I mean by “edgy”), and has consistently put his foot down when topics that definitely should be taken very seriously were joked about. He does this whilst also recognising that there wasn’t harmful intent behind the jokes but that they still shouldn’t be made. The good thing about it is once he tells them to stop joking about something, it is never joked about again (this doesn’t happen often at all but when it does I know I can count on Chilled to be a voice of reason). He doesn’t bring the vibe down when doing so either, simply tells them to stop, they stop and apologise, and everyone moves on. I know this has got to be hard to do on a livestream, especially in front of an audience of thousands and for your job. It’s got to be a lot of pressure. He’s professional about it and takes into account that people make mistakes sometimes and that doesn’t make them bad people. He’s also not afraid to stand up to his friends if they are the ones to blame, but also recognises if he’s in the wrong.
(One particular occasion comes to mind a lot from about a year ago: I won’t go into detail but Chilled was absolutely right, the joke was not funny despite no ill intentions towards anyone, and no joke on that topic has been made since on any PR1 stream I’ve seen. People aren’t perfect, but they can recognise they made a mistake and they did because Chilled took a stance and helped them recognise that it was a bad joke, and was able to criticise his friends without damaging any relationships or respect for each other.)
Chilled also very clearly values his online friendships. He definitely knows how to pick his friends by the people he consistently surrounds himself with and has even maintained some of those friendships for over a decade (Junk, Ze, Tom, Tay, etc.). He’s not afraid to introduce new people into his circle and has great chemistry with just about anyone he talks to. He’s great for matching a chaotic energy or a relaxed one, and is able to keep up a cheerful mood or a good vibe when things are looking rough. He doesn’t take bumps in the road to heart and knows when a bit or joke or even a game has run its course. He has moments outside of his persona when he shows genuine concern and compassion for his friends and even if he talks shit he’ll always admit that he is fond of someone, even if it’s not to their face.
(Here I think of Vikram, and how it’s clear that they are good friends even if Chilled gives him a lot of shit - Vikram does ask for it too though, lol. If Vik is missing from a TOS lobby it’s just not the same without him, a sentiment Chilled has often expressed. He always very sincerely mentions that he hopes his friend is okay if he is suddenly MIA - and this also applies to all other PR1 members)
Chilled is also just insanely funny. It’s obvious to just about anyone that he deserves the large audience he has, as he is a skilled entertainer and knows how to make someone laugh. I mean, what’s funnier than growing a moustache out of pure spite? He worries about balancing so much because he wants everyone to have a fair chance at winning because he knows that losing over, and over, and over again just isn’t fun. He’s very genuinely smart and can admit when he’s wrong, he’s often the first to deduce that someone else is lying (takes one to know one!) and very logically driven (spontaneity is his Achilles heel, best examples being Ze, Vik, Chibi and Side, all of which are either comedically impulsive or refuse to adhere to logic). The fact that he is very in-touch with others emotionally and intellectually (whether he realises it or not) makes him very good at a myriad of things - mystery-solving, game-balancing, entertaining, and literally any of the other things I’ve already said about him and in my excited live-blogging.
(Something I notice just as a general observation about PR1 vs. some content creators I used to watch is that there’s a lack of rage in PR1. Personally I think this is a huge improvement and it’s way more entertaining to watch people having genuine fun and for grown adults to not take losses as failures and not get pissy and rage quit when things aren’t going their way. And the lack of rage-induced slurs thrown around is… well, refreshing, to say the least. - more on this in another post, probably)
Anyway, in conclusion, Chilled is awesome and I have copious amounts of respect for him (even if he is addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh! and doesn’t have gutters lmao)
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baddygab-bi · 11 months
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1. Anyone legitimately wishing death to her was maybe overstepping a little, like I get the anger completely, but let’s not do stuff that would allow her to play a victim card. That said…
2. What is this apology?? Firstly, she posts this with a picture of herself (?). Like you can’t just post the text, you wanna show yourself off too.
3. “And maybe it was insensitive after all” what did you think it was? I’m cis and was offended by it because I have a shit ton of trans friends and I’m also just not a shit person. It was very obliviously insensitive.
4. “It’s not how I intended it.” The emoji she used in the story following the words “Good one” (😅) was an interesting choice. I’m not up to date with all my emoji meanings, but this seems like one she purposely choose. IF she posted it and meant “good one” in a mocking way or you intended to post it to… I don’t even know… Bring attention to something stupid… Wouldn’t you make your position super clear? I don’t think there’s any possible way that spreading that post would be a good thing, but IF you were doing it to bring negative attention, you should bring damn negativity to it. “This is disgusting! Shame!” Clearly she had an intention that now she’s worried is gonna bite her.
5. She doesn’t follow the account. That means the image was either one she saw from someone else or she’s liked stuff like it, so it came up on her feed as a recommendation. If she didn’t mean what we all think she meant, then where did that picture even come from? I don’t know about you, but my FYP and recs are pretty well tailored to me. So, if this was a “misunderstanding” how did she even come to see this post?
6. I’m a working professional actor. I just had a conversation with an influencer trying to turn actor. The influencer is a major republican with offensive views — Yes, everything you think — and I literally told him that if he wants to seriously work, he needs to stay quiet because his views are wrong and offensive and can get people killed. He hated that. Said it took away his freedom. Actors are fully aware they are in the public eye. Everything you post is thought about because you know people will see it. She’s trying to cover her ass because she knows she’s gonna face backlash and if this spreads, it could truly impact her chances of finding more work, because our industry doesn’t put up with this bullshit. We don’t stand for hate. We don’t want people around who promote hate. If you have beliefs and views that are disgusting and you have a large fanbase, you better lock that shit down. Never voice even a bit of it. The second you start sharing those views, you’re putting lives at risk. She will cry on her live stream. She’ll claim anything and everything she can to save her job.
7. “I’m sorry to those who felt offended” She didn’t apologize for the post. She also didn’t acknowledge why people were offended, just that people could feel offended. I studied law, language is a big part of things and she is walking a line that sounds good on first pass, but then you realize she said nothing. If she was actually apologetic she would say so. She didn’t.
Sorry, this is all making me super heated because as an actor and just a good person I can’t stand people who have power to influence, promoting stuff that can ruin people, can hurt people, can kill people. It’s not a joke. This wasn’t a mistake she made and is trying to play victim of by throwing it on us. This is a big deal.
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salted-caramel-tea · 2 years
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i dont care if you don’t like dream . you are purposefully choosing to ignore the point im making because you don’t like dream which is in fact proving my point .
the mcc community has a huge issue with hate and hypocrisy so let me take a deep dive into what i mean by that and why these guys ^^^ are dumb cunts
example 1- buildmart .
“ what’s your favourite game and why is it not buildmart”
that’s all i said . it’s a joking post about the fact a lot of people complain about buildmart . let’s talk about the response to that, which if needed i will tag blogs who participated in this behaviour .
• i was being whiny and needed to get over it bc buildmart if just a game
• i was clogging the mcc tag with negativity
• buildmart hate wasn’t allowed in the tags
this is the big one right
• i was asked to delete my post because the mcc tag is not a place for any sort of negativity, people don’t want to constantly see discourse in the tag which was from them on to remain discourse free
read that again . and a third time. as many times as you need for it to get through your skull .
let’s look at how the community reacted to that
- sent me death threats
-harassed me for 3 days after the post was made
- eventually made me take about a week away from tumblr bc i was tired of being harassed every time i made a post and there’s only so many times i can hit block anon
and that was justified right ???? that was okay ! because i made a little joke about not liking buildmart .
example 2- dream team hate
imagine the sheer murderous rage i felt watching the event that saturday to
“ugh i fuckinf hate sapnap he doesn’t deserve his 5th win get him out the event”
or this event to
“i hate dream stans”
“dream us dishonouring technoblade and this person is doing it better “
“dream should be permabanned because i hate him and i don’t agree with what he said”
and so many other posts .
you all complained about the dream fans using th tags but i didn’t see anything from dteam fans in the tags . just you lot complaining about how awful they are .
let’s look at how this hate was handled
- nobody cared .
-hate clogged the tag
- the mcc tag was not discourse free
- and i am being harassed again for calling that out
so let’s get into why i’m calling it out .
i don’t care if you hate dream . hate him for whatever reason i do not give a shit. i’m not asking you to suck his dick. the issue is that you are purposefully straying away from the topic of conversation bc i like dream and you think it can all be boiled down to that . it can’t .
so what’s the issue if it’s not the fact that people hate dream? it’s that you’re awful people .
not even joking . this is what it’s come to . this is how i’m gonna be describing the mcc community from now on . which is sad bc i love mcc .
how are you awful people ?
let’s recap
• a joking post about buildmart gif a blog bullied off the platform for spreading negativity and clogging the tag with hate
• the hate that actually clogs the mcc tag does not receive a similar energy and is let slide bc ppl think they’re cool when they hate dream
so what does this say to me ? it says to me that you didn’t ever care about the tag being clogged with hate. it says to me that you are either liars or hypocrites who only care about defending your own interests . it says to me that i never should’ve gotten any of the “helpful criticism” i got from people like (i removed the tags bc it felt cruel but test me again and i’ll tag them) for clogging the tag and spreading negativity. unless you two want to open up and start talking about how the dream neg is ultimately worse for the mcc tag , since that’s genuine negativity and hate and actually clogging the fuckinf tag . and i’m calling the two of you out not because i hate you i don’t have anything against you but because i remember you . you spoke Big enough to me about how i was impacting the mcc community and turned a blind eye to everything else .
i was harassed and threatened for days . “i’m sorry that happened to you but” but nothing . don’t sit and apologise to me for shit. if you want to do anything, uphold the values of the mcc tag that you were so desperate for me to stick to with a little buildmart joke. call out people posting neg in the tags, tell them that this is a discourse free tag . go on .
but you’re going to find every reason not to . bc dream neg is allowed . and every justification i’ve gotten from you lot is completely useless . it all boils down to i hate him and that’s okay i’m not asking you to feel otherwise despite the fact you’re desperate to say i am
i am asking you to uphold your fuckinf values . principles arent principles when you pick and choose when to use them . so either stop lying to me, or get a fuckinf grip and tell people posting dteam neg in the main mcc tag that they are breaking the rules of the tag .
just to clarify for a third time because i know people won’t have understood yet- i don’t care about what you think of the ace race drama . i don’t care what you think about dream . i care about the fact the etiquette of the tag is being abandoned yet again to justify a bias against certain communities. but if i was in there posting anti buildmart memes, what would happen?
either shut the fuck up when ppl say they hate buildmart (ace race is just a game remember) or keep your neg out the main mcc tags
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escape-rock-bottom · 1 year
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"DON'T BUG ME!": Another Reason Why I Avoid Approaching People
I’ve talked about my previous resistance to approaching new people in the past, but I felt I should dedicate a post to this specific concept. My fear of rejection isn’t the only thing holding me back. A certain wide-spread yet innocuous quip is another major factor.
How many times have you heard someone complain about how much they hate when someone bothers them when all they want to do is engage in their own world? How often have you made a joke about how you see someone walk in and you beg that they don’t try to speak to you? How about the times you’ve seen those quirky, edgy shirts with some form of “don’t bug me” plastered in massive block letters people often wear as a sort of half-joke?
I know I have, many many times. Like a record on repeat, I hear the same exact thing but packaged in a variety of different ways: “DON’T BUG ME.” While it’s not apparent what problem I could have with this statement, the inherent message I get from it is “Leave me alone, you are irritating me with your existence.”
That may seem like a leap, but I don’t think it’s much of one. Realistically, it’s what the phrase literally means. You can imagine what thinking you’re being told you’re bothering someone by approaching them does to someone who’s an anxious, people-pleaser type: You learn to fear doing so in hopes you won’t bother others.
The glaring problem here is that avoiding people = not socializing and waiting on others to approach first. Like opportunities, good relationships don’t often just drop themselves in your lap, ready to go. You have to seek and build them, and you will have to take just as much risk and effort as others do to do so.
Thinking about it, I can’t say that my interpretation of “Don’t bug me” is 100% accurate. I’d be a huge hypocrite if I were to say I never do or think the same in regards to other people. While I only know the reasons behind why I and a select few other people spew this message (thanks to asking them), I feel its enough to make a sound observation:
I’m overthinking it and misconstruing the message. Yes, there’s a good few people out there who 100% mean they want to be left alone 24/7, but the amount of people like that is possibly extremely small. The rest of society seems to use “Don’t bug me” in ways I initially didn’t consider.
Here’s what they may actually be saying:
“I’m busy right now, please don’t interrupt me.”
”I’m not in a good mood/mindset. I know I will react negatively if I am approached right now, please give me space.”
”I’m socially anxious. I do want interaction, but it causes me great distress when I’m ‘put on the spot’. However, I’d much rather NOT be alone”
“Please don’t just approach me to get something out of me. It’s happened far too often.”
”It’s just a silly phrase. I’m actually really social but I have a strange sense of humor”
”I’m in a current period of distress. Everything sucks, I suck, the world sucks, need I go on?”
”Everyone else is saying it.”
Rarely does the reason actually align with you in particular being the subject of their annoyance. It’s the situation happening at an unexpected or inconvenient time, or a need to set a boundary.
It’s not a bad thing to set boundaries. If someone sets boundaries against you, it's not rejection but rather protection. I get self conscious about something that isn’t even about me in particular, but rather a complex set of circumstances. It's a waste of time, opportunity, and energy to interpret the message the way I do.
I know I’m going to have to reframe how I interpret people’s messages. I can be far too literal (yay, weird neurology!) and people’s messages hold meanings and emotions that often complicate it far more than what’s seen at face value. In essence, when the phrase is used, people appreciate being approached and mean it as a joke, or are just occupied or in a bad mood.
In summary, to whoever needs to hear it: Stop overthinking it and don’t take it personally. Your fears that you are a source of frustration are often not reality. If you get turned away with an “I’m busy can we talk later?” or receive a short response, it doesn’t mean this is a sign to not try ever again. It’s merely the other person communicating and not an attack on you personally.
I understand it’s hard to face rejection socially for some people, but it becomes easier when you detach yourself from it: 
You’re not being rejected, the proposition of an interaction at that specific moment is being rejected. 
A boundary is being set. 
The person is expressing their unwillingness to move forward in a relationship. 
A subtle effort to reschedule the interaction is being made. 
People are not unlimited in their availability and attention so an unanswered message or approach is bound to happen. 
Just keep trying, and learn to face your fear. Your future self will thank you.
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tobe-sogolden · 2 years
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The fact that all this made up “on set drama” for DWD has made it to mainstream news sources is so frustrating to me. I had a feeling TMZ would pick it up and then PageSix wrote an article. This is literally fan fiction created by people (Larries/PR Harries) and submitted to DeuxMoi and it has spread like wildfire, which really shows how terrible her platform is.
I personally could care less if Florence doesn’t like Olivia or Harry but the main thing that leads me to be sure that it’s not even true is that Florence also hasn’t posted a thing for her other new movie, The Wonder, which also comes out this fall. She did a IG post when the movie wrapped (just like she did for DWD) but she had not said another word about that film at all AND it’s even premiering at TIFF like a week after DWD premieres at Venice. She’s made not one single IG story about it or shared any trailers or stills from it since it wrapped. And yet, it’s crickets from any haters about that - why is no one making up any stories that she hated that director or had a bad time during filming?!?
The truth is, promo for DWD will start soon. The whole cast will go to Venice and the other premiere on the 21st (probably in LA) and do promo interviews together. And every single person, including Florence, will act professionally and there won’t be any drama or tension or anything. Because they are all professionals and are paid to act accordingly during the promo. So we aren’t going to see any “drama” as much as people want to see it. Even IF Florence truly hates Olivia or Harry (because they started dating while filming??? Like….Florence met her BF while filming a movie - where he was her director - so I’m pretty sure she could care less, even if her BF is friends with Jason), she will not show any tension with them during promo, because that would affect her career in a hugely negative way. Olivia has posted so much support of her and seems to be hyping her way up for this movie, so if Florence acts like a brat during promo, the only person that is affected by that behavior is her and her reputation. She’s making lists saying she has a good chance of being nominated for an Oscar for DWD, so I highly doubt she’s going to let some made up “feud” potentially damage that by acting weird during promo or “shading” the movie.
Social media means nothing and it’s truly not a big deal that she didn’t post the second trailer - she posted the first one when it dropped and made tons of posts during filming. So the only thing we will see is all of them smiling and joking around with each other once this promo actually starts.
