#this isn't just for marsh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloogers-boogers · 11 months

Text

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (Sp fic)

('What up with the fatass?')

/Let me slide into your DM's/ part 3

Stan's gang meet up in discussion of their future revelation.

"If we either become queermo pussies or boring ass side characters, your choice!"

Slight warning ⚠️ slurs, and well, it's a sp fic you could either expect both good or bad outcomes from it.

Btw important! It gonna get kinda gory and sensible topics are gonna be told in this chapter and the following others, so please if you're not comfortable with that type of stuff I don't recommend!

Author's note: I managed to link the chaps! So it'll be easier for u guys to switch between chapters ❤🙏🏼 again thx for the help u guys and also for the comments! I read each one of them! I'm very grateful for u guys, I'm glad u seem to enjoy my writing even if it can be a little off and confusing at points my vocabulary can be a little limited so I'm trying to expand it so it doesn't sound to iffy, ok time to read! 🤗

Second note: south park pov will be mostly Kyle's pov (technically just the gangs pov it'll be on Kyle's perpective) and north park would be Cartman's just wanted to make that clear! C:

~~~~~~

It's the day, the day that officially declares its been a month since Cartman moved, would this count as a 'Cartman anniversary'? Kyle really didn't want to know, he just wanted to do something.

Even if that meant having a fat bitch nagging, mocking, taunting him all the damn time. His life was starting to feel hallow, empty, numb, boring..

It felt meaningless? He's starting to feel what he assumed the adults of their town were going through; a internal crisis. Why did the fatass formed such a big part of what he's experiencing now?

How can someone so annoying make such a impact on him? On his brain and heart. Or was it that Cartman had already long gone manipulated into believing that he needed him to keep that flame in him.

Manipulated all of town, fuck, even the animals were looking bored as hell.

He layyed himself whole, flat stomach against the couch, bored looking face with his cheeks squishing against a cushion, it felt like he was going through some really bad break up, like the whole town was going through one. He grabbed the remote turning on the tv.

'Breaking news‼️: citizens across the country are now voting for the most lame uncharacteristic bland ass town of America! Polls are being equally divided between California's 'I eat fist' town, Texas 'sausage' town and ofcourse recently now unoriginal town in state of Colorado dropped by 68% to 1% in less than a month, 'South park', being one of the most demolished rates in history to beat a score of lameness about 59% in half a second! People claiming they barely even recognize the name, I barely remember the town itself if it weren't for this piece of paper that reminded of it! —'

He groaned loudly as he face slammed on to the cushions, letting out a heavy frustrating moan.

Now they were being ridiculed by their whole country for not being 'exciting' or 'interesting' enough.

He hated this feeling, he couldn't help but to pinned the blame on Cartman. He grunted reluctantly taking out his phone and opening his gallery, zoning out enough to block the new reporter's blabbering.

He scrolled to his countless pictures of family, friends, events, holidays, birthdays, trips and all that crap. He tapped on the first picture that just caught his attention; just fatass hogging his phone that day, making a collage of himself with vulgar gestures and weird looking faces.

'So original' he remembered remarking to Cartman, as the other just took out his tongue teasingly.

Scrolling once more, he halted in a picture were it was just Cartman making himself a mess with chocolate ice cream all splattered over his face; an annoyed look as his eyes darted at his hands by how ice creamy covered they were, cone half done being hold by his thumb pressed against his index.

He remembers taking a snap to make fun of Cartman later on because of how funny he thought it was, but he never actually used it and in reality he didn't find it as funny AFTER; once he second and third looked at it, more like, amusing. He found the picture amusing. Amusing enough to keep it saved in his gallery but also hogging it from others to see and share that se sentiment probably taking all the special to it.

After two more pictures, he clicked on a video, it was Cartman, once again, hogging his phone:

Rec🔴 0:06 - ⏮ ⏸ ⏭ -3:46

'Dammit, jew! Don't be so stingy!' There was a lot of movement making the camera shake viciously.

'Shut up, Cartman! Give me back my phone!'

'Worried I'll take all your cloud gigs too quickly?' Half Cartman's face seen, including that childish taunting pout of his.

'Ofcourse asshole! Do you know how much I have to pay for extra cloud storage!?'

'Stop being greedy and acting like your rich lawyer dad doesn't pay for your shit'

'My dad isn't rich'

'But he's a lawyer and a JEW'

'That makes zero sense'

'You know damn well what I mean'

Cartman than moved the camera angle in a wide frame showing both boys; one frowning angrily and the other smirking casually while he slightly waved at the camera before placing it steady and walking next to, well himself, Kyle.

Looking at his fat friend in a questioning look as he keep staring at the camera while standing next to him.

'What're you doing fat boy?' Before anything else he was gut punched in the gut.

'Ha! That's what you get for being greedy and letting your guard down, Kahal! Hahahaha!'

'That does it!' He screamed furiously standing up from his computer chair and chased Cartman around his room like two foolish kids messing around. Cartman smiling wide as he'd run from a fuming redhead.

3:46 - ⏮ ▶️ ⏭ -0:00 🔁

Kyle beamed by the memory, a nauseous revolving feeling surge in his stomach.

Moments like these is were he grasped hard into the somewhat relationship he had with Cartman, sometimes it was just hard to give up on him. Even if he's proven to be irredeemable, unforgiving, unfixable. Cartman could pathetically look at him with the most sad puppy eyes he's ever seen and couldn't bare himself but cease in and try to help once more. Which was stupid. But how can he just let him destroy himself further? That kid got issues, and as a friend, a group they had to stick up together right?

He felt more responsible over Cartman than anyone else from this whole fucking town, sometimes he even believed Cartman also shared that same mentality an unhealthy dependency on him for seeking help, get him out from trouble or just checking if he was being paranoid or hallucinating too much again, which he always did.

Kyle knew it was unhealthy what they had, but it was something strong they built. Or maybe it was just he who built it..? Cartman seemed to be doing well with out him..

Maybe he was the one being a little too attached? Which was ridiculous to believe, Cartman has always obsessed over him to point he even questioned if he was definitely a percentage away on being sent to a psycho ward.

Ofcourse that never happened, but he was damn nuts and had the ginger in his mind all 24/7, and he never denied being that way.

Shamelessly admitting he had broke into his room countless times, no boundaries were set between them, they even barge into the bathroom while they were using it. By that point nothing was 'too' embarrassing for them to encounter together. Those layers of privacy were non-existant between the two, for fuck sake he had put a finger up Cartman's ass once! What's more that could up that shit? By that point he could expect Cartman to steal a kiss from him for a scheme of his and he wouldn't bat an eye to it, probably punching him straight in the face for it; but still unbothered.

It's not like he hadn't taken up worse? He's eaten shit from a Japanese man's butthole, had swim and drink pee and was forcefully driven to smell Cartman's farts for the sake of the world. Friends with a literal talking shit, friends with a literal schizophrenic psychopath and having to endure aids for that same stupid bitch. Being turned down from the basketball league because he wasn't a tall black boy, having surgery and yet still had his knees explode mid game, traumatic. Hemorrhoids, a kidney failure, a manbear pig attack, a smug storm.. countless near death experiences.

Yeah, a kiss wouldn't be torturous. Cartman could kiss him, he should kiss him to prove his point.

Maybe he was the one to be mentally fucked up?

Nah, he's fine.

°°°°°

Kyle headed to the bus stop, spotting Stan eating some flaming chips, something odd he'd been noticing of his friend was his binge eating. Ever since Cartman left he had been hogging food everywhere they'd go; when they go play video games, he'd go to the kitchen and look through the fridge grabbing snacks and drinking high sugary beverages like mountain dew or smoothie mixed with coca, at the cafeteria he'd steal some of Butters fries or Kyle's half eaten burger, he even picked a fight with Craig for the last piece of chocolate cake they had there, even while they walked to someplace he'd always had a bar of chocolate in hand or a pack of sweets.

It was starting to be concerning but he hasn't pointed it out to Stan yet atleast until Wendy does, he knew Wendy was already planning on making an intervention for Stan soon, she's asked Kyle beforehand to keep track of what Stan's been eating to give her a list, which is why he notice right away of Stan's problem. Maybe it was a coincidence to link Cartman's absence to it, but who else had a binge eating problem that wasn't fatass?

"Morning dude," He greeted placing himself next to the now chubby kid.

Yes, Stan also have been gaining weight by the excessive food he's been eating. It was barely noticeable for the eye, but for people as close like Kyle, Wendy, Kenny and Butters, it was damn obvious.

"Mornin'," Stan mumbled out, unfazed while munching on some chips, his fingers were all greasy and hand cheeto dust all over.

"Did you see the news?," Kyle asked, looking at the road too uninterested with the small talk.

"You mean how they all we're calling south park a bunch of 'jackin' offing losers'?" He remarked the reporter's comment in exact detail.

Kyle nodded silently, they were really being pounded down to the ground with all the insults directed their way.

"Did you also hear about North Park?," his best friend added now sparking the redhead's attention.

"What is it?," he asked now intrigued.

"It's been up the ranking of wackiness and bizarre they were offered to make a show about it, can you believe it?" Stan commented incredulous.

Kyle was bewildered, no fucking way. Not even south park were offered that privilege while having fatass in town, now.. no, that's too much of a coincidence.

"It's fatass," he blurted out, making Stan look at him surprised.

He slammed the table with his right fist, now inside the meeting being formed that same night, their usual hide out; Cartman's basement, which Kenny helped barge in the locked house even if everything was empty and piled up with dust (with the exception of the table and white board they brought while entering). They were too stubborn to look for another place to meet up in so ofcourse the hide out wouldn't change until the house is actually sold.

He looked up at the group of kids there: Craig's gang, Stan's and ofcourse Wendy's.

"I think we all know why we're here."

Clyde looked concerned to his left, "because.. of the new mermaid movie..?" He winced out uncertain.

"No, fatass! We're not here for some dumb gay fish movie!," he shouted annoyed, huffing as he paced around the room in a typical Cartman manner.

"We're here to get Cartman back," Stan chimed in his seat, a bowl of chocolaty creamy strawberries in hand oblivious eating them while a concerned Wendy looked his way.

"Why?" Craig asked in his typical monotone voice.

"Because, we're nothing with out fatass," He finally blurted out, placing both his hands on the table looking at them directly.

"S-say that again?" Jimmy spoke up more confused than being sarcastic.

"Guys, ever since Cartman left everything has been dulled," He continued, now dragging the white board infront of them taking off the sheet that covered it; revealing their plan strategy, "south park has always had an untold curse to it, we all know about the anomaly and whack shit we've have to endure by living here"

"I always thought it was because of you four," Token commented unfazed.

"Point is," Kyle ignored, looking at the board, "not having Cartman around has abruptly lower our percentage to zero," He pointed with a marker a drawing of Cartman and a field around him signaling the 'curse'.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Annie pointed out.

"No, if we want to be seen as the pussy town of Colorado with no name," He snapped back bitter.

Luckily most of the kids there agreed with him, making him seem less crazy for wanting Cartman back.

"Kyle's right, ever since Eric moved away my parents now ground me because of boredom. They don't even care if I do good in school or not they just nag about moving away to some fart smelling city like New York to get some action again," Butters added grabbing a strawberry from Stan's bowl.

"My dad sent me to Denver the other day for a gallon of milk and asked me about the weather there," Tweek also added to the pile of complaints.

"My parents sold both my sister's bike and my coin collection away and replaced them with a pile of balloon clowns," Craig added now indulge in the subject.

"My parents bought a zoo and have been living inside the gorilla habitat for two weeks," Heidi added a little ashamed as she looked downwards, probably reluctantly admitting Cartman may need to come back to solve her issue.

"My mom has bought over 300 pair of shoes in a week were almost going broke," Nichole hesitantly added.

Wendy sighed as she intertwined her fingers defeated, "My dad has been going nonstop to strip clubs and my mom has been pimping out some male colleagues of hers," she admitted embarrassed, "it's clear south park is going into a crisis."

