#this post is about me my dad sucks and im hot as fuck

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

feel free ignore this but i was just wondering when you started writing fics bc theyre all so amazing wtf???

ignore this sweet ask?? NEVER!!

so, to be completely honest, this is not the first time i've written and published fics!! though, i've NEVER received attention like this and it's so so nice!!

i've been writing little stories in my head for probs as long as i can remember. writing was just always something that i've done and i have distinct memories of crying to my mom about how hard it was sometimes when the words came out wrong or i struggled to spell them correctly. this would later be diagnosed as dyslexia but my mom made sure to get me the correct support i needed!! it still fucking sucks but whatevas lmao

also, my mom loved to write when she was in college!! and she was really good, too, but she gave it all up to marry my (stupid ass) dad and raise my sister and i. but that's a really sad story for another day.

BUT i wrote some crappy mcu fanfic on here when i was like 10?? really really bad i hadn't even seen all the movies when i wrote that i just thought bucky was hot lmao- (do not go looking for that shit i will cut you- i don't even know how you would find that but no! bad!)

then, during covid, i had a fever dream the night before christmas (deadass im not being funny) and started writing fanfic for...ugh i can't believe im gonna say this but it was sherlock lmao-

like...legit 12 books. each with like eight to nine chapters. it basically followed the plot of the show EXACTLY except for with the add in of my oc lmao. that's posted on wattpad (again. i will commit crimes to keep my name away from that shit lmao- i tried rereading it the other day and nearly died from cringe)

OH AND I WENT THROUGH A CRINGY ASS POETRY PHASE LMAO THOSE WERE BAD BAD- tbh might be willing to share them to strictly laugh at but idk where i would find it anymore bc i feel like ive scrubbed it off my phone-

all that to say, i've been doing crappy writing for a very long time, but this is the first time that i've actually felt really proud of my work. also, you're such a sweetheart to ask this and it was so fun to reply to!! i really do love yapping yall up!!

anyways, hope this made sense and i WILL find you if you so much as THINK about finding my old fics lmao-

#no but fr if yall find them i will legit be impressed #MORE than impressed #return to sender ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

#rimi talks #rambles #tim #like.... do u see the vision. there are emotions underneath here #but right now i have a migraine so its silly time first and foremost. Tim Hates That Fucking Guy #we've all known a Fucking Guy right? im pretty sure its a universal experience. #the stories i could tell about the Fucking Guy i knew. man.

[peaceloveandf1]

Soft Launch pt.3

part 1

part 2

part 4

part 5

part 6

summary: A month into the f1 winter break, y/n and Lance have been spending quality time in the US. Y/n is making her long awaited return to music after her divorce and she’s picked two songs to announce that it’s final.

pairing: Lance Stroll x Reader

Face claim: Taylor Swift

warnings: smut, oral seggs (f! receiving)

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yourusername posted a photo

liked by yourbestfriend, lance_stroll, atlanticrecords, sophiarichiegringe, and 8,620,100 others

yourusername we were something don’t you think so? Proud to announce my two new singles “The 1” and “Clean” are out now.

75,572 comments

atlanticrecords: so happy you’re back!!

yourbestfriend: so proud of how far you’ve come

yn1fan: HOLY HOLY SHIT IM READY

chloestroll: so excited for you 💗

enews: are you trying to tell us something bestie??

formulwon: Chloe commented and Lance liked🤨

^ WagsF1: okay and? They run in the same circle.

^formulwon: idk they both were posting at the same times……

peavceandlove: so sorry to hear about the divorce…I loved y’all 😔

………………………………………………………

enews posted a photo

enews It’s over. y/n l/n has confirmed in two new songs that her and nhl player Matt Boldy have not just separated but they have finalized their divorce. click the link in bio to read more

3,000 comments

HughesLuvr: wow. Actually heartbroken. I hope the baby is okay

ynandMatt1: mom and dad divorced😔

boldysgirlie: I bet she cheated… she’s been with a f1 driver

ynfan: I hope she’s doing so much better now

yns.style: albums boutta be fire

view more comments

……………………………………………………….

yourusername posted a photo

liked by oliviarodrigo, Versace, atlanticrecords, and 8,590,729 more

yourusername Daylight out right now.💗

comments are disabled

………………………………………

“Congratulations baby!” Lance said pecking me on the cheek at midnight. Bringing two pieces of cake out of the fridge as we lounged on the couch. “It’s only a matter of time until the tabloids put shit out though” I groaned laying my head against the arm rest. “That’s why you and Matt have already talked about it. He knows this is your job. You write songs. Fucking good ones I would like to add, but no way people think you’d release an album with songs about him without talking first.” He added pulling me up by my hands.

“Lance. I don’t know if you know but I love you” I smiled as he pulled me into a hug. “I think you may have said it once or twice” he laughed, “I love you too. I’m proud of you” he said, pulling me in for a kiss. Smirking, he whispered in my ear,“I think we should celebrate”, before pull me into a heated kiss the cake left forgotten on the coffee table.

“Babe I’m so fucking proud of you” Lance sighed, breaking the kiss and playing with the hem of my or his shirt. Hands grasping my waist, a sigh of relief escaping my mouth as Lance’s warm breath grazed my neck.

“Can we take this somewhere else?” I whispered as his lips connected to my neck, sucking softly.

“Thought you’d never ask. Jump” He said, pulling away from my neck and pulling me up, one hand in my hair, the other under my ass.

Reconnecting the kiss, Lance guided you two toward the bedroom. This wasn’t any regular kiss. It was different. Lance’s kisses ignited a fire in me, I felt giddy and burning with desire every time we were together. You would’ve thought the feeling would fade after the “honeymoon” stage but the desire is still prevalent. Every time we end up in bed together it’s new, it’s exhilarating, it’s fucking hot.

His lips attached to my neck as soon as we passed the threshold to my room, biting down and then soothing with his tongue. “Oh my god” I moaned out as he found the spot he knew I loved. I quickly covered my mouth to stop more moans escaping. “Let me hear you babe. Please”, Lance says kicking the door shut behind us.

Our clothes were ripped off in a whirlwind and thrown somewhere into the darkness as we backed up toward the bed. Lance’s hands found my skin, allowing a tiny whimper to slip past my lips as he brushed his palm against my breasts and then nipples.

“Oh my god Lance”, I groaned, grabbing his bicep, and sliding my hand to his thigh, making him take a sharp intake of breath. “I’ve been thinking about this since you left for London”, I moaned as his hand slipped down in between my legs, cupping the emerald green panties I wore.

“Fuck.” He grumbled, bending his head to leave open mouthed kisses across my abdomen, “I think about this so much”.

A gasp slipped from my mouth as he dropped to his knees, hands reaching the waist line of my panties and letting them pool at my ankles.

I shivered when I felt cool air hit my clit. “Don’t tease. Please”, I moaned, causing Lance to smirk up at me. His calloused fingers brushed against my inner thigh and I gasped as hit fingers finally slid in between my folds.

“You’re so fucking hot” Lance breathed from his spot between my legs. I gasped as his fingers finally pressed into my clit, while his tongue licked a stripe across my pussy.

“Oh god”, I practically yelled as his pace sped up, causing my hand to fly into his hair. More soft moans flew past my lips as he stroked you into a state of bliss. His tongue continued to hit the perfect spot as my thighs began to tense and moans got louder.

“Shit, babe I’m so close” I gasped as Lance continued his pace.