Agree it's frustrating, but I knew it'd happen at some point. And I don't follow Florence on social media so I have no idea how/what she usually posts, but I feel like social media engagement is such a weak way to determine someone's feelings about another person 😅 and if that thing about her other movie is true it's unsurprising that I haven't ever seen that pointed out bc it certainly doesn't fit their narrative that she posts enthusiastically about every single other project she's ever been involved in except dwd (and I keep seeing people say she hasn't posted a single thing for dwd but that's literally not true!?!?!?!! She posted the teaser, the first trailer, and I'm pretty sure the poster as well??? Correct me if I'm wrong though like I said I don't follow her but I feel like I remember people making a big deal of her not posting it and then she did). And AGREEEEEEEEEE. I think everyone will be professional and polite but trust and believe harries will suddenly become body language experts and point out how they can tell that Florence, Harry, and everyone else in the cast clearly hates being around Olivia and are only saying nice things bc she forced them 🙃
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koolfrogz · 3 years
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Misconceptions Regarding MCC14
Recently there have been a load of misconceptions regarding many of the controversies that happened this MCC, especially on Twitter and Tiktok, so I thought I would make a giant post detailing these and why they are wrong so I can scroll through my dash in peace.
1. Hbomb purposely abused a glitch in HITW that got Illumina and Mefs banned from MCC on the practice server. 
This one can easily be broken down into three components: 1. Misinformation about the glitch itself 2. Misinformation about the Mefs and Illumina incident 3. When does abusing a glitch count as cheating?
Firstly, the glitch Hbomb used is actually very common in HITW and has been around since the game was first introduced. The devs know about it and have not made any complaints about it because the usage of the glitch itself is heavily luck based (depending on the ping of the player) and does not guarantee a win to any player who does get it. Take for example PearlescentMoon who has used the glitch repeatedly throughout many competitions (i.e MCC 11), yet has not gained any significant advantage through it because, again, there is still an element of skill required to use it. This glitch is not only known by the devs, but has been used before in HITW. It is not something new that Hbomb exploited as a means of getting ahead.
Secondly, the Illumina and Mefs situation is not at all comparable to the Hbomb one. Illumina and Mefs were using a completely different glitch which did guarantee a win to the player because it allowed the player to afk on the platform and allow the blocks to pass through them. They were not banned for exploiting this glitch, but rather reprimanded by Scott and the devs for not reporting it to them sooner. Mefs and Illumina are still allowed in MCC and only didn’t compete this time because the teams had already been formed.
Finally, in regards to the idea of cheating itself when using such a glitch, the idea that what Hbomb did counts as cheating is absurd considering past MCCs and the various glitches which have been abused as well. I’ve seen a lot of people mention the infamous Wilbur Glitch and I think its a perfect example. The Wilbur Glitch is from the game Rocket Spleef which was not played this MCC but certainly will be in the future. The glitch involves the player becoming stuck in a block and seemingly floating in the air allowing them to basically secure a win without admin intervention. This glitch is much more OP than the glitch Hbomb used, and we have even seen admins purposefully try to kill players for using it (i.e Philza MCC11). However, even when players have purposefully attempted to get it (Wilbur, Phil, Quackity, etc.), I have never seen the fandom react so negatively as to accuse them of cheating. It is not fair to accuse Hbomb of cheating when he abuses a glitch which has been in the game for ages and not do the same with your favourite creators who do a much more busted glitch as well. Personally, I don’t consider either of these cheating, but that’s my opinion.
2. They removed Parkour Warrior because Dream was too good. That’s not fair.
Okay, this one is very simple as its just not true. This falls under the assumption that Dream was the only player to finish Parkour Warrior which is not true (PeteZahHutt completed the course twice and was the first to ever complete it in MCC 6). While the reason the Parkour Warrior map was destroyed in MCC 11 is said to be that EpicLandlord destroyed it because “he was annoyed at how good Dream was at it”, this is mainly a joke (think of the Ranboo being banned from MCC situation, while Ranboo isn’t in MCC there’s no actual beef and he’s not actually banned.) Secondly, if you weren’t around for Parkour Warrior when it was still in MCC, or have only ever seen Dream or Pete’s POV, you might not know, but Parkour Warrior was a miserable game mode (think Build Mart/Bingo but ten times worse because there was no chance to improve your placement other than just being good at Parkour). The game was 10 minutes of pure rage and frustration from competitors, which while entertaining at times, wasn’t the best for content when only two POVs in the entire competition were deemed watchable. This also wasn’t good for a competition because it meant that only two teams at most were progressing (and by a large amount) due to one player while the rest lagged behind. It gave the teams which had Pete and Dream a huge advantage and made the game unfun and unfair to everyone else, so they revamped the game (to Parkour Tag) to make it an even playing field where everyone had a chance to win (in the spirit of MCC). 
3. Scott had an unfair advantage in the competition and should be removed from the Dev Team or the Participants List.
This one is slightly more nuanced and may not have a definitive answer. Yes, Scott does have a slight advantage due to being a part of the dev team in every MCC. However, this MCC was definitely an outlier in that fact. Scott has been known to share info and tips with his teammates in past MCCs, but it has not truly impacted their performance on a significant level because the players knew a majority of the information anyways (the game rules, maps, etc). This MCC was unfair because Scott had a bigger advantage than originally assumed (it doesn’t mean he did it with malicious intent, it just means there was a severe oversight when designing the maps and explaining the rules to players). Also, the idea that Scott was guaranteed a win because he was part of the Dev Team is ridiculous and untrue. 
Scott has always been treated on the same level as any other player and has not been giving special privileges because he helped work on the tournament. Take for example MCC 8. Scott was teamed with Tommy, Philza, and Wilbur, and they were doing very well! Then came (wait for it), Ace Race. Scott experienced a glitch which allowed him to remain with his Elytra activated for half the course and allowed him to skip over multiple checkpoints and placed him in first. However, by skipping over these checkpoints the game corrected his placement and put him in last. This was seen as not fair at the time and the Red Rabbits did complain, to which Noxite responded that there was nothing they could do and Scott would just have to finish the round as normal. This glitch severely impacted the Red Rabbits standings and possibly led to them not being able to compete in Dodgebolt that MCC. Yet, Scott was never treated differently than any other player throughout the glitch despite being a part of the Dev Team.
For the next MCC, I certainly think that Scott should be allowed to play as normal. I truly believe this MCC was a fluke, and although I too felt a little salty seeing my favourite go from 2nd to 30th, I believe that it is not worth getting up in arms about it because at the end of the day there is a whole season of competitions where any team has a chance to win. 
4. They should have restarted the round and allowed the participants to retry the map.
While I too would have loved to see a rematch for Ace Rae, I would like to say that I, and probably many of the people playing, knew that it wasn’t going to happen. Noxcrew is very strict about the way MCC is run, it’s why I think it works so well. However, this means that they will not budge on these rules even in the face of something such as this competition’s Ace Race debacle. In the entire time of MCC, Noxcrew have only once ever restarted a round. This was in MCC 7 during Battle Box after there were server issues causing extreme lag for everyone (and Wilbur and Magistrex blew up their own teammates). It was unlikely that they were going to restart the round due to the mistake, and honestly, it might’ve caused more trouble than good to reset the points and the entire round of Ace Race. 
5. The Spirit of MCC
This last one is more of a general statement than a misconception, but I would like to say that I have seen a lot of newer fans confused and upset about this MCC’s outcome. However, I would like to remind everyone that at the end of the day MCC is a for-fun tournament which brings MCYTs of every background to compete and have fun. Yes, there is an element of competitiveness as it is a competition, but it goes against the very spirit of the competitions to be toxic and rude in spite of not winning or placing lower than you expected. At the end of the day, it is a MC tournament that has no monetary prize other than a golden coin. It is immature to slander, spread misinformation, or send death threats and harassment over such a tournament and I wish shame upon anyone who’s first reaction to not winning or their team not winning was to do such a thing. MCC is a brilliant tournament that has changed the game for how MC Competitions have been done, and it is disheartening to see the hard work Noxcrew and Scott have done be disrespected as such. I hope next MCC the fandom can come together and make this the lovely fandom event it once was. 
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emeraldiis · 3 years
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Falling for a God
A/N: Forgot to properly post/format this fic, so here ya go ya filthy animals (ok but i wrote it so I’m filthier)
AO3 Link
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 7.1k
Rating: Explicit (18+)
Summary: “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”You have a huge crush on Loki, there's lots of sexual tension, y'all fuck. That's the plot.
“Nat,” you whine. “I feel like you’re not even listening.” You prance to the front of her, spinning around to walk backwards.
Natasha rolls her eyes. “Wow, are you sure you aren’t pyschic?” She keeps up her brisk pace, and you nearly trip over yourself trying to keep up.
“That’s so rude!” You exclaim, but can’t hold back a giggle. Despite her cold demeanor, you know that Nat is just messing with you. Shooting a quick glance backwards, you decide that your path is clear, and return your gaze to your friend. “You’ll tell me if I’m about to run into something, right?”
With a wry grin, Natasha gives you a thumbs up. You beam at her. “Anyway,”  you continue. “I started watching this new TV show last night, and it is so, totally awesome. There’s this guy, and he has these badass powers, and he’s fighting this girl, and she has-”
Thump.
A small oof escapes from your mouth as your back collides with something solid. You pitch forward in surprise, and yelp as you try to stabilize yourself before you fall. Large, warm hands grab your waist, tightening around you to keep you from toppling over. You sigh in relief as your frantic heart slows to a normal rhythm. “Wow, thanks,” you say, and spin around to reveal the identity of your saviour.
Piercing blue eyes meet yours, and your breath catches in your throat. “Careful, pet,” Loki murmurs softly, a sly grin spreading across his lips. His hands slide off of your waist, making contact with the sliver of skin between your shorts and your top on the way. An involuntary shiver creeps up your spine, and you bite your lip.
The reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the ever-perceptive trickster, and his eyes flash with surprise. “Are my hands really that cold?” Loki teases. “Perhaps you could help me warm them up.” His tone is playful, but there’s something deeper underneath his banter that makes you think he’s actually flirting.
You can tell that your cheeks are red, and you choose not to respond to Loki’s question in fear of making an even bigger fool of yourself. A stammered apology tumbles from your lips, and you look back towards Natasha with a look of betrayal. She grins and shrugs. “I forgot to warn you. Oops.” Your mouth drops open. That scheming little devil. She knows about your crush on Loki, and she still allows you to make a fool out of yourself?
Your interactions with Loki were sparse, to say the least. Aside from a few casual conversations in a group, you had barely even talked to him. Still, he captivated you from the very first day he arrived at the compound. He was exactly your type; tall, dark, and brooding. Aside from Thor, most everyone gave Loki a wide berth, hesitant to forget the battle for New York. You, however, didn’t see a villain. You saw pain behind those blue eyes, and could empathize with Loki’s behavior. You knew all too well that it hurt to live in someone’s shadow, and sometimes acting out was a cry for help. Granted, Loki’s outbursts were far more drastic than yours had ever been, but it was more or less the same on a base level. And, the fact that he constantly had a witty remark on the tip of his tongue never ceased to entertain you. The man liked to hear himself talk, and damn, so did you.
It takes you a second to realize that you’ve been staring. You clear your throat awkwardly and look to the floor, eager to hide your discomfort. “Um, thank you for catching me,” you manage. When you look back up, Loki is wearing an odd expression. His pretty eyes are narrowed, searching your face. The scrutiny only embarasses you further. “Well, see you around!” WIth that, you dart around Loki and scurry off. Natasha follows you, snickering softly.
When you reach the common area, you plop yourself down on the couch and groan, throwing an arm over your face. Natasha sits down beside you. “Smooth,” she says, drawing out the word obnoxiously.
You remove your arm from over your eyes and give Natasha a withering look. “So not funny.”
Nat positively cackles at that. “Oh, come on,” she says. “He’d be an idiot to not at least have a thing for you, I mean, you’re smoking! ” She looks you up and down. “Nice rack, too.”
A giggle bursts from your lips. “Nat. Oh, my god. Stop objectifying me.”
Shaking her head, Natasha replies, “Me, objectify? I would never.”
That earns her an eye roll from you. “Sure. Anyway, can we please change the subject? I’m sick of talking about my embarrassing Loki crush.”
“What does ‘crush’ mean?”
You freeze. Now that was a distinct voice. “Thor,” you choke out. “When did you get here?”
Thor walks up behind the couch and swings himself over the back, making the poor piece of furniture creak in protest. He settles next to you, effectively sandwiching you between him and Natasha. “Just long enough to hear you discussing my brother. Now, will you please enlighten me on this strange Midgardian term?”
Before you can shut him down, Nat pipes up from the other end of the sofa. “It means she likes him. Romantically. Sexually. ”
The temptation to throw yourself onto the floor wailing is high. Instead, you opt to beg for your life. Still embarrassing, but slightly more productive than throwing a tantrum. “Nat!” You screech. You turn to Thor with pleading eyes. “Please, don’t say anything to him.”
Thor furrows his eyebrows. “What an odd expression. You’d think that the word “crush’ would be associated with something negative.” He places a big hand on your thigh. “If what Lady Natahsa says is true, then why would you not tell my brother? He is quite vain, you know. I’m sure he would be delighted to know that a beautiful woman is attracted to him!”
You groan and bury your face in your hands. These Asgardians will be the death of you. “It’s not that simple, Thor. What if he rejects me? I’d never be able to show my face around him again!”
There’s a pause, and then Thor asks you in a much gentler tone, “It seems as though you care for Loki a great deal more than you are letting on. Are you really afraid of embarrassment, or is it the heartbreak you fear?”
You’re glad that your hands are covering your face, because the way the color drains out of it at Thor’s question would have given you away. “No,” you mumble through your fingers. But he’s right, you do care for Loki more than you’d ever admit. His image ran through your head at night when you were trying to sleep, and his voice was what came to mind when your fingers were between your legs and you were pretending they were-
You rub at your eyes, then look up at Thor in desperation. “Please, if you really care about me as a friend, you’ll keep this secret.” You shoot a look at Natasha. “You, too. I may not be able to take Thor in a fight, but I could kick your ass.” You know you sound like a pathetic teenager, but you’re past the point of caring. You were perfectly happy admiring Loki from afar, and didn’t want to get your hopes up just to be met with shame.
Natasha scoffs. “As if.” Before she can continue. Thor holds up his hand.
“Lady Natasha, I believe we should stay out of this. I have done a great deal of meddling in my brother’s life, and I’ve learned that even the best intentions can cause disaster when Loki is involved.
“Thank you, Thor,” you say gratefully, relief evident in your voice. With a tired sigh, you hoist yourself up from the couch and turn to face your friends. “Well, I think I’ve had enough excitement for today. I’m going to hibernate, see you next spring.”
Natasha giggles and blows you a kiss goodbye while Thor scrunches up his face in confusion at your joke. Oh, well. Maybe he’d understand Midgardian humor one day.
*
Thunder rages outside your window while you toss and turn. You roll over to glance at your clock, and scowl when it flashes “3AM.” Giving up on the prospect of sleep, you opt for creeping to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Your bare feet pad down the carpet, and you shiver slightly at the cold air of the hall. Goosebumps rise on your bare legs and you start to regret your decision not to put on pants.
To get to the kitchen, you have to walk through the common area, and for a moment you linger just outside the entryway. There’s a soft glow coming from the corner of the room, and you mentally groan, hoping it’s one of the female inhabitants of the compound. You weren’t too excited at the idea of walking past one of the guys in just a sleep shirt and underwear. Still, your mission for food is not one you’re willing to give up on. Taking a deep breath, you step out of the hallway and into the room. And nearly pass out.
Across the room, perched in one of the loveseats, is Loki. He’s sitting with his legs curled underneath him, thumbing through a book. You consider darting back into the safety of the hall, but you’re too late. Loki has already noticed you, and is now staring far too intently for your liking. Suddenly feeling very exposed, you tug on the hem of your shirt, trying to pull it further down your legs. “Sorry to disturb you,” you whisper, afraid to break the deafening silence. Loki raises an eyebrow at you, then turns back to his book. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or disappointed when his gaze leaves you.
Not wanting to linger in the entryway any longer, you make your way across the room, keeping your eyes down. As you pass Loki, a loud clap of thunder booms outside, and already being on edge, you yelp. Startled from the deafening sound in an otherwise quiet room, you stagger, falling backwards onto the loveseat. Right next to Loki. The sofa is small, and in your splayed out position, you’re almost half on top of the god.
Loki flinches away, and you immediately begin to apologize. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I guess I just lost my footing. Did I hurt you?” As you talk, you push yourself off of Loki and cower into the other side of the loveseat. Some more rational part of your brain urges you to get up, give him some more space, but you don’t listen. As embarrassed as you are, you’re not quite ready to give up this closeness to the object of your affection.
With a huff, Loki straightens himself and gives you a cool look. “You did not hurt me, mortal. I was simply surprised.” Then, having composed himself, he smirks and sets his book on the end table beside him. “I suppose it is only natural to have weak knees in the presence of a god.”
The comment lightens the mood, and you find yourself relaxing next to him. “You’re right, Thor’s thunder does make me a tad unsteady.”
