#this isn't a bad thing bc it saved me from making y'all listen to my bullshit

[etherealsign282]

Imagine giving abusers/ex abusers respect on a silver platter for the mere concept that they could've possibly changed, and going easy on them

Only to harshly criticize abuse survivors for "gossiping" and "talking shit" about their abusers because "you're saying words but I'm here to see the ex abuser's actions"

But they are not seeing the abuser's actions, they're only hearing that they may or may not have changed and they've already given them a chance with zero caution and zero doubt which means any red flags are harder to spot (bc your mindset is already trying to focus on pardoning them and being biased)

While demonizing and ostracizing the survivor and not giving them a chance to be heard because "they're just bitter" which means every little flaw and mistake becomes a red flag

And both sides are just saying words (maybe the survivor is backing up the evidence sometimes) but somehow because the abuser is being their usual, egotistical self and passive aggressively doing a smear campaign based on "they don't like me anymore even though I did my best and I've changed" (which shows a very huge lack in self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and empathy), while the abuse survivor is aggressively calling them out, the abuser just seems better to listen to

And I'm tired of the injustice toward abuse survivors. I'm tired that abusers can just say or do whatever and people give them a second chance for pretty much no valid reason, when they're so overly critical of the people who were literally abused (with criticism possibly their whole life)

And people are willing to actually hang out with p3d0s and rxpists and abusers because "they probably changed" but then the people that are hanging out with these p3d0s and rxpists are just so quick to be like "anyways I can't be your friend if you're a shit talker or you're bitter and haven't moved on from trauma yet". Like I'm talking shit but your bestie RXPED SOMEONE.

Like there's clearly some part of you that is not rationalizing things properly and is making you more likely to demonize and attack people for calling a rxpist a rxpist, than demonize the rxpist itself because they can play nice to specifically get on your good side by seeming perfect and never negative (which is a huge sign of manipulation but ok)

But I've found that I just can't save y'all and make y'all see that irrationality, and I shouldn't bother trying.

Because so many people just want me to extend my emotional labor to teaching abusers not to abuse, teaching abuse apologists not to be abuse apologists, and have wanted me to since I was a kid

And the more I rant and rave the more exhausted I get with this idea in mind that I'm ranting to save them and make them understand, and I know it just won't fix anything, not for me and not for y'all

Bc y'all are dead set on letting the abusers play the victim because they know how to play the self-pity game just right to seem more relatable than the angry abuse survivor, and make the angry abuse survivor seem like the big scary mean ones for growing a jagged edge to their moral compass

And y'all have been groomed to empathize more with a bad guy who cries victim than a good guy who is here to *do good* not just to pretend play nice. And I'm over trying to be the therapist that makes you understand how fxked that is.

And no this isn't me saying I'll just move on and be positive and be a good happy lil camper that just loves and tolerates everyone and never vents anymore.

This is me saying that the mental burden of your fxcked up, victim blamey perspective is not my responsibility to fix and I'm not going to rant with the idea that I CAN fix y'all.

Imma rant about how much I can't fucking stand y'all who weaponize ignorance and incompetence, and how much I want y'all to suffer and be as miserable as the rxpists that you ride for their approval, since y'all clearly are going to be on their side either way (until they fxk you over themselves).

And how much I know you're already at that level of misery if you genuinely can't shut the fuck up about abuse survivors for two seconds bc of your insecurity and fears making you project onto them all these things you're scared of being, and how delicious it tastes to me, and how much I crave to see more

Until you're in your 50's saying contradictory shit every two seconds and starting a fight every week like a toxic boomer because you no longer know who you are, what you stand for, and what is based on your authenticity vs your performativity, you just know you want to yell and scream away your insecurities.

And if you don't like it? Cope and seethe.

(bc I might rant a lot but at least I'm ranting for justice and I'm ranting bc y'all are actually being dicks and trying to ruin my mood for no reason- ranting about how survivors are bad bc they wont repress the things that happened to them like you do is very clearly a "I'm miserable and bitter and just won't admit it so I'll project it onto everyone else" thing. The problem is I don't attack good people, and y'all will attack anything that seems even mildly threatening to your insecurities).

