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magpie-of-a-birb · 3 years

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@paint-the-ravenclaw tagged me in on sorting Sanders Sides characters (that post is here), and I decided to make a whole new post for it. Here we go-

Editor Magpie here! It's a good thing that I made this a post of its own, cuz boy is it long. Patton's section took up three pages hand-written, if that tells you anything.

(Also, beware spoilers. If you're not up-to-date, I may reference things you haven't seen yet)

Patton

I'm starting off with Patton because, quite frankly, what he's got going on is fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.

He's a very obvious badger primary, but he also has a badger performance layered over top of it. If you've seen The Good Place, or listened to the @sortinghatchats podcast episode where they sorted TGP characters, you'll be able to see that this is the same as what Tahani did.

Patton's primary is for his community, but he also has an idea of what his primary should be. Not "should" as in aspirational, but "should" as in expectation. So he makes a badger primary performance, something that says "look at me! I'm a good person!" but creates self-loathing because he believes that he isn't living up to that performance. And here's the kicker:

His performance is exploding.

He thinks that, to be a good person, he (and Thomas, by extention) has to sacrifice everything for others. That is the badger primary performance that he thinks he should be.

Disclaimer: this is an unhealthy example of badger primary. No house is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There are many healthy, thriving badger primaries, and they are beautiful, just as every other house is.

And his exploding primary put a lot of strain on his badger secondary (he's a caretaker and loves courtier badger). He has to work hard and show up for everyone all the time and he... can't. It's not possible.

The fact that he cannot humanly live up to his own expectations makes his secondary start to burn. You especially see that in the courtier aspect of his secondary. He feels like he should be the "optimistic, goofy dad-friend" and he loves using courtier badger for it. But he burns out from being there for everyone, that face becomes unreliable in courtier badger because he can't feel it all the way down, he's not happy. So his badger starts to burn, and what does he do?

He takes up an actor bird model to handle the strain. He's used to the "happy, goofy dad" mask that it's easy for him to shift it from courtier mirroring to an actor role.

And whew boy, is that actor bird obvious in Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux. When it's clear that the others aren't siding with him, Patton isn't able to shift to match the change to make a stronger argument - as a snake or mirroring badger could - so he doubles down on his role.

"Remember, guys, I'm morality. My role is to make correct moral choices. Look! This is my good and helpful mask! I'm good and helpful!"

He does that all the way until he's sure that it's a lost cause, and that's when he snaps. But his snapping isn't drawing what he knows of the others, it's not using things that he knows will hurt them, not as we expect him to (especially since he uses similar tactics to manipulate Thomas into doing the right thing).

He transforms. Because he can't be angry. He's not allowed to be angry. Being angry is wrong. If he's angry, according to his exploding primary performance, then he's not a good person.

So he transforms. Because he can only be angry if he isn't himself. Patton chooses not to be Patton. He chooses to be a monster. Instead of translating his thoughts to fit the role (like with his dad role) he's using the role to justify the feelings.

Another disclaimer: like with primaries, no secondary is inherently healthy or unhealthy. There's even an example of healthy actor bird later in this sorting.

Logan

First off, his bird secondary is obvious. He loves collecting and using things. He loves lists and plans. His insecurity stems from his tools not being enough. He is a bird.

His primary is a bit more difficult because he doesn't usually make decisions from a moral standpoint, that's not his job. It's clear that he's not a felt primary, and due to the lack of intensity in general, I think snake can be ruled out. So, bird primary.

Virgil

His system is very lion primary. His gut says that something is wrong and he acts immediately.

His tactics are very bird secondary, preferring to construct a reasonable argument about why Thomas should be anxious over forcefully shoving panic at Thomas (which he does do when he sees the situation as an emergency and he needs Thomas to stop/do something now, but it's not his preference).

On top of that, Virgil has a birdy mask up at the beginning of the series. It's one born out of duty (lion primary), so he embodies the role that he's expected to play as anxiety (a bad guy who's goal is to make Thomas scared) instead of being himself (someone who's trying to keep Thomas safe). So he plays the role until he's shown that he doesn't have to.

Also, look at how he acts in the debate between him and Logan. All of his snap-back retorts are of the same type: general, playground insults. They're predictable and formulaic, like a default response a bird may have when they don't know how to respond while in a given mask. Basically: he's falling back on pre-set common phrases that the character he is embodying would say when he's not "translating" his thoughts into those of his character fast enough.

On a side note, I think that's how you differentiate between actor bird from the other forms of masks: playing a role with a tangible name.

Anyways-

Roman

LION BIRD LION BIRD LION BIRD

He hoards music, plays, movies, and musicals like a corvid and references them like nobody's business. His quick wit is in wordplay ("panic at the everywhere" much?) which, while not indicative of a bird secondary, is bird-flavored icing on the cake.

He lives in actor bird, and while his role isn't always applicable, I think that Roman is an easily-visable example of healthy actor bird. He loves and takes pride in his roles and doesn't solely use them as a shield (like Patton and, to a lesser extent, early Virgil).

He's a bit of a glory hound, he's attracted to the glamor that being a well-known creative and a hero entails, and that feeds into his default Hero/Prince in Shining Armor role. But it's wrong for him to pursue that at the expense of those he loves being miserable (see: Selfishness vs Selflessness).

Remus

Remus shares his primary with his brother. However, he's a horizon/fey lion. Everything that is fun is good which, when combined with his loves-to-mess-with-people snake secondary, spells pain for everyone else in a garish neon-green sign that smells vaguely of a landfill and intentionally leaves glitter everywhere.

Janus

Janus is a double snake. His person is Thomas, and anything is okay (especially deception) if it's to protect him.

Bonus sort: Thomas

Thomas is an interesting character. Because he is a character, within the context of Sanders Sides, that is. Sanders Sides!Thomas is not the same as Real Life!Thomas, even if the former is heavily inspired by the latter. As such, I think that there's enough to sort Character!Thomas.

Character!Thomas is very much a badger primary. It makes sense that he'd match primaries with Patton, his morality, but more so, the entire premise of the show has heavy healthy badger messages. Most episodes are about choosing the right thing to do, and Thomas makes that decision depending on what his community (the Sides) think. He's clearly a felt primary, but if he were a lion, then the "get input from others" aspect of the show would not be as effective.

His secondary is less obvious, but I have to go with bird. Most of the Sides have bird secondaries, and as they're aspects of Thomas, that would logically reflect his secondary to some degree. And he has many of the same hoards as the others, joyfully drawing on and pointing out references to things.

There may possibly be a badger (particularly courtier badger) model in there, but I can't confidently say that it's the case.

In Conclusion:

Patton: badger primary with an exploded badger primary performance. Semi-burned badger secondary with an unhealthy bird secondary model (specifically actor bird)

Logan: double bird

Virgil: lion bird

Roman: lion (glory hound variant) bird

Remus: lion (fey/horizon variant) snake

Janus: double snake

Thomas: badger bird with a possible badger secondary model

#magpie speaks #magpie sorts #sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #long post #tw long post #sortinghatchats

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thenotetoselfpod-hq · 3 years

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“The answer is yes if you were wondering if y’all were spoiled. Whew, Chile. Don’t ask me for NOTHIN’ else.” Zion chuckled sweetly as she dramatically cleared her throat. “Lets get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Note to Self podcast where we talk all things self care of the body, spirit, mind, work ethic, sprinkled in with a whole lot of motivation to carry us into a new day. I am your host Zion Taylor and with me in my makeshift studio is my lil baby who listens to all of my problems, my boss friend THEEEEE Brilliant O’neal.” Zion air claps as she smiles over at Brilliant. “How are you on this lovely day, mama?”

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m so excited to speak to the note to self listeners all over, it’s been fun listening in and making my own input here and there but wheww being here feels so rewarding.” She said warmly before playfully exhaling. “I’m doing good, managing like I usually do but good nonetheless. How are you?! What jewels do you plan on dropping for the people today?”

“I’m probably doin’ a little less good than you since you’re managing but girl .. I cannot complain at all. So thankful to have you here for this episode and to just catch up. We’ll get into the tea of it all a little later. We start every episode with a brief recap and I wanted to thank everyone, again, for all of the love. I hope you all were inspired to really keep killing shit in the industry that you’re in and watch the doors open up for you. Last weeks top listeners were the beauty that is known as @royalnike who spoke about her Black Owned Mechanic business and the short term goals that she has for herself in that business. Of course you, Mrs. Brilli Dis, founder and owner of The Glamour Parlor, and the beautiful @syxrai, who I’m obsessed with on IG by the way, but who also is a film producer ALL shared your short term goals which inspired me tremendously. If you missed out on that go give it a listen and drop your own goals in the comment section.

Music is the only thing that gets me through my week sometimes. This week is on you because Channing is still pressed about Good Days so that shit rings in my head every day because of her.” Zion laughed, “What have you been listening to this week? Any new music you wanna share? Put us on.

Brilliant cracked up in laughter at the mention of Channing. “That baby got taste, because that’s my jam! But this week I’ve been on my Gangsta Brilli, I’ve been playing A Gangsta’s Pain by MoneyBagg on repeat. I think his track with Jhené is the perfect vibe, so if y’all need something to vibe to, with a nice little glass of wine, One of Dem Nights, but the whole album bops.”

“Okaaaay. Now see I haven’t always been a MoneyBaggYo fan up until his songs started getting airtime on the radio. I’ma definitely have to give that a listen once Channing is done boppin’ to her fave.

And that brings us right into the TEA for the day. I’ve known Brilliant for several years now and I feel like I’ve only known her as this amazing business women, wife and mother. We both know how crazy it can be going from Hashtag Living Single to Mommy Duties real quick once you’re married and have wifely duties, etc. How long did you know your Husband before you two decided to make it official AND tie the knot? Was marrying young something that you were open to or did it not matter? What’s that young love story you can’t wait to share with your kids?” Zion smiled as she looked over at Brilliant.

“So I always tell people that me and my husband’s love story is literally crazy, and I don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. Because were short on time, for the real how we met tea, watch our YouTube video! But..I think we dated for about a year before I got pregnant and just because of the type of man he is and how in love we were, and how happy we were when our son Justice was born, we got married when he was about 3 months. I honestly didn’t see myself marrying that young or having children..and my life did a whole 180. I just thought damn I’ll probably hate it here but when you have that person to make those defining moments with..it was a breeze and I found myself being happier with my little family than when I ran the streets. I don’t think marrying young is for everyone but when you make the right decision..man the moments you’ll create..priceless. Still a hot girl though, don’t get that twisted.” She said with a playful laugh.

“EXACTLYYY. I have to remind Lex all the time when he sees me playing dress up in my boots and coochie cutters that mama BEEN a stallion, okay?! Hot Girl Summer me, please!” She laughed, “No but seriously the feeeeels. I’m obsessed with the love you two have for each other. It’s infectious. But I’m sure it hasn’t always been cupcakes and rainbows, right. Y’all, shit gets real after the wedding and the vows and even after that honeymoon phase. I know for me and Carmelo, I’m more of the opinionated one and I really had to learn to step down and let my man LEAD our home. We were pregnant before the wedding ... liiike ya girl had her dress taken OUT 4 times before I was satisfied with how my hips looked in it.” She chuckled, “You said something so special, when you have that person to make memories with you will DEFINITELY not want to live a single day without them and expanding that love into children only makes it better. Melo was trying to get me pregnant BEFORE he proposed to me and I wasn’t having it because at the time I was dealing with fertility issues and having a baby seemed damn near impossible. I always say that he spoke the life of our son, Lexington, into existence because I didn’t think that I could physically carry.” She stated, smiling again at the thought.

“I remember you alls last video where you announced the pregnancy of my other child, Jewel” She chuckled, “Um, what was the experience like for you? Having to go through all that you did for the blessing that is currently your literal shadow. She looks like her Daddy but has your everything else. What was that like?”

“That’s your child for sure.” She said with a laugh. “It was actually on the difficult side, she’s my rainbow baby. I suffered a miscarriage and some issues with fertility so I actually got pregnant with Jewel through IVF. I adore her, it’s scary having a mini version of myself. Someone who’s with all my hair, makeup and nail antics because my son Justice is not with it at all! He won’t even let me take his picture half the time.” She laughed momentarily. “I know it’s the same way with you and my baby Channing”

“I can imagine it being extremely difficult. When God’s mind is made up we can only pray that He’s included us in His plans and when he made Channing? He definitely had me in mind.” She laughed. “I still don’t know how we got so lucky but I don’t question anything. She’s obsessed with all of my clothes and hair and everything in between.”

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is what’s been going on in the media with Porsha, Falynn, and the Husband who I don’t even know his name yet. So Porsha Williams brought onto the Real Housewives of Atlanta show her friend Falynn a few years ago. Maybe like two seasons ago. This is someone who was also featured on this last season of the RHOA show that was filmed in 2020. Apparently the two are no longer friends and Porsha is now ENGAGED to Falynns’ Husband because they haven’t even gotten a divorce yet. I wan’t to know your thoughts on the whole situation. What type of friendship dynamic do you think they had for Porsha to be comfortable MARRYING this man?”

“Engaged. To. A. Former. Friend’s. Husband.” She said slowly before letting out a low sigh. “Now, the first mistake she made was being engaged or dating a man who is still married. I don’t care what the circumstances are, he is legally married! It is literally code and decency not to date or marry after your friends. If y’all are friends or have ever called each other friends, that’s just unacceptable. I would beat the breaks off anyone I called a friend for going after my husband if we ever were to divorce. That’s just grimy and I don’t think Falynn is mad enough. I do know though, one of my followers who is a hair stylist said how she married one of her old client’s ex husband and child’s father. Do you think that’s acceptable? Say I did a woman’s hair for years and nothing besides that and I went on to date her ex?”

“Absolutely not. Unacceptable and I’m the type of crazy that belongs in jail so you already know how that’s gone gooo. It’ll forever be up until they give me life.” Zion laughed and shook her head, “Period. Porsha is most definitey a fucked up individual but I would LOVE to hear y’alls thoughts on the matter so leave alll comments in the comment section below.”

“Thank you all so much for listening to me and Brilliant catch up. Brilliant please tell my listeners where they can follow you and how they can support The Glamour Parlour. Alsooo, when’s the next brunch or giveaway?”

“It has been sooo fun talking with you! I’m glad I got the opportunity to talk with to boss friend Zion! I get this question a lot..so often.” She let out a low laugh. “All I’ll say is to stay tuned, we’ll be turning up soon and the giveaways won’t stop!”

“Ayyyy so there it is people, the beautiful Brilliant O’neal. Be sure to check her out across all social media platforms at @brillixdis and I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Byyyyyyyye.”