"And my dad has been up in sales for all the weed he's sold to south park residents," Stan complained chugging five strawberries in his mouth, annoyed, "ever-veryone's hig-gh as fuck like wi-with the tegrity b-burger sales," He mumbled out, slapping Kenny's hand away from his bowl as the blonde looked at him offended.

Butters snickering next to him as he had successfully stolen a strawberry from Stan previously.

"Cartman is like a endless void," Kyle added, now circulating the drawing of Cartman and drawing a pointer down, "with out it, there nothing that can suck all of our shit down," He wrote his points up then signaled a pile of adults destroying the town, "making everthing go into an endless loop of wanting a purpose and still not finding anything while destroying what we have left with ACTUAL consequences. A reset button up Cartman's ass to restart our day, to fix our shit. Pretty much with out it the damages we make today stays, while still being so uncharacteristically damaged were basically nothing.

For some reason Cartman is that damn reset button, he takes the curse with him it just makes sense why we still put up with his shit and he hasn't been sent to jail for all the atrocities he's done. He CAN'T leave south park, everything has to be put to an end with each day, everything has to be back to normal with each common episode. If there's a long continuity it's gonna feel dragged and force it'll become boring like the Mr Garrison election, tegrity farms and the pandemic special so the curse will start to self destruct itself until it ends it.

Technically, we're in a episode with continuity.

And we're dragging it too far, being matter of weeks or days before our town becomes nothing but a running old gag people give zero fucks about, targeting their attention to something new making Cartman's curse merge into the new hole it's in.

In this case; north park," He finished finally circulating a drawing of the town and a North park Cartman on the side.

Everyone kept silent as they were captivated by the long explanation.

"Damn, dude. Have you gotten any sleep?," Craig commented bewildered.

"Does this have something to do with aliens?" Clyde chimed in now freaked out, bitting his finger nails and looking frantically between Kyle and the group.

"That, I don't know," Kyle responded tirelessly, now sighing heavily. It's almost concluding another day with out Cartman, and if his theories are right, it could be dangerous, "we need to manage to go to North park and get Cartman."

"What if Eric doesn't want to get back?" Butters spoke up, now everyone looking at him attentively.

Right, out all of them there, Cartman updates Butters everything that's been going on around his new lifestyle.

"Do you know something Butters?," Kyle inquired skeptical with a glare.

"No.." He dismissively looked Kenny's way before looking at something else, "Eric's really liking North Park that's all," he admitted in almost a whisper, after brief seconds.

°°°°°°

Kyle walked back home with his hands shoved inside his pockets, glaring at the ground beneath him.

Cartman is liking North Park because of his curse not much because he's actually liking it, he tried reasoning with that. But it wasn't still reassuring.

He began slapping the side of his head trying to shoo away any thoughts of Cartman, but he just couldn't stop thinking about him.

'MeooOow' a distressed cat moaned, snapping him out of it; it came behind some bushes near the Steven's residence. He approached cautiously and found a old grey kitty that licked it's paw and hiss at him after noticing his presence.

"Mr kitty?" Kyle blurted out softly unfazed by the aggressive attitude, Cartman had left his cat?

He reached out for her, holding on to her tightly being scratched in the face in the process 'defensive instincts' he thought, wincing out by the stingy pain.

Okay, Cartman would never abandon Mr kitty like that. That's unlike him, if there's something he knew as a fact was that Cartman loved his cat even if he had a hard time admitting it, he'd always made sure his cat was home before midnight and would check if her food was place in her bowl.

Even though he'd angrily complained about the cat craving the food he'd have in hand instead of her cat food, Kyle has seen from time to time how Cartman would cease in the meowing giving food from his plate to Mr kitty. He thought it was disgusting seeing him eat from the same plate as the cat did but never bother commenting it, cause it was an adorable quality of his. Just like when he'd hand feed it letting the cat licked everything off his palm and then later off using that same hand to eat a pile of chicken nuggets with out washing his hands. It was gross for sure, but it was cute.

He winced by the thought of even considering Cartman remotely 'cute', he got home, still a rabid cat in hands. It's liked the cat hated him, but then again... it is Cartman's.

"Hold on there, mister," his mother stopped him before heading upstairs, "what is that?" She pointed at the hissing feline.

Kyle arched a brow, "it's a cat, don't worry I'm just keeping it for a while until a friend comes back from a trip." He explained, hoping that would be enough for his mom to let it go.

"Kyle, don't think I've forgotten about your chessing phase," she remarked, now hands placed on her hips, "is that it? Are you chessing?" She asked worrisome.

"No, ma. I'm serious, this is just my friend's cat," He rolled his eyes, still not believing his mother still thought he chessed once.

She arched a brow skeptical, reluctantly believing his words.

"Okay, bubbie.. but one showing symptom of it and that cat is out," she warned pointedly, as she walked back to the kitchen, "and keep that cat far from your father's office he wouldn't want to step on cat poop," she shouted after.

"Okay, ma," He responded back, running to his room as he shut the door letting the cat out of his arms, as he whined out from the stingy small war wounds (scratches) on his hands and arms somehow her nails got under his jacket sleeves.

Mr kitty hid under his bed as she couldn't escape from the window because it was closed.

He sighed as he approached his drawer and opened a cabinet, which he had a small aid kit. He took out some alcohol and began putting some on the scratches that actually had blood pouring out.

He glance to his side noticing Mr kitty peeking out from his bed but instantly glaring at him in a defensive stance as she growled.

Man, that cat really hated his ass.

Kyle couldn't help but wonder if Cartman could've trained her to hate him, but he then dismissed it as Cartman's wasn't the type to be too hyped on something that had no gained for him. He'll get easily bored by less than an hour, if plausible 20 minutes and 33 seconds to be exact.

He kneeled down and began mimicking Cartman's gay little song he'd use to lure his cat when she'd ran off from home. He had memorized it by the countless times he's heard him sing it out loud to the neighborhood with zero shame.

Singing has been such a Cartman's thing to do, he realized how both mother and son always had a thing to easily communicate by song and he wouldn't be surprised if that cat too was also taught to listen by musical notes.

One of Cartman's perks of singing endlessly since a toddler really brought fruit to his voice, so neighbors nearly complained when he'd sang out for his cat. His voice was marvelous, angelic, the type that'll lure you like a siren to a crew of sailors, a easy way to trick and manipulate people into listening to him or doing what he says. Something he definitely seen Cartman use for his advantage.

Even, as awful it is to admit, he's fallen for his curse various times himself. He'd be caught listening in his window as he'd watch from afar his arch-rival walking through the sidewalk singing to Mr kitty to come back and threatening her lastly to give her the garlic food instead of the tuna which most of the time worked, cause the cat would dash back to her owners arms after listening on not having tuna for dinner.

"Miaw miaw miaw come kitty, come Mr kitty kitty!" he awkwardly sing, as he watched the cat immediately tilted her head interested, "who's a good Mr kitty? Miaw kitty kitty miaw miaw.." he felt his voice cracked after a couple of 'miaws', he wasn't as in tune like Cartman was but he didn't think he was that bad either.

"Miaw miaw miaw miaw~

Kitty kitty kitty

Who's my Mr kitty? I love my kitty kitty~!" He never thought he'd be singing for a cat but there he was, now seeing the cat cautiously walked twoards him.

He carefully extended his hand in a welcoming gesture, expecting the cat to put her paw there but instead she smelled it before nuzzling against his hand with a purr.

Now that's awfully cute, he wasn't much of a cat person he preferred lizards or elephants, but he won't deny Cartman's cat was adorable.

He gently patted her head not knowing how cat owners tended to show their felines affection, he just knew by online critics that cats were evil cold living creatures and would prefer to not be disturb. The last time he's ever grabbed a cat was when he had to hide that damn cat Kenny would use for chessing, and he shoved it in his drawer not really caring much for it. He could've almost forgotten it if his mother didn't caught him with it.

But this one was Cartman's, she was special to him, so he had to make sure she'd be fine while fatass is away. Or Cartman could go all psycho on them if something were to happened to her once he's back.

And he had no plans on dealing with one of those episodes again.

He's learned from what happened to Scott, mitch Connor, 'cupid yee' or 'me' or whatever (he just remembers Stan commented about Cartman's little episode to him while explaining of how things lead the way it did), skank hunt (he wasn't sure to count that one, but Cartman wasn't the same at that time like if he were broken)or the 1% issue, that an emotional Cartman is a reckless 'not to be messed' one.

Cause you really don't know how'd he'd react and take it, which becomes a nerve wrecking roulette. Cartman had limits where once you pass the highest grounds, you're over. You either die, emotionally traumatized/ wound for life or spared (which is unlikely).

He remembered a kid calling him tubby it wasn't a big deal until he took it too far and 'humiliated' Cartman in the assembly. Cartman took it as if the boy was out to get him, which he technically was but his fate was counted.

Both Stan and himself knew he wasn't gonna make it to middle-school.

Surprisingly the boy was given a 'light' punishment being sent to a juvenile prison by a crime he clearly didn't commit but was then executed after three weeks cause a few inmates accused him for slaughtering another in the bathrooms.

Supposedly the aftermath had nothing to do with Cartman but both he and Stan were skeptical about it.

Then there was this other boy that had the balls to smack Cartman's ass in a football game. Yeah, let's say that one didn't last a week after the incident. For what he heard, that boy was given to pigs dismembered in bits and a bullet wound in his head. He remembered how fucked up it was for Cartman to show up to the boy's grieving parents home and gave them his condolences. It's like he gets even more gruesome with his vengeful antics each time he'd snap.

This could count as a 'group' thing but it was mostly Cartman influenced, cause it really messed them up for a period.

A fat old grumpy man almost raped him in a parking lot, it was their darkest secret yet as a group, as a whole.

He remembered that night vividly, they were at a club Butters snuck them in while he worked there, and as they were all vibing and looking at all the hot chicks there Kenny had asked if anyone had a lighter on them Cartman said he had one in his bicycle pouch, so he went out to fetched it, seemed it was more of an excuse to leave as he did notice Cartman seemed uncomfortable being at that place, and second he wouldn't offer to get it for Kenny he would straight up just tell him to go get it himself.

It took a couple of minutes and he recalls how they all started wondering if Cartman had actually ditched them, so they all went looking for him outside.

And for their horror saw Cartman sobbing uncontrollably as some man had him pinned against the hood of a blue Honda, trying to unbottoned his pants as he rubbed his crotch against his. This wasn't as with snooki, it was far worse cause he noticed bruises forming up his throat and face; weakening Cartman before the actual action.

'Holy shit' was the only thing he heard Stan blurt out in shock.

That was the night something in him snapped, and intentionally murder a man.

He remembered how everything became so blurry and slow as Stan anxiously yanked him away from the bloody body while being covered in blood from head to toes, as Kenny yelled saying he'll tell Butters to cover them up with the security footage, while Cartman whimpered and sobbed still panting frantically in the hood.

It was the most saddest shit he's ever seen Cartman been.

They dragged the body to starks pound.

Cartman was a mess, but fuck, he didn't want to ever see a friend be in a situation like that ever again.

They hid behind some cars as a police officer passed by, dragging the body with difficulty even being four boys. The man weighted over 300 pounds and with the added 'dead' weight it worsen it.

Everything seemed so surreal.

Cartman finally spoke after being so zoned out by the whole thing, they tossed the body inside a wooden boat. Took a lighter out from his pocket, the same lighter that was the whole reason they were all there to begin with.

Kenny poured gasoline all over it while puffing his last cigarette, and Cartman lit it up pushing the boat away from the edge with a small kick.

"This will be in grave a secret until we die"

That was Cartman's way of telling him 'thanks' even if it was the most devastating coldly thing he's ever done, Cartman could've use that to blackmail him or even get rid of him for good. But he never told a soul once it was all over, acting like it never happened.