You knew that he could feel your muscles contracting and groaned, sending a wave of pleasure straight into your body.

“You gonna cum?” He asked, with a hit of cockiness in his voice and I continued to moan loudly.

“Yes, it feels so fucking good” I gasped as I felt myself come to the edge, expletives leaving my mouth. My legs began shaking, as my spine began to arch under his touch.

Lance groaned, wiping his mouth as he pulled away from me, smirking up at me before capturing me in a kiss. “Fuck that was hot” he whispered, “nice panties” he laughed before kissing me again.

I snickered as walking toward the bathroom. “I thought you’d like them.”

He stood there watching as I reached the door. “You coming?”, I asked him and to no surprised he followed, wrapping his hands around my waist.

“I love you”, he breathed out.

“I love you too.”

#daniel ricciardo x reader #carlos sainz x reader #aston martin f1 #f1 smut #lance stroll #lance stroll x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #formula one #charles leclerc smut #lance stroll smut

[dave-me0wstaine]

YOUR POST ABOUT BAD BOY!DAVE MADE ME FERAL... LIKE IK THE SHELTERED GIRL TROPE IS OVER USES BUT IMAGINE HIM GUIDING YOU THROUGH YOUR FIRST ORGASM AND BEING SO GENTAL WITH YOU... HIM MOUTHING YOU FROM OUTSIDE YOUR PRETTY PINK PANTIES TO GET YOU READY FOR HIM 🫶🫶🤭🤭🤭 HIM TAKING YOUR VIRGINITY IS SO HOT TO ME I NEED HELP. 🙏🙏🙏

honestly i love bad boy!dave and im so so happy that a lot of you guys seem to like it too!! like i lowkey want to flesh out a whole au about it omg.

this scenario though!!! dave would fucking ruin you for anyone else. he wouldn't want anyone else to touch you, and by god he's gonna fuck you so good you'll be forced to marry him just for the sex alone lmao. he's so obsessed with you.

i imagine he'd have snuck into your bedroom through your window, like he always does because your parents hate him (which makes him want to stay with you for the rest of his life even more, as a "fuck you" to them). and the two of you are sharing kisses, until things get a little more heated. you're whining underneath him, although for what, you're not exactly sure. all you know is that you feel something in between your legs. honestly, it's something that you feel a lot whenever dave is around, but you're too embarrassed to say anything about it.

dave, however, always knows whenever he's made you wet. you start whining, getting a little antsy, maybe trying to press yourself to him, and he thinks it's adorable. especially because he can tell that you're unaware of your actions. usually, he can hold off, take care of himself in the bathroom once you fall asleep, but tonight, he decides to make you his. he starts kissing down your neck, and pushes his warm hands up your pajama top.

"can i show you somethin, baby?" he asks between kisses. he pulls away to look you in your eyes, and you nod gently. he grins wolfishly, and starts trailing kisses down your stomach, leading toward your heat. as he gets closer and closer, you begin to squirm even more.

"be a good girl and stay still for me." he whispers, stilling your hips with his hands. he leans down and plants a kiss in-between your legs, right on top of the bow on your pink panties.

"lemme make you feel good, yeah?" he says, and begins mouthing kisses over your clothed cunt. eventually, your panties are soaked through, a combination of your arousal and his spit covering the material. he's barely touched you yet, and you're a whining mess. your whining turns into full-on moaning when he drags your panties to the side, and slowly inserts a finger into your cunt as he continues mouthing at your now exposed clit.

your fingers card through his hair, bunching it up in your hands as you squeal and moan, and dave, despite loving your reactions, pulls away from you momentarily. before you can whine about the loss of contact, he takes off his jacket and places it over your mouth.

"don't wanna wake up dear old mom and dad, huh baby? what would they think of you like this? squealin', all 'cause my tongue's on your pussy." he smirks as you hide your embarrassed face in his jacket. the embarrassment soon fades away though, as he picks up where he left off, slowly stretching out your cunt on his fingers and lapping at your clit with his tongue. it doesn't take long for your tummy to start feeling... funny. its something you've never felt before.

"d-davie, i feel f-funny," you stutter, the weird feeling only intensifying. instead of slowing down, like you thought he would, dave instead only speeds up his actions, sucking your clit harder and plunging his fingers in deeper. before you know it, you're cumming hard on his face and fingers. your brain is all fuzzed out, and as you're coming down from your high, you feel dave's weight on top of you. you look up at him, and his face is flushed, his lips are pink and swollen, and he's almost out of breath himself.

"i wanna make you do that again, on my cock this time, okay pretty girl? think you can handle that for me?"

#this scenario lowkey turned into a fic?? #but i regret nothing #ily bad boy! dave <33 #may or may not be my new dave hyperfixation #pls send in more asks about bad boy! dave #or alternatively dilf! dave #dave mustaine #dave mustaine smut #dave mustaine x reader #dave mustaine fanfiction #megadeth #megadeth x reader #megadeth smut #megadeth fanfiction #asks #bad boy! dave

[frogxxam]

game grumps fav quotes masterlist

this post will be compiling every quote that makes me brain go brr, the videos are not included bc i am lazy

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"It's Clifford the big red stab wound" - Dan

just the entire brain juice clip

"[As Monika] Shutting down" - Arin

arin saying "motherfucking" in the middle of a sentence and dan completing it with "jesse eisenberg"

the entire thruth seeker power washing episode

"(paraphrased)

Dan: Well it wouldnt have happened today cus I'm rocking that manbun because it's 180 degrees outside

Arin: Hmhum- 185

Dan: Yes- Oh yeah, I was thinking 180 because that's the angle that I took when I walked outside and was like 'nope'"

"Are you seriously? No! why? I'll miss you" - Dan as Arin is about to eat a disgusting mix of cheerios flavours

"I'm such a stupid moron why did I even born!" - Arin

"No, I was uh- lying." - Dan

"All these people… they want this cleaning dick!" - Arin

"Essentially the audio version of yassified by space bear" - Dan

"Arin: It's making my butthole quiver

Dan: That's my job!"

"Arin: It's BPA free!

Dan: Buplic bissplays of affection?"

"I've created the nipple forest!" - Dan

"You're bringing a new vessel for microplastics into the world" - Arin

"[talking about a guy who watched his family get sick]

Arin: To each his own man

Dan: What does that- that is not an appropriate time to use that-"

"Arin: Do you want to touch boobs with me?

Dan: I mean of course but I don't see what that has to do with anything going on right now"

"Ah Man! But I made so much far go process… wow" - Dan

"Oooh I feel on the toilet…" - Arin

"I am merely a vessel for God's soft serve chocolate ice cream" - Dan

"Arin! I'm a motherfucking starboy, and I don't need to listen to this!" - Dan

"I know! But doesn't- don't the people want the best of the world- hold on [laughs]" - Arin

"I've been hearing the term 'serving c word' lately, I don't fully know what it means" - Dan

"DID I MAKE THE BEEFY TEA?" - Dan

"THATS ARIN IM DAN THERE IS NO GOD THIS IS SONIC HEROES" - Dan

"[Quoting Arin] Sonic Heroes: Life can't always be good!" - Dan

"[Talking about being secretly in love with Sonic] I'm like god! I show my love in mysterious ways!" - Arin

"PUT DOWN THE PHONE, AND FUCKING GAME GRUMPS!" - Arin

"Cheetahs have stripes that go in a circle" - Arin

"Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?" - Arin

"Show me your Math Dick, I wanna suck it" - Arin to Dan

"There's gotta be religion to the fact that God hates me!" - Dan, after losing a turn in Wheel of Fortune

"Arin: What's up Princey-Paysas!