At that, Loki stiffens, obviously having not expected you to return his teasing. For a brief moment, you feel proud. Then, something changes in his expression, and he scoots closer to you. His hand finds your bare thigh, and the contact sends butterflies through your stomach. Loki senses your restlessness and gives you a predatory grin. “Is that so? Are you telling me that this,” he squeezes your thigh, and you gasp. “Doesn’t make you feel...faint?” His voice is low, and he almost purrs the last few words.
You fight hard to keep your breathing even, not wanting to give away just how flustered you are. The heavy weight of his hand feels heavenly, and you can feel your panties grow damp. God, you hope he can’t smell it.
This predatory tone is so much different than the playful teasing that you usually receive from Loki. You’ve never seen his blue eyes so dark, and the unfamiliarity of it all tightens your stomach.
Taking your silence as a challenge, Loki presses himself even closer to you. His fingers creep up your leg, closer to your underwear. “Tell me, does being touched by a god make you nervous? I can feel you quivering, are you afraid?” Loki pauses, then leans down until his lips are almost touching your ear. “Or is that arousal I sense?”
Fuck. A full body shiver skates across your skin, and despite your best efforts, a small moan breaks free from your throat. Loki’s hand feels like a brand on your thigh, sending waves of heat up your body. The warmth pools between your legs, and you can’t help but shift a bit. Knowing that your panties are the only barrier between your soaking heat and the sofa, you arch your hips ever so slightly to keep from soiling the cushion.
Of course, your small movements don’t go unnoticed. Loki’s eyes are hooded as they rake across your bare legs, and you can hear his breathing get a bit heavier. He looks up at you, pupils dilated. “Oh, pet, look at you. Barely even touched, and already-”
He’s cut off by the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall, headed in your direction. Loki curses softly and reluctantly draws his hand away, then moves as far away as the small sofa allows. Your skin aches at the loss of contact.
The interrupting stranger’s footsteps approach the entrance to the common room, then carry on past. You let out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, thankful that you wouldn’t have to explain anything. Something tells you that, while there’s nothing going on now, sitting with Loki in the middle of the night might raise a few eyebrows.
You and Loki are alone again, but the moment has passed. Whatever spell that had overcome the two of you is gone, and all that’s left is a quiet room and a dim light. “I apologize, I believe I have overstepped,” Loki says, and for the first time, he sounds...unsure. His voice has lost that arrogant confidence that it normally carries, and he sounds like a child that has just been caught stealing cookies from the jar.
You bite your lip and risk a glance at Loki. He’s still pressed against the opposite arm of the loveseat, and is avoiding your eyes. Without the atmosphere of desire from before, now you just feel...awkward. Sighing softly, you rise to your feet and make your way to the hallway. You pause briefly in the entryway, and breathe out a “goodnight, Loki.” You don’t wait for a response, instead turning and trudging back towards your room.
As you flop back down in bed, you replay the night’s events over in your mind. It almost feels like a dream, and you’re having trouble believing that Loki, the God of Mischief, had actually come on to you. It didn’t seem plausible. You’re just a plain mortal, nothing special, no powers. Sure, your combat skills could rival Natasha’s, but besides that, you can’t find anything about yourself that would attract a god.
Eventually, you decide that maybe Loki was just horny, and you were in the right place at the right time. You did walk out without pants on, after all. No matter the reasoning, you know not to expect a repeat occurrence, given how regretful he had seemed afterwards. Tears brim in your eyes as the reality of the situation hits you; Loki regrets touching you. It seems that your crush was one-sided, and even though you weren’t surprised, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
*
Things are tense around the compound. You creep around corners, terrified of accidentally finding yourself in the same room as Loki. And it seems that Loki is taking the same precautions, because you haven’t even seen a glimpse of him since that night. The ache in your heart from his rejection still keeps you up at night, and you still find yourself pining over him like a lovesick idiot.
Ever the observer, Natasha catches on quickly. “Are you really still embarrassed about bumping into Loki?” She asks after cornering you in the kitchen. “You’re not acting like yourself, and it is beyond obvious something is bothering you.”
You groan at her around a mouthful of a granola bar. “Are you really still thinking about it?” You counter.
Nat rolls her eyes. “Please, it’s hard to pretend it didn’t happen when you’re playing this stupid cat and mouse game. I see you check every room for him, I can’t believe you even care that much. He barely even touched you!”
A piece of your snack shoots down your throat with your gasp. You double over, wheezing and coughing. Natasha slaps a hand on your back, sighing. When you finally catch your breath, you glare at Nat. “Yeah, maybe that’s the issue.”
You immediately regret your words as a fire lights itself in Natasha’s eyes. “Want me to help?”
“Nat, hold on. No thanks-”
“Shush, trust me!” To your dismay, Natasha is already on her way out of the kitchen when she finishes hushing you. You whimper out a half-baked protest, but your friend is long gone by the time the words leave your mouth. Fuck, you’re so screwed.
LIfe  was very quickly becoming a stressful game of hide and seek. You’d resorted to spending most of the day in your room, hoping to avoid Loki, and more importantly, Natasha. You’re not sure what she has planned, but it can’t be anything good. As weeks pass by with no incident, however, you begin to drop your guard. Maybe she’s taking pity on you.
It’s around noon when you get the text. It’s an all caps message from Nat, pleading with you to at least hear her out before saying no.
That’s a terrifying text. I’m listening.
Nat: I may have bragged my way into a drinking contest with Thor, and I need a teammate to make it fair.
You want to try and outdrink Thor????
Nat: I want US to outdrink him. I convinced him that it’d be more balanced if it was 2 to 1.
You owe me.
Nat: :)
It was a terrible idea, but maybe a nice night of getting hammered is just what you need to break you out of your funk. Despite your initial reluctance, you find yourself getting excited. You hadn’t really relaxed in ages, this would be a good thing.
As the hours pass, you start to get nervous. It’s been so long since you’ve gotten properly drunk, and you seriously doubt you’ll be able to keep up with even Natasha. Still, a promise is a promise, and you have far too much pride to chicken out now.
The clock reaches nine o’clock, and you sigh. Showtime. Before leaving your suite, you set several glasses of water and a bottle of Advil on your nightstand. If you’re going to fuck over your future self, you might as well try to ease her pain. You take a deep breath and spare a glance over at the mirror against your bedroom wall. You had opted for something comfy, but cute; an emerald green dress that stopped just above your mid-thigh, and fell off of one shoulder effortlessly.
Okay, so maybe you had wanted to get a tiny bit dressed up. You’re sure Nat will tease you for it, but sometimes a girl just wants to feel pretty.
A bit breathless from those pre-competition nerves--yes, a drinking contest was that serious--you make your way to the kitchen. As you round the corner, you stop dead in your tracks. Sitting at the bar Tony had insisted on installing, is Nat and Thor, of course. But next to them, perched delicately on one of the stools, is Loki. He wears a look of disdain, as if this entire competition is beneath him. You hope he can’t tell how badly you want to be beneath him.
Natasha gives you a wicked grin as Thor waves you over, his smile far more innocent-looking than Nat’s, though you’re sure he had a part in this. Cursing your terrible friends under your breath, and yourself for falling for it, you trudge over. Naturally, the only stool left is the one on the end, directly next to Loki. You gingerly hoist yourself up and slide onto the seat.
You stubbornly keep your eyes on the counter, not daring to even glance up at Loki. It’s obvious from the way he’s angling himself away from you and towards his brother that he’s regretting that night, and doesn’t want to be near you. You don’t blame him, humans must seem like animals compared to gods. The reality is that you were a mistake to him, and you just needed to accept that and move past.
Breaking the awkward silence, Thor produces a jug of what looks like beer from god knows where. He grins and gestures to it grandly. As he opens his mouth to speak, you cut him off. “Hold up! I thought this was two against one? Loki being here makes it unfair.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at you. “Yeah, I may have bent the truth to get you to come out. It’s teams of two, but we have a handicap. Our drinks and shots count as twice the actual amount, and they’ll be drinking Asgardian mead. So,” She smirks. “No more complaints, let’s do this shit.”
You swallow nervously at the mention of shots. You could hold your liquor fairly well, but you and shots had...history. Nat knew how touchy you got when you were drunk, and how much of an oversharer you tended to be. Though you have to admit that her plan is almost flawless, you’re still unimpressed with her shenanigans. She’s pretty much set you up to embarrass yourself.
You twiddle your thumbs in your seat as Natasha grabs a bottle of Svedka from behind the bar and begins to pour the beginning drinks. Following her lead, Thor pops open his jug and splits it between two large glasses, then passes one to Loki, who sighs in apparent boredom. He shoots you an unreadable look, then grabs one of the shot glasses that Natasha filled and slides it your way.
With a mumbled “thanks,’ you gingerly take the glass, and look at Nat and Thor. Thor raises his glass. “May the better warriors win!” He announces, then tips back his glass. You roll your eyes at the word choice, but bring the shot glass to your lips and throw your head back. The liquor goes down rough, but you manage to keep your poker face and grit your teeth against any retches.
“The lady can drink!” Thor bellows, wiping at his face.
You shrug, wanting the spotlight off of you. “Um, I went to college?”
Before Thor can question you, Natasha cuts in. “Hello? I took it just as well, where’s my applause?”
“Natasha, you are not a lady,” Loki deadpans. Nat glares and pours herself another shot in response, throwing back the second one just as easily as she had the first. She then points at you. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles up. Despite everything, Loki was still Loki, and he still had your heart. It seems that the tension between you and Loki dissolves after you laugh at his quip, and he relaxes his stiff posture.
You sigh in relief and reach for the bottle to refill your own glass. This time, it goes down easier. That is, until the burns travels past your stomach, right down to between your legs. You squirm in place at the unexpected burst of arousal. Still, you should have been ready for it. Alcohol has always gotten you a little worked up. It was your mistake to believe you could fight it.
Despite the setback, you keep up with your teammate as the night goes on. Shot after shot, broken up by the easy conversation that emerges as the liquor continues to flow.
You’re not sure when the competition was forgotten, but you soon find yourself splayed on the couch next to Loki, laughing hysterically at some story he’s just finished telling about Thor in his youth. You look over at him, hazily trying to center your double vision to properly admire the god. His cheeks are flushed red from the alcohol, and he looks more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him.
Loki glances over, catching you staring, but you’re far too intoxicated to be embarrassed. Instead, you hold your gaze, waiting for a reaction. Loki smirks, then eyes his brother with annoyance.
“Brother,” he says, voice a lazy drawl. “I believe we’ve won this contest, wouldn’t you say?”
Thor cocks his head, then widens his eyes in understanding. “Oh, certainly! In fact, I think it would be necessary for me to walk you back to your quarters, Natasha.”
Natasha begins to protest, but it dies on her lips as her gaze flickers between you and Loki. “What a gentleman,” she purrs, only swaying slightly when she rises from her seat. “Lead the way.” Taking his outstretched hand, Natasha stumbles down the hall with Thor, giggling excitedly.
Now that it’s just the two of you, you expect things to get awkward, but find that you’re still just as comfortable. “Well, I guess I have to bow to the drinking champ,” you slur, sitting up to give a half hearted bow.
Loki throws his head back and laughs. “You,” he manages between snorts, “are far more fun to be around than most others on this planet.”
You scoff and wave your hand dismissively. “You’re only saying that ‘cause I bowed to you.” Chewing on your lip, you let your eyes drift back over to Loki. In your drunken haze, he just looks so...comfy. Before you realize what you’re doing, you slide over to lean up against him. Loki’s surprisingly warm, and you sigh contentedly, letting your mind wander back to how his hand felt running up your thigh.
The arousal from earlier that you had forgotten about rears its head, turning your sigh into a shaky exhale that is not at all subtle. The air feels thick, just like it had on that one stormy night, and you press yourself closer to Loki, unable to resist how good his body feels against yours.
Loki freezes for a moment, then seems to force himself to relax into you. His arm snakes around you until he’s holding you comfortably against his side. For one brief moment, you start to wonder if this is a good idea, given how things had ended in the past, but the intoxicated part of your brain tells the sober part to go fuck herself, and then you’re speaking without thinking. “Do you want to walk me to bed?”
Oh, shit. You can’t believe that just came out of your mouth. A wave of sobering panic hits you, and you untangle yourself from Loki and shoot up from the couch. Before you can flee, however, a pale hand grabs hold of your arm, stopping you in place.
Loki gets up, then moves his grip from your wrist to your hand. “I think that is a lovely idea. Allow me?” With the hand that isn’t holding yours, he gestures toward the hall. Well, that was unexpected. You try not to giggle in child-like excitement, and instead nod hurriedly.
Your heart speeds up at the feel of his hand in yours, and you start off down the hall, letting Loki pull you towards your suite. Caught up in trying to navigate the titling floor, you don’t notice that you’re being led the wrong way until the two of you come to a stop at a door that definitely does not belong to you. You look up at Loki in confusion. “This isn’t my room.”
“I know,” Loki growls, then opens the door and whirls you both inside. When you’ve recovered from the swift movement, you manage to pull away from Loki’s grip.
“What-what’s going on?” You say, attempting to sound stern. Loki stalks towards you. Instinctively, you back up, until you’re pressed against the wall with Loki boxing you in.
Loki presses his hands to the wall on either side of your head and sneers at you. “What’s going on?” He mocks. “I’ve craved your body under mine since long before our little nighttime meeting, and I have run out of patience for games.” He leans in and presses a kiss to your neck, grazing you with his teeth. Just like before, his playfulness has given way to a domineering aura, but you’re not complaining one bit.
You barely suppress a full body shiver. “But,” you protest weakly. “I, I thought you regretted it. I mean, you never said anything about it, so I figured...oh…” you trail off into a soft moan as Loki roughly licks up the side of your neck, growling.
“And when would I have gotten the chance?” Loki pulls away from his assault on your skin to look you in the eyes. “You have been avoiding me for nearly a month.” Those blue eyes are staring daggers at you, and you realize that there’s hurt behind all that frustration.
Your mouth goes dry. He’s right, but the eye contact from his smoldering stare is making you forget how to speak. Fumbling with your words, you cast your gaze downwards. “Yeah, I guess I have. But with what you said after we were interrupted....I thought you were uncomfortable with what happened.”
A dark chuckle spills from Loki’s lips. “The only discomfort you have caused me is the nights I have spent spilling over my own hand because I could not have you. ”
You gasp softly as Loki’s words send a wave of heat through your overheated body. Loki takes that as encouragement, and presses himself closer until his lips are grazing yours. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave,” he mumbles, eyes hooded.
Your response is to surge forward, hands flying to the back of his head as you roughly pull him in to kiss you. You both groan at the contact. The kiss is anything but gentle; your fingers are tangled in Loki’s hair, tugging harshly, and you can feel his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. It was far better than you could have imagined, and the dizzying pleasure of it all has you feeling drunker and more sober at the same time.
Before long, the room spins as Loki lifts you and hoists your legs around his waist. He kisses you breathless as he walks slowly down the hall towards what you can only assume is his bedroom. There’s a giddy part inside of you that squeals with excitement at being carried like that, but it’s quickly overshadowed by lust as you and Loki reach his bedroom. He tosses you onto his king sized bed like a doll, then kneels on the floor and yanks your ankles until your bottom is almost hanging off the bed.
Loki slides your dress up and nuzzles the inside of your thigh. “I could smell your arousal the entire night,” he says, nearly purring. “May I taste?”
You sit up on your elbows and stare down at him, face flushed with mild embarrassment at his face so close to your soaked panties. Dumbly, you nod, words failing you. Loki growls his appreciation and hikes up your dress, taking a brief moment to admire the soft fabric. “You look absolutely ravishing in green, I’ve wanted to tear this off of you since the moment I laid eyes on it.” And then he’s sliding your panties down your legs and plunging his tongue into your heat.
A ragged gasp tears its way from your throat and you throw your head back. You feel the grin form on Loki’s lips against your skin, and a fresh gush of arousal flows down your thighs. Loki eats pussy like it’s an art form he’s been perfecting for ages. His lips tug at your pussy, worshipping every fold like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have. You open your mouth to make some joke about his silvertongue, but all that comes out is a pathetic whimper as Loki drags his teeth lightly across your clit.
It isn’t long before the pleasure reaches its peak.You fight hard to keep your legs from clamping around Loki’s head, but you can’t help it when you crest over the edge of orgasm. Your muscles lock up, your back arches, and you scream. White hot euphoria explodes from your core, spreading through your body like venom. Loki’s tongue works you through it, slowing to wide, long strokes as you begin to come down.
You’ve barely recovered when Loki rises from his knees and crawls up your body, coming to a stop when his face is inches from yours. His eyes are hooded, and his glistening lips are parted to allow frantic, heated pants to escape. “Pet,” he hisses, leaning down to nuzzle into your shoulder. “You taste sweeter than the fruits of Asgard.” He bites at your collarbone, making you shudder in your post-orgasmic haze.
