#this man fucking stole my oreos

[piedpiperslists]

JJK: Agent / Cop / Spy AU

List of all Jungkook fics under 'Agent / Cop / Spy' AU:

* ² - two shots s - contains smut

* Last updated: 10/09/2023

D R A B B L E S

Loose Ends by jjkeverlast s angst, assassin!Jungkook, assassin!reader Summary: There's always been a fine line between love and hate when it comes to Jeon Jungkook and you.

Pow by hamsterclaw s Batman au Summary: Your job is to keep Gotham city safe, but you spend more of your time keeping Catboy aka Jeon Jungkook out of trouble.

The one with Jungkook and the sharpshooter by eoieopda enemies to lovers Summary: You didn’t plan this far ahead. You should have.

O N E S H O T S

Afterburner by hamsterclaw s wc~8k / fighter pilot!Jungkook, fighter pilot!reader, coworkers au Summary: All Jungkook's ever wanted to do is fly, and he's damned good at it. Then you turn up, and get under his skin.

Covert Affairs by sunshinerainbowsbts s wc~4.3k / angst, spy!Jungkook, spy!reader, enemies au Summary: The five times you cross paths with legendary spy Jeon Jungkook.

Crosshairs by junghelioseok s wc~10.5k / secret agent au Summary: He’s never letting you out of his line of sight again.

Dark and Dangerous by whatifyoulivelikethat s wc~7.2k / blind!reader, hitman au Summary: You were the love of my life / The darkness, the light / This is a portrait of a tortured you and I / Is this the end?

Fortuity by yoontopia wc~7.7k / detective!Jungkook, detective!reader, childlhood friends to lovers Summary: When a case forces you to re-visit your hometown, you’re also forced to re-visit your past and one particular Jeon Jungkook, your childhood friend, and the man you’d fallen in love with – while he’d been been engaged to someone else.

OREOs… and Electroshock Couples Therapy by ladyartemesia wc~3.3k / police detective!Jungkook, police detective!reader, rivals to lovers, fake dating Summary: You and infuriating precinct playboy Jeon Jungkook go undercover to lure out a killer targeting engaged couples. Literally nothing goes according to plan…

Selcouth by 99liners s wc~7k / detective!reader, established relationship Summary: Jeongguk is your weeb boyfriend and you are the perfect weeb waifu but he doesn’t know yet how much of a badass girl boss you are. Basically, he turns into :o emoji.

Soft by hamsterclaw s wc~5.7k / cop!Jungkook, autopsy technician!reader Summary: Jungkook doesn't think of himself as being overly emotional. Why does everyone keep telling him he wears his heart on his sleeve?

Tag by hamsterclaw s wc~8.8k / graffiti artist!Jungkook, cop!reader, ex-FWB Summary: You met Jungkook years ago, when you were a rookie cop and he was brought in for defacing public property. Now he's an established artist, and a chance encounter brings you together.

Velvet Cherry by jeonqkooks s wc~5.9k / exes to lovers, agent au Summary: You can't find it in yourself to care about anything, not when he's looking at you like that. Like if you were to die, there's not a single part of him that would hesitate to follow.

* Young Spy by jeonstudios wc~11.6k / spy!Jungkook, mafia au Summary: Three down, many to go as bad men are meeting their deaths tonight. The brown-haired one, who’s next in line, has given up his fight. Will you make it in time?

T W O S H O T S / S E R I E S

Airplane, Pt. 2 by xjoonchildx s criminal!Jungkook, agent!reader Summary: Jungkook Jeon stole six million dollars. It’s your job to bring him home. But finding him – and keeping him in one place is not that simple. Then shit gets weird.

Criminal by hamsterclaw s criminal lawyer!Jungkook, police detective!reader Summary: You and your partner, Taehyung, are investigating the murder of a lawyer. Your investigation forces you to uncover truths that hit a little too close to home.

Empty Space ² by ahundredtimesover s police officer!Jungkook, ex-FWB Summary: It started as friendship, turned to a casual fuck, then ended in heartbreak. Turns out, he wasn’t who he said he was, and years later he enters your life again, forcing you to face all the emotions you’d been trying to bury. OR Officer Jeon looks really hot in his uniform and you wish you didn’t hate him as much as you do.

#jjk list #jungkook fic

[mothmans-wedding-photographer]

Mothman's Buffy Rewatch: Season 2, episodes 20 and 21, "Go Fish" and "Becoming (Part 1)

Go Fish

Buffy on da beach, what will she do

Who the fuck is this man where did he come from 😭😭

Gross! Bro just became the human globster (cryptozoology reference)

I swear I thought this episode was about the boys turning into fish monsters not being attacked by them

WHY ARE THEY STILL JUST LETTING WILLOW TEACH CLASS

"I like teaching!" "That's nice." My jaded teacher parents core

God I hate how terrible students get away with everything because they're good athletes

Cam needs to stfu

Ew he just asked her about wearing a bra

HE LOCKED THE DOOR KILL HIM KILL HIM

LMFAO GET HIS ASS BUFFY EXTREMELY DESERVED

"She totally led me on, look at the way she dresses!" God I hate him I hate him I hope he suffers

Buffy should have killed him actually

"Like an oreo cookie"

Yo is Cam about to get eaten?

Aw no he didn't :(

LMAO XANDER get him I love bullying Cam

Wait I think Cam did get eaten hell yeah

Damn Cordelia can draw? Good for her

"Good this is so sad. We're never getting the state championship" honestly yes that is sadder than the death of a sexual harassing misogynist lmao

"What? No. I just snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool." LMAO??

WHY DOES ANGELUS HAVE TO SHOW UP EVERY SINGLE EPISODE GOD

Welp he stole the monster's lunch

Nevermind the chlorine was too much for him

Oh it's steroids not chlorine woopsies

"Okey Dookie coachy"

OH WAIT IT IS ABOUT THEM TURNING INTO FISH MONSTERS I KNEW I REMEMBERED IT FOR A REASON

THE STEAM IS STEROIDS? shit Xander is in danger

Damn i thought ghe nurse was evil but just the coach ig

WHAT THE FUCK HE THREW HER TO THEM

I hope this end up eating the coach. I think they do but I don't remember this episode very well

"After the fall of the Soviet Union..." what. Stop it this is my break from history class man

"They've already had dinner. The boys have other needs." EW FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Cordelia still caring about Xander when she thinks he's a fish man is sending me. Character growth!!

Yeah get him Xander!

BUFFY LET HIM GO !! Let him get eaten

They just let the monsters go free into the sea 😭

Becoming (Part 1)

Angel with the fuckass sideburns

I do not CARE about Bangel GRAH

Xander is so goofy with the nuggets

"Don't touch me you have fish hands!" Actually no he got cured last episode

Aw poor Drusilla :(((

It's so sad knowing how drusilla ends up :( all she wanted was to be good

"Wah, this doesn't make any sense!" She's just like me fr

Willow being firm is always so nice to see in earlier seasons

They found the disk yippee

Angelus getting bullied into having a soul by an old woman

Willow was researching the black arts... the beginning of the end (I love witch willow she's my bestie)

Xander what angel does as angelus isn't his fault 😭😭 don't get me wrong I hate regular angel but like. Don't blame him for that

KENDRA IS BACK!!

Goofy ass statue

Ok why do they want to make the entire world go ro hell. What is the point

This bitch taunting fhe soulfull vampire 😭😭

WAIT HE BROUGHT ANGEL TO SEE BUFFY????

"Oh, not the heart"

Damn Hank sounds cringe

"She's just a kid!" *proceeds to date her*

Heartwarming!!! Angelus fucking fails !!!

THE WOMAN JUST COMING INTO THE CLASSROOM AND SETTING HERSELF ON FIRE OM CRYING WHAT

Hell yeah its Mr. Pointy!!!

Immolation-O-Gram

WHY DID ANGELUS LOOK SO GOOFY WHEN HE SAID ALRIGHT LETS FIGHT bro was waving his arms around like a goofball

Dropped a bookshelf on Willow :(

I'm so glad the library I work at does not have vampire fights

Buffy stake him while he's monologuing

Why did they have to get Sarah Michelle Gellar's stunt double to run across the road

What is dru doing to Kendra lmao

THAT ONE TINY SCRATCH KILLED HER?? can someone confirm if she hit a major artery or if the writers just goofed

IT DIDNT EVEN BLEED THAT MUCH? if it was a major artery it would have bled a lot more surely 😭

Buffy gets arrested not clickbait

#mothman's buffy rewatch #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #buffy summers #willow rosenberg #xander harris #rupert giles #cordelia chase #angelus btvs #kendra btvs

[shreeky]

Okay, it's Childish Gambino, homegirl drop it like the NASDAQ

Move white girls like there's coke up my asscrack

Move black girls 'cause, man, fuck it, I'll do either

I love pussy, I love bitches, dude, I should be runnin' PETA

In Adidas, with some short shorts, B-O-O all over me

My green is where it's supposed to be, your green is in my grocery

This Asian dude, I stole his girl, and now he got that Kogi beef

My dick is like an accent mark, it's all about the over Es

Hot like a parked car

I sound weird like nigga with a hard R

Fly like the logo on my cousin's 440

Eatin' Oreos like these white girls that blow me

Vodka for my ladies, whiskey for a grown man

Hangin' in the islands, lookin' for Earl like Toejam

I made the beat retarded, so I'm callin' it a slow jam

Butcher and I know it, man, kill beef, go ham

These rappers are afraid of him

'Cause I'm a beast, bitch, "Grr", Invader Zim

Gambino is a call girl, fuck you, pay me

Brand new whip for these niggas like slavery

Told me I was awful and that shit did not faze me

Tell me how I suck again, my memory is hazy

"You're my favorite rapper now" Yeah, dude, I better be

Or you can fuckin' kiss my ass, Human Centipede

You wanna see my girl? I ain't that dumb

You wanna see my girl? Check Maxim

"Man, why does every black actor gotta rap some?"

I don't know, all I know is I'm the best one

It's a bonfire, turn the lights out (yeah)

I'm burnin' everything you muthafuckas talk about

It's a bonfire (yeah), turn the lights out (uh-huh)

I'm burnin' everything you muthafuckas talk about

You know these rapper dudes talk shit, start killin'

Fuck that, got goons like an archvillain

I'm from the South, ain't got no accent, don't know why

So this rap is child's play, I do my name like Princess Di

Yeah, they say they want the realness, rap about my real life

Told me I should just quit, "First of all, you talk white!

Second off, you talk like you haven't given up yet"

Rap's stepfather, yeah, you hate me but you will respect

I put in work, ask Ludwig

Put my soul on the track like shoes did

Played this for my cousin, now he can't even think straight

Black and white music? Now, nigga, that's a mixtape

Shout out to my blerds, they represent the realness

Shout out to Gambino Girls, my dick is in the buildin'

I know you hate me 'cause your little cousin play me

And I like black girls who nerdy, but when they dance they be sayin' "Ow"

I'm sorry for who followed me

Chillin' with a Filipina, at your local Jollibee

Yeah, I'm in her ass like sodomy

So if you see my hand under the table, don't bother me

I don't talk soft, that's that other guy

I'm screamin' "What the fuck is up?" like I ain't see the sky

The shit I'm doin' this year? Insanity

Made the beat then murdered it, Casey Anthony

These rappers won't know what to do

'Cause all I did was act me like a Loony Tune

And I'll give you all of me until there's nothin' left

I swear this summer will be summer Camp, bitch

bruh how did this all fit into an ask what is this character limit 😭😭

[youaremymoonxx]

tyler: my therapist advised me to think before i act

josh: …

tyler: SO today when i stole the last pack of oreos from a random man’s shopping cart and screamed "THATS CAUSE YOUR FLIP FLOPS AND YOUR HAIR SUCK", i was 100% confident in my actions. i’ve thought them through

josh: fuck, i’m scared of your brain

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 57

The Great Game

It was a wretched day, but I have Oreos, a weighted triceratops stuffed animal, and the promise of Jim Moriarty to combat it before manga leaks come out tonight.