Dan: How you doin' Pooplers! We're play- we're playing Pooplers."

"Arin: I'm a toilet boy. I'm a toilet boy.

Dan: [in the starboy mellody] I'm a motherfucking toilet boy~"

"Arin: I can't believe you! The power that you possess within that intestinal tract

Dan: Thanks, god- if only it were this easy in real life"

"[About Weird Al]

Dan: But, like, it's okay uh- we're still buds, and he sends us Christmas cards every now and then

Arin: That's true- Every now and then? Every Christmas!

Dan: Christmas, mostly. Yeah."

"You're sawd?! I'm the one who has to move the sticks around! You just get to hang out on bed! I'm over here moving buttons!" - Arin

"Let's fucking go-varies!" - Dan

"You know, all it takes to make a dungeon into a sex dungeon is a little bit of planning" - Brian

"That cake is sus" - Dan

"Theres not a dry spot on my pants anymore" - Arin

"You know what I call my beard? A chin-chilla" - Arin

"Dan: Uhm- Some times you just like- Drive things home, by like, sort of finding another way say the same thing you know what I mean?

Arin: Yea

Dan: Like- Man this place is full of guys I'd like to fuck and Your Dad!"

"I would marry cheese if I could" - Arin

"Cut my life in two cheeks" - Dan

"Arin: Can you hear the baby kicking?

Dan: The ass baby?"

"Oh my god he's hot again" - Arin, about Ganon

"[Beat boxing] Fourgive me, fivegive me" - Arin

#txt #game grumps #- matt #reposting since the other account got lost

[sketchzecri]

Tell me Abt choco pretty please. R they a cereal mascot

Worse.

Choco is a very pathetic sopping wet cat of a man (ive comissioned molty for him twice!! :3)

Literally where do i begin.

So. Necromancy in my world is very complicated magic. And verrry forbidden because instead of just making a corpse move it drags their spirit back to their body repairing the damage if done right. But thats HARD to do. Like super duper hard. In fact, the only way to consistently and effortlessly revive people like that is to have it in your bloodline.

Obviously this kind of magic is scary and weird. So it becomes punishable by death, (some places killing you just for having that magic in you at all. Fucked up)

But they never caught my girl FREYJA AYYYYYYYYYYY

Freyja is Choco's mom. She escaped the law by leaving the city walls and living in the woods :3 She has Choco first then later Cloud. Both of them inheriting her magic. (They also have a skeleton cat named Keke but shes largely there to be cute)

One day, while fucking around in the forest, our young Choco runs into Kaveah, who had ran away to explore the woods. After freaking out about seeing another person, the two hit it off quite well! Choco shows Freyja his new friend and Freyja is like what the fuck that is literally the princess what. Kaveah promises to not tell anyone because she would also get in heeps of trouble for sneaking out.

Womp womp her dad finds out

And he is FREAKING OUT.

Mars has like. A whole onion of issues but tldr he freaks, attacks their family, kaveah defends them, she loses her eye in the process oopsies

After calming down (and realizing he just nearly killed his daughter oops) he stops sucking and is like you know what you mean a lot to my daughter and youve cared for her so much so for as long as i remain king i will keep you and your family safe (to freyja) and they cool now

Womp womp fire

So remember how i mentioned cloud? Yeah that's choco's dipshit brother from hell. He lights the cabin on fire with the intent of killing Freyja and Choco (he's like. Maybe 7 here i think i cant remember.) But dumbass gets HIMSELF killed instead! And freyja

Choco gets out of there

And my boy is NOT doing too hot pun unintended

From then on he lives in the palace with Kaveah then they grow up get married yadda yadda have a son hisbname is Taffy (picked it out himself (hes trans))

So heres where it gets messy. Im not gonna try to come up with anything on the spot but Taffy gets impossibly sick so he calls upon a spirit of some kind to fix him it works YAY

Something happens so he goes to do it again but GUESS WHO ITS CLOUD BITCH KABLAMO and so cloud switches places with Choco. Stealing his body and sending Choco to afterlife hell (its not really hell its complicated not gonna talk abt it here)

And thats kinda it for choco. Theres a few plotpoints that he helps in with other characters but in terms of big events thats it.

There is something here about multiverse travel but thats post-story fluff and roleplay physics

#sorry this is REALLY messy these characters have existed for literal years so their lore is all over the place. #this like. set of oc universe is mostly having fun and playing with dolls. #artificial intuition is more solid in its lore but BARELY silly #sorry chat this isnt going under a readmore you followed the alt blog theres no structure here

[laylaisthename]

you know im down bad when im actually posting my fics on tumblr.

-

Lincoln McQuoid/M!MC || SFW || 3900 words :pensive: ||

Fic about two guys with terrible birthday experiences that are trying to do better. Set in a theoretical time after everything's been resolved. Timeline doesnt exactly match up since we're probably like a week away in game from Linc’s birthday but uuuh just pretend ok.

tw; mentions of under (american) age drinking (idk im european and he's 18 so its fine to me) 

"Lincooooln." Horus calls lazily from the couch.

"What?"

"You know what day it is?"

Lincoln pads into the living room, his eyes narrowing at Horus. "The day the Elric brothers set their house on fire?"

Horus snorts, "Of course you would say that you weeb. Aaaand...what else is today?"

Lincoln sighs. "Who told you?"

"I'll let you take one guess at who'd be texting me about your well-being."

He buries his face in his hands and lets out another deep, soul-weary sigh.

"Abel says to tell you 'happy birthday' and to make sure that, quote 'he doesn't spend the whole day moping around his apartment alone watching daytime tv and getting drunk.' unquote. Ouch. You really spend your birthdays like that?"

There's a thoughtful frown on Lincoln's face, a look that Horus knows a little too well by now. He opens his arms invitingly, and a small smile plays on Lincoln's lips as he moves to join him on the couch, resting against his chest.

"Bad birthday memories?" Horus asks.

"Melancholic ones. I told you what happened on my seventh birthday. My mom still tried after that but it just... hasn't been the same since. And then I lost touch with Abel, and she..." his words trail off. 

Horus' voice is quiet when he responds. "I know. I'm sorry." 

Unsure of what else to say he simply wraps Lincoln in his arms. Instinctively Horus' eyes flicker to the empty spot on the wall where Silvia's portrait used to hang, a pang of guilt lancing through his heart. He must have apologized a thousand and one times already, but it still never felt like enough. Sometimes he catches Linc glancing over too, expecting it to still be there- for her to still be there. 

His thumb subconsciously moves to twist at his mother's ring. It was a feeling he knew well. 

"Okay I'm gonna be real depressing here," he starts, "but stay with me on this. Every year on my birthday my dad used to take us to this nice Egyptian restaurant. I'd get baklava and chocolate cake and some damn good chicken and then we'd go home and watch any movie of my choice, so we'd usually end up watching A New Hope again."

"And you're calling me a weeb? Nerd."