He remembered he had to strip naked to get rid of his clothes and tossed it in the flaming boat, how'd he had to use some clothes from Walmart Stan had went to purchase them while he shaked tremendously by the intensity of the whole thing.

After that, they never spoked of it again and Kenny quit smoking.

°°°°

He hold Mr kitty in his arms, the cat warmed up to him very quickly than he had expected her to be.

She nuzzle with a purr against his chest, he couldn't help but visualize Cartman doing it instead.

His eyes widen, he was going crazy. That's the only explanation he could give to himself with how he was acting.

Yeah, this was bad, they had to get Cartman back for everything to go back to normal again.

He recalls of the agreement of their meeting, how Bebe asked how'd they'd be able to go to north park with out their parents knowing.

They all agreed on leaving that to Stan's gang to get fatass as they were Cartman's friends but Wendy and Craig's gang will handle the shit over in south park tricking their parents into believing Stan's gang went to some force week field trip.

It's not like their parents weren't stupid enough to believe that crap but they needed to ask for permission.

It's not like Kyle hasn't disobeyed any of his parents order anyways, no matter what answer it was, he was still going to north park.

And it's definitely not their first time ever leaving South park for longer than three days.

It was morning and he woke up with an awful smell, Mr kitty pissed all over his bed, fucking gross. He's never seen that cat ever pee in Cartman's home, it'll always meow at the door for Cartman to let her out and do what she has to do or just go to her litter box, that cat did it on purpose! Or maybe he should've just put some newspaper or a box, fucking crap.

He ran to the bathroom, took a shower and put some clothes on.

Taking his pj's and bed sheets to the washing machine, what a nice start to his morning, he thought bitterly.

Once settling his clothes in the washer he went up stairs and grab Mr kitty, and then rushed straight to the kitchen fridge and grab a can of sardines.

He sat in the table and place the tuna as he rested the cat in his lap letting her just reach out for the food herself, not thinking much of how bad it was seen as 'table manners', he felt his mother scowled him from the stove but said nothing, he didn't mind by that point he was already too numb by his mother's scolding he wasn't afraid for another.

Even though, once he started middle-school his mother mellowed down some more; saying kids their age needed space and shit like that. So she began stricter with Ike the youngest and being more free caring from Kyle her eldest son.

Which he was very grateful of to an extent.

All his family were already sitting in the table and eating breakfast, his dad didn't seem to questioned the cat and his brother just arched a brow.

"Is that Eric Cartman's cat?" He asked.

Kyle munched slowly his food as he watched him blankly, "no."

"Oh Ike, don't be silly, Eric Cartman moved a month ago I'm pretty sure they took their cat," His mother spoke reassuring, "stop bothering your brother with too many questions," she warned in a more passive aggressive tone.

Again, he didn't understand his parents, or any of the other adults. Apparently he wasn't the only one of the four that their parents mellowed down with, his friends also commented that once they began middle-school their parents seemed a little loosen around the edge when it came to them.

As if they really didn't want to deal with them.

Kyle gently caressed the cat's furry head 'don't worry Mr kitty will get Cartman back' he thought reassuring while smiling softly.

"So.. mom, dad. There gonna be this trip in like two days and-" he began his rehearsed speech of why he should be let go and how'd it'll be an improvement for his still developing mind.

"It's okay, Kyle. You can go," his father interrupted eager, somewhat anxious.

"But-"

"Really, it's alright buddy, do whatever you want," he reassured not even bothering to ask 'what' or 'when' 'who' and 'why', giving him a awkward thumbs up, his mother nodded agreeing sharing that same enthusiasm.

"Dammit, I wish I were in middle-school," he heard Ike cussed out in a whisper.

He definitely wouldn't, he would contradicted it if he actually wasn't in a rush to go talk to his friends and see how'd it went with them.

"Okay, cool—," he said uncertain, dragging the 'O', now placing the cat in the floor as he picked up his place, "I need someone to take care of mr-" he cut off, as he was about to blurt out the cat's actual name, "Mr poopkins while I'm gone," he finished awkwardly.

His family went silent and both his parents shared a look then looked at Ike.

"Well good thing your brother offered himself to take care of it, right Ike?" His dad then added, forcing a smile.

"Me!?" Ike asked incredulous, looking offended, "I don't want to-" his mother clasped her hand on his mouth preventing him to finish his sentence.

"Don't worry, bubbie, it's alright. Ike would happily take care of Mr poopkins for you," she beamed as Ike frowned by that.

"Cool," Kyle said grinning, ignoring the obvious glaring from his younger brother before heading to get his backpack and head out.

It was convenient for sure but it really made him feel like his parents no longer cared for him.

He shrugged those thoughts away as he went to the bus stop.

"So how'd it go?," He asked immediately once approaching Stan.

"My dad flinched cowardly as if I were about to murder him, dude. And I dunno whats their deal but yeah, they let me go," he shrugged, now chugging a bunch of chips, "can you believe Wendy last night told me I had a binge eating problem?" He continued, now crunching the bag in his hands before tossing it to the ground annoyed, "like, there's always something that bothers her, like 'Dude, chill the fuck out I can't eat some chips because NOW I have a issue?' "

Kyle scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "Well.. you do kinda have a problem Stan," he reluctantly admitted.

Making Stan looked at him baffled, "I do not!," he then looked at the ground as his gestures soften, "do I...?" He asked defeated, more to himself than to his friend.

"Hey dudes," Kenny greeted as he approached them.

"Sup, Ken. How it'd go?" Stan asked now recovering from his emotional internal questioning.

"What you mean?"

"Did you asked your parent about the 'field trip'?" Kyle gripped his backpack now remembering how fatass would just barge in and say his latest stupid fact learned from the internet or some magazine he read.

He's not missing Eric Cartman, okay? He's just missing the familiarity and the casualty of it all.

"As if I needed to ask, my parents don't give a crap. I just left them a couple of joints and three packs of beer that'll keep them out for an entire week," he said disinterested as he took out his phone that was buzzing, "fuck, it's Eric."

Kyle eyes widen as he had predicted the obvious, he gripped harder on his backpack expectantly, maybe even hopeful he could hear his voice?

"Cartman calls you?" He heard Stan ask, but he was so damn far lost in his mind he zoned out a bit.

"His calls are random sometimes, I gotta pick this up man," Kenny answered, putting some earphones on, now walking away a couple of feets apart from them unintentionally making Kyle's heart shrunk and his stomach twist.

Kyle questioned himself why he felt disappointed by that, but he shrugged it off like usual, looking at the blonde who chatted animosity as he walked in circles.

Cartman hasn't called both he and Stan not even once since his move, he couldn't be angry at them for the party right? Or were they just nothing to him?

Fuck, even Butters gets to talk to him more than either of them.

That's a douche move even coming from Cartman.

Kenny walked back to his place now phone back in his pocket.

"So what did he say?" Stan asked.

"He was telling me that he had to go to the doctor yesterday and was told he was developing 'pussy-itis' "

"What's that?" Stan asked genuinely confused.

Kyle rolled his eyes, 'my god that was a Cartman thing to say.'

"He said that it's a disease that spreads to new comers when being exposed for too long, he has like vaginas growing inside his ass and the doctor warned him that he could turn into a giant pussy if he keeps it up," Kenny shrugged, now looking at the road.

That condition actually reminded him of the time Stan got growing vaginas in his face and skin because he had stopped eating meat when they were protesting for the calves safety. It was similar as the time Butters accidentally blurted out that Cartman had sparkly cleaned vaginas in his stomach because of the huge amount of vasagsil he ingested as a kid.

And as much as he hated how fucking bizarre and impossible it is for that to happen, he couldn't deny actually witnessing and be proven wrong countless times that it WAS possible. So it wasn't unbelievable to believe Cartman got diagnosed with yet another odd condition.

"Okay, so technically Cartman wants to come back now, right?" Kyle inquired, subtly leaning forward.

"No, he was given medication so he's now 'skwel'," he made a similar impression of Cartman, "he also said to tell Stan about the uh.. something about a— gnome in the cooler or some shit like that? I didn't understand well cause he cut off immediately after that," Kenny shaked his head in disapproval.

Stan flinched, eyes wide and a blank expression adorned his face immediately knowing what Cartman meant, "HOLY SHIT," he exclaimed bewildered before running off without further explanation, leaving both friends confused ass hell.

Kyle looked at Kenny expecting more from that call, but he didn't add anything else. He frowned looking at the ground still gripping his backpack while bitting his lip.

Kenny gasped as he had forgotten something making Kyle flinched in surprise.

"Cartman said 'up your ass, jew' when I told him you called him a pretentious north park bitch," he remarked casually before looking at the school bus stopping infront of them.

Oblivious of a now beaming Kyle, both entering the bus picking a seat behind Butters.

Kyle didn't know why, but he jolted excited stomach feeling all twisted and his heart pounded loudly he could hear it inside his ears.

°°°°

"I haven't told them yet," Butters said as he rubbed his knuckles, heading to class.

"Dude, why not? We're leaving in two days, man," Kenny spoke while holding on to a notebook.

"They're not gonna let me go you guys," He admitted unfazed.

"Okay, so you're planning on sneaking out," Kyle added.

"I'm not sure.." the boy hesitated saying, looking at some flyer.

"You're Eric's best friend and your telling me you're NOT going to go get him?" Kenny inquired, kinda spiteful, "it's not like you haven't sneak out before and for Eric of all people too!

Like, your stupid schemes required a little disobedience from your part to handle all the shit Cartman gives you.

You're Eric fucking Cartman's best friend! It's pretty much not even a choice to not be a little shit head, stop being such a pussy," he blurted out, extending his arms up in the air for emphasis.

"NO, Kenny. I'm NOT Eric's best friend-" he pointed accusatory at the blondes chest, poking it hard, "YOU ARE, so quit your yapping!," he shouted annoyed, causing Kenny to frowned from the tone use.

God, those two have been up their necks since Cartman left, and Kyle couldn't point out why.

Kyle stood there awkwardly as he watch the two bark back at each other like two hounds with no leash, spitting venom and acidic slurs at each other.

'They should shut up already and go make out somewhere else, fuck' he thought annoyingly tired by the dragged banter.

Oblivious of the irony of his own thoughts.

Not wanting for them to escalate any further he stood between them, like a peacemaker.

"If we either become queermo pussies or boring ass side characters, your choice!" he threatened, pointing at the pissed off blonde.

Butters sighed contemplating it, grumbled a 'why should I choose?' As he kicked lightly the ground.

"Or do you have something you're hiding from us, Butters?" Kenny inquired suspiciously, tilting his head.

Butters clenched his fist, fuming, "fuck you!" He screamed out, pushing Kyle to the side before lounging at Kenny starting a fist fight in the hall, now everyone gathering up around them.

Kenny slammed his notebook hard against Butters face while Butters pushed Kenny against the lockers.

'This was some serious shit,' Kyle thought before taking out his phone and recording the fight for later on send it to Stan.

Prev — Next

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #kyman #sp kyman #'what's up with the fatass?' fic #i feel like not many acknowledge kyle's little psycho side #i think he'd snap if something were to happen to his friends infront of him #he was willing to go kill Butters to not get grounded and kill who ever was in charge of the meterosexual trend burn down the school #kenny too y'all can't tell me he wouldn't do something if he ever sees something bad happening to the people he loves #i see kenny and kyle being the protective ones of their group that'll go to high extents just to keep their people safe #ken would go all rabid while kyle would just go full maniac #difference between cartman and kyle?#kyle is emotionally impulsive #cartman's calm and calculated with all the intention to do it #kenny's impulsive too and stan is more emotionally driven #technically what im saying that it's intentional to view Kyle as a little psycho in this fic #friendly reminder this fic isn't to be taken seriously!:D

39 notes · View notes

bloogers-boogers · 1 year

Text

Kyle Brofloski/Eric Cartman (SP FIC) part 1

/Forced love/

Cartman finds himself traumatized by a peculiar sort of event,Kyle obviously gets involved somehow.

This takes place in middle school.

Slight warning ⚠️ u guys know what're you getting into by reading the names of who the characters are, so yeah. That's it.