“The Great Game”

Ten years ago I definitely was the kind of grammar stickler Sherlock is in the opening scene, but luckily I’ve grown and find that at best tiresome.

Poor John has to put up with Sherlock shooting the wall and severed heads in the fridge

Hey. So why does he not know that the earth goes around the sun but knew about some supernova in the 1500s or whatever the fuck it is in the last game

I almost forgot about the explosion at 221b

It would be so infuriating knowing the Holmes brothers…I couldn’t do it. They’re so petulant and annoying they it’s only fun from this side of the screen

I feel for these people Jim holds hostage, I really do. But……..I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also love him a little through it anyway

JIM!!! 🥰🥰🥰

I hate how season four erases the shared starting place Sherlock and Jim had with Carl Powers

Why does Mycroft sign his texts?? I try not to cringe at things (doing this, I have little room to), but come on, man

The part I remember the most about this second puzzle is the fact that the car company is called Janus Cars but someone once pointed out that the font kinda makes it look like anus ars(e) with a fancy design next to it.

Oh oh oh!! The…the husband faked his death and the wife is supposed to join him later, I think…oh, sorry. She’s just collecting the insurance money from his “death.”

Might I spend most of this remembering the outcomes of all the puzzles? Ok. Connie Prince…I can’t remember if it’s JUST Raoul or him AND the brother. No no no…it was just Raoul but in defense of her brother and how she treated him on the show.

I love John thinking it was the cat, though. Just adorable. He’s so proud. SO PROUD. And SO wrong.

Oh this poor, poor woman…

Mmmm, yes, the art museum security guard with an astronomy hobby who could first tell that the missing Vermeer was a fake

Stargazing in the middle of London???

The brother killed the guy Mycroft wanted Sherlock to investigate!! (I did watch his QUITE a few times back in the day.) He stole the top secret plans and then threw the body onto the train afterward, thinking it would go much further before falling off

Back on my “why the hell would they film it this way??” The scene in the planetarium this time. 1) good luck if you have any light sensitivity, especially flashing lights. 2) you can barely tell what’s happening

Man were my dates off for the vanburen supernova…1500s…1858, same difference, right??? 😬

Do you wanna get kidnapped John? Because this is how you get kidnapped.

Also?? That first time you watch and for a split second you think the person behind it all WAS John for a second before you realize he’s being controlled like all the other people?

💖💖💖💖💖

GUYSSSSSSSS, THE AMOUNT OF JIM’S DIALOGUE I WAS STILL ABLE TO SAY RIGHT ALONG WITH HIM??? A would be embarrassing amount. It was nearly all of it, but like…of COURSE I knew it. The NUMBER of times I used to watch that scene. JUST that scene? Obscene.

Jim’s just so silly and yet…manages to be a true threat at the same time. I fucking love him. His facial expressions, his Irish accent and the way he practically sings so many of the lines. He was the best part of the show

(I’m rewinding it to watch again as I type this. Who knows how many times I will watch it??)

If you ever need to know my type:

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023 #sarah makes it through ONE rewatch of the pool scene without saying all of moriarty’s lines challenge: impossible

[hootsewers]

today i had to buy a spring-form pan because i am tragically tasked with making a NORMAL cheesecake instead of my brownie bomb cheesecake bars I've been doing lol

I'm also doing a graham cracker crust instead of an oreo one. I feel like I'm losing Weirdness Points. just a Normal cheesecake. whatever

further baking-related rambling under the break I just KNOW this is gonna be long bc i havent had my adhd meds for like two weeks lol

OKAY I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF BAKING LATELY and honestly it's been really fun and eye-opening the kind of shit you can get away with but man I really met my match with macarons. those shits are FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE I mean listen, I'm a man who is making snickerdoodles and brownies and cheesecake bars, like, recipes you can really fuck up and still have em come out pretty good, but you do ONE thing wrong with macarons and it's FUCKED

oooh maybe I should post some of the recipes I've made here. they're mostly frankensteined from internet recipes and better homes & gardens books but it'll be easier for me to keep track of than to run all over hell and creation trying to find which ingredients and proportions I stole from which recipe lmao

but yeah the macarons. holy shit. I've never flopped so hard. i was so bald. bitches were FLAT AS FUCK it was horrifying lmao. like completely fucked. they tasted okay but they were thin, flat, chewy-crunchy SQUARES it's amazing I fucked up so bad lol. I definitely gotta experiment more w them before I attempt another batch

number one thing I fucked up was overworking the batter, like, visibly. also my oven runs hot so that's bad. also I was trying to do nut-free bc they were for a work potluck and i wasn't trying to kill any of my coworkers eight of whom are fatally allergic to almonds lol. so The Internet said I could grind pumpkin seeds into pumpkin flour and use that because the protein contents were similar?

did not work. lol

and uhhhh what else did i fuck up? oh yeah i also used melted butter instead of room-tempurature butter. BUT I USED A FOOD SCALE AND ACTUALLY MEASURED OUT WEIGHTS FOR EVERYTHING so. not the amount of effort i usually put in lol. honestly for cheesecake I just eyeball it a LOT lmao

but yeah baking thoughts are running out of steam. i will post my recipes soon so u too can enjoy my foods

#edwin's whinings

[qwenck]

tag game - tagged by @eeveearoace

favorite time of year: there’s a week between fall and winter and another week between winter and spring where the temperature isn’t too warm but isn’t freezing cold either

comfort food: one specific brand of ready-made samosas.

do you collect stuff?: yes. i’ve got a bunch of stuff just piling up on my dresser, including:

medium sized safety pins

a piece of chalk i found next to the track one day and kept

1/4 of a ruler

one small yellow paperclip

two small ketchup packets (probably expired by now)

one small ranch packet (also probably expired)

two weird metal things i found on the road some time ago. i dunno how to describe them. you can pm me if you want pics later (for some unknown reason?) but i’m too lazy to take pictures now

an old wiry headband. it’s uncomfortable to wear.

two old, unusable cameras. one of them uses film but the film inside of it is ruined so :/

the other one is digital but i don’t know where to get the batteries for it. it did come in handy once when i had to draw a camera and google images just wasn’t cutting it (it kept cutting out where all the buttons were, even when i added “references for artists” onto the search. rude.)

did i say i had one paperclip. well i was wrong. i have three paperclips, including the first yellow one. the other two are uncolored but very shiny. one of them is charred at the end, because it was used to hold up several cheetos and knockoff oreos during a chemistry experiment where we burned snacks to see how many calories they contained. I think we were supposed to throw the paperclip out but i snuck it out of class in my hoodie pocket because,,,, shiny,,,,, i fucking love chemistry class. the other paperclip i think i stole it off a desk or something, because, again, shiny

i’ve also got this green balloon (uninflated). I don’t remember where I got it from. Maybe a goody bag or something?

the SHELLS i forgot the shells. my sister was spending time with her friends at the beach and i was just also there so me and one of the friends’ sisters went looking for shells to pass the time. one of the shells i got was one of the cool spiral ones! there was sand in my room for weeks afterward though

i do have this giftbag-looking bag there from the eye doctor that used to contain a bunch of contacts. now it contains 1) a bunch of ads for crystalize or whatever it’s called 2) yarn 3) three-ish expo markers 4) broken machanical pencils 5) a repair kit for a drone that i never fully got the hang of piloting, mainly kept because it has a screwdriver

you may be thinking “but doesn’t a collection have to have a common thread between all of them” and you may or may not be right, i don’t know. but i will answer the question anyways. the common thread is that most of these items are useless to me and i should really put them away but hoarder brain says “you will need these later” and i can’t argue with that. heck, it’s already come true for a couple of them!

favorite drink: apple juice, probably? or mango lassi

favorite song: it changes over time but recently i’ve been listening to this mashup and hell's coming with me by poor man's poison (dl pearl anyone?)

favorite fic: oh this one is hard. tie between flee your ghosts (burn your house down) and There May Be Some Collateral Damage by @/metisket.

tagging: @titsmasher69 @zzrkpfor /nf

#long post #reblog bait #<- probably?

[celerywrites]

Safe With You

Jason Todd x trans man reader

Somehow you've gone from patching Red Hood's wounds once or twice a week to letting a whole host of vigilantes invade your living room. You're pretty sure this is all Red's fault. He gives you a very convincing apology though.

Reader is a trans man. Masculine terms are used for the reader's body, the chest is avoided, and the reader is not penetrated. Boundaries are set and kept. Pet names used for the reader are "babe" and "sweetheart". There is discussion of male anorgasmia as a side-effect of the Lazarus pit.

This fic is NSFW.  If you are under the age of 18, do not interact with it.

By this point you're somewhat used to injured vigilantes in your apartment at odd hours of the night. Well, one vigilante. The others are a new addition, and you're not exactly pleased about it.

You've never even met any of the others, for all you've listened to Red Hood complain about them. And yet, there's two very tired looking heroes sitting on your floor when you get home from a night out with friends. Nightwing at least has the courtesy to look sheepish when he raises his head from where he's bandaging Red Robin's leg, but Red Robin just continues eating oreos as if nothing is unusual. ...your oreos. The ones you'd been saving for a bad day. You can see the pack is almost empty, and you sigh, locking the door behind you and flopping onto the couch, which has been graciously left untouched by bloodstains.

"What the hell, guys?" You ask, scrubbing a hand down your face.

"I'm sorry," Nightwing says, flashing you another sheepish smile. "He was losing too much blood to make it back to the Batcave, and we knew Hood had a safehouse nearby. He told us it was okay..?"

You blink at him, then fumble in your pocket for your phone, calling the number Red Hood plugged in for emergencies months ago.

When he picks up, his voice is undistorted, spoken within his helmet and without the interference of his voice modulator. His voice is tense as he asks what's wrong, and you huff a sigh before you speak, realizing you've probably overreacted but you can't hang up now.

"Alright Red, quick question for you. When I agreed to be your, and I quote, 'Safehouse Bestie,' did I ever, at any point, give any indication that this status extended to every vigilante in Gotham? Because I'm pretty sure I made you promise that you were the only one that was gonna be climbing through my window at three in the morning, and yet at this very minute I have not just Nightwing but also Red Robin both halfway to passed out on my brand new rug, and they ate all of my fucking oreos!"

There's tense silence for a moment, before Red Hood sighs. "I told them they could go in and grab the first aid kit under the couch, not that they could stay and help themselves to your food. I'll buy you a new rug and a lifetime supply of oreos if you let them stay there until Batman can get there to pick them up. Red Robin's got a leg wound that means he shouldn't be moving around on it, and Nightwing's got a stab wound in his side."

"So I'm gonna have Batman in my apartment next? Is Robin coming too? Black Bat? The Signal? Are we having a vigilante sleepover, Red?"

He snorts a laugh at that, and you huff. "Jason, you owe me more than oreos for this. You're cooking me dinner, and you owe me a shitty Netflix binge of my choice."

On the floor, Red Robin and Nightwing both tense at hearing Hood's real name. You roll your eyes and continue speaking. "Just freaked your buddies out, guess they didn't know how close we are. If you don't come help collect them and I'm left alone with fucking Batman I'm gonna start spilling your secrets. Starting with your terrible taste in documentaries, and getting more personal from there."

"We already know," says Red Robin around a mouthful of stolen oreos.

Jason seems more amused than anything and he huffs a laugh, even as you hear the sound of fighting in the background.

"Look, I'm sorry they crashed out and stole your snacks, and I'm gonna make it up to you, but I'm still in the middle of my patrol. I promise I'll come help Batman collect them as soon as I can. For now, don't listen to anything Nightwing says if he tries to tell you embarrassing stories about me. He's lying."