Still out of it, you sluggishly fumble at Loki’s belt. “Wanna make you feel good, too,” you mumble and lick your lips. Loki bats your hand away, shushing you.
“Darling, there will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, I need to feel you.” He grabs your shoulders and drags you up to the pillows, so that you’re lying comfortably on your back with him hovering above you.
Your heart skips a beat at the mention of ‘later.’ So this wasn’t just a one-night stand? You don’t have time to process that, however, as Loki barely gives you a moment to breathe. He sits back on his knees, straddling your waist, and with a wave of his hand, you’re both stark naked. Your hands twitch, wanting to cover yourself. Being naked in front of an attractive man has always intimidated you, but the fact that Loki was a god made it worse. As if sensing your sudden shyness, Loki leans in to kiss at lick at your breasts, and brings his hands up to pin your wrists to the bed. You sigh in pleasure, insecurity fading with every hot swipe of his tongue, not even wanting to struggle against his hold.
Loki lowers himself to grind against you. His hard cock slides against your dripping folds as his narrow hips press into yours. Both of you shiver, and you arch your hips to bring him closer. Loki growls against your skin and sits up. He lets go of your wrists, roughly grabs your waist and angles it to meet his. “Ready, pet? I can’t wait, I need to have you.” he breathes, eyes locked on yours.
Like a deer in the headlights, you’re frozen, anticipation coiling tightly under your skin. Slowly, you nod. Loki wastes no time. He smirks, then slides himself into you, the stretch burning in the loveliest way. Your heated groan mingles with his, and when Loki’s hips come to rest against yours, he falls against your chest, panting. You appreciate the time he gives you to adjust; Loki’s cock is thick, and longer than anything you’ve ever taken, and you can feel it throbbing desperately within you. Now that he’s released your hands, you bring them up to thread through his soft, black hair. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, nearly purring.
“Tell me when, love,” Loki grits out, fighting to keep his voice steady. The shakiness in his usually smooth tone is arousing to no end, and you can feel yourself clench around him in approval. Loki’s hips twitch at the fluttering of your walls, and though you’re more than ready, you decide to torture him a bit longer.
You bring your legs up to wrap around Loki’s  waist, pulling him closer. He shivers, but keeps his composure, remaining almost statue still. His concern for your comfort makes your heart swell, but you want to see him lose control. “You’re so big,” you whimper out, the alcohol in your system quelling the embarrassment you’d usually feel when talking dirty. You press your face into Loki’s neck, grazing your teeth along the pale skin there.
With a deep growl of barely kept composure, Loki rises up to rest on his elbows, desperate eyes searching yours. It seems that being the God of Lies gave Loki the ability to see through your cruel game, and his expression turns dark, though the neediness is still blatant. You shift nervously as he stares you down, already regretting your mischievousness. “Feeling playful, are we?” Loki asks.
Your mouth goes dry at being caught and your core tightens around him again, earning you a flutter of his eyelids. “I…” you trail off, eyes drifting to Loki’s parted lips. Watching you gaze, Loki grins at you.
“Oh, pet. I think you may be confused. You are mine to toy with, not the other way around.” With that, Loki leans down to crush his lips into yours. His tongue forces its way into your mouth and you whine around it. While his tongue’s distracting you, Loki takes his chance to begin pounding into you at a ruthless pace, and you break away from the kiss to throw your head back and shriek out a moan.
You feel utterly wrecked, stomach clenching and nerves alight with pleasure as Loki continues his assault on your body. Your eyes are squeezed shut, so his teeth nipping at your jaw come as a surprise, sending a whole new shockwave of sensation down your neck.
“You feel so fucking good, pet,” Loki moans, his voice quickly losing its characteristic steadyness. He sighs out something that sounds suspiciously like a whimper, and brings one of his hands down to toy with your clit. Your legs tighten around him involuntarily. “A-ah, fuck,” Loki grits out, increasing his pace.
The pleasure is overwhelming, and the unhuman speed at which Loki’s pounding into you leaves you no time to catch your breath. Moans and whines erupt from your mouth in a constant stream, and Loki keeps his mouth hovering above yours to drink them in. “I wanna cum,” you whimper as Loki’s assault on your senses continues.
“Then cum, pet,” Loki groans, hips stuttering. “ Cum for your god.”
You keen, writhing and chasing your high. As you climb up to your orgasm, you are met with a startling realization that Loki has already ruined you for anyone else. No human man could match the fire that he’s set upon your nerves, the blinding pleasure that mounts with every thrust and kiss. With that settling into your mind, you finally reach your second peak of the night.
Your eyes try to flutter shut, tears brimming at the corners as you wail Loki’s name again and again. Through the haze of your climax, you notice Loki’s muscles begin to tense as he nears his orgasm as well, and you force your eyes to stay open in order to watch him come apart.
Watching Loki cum is almost like a second climax. He speeds up impossibly, mouth hanging open and eyes barely able to stay focused on you. “You’re mine,” he growls out. Choked moans fall from his lips as he nears the edge, and you rake your nails down his back to encourage him.
“Cum in me, please, I need it, make me yours” you ramble breathlessly.
“Oh, fuck, I-I’m so close,” Loki manages, voice breaking. You continue to coo pleas and encouragements at him, and the way his eyes roll back at your wrecked voice gives you an intoxicating rush of pride. Finally, with a whimpering moan, Loki stills, cock pulsing within you and hips twitching as he pumps you full of his cum.
Loki slumps against you, still moving in aborted little thrusts, as if he can’t quite stop fucking you just yet. The weight of him on top of you is heavy, but not unwelcome, and you take the time to bask in the euphoria of having just slept with the god you’d pined after for so long.
“That was…” you start, words failing you.
“Divine,” Loki finishes for you. He slides his cock out of your pussy, and with it comes a gush of warm cum that you’re sure will stain the sheets. He rolls off of you, then guides you onto your side so that he can pull you up against him.
You weren’t expecting Loki to be the ‘cuddling after sex,’ type, so having him spoon you was surprising, to say the least. He nuzzles his nose into your hair, and you find yourself wanting to fall asleep like that; comfortable in his bed and safe in his strong arms.
Still, there’s a nagging question that won’t let you fully relax. Not wanting to expect too much, you brace yourself for the worst and open your mouth to speak. “Loki...what does this mean for us?”
Loki tenses behind you, and your heart breaks at the assumed rejection as he begins to pull away. “Are you...are you not mine? I thought this was-I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. Forgive me.”
This time, your heart breaks for a different reason. Loki sounds so hurt, so unsure of everything, and you can hear a scared little boy behind that velvet voice. “No!” You nearly shout, turning around to pull him back to you. “I want to be yours, I promise,” you say as you tug Loki back into your arms, running a soothing hand down his back. “I just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted.”
The relief in Loki is visible as he relaxes into you. “Love, I am yours as much as you are mine, do not doubt that.”
The pet name brings a smile to your lips. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you reply happily. Heart full, you roll back over so that Loki can snuggle into you again, and finally let your drowsiness overtake you. You catch a faint, ‘I love you,’ just before you drift off to sleep, and though it could just be your mind playing tricks on you, you know that you love him, too.
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The Odd Rumble of Thunder - Thor x Reader
(A/N)
Hey guys! I wanted to personally thank you all for the kind comments and messages, they really inspire me to continue writing more and the support truly means a lot! Also, I just found out how to access post replies, I apologize I haven’t gotten to reading them since my first story, I’m still trying to figure out the gist of things here on Tumblr! Anyways, recently I’d only been posting more on Poseidon, so here’s a special one for our Norse god of thunder (aka the god I simp for the most). This idea came to me while out on a camping trip, I hope you guys enjoy it! Feedback would really be welcomed and appreciated!
This is for entertainment only. Record of Ragnarok belongs to Shinya Umemura, Takumi Fukui and Ajichika. I also do not own you, the reader.
The Odd Rumble of Thunder
Thor x Reader
Even before the news spread like wildfire, Thor had become under the tyranny of a good habit to bringing his wife with him wherever he may go. It stood to reason that he would never be so careless to invite you over to danger, hence why, at a god’s ephemeral notice, he had stopped seeking direction for his combative side, but when, at last, he had to venture, he made much quicker work of it than when he would have otherwise.
Inarguably, if you’d wanted to lay down and rest instead, it was a surety you’d receive your meals in bed, unbothered. But for Thor there was no guarantee he’d ever have to worry about you, so the whole of Asgard knew by now he’d drop whatever he was doing to accompany you, uncaring about diplomacy in the first place.
Not that Odin nor Loki minded either; especially since the Allfather knew more about the concerns of a father expecting their first child. Moreover, Loki enjoyed shapeshifting into his cousin during days he was absent. It was much more fun to cause mischief legally, as he would say.
Today, Thor stood by his wife who sat comfortably in her rocking chair on the porch, allowing a full view of the hills that sloped gently down to the grand gardens. You were seven months along, approaching the eight month, the swell of your stomach now far more prominent.
At the very moment you had begun to show, you had a companion of whom would almost never leave your side, your husband’s absence in the kingdom gradually becoming more frequent, more lengthened, till at last his presence among his people became an exception. Despite your constant reassurances that you would be fine, Thor insisted on staying, casually sweeping aside your thoughts regarding his habitual sense of duty.
“I would only be gone for nine months to tend to my wife and child, they should fare well on their own lest they are more incompetent than I would’ve thought.” Thor had told you once before, and you’d decided not to question him further on that. You understood your husband’s concerns, to be truthful, you had a few of your own as well, so having Thor assist you alleviated some of the stress and worry concerning your child’s safety.
Especially now that you were nearing your due date. For instance, you were having the toughest time moving, suffering primarily from the weight in your belly and pains in your back and legs that made walking and even standing difficult. What made the physical strain worse too was your child’s eagerness to know you and Thor both, unable to stay long in one position, much like their father’s enthusiasm for battle.
“How are you feeling?” Thor’s question rested upon a rather precise calculation of the last time he had asked the same only a short moment before. It was quite visible in his actions that he did not want to cause any negative feelings if he could help it, though desiring you to avoid stress as much as possible.
You smiled. “Come close. You’ve been standing there for ages just ogling at me.” You opened your arms out wide. “Are you not tired?”
Truth be told, despite Thor’s constant need to remain close to his wife, he felt a real, undeniable fear of touching you, specifically, your abdomen. He closed the distance between until he was right in front of you, staring down at you with hard eyes. Longing leaped like a flame reaching out in his celestial yellow orbs.
“Love, I am always grateful for your concern for me. And I am feeling much better just knowing you’re beside me.” You raised yourself up, pushing against the chair to try to stand. Thor rushed forward, held you then put his hands under your arms to lift you up. Your child was growing fast. “But how about you? How are you feeling?”
You inched closer, your fingers playing with the locks of his hair that you could reach. “Aside from the stress of waiting, I’ve noticed that you have something else weighing on your mind.
“Tell me, what is it?”
At the sight of you through his warworn eyes, his mind was filled with bliss. For that loving glance of yours, he felt a divine presence and holy atmosphere that seemed to pervade everything around you. Having an inkling of what you were hinting at though, he broke your gaze, in an attempt to avert the guilt you conferred on him.
“Please. We’re in this together, I would want nothing more than to help you back as much as you’ve helped me.” Thor felt you shift in his arms, get more comfortable. He felt the bulk of your child across his legs, the weight no doubt pulling you down. Seeing you in pain like that, was sad and unbearable, and the gnawing feeling grew stronger. And since he knew you were always so full of strength and determination, always unrelenting in your attempts to make him feel better, he began,
“I am afraid.” Red eyebrows drew together.
“Afraid of what?”
“That I might accidentally hurt you and our child,” Thor took a deep breath in then let it out in a sigh while taking a step back. “I do not want that to happen, even if I want to be at your side at all times. And this frustrates me to no end.”
Thor did himself a favor by giving attention to anything other than his wife, refusing to be a witness on the sadness and any he may have caused. Dealing with his own disappointment was nothing new, but he had trouble dealing with the fact that he was the cause of yourpain. He wished he could take his troubles which escaped, hanging in the air, and all the bad feelings on himself and let things continue as they were, but he knew it didn’t work that way. You needed to know that he only wanted you and your child safe and protected, even from himself.
He could not understand how the cosmos could play such a cruel joke on the both of you: you, bore so much pain because of one of the greatest affairs of life, and him, the strongest deity in the Pantheon, was powerless against the natural laws of existence.
Strong shoulders slumped, head bowing as stray strands of red hair fell over Thor’s brow. Not again. He did not wish to be reminded of the cautious sympathy his father and cousin had approached him with. His stomach lurched whenever the subject of your frailty came up. Dread and a terrifying fear overwhelmed his soul for the first time, the thought of losing you−
“Hey,” Your voice which lingered on the gentle breeze brushed against Thor’s face, pulling him out of his stupor. He refocused, turning his gaze onto your sweet face.
How were you able to hold yourself up well despite your obvious pain and suffering? Did you not bear the same nervousness as he did? The answer was obvious, practically screaming in Thor’s ears but became deaf following his guilt and clouded instincts. For a long time since you’d first told him about the news, he bore these worries in silence; but when at length he’d been perplexed by your introspection−or seeming lack of it. Why, in fact, did you concern yourself with him at all? Compared to you, there was hardly any threat to his own life posed. Why had you always done more to make him feel better when you were the one who needed it most?
Cutting through the haze he found himself in was the shape of you, or maybe your hair billowing in the wind, a wisp of it across your face, and then suddenly the feel of your skin, the sense of your head on his chest. Even if it were fleeting, that alone brought him the possibilities of comfort that he’d so needed. Oh, how he missed this; you cupped his big callously marble hands around yours, caressing them so tenderly, as if he were fragile and might break, so short it could never be pulled back.
As he relished the warmth of the blaze you gave him for the winter of unease, he’d realized much sooner that the coldness that inched its icy fingers up his spine still threatened to battle your kind words, you, his very own wife, and he detested himself for being unsure whether or not it was of his own doing; was he pushing you away when you’d only wanted to offer your help?
Thor’s immediate impulse was to pull back from you, abruptly halted by your fingers which slipped between his now splayed hand. You wrinkled your nose in a delightfully unguarded manner that caused his breath to hitch in his throat.
“Do you remember the first time we said our vows?” If only you knew the way Thor perceived you: in his eyes, your radiant smile reflected the morning sunlight of Valhalla, for a split second picturing the moment you’d walked down the aisle, that headpiece on your head instantiating the paradox of mystery that once lifted revealed your beautiful face, marking it the best day of his long life. Something warm bloomed in his chest once again and spread its heat out through every vein in his body. He remembered the smooth feel of the veil against his cheek after sealing your promise with a kiss, his lips parting with a breathless sigh.
“Your hands caressed my fit of nerves with light, tender touches and then inspired me with hard, passionate embraces,” With effortless ease, you lifted your intertwined hands to your mouth and kissed his knuckle. Thor watched with great admiration your every move, the desire to distance himself was now but an afterthought. Nothing would ever separate him from you when all you’d ever done was pull him closer than ever.
Then, you sought out his hand, kissing his palm as he stroked your face. You clung onto his arms, gripped at his chest as if you were searching for warmth, as if you needed his touch, and much like him, couldn’t bear to be even an inch away. His mind was still slowing its racing to let him mutter something in response, so he allowed himself to be entranced by how smooth and sure of yourself you were, with nothing to mar the calm serenity of your features. Your smile seemed to be a natural adornment, the utter gentleness in your eyes, reminded him of every morning when he woke up, he would see you by his side, as well as your sleeping snoring face. Right at that moment, the silly scream finally made it to the deaf god’s ears:
He was your haven,
The place you called home and went to find peace.
As Thor immersed himself in your smell, your sparkling eyes, he felt the excruciating cold all melt away in your warmth. No more seeds of doubt with which to sow and seek his destiny. Slowly, he began to see his surroundings from a keener point of view, realizing, then appraising them: from the passing wind your hair messed which he pushed aside, tucking it behind your ear, to how his sash seemed to fit him better indeed, rather than cling onto his skin even tighter as brutally as it had done before. He noticed the minute changes since he’d last taken a good look at you months ago: a little flusher on your skin, lines around the eyes a little deeper, a little increase in body temperature.
He pulled you closer, his actions not arising from calculation instead led by instinct. You let him take more of your weight, your belly pressed against his stomach as you sighed, his fingers working wonders on massaging the muscles that had been much abused in carrying the baby’s weight. A sudden wrenching through his sash struck Thor’s heart and had him holding his breath.
The baby had moved, and he’d felt it.
Bending down, he buried his nose in your hair, closing his eyes as he drank in your scent. Your arms wrapped around his back as he connected in this loving embrace, feeling his heart beat in rhythm with your own.