"Shut up, I'm being genuine here for once in my fucking life. Anyway. Point is. We'd get dinner, watch a movie together, I got some gifts, and it was the best day I could wish for. Then after... everything happened, Amalia and her parents took me out somewhere." He takes a moment to gather himself. Talking about the past five years was still hard at times, actually telling the truth of his hurt rather than lie and say he was fine. "I spent my eighteenth birthday crying my eyes out on the floor of a restaurant bathroom. Told Lia I got food poisoning, but I knew she didn't buy it. Next birthday was barely any better. Amalia was off to college by then, so me and my new best friend 'Fake ID' hit up every bar in town for a free drink for the birthday boy. I vaguely remember making out with some hot girl in a bathroom stall, but mostly I just remember feeling incredibly alone. And, well, nauseous."

"Is this story going anywhere or are you rambling?"

"Right. I'm trying to be profound. Well, tl;dr, birthdays sucked. At 20 I ignored my birthday and 21 I got shitfaced again, but this time legally. Then this year I happened to find myself in the area after a hunt. So I walked into that Egyptian restaurant, I got myself dinner and some baklava, found the nearest movie theater and watched, uh," he falls quiet for a moment, thinking hard, "I don't remember the movie's name, it was pretty forgettable I'll be honest. But it was the best day I'd had in longer than I'd like to admit. Whenever I closed my eyes I could almost feel my family sitting next to me. My dad's lame jokes, my mom's laughter. Annie stealing food off my plate when she thought I wasn't looking..." Horus is quiet for a moment. "Sorry, I'm making it about me again."

Lincoln turns over in his arms to face him. "It's alright. Honor their memory instead of burying it deep, right?"

"Yeah. But, if you do wanne just laze around all day and watch shitty movies I'm down for that too." he tightens his arms around him a little. 

Lincoln hums, lying his head back down on Horus' chest, and he wonders if Lincoln could hear how his heart raced. Neither of them would spend another birthday alone if he had any say in it. They lay there a little while longer in comforting quiet.

Lincoln rouses after a while, quieting Horus' whine with an achingly sweet kiss as he heaves himself off the couch. "I think I know what I want to do today."

***

Their first stop was Westchester Elementary. Lincoln hadn't told Horus what exactly they'd be up to, wanting it to be a surprise. It was a warm autumn day, the warmth of summer not quite gone yet. 

The sounds of children playing outside  accompanied by a quiet ambiance of rustling leaves and birds' song. It was strange how nice Westchester could be when horrible men and creatures weren't actively terrorizing it. 

"So, this is where baby Linc took his first steps into becoming a menace to society?" 

He rolls his eyes, but smiles regardless, "You know Russ, I don't actually know much about what you were like as a kid." 

"Me? A model student once they got me to stop cutting up my clothes." 

"That's what I thought." he holds out his hand, and by now it's second nature for Horus to grasp it as they walk along. Lincoln leads them to the side of the building, stopping before they round the corner. 

"Close your eyes for me?" 

For me.

The gentleness in Linc's voice over shadows any dirty jokes in Horus' mind. He simply smiles, "Alright." letting Lincoln lead him a little further away with his eyes closed. 

He stops Horus, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around. 

"Okay, now, open your eyes." 

So he does. And before him, Horus sees something that was-

A stunningly painted mural adorned the old plaster, a deep indigo blue of a night sky, swirling into the yellows and pinks of dawn. Against that backdrop was the silhouette of a woman, leading a chain of children of different ages toward the light of a new day under a bright shining star. More stars dotted the dark sky, painted in such a way that they almost seem to shimmer in the sunlight. Among them Horus managed to recognize a few constellations; the Scales of Libra, Aries the Ram, the Eagle Aquila, the Archer Orion-

His eyes flit to Lincoln, who in turn is watching him with searching eyes and a kind smile. 

"It's gorgeous." Horus says after another breath. It was hard to put into words, but it felt as if a hopeful wish had been put into every brushstroke. 

Having apparently found what he was looking for, Lincoln turns to the mural. "My mother painted this. She told me she started the first draft a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant. The actual mural didn't go up until I enrolled here, and I got special permission to 'help' her out during recess." 

They walk up close, where painted in white, surprisingly neat, yet childish letters;

LINCOLN & 

and then in a beautiful curling script;

Silvia McQuoid

Lincoln traces his fingers along the letters, closing his eyes, a smile painting his lips. 

"There's more murals like these all around town. She'd always say this was her way of giving back a little kindness into the world. Something to inspire people." his eyes open again, looking up at the silhouette. "A couple were painted before I was born, but I loved coming along whenever I could. She always insisted that even if I just painted a single line, that I'd put my name up next to hers."

"She sounds awesome, wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you, I'm sure of it." 

Horus laughs, "Ha! You're just saying that because I'm your boyfriend." 

Lincoln bumps his shoulder, "I mean it, Russ. Someone so full of life like you? She'd be making wedding plans after our first date." 

Horus was not a shy or bashful man by a long shot, so the blush creeping up to his ears and the sudden stutter in his throat caught him off guard. His eyes flick over to Lincoln, who also seems to realize what he'd said with a start. He didn't want to read into it too much, his racing mind already looking for a way to change the topic, but a small voice in the back of his head tells him that if Lincoln had asked him right here, right now, that he would not mind at all. But then a suitable deflection comes to mind, blurted out a little too tense, a little too fast. 

"I already promised to take you out for dinner today, no need to butter me up."

"Maybe I'm hoping to get free dessert too." 

"I dunno, you find me a dark and quiet corner and I can get right on that if you're so impatient." 

"At an elementary school? Really?" 

"Ah, you're right. So are we going to your highschool next? Behind the bleachers maybe." 

Lincoln laughs again, "Speaking of dinner, there's a few more murals I wanted to show you. Come on." Linc turns to head back to the motorcycle. 

It was like a light bulb flickering to life over Horus' head as he realized exactly what he would get Lincoln for his birthday. He pulls out his phone, sending out a dozen texts as they walk, nearly missing the helmet Linc tosses him. 

The last message is off and confirmed by the time they reach the second mural, and hours blur by as they ride all over Westchester. Every painting is somehow more gorgeous than the last, accompanied by anecdotes from Lincoln about inspirations, color choices, meanings. It was something incredibly dear to his heart, anyone could tell. 

Horus steps up close to Lincoln, leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Sharing this with me. But," he reaches his hand into Linc's back pocket, pulling out the motor keys, "I have a surprise for you too." 

Lincoln raises a brow, but doesn't make to grab for the keys. "Where are we going exactly?" 

"Ah-ah, wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you. But it's close by, I promise."

***

It's a short drive over. Horus parks the motor out on the side of the road, walking ahead down an alleyway to the back. 

And as his friends had promised, strewn around a blank wall was everything needed to paint a mural of their own. 

Brushes in all sizes, a dozen different colors of paint, lights that illuminated a smooth, blank canvas waiting to be filled. Off to the side lay a cooler filled with drinks, and a bag full of takeout food. 

"But how…?"

Horus counts it off on his fingers, "Had Connor call in some favors at city hall for the permit, Lia brought the food, Joss got us drinks, Dee and Noah took care of the supplies, aaand," Horus lets out a sharp whistle, and Abel appears from around the corner carrying a cake, followed by the rest of their merry little gang. A chorus of "Happy birthday, Lincoln." rises from the group. Joss rolls her eyes. 

"I'm just here for the cake." she nods her head toward Abel. 

Linc's eyes grow wide."Is that…?" 

"My mom's recipe? Yeah, I promised, didn't I?" 

Horus pulls a lighter from his pocket, lighting the candles. 