"Oh I don't know, might be a fun way to pass the time," you laugh, but you let him hang up and then turn your attention to the two men bleeding on your rug. While you were distracted they managed to finish bandaging the worst of their injuries, and now both of them are making pointed attempts to avoid eye contact.

"I'm not actually mad at you guys," you assure them, sitting up a bit straighter. "I'd rather you come patch up than bleed out on a rooftop or anything like that. It was just weird coming in here and finding you eating my food."

"Sorry," Nightwing says with a little wince. "We couldn't find your coffee, and we figured sugar was the next best thing."

You can't hold back your laughter at that. "Of course you wanted coffee. I don't drink it, which is why you didn't find any. I've got a decent tea collection though, if that would help. Maximum amount of caffeine and some honey to help it go down, right?"

Red Robin nods at you, brushing oreo crumbs off of his uniform and onto your already ruined rug.

You make your way to the kitchen and start the kettle, humming as you go. There's no big crisis, not really. You know Jason means it when he says he'll replace your rug and buy you more oreos. He's always replaced whatever he ruined or took in the past, after all. And you're almost positive that both Nightwing and Red Robin have had worse injuries from how calm they're acting.

You're grabbing two of your favorite mugs when you sense someone behind you and nearly drop one, spinning to look. It's just Nightwing, moving too quietly for his own good, just like Jason does. You huff an embarrassed laugh, setting the mugs safely on the counter. Nightwing at least has the sense to look apologetic as he smiles at you. His dimples give him an air of boyish charm, even though you're pretty sure he's older than Jason.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. I was just gonna ask how long you've known Red Hood-- er, Jason. He doesn't usually give out his name to civilians. You kind of caught us off guard when you said it."

You grin, tallying the months and then years in your head before answering. "I think it's been... two and a half years now? Maybe a bit more? I've been patching him up for a while now, not sure of exact dates. If it makes you feel better, I've only known his name for a few months now. I'm sure you two are still best friends and all that, I'm just his safehouse bestie."

Nightwing laughs, but it must make his bandages pull, because he winces and you give him a pointed look. "Go sit back down. If you pass out on me, I'm gonna end up lectured by Batman, and that is not how I want this night to go."

"Fair enough," Nightwing says, holding his hands up in defeat and returning to his spot on the rug.

Once the water is heated, you prepare the tea and add a bit more honey than you usually like. Jason has told you before that Nightwing has a bit of a sweet tooth, and you imagine Red Robin might appreciate the sugar right now if nothing else.

Both men accept the mugs with pleased sighs, and you settle back onto the couch.

"So. Red Hood told me not to believe any embarrassing stories you tell me about him because you're lying. I imagine that means they're actually true. Got anything juicy for me?"

Nightwing's grin goes wide, and he gives a thoughtful look for a moment. "Hmm, where should I start? Let's see... he has in all seriousness said the phrase 'Oh, my goodness gracious! I've been bamboozled!' while in full Red Hood mode. Does that count?"

You nearly choke on your tea as you start laughing. "Oh, that definitely counts. That's fantastic."

Nightwing leans in conspiratorially, and you mirror the action. "He's actually a huge nerd. Big fan of the classics, big fan of Shakespeare."

"That one I already know," you say, leaning back. "He has a few books here for when he needs to lay low for a bit."

That seems to surprise Nightwing, and you feel a bit victorious for knowing something he doesn't about your shared friend.

"So he just hangs out here sometimes?" Red Robin asks, finally joining the conversation.

"Yeah? Not all the time, but every week or two. He doesn't call me his Safehouse Bestie for nothing. I earned that title the hard way. He didn't talk much to me at first, just came to get patched up, but then we started snarking at each other, and now we watch shitty Netflix shows together. Sometimes we'll just sit on opposite ends of the couch and read our own books for a few hours. He's a good man. I'd trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his." You give a little shrug at the end of your speech.

There's an odd look on Nightwing's face that you can't place. It's not jealously, but almost like he understands something that you haven't yet pieced together. Whatever it is, he apparently decides that Red Robin needs to know but you don't, and you frown as he leans over and whispers in the other man's ear.

"Hey," you grumble, kicking gently at Nightwing's foot, "No secrets in my apartment that I'm not allowed to hear. At least not if they involve me somehow. Spill."

Red Robin's nose wrinkles, warping his mask a bit. "Nightwing thinks Hood has a crush on you. I don't know if I agree with that conclusion. I'd have to see you two interact to be sure."

You go very, very still and stare down at the two vigilantes on your rug, uncomfortable for the first time this evening. Does Red Hood have a crush on you? It would be an absolute dream come true, but you haven't dared to dwell on the idea for more than a few stolen moments, because you don't think it could actually be real. But Nightwing and Red Robin have been working with Red Hood for longer than you've actually known him. If Nightwing thinks it's true, could it be?

"Is he even interested in guys?" you ask, voice smaller than you intend it to be.

"Yeah, he's had crushes on guys before," Nightwing confirms.

"And you think he'd be into me even though I'm--" you cut off, realizing you haven't even come out to them yet, and yet here you are asking if Jason would date a trans guy.

Even with a mask in the way, you can see that Nightwing's expression is sympathetic. You don't want sympathy, you just want an answer.

"Yeah, I don't think that'll be a problem for him," Nightwing finally answers, voice soft and reassuring. It punches the air from your lungs, and you have to look anywhere but at his face.

"Okay, cool," you say far more calmly than you feel. Your pulse is racing at this confirmation that you might actually have a chance with the man you've been in love with for over a year now.

You don't get any more time to interrogate the two, because suddenly Batman is at your door, stoic and silent as ever. You do your best to appear nonthreatening as you collect Nightwing and Red Robin's mugs of tea just for something to do with your hands and to get you out of the living room. You can hear a hushed conversation happen briefly, and then Nightwing says your name.

When you look up, Batman is carrying Red Robin out the door, and Nightwing is leaning against your couch on his good side. You raise a brow in silent question, and he gives a dimpled smile.

"I just wanted to say don't worry too hard about it. Jay's a good man under all that tough battle-hardened exterior. You seem like you'd be good for him, regardless of what role you take in his life."

Not thinking is easier said than done, but you nod and return his smile. "Thanks, Nightwing. You guys take care and heal up. You can visit if Jason is cool with it, but the oreos are off limits."

He grins at you one more time, gives a lazy salute, and then hobbles out the door. Once he's gone, you return to the couch and flop down in exhaustion to think.

-----

You don't mean to fall asleep, but the next that you're aware your apartment is dark around you and you can hear the soft careful footsteps that Jason always uses to make sure you're aware of his presence. You sit up and stretch out stiff muscles with a little groan, and you hear a familiar chuckle from the direction of the kitchen.

"Have a good nap?" Jason asks, flicking the lights back on and coming to join you on the couch. He's holding a new pack of oreos, and you grin when you see them.

"Yeah, had to get rid of the headache your friends gave me," you tease. "Thanks for replacing the oreos. You didn't have to do that tonight, you know."

"Nah, I wanted to come see you, and I figured I might need a bribe to get me in through the door if you were too annoyed by them." He takes off his helmet after he sits, and you try not to stare, but it's hard now that you have the thought that he might like you back planted firmly in your mind. You must be looking at him weird, because his brows furrow and he groans. "Okay, what did they tell you? And don't say they didn't say anything, because I know those assholes."

"Well, for starters, I heard about the golly gee I've been bamboozled thing," you say, mouth turning up at one corner but not able to give a full smile through your nerves.

"And that changed your impression of me that much? I've recited Shakespeare in front of you before..."

"No, there... there was something else too, I'm just not sure how to bring it up," you say, clearing your throat and shifting your position on the couch.

"That bad, huh? There's a few things it could be..." You can practically see Jason's mood tanking as his mind goes someplace dark, and you reach out to put a hand on his arm on pure instinct alone. His eyes snap up to meet yours.

You don't touch each other casually. Almost all skin on skin contact occurs when you're cleaning his wounds. Other than that, you tend to stay firmly on your own sides of the couch. Not that you don't want to cuddle up to him, you'd love to! But it always seemed like a hard boundary that he wasn't comfortable crossing, and you didn't want to drive him away by crossing it yourself.

The air feels suddenly heavy between you, and you can't take your eyes off of his, even with his domino shielding them from you.

"They uh... they didn't agree on it. Nightwing thinks... He thinks you might have a crush on me? But Red Robin said he'd have to see us interact before he could confirm it." You say, your mouth gone dry and your voice squeaking an octave higher from nerves.

There's a long silence before Jason speaks.

"And how did you feel hearing that?" he asks with his voice perfectly even, giving you absolutely no insight into his thoughts.

"A little confused, a little excited, a little scared," you reply with a shrug. "I mean, I know we're friends, but you've never indicated you feel more than that for me. We've never really flirted or anything. I wasn't sure if you even like guys, or specifically if you'd be interested in dating a guy like me. So it was a lot to take in, you know?" you ramble.

Jason chuckles, and your face falls. You turn your gaze to the floor, trying not to look as hurt as you feel by that little sound.

"Hey, look at me," he says, voice worried and soft. You don't, but he continues speaking anyway. "I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at myself, and at Nightwing. But not you, never you." A gloved hand grabs yours, thumb stroking softly across the back of your hand. You swallow hard and slowly lift your gaze to look at him, and he gives you a small smile.

"He was right, you know. I do have a crush on you. I was just scared of ruining what we've already got, you know, that old cliche." he squeezes your hand gently, and you smile.

"Yeah? That's why I never did anything either," you say with a little laugh. "We're a pair of dumbasses. I'm glad Nightwing said something, or we'd just go on sitting on our separate sides of the couch forever I guess."

Jason snorts a laugh, and then almost shyly he removes his domino mask. It's not like you haven't seen him without it before, but now it feels different, more intimate. You take a moment to admire his eyes, but then he hauls you in for a crushing hug.

"Been wanting to hold you in my arms for months now," he murmurs in your ear, and you melt into him as you return the hug. Both of you just sit there for a while, but eventually you have to shift because he didn't pull your legs into a very comfortable position. You turn carefully, eventually settling into a straddle so you can press closer to him, and you just try not to think too hard about it.

It's easier to forget when he kisses you. Your mind goes blissfully blank, and you just focus on the way his lips feel against yours. It doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen, though you can't even really remember which of you did it. All that matters is the feel and taste of him, the weight of his hand against the back of your neck as he tips your head to the side to nip at the sensitive skin behind your ear. You barely even recognize your own voice at first when you hear the soft, pleased noise that slips out.

When the two of you finally part for a moment to breathe, you can see that Jason's lips are swollen and his pupils are blown wide, and when you try to shift you weight he immediately stills you with a gasp and both hands on your waist.

Your thoughts return, and you look at him, concerned. "Are you hurt? Why didn't you tell me, Jason?"

"Not hurt," he groans. "Just, need you to either not move for a bit or to keep moving but be very sure about it first."

Oh. Oh.

It's a powerful feeling, a bit of a rush to know that you're able to do that to Red Hood. It's even more of a rush to know you're able to do that to Jason Todd, the man you've been head over heels in love with for nearly a year now.

You make eye contact with him, and then you give one slow, deliberate grind of your crotch against his. Jason moans, and the sound rumbles through his chest.

"Shit, babe-- can I call you that? I can call you something else if you want-- Just don't, don't tease me unless you mean it."

"You can call me babe," you reassure him. "And I do mean it. I don't know if I'm up for everything tonight, but this is more than fine with me." You grind down on him again.

"Can't think when you're doing that," Jason complains, and his fingers flex against your waist, but he doesn't dig in. "Stop for a second? Not that I'm not enjoying this, 'cause I am, but we gotta... we gotta talk. I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or upset."