“Our child would no doubt love to be enveloped in their father’s safe arms,” With a light, gentle touch, your fingers ran through Thor’s hair, making him shiver with delight.
On that day, only the beautiful gardens of Asgard became privy to nothing more than a moment in which husband and wife reached for the same comfort and their concerns met. These gardens were simultaneously the very same place where Thor had first avoided the problems that plagued his mind, but also became exactly the same place where he’d find solace in the arms of his lovely wife.
Resting his hand on where his child was, he recognized that familiar feeling turning up, but upon realizing the bittersweet irony of and within these gardens, the revelation came to him: happiness could also come from the very object of fear.
And as you had an unmovable trust in him, there was an unspoken mutual understanding that he too, should put his trust in you.
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jjheejz · 3 years
Text
About Internet Water Army in the case
This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).
19 August 2021 update: Added the scale of his success for reference, before bonus below
18 August 2021 update: Added timeline of events, orange title in post, found out the official English term for Immoral Media = Internet Water Army)
Major updates since first draft: Added bonus, added disclaimer, certain info details
Originally posted on 16 August 2021
[The purpose of this post is to provide a perspective as to why the Media is raised/blamed regarding the issue. Especially for international fans, as all the encounters happened on Weibo. Also, those who were on weibo, do read through if you will. So although it's lengthy, do try to read all, at least if not the last two parts].
The Media referred by most, is not the common perception of the Entertainment Industry (celebrities, directors, shows, channels, staff etc), but the dark side of the Entertainment industry: Antis, toxic fans, toxic marketing accounts. They are called Internet Water Army💧.
Toxic Marketing Accounts is one of the things they do, these accounts on Weibo has millions of followers, each of their post likes are in the hundred thousands (buyable) to give credibility to passer-bys. Some use similar names to Official accounts, some use similar logos. Their posts are usually subjective or aims to steer view points of a certain celebrity/movie/show. Before the latest update of this post (18.08.21), I just group them all together and term them as Immoral Media*.
*Below is my original post using my original term because at point of first draft, I did not know the official term (so have changed/added the term from Immoral Media to Internet Water Army in content below but retain the content based off first draft).
If you have chased before celebrities, or just simply passed by an article about certain celebrities, recall how some title that caught your attentions were like. Clickbaits is one of the many things they do. If GZ is your first and you do not have Weibo, then this read(link) is good enough.
Just as the term Immoral Media (Internet Water Army), it’s immoral and unethical, but they exists because they are paid to do so. Who pays them? Entertainment Companies, and maybe other Organisations
Normal Media/Marketing vs Immoral Media/Toxic Marketing/Internet Water Army
When a show or movie comes out, the normal Marketing department will generate outreach and buzz so that people know a show is airing soon/know the show exists etc. Official announcements are not enough, because there isn’t much context (limited content to put up as well) so having some other Marketing accounts do the buzz in a planned period to gain awareness through posts, some articles about the casts, the plot summary, the production details etc is normal. This is Marketing, bigger companies will probably have stronger Marketing departments (aka influence) and can hire more Marketing accounts to generate buzz. Celebrities (aka casts) themselves, are also Marketing point.
Then we have the Internet Water Army/Immoral Media, these are what they mainly do:
Create Fanfiction-rumors: Creating rumors about celebrities to shift audience perception of them. [eg. XX was seen with XX leaving a hotel, XX was drunk on Event Y and did ZZZ to AA, XX is dating BB and has been in a relationship for N years etc]
Honing their brain degrading skills: Come up with titled clickbait headings/ trending topics with negative written contents. For articles, exceptionally out of heading content related to the celebrity. [Refer to Baidu, it’s a winner of these, feel free to Google Translate]
Regressing their common sense and understanding skills: Take everything a celebrity does completely out of context in a negative way and create a topic out of it [eg. XX said AA is a ---, “XX raised his finger, a sign of ---?”, XX pushed BB aggressively on Variety Show Y - A competition variety show, XX is in beef with CC because XX was caught giving CC the eye]
Using their fingers to stir shit and bathe each other in it: Escalate all smallest form of possible tension created by fans/themselves into a huge thing by acting as the fandom's fans/lurk in fandom chat groups, and voicing their disguised opinion to spread tension/exaggerate severity of the issue [eg. XX fans mocked AA - in groupchats: tbh I've never liked AA before, AA just gives off a vibe that I dont like and now this? It just disgusts me even more > Yea, i feel this way too. AA has problems / XX Lurkers expressing views on XX about NN, slowly to NNMHFXW - XX did NNMHGT - I cannot accept NNmHfHw, I'm leaving = multiply by 1000++]
Epitome of a self-deteriorate: Creating something out of nothing and react to that something negatively to gain massive attention/reaction [eg. “XX raised his hand on show Y” - dk what XX fans are thinking, are they literally blind? XX fans are tasteless just like XX hahaha / “XX did community service” - they are acting / “XX breathed” - From the start, i thought XX was NN, but I am so ZZZ that XX breathed. Goodbye fandom, i’m leaving. Those who still want to stay I urge you to rethink your life choices] - if I may add, Xiao Zhan’s fanfiction case as well. 
Metaphor - Ability to use bare hands to collect paychecks from the urinal/toilet bowl where their boss/client peed in: Doing all of the above.
Apologies for any term offense, but not apologetic of the term context. This is what they do for a living. Any normal human being who do not like anything, will generally not be interested at anything about it in the first place, so to have some antis/toxic fans knowing certain things and inside jokes/references in their posts questions their goal.
On involved in Internet Water Army/Immoral Media 💧
Fans on weibo during these few months witnessed many of the above on GZ. From rumored girlfriend (spammed with articles) to mean and nasty comments on trending topics, to bouts of insults and fake emotional cryouts by certain fan accounts that GZ's office has to release a number of Lawyer’s letter to them. 
Aside from WOH there were also a few other BL adaptation films that were actually released this year but they did not reach exponential success like WOH. BL adaptations are so highly followed by because this is the key to wealth. Literally. Successful BLs like The Untamed and  Dao Mu Bi Ji saw the amount of wealth fans are willing to spend on the celebrity as compared to say BG or idols (younger fan groups). This is why when WOH shot up exponentially, Immoral Media start to sweat.
Major anticipated adaptations were supposed to air this year eg. Hao Yi Xing(HYX), Sha Po Lang(SPL) etc but was severely held back due to the stricter change in BL adaptations submitting their scripts for approval regulations (WOH manage to submit earlier before the change). Because of this, most final films were rejected and they have to keep re-editing, by then WOH was already months into reaping tonnes of major brand endorsements, shows/movie casting, variety show appearances etc, something that is seen as too successful in the Immoral Media’s eyes, because they have to create buzz for other celebrities, some are specific celebrity oriented and thus circulate rumors about having endorsement opportunities shifted from celebrity X to GZ (think fanfiction-rumors and shit stirrer) causes tension in celebrity fandoms. - A real event just in July:
The Untamed’s cp fandom is called BJYX which had always been in the Top 1 of Cps for 2 years dropped for awhile to Top 2, over taken by LLD. Both of them had a war and hated each fandom, one fandom is somehow not allowed to like the other fandom even casually after everything broke out because it started out with some BJYX toxics photoshopped GZ on of portraits .
Also another case of which he wore the same costume as WYB did in a previous photoshoot and it became a useless comparison of who wore better, who looks better, degrading the other. (Finger stirring shit).
Now apply all of the above things the Internet Water Army do and we have them earning money, while both fandom reacts and hate each other.
In LLD, our own fans started suspecting each other on who is a spy from BJYX and what not.
The first few months of Internet Water Army saw LLDs mostly mocking them because the average age is 30-40s, they know and see through all of their intentions so nothing was big. They were trumpeting and LLDs didn’t even care, what with all the doing tedious stats was not even important to them.
Over time, as the issues they create became more and more serious LLDs did start to care, reporting Toxic Marketing accounts/toxic fans became a daily task, go vote for GZ at certain polls etc, solo fans, and LLD fans also split apart. Solo fans think cp fans use GZ to furnish their fantasies, and cp fans thinks they are the ones furnishing their dreaming-girls fantasy with (aka my boyfriend).
There was also a period where LLD had a habit of continuously mentioning “we are in the 30-40s so we can see through everything about the media, we are all fans for the first time, we are good at spending money (because of purchase power compared to other fandoms)” it was prevalent for so long it felt odd, ‘chasing celebrities the first time’ in particular sounds more vulnerable as a weakness than a strength / sth to be proud of.
Gradually, more secretive/insider confirmed ‘sweets’ were flying around. Fans advised each other to not circulate, and the mindset of “if you know, you know, dont tell.” (This is a problematic mentality, of which fans will still be curious to know and search for it themselves, but this secretive hook is unhealthy. Over the long term, it becomes hard for existing fans to know a lot of things properly to judge for themselves, especially those who knew and publicly reacted, but blasting those who ask and telling those who know to keep quiet, this did not help some to understand why on certain things, even so for international fans, dont know and dont understand, causing misunderstandings. Yes, certain information should not be shared, so why should you react about it publicly in the first place? - Internet Water Army effect)
The last few months (for example the July fan war) created a tonne of seriousness and anger. A period even broke out with a tonne of ‘insider confirmed sweets’ (which is LLD’s daily dose of happiness), it was hard to tell what was real and what was fake. Trending topics became negative and everyone warned each other not to enter because it will give the trends ‘views’ and trend statistics, in reality entering there is to enter an exhibition by the self-deteriorates, collecting the fandom's traffic data (it's a sure lose for fans each time they enter the topic). Everyone even starts thinking that the trend’s popularity was caused by each other (it's true but it can be bought daily and not caused by fans). There was a raise in the number of fans who were getting emotional because they want to protect but Internet Water Army kept coming and got worse, because fans, tbh, not just GZ fans, every other celebrity’s fans are always fighting with an Army, getting played and plotted in that Army's calendar.
Even so, despite all of these, LLD is actually a fandom Internet Water Army may find the hardest to break because they understand GZ so much, they could tell what are fake news regarding GZ, because among everything above, there are still plenty of logical fans to stop many fans from drifting too far and debunking them. Why? 30-40s are grown up adults.
Why 13.8.21 and the Japan issue is plotted?
First of all, in the political climate of China, there are many political dates in a month that is NO-Entertainment news. Because it’s the honoring of certain important political events. It’s like Remembrance Day, thus the sensitivity is higher. On these days, there are usually no news and even the Internet Water Army zip their pants. This year also marks the 100th year of the Chinese Communist Party(link)
Secondly, he had no work schedule on 13 August 2021. A great full day to focus on any other news (because if he had schedules, everyone will turn their attention to his events, what trumpeting outside is just bird chirps). 
Thirdly, when the news broke out, especially about the shrine, the reception was actually quite serious within the fandom so the scale of this might be big but to what extent in reality?
Lastly, 15.8.21 marks the 76th anniversary of the announcement of surrender of Japanese in World War 2(link). Also a day of NO-Entertainment news. 
Timeline of events:
13.8.21 - [His rest day, Eve of Chinese Valentine's Day, Japan News broke out] His rest day, no schedules = increased attention about him online. Lowered guard among fans because they are getting ready for tomorrow's Chinese Valentine's sweets = Caught off guard = Huge break out of fans' reactions
14.8.21 - [Chinese Valentine's Day, Eve of the 75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender] Keep a wishful and happy demenaor to not destroy the mood, suppressed thoughts about ZZH's Japan news
15.8.21 - [75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender, Official announcement of ZZH's boycott and all China social media account ban] NO-Entertainment news day, Solemn day, not allowed to voice anything so the fandom can only wait for tomorrow to start voicing out/debunking but before they can wait out, the boycott and social media ban happened, every official accounts about him was gone overnight, fans had no time to react
17.8.21 - [All official fandom accounts related to ZZH and JunZhe were locked/removed]
Forced to be silent since the day his matter broke out, over the course of official news release with everything taken down in a day because of the Japan correspondence, his accounts banned overnight across the Chinese media and the overnight cancellation, fans could not speak anything about it. Overnight cancellation like this scale happened for the first time in China, leaving no time to react by the fandom, by the time they can, they are silenced.
When the period of events occured within a set of special dates, it’s not coincidence.
Conclusion
Because he was too successful and had many actually honorable past things, and a hard to influence fandom, Internet Water Army view him as a huge threat enough to want to destroy him, because it’s hard to defeat. With a chance they have, they will hold it till the end, bringing up this issue to the Government during this period also shows a sign of how scared they were of him and perhaps his fandom to plot something like this.
Updated on 19 August: Here's a screenshot of assumed calculation on the scale of GZ success for reference while chatting with a fellow fan, assuming GJ also has 27 brands, and there are 1000 brands. Rationale of numbers used: Only big brands can hire big celebrities.
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Bonus
Mentioned in the first post, will mention again in case. After the news broke out within 2 days, there was a drop on his weibo followers from 18.9mil to 18.7mil. 200k+ drops, if the politics was such a big national issue, there should at least be a huge drop, even at least a million right? Because weibo is a China-Chinese majority right? Nope, we get a puny 200k drop.
What's funny? The self-deteroriates:
Translation: "Are his fans bought? Why didnt he drop fans? Those people got brainwashed to this point?" / "I've never entered his weibo and today i feel like having a look yet it showed I've followed him. All his fans were bought right? It disgusts me, i immediately unfollowed. This kind of process is worse than WYF..." / "i dropped fans because of him...no...I just reposted 2 posts and I've dropped 4 fans?"
Isn't the tone and regressing brain cells, all too familiar and same?
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//
Added above, will remind again to read this link. It has an even more in-depth knowledge on who are paying them.
So what should we do? Link here
Related posts 🛏️:
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hualian-blessing · 3 years
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why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc
if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!
remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.
as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.
now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.
heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:
1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”
heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 
take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.
2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”
sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 
also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.
3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”
utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.
like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.
4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.
(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.
if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)
you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.
what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.
edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.
ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!
just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!
when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.
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btsandvmin · 2 years
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Ask: Reply - 2021.12.14
So, I’ve been on a bit of a break, mostly for my own health and inability to do, well... most things, for a while. But I’ve missed being here, even if the break has been really good and I am glad I did it. Likely I will also post in a slower pace from now on as well. But I am glad you all have sent me nice messages and have been understanding even if you have missed my posts.
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Here are the topics of this post. You’ll notice they are all fairly ”old”. :P
Ask 1 - Manipulating content Ask 2 - New army who wonders about Vmin and their stiffness Ask 3 - BTS, Universe and LGBT+ Ask 4-6 - My Universe with Vmin perspective Ask 7 - More about Lizzo and the shirt
I felt it was time to answer some asks again, and some of these replies are actually written months ago, but I never finished posting it. Still, I hope you’ll have an interesting read. :)
Ask 1 - Manipulating content
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Hi, and thank you for this ask, it’s a very important topic. I think it goes for all content though, as a lot of the time shippers might 1. Not watch original content at all or to a lesser extent and only see clips of their own ship. or 2. Focus and see the shipping content so much more they simply forget or can ignore the original context.
Of course it might be even worse if the content is difficult to get a hold of and it will mean it’s harder to check for those that want to.
I also saw general accounts miss the part about it being a joke at first, it took a while for it to spread. (Thankfully the clip had japanese subtitles so I didn’t have to wait for translations, but I know it took a while and that even ot7 translators seemed to miss the last part about it being a lie).
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I mean, I think either way this whole conversation is very cute and light hearted and should not be used as some weird way to show Vmin doesn’t get along. We know they have talked about fighting before, and that they were super close as trainees/early years but also fought more because they were close. They have basically said similar things before, but it’s clear they don’t think it was something negative. Also, it just makes no sense if you think Vmin are pushed by Big Hit as close, for them to casually talk about fighting or make jokes like this... You really have to have a predetermined negative view to see this as something bad.
As for other shippers (or antis), I just wish they would stop getting involved in other ships than their own as a way to highlight themselves as superior...
Sadly, most shippers to various degrees manipulate/enhance moments in their own favor. All I can do is hope that people actually watch original content, and also take everything from a shipper with a grain of salt (and that includes me). They will be biased no matter if it’s intentional or not. But obviously we sadly see a lot of these examples with an explicit agenda to make a ship or member look bad. And we know these things work, making people doubt Vmin’s closeness or worry about them etc. So yeah, it’s a scary thing and I hope people being aware might help at least a little bit. If you watch shipping content and end up changing your view from before you watched shipping content you might want to be careful.
Ask 2 - New army who wonders about Vmin and their stiffness
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Hi Simon, welcome to the fandom (no matter if you consider yourself ARMY or not) and thank you for your ask. What a cute way to get into BTS, by finding Friends. :)
I can say that even being a shipper I also don’t understand some of Vmin’s behavior. It’s honestly one of the weirdest things about them, that as you say they seem to have some contradictions in their behaviors. I wrote about this a long time ago in my post Vmin - Push and Pull. That was just me guessing, and wondering why Vmin sometimes seem super close, and other times seem almost stiff or awkward or even nervous.