#toxic positivity #abuser apologist #victim blaming #victim complex #trauma #emotional abuse #toxic #mental abuse #abuse survivor #but yall the same people that uses narcissist as a buzzword for YOUR exes #but people cant say “hey i was abused by x person” without being toxic #fake supporter #hypocricy #weaponized incompetence #ignorance #performativity #oh but you understand exactly how invalid the “i tried my best and ive changed” argument is when its someone who hurt YOU

[socheckitout-mikey]

Can you do a curly shepard headcanon where you are the curtis sister and you are having a secret relationship with curly

heya! i'm so glad to see people requesting more curly bc i don't see much written for him. i love that we get to know more about him in That Was Then, This is Now. i know this is probably not you were expecting, but ig it's just my own personal opinion on someone being a curtis sister and dating curly. if it was more of a general reader then i would've made it much different. (: <333 - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being a Curtis Sister and Secretly Dating Curly Shepard Hc's:

° Your brothers are insanely protective of you, which means that they'll always have an opinion when it comes to your s/o, no matter who it is. Honestly, they just want the best for you, which means no bums or hoodlums: A.k.a anyone like Dallas Winston, Tim Shepard or Curly Shepard are off limits! 

° You weren't a stranger to Curly Shepard, having seen him around school and with your brother's gang, but most often because he would hang out with Pony and the gang in the vacant lot, kicking a football around. So y'all were friendly at least by this point.

° As I've mentioned before, Curly isn't canonly smart at all and began flirting with you in front of your brothers and gang: Each of their heads turned to Curly lightning fast! He got cussed out and almost beat the tar out of as if he was complete filth for pulling a move like that on you.

° In fact, Sodapop was definitely the worst of the bunch because of the quick bursts of anger he experiences often. He's the most protective of you other than Darry and doesn't think anyone is good enough for you. That was the day that Curly Shepard knew better than to do such a dumb thing in front of your brothers. It was also the day that he developed a big thing for you, as he saw you as a challenge worth acquiring. He does dumb things all the time, not having much courage. However this time he went in impulsively, knowing he had to have you.

° It was also the day that you saw him in a new light. You'd always listened to your brothers, however, now you felt that a little fun behind their backs wouldn't be so bad…

° Surprisingly for not being intelligent, he's actually really good at flirting. He's got a smoothness to him, a recklessness that won you over quite quickly and the rest seemed to be history! Well, except for the fact you had to keep this on the down low even from Dallas because this is the one time he'd snitch on you. He wasn't even keen on Curly being a match for you, having pulled you off to the side on the front porch after Soda had to go on a long ass walk that night Curly tried pulling a possible move on you.

° "Listen kid, I don't think it's such a hot idea. Curly's an alright buddy for us guys, but not for you, ya savvy?" Dally said, drawing in a deep breath as he smoked.

° "Really? You too?" You looked amused, eyebrows raised, almost miffed. “I know what ‘not for me’ means. You think I’d date him, don’t you?”

° "It ain't cruel, but to save ya a lotta trouble. We all want what's good for ya, kid. You know that right?" 

° "Yeah sure."

° “Now don’t get mouthy with me, kid!” Dally said real stern and mean, his eyes like two hot coals.

° You nodded, backing off from the topic which caused him to smirk a little and ruffle your head playfully.

° It all becomes a massive secret from the moment it starts, but Curly makes that challenging when he's literally so mouthy and such a bad influence on you. You've never quite been a goody goody, but Darry has always been stricter on the likes of you and Ponyboy than on Soda, which makes you resentful. Despite being a year younger than Soda - making you around Curly’s age.

° But even you drew the line one night when your brothers and gang were all out and Curly turned up at your window drunk. You rolled your eyes as he hiccuped, sat flat on his ass on the dirt outside after falling the short height from your window sill. He was bitter as you snorted at him, miffed he’d arrived. That was the one and only time he ever tried something dumb like that. You chewed his ear in for weeks! Didn’t let him live it down for awhile after either.

° Canonly Curly is sort of a coward in the sense that he’s all bark and no bite. Unless his gang is there. He acts like he’s not afraid of what your brothers and their buddies will do to him once they find out, but for now he’s enjoying the ride while it lasts.

° He thinks it’s a good idea to put on shows sometimes to make you crazy with jealousy, because Curly can be a bit of a dick, but he realises it’s just not worth all of the hassle.

° God forbid when he inevitably goes back to juvie. You’re understandably emotional, but you can’t exactly tell your brothers why you’re so upset. You try hiding it but Soda’s really good at reading your non-verbal cues.