"Happy birthday to you." Abel starts, and Horus, Amalia, Connor and Dee are quick to join in, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lincoln, happy birthday to youuu." 

The look in Lincoln's eyes is part horrified, part touched and wholly embarrassed as the song comes to an end. 

"C'mon make a wish." 

Lincoln walks up and thinks for a moment, and if Horus wasn't head over heels before, then the way that the candlelight flickered in Linc's eyes surely would have done the trick now. The moment passes as he closes his eyes, blowing out the candles in one big breath. 

"Let's see if this cake lives up to the hype." Noah walks up, knife in hand, offering it to Lincoln to cut the first piece. 

Abel looks offended, "You doubt my baking skills?" 

"Cut him some slack," Connor says, "being a ghost for a few years made him forget his manners." 

Noah just shrugs, taking back the knife to cut up pieces for the rest as Lincoln takes the first one. 

The silence is broken by an incredibly inappropriate moan from Lincoln that almost sets something off in Horus. But that would have to wait until he had him all to himself.

"Just as good as you remember?" Abel says, unable to keep a large, goofy grin off his face. 

"Better somehow." he takes another large bite. 

Horus is handed a piece next and wastes no time shoving a large piece into his mouth. "Oh shit, this is good." Agreements ring out as everyone digs in. Their impromptu party is however quite short lived.

"As much as I wish I could stay," Abel says, "I was in the middle of grading papers that I really need to finish by tomorrow."

 Amalia pipes up, "I should go too, I got a long drive ahead to get back in time for my lectures tomorrow if I want to get any sleep. Cake was totally worth it, though." 

Connor walks up to Dee and Noah, slinging his arms around their shoulders. "The three of us promised Harper we'd stop by tonight to check something out, so we should get going too." 

Jocelyn grabs another bite off the last slice of cake. "And I'm not hanging around to play third wheel to these two, so bye."

Horus waves her off. "Good night, Joss." 

"Night, Red. Keep the old man’s spine intact.”

“Old man? I’m not even 30 yet.” Lincoln replies.

“I make no promises about his ability to walk tomorrow.”

Jocelyn grins, “Nice.” and heads off.

Abel hangs back for a moment, watching the others leave. He walks over to Lincoln, whose eyes still betray his feelings of guilt. Apologies were exchanged a while ago, but Horus could tell that Lincoln still had a hard time letting go of the hurt he caused. 

"Abel, I-" but his words are cut off as Abel envelopes him in a hug. Lincoln hesitates for a moment, before hugging him back. 

Abel lets him go, a kind smile on his face. "Happy birthday, old friend." he turns to Horus, giving him a nod, and Horus nods back. 

And just like that it was only the two of them left again. Horus polishes the last crumbs off his plate, quietly thanking Abel and his mother for what was maybe the best cake he'd had, ever. 

Lincoln walks up and hugs him tightly, burying his face in Russ' neck. And now it was Horus' turn to stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before he returns the gesture. 

"Thank you," the words are a quiet murmur against the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." 

"No, I liked spending the day with you. You doing this for me? I love it. I-" he hesitates on the word. Lincoln pulls back a bit, cupping Russ' face in his hands. "It means a lot to me. I just don't know what to paint." 

He pulls him in for a kiss, short and sweet. But being pressed up against Lincoln's back all day on the motorcycle has left Horus with a desire for something more than that. He walks Lincoln backwards until his back hits the empty plaster wall, nearly tripping over a bucket of paint in his haste. He opens his mouth, and it was delicious, both of them still tasting of whipped cream and cake. 

Lincoln flips them, so Russ' back is now to the wall and pulls back. A groan escapes him as he leans forward after Lincoln, 

"Don't move." he places another kiss along his jaw. 

"Hm?" 

"I just figured out what I want to paint."

Horus stood there, chest heaving, pupils blown wide. "You're just going to leave me like this?" 

He laughs, a bright and joyful sound, "I didn't exactly bring lube along." 

"I'll run to the corner store and make the most suspicious purchase of my fucking life, I'll even throw in some roses, don't test me."

Lincoln comes back with a bucket of paint and brush in hand. "You can do whatever you want to me back at my apartment. Just keep still." 

He opens the can, a deep blue, and gets to work tracing an outline around Horus, lingering around his hands, leaving kisses as he goes along. Up his arm, over his shoulder, a kiss under his ear. 

"You're making it very hard to stand still, you know." 

"Better keep at it. Don't want to get paint in your hair- hold out your hand a little."

Horus does as asked, moving as little as possible, as Lincoln traces the paint over his head and down his right side. 

Lincoln steps back, admiring his handiwork- or maybe admiring Horus. With the way his eyes darted around it was hard to tell. He turns, reaching for a new brush and another can of bright red paint. It doesn't escape Russ that it's the same shade as the color of his hair. Lincoln holds them out for him to take. 

Horus shakes his head "I'm not much of an artist."

"Just the rough outline, I'll take care of the details." Lincoln stands with his back against the wall, hand overlapping with the silhouette of Horus beside him. 

"Alright, fine. For the birthday boy." 

Horus then realized that he probably had not held a paintbrush in his hands in a decade, if not more. He wasn't nervous per se, but still very cautiously went to work, part of him afraid to mess it all up. He kneels down to get started by Lincoln's legs. The red paint stands in stark contrast against the gray wall, overflow dripping down, and suddenly Horus freezes. 

His hands shake, breath catching in his throat, whole body tense and ready to spring. Blood dripping down the brush, out of a creature's mouth, covering his hands his eyes seeping into his chest the ground thick in the air-

A hand clamps on his arm and distantly his name reaches his ears -"Russ!"- his father telling him to run, Annie calling after him- he tries to pull away, hand balling into a fist so tight that his knuckles ran white, nails digging into his palm, fight or flight instincts setting in and he was afraid and wanted to, no had to fight there was no one else left-

"Horus!" Lincoln's hands frame his face, forcing him to look into his eyes. 

"I'm-" the word comes out as a ragged breath. Adrenaline ebbs out, his heart still racing at a thousand miles a minute, but he was back in the here and now at least. Realizing what had just happened, Horus slaps on his trademark grin, the gesture not quite reaching his eyes. "I'll get lost in your eyes like this." 

"You're shaking." 

His hands still tremble a bit as he pries himself loose, "Low blood sugar, you know how it is. Maybe we should eat some of the take-out before it goes completely cold." he drops the brush back into the bucket, avoiding looking at it too closely. 

"Horus-"

"There's one with chicken and one with beef, which do you want?"

Lincoln wraps himself around him from behind, plucking the beef noodles from the bag. "Talk to me, Russ. You were gone for a moment there." 

Horus hops up onto a crate, opening his food up, his voice quiet, but finding its confidence as he talks. "Ugh. It doesn't usually happen, red is my favorite color, and I've seen worse whenever I need to dye my hair again- seriously makes my bathroom look like someone died there." he lets out a breath, combing his fingers through his hair, "but, I guess the paint just… took me off guard. I'll be fine after I eat something." 

Lincoln sits next to him, frowning, 

"I should have realized-" 

"Don't. Don't start pitying me or, fuckin' saying its your fault. We were just making such good progress in getting you to stop blaming everything on yourself-" 

"That's not true," Linc says matter-of-fact, "I blame plenty on Matthias." 