He's always so thoughtful, and it warms your heart, even as you reluctantly still your hips. "I'll tell you if you do anything I don't like," you promise, but he shakes his head.

"Wanna know beforehand so I don't do it at all," he explains. It's definitely the least sexy part of tonight, but it does make sense to hash it all out now instead of fumbling in the moment.

"Okay," you say with a soft smile. "For me, my chest is off limits, and I want you to use masculine terms for my body, like cock, hole, that sort of stuff. What about you?"

Jason seems surprised at the question, and he has to think for a moment. "I, uh... You can touch me over my shirt, but I'd like to keep it on, at least for now." You know why. You've seen the autopsy scars once before when you helped stitch up his shoulder, but you understand why he might feel differently about it in this situation. You nod to make sure he knows you understand.

He hesitates before adding, "and uh, sometimes things don't quite work all the way for me. I think it's the whole coming back from the dead thing. I can get hard, but sometimes I can't actually get off. I'll either stop when I get oversensitive or when I go soft, but I just can't cum." He won't meet your eyes until you take his face between your hands and turn him to look at you.

"That's okay. We'll do what feels good for both of us, and we'll stop or change things up if something doesn't work out. This is about us enjoying our time together, not just an orgasm."

The next kiss starts out slow, and it takes a minute for the two of you to resume your rhythm. Now that you've agreed on things, you're nervous, both of you worrying about making sure the other enjoys whatever comes next. Eventually you end up back where you started, though, Jason moaning softly as you grind against him. Eventually he stops you again, blushing and mumbles something you don't quite catch.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?"

"I'm uh... I'm wearing a cup, with my uniform. I gotta take it off. Can't feel you as much as I want to, and things are getting a little tight."

He helps you off of him, and you sit in his spot on the couch as he turns around to peel out of his uniform until he's down to just his undershirt and his briefs. When he turns back he looks almost shy, and you give him an encouraging smile.

"Damn, I knew you had muscles, but your thighs are ridiculous," you say, reaching out a hand to ghost up one leg from knee to hip. Jason shivers under your touch. It's not where he wants your hand to be, and you both know it, but he at least attempts to keep up the cocky façade. "If you like my thighs that much, you're welcome to ride one of them." He doesn't expect the soft groan that earns him.

"Are you kidding me? Half of Gotham dreams of riding your thighs, Jason. You ought to see the things people say on twitter."

That seems to help his confidence bounce back, and Jason cages you in under him on the couch. "Oh yeah? Are you one of the people saying things on there? Or do you just keep your dirty thoughts about my thighs to yourself?"

"My dirty thoughts are between me and my hand, good sir," you laugh and slide out from underneath him. Jason almost pouts until he realizes you're just pulling off your pants as well. He settles back onto the couch to watch appreciatively.

With less layers between you, you can see the shape and size of his body better, the shape and size of his cock. Your mind races with all the possibilities of what you can do together. "How do you want to do this?" you ask him softly.

"Uh, the thigh riding idea sounded nice, if you're actually into that," he admits, a flush rising high on his cheekbones. "I think it'd be hot to see you get off, and I wouldn't have to worry so much about my ability to perform."

"Sounds like a plan to me," you say with a grin as you climb back onto the couch, carefully positioning yourself to straddle one large thigh. You take Jason's hands and place them back on your waist with an encouraging smile. "Here, so you can be an active participant. Guide me, and feel free to push up with your thigh to help set the rhythm."

"Holy shit," Jason whispers, "you really have thought about this, haven't you? You weren't joking."

"I've literally ridden a pillow to orgasm wishing it was your thigh, Jason," you say, a challenge in your voice, and he lets out a low groan and shifts his thigh beneath you, grazing your cock through your underwear.

That's how it starts, a bit awkward at first, but eventually you establish a rhythm with Jason's hands at your waist to steady you. He tenses and bounces his thigh beneath you, giving a bit more pressure against your cock as you grind against him.

"Can I touch you?" you ask, and he nods eagerly, guiding your hand to his cock where it strains against his briefs. You slip your hand inside, not wanting to stop grinding while he pulls them off, and he doesn't seem to mind just pushing the fabric down a bit so you can slide your fist around him, smearing his precum down the head and over the shaft.

Combining the two motions into one rhythm is a bit more difficult at first, but once you figure it out it's the best feeling you've ever experienced. Jason groans low in his chest every time you rub your thumb over the sensitive head of his cock, and you wonder what it would be like to have him in your mouth. It's a good idea for next time. Right now, you can't stop the delicious slide of your body against his thigh. Your underwear are wet with your own pre-cum and the fabric's drag on your cock enhances the stimulation that much more. It isn't long before you're a panting, moaning mess and you want to lay your head on his chest to hide your face, but you can't. Jason said he wanted to see your face as you came, and you're determined to give him that. It doesn't hurt that he's looking at you in awestruck wonder, as if you're some celestial beauty and not just his safehouse bestie turned boyfriend.

"I'm close," you pant, and Jason redoubles his efforts, hands holding just a little tighter to your waist as he guides you in grinding against him. You can feel the tightening sensation that precedes your orgasm, and you whine Jason's name as you cum. The rhythm of your hand on his cock falters, but Jason doesn't care because all that matters in that moment is holding you as you come down from that high. He presses gentle kisses to your nose, your cheeks, your temples, and eases you down to lay on his chest while you catch your breath.

When you can finally think coherently, your hand goes back to his cock, but he stops you with a smile. "That was enough for tonight, babe."

Your brows furrow and you ask, "Are your sure?" wanting to make sure he isn't just saying what he thinks you want to hear, but he nods.

"Yeah, I'm good. That was-- shit, I don't even have the words. You were gorgeous like that, sweetheart. Now I just wanna hold you for a while."

"Bed? We'd be more comfortable there," you offer sleepily.

Jason dutifully carries you through the apartment to your bedroom. The sheets are cold when you get there, so you curl up against his chest when you settle into the blankets together. Both of you are tired and satisfied, so it isn't long before you fall asleep tangled in each other's arms.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #trans man reader #trans masc reader

[yanderepuck]

@weird-profiterole

Michelangelo: *to Salaì* looks like you got some stuff going on. Do you want to tell me what you did? Wanna tell me who you did? Was it a girl?

~~

Salaì: what do we call a man who has money and tries to control you

Michelangelo: Daddy

~~

Michelangelo: hey you look really good. What's going on

Salaì: thank you. I showered

~~

Salaì: this morning I unblocked someone to see if they wanted to bang, but they didn't respond quick enough so I blocked them again. I'm healing

~~

Salaì: to think I stayed up past my bedtime just for you to call me a thot

~~

Salaì: I admire Betta fish because I too am beautiful and want to fight everyone

~~

*texting*

Salaì: don't let me drink any more tonight

Michelangelo: I literally see you drinking an entire bottle of whiskey across the room right now

~~

Michelangelo: *bit Salaì and walked away*

Salaì: hey! You gave me a boner, don't ignore me!

~~

Michelangelo: *writing* day 532 without sex: I actually don't even need sex because my anxiety is fucking me harder than anyone ever could

~~

Salaì: today is the type of day where I wish vodka came out of the shower

~~

Michelangelo: when did you figure out Salaì was a trouble maker?

Leonardo: the very next day

Salaì: I stole his money and told him I was about to make his life harder than his dick

Leonardo: he was 10

~~

Michelangelo: I'm worried about you

Salaì: *dunks an Oreo in whiskey* really? How come?

~~

Salaì: what that mouth do ~

Michelangelo: talk shit

~~

Salaì: *has been drinking* if you can put his dick in your mouth, you can talk to him about what's bothering you

Michelangelo: *crying having a mental breakdown* you're right

~~

Michelangelo: I'm hot. I'm perfect. Any man would be lucky to have me!

Michelangelo: just have to do something about that damn crippling depression

~~

Michelangelo: *singing while cooking* everyday, imma getting closer to taking a bath with a fucking toaster

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp michelangelo #ikevamp salaì #ikevamp oc #ikevampoc #lil italia villa

[nightwingvixen23]

*at the grocery store*

Tim : *throws an armload of Family Sized oreo packs into Dicks cart*

Jason : *tosses pack after pack of Family Sized boxes of Captain Crunch into Dicks cart*

Dick : awww, look at you two ! picking and choosing snacks for the whole family !! so cuuute 💙

Tim : *pointing to oreos*

Tim : no. those mother fuckers are for me and me only

Jason : *tossing in more cereal*

Jason : ditto

Dick : but you guys got all the "Family Sized" packs. get some regular size ones if you're not gonna share. be sensible

Tim : bold of snacking companies to even assume I'd share with my family

Jason : bold of snacking companies to even assume I have a family

Dick : who hurt you Jason

Jason : *whips out list*

Jason : Number 1: Bruce Jerk Off. Number 2: Slade Fuck Face. Number 3: Tim Wannabe Jason Todd--

Tim : excuse me ??

Jason : pipe down bitch

Tim : come AGAIN hoe ???

Jason : that's why I stole your man

Tim : oOoh ! so you really finna wanna throw down hUuh ????

Tim : *rolls up sleeves*

Tim : let's gOoO tHeN--!!

Dick : *slams head into cart*

Damian : count today as being the very last time that I will ever be viewed by the public eye with you embarrassments to human nature

Cassandra : *eating a bag of grapes while watching the drama unfold*

Stephanie : *munching on a donut*

Duke : *eyes Steph suspicously*

Duke : where in the hell did you even get that from--??

Stephanie : *shushes Duke quickly*

Duke : 👀

Stephanie : . . . it's a secret 😏

Cassandra : she stole it from a small child--

Stephanie : OKAY THANK YOU TATTLETALE ! DAMN ! DIDNT EVERYBODY NEED TO EVEN kNoW THAT SHIT THO--!

#random batkid outings #jason todd #red hood #drama ass Jay is my jam #tim drake #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #stephanie brown #spoiler #cassandra cain #batgirl #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #the signal #timkon #jaykon

[healpeony]

Writing Prompts

1. “Do you trust him/her?”

2. “Yes, I do”

3. “I'll die for you”

4. “Okay, no need to be dramatic.”

5. “This sucks”

6. “it's your fault”

7. “You were the one tied me up!”

8. “Are you dead already?”

9.“No, but I wish.”

10. “Stop following me you animal!” 11. “Your dog can't speak!”

12. “I wasn't speaking to him”

13. “Do I look ugly?”

14. “Why do you ask? I know you're going to kill me if I say yes.”

15. “You're adorable”

16 “Shut up.”

17. “I'm hungry”

18 “You just ate.”

19. “You look sexy”

20. “I'm naked in your goddamn bed you idiot”

21. “Did you just kiss me?”

22. “Finally you're awake!”

23. “That's disgusting!”

24. “You stink, go take a shower.”

25. “I love you.”

26. “... What”

27. “I don't know what I would do if you weren't there for me.”

28. “Please don't leave me..”

29. “You have never looked at me like that..”

30. “I want you to be happy, even if it is with him/her”

31. “Who found out assholes exist?, What were they looking for”

32. “You're weird”

33. “I want to squeeze your cheeks”

34. “Do you believe in love at first-”

35. “Stop”

36. “What are you talking about?”

37. “Aliens do exist”

38. “What are you doing?”

39. “Do you love me?”

40. “You cheated!”

41. “Is not what you think..!”

42. “Give me my oreo back”

43. “I miss my mom..”

44. “I can't believe I actually married you.”

45. “Always”

46. “I just can't believe she/he's dead, is too much!”

47. “I want to die”

48. “You don't understand!”

49. “Believe in me please.”

50. “We can do this together.”

51. “Why are you so complicated?”

52. “Just tell me you love me one last time.”

53. “Fuck me”

54. “Gladly”

55. “You deserve this, for your fucking attitude.”

56. “You have a daddy/mommy kink?, I can't believe this.”