° Curly is definitely not the best influence on you, probably causing you to become more reckless and mouthy. It’s a wonder that you haven’t been stopped by the cops by now. Darry and your brothers probably hold an intervention when it gets worse. Curly will goad you to do stupid shit.

° Inevitably your brothers will discover this secret. It was Two-bit who found out, and although he didn’t like to be a snitch, the talk he had with you didnt go so hot. Your promises ended up being empty and he got worried. Two has a soft spot for you since you remind him so much of his kid sister. With his grey eyes gone sombre, he came clean to Darry who blew his top immediately when he picked you up from school. Man you hated Two-bit for a while.

° Curly got into shit himself from Tim and the gang. It didn’t end well, but it didn’t ruin the gang's ability to back the other up.

° I’m sorry to say it but once they find out, everything is over between you and Curly. It just isn’t happening. Not under Darry’s roof and you don’t have the dough to get your own place, not whilst you’re still in school that is. You’re most likely grounded for a long time too. You so much as get caught speaking to him and you’re in big trouble. Darry is a momma bear!

° Sodapop tried to understand but he feels betrayed that you didn’t trust him enough to come clean. You guys are close like that. He gets over it quickly, albeit a little sore.

° Pony comforts you a lot in his gentle way. He doesn’t really get it but he takes your mind off of things by taking you to movies.

° Overtime you realise your brothers and their friends were just looking out for you. Curly isn’t really the cream of the crop. He’s not striving for much and has a pretty messed up police record. Darry reminds you that you dodged a bullet, but you still don’t exactly see Curly the same way he does: You still are fond of him, sneaking him glances and smiles. Hell, you even snuck behind their backs in order to talk with him: He dug it, but you knew it hurt him. You never realised he dug you like that.

° When you parted ways with somewhat understanding, you kissed his cheer. “Goodbye, Curly. You take care’a yerself!” He still remembers your honey sweet voice and the way you looked so good walking away from him.

° (I totally know that this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s just my own personal view. Although Ponyboy is friends with Curly, calling him a good kid - Curly kinda has a rough streak. The Curtis boys would react the same if even Dally or Tim tried to pull something like that on you too. They’re protective, and being as you’d be the only girl in the household, they’d see it as their duty to protect you. They’d want the best for you, which probably means dating someone more like Johnny or another good person: Someone that would treat you right and be a good influence on you. I hope that makes sense.)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

#curlyshepard #curly shepard #curly shepard imagines #curly shepard headcanons #curly shepard x reader #curtis sister reader #curly shepard x curtis sister reader #the outsiders #the outsiders imagines #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders curtis sister reader #the outsiders curly shepard #the outsiders curly shepard imagines #the outsiders curly shepard headcanons #the outsiders curly shepard x reader #the outsiders curly shepard x curtis sister reader #i hope you enjoyed it!

[heartbeetz]

Damn I was like 0.2 seconds away from making a soft post about michael again but then my mother sent me the most incomprehensible text out of the blue with zero context so never mind actually

#this isn't a bad thing bc it saved me from making y'all listen to my bullshit #but I'm LOSING it over her text #''if I were a food would I be baked or fried or ripe or stale or frozen or diced or shredded or boiling or chilled or set or pickled or'' #MA'AM. WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. AKSHDJSKDHB #WHAT IS THE CONTEXT FOR THIS #I'm not even gonna respond bc she said she was tired and about to sleep so I'm just gonna let her sit with that one overnight #I see her tomorrow anyway bc she has to drive me to get my second covid shot #I am just... I was soft and somewhat emotional over michael and kr in general but now that is Completely Gone #you can't just throw words at me #roz posts #mother mention #parent mention

[waumpel]

ADHD STUDY TIPS

I have adhd. I'm taking all online classes this semester for college. Somehow, I'm not failing. Here's what I do that works for me!