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girloikawa · 4 years

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what are the foxes’ sleeping habits?? (bc its 3am and i need to wake up at 6:45am so i’m basically fucking myself over tenfold rn)

neil cannot sleep. he was on the run for how many years???? you expect him to just. 🛏👀🛌 no. he tosses and turns because his neck never feels right and he, surprisingly, doesn’t think about bad things when he sleeps. most people think like “oh my life is sad” or whatever and neil’s just like “yeah i could’ve not done that exy position or why did that french girl look at me god i wish i could fucking sleep.” oh and he sleeps in a fetal position and his neck always has to be facing the left side (lets be honest here i gave neil all my sleeping habits)

kevin just hits the sack of hay hard and sleeps. he doesn’t dream much and he thinks it’s really weird?? every other day, nicky will be like, i had this dream, i had that dream, and kevin will be thinking “the only dreams i have are of being loved and able to express my trauma✨✨ also KNOWING I HAVE TRAUMA🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️” and he drools :):) and he sleeps with a nightlight :):)

renee sleeps with a mint under her pillow and it’s so goddamn cute. it’s a habit. she puts one under there every night so when she wakes up she has a mint to eat. and they’re not the trash mints, the burning mints. they’re the ones that just melt in your mouth and are cylinder shaped with the red & white stripes. so good, so flavorful. she sleeps on her back most of the time, and her favorite pjs are ones with salmons on them

aaron probably contacts the devil or smth in his sleep. mans talking to a higher power, i promise. the devil just replies with: “chill bro calm your tits.” u know. no, i’m kidding, he’s probably just very vanilla and has lots of nightmares of andrew being super tall and him super short. oh god now i’m gonna have nightmares about that. why did i manifest it-

allison has milk before bed (after the toothpaste taste dies down) because she used to do that when she was growing up. she kicks in her sleep and if anyone ever shares a bed with her, they always bring it up. she hates it. also, totally does a complete skincare routine before bed because SELF CARE BABY. no bra too, no bra i swear to god no bra

andrew only dreams if he sleeps a long time. they’re usually either really unpleasant nightmares or just super weird dreams. either something traumatic or neil playing golf with no pants on. no middle ground. because he knows that, he makes sure to go to bed super late all the time. neil balances it out a bit (but only a bit). he sleeps with pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt because, well, scars. with neil, and this is only later, he does it some nights, others shirtless, it really depends on how he feels. most of the time, when he sleeps, it feels like 2 seconds have gone by and he’s real irritated by it

matt falls alseep way quicker if he’s listening to music or a podcast. something positive because he thinks that if he hears happy things, he’ll think happy things. dan teases him for it, so does neil. he sleeps shirtless most nights, but if he doesn’t, he wears a tshirt that’s a very obnoxious yellow that just has a giant ruber ducky on it. matt, looking in the mirror one morning: “i wish i were you, jerold. i wish i were you.” this has nothing to do with sleeping, but matt genuinely thinks cereal is the best way to start the day

dan is a!! heavy!! sleeper!! big!! snorer!! matt loves her snores so much, and i would too. she’s really grabby in her sleep, too. in the mornings, it takes her awhile to wake up. she’ll just lay in bed for 10 minutes trying to get up. it’s like her charging port, she needs to restore her energy for the day

nicky mumbles in his sleep. “i want pb&j,” he said once. (he says that bc i said that once 😔.) he usually thinks about eric and fantasizes about their future as he falls asleep, and he wakes up face down most nights. and sometimes he’ll just switch up sides casually. one day he’ll sleep with his head closer to the door, some days it far away from the door

whew u can tell this was written at 3am

#i cannlt say tag urself im ____#bc i put myself in every one???#no bra no bra i swear to god no bra #no bra? no bra #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #kevin day #andrew minyard #kandriel #andriel #renee walker #allison reynolds #matt boyd #dan wilds #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #i probs resonate most with andrew or neil tho

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 4 years

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Imagine:

Reader/ OC trying to keep her orgasms on the inside because she doesn’t like how she sounds.

This is going to be pretty long and detailed. Figured I could add this bit into an idea I had. I wanted to write it out just like this 😩.First time using an OC. Enjoy lovelies xoxoxo

Hello, it’s your girl Ebony here and you’re listening to The Love Zone. We already have a caller number one on the line...

“Hello?” Élise timidly spoke into the phone while seated in her dimly lit living room. There was a 100% chance of showers that evening and rainy nights were the perfect nights for her. Alone in a home she inherited from her grandmother in Marigny, New Orleans, Élise decided to call The Love Zone on WQUE-FM, New Orleans mainstream urban radio station. Ebony Starr was a famous Sexologist and radio personality from Bywater, New Orleans. She inspired Élise to start her own podcast that she titled Finally Exhaled which discusses overcoming past toxic relationships and starting new ones.

“Caller number one?” Ebony said into the microphone. Her voice echoed since Élise could hear it twice.

“Yes,” she licked some cocoa butter from her lips, “I’m caller number one.”

“Alright, love, do you have a question for me?”

“I’m a huge fan,” she nervously laughs, “Just...I didn’t expect you...to answer my call.”

“You’re so sweet, honey, thank you,” Ebony made Élise smile, “what’s your name?”

“Yolanda,” that was her mother’s name.

“Yolanda, Pretty name. I know a lot of Yolanda’s.”

“Yeah,” she toyed with her long dreaded hair.

“Why are you up so late, Yolanda? No work for tomorrow?”

It was 11:00 pm. She worked as a waitress in a bar and grill but that was just to keep busy. She was an only grandchild left with her grandmothers money. Her Father didn’t like the fact that she got everything. Typical. He wasn’t around so why did it matter to him?

“Work tomorrow evening,” she pondered for a moment, “Now I remember my question.”

Ebony laughs, “go ahead, what’s your question?”

Wiggling her toes at the fireplace she opens her mouth to speak, “How do I overcome being embarrassed by the way I sound when I orgasm and moan? I’m nervous to even ask this question but it’s been bothering me and I just...I don’t like it.”

“Hmm,” Ebony’s smooth hum reassured her, “Why don’t you like the way you sound, Yolanda?”

“It’s-its because I was told it was ugly mainly. My last boyfriend-shitty boyfriend by the way, told me I sounded like a dying animal,” Élise chuckles, “I want to move past that and embrace the way I sound whenever the moment happens for me again but...”

“You’re afraid the next man will find it just as ugly and look at you weird?”

“Yes, ugh,” Élise closes her eyes, “What the hell should I do?”

“Honestly? Embrace it. That sound is a beautiful sound, Yolanda. One of the sounds of love making. When it’s real and sudden like that it makes you stutter out incoherent words and sounds but only a real man, an experienced appreciative man, would love to hear those noises. How old were you when he told you this?”

“I was 20 years old. That was when we first started dating. A start to a long toxic relationship.” She didn’t mean to vent like that but she couldn’t help it. Her ex, Sean, was such an emotional abuser. He shot her down every chance he got to make her feel ugly. That was for four whole years. She was 25 now and wanted to heal from that.

“Oh, that explains it,” Ebony made a noise of disapproval, “See, boys don’t know a thing, honey. I’m happy you’re not in that toxic relationship anymore and there is a man out there that will love every screaming orgasm you have. Especially if he’s the cause.”

“I know you’re right but gosh,” what man anyway? The closest she’s ever come to a man since then was working at that bar and they all were too pushy and drunks. She was loosing all hope honestly.

“Yolanda, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Over a year ago.”

“You’re craving sex heavy, sweetie. You want to give yourself to someone badly and a year can do that. I don’t think it was only the way you sound it’s a trust thing as well. Sean betrayed your trust.

Bingo.

“I’m better now. I can trust but I just don’t know where to start.”

“There is no rush. Let it come to you, honey. Once it does...accept it. Feel it. If you can listen to yourself moan and shout when you orgasm alone then you can definitely do it in front of a man again. I bet you sound angelic.”

Élise blushes.

“I actually heard that smile through the phone, Ebony laughs, “Sweety, let that moan out, snatch a man’s soul, and feed that craving.”

Élise laughs pleasantly, “I really needed this thank you so much, Miss Starr.”

“Please, If you need to talk you could always come to my meet and greets and workshops in The French Quarter.”

“I’d like that,” Élise smiles wide with her high cheek bones, “thanks again, Ebony.”

“Thank you, Yolanda. Enjoy the rest of your evening, love.”

The line disconnected. Élise places her phone on the carpeted floor and thought about their conversation. She was pining for sex. She wanted her year back. A year of no dick or lips on her pussy. Sex toys over used and calling her name as we speak.

Let’s take it slow with some Beyoncé- Dangerously in Love 2...

Baby I love you/You are my life/My happiest moments weren’t complete if you weren’t by my side/You’re my relation/In connection to the sun/With you next to me/There’s no darkness I can’t overcome/You are my raindrops/ I am your seed...

The rain was coming down in sheets, banging against Élise’s rough top like bullets. There was no lightning or thunder. She was glad that she got the lighting in her grandmothers home fixed because if she didn’t the power would be out and Élise did not want to go into that cobwebbed basement to find candles. Last time she went down there she saw a possum. Élise has on nothing but a retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt while seated in front of the fireplace. She finally stands, the heat of the flames warming her butt before she walked back to the couch where her crinkled copy of Roar of Thunder, Hear My Cry rested on top of a quilt.

She couldn’t sleep and Beyoncé had her singing with her eyes closed. Grabbing her Walt Disney World coffee mug that had lukewarm herbal tea in it, Élise snuggled into the couch while facing a small window just above the heater in her living room.

I hope everyone is being safe on this stormy Friday night. We have another caller on the line, caller number two?

Élise tunes in.

“I’m still unfaithful to my husband. I can’t shake the need to be with the other man. Just tonight I came home after frantic car sex in an open lot. I want to tell him...I want to tell him I’m happy with the other man.”

“Wow,” Élise loves this juicy talk. She could faintly hear Rihanna-Unfaithful play in the background which causes her to giggle. Ebony was hilarious.

Whew, honey, juggling two men?

“SHIT!”

Élise’s head shot up from the couch. The angry shout came from outside. Maybe someone was locked out the house, she thought. Élise covered herself with the quilt further to listen to more of The Love Zone.

You are killing this man. Just tell him the truth. I can hear the pain in your voice. If you want to end this the right way stop stringing him along and communicate...

Thump

A rather loud kick could be heard from outside. Now, her interest was peaked. Élise tosses the quilt back , tiptoeing to the window with her mug still in hand. She could see a little better only because the house had a porch. But it was still foggy. A man was outside with his hazards flashing. He had to have been out there for a minute with how drenched he was messing under the hood of his car. No lightning or thunder. Just the rain, but the rain was more than enough to make the situation extremely uncomfortable.

Élise couldn’t see him that clearly as he hopped in and out of his car every minute or so, probably trying to warm up before trying something else to get his car moving again. Thanks to the street lamp about twenty feet from where he parked she could make out the type of car. A Ford Mustang 2006. It was parked beside a neighbor of hers that she didn’t like at all. His name was Kevin and he was a white supremacist. Nothing new in the South. No family but she could have sworn she heard screams from his house...

“Fuck!” The man shouts again. Élise felt kind of guilty. She had no idea why. She was sure most of her neighbors saw him stranded out there as well. As quiet as her neighborhood is, something out of the ordinary rarely goes unnoticed. However, the fact that the man was still out there struggling on one of the worst nights, weather-wise, of the year didn’t sit right with her. What harm would it be to offer to let him into her home so he could properly make a call for a Tow service or have a nice cup of tea and a hot meal? Loan a flashlight, or let him warm up by the fireplace for a moment?

Élise stares down at what she was wearing again. That retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt. Élise went to the closet to grab her red longline puffer coat and black Hunter rain boots. She grabs a flashlight from the closet shelf, trying it out to see if it worked. A couple slaps with it to the palm of her hand made the old thing ignite and she was headed for the door. Élise swung the front door open like a women on a mission. She stomps across her front porch and right down the steps, pulling the back of her coat up over her head to keep from getting her dreads wet.

“Excuse me!” She yelled out from the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street from where the man was parked. He looked in her direction, and she could finally make out his soaked face. She was not disappointed.

“Wassup?!” He responded loudly, “This rain is a bitch!”

“Yeah, it is! Do you need some help?! It’s pretty cold out too my place is warm!”

He kept a steady gaze on her from under his hood. He had this look on his face as if that were a bad idea. Now, Élise was regretting it.

“Are you waiting for someone?!” She started up the conversation again. Her legs were so wet now.

“Nah!” He shook his head and from what Élise could make out she saw short dreads fall over his forehead, “Listen, it’s bad out here, sweetheart why don’t you go back inside, huh?!”

“You sure?!” She pointed her flashlight to the house, “My offer still stands if you change your mind!”

“Thanks, I appreciate it, ma!”

Even though it was dark she could see his smile. Damn, he was good-looking. All that out here melting in the rain. Élise turned to run back to the porch only to fall right on the concrete. She felt both her knees hit the ground. She wailed in pain. Her hands planted to the ground and she tried lifting up but her rain boots slipped right from under her. She could feel hot tears prick her eyes.

“SHIT!!! Hey, Ma!” He called out. Élise could hear heavy feet splashing in the flooded streets and then a pair of wet hands grabbing her waist and lifting her all the way up into bridal style. She squinted her eyes up at the nice-looking man with the fucked up car. He started walking back to her porch. He sat her down on an old chained swing chair before removing his black hoodie and tossing it on the swing chair with her. It was probably uncomfortable walking around with heavily soaked fabric. One thing was for sure: he was built. He had on a charcoal gray tee that was hugging his body something fierce. Élise could make out his physique thanks to him being up close and personal now. Then there was those dreads. They fit his rugged look so perfectly. He definitely wasn’t from around here.

“What are you doing out here? It’s bad, sweetheart, you could have cracked your head open on the ground instead.”

She blinked up at him with timid eyes. He softened his stern ones before his eyes closed. His hands finger combed his dreads back before he shook his head to stop the dripping water.

“My bad,” he looked down at her on the swing chair, “you’re probably thinking who the fuck he think he is talking to me,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Not at all,” Élise looked away and down at her lap. He was right. She was so quick to come running to the rescue. It was almost flooded outside.

“Let me see the damage,” He crouches down to look at her knees, “just scraped skin but it needs to be cleaned off.”

His onyx eyes landed on hers before turning back to his car. Élise studies the back of his smooth neck and the curve of his ears. It seemed like forever that he was staring at his car.

“I have everything in my house I can take care of it. Thank you though.”

He turned back with a tilt of his head. His eyes looked up at her house while his fingers lazily drummed on the swing chair.

“My name is Erik.” He reached out to shake her hand.

“I’m Élise,” she grabbed it and noticed some cuts on his knuckles, “looks like you need some help too.”

Erik drew his hand back before covering his knuckles by folding his arms, “Shit, I forgot that was even there.”

“No worries, I’m not afraid of blood.” She clarified.

“You must not be afraid of much talking to a stranger at 12 in the morning in the rain.”

His tone was serious. Élise looked away from him with a shy smile.

“I have a big heart and my shitty neighbors wouldn’t help you out so I figured what the hell I can do it.”

