#this is why i need to learn how to code

[front-facing-pokemon]

#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this #also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background… #and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids #in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game #the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who #really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks #phantump #HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all #and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible #and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images #i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha #i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said #“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this #and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that #once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine #i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a #script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the #queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them #then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses #because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here #just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially #made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is) #so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened #i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now

[khaopybara]

Eu tô pensando em você, fumando um cigarro Numa banheira vazia, em um hotel caro Sinceramente, eu tô cansado Se foi você que errou, por quê que eu me sinto culpado?

I'm thinking about you, smoking a cigarrete In an empty bathtub, in an expensive hotel Sincerely, I'm tired If you're the one in the wrong, why do I feel guilty?

FIRST KANAPHAN as SAND and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as RAY PAKORN in ONLY FRIENDS. Hotel Caro (feat. Luiza Sonza), Bacu Exu do Blues

#only friends the series #ofts #sandray #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #ray pakorn #ofts sand #gmmtv bl #thai bl #:: mygifs! #i've been wanting to do this since i learned how to gif #because this song is literally sandray's #so many bacu exu do blues songs are sandray coded #but #they never looked okay #i'm only posting this one bc it's not one that i immediately hated as i was making it #clearly i'm not good at it #the blending here is the one i disliked the least from all my attempts #i felt like if i didn't move on from this i would never make progress #that's it #no one really cares i just need bibs from the future to know why this sucks

[puppyeared]

I CANT USE CSS ON ARTFIGHT...............

#I WAS REALLY HOPING TO FIX THE FUCKING. PARAGRAPH WIDTH. SIGH #idk why but it stretches across the ENTIRE page like. it takes up the full width of the browser and it BOTHERS ME. ON ALL THE PAGES #i could try manually putting shift breaks but im worried it might not look so good on mobile. ugghh... auyggghhh..... #im already learning CSS and API so i thought i could put it to good use but. AUGH #this whole time ive had to go into the inspect panel myself and change the padding so i dont have to read the length of the screen #like a fucking typewriter... i would have also loved to use custom fonts and animations...... #i did find a guide for BBCode which the site uses on default and it covers basic styling but its not the same. sniffle #you CAN unlock CSS if you donate $25 to the page which seems fair. and if i could do it i would but. i do not have any way of #sending or receiving money online </3 i really need to figure out how to do that so i can set up comms like i said i would last summer #but it intimidates me.... and im already kept on a short leash when it comes to that so it feels like a lot of things could go wrong #i think toyhouse allows CSS or some sort of code...?? i remember seeing some oc pages with custom layouts #if thats the case i'll try fiddling with it but im not very familiar with using toyhouse so thatll take a while #(thanks again for the code sal ^_^ ill put it on my pin once its ready but im trying to learn my way around the site heh ;;) #at least i can use my pixel dividers.. ive been digging around for pixels to use and found some really cute ones #yapping

[spamtoon]

i would take their poison

Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)

#moshi monsters #sweet tooth moshi monsters #experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads. #next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im #i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning #and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences #for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m #it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force #maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too #uhh. first digital piece posted... ever? #the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam #yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it. #cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like #i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors #yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly #especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know #im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively! #anyway. sweet toof #though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO #note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to #gamble on what size it was while changing it #sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm) #yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS

[giftedpoison]

i started school again recently after taking a really long break to figure my shit out.

and my first assignment literally has me emailing the teacher because it feels like she's asking us to divulge trauma on a discussion board post for our peers to consume.

and that feels weird. and i'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt by emailing her to get more explanation about the assignment. but am excruciatingly terrified i'm gonna make an enemy out of her by mistake during my first week.

(also for context I'm taking an Intro to Literature course. No idea how that connects)

#the discussion post is called understanding humanity #and she gives us an npr snippet about codeswitching and asks us to discuss a time when we felt excluded or left out and why #like codeswitching itself is a trauma response #so i can't imagine why she'd think discussing why we felt excluded by our peers in the past wouldn't be us divulging trauma #its like thinking masking by autistic people isn't a detrimental trauma response like #and like I could talk about how I was bullied for being autistic and I had to learn how to mask when i was in elementary school but #no one fucking needs to know that about me like???? #and i guess its a way to empathize with the black experience of code switching but like??