1. I have an alarm that makes me do math every morning to turn it off, it's called Alarmy! 📚

2. It also plays a different loud sound every day from random-- I have several hundred(?) ringtones downloaded from Zedge, things like songs from shows I like or Pokemon cries or MBMBAM lines, and this helps me wake up to a different sound I'm bound to like which my brain can't get used to (and then ignore). I highly suggest godzilla roars if you need to be startled awake. 📚

3. This is SUPER HARD but I always try to force myself to sit up in bed when I'm turning off my alarm or checking my phone or whatever, so I'm not tempted to pass out again. I also like to get up and loudly tell my cats "good morning" so I wake us both up 📚

4. PLEASE STOP EATING CEREAL AND BAGELS AND STUFF. You would not BELIEVE the difference it makes when you eat things like fruits and eggs in the morning. NO MORE 10AM NAPS, I'M WATCHING YOU 📚

5. I literally schedule in Duolingo time. If you aren't learning a language you can do some other enriching activity like this, idk. I force myself to do it on my computer, not phone, so I can't lay down in bed when I'm doin it. I have a 101-day streak!! 📚

6. ik this isn't available to everyone but SPACE MATTERS SO MUCH!! I got a gaming desk that we put in our living room and I do ALL of my homework there. I also got a second monitor for my laptop with is SOOOO important if you're multitasking (and we all are, bc we're adhders ibdusvcjkn) 📚

7. HAND WRITE YOUR NOTES!!! I know this is super hard for many people-- I have carpal tunnel so I get it lmao. If you can't, at least type them. YOU THINK YOU CAN MEMORIZE INFO BUT YOU'RE WRONG!! Please write as much as you can i swear it will change ur life 📚

8. COLOURED! PENS!!! These changed the game for me y'all. I take all my notes in at least 2 colours, and I cycle through them a lot. My favs are Pilot Frixions because u can erase them :) (the highlighters are epic too) 📚

9. Make your space fun, but NOT DISTRACTING. I have a plant (his name is Yoshi) and a desk Godzilla (his name is Godzilla) on my desk, but they're out of the way so I can't zone out starin at em. But also, when I'm bored outta my gourd, I can smile at Yoshi and tell him how my day is goin :] 📚

10. SNACKING BAD *BUT*... sometimes i do it anyway... i try to associate certain foods with subjects, like I eat cocoa M&Ms (which are awesome) when I'm reading my Kaqchikel textbook. On the upside, I think it helps me recall Kaqchikel better? but also the language makes me crave mnms adkldigurvn 📚

11. LISTEN TO... CERTAIN MUSIC. I have learned that music with words, even in LANGS I DO NOT KNOW, is HELL for my adhd. Right now I'm listening to stuff like "Pokemon and Chill" (lofi album on YT), Studio Ghibli violin covers, and Night on Bald Mountain 5x on repeat ibjnvc.... I highly suggest songs/videos that are, like, 20+ minutes or else you'll get distracted with the constant change. Also, that No One's Around To Help 1hr vid is REALLY REPETITIVE and therefore PERFECT for when I'm reading textbooks. 📚

12.  EVERY NIGHT... i make a super detailed timetable schedule for the next day, down to the half hour. I don't always follow it but it's a really good reminder of what I gotta do. I write it on a whiteboard but sometimes I also write it on a sticky note and on social media so I don't forget. To do lists are so epic you guys 📚

13. THIS HAS SAVED MY L I F E: at the beginning of the semester I looked at ALL of my syllabi and wrote down EVERY daily task, test, homework, etc BY DATE. this is essentially a premade to do list EVERY DAY for MONTHS and oh my gosh it is the best thing I have ever done. 📚

14. I use the Forest app to track my productivity AND lock me out of apps ndsjv... podomoro timers work well too!!! 📚

15. Ok so for me this is like... a religious thing bc my Patron (my God) is a deity of fire AND working, but I like to light a candle (scented like FALL!!) and do a little prayer on it and I have it next to me when I'm workin on terrible, terrible homework. It helps me feel like my Patron is here with me, but also it’s GREAT for grounding and I can just kinda. Stare blankly at the flame and then get back to tryin to focus. 📚

16. Please drink water lmao, to make sure I drink enough I set little goals like "take a sip after every paragraph you read" 📚

17. Each of my classes has a different coloured notebook which I'm consistent with! Like, all my German notebooks through the years have been green! Also I take notes w green pens a lot in Deutsch 📚

18. HELLA STICKY NOTES... I put em on the bottom of my monitor, on a shelf by my desk, in my books as bookmarks (bad idea lol), on Yoshi. When I wanna go look up something random but I need to focus, I like to write it down on sticky notes to look at later. 📚