My view is that while Jimin and Taehyung are super close, consider each other soulmates and both are very physically intimate people, there are moments when they seem unsure. When Jimin get nervous or pushes Tae away, or when Taehyung gets stiff or hesitates to initate touch with Jimin. For me it’s odd to see two people who can cuddle or do a lot of intimate things with both each other and other members sometimes act like it’s a big deal or get awkward over things that doesn’t seem like they should matter.
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For me I think Jimin is a person who likes having control, and I think Taehyung is the most unpredictable member. So perhaps it’s as simple as it not being on Jimin’s terms having him act nervous which in turn has lead to Taehyung initiating less with Jimin, compared to other members. Still, to me it doesn’t seem to be consistant, and I think it’s possible Vmin’s odd push and pull could be a result in them not being sure about what is ok or not. Thus if they overthink we might see reactions to moments that shouldn’t be a big deal. That’s just my theory. 
I see no point in them lying about being close, and especially Tae who always emphasis on being honest and doing a lot of things his own way no matter what, I trust his feelings and gushing about Jimin. I also know they have plenty of super intimate moments where they seem to not care at all, and almost forget the rest of the world around them. As well as reports from backstage moments we have never gotten to see. So it seems weird their “stiffness” or awkwardness wouldn’t be consistant if it was truly them not liking or wanting to do some things, like initiating skinship. It could I suppose be context of each moment leading to their reactions as well, like where they are or mood for example. But it does seem to happen quite a lot, and I would probably say it seems like a behavior at this point rather than just coincidence each time.
It’s interesting that you have noted this behavior even without being a shipper though, makes me feel like maybe it’s not just me over analyzing things. Still, there could be other reasons I fail to think of... But in the end to me it looks like Vmin might hold back and be a bit unsure at times, and other times are completely fine and don’t think about their actions at all. This is one of the biggest questionmarks Vmin raises to me, and why I wonder if they might have something to be careful about, unlike other pairs in the group.
Ask 3 - BTS, Universe and LGBT+
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Hi, @cottoncandykings​ and thank you for this ask. :)
First let’s look at what Christ said about Universe.
Chris Martin on working with BTS: “We really don’t believe in any boundaries or separation of anything really, and so the song My Universe is about someone being told they can’t love a certain other person, or can’t be with this race, or they can’t be gay - whatever it might be.
And we thought, it would be good to sing this with BTS because maybe we're not supposed to be together. And it turned out to be one of the most fun things ever. I went to Korea to be with them, it’s been amazing.”
I think it’s great, and I love that it’s a openly lgbt+ supportive song, even though the lyrics can match for any kind of prejudice that gets in the way of love. I wish this would be a sign of BTS showing more support openly, but I don’t really think it is. But I hope. 
Honestly, I feel like this isn’t that much “more” than other things BTS has done... I mean, Stigma for example for sure could be LGBT+, but it’s not stated anywhere and it can match other struggles as well. As for BTS we have had them talking about LGBT+ before, like in the Billboard interview from 2018 Which is more openly supportive. You can see Namjoon kind of hesitating but at least Yoongi was very blunt about it. 
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They have also talked about other things for example mentioning gender at the UN speech, the “we don’t have time for boyfriends or girlfriends“ or of course being fans and even making covers/recomendations of several LGBT+ artists/songs/movies etc. But in general they are rather vague about it.
As for Universe and Chris Martin I am glad he said that and that the song represents this and BTS are involved. But I do think it makes a big difference that it was Chris that said it and not BTS. I think we can all agree BTS are allies at the very least, but their soft power and the homophobia in Korea is likely making it more difficult for them to be outspoken. I personally wish they would do more because I think it would make a big difference, but I also understand that sadly it’s a risk with the current political climate in Korea (and sadly amongst many other fans outside of Korea too) and with the political power BTS has.
But let’s hope. We know the world is slowly changing (though way too slow), so maybe they can become more openly supportive too, because I am sure if they did they would help change the world faster.
Ask 4-6 - My Universe with Vmin perspective
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I got a few more asks about My Universe (I removed the name on one because it seems they sent a second one with anon on), and I thought I should add the Vmin “perspective” on top of what I covered in the previous reply.
To be honest I also feel this song “fits” the Vmin narrative very well, but considering a lot of BTS songs does it all makes it very amibigous even with Vmin’s own songs. Like I mentioned in my series Vmin song analysis - Winter in August it’s definitely possible I am just reading way too much into things.
The similar themes in other songs by BTS (or even TXT) could point at me over analyzing and just finding things I can make fit because I want to. That’s why that whole post (Winter in August) is actually better to take with a grain of salt in a Vmin perspective, even though I do think some things are very significant both for Vmin but in particular Taehyung.
Anyways, back to My Universe. As you all mention the lyrics do match very well with a lot of the themes we have seen in Vmin’s songs, and it having a specific message to include struggles of the LGBT+ community is of course not to be ignored.
However, I very much doubt Chris Martin wrote a song with Vmin in mind, so while there are several themes and lines that match Vmin very well, and with their earlier songs too, I personally won’t go into much detail about the song. Rather I will just name it as a good “Vmin song” in the way it fits them well, and then of course be happy and hopefull this will mean BTS can start to be more open with LGBT+ support in some ways. 
Thank you all for the asks though, I can’t blame you for seeing the “Vmin” in the lyrics, because I did as well as soon as I heard the song and read the lyrics.
Ask 7 - More about Lizzo and the shirt
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Hi, I actually already talked about this in my post Ask: Reply - 2021.09.23. Maybe you missed it, or maybe you wanted more of an opinion on how it might be from Vmin’s perspective?
Since you mention Vmin keeping a low profile I thought I might leave my two cents on that in particular. The things is that while Vmin might keep some things more “private” or possibly seem to avoid being shipped (of course this is my assumption and not something we know), they are not really keeping a low profile. I mean, if they were they wouldn’t have released “Friends”.
I think Vmin are possibly keeping some things a bit “lowkey” and might even avoid certain things or situations. But they are very out there with their love for each other and they are by no definition a hidden or discreet relationship. The whole world literally know they consider each other best friends and soulmates.
What Vmin are careful with (if they are) is being seen in a romantic light.
Lizzo wearing a ship name shirt is certainly not something I liked, and I am not sure how it would make Vmin feel to see it. But I don’t think it will change much or would be considered a “fail”. If anything it shows how much both Vmin and Vminies/fans can get away with and do compared to ji/kookers or tae/kookers.
Most people just saw it as her having “good taste” and finding it fun. Likely because the word Vmin, while being a ship name, is considered as simply talking about Vmin. Platonic or not. And since Lizzo also talked about how much she likes Vmin’s friendship it’s likely fine. People don’t see her as a shipper and thus her talking about liking Vmin is basically the same as choosing a bias.
Anyways, since Vmin are already so accepted as platonic soulmates by the fandom, and also Lizzo’s liking of them being about their friendship, this might get Vmin some extra attention, but it will be in the same light as they and Big Hit have highlighted themselves. Two best friends and soulmates.
Vmin has grown a lot since Friends was released, both as a ship and as a platonic friendship fans adore. I really don’t think the problem would be about getting attention on their bond, as long as the view remains mainly platonic. And this goes no matter if Vmin would actually be real or not.
Of course we have also seen BTS talk about this, and how she likes Vmin in particular, and they all seemed to have fun enough with her at the Harry Styles concert, so while I think she might be a bit “out there” with her bias and wouldn’t want people to follow her example, at least they don’t seem too bothered with it. (Though Tae and Jimin seemed a bit awkward with being pointed out as favorites in that interview I don’t think they felt badly about it.) It also seems it got Vmin to know about Vmin so... Honestly Iam a bit scared if they start to acknowledge Vmin as a unit name instead of 95z. ^^’’’
Thank you for the ask, and I hope I understood your question right.
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Also I know these asks might not have been the ones you are the most curious about right now. I have sooooo many asks left, and as you know there are A LOT of BIG THINGS that have happened since my break... I mean, a Vmin Vlive? Just Vmin in LA in general? The IG accounts? The song Taehyung posted? I don’t know if I will ever be able to catch up with it all. :P Anyways, I wanted to get this out of my drafts as it’s been there so long (I’ve changed the date in the title 3 times already the first being from october.) I hope you had fun reading anyways. Thank you all for waiting so patiently.
I also want to say THANK YOU and how happy I am that so many of you wanted to join the Discord and are enjoying it so much. It makes me really happy to see.
💜 I purple you! 💜
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thoushallnotfall · 3 years
Text
Prey - Part 4
Previous // Masterlist
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Pairing: (poly) The Lost Boys x Reader
Word Count: 3k 
Notes: Look at me posting when I said I would. Aren’t y’all proud?
So is this a legit series now? With like, a plot and everything?
Yeah, I guess it is...sort of. (I mean ‘plot’ is a bit of a stretch...I literally have no idea what I’m doing I am flying by the seat of my pants here; but what’s new?)
I swear, I just really wanted to give you guys another part because you wanted it and then I really liked this reader (she’s super shy which makes her so fun to write with the boys, but even though she comes off timid at first--which she is--she’s also got this like, below-the-surface layer of feistiness and sometimes even a lil’ bit of sarcasm goin’ on. She’s just such a delight and I love her with my whole heart.) and I was wondering 'Hey, I wonder what it would be like when she found out they were vampires?' But I gotta like...get there first...yah know what I'm sayin?? So yeah...series...
You looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself another once-over. Everything seemed good--or, as good as it was going to get, anyway. You shook your head, trying to clear out all the negative thoughts.
No, you did look good! Tiffany was always telling you your biggest problem was just you lacked confidence--and when it came to confidence she was the queen--so you were trying to work on being more positive.
Still, it was hard to be confident when you were so nervous. You sighed, looking over at the clock. It was already nearly 9 O'clock; when were they planning on showing up? It's not like they had said any specific time--maybe they just didn't know where you lived? They dropped you off down the street last time; it could be they were waiting there for you? Or maybe they just changed their minds all together and they found something better to do...
With that thought you hear the unmistakable sound of engines and run to the window. Poking your head out, you see the lights of four familiar bikes pull up at the edge of your cul-de-sac, their riders looking up at your window as they waved for you to come down. You wave back, signaling for them to wait, moving silently out of your room and down the stairs. Thankfully, your mother was in the bath, and your father had fallen asleep in front of the TV; so as long as you were quiet you could sneak out undetected.
You had never snuck out before, truthfully you had never had reason to up until now. But you didn't want to lie and tell them you were going out with the girls, only to have that backfire if one of the girls called you--or worse, if you stayed out too late and your parents tried to call one of the girls' houses, only to find out you lied and snuck out to meet someone they didn't know. Better to only get in trouble for one thing rather than two...if you got caught, of course.
You gently closed the front door, locking it behind you before quickly turning and running down the driveway toward the boys. They smirk as you run up to them, a little out of breath after fleeing your house.
"Hey kitten, nice night for a run, huh?" David teased. You blush.
"S-shut up! It's not my fault you parked so far away!" You defended.
"Oh sorry, did you want your folks to see us picking you up?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. You pouted, looking away; you knew he was right, but you were still annoyed.
"Damn babe, you're looking good tonight." Paul says, completely ignoring your conversation as he leans over the handlebars of his bike to stare at you. You blush, holding up a hand to hide a shy, satisfied grin.
"Oh, um thank you Paul." You reply.
"Yeah y/n, you look super cute." Marko agrees, looking you up and down with a wide smirk spread across his face. "Almost good enough to eat." He and Paul laugh at what was apparently a very funny joke. While you watch them, confused about what was so funny, Dwayne gets off his bike and strolls over to them, giving each of them a firm smack to the back of the head.
"Hey!" Paul exclaims.
"Dwayne!" Marko yells. He looks at them for a few seconds as they both clutch the backs of their heads, before turning and making his way over to you.
"I'm sorry about them y/n; they mean well, they just can't help themselves sometimes." Dwayne says. You weren't really sure why he was apologizing, but you figured it was better just to let it go and move on rather than ask questions--the boys were just weird like that sometimes.
"Um, it's fine." You say, smiling up at him. He smiles back and you feel your heart flutter.
"Why don't you ride with me? I promise I'll get you there safely." He asks.
"Aw, no fair Dwayne; I wanted her to ride with me!" Paul says.
"Yeah, why do you get to have all the fun?" Marko grumbles.
"Oh, yeah sure." You reply, ignoring the two blondes whining. You hadn't really thought about the fact that'd you'd be riding on one of the bikes with them. That didn't seem safe at all; but then again, of the four Dwayne did seem like he'd probably be the safest driver. "But um, where's 'there?'"
"You'll see kitten--it's a surprise." David replies, his usual smirk plastered across his face. Great, that was comforting.
You follow Dwayne and sit on the seat behind him, trying not to think about how firm his back was or how much you were blushing as you tightly wrap your arms around his waist. You saw David speed off into the night, followed quickly by Paul and Marko; their taillights leaving red streaks in the night.
"Hang on tight." Dwayne said as the bike roared to life.
The next thing you know you feel the bike kick forward and you're gripping onto Dwayne for dear life. You feel the rush of wind running through your hair and hear the boys laughing, but your eyes are shut tight and you see nothing but black. Your heart is pounding so hard in your chest you know Dwayne must be able to feel it against his back as you hold onto him for dear life.
Out of the suburbs, the boys speed up; howling and laughing louder as they go. You didn't think it was possible, but you find yourself clinging to Dwayne tighter as you feel the bike go faster down into the sand. You hear the boys call your name, but you still refuse to open your eyes.
'Y/N you're safe, I promise. You can open your eyes, it's okay.' Dwayne said softly. You felt the fear begin to fade, and slowly began to open you eyes. You were on the beach now, the scenery flying by in a flash, and the boys were around you looking back at you with grins on their faces. Once they saw you open your eyes, they began to cheer and yell into the night, and you smile as you felt a small sense of pride well up inside you.
Eventually, they park in what looks like the middle of nowhere; Dwayne helps you off the bike as Paul and Marko playfully push and swat at each other, clearly riled up from the ride. David leads the group as the five of you make your way towards the sea and what looks like the mouth of a cave; with trash strewn all around and a large, foreboding sign signaling ‘Danger’ hanging overhead.
"Please tell me we're not going in there?" You plead as you eye the mouth of the cave warily, knowing full well that's exactly where you were heading.
"Aw, what’s wrong y/n? Yah scared?” Paul teases, coming up to walk beside you. “Don’t worry; I’ll protect you. Just stay nice and close.” He said, pulling you in tight. You blush and push against his side.
“Paul! Let go!” You say, trying to wiggle free of his hold. “I’m not scared! I just, um, well, I-I just don’t see what’s so interesting about a waterlogged old cave--that’s all.” You lied. Of course you were scared; the cave was creepy, and all the reasons you could imagine for why they had brought you out there were anything but pleasant: Nothing good happened in caves.
“You’ll see.” Marko said, smirking as he came up on your other side. 
The boys lead you down into the cave, Paul and Marko each taking one of your hands so you don’t trip. Making it inside before you, Dwayne went around setting fire to the contents of a few metal drums that were dotted around the cave. They acted like crude braziers, lighting the large room and allowing you to get a better look at the place. 
It certainly wasn’t what you were expecting to find inside some random cave in the middle of nowhere. There was stuff everywhere: At first glance it all looked like junk, but the more you looked the more you thought everything in the cave had been meticulously collected--probably over several years given how much there was. There looked to be some sort of structure almost merged inside the cave’s walls, like the husk of a building that had long since died, and now only the bones remained.
“What is all this?” You ask, looking around in awe.
“You like it?” David stared down at you and smiled. “It’s our place.” You stopped gawking at the room and turned to face him.
“Your place?” You repeated. “So what, you guys, like, live here?”
“Damn right!” Marko said proudly as he fell back on the couch. “Pretty sweet, huh? No parents, no responsibilities: we do what we want, when we want.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” You reply half-heartedly. It sounded nice enough--though you weren’t sure about living in a cave, even if it was cooler than you were expecting--but how did they survive like that? How did they have money for food? Clothes? And everything else in here? It was all well and good to say you did what you wanted whenever, but how could they be sustaining that kind of a lifestyle?
“We’re not selling drugs or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Dwayne clarified, smiling as he walked over to you. You shake your head.
“Oh no, I wasn’t thinking that!” You absolutely were thinking that.
“It’s alright, don’t worry.” Dwayne smiled down at you. “Anyway; it’s true we don’t have steady jobs, but we do alright.” He replies. He moved past you to sit in one of the chairs by the couch, where Paul had already taken a seat beside Marko and was now gesturing for you to come join them.
