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#this is why I haven’t answered asks or messages in a while I’m truly sorry.
stariikis · 2 months
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𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩
synopsis ; going off my older fic engraving on my wrist , jungwon is late for a 'date', but you don't suspect the underlying reason behind his tardiness.
pairing ; idol!jungwon x trainee!reader genre ; fluff, situationship, getting together, oneshot wc ; 834
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You’re not very sure why Jungwon would ask you out to a nearby café just to be thirty minutes late and leave you waiting. But you trust the process. 
Is it too late to cancel the ‘date’, and go back to the company? You’re growing incredibly sick of the countless camera flashes directed your way. Of teenage girls, fluorescent bangle bracelets adorning their wrists and idol photocards clasped to their school-bags, coming up and asking for your signature. Is Jungwon late or is he not coming? 
Your frantic messages go unread even when you check your phone for the millionth time. It’s not very ideal in the situation, but your mind starts to go into a frenzy. What if something happened to Jungwon? What if it’s my fault, what if I did something wrong? But I can’t have, can I, if I’m just sitting here waiting for a date? 
A date. You almost laugh out loud. What are you even thinking? He still hasn’t asked you out and here you are, foolishly believing it’s a date. 
Date, date, date… it’s all Jungwon’s fans can think about. Because of their influence, it’s all you can think about too. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel guilty when the thought of Jungwon taking you out crosses your mind, though. It’s like you’re desperate, or something. The beginning of a scowl prods at your lips – at fourteen, you vowed never to be the desperate one, after comforting your best friend through a difficult break-up. 
Sneaking a glance down at his initials on your wrist, you start to contemplate getting up and going for dance practice with your trainee friends instead. Oh, the scolding you’ll give Jungwon when he finally answers your texts… he’s going to wish he never even said hello to you, that first day when you showed up to the company, freshly fifteen. What kind of stupid reason for being tardy will he give this time, you wonder? 
Just as you’ve given up on waiting for him and started to get ready to leave, thunder rumbles loudly outside. Whipping your head around to check the only window in the quaint café, your heart sinks. Raindrops strike the clouded glass, each one a representation of the shards of panic stabbing you. 
How are you going to leave now? You’re never going to listen to the morning radio’s weather forecasts anymore. Next time, you’ll be guaranteed to bring a damn umbrella around. This day isn’t going very well for you, is it? 
While you’re sulking, slumped over your table-for-two hopelessly, you don’t notice Jungwon bursting through the door and coming up to you. He is completely drenched from head to toe, brown cotton trench coat not doing much to block out the rain. A small puddle of wetness forms on your shirt as he taps your shoulder. 
“Sorry,” he says sheepishly when you turn your head in confusion. “The line at the bakery was super long.” 
You blink at him, dumbfounded, as he hands you a huge plastic bag with assorted breads. A couple beads of rain drip down the sides. 
“I’m really craving bread,” you whine, flopping down onto the wooden ground during one of your breaks. Jungwon pulls the beanie off his head and sits down beside you with a tiny grunt. 
“Bread? That’s a really weird craving,” he teases you, craning his neck to seek agreement from Sunoo and Riki, who’ve joined you that day for dance practice. They simultaneously glare daggers at Jungwon as if saying they don’t want to get involved, and so Jungwon turns his attention back to you. “What kind of bread, though?” 
Is what he asks innocently, as if he hasn’t just taunted you for wanting to eat it. 
“The one with strawberry paste inside. I haven’t tried it myself, but I heard it’s super go-” 
“IT REALLY IS SUPER GOOD!” Sunoo slides over and interrupts, truly the foodie of his group. “You should try the blueberry paste one too! And the new one where they put raspberry bits into the dough…” 
You snap out of the memory and unwrap the plastic bag, checking what’s inside. Sunoo’s list of recommendations are all inside, and some extras that Jungwon knows are your favourites. It’s so out of the blue and sweet of him that it makes you laugh. 
“This is why you’re late, isn’t it?” You mutter, feigning annoyance. 
He looks down at his shoes, looking ashamed. “Maybe. Sorry if they’re soggy. I didn’t have an umbrella because I believed the stupid weather forecast this morning.” And he looks utterly dejected about it.
How cute. 
“It’s okay,” you pull him into a gentle hug, patting his back soothingly. “It’s the thought that counts.” 
Take that, delusionalists in the crowd here. Jungwon is mine! 
“But…” Jungwon moves his head closer to your ear, and you get the eerie feeling something is coming. You’re proved correct as he hesitates, then whispers lowly, “but now how am I going to properly ask you out?” 
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thanks for reading! if there are any other tropes or members you want me to write about you can send in an ask or comment here~ i'm very bored so i'll write pretty much anything sfw
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mazeinthemoon · 9 months
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txt leaving a post breakup voicemail.
txt x gn!reader; headcanon, angst; pt 2
who knew a singular voicemail can bring tears into your eyes, especially from someone in particular, who is meant to be left in the past.
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leave a message after the tone …
beeeeeep
choi yeonjun
hey.. i know it’s been a while, and i’m really sorry it’s taken me this long to reach out. but i miss you, darling. i can’t sleep without you, i c-can’t eat without you. everything feels so.. gray when you’re not around. and i know, i know i fucked up, yn. i shouldn’t have treated you like i did. you were only there to make me feel happy and support me, and i threw it all away because i wasn’t thinking properly. i’m sorry, i truly am. p-please call me back, yeah? please..
choi soobin
beomgyu told me he saw you out with this new guy. i’m happy for you, i truly am. but the pain in my chest tells me otherwise and i can’t let it go. i told you i moved on, but that was a lie. and i’m so stupid for saying it because i truly lost you haven’t i? i know there’s nothing i can say to have you come back to me, but just know i love you. i’m always rooting for you, too. and if you’re happy with someone else then i’m happy too. take care of yourself for me..
choi beomgyu
so.. you really weren’t kidding when you said we were over, huh? fuck yn.. i’m sorry. i really am. i try so fucking hard to be home and i-i.. pauses for a moment p-please come back. you’re my world, honey. i know my job takes everything out of me, but can we at least talk about this? i can ask for more days off or something, ask to sleep over at your place more o-often. just please come back s-so i can hold you and tell you its gonna be okay.. i don’t want us to end like this
kang taehyun
i walked by your work today. i wanted to go in and say hi to you like i usually did.. but i stopped because you know.. sighs over the phone you’re probably tired of hearing my voicemails. i would be, too. but i think.. i think this is the last one. it pains me to see you happy without me, but i need to learn to let go. you’re better off without me, and as long as you find peace, that’s all that should matter i-isn’t it? i love you.. so much. please always be happy, my love
huening kai
sniffles soobin-hyung t-told me to call you. i don’t understand why because i know y-you’ll never answer me.. i just want to know where we went wrong. you j-just.. sniffles again please yn, please come home. i don’t understand how you can just walk away from us like i m-meant nothing to you.. i love you so fucking much. don’t you feel the same way too? i just want an explanation, p-please.. what did i do wrong? i just want to know so i can fix it and be happy with you again
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part two
note: feeling angstyyy
taglist: [perm] @soobin-chois @run2seob @taedeco @bangchansbae @beommiecore @huckleberrykai @fairy-of-sugar [txt] @ghouerry @loveradhikabloggerworld @iluvsoobinsblog @hearts4csb @subbyjvnnie
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jinkicake · 1 year
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Duty Calls
Lucifer calls you into his office for some much-needed stress relief.
Lucifer x Reader (afab!reader)
A/N: this is a combo of smuts that i stuck together to make one giant lucifer smut... anything for my demon!!! i also have genshin smut i want to post butttt i’ll do that tmr #lucicomesfirst
SMUT // NSFWW
WC - 1.5k
~~~
‘I need to see you. Come to my room now.’
Lucifer’s simple text message comes at an odd time and leaves no room for any refusal. Upon receiving the request, you nearly drop your phone in shock. 
“Fuck me,” You whine and throw your covers to the side in a rush as you get out of bed. Why is Lucifer requesting an audience with you now? Since the last time you were scolded, a mere three months ago, you haven’t failed any tests or broken any of his house rules. What could he possibly have to talk to you about that required such a serious message? 
The short trek toward the demon’s bedroom takes longer than usual as you brace yourself with each step that you take. In your mind, you try to run every possibility of Lucifer’s scoldings and how you can avoid his severe punishments. You truly don’t think that you have it in you to sit through another one of his hour-long lectures. 
There isn’t even an opportunity for you to wait outside his bedroom door, to take an extra breather, because the door is wide open. Lucifer doesn’t even have to turn around from where he is seated at his desk to know that you are there. 
“Come in and shut the door.” His deep voice calms your racing heart down a little as you step inside and quietly shut the thick wooden door. “Lock it.” With shaky fingers, you do as he asks. “Sit,” Wordlessly, you move to sit on the edge of his bed. The soft duvet could make you cry as you fist the material with your fingers. 
You wish you could lay down and relax on his bed. If Lucifer wants to scold you about something, you might have to remind him of how you were just sleeping soundly in his bed this morning. 
While Lucifer finishes up with the paper he is working on and jots his last thoughts down, you let your eyes drag along the walls of his room. The dark walls soon bore you as your eyes retire to his broad back. You watch with a certain eagerness in your eyes, nearly squirming in your spot while staring at the strong plain of his shoulders. He’s gorgeous, you can’t deny that. 
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Lucifer finally places his pen down and roughly pulls you away from your thoughts as he stands up from his desk. When his eyes land on your nervous figure, he frowns. “don’t look so frightened, dear.” He sighs quietly and crosses his arms over his large chest, standing completely still as he looks over you. “You have very fond memories in this room, don’t you?” 
Oh, he’s right. If Lucifer were to be punishing you for something, he would have chosen to scold you in his office. He rarely carries over work into his bedroom except for the occasional light reading of paperwork. 
“Were you busy?” Lucifer sits down beside you, letting his thigh press into your own. The warmth of his body nearly causes you to shiver. “I understand that this is unexpected,” His hand gently cups your bicep before moving up your shoulder, lightly trailing your skin with light touches. He pushes your hair out of his way before lowering his face to your neck. 
You shake your head to answer his question out of fear that your voice will fail you. Lucifer smirks before placing a soft kiss on your throat and tightening his grip on your shoulder when your breath hitches. 
“You won’t mind helping me out with something, correct?” His lips press continuous kisses onto your skin, leading a trail up your jaw to behind your ear. With each audible sound, your body grows weaker and weaker until you’re just about leaning entirely into his touch. 
“I’ll help with anything,” You whisper, afraid to break the spell he has on you. Lucifer’s hand glides down to your back and rests firmly between your shoulder blades. 
“Good girl,” He murmurs into your ear and makes a point to lick underneath your jaw, he’s entirely consumed by your presence. “I need your help.” The plea, as subtle as it is, makes your eyes widen in shock. 
“With what?”
“You know exactly what,” Lucifer nudges you back against his mattress and makes sure that you are splayed out for him against his duvet. “I need you, human.”
It doesn’t take long for you to realize just exactly what Lucifer needs. When he sets his mind on something, he makes a promise to deliver, and he always leaves you satisfied. 
“Luci-” You suck in a sharp breath, a pathetic moan falling from your lips as your head falls back against the lush pillows lining his bed. “Lucifer!” The older demon deeply moans at your cries and the sight of your exposed in front of him, nothing in all the realms could take him away from you right now. 
Lucifer continues to happily lap his tongue between your thighs, sweetly licking hard strips against your clit over and over again. Only when you’re starting to gush against his chin does he dip his tongue inside of you. His long, monster of a tongue reaches far deeper than any toy could. He plunges the appendage in and out between your tight walls, intently rubbing his nose against your clit to make you see stars. Lucifer searches for that spongey spot just past your entrance and he finds it with ease before his tongue starts to grind against that sweet spot. 
It’s wet, and messy, and shows just how desperate Lucifer can get for you. He needs this just as badly as you do. He aches when he’s not inside you, the only time he feels utter peace is when he’s eating you out until your thighs shake in overstimulation. 