19. I'm the most annoying student ever. I like to do a bunch of assignments at once so I don't have to budget my time later, so I'll turn in like 5 things in an hour and then NOTHING for a week. ALSO i email my teachers constantly if I have any questions at all. I work at a pace that works for me!!! 📚

20. I turn off my sound on my phone until I'm done with work bc otherwise I WILL open that notification 📚

22. I make a loooot of chai (and also some overpriced herbal teas). It makes me feel fancy, it's better for me than coffee, and it helps me ground and focus! Plus it's a samefood! 📚

23. Hyperfixating on classic literature would be awesome, except I'm hyperfixating on Gothic and I'm taking a lit class for More Than Just Gothic. But I'm figuring out ways to connect them, which is really helpful, cause I get to enjoy my hyperfixation while learning for school! PLZ TRY TO DO THIS (harder when you're hyperfixating on godzilla :pensivecowboy:) 📚

21. When I have extra time I write my notes like I'm plannin to put em on Tumblr and taggin em as #darkacademia... I never post my notes, but when they look nice it's easier for me to look over em later. Plus it takes me longer to write so I remember it a lil better!! 📚

24. I'm in an awesome academia + studyspo server!! We sometimes study together on call and it's SUCH a good motivator! Here's an invite link if u wanna join, we are nice https://discord.gg/fjuX7TN (this wasn’t meant to be a promo post I just really like this group lol) 📚

OK I hope that helps!!! Feel free to add more if you have any tips that work for you :) Neurotypicals, feel free to RB respectfully!

(pics are: syllabus list, daily schedule, Yoshi the plant, and some fancy notes)

#studyspo #studying #studyblr #study breaks #study tips #study motivation #adhd #adhd study tips #adhd studyblr #long post #dark acadamia aesthetic #light academia #dark academia #grey academia #chaotic academia #actually neurodiverse #actuallynd #academia

[sinkingwmyships]

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

#va purge au #fugio #pannacotta fugo #giorno giovanna #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #purge au #jjba au #jojo part 5 #vento aureo #golden wind #tw abuse #tw homophobia #tw bullying #writeblr #tumblr writer #writer on tumblr #sinkingwmyaus #dadbacchio #giorson

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

But how am i coping?

I Just keeping thinking about how that boss running the magazine.. I thought he followed me outside. And started running before i saw him Then i twisted my ankle jumping over a rain puddle...

I was too scared and was running too fast and the puddle was almost too big and my heart condition... Running top speed of an antelope in a random direction in NYC isn't the best idea.

So I circled the park, trying not to limp. Then he watched the whole time but i was scared to walk back towards the bus... Like he would stop me. So i walked 2 blocks straight parallel to the bus.. So i walked/ran a u shape around the park. And rode the subway.

It was an express and way faster. Still when i got home...

Y'all know ESP. So Marc Antony saw every thing.

That's why In white girl they had shown him at the store directly below and 2 building over from my home.

He carried me and the beer home. I didn't say anything. He just waited after he bought his 3 packages of aspirin for me while i bought my package. The clerk asked "do you have to be carded"

"Hey yo she's with me. So no. No don't worry about it baby. Mamacita. Just pay."

I wish... Not like he would carry me home or anything, I thought, but he might be a good distraction for the pain... Before the hops only beer started working. He was so intense. It was so attracted to me. Here i was hurt because of some one just as likely intense but he was softer with more a magnitude of the Earth surface on my mind when i saw him.

"Shorty come on baby. Lets go outside and I'll take care of this"

Huh? "You took my beer" was i wrong? Was i just going crazy? Was i just missing my friends back home? He was so comforting to me and eccentric he had to have known me.

"Look little Mamacita you don't know me but I own nothing, come in my little baby. I'll get you outta here"

I was asleep. I wasn't for sure he was the one whose parents i got killed. But he was from home. And i saw Miss Harriet Tubman's trailer and i looked down to a little boy and had said almost the exact thing.

He was either a bad guy trying to edge in on me or he was that little boy.

He carried me up 3 flight of stairs and rang the buzzer. Took his white t-shirt and ripped it up and wrapped my ankle.

"That's why you always gotta wear two just in case of an accident"

"Jethro?"

"Yeah Mamacita it's alright now i got you"

In the movie poster photograph of White Girls recorded by ghosts/tree you can barely see my ankle and foot are wrapped if you look past his body.

...

And that's how i been coping.

Not the whole story.

But points,ABC.