Horus laughs. "True. But, yeah. I don't want my little episode to ruin this. I won't let it." He nods over, gesturing for Lincoln to go stand at the wall once they're done eating. 

His hand still shakes a little as he traces the outline around him, but everything was further from Horus' mind now. Focus on the motions, focus on his warmth, his voice-

"Look at that. You're a natural." Lincoln says as he draws the final line, vaguely linking the hands of the silhouettes together. 

"Are you gonna start pulling out gold stars next, or what?" He grabs himself a soda from the cooler, and a beer for Lincoln,

"Is that something I'll need to keep in mind?" 

"Everyone likes being told they're doing a good job, no? Don't worry about the drinking by the way, I'll drive us back." 

"Sure, but if I start lamenting about Naruto, cut me off." 

"No, please tell me more about how Naruto and that black haired guy were totally in love." 

"Oh, like you're any better about your space movies." 

"I just have a lot of feelings about the Clones, okay!" 

Conversation flows and time flies as Horus watches Lincoln get to work. It was mesmerizing to see how the piece came together, stroke by stroke; two silhouettes, hand in hand with a ribbon tying their hands together. Horus' figure set in a royal blue, Lincoln framed by an explosive red, the tie that binds them red on one side, blue on the other. The message rang clear; I’m a part of you, you’re a part of me.

"Now all that's left," Lincoln cracks open a black can of paint, dipping in a smaller brush. "is signing it."

He signs his name in beautiful curling letters;

Lincoln & 

Before holding out the brush to Horus, who glady, if a bit messily, adds his name underneath;

Horus Asar

#ilw #it lives within #its MY blog and i get to be cringe #lincoln mcquoid #fic for once not art #back to my natural habitat (making up little scenes in my head) #no clue what etiquette is on tumblr for posting fics i never do it #that shit either goes on ao3 or forever lives in my google drive

[viv-is-dumb]

so idk who to talk to about this or if i’m even in the right but i’m gonna talk about it anyways because i hate it. This is a long vent post in which i complain about my gfs family and a specific situation.

I live with my girlfriends family. I fear that i’m not grateful enough of the way they took me in…but her mom is a bitch. Her dad is a creep (arrested twice for having cp. He was bailed out this last time and the first time there was no evidence to prove the person in the footage he had was a child) and her brother is fun unless he’s around EITHER of them. He acts like a cringey millennial who mistreats his animals because it’s funny on the internet. I don’t like any of them and i think i should be more grateful but i just can’t. Her mom is AWFUL to be around, she has the aura that basically tells you she doesn’t want you there and I know for a fact that she doesn’t like me. She also acts different when her fucking husband is home. They also have the view that “oh if you work you don’t have to do the dishes” so nobody does the dishes because EVERYONE WORKS. They have no ingredients in the house because they all are out all the time so if before i got a job I had to eat the scraps they left here. Frankly they are abusive but it’s not as bad as my family so i think i should be thankful they put a roof over my head and food in my stomach but that’s really hard when that’s the BARE MINIMUM! They also took me on vacation (they didn’t have to) so i feel like i’m being stupid and ungrateful. Regardless, The reason i’m making this post is because the mom came in and was like “we gotta stop turning the ac fan on all the time and leave it on auto” which like…yeah. I get that. Whatever. She was a bitch about it. The reason it was any kind of argument because I COPIED HER TONE!!! I literally just copied what she was giving me. It gets so hot in my gfs room that if they were in it they’d refuse to stay in it. This should not have pissed me off so bad but it did because of her tone. She doesn’t treat me like i’m human most of the time. It pisses me off so bad and i can’t wait to move away and for both me and my gf to cut her and her stupid fucking husband off. She IMMEDIATELY called her husband and complained so he called me and was like “yeah she was mad anyways here’s what you can do to fix it” but the issue there is that I KNOW WHAT TO DO TO FIX IT!!! HE TREATS ME LIKE IM DUMB!!!! I’m not just sitting in this room with all fans off. Im not fucking stupid contrary to popular belief. Anyways i’ll suck it up and be fine tomorrow.

#vent #vent tag #self centered

[dontcrybecauseitsoverr]

update

Im about to graduate omggg, as usual, no one knows about this tumblr in my life, so that’s cool. Kaylee can know idc lol. But, somethings in  my life just don’t add up. I have a gf who I do love, and adore and all of this, but man our communication sucks, on her end, she just doesn’t text me or snap me for hours sometimes… for no reason lol, but snap score goes up but she doesn’t reply? Hurts a bit, I don’t feel like a priority in her life, she isn’t open with me about things, I have to fight to get answers out of her, and she just doesn’t tell me stuff. We’ve been dating for 5 months! Like what! Lol! I just don’t get it.so like what do i do...were not going to see each other for the entire summer. this is my longest relationship, as yall know they dont go too hot lololol. so many posts on here about gf’s and shit, i would be ruined if anyone found this, but this name is not associated to anything else of mine, unless someone like reverse searched the image, who knows. this is just my thoughts as they are thought of on paper, im sitting here listening to taylor swift, deciding about big things in my life. im going to maine for the summer month and a half or so, either i can have all the sex up there with my ex, a threesome, my bff cas who ive all fucked before lol, so thats funny. BUT, 3 months without her :L i wont even be able to see her at allll her dads a dick. i swear to god if we aren’t able to FT like 1-2 times a week, that is really gonna take a hit. theres no reason to not be able to ft me with airpods in, and all this shit, like come onnnnn do u really not want to talk to me. i just feel like this is going to end up in a text break up, i really dont want it. but shes stuck with me and my quirks and issues for 5 months! thats a long time! so who knows, i want it to work but it just may get so unberable at some point, im gona talk with her tho at least. also i just was reading up about how the brain processes near death experiences, and how wack the gamma rays are or something. and i recalled the time in senior year, when my friend was driving and making a turn into school across a busy road. (two years later a family of 4 got killed in the crash, actually by someone i knew in the dmv auto club, he went to jail, my friends and i did the math on the car crash - guy was going 125 mph when he hit them. 1 girl survived out of the family of 4. terrible) but, a car was really going fast coming towards us, and i thought it was gonna clip us, and i was in the backseat, i swear i had a marvel intro style play in front of my eyes, just flashing through life events, i couldnt even see the car coming per say, just the images that i cared about most in my life. and then we passed...and it was like nothing happened. this got off topic, but so do all my other posts. i just dont know what to do. she failed out of her student teaching this semester, and i felt i was at cause, but i dont think so. she said her mom was very upset with her, after the school stuff, and failing the driving test. but all she does all day is sit and watch tvvvvvv mannnnnn, ive tried so hard to get her to do things, and be productive and get her out of the dorm because i know what that life is like, failing out, and having no prospect, because ive been there so many times. ive been to 4 colleges! and she just doesn’t want to involve me, or just seems like she cares about me. i want it to work, i mean god, what breaking up for a month and a half just for a crazy sex summer? seems like an issue to meee lolol. not really looking forward to maine, but gotta do whatcha gotta do. fucking hell i graduate in 10 days what the hell its taken so many years im just numb to it i feel, everyone else cares way more than i do, and its gonna be a shame to try and express happiness and joy when im more just like thank god lol. anyway thats my late night talk i guess, lol goodnight?