The mere thought of getting you to cum sends him into quickening his movements. Lucifer sits up on the mattress, pressing your thighs to your chest and angling your hips up so he can shove his tongue even deeper inside of you. 
The combination of his angular nose rubbing against your swollen clit and his tongue stretching you open already has you squirming against the sheets. 
“Oh my-” You bite down on your tongue to hold back a whine, but ultimately let it out when Lucifer pinches your hip. “fuck, Lucifer!”
His animalistic groans against your cunt and the ferocity that has taken over him, driving him to pleasure you more and more until you cum, have you seeing stars. It’s not just his pleasurable motions, but the intensity that leaks off of him that makes you cum.
You finish hard on Lucifer’s tongue, bucking your hips against your face to drag out the orgasm for as long as possible. His nose rubs deliciously against your clit, stretching the feeling out from the pit of your stomach down to the tips of your toes. 
Lucifer slowly angles you back down against the mattress, placing your hips back onto the lush blankets instead of his firm shoulders. It’s only when you’re twitching flatly against the bed that he slowly retracts his tongue back into his mouth. 
The demon glances up at you and a small upward twitch appears in the corner of his lips as he takes in your ruined appearance. He drags his eyes back down between your thighs and a sharp inhale sends him right back down to your cunt. 
He parts you with his thick thumbs and licks from your entrance up to your clit. You’re still so sensitive that you shudder against him but, Lucifer pays no mind to it. He’s already gotten a taste of you, more of you now and he can’t simply pull himself away. 
It sends him back into another cycle of lapping his tongue against your pretty pussy, mouthing your wetness to devour it all. He’s loud and messy as sopping noises reach your ears and cause a blush to reach your cheeks. Lucifer has no intention of doing anything in a gentlemanly fashion, not tonight. 
He sucks and sucks until you’re lathered in his spit and when he’s finished, he sharply slaps his palm against your ass. 
“Mhm, my human,” Lucifer admires you from head to toe as he sits up between your thighs to place his forearms on either side of your head. His face has become so close to yours that you obediently part your lips for Lucifer to meet you in a kiss. 
He always makes you taste so good on his tongue, you moan and shift your hips at the warm feeling. Like everything he does with you, Lucifer puts his pride into kissing you. One of his hands tightly grips your hair to angle your head back while the other rests gently on your throat. He takes a sense of dominance when sucking on your tongue, letting the two muscles wrap around the other. 
It’s messy and dirty, much like all the things Lucifer does to you and what he has planned for the rest of the night. 
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mountsluvrr · 2 months
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Hi besties!
We’ve come to the end of the series, I would like to thank @saltyheartnightmare for motivating me to keep posting the chapters even after I thought people didn’t like it. I’m so glad that it’s over now because if I’m being honest I was so excited to post this and I think people got bored easily but thank you to the people that showed me the love and feedback. 🤍
LOVE GAME MASTERLIST
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LOVE GAME
C H A P T E R S I X
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Themes: Angst/Fluff
Pairing: Mason Mount x Reader
Word Count: 7.5k words
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—————————— M O U N T S L U V R R ——————————
Y/N concluded that she must have made the right choice. There was no other way. Another decision was simply not logical.
For the first time in her life, Georgia was truly stunned and could only stare at her sister in confusion. The only thing she had finally told her was: ‘If that's what you want.’
And Y/N told herself that was what she wanted.She had, therefore, prepared herself somewhat to appear at least passably normal.Ultimately, she felt so much safer wearing the hood, so she had done so. Sure, before the reactions.
She had no idea where Marcus lived, but she wanted to explain the situation to him personally. For this reason, she wrote him a message asking for a personal conversation while she was on her way to Mason.
As she got closer to her best friend's house, her heart automatically began to beat faster, which somehow made her doubt her decision. But she stuck with it and nervously pressed the bell sign shortly afterwards. Somehow she hoped that no one was at home because she would really like to avoid this conversation. But Mason opened the door a few seconds later and looked at Y/N in surprise.
‘Y/N,’ he quietly murmured her name and had to swallow when he saw her look. Her gaze was empty, she had dark circles that indicated the sleepless nights, but the worst: she did not smile.
‘Hey Mase,’ she answered him and put her hands in the pocket of her hoodie.
‘Do you want to come in?’ he asked almost frantically when he realised that he had only stared at her for a few seconds. But Y/N shook her head.
‘I don't want to prolong it unnecessarily, Mase,’ was the first part of her statement, which triggered a stabbing pain in him.
‘Okay,’ Mason only answered, crossing his arms protectively in front of his chest. He was already aware of what was coming, which is why he could get such a distance between Y/N and himself.
‘I think I'm happier alone at the moment,’ Y/N explained. ‘I just can't imagine anything with anyone at the moment, I'm sorry, Mase.’ Actually, she had already thought about what she wanted to tell him on the way. But at that moment everything was just gone. Her explanation, but also in her apology, could not even describe anything she wanted to tell Mason at that moment.
‘Okay,’ Mason replied again. He also obviously lacked the words to describe what was going through his head. ‘It's okay, Y/N.’ He nodded understandingly, even if he didn't really want to understand it. But he accepted it, even if it really broke his heart.
Y/N then left without another word. She could see him how much it had hurt him and she ate that inside.
Knowing that she had to break another person's heart, she ran back home without looking at her mobile phone.
Maybe she shouldnt have done that. At least the she would not have been quite so surprised by the fact that Marcus was already at her door. He had been worried because she hadn't been in touch for days. Accordingly, he had quickly set off when he had received Y/N’s message.
‘You didn't have to come here now. It was just when you’re free’ With these words, Y/N greeted Marcus, who smiled at her apologetically.
‘I'm sorry, I was probably a little bit keen seeing as I haven’t heard from you in days.’ He laughed softly and then shrugged his shoulders.
‘I have to tell you something,’ Y/N began and unlocked the front door.
On the contrary to Mason, Marcus did not know the overall situation, which is why Y/N found it fair to tell him everything. Well, not really everything - but at least the largest part. That's why she asked him in.
Fortunately, Georgia was not at home. She had left the house shortly after Y/N, which she would be quite happy about in retrospect. So she was spared a lot.
Y/N and Marcus had sat down in the kitchen when Y/N explained the situation to him. He listened attentively, nodded understandingly and at least didn't seem angry, not even when she finished things between them. But she knew that if she had told about the bet, he would not have remained so relaxed anymore.
‘So If I understand correctly that Mason lied to me and actually had feelings for you?’
Apparently, this was the only thing Marcus understood to be incomprehensible. He couldn't understand why Mason hadn't been honest with him. That could have saved everyone involved a lot of drama.
‘Well, I don't know if he lied to you, but in principle you got it right,’ Y/N said and nervously played around with the sleeve of her hoodie.
Marcus nodded understandingly.
‘Shit situation,’ he then murmured before he stood up.
‘I have to process this first, okay?’
He looked at her apologetically, even though she should actually be the one who apologises to him.
‘I'm sorry for the chaos,’ Y/N said before he said goodbye silently.
Sighing, Y/N let herself fall back when the door fell into the lock.
Now she had broken both of their hearts. Was that the right decision?
-
As if the following day had not already been difficult enough for Mason, a confrontation was imminent, for which he himself was responsible. It was no wonder that Marcus was looking for the conversation after Y/N had enlightened him the previous day. But Mason didn't know that Y/N had told Marcus anything at all.
Both Marcus and Mason’s mood had been modest in training. Both had hardly exchanged a word with the others. After training, the supposed first word was heard from Marcus.
‘Hey Mase, can we talk?’ Marcus asked his teammate and the eyes of the remaining players were also directed towards him. It suddenly became quiet in the changing room, which made Mason nervous.
No. He didn't want to talk to Marcus. He would have liked to tell him that he wanted to be left alone.
And that there was nothing to talk about.
There was nothing he wanted to talk to Marcus about.
But since all eyes were on him, he swallowed down these words. Instead, he tried to hide his inner tension.
‘Sure, what's up?’ Mason raised his eyebrows tensely, as if he didn't already know what Marcus wanted.
‘Can we go somewhere in private?’ Marcus added his previous statement. It was none of the others' business.
‘Do you have secrets from us?’ joked Licha, but he was ignored.
‘Give me two more minutes,’ Mason answered, who wasn’t quite ready yet.
‘Okay, I'll wait for you outside.’
With these words, Marcus disappeared and left Mason in the changing room.
As a result, some of the others began to have conversations with each other again. Only Jadon and Bruno, who knew most of the situation, were silent.
They had the feeling that something had happened that they didn't know about.
‘What happened, Mase?’ Jadon whispered so that the others didn't notice anything. Bruno also looked at his teammate eagerly.
‘Nothing,’ Mason grumbled, annoyed. Couldn't he just be left alone?
‘Clearly something happened, Marcus seemed tense,’ Jadon commented on his friend's statement. ‘What did you do, Mase?’
‘I didn't do anything. I don't know what he wants from me. Now leave me alone.’ With these words, Mason got up, grabbed his things and hurried out of the changing room. Mason also walked past Marcus, who was waiting in the hallway, which is why he shouted something after him.
Even though Mason tried to escape the situation with quick steps, Marcus suddenly appeared in front of him.
Mason didn't like the fact that he had actually taken the trouble to jog after him at all.
‘You're an idiot, do you know that?’ Marcus began and made it clear that it would not be a pleasant conversation.
‘What do you mean?’ was the only thing Mason said.
‘Do you always run away from the truth?’ Marcus crossed his arms, looked at him sceptically.
‘I don't know what-,’ Mason tried to answer, but was immediately interrupted.
‘You know exactly what I mean. You're a liar and I don't even understand why.’ He couldn't really tell if Marcus was angry - or what else he felt at that moment.
Mason tried to get past Marcus, but he stood in his way. ‘Let me through, I don't want to talk to you.’
‘Okay, go ahead,’ Marcus stepped aside shaking his head, and had no desire to discuss further with his stubborn fellow player.
Of course, Mason did not let himself be told that twice and left without giving Marcus another look.
The following days Mason had withdrawn quite a bit, first trying to get a clear head, whereby he was quite difficult. He also avoided his friends as much as possible, the confused faces did not escape him.
It was almost a week later when Mason was awake in bed again and couldn't close his eyes. The clock showed that it was shortly after midnight.
He knew that it could not go on like this, but he also knew that he did not accept the current situation. He didn't want to accept it.
Mason didn't think any further and got out of his bed, pulled over a little before reaching for his car key and leaving the house. He didn't care that it was already late at that moment.
In complete silence, he drove towards Y/N’s flat.
When he drove into the apartment building, it was one o'clock when he rang the bell.
Mason rang once, twice, three times.
His heart beat, knowing full well that it was completely brainy to stand at this time in front of the front door of the woman who had basketed him days before.
Suddenly the door opened and Mason didn't have enough time to take a deep breath beforehand.
She stood in front of him, in her pyjamas and tired look. Involuntarily, Mason smiled. He couldn't do anything about it, it just happened automatically.
‘What happened?’ The panic spread in Y/N’s face when she saw him. She couldn't explain why he was here.
But Mason stared at her, didn't get a word out. Still smiling.
‘Mason? What are you doing here?’ she asked again when he didn't answer her.
‘Give me a chance, please, Y/N.’
Even before he could think about what to say, it burst out of him.
‘What?’ Y/N had understood exactly what Mason had said, but could not believe what his reason for his late visit was.
‘Please,’ he repeated, sounded almost desperate. Y/N swallowed, squeezed her lips together. The sight of how desperate Mason was heartbreaking. She didn't want to see her best friend like that.
‘Come in,’ she just answered and took a step aside so that he could go in.
‘Is Gee here?’ Mason was afraid of meeting her for the first time in ages. She would tear off his head, he knew that.
Y/N couldn't resist laughing, shook her head. Geirgia had gone to her parents. Apparently she needed a change of scenery - but actually she only had enough of her sister's problems. At the latest that night she would probably have freaked out.