I fell alone

He was there

Then he carried me

And took care of me.

That and I see photographs in my mind.

That's how I been coping.

..... ....

Now in the movie the scene is a party but they start making fun of black people and saying how they like being Latino over nigger. How niggers are dumb and probably should all die like the holocaust. So he says to everyone. To see what they say. But I was disturbed. I seen people die in front of me for trying to save them. And I was furious. And sad and all kinds.

Marc just got up and left because he was gonna beat up his friend for talking in front of me like that. So he was gonna smoke 1 cigarette out side, cool down then come back in.

When the door opened an air cleansing breeze came into the stillfilling apartment that was suffocating with hate and indecency.

So that's why the camera caught me giving the middle finger and going up after him.

He thought it was his friend "i just wanna be alone.,your not impressing anyone?"

"The red head? I'll just go and explain"

"NO YOU WONT!" he stood. It was a command from the chest

It is Jethro i thought... "Jethro i mean we could"

"Nah come here Mamacita... Come here baby"

"No yoh want to,be alone it's ok"

"No not alone baby. I with you.." He kinda stumbled..

I felt good that i came up...,

So then it goes to the movie. That part had been cut out.

So for this same exact time frame is 7 movies all cut and showing different parts and views to make it different.

This one shows my strong side. My autistic side.

All those autistic type moments and what they led to.

It just showed me and not so much him. It was more me disobeying him than anything.

Like he kept telling me not to do coke. But I,always felt like getting proof was more important than safety. I had to know someone was,bad

So instead of being raped -- because I didn't reject him by refusing his coke -- Marc told me get on,my knees.

So all that shit I did he told me not to. But I did. It just tempted me every time he said no.

I hadn't even thought about that shit and had he not told me not to. I wouldn't had

I guess i just really had to check he was there for me.

That 24k? We stole it back...

But he went to my boss and asked to get,me out of,that situation. They said if she quits we won't pay.

"What if she goes to school?"

"We won't pay but she can quit work. If that is what it means to you. But we need to talk to her"

Saturday, "come on shortie you gotta go talk to them. Let's go get this over with"

"But I'm fine. I'm being safer i am i Promise!!"

"SHORTIE! SHOES!"

"Alright I'm coming" i laughed "no saying no to you is there?" I teased him. Because I started listening more... This is before he went to jail.

I told his lawyer i worked but i did. Only 1 day a week when the boss was most hungover. So he would leave me alone. I had to work 7 hours to keep my cover and be paid. So I could do both. I got full time pay because the trauma and danger.

So the lawyer they recorded as Chris Noth as the actor. Its his family. It was his Uncle.

So he got arrested cause he had to check in. His boss was undercover in a jail cell. They didn't wanna let him out because our relationship was too intimate.

Turns out a pro bono lawyer could just stood there and he would been released just cause what I did to ask for money.

So the uncle,was killed when Marc Antony got out.

He went back in cause saint Luches was starting rumors that i was in danger because Marc took advantage of me. So saint Luches started going through my window. The first night. I kicked him out.

Second night, Marc Antony was hiding in my room. And I knew. And so Marc Antony beat him.

So there's a whole,movie,about saint Luches side.

He,was,definitely a Montague and not a Capulet.

The cocaine I snorted in the movie wasn't. I get migraines m so it was BC ASPIRIN POWDER. Still available today. Snorting was like a spring breath

That's why I OD on the 24k night. Theirs was only 12% uncut.

I had only been taking aspirin. Didn't realize what they had. Just stressed and autistic from fear m realizing I had no one while he was I jail.

So it's a good movie but it's fast paced. So you don't,get,all,the reality of the life it took random chapters from.

I'll see if i can find the Ying to the yang of White girl. If i do I'll help youmatch it

But yeah.

He told me to,get,to,the subways that night and then took,care of me

That is how i cope. Right now. Just remembering.

So a lot of y'all got movies too in Yoir DNA4U to study with 96% so,realize you need to remember the baxk story.

But the points a to b to c which are most important can be easily found.

Like we didn't just have sex. I knew he was Jethro... Not the boy who parents i felt responsible for their death on... Although he was and he knew and he would Jist say "no Mamacita Jethro. That part of me isn't imlir (important) any more"

He was grown up. Raised by Harriet Tubman herself. Where i took him to be safe while i took off for Iraq.

🌠💘💎💎💎