[lettersformiah]

9:19am, 8 aug

hi bubsy <3 i love you so much im in english right now and it so fucking boring. like we are just filling in the table of language features n shit and i do not care at all. mrs wilson didnt call my name on the roll so i hope she at least marked me present. but i hate her and i hate this class. thankfully only like 2 more terms of it to go ^-^ omgosh i just thought of it! today si the day you get your flowers >:] which means i cant upload this letter until after you get them and text me about them so i dont spoil the surprise! but yeah hehehe >:D i got some flowers sent to u bc obvs i cant cant get you any and i think you deserve some <3 im so sorry we havent been spending that much time together, its so fucking hard online bc i am so tired after work and dance and even just plain school and then when you are busy we cant call until late and by then im already so sleepy. i am very very sorry its so fucking hard recently but i still enjoy just sitting with you when i can. youre very very very lovely and i hope the flowers make u happy <3 mwahmwhawmahwmhamh other than that! i have a headache! but i get to hang out with kealan for a bit after school and chat so that will be nice bc i havent talked to him for like a few weeks? like properly talked ig? yesterday was mainly maya and leo chatting so i havent really hear about his life in a hot minute. thatll be fun. unless its raining then it absolutely wont be. oh! my dad is sick :( was a bit ill yesterday but this morning was even worse and didnt go to work. poor fella. i hope he feels better soon but at the very least i hope he doesnt give it to me bc as much as i hate it i do actually want to make it to gisborne this weekend. omg! my bday is saturday. so fucking weird. im gonna be old :D and our 6 month is tomorrow!! so the flowers are also for that, even though that wasnt at all what my intention for them was. they are bday flowers, anniversary flowers, and simply flowers because i love you. :D ! hehehe i love you soso smuch babba. i still have half an hour of this fuckin class left and my head achy and shit :( but ignoring that, the rest of my day will be all good and im excited to judt get home and eat bro. like i want a munch on the risotto and my chocolate and i want to talk to you. and then i have to deal with dance which will suck but this week i gotta actually go both days and im gonna try my best to enjoy it and be okay :D okok im gonna text u and tell u i wrote a letter so that u can remind me to post it after school. i love you!

i lub u so much and ur so so pretty and i cant wait to be able to give u a lil kiss on the cheek while ur sleepin cause ur sosos cute hehehhe >:D okok talk soon talk soon please wake up soon its unbearable without u <3 mwahwmahmwahmwah

-mads<3

#letters

[crimsun-n-clover]

i graduated recently. forgot to post about that.

not really much of a difference.

my parents have been off work for christmas which has sucked major ass. i’ve been sleeping until 5 just so i don’t have to leave my room and interact with them. the amount of times i almost started crying randomly today?? fucking pathetic. i REALLY hate christmas man.

met a hot girl at the record store on saturday. she has my insta now and i wished her a happy birthday so i’m winning at hot people social interaction.

maggie stayed over one night this week and we both sobbed our fucking eyes out watching mamma mia. what happened was she has never seen it, and the previous week my parents were gone for the evening so i got tipsy and watched it (bc i was gonna audition for donna in a local production and also it’s a good fucking movie) and bitched to her that slipping through my fingers SHREDDED ME. and then when she agreed to spend the night when my parents were away AGAIN we both cried during that scene. it wasn’t as bad sober.

i applied for a freelance captioning gig so i can do it from my computer without my parents knowing. i finished my application today and only had to lie a little bit.

mom and dad got me a new car for christmas. i don’t want a new car. i’ll take it, but it was upsetting to have them not listen to me. “what’s your dream car?” “my car” because i LOVE my car. charlie, maggie, daisy, mickey, and i all say that she has a personality and opinions. i can tell when she doesn’t like the music because the air conditioner stops working. i can tell when she’s upset because the engine sputters. i can tell when she’s happy because the acceleration is smooth and quick. i talk to her and treat her like a friend, because she IS. when i was making emergency plans, almost all of them involved hiding out and living in my car. i survived a bad accident in my car and rebuilt her. she gets me away from my parents. she’s my baby. she’s past her engine’s expected life span but i love her and she loves me. there are all sorts of little tricks to make things work, and that makes it a hostile environment for my parents which is FANTASTIC. they don’t feel welcome in my car.

and one day my parents drag me out of bed and there’s two of the same car in the driveway. because i didn’t want a new car, they got me the SAME car with less miles on it, leather seats instead of fabric, no accidents, all that shit. i don’t understand how someone can miss the point so hard. “i don’t want a new car” “okay so we’ll get you the same car with slight upgrades and spend several thousand dollars on it because WE think your car is cheap and shitty and we don’t care what you think”

i wish they just let me have the money for a down payment on a trailer. it’s not like i’m ungrateful, i just don’t understand. the new car keeps needing parts and they’re all upset that they can’t get rid of MY car faster.

whatever. i know it’s a strange thing to complain about, but it summarizes my parents.

“i like this thing and it makes me happy and comfortable” “we may have lived through poverty and addiction and other things that people look down on us for but we’re still judgmental assholes and think it’s cheap or weird or some other thing because we’re old conservatives” “that’s ridiculous why would you say that” “i don’t KNOW stevie we can never WIN WITH YOU you’ll understand when you’re OLDER and also KEEPING UP APPEARANCES RAHHH IM FUCKING RACIST”

[cheenischrist]

the thing about being a top (-leaning switch lmao) is that shit is so hot to me until it isn't. like so many posts are the kind of fucked up shit --like 'when dad oughh in my butt hole and i yell but he wont stop and then he ouuhhh' - and im like yeah.yeah he does. but then another post will be like don't you just love being on your knees for him being subservient while he pets ur lil head and calls u cute puppy and im FUCK no! get that gay shit outta here

if he doesn't want to wrestle for my hole he clearly doesn't want it tbh. side note my date the other night kept sucking on me & wouldn't stop when i tried to push them away i had to literally fight to get them off my dick & tits. I was like ohh no ur right...i actually do want it. teehee

#blushes soso masculine and handsome #no but fr im dad and i wont stop B) #text #if ur a cute puppy ur valid btw

[pikawarrior]

Welp welcome back to my random rambles im just gonna talk bout alot of random stuff mainly my stories so here for go lets hope this is understandable

Story/maybe comic stuff

Turning of the orange | The Strawberry Patch - Old soon to be remade/written stop motion strawberry shortcake zombie movie me and my dad were making when i was in elementary schoolish. We unfortunately didnt make it that far since he had to leave often and for long times cuz work, but recently i found my old tablet with all the pics and my notes so rework time baby. Im about to use all my years of angst/horror writing to fuck these bitches up even more

The Butterfly Effect and It's Consequences | The Phoenix Effect -

The Butterfly Effect is my main rottmnt fanfic series. About my little rottmnt oc's (Ame) life and how the gang adopting them into the family changed everything mostly for the better but the bad things kinda got alot worse. Idk been focusing on the phoenix effect more

The Phoenix Effect is kinda an extension of that. Its basically the same thing but adds the cass apocalypse series into it. Basically how future Ame being there also changes things and how oopies mystics powers are hard to control after being half dead in stasis for about 12 years hope Ame does trys to leave to protect everyone from himself only to get kidnapped putting everyone in worse danger also oopies isnt that the super dangerous alien someone accidentally freed awhile ago

The Future Diary - So i watched The Hot Box's video on the anime future diary and well here we are

Another rottmnt oc thing. Ame obtains a diary from his future self being like "hey so the world is gonna end soon here's how i think you could possibly stop that. Pls dont do this all alone ur like 5" and ame decides to do it all by himself.