The door fell into the lock while Mason and Y/N looked at each other in silence. In the background, the clock was quietly ticking. Mason stepped closer while he was still looking at her.
‘A chance?’ Y/N murmured.
Now her heart was also beating like wild.
Her decision seemed to be forgotten.
‘Only one,’ Mason replied, also quietly. His voice trembled.
‘Do you want to stay?’ Was Y/N’s only answer to that.
-
When Y/N woke up, it all felt like a dream. The sun was already shining through the window as she pulled the ceiling over her head. Was it real that he was standing in front of her door in the middle of the night? Was it real that she asked him if he wanted to stay here? She felt the events of last night become clearer again and she realised that it had been real.
Y/N didn't know if she wanted to curse herself for it, after all, she had only rejected him a few days ago, or whether she should be proud of herself that she hadn't let him go back at this time. However, it didn't change the fact that he was probably still here. It took a while for Y/N to dawn.
Was he still here?
She held her breath for a moment to listen carefully to see if she heard any noises in the house. Either he would still be asleep in the guest room or he had already disappeared. Y/N had no idea which of the two options she would prefer.
Slowly she straightened up and sat down at the edge of the bed. She looked around, her room suddenly seemed so narrow. Her heart began to beat faster as she approached the door step by step.
As she walked down the hallway to the guestroom, she became more and more nervous. Y/N had the feeling that her heart would soon jump out of her chest, which is why she carefully put her hand on her chest to calm down.
But she realised that her excitement was completely in vain. Because the bed on which he was supposed to be in was empty.
If the bed was made perfectly, Y/N would have thought she had only dreamed of Mason’s nightly visit. But she knew that he had actually been here. But why had he disappeared again before they could talk to each other?
Y/N sighed softly.
She just didn't get out of the whole situation. Neither from her feelings nor from Mason’s behaviour.
It was a mystery whose solution was still waiting to be discovered.
The brunette reached for the pillow and the duvet, which they always had ready in case guests came to visit.
Immediately after the well-known scent of Mason’s perfume she sniffed, she brought the things directly into the washroom.
She then made herself a coffee, which is why only the hum of the coffee machine opposed the silence. While her room had constricted her earlier, the rest of the house filled up incredibly large.
For this reason, she went back to her room with her cup of coffee, almost stumbling over the last step, which is why she cursed quietly.
Her cup put her on her bedside table, grabbed her cell phone and had to swallow the lump in her throat when she saw that she had a message from Mason .
I shouldn't have just stood in front of your door yesterday. I'm sorry, Y/N. I hope you didn't feel weirded out by me.
No, she didn't feel weirded out. She had almost been relieved that he would not give up so easily.
-
‘Friendships with men never end well, Y/N.’ Leigh looked at her friend insistently while she was silent with a frown.
It had now been five weeks since Mason had stood in front of her door in the middle of the night. Since then, she had not heard from him and she no longer had any contact with Marcus. Her life felt different.
‘You've been telling me that for weeks now,’ Y/N grumbled annoyed. ‘Also please put another song on.’
‘Then stop looking like you've been the one that’s been dumped.’ Leigh reached for a light blue nail polish and screwed it on. ‘At least, you told him you didn't want anything from him.’
‘That has nothing to do with it.’ Y/N’s voice became louder while she was still looking for a suitable colour for her nails. ‘We could have remained friends anyway.’
Leigh began to paint the nails of her left hand, so she refrained from a mocking laugh.
‘You don't believe that yourself.’
She couldn't believe that her best friend was so naive to believe that nothing would change after her decision. Everyone with a little reason probably knew that nothing would be the same after that.
Y/N was silent and grabbed a lavender-coloured nail polish.
She also began to paint her nails and tried to steer her thoughts away from Mason.
‘How's it going with Bruno?’ she asked, especially to change the subject. Because actually she wanted to know how it went between the two.
‘Great,’ Leigh replied, whereupon a smile immediately crept onto her lips. ‘Y/N, I have to tell you something.’ Nervousness was in the voice of her best friend. She had thought for a long time whether she should tell her best friend.
‘Get it out.’ Y/N persisted and looked at her anxiously, frowning again. If she continued like this, she would soon get wrinkles.
‘You know that Bruno and I had a date a few days ago,’ she began to tell and had to refrain from grinning stupidly.
‘Yes?’ Y/N didn't quite understand what Leigh was getting at.
‘We've been together since then,’ Leigh dropped the bomb, and Y/N stared at her in complete silence
Of course she was happy for her best friend, that was out of the question. It was just the fact that Leigh had only met Bruno through the stupid bet. In contrast, the bet had ruined her life - to put it dramatically.
And maybe it was what Y/N deserved after playing so carelessly with the hearts of others.
-
Georgia hated shopping.
Y/N loved.
And to do something good for her sister, Georgia had to do it for sister and make her happy because she’s been miserable. Because as much as the two sometimes got into each other's hair, they were there for each other in difficult times. It was just as difficult a time for Y/N at the moment.
She didn't know what was worse.
To admit that she might have felt something for Mason after all or the fact that she had apparently lied to him that she didn’t have feelings for him. Both were at least due to the fact that she was to blame for the entire situation herself. So it's no wonder that she rolled in her self-pity. So much so that Georgia had thought about something to change her sister's mind.
‘This dress is hot!’ Georgia pointed to the red dress, which actually did not correspond to her taste.
‘Where would I wear it?’ Y/N pulled her eyebrows together. She didn't like the colour. She reminded her of Mason. Of course she did. Pretty much everything, she seemed to remind her of him somehow.
‘No idea?’ said Georgia and her overburdening could hardly be overheard. ‘You didn't care anyways.’ Towards the end, she became quieter before she looked around the store. Only now did she realise how expensive this store actually was.
‘Maybe let's go somewhere else.’ Georgia had no idea how they had landed here, she only knew that it was too expensive for her wallet.
Y/N just nodded. She didn't care where they went, they could also go straight home. But of course Georgia didn't want to do her the favour. She pulled her sister out of the store and then stopped in front of the entrance to look for the next destination.
‘Y/N?’ It was a male voice that scared the two sisters together. Y/N jumped, while Georgia critically examined the stranger.
‘Who is that again?’ Of course, Georgia could not resist a comment, because the appearance of the young man already screamed for nothing good.
He looked like the guys that Y/N always avoided.
‘Hi Jadon,’ Y/N greeted the footballer hesitantly. It was unpleasant, especially after what had happened.
‘Wait, Jadon? Like Jadon Sancho?’ Georgia twisted her face. Why did the name seem so familiar to her? It took a while for it to dawn for her. ‘The Jadon you slept with?’
Y/N looked at her sister with a glare. Why did she have to mention that now?
As if the encounter wasn't already so unpleasant enough.
‘Who is this?’ Jadon asked
‘Georgia, the cooler sister,’ she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
‘Nice that I met both the cool and the uncool sister,’ Jadon joked and now turned his gaze back to Y/N.
‘Are you okay?’ Worried, he looked at her.
‘No, she's not well. She’s lovesick,’ Georgia replied instead, whereupon she felt a playful punch to the upper arm. ‘Gee!’
Jadon frowned thoughtfully.
‘Oh man. But you also make it complicated.’ He obviously knew immediately who it was about. Of course he did.
‘Is Mason also walking around like a lost puppy?’ Georgia took a step towards Jadon, completely ignoring her sister's presence. She rolled her eyes and went back into the shop from which they had just come back. She didn't want to hear about the conversation anymore.
Meanwhile, Jadon and Georgia talked about the situation. This time, she refrained from the mocking comments about Mason. Even if she didn't like him, she knew that he somehow made her sister happy. And Georgia missed seeing her sister happy.
According to Jadon, Mason wasn't doing well either. He didn't let it be as extreme as Y/N, but he was quickly irritable and often seemed very unmotivated.
Why did Y/N and Mason make it so complicated? Instead of simply talking to each other again, they avoided each other.
Even though Jadon and Georgia could not really understand the situation, they decided that they had to do something. It couldn't go any further like this. The only question was how they could help the two a little.
-
Jadon stood nervously in front of the door of the two sisters, scratching the back of his head while he hesitantly stared at the bell sign. It felt wrong to stand in front of this door, to be here. But he knew it was for a good cause.
Georgia had almost forced Jadon to come by to put an end to the melodrama together with her. So he stood there, and felt like a traitor, but he did one of his best friends a favour.
Jadon had not even noticed that the door had opened and Georgia looked at him with an amused look. The panic was written on his face, which the younger one took advantage of to tease him.
As soon as he had set foot inside, Georgia called for her sister.
Jadon sunk his hands into his trouser pockets and still stopped in the entrance area, unsure where to go. That's why he just stopped.
It was kind of ironic that he was here to try to convince Y/N to talk to Mason. How should he convince her of all people?
Only Marcus would probably have been even more absurd in this situation.
‘You again,’ Y/N’s voice sounded when she discovered Jadon stood in the landing. She thought she had seen him shopping earlier had been unpleasant, but seeing him in her own four walls was much worse.
‘I-,’ Jadon began, looking at Georgia, after which he corrected himself. ‘We want to help you.’
Georgia grinned contentedly and beamed at Y/N.
Georgia was convinced that it would work.
‘I can't just go to him!’ They had sat down in the living room, where Jadon began to tell Y/N about Mason’s current state of health. He tried to make it clear to her that Mason was still hoping that he had a chance with her. Because Mason could not have guessed that Y/N felt the same thing, but was not brave enough to admit her mistake. And that's exactly what Jadon tried to make clear to her.
‘But that's exactly what you can do,’ said Georgia, her voice getting louder. ‘He tried several times, literally begged you, Y/N, - and now it's time for you to do something. Everyone sees that you want it too.’
Jadon nodded in agreement. It was obvious. Only Y/N just had to admit it.
‘But I'm afraid that I've already messed up with him and it's too late now,’ Y/N whispered in a trembling voice as she looked at the floor. Why had she been so stupid to understand her own feelings?
‘That's absolute bullshit!’ Georgia complained. ‘Jadon just explained to you that Mason hopes that you will get in touch with him. You just have to do it.’
Y/N looked up from the floor, first looked at her sister, then Jadon, who smiled at her cheeringly.
‘Okay,’ she murmured hesitantly. ‘I'll try it.’ What else did she have to lose?
Georgia jumped joyfully into the air, hugged her sister. She was relieved that she could be convinced, - and Jadon had contributed a great part to it.
A few minutes later, the three were sitting in Jadon’s car, because he had agreed to drive Y/N to Mason, and Georgia was probably only there to watch what happened. Y/N wouldn't be surprised if Georgia looked out the window.
But that didn't matter to Y/N, because she had just enough to struggle with her thoughts and feelings. She was nervous, she was cold and warm at the same time, and she trembled. How would Mason react? She would find out in the next few minutes.
When she actually stood in front of the driveway, got out of the car with shaky legs and ran to the gate, she had the feeling that her heart was jumping out of her chest. Had she ever been so nervous in her life?
She rang the bell and immediately held her breath. A few seconds passed. Was he at home at all?
‘Hello?’ Mason’s voice sounded from the intercom, which made Y/N twitch.
‘Hi Mason,’ she stuttered. ‘It's me, Y/N.’ Then there was silence until shortly afterwards the door opened and she recognised Mason, who looked at her irritated.
She walked towards him, whereas the otherwise short way felt so long. She bit her lower lip and then stopped in front of him.
‘Y/N,’ he said in a calm voice, which made it quite difficult for Y/N to interpret what was going through his head.
‘Mase,’ she replied, with her voice not even nearly as calm as his. Her voice also trembled, as did her hands.
His chocolate brown eyes looked at the brunette, and saw her trembling hands.
‘Are you nervous?’ It sounded more like a question than a remark. Y/N’s insecurity seemed to have infected him.
‘I'm incredibly nervous, oh God, I'm sweating like that right now,’ she babbled frantically, only then realised what she had said, which is why she opened her eyes.
A slight smile crept on Mason’s lips, because the nervous and excited Y/N was incredibly cute.