~~~~

Everything seemed to be going it's natural pace in South park, the day was a sunny day, flowers bloomed here and there, cheerful smiles could be seen by the civilians who walked by and as a day goes well for the mountain town for a red headed boy it went downtown.

He stormed grumpy and annoyed, as he walked towards the school's bathroom. He was kicked out from class, as Garrison got pissy over him not paying attention of his 'upcoming wedding concerns', the redhead sighed defeated as he rolled his eyes, now entering the bathroom.

He halted as he recognized a familiar annoying high pitch voice, he backtrack slowly and quietly as he wanted to prevent being seen by the other before him trying to trap him in one of his stupid schemes or whatever shit his planning, but stopped in place after he heard vomiting from the other.

"Oh God!," he whined out, as another batch of vomit came out from his mouth.

Kyle frowned, now concerned, as he approached cautiously to the cubicle his arch rival was. The fatass was kneeled down the floor as he gripped on to the toilet seat, dangerously vomiting breakfast, lunch, in between classes, and 'casual snacking' out from his stomach.

"Cartman..?," he finally spoke, from behind peeking just enough to see the other continuously leaning his head up the toilet, not bothering to look his way.

And there goes another batch of vomit.

"You okay there..?," he kept persisting, as concerned kept creeping inside his body.

"Why do you care?," Cartman forced out, trying to wipe the leftover vomited that spread across his mouth, before he hunched back down holding on to his stomach in pain, once again, vomiting.

Kyle winced as he heard the boy kept vomiting his meals, now whining in pain.

"C'mon fatass, by this point we should consider ourselves sorta.. frie..nd-ish.... ?," he winced again, tilting his head with each word as he tried keeping his cool.

He grinned mimicking the same awkward smile his father will do when he was put in some awkwardly weird scenery. It's not like Cartman would see him, as he was face away looking at the toilet seat as he panted from pain.

"You can't even say we're friends, cause that's bullshit," he groaned annoyed, still gripping his hands on to the toilet.

Here goes another.

Kyle's winced again, now disgusted cause the smell was beginning to spread out from the cubicle to the whole bathroom.

"I.. think I ate something that didn't go well with my stomach," he then spat out, tirelessly from all the excess barf he had to let out, his sweaty hands slipped to the floor as he tried to regulate his breathing.

"You eat the entire school menu, fatass, what could possibly make you feel sick," Kyle half sarcastically stated, as that still didn't make sense, Cartman could possibly eat anything by this point and still not complain this much.

He crossed his arms now leaning against the cubicle as he waited for the other to respond.

Cartman frowned, annoyed, before barfing again, " 'haha' real funny, now leave me alone Kahal!," he grunted out, as he felt his body tremble a bit.

"Who twisted your panties this much?," Kyle mimic Cartman's usual speaking banter, trying to peace things out.

Cartman chuckled lightly, holding on to his stomach as he felt a nauseating feeling resurfacing again.

Kyle half smiled, as hearing Cartman laugh meant he was now feeling a little bit more better.

Cartman stood up, still holding on to his stomach as he sighed. Now turning to look at Kyle.

His eyes were red and puffed up as he had sob before Kyle got there, his cheeks with now stain tears, and some dry up barf was around his mouth.

Kyle felt his stomach knot, as he couldn't grasp that image from Cartman and probably won't be able to take it out from his head if he didn't tell him right now why he was acting and looking that way.

"Do you know Douglas?," he then spoke.

Kyle was taken off guard a bit, as he didn't know what that dude had something to do with all this, "the guy that came out two years ago about being weirdly obsessed with you and your dumb shit? Yeah, why?," he asked confused.

"He likes me, kahal," he blurted out, with a nonchalant tone, as he still couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, we kinda all know that, I mean who gets him? Why would someone cheer you on for the shit you do," he began, oblivious of what he truly meant.

Cartman gripped his shoulders, now startling him as he shoved him against the wall.

"No, Kahal! He LIKES me, like in the homo way Kahaaal!," he shouted, as his eyes spread terror.

Kyle gulped, as he stood there frozen, "Oh," he looked down, as he processed what he was told.

"Maybe, you're just seeing shit, it's not a big deal, just ignore it. He probably doesn't even like you," he tried reassuring, as Cartman began fanatically shaking him.

"You don't get it, Kyleee! He- he..," Cartman let go, gripping his hair, as he squinted his eyes shut as he recalled internally the previous events, "he kissed me, Kyle!," he blurted out, now looking devastated, as he broke in ugly sobs.

"He kissed me! He humiliated me, Kyle! I've never felt this humiliated, violated, it was horrible! I can't fucking believe that happened!," he kept on going, as Kyle looked at him speechless, "I was just minding my own damn business as he approached me and stole a kiss from my mouth! I couldn't fucking believe it!! What if he does it again, what if- fuck! Fuck!," he cried out, as he heavily panted.

Kyle hold out his hands in surrender, as he tried to calm Cartman down, "Dude, chill the fuck out," Cartman grasped on him again, holding him tight, sobbing loudly, "look, I'll talk to him alright?," he reluctantly said, kinda freaked out by the whole thing as he tried to calm his bastard friend.

"Really?," Cartman whispered out, hopeful, his uncontrollable panting began the slower, as he felt Cartman relax against his body.

"Yeah, dude, just chill out."

He couldn't grasp the idea of someone actually wanting to kiss Cartman noneless just boldly stealing one from him, he secretly hoped this was just some stupid lie his fat friend decided to pull on him, but something inside him told him otherwise; that this was in fact real and that this won't be the end of it either if he didn't get into the bottom of this beforehand.

He sighed, as he awkwardly patted his arch rival's back, as he was still sniffling and trembling under his arms.

°°°°

Kyle walked towards the playground, trying to spot the blonde boy, spotting him sitting in the merry-go-round as he was looking at his phone. He approached the boy with his hand insides his pockets, thinking what he'll say to scare the little bitch away from Cartman.

"Hey," he said nonchalant.

Douglas look up from his phone, now looking at him, as he arched a brow, "Aren't you one of Eric friends?," he asked.

"Yeah..," he trailed off, looking at the ground before laying his eyes on his, "look, dude, Cartman told me what happened."

Douglas eyes widen in excitement, "Oh shit, really?," he stood up as he place his phone inside his pocket, now grinning widely.

"He didn't like it, so I'm here to ask you to not do it again," he said, feeling slightly annoyed by his cheerful reaction.

Douglas knitted his brows, as he contemplated it for a bit before he shrugged it off, "eh, he'll get over it, once he gets use to it he'll began to enjoy it, probably even ask for more."

Kyle frowned, "Dude, you traumatized him, he was curled up in the bathroom scared as hell," he spat out, as he lifted his arms up in the air in exclamation, "you can't force people in to doing something they don't want to do, and you shouldn't be kissing people just cause you feel like it, it's not cool, so drop it already."

Douglas now, frowned annoyed by Kyle's persistence, "why do you care? For what I recall you two don't get along!," he raised his voice, now making Kyle angry by his stubbornness.

And because he doesn't know shit about his relationship with Cartman, so who is he to say if they got along or not?

"Because you're acting like a complete asshole by trying to force kiss Cartman, and I have to deal with his fucking shit because you can't leave him alone!," he glared, as he approached him closer in a threatening manner, pointing his finger accusatory.

Douglas pushed him away daring, making the redhead grunt and he lunged on to him, now patience long gone; punching his face, as Douglas fought back, punching him in the jaw and eye.

They kept fighting, the weight of their punches and kicks equally balanced, Kyle tackled him down as the other tried wiggling off his furious grip.

Kyle heard a 'Holy shit! Fight in the playground! I repeat fight in the playground!' But he didn't care, as rage boiled in his insides punching the boy furiously as the other didn't give up!

He was taken off guard as Douglas pinned him down, switching places in the ground, Kyle tried grasping on to the ground trying to get up but was immediately met with a fist against his skull, punch after punch he felt his vision fogged. Kids forming into a circle around them as they cheered on for a winner oblivious of the matter of whatever hell they were fighting to begin with.

Kyle kicked him off, making the boy fly off him hitting against some kids before falling into the dirty ground, Douglas whimpered in pain as he tried getting back in his feet, but hell no was Kyle gonna let him do so. He got up quickly kicking him three times in the stomach while panting heavily before the other fell to the ground with a 'hmph!', no one has ever beat Kyle Brofloski in a fight, and this won't be any different.

He sat on top of him punching him in the face punch after punch, grabbing on to his collar, whispering coldly, loud enough for he to hear only, as the others chanted loudly oblivious of the words being exchanged, "this is my last fucking warning, get near Cartman and I'll fucking knock your brains out."

Douglas didn't even flinched, as he kept glaring at the red head, "f-fuck you," he blurted out, spitting him, making Kyle send dagger at him; about to knock him out good, "you know what? I think I know why you're doing this," he forced out, panting, smirking slyly as he continued, "you're jealous, you're acting like you give a shit but in reality, you just want Cartman all for yourself, acting out like the possessive bitch you are."

Kyle gritted his teeth before knocking the boy out cold, he stood up eyeing the other students who began to drift away as they saw the fight had ended. Now spotting Stan, Kenny and Butters who stood there watching him; who had watched the fight baffled by what happened, except for Butters who cheered his way.

"Kyle, what happened?," Stan asked concerned as he approached him.

Kyle brushed off the dirt on his pants before glancing at Douglas, while Butters and Kenny eyed the unconscious boy down, "nothing," internally hoping to have give his point down to Douglas.

He glared once more, wiping off the stain of blood that slid down his nose, before walking off.

°°°°

Cartman hummed, slightly relieved now having heard the kids from his school talking about the fight that happened outside, unintentionally giving him the confirmation that Kyle indeed kept his word. But it also meant Douglas had wasted his patience, making him beat the shit out of him.

He bit his nails as he contemplated the situation, slightly nervous, as he feared that Douglas was stubborn enough to the point he'd be willing to fight Kyle to keep his ground. But from what he heard, Kyle won, which was to be expected; Kyle was a ginger jew who was a rabid motherfucker when being provoked. But he just couldn't pinned down the uneasy feeling from his stomach, Kyle won, so why is he still nervous?

He squinted his eyes shut, deeply in thought as he began to worried.

"Hey Cartman."

Eyes widen opened in terror, as he looked at the direction being called from. Douglas limped his way, with bloody wounds on his face, two black eyes, some bruises up his neck and near his mouth, as he gripped on to his right arm.

He gulped, as he felt a bad vibe coming off from the blonde, who chuckled lightly.

"You really think you're slick by telling your friend on me?," he smirked, as Cartman cowered against the locker, backing away from him as he got closer, "what? You thought that if you asked your friend to come 'speak' with me, he'll scare me off. Cause he's from Jersey? Well guess what," he spat, as he eyed him down, looking at him daring, "I'm from Jersey."

Cartman was left mouth opened, as he watched in horror, "w-what..?," he murmured in disbelief, trembling lightly.

"I'm. From. Jersey," he spat bitterly, before smirking again as his nose brushed against Cartman's.

The boy backed away, as he waved him off before leaving, "Bye, Eric, see ya later!," he beamed warming, immediately changing his tone as he left.

Cartman layyed against the lockers in defeat, as he squirmed in desperately stressed, feeling his hands and face sweat.

"Hey, Cartman," Stan spoke up, as he and the boys approached him.

"¡AAHHHHHH!," He screamed in horror as he ran off.

Leaving the four boys confused, except for the redhead who just watched knowingly.

"Dude, what's gotten in to him?," Stan asked as he saw their fat friend run outta sight.

Kyle clenched his fists, not saying a word.

Later that day Kyle and Douglas were called to the principal's office as the incident was spread to ear and ear getting to PC principal's attention. They were forced to apologize, but cussing each other out under their breath as they did not mean it. After being scold and given two weeks of detention they head off diffrent ways not after glaring each other down before leaving turning a different way.

Kyle huffed annoyed as he knew getting back home he'll be scold by his mother, but he was mostly annoyed that Cartman still seemingly looked scared.

He walked outta school not wanting to go on the bus neither did he wait for his friends. He felt like his efforts weren't enough cherished, almost incompetence. As Cartman had dodge last period pretty much unintentionally telling him that his fight was 'meaningless' and did nothing to solve his worries.

Douglas didn't seemed too faze either, as he sat in the office confident not showing any slight of fear or being threatened by what happened earlier.

He grunted furious, as he gripped tight on his backpack before entering home.

He felt embarrassed, even humiliated even if he had won the fight, people cheered him on even congratulated him unknowingly about the reason the fight started. But it meant shit to him if the person he had did it for gave no shit about it.