[fourteenthz]

Changes for wip roundup? 👀

anna!! sorry for taking so long answering this one as well!! but thank you SO MUCH for indulging my wolcred propaganda! <3

And lright this one is a MESS. I wrote it right when I was playing endwalker and I was really overwhelmed with the story™ that I made  mess of this wip so like for the last few months or so I’ve been working on rewriting everything lol so I’ll give you some of my thoughts abt it and a small snippet since I can’t get anything more substantial that I’m satisfied with lol

wip roundup :)

This fic is like following right after the scions are back from the moon. I was overwhelmed with the fact that the WOL didn’t have much saying with the twins and how Fourchenault reacted to them. I was like, yeah, she’s proud of them. They deserve to know that, but also, I’m not sure she would be brave enough to do so. So well this fic starts with me realizing like “alright, thancred would get it. better than anyone” so the first part follows him seeing how she reacts to everything that’s happening with the WOL and making the connections like how he felt about ryne, etc etc

But of course,,, my excuse for this fic was Thesa’s haircut first and foremost. Basically I hc Azem to have insane long hair, and Thesa always had longer hair, and this is like the first time she cut it out and it’s incredibly short. Basically the second part goes from her having a bit of breakdown seeing the moon burning + overthinking about that image of hythlo she saw on the moon and everything that happened there and going “I need new. The final days can’t happen again, things gotta change NOW.” Until she interrupts my Alisaie like knocking on the door which is like the cannon visiting for her during that quest!!

And ofc Alie changes her mind a bit… but she still gets that feeling so this is SO SPECIFIC but like you know the whole “wrapping the red thing around your thinger so you don’t forget?” She does it with a strand of hair, just a reminder (things he has lost etc etc) and chops everything off. But then, ofc, the beginning alone isn’t enough for me so the last part is Thancred’s reaction to it, since I like to think they spend their nights together whenever they can and they DEFINITELY would want to on this one night. There is a bit of that part before any rewriting lol:

A knock on door cut off any other conclusion that Thesa would have come with. She hadn't heard footsteps down the hallway, and the beat was too light to be anyone else — though she doubted many others besides Alisaie would be awake and willing to visit after a day like this. So she calls his name lightly as she walks to the door, and from the suppressed laugh, she was sure.

“It's me.” Thancred’s voice is softer beyond the closed door. She finally quickened her pace to unlock it when he laughed again. “I hope you didn't have to crawl under the covers to-”

From the look he had on his eyes, Thancred seemed to have specific intentions for the visit. However, as soon as she appeared from behind the door and their eyes finally met, the hyur could have sworn that all the thoughts he had — along with all the rehearsed words he had cooked up - slipped his mind.

Thesa freezes for a second too, unsure how to react. Maybe she would explain later, but for some reason, she waited for his reaction to continue.

Thancred seemed entranced for a second as a smile seemed to bump into his face, and then, he made the greatest effort to move; forcing his hand up until he finally reached the messy strands. His right hand stops to her left side, with his thumb behind his ear so he could feel each of the threads between his fingers — clenching his fist to lightly pull them and feel them falling off before repeating the same thing but resting his palm next to her face.

“By the twelve.” He says in a sigh, slightly embarrassed to clearly see the situation they were in as his left hand reached for the longer loose strand and curled it around his fingers before resting his hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheeks, and finally confessing, exactly, the same conclusion of hers. “Perfect.”

He looked at her with different eyes than First and even more different than Walking Sands. Eyes that stretched far farther than he had previously seen — and yet, without missing all the admiration and affection he had always carried. Maybe slightly more, even.

"For a second I didn't recognize you," he smiled, tugging lightly on the strand with a teasing smile, which soon turned into a relieved sigh when he tilted his head to the side, finally meeting her eyes again. "But there she is."