‘God, what am I doing here? I have no idea where to start at all.’ Y/N drove a hand through her hair and tried to get it together.
‘Hey, everything's fine.’ Mason put his hand on her shoulder, gently stroked it. He didn't seem angry at all, he couldn't do it at all, now that she was standing in front of him. She had wrapped it around her finger without realising it.
‘Do you want to come in?’ He tried to calm her down, even if he was curious about what she had to say. Maybe she would come down a bit inside.
‘Yes, please.’ Y/N smiled slightly, which Mason replied.
She just couldn't get rid of the nervousness, not even when she entered his house, when she had always felt so comfortable. Even Mason’s calm manner, which she had actually never expected, could not change anything about it.
‘I actually didn't expect you today.’ Something amusing sung in Mason’s voice. Presumably, he was trying to loosen up the tense mood that was quite there. Y/N couldn't quite understand that he reacted like that. They walked together towards the living room, Mason walked ahead of her so that she could not see his facial expression.
‘Me neither, honestly,’ Y/N said after she had made her throat to make sure her voice was in. She scratched nervously on her nail polish, a habit that urgently needed to get used to.
Mason sat down on the huge couch, looked at the brunette with a smile while he laid his arms on the backrest. He did not break off the eye contact, looked - and waited for Y/N to continue.
‘I have no idea how and where to start,’ she murmured, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
‘How about you start with it by sitting down?’ Mason drove a hand over his beard.
Y/N just nodded and sat down on the sofa. Far enough away from him to feel somehow safe. Because if she was honest, despite his current behaviour, she was afraid of his reaction.
‘Well,’ Mason started the conversation they should have had days or weeks ago. ‘Why are you here?’ It seemed as if he was getting impatient after all. And that was also the case, because the longer Y/N did not come out with the language, the more tense Mason became.
‘I'm here because I wanted to apologise for being so stupid.’ Y/N’s voice was quiet, brittle. She became emotional when she reviewed the past few weeks, until Y/N realised how much Mason meant to her.
Mason listened to her eagerly, said nothing, waited for her to continue.
‘Not because I was too stupid to realise that you see more in me, but because I was too stupid to realise that I also feel more. I didn't realise what I feel.’ Y/N sighed softly and looked into Mason’s eyes for the first time during her monologue. ‘And then I didn't manage to gather my courage to tell you that. Maybe it was also my ego that prevented me from crawling up when you didn't get in touch anymore. I don't know. I only know that it was incredibly stupid.’
As a result, there was silence, Y/N just thought she heard her own heartbeat while she looked at Mason pleadingly. She needed a reaction on his part, otherwise she would probably freak out in the next few seconds.
But there was no reaction in the next few seconds, instead he stared at her, which is why Y/N raised her eyebrows.
‘Can you please say something?’ she pleaded desperately and she realised how tears came to her eyes because the situation overwhelmed her.
‘Please don't cry now, Y/N.’ Mason almost panicked when he realised that. He moved closer to her, pulled her into her arms, whereupon the tension finally broke. It was as if all the burden was falling from her when she felt his arms around her. Mason gently stroked her back, leaving her all the time in the world to calm down. Just as he had given her all the time in the world to become clear about her feelings.
‘I was so stupid, Mason, and I almost ruined it,’ Y/N got out in tears, sniffed, and squeezed closer to him.
‘Stop being so hard on yourself,’ Mason whispered, leaning his head against hers. ‘The main thing is that everything will be fine from now on.’
Y/N raised her head and looked at him with watery eyes. Mason gently stroked her cheek, giving her an encouraging smile.
‘So everything will be fine now?’ She hesitantly expressed her thoughts while hoping for it deep inside.
‘At least between us, yes,’ Mason answered her with a grin. ‘Do you think I'll ever let you go again?’ His grin only widened and for the first time Y/N also smiled.
‘Sounds like a threat,’ she smiled as she freed herself from his arms and sat up to wipe the remains of the tears from her face.
‘Maybe it is one,’ Mason also joked and didn't let Y/N out of her sight for a second. Then he got serious again.
‘I missed you, Y/N.’
The brunette nodded in agreement and she also abruptly became serious again.
‘I missed you too, Mase.’
There was a comfortable silence, and Y/N thought if she doesn’t do it now she’ll regret it later on so she leaned in to kiss him, feeling her heart race with excitement. As their lips met, she couldn't help but smile, knowing that this was the beginning of something special. In that moment, nothing else mattered except the two of them and the love that was blossoming between them.
-
With a broad grin on her face, Y/N unlocked the front door and entered the flat seconds later.
She heard quick steps from above before she saw her sister jogging down the stairs.
‘And?’ Georgia looked at her sister curiously and immediately realised that Y/N had a huge smile on her face.
‘That's enough as an answer, that's all I want to know.’ Georgia twisted her face in disgust. But before she could go up again, she was pulled into a hug by her sister.
‘Help,’ Georgia pressed out, because Y/N squeezed her pretty hard. ‘You stink of Mason’s perfume.’ She scrunched her nose and tried to get out of the embrace, whereupon Y/N laughed.
‘Be quiet, I want to thank you.’
‘Thank Jadon,’ said Georgia, whereupon Y/N grip loosened and she looked at her younger sister with a smile.
‘Do you like Jadon?’ She grinned provocatively and waited eagerly for how Georgia would deny it. She did the same after her face turned bright red.
‘Well, he's at least better than the other footballers - but that's it.’
Everyone who knew Georgia knew that this could already be interpreted as half a declaration of love.
‘Stop grinning so stupidly now, before I ring mum up and tell her you and Mason are together,’ now it was Georgia’s turn to grin.
‘Actually, we are not officially together, yet,’
With these words, Y/N ran past Georgia, into the kitchen to get something to drink. Her gaze slid over the selection of drinks before her gaze stuck to a bottle of wine.
Y/N had called Leigh, who of course came by immediately when she heard that there was something to celebrate.
So the three young women were now sitting in the kitchen, all with a glass of wine in their hands, and looking at Y/N, who was already at her third glass.
‘So that I understand correctly: The Jadon you slept with persuaded you to go to Mason?’ Leigh frowned in confusion. It sounded completely absurd, but admittedly, if you knew the overall situation of the two, it fit into the scheme. The question was only what was not absurd about the history of the two?
Y/N just nodded in response and sipped her glass. She had really earned the alcohol after the hardships.
‘How did Mason react?’ asked Georgia, who actually showed interest this time.
Y/N leaned back and a smile immediately crept onto her lips.
She began to tell about the fact that Mason never made her feel guilty, that he had taken her in his arms when she burst into tears. Then they had just sat there without talking to each other and enjoyed each other's mere presence. It had been nice and they had missed it, also the fact that she beat the bullet and decided to lean in for a kiss.
‘Disgusting,’ Georgia commented on her sister's summary.
‘Well, I think it's cute,’ Leigh contradicted Georgia. ‘Now we can go on double dates!’ Leigh clapped her hands enthusiastically, while Georgia rolled her eyes.
Y/N just laughed and poured herself some sparkling wine.
‘Mason and I want to take our time in this relationship,’ she said and put the bottle back on the table. ‘In addition, we are not yet officially together.’
‘You are incredible.’ Georgia shook her head. ‘It will certainly take another hundred years until you are together, as I know you.’
‘There's no reason to be in such a hurry,’ Y/N answered and got up to look into the fridge, whereupon she realised that it was almost empty. ‘Shall we order something to eat?’ Her gaze turned to the other two, who then both nodded.
So they found a nice end to the evening. They ordered burgers, drank a lot of wine and danced through the entire kitchen. Until the time when they fell asleep completely broken on the sofa.
The next morning kind of felt like a déjà vu when Y/N woke up with a humming skull. But the look next to her, where Georgia and Leigh lay, made it clear to her that it was different than last time. Only her headaches were the same. She urgently had to get rid of drinking so much, because after all, it was nothing new that she couldn't stand it.
She heard Leigh grumbling next to her. Y/N slowly turned in her direction and looked at her best friend. ‘Does your head hurt too?’
‘Yes,’Y/N whispered. ‘That was pretty stupid of us.’ She rubbed her face. ‘Just like the fact that we have nothing to have breakfast here, that would at least help me a little.’
Leigh muttered something incomprehensible, and tried to sit up slowly.
‘I'll organise something for us,’ Leigh explained and grabbed her phone.
Half an hour later, Y/N was in the bathroom, washing her face with cold water, in the hope that it would make her more alert when the doorbell rang. Even if she hurried, someone came before her and opened the door for her. It was clear, because it immediately became louder in the house, different voices roared through the closed door, which Y/N slowly opened and went out of.
She followed the sound of the voice, initially walking past the living room, with Georgia still lying and burying her head under a pillow, presumably to suppress the noises. Then they carried their legs towards the kitchen, where she first saw Leigh, who had put her arms around Bruno. The woman, who had previously complained about her well-being, suddenly seemed to have changed. - And that was certainly not due to the breakfast she brought along, which she saw lying on the table in front of them.
Y/N entered the kitchen, watched the two lovebirds amusedly,
‘Good morning, Y/N,’ a voice sounded that made her jump.
‘What are you doing here?’ it slipped out of her, which is why Mason laughed.
‘I thought you were happy?’
It sounded more like a question than a statement, but nevertheless Mason approached the young woman and put his arm around the hip of the brunette while he pulled her closer to him.
She looked at him with big eyes, while she realized that her heart was pounding much faster - at the latest now she was awake.
‘I am,’ she replied. ‘But that still doesn't explain why you're here.’
It was Bruno who then spoke.
‘My pretty girlfriend called me and asked me to get breakfast for you and then explicitly mentioned that I should bring Mase.’ Leigh cheeks turned red when Bruno complimented her before she also explained herself:
‘I wanted to see with my own eyes that everything is fine between you two again.’
‘I understand,’ Y/N murmured, looking at Mason, who looked down at her and grinned.
‘So everything is definitely fine between us, isn't it?’ said Mason, who didn't turn his gaze away from Y/N for a second. Y/N cheeks became flush red. It definitely felt unfamiliar.
‘Yes,’ Y/N replied quietly, turning her gaze away from Mason while a smile formed on her lips.
Y/N opened the kitchen cabinet by looking for the paracetamol and took one before swallowing it down with a big sip of water.
‘Did you drink too much yesterday?’ Mason asked curiously and watched Y/N closely. She felt his gaze on her, which is why she looked at him.
‘Yes, but just save your comments, Mase.’ She knew that some teasing comment on his part was already waiting to be said.
As a result, there was silence and the small group stared at each other as if there was something in the air that no one dared to say. This was also the case, because each of those present seemed to be aware that there were still unanswered questions.
It was Leigh who asked one of these questions. The question that Y/N had already asked herself. A question that is on her heart
‘And what are you going to do now?’ she asked, although that was anything but understandable. ‘Well, I mean, couldn't it get weird somehow?’ Leigh tried laboriously to ask her question without mentioning a specific name.
That was probably completely exaggerated, because after all, there was never anything serious between Marcus and Y/N. But he was still one of Mason’s friends and his teammate. That alone would make it kind of strange. In addition to the fact that Y/N had told him a few weeks ago that she could not imagine either of them.
Even if Marcus had shown himself to be understandable to Y/N, they had never exchanged a word again afterwards. And Mason has also tried to avoid Marcus since then. The fact that the two were now - somehow - together only made the whole thing even more difficult.
Y/N looked at Mason, who had also turned his gaze to the Y/N at that moment. It was a question they still had to answer. But until they had found a solution, it had to remain secret for the time being. They agreed on that.
-
Y/N pushed her suitcase behind her, there was a wide smile on her lips and on her nose sat the sunglasses, which saved her a few seconds later from becoming blind from brightness when she left the airport.
‘Woah, it is hot here,’ she heard Mason whining next to her. He wished to be able to go back to the chilled airport, but his girlfriend grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the exit.
The season was over and Mason was finally able to redeem his betting debts.
Well, he liked to lose when he looked at the result, because he had gotten what he really wanted: Y/N. He began to smile as his gaze wandered at her.