He stood in the leaving room, angrily, as his mother scold him off; zoning out as he didn't listen to her words, focusing on what his gonna do next.

°°°°

"Dude, what's been up with Cartman?," Stan asked.

It was the next day, they were now in the cafeteria. All day Cartman has been invasive from them, looking bummed and upset as he walked the halls and sat in the classroom. There was no teasing or taunting, and a silent Cartman is a concerning one.

Though, the boy sat with Butters, it seem he found comfort around him as the blonde looked like he was trying to cheer him up. They were seating at a whole different table from them, clearly avoiding the three.

Kyle frowned as he watched the two boys from a far, listening to his friends making up theories of why their fat friend was avoiding them.

"You think his scheming something?," Tolkien suggested.

Kenny immediately denied with his head, "Cartman can't keep a secret more than an hour, and this been happening since yesterday."

"Do you know anything Ky-"

He heard his best friend speak up, but had already picked up his tray and left, as he saw Butters leave the cafeteria. He ran through the hallway trying to reach out Butters.

"Hey, Butters, wait up," he slowed down his pace, as he jogged towards him.

"Hey, Kyle," he greeted with a small smile, as he opened his locker getting out some books, then closing it again, "what up?."

"Did Cartman tell you about what happened?"

"You mean about..,"he looked around, making sure there was no else listening, "ofcourse he did, Eric tells me everything," He admitted, guessing Kyle probably already knew what happened because of the fight.

"Did he tell you anything else?," he questioned.

"He said Douglas didn't care you beat him up Kyle, he's from Jersey," Butters admitted, as he gripped his book, pitying Cartman.

Kyle couldn't help but look concerned 'he's also from Jersey?' He thought, as he placed his hand in his pockets, seemingly in thought watching Butters walk away. Probably just heading to class before the bell rang.

It now made sense why he took his punches like some natural boxer, he breathe heavily, as he felt himself pout.

Cartman had missed school the other day, same with the third, that's were it drew the line for the group of friends. They had decided to barge in Cartman's room, as they wanted to know what's been up with him, Kyle was absent as he had told them he had other more important things to do.

Stan was the fist to speak up, as he saw Cartman curled up in his blanket facing the other way; a tissue in hand, half lidded eyes and pretty much with no ounce of energy in his body.

"Dude, you've been missing school, and you haven't been online, that's not like you. What's wrong?."

There was no answer, as both boys looked in concerned.

"C'mon man, if you don't tell us, how are we supposed to help you?," Kenny chimed in, but his words were just left in the air.

They stood there in silence, as they stared awkwardly.

"Look, we're gonna find a way to make you feel better, just you wait," Stan promised, as he set outside Cartman's room, Kenny following behind, "the fuck are we gonna do?," he asked his blonde friend.

Who shrugged looking at the floor, trying to think of a solution.

On the other side, Kyle was sitting in his bed, chin rested in his hands. He felt challenged, as he was being somehow taunted by Douglas.

Cartman missing school was like bricks hitting his side, reminding him how much he had failed on him.

He frowned as he looked at a pair of socks in the floor.

'Knock knock' he looked up, as his mother stood in the doorframe.

"Yeah, mom?," he asked.

She sat next to him, "what's wrong, bubbie?," she asked softly, "you seemed stressed, and you've been avoiding eating dinner, besides the fight from the other day."

He sighed defeated, "ma, what do you do if someone from Jersey challenged you?," he asked still looking at the ground.

His mother tilted her head, "someone from Jersey?," she said worrisome, "did someone from Jersey challenge you, Kyle?," she asked more firmly.

"The boy I fought, he's from Jersey," he admitted.

She stood up immediately, causing Kyle to flinch by the sudden action.

"You should've said that from the start, Kyle," she admitted, now looking at him, hands on her hips "if someone from Jersey is challenging you, you better stand your ground young man!."

Kyle frowned sadly, "I tried! But it didn't seemed like it matter, I- I was trying to defend a friend.. but I feel like.. I disappointed him," he looked at his hands upset, sparing the details of the boy actually crushing on cartman not 'bullying' him as his mother had thought.

"Well, Kyle, ofcourse he isn't gonna show he cared. People from Jersey have a big need to protect their image, their pride," she explained, as she cupped his cheeks, "but he isn't gonna stop into you really mark your territory. By backing away, Kyle, you're telling him he won and that he can step on you whenever he wants to. And my boy is no doormat loser!," she stated more firmly.

She gripped his hand and dragged him out.

"Where are we going?," he blurted out loud, before being dragged out from his room.

°°°°

Some beating music began to play, as Kyle was found punching a boxing bag as his mother stared him down with gym clothing on and a whistle in hand.

Sweating tirelessly, he punched harder and harder. He ran rounds and rounds the school running tracks, also having climbed a small mountain near town that same day. His mother was training him, as she claimed that beating up the other boy from Jersey until he decides to surrender was the only way he'll leave both him and Cartman alone.

He continued determined to finish up his training, now practicing on his mother as she had boxing gloves on, challenging for he to fight her. At first he hesitated, as that was his mom. But she kept insisting until he lost his patience giving the first hit being brutally beaten up by her on the first, second and third round. No pity, not sweet talk, no being easy on him.

Just the jersey way. A cold heartless beat down.

Cruel reality it was, to realize it ain't easy being from Jersey.

On the other side of all the training sequence, Stan and Kenny dragged Cartman around town, taking him by the hand to each place they knew he'd be excited to go, eating his favorite foods even doing the shit he liked. But nothing, Cartman was a wreck, they really didn't know what cause him to act this way, but fuck, it did strike him bad.

"Dude, it's KFC!," Stan exclaimed in disbelief, as Kenny hold on to a chicken leg holding himself from eating it himself, as he dragged it left and right infront of Cartman.

Cartman didn't even flinched, as he rested his chin on his hand, lost in thought. Kenny frowned, he was getting concerned and he knew Stan was feeling the same thing, it was unlike Cartman to just act all emo like this, it kinda reminded him of Stan when he was depressed. It's fucking bumming him out.

His eyes widen, "Stan, I think I have a solution for Cartman's problem," he stated, as Stan looked at him confused.

"Okay, bubbie, make sure you focus on hitting his face and stomach when he losses focus, this isn't MMA so aim for his knees," she positioned herself in a way he could practice on her, but Kyle knew better that she wouldn't make it easy on him.

As he back and forth infront of her, he pinned point areas that weren't covered by her arms, he fake aimed her shoulder immediately hitting her gut instead, causing her to shudder before picking up the pace, as she punch him hard in the face.

"Don't let your guard down, Kyle," she pointed out, before aiming for his legs with a kick, aiming his face with punches he dodge it quickly, as he moved quickly now stepping on her feet causing her to whimp in pain as he took this opportunity to smack her knees with a kick, then knee smaking her stomach causing her to kneel down as she felt the pain.

He smacked her with a kick in her face; blood now sliding down her nose, as she slouch down, causing her to go backwards, now lounging himself towards her dropping her to the floor with a loud thump.

She smiled as she tried getting up, "that was great, Bubbie, you're getting better," she complimented, reaching her hand out to him to help her up.

Kyle knew better not to trust her, he grabbed her arm tightly as he twisted it enough to pinned her to the ground with it, slamming her body against it hardly, making her yelped as he did not let go.

"I think you're ready," she beamed proudly, as she struggled to get out from his grip.

"C'mon, fatass just drink a sip, it'll help you feel better," Stan said, as he offered some beer he had stole from his father's stash.

"Never thought myself ever suggesting alcohol, but here I am," Kenny stated, as he gripped firmly on to Cartman's chin trying to forcefully open his mouth as Stan tried pouring in some beer.

The people who passed by them sending daggers as they judged them hardly, but they didn't give a fuck.

They were infront of the cinema, as they had previously planned on taking Cartman for a movie and slip some of the beer in his soda, but Cartman refused to even go inside, claiming he just wanted to go home. That had made them snap tiresome of all this bullshit, now forcefully trying to shove the beer in.

Cartman whined, as he moved his head fanatically avoiding drinking the beer in hand, before snapping their attention to the road, as they heard a loud 'tsk'.

Some blonde kid stood near the light pole, arms cross as he rested his body against it. They knew that kid, as they recalled his name being Douglas, one of Cartman's minions.

They felt Cartman shudder in their grip as he backed away, hiding behind Stan, gasping lightly.

"Is this why you been acting all strange?," Stan asked, pin pointing his reaction just by seeing the blonde kid.

Kenny frowned, "hey, kid, what's your fucking deal?," he dared him to move forward, as he kept his ground; infront of his two friends.

"Dudes, let just go," Cartman whispered out.

"No, fuck that, what it he gonna do? Beat us up?," Kenny said, now raising his tone intentionally for the other to hear, "it's three against one, asshole. Is your messing with our fat bastard of a friend then you'll have to put on me first."

Douglas smirked, as he step forward, "tsk, tsk, tsk. Eric, is this how you let your so called friends treat you? By letting them shove beer up your ass?," he spoke, ignoring the threat from the boy who protectively shield his friends, "and here I thought Kyle was the funny one," he chuckled as he stopped infront of Kenny.

Kicking him straight in the gut making him kneeled to the ground as he groaned in pain. The boy already was coughing blood by just a simple kick, he can imagine if he were to be punched in the face; Kenny's never been this injured just by some kick in the stomach, he has fought before plenty of times so these types occurrences weren't new for him, but fuck, this kick, this kick hurt like hell. It's like that Douglas kid was made out of steel.

"Jesus christ!," Stan exclaimed horrid. Cartman winced his eyes shut, not wanting to see who was up next.

Douglas didn't even bother to beat up Stan, as he easily shove him away, hitting the ground with a 'hmph!' As he twisted his ankle during the fall.

Cartman eyes widen opened as he felt Douglas hands grip on him, he then pinned him against the wall as he whimpered by the strength put on.

"Eric, I've been very patient on you, I've waited for years to approach you, to admit my feelings for you," he continued, as Cartman gulped; sweating against his grip as he felt his legs wobble, "no one in this damn town realize your worth, but I?," he rested his hand on to his chin, sliding his fingers on his cheek now gripping them tightly making the boy pout, "it's like you don't really realize who's really out for you," he gripped on tighter making the boy squirmed, feeling pressure in his now red swollen cheeks. He peck him; one, two, three and continuously doing so as he got to ten.

Stan watched in panic from were he seated holding on to his ankle as it began to sting, as for Kenny, he kept holding on to his stomach looking at Cartman with apologetic eyes as he was still in too much pain to try and do anything.

Cartman yelped, as Douglas gripped his hand against his neck preventing the boy to try and run away from him, as he forcefully kissed him Cartman sobbing as he couldn't do anything, being too weak to budge out.

"Hey, bitch boy," they all looked at the the direction they heard that familiar voice, except for Cartman who tried gripping loose from the grip held against him, with his hands.

Douglas grinned widely, "Oh my, if it isn't Mr. Pussy wuss, finally stopped hiding in your cave?," he let go of Cartman, as the boy grasped hardly for air falling to the ground, "I thought you'd show up," he crossed his arms, as he eyed the red head daring.

Kyle spat on the ground, as he took his gloves off with his mouth and throw them to the side, then taking off his jacket, cracking his knuckles in a threatening manner.

"Kyle, dude, it's not worth it! This asshole beat Kenny!," Stan warned, fearing the fate and well being of his best friend.

Kenny groaned out, as the pain once more, kicked in.

"Didn't I warn you about messing with Cartman again?," he spat bitterly, as he approached the blonde boy with a fighting stance, gesturing with a hand to 'come forward and fight'.

Douglas laughed dryly, "if that's a 'warning' then you suck at it," he stated calmly.

Kyle grunted, as he held it together waiting for the other to make the first move. He stared at both his two friends that layyed in the middle of the street, and then to Cartman who kept grasping for air in the sidewalk.

He then snapped as he noticed Douglas aiming for him, he dodge a punch and turned to hit his back with both intertwined hands, making the boy stumble. Douglas gripped his arm with force slamming him to the ground as he pinned him down on top.