57. “No! I don't like being choked.”

58. “I'm sorry”

59. “Prove it” “How”

60. “We weren't meant to be”

61. “Do you cook?”

62. “I needed to get myself a woman/man that could cook anyways.”

63. “You look way so innocent to be like this.”

64. “Oh so you're finally begging now?”

65. “Get on your knees.”

66. “My throat hurts”

67. “What are you doing here? You're sick you need to rest!”

68. “I'm pregnant”

69. “I'm carrying a human inside of me, I'm eating for both of us! Now let me eat my food at whatever pace I want.”

70. “You cursed me with this!”

71. “It hurts”

72. “If you don't shut up, you won't have a tongue!”

73. “Come to mama/papa”

74. “Look, it's our baby”

75. “I can't believe we made that!”

76. “You don't know what women go through every month!”

77. “Are you taking a shit?”

78. “Never say that to me again.”

79. “I didn't know you could do that”

80. “Go on, explain to me why you are being so disobedient.”

81. “Are you Jealous?”

82. “Kiss me”

83. “Hey! You stole something from me!”

84. “You can't save me if I'm already dead.”

85. “It was good to be part of your life.”

86. “You.. flinched”

87. “I will never hurt you.. don't you ever think that”

88. “It was just a prank! Come back!”

89. “Oh come on, I'm sexy admit it”

90. “You're special to me”

Headcannons

1. You twerking in some showy clothes

2. How they/he/she react to you snapping at someone

3. How they react to you not being as innocent as you seem.

4. How they/he/she meet you.

5. What you may have in common.

6. What kinks they have.

7. Who's the dom and sub of the relationship.

8. What they think of you.

9. You cry infront of them/her/him for the first time.

10. Reaction to you saying you're pregnant.

11. How your kids would be.

12. They flinch during a argument. (For animes that I write where fighting is really normalized only!)

13. How often you fight.

14. Who's more likely to cheat.

15. Who said the special 3 words first?

You can make your own headcannon scenario, just request.

You guys can find the request rules here

#prompt list #writing #prompt fill #writing prompt #aot x reader #shingeki no kyoujin #aot oneshots #attack on titan #aot writer #aot fanfiction #aot angst #aot fluff #anime #aot #aot smut

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for your girlfriend, Natasha, throwing you a birthday party

Natasha Romanoff x reader

warnings:

a/n: its my brothers bday today and we were discussing why i hate mine (bc there are 6 family bdays in september and mines last and so nobody feels like celebrating it 😌✨) im coping i swear (takes place slightly before aou)

prompt: ^the title

spies are awfully good at throwing surprise parties!

you can’t tell if she wanted you to be happy or just scare the hell out of you but either way

the whole team is in on it

“if any of you spoil this for y/n, i’ll knock you unconscious and lock you in a coat closet”

“...yes ma’am”

she stole tony’s credit cards and bought you ANYTHING that she thought you would love

im talking balloons, chocolate fountain(s), an iron man piñata, and more

the other avengers wouldnt talk to you because they were afraid they’d slip and give away the surprise

“guys? helloooo? natasha, why aren’t they talking to me?”

“because, sweetheart, they’re all stupid. we love them, but they’re stupid”

“i can’t argue with that logic”

how can she be everywhere at the same time?????

she makes the team do her bidding

“steve, you’re tall, go hang up all the birthday banners”

“‘birthday banners.’ how about we duct tape bruce to the wall? think that’ll make a good birthday banner?” -tony

“yeah, can we not do that? i don’t really...no. never” -bruce

“hey, scientists? can you two try to do something productive?” -nat

thor insisted on a “lightning show”

instead, nat put him in charge of fireworks

“i shall obtain the fireworks, only the biggest and brightest for our y/n! correct?”

“you’ve got the right idea, thoreo”

“peculiar nickname, but i accept”

she calls him “thoreo” because he bought 6 cartons of oreos once and strayed away from his poptart phase, he now is in love with oreos

“happy birthday, y/n!”

she told you this before you even knew about the party, she just led you to the rec room and had the entire team jump out and getcha

“holy shit!”

you fell back and she caught you

“you like?”

“natasha, i love this! it’s amazing, thank you so much!”

kiss on da cheek mwah

the avengers pounced on you for a group hug bc they love youuuu!!!

“how’s it feel to be a year older, y/n?” -tony

“i just hope one day i’m as old as thor”

natasha would have bought a cake from a professional baker but she thought it would be sweeter to make a cake from scratch

it was four layers,,,,,magnificent

and two tiers

!!!!!!! and it was DELICIOUS

clint tried to smear it on your face but natasha played the uno reverse card and got him to smack it right into his own

you couldn’t stop laughing

presents!!! everyone got you presents (because natasha forced everyone to go to the mall with her)

bruce got you slippers but not just any slippers, cool fuzzy slippers with ducks on them 😎

steve got you a book !!!! a book about assassins (your favorite type of book bc it reminds you of natasha)

tony said “fuck it” and gave you a check for 10k, then said “let me know if you need more” and topped it off with a stuffed bear

thor got you a sword and you DEFINITELY have a sword collection now

clint said “broke bitches club” which made you snort and then handed you a picture frame with a picture of the whole team together, which you’d definitely be hanging up in your room

“booooo” -everyone

“come on guys, it’s the thought that counts” -steve

“he’s right” -you

“okay, boys, i’m about to blow your presents out of the water” -nat

“i thought that the party was my present?”

“well, i’ve got one more surprise for you”

miss natasha romanoff got down on one knee and pulled out a RING

the whole team started SHOUTING it was adorable and i swear to god you were crying and it was just.....magical

“y/n l/n, do you think i was right?”

“you usually are”

“i know...so, will you marry me?”

“yes!”

JARVIS started playing music and nat put the ring on you and you kissed her and the team couldn’t believe they just witnessed that and tony was taking pictures and AHHHHHH

none of them knew she was planning THIS

“i love you, y/n”

“i love you more, natasha”

“psh, no way!”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #black widow #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine

[ydolanssss]

A hood love story: G.D

Warnings: violence, sexual innuendos, a lot of cursing.

Pairing: Grayson Dolan X female reader.

Summary: bottom line is... remember where tf you came from.

-------------------------------------------------

Friday night lights.....most basic ass idea for a football game.

Just a whole shit-ton of rich ass white kids, acting like they hard when in actuality they have no awareness of anything outside of thier little gated community.

They weren't aware of the situation Grayson was in.

They either villainize him and where he's from, Or they romanticize where he's from. Either way they never talk to him.

They talk to ethan though, because unlike his brother he decided to just forget who he was and where he came from...that including his brother.

But you didn't think like them, you didn't treat people differently because of where they come from, or where they live. So you became friends with gray, best friends, and y'all were together all the time.

"hey gray you tryna go to the game today? You asked leaning on the locker next to his.

"there's a game?"

"yea against the cougars, you wanna go?"

"....mmm" gray never really went to any school event because well...he was kind of a loner, you didn't blame him tho.

"pleeeeeaaaseee, gray can we?" You asked with pleading eyes, and a quivering pouty lip.

"...fine"

"YESSIRRR, let's goo" you shouted, and skipped to class.

You went through the next couple of classes pretty quickly, went home, did some homework and waited for Grayson to come over.

"when you coming over hoe"

"I'm already outside, come on"

You run outside lock the door, hop in the car and head back to the school. The game had already started, but no one had scored yet. You and gray sit on the bleachers, and eat some popcorn.

"who you think finna win?" Gray said shoving food in his mouth. "I don't know, but prolly not our school, they haven't won a game in like...ever."

"true true" gray nodding in agreement untill his phone starts ringing. "Ayo hold up I gotta take this."

"hmm oh okay, I'll stay here" reassuring him. He walks to the back of the bleachers, "yo, wassup?"

*Anonymous* "Ayo when I see you, you getting lit tf up".

"Whoa, what? Who is this?" Gray asked confused as too who was tryna kill him.

"you know who this is lil bruh, it's daymen, oscars brother. You stole some shit from him the other day, and gave it to ya lil rich ass friends."

"what? Rich ass friends? Ion got no rich ass friends."

"okay okay, so you gon lie to me now huh?, Alright look, bring my lil brother his money or you getting lit tf up, and I take ya lil bitch for myself. You know the fine one, wit the braids."

"Don't you fuckin touch her."

Meanwhile you on the bleachers

"bitch what the fuck are you talking about?" Looking at claire and her lil posse.

"you know what I'm talking about, how long you been fucking my boyfriend."

"claire....who's your boyfriend?" You ask genuinely curious, because you do not keep tabs on miss bam-ba-lam-my-cars-a-hundred-grand.

"Grayson is duh." Because apperently that was common knowledge.

"g-grayson, Grayson Dolan the brother of Ethan Dolan, correct, just to make sure, Grayson with a "a" and a "o" not a I or a E. That Grayson?" Ya know...just to be clear.

"yes that Grayson, god are you dense?!"

"Oh no ma'am very much I am not, because the only grayson i know, don't fuck with bitches like you. Oh hell no, cuz yall don't fuck with people like him. And out of the mother fucking blue, he's your man, sweet-pea, i-is that what you telling me?" Because miss ma'am got you fucked alllll the way up.

"oh really how are you gonna tell me who I'm dating, I had sex with and who stole weed for me?" You pause....

"bruh what? Ugh now I know you tripping because Grayson don't fucking smo-"

"Aye, come on! Games boring anyway." Grayson yells from the bottom of the bleachers.

"alrighty well, miss. Thing I don't know what to tell you. Gods speed finding your Grayson because mine don't smoke." You picked up your things and walked with gray back to the car.

"hey what was the call about?" You asked

"huh? Oh it's was just my mom asking how long we were gonna stay at the game, I told her for the next hour so we could go do something else." He said.

You notice he kept looking around a lot, like he's was paranoid, waiting for something to happen.

"gray you good? You keep looking around, what's wrong?" You out ur hand on his shoulder concerned.

"huh?! Ohh nothing nothing let's go, come on"

He drags you to the car, and open the door for you, and he gets in the driver's side and drives off.

"ok I guess, um whatcha wanna do, wanna go to the park, or that on abandoned house that has a perfect view of the sunset, or ice cream, or ice cream and sunset. You looked at him, lip pouting head turn to the side, waiting for answer.

"uhh...ice cream only I wanna get you home okay?" He sighs, hands gripping the wheel tight as hell.

"umm what no I don't wan-"

"No! I have to get you home. I just, I just do, okay? Please I'm sorry for yelling come here." As you two pull in to the ice cream parlor's parking lot.

You lean in and he kisses you on your forehead, " I just need to be safe okay, it's late I don't want you out at night okay?"

"what? What do you mean I'm with you?"

He walks to your side of the car to open the door, "I know but....you cant be around me now at night at least it's not safe." After you get out he walks to the counter and tells you the get a table, you stand puzzled for a bit but you go anyway.

when he gets back with two oreo milkshakes, you ask him, "gray wait why isn't it safe? Why can't I be around you? What going on?." You ask frantic, worried your friend is in some sort of trouble.

"just because you can't don't- who is that?"

He asks leaned down a little.

"who is who? You turn around, and see a car speeding towards you both." Gray grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"GET DOWN! GO RUN BACK TO THE CAR!"

You do, you get to the car get inside and lean down, then you hear gun shots fire.

*bow bow bow bow*

The car skids off and everything is quiet, you look up and you see Grayson laid out on the ground. "oh my god...".

You get out hesitantly walking towards his body, "g-gray...baby, please oh God please no, god don't tell me he's gone" tears streaming down your face, you can't bare to walk any closer, and you drop to your knees and sob.

"no..please not my best friend." As the smoke clears you say this, the sun is setting in the background, it's a somber feeling somehow you feel safe and sad at the same time, while in that same moment your best friend, very much could be breathing his last breaths.