#it just feels ooc for some of them and I don't like how I did some of the exposition so yeah rewriting it. I just need to get in the right #headspace to finish it lol those more canon ones makes me anxious to finish for NO REASON other than my girl deserves the best. so yeah. #ALSO fun fact I feel like I need to share: this fic is only something bc I was frantically doodling on my sketchbook after finishing that #quest. i have the date here lol 3/3/22 (not that long ago ik) but yeah i end up with thumbnail for this little comic #with a BUNCH of notes around it. its kinda overly angsty bc i was feeling like thag at the time bc HYTHLO's “Don't you agree hades?” OR WTV #the notes summarizes to 'but then it does not matter if you hair feels lighter because you have their images engraved in #your mind and you do not have the strength to cut those off so all you do is ask /what now/ but haven't you learned? images can't talk' #and the progression of the coming is her cutting her head and the panels kinda move like a camera to finalize focusing on her back staring #at a mirror reflection the image of emet (black robs + hole in his chest) and the image of hythlo she has for now (from the moon cutscene) #so yeah...... maybe it all started with my hythazemet brainrot and then the fic was too much on alisaie and thancred so i had trouble #idk findinh middle ground with what I wanted ?? but yeah... I'm someday finish rewriting it THIS IS NOT my best exposure of my wolcred work #u guys I'm gonna be honest.... but it's mostly bc i love writinh them being sooo independent so it makes sense when i play and i forget #they are important to my cannon for her lol xiv is just so love coded. all the kinds of love. and i love them all so much its A LOT BUT YEAH #ill stop rambling now LMFAO sorry for this anna but yeah this is my excuse to why thesa will never have 100% short hair #I'll always pick the short + braids hair which is why: 1. im happy the pvp hair is available for viera now and 2. im SO HAPPY with the new #7.0 hairs... there's one there that OOOOH BOY... I WANT THAT. if it fits her it's giving dawntrail :) if it doesn't welp pvp hair it is #but again YEAH THATS IT SORRY FOR TAKING EXTRA LONG I was going through like 3 sketchbooks back to search for this sketch comic lmao #and also... writing this whole essay why can i never be concise man... ANYWAH KDJFJDJDJD TY AGAIN ANNA!! #I'm always here for wolcred on wolcred action ❤️ #ask game #ask #kelly says #my writing #myreia

[twilightarcade]

spins around

#wordstag #WHY AR EGRYE BEING SO ??? ANOUT TAGS #LITTLE PURBLE POPUP TELLLING ME TO HELP MORE POEPLE SEE MY POST.. TBATAS WHAT I DONT WANT #umm we're just saying things here #I love bunniesnwiht little x's as their nose mouth (???????? Ykyk) that thing>> #with like little dot eyes. Like • x • <- THOSE CRETYRES #writhing is pretty fun when I'm not writing for any purbose like yeha get on paper loser #like reagsing some of it back it si utterly terrible but like hwtaver I was havjng fun that's all that counts #thers lots of little like.. scenes? partially completed #I still need to wirk out this lists for fish thing>>> but I didnt wanr to tear up the entire code ant it got iffy after a bit #may keepd the orivunal fish lisy then conpile it??? #still need to actually write for it.. but thats clarly a problem for the far future #main problem wirh writing it is actialt like. Writihg them good. I don't want to be aminal crossing nh>> #twirling them arounf in my brain.. theyll be released from console hell soon enoigg #which was honestly a bad idea to begin iwhr but yk. I'll play it off like a good one #jsut readlly didnt want to learn anyt h jg else so I DIDNT #I dont knwi how much fish sell for actually #nor does the currency have any real. translation systen #arbitrary values arbitrary names.. #such is the way of the world or somenring.

[fluffypotatey]

Merlin unintentionally making the SotRT his junior spy squad because he's gotten used to looking for the telltales of a lie and noting the little red ribbons of the subtle compared to the outright red flags of the blatant and passing unnoticed and getting into places, and with usual Merlin Logic, he's like, "Yes, these are very helpful life skills to be passed onto small children," which, yeah, okay, they are, but c'mon man.

Which is how Lancelot finds Beddy Boy trying to jimmy a cabinet open with a hairpin when he's supposed to be at sword training, what in hells are you doing, boy, well, see, Sir Merlin locked my practice sword in this cupboard and I have to get it out myself, it's harder than Andred makes it look, don't worry, I'll get it.

Lancelot:

And here we have Sir Lancelot being the reluctant (on the surface) knight who teaches the squires street smarts because Merlin decided that this was normal and he the friend who will follow through with even the outlandish plans.

Leon: Lancelot, have you seen Lucan? He was late to our training over-

Lancelot, showing Lucan how to forge a note: Now see, the trick here is to start at the bottom and let your wrist stay loose.