"I practice beforehand," He beamed, as he kept forcing his face on to the pavement.

Kyle lifted his knees against the side of his waist, twisting him to the side, now being on top, he gripped both Douglas arms on the side of his head, head smaking the boy in the face.

"So did I."

He stood up, yanking the already dizzy boy up, punching three times in the face, another two time in the chin, as he kicked in the stomach.

He heard his friends began to cheer on him, but he kept his focus on Douglas. Aiming straight in the knees as the other kneeled down, Kicking him in the gut before finally ending it with a kick in his face. Douglas fell down as he let out a small whimper, he approached the boy, spitting on him in the face as he had did in their previous fight. With a hard stomped pressed against his face, breaking some of his teeth and his nose cracked.

His friends winced, as if they could actually feel the pain emitted.

Kyle pressured on harder, making the boy squeal underneath, as his body squirmed fanatically as saliva crept out from his mouth.

"Are you gonna leave Cartman alone or not?," he spat coldly, unfazed by the image.

Douglas hesitated, continuously trying to get loose, but failing miserably, as he tirelessly looked at the furry eyes full of hatred from Kyle. He gulped, taking in all his pride before reluctantly giving up. He nodded.

"Say it," Kyle ordered, not feeling a ounce of contentment with cero words of confirmation.

"Y-yes, y-yws! I'll lea-ve him alone! So, Pleas-e let me go!," he cried out, sweating uncontrollably, as he began to tremble.

Kyle smirked, before finally moving his feet away from the boy's face, laughing dryly.

His friends shivered by how coldly Kyle laughed as he witnessed the boy still in the ground breathing heavily not baring to move, taunting him for not being able to get up.

Kenny had already sat up, as he was watching the fight with interest forgetting his pain as he was distracted seeing his friend beat the shit out of him with ease, also trying to memorized the movements he used, 'where the hell did he learn how to fight like that?.'

Stan on the other side, was debating on cheering his friend on or being concerned for his mental state, cause ¡Jesus christ! did Kyle show no mercy.

Cartman watched silently, as his mouth was slightly opened, he felt relief outta his body but a tense feeling against his chest, guilt somewhat spreading on him as he had made Kyle do that. On one side, he felt praised and pride for the redhead on the other, it felt so unlike Kyle to be this cold.

He kept looking at him as the other turned his gaze on him, now holding eye contact. His eyes still looked dulled up and lifeless, but his pupils were dilated as he had enjoyed the ass kicking.

He frowned softly, now looking concerned, as his pupils shrank back normal. Now that, was his Kyle.

Kyle ran pass by his friends; who looked at him actually feeling offended by that. As Kyle kneeled down up to his level, "you okay, fatass?," he asked, before helping him stand up.

"Yeah.." he blurted out, "thanks Kyle," he looked down ashamed, as he felt his cheeks heated.

'Was Kyle always this intense? Maybe, but fuck, today went overboard.' He thought, before looking at Kyle's blue eyes.

They kept looking at each other for brief more seconds, as Kyle watched Cartman expectantly, he wasn't sure what he was waiting for. Cartman thanked him, yes, but why did that feel like it wasn't enough? Why is he expecting for something more? What else could he possibly want?

Kyle was still left unpleased by the simple 'thanks', he frowned; he had saved Cartman's life for over the millionth time already! Might aswell hold his hand or something! He kept looking at him, expecting for Cartman to somehow read him. But the other looked at him awkwardly now feeling the silent tension between them, before leaving next to Kenny.

Kyle frowned disappointed, as he turned now to face his two friends.

"Dude he really fuck you up there," Cartman teased, as he touched Kenny's stomach.

"Not as bad as Kyle's beating the shit outta Douglas, fuck! Where did you learn how to fight that way, Kyle?," Kenny spat exhaustively excited.

Kyle smile lightly, before approaching the three, "my mom. Yeah you heard that, fatass? If it weren't for my mom you probably would've end up fingered!," he stated smugly, knowing damn well of Cartman's opinion about his mother.

Cartman roll his eyes to this, which made him smirked as he received the reaction he wanted.

"No way your fat bitch of a mom teach you all that," he blurted out annoyed. Unknowingly from all, he had gained some bit of respect for the woman.

"Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!," he grunted out furious, pointed accusatory; making all three unintentionally flinched.

Kyle slowly put his finger down with a nonchalant expression, as his friends smiled nervously trying to laugh it off. All three mentally agreeing to themselves, from that day forward, never actually push Kyle to his madness knowing the outcome it'll get. Except for Cartman who had no reason to stop being a dick to him, after all, it was their casual banter that kept him at float. He just knew his limits, that's all.

Arriving home, he went to his room not after giving a affirmative nod to his mother; who was watching TV with his dad. Before continuing to walk upstairs 'what was that all that about?' he heard his father asked confused, before he closed the door of his room.

He layyed down, and before he knew it, it was three of the morning. He hasn't been able to get a glimpse of sleep. As he felt annoyed for a 'thanks' he really couldn't grasp why he felt that way. It's not like Cartman could give him anything else, neither did he expected something back besides knowing Cartman would no longer feel worried about that stupid bitch. He sighed, as he kept gripping his pillow, what else would he want? A hug? Is that what he wanted? That's the most gayest shit he's ever thought.

He denied shaking all those thoughts away, squinting his eyes shut as if we're gonna make things better. He grunted annoyed before getting outta bed and putting his jacket on.

Heading outside, straight to Cartman's. It was already too late, everyone was already knocked out dead by this point, except for himself. He rolled his eyes annoyed, as he halted in the door step.

He knew Cartman had a bad habit of leaving his house door open, it not like many dare to enter his home anyways. But still, he knew his house door was always unlocked, he even had complained to Cartman about how irresponsible and unsafe it was.

He remembered Cartman being annoyed by how persistent he was with the subject, before he blurted out that his mother never cared of leaving the door open since he was a baby, toddler and now adolescent, and he had no plans on caring now. After all, he claimed that the only visitors he'd get were men his mom will bring home, crackheads even pimps, and he can't pin point anything more dangerous than that, and yet, he's still here, unbothered. After that, Kyle didn't continue insisting.

He held on to the handle before turning it, yet, he couldn't barged in. It was closed.

Did Cartman actually listen to him after all? That, he couldn't tell. But he went to the tree next to his window, climbing it before leaping himself to the window frame, holding on to it for dear life, before he opened the window; atleast that was still unlocked.

He silently crept inside, closing behind the window with a loud 'clack', Cartman was a deep sleeper, so he felt no worry. Then he analyzed his room before smaking him in the head doing the complete opposite of what he did from the start.

'Ouch!?' He blurted out eyes now wide opened.

"Kyle!?," he whispered angrily confused, as he looked him up and down, "the fuck are you doing in my room!?."

"That's my line, fatass. You do it all the time," he said casually, as he sat next to him.

"Yeah, but YOUR room!," he hissed, as he curled up trying to cover himself further in his blankets, "I was sleeping you asshole."

"Yeah, well I haven't," he stated annoyed, "and it's your fault."

He did not just went through all that training, getting his ass kicked by his own mother and being spit at just for a simple 'thanks', he felt like he deserved more. He wanted more.

"My fault? How is it my fault!?," he shouted angrily, now sitting down, eye to eye.

"You just 'thanked' me for saving your ass."

"Yeah, so?," Cartman asked confused, "you want me to bake you a cake or somethin'?," with a sarcastically tone.

Which made Kyle grunt, as he glared at him. Cartman gesture with his hands in a surrendering manner, before he sighed.

"I should've expected it from you, you greedy jew," he casually stated, long gone his sleepiness, as he shake his head dramatically, "what'd you want?."

Kyle groaned annoyed, as he looked at him, trying his hardest for Cartman to just read him instead of making him admit want he wants. All his pride will go down the moment he blurts out this humiliating request.

"Hold my hand," his cheeks heated up, ordering him bluntly, still knitting his brows together.

He looked at his extended hand, wanting to ignore Cartman's reaction, but in seconds peeking up, cause he in fact, did want to see it.

Cartman was left speechless, his mouth slightly opened as his eyes wide. Baffled, but hesitated reluctantly on holding on to his hand.

Cartman's hand was warm, soft, it just felt right in his. It always felt that way, the few times he's been forcefully hold by Cartman, previous times, he always never admitted to himself how that feeling always left him. He liked it, even though he always found himself annoyed by the reason he'd be grab for; normally Cartman being a complete ass.

He sighed, as he caressed his fingers with his thumb, unintentionally flustered Cartman; who eyed him cautiously, reddened cheeks and glossy eyes.

He upon the courage and hugged him, he felt Cartman being taken at back, as he had stiffened, he can already feel his judgment with out the need of seeing his stupid face. He frowned before pinching his back.

Unlike Kyle thought, Cartman on the other side was frozen by the sudden gesture, his heart pounder loudly as he felt his body stiffened with a burning sensation in his chest. He then felt Kyle's pinch in the back as he flinched angrily by the small pain, fucking asshole!

But he then corresponded, wrapping his arms around him, burying his face in his chest. Never in a million years would he imagine being in a situation like this with Kyle, noneless for he to had started it. He did had one similar, but it was because of grief, and that poor fucker didn't even die! Either way, this wasn't unpleasant for him, he rarely admits it, but he loves affection, actually genuine one, like this he's feeling right now.

But it did piss him off, feeling like a complete chick.

They hold on to each other for longer than a minute, they couldn't admit how fucking good it felt. Being able to just embrace their warmth and care for one an other, not fearing for judgment, not caring how intimate it all felt. Just embracing it. It was a silent agreement between the two, and they both knew that'll it be kept for; as another heart warming memory they would rather die then to share to the world.

Kyle hold on to Cartman tightly, gently pinning him down on his bed, Cartman's eyes widen as his peaceful restful face rested against the redhead's chest, now startled by how abruptly the demeanor changed.

He wasn't too surprised cause Kyle could be impulsive feeling, but fuck, this was a little too overwhelming.

He felt Kyle's hands had slid from his back now on to his chest, as he seated on his lap, now his face no longer felt his beating heart rhythm. Seeing his fiercely eyes glued on his. Yeah, definitely too much. He gulped uncertain what to say, as this felt..

'Thump!'

They both turned to look at his door, startled by the noise.

Cartman immediately backing away as he pushed Kyle off, knowingly what was going on downstairs.

"What was that?," Kyle asked, still eying the door.

Cartman tried shrugging it off, before pushing Kyle to the window, not wanting or feeling the need to explain to him about his personal living environment, before rolling his eyes.

"None of your business you dumb ginger," He cursed between teeth, now looking down the window, realizing Kyle can't actually just jump from there. He sighed.

He hold on to the window frame, annoyed.

"Dammit, kahal! You didn't even bother grabbing a latter?."

"I wasn't planning on entering your window, I was planning on entering your door but it was locked shut," Kyle crossed his arms defensive, "I jumped from your tree," he quickly added, now looking at the floor awkwardly.

Now hearing thumping downstairs, moaning and heavy panting.

Kyle bit his lip trying his best not to snarkily comment about it, but he couldn't help but snort.

Cartman frowned angrily, "Aye! Shut the fuck up! You were the one who entered my home with out permission, you sneaky jew!," he blurted out loud, red puffed up cheeks from embarrassment.

Making the redhead laugh out loud, not caring to be heard from anyone in that house, though, with all that noise coming from down stairs he doubted they'll hear him. The thought made him laugh even louder.

Cartman's phone began to rang, causing him to turn and head for it uncertain who the fuck would call him at these hours, he picked it up. Then looking at Kyle with a confused expression; who just shrugged, as it was unknown number.

"Hello?," he tentatively spoke, putting it on speaker, tilting his head a bit.

"Hey, Eric," the voice made Cartman shuddered.

Kyle frowned, snatching his phone from his hands, still not saying a word he leaned it to Cartman, gesturing to speak.

"The fuck you want?," he blurted out, still with the nauseating feeling in his stomach.

"I admit, I underestimated your dumb friend, but, as much as he could take me to hospital, I don't give up easily. I really like you, Eric.