“Not much happens around here, huh?” He asked with attentive eyes.

“No, it’s pretty quiet,” she took in every inch of him with her eyes. The tight charcoal gray shirt was damp and exposing every single muscle. She liked his short dreads, almond colored skin, and long, sexy eyelashes.

“You could have knocked on someone’s door to give you a jump.”

“Ha,” his chuckle was dry, “You don’t answer doors when strangers knock, baby girl. And I don’t trust knocking on doors in this neighborhood. I’m lucky you even stepped out,” he smiled faintly, “like a breath of fresh air.”

“I agree,” she changed it up, “it’s just-“

“Don’t explain yourself. It’s cool,” Erik stands, stretching out the muscles in his arms. His eyes were studying her home with a new found curiosity.

“In this world we live in, you never know what you might find knocking on someone’s door. Most people are suspicious, especially of us black men.”

“True,” she stood with him, wrapping her coat around her, “so...do you wanna come in?”

He licked his lips and placed his hands in his black cargo pants pockets. He looked like he was freezing and she could see his cold breath.

“Erik, I have blankets and dry shirts,” she beemed up at him.

He squinted his eyes playfully at her before his head fell forward with defeat. Success.

“A blanket does sound nice. But, as tiny as you are, I doubt I could fit into one of your shirts.”

Élise thought she saw a flicker of lust in his eyes when he said that. At least, a part of her hoped she saw lust.

“Unless...” He gave her quizzical expression, “your boyfriend got some shirt he left behind.”

Élise blushes, “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

She could tell he was fighting a grin. Élise finally turned to lead the way back into her place, Erik grabbing his hoodie and walking through the door. The second he ended up in there he felt his body defrost and dry.

“Fuck,” he ran his hands over his short dreads, “I’m glad I let my pride down for once and let you help me. A nigga was cold.”

“Uh-Huh,” Élise laughs, “I see your skin warming up, Erik.”

“Oh yeah, I’m nice and toasty now,” He smiles flirtatiously.

“Hungry? Thirsty?”

“Nah, I’m cool.”

“Tow service?”

“Not available and...I’d rather not,” His jaw clenched.

“Well...” Élise shrugs, “looks like you’re staying the night, Erik.”

Erik raised a brow at her before looking around him to get acquainted.

She felt comfortable with him even though he was considered a stranger. Her grandmother would have higher blood pressure than what she already had if she knew what she’d just done. The thought of having some kind of company that night made her feel a lot better and less lonely. Élise finally locks her door and went to her closet to take off her boots and coat. It was all or nothing.

“Closet is free to put your boots and hoodie in.”

She was so damn comfortable around him that she forgot about only being in her T-shirt. Erik stood back with his arms folded watching Élise move and the fabric of the shirt sink in between her ass cheeks. She was sexy for sure. The second she kicked off her boots Erik could see the flesh of her butt... bare flesh.

This girl is serious? He thought.

Ass swinging while she moved. She was a cutie with a nice body. Alone in this big home. All that alone with no man. Shit didn’t make sense. Maybe she was just fucking someone. Erik began walking up to her while she took off her puffer coat to hang. Long slender dreads with shells in it. He wanted to pull on the coarse hair.

“Thanks, Élise,” He was so stealthy that she hadn’t noticed how close he had gotten to her. Elise’s back stiffened and her body tried to step away to give him space but Erik was already taking off his boots and hanging up his hoodie. She caught a whiff of his cologne causing her to nibble on her bottom lip. He didn’t smell like liquor and cigarettes like the men at the bar and grill she worked at. He smelled like rain, sweat, and what she recognized was Gucci Guilty men’s cologne. She remembered that smell from when she was in Macy’s sniffing around in the perfume section. It was intimate and warm at the same time.

“Don’t worry, your blankets will smell like me even when I leave, baby girl.”

She was caught red handed.

“I’m sorry,” she stroked a few dreads from her face, “Your cologne smells really good.”

We’re they really standing in the closet? She dropped the flashlight on the floor when Erik leaned in towards her to smell her now. He was more than comfortable around her. He acted like he knew her.

“You smell like coconut oil,” He gave her a coy smile, “I like that.” Erik crouched down in the small space to pick up the flashlight.

“T-thanks.” Élise licked her dry lips. She needs more cocoa butter.

“So, nice closet,” He teased.

“Yeah...very spacious,” she awkwardly tried to joke back.

Just show me around, ma, since I’m gonna be sleeping here tonight. Unless...you changed your mind?”

He leaned in toward her with a slight raise of his brow and parted lips. He knew he had hers shooken up.

“Yeah, I have a spare bedroom and the couch pulls out into a bed.”

Erik’s eyes trailed up and down her body, “Pull out couch is fine.”

Élise finally let out the breath she’d been holding once Erik stepped away and into her living room. She watched him look around like he was in a museum, staring at her family photos and the art on the walls. Élise has redecorated since moving in two years ago.

“This you?” Erik had a wide smile on his face while pointing to a photo on the ledge of the fireplace. Élise walked over, spotting the photo in question. Oh, yes, when her hair was in a kinky fro, nose piercing, college T-shirt on two sizes too small, tiny denim shorts, and laying in the grass with her ass sitting out and ready to be grabbed.

“Looking like a little rebel,” He picked that photo up studying it with unrelenting eyes. She shuddered.

“Very sexy,” Erik commented and then he gave Élise that look. She turned away from him; she didn’t want him to see the desire in her eyes. She was beginning to have second thoughts about kissing and possibly fucking a complete stranger. No need to deny herself her own thoughts. She’s been thinking that the second he looked up at her from across the street in the rain.

“Where are you from, Erik?”

He placed the picture back on the fireplace ledge, “California.”

Élise was intrigued.

“Why New Orleans?” She followed him to the couch where he started pulling it out into a bed.

“Business,” He kept it short. She didn’t pry further because she sensed that he didn’t want her to know the nature of his “business.”

“How do you like it so far?”

He gathered the bottom of his shirt, bringing it up and over his head while his zealous eyes never left hers, “It’s cool, I’ve been before during Mardi Gras.”

She froze. Was his skin naturally like that? It wouldn’t make since with how neat the bumps were. What would make him do that? He didn’t seem bothered by her eyes taking it all in or the wondering crease in her brow. He wouldn’t tell her, she knew that. The shit was going to eat her alive.

She snapped out of her daze, “I haven’t been to a Mardi Gras since I was 21.”

“Why?” He settles down shirtless on the pullout. His body bathed in the fire. She could feel her tongue tingling to taste his skin. Erik is so sexy.

“It’s so damn wild.”

“Please, girl,” He laughs, “Drunk white people acting a fool ain’t our kind of wild.”

They both laughed.

“When I came that shit was dead i was not partying with them. So, me and a friend hit up some urban spots and listened to some upbeat jazz and ate Cajun food. I met a chick and had some fun with her.”

What kind of fun?

“Sounds a lot better than the time I went.”

Élise stares down at her scraped knees. The crimson peeked through the tiny scratches. Now that her attention was there it was beginning to burn.

“Where’s your bathroom so we can get those cuts cleaned, baby girl?”

Élise pointed to her stairwell, “Upstairs. I can bring it down you don’t have to come with me.”

“Well,” Erik had a roguish expression on his face, “what if I wanna see what upstairs looks like?”

Her wary eyes stared at his wry expression. Erik was definitely being very coy with her.

“You won’t find anything interesting upstairs except for my bedroom.”

Élise’s wistful expression let Erik know without even saying it flat out that she wanted him in her room. He fixed his eyes on her for being that bold with him. She wasn’t so shy. She was a little rebel.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Élise tries to play it off, “I should probably shut up.”

“Let’s go,” Erik stood up, holding his hand out to her. Élise grabs his hand, leading Erik to the staircase and up the creaky steps. It was dark and chilly in the hallway since she didn’t turn on the heat upstairs. She could hear Erik shiver even though his hand was still warm. They made it to her bathroom, Élise turning on the light. She hadn’t changed it around much. Her grandmother still had Élise’s potty from when she was a baby in there. She never let go of things.

“My guess is this house belonged to your grandmother?” Erik finally spoke while standing at the sink.

“Yep. She passed away from breast cancer two years ago.”

“I know how that shit feels, trust me,” Erik opened her medicine cabinet to find a withering first aid kit, “I lost my mom and my dad so I understand.”

Erik motioned for Élise to come to him. When she did he picked her up and sat her on the edge of the sink. Her short yet thick legs swung back and forth reminding her of when she was a child. Erik opened the kit and grabbed some gauze dressing, peroxide, and neosporin.

“You must really enjoy picking me up, stranger,” Élise’s playful eyes sought out Erik’s and the second he smiled revealing those deep dimples in his cheeks she crossed her legs to simmer the heat growing between them. Even the grip she had on the edge of the sing became firmer.

there is a man out there that will love every screaming orgasm you have. Especially if he’s the cause.

Ebony’s words spoke to her again. She was thinking about the sounds she would make if Erik fucked her. He was still shirtless, his cargo pants riding low on his hips showing her that chiseled v-cut of his, and those lashes with his onyx eyes blinked at her like he was trying to read her mind. Lord knows Élise wanted to read his. He was so mysterious and unreadable and that didn’t scare her. It made her want to stake her claim on him. He was visiting New Orleans and maybe she could show him around and they could have some fun of their own. Élise was lonely and friends weren’t enough to fill the void. Not really much family left either. She needed the warmth and comfort of a man.

But Erik looked like the type to break you down piece by piece. She wouldn’t mind him turning her out. Élise didn’t know how long she was staring but Erik’s soft fingers tapping the sides of her thighs broke her out of her dreamy state. Staring down, she could see the fresh gauze covering her wounds. Élise bit into her lip and without being able to control it her high cheek bones puffed out. He made her blush over everything. Why couldn’t he be from New Orleans and not California? Once he left she wouldn’t find another guy around like him. She already crushed on him and she hardly even knew him.

“What did I do to make you blush, pretty girl?”

“What didn’t you do, Erik,” She reaches out for his hands, “let me see.”

He came in closer between her legs, giving her permission to grab his hands and examine his scarred knuckles. It looked pretty bad. Did he beat a brick wall or somebody’s face? She glanced up at him briefly and without saying a word she tended his wounds. His searching expression made her belly flit like butterfly wings. Now, she was rubbing neosporin in carefully. She could feel his eyes leering at her in a sexually suggestive way.

“These are pretty fresh,” she muttered. Élise’s eyes looked from his Adam’s apple bobbing from swallowing spit to his teeth nibbling the corner of his full pouty lip. He didn’t look at her when she said that.

“That’s because they are, Élise,” he says with a low voice. She started wrapping the gauze dressing around his hand. After she was done she didn’t let his hands go. Élise surely didn’t want to. They stood in a comfortable silence and it gave her time to think about his fresh wounds. He didn’t look like the type to go around beating brick walls but faces? That was definitely the answer. And surprisingly, Élise wasn’t afraid. If Erik wanted to rob her or kill her he would have done that already. Instead he was kind to her and he looked at her like he wanted to fuck her. She liked that look a lot.

“Élise.” Erik spoke earnestly.

“Yes?” She said with a soft-spoken voice.

“You’re not afraid of me. Why?”

“Because I know you won’t hurt me.”

She noticed him watching the way her lips moved when she said that. He was admiring the shape of them. Her lips were the perfect proportion. Perfectly symmetrical on the left and the right. Full lips with volume and a plump pout.

“Yeah, baby girl, I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“...but you did hurt someone...”

Erik glides his tongue over his upper teeth, responding but completely ignoring her question, “what if I kissed you right now? That wouldn’t change your mind?”

“No.” Élise said gazing into his eyes.

Erik leans in with his hands bracing the sides of the sink. His lips sparingly touched hers as he spoke. Élise clings to every word while her low eyes stared at his mouth.

“If you lettin’ me put my mouth on yours then you’ll let me put something else on you...am I right?”

Élise has an anxious feeling and Erik wasn’t helping when the flesh of his bottom lip tickled hers every time he spoke. Now, her eyelids were fluttering. Still in nothing but that retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt and no panties. She wondered if he could smell her arousal towards him.

“Erik-“

“Just answer the question, Élise.”

“Yes, I would.”

“If you’re not afraid of me you would answer my questions,” Erik moved his lips to her ear, his hard chest touching her clothed one. Élise shuddered when his warm breath tickled her ear, “Why are you so comfortable around me with this little ass T-shirt on and no panties?”

“H-How do you know I don’t have on panties?”

“Because,” the hair from his beard touched her neck, “I could see that ass from the back when you were in that closet, ma.”

She hung on to his captivating voice while staring at the side of his neck. Élise was sweating from how turned on she was and he didn’t even kiss her yet.

“That’s what I’m talking about. You act like you know me...what if I would have pulled that shirt up to get a better look at that ass?”

Élise gasps at his words, turning to look at him with alluring eyes. What if he would have done that? He was already so close to her. Now she was imagining him bending her over in that closet and going deep in her pussy from the back. She found that to be very sexy and thrilling. Élise’s grandmother was probably turning over in her grave right now. Her granddaughter letting a strange and clearly very dangerous man into her home and allowing him to seduce her.

Erik takes his hands to rest on her thighs. He moved them up and down in a slow motion keeping a steady gaze on Élise to see if she would flinch away. No, she was enjoying the firmness of his hands. He knew exactly what he was doing. Élise could feel his fingertips hit the bottom of her T-shirt. Damn...he was so close.

“Élise, you so damn thick, girl.”

“Thank you.” She bit down on her tongue to fight her ugly moan. At least that’s what she thought it was. Her eyes descended when she felt Erik lift the bottom of her shirt. Unhurried and gentle Erik lifts that T-shirt up to reveal Élise’s shaved mound. The phat flesh sat between her plush thighs like a surprise treat.

“Damn, you just letting me do this, huh?”

“Yes,” she let out an airy sigh, “I am.”

“Been too long, ma?” Erik had a wolfish expression on his face, “shit, you nice and phat down there too.”

Erik pulled her shirt back down and Élise’s heart sank before his pillowy lips finally connected with hers so suddenly. Her head almost collided with the mirror from how alarmed she was. Her hands reached up to cup his face while she allowed this man to fuck her mouth with his tongue. She tried to keep up with him but in the end Erik conquered her. His mouth tasted amazing. Now, he was gripping her curvy waist with his forceful hands and practically pulling her into his body. Their heads moved from side to side and their lips smacked and sucked on each other’s. A tiny yelp escaped her mouth when Erik sank his teeth into her bottom lip before drawing back. He licks his lips in one motion all the way around his mouth and Élise was officially hungry for more of him. A man coming in from the rain. A man she would have never expected would be kissing her on her bathroom sink. It was so risky.

“Ahhhh!” She moaned instantaneously. His lips and teeth were on her neck. Shit, Élise actually moaned. Why was she even worried? She actually sounded quite nice. Erik was bruising her skin with the right suction of his lips. If it felt like that on her neck it would feel just as good on her hard nipples and clit. The surface of the sink was moist from her pussy rubbing and gliding along the surface.