Lucan, full of concentration: Right

Leon, feeling the immediate need to take a nap: Nevermind

Lancelot is doing a great job at keep the squires well-trained. Merlin and him plan on what things to teach them as well because just knowing combat is not enough for the squires to live/survive at Camelot. Gwaine also joins in because he thinks it'll be funny, and Beddy's been a sheltered kid long enough. He should commit a little crime, just for the experience.

#yes yes lancelot was not okay when merlin forged his seal in s1 but that was s1 AND lancelot had lived as a freelance knight of sorts #with percival before the s3 finale so who's to say the man didn't learn how to properly forge a note w/o magic #why did lucan need to know? mind ya business #also i am a firm believer in encouraging beddy to do crimes and be gay #arthur is horrified when beddy gives him a story about how gwaine taught him how to pickpocket but beddy avoids any lecturing #because he gives arthur his 'i am too innocent and pure for this world and gwaine would never actually make me commit crimes' face #arthur falls for it (of course) and just tells him to be careful and remember his code; feirefiz is impressed and takes notes #squires of the round table #bbc merlin #knights of the round table #lancelot #sir lancelot #headcanons

[ohhgingersnaps]

i'm considering starting up my bullet journal again solely to track how often i am crying at work and i've gotta say that's not a great sign

#the real issue here is that i need to learn how to take criticism less personally i think #but dang if it isn't frustrating to keep having people tell me i'm doing a mediocre job and 'you can do better' (meant kindly) and like #do you realize WHY i'm doing a mediocre job? #it's because i (one person) am being told to do like five people's jobs at once #yes the announcement could have been written better! it WOULD have been if i hadn't also been managing regressions and the release and #customer support and social media and graphic design and webinars and the website and grant writing and licensing and coding and and and!! #if you hadn't given me three days to do something i told you i needed a week to do!! do you understand??? anyway #negative #delete later #venting

[pallases]

holyyy shit

#personal #the physics chronicles #pretty sure that’s the worst ive ever done on an exam. damn #still higher than what i was prepared to get though. and im going to start cramming videos into my schedule from here on out i think. and #actually doing the homework although i don’t know how much help that will be bc what was on that exam was nothing at all like any of the hw #it was like the labs which if i had thought our exams would be testing us on lab material i would have studied that instead of staying up #until 4 am covering entirely unrelated content 😐 but whatever live and learn i guess #should also probably start attending the tutoring center for it but idk what i’d do there it’s not help on specific problems that i need #it’s a better understanding of how to approach any problem and the foundational knowledge etc etc like i need one of those extra sections #where it’s a student who’s taken the class before talking to you for an hour or so and giving collaboration exercises etc why did they have #that for chemistry and coding but not physics 😐

[toytulini]

wish the little listicles and articles reccomending google alternatives didnt like, mention ios. like no offense but do you think i dont know what an iphone is. you think im looking into google alternatives but i dont know that apple exists? you really think that? if i was going to buy a fucking apple product id already be doing that?

#toy txt post #I think id rather try to brute force my brain to learn fuckinf. idk. coding shit than fuck w apple #idc they say theyre better about privacy lol i dont trust them either #also like lol better about privacy but they out here pioneering in the field of planned obsolescence and im not fucking with that OS sorry #i simply cannot #idk its just like. the article be like 5 NON GOOGLE GPS OPTIONS and i get all excited and its loke heres 4 kind of mediocre pain in the ass #obscure things you can try that require some sort of technical skill to install and have less convenient updated features than google. and #also apple maps. sorry have you heard about The Iphone(tm)? just making sure youre aware of one of the biggest non google tech companies #in case you somehow missed it?? #like. sorry. what?? #anyway. i really hope this goes without saying but this is Not the post for you to rave about How Cool Apple Is and How Much You Love Your #Apple Products and Why I Should Switch To Apple! good for you glad you like your shit make your own post and fuck off! #argh #anyway. currently thinkjng about l #buying another s7 off amazon and 1) making sure it works w my sim card before i do anything 2) fucking around and finding out #w one of those alternative OSs like uhhhh iodé or whatever on either the new s7 OR. my old one. idk. want to see if i can do it and make it #work. im sure itll be a huge pain in the ass and ill freak out and give up partway through or smth #need to look into how that interacts w like? my ohine service if at all? #also want to look into uhhh #trying to reinstall old versions of the samsung camera and gallery/photo editor apps on my newer device maybe just to see if i can pull it #off and have like a fully updated OS without switching to a camera i hate #and it would be cool to have whatever version of the photo editor pro i have on my s7 on my other devices cos it lets me do things i cant do #on these