Got all eight chapters planned out already with two already at stage two (aka fully written out just needs to be edited and stuff). I just dont know how to use ao3 in this sense or how to tag stuff plus i got anxiety so its just sitting in my notes app

Video stuff cuz yes

Currently working on a few more special videos. On my channel ive technically reached 100 videos (i unlisted alot of old ones/never posted a bunch more so technically i reached that months ago but shhh let me have this) plus i got 135 subs now so celebrations are in order. Idk what to say bout this, am making a video using the ok ko ending song idk the name, one is a fake collab a friend made and another is an original meme a youtube mutual/friend by association made. Plus like so mant mini things for my ocs, Dimension and Watcher are gonna get so much development and cute couple moments.

Also everyone else is gonna go through so much trauma my gods its gonna amazing.

Also ive been trying to like voice things, audio quality sucks cuz im working off of my tablet but like ive voice a few of my own videos (only one posted) and like its so fun i wish i had proper stuff to do this so i can do it more

Other art stuff

I got a toyhou.se (its EnviousDeath), pls enjoy these characters and stuff

Im trying to make my art more mess and chaotic while staying clean? If that makes any sense. Still a lover of doing gacha stuff but am trying to branch out more.

Also btw how do people just idk do social stuff like trade characters, comment, and just aaaa idk what am doing i forgot how to do social stuff and also i never understood how to do this type without being awkward as hell

Character stuff

Watcher - *slaps religious trauma onto them* bitch gets sacrificed. Okay okay so Watcher, wasnt always Watcher. Before they used to be Ena a simple kid who was sent away for reasons i havent thought of yet to a church. Blah blah corruption, Watcher gets sacrificed for not falling in line blah blah they were saved and given a second chance.

Dimension - *slaps alot of anxiety and identity issues onto her* bitch got issues. Same as Watcher, Dimension wasnt always Dimension. Before she was Ellie a poor girl hated by her whole town because of the lies their mother spread about them and their father who had left years ago. She only had one friend, Watcher. Somehow they managed to make contact with each other despite being in different universes. Eventually Dimension snapped and went on a killing spree, slowly ripping apart her world in the process because this wasnt supposed to happen (think spiderverse canon events but different ill explain later) with her world crumbling around her, Dimension messages Ena one last time, not knowing Ena was already long gone, and accepts what they assume to be death only to fall into whats basically the anti void from utmv, gets corrupted and became a villain technically more of a multiversal criminal.

(For time and length reasons im cutting this segment short)

Multiverse stuff

OKAY TIME FOR WORLD BUILDING

How does what happened to Dimension's universe work? The way i explained it is like spiderverse canon events but different, but heres the details. Idk how to explain this but bare with me

Imagine each universe as a game in a folder on a computer. Each game has different code, story, art assets basically all are mostly different.

Most games are coded to have very specific story events and when something goes wrong everything breaks. Like take a spaghetti thing of code that shatters the moment you try to do something like trying to talk with an npc while having a status effect and thats how some of these worlds are like. And Dimension's was very much one of those worlds, and her breaking down like that shattered the code of their world and everything fell apart.

Im too tired to continue but my main multiverse is like one big computer own by a game creator who only sometimes knows how to make a stable game

Feel free to ask about any of what ive just ramblef about am always willing to ramble bout my stuff

#reaperspeaks

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".

....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.

...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.

I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.

and GOD does This suck

one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude

I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me

but what the fuck dude

why

it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)

but its just so mean

(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.

...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)

#no shade on my little bro #he's 18 now and sometimes I wish he'd stand up for me but he's a great kid #wouldnt wish dad's crap on him anyway #we have nothing in common and no sibling relationship. he kind of has the personality of a saltine cracker dipped in monster energy #but he's a damn good guitarist and a good person #no shade on my puppy either #she is the best dog in the world (in the way that most owners say their dogs are) #though she is a little thief with bad breath who climbs the counter like a climbing wall to steal unattended breakfasts(affectionate) #STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME #shit like this is why im deancoded/srs #me: yesterday was perfect. i never have good days omg??? this is definitely going to turn awful when the other shoe drops #today: the other shoe has dropped and it's only 6:30 am #tw toxic family #tw verbal abuse #rant #vent #tw family abuse #tw abuse #tw toxic parents #longpost #tw ableism #bitch WHY???? #fairly literal crytyping

[4usrhacidae]

I posted 205 times in 2022

32 posts created (16%)

173 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aftersun2022

@milkcrisis

@thefoetusallnuderevue

@bastardiando

@lesbianjinbe

I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#pics - 94 posts

#phorustalk - 36 posts

#art - 31 posts

#tv tag - 28 posts

#one piece - 15 posts

#roronoa zoro - 9 posts

#video - 9 posts

#spn - 9 posts

#spnposting - 9 posts

#tvposting - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#i have a bunch of og posts (from march 2022 and prior) that arent tagged at all and ill go through and tag them another time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

this show is so fucking funny. the winchesters are the only family ever that held the neurotypical child in a worse light than the very AutDHD one. “because i didn’t wanna bow-hunt or hustle pool because i wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked-out family made me the freak.” like that’s hilarious. i just KNOW dean was getting a 60 or below in every class and his dad fucking loved him for it but sam gets straight As and Bs and his dad couldn’t give less of a shit. dean has never completed a piece of homework in his life but sam would always do his AND get it in on time and their dad discouraged sam’s way of thinking because he liked it better when they slacked off. dean’s only friends were other warriors cats kids and they were only friends for like a week because he was too weird even for them. sam made friends with or at least was acquainted with most of his classmates and that was seen as bad because he had less time to hunt monsters. literally magical.

6 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#4

sorry for theaterposting but the the general impression i'm getting from the rtc fanbase is that not a lot of people like or agree with the idea of noel catfishing mischa but i for one am super on board with it. i think it's hilarious.

think of your high schools soundcloud rapper (there's at least one of them). you don't know him that well and he's got goofy ass rhymes and he's just a funny character. now imagine your school and town are small and insanely boring, and you're the only gay guy there. you're bored as fuck and one day on youtube you see one of this soundcloud rapper's videos in your recommended and you think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if i pretended to be a hot girl and trolled this guy?" so you do and it's funny and you keep it going for a while because what else do you have to do. then it's been a couple months and you realize this guy is super serious about this relationship and you don't want to end it because you're still having fun, and also because deep down you know it'll hurt him and you've kind of gotten to know him. he ends up proposing to you and you don't know what to do so you say yes and you guys are having cringy google translate internet sex on the regular and he starts talking about saving money to go to ukraine where you don't live to meet you and you realize there's no way to get out of this without him getting hurt. you're vaguely considering faking either your death or your catfish persona's death because you love drama. then you go on a choir trip and the guy is there so you do what you usually do and reply to his texts whenever he's not looking. then you fucking DIE and you're like, this sucks but at least i don't have to deal with that fake online relationship i got myself into.

and then you look over and he's there next to you.

7 notes - Posted December 11, 2022

#3

izzy hands is so workingclass bitter prolegirl mindsick cripplerage.

10 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#2

honestly from now on im considering it a hate crime to think of zoro as straight. and cis for that matter.

13 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i love ruining zoro for dudebros. you dont understand him like i do. i know that hes fat and trans and autistic and gay and mentally ill and disabled. but even more importantly i know he likes math.

14 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #phorustalk #hrm. #i was very erratic with my posting this year