“Taste so goddam good, girl,” he flattened his tongue and licked her neck, “so sweet.”

“God, Erik,” she moaned, “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this to me.”

“I can,” He chuckles, “You like that I’m doing this to you. I can tell you’ve been loosing out, ma, got you all sweaty and breathing deep.”

“I just can’t...believe...fuck, Erik.”

His hands grabbed her breasts, circling them and tweaking her nipples through her shirt. He was torturing her at this point. Élise wanted him to rip that shirt off her body.

“You’re driving me crazy,” She whispered, “Erik,” her voice was so hushed and heavenly. The man in question was just as frazzled as her. Panting, a sheen of sweat on his skin, his dick hardening and thickening against her inner thighs.

“Élise...I wanna fuck you.” He grabs her hips to keep her still, “listen to me,” his thumb came up to stroke her dimples chin, “...I wanna fuck you so good, girl. You need to take some good dick.”

“It’s been so long,” she bit into her pouty lip.

“Shit, how long?” He was running his hands through her dreaded strands.

“I feel,” she shivers, “I feel so embarrassed saying it,” Élise’s murmured like she was telling a huge secret.

“You can tell me...don’t be scared, girl.”

“A year,” she closed her eyes.

What the fuck. An entire year. Élise was yearning, longing, craving, and hungry for some dick and attention. Part of Erik wondered if that was one of the reasons why she let him into her home.

“Aye,” Erik soothes her, “that’s a long time, baby girl, but I can help you out with that,” Erik takes her hand to kiss it gently before speaking against her knuckles, “I can make you feel better....”

“Erik.”

“You know you want me to...let me make you feel good...” He kissed her hand again while staring into her eyes. Erik felt her thighs quiver around his waist.

“I got you, ma.”

“Erik,” she kept whispering at him and it had him grunting and painfully hard, “I’m so wet, I can’t believe it...Erik.”

She’s so beautiful. God, Erik needed this right now. He needed her ass.

“Élise, girl, I swear to fucking God-“

“Erik, please, Erik.”

Élise unexpectantly lifts both of her legs to the sink, her entire T-shirt bunched up around her waist now showing Erik all that wet juicy pink. Pussy looking like a wet piece of fruit. A peach drizzled in honey. Tight slit with puffy suckable lips. Erik’s eyes were vicious. He reached out to keep her thighs back since she wanted it that way. Then, in a blink of an eye, he had her pushed back against the mirror with her ass hanging over the edge of that sink.

“Oh? You itchin’ for me, ain’t you? opening up your fucking legs like that. Just telling me I can have it? Girl, I will beat this pussy up right on this motherfucking sink. Fucking playing with me if you want...”

She caved when she saw him spit thickly on her pussy. She drew her lips into her mouth. Élise could feel the saliva practically slap her clit. He was so fucking nasty. She just knew that Erik would have her making all types of noises.

“Still ain’t scared, huh?”

“No.” Her voice shook even though she said no.

Erik’s head went down between her legs. He stuck his tongue out as far as it could go and began licking the underside of her clit back and forth. Élise clenched her teeth, the sounds begging to escape her mouth.

“I don’t hear nothing. If you ain’t afraid why don’t I hear you moaning, baby girl?”

Erik went in again slurping her up and licking in a deadly pattern. She felt him tug on her clit and inner folds. She was ready to cum already.

“Erik, Erik I-Stop it, I’m-Erik, please, please I’m-oh my God you’re-you’re making me-Ooooh you’re making me-“

Like it wasn’t in her own control, Élise moaned as her orgasm erupted from her. Her eyes squeezed shut and the so called animalistic sounds escaped her mouth. She was choking on her moans and she hated that she couldn’t control it but this fucking man...he was eating her. Making up for that year. Every month fueling him to suck and lick on that pussy some more. Even after she came he still covered her with his entire mouth and spit. She waited and waited for him to say she sounded ugly or look at her bizarrely but no. Instead he says...

“Good fucking girl. That’s right, cum in this mouth. Shit, cum all you want, do it, baby girl.”

Thank god for his car breaking down.

“Yes!”

“Uh-Huh, you want some more!”

She nodded her head with vigorously.

“Look at you,” Erik bit his lip while thumbing her clit, “look at you shaking and moaning,” his motions increased, “cumming again? That pussy cummimg for me? she ready to bust for me, Élise?”

“Mmmm, Erikkkk, baybeee!”

“You just keep on going?” He smiled.

“I-I’m sorry,” her body spasmed, “I can make a lot of mess.”

Élise was referring to her squirting habit.

“You can squirt all over Daddy whenever you like,” He inserts two fingers inside of her. She rolled her eyes shut, body vanquished but feeining for more.

“Grabbing my fingers like that? Gon’ head and cum...better yet fuck these fingers. Get you some, ma, pop that pussy on these fingers.”

Her hips lifted to get all of his fingers as he dug deep.

“Ooh...ooh...look at you...got my dick heavy in these pants.”

Élise watched him grab his dick. He was so long. She couldn’t wait to see it. And fuck it. And suck it...

“Damn, shit, I can’t wait to pound that puss.”

She shouted out again, pussy convulsing around his thick fingers. Her throat was raw from how hard she screamed.

“So fucking beautiful. Shit don’t make no sense.”

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh@chaneajoyyy@pananegra@theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah@moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites @crowngold@njadakillthiscookie@blktinkerbell@luvanxi @sheisexcellent1@chocolatedippedinhoney@brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy@soulfulbeauty19@btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted@harleycativy @rbhp@thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone@bugngiz@palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo @truglori @queenflaws @ljstraightnochaser @nickidub718 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark @rent-emspoons @abluesforlyssa

#nahimjustfeelingit writes #killmonger smut #killmonger fic #killmonger x reader #killmonger imagine

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anagentinwriting · 5 years

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Subscribe - Final Part

Summary: (Modern AU) Peter was your college sweetheart until a certain event led to your break up. Seven years later another event brings you two back together, but this time a little girl is in the picture. Will listening to your podcasts be the reason you two get back together or be another reason to keep you apart?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 3790

Warnings: Angst, fluff, swearing

Subscribe Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Peter stepped into Walkman Records feeling good. His head was clear instead of in the throbbing cloudiness it was the previous day. It felt like it was going to be a good day. Sure, it was almost noon, and he had to be at Mer’s parent-teacher conferences in an hour, but he was ready for it.

“Good afternoon, Peter. You’re looking sober today,” Mants grinned as Peter collected his mail from his cubby.

“Ahh yeah,” he nodded at her with a half smirk. Mantis was someone who wasn't afraid to state the obvious, and it's one of the reasons he hired her. He made his way to his office to find Bucky lifting Nat in the air, smiling up at her. “Oh joy, it must be nice being in a healthy relationship. Thanks for rubbing it in.”

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” Bucky asked, gazing at Nat. She nodded at him to continue with a contagious smile on her face. "We're pregnant.”

“Wow, that's ahhh...I don't...congratulations you two,” Peter stated with wide eyes and a half smile. “Didn’t even know you two were trying? I’m happy for you both.”

“Then, why don’t you look happy for us?”

“It’s just you two are moving on with your life, and I'm kind of stuck here.” Peter shrugged, motioning around the room.

“Come on, man.” Bucky squeezed his shoulder. “We wouldn’t leave you behind…you were our first child.”

“I appreciate it,” Peter scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I am really happy for you two though. It will be nice to have another mascot running around here and wreaking havoc.”

“Peter, I--” Nat stammered “--I went to see YN yesterday.”

“What? Why?” He dropped the mail on his desk, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Someone needed to tell her about Bereet, and given your track record, you would've waited another seven years,” Nat confessed, forcing Peter to scoff.

“Why would you do that? I was gonna talk to her, and now you ruined it.”

“Before or after she moved to New York.”

“What...what are you talking about?”

“YN got a promotion to run the new Potts of Honey facility in New York. Why do you think she went there in the first place? To check out the sights?”

“No, no no.” Peter shook his head. “She would’ve told me this.” He stared hard at the floor in defeat. “Do you know when she leaves? Is she taking Mer with her?”

“Better question, why haven't you told her how you feel?"

“Tell her? She fucking hates me.”

“Are you sure it’s hate? Last I heard you said she loves you.” Peter grunted, shaking his head. “Are you going to let her getaway for the 3rd time, or are you going to chase her down?”

“Shut up.” Peter stood there with his eyes moving back and forth, clenching and unclenching his jaw, trying to figure out what to do. “Son of a bitch,” he cursed, running out of the room with his phone in his hand.

“You had to go that far to say she was moving?”

“Lit a match under his ass, didn’t it.”

“It did,” Bucky smirked. "We’re going to make such great parents.”

_________

Everything was set up for this week’s podcast. Pepper was ready to share the exciting news about the expansion of Potts of Honey and the new product lines hitting shelves within the next couple weeks.

“Okay, Darcey, whatever you do. Do not let anyone in the room while we are recording because I hate editing these podcasts. It takes forever.” She nodded. “If you have any questions at all, use the whiteboard.”

“Got it, boss.”

“Great, I will be with you in here until...” Your phone ringing interrupted you. You peeked at the screen, seeing Peter’s name and hit ignore. “...until I get summoned in.” He was on his way to Mers parent-teacher conferences for the first time, and he was either worried or didn’t know what to do.

“You got it, dude.”

“Good,” you replied as Pepper and Wanda walked in. “Ready ladies?”

“Born ready,” Wanda smirked, taking her usual chair in the booth.

“Are you sure about your decision?” Pepper asked you before walking into the booth.

“Yes, I am,” you smiled. “You're more than welcome to announce it over the podcast.”

“Excellent,” she pulled you into a tight hug.

“We will be recording in 5, 4, 3,” you said as you mouthed 2, 1, and pointed at Wanda. You pushed the button to signal the red on-air light above the door outside, so no one would disturb your production.

“Hello, my wonderful listeners. Welcome back to another episode of Everyday’s a Monday. You are all in for a treat today! We are speaking with my boss, the lovely Pepper Potts hyphen Stark. She's speaking about the future of Potts and Honey and new products being released in the coming weeks. Later, YN will be joining us after not saying a word on here for about two episodes now. I have a conspiracy theory about how she might’ve paid our guests to not get her to come on the show. She's shaking her head no, but I know the truth,” she chuckled, getting Pepper crack a smile. “Turns out we also have our new intern, Darcey, helping out in the recording booth. This means YN has no choice but to join us today. But first, play that awesome intro.”

You hit the button to signal the short upbeat catchy tune that plays at the beginning of each podcast. It was a little redundant, but it kept things fun. It also made Everyday’s a Monday stand out and be more recognizable like any opening to your favorite tv show.

“Pepper, it is great to have you back on the show.”

“It’s always fun coming on here and talking with you both.”

“The boss said both, so YN get your ass in here,” Wanda waved you in, and you stepped into the booth.

“You just had to say the magic word, didn’t you, Pepper?” You spoke into your mic and slid your headphones over your ears. You sat in your usual spot right across from Wanda with your back to the door while Pepper sat at the end of the rectangle table.

“Couldn’t help myself,” she laughed.

_______

Parent-teacher conferences went off without a hitch. He gave Mer a few fist bumps as the teacher praised her for how well she was doing in her classes. There was one teacher, who didn’t like how she spoke up in class, but Peter ignored him by nodding along and acting like he was listening. Mer had to nudge him a few times because he zoned out during this teacher's rant. Overall, the teachers love Mer and how open she is to learning. With it being conferences, Mer was able to leave school early for the day, and after telling Mer about his plan, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

Peter walked through the rotating doors of the Potts of Honey headquarters building with Meredith in tow. It was crazy how many buildings were on the grounds, but he assumed they all had a specific purpose. They walked up to the welcome desk seeing three receptionists typing away on their computers.

“Hi, Peter and Meredith Quill here to see YN LN,” Peter said to the lady with blonde hair.

“I’m sorry, sir, but she is unavailable at the moment. I can take a message for her if you’d like.”

“Look--” he reads her nametag “--Sharon, it will take like ten minutes tops.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go up without her approval.” Peter nodded, thanking her for her help, and turned around to leave.

“Hey, Quill.” Peter looked over, seeing Drax waving at him.

“Drax, hey, buddy. I haven’t seen you since you worked security at the Howling Commandos concert.”

“Wild night,” he chuckled.

“This is my daughter Meredith.”

“I know her too well.” Drax held up his hand, giving her a high five. “What brings you here?”

“I need to get up to see YN.”

“Desk lady, I am taking Quill and his daughter on a tour. Give me two badges.” Sharon rolled her eyes, handing them over to him. “This way. Follow me.”

________

“What is this big exciting news you are bouncing up and down to share with us, Pepper?” Wanda questioned, wearing a huge smile on her face. She already knew the news, but she was good at faking enthusiasm when she needed to.

“Yes, well, very recently I sent these two lovely ladies, YN and Wanda, to New York City to scope out properties, and I am happy to announce we will be opening up a new Potts of Honey facility in New York,” Pepper informed while you and Wanda cheered. “And I have more news. YN here will be taking over the Malibu division while I will be heading to New York division. But don’t worry, this podcast will still be airing an episode weekly.”

“Whew, I thought I was out of a job for a second,” Wanda wheezed, wiping her forehead.

“If only,” you chuckled, earning a glare from Wanda before everyone started laughing.

“At least this way, YN has the option to be with Star-Lord.”

“I’m ignoring that for now,” you sighed. “What is going to be different about this facility?”

“It won’t be much different than the one here in Malibu. I pride myself on putting family first and jobs second. It has been my mentality from the beginning, and I don't plan on changing it. I want to hire parents to be or parents who want to return to work after taking a leave to take care of their youngsters. I love working with these types of individuals because they have opinions and know what type of products parents want to see on the market.”

“I still love that mentality to this day,” Wanda confessed. “Like many times before, we did take some questions from the listeners, and we are going to be answering some right now. Many listeners might not have known about the new facility, but some did ponder it. Let’s begin with….”

________

Drax, Peter, and Meredith stepped off the elevator on the top floor of the building. It wasn’t a high building, but the twelfth floor still offered a great view of the grounds. Peter’s mind was running a mile a minute, and he still didn’t know what he was going to say to you. He had a plan, but it was only 12% of a plan which involved convincing you not to leave. He needed you in his life, and he hoped you still needed him, too.

“My dad is going to make a grand gesture to my mom,” Mer told Drax with a cheeky smile.

“Really? Do you think he has a chance?”

“Will you two be quiet? I’m right here.” He glanced behind him as they continued to walk down the long hall.

“We know. Why do you think we are talking so loud,” Drax stated, earning a giggle out of Meredith.

“I was hoping my plan would work. I have been trying to parent trap them like Lindsay Lohan did in that movie before she kind of went crazy.”