Then, like the miracle baby he is, Grayson wakes up, with a hell of pain in his shoulder. "Wha-? Ohh fuck my shoulder, holy shit, wait where's? Hey, hey, pretty girl why you crying?" He asks litterally sitting up looking at you holding his shoulder.

You stop crying, eyes shoot open. "Wha- GRAY!!" you run over and hug him, crying.

"i-i thought you were dead, *sniff* you were-*sniff* laying there not moving." Say sobbing into his shoulder.

He holds you with his good arm, "shh shh, it's ok, I'm not dead baby, I'm right here, I'm bleeding out of my shoulder and I should probably go to the hospital, but im not dead." His head sitting on top of yours

"oh shit, yea okay let's go." You help him to the car and start driving, you drop him off at the hospital and tell him you're gonna go take care of something.

You get back in your car and drive to a harbor, you then park and start disassembling his gun.

"god...I don't even know why he has this thing, granted he did get shot at but for fucks sake." You mumbled to yourself.

You speed back to the hospital,the doctors tell you he already out of surgery and he's doing fine, and they tell you his room number.

You walk back to his room. "Hey...Grayson baby, you okay?" You whisper not wanting to scare him.

"hmm? Oh yea hey come in." He's sitting up in bed both of his arms in slings. "Can you do me a favors and grab my juice box?"

You look on his tray and there's a little apple juice, juice box on it. "Oh yea sure sweetie." You poke the straw through the hole and hold it up to his mouth.

"Thank you."

"your welcome lovie." The doctor came in. "Ah, I see your already on it, that's good, very sweet of you." You look at him confused.

"um care to explain sir, or am I slow."

He chuckles, "my apologies, um since your friend, I'm assuming has two bad shoulder that have made him unable to move his arms at all he will need around the clock assistance."

You set down the juice box that he basically breathed in. "What do you mean both shoulders I thought he only got shot in one?"

"oh he did but his other shoulder is slightly sprained it's should heal up in a around 2 and a half weeks, while the other shoulder should take at most 4, but normally three. So due to his situation, his arm mobility is hindered untill a later date." He says with his arms crossed over his clip board.

You sit next to gray and look at him, "well I'm down, it's not like we don't spend every single second with each anyway." Gray laughs, "yea I guess thats true."

The doctors clear him and you help him get dressed but since it was late you threw a hoodie on him since there was no use for the sleeves.

You both get in the car and drive to your house, "come on gray we gotta get you to sleep." You tap and rub his tummy to wake him.

You get him up and walk up stairs to your bathroom. "Ok lemme brush your teeth." You sit on the sink and brush for him.

"okay that's done. Um alright it's 2 am ur tired I'm tired we can do the rest tomorrow okay?" You ask Grayson who's barley keeping his eyes open. "Okayyy." He says yawning.

"all right let's go to bed." You walk him over to the side of the bed and help him sit down.

" all right be careful and don't drop all the way down be careful not to lose your- oh fuck!"

You both lost your balance and fell on the bed, your on top of him millimeters away from his face. You never really looked at Grayson that way, never really looked at his eyes, dark as the ocean pulling you deeper and deeper to the point where you don't care if you drown.

Or his lips, they look so soft and smooth, if you were to kiss them it would feel like silk pillows. His lips..."oh fuck his lips."

Grayson catches your eyes staring at his lips and he sits up. "My lips baby, hmm that what you want?" You both sitting up on the bed. "Where? Your neck, cheek?" He drags his nose up the side of your neck to your ear.

"or that pretty little pussy?"

You gasp and get up off of him. "Um okay time to go to bed for real this time. Uh you good? you okay? Need any thing?"

"uh nah, nah I'm good. I guess...I'm laying flat then?" You turn to look at him.

"um yea I think that would be best."

You both start to relax and go to sleep.

"hey gray? I gotta ask you something, you know what's up with clair because she came up to me claiming I'm fucking her boyfriend, who's apperently you and also you stole some weed for her and that just dosent make sense to me."

He jerks his head to look at you "wait what!? When?"

"when you left to answer the phone she said your her boyfriend and she would know the person's she's been fucking and the guy who stole weed for her."

"so that's why- ughh fucking ethan."

"what? What about him? And what was that phone call about?"

He sighed "okay so I got a phone call from this guy named daemin, and I guess he thinks I stole weed from his little brother oscar, and I guess he's been watching me or something he said if I don't get his money he'll light my ass up and he'd go for my lil bitch himself, the one with the braids."

"oh shit so it was Ethan who stole the weed and prolly gave that guy your number, and prolly claimed he was you...now what the fuck wrong with claire?"

"Claire don't know that theres two of us and she don't talk to people he's friends with so he probably lied to her to."

Laying there in shock you think to yourself. "What kinda fucked up shit you got going on to lie about your whole identity and pretend to be your twin brother that you treat like shit?"

"ion know ask him."

You said it outloud.... again. "Oh shit my bad. But I will actually."

"what? No don't-"

"no gray this shit is crazy. YOU GOT SHOT! I'm not gonna let him get away with that shit gray! Now go to bed."

He sighs and closes his eyes.

——————————————————————

Next morning comes around. You wake up early to make grays' breakfast. A protein shake with some greek yogurt mixed with fruit.

You go back upstairs and he's awake.

"hey boo sorry to keep you waiting. I was making your breakfast. Need help?"

"yeth please."

"okay silly, sit up, legs out, and stand up on three okay? One, two, three...theeeere we go."

You walk over to the bathroom. Brush his teeth, wash his face and...help him pee.

"okay so how do you wanna do this gray?"

"umm you could hold it? If you wanna."

"seriously grayson. But that's like-"

"look your gonna have to bathe me at one point within these three weeks so like might as well get used to it."

"mm true, gosh okay."

You pull his pants down quickly trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

"okay so do I just like h-hold it or something? Or like do I just let it hang there?"

"no no you got to hold it bro otherwise I'll piss on myself then you have to change my pants and my underwear and wipe my legs down."

"ewww... Okay okay I guess this is better. Um sorry if my hands are cold."

"your all good."

"speaking of shower, let's just get that out the way because you haven't showered in a brick."

He sighs "alright"

You help him get his clothes off and turn on the shower.

"alright hop in big dic- oop- I mean big head." You giggle to yourself.

"ouu ok baby, oh and just for pure curiosity, which head?"

You slowly turn to him. "The one that made you think of that dumbass question, goofy get in, naughty ass."

"okay! Okay! Shit you the naughty one." Said with a smirk followed by a failed and painful attempt to slap your ass.

"ow! Ow! Fuck my shoulder!"

"and that's what ya get, hop in." You say giving him a pinch on the ass.

"what a nice butt, good for you!"

"thank you queen." He smiles

"your welcome king." And proceed to bathe him

-------------------------------------------------

A couple hours later you left Grayson at home with him and a tv and left out all the snacks on the counter at a reachable level, whole you went out and....handle some business.

On the phone: "hey, meet me at the bleachers okay I need to talk to you about something."

"uh yea sure I'll be there."

A couple hours later, your sitting on the bleachers with the cold New Jersey air, causing your nose to become ice cold.

"hey." You jumped.

"oh shit! Oh hey sorry you scared me."

"ha, yea um sorry about that, so what did you wanna talk about?"

Now to most that seems like a very obvious question, it'd go something like 'hey why the fuck did you lie about your identity and completely drop your twin fucking brother'. Right? No.

The problem is you and Ethan have history, which also adds to the reason why your a lot closer to gray than Ethan and was like the breaking point of Ethan and Grayson relationship.

Basically in freshman year of highschool you and Ethan....dated?? Well no you did date but...it was shorted lived because he decided to cheat...on you. Crazy right? I know. And you'll never guess who he cheated on you with.....Claire!!! Isn't that amazing, what a coincidence.

So the day you found out was kinda intense.....

"What is wrong with you!"

"Why would you do that to her!"

"As long as we've know her!"

"Huh Ethan! What's the matter with you! Who raised you! It wasn't ma! I most definitely wasn't dad!"

Grayson being the lovely, kind, understanding soul that he is decided to give Ethan a piece of his mind after consoling you in the living room.

"Jesus Grayson! It wasn't even that bad!"

With his hands on his hips, mouth ajar and eyes bugging out of his head.

"you've gotta be shitting me. You made out with the bitch ON SNAPCHAT! THEY GOT YOU IN 4K BRO! What do you mean it isn't that bad!"

"look why does it bother you so much? Like it's not your relationship. It's mine."

"Because your my brother and I love you and I love her to, I want her to be loved and appreciated the way she deserves, and I expected better from you, I never thought, my brother, a fucking scumbag of a man. Had the audacity to cheat on his girl. I guess I stand fucking corrected."

They sit in silence for a while. Your in the living room nervous because you've seen them fight of course but, never this heated.

"well if you love so damn much you be with her, I don't fucking want her if there's gonna be this much drama."

Time for you to get angry.

"First of all motherfucker you cheated! Don't you fucking switch this around on me."

Grayson stands in front of you, tear filling your eyes by the gallons.

"I fuckin loved you....so much, so hard...I did. And this what you fucking do...this the last time I love someone as much as I loved you."

And with that you stormed out. Grayson followed disgusted with his brother.

--------

"....so what did you wanna talk about."

You snap back into reality.

"umm well one your fucking brother was shot!"

He jumps back. "What?! Was he really? When by who?"

"a few days ago. most likely by a guy named oscar...who shot him because apparently, Grayson 'sober4L' Dolan™, stole weed from him. Now the only people in this damn highschool that smoke are those rich ass kids you hang out with, and gray got a phone call about this whole situation and claimed that if he didn't get his money or the weed back, he was gonna shoot up him and take his lil girlfriend, 'the one with the braids'."

He rocks back and forth anxiously, knowing he was caught.

"and of course the only girl he's around with braids is me."

"okay look i-"

"Aht aht wait, I'm not done."

"because at the same time grayson was on the phone I had and interaction with the lovely ms.claire. She claimed I was 'fucking her boyfriend' and I asked who and she said 'grayson the one who stole weed for me'."

He puts his head in his hands.

"so now I'm looking at her like she dumb because we both know Grayson dosent smoke, so a couple hours later I ask grayson about the situation and then he tells me about the phone call, so we put two and two together."

"so gray got a call from someone claiming he stole thier weed, claire your lovely girlfriend enlightened me on the fact that I was sleeping with her boyfriend, who stole weed for her. Knowing Grayson is neither dating her or smokes. So who on earth, could have Grayson's number, steal Grayson name and identity and create a whole new fucking life. Oh hmm let's start with the fuck-amato who made the fuck sure no one knew he was a twin and also dates the girl that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with...who just so happens to be the fucking twin. what do you have to say for yourself?"

There is a pause between you and him.

"umm....I'm sorry."

"y-your sorry....SORRY YA BROTHER GOT SHOT AND ITS ALL YOUR- you know what here what we're gonna do."

You pull out your phone and you had saved daemin's number.

"you are gonna call oscar and tell him the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and tell him you'll get his lil cousin his money back okay?" Because if not I will..."

"okay, okay, call him."

You call and the phone starts ringing. He picks up.

"hello?"

"hey daemin I have the actual guy you wanted to shoot at and damn near kill"

"word? Who is it then?"

"his twin brother."

"ohhhh shit. Aw damn aye is gray good man I feel like shit he didn't deserve this."

"he's fine but his brother ethan, on the other hand is the guy you should've got, but look since I don't want both of them shot the fuck up he is gonna over there and hand you the money okay?"

"shit alright"

You end the phone call and he sends you the address.

"alright let's go."

-------------------------------------------------

You and Ethan pull up to daemin's house.

"look when we get in here don't say shit give him the fckn money and don't say shit."

"alright alright"

You walk towards the door and knock on it. It's opens and there stands a guy around Ethan's height.