Somehow he had made it after all, even though it needed a rather stupid bet that opened Y/N’s eyes.
‘Come on, loser, our taxi is waiting behind.’ Y/N pulled not only her suitcase, but also her boyfriend behind her. He just laughed when using his new nickname. Because when the drama had slowly settled they had told Marcus together that they were now a couple, Mason had apologised to him so that they finally made peace again, Y/N realised that she had won the bet. That bet had actually been in the background for a long time and they wanted to pretend that it never existed, especially Marcus who should never know anything about it, but Y/N still wanted to redeem her win.
And Mason had worked hard to plan a nice holiday, because betting debts were honorary debts.
So they had now landed in the Bahamas and Mason could make his girlfriend happy that she could tan on the beautiful beaches they had in The Bahamas! - At least Georgia had reacted to it when she learned that the two were going to the Bahamas.
Her second reaction was that she shouldn't come up with the idea of making her an aunt during the holiday. Other than that, she was looking forward to the peace and quiet in the house.
‘The holiday will be great!’ Y/N was blown away when they arrived at the hotel, which was right on the beach. ‘I'm looking forward to getting a tan!’ She smiled contentedly.
‘And I'm looking forward to watching you do it,’ joked Mason, who then received a playful punch to the upper arm.
Y/N complained and shook her head. ‘How am I supposed to endure with you for almost three weeks?’
Mason shrugged his shoulders.
‘Better think about how you can stand the rest of your life with me.’ He pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead, after which she giggled.
‘You're so disgustingly cheesy, Mase.’ Y/N laughed.
‘And you're into it, baby.’ He winked and poked her in the side teasingly.
They entered her room and Y/N couldn't get out of her amazement. It was wonderful here.
But Y/N couldn't inspect her room for a long time, because Mason had other things in mind.
‘Bet I'm faster at unpacking my things?’
These kind of bets were harmless to Y/N and it’s what she’s going to stick to in the future from now on.
yourusername and masommount
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yourusername Bahamas, you’ve been amazing so far! I can’t wait to see where the next two weeks takes us 🌴🏝️🩵
masonmount always an amazing time with you ❤️❤️
leighleigh you two!! 🥺😫
itsnotgee wear protection! I don’t want to become an auntie just yet 🙄🤍
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thank you for reading, please leave feedback it’s always appreciated 🤍
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penandinkprincess · 10 months
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hi
so people are likely tired of this, and i do apologize for that: you are free to scroll past. i just wanted to set the record straight on a couple things. 
and i will be using names this time, because it’s crossing a fucking line now. 
catsarecutebutaliens and ellie-licious have been accusing me of stealing ideas and using AI to write my fics. i wanna go ahead and put this out here: if you follow me, you’ve seen me come up with most of my ideas in real time and post snippets of them as i go. supposedly “many people” (per ellie-licious) have run my fics through AI detectors and had them come up positive. i don’t know anything about AI. i don’t know how to use it, and i don’t know how to detect for it. i also haven’t seen any evidence that my fics HAVE been run through any detectors. 
so just to answer an accusation i truly never expected to get: i don’t use AI to write my fics. i write them at the speed i do because i have a fuckton of ideas and a great love for these characters and i miss out on a lot of sleep because i’m so dialed in to writing my fics. brain goblin drives me like i’m a robot. doesn’t mean i’m a fucking robot. 
as for stealing fic ideas, i’ve specifically been accused of stealing a main idea from this fic. from a brief perusal, i’m guessing they’re talking about david biting ellie bc i put that in one of the last chapters of half-step. however, please note the date on that fic (may 3rd). half-step was the second time i explored the idea of david biting ellie. the first time was in sovereign, which i published march 16th. unless i am a time traveler as well as a robot, not fucking possible for me to steal an idea that wasn’t published until almost two months after i wrote about it the first time. and i’m not accusing catsarecutebutaliens of stealing it from me, to be totally clear. it’s a horrible and compelling thought and idea to have in a fic. i’m not surprised more than one person could think of it. but don’t accuse me of stealing from you just because you had the same idea as me after i already published a fic with it in it. 
i’ve also been accused of trying to sweep everything that’s been going on under the rug by publishing positive asks from a while ago. if you guys have followed me for a while (even back from witcher days), you’ll know that’s just how i answer my asks. it’s why i have a tag for them so people can filter them out. i answer all of my asks in one huge go at a time, and i try to dig back in my inbox because i don’t want people to get forgotten just because they sent me stuff on a day my brain wasn’t up to answering. if you’ve sent me an ask with your name attached and want me to take it down bc you no longer agree with me or want your username associated with my blog, message me and ask me to take it down. if i can find it (bc anyone who’s gone on my blog can report that the search feature doesn’t work right), i will. no problem. sorry we’ve parted ways, and i hope you still have fun in fandom in a circle that’s better for you and for your experience and for your well-being. 
as a final note: i share parts of my life with you guys bc i enjoy it. i share parts of my life with you guys bc i’m frustrated and need to scream into a void. but no one on here knows the sum total of everything i have ever experienced, and that’s by design. i write fic bc it feels good to work through feelings and experiences and traumas and mental illness in a way in which everything gets wrapped up neatly in the end and everyone ends up happy. that’s not real life. of course it’s not. in real life, there are things that trail you for the rest of your fucking life and make you mourn parts of yourself bc you’ve lost them. there’s pain that feels like it’s never gonna fucking stop. there’s trauma that changes you as a person and makes you angry and grief-stricken bc it stole pieces of you that you can’t get back. and guess what? those things aren’t the fucking same for everyone. there’s overlap and things in common, but to go “yeah this person’s experience doesn’t look like mine so CLEARLY they have never struggled or experienced mental illness” is vile. take shots at me all you want, but i pray to god you’re not taking that attitude into the real world because it’s dismissive and incredibly cruel. 
and i’m using names here NOT to try and get anyone else to chime in and message them or try to dogpile them. that is NOT my intention. i’m only using their names here because i want to address their specific accusations. please do not message them. they accused me, i responded. i am not at all trying to get them attacked. 
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beestriker015 · 1 month
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Elesa x male s/o headcanons
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Being a famous model as well as a gym leader, Elesa is no stranger to people vying for her affections.
Unfortunately for them, she is already in a relationship with someone whom she loves dearly, that being a handsome young man named s/o.
Elesa met s/o on a sunny afternoon in Nimbasa City when she had time off from the gym and her modeling career.
While wearing a disguise to avoid being bothered by her fans and the paparazzi, Elesa accidentally ran into s/o as he was leaving the Pokémon Center.
“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! Are you alright?!”
She asks the young man while offering him a hand after knocking him over.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just try being a bit more careful ok?”
He says with a small smile while accepting her hand to pull himself up.
“Thank you. My name’s s/o by the way.”
“Nice to meet you s/o, I’m….Elise.”
She greets him after quickly thinking up a fake name to use.
“Tell me, why were you in such a hurry Elise?”
Looking at the ground feeling slightly embarrassed, “Elise” chuckles awkwardly before answering.
“T-to be honest with you s/o, I was just really excited to ride on the Ferris Wheel. I haven’t done so in a long time because of how busy I’ve been lately.”
“You don’t say? Funnily enough, I was on my way there to ride it too! Now this may sound like a strange question, but would you perhaps like to ride it with me?”
Thinking for a moment, the incognito gym leader/model smiles and nods.
“Sure! After all I do owe you for running into you a minute ago s/o.”
“What are we waiting for then, let’s go!”
Gently taking her hand, s/o leads “Elise” to the Ferris Wheel before they get on it together.
Needless to say, the two had a really fun time and enjoyed each other’s company a lot as they talked about various things including their wins on the Battle Subway, favorite pokémon, and fashion tastes.
Once the ride was over, s/o gave “Elise” his number in case she ever wanted to hang out again, causing her to blush a little as they parted ways. “H-he gave me his number! W-why is my face heating up so much?!”
She asks herself before looking at the piece of paper with s/o’s number on it, a smile unknowingly making its way onto her face as she inputting the digits into her Xtransciever before heading back to her place.
Unsurprisingly, Elesa kept in contact with s/o and continued to spend time with him since then whenever they both had the time, leading to the two slowly catching feelings for one another.
Elesa was the first to realize her feelings, which presented a problem.
“How can I think of s/o that way! He’d never return my feelings because he thinks I’m someone else. We’ve grown pretty close over these couple months, so maybe it’s time I tell him the truth. I just hope he understands and somehow accepts my feelings.”
Sending s/o a message via her Xtransciever to meet up somewhere in private, s/o eventually arrives with a questioning look on his face.
“Why’d you want to meet me here Elise, is something going on?”
“I’m sorry s/o, but my name’s not Elise.”
Taking off her disguise (which consists of a hat, sunglasses, and designer scarf in case you were wondering), s/o is shocked to see the beautiful model/electric gym leader in front of him.
“Y-you’re Elesa! I don’t understand, why would you lie to me about who you were all this time?”
“S/o, a lot of people only like me for my looks or my careers rather than for who I am as a person, so I put on a disguise and used a different name to avoid being recognized. When I met you, I was scared that you would be like everyone else if you found out who I really was, but I know you well enough now to see that you aren’t like that. I was always planning on telling you, I just didn’t know how until now. Believe me s/o when I say that I truly enjoyed all the time we’ve spent together, so please….don’t hate me for lying to you.”
Getting over his initial shock, s/o wraps Elesa in a comforting hug, making her blush from the contact.
“I don’t hate you at all Elesa. I understand why you did what you did. Besides, I couldn’t possibly hate the woman I’ve….fallen in love with.”
Hearing those words causes Elesa to tear up as she breaks from the hug and looks at s/o with a smile.
“I love you too s/o!”
He returns her smile as both of them share a passionate kiss, thus beginning their relationship. As a couple, Elesa and s/o are very openly affectionate, neither of them shying away from kissing and cuddling in public. Dates consist of either spending time alone together while watching movies, or partaking in double battles as a couple on the Battle Subway.
Early on in their relationship, Elesa introduces her boyfriend to her closest friends, those being Emmet, Ingo, and Skyla, who thankfully get along with s/o quite well.
(S/o does his best to comfort his girlfriend when Ingo suddenly disappears one day without a trace, but she and his brother Emmet never stop mourning the missing Subway Boss.)
Despite not being a trainer himself, all of Elesa’s pokémon love s/o, especially her two Emolga who enjoy perching on his shoulders, which their trainer gushes over every time they do so.
“That’s so cute! I need to take a picture of this s/o! Don’t move!”
S/o is always extremely supportive of his girlfriend, whether she’s doing a gym battle or a photo shoot, which Elesa is very much grateful for.
“Thank you for being there for me today s/o, I appreciate it greatly.”
He smiles and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“No thanks necessary babe! I’ll support you in whatever you’re doing no matter what! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”
She smiles and kisses him back, happy to have such an amazing partner.
Jealousy in their relationship is uncommon, but definitely exists.
Elesa gets jealous whenever one of her gym trainers (or sometimes the occasional challenger) flirts with s/o or make comments about him, which he wastes no time reassuring her about.
“One of the girls was talking you up today s/o, I would’ve lost my cool if it weren’t for the gym battle I was having being so intense.”
She huffs in annoyance as s/o hugs her affectionately.
“Pay them no mind babe. You’re the only woman who has my heart Elesa, I love you and you alone.”
S/o gets jealous from all his girlfriend’s fans, which Elesa admittedly finds kinda cute.
“Must your male fans act like shameless simps! Some of the things they say just makes my blood boil Don’t they understand that you’re in a relationship?!”
Elesa giggles while calming down her angry boyfriend with a shoulder rub.
“Aww, no need to get upset dear. My love shines only for you. You’re the light of my life, and nothing or no one will change that.”
Speaking of her fans, Elesa will not tolerate anyone speaking ill of her boyfriend.
“I don’t appreciate what you just said about my s/o. Who I date is my choice, not yours! Now either apologize to my boyfriend and keep your opinion to yourself or leave!”