“You are one smart girl, Mer, and I’m positive your plan will work,” Drax winked, making an excited smile appear on Mer’s face. “I mean, it worked for Lindsay Lohan, but then she went crazy. I still often wonder what happened to her twin.”

Mer looked at Peter with a confused expression, forcing him to let a raspy chuckle escaped him. “Drax, she doesn’t have a--” Drax stared at him with an intense glare forcing Peter to bite his tongue “--never mind.” Peter shook his head, seeing a door at the end of the hallway with an ON-AIR sign shining above it. “Is this the right door?” Drax nodded as Peter knocked on the door.

“Can I help you security guy, adorable little girl, and the other dude?” The young lady asked, eyeing each of them over as she opened the door.

“Quill here needs to speak to his woman.” Drax patted him on one of his shoulders.

“Dude. Ow.”

“Sorry, but you can’t come in. They’re recording an episode, and YN hates editing, so it’s better if left undisturbed, okay? Buh-bye, thank you, come back later.”

“Wait!” Peter grabbed the door to keep it from closing. “It’s okay; I’m Star-lord.”

“Who?”

“Come on, the amazing mystery dude that YN talks about on this podcast. YN’s ex, who she shares a daughter with.”

“Hence this small human beside us,” Drax informed, motioning to a grinning Mer beside him.

“This is my first time listening to this podcast, so I have no idea who you are. I’m only here for college credit, so no, you’re not coming in.”

“Okay fine, how about I give you.” Peter pulls out his wallet, digging around in it. “Fifty bucks?”

“Well if I get fired over this, I will be out at least $350 for my college credit, so technically I won’t be out anything if you reimbursed me in full.”

Peter sighed, looking unamused but gave in to her demands. He dug through his wallet once more and handed her the rest of the money.

“Come on in fellas.”

_______

“Next question is for Wanda and YN,” Pepper announced, reading the question to herself before reading it aloud. “Oh, this is a good one. What is something you regret from your past and why?”

“Oh, this one is tough,” Wanda added, tapping her finger to her chin. “I would say I regret not traveling more when I was younger since I didn’t have many responsibilities. Now I am kind of tied down, but I still love my life and wouldn’t change a thing. Who asked this question?”

“Oh right, let’s see.” Pepper’s eyes scanned the page. “Peter Quill.”

Your head snapped in Pepper’s direction, but something moving behind you caught the attention of both your co-hosts; Wanda’s mouth dropped open, and Pepper's eyebrows shot up her forehead. You narrowed your eyes at them before turning around to find Peter Quill. Behind him, Darcey held up the whiteboard saying ‘Incoming, Star-Crunch?'

“Peter, what are you...what are you doing here? You’re not allowed to be in here. We’re in the middle of an episode.” You stood up, taking your headset off and setting them around your neck.

“Do you want to know what I regret from my past?”

“No, not right now, Peter. Can we do this later? I’m working.” You put your hands on his chest to try and push him out of the room, but he grabbed your forearms, stopping you. You gazed into his eyes, seeing something you haven’t seen since the night you slept with him.

“Nat told me,” he confessed. “Please don’t move to New York.” You try to say something, but he keeps talking. “You’re in my life again, and I don’t want you to go. I wish things in the past would’ve worked out differently. If I wasn’t such a coward, maybe they would’ve, but this time I’m not gonna let you walk out on me.”

“Peter, I’m not...”

“I’m doing what I should have done a long time ago. Please just let me talk for once,” he interrupted, forcing you to snap your mouth shut. “When I got the call about you being in an accident, right then I knew I didn’t want to lose you again. I didn’t want to lose you for real. Deep down, I always thought we would find each other again,” he confessed, taking your hands into his. “Then, I found out about Meredith. The amazing sweet little girl who showed me what I was missing out on for the last 7 years.” Peter glanced behind him, and you peeked around him to see Mer wearing a toothy grin on her face. She gave him a thumbs up, and you didn’t miss the lopsided smirk spreading across Peter's face as he turned back to you.

“After you woke up, everything happened so fast. We were getting along and rocking this co-parenting thing most parents seem to struggle with. Then, I told you I never cheated, you kissed me, and we slept together. The next day, you told me it was all a mistake, but we both know that wasn’t true,” he murmured, staring into your eyes. “I hate how I hurt you all over again. We both know I have horrible timing when it comes to fixing my wrongs, but I can’t let another day go by without telling you how I feel. You were the one for me. You still are.” Your eyes widened at his confession. “Where will this big grand gesture leave us? I don’t know.

What I do hope for is that you will give me a chance to redeem myself. I want to be there for you and Mer. I want to watch her grow up into an incredible young woman, like you, with you by my side. I want to help you protect her from assholes who will break her heart, but still encourage her to find love and happiness. Even in times when you thought you were never going to get another chance. But before you know it you’re laying your heart on the line, hoping you’re not making a complete ass of yourself," he cleared his throat. “I regret many decisions in my life, but the one thing I regret most was not chasing after you the day you walked away from me. This time, I'm going to fight for you to stay because...well, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I don’t think I ever stop loving you.”

Pepper and Wanda gasped behind you. “Ladies and gents, this is Wanda speaking in a hushed tone. If you haven’t made the connection thus far, Peter Quill is Star-Lord aka Star-Lord is Peter Quill, just to clarify things.” You shook your head, staring at Peter’s chest as she narrated the moment through your headphones.

You squeezed his hands as you let go of one of his and placed it over his heart. His soft gaze sent a flutter to your heart and a blush to your cheeks. “Peter, I’m not going anywhere. Pepper is the one moving to New York while I’m taking things over here. Nat obviously said what she needed to to get you to barge in here,” you added, making him raise his eyebrows at the realization.

“Guess I will have to thank her later.”

“But you’re right about one thing. What happened between us wasn’t a mistake, but I still couldn’t help but think I was the other woman.” You lowered your head, letting out a deep breath. He put his hand under your chin and lifted it to stare into your eyes.

“You are the only woman,” Peter replied, making you crack a small smile.

“My biggest regret was not telling you about Meredith sooner. I guess it was my own selfish pride that I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need you in my life. Truth is, I did, and so did Mer. I didn’t want to see it for myself, but watching you two together warms my heart. I wish I could say I fell out of love with you, but I never did.” You slid your hand from his heart to cup his cheek, and Peter leaned into your touch. He bit down on his bottom lip as he leaned in closer to you feeling his breath become shaky against your lips. He gazed into your eyes before his lips collided with yours.

“Woooo! Their smacking lips now! Get it, girl,” Wanda hollered from her chair as Pepper joined in with her.

“Bought fricken time, am I right, Mer?”

“Yes, you are Auntie Wanda,” Mer replied through your headphones. You didn’t even notice her sneak pass you and Peter.

“Guess all those parent trapping tricks I taught you paid off,” Wanda added, giving Mer a high-five. You pulled away from Peter, resting your forehead against his smiling. “I bet they’re going to get married, now. Would you like that, Mer?”

“Yes, I would love it,” she gushed beside Wanda.

“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, you two.” You glared at them, feeling Peter's chest vibrate from a soft chuckle. “We should at least go out on a not a date date first.”

“Hear that folks, it’s happening. It’s like their first not a date date all over again. Did I predict this or what?” Wanda grinned into her headset.

You looked back at Peter as he shot you a quick wink and your favorite boyish smile. It was the same little sexy smile that drove you crazy all those years ago. You smiled at him, resting your forehead on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. You heard him let out a deep breath, and in your heart, you knew he was always the one for you, and like many great loves, you fell in love with your best friend.

“How about we close out this episode,” Pepper offered.

“Thanks for the assist, Pepper. Come on, Twig. Let's get out of here.” Peter loosened his grip on you and held out his hand for Mer. She grinned, rushing towards him, and Peter leaned down and scooped her up in his arms. You couldn’t stop the heartfelt smile from appearing on your face. Peter grabbed hold of your hand with his other hand as he leaned over to kiss your forehead. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the warmth spread all over your body. When you opened your eyes, you found Peter giving Mer a quick kiss on the forehead, and without saying a word, you knew exactly what he meant.

“Awww, what a cute family,” Wanda commented, snapping a photo with her phone. “This picture is going on our Instagram page, so be on the lookout listeners.”

“And I thought Tony had terrible timing,” Pepper declared with a knowing grin.

“I don’t think we have any more to discuss on this week’s episode, but wasn’t it a great one. We found out Potts of Honey is expanding, Star-Lord’s real identity is none other than Walkman Records owner Peter Quill, and Pepper Potts is going to be leaving us. It’s a sad yet happy day. I’m only hoping this whole episode recorded everything and that YN doesn’t edit anything out, but let’s be real folks she never edits,” Wanda chuckled. “Don’t forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. And as always, don’t forget to subscribe.”

_______

AN: That's all folks. How bout that ending though? The podcast restarted their relationship, so I thought ending with one would be neat. It also might've felt rushed towards the end, but I kind of liked how it turned out. Like, rushing to someone you love in an airport or wherever else you might be. Cleshay, but the rush of excitement at the same time...haha. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it. Glad you stuck with me through the end. Comments are always welcome and as always thanks for reading!

#peter quill #peter quill au #peter quill x reader #peter quill reader insert #peter quill image #Star-Lord #star lord x reader #star lord au #marvel fanfic #marvel #Marvel AU #Guardians of the Galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 #GotG #GOTGVol2 #Chris Pratt

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sunnydaleherald · 5 years

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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, March 10

Darla: Who the hell are you? Buffy: You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Whew, that's a relief, I'm telling you! Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work. Xander: Buffy, we bail now, right? Thomas: Not yet! Buffy: Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge! The vampires close in on her. She turns to Darla. Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way. Darla: That's fine with me! Buffy: Are you sure? Now, this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...

~~Happy 22nd anniversary to Welcome To The Hellmouth (and The Harvest)!~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Lesson in Sharing (Angelus/Darla, Drusilla/Spike, E) by Cornerofmadness

Face (Buffy/Spike, T) by Cohava

Of Popcorn and the Multiverse (Willow/Fred, T) by thewiggins

Three Sentence Fics: To Kill a Demon (Buffy/Spike, T) by thewiggins

L'épanouissement (Buffy/Spike, G, in French) by MissKitty28

A Safe Musical Place (Xander, Oz, T) by Katrina1985

Kirby (Willow/Reader, not rated) by Aaron

In the Shadow of the Stones (Buffy, Dawn, T) by D. M. Evans

Drabbles and Micro Fics (Buffy/Spike, G) by thewiggins

[Chaptered Fiction]

Recovery, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Angel, T) by vixangel

Too Good to Be True, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Slayerette16

What You Do Afterwards: Season Three, Chapter 82 (AtS Ensemble, T) by myheadsgonenumb

Need a second to breathe, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Axell

The Humanity, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, R) by holetoledo

Any Day Above Ground is a Good Day, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ChexRancher3

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: Buffy drawing by captainjackspoilers

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: I Was Made To Love You/Reprise by Chosen – Buffy The Vampire Slayer Watch Through

[Community Announcements]

Fluff Bingo Round 2 (Signups begin March 15) by electric_heart

[Fandom Discussions]

Anya did NOT deserve better than Xander by millennialslayer

Re: Bangel for the angsty asks! (Do they have a lot of arguments? etc.) by we-pay-for-everything

Re: top 5 buffy scenes that made u wanna die in bad way by buffyslehane

Re: your top 5 spuffy scenes by buffyslehane

Re: Top five unpopular BtVS opinions? by buffyslehane

I’m probably the only one creeped out by the fact the quote of bangel is always my girl... by omgjay1988

Reflections on how far LGBT+ representation on TV has come over my lifetime [discussion of Willow and Tara] by allofthismatters

Riley after Season 4 by womanaction

Re: What is your take on when angelus says in order to kill the girl you have to be in love with her? by foreverbangel

Missing the high school years by DayDreamer27

Discussion of 4.12 "A New Man" by FaithLehane16

Discussion of 6.13 "Dead Things" by Multiple posters

Discussion of 6.14 "Older and Far Away" by Mr Trick

Discussion of 6.15 "As You Were" by Multiple posters

Discussion of 6.16 "Hell's Bells" by Multiple posters

Discussion of 6.17 "Normal Again" by Multiple posters

Discussion of 6.18 "Entropy" by Multiple posters

Happy Birthday Buffy! by Multiple posters

New Buffy series from BOOM! by Multiple posters

How vengeance demons break the 'Verse by Multiple posters

Angel in HD..? by EverydayThinking

Is there a map with Buffy/Angel filming locations on it? by thisguy49

What would make Angel lose his soul? by jaelynmay

Most Satisfying & Least Satisfying Big Bad deaths by LinoliuMKnifE

Did Lily/Chanterelle follow Caleb? by amathus4321

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

INSTAGRAM: On this date in 1997 Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered... by David Boreanaz

INSTAGRAM: 22 years ago today, the show that changed my life, debuted on a little known network, the wb. by Sarah Michelle Gellar

SCREENRANT: 5 Times Willow Saved The Buffyverse (And 5 Times She Put Everyone In Danger) by Liz Hersey

#btvs #ats #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series

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peacefulheartfarm · 3 years

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A Day in the Life on Our Homestead

A day in the life on our homestead. My brother-in-law says we are always working. He is so right. And we love it. There is never a dull moment around here. For sure, sometimes it seems like just too much and wouldn’t a life of leisure be preferable. No, not really. As I imagine that life, I can only see boredom and always searching for something new and interesting. Here we don’t have to search for it as it comes to us every single day. Today I’ll give you an overview of a whirlwind day I recently experienced.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much. I’m so excited to share with you what’s going on at the farm this week.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

I’m going to skip most of the updates on the animals as they will show up in my rendition of a day in the life on our homestead. I will just briefly mention that Sweet Pea and Johnny are still looking for a new “forever home”. We love them but we simply do not need four donkeys. We intentionally reduced our sheep population and now the coyotes have reduced it even further. It will take time to rebuild what we have lost. In the end, we will still have only a small number of sheep, perhaps a dozen or so, compared to our high of 70 animals in the flock.

We are winding down our cashmere goat herd this fall. Next up will be bringing in a few Kiko goats. Perhaps I will do a whole podcast on this breed of goat. They were bred in New Zealand. The wild goats were bred with domestic stock to create a breed that is disease and parasite resistant. And my favorite attribute they bred for was little to no hoof maintenance. Most domestic goats in the US have a really hard time with their hooves. I look forward to raising goats that can be comfortable on their feet without constant attention.

That’s it for now. I want to get on to the topic of a day in the life on the homestead. I hope you enjoy this brief glimpse of the story of our life.

A Day in the Life

Our day begins the same every morning. Scott and I pray the rosary together. It’s a great meditation and starts our day off in the right frame of mind. God first.

Morning Milking

Now we get ready for morning milking. There isn’t much for me to as Scott handles most of the milking tasks. I handle some of the cleanup at the end. The only thing I have for this morning is to tend to the baby quail chicks. I make sure they have food and fresh water. The little ones get checked on twice a day. The grownups, only in the evening. Everyone looks good this morning and they are happy to have food and water.