"um hi are you daemin?"

"yea that me, you got my money?"

"oh yea we do, Ethan give it to him"

He pulls 85 dollars out of his pocket

"here you go man, um sorry for-"

The door slammed in our faces.

"umm I guess that it-"

"how's Graysons shoulder?"

"oh it's good it's getting better I gotta get back to him though, he can't do everything by himself."

"alright cool I just wanted to make sure, does he need anything like I got bandages and a first aid."

"oh no no its fine my mom's a nurse I got all the stuff I need thank you though."

"alright bye drive safe"

"okay thank you!"

You and Ethan get back to the car.

Ethan turns to you. "Um he's nicer than expected."

"yea...um okay, I'm gonna take you back home. "

"yup okay sounds cool. "

The drive to Ethan's was awkward and quiet. He still stayed at him and Graysons childhood home. You haven't been there in years.

"well here we are. God it still looks the same."

"yea hasn't changed since the last time you've been here."

You turn to look at him.

"alrighty well- mphm"

Ethan kisses you holding the side of your face.

"I miss you. I do. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that, I took you for granted. Please give me another chance."

Your in shock to say the least. Staring at him in disbelief.

"...no Ethan."

"what? What do you mean?!"

"I mean no, I'm not going to go back to you I don't feel that way about you. And honestly once a cheater always a cheater, I just can't give myself back to the same person that changed me emotionally, to where it's hard for me to love people as much as I used to. Like what you do if I cheated on you, would you come back to me? And be honest with yourself."

He moves his hand.

"...no"

"exactly...so don't expect me to be the same. Goodbye Ethan."

He gets out and goes inside and you drive back to your place.

-------------------------------------------------

You come back home Grayson in the living room, on the couch.

You sit next to him and talk to him about what happened, he was worried and frustrated at first with the fact that you went but understood it was your life at risk to. A couple of weeks pass, Graysons wound is fixed and you guys are let out for winter break.

Spending time with Grayson made you realize, what you deserved in a relationship, the love, appreciation, affection, loyalty. All of it, you deserved it.

And you got it, you and Graysons infatuation with one another, grew bigger and bigger over winter break. The Christmas vibes, sleeping in onesies and making cookies. Making love next to the fire place, trails of kisses going down both his and your body.

Afterwords..."hey Grayson? Can I ask you something."

"of course beautiful what is it?"

"how would you feel if we went back to school, ya know together?"

"when were we going separately?"

"nooo silly like together, a thing, an "item". We go back in a relationship. If that's something you want?"

"Are fucking joking! Of course I would baby. God, I've been waiting." And with that you finally found the love of your life, whom which in the future you had your two twin daughters with. Inez and Felicity.

You've never been so content.

#gray #grayson dolan #grayson and ethan #grayson #love story #ethan dolan #bw #dolan twins

[justasimplesinner]

“ you gave them one oreo flavoured ice-cream and when i tell you that they literally stole the trucK” to be fat cookies and cream is elite 😌 (ALSO FUCK “CLITOURS MY MAN HOW YOUVE BEEN” IM FUCKING SCREAMING-)

cletus, clitoris, same thing my guy, still just a pussy

#ask #anonymous #lo and behold my comedic genius everyone #carnage #cletus kasady

[makalamacalla]

6yrs old

After you died, I never really knew what life was. A child’s brain is so foggy and developing , I don’t think I even knew in the first place. My childhood just never made sense from the jump. I never understood why dad was gone, or why I had to live in a trailer isolated with my hateful grandmother. My mom and sister lived together but I had to stay at grandmas. Things were messy between my biological father and mom. It was the safest place for me.

Mom dating after the death

A few months pass, it’s just my mom, my sister and I. Simple times, just us girls against the world. My mom doing her best to make ends meet and keep her head above water for her girls. My dad died December 24, 2001. 3 months before he died, my grandpa (my moms dad, her best friend) passed away. After the chaos, my mom moved all of back to my grandmas. It wasn’t just me anymore. Thank god. These times were really fun. I remember my mom used to get us a hotel for the weekend just to get away from my grandma, and we would have tons of fun just swimming. That’s all we wanted to do, was hang out at the pool~ acting like mermaids. We also would go to Indiana beach, amusement parks, play outside, my mom’s friends house often ... it was so much fun. That’s when the memories were really pure, so innocent. Gentle and warm.

The first date she went on, was with a guy named Randy. He was in a wheelchair. My mom looked at him more as a “friend” than a partner and it was the end of that. (I don’t blame her lol)

Dating just was not working out, she was on autopilot for awhile... nothing more. Working, dedicating her life to her girls, and staying strong... coasting.

Eventually, she met someone at work. As an adult, we’ve talked about that moment (recently, her marriage is rocky) . I’ll never forget when she said “he wasn’t my type at all...but he was persistent. He had kids too.” My stomach started to hurt; wishing she would’ve trusted her instincts. I suffered for years for you not trusting your instincts.

My mom went on a few dates with this guy from work, seemed to have fun and felt it was time to introduce her kids. It was normal at first. He would take all of us with them on dates, so we wouldn’t be left out & stuck at grandmas. Buy us stuff, and pretty soon I was like “yo you can just stay here with us!!!!” For the first time in my life; I was so happy this man was in our lives. How could I ever feel that way..

They move in together; a small duplex by winona. My sister & I shared a room, since it was only a 2 bedroom. Things were okay, I was in school now too. I was making friends. We met his kids, we would always get them for summer break. It was alright. They were fun and people to play & ride bikes with.

1st grade starts. My mom was working first shift, and her boyfriend just started working 2nds. My sister and I would often get home and my mom wouldn’t be there. It was just us. I remember the day it began.

I got home from school & my moms boyfriend greeted us. My sister went to the bedroom to do some homework & watch tv. I decided to just hang out in the living room, eat some chips. I remember going to sit on his lap, just hanging out after school. I’m sitting there on his knees, and he starts throwing me into the air, bouncing me up and down on his legs. Just watching tv...as a kid, this was fun!

I didn’t know that in a few moments, I would be looked at as prey. As an object. As nothing.

I was feeling SO uncomfortable moments before the words poured out of his mouth. He looks at me and says, “what, you like that?”

Like what exactly? I don’t even remember my thought process, I just got down and went to my room. I laid on my bed, just so confused about what just happened to me.. Was I just..? No I couldn’t be. I’m just a kid. I don’t know what’s going on. I am going to forget about this, I don’t even know how to interpret what THAT even was. Besides, my mom would be so mad at me. I don’t know how much more she can take? She’s been through so much.

Who would’ve thought this would spiral into something worse?

In order for me to have Oreos when my mom WASNT home, I was bribed.

He would watch me take baths. He would just look at me and touch himself, standing next to the tub. Looking at me while I am naked. If I wanted to bathe or have a snack, I would have to do something for it. It happened more than I want to admit.. I asked him once; what was the stuff that came out of you? He scoffed at me, and goes “it’s stuff that makes babies.” Making me feel so stupid for even asking that, as if I was supposed to know.

It continued for awhile. I was about to start 3rd grade, and had been sexually abused for the past year and a half. Any time I was alone with this man, I was touched.

It got to the point to where I started to realize, what’s going on ISNT okay.. I’m so scared. I didn’t even know who to talk to? I didn’t tell anyone, ever. I couldn’t be the reason why things were MORE fucked up. Not again..I just could not. I couldn’t be another person to break my moms heart.

I had the courage & told him I never want to do this stuff again. it was the last time he ever touched me, in that way..he tried to rape me but didn’t. I remember saying it hurt and he stopped. He told me to not tell my mom because I would make her so unhappy. This stays between us. The physical abuse stopped, but the lingering of the feeling never went away.... it still exists for me.

A few more months pass, and I just feel so uncomfortable in my own home. I was thinking about telling my mom, I really was.. and then something fucked up happened with his biological daughter. Just as I was about to come out about what was happening to me, she is telling family she just got molested too by one of his relatives. It was a huge deal, my mom and her new boyfriend were so on edge and calling her a LIAR!!! I remember my mom talking down about that situation, almost blaming the child..mom just couldn’t think or believe the adult would do that.. calling the child a liar. Forming opinions about his daughter; my mom never liked her. I don’t want her to not like me... even more.

So now what am I to do? We moved to silver lake in 3rd grade and that’s where I felt like the abused STOPPED but I was still looked at as prey. I was never touched again after we moved to the new house, but I always felt like I was being undressed with my eyes. This feeling never went away until I was 18 years old.

As an adult, I have to lie and hide my truth and it has really affected me. I feel like my whole life is a lie, and I just play a role in this play that has been going on. It tears me apart that not only do I live with this trauma, I am faced with it often. Until this day. I want my mom to be able to see her grandson but always feel uncomfortable because she is still with this sick fuck. They are married. Time has passed and there’s no way to prove anything, so I’ve always kept my secret. I’m starting to think I am crazy, a fake, and a bad person for not speaking my truth... but the truth would ruin my mom so badly. I never felt close to my mom anyways, I was the accident. So it’s not like it mattered. I felt like I always came in second place with my sister to my mom. They always had each other; and I was just pawned off to whoever would watch me while my parents tried to figure things out.. I just always felt like I don’t matter and I make people unhappy. Why add more fuel to that fire that was sparked since I was born?

I’ve had to move home twice in my adult life and live with the person who stole my innocence. I never am able to handle it and am always on the run. I have been addicted to drugs all my life I feel like. I do anything to block out the trauma. After awhile, you start to question if things even happened because life has always been disarray. Is this real life? My memories are so real. So depressing.

I’m so tired of running, I just want to be done. I’m just ready to be done with my mom, cuz I can’t bare to tell her why. I shouldn’t have to cut my mom off to feel ok, but she will never leave him and I can’t explain this. I just can’t. I’m not that little girl anymore, I’m an adult. I can choose who I want in my life...why dig up a bag of bones? The bone has been picked and I have let too much time pass. My mom has had multiple chances to leave this man but never does. No one in my life knows about it, nor will believe me. it’s baggage I carry everyday and feel so awkward anytime I want to see my mom. I love her so much. Her happiness meant so much more than my own..even as a kid. I saw the hurt she went through. Even as an adult, her happiness means more to me than my own, so I just eat shit and push through. Faking it till I make it. I don’t wish death on many people, but I feel the only way I will be at peace in this world is when my abuser is dead.

My mom and I are pretty close, maybe too close but it’s a lot better than what it was. I used to be an addict and had no relationship with her at all, she couldn’t stomach the thought of me. I was her ex husband through and through. Addicted to pills, and stupid. She helped me get sober and our relationship is really strong.. I can’t jeopardize this now.

My mom will vent sometimes & tell me how he gets mad that his old age and bad health prevents them from having a sex life. The inability to keep an erection... Do you know how fucking disturbing conversations like this are for me?? You’re literally talking about someone who ABUSED ME. I like to see that as Gods way of punishing the living... he fuckin deserves it. He will answer to all the things he has done, this is just a taste of his own medicine until it’s his time to answer.

So ultimately, I have tried to forgive myself and the person who did this to me, I heard it’s the right way of passage. It’s what good people do? I’m just having a hard time letting that go. For years, I just have random ticks in my head... did that really happen to me or am I just tripping? It happened so long ago, I’ve learned to just bury it all. I’m starting to forget but remember everything that happened to me all at the same time. Everytime I see him.

I have recently started on a new medication. I’m 23 and have been voiding out everything for the past 17 years. Suddenly there is no more “writers block” and i hear my thoughts for what they are. All I can think about now, is how can I protect my son? I don’t want what happened to me, to happen to him. It’s time to do what is best for me.

[eye-raq]

Stop it girl

Erik X Black Reader.

Warnings: Fluff, regular shit.

Summary: Erik was tired, laying out on the floor of him and his girls shared bedroom while scrolling through his phone.