It always makes s/o’s heart flutter when Elesa gets protective of him, and he’ll do the same if any of her fans get out of line.
“Hey! I saw where your hand was going pal! Try touching her like that again and I’ll break every bone in your body!”
Only on special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries will s/o and Elesa ride the Ferries Wheel, as it holds special meaning to them both because it’s where they first met.
For their second anniversary, s/o proposes to Elesa while they ride the Ferris Wheel, earning a very emotional response from her.
“This is the most romantic thing ever! Yes! Of course I’ll marry you s/o!
She exclaims gleefully with happy tears in her eyes before pulling her boyfriend turned fiancé into a warm embrace and kissing him repeatedly.
When it comes time for them to get off, the engagement ring on Elesa’s finger shimmers in the moonlight as she walks home with her beloved s/o, the love she has for him shining brighter than a thousand suns.
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yourangel137 · 8 months
Text
Bloodstains on the curtain / chapter 2
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Here is chapter two! I hope you all like it<3 tagging: @pix-stuff as promised.
Pairings: yandere/murderer!Childe x GN!reader
Warnings: stress/anxiety
Genre: mostly fluff
Type: Series
Word count: 1123 words
Summary: Is it truly him? Is he truly the killer? He can't be.. he's just too kind, right?
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It’s hard to figure out how you’re supposed to feel after such an event, your stomach still twists and feels sick upon remembering the scene you saw just a week ago. After the police had safely brought you home, you haven’t been able to rest. Nightmares upon nightmares happen, no matter how many hours you decide to sleep. Your parent decided to call a therapist for you, someone who is able to help you let go of your trauma. Yet nobody knows what truly bothers you.
Why does the killer have the exact same keychain as Tartaglia?
Your best friend, Tartaglia, might be hiding more than you thought at first. Your best friend, the person you fell so hard for that it hurts knowing he might be a killer. It must be a coincidence right?
A knock can be heard on your door, your eyes immediately darting towards your bedroom door before it opens up and your mother enters your bedroom. “I made you some dinner, do you want to eat it here or with me downstairs?” She asks you, her worry still clearly present in her voice.
“Here, if you don’t mind. I just need a moment for myself..”
“Okay, I get it. Times are very tough right now but just know I’m here for you ok? I’ll bring you a plate.” And there she went again, going downstairs to get you a plate before going back up with it and putting it on your desk.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it..” Your mother’s smile is enough of an answer to your gratitude before she leaves you alone again.
A coincidence... It must’ve been a coincidence... A bright yellow star keychain, the same keychain you gave to Tartaglia as a little token of appreciation towards all he’d done for you. You still remember where you bought it, how it was the last one in stock and how happy Tartaglia got from such a small gift.
It has to be a coincidence.
You slowly begin eating the food your mother made for you, brain still pondering who the killer could possibly be. Your phone lights up and you see a message from your best friend, but for now you decide to ignore it.
‘If Tartaglia really is the killer? Would I be able to tell the police?’ You think to yourself. How could you possibly send your best friend of 10 years to jail? Someone you managed to develop such strong feelings for? Is it normal to doubt yourself?
Your phone lights up again, this time ringing fills your ears, breaking your trail of thoughts and worries. Quickly you swallow the last bit of food down before picking up the phone. “Heeeeey, my star, it’s Tartaglia~ Are you feeling a bit better today? Did I scare you again by calling randomly? You didn’t check my messages so.. I hope you don’t mind me simply calling you~” The corners of your mouth lift up, cheeks flushing slightly, all while your heart skips beats of happiness.
‘Nah, he can’t be the killer.’
“No I don’t mind you calling me, not at all actually! I was just eating dinner so I couldn’t reply immediately, sorry about that. I feel a bit better today, I’m just very tired.. How are you feeling today?”
His happy giggles melt your heart before he answers back: “I’m glad you don’t mind me calling, I’m just worried about you, ya know? I’m doing great now I hear your voice again~” His random flirting immediately gets to you and your cheeks flush once more. “Are you still getting nightmares? I hope they are gone.. but then again, I can’t imagine how horrible that scene must’ve looked..”
“It’s getting better, but I still get them frequently. I’m sure it’ll go away eventually, right?” you reply with a positive tone in your voice.
“I do hope so.. But hey! Now that girl won’t bother you anymore right? With the bullying? Isn’t that something positive at least?”
Your words get stuck in your throat, saliva building up while you remain silent. Tartaglia coughs up a forced chuckle and softly states it’s a stupid joke he shouldn’t have made.
“You’re right though.. She won’t bully me anymore.. I just don’t know how to feel about why she won’t bully me anymore. Do people genuinely deserve to die because they hurt another person?”
The other line stays quiet this time, yet the air turns thick and the silence makes you so uncomfortable. After a few minutes you hear his voice speak out again:
“Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. At least you’re safe, right Y/N? That’s all I care about, your safety.”
“...”
“Anyways~! Do you have plans tomorrow? School is still closed so we could hang out if you’d like? We could go out and shop for new clothes or just get some ice cream or lunch? What do you think?”
Before you know it, a tear drops down your cheek, worry filling your heart again. You clutch onto your sweatshirt while you hold back the urge to cry. “I almost died back then Tartaglia..”
“You won’t die, nobody will hurt you, my star. You got me, right? I’ll keep you safe even if it’ll cost me my life. Nobody will hurt you, nobody will. I’ll make sure of it, okay Y/N? Can you believe me and trust me with that?”
You hum softly while nodding, wiping away the tear that rolled down your cheek. “Please.. Keep me safe.. I’m scared the killer saw me and I’m next on the list..”
You hear a soft sad sigh from the other line before you hear his softer and more gentle voice speak out once again: “I promise, I’ll keep you safe. How about tomorrow I’ll come pick you up and I’ll hold your hand the whole time while we shop together, hm? I’m sure that’ll make you feel a lot safer right?” He ends the sentence with a cute chuckle.
“Alright.. I’d like some fresh air actually.. Text me the time you’ll be here then, okay? I’ll stop calling now.. I’m getting very tired.” Not even 10 seconds later you already see his message appear with the time, making you chuckle slightly from his enthusiasm.
“There you go! I hope you sleep well tonight. Dream of me instead! I’ll even protect you in your dreams~”
You sigh and face palm your forehead softly from his very obvious flirting. “Alright dumbass, I’ll dream of you instead.” You hear his gasp on the other line and can’t help but laugh. “Goodnight to you too.. Thank you by the way. Byee byee~”
I guess tomorrow will be your first time going outside after the incident, how is that going to go?
---
Hope u have a lovely day<3
Much love,
Angel
Last updated: 07-08-2023
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jahayla-parker · 9 months
Text
💜⚡️ Jahayla’s Quick Explanation, Apology, & Appreciation Post 💜⚡️
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Explanation and Apology
Many of you have noticed that I’ve been MIA for a bit (minus my prescheduled posts), so I wanted to say a few words.
First, the posts you’ve seen lately were PRE-SCHEDULED. I promise I’m not avoiding, ghosting, or ignoring ANYONE. 💜
I legit haven’t been online on here in awhile. This includes tags, notifications, comments, messages, asks, etc.
I’m sorry if it seemed like I was being rude by not having interacted, it’s only because I wasn’t online!
Why did I stay off Tumblr for a bit?
Outside of increased responsibilities in my life, lately when I’ve come on here I’ve been getting hate and pressure.
It’s not an excessive amount, but it’s enough to make me not want to open the app. 🤷‍♀️
As far as the hate goes, I’m not going to justify any of it by responding to the messages (other than blocking the sender) nor by answering the applicable hateful asks in my inbox. 💁‍♀️
In terms of the pressuring, I mean.. I get it. I too struggle with a lack of new content for my favorite characters/people/stories/etc.
But, please realize even while I’ve been away from the app, I’ve been posting stories at least twice a week if not more. I know it might not be what, or for whom, you’re wanting just yet. But, I’m getting there, I promise!
I’m still writing and have been during this unplanned ‘Tumblr break’.
I will try and get new content that’s not already on the pre-scheduled list ASAP. But please be patient with me!
If you have concerns about a particular request, you can always ask or check in! 💜
But please don’t yell, try to make me move it up or post before it’s complete, or state that I need to do a certain fic before a different one. I have a reason for my ordering even if seems like chaotic madness lol. And I’ll get to it all, but to ask me to bump down or postpone someone else’s request for yours is not very considerate.
Appreciation
Lastly, I want to thank all of you who have been so friendly and supportive! The amount of love I feel from many of you outweighs the hatred I might get from time to time. And I truly appreciate you for that! 💜
And to my fellow Swifties, wanting to share my thoughts with you all and hear yours (for Speak Now TV of course) is what motivated me enough to bring me back to the app tonight, so thank you 💜🎵
Tagging some of my more interactive mutuals to be sure they see this explanation as to my lack of response! 💜
@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @theslayerofthevampires
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kigeren · 2 years
Text
Late to confess. || Shinichiro Sano x F! Reader
TW: Curse words, Angst, Grammatical errors and Suicidal thoughts. (OOC)
This is my first time making a one shot fanfic enjoy!
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You are now 23 years old and no longer an unemployed lady; instead, you work as an office worker and you are so focused with your work that you don't even bother to text your best friend, Shinichiro Sano, on your flip phone to ask how he is doing.
Your feelings and the desire to confess to Shinichiro are gradually slipping away because you've always been so busy, working endlessly to earn your wage without taking breaks. You don't even feel like a human at all; you feel like a robot who works nonstop simply to maintain financial stability. You wanted to run away from the torment known as "Work," but you realize that you are Twenty-three and you are required to "Work” and sacrifice your mental health.
However, there was a time when you had your day off in your small apartment and suddenly broke down. You  rushed to open the flip phone and read all the texts from Shinichiro while sobbing just to calm down.
‘Why did I suddenly keep on Ignoring his messages ? I would always respond to his message as always, this isn't me at all. Am I this workaholic?’
Y/n questions herself while sobbing and reading Shinichiro’s messages.
Suddenly Y/n breathed slowly and her sobbing was gone now and suddenly pressed the call application.
While the phone was ringing, she abruptly placed the flip phone's head to her right ear as she awaited his call.
“Hey Y/n! It’s been two months you haven’t responded to my messages? Did something happen?”
"Nothing. I was working nonstop. I apologize, Shinichiro. I'm truly sorry.”
Her eyes are yet again leaking, and she sobs once more while biting her thumb and holding her fist close to her mouth.
Y/n’s sobs were heard on the phone as Shinichiro gulped.
“Y/n are you crying?”
He said in a worried tone.
“I’m very sorry, I couldn’t respond to your messages, I was ve-”
“Hey It's alright I understand that. I'm glad you have a job, but please don't work yourself to death, isn't that terrible for your health?”
“I guess?”
“I see but please, don’t overwork that much and I’m glad you still remembered me.”He giggled.
“I wish I can see you again in person. I hope I can meet you at Mikey's birthday.”
“I’ll try to attend if I won’t be busy. I promise.”
Her lips curved and her cheeks rose a bit.
After that one call, Y/n’s feelings for him were back and she was cheerful while working again and again.
“Y/n-san why are you suddenly cheerful this week? Did something happen?”
Her co-worker said.
“Ah, It’s nothing I’m just really happy that my salary is getting hi- woops”
She laughed out loud while her co-worker reacted to her perplexedly.
“Also I have to go, I need to prepare for tomorrow.”
“Prepare for what Y/n san?”
“Uh, let's say I’m gonna prepare for a date.”
Her cheeks rose.
"I see goodluck Y/n san! Also can I finish the remaining papers so you don't have to worry so much on Wednesday? ”
“Yeah sure, thank you so much for the help Aoi!”
She smiled as she waved her hands goodbye and sprinted far away.
“No problem…”
August 15, 2003
‘This Is it! This is the day where I can visit Shinichiro! I can’t wait to tell something for him’
The phone beside her rang.
‘Unknown number?’
She quickly pressed the answer button and placed the phone near her ear.
“Hello, may I know who I am talking to?”