Morning Gardening

Scott is still working on the milking so I take the opportunity for a brief walk through the garden. I decide to harvest some fresh herbs for the farmer’s markets. It’s a spur of the moment decision just because I have some time and it’s a beautiful morning to be in the garden. I sprint back to the house, pick up some scissors and a bucket and I’m back out in the garden in a flash. I love cutting fresh herbs. This morning it’s basil leaves, oregano sprigs and bunches of thyme. The smell is heavenly. The herbs are quickly stored in the cooler. I will package them later – probably tomorrow.

Making a Snack

I need to have protein snacks quickly available. Hard boiled eggs are one of my favorites. My Corsori, an Instapot lookalike, can handle 18 eggs at a time. Six minutes under pressure, six minutes cool down and natural pressure release, followed by a quick pressure release and open the lid. Six minutes in a cold-water bath, then peel. I like using my pressure cooker because the shells always just fall off when I am peeling them.

We generally eat just two meals a day. Scott makes us brunch somewhere between 10:00 am and 1:00 pm. It is usually in that 11:00 to 12:00 range. If I plan well, dinner will be around 5:00 pm for me. Scott’s dinner is always much later. Well, not always, but usually his preference is to work outside right up until milking time in the evening. He will eat after all of that is done and he has had a shower. That’s an Italian evening meal time around 9:00 or 10:00 in the evening. Sometimes he even gets the Italian siesta in the afternoon. Most times not though.

Starting Strawberry Jam

I’ve got four quarts of strawberries that need to be attended to today. I’ll be making jam. I love strawberry jam. It’s a quick job to cut out the stems and dice them up. Two quarts of cut berries and six cups of sugar. I’ll add a dash of lemon to help maintain the bright red color.

Well, the strawberries are mixed with the sugar in the pot on the stove, but I’ve got to interrupt that process and forego the cooking and canning part. I’ll cover the pot with a clean towel and get back to it in a little while. This is a day in the life on the homestead. We need to take care of some animals. I have cream warming up in the butter churn. There is still about an hour before it will be warm enough to churn into butter. It should be possible to get it all done in time.

Cattle Husbandry

The flies have been horrendous. We have two suffering from pink eye. In humans we call it conjunctivitis. It is a bacterial infection of the eye. The flies irritate the eye and make it susceptible to the bacteria. The flies are also spreading it from one to another. Anyway, we put antibiotic cream directly in the eye and then followed up with injectable antibiotic. We are as natural as possible in raising and caring for our livestock. However, I’m sure you have heard me say this before, if they need medical treatment, they get it. In this case, blindness is a real possibility if the condition is left untreated.

We spent quite some time checking on each and every cow to make sure there were only two affected. I even treated Newton, the youngest calf at three weeks of age. This was prophylactic just in case. The younger calves are often the most susceptible. He looked fine but we treated him anyway. Just the cream, not the injection.

Time Trials

The whole process took more time than I had planned. There were four different groups of animals. There are the milking girls. Then there is the group we call the nursery girls. We do not milk them, but they are nursing calves three calves between the two of them. We also have Luna in that group. She is a heifer and has no calf. And Buttercup is also in that group. She did not have a calf this year. The boys are always in a group by themselves because two of them are bulls. They can’t just run with the girls. That would be a breeding disaster. And then there was Virginia and baby Newton. All in all, it took longer than the hour I had set aside but the cream was still in good shape for making butter.

Making Butter

I’m back inside now running the electric butter churn while the strawberries are heating up and cooking for the jam. It’s a little risky to do both of these things at once as they both have a break point that must be met. I gambled anyway. I figured the butter would get done long before the strawberries and sugar reached the gel point. It didn’t.

I don’t use pectin in my jams. I just cook it to gel point. That usually takes about 40 minutes or so. The butter got done just a few minutes before the jam reached the gel point. So, what do I do now? Well, I just turn the churn off and let the butter sit in the churn until I can get to it. I still had to be quick. The problem there is that the warmer the butter gets, the harder it is to work with. It is literally melting in my hands if it gets too warm.

Finishing the Strawberry Jam

The jam is ready. I quickly fill the jars, clean the rims, secure the lids and put them in the water-bath canner. Now I have time for the butter. It will take a while for the water to heat up to a rolling boil for the jam. Once it reaches that point, it is just a matter of setting a timer for how long to process the jam. That’s 20 minutes at my altitude.

I clean up the butter by rinsing it over and over with cold water. Then squish it firmly into 4 oz silicon soap molds and put the mold tray into the freezer. Tomorrow I will remove it from the freezer and pop out and wrap each 4 oz block of butter in paper. Now that the butter is in the freezer and the jam is processing in the canner, all of the clean-up for these two tasks is happening. I’m pretty messy when filling jars. There are bits of jam all over. And the butter? That requires lots of soap to get all that greasy mess in the churn, the bowls and utensils cleaned up. Whew, it feels good to get all that done. What’s next? Yes, there is more.

Making Blueberry Jam

Now I’m ready to make blueberry jam. I smashed them, added the sugar and got started heating them up. That takes a while. I have time to get more jars ready for the blueberry jam. The jars of strawberry jam are finished and need to come out of the water-bath canner. I’ll keep the water in it near boiling waiting for the blueberry jam. That makes the second batch quicker as the time to reach boil after adding the jars will be shorter. As the blueberry jam nears the gel point, I’m stirring constantly to keep it from sticking. Make sure to have my clothes covered. It begins to spit out blueberry goo all over the place. Stir more to keep that under control. That’s another mess to be cleaned up later.

Now it’s reached gel point, repeat the filling of jars, adding lids and put them in the canner. I’m a little tired but there is still so much to do. I think I’ll take a much-needed short break while this second batch of jam is processing. I have about 45 minutes or so to relax.

Weekly Newsletter

It’s now late afternoon and I need to create the weekly newsletter for all who are following what we are up to on the homestead. I like communicating with all of my customers and those who just follow us because they like hearing about our progress on the homestead.

It’s important to get the information out weekly. There are always updates and changes to what is happening at the farmer’s markets. I’ve done this so many times, that I have made the process quick and efficient. The newsletter is done and out in the email ethers. Now it’s probably time for evening milking and other chores.

Evening Chores

We start each milking event by warming up Newton’s milk. He gets two half-gallon calf milk bottles morning and evening. That’s two gallons per day. As a side note, tomorrow, I’ll spend quite a bit of time filling up gallon jars for just this purpose. We store his milk in one-gallon jars. Twice a day we put a gallon jar in a bucket of hot water. After about a half hour, we pour out the now cold water and refill it with hot water again. In another half hour it is warm enough for him to drink ready to be poured into the calf bottles.

All of this minutia becomes second nature as we do it twice a day. Go get the cows, get them prepped for milking, turn on the machine and put the milking inflations on their teats. Wait for about six minutes and they are done. Two at a time so there is a second round for Violet. The milk gets filtered and poured into five-gallon cans which are stored in the bulk cooling tank. The milk must be cooled to below 40 degrees in less than two hours. Then the clean-up procedures begin.

While Scott is doing those milking tasks, I’m taking care of the quail. The babies get food and water again. I collect eggs from the big girls, give them feed, and check their automatic watering system. I refill the 5-gallon bucket that automatically feeds into little cups in their cages as needed. Not a lot to do here, but a daily tasks nonetheless.

Clean Up Time

At the end is lots of clean up. Calf bottles, milk filter, milking machine – all have to be meticulously cleaned and sanitized. Then dinner, a shower and it’s time to wind down for the evening. For me that is usually around 8:00 or 8:30. Scott is sometimes just eating dinner at 9:00 or 9:30 – he may or may not have had that wonderful shower.

Tomorrow’s To-Do List

There is a lot more to do tomorrow. It will be Thursday. I need to get ready for the farmer’s markets on Friday and Saturday. That means making labels for those two new jams. And do you remember those herbs I cut early this morning? Yeah, those have to be packaged. I have three more half-gallons of cream and need to make another butter. I’m not sure how I got behind on that, but it will be good to catch up.

The Milk

All milk cans need to be emptied and cleaned. I’ll pour milk into 14 one-gallon jars for feeding Newton for the next week. And I will pour up milk for Friday and Saturday herd share pickups. I’ll need a gallon and a half of milk put back to make yogurt on Monday or Tuesday next week. I may even pour up some drinking milk for us. Any remaining milk gets the cream skimmed off the top. I store the cream in half gallon jars.

The Cream

The remaining cans usually have enough cream to skim to make one batch of butter. That will also happen next week on Tuesday or Wednesday. I make three pounds of butter at a time, usually once a week. I’ll have some extra cream to add back into the skim milk to make Scott’s half and half. He loves his coffee. In the end, there will be leftover skim milk and that gets poured on the garden. The green beans and tomatoes are loving that milk fertilizer. They look amazing.

Not a Typical Day in the Life

The day I just described is not every day, but it is very often the life that I live. It is wonderful. Actually, on most days, I laze around and would only make one batch of jam and maybe no butter. Some days, Scott takes a nap in the middle of the day or comes in and just vegges out on Facebook or YouTube. Sometimes he is doing more than vegging out. Sometimes he is sharing his day in the life on our Facebook page. If you are not following us there, please do. You get my perspective here, and Scott’s perspective can be found on the Facebook page with pictures and videos. Just search for Peaceful Heart Farm and it should come right up. Like us and share our content.

Well, I got tired just talking about all of that. I think I’ll end early today. We have that luxury any time we want – within limits. The cows still need to be milked twice daily and the quail need daily care. But other than that, we set our schedule.

Final Thoughts

So, my brother-in-law says we seem to always be working and when is age going to slow us down? We hope that’s a long way in the future. I’m 66 and Scott will be 66 next month. This lifestyle keeps us fit. We get to eat healthy food that we have produced ourselves. Or at the very least, we know the farmer from which we purchased those eggs and hydroponic lettuce. And the blueberries and strawberries that went into the jams came from local farmers as well. We all grow good food and support each other.

I hope you enjoyed that walk through a day in my life. As I said, every day is not that busy, but I really enjoy the challenge in finding out how much I can accomplish in a day. I’m not crazy enough to do it every day though. I also need to spend time sitting at my computer making podcasts for you guys. I love you so much. Thank you so much for listening and sharing our joy.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, again, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 5 years

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8/9/19 12:34 AM the super update. aka get your shit together Endgame post 1/?

Well. Here I am. It’s hard to even approach this post, to be honest. I’ve been procrastinating for so long. So long that it’s actually the last real thing I have left on my to do list.

Check this out.

I’ve been working hard at doing things lately. And catching up with you is basically the last thing left to do.

I finally spring cleaned all of my clothes and got rid of a ton of stuff that didn’t fit one way or another.

I started playing guitar again.

I got my shit together with my job, got a bunch of online credits that I’d been procrastinating on. Started doing all the possible work I could every night to make my boss happy and it’s been making me a fuckton more money tbh.

I’ve bought a bunch of cool shit, and been treating myself right with my food. I gained a bunch of weight back during the past year during my relationship with Andi. It’s not a terrible thing, I was treating myself. She convinced me that I deserved to treat myself and enjoy myself and that’s not a bad thing. But now I’m doing what I call Keto+, which is Keto+Beer lmfao.

I’m still going out drinking whenever I want, but for my meals I’ve stopped eating breads and rice and pasta, mostly just eating chipotle (just graduated to doing salads instead of bowls with light rice, though I wasn’t eating the rice just a bite here and there), sashimi from Hmart, lately once in a while a five guys lettuce wrap burger, back to doing salami and mozzarella at home.

I’ve taken to fasting once a week on my thursday night shift (tonight), to try to accelerate the weight loss, but it’s not like my pov diets before because I’m still eating nuts.

It’s been a progression of increasing the amount I’ve been running (from one day to two days, to usually two maybe three days a week now, and the distance is a lot longer now), and cutting off more and more little cheats. E.g. the biggest was finally embracing sparkling waters instead of gatorade. I finally got to try Spindrift off a recommendation from a magic the gathering podcast, and it’s incredible. Only like 3 calories a can and it actually tastes good from the real juice and not bitter in the aftertaste.

But anyway, I’ve got plenty of money now. My debts are paid, I’m ahead on bills, I’ve got all the sweet clothes I wanted, so I finally made the call last week.

It’s time to fix my car’s bumper. I’ll try to remember to get one last picture of lexi before I fix her broken front tooth.

Do you know what that means?

It’s the Endgame.

The Get Your Shit Together List I put together years ago... well let’s take a look at what’s left of it. The sad thing about digital to do lists is you don’t see the progression though. Wish I knew what was on there. I think a lot of it was losing weight, but I skipped the whole being healthy part before.

God damn, man.

Doc last edited Oct 2, 2018. I guess I started writing this plan out Jan 2017. I think my biggest priorities then were to cut down spending and pay off my debts.

I never started exfoliating lol. I wonder if I should do that for my nose.

I didn’t give ashleigh her plane credit part because fuckit. I did end up using mine though, to take that trip to Hawaii to visit John. Pretty fucking baller. I guess that was another big step towards getting my shit together, too.

Quit melee, but now I’ve been playing again playing jigglypuff just to hang out with my roommates. It’s really neat not grinding falco, even though I lose a lot the game’s a lot more fun again.

OH MY GOD THOSE BLUE STORAGE CUBES. When I fucking talked about spring cleaning clothes? THATS what I meant. I’ve literally had this shit on my to do list for two YEARS hahahahah. About goddamn time. Holy fuck.

Got my deviated septum fixed, didn’t cost nearly that much thank the lawd.

Just went to the dentist, my teeth are doing great. Ironically they mentioned that I need to consider replacing one of the fillings that I mention getting here eventually.

I did finally get a new laptop and backup the old one, uploaded that info to throw it out about two weeks ago.

Actually got sweet ass new shoes booya checkem

I’m not vaping anymore, the whole juul pod fad never hit me. I’m doing cigarettes still, for better or for worse. Lol. I’ll take the cancer I know over the one I don’t.

But it’s better than I was when I was writing this list, I used to have to smoke one every single day after work. Maybe that was because I was hungry, but it was always this poignant craving on the back porch that I remember. Now I just like smoking when I drink mostly, but have the occasional one to chat with people or whatever.

Playing guitar again, not frequently, might start at work more since I’m playing the electric since I don’t have an acoustic available. Maybe I’ll even learn these songs. Playing guitar is great though, I kinda wanna be in a band sometime. That’d be fucking neat. Someone invited me to sing for his drunkenly at karaoke lol I should hit him up it’s been a minute.

Got my nintendo switch, which I think was so far out of consideration that I deleted it from the fun stuff section.

Who’d have thought I’d ACTUALLY start running and drinking water more. I guess I’m the greatest lmao.