“You want me to buy you a new tapestry? I saw one the other day when I was out buying some new Jordan 1s”

Erik walked back into the bedroom with a bowl of milk, double stuffed oreos floating on the top. He had his dreads braided back fresh; his home girl had her own natural hair shop and cleaned him up nice with a fresh retwist and a tappered fade. He had on grey sweats that hung loose on his hips, and no shirt.

“What did it look like? You know I’m picky.” His girl, Blessing, was into anything bohemian with soft grunge. She had her hair in long thick dreads, soft curly baby hairs, thick lips, and a cute plump body, her chest and ass too thick for anything she wore and her cute muffin top didnt help either. She was squishy and adorable and sexy and Erik loved every roll and dip of her honey covered body. She was feisty too, and when she wanted something she didn’t hesitate.

“It has some type of galaxy shit going on, idk. Purples and pinks and blacks with these little ass twinkly stars, looked like Uranus or Saturn in the background, had a quote at the bottom of it in cursive.” He put his bowl on her nightstand before lowering to the floor with her, laying on his side before grabbing the bowl again. He stuck his index finger in the bowl, dipping the Oreos further. She was busy making waist beads, one nestled around her curvy waist digging into her love handles.

“You should have picked it up you know I love anything with galaxy shit in it.” He kissed his teeth, eyes trying to focus on the classic movie she popped in her VCR, ���I cant believe you still have one of these bitches, it just got a little dust too, and it’s still functional.” His eyes lowered a fraction, sleep trying to creep up on him. That was his own fault too, staying up all hours of the night.

“It’s called taking care of shit of sentimental value instead of letting it waste away.” She spoke out, just finishing up her blue and purple one she was making for a friend her fingers were getting numb now deciding to finish later, and join Erik in watching the movie. She pushed everything to the side, crawling over to lay her head in his crotch area. Her cute chubby feet with toes painted a hot pink wiggled near his bowl. He scrunched his face, playfully swatting at her feet, “if you don’t get those fat ass feet away from me girl, looking like honey buns.” She swatted at his ass causing him to grip her wrist, “yo what I tell you about slapping my ass?”

She rolled her eyes, “and what I tell you about talking about my feet? Just for that you owe me a foot massage after work tomorrow.” Erik shook his head popping a moist Oreo in his mouth, “and what you giving me?” He tried to speak between chewing. She paused, mind in wonder, hands resting on her belly. Erik just eyed her fame, mouth watering from just the look of her thick short ass bunched up on him.

“I’ll think about it.” They both turned back to the TV, monsters ball playing and that one delicious scene almost approaching. She stole an Oreo from his bowl causing him to wine like a baby. “Ask first baby that’s all I ask okay? I spent money on these Oreos.” She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, “Erik bye.”

“I’m being forreal. Everything I have don’t belong to you, girl.”

“I have about five of your hoodies in my closet right now, E. I take what the fuck I want when I want.”

Erik did a double take, dropping his Oreo back in the bowl and causing milk to splash on her legs. Growling, Blessing wipes at her legs aggressively.

“Chill out! You getting milk on me!”

Erik playfully bites into her leg, “You got five of my hoodies? Where they at?” Erik gets up from the floor, walking over to her messy closet with jeans sling over the rail and shirts hanging off the hangers. Sliding through her clothes, Erik finds all five of his favorite hoodies freshly washed and wrinkle free.

“My all black exclusive lost tribe hoodie?! You serious? I thought I lost this shit and your chubby face ass had it the whole time?!”

“Shut the fuck up with your odd shaped head! You knew I had it don’t play dumb,” Bored, Blessing decides to continue making her waist beads.

“I should throw you over my fucking knee, babygirl. You agree with that?” As mad as Erik was he decided to leave the hoodies there because they were neat and unbothered.

“Stupid ass,” he teased.

“Shut up. You’re the stupid one.”

As soon as Erik made himself comfortable on the floor, Blessing started poking him in his dimpled cheek, twisting her finger. Erik swatted her hand away every single time, finally kissing his teeth and grabbing her finger with force.

“Stop it, girl.” He shoves her hand away, causing her to laugh. This only made Blessing want to continue. She takes her chubby feet and plants them on his shoulder, wiggling her toes obnoxiously in his face. His eyes focused forward but she could see the way his jaw looked like it was going to snap from how hard he clenched it.

“You get so mad for what? I can’t mess with you but you can mess with me?”

“It’s because I’m Daddy and you do what I say.” Grabbing her foot, Erik begins to tickle her feet, that annoying screech she always made loud. Blessing yanks her legs back so bad that she kicked Erik in the head, pausing with a shocked look and a hand over her mouth. Nothing was said but the anger on his face and the reddened spot on his cheek made her laugh so hard her lungs hurt. Even through her teary eyes she could see his rage.

“Nigga, you look like you about to burn my fucking room down!” She shook her head repeatedly, “I’m so fucking humored right now; tickled.”

“Hehehe hahaha shut the fuck up.” That was his come back and it clearly went on death ears because she kept on laughing and hollering.

“Big nigga why you always mad? Chill the fuck out,” Shaking her dreads, Blessing went back to doing her waist beads.

Erik got up from the floor, seating himself on her bed to feel more comfortable. She thought he was being a sour puss but he actually had another plan. Grabbing one of her plush throw pillows, Erik wracked her on the side of her face so hard her eyes closed and her face scrunched up in ugly surprise. His laugh was the golden one, clutching his stomach and stomping his leg.

“Bro you should have seen your face! Looking like,” Erik mimicked her look before bursting into laughter again, “you mad ugly.”

She could still feel the sting like carpet burn on her left cheek. Blowing out hot air through her chubby cheeks, Blessing turned completely away from him.

“You got my fucking eye burning and my face all hot! I kicked you by accident dummy.”

“You want me to kiss it big head?” Erik tossed the pillow back in place.

“I don’t want your stinky ass lips on me ugh,” Blessing shoves his face away.

“Wasn’t saying that shit earlier when I was kissing all on you in the car,” he grabbed her by her dreads, gaining power. She fought through enjoying the force he applied by keeping a straight unbothered face.

“Stop it, girl. Stop acting like you don’t want me yanking you up and shit,” Erik kisses her temple, soothing the burn from the pillow hit. He started swinging her from side to side, humming no guidance in her ear that made her wiggle. He couldn’t sing for shit but she loved it when he sung this new song to her.

🎶 I don’t wanna play no games, play no games, 🎶

“Don’t say that last part because you know it ain’t happening,” Blessing stopped him mid song with a bitchy tone, “You don’t plan on making me Blessing Stevens I’m still gonna be Blessing Jones.”

“Forreal, B? You know I plan on making you my number one forever. Remember that time at red lobster when I fake proposed to get free cake? I can do it again but with a big ass rock.”

She smiles despite her salty attitude, “keep talking, Zaddy.”

“Nah, don’t pull that shit now,” Erik let her go, “you fucked up Blessing.”

“How?!” She pouted, “You mad at me now?”

“Yup. Turn around.”

Blessing groaned, folding her arms, “fight me.”

“Which means come fuck me.” Erik corrected.

“Shut the FUCK up.” Blessing rolled her eyes.

“Which means come eat this pussy.” Erik bit his lip to fight a smile.

“You ain’t cute. Leave me alone.”

“So basically I’m fine as fuck and you want my attention?”

“Ugh!!!! I hate you!” Blessing turned to him, ready to hit Erik upside his head but he caught her hand just in time.

“I love you too, Baby girl,” Erik gripped her chin, “you know you a bomb ass girlfriend? All that crybaby shit and getting mad only makes me want you more.” Erik gripped her neck, pulling her in for a kiss.

“You can be mad at me all you want but your ass isn’t going anywhere. You’re mine.”

“Says who? I got options.” Blessing fucked up with saying that to him.

“The fuck?” Like flipping a light switch Erik’s aggressive nature surfaced again to make her weak. Taking his hand, he wrapped around her neck with one hand and his mouth dangerously close to her hear.

“The fuck You talking to?”

“Daddy, not you,” she rolled her eyes into her head to fake annoyance. Erik just stared at her with his hard ass eyes making her squirm.

“What you looking at?” Blessing asks with a slight roll of her neck. He just licked his lips, looking her up and down.

“What, I cant stare?” He just grabbed her up and said, “man, come here.” She followed him like she just wasn’t mad at him a few seconds ago.

“Tomorrow ima fuck the shit out of you cuz you been acting crazy lately.” Erik rested his head on the side of her face.

“Why not tonight?” Blessing was wet and horny now she needed some dick, some fucking love, her hard headed ass boyfriend.

“I’m tired, B.” His eyes did speak that into existence when she turned to look at him. She admired his handsome face even though his eyes were focused ahead and ready to close.

“...damn, yo ex dumb as fuck.” She stated, causing Erik to chuckle. Blessing turns back around, pushing her booty into Erik’s crotch. He gripped her hip to stop her but she just kept on going, rolling her hips like she spelling out coconut. Erik lets out a frustrated sigh at his dick disobeying him.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what? I’m just playing.”

“This is blasphemous,” Erik spoke in a fake surprising tone, “you’re molesting me with your phat ass.”

“Shut up you know you want me to sit this assssss on you,” Blessing spoke in a melodic tone.

“Blessing, don’t start this shit. I still got a fucking cramp in my neck from eating the pussy for an hour straight, my abs still burn from doing push ups in the pussy-“

“I don’t wanna hear that shit you got more stamina than a damn horse.”

“You don’t listen to shit!” Erik yelled in her ear, flipping her over on her back. He pinned her to the mattress, face all scrunched up.

“What, Erik? I told you i got options if you don’t give me what I want,” fighting a laugh at his frustration and anger, Blessing purposely moves her hips beneath him to force him into having wild sex.

“...Bruh im a fuck you up...you acting up...what’s your fucking problem? You need some dick? You need a hug? You need your pussy ate? You need kisses? Like tell me something.”

“You finish telling me to stop now?” She questioned while looking at him a hint in her eyes as to why she’s been acting up.

“You not getting no dick with that attitude then,” he lifted off of her, laying on the other side of the bed closest to the window.

“First of all, I’m sorry.” Her entire mood changed. She decided to act innocent even though she thought about riding the fuck out of him in that moment.

“Aight, So we good?” She chanced a look at him even though she knew that wouldn’t be successful. Erik just stared at her calmly, waiting for her response.

“Yes. We’re good. No more playing.” Blessing blinked up at Erik innocently.

“So that mean you ready to get your pussy ate again?” Erik sat up, taking his hands to pull down her bottoms. Laying flat on the bed, Blessing lifts her hips to help Erik out as he slid the right fabric from her round booty. Tossing it to the side, Erik went flat on his stomach, arms wrapped around her thighs to pull her close. Blessing shielded her face like always whenever Erik kisses her gently on her inner thighs. It was torture.

“Talking about YoU NEeD To Fix YOUrr AtiTude, first of all, nigga...eat it out of me.” Blessing couldn’t help herself. Erik slapped her inner thigh to calm her ass down but that also made her laugh. She was silly.

“Stop, B,” without a warning Erik started eating her pussy. Blessing locked up around him, doing that thing with her hands where she held him in place but at the same time pushed him off of her.

After Erik successfully shut her up and had her moaning, he laughs, looking up at her weak expression and says, “You good?”

Blessing couldn’t even respond to that smart ass remark because Erik’s mouth was back on her pussy like it never left.

“What happened to that attitude? All that make me shit? Like it ain’t shit. Like I won’t eat the fuck out your soul and fuck the attitude out your soul and never give that shit back?”

That’s all he had to say in that moment while she laid back and let his tongue crave her. Erik got her ass to stop now with his tongue flicking her clit. On the inside she battled to sass him but his tongue was hitting that spot so the shit didn’t matter anymore.