I've watched from afar, admiring your stupid shit, seeing you fail and be a dick to everyone. When you first approached me I felt like I was in heaven, and when you drifted away just as abruptly you had came up to me, it made me feel disappointed.

Disappointed that you rather put all your attention in pieces of shit like your so called 'friends' who ignore you, call you names and even try to avoid you from time to time.

I on the other side never did that, just admiring you, being memorized by your beauty and 'awesomeness'. Yet I was toss to the sewers the moment you felt like giving your all to be around them again.

Why would you rather spend time with some douche self righteous bitches?

One who'd rather hide his boat streaming business because he didn't want to bother dealing with you, because he finds you and your antics annoying. He's far 'tired' from your shit, but doesn't bother leaving your side because he can't bother on changing old familiar habits. Yet he wouldn't hesitate on jumping the 'hate on Cartman' train the moment he gets the chance to.

Another who thinks his all over better than you, that he's always right and you're just a selfish lying bastard who deserves nothing but an agonizing death. Egocentric, self righteous annoying whiney bitch; he acts like he knows everything, yet he pins the blame on everthing wrong that happens in this shitty town on you, just like with the shank hunt situation, do you remember that, Eric? Do you fucking remember how your so called friends betrayed you that time? I bet he didn't even bother to apologize, justifying to himself that you don't deserve that shit either way, and that you'll 'get over' it.

And the other, who's only best friends with you out of 'pity' he can't even admit he's your best friend because he likes you, he has to make an stupid excuse to do so. Because he can't be close to Eric fucking Cartman because it's wrong, unless it's convenient. Then everyone is your damn friend, licking your fucking ass because they need you for somethin'

They don't give a fuck, Eric," he kept blabbering nonsense, as Kyle looked back at Cartman; who stood there listening attentively. He hoped he wasn't actually considering believing this shit.

He frowned uncertain, as there a few true facts in there, but most were wrong. Like he knew he was wrong about the skank hunt situation, he did eventually apologized to Cartman as it was the right thing to do, and, well he felt bad, guilty.

Which was rightly needed to be, as Cartman was actually being sincere with them yet they broke the little trust he had towards them, and his stuff. And knowing his dad was revealed later to be the actual skank hunt, the guilt pinned him down like a hawk grabbing its pray.

Besides, all that, the streaming wars made sense, Stan wanted to avoid telling Cartman, not much because of Cartman presence there but because he didn't want him to ruin his business. Which we all had reasons to believe he'd ruined it somehow!

Technically he still eventually partake in the whole ordeal, even though they were left disappointed that their money ended up in fake boobs. But ironically actually leading to be their solution for the water problem, so in a way, if it weren't for Cartman's fake boobs, Mr. Marsh wouldn't have thought about the titty water and we'd be ending up drinking, showering and using pee for a living.

And about Kenny's relationship with Cartman, there been various allegations about the two, but he could swear their friendship it's stronger than his and Stan's. Even if they bicker, and fight with one following what's right and the other what's wrong. Both still stay together, sharing the same sense of humor switching places from being complete dicks like stealing Butters money, or using a drone to spy on Craig's mom bush, or pulling sick pranks like a 'fake period' on the teacher to just laughing off to old fashioned dick jokes, being complete dumbasses trying and discovering new things, then heading to myself and Stan to tell us what ever shit they discovered or needed to get out from.

He swear those two were close, he swore he's seen Cartman care for Kenny as much as Kenny has for him. It's an odd relationship but their bond isn't something someone can shrug off easily for the eye.

They've never needed to admit being 'best friends' you could just see it from a far, when they hang out alone, when they find themselves together in the hallways; some place in town or at Cartman's house whispering, scheming, gossiping, complimenting, shitting on people they dislike or in general, teasing and judging their own selves, planning their next outing. When they team up supporting a same cause, when they shared each other secrets and share the same taste in music or opinion about something, sometimes even sharing the same mannerisms mimicking each other. Relying on each other for support, comfort. Stealing each other food or stuff outta pettiness, outta habit or cause they find it funny.

So no, he didn't believe Cartman needed to be told by Kenny to know that. He knows, he should know by now who's Kenny's best friend.

They were all a team, who had their breakups, but always found their way back to each other. No matter what, so he hoped Cartman would share the same sentiment about the group.

He looked at him again, as he kept listening to Douglas blabbering. He was already getting tired of this Douglas bitch, he doesn't give up.

"Eric, I promise you nothing more then love and happiness-" that was the most sappy ass, " you're everthing to me, I would never-" ridiculous, cringe worthy shit he's ever heard, "and Kyle could fuck himself! Cause he will never get in between my love for you-" that does it!

"Hey, Eric, who are you talking on the phone with?," he acted out as he wasn't hearing the whole thing, Cartman looked at him weird, "babe, you really shouldn't be on your phone right now, I want you sleeping in my arms right now," he winced by the words blurted out, but what's done is done.

Both kept silent, Cartman eyed him with the most horrific face, he could hear shuffling on the other line. This reminded him of the time Cartman fake being his 'boyfriend' when he wanted to date Nichole and the fat fuck wanted to pair her desperately with Token because they were of the same race, which was fucking ridiculous. But somehow it worked for the two. Either way, this will still benefit Cartman more than himself, goddammit.

He heard the phone 'beep' declaring Douglas had hanged up, good. Piece of shit was driving him crazy, calling them 'bad' friends when they had Cartman in the group.

He could list all the shit he's done and still be nothing compared to them. He bet he couldn't even handle Cartman for a day before he'd go crazy! Little pussy bastard. Knows dog shit about Cartman, probably just wants his fat ass before tossing him to the side once he realized how much leverage it actually is to handle the fat fuck. He really took for granted how much it takes to be able to actually keep up with Cartman and still be decently sane.

Cartman is not a easy task, he's surprise Butters has able to get a better hold on him compared to the four, that says much. After all, Butters has taken most of Cartman's shit, not only that, actually befriending Cartman; Cartman genuinely sees him as a friend unlike others, even though he doesn't admit it, it's more than obvious who he trust the most. Either Kenny or Butters, he definitely has a thing for blondes for his personal emotional/psychotic bargains.

He turned to look at Cartman; who watched him with mouth wide open and widen eyes, definitely baffled by the shit he's done.

Well, atleast it didn't seemed Douglas words about them got to him, or, he just doesn't take anyone's else's opinion in consideration when he sure of what he believes in.

Either way, he doesn't care. As long as he doesn't fall for it.

"Did you just call me 'babe,' the fuck jew?," he asked, still in disbelief.

"Look, fatass, he's definitely stubborn for you. And considering he's from Jersey who has a 'crush' on you. Who knows what he's capable of?," he sighed, massaging his forehead, "just give me a few days to think of a good solution to get rid of him."

"Why do you care so much?," he said bluntly, causing him to look at him in 'awe', not understanding what he meant, "I mean.. you don't really have too," he dragged along his words, as he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Because if I don't solve this now, you're still gonna be shitting about this to me later," he justified the obvious.

°°°°

"For what I've searched, it appears it's called a 'jersey fever', it's a burning sensation that makes people from Jersey feel this burning passion for their crush that not even death itself compares to it's pain.

Which will make sense why he doesn't give up easily, the ass kicking was probably not even near as painful than whatever he feels for you, fatboy," Kyle explained his research, as he put some books in his lockers before closing it.

It was third period, he and Cartman were in the hallway speaking of the issue in hand.

"So what, am I just gonna have to deal with it for the rest of my life!?," he groaned frustrated, "is there anyway I can fix it, maybe make him fall for some other dude?."

Kyle denied with his head, "I'm afraid not, it's not that simple Cartman. The jersey in him will prevent any other senses that could possibly lead him to fall for someone else for the meantime, and for what it seems; as he has kissed you plenty of times, it won't wear off with a kiss."

"Oh? So you're suggesting for me to give him my ass!? Gross, you dumb ginger!," he exclaimed disgusted.

Kyle rolled his eyes, as he misinterpreted what he meant, "no, fatass. I mean that there's still one option left," he stated, a little nervous for the suggestion he will be about to make.

"What is it?."

"I need you to kiss me."

Cartman's eyes widen in horror, "the fuck, kahal!?," he screamed fanatically as he began slapping him in his chest.

Kyle lifted his arms up, blocking the hits as he raised his hands in surrender, "Dude, trust me I don't want to do this either! But that's what I've read and there's no other solution besides having to fuck him," that startled him, as he immediately stopped, "So are you gonna hear me out or not!?."

Cartman slowly dropped his arms to his side, now listening, paying attention to what he has to say.

"Look, apparently, for people from Jersey when they cannot be corresponded from the other person they'd be able to fuck and move on or- they must attempt to fight their partner."

Cartman groaned annoyed, "Dude, what is it with Jersey and fighting!?," he then reluctantly asked, "but what's the point of the kiss then?"

"The kiss is to show possessiveness, ownership and shit like that," he tried sparring some details, as he already felt embarrassed as it is.

Was he really gonna do all this, just for Cartman?

"Aye! No one owns me!," he blurted out loud.

"That's how it works, fatass. I'm literally just putting myself out there for you, might aswell do what I say if you really want that piece of shit to leave you alone."

He contemplated for a bit, before he nodded in defeat, as he breathe heavily, "alright, but it better work, jew!."

He nodded affirmative, as he knew it would.

Kyle dragged him outside the back of the school, not willing to be seen by any students, friends or classmates; he had already digged a deep hole for himself by this point. Might aswell prevent further humiliation by not being seen, it didn't matter if Douglas didn't see it, by what he read he'll feel it the moment he tries stealing another kiss from Cartman.

He'll taste it in his lips even if it takes him days before stealing one, even if Cartman showered, ate, wash his face or brush his teeth; he'll taste his saliva and scent all over Cartman. Making him burst in to flames wanting to then try, once more and lastly, fight him.

Finally getting to the end of this once and for all.

Cartman's heart pounded as he was being dragged outside by his redhead friend, about to make out. He felt himself sweat, as Kyle close the door behind, now outside and seemingly the goths kids are long gone from there, he gulped.

'It's time,' Cartman already felt dizzy and nauseous. As Kyle didn't hesitate a second before trying to grasp him in to a kiss, he walked backwards startled as it what sudden.

For any pair of eyes it could seemed Kyle was desperate, when he only just wanted to get it all over with. Or atleast, that's what Kyle believed it was.

In fact, Kyle was feeling a immense flame in his chest. Since the start it just felt like the flame got bigger and bigger, as when he heard Cartman confess to him that he was stolen a kiss, when he fought Douglas, when he felt like Cartman didn't feel protected by him, when he trained to get better, when he actually SAW Douglas kiss Cartman various times, when he craved for a reward instead of a 'thanks', he's been really feeling all that. And it annoyed him to hell, and he desperately wanted it to stop, and he knows damn well it won't into Douglas leaves the fatass alone.

Kyle reached on to Cartman once more, trying to get a kiss from him, but Cartman kept pushing away now making him feel rejected.

"What is it now?," he grunted out, a little to harsh then he intended to be.

"Dude, how is a kiss gonna work if Douglas is nowhere to be seen?," he asked, still keeping a brief distance from him.

"Just trust me," he reassured, trying to calm his own breathing. As this was getting outta hand, he felt his hands twitching and body sweat, the burning sensation increasing.

Cartman reluctantly leaned forward, squinting his eyes shut, giving the affirmation he needed before he smacked their lips together eagerly.

He cursed himself inside, as he unintentionally slammed cartman against the wall, it felt good, it feel grossly good. He felt like he wanted to cry as a immense feeling of relief left his body.

Was this what actual peace felt like?

His hands cupped his chubby cheeks as he indulge himself deeper in to that kiss. It felt right, it felt down bad right.

It was insane how the jersey nature in him could actually tell, Douglas had stained him. He could feel his taste; probably dry lips and tuna flavored saliva. Gross. And could swore smelling a mixture of his aroma on to Cartman's; 'ocean breeze' presumably from his deodorant, as his scent was just sweaty after gym. Disgusting. Needless to say he had to dig in deep to get to actually stain his own territory, hopefully getting rid of it with his as he couldn't bare it, a feeling of jealousy surge inside him. As he tried to wash Douglas presence focusing desperately on Cartman's, it was so hard to pass through it, cause it felt strong as fuck, but he manage.