Yeah man, like 15 pounds over the past 2 months. I think a lot of it was easy food weight, but it’s felt really rewarding all the same. Gotta keep it up, this 175 hurdle has been a tough nut to crack, but I’m gonna be really proud of myself once I get into the 160s territory again. I’m doing pullups slightly more, maybe I need to do the whole situps-pushups-pullups regimen right before/after running to really push it. Idk, i’m just glad i’m being good about it.

I’m even flossing once a week now.

Things are really shaping up.

But with money in my bank account there are three options that I have.

1. Save it by buying stocks

2. Blow it by buying a bunch of dumb shit

3. Finish off the to do list and actually get my bumper fixed.

I wanted to ignore 3 because it feels like a dumb expense for a minor aesthetic, but I guess in view of all these things I’ve accomplished it really does mean quite a bit more than that. So I made a claim on a ding on the side of my car and I’m gonna see if I can get it all fixed up. I’ve actually taken on a few extra days of work lately and made even MORE extra money, so I don’t think it should knock me back financially at all. Which means that it’s time.

I’m finally doing it.

It feels really cool. I’m a little bit anxious about it in the sense that it’s gonna be annoying if they deny me getting the bumper fixed because of the collision damage that I never reported. But whatever we’ll cross that bridge in a few weeks when I get the damage inspected and see what happens.

This has been my brag post. Hope you were able to tolerate it all. But that’s only the first phase of catching up. It’s only been a half hour of writing! I’ve got a lot of time left at work tonight and I might even spend a lot of this weekend at Darlin’s catching up if I have to. Catching up with this blog is as big a part of getting my shit together as scheduling my appointment with the car insurance was.

So what I mean to say is we’re gonna catch all the way through my greensboro days up to now. I have some saucy tales and some not-so-saucy ones. I’ve got a full relationship to blab about, and honestly one thing that I had promised her and was on a bunch of my old to do lists was to do like a whole pro-con listing about her persona, which felt weird and I kept procrastinating on but god dammit I’m gonna get everything off my to do lists.

So I looked back a little and it looks like the last posts I made were about sally, Becky, whatever the hell my dealings with Taylor were, and the beginnings of Mary. Which means that we’re gonna flesh out Mary, and then you’ve got Sophie, Rachel, Olivia, Andi, Jennifer, Heather, and Jill to look forward to. Whew baby.

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dropbee7-blog · 5 years

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Cold Takes: A Look At Chicago’s Sloppy Win At San Francisco

We’ve all seen the “Hot Takes” from the last weekend’s games all over the net.

In this series, I’m letting some time pass, and after reviewing the game tape a couple of times, I’m going to share some “Cold Takes” about the Bears pulling out a tough win over the San Francisco 49ers and staying alive for a bye in the playoffs. I’ll also sprinkle in a few thoughts about our division rivals. These are just a series of my thoughts and observations about the game as well as the Bears in general up until this point, presented in no particular order.

My game ball goes to Danny Trevathan. Not only did he have a huge, game saving pick, he also played on whale of a game from the first snap to the last. Honorable mentions go to Roquan Smith, Akiem Hicks, Khalil Mack, Eddie Goldman, Sherrick McManis, Deon Bush, Prince Amukamara, Kyle Fuller and last but certainly not least Leonard Floyd.

Leonard Floyd is the monster that we wanted out of him when we drafted him. These last six weeks, after he was fully healthy from the knee (from last season) and the hand, the man has been money. Literally. He’s about to get PAID.

Speaking of Floyd, if he starts this weekend I do believe we’ve got a couple of signature bets that get won... It will be interesting to see if the people who bet their sigs that Floyd wouldn’t start the entire season will “remember” that they did so.

No, before you ask, I am not the sig-bet police.

As usual, I’ve not got much to say about Mitchell Trubisky, mostly because everybody else talks about him a lot. Mitch had great numbers, but unlike what was reported on the radio, he had NOT seen the defensive holding flag when he launched that horrible throw into the end zone that was picked off. He just plain missed, and we got lucky.

THOSE types of passes are what we can’t have in the playoffs from Mitchell. He doesn’t have to win games by himself (he can HELP though), but he cannot allow himself to lose games. That was a Rex Grossman type throw, and we just need to not have any more of those.

Jordan Howard needs 176 yards to break 1,000 for the season (last time I checked). I’d like to see the Bears give Howard 40 carries and see if he can break that mark... because if they do that, and if he did, we win this ballgame this week. Minnesota is actually really struggling with the run (if you take out the LOLions & Packers games, because they can’t run on an NAIA team let alone an NFL team).

Richard Sherman’s explanations about the proper way to hit other players in the helmet when in a fight were interesting. Never punch, always swat with an open hand... they feel it more and you don’t hurt yourself. Sherman has a lot of experience doing this. I wonder why a lot of players think he’s a dirtbag?

We only dressed 4 WR’s, and when Anthony Miller and Josh Bellamy were ejected for fighting that left us with two wideouts for the rest of the game. For a lot of teams this would be a problem, but for Chicago? We just slotted Tarik Cohen and one of our pass catching tight ends out there and pressed on.

Think about this one, how things have changed. We only dressed four WR’s and one of them was Bellamy... and everybody was happy about it.

I asked the boys at The Chicago Audible Podcast (CLICKY) (formerly Da Bears Brothers Podcast) in their December 19 Q&A show (CLICKY) if they thought Joshua Bellamy had earned a multi year deal, and the fellas agreed that he had. Truth compels me to admit a bit of trolling here, I’m a long time listener and fan of the show, and over the history of the show the boys have not been noted as the biggest Bellamy fans... in fact, they pretty well universally had him cut during the pre-season roster episode.

So what do you good people think, does Joshua Bellamy deserve a multi-year contract along the lines of a Sherrick McManis deal? I think he absolutely does.

The more I watch Matt Nagy on tape... later after the game’s emotions settle down... the more impressed I am by how quickly he reads the defenses and throws changes at them.

This will probably make you roll your eyes, but I am dead serious. Matt Nagy slots in age between Drew Brees and Tom Brady. With what he has between his ears, if he can throw the ball AT ALL, he could be a winning quarterback in the NFL today. Make the read, get the ball out, boom. Of course, the first hit might put him in intensive care, but... hey, dreaming doesn’t hurt :)

BOOM!

Speaking of BOOM!...

Chicago Bears fans need to make BOOM! work, and we need to start in the playoffs. Seriously, this HAS to be a thing. Can you imagine the power and shock of 60,000 rabid Bears fans... and their players on the sidelines... doing the Matt Nagy BOOM!

I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Matt Patricia. We got the right Matt.

Green Bay has played a lot better since they fired their coach after losing at home to the hapless Arizona Cardinals.

I’m still laughing so hard it hurts... Green Bay lost at home to the Arizona Freaking Cardinals. The likely first team in the draft. With a healthy Aaron Rodgers. Excuse me, I’m about to die laughing.

Gasp. OK, got my breath back now. Whew.

Don’t look now, but Jon Gruden is still and idiot.

OK, there’s really only one huge thing to talk about with the 49ers and Bears, and of course it’s Robbie Gould. Robbie, a Bear forever no matter where and how long he plays, sure is missed, but even he admits he was needing a change his last year in Chicago. Personally, I think that change could have come by getting him a new position coach and coordinator to fix his mechanical issues and help him focus, but Ryan Pace decided to save some coin and cut him.

That’s worked out great for Robbie, but terrible for the Bears. Robbie has been even more automatic since he left than he was in his prime here. Of course, in San Fran land he’s kicking in much better conditions than Chicago, but still, the dude is on fire.

Bold prediction time. Robbie is a free agent, and appears to be happy in San Francisco... but he lives in Chicago, loves Chicago and the Bears need to upgrade in the kicking department. My bold (and very unlikely to come true) prediction is that Chicago eats the rest of Parkey’s contract and signs Robbie this off-season as a free agent on a 3-year deal. Robbie would rather live here with his family than out of an apartment out there...

Yeah, I know, that last one is more a pipe dream than reality, but a fan can hope.

As usual, I asked my fellow WCG contributors if they had any cold takes to share... you just know they did...

Eric C. Duerrwaechter

I sure do miss Robbie Gould. And the rest of the Bears’ fanbase certainly does as well. It bites not having a kicker who’s as automatic as Gould was during his prime, even through today. With that said, the objective should be touchdowns, not field goals. Yes, Ryan Pace and his staff should look into adding competition next year at the Kicker position. Then again, this offense is light years away from the old mindset of controlling the clock and settling for field goals if need be. Matt Nagy and this team want touchdowns, nothing less. And, well, I do not feel Parkey is nearly as bad as Connor Barth was for his time in Chicago.

It’s also comforting to see Mitchell Trubisky continuing to improve after his stinker against the Rams two weeks ago. As he displayed against the Packers just a week prior, Trubisky utilized his athleticism as a tool to buy time for his receivers to get open against zone coverage. He took a few sacks at San Fran against a decent front seven, yet he didn’t seem overly rattled when pressure was applied. Instead, he looked downfield, made quick decisions, and threw bullets with anticipation and accuracy. That is something I have waited to see consistently for a while now. Oh, and he is in the midst of a 7-game winning streak as the Bears’ starting QB. The last time any QB won 7 in a row? 2006, with Rex Grossman; a QB comparison that Trubisky has certainly outperformed.

And now, time to get a little hot...

Screw all the talk from ESPN and other pundits about needing an MVP caliber QB to reach the Super Bowl. Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl in 2000 with the Baltimore Ravens despite not even touching 2,000 yards in 11 starts while passing 12 TDs to 11 Ints. Joe Flacco won a Super Bowl in 2012 with a great defense while posting mediocre stats as a QB. Peyton Manning rode a great defense to the Super Bowl in 2015 despite having his worst year as a pro. He, Manning, threw 17 interceptions compared to just 9 touchdowns. And, just last year, a back-up in Nick Foles became the 2nd ever backup QB to win a Super Bowl. I would say Trubisky is better than any of those QBs were in the aforementioned seasons, and he’s good enough to win a Super Bowl with this season thanks to a scary Bears defense paired with a smart coaching staff.

Rant. Over.

Josh Sunderbruch

I don’t blame Ryan Pace for moving on from Robbie Gould at kicker. It needed to happen, and it was a decision based on performance (not pay). However, I absolutely do blame Ryan Pace for the parade of ineptitude that has made its way through the position since Gould was cut. Better kickers were available, yet Pace has provided the Bears with a motley collection that has gone 56/74 (<76%) since 2015.

Superfans

OK, Chicago Bears fans, there you have it. What do you think? Spill the beans!

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2018/12/27/18157612/cold-takes-a-look-at-chicago-bears-sloppy-win-at-san-francisco-49ers-danny-trevathan-mitch-trubisky

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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junker-town · 5 years

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Nike’s self-lacing shoes must be charged like a goddamn cell phone lmao

Plus, the Wizards and Knicks mimic an iconic London photo, Russell Westbrook’s son runs like him, and more.

Nike introduced new basketball shoes this week, which weren’t just any kind of basketball shoes. They’re called the Adapt BB, and they’re self-lacing, bluetooth-enabled sneakers. Not speakers. Sneakers.

They debuted last week and NBA players have already been wearing them on court. Jayson Tatum, Luka Doncic, De’Aaron Fox, and Kyle Kuzma are just a few that gave them actual run this week on the court.

Some things I like:

I think they actually don’t look half bad!

There are no laces, and I really like that. The shoes also light up when you tighten or loosen them, and the user can choose the color.

Do I need shoes that light up? Nope. Do they look cool anyway? Yep. My parents never let me get the light up shoes as a kid, so maybe this is where I finally get my revenge and wear these around as a grown adult.

Watch me change the color of the lights on the Nike Adapt BB. pic.twitter.com/jMoPQoAnTR

— Anton Roxas (@MrPureBusiness) January 15, 2019

They have tons of WNBA players in on the marketing, which makes me quite happy

A’ja Wilson, Breanna Stewart, and Kelsey Mitchell all got plenty of love in this campaign.

View this post on Instagram

Nike just revealed the first power-lacing basketball sneaker, and @aja22wilson, @breannastewart30 and @kelz_hoop are the newest faces of the @nikebasketball Nike Adapt BB campaign. The Nike Adapt BB is now available for Nike plus members for a price tag of $350 #WNBAKicks #NBAKicks #Nike #Jordans #Kyrie #KyrieIrving #AjaWilson #BreannaStewart #NikeAdaptBB #NikeBasketball #Sneakerhead #Basketball #NBA #WNBA #KOTD

A post shared by WNBA Kicks (@wnbakicks) on Jan 15, 2019 at 7:09am PST

Some things I don’t like.

YOU HAVE TO CHARGE THEM ON A CHARGER.

We aren’t talking enough about this. With what these shoes offer, I’m not trying to charge my shoes at night. I mean, LOL. What if I forget to charge them? Does that mean I can’t tie them? What if they go dead while on my feet? What happens then — can I not untie them?

I have enough chargers that I need to keep on me. I don’t need to charge my shoes too. Whew.

I understand a charge last two weeks but that’s actually so long that I’d never remember if I charged them or not.

It’s 2019 and we’re talking about shoe chargers.

Each pair of Nike Adapt BB comes with a wireless charging pad, charge lasts about 2 weeks pic.twitter.com/QdoeJIMgkR

— J23 iPhone App (@J23app) January 15, 2019

In all seriousness though, Nike has bigger dreams than this with a Bluetooth-enabled shoe. This is just step one. The Verge’s Ashley Carman — who also hosts Why’d You Push that Button, of the best podcast on the internet — reviewed the shoes from Nike HQ herself, if you’d like to learn more about them.

Onto the rest of this week’s B-sides.

This Wizards had the best post from London.

Come together, right now... pic.twitter.com/5JsjGYcXn8

— Washington Wizards (@WashWizards) January 16, 2019

The Knicks ... did not.

THE KNICKS CAN’T EVEN GET ABBEY ROAD CORRECT. WHY ARE THERE FIVE PEOPLE??

Across the universe ☮️ #NBALondon ( @WashWizards) pic.twitter.com/ICooNWwuDd

— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) January 16, 2019

Get ready for the Russ and Noah Westbrook takeover

It was only a matter of time before this duo began to give us the best content we’ve ever seen. Just look at Noah!

Who wore it best? Jk we all know it’s Noah. pic.twitter.com/zt4EyGvmgU

— OKC THUNDER (@okcthunder) January 17, 2019

And he’s already out of control, running faster than he should. Just like his dad.

Noah Westbrook practicing with his dad @okcthunder pic.twitter.com/s7vxuz3ndP

— SB Nation (@SBNation) January 18, 2019

What a great pair.

Is this the greatest Kawhi Leonard quote of all time?

“You stupid. This ain’t Burberry. It’s New Balance.”

KYLE X KAWHI POST GAME BANTER pic.twitter.com/FxRtQFY4Ak

— William Lou (@william_lou) January 14, 2019

Klay Thompson texting during his post game interview

The funny part isn’t just that he was texting, because it’s Klay and I expect such things. Nor is it that he has a dunk bet going on with Zaza Pachulia, because that’s also expected.