“Are you Y/N L/N? My grandson, Shinichiro’s friend?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’m sorry to say but Shinichiro passed away.”
She was speechless when she heard that line. “Shinichiro passed away.” and suddenly end the call.
She felt weak that her knees touched the cold floor and tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Shinichiro why?! Just why?!”
She sobbed and sobbed, starting to feel that it was pointless to be happy later on.
You didn’t even attend his funeral ceremonies because you were back from being workaholic so you can cope with his death but your co-worker Aoi suddenly reminded you to visit his grave.
“Would you stop reminding me that Aoi?”
"Y/n-san, but it was on your to-do list to go to his grave. I know Your friend’s death was painful for you to accept, but go to his grave at least once, I'm sure he'll be upset if you don't."
“Overworking won’t ease the pain Y/n-san.”
“Fine I will. Just tell boss I’m gonna visit my friend’s grave”
She gritted her teeth while her tears started to fall. Again.
After several minutes, she went from the cemetery where Shinichiro Sano was buried based on the letter without bringing anything except her wallet.
Nobody was there,It was silent.
You clench your fist in front to the grave as the sun cast shadows across the upright gravestones and the wind whistled through your hair.
The silence broke when your knees and fists felt the ground and you sobbed loudly again.
“I WISHED I WAS A JOBLESS BITCH LIKE YOU! I WISH I WENT THERE EARLIER! I JUST WISHED I CO-”
A loud sobbed was heard from her mouth.
“I just wished…I just told you I loved you earlier before I had a job!”
"OKAY, I REALLY LOVED YOU! I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU SINCE WE WERE RUNNING THE BLACK DRAGON! I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WAY BACK, EVEN BEFORE WE REACHED OUR TWENTIES! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GAVE ME HOPE TO LIVE, BUT WHAT NOW?! WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING WHEN YOU'RE GONE, AND WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING THIS WHEN YOU'RE...DEAD? ”
She shouted as she held her knees to chest.
You sat there silently gazing like you were thinking too deep and your under eye taking over your eyes due to how many times you cried.
You cannot accept his death, I mean who would if they heard the news their loved ones died. You cannot accept it you just can’t you were questioning how can he die so early that you reach into being suicidal.
“What If I Die with you?”
“Would that be nice? We can be together…”
Suddenly a very cold wind touched your shoulders.
“I love you too Y/n. No matter how hard life is, I’ll be there watching over you.”
You hear a gentle voice that sounds like Shinichiro and you suddenly tilt your head left to right, nobody was there.
After being silent, sitting on the cold ground your lips curled slowly.
You realized that… It wasn’t late to confess.
END
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wrienne · 1 year
Text
My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé
Chapter 33: Jeon Jung-Hyun
Considering how much light Yoongi had shed over the whole Park Yi-Jae and Jungkook situation, one would have thought you would see Jungkook differently. Which you did. Only, not in the way you would have expected from yourself a month ago - when you hadn't gotten to know Jungkook’s amnesic self, and presumably the self he had been around the members of BTS.
Perhaps even the way he had been with Yi-Jae.
No, you weren't angry with Jungkook. Despite his previous attitude toward you, you felt for him.
But you didn’t act upon that notion.
In fact, you couldn’t deny the feeling that some kind of barrier had been erected between the two of you. Ever since that evening with BTS, when you had been struck with the realization that your presence, soon, would be obsolete in Jungkook’s world, the first few figurative bricks had been laid. And while you kept straight-faced - as did he - you couldn’t help but feel him slipping ever so slightly out of your reach.
And toward his dreams.
Almost a week had passed since you had met secretly with Yoongi. Jungkook had left everyday to practice with his group members, coming home later and sweatier with each passing day. He had told you as well as his hyungs that he would pull through, but seeing his already weary face grow ever wearier by each passing day, you asked yourself whether it was truly worth it. Whether he could afford risking his health over his career - or not.
Whichever the case, you knew what Jungkook’s reply to that would be. So you refrained from getting involved, focusing on your studies - and trying to ignore Se-Eun’s inquisitive but silent gazes - instead.
It was another Friday afternoon already, and you were on your way home from university, stuck in traffic with Jong-Yeol, who was crooning along to the radio quietly. You were browsing through the frontpage of a celebrity news site - something you had made a habit out of lately, for obvious reasons - and had found an article about ESStar’s comeback teaser trailer when an unknown number called you. After first gesturing for Jong-Yeol to lower the volume on the radio, you pressed your phone to your ear and answered.
“Hello?” you said.
“Greetings,” replied a male voice, stiff and somber and unfamiliar. “Have I reached (Y/F/N)?"
You frowned slightly at the almost official inquiry, briefly considering the chance that you had been contacted by some kind of seller, despite your phone company’s insurance. “This is she,” you said, hesitance tinging your voice.
“Ah.” The person let out a curt hum in understanding. “I take it you haven’t heard from your father yet. Perhaps I called too early.”
“What? Who--” you began, when you felt the metal of your phone vibrate between your fingers and your cheek. “Uh, just a moment,” you said into the lower end of the device, temporarily backing out of the call to check your notifications. It was a text from your mother.
*16.01 - Your father had an incident today. We’re currently at a hospital, which is why I haven’t been able to call you. Tell Jung-Hyun we won’t be able to make it to Seoul.*
Eyes wide, you furiously texted back, a deep dread curling within your stomach.
*16.01 - Incident? What the heck do you mean by that?*
A response came immediately, suggesting your mother had been typing it beforehand.
*16.01 - We had synchronized our flights, but we had to cancel ours at the last second. You’re an adult now, you should be able to handle a situation like this, easily. I’ll hopefully be able to call later this evening for an update.*
Before you could grow even more agitated, and type in a reply your teachers definitely wouldn’t have approved of, your mother sent you another message.
*16.01 - I’m sorry for putting this on you, (Y/N). And don’t worry about your father. He will be alright.*
You heard a faint “Excuse me?” from the phone, which brought you back to the situation at hand. After sending your mother some angry but concerned few choice of words, you pressed the cool surface of your phone against your ear again.
“I forgot to read his message. I was at school.” You shook your head at the lie as you hoped to shake away your fear as well. “I’m sorry, I’ll get to you as soon as possible. Are you at Incheon?”
“Ah, yes.”
“To Incheon,” you told Jong-Yeol, who frowned but nodded to show his comprehension. “It’ll probably take at least two hours in this traffic,” you then said apologetically into your phone. “Probably more, though.”
“It is alright.”
“Yeah, okay. Sorry, still.” You swallowed, cutting yourself off. “See you soon, I guess.”
“Goodbye.”
He ended the conversation. You reclined against the seat with a long exhale, your arm falling to your side. Jong-Yeol glanced at you through the rear-view mirror with an inquisitive look, and you explained the change of plans.
And then it was time for you to call Jungkook.
“Mh?” He answered almost immediately. “Make it quick, I’m in the middle of a match.”
You rolled your eyes. Sometime during the week that had progressed, Taehyung had pointed out Jungkook’s passion for a computer game you had occasionally heard of, only due to its creators being famous for making StarCraft. You had hoped it would reignite an old memory, but to no avail - Jungkook hadn’t reacted at all. Still, he at least seemed interested in the game, much as he once was.
“I’ll be home late today,” you said, biting back both the frustration and the overwhelming sense of worry that bubbled up over the newfound situation. “I… I am on my way to Incheon to pick up Jung-Hyun-oppa right now.”
You had considered telling Jungkook immediately of your father’s “incident” that apparently was dire enough for hospitalization, but thought better of it. He had enough on his plate already. Despite this being one of your worst nightmares come true, you didn’t have to make it worse by subjecting Jungkook to that same nightmare.
“Jung-Hyun?” You could practically sense Jungkook stiffening through the line. “He’s here?”
“He is,” you said intelligently, in lack of a better response.
“Is he staying with us?”
It was odd, how it warmed inside your chest at the way Jungkook had said “us”. It was odd, how you would have given him a harsh retort, or perhaps snorted and made a sharp joke in response just over a month ago.
It was odd, how your heart was aching with longing for someone you knew you would do best to stay away from. If not for you, at least for him.
He had a life to return to. He was returning to that.
“I don’t know,” you answered, scratching the side of your nose. “But you’ll have to eat dinner on your own, probably.”
“I’ll wait.”
You smiled a little, glad that Jungkook couldn’t see your expression. “Suit yourself,” you said as casually as you could.
You heard him snort lightly. “Tell him I said hi,” he said.
“Don’t you want to meet him?” you asked with a frown. “At least for a moment.”
“As much as I do,” he said cryptically, “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not right now, at least.”
“How come?”
“I need to make sure I don’t do or say something… rashly."
Your frown deepened. “About what?”
He paused, and you sensed hesitance in the silence before his reply. “Your marriage,” he then said bluntly. “Among else.”
You almost dropped your phone, inhaling sharply at Jungkook’s words. Jong-Yeol gave you a concerned look, which you did your outmost to try and ignore.
“Jungkook,” you started.
“Don’t, please. I already know what you’re going to say. And it’s not about… you and me, so don’t even go there. I’m merely going to be the best kind of friend - and future brother-in-law - that I can be.”
Your jaw slackened. You hadn’t given a single thought about how you and Jungkook’s relationship would change with the marriage. Too busy focusing on the practically forced union whatsoever, the fact that Jungkook would become family, your brother , was… inconceivable, to say the least.
“I mean, it isn’t every day that someone I know gets married. Least of all my brother.”
“Why the wait then?” you found yourself asking.
He didn’t respond for a long while. You merely sat there in the back of the latest Audi model, cursing your quick tongue yet admittedly waiting, expecting… something.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Jungkook finally. “I’ll see you later.”
“Okay,” you said in forfeit, despite knowing both of you had done well over stepped across the hazy boundaries of you and his relationship. “Bye.”
“Yeah.”
Jungkook hung up before you, and you lowered your phone to your lap. You needed to get your feelings in order, and you needed to do that before reaching Incheon. You were tired after the day, but the frantic beating of your heart pumped fresh adrenaline into your system.
Adrenaline, which was caused by the nerve-wracking prospect of meeting your new fiancé, and in the backdrop of your father’s incident and Jungkook’s reluctance.
Jeon Jung-Hyun. The age difference notwithstanding, you and he had never once been particularly close. Jung-Hyun had always kept his distance from the rest of his family - and thanks to Jungkook’s explanation, you now knew why - meaning you rarely saw him anymore than once a year while growing up, namely during Chuseok or the Chinese New Year. In fact, the last you had heard or seen from him was at least five, six years ago, after which he left for Harvard and then directly to the military. Consequently, and if your memory served you correctly, this meant that Jung-Hyun hadn’t seen you since you were around fourteen.
And of course, you couldn’t forget the most important part - you two were engaged, or to be engaged. You weren’t sure whether he knew about the grand plan of your inheritance or not.
But oh well, did it even matter by now?
So, to say that it was a nervous two hours and a half journey to Incheon airport would have been a grave understatement. You were frantic, and almost as jumpy as you had been on your ride to the hospital the night of Jungkook’s accident. Without the protection of your jacket, your hand would have ended up scratching up the skin on your arm by the time you spotted the grand airport.
Forty minutes - and a call and a hectic search - later, Jong-Yeol drove up to one of the many entrances and exits available for non-commercial use. You gazed out of the tinted car window, but couldn’t see any familiar figures in the flood of people passing in and out of the automatic doors. You were just about to call when Jong-Yeol pointed someone out.
“Over there,” he said, “inside the smoking booth to the left of the exit doors. Do you see him?”
You took off your seatbelt to lean forward into the space left between the two front seats, leaning your weight onto the compartment connecting them. “Where?” you asked as you surveyed the area.
Jong-Yeol gestured toward a smoking booth where a handful of people stood inside. “There. The tall one, in leather jacket.”
Your eyes narrowed as you found and scrutinized the figure. You couldn’t see his face, at least not from your angle. “I don’t know if that’s him… has he always been that broad-shouldered?”