Passing all those unpleasant layers, was Cartman's.

Cartman on the other side, had a strawberry scent all over him; probably from the cheap shampoo brand the stores sales in for specials. Cartman was a whore for 'steal and deals' after all, besides having to lowered his budget as his mother had gotten stricter with his spending habits because for their living expenses the money was barely enough to last for the week.

Weekends is when Cartman would tend to go to any of their houses, inviting himself in an making up an excuse of 'hanging out' even though most of the time he'd be going through their fridge for minutes before coming out from the kitchen 'totally not suspiciously' 'totally not obvious that there was food and snacks inside his puffy jacket' eventually it just become common and further on not questioned by it, just acting like they didn't know Cartman stole their food behind their backs; just cause he was hungry but was too embarrassed to admit he couldn't afford food during the weekends.

He could swear that even Kenny can now afford more living expenses than Cartman, it's kinda sad, but if Cartman actually were to work like Kenny does, maybe he could afford a decent living again.

Besides his scent, the taste of his lips were immaculate; they were soft, and the flavored didn't taste all that bad, he could taste the salsa tacos he had ate for lunch that day plus a mixture of coke soda and some gummy bears. His breath was warm and soothing, he could feel himself lay his lips against his for hours and still not get tired of it.

He felt Cartman's arms wrapped around his neck, as he now felt Cartman correspond, making it all feel way much better.

Atleast the feeling was mutual.

He placed his hands on to his waist, before breaking it off, Cartman looked at him with those big brown-blue eyes of his, mouth still slightly opened as he blurted out a 'wow'

Fucking wow it was.

They stood their contemplating each other for a couple of seconds that felt like hours, before he reluctantly let go, he looked at his right, and sure enough Douglas was already standing there, sending daggers at him.

So it seems they didn't need to kiss, for the blonde to feel threatened, but still enough he still had to put some 'ownership' on Cartman to prevent jersey fuckers like him to approach him and attempt to do something to him. Though, in this town he didn't need to worry much of encountering someone from Jersey noneless someone who'd find Cartman attractive besides Douglas.

But the possibility was still there, and he'd rather just prevent it now.

"Sup, blondie," he grinned welcoming, with a teasing tone. Still holding on to Cartman as if he were some trophy he triumphantly bragged with pride and smugness.

The coldly feeling resurfacing again in his stomach, he eyed him cautiously as the other slowly walked to his side approaching him gently.

Douglas face seemed expressionless, but his eyes showed envy, pettiness, hatred.

Kyle grinned to that, tasting the other's lost, flavoring every damn second. He let go of Cartman, not before giving him one more triumphant kiss; in hopes to provoke the other up some more.

Now stretching his arms behind his neck, seemingly unfazed by their blonde 'companion', feeling a exciting dread to begin the fight, as he positioned himself in a fighting stance.

Maybe it was the jersey in him peaking up, but he felt more confident than he's ever felt before,

'Third is the charm.'

And in those brief seconds was tackled by him, now being towered down, but immediately overpowering him as he swing him to his side before standing up.

Kyle picked up his pace, as he stood waiting for the other to stand up, following this little game of his, having a laugh, like a predator playing with it's pray; seeing it pathetically wince and grip for dear life, miserable falling back in the predator's hold, before falling once more in his grotesque 'playfull' trap being played once more, flavoring it's pain and whimpers, until finally getting tired of his entertainment before ceasing to his hunger devouring it to it's pitying dismay.

Cartman cheered him on from afar, which just made Kyle flavored this even more, making it all too sweet. Encouraged to continue with this awful behavior, he couldn't wait any longer and began punching Douglas face before the other could stand back up properly.

Punch after punch, he was then met with a fist in his face as Douglas began fighting back just as intense.

Both stumbling in the ground once more, now Douglas taking the lead as he keep punching his face with fierce desperation, anger creeping more and more in his insides. Kyle could see a small slyly smile spread in his face as he kept punching him hard.

Hearing Cartman gasped as he began booing for the other boy 'boooo Douglas boooo!'

He chuckled tirelessly as the pain began to flourish, making the blonde even angrier, making his punches even more aggressive and hard.

This was the plan, so he kept himself from shoving him off, clenching his fist tight, letting the boy take all that frustrating anger outta him before actually making a move.

The thing is, he now felt pity. Or was it because he can now feel himself somewhat relating to Douglas? Both having this jersey in them, having to repress it to a daily, when it becomes worse by day, when it's unbearable to handle making them feel crazy, overwhelming angry. An uncontrollable madness that becomes exhausting.

After kissing Cartman, he felt his body at ease, as if all along he craved that one simple gesture for he to finally get a breath break.

Which is madness on it's own.

Point is, he realized that some of his repressed anger could somewhat be from his jersey nature all along, an he wasn't even aware of it until now.

He coughed out some blood, dangerous alerting him it was now enough. Now kicking him straight in the stomach making him fly right off him, before he stood up tirelessly, looking at Cartman who watched worrisome.

People will think this was an odd sight, but in all honesty he knew Cartman's bullshit facade, he knew that bastard cared, to an extent, but it matter little now, he focused on Douglas who was already headed his way. His vision blurred and he felt himself weakened, but that didn't stopped him from swinging a punch straight to his face knocking him down, out cold.

'Fuck you, Kyle,' he blurted out before falling unconscious, somehow giving him a dejávu feeling.

°°°°

Later that day, they were sent to the principal's office, the janitor had caught them during the end of their fight, alerting the PC principal.

He sighed as he now waited for his mother, as PC principal called both their parents. Cartman had ran off, dogging a possible detention for himself, like the pussy he was. He rolled his eyes to that.

'What an asshole.'

Douglas sat there silently as he gripped his left arm, looking at some painting with no mean.

And for he, keeping his arms crossed looking at the other side were the window was; looking outside as it look like a presumably good day.

"Bubbie!," he heard his mother scream concerned as she entered the office, following behind was his dad and two other adults presumably Douglas parents, "did he hurt you?," Kyle could possibly roll his eyes to that, as it was obvious from his now bruised and wrapped bandage face, that he was in damn pain, "What class of jersey folks won't keep their oath!," she frustrated exclaimed, as she cupped his cheeks eyeing his face.

"Oh heeeeell no—," the other woman exclaimed offended by the comment, moving her index finger dismissively, "you did NOT, just suggest us being some scummy cross backing traitors."

With that PC principal stopped in track, not understanding what was happening, "Uh.. what's going on?," he asked, but his words just flew in the air, as both ladies ignored it. And both men shaked their heads in a warning, causing PC principal to flinch.

'Oh god' he heard Douglas murmured, as he gripped his nose annoyed.

In matters of minutes the women began fighting, yanking their hair out, scratching and hissing wihle both husband's holding on to them respectively, as they prevented them from furthering causing damage while they cursed each other out.

PC principal just watch in bewilderment of the whole thing, not actually wanting to get involved, even though they were in HIS ground. But he was a father of five,'the PC toddlers', and needed to keep himself alive atleast until they went off to college, so he swallowed through it.

Kyle looked at Douglas who was looking at his feet, maybe he wasn't so douchee with out the jersey taking control? He does recall him being a good student and over all a chill nameless dude who was never put in the spotlight and found comfort being in the background. Ofcourse that seemed to change after being targeted from Cartman to be a possible minion candidate for a working scheme, hopping to the spotlight out of nowhere.

He seemed lost in thought before looking his way, "thanks.." Kyle looked at him confused but listened, "I know what you did there, back there.. you could've just easily beat my ass but you let me take all my anger on you," Oh, that's what he meant. He nodded understanding, "I honestly feel much better now, maybe now I can move on from that fat turd," he chuckled tirelessly, before looking at the women that were now on to each other, Kyle's mom beating the shit outta his mom.

PC principal was nervously trying to break the fight down as Strong woman was also trying to calm down the commotion. When did she arrive? That they did not know.

But both boys felt at peace now leaving behind the Cartman issue.

Kyle smile relieved that it was all over, but it immediately faded away as he remembered he had kissed Cartman.

As the day drifted off, the evening turning to it's end and the redhead walked through the cemented cross walk, unpunished as his mother reward him for standing up and keeping his ground like a 'proud jersey civilian', still he cringed to that, cause he was ashamed of that nature of him, far from proud. His hands in his pockets feeling relaxed as he felt the breeze hit his face, eyes slightly shut. He kept on walking ignoring the people who looked at him confusingly as he totally looked wrecked from the face, but he didn't care, he actually felt like a badass with possibly scarring wounds.

He sighed as he darted his eyes on to a green familiar house, he now jogged his way there, finding Cartman sitting on his door steps with his chin resting on his hands, looking up as he noticed his arrival.

"About time," he complained. Kyle arched a brow, now figuring out Cartman was actually expecting him to come, "how'd it go?.. with Douglas?," he added.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "you'd know if you hadn't run like a pussy."

Cartman frowned, "Aye! I ain't no pussy, you wimpy motherfucker'!," he pouted out angry, now standing up.

"He isn't gonna bother you anymore. Now for sure he won't," he spoke casually, crossing his arms.

Cartman's frown soften, "Okay, cool.." he looked away awkwardly as if he wanted to add something else.

Kyle already knew, just by seeing his demeanor he knew what's been really up his mind. He scratched the back of his neck, unknowing what to say, as words formed inside his throat but were stuck inside his mouth.

They stood there watching silently, as they struggled to form any words.

"Okay, then and I'll see you later at school, tomorrow..?," he waved goodbye, immediately rushing away from there.

"O-oh, yeah.. sure, bye!," he heard Cartman awkwardly blurt out, before entering his house and slamming the door shut.

By that point Kyle was already in his own doorsteps entering his home, now finalizing the day.

°°°°

"Damn dude, you look like in a good mood today," Stan commented.

"Really? I don't feel any different," Kyle dragged his hands on to his stomach, confused.

"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but you look great," he shares a thumbs up at his best friend.

Kyle then looked at Kenny who nodded in agreement, he rubbed the side of his neck still contemplating what it all meant but eventually shrugging it off. His parents and Ike also said the same thing at breakfast.

A couple of minutes of the odd commentary, they were then interrupted by Cartman who greeted them tirelessly as he yawn heavily.

"Hey, dickwads."

"Mmfph mmfph mmfph," Kenny muffled under his scarf taking out his phone he had recently bought, and brought it up to Cartman.

"Ah? Let me see," Cartman commented now focusing on whatever was on the screen.

"What is it?," Stan asked curious, now wanting to get closer to eye what's going on.

Kyle also leaned in interest, unintentionally against Cartman's back, as his head crept on top of his shoulders, he felt Cartman shuddered as he elbowed him in the stomach. Now wincing silently as he gritted his teeth wanting to punch that fat fuck in the face.

"Wow," Stan commented with widen eyes, "you fought Douglas yesterday and you didn't bother on telling me?," Stan now looking at him expectantly, just now realizing.

Kyle arched a brow, as it was damn obvious by his now bruised healing face he had gotten in a fight the day prior.

"Mmfph mmfph mmfph mmfph," Kenny explained.

'Apparently some third grader was at the roof top and saw you two fighting and decided to record the whole thing.'

"Damn, he was beating your ass up," Stan commented now eyeing the video up closer.

Kyle rolled his eyes, he was grateful he didn't saw what happened BEFORE the fight.

"What did that asshole want now?," Stan asked, now turning his way.

"Mmfph mmfph mmfph mmfph mmfph," Kenny commented as he tucked away his phone.

'Probably wanting revenge or something, by the looks of it, fatboy was there. So maybe he wanted his ass?'

"¡Aye, shut up kinny!."

Stan and Kenny began howling in laughter, not taking it as seriously as he had done, Kyle smiled finding it funny noneless.

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #kyman #sp kyman #this was just an excuse to write Sheila beating Kyle's ass for 'good' reason #same goes for kyle beating the shit out of his mom as a cute bonding moment between the two #i just thought it would be funny💀#this isn't to be taken seriously obviously

38 notes · View notes