It’s the way in which he read aloud every single word as he typed his reply.

Klay Thompson learns he is beating Zaza Pachulia 11-1 in dunks this season, says he’s going to text Zaza that stat, then does it — mid interview pic.twitter.com/T0xEhukU6p

— Anthony Slater (@anthonyVslater) January 16, 2019

“You ... have ... one ... dunk ... I ...have ... 11 ... this ... year....pay me.”

Oh yes, the #10yearchallenge.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t love this little challenge the Internet was doing. There was zero way I posting a picture of me from 10 years ago, and to be real, I didn’t need to see yours either.

But, I’ll admit, I enjoyed these NBA versions.

Russ and Nina

View this post on Instagram

#10yearchallenge 2009-2019 w/ my ❤️ a lot has changed, and a lot has stayed the same...

A post shared by Nina Westbrook (@ninaamarie_w) on Jan 15, 2019 at 11:47pm PST

CJ and Lauren

View this post on Instagram

all time favorite pic of us. 2009 the first time we met in SLC and a recent pic on Mommy and Daddy vacay. aging gracefully eyebrows got thicker. makeup got better. hair doesn't look a hot mess. beard grew in and connected. mastered the light skinted squint chileee the glo up is REAL. #ForeverAndADay ❤️

A post shared by Lauren Miles (@iamlaurenmiles) on Jan 15, 2019 at 11:13am PST

And Steph and Ayesha.

View this post on Instagram

#10yrchallenge 08-18 ... my babbbbby

A post shared by Ayesha Curry (@ayeshacurry) on Jan 15, 2019 at 9:18pm PST

Also, Klay commented on Ayesha’s photo and it was funny until he got the year wrong.

Spencer Dinwiddie wore Beyonce shoes!

The Nets’ point guard continues to wear really interesting shoes this year. I have no idea where he gets his inspiration from. Maybe he just wakes up, thinks of something he likes, and then puts them on his shoes. If that’s the case, I’d also put Beyonce on my shoes.

Spencer Dinwiddie dropped 33 points on the Rockets in these @Beyonce custom sneakers (via @SDinwiddie_25, @k_obrand) pic.twitter.com/Z2gO4XV36A

— NBA on ESPN (@ESPNNBA) January 17, 2019

Bogdan Bogdanovic shops at H&M and we appreciate that

It’s common for me to post ridiculous outfits or $3,000 hoodies in B-sides, but that’s not what Bogey is wearing here. This is straight from H&M and only $20. At full price, it was still only $35. Something we can finally afford!

Wear what Bogey wears for $20 from H&M pic.twitter.com/Hv4EeOzaMZ

— iPacers.com (@iPacersblog) January 15, 2019

Dwyane Wade meme’ing himself

The NBA and the internet are so intertwined at this point, it’s wild. And I’m still not over how pretty those Vice jerseys are.

View this post on Instagram

The face you make when you thought you and your brother was on the same page when it came to the lies y’all were gonna tell your parents and as soon as your parents asked who did it? He starts singingggggggg!!!! #captionthisphoto

A post shared by dwyanewade (@dwyanewade) on Jan 13, 2019 at 12:14pm PST

Just a weekly reminder of Josh Hart being the best

He clearly lost a best to Larry Nance Jr., but any chance I have to tell you how great Hart is, I will take.

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Browns > Redskins.. Nice doing business with you @jhart

A post shared by Larry Nance Jr (@larrydn7) on Jan 14, 2019 at 9:03am PST

Boban Marjanovic riding around like this

I don’t know why. Just watch it. It will make your day better.

Boban is too much! pic.twitter.com/acNNQe9TYN

— NBA TV (@NBATV) January 15, 2019

My favorite James Harden photo of the week

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

See ya next week, friends. Tweet me your B-Sides, and I’ll include them in the next round.

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endlessarchite · 6 years

Text

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do.

We have SO MANY posts that we want to write for you guys (we’re currently working on a full living room update post – and one about all the appliances and window blinds we got for the beach house). But ever since we shared a picture of the kids bedding we picked up at HomeGoods for our daughter’s room in the podcast show notes for Episode #69, we’ve been meaning to share a room update.

Because dang it, kids grow up. And sometimes they don’t want their 7-year-old room to look like their “little kid” room anymore (please can’t 7 still be little?!). So here’s how our daughter’s room has grown up a bit – but not too much. Thank goodness there aren’t New Kids On The Block posters (or their 2017 equivalent) quite yet. I know they’re coming! You might remember that it used to look like this right after she upgraded from a crib to a daybed back in the day (I think this was taken when she was 3, sniff!).

And we later got her a larger bed and made a few other changes at her request (we shared this post over a year ago, but mentioned we still wanted to tackle a few things, like adding a headboard, etc).

Well, a few months later she told us she didn’t want the canopy anymore. So down it came. And with the canopy gone (which you can also see around the 3-minute mark of this video house tour we did last year) the raindrops were looking pretty weird. Some were even half-painted along the line where the canopy once sat. We considered just touching them up, but they were dubbed “too babyish” by our girl, so over the last several months we’ve been making some little tweaks here and there – including a new paint color on the walls to cover up those drops. We sanded them slightly, then primed, and then just used two coats of White Heron by Sherwin Williams. It totally covered them and the entire wall feels flat to the touch. Whew.

Also, because I’m neurotic, it should be noted that our tiny client has now decided that she likes the purple side of her comforter better, so these room photos all look slightly odd to me because I’ve already become used to the purple side being up, and I have to tell you: SHE’S A BETTER DECORATOR THAN I AM, because it looks so much better that way. I have no idea why, but the cooler purple pattern just works with the rug so nicely. Still might change out the curtains someday – but on the whole it’s looking a lot more finished lately.

Certainly a far cry from the room we started with:

But back to that headboard that we mentioned we were searching for, oh, over a year. We eventually found this treasure on craigslist for $90 (yes, I’m 35 and I call old wooden things treasures now). It’s a complete bed with side rails and a footboard (the seller said it’s 100 years old and it actually has holes in the frame to wind rope around to support an old straw mattress!). There are newer comparable beds that are $1000+ (like this one from Wayfair), so yes yes yes to this craigslist find! For anyone looking for a similar secondhand one, there are some good ones on Etsy and Chairish.

When we propped up the footboard it was feeling kind of dark and imposing in the room (both visually and literally – we all kept bumping into it), but the footboard is so cool on its own that we’re planning to use it as a headboard in our son’s room eventually. It’s not exactly the same, so it’ll be cool to see what looks like this headboard’s sibling in his room.

Since we weren’t using the fully assembled bed, and just wanted to attach the headboard to the wall, we used some scrap wood to create a cleat on the back of the headboard so it could hang independently of the rest of the bed (here’s where we showed you how to make a headboard cleat). I love that it brings something old to the room, but the spools still keep it feeling fun. When I tuck her in I probably talk way too much about how cool it is to have a bed that’s 100 years old. Moms are so lame.

I’m also obsessed with how the little pom-pom trim that lines the comforter sort of mimics the shape of the spools in the headboard. It’s like it was meant to be together (again, we found that gem at HomeGoods – and the llama sheets are from Target because, llamas!).

The white nightstands are from Target. I loved the campaign hardware detail, the nice functional drawer, and the fact that they’re white (we had old wood side tables that looked super heavy with the wood headboard – so my tip would be to try mixing in white night tables if you’re battling that issue yourself). She still has her trusty pink touch lamps that we got her over a year ago (I don’t have to tell any parent this, but kids love tapping things on and off – it’s one step away from my childhood favorite: The Clapper). Also, I love that she uses the drawers for practical things like storing doll clothes and housing a tiny toy mouse.

The abstract art above the bed is from Target and the pink quote art is just a page I tore out of a magazine called Flow. It reads “If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking. -Haruki Murakami” And it has a cat on it for good measure. When I asked her if she wanted me to hang that up there in the frame she said “Yes because NOBODY else likes to read BabyMouse comics AND Goosebumps at the same time!” This kid.

Back to the walls for a sec – we went with White Heron paint after really liking how it looked throughout the beach house.

It plays well all of the other existing paint colors: the bright white trim (Benjamin Moore’s Simply White), the soft pink ceiling (Benjamin Moore’s Pink Cadillac) and the bold closet door (Benjamin Moore’s Cinco de Mayo). White Heron is a very soft warm grey-tan color, so we joke that her room’s kind of like a muted Neopolitan ice cream bar now, thanks to that strawberry ceiling and vanilla trim.

While we kept the DIY toy/book storage as is (we made that a few years ago and covered the process in our second book), we did refresh some of the art around it. It was fun to see what things got to stay and what got switched out, and our daughter insisted on the little silver antlers (they were downstairs in a pile of things that I was going to use at the beach house) because it was the perfect spot to hang her dreamcatcher keychain. Clearly she’s into form and function – ha!

This photo cracks me up because you can get a sense of how the bookcase has kind of become a playhouse of sorts too. Part of the “de-babying” of the room was also heeding her request to remove the homemade dollhouse in the closet (more on that in a moment while I sob quietly behind my laptop). We craigslisted it to a grandmother who was very excited to have it for her grandkids, so we were happy it was going somewhere that would get more use, but I do find it oddly reassuring when I walk in and the bookshelves have been turned into tiny rooms for her toys.

I also had some fun bringing in some gold, just because I love those gold Target frames and have probably purchased my body weight in them, but also because I like that there’s some silver layered in with them as well (in the antlers, the oval mirror I painted years ago for her, and even that little silver spotted dog sitting on the frame). That dog actually used to be a drawer knob but it cracked and fell off, but he has lived on as a little picture-sitter of sorts.

The wall opposite the bed still features her old changing-table-turned-dresser (it’s almost 8 years old and still going strong!) with that pretty inlay mirror above it that we all love. I think the only update here is that I spray painted the yard sale moose lamp gold because he used to be white and I thought he’d pop more, but he’s looking kind of weird in this picture. In person he’s less bold looking (more of a soft hammered gold) but here he looks… I don’t know… like a golden chicken nugget.

That laundry basket is an estate sale find and the curtains are Ikea panels I dyed light pink years ago. They’re probably the next thing we’ll upgrade in here, because they’re so lightweight that it’s hard to keep them looking like they haven’t been whipped by a daily tornado.

The paint color change has been good for lots of reason. As much as we liked the white, her room always felt a little disconnected from the rest of the upstairs because everything else had a warm tan-gray color on the wall (this room had been a super crisp white color). Plus, her room gets the best light of any room in the house, so it can definitely handle something less stark. We also like how it’s helping the white elements – like the crown molding or the lampshade below – pop off the walls a little better. Once again: chicken nugget moose, everyone.

As I mentioned earlier, the closet got a little update too. With the dollhouse not getting used anymore (*SOB!*), we basically just asked our daughter what she’d rather use that spot for, and she requested a place to draw and write. I had always thought a vanity might make sense in there when she’s older, so I love that this works as a drawing/writing nook and could also be a getting-ready space for her someday (since I’m sure someday she’ll need a larger and more legit desk, which I imagine might take the place of her bookcase down the line).

We grabbed the vanity at Ikea since it’s small enough to easily fit into that nook (remember when we “wallpapered” that back wall with fabric years ago). Then we just brought in one of our spare dining room chairs for a place to sit. It had been in the attic since we got upholstered end chairs for the dining room, so it’s nice to make use of it.

The desk/vanity flips up on one side, so it’s great for stashing pencils and stuff, while the other half has a normal drawer for tucking away papers. I’m not sure I agree with Ikea’s inexplicable decision to make the inside of the vanity blood-red, but it actually works in here.

It may seem like overkill to have three kids drawing/writing surfaces in the house (if you include their desks in our office and the bonus room) but they all get used, and this one is nice because it’s just hers and she can work in here quietly in the morning before her brother wakes up.

For anyone looking for all of our sources in one place, here’s a little get-the-look mood board for ya. We hunted down similar items for the things that are thrifted or discontinued:

1. Walls (SW White Heron) / 2. Trim (BM Simply White) / 3. Ceiling (BM Pink Cadillac) / 4. Door (BM Cinco de Mayo) / 5. Touch Lamp / 6. Bedside Table / 7. Faux Plant / 8. Woven Pot / 9. Windsor Chair / 10. Vanity / 11. White Pouf / 12. Faux Antlers / 13. Abstract Print / 14. Toy Storage / 15. Colorful Print / 16. Antique Wooden Spool Bed / 17. Inlay Mirror / 18. Midcentury Dresser / 19. Throw Pillow / 20. Llama Sheets / 21. Rug / 22. Bedding Set

I’m sure it’s not the last evolution this room will see. At some point, she’ll probably need a dresser with deeper drawers (what once held onesies and diapers perfectly is sometimes feeling maxed out with sweatshirts and skinny jeans). And I really can see that bookcase getting swapped out for a full-sized desk in a few years if she wants more space to spread out. And who knows when and if those curtains will change. Will it be before or after the Nick Jonas posters (or whoever’s the current heartthrob at the time) go up? Everyone says it, but they really do grow up too fast (*sniffle*).

Psst- Wanna see other kids updates and projects? Here are dozens of tutorials from our archives.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. appeared first on Young House Love.

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. published first on http://ift.tt/2qxZz2j

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statusreview · 6 years

Text

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do.

Certainly a far cry from the room we started with:

Back to the walls for a sec – we went with White Heron paint after really liking how it looked throughout the beach house.

For anyone looking for all of our sources in one place, here’s a little get-the-look mood board for ya. We hunted down similar items for the things that are thrifted or discontinued:

Psst- Wanna see other kids updates and projects? Here are dozens of tutorials from our archives.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. appeared first on Young House Love.

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. published first on http://ift.tt/2r6hzQy

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interiorstarweb · 6 years

Text

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do.

Certainly a far cry from the room we started with:

Back to the walls for a sec – we went with White Heron paint after really liking how it looked throughout the beach house.

For anyone looking for all of our sources in one place, here’s a little get-the-look mood board for ya. We hunted down similar items for the things that are thrifted or discontinued:

Psst- Wanna see other kids updates and projects? Here are dozens of tutorials from our archives.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. appeared first on Young House Love.

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. published first on http://ift.tt/2uiWrIt

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additionallysad · 6 years

Photo

Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. http://ift.tt/2z0S8J1

Certainly a far cry from the room we started with:

Back to the walls for a sec – we went with White Heron paint after really liking how it looked throughout the beach house.

For anyone looking for all of our sources in one place, here’s a little get-the-look mood board for ya. We hunted down similar items for the things that are thrifted or discontinued:

Psst- Wanna see other kids updates and projects? Here are dozens of tutorials from our archives.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Who Puts An 100-Year-Old Bed In A Little Girl’s Room? Um, We Do. appeared first on Young House Love.

#additionally sad home renovations

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