You hesitantly walk over, gingerly sitting at the edge of the couch by Paul. He immediately throws an arm around the back of the couch behind you, smiling from ear to ear, and you feel your face flush as you look away.
"So what do you think?" David asks, the last to take a seat as he slumps down in an old wheelchair facing you and the others.
"About what?" You ask.
"Now that you see how we live, do you think you could see yourself dating four degenerate punks living against the grain of society?" David asked, gesturing grandly out at the cave. He was clearly being sarcastic, but the question was real enough.
It's not like you hadn't been thinking about it. Finding out they all lived in some communal cave situation was strange, sure--but honestly not really that surprising given who you were dealing with. You had already begun to suspect they were runaways or something--Santa Carla was a popular stop for runaways, or so you’d heard--so finding out they didn't have homes wasn't all that shocking really. Still, it was just one more thing to add to your list entitled 'Is this really a good idea, y/n?'
"Well, I mean..." You hesitate, embarrassed. "You living in a cave isn't a deal breaker--if that's what you're asking."
"I wasn't." David replies flatly, then sighs. "But a guess it's a start."
"Come on babe--how long are you gonna keep us hanging?" Paul asks, looking over at you with big, blue, puppy-dog eyes. Why was he so pretty?
"Yeah y/n, I thought you liked us?" Marko chimed in. He rested his chin on Paul's shoulder so he was facing you, and there was a sad, over-exaggerated look on his angelic face. It should be criminal to be allowed to have a face like that when you knew he was anything but an angel.
"I told you two not to pressure her." Dwayne scolded the two boys as they continued to stare at you.
“It’s alright Dwayne; I know you guys have been pretty patient waiting for me to make up my mind about things.” You reply.
“Yeah we have! You know, normally we would’ve just gotten bored and moved on by now--that’s how much we’re into you!” Paul said, smiling proudly.
“Oh yeah, because that’s really going to help our case, Paul.” Marko rolled his eyes sarcastically at his friend as he leaned back on the couch.
“What? I’m just say’n we’re serious about her, that’s all!” Paul replied defensively.
“It’s okay Paul; I knew what you meant.” You told him with a small smile. If anyone else had said something like that of course you would be worried, but you were getting pretty used to the boys and their personalities by now, and you knew Paul had meant it as a compliment. 
“See? I knew you’d understand y/n!” Paul said, beaming over at you with a smile that made your heart melt. Of course, you knew the boys probably had a lot of experience with girls before you--that was hardly news. But they seemed serious enough about you now, and you could hardly think about starting a relationship with them if you weren’t willing to put your trust in them. “You’re the best babe!” 
Paul suddenly jumps forward and wraps his arms around your waist, engulfing you in a tight embrace.
“P-Paul?” You barely manage to squeak out his name as your face grew hot. You can hear Marko laughing as you begin to wiggle and push against Paul’s chest. “L-let go please!”
“Mm, I would babe--but you smell so good.” He replies, nuzzling into the curve of your neck. You have to hold in a scream of surprise at the sudden action, all while feeling you might melt into the couch you’re so embarrassed. Why was he suddenly, well, whatever--and right in front of the others! Did it really not bother him that they were there?
Was this what it was going to be like all the time with them?
“Paul, enough.” David called sternly. Paul lifted his head.
“Aw, come on--it’s not like I’m gonna-”
“Enough.” David repeated forcefully. Paul winced, and reluctantly let you go.
“Sorry babe--guess I got a little carried away.” Paul apologized, looking at you sheepishly.
“It’s fine Paul, just--just maybe try and control yourself a little next time, okay?” You reply, sighing as you feel your heart beating a mile a minute. 
These boys were going to be the death of you.
---
You spend most of the night hanging out in the cave with the boys with no more major incidences, and finally it was time for you to head home. David tells Dwayne to take you back alone while he had a ‘talk’ with the blondes. 
Oof, that didn’t sound good.
Dwayne takes you home, thankfully going slower than on your ride to the cave. He pulls up at the end of your cul-de-sac, killing the engine and turning the headlights off so you have a few minutes to talk.
“Thanks for the ride.” You say, looking over at him as he stays seated on his bike.
“No problem.” He replies, smiling softly at you. You smile back, blushing lightly as you look down at the ground. A comfortable silence spreads out between you as you enjoy the night air. It would be morning soon; when was the last time you stayed out this late?
“I know I gave those two a hard time for rushing you earlier,” Dwayne finally says, breaking the silence. “But if you did decide to give us a chance, I bet you’d be glad you did.” You looked over at him, his dark hair shining in the moonlight, and you felt your heart race. 
Something about Dwayne just made you want to trust him. Maybe it was just him, or maybe it was just that, in comparison to the other three, he was obviously just the most trustworthy of the bunch. Either way, when Dwayne said something, you found yourself naturally inclined to agree, regardless of what it was. You were grateful it was Dwayne that seemed to have this mysterious power and not one of the terror twin blondes--god knows what disasters that would cause. 
In this particular case however, while Dwayne’s influence certainly had it’s effect on you, you’d finally made up your mind about the whole thing earlier that night.
“Yeah, I think I will.” You reply, a shy smile on your face. “Give you a chance, I mean.” 
If Paul had been here he’d probably be jumping for joy. Marko would probably say something sarcastic that would double as an innuendo, and David would probably be trying to act all cool to hid the fact the he was actually happy. But Dwayne just looked at you with a warm, content smile. 
“I’m happy to hear that; I know the other guys will be too.” He replied, clearly pleased with your answer. He looked up at the sky. “It’ll be morning soon, I should go.” He looked back over at you. “Will we see you tomorrow?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sure.” You reply. He nodded, starting the engine of his bike and turning the headlights back on. You stood by, watching him as he prepared to leave. You were a little sad to see him go, even though you obviously knew he had to leave. He looked back over at you, and you saw a look quickly pass across his face. 
Suddenly, he reaches out and pulls you in, and before you realize what’s happening his lips are pressed gently to yours. You gasp before you feel yourself stop breathing all together; your heart sprinting as your mind muddles along trying to figure out what in the world is going on. 
And, just as quickly as it started, it’s over; leaving you no time to process what had just happened before Dwayne pulls away smiling. 
“See you tomorrow.” He leans in close so you can hear him over the roar of the engine, his breath tickling your ear. Before you can answer he’s gone; his taillights disappear into the night. The echo of his engine slowly disappears until the only sound left on the quiet street is the pounding of your racing heart.
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kaypeace21 · 3 years
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Rebel Robin podcast (ep 3 &4 analysis)
For those who haven’t read them yet. Here’s the analysis for podcast ep 1&2. Analysis of Rebel Robin book-here. And eastereggs from rebel robin novel- here.
So the main things I noticed in ep 3 was how Robin spying was shown as a huge NEGATIVE-and Mr Hauser got upset over her doing so. Robin listens to mr. Hauser’s phone call (like Karen with Mike in s3/ us gov spying on calls in s1) & on a different occasion Robin also eavesdrops on a private convo he is having with someone else in his classroom ( like El spying on Mike talking to Lucas in s3). And when he finds out about this he tells her how wrong it was to spy on other people like that. In the past, I also talked about how the theme of spying is shown for many other st characters ( in the show) and how it  isn’t romanticized like people think it is- here .
Anyways , Ep 3 ends with a call from a h*mophobic teen( Dash) telling Robin to “stay away” from Mr. Hauser cause he’s “dangerous”. Why he thinks he’s dangerous is solely for the fact he’s gay.I think this theme may come into play in s4 Hawkins (in relation to the satanic panic). In ep 4 Robin jokes to (gay) Mr. Hauser  : “ So what are you into... satanism?” (Sadly most queer people have been told over and over we’re going to hell for being gay/lgbt+. it’s sadly an almost universal experience.) For those unaware- the ‘satanic panic’ was a right wing christian movement in the 80′s that WRONGLY associated certain things with supposed satanism.  Just some of the many things they demonized : rock music , stephen king , wearing black,  horror/fantasy media, and of course queer people and d&d (hellfire club - the name is a a xmen ref but in the show it’s probably an inside joke about the satanic panic and people being scared of d&d). We see foreshadowing of the satanic panic hinted in s3 (in relation to d&d)- on tv the narrator asks if “satanism” (pans to d&d set) is to blame for the odd occurrances in Hawkins. And given how the s4 el-trailer had the clock say 3:00am for the “witching hour” also called “the devil’s hour” since it’s supposed to be a subversion of jesus dy*ing at 3:00 pm. And the possibility s4 may take place around Easter.  I think we’ll see that religious (Christian) extre*sm  causes many people in Hawkins to interpret the supernatural as ‘satanic’. And no , I’m obviously not talking poorly about all religious/christian people).
After this Mr. Hauser jokes how Hawkins is like “lord of the flies” and how he “worries” what would happen if teens were left to their own devices-like in the book. The themes in the book mostly focus on the dangers of ‘mob mentality’ and how human beings can become v*olent and turn on each other- if the safety of civilization disappears...
This I believe is foreshadowing - i mentioned in a post a while back (here). How movies on the s4 list had the theme of :  a supernatural event indirectly causing towns people to act irrationally and turn on eachother v*olently. Despite literal monsters attacking them from outside (they chose to turn on eachother instead). In the end some townspeople become the real monsters via mob mentality/v*oence/false witch hunts (the mist, the birds, etc). In ‘the birds’ (while people are hidding in a store)- they wrongly  blame certain characters for the supernatural chaos. Similarly, in ‘the mist’ (crowd of townspeople are trapped in a store) and some  start interpreting the monsters as being sent as punishment by god- some town’s people start quoting the bible and saying the only way to stop the punishment is to start “sacrificing the s*nners and nonbelievers”. BIG YIKES.ST references mapple street (where the wheelers and sinclairs live). It’s based on the twilight zone ep of the same name “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” .The ‘monsters’ of that episode -were the townspeople turning on eachother because they incorrectly think their own neighbors are part of an invading supernatural army. The enemy was actually the paranoia/mob mentality-not the supernatural force they feared.  And yes i do think this concept is linked with 80s satanic panic and will cause some town division/obstacles for our heroes to deal with . **I also think the s4 bts of the Hawkins blood clinic-may be used to show h*mophobia (linked to satanic panic) in the town. Like in one s4 movie “paradise lost”the punk rock boys who were into black clothes, rock music , horror/stephen king books- were accused by the town’s people of being gay AND have demonic powers that are k*lling fellow town’s people.
Mr Hauser says he thinks steve Harrington is Ralph from lord of the flies. And Robin disagrees saying he’s Jack. Personally- since this was when Robin didn’t know/hated Steve. I think Mr hauser is right that Steve is Ralph (one of the oldest boys) who’s “commitment to civilization and morality is strong”. But Jack  (perhaps the popular s4 kid Jake?) and his savage crew take control of the group and start trying to attack Ralph and his friends (steve’s crew- over satanic panic?). How this begins is -
 Jack, torments Ralph and others. And some kids begin to develop savage personalities, after someone claims to have seen a Beast (demongorgan?) in the woods. This creates fear among the boys, which allows Jack to access more power.Ralph gets into an argument with Jack, who splits from the tribe. Many of the other boys follow Jack, who uses fear to manipulate the boys into leaving Ralph. And Jack’s crew begin attacking Ralph and his friends.
----------------
Ok, next topic of ep 4- the sentimental part of my brain got emotional when hearing how upset Robin was. And than Mr Hauser-telling her she’s wrong and she’s not “broken” or “rotten” and “nothing about her needs to be fixed’” (got me right in the feels) . As a queer person- I feel like every lgbt+ kid/teen needs to hear what Mr. Hauser said to Robin. 
However,  the analytical part of my brain -did notice some easterggs/ series parallels.
The convo starts with them talking about music Mr hauser likes (such as Bowie). And transitions to Mr Haauser asking about things she likes, whether she’s being bullied, and he later tells her “ DON’T let other people’s small mindedness make you fell bad about yourself. you don’t need to change yourself-no matter what anyone else says” . And Mr Hauser than says him calling her the “weirdest girl in Hawkins” was a compliment (not an insult-like she initially assumed). 
This is remarkably similar to certain scenes in s1/2. In s1, Jonathan mentions musicians he likes such as Bowie, asks Will about what he likes,  and tells Will “don't like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to-especially not him (their dad who called him h*mophobic names)” . In s2, Jonathan tries to cheer Will up after asking if he's being being bullied. And calls Will  “a freak” (and says it’s a good thing) and he should be content with being a “freak “ and compares Will to Bowie ( who was openly queer since the 70s) . 
In ep 4, Robin also mentions how sad she is that her parents won’t let her ride her bike anymore cause their paranoid about her safety  (like what happened to Will in s2).
Robin (before Mr. Hauser comforts her) says she feels like she has a “rot” inside her  . This is a s2 eastergg that could be linked to either Will or El. Will says his now-memories are “growing”, spreading”, and killing.” Later Kali says the emotional pain caused by her father  caused a “wound” to “spread”. Later allusion-Brenner tells El she has a “terrible wound “ (“a rot”) that Will “grow, spread, and kill.”
The reason Robin rants about feeling like she has a “rot” inside her is because she’s being bullied, and  lost all her Hawkins friends and says  “maybe I’m broken maybe there is just something about me that drives people away? I’m the only common denominator-there’s something wrong with me! There’s something inside of me that’s just rotten and there’s nothing i can do to fix it”. Which 1)-poor Robin. 2) I feel like could easily be How Will feels in s4(who will be the same age as Robin is here in the podcast)- his dad abandoned him, all his hawkins friends are gone , the st s4 movies have h*mophobic bullying in them (and he was bullied in the past). In a interview Noah said Will in s4 “doesn’t really get along with people-it’s just him and Mike.”  I think it fits more so with Will than El . But they may feel similar:  it’s implied in s4 audition tapes she’ll be bullied too,  she moved away from her friends,  and her father (Hopper) fake “passed away.” It could easily be how both Will and El feel in s4- that there is  something “broken”/ “rotten” about them . In fact, in the rebel Robin novel there is even a character named Sheena. Sheena reminds me a bit of a mix between Will and el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things stuffed  in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombie-boy note in his locker. A teacher doesn’t stop her bullying just blames her and says “ This wouldn’t happen if you made it just a smidgen easier for PEOPLE to understand you.”(sort of reminding me of that Noah quote about s4 Will not getting along with most people/Jonathan saying not to change himself cause “people” say to). But sheena can be another name for Jane (there was also a 80s show character named Sheena who was psychic) so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highschool? Along with Will?
*It’s not a eastergg/parallel...just speculation. Unlike the rebel robin book... in the podcast (in multiple episodes) almost every time she opens up to Mr Hauser about her problems she says it’s ok for him to do the same and she’ll be supportive and listen. However, Mr Hauser (so far) always rejects her offer-much to her hurt/frustration. In ep 4, she asks if he has someone his “own age” he can talk to about his problems-which he says he does. Now... since in ep 4 Mr hauser is paralleled to Jonathan maybe Jonathan will have someone his own age to talk to about his problems (maybe his new friend Argyle?) We see similar to Mr Hauser giving advice/pep talks to (gay) Robin. Jonathan is always giving advice/peptalks to our (gay-coded) Will. But so far- Jonathan has no one he really emotionally leaned on in the same way (Will does with Jonathan). I also wonder if Will in s4 starts gets tired of how he always confides in Jonathan (but Jonathan never does the same with Will  in return)? Like Robin with Mr. Hauser?
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blanknamed · 3 years
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trial and error pt. 2 [senku x reader]
NOT ME FORGETTING TO POST CHAPTER TWO LMAOOO SORRY HERE IT IS THO
SHIPPING: SENKU X READER
PREMISE: [Name] had always known Senku was a little bit of an oddball but that’s what made him so interesting to her as children. Now in the Stone World, he’s only even more interesting what with his claims about shooting up to a million years worth of technology back, but some things never change with him; specifically on the concept of love. As a way to get him to think about it as something other than “disgusting feelings” she proposes for him to think of it differently, though it seems to be going in a direction she never expected.
PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE
{–*–}
CHAPTER TWO: CONTEMPLATION
How did I get myself into this situation? [Name] asked herself desperately, watching Ruri shuffle around her hut, staring at the dresses given by the village women lined up neatly on the floor. She held up a blue dress [Name]’s way, who only stared at the shortened skirt. Just the look alone was enough for Ruri to understand that she didn’t like it, causing her to giggle at the reaction.
“You don’t seem to be happy about this even though you were the one who gave Senku the idea.” Ruri stated as she kneeled behind her to start braiding [Name]’s unruly hair.
“Just because I gave him the idea doesn’t mean I wanted to be his little test subject.” [Name] groaned. An unreadable look passed Ruri as she watched the younger girl’s growing discomfort. If she was even more redder, she would’ve matched what she had looked like a few hours ago.