[wibbley-wobble]

HOLY SHIT THEY MADE DARYL A PIG

#they did him and rosita so dirty Daryl Dixon would never join a police state #I mean I get why Daryl pre zombie was a redneck with no long term profession who sorta thrives in apocalyptic setting #but also daryl has experience with motorcycles & presumably automobiles. and the commonwealth has to have live stock but a Hunter would be #handy. like idk Daryl has potential not cop options. #rosita I don’t think mentions any career just how she learned from her boyfriends with specific skills. so her unemployed ass needed a job #& she’s basically military #I can’t actually imagine rick being one of the storm troopers despite being a cop #ricks bit is that he’s kind of a good person and being a small town sheriff/cop is tv code for being one of the good ones #wait also Daryl’s bit is that he’s kind of a good person!!! whatever cop Daryl is out of character. acab #not too far into s11 but I think it’s cute carol is still so inlove with a man that she’s doing a politician’s dirty work. slay! #carol Heisenberg AU #the walking dead #twd #daryl dixon #doing something crazy because I want the girlies to see this post and no one else knows how to tag in this fandom #twd daryl #daryl x reader #the walking dead season 11

[ro0mbadump]

coding at 2 am in the morning i am notmal i am fine i am okay

#whys this kinda fun im ngl.... #but also i desperately need help rn #girl help im good at coding so i didnt study the whole semester and now i have to learn something new #but i never learnt how to learn and practice coding so now i am a dead fish <3 #weee

[scientia-rex]

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

[somehowmags]

i’ve seen a lot of posts talking about nimona’s queer messages which is great! but ive not seen as many posts talking analyzing how both ballister and ambrosius were changed to be asian, which is a shame because i genuinely think its one of the most important parts of the film! a huge part of it is a deconstruction of the model minority myth and respectability politics, both of which are big issues in the asian american community. both of them represent each side of the spectrum, with ambrosius expected to be superhuman with very little support and ballister being seen as less than human, no matter how hard he tries- a monster.

ambrosius (who is now east asian, like his voice actor eugene lee yang, who is korean with chinese and japanese ancestry), despite being in a seemingly powerful position as head of the knights and a descendant of gloreth, he isn’t really given the kind of support that this position needs- he’s constantly undermined and belittled by todd, the face of the other knights, and when asked about his emotional state by the director, represses his emotions rather than talk to her about his true feelings. this is very similar to how asian american students in schools aren’t given the support they need academically by teachers and administration, as the model minority myth leads to them being perceived as more intelligent and competent than their fellow students and therefore not needing support. he’s also held to a higher standard than any of the other knights, being immediately placed into a position of power despite just being knighted, again a reflection of the model minority myth, since asian americans are held to higher standards unfairly. despite being technically better off than ballister, he has no support, no friends, no way to seek help for his problems, and, just like ballister, is immediately thrown away the moment the director thinks he’s served his use.

ballister is now pakistani, like his voice actor riz ahmed (no, not like pedro pascal. where did this come from lol), and i’d go as far as to say that he is also, if not explicitly muslim, heavily muslim coded as well. he’s framed as a terrorist by the white, christian institution, and from then on, it doesn’t matter how good he tries to be- everyone else sees him as a monster. he’s also from a lower socioeconomic class than ambrosius and the rest of the knights- while this is initially used to frame him as a success story, after he’s framed, it’s used to cast suspicion on him. almost immediately he’s othered, with posters casting him as a foreign invader sent to destabilize the city, much in the same way that muslim immigrants are seen in real life. even when he tries to be peaceful and good, it’s always twisted so that he’s the monster of the story. while ambrosius is held to too high of a standard, ballister will never be enough for the institution to accept.

which is why both of their arcs culminate in them breaking out of the system, learning to accept what they’d been taught was monstrous, and leaving behind respectability. it’s a genuinely great commentary, and i can definitely see why riz ahmed and eugene lee yang were chosen for this, as they’ve both done activist work for their communities.

#nimona #chatters #another analysis post i made at two am and then put in my drafts and forgot about LMAO #anyways i forgot to actually write a conclusion but shut up this isn't school i don't have to conclude SHIT #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

#answers to asks #illustration #art advice #art help #drawing #digital art