“Huh?” [Name] asked as she stared at Senku, who only looked at her pointedly. Quickly, blood rushed on every part of her face as she started stutter. “Wha--I--you did not just say what I thought I heard you say.”
“What part did you not understand?” Senku asked dismissively, talking as if he hadn’t just asked out his childhood friend on a date. “I might as well take you on one to get good feedback. No one else gives any as specifc as you.”
Feedback.
Feedback.
The word kept repeating in [Name]’s head, almost making her dizzy. What did she expect, though? She told him, a scientist, to treat it like an experiment. Test a hypothesis. She was pretty sure he only wanted to take her in particular because (1) he wanted good feedback, like he had said, and (2) if there was even a slight chance he was going to take another girl on a date, Senku was going to force [Name] to come along to examine and analyze. Which was, by common sense, not really going to be a date.
“Oi, you don’t say that to a girl, especially if you just asked her out.” Chrome called out, punching Senku on the shoulder. “Not to mention isn’t that a breach in--what was it? Ethnics? Right?”
“Ethics.” Gen corrected before nodding in confirmation, looking at the two friends. “There’s a lot of things that could go wrong because you’re not following the right rules here, Senku-chan. Wouldn’t it be better to just pair up two different villagers who are single and see how romance can be attainable from there?”
[Name] could see slight movements from her side, where a few of the younger villagers turned a hue of pink as they glanced at one another, probably thinking about the prospect of being one of Senku’s experiements. Seeing that the benefits outweighing the negative prospects (not getting injured in any way possible, no one being able to see them except possibly Senku, and the prospects of a lover), it looked like a few of them were already making the decision to be part of it.
But this was Senku. He wasn’t about to play matchmaker if he himself couldn’t even find a reason to think that love wasn’t some illogical construct to fill up human loneliness. She wasn’t the only who was thinking that, though, as Kohaku spoke up.
“But this is about Senku thinking he can’t have those types of feelings so its gonna have to be him.” She replied blandly. “[Name] was probably chosen because he wants her to be there to watch him for any signs, regardless if its here being taken on a date or not.”
“That and she proposed the idea so she’s going to do it.” Senku piped up, sending [Name] a teasing grin.
[Name], burning even redder, stuttered some more. “You-You’ve got to be kidding me Senku. This must be some type of joke. I only said that to make conversation.”
“It was an interesting conversation and a weird statement that I wanna experiment on. Nothing less expected from you, though, [Name].” Senku replied as he kept slurping at the last of his ramen. “Besides its not like you have anything to do tonight.”
“Yeah, but--wait, tonight? Don’t you have get things in order--start out a claim, set up the experiment?” [Name] rambled, now even more confused. 
Kohaku met Chrome’s eyes with a deadpanned expression. Leave it to [Name] to treating it like an actual experiment and finding the faults. Though, Senku wasn’t usually one to leave out so many variables that could ruin the experiment.
“These are special cicumstances; have you ever participated in your own experiments? Adjustments will be made, yeah, but we might as well start it today and talk about it during the date. Just meet me by the bridge tonight. We’ll go to the field, go on a date, and then you can report to me anything you saw. Sound good? Cool. Now lets get back to work.” Senku said, standing up dusting off his pants, leaving a bewildered [Name] and possibly most of the village in his wake.
If it hadn’t been for a few of the village women, [Name] wouldn’t have been pulled out of her daze and internal panic. She’s had crushes on boys, yeah, but going on a date? Not really. She was too busy with school and helping her mother out at the store. There were a few times where she had almost gone on a one, but something always made her call in for a raincheck and then never proceeding afterwards.
But here she was 3,700 years later, sitting in a priestess’s hut, getting ready to go on a date with the world’s biggest asshole.
Kohaku had been the one to think about bringing the younger girl up to Ruri, explaining what had went down. Surprisingly, the village priestess was the least bit shocked about the events, deciding to (calmly) agree anyways to help relieve some of the immense stress [Name] was feeling. At the mention of Ruri helping created some domino effect with the village women, all offering to help [Name] get ready, much to her dismay.
“Its not like Senku’s gonna make the effort to dress nicely. I swear he wouldn’t have showered if I hadn’t made Chrome and Kinro drag him to the river a few days ago! Not to mention he’s only doing this to prove a point; that’s why he’s rushing it so quickly. So I really don’t think all of you should be treating this as anything special.” [Name] tried to reason as she watched the women pull up rope-like jewelry up to her body.
Kohaku scoffed. “Its not like boys know how to take care of themselves in the first place. I’m pretty sure one of the men in the village has his head screwed on properly or most likely Gen is gonna make him dress up just a little bit. Not to mention if this is an experiment then he’s most likely not trying to botch it to just prove a point.”
“Then why was he being so… So…” [Name] trailed off, not quite putting a word on it.
“Adamant?” Ruby offered as she held up a pretty necklace with a jewel attached to it.
“Excited?” Garnet said next as she pushed her chin up to spread something on her mouth. Lipstick? [Name] inquired. I guess the need for makeup never changes after so many years.
“Not really excited but--hold on, didn’t you three want to go on a date with Senku? I thought you’d be mad or something.” [Name] stated, clearly remembering the usual formula of girl’s behaviors during the modern era. It usually involved in some type of “she said he said” situation, where rumors ensued. At the very least, the three sisters should have been upset with her for Senku’s selection in dates.
Sapphire shrugged as she plucked at [Name]’s baggy dress. “We were for a few hours, but we might as well help since you look like you don’t know the first thing about going on a date.”
“Wha--Hey!” [Name] retorted, offended before backtracking. I mean, it’s not like they’re wrong.
“Maybe he actually likes you.” Kohaku suggested as she sat across from [Name]. Silence filled the room as all the girls stared at them. A moment passed between the two girls as they looked at one another until [Name] bursted out laughing, almost smearing her cheek against the lipstick hovering in front of her.
“Not possible. I’m pretty sure he sees me more of a germ than a person. Not to mention he’s never really found the girls in his own grade--the ones older than me--attractive so what’s the likely chance he sees me that way?” She asked when she stopped. She recalled a rumor swirling around the school about Senku rejecting over 10 girls during Valentine’s Day, all of them varying in popularity and looks. 
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, [Name]-san.” Ruri commented as she held another dress up to her, this one looking a little more decent. “You’re easily one of the prettiest girls here.”
“Don’t make me laugh again…” [Name] mumbled to herself, flinching when she felt Sapphire poke at her waist once again. “Oi, why are are you poking me?”
“I’m trying to see what your shape is like so we can let you try on one of the dresses.” Sapphire replied, pouting. “Why do you have to wear such baggy clothes?”
“Practicality.” Was the only response [Name] gave as she tried to keep still when makeup was being put on her.
“That’s a lame excuse. I bet you’re just hiding the fact you have small boobs.”
“My boobs have nothing to do with my clothes. Besides, small boobs or not, it shouldn’t matter what people think about them--!” [Name] yelled out, embarrassed, as a dress was thrown onto her lap.
It was blue, like most of the villager’s clothing, but it seemed more simple and less body-hugging like most of the clothes. It flowed down near the bust, where it had folded nicely around it to adjust to anyone wearing it. The sleeves were puffy and ended where her biceps began, looking kind of like neatly made muffins. Instead of a rope, a thin piece of cloth of the same color was tied to the front, giving a nice, simple finish for the clothing.
If Mom was still alive, she’d probably be looking at how well done this dress was with just a simple loom and needle. [Name] thought as she marveled at the tiny needlework near the waist, creating tiny little flowers near the top. Looking up, she met Ruri’s gentle smile. “That should fit you since one of the village women is identical to your body shape. Now, lets get you dressed; you have to meet up with Senku soon.”
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
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“Let’s BTS” asks about “I like you the most” and Jin’s reaction
by Admin 2
First of all, I want to wish you all, far away in the world of Vmin and BTS, a healthy and peaceful Easter, if you celebrate it, and a nice weekend for those who don’t! Since Admin 1 is quite busy right now and currently also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, I (Admin 2) will take over our blog for a little while though Admin 1 will still be lurking and checking comments etc. I want to emphasize right away (you will probably notice it anyway) that I have no literary talent compared to Admin 1. I'll try to worthily “replace” Admin 1 for the time being and talk to you about Vmin and more.
Unlike Admin 1, I am not so careful with shipping discussions (and I even like them) as long as everything is done respectfully and we’re all sticking to the truth about the BTS members. I don't like criticizing other shippers because I understand that other fans may love their favorite members and ships just as much as we love Vmin or Namjin, but sometimes it’s inevitable that I have to say something.
So, I invite you to a discussion. I am open to discussion.
We got two interesting questions about “Let’s BTS” and specifically Jin’s reaction to vmin and I want to discuss them.
From anon: Hi, just wanted to see what you made of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message to Jimin on the Let’s BTS show. I’ve seen some people say he looks so done and even annoyed with it. I can understand him looking apprehensive at first because Tae is a bit of a loose canon, but everyone’s reaction after is to laugh and smile and shout but Jin is very stoic. I’m kinda new and wondering whether he isn’t a fan of Vmin’s brand of declaring their love on national TV. Although when I think of how he behaves with Joon - I’d struggle to wonder why he doesn’t like it. Any thoughts?
From anon: Hi, I cannot believe what I’m reading about Tae on some platforms. What is wrong with people? Anyways I wanted to ask you what you thought of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message for Jimin? I’ve started seeing people saying that Jin hates the fact they’re close that’s why his reaction was weird. I’m a vmin shipper but Jin is my bias and I can’t get my head around the fact that Jin doesn’t love them both dearly. He did look “apprehensive” perhaps but I’d say with Tae being Tae; that isn’t surprising.
In order to answer these two questions and to form my opinion on the matter, I’ve looked at the situation with regard to Jin and other members several times.
I admit that I’m surprised myself that Taehyung went this far. Actually, it's not even about the content of his words, but about the whole circumstance and the atmosphere that he created around his "confession". I don't know who added the music, whether it was a Taehyung hint or simply something the editors and PD thought of, but the whole situation and phrase gained even more "meaning" and "seriousness" through it.
I seemed as though the background music was supposed to make the moment remind everyone almost of a scene from a K-Drama (or one of vmin’s playful roleplays), but it only added to the effect of this being a serious, sincere and weighty moment instead.
Taehyung joked around by turning the table and pretending the envelope was not intended for Jimin, but this just led to an increase in the tension displayed by the members and the moment itself, and yet still Jimin was immediately convinced that he was the one for whom the envelope would be. Everyone was acting (which makes it sound like they were faking it which isn’t what I mean) like they were curious, but you could clearly see everyone's tension and nervousness, especially when looking at Jimin. Taehyung added that the contents of the card within the envelope were for Jimin's eyes only, emphasizing the seriousness and intimacy of what he was about to say. As a result, Jimin’s reaction led to uncertainty, nervousness, and at the same time an awareness of the sincerity and seriousness of Taehyung's words.
The words "I like you the most" are (on a superficial surface level) nothing big when compared to "I love you", but they still had the biggest reaction. Jimin wrote "I love you" to Suga and absolutely no one reacted nervously, everyone joined in on the declaration, and the situation was relaxed and even funny. Why did Taehyung’s words cause such reactions then? Why?
My thought is this: When the envelope was revealed to be for Jimin, it was met with tension by both members and Jimin. We all know that Taehyung can be a bit of a loose cannon sometimes, even on national television, when it comes to Jimin.
Jungkook immediately commented that "it’s about friendship", Suga laughed nervously and loudly, as if he wanted to end the situation quickly, and Jin had a serious face that didn’t seem all too positive or eager about what would happen next.I'm not going to go into Jimin's reaction here, but rather Jin’s, since that’s what the anons were wondering about.
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In my opinion, Jin doesn't like situations that slip into seemingly too private matters. He is definitely the kind of person who gives up the least private information. The situation with Vmin clearly didn't suit him. And not because Jin doesn't like Vmin (because that’s simply not true), but because he knew this program would be broadcast nationally and streamed worldwide, that it would be debated, that every word would be analyzed, and most importantly, because the team that recorded the show wasn’t their own but one that belonged to KBS. Jin doesn't want anyone to have access to BTS's private life, after all he even asked the You Quiz editors to cut what he saw as too sad/depressing about his answers so clearly he thinks about and considers many such things. I think Taehyung didn't care all that much, but Jin did care.
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Perhaps I will go too far in my analysis and imagination here, but let's not forget that in the near future Jin is going to have to leave for his military enlistment in the highly conservative Korean army, which holds very homophobic views. Any shadow cast on any of the BTS members (even if some of them are already suspected to be queer) can endanger Jin or make it even more difficult for him to perform his service well and safely. The suspicion that two of the members might be in a relationship with each other would make Jin an accomplice, since they belong to the same group and would lead to him also being suspected of being queer, guilty by associating basically. This is my opinion at least.
Jin is the oldest and feels responsible for BTS, much the way Namjoon does as leader, for everyone including Taehyung, because Jin is aware of the wave of hatred that will be/is poured onto Taehyung across sns after such a public statement. According to Jin, in my humble opinion, this is neither the time nor the place to take such a step in such serious manner. As long as everything was done in form of jokes and witty answers, Jin was joining in and having fun, but when it was Tae's turn his face became serious, as if to warn Taehyung. Jin knew that "Taehyung's atmosphere" could/would fluster Jimin and the entire team, and could become the subject of rumors spread by the staff that isn’t their own.
So no, Jin’s reaction wasn’t because he hates vmin or anything like that, because that’s not true on any level, but because Taehyung’s words about liking Jimin the most were perhaps too sincere for the setting they were in, raising too many brows, and that’s potentially why he reacted the way he did. After all, if you watch the 5th Muster concerts, and especially the one in Seoul, when vmin stand at the very end together, Jin approaches them and throws water at them as though to pull them out of their bubble and back into reality. All in good fun and because he simply cares a lot about them.
Also, an alternative and even more simple answer could be that Jin’s face has no relation to anything I just said and doesn’t tell us anything about what he thought about Taehyung’s words. After all in some interviews he also just sits there quietly and watches/listens to the other members and that doesn’t mean anything at all, or at least nothing negative. But since you asked for my thoughts, here they are, though they don’t have to be right.
I actually have no idea what the reactions are to this show in Korea and among the general public, but I've seen the reactions to Tae’s words across various sns, which one of the anons also mentioned so I’d like to talk about those for a moment as well.
My hair stood on end when I read some of the responses/posts about Taehyung. I never thought that people who call themselves ARMY or fans of BTS would have such opinions about any of the members. A wave of hatred literally flooded Taehyung, like Admin 1 previously mentioned in their answer to an ask.
I just wanted to cry. It shocked me how far shipping can go (literally playing with actual, living people with no regard to their own words and thoughts) that it can cause such extreme emotions in "fans". It's hard to say which is more negative and alarming for some, Taehyung potentially really having (romantic and reciprocated) feelings for Jimin, Taehyung's feelings not being for the “right” person, or the mere fact that Taehyung's feelings are for a person of the same gender.
It’s also interesting to see how deceptive some are. I don’t even mean that “Taehyung and Jimin like each other most” is ignored, which it is, but rather that those mutual feelings were manipulated to twist them into a completely different direction and to another person, or turned into mere jokes or sarcasm. As if all of this simply never happened.
On the other hand, the fact that Jungkook unbuttoned his shirt before going on stage for “My Time”, as opposed to him not doing so during rehearsals, has become very important and an example of J*k*ok being in a relationship, how that’s now even clearer than ever before and is an indisputable fact, according to shippers. Apparently, J*k*ok were flirting with each other throughout the entire segment and show and only had eyes for each other. Somehow Jungkook imitating Jimin is the final piece of evidence to prove everything shippers ever claimed and thus, according to them, everyone must now see that they love each other romantically.
I've carefully watched this show three times, this particular segment and everything else too, and frankly I haven't seen anything that could be called anything even close to flirting when it comes to the two main ML ships. I'm mature and I think I know what flirting is and I can “read” the simplest human behavior, but I really couldn’t see any of it. In my opinion, Jungkook imitating Jimin is clear and open and not a secret. I fully understand Jungkook, I would also follow Jimin in his place :-) Jimin's dancing and looks, as well as his professional work ethic, are truly breathtaking, inspiring and worth imitating. However, this has absolutely nothing to do with romantic affection or a romantic relationship between them, in my opinion.
Hence, I fail to understand these behaviors which in turn lead to a wave of hatred against Taehyung and the, repeated, disregard, belittlement and erasure of Jimin’s and Taehyung’s friendship and relationship bond, and even some going as far as pretending anything vmin was simply not there at all just to make their ship seem more real, booo.
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gallickingun · 3 years
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ding, dong, the witch is dead!
honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.
thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.
that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.
i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.
i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.
please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.
if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.
the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.
that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.
i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.
the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.
there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.
which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.
i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i’d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.
and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.
i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.
will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.
the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?
anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖
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