“The military can do wonders to bodies,” said Jong-Yeol dryly. “Try calling him.”
“Okay.”
Setting your phone on speakers, you regarded the person intently from where you were, the monotonous dialing tone filling the silence of the car. The figure in the smoking booth shifted his weight from side to side on the second peep , and you watched him exit the booth after first extinguishing his cigarette. He wore a worn backpack slung over his left shoulder, and readjusted his grip of his additionally burdened suitcase before he uncovered his phone and held it up to his right ear.
“Hello?” It was the same stiff, somber voice as before.
“We’re here,” you said, leaning back into your seat. “In the black Audi to your right.”
He had been gazing in another direction, but now turned as he had been instructed. You couldn’t really discern any significant features from that distance, but your heart jumped a little at how a pair of eyes incredibly similar to Jungkook’s surveyed the car.
“You’re looking right at it,” you said, hoping you sounded encouraging and… well, normal.
“Alright.” His mouth moved. “I’ll be right there."
The guy started walking toward the car, and you nodded to Jong-Yeol, who went out to meet him and help him with his luggage. You should have probably went out to meet him as well, but you had reached a point of anxiousness in where you couldn’t even look in his direction anymore. Instead, you stared out of the window on your side of the rear passenger seats. With your hands balling into tight fists, you listened to the thuds of luggage moving into the trunk, accompanied by the muffled voices of Jong-Yeol and the owner of the stiff voice. It took longer than expected as the thuds faded but their muffled voices did not, but then again, Jong-Yeol had always preferred the older of the brothers.
Then, finally, the left door to the rear passenger seats opened.
It was with an easy sigh that someone slumped down onto the seat. The smell of outside, leather and travel, mixed with a foreign combination of expensive cologne and smoke wafted to your nose. You wrinkled it. Then, forcing a smile to your lips, you tore your eyes away from the darkening spring sky and glanced to your left.
Jung-Hyun had a facial structure that appeared more mature, masculine than his baby brother, with a broad jaw and just as large, but much straighter nose. His cheeks had since long lost the purity and roundness of childhood, and his naturally thin lips, which were set in a straight line, signaled the loss of the naivety and overconfidence of adolescence. Jung-Hyun’s cropped, black hair was unstyled, and a light stubble shadowed the area around his mouth, toward his ears. But despite not having seen him for years, there was a strong sense of familiarity to his features. Anyone, with but one look, could see that Jungkook and him were close relatives. It was particularly noticeable in the way their eyes were set and the color that they were.
They almost reminded you too much of Jungkook.
“Jung-Hyun-oppa,” you said, probably overly cheerily. “Long time, no see.”
In contrast with both pre-amnesic and post-amnesic Jungkook, Jung-Hyun glanced at you without much emotion at all. There was not a single drop of friendliness, or hostility. His brown eyes were much more analytical than his brother’s, however, and there was an evident moment of scrutiny from his side, where he regarded you from head to toe. It went on for so long, you started feeling self-conscious, as if your casualwear and regular hairstyle and makeup somehow wasn’t worthy Jung-Hyun’s presence. It was outrageous, you knew. But you couldn’t remember the last time you had felt as unsure as you were just then.
“(Y/N),” he said finally, his somber, stiff voice balancing at the very edge of politeness. “It’s been a while.”
You opened your mouth to respond when Jong-Yeol abruptly entered the driver’s seat, cutting you off. Resisting your urge to scratch your arm, you waited until Jong-Yeol had turned on the radio before you refocused on Jung-Hyun.
His eyes hadn’t moved even a centimetre from yours during that small but significant span.
“I hope you didn’t have to wait for very long,” you said as you shifted in your seat. The Audi wasn’t a humongous city jeep or some sort of big car like that. It was slender, built for style and luxury, and so, the proximity to Jung-Hyun couldn’t have been farther than an arm’s length. “Do you… have you had dinner yet?"
“Yes.” Jung-Hyun turned away from you, aiming his attention instead toward the passing view of the outside.
You almost let out a breath of relief. “Ah, okay. Do you have a place to stay?”
“I’ve booked a room at a hotel in Jangchung. Jong-Yeol is taking us there right now,” he added before you could probe for further information in order to instruct Jong-Yeol yourself.
“We won’t be there until twenty-two, at least,” you said and, before you could stop yourself, went on. “Though later, if you want to meet Jungkook first.”
As much as you respected Jungkook and acknowledged that the complicated relationship you two had hardly needed more pressure, you felt as if though you owed his brother an opportunity to meet him. In addition to that, Jungkook, with his amnesia, probably didn’t remember much of Jung-Hyun, apart from him having departed for Harvard during one of his flashes of remembrance. But since Jung-Hyun was his family member, perhaps he could aid in reawakening Jungkook’s memories. It wasn’t the kindest thing you could do, but you and Jungkook were on a time leash - and you had already spent a month without much progress in regard to Jungkook’s recovery.
“No.”
Roused from your reverie, you shook your head, your tone incredulous. “Wait, what?”
Jung-Hyun didn’t look at you. “I have a deadline for a vital document this evening.”
He had brought with his backpack into the rear passenger seat, and no sooner had the words left his lips when he, all of a sudden, unpacked a laptop without a particular brand from it. He placed the computer onto his lap and his eyes sank deep into whatever had appeared on screen.
Surprised by his callous reply and following action, you were left wordless. You didn’t pry, however, afraid that you would disturb him in… well, whatever that document might entail. As far as you knew, Jung-Hyun wasn’t employed at a company - or even at all - but that might be because he had been freelancing while overseas. He was probably going to be scouted by Hyundai or even Samsung again, which meant whatever the “document” consisted of, probably was of a huge importance.
Instead, you left the silence where it lay, leaning your head against the rear window as you listened absentmindedly to the familiar, background noise that was Jong-Yeol’s humming and the radio. You closed your eyes, and although it felt as if a mere few seconds had passed, you found yourself roused brusquely by Jong-Yeol, who had parked in front of a tall building with a fountain outside, the name of the hotel branded above its heavy-looking entrance doors.
Jong-Yeol called your name again, then peered in through the opened car door by the driver’s seat, standing firmly with both feet outside. “You’ve drooled,” he said as he spotted you, and tapped himself on his chin.
“I have not,” you blurted, your hand immediately flying up to cover your mouth. Your skin was safely dry.
Jong-Yeol snickered. “Right there. Wipe it off and hurry up. Jung-Hyun’s having a smoke right now, but is leaving right after.”
You glanced to your left, which, sure enough, was empty. “I’ll be right out.”
He nodded and shut the car door as he stepped away from the vehicle, starting toward the rear.
After making sure you hadn’t actually drooled, you unceremoniously freed yourself from your seat. You opened the door on your side of the rear passenger seat, leaning out with your eyes still a bit bleary and with a faint numbness across your right cheek. The cool air of Seoul was unmistakable, as well as the trace of cigarette smoke coming from nearby. The thudding of luggage toward the back of the car attracted your attention, and you began rising - but was interrupted when your pocket vibrated.
The screen of your phone displayed your mother’s name. In addition to that, you spotted on the notification wall one missed a call from Jungkook in addition to two texts from him. It was already 21.59, but you couldn’t spare time to reply to Jungkook. Sleep had done nothing to melt the block of ice that was the concern you had for your father. You weren’t even hungry.
“Mom,” you said loud enough for Jong-Yeol and Jung-Hyun to hear, and then closed yourself inside the car. “How’s dad?” It felt as if though there was glass embedded along the insides of your throat as you gulped, the wave of the motion hurting with every inch it traveled down your windpipe.
“He’s alive and well.”
Your mother’s voice was uncharacteristically mild, which only proved to make the ice block harder. “You’re not lying to me, are you?”
“Of course not,” she said disdainfully, his tone sharpening in an instant. “Don’t be ridiculous, (Y/N). Your father is fine.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“He’s asleep, snoring like only he can.”
You heard an unfamiliar few noises in the background, and furrowed your brows. “You’re still at the hospital.”
“Indeed, we are.”
“What happened?” you demanded.
She sighed. It was a long sigh, bordering on a forceful exhale - and you knew it was bad.
“Your father had a heart attack.”
You inhaled sharply. “And you call that a mere incident?” you asked angrily. “He could have died! Why didn’t you tell me immediately?”
“Don’t be dramatic,” said your mother.
“I do think,” you began indignantly, “that a heart attack warrants me one of the few poor opportunities I might ever have to actually be dramatic. How is he?”
“He’s as fine as one can be after something like that.”
“Mom!” Your eyes widened with shock at the almost nonchalant way she had responded. “This is dad we’re talking about!”
“(Y/N), I--”
“Where did it happen? Are there going to be consequences? What can we--"
“Listen, (Y/N),” she cut off, her voice hardening into iron. “Your father needs someone to lean on right now. I have got to be strong in this situation. Can you understand that?”
“I can,” you said through gritted teeth. “But--”
“Then stop worrying,” interrupted your mother. “It won’t do your father any good.”
“It’s not like I can control my emotions!” you protested.
“Stop yelling into the phone like a little child,” she ordered wearily. “You’re the heiress of Phoenix Inc., a multimillion dollar company with thousands of employees across Asia. Do you realize the weight of your burden?”
Your mother’s choice of word, “burden”, startled you. Though your father, at rare occasions, voiced his displeasure over some business venture gone wrong, your mother never faltered. She had never expressed anything else than utter devotion to the company. Nevertheless, your answer came as rebellious. “Obviously,” you responded.
“Have some reason then, (Y/N), and some dignity and self-control.”
This stoked the furious fire burning in your chest, and you snorted in distaste. If only she - or anyone else in the world, really - knew how much you had honed yourself in the art of self-control, she would have never even considered saying what she just had said. But you swallowed your reignited wrath, knowing you had a duty to fulfill with Jung-Hyun. He had probably finished smoking soon, anyway.
“I’m hanging up,” you said coolly as you managed to rein in a majority of your anger.
“No, you aren’t. Have you met with Jung-Hyun as I told you to?”
“Of course,” you said venomously. You stepped out of the car, desperate for some air - even with the defile of smoke - and slammed the car door after you. You turned away from the curious look you got from Jong-Yeol, as well as the inspection of two familiar-yet-not-familiar, brown eyes.
“Good. That’s good. How is his report faring?”
You leaned against the car with a frown. “‘Report’?” you echoed.
“Yes, report.” She sounded irritated. “Is the line poor?”
“No, I heard you loud and clear,” you replied, still confused. “But why would you ask me to ask him about that?” The furrow between your eyes deepened. “Wait, how even did you know he’s working on something like a report?”
“He--”
Your mother cut herself off, but you heard her voice, muffled, as if though she was holding a hand over the phone or pressing it against some fabric, speak with someone else. It took almost a minute before she returned, her voice now a hundred times softer. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who she had been talking to.
“You’re making me wake your father,” she said. “He’s stirring an awful lot now.”
Though it was obviously meant to spite you, you couldn’t feel even a hint of anger or annoyance. “Sorry,” you said, just as gently as her.
“I’ll have him call you in the morning.”
Sensing the end of the conversation, you nodded. “You can call anytime. I’ll be awake.”
“Don’t be foolish, (Y/N).” Your mother snorted as kindly as one could expect your mother could snort. “I know your schedule. Rest.”
“I--”
“Rest,” she repeated. “And thank you for taking care of Jung-Hyun.”
“Speaking of,” you blurted, impatient, “what were you about to say? You knew about his report because…?”
“I have to make some important calls, (Y/N),” she said in her typical tone. “Ask him instead.”
“But--”
She had already hung up. With an infuriated groan, you practically shoved your phone into your pocket. You were tempted to kick the curb, or perhaps take a swing at the trash can by the fountain, or even yell - but you abstained. The physical health of your body notwithstanding, you couldn’t have your audience of two start to inquire about your mental health.
Because if they did, so would you.
“(Y/N).”
It came from directly behind you, and you hadn’t even heard him approach you. Fortunately, you managed to pull your face into what you hoped was a pleasant guise, even though you whipped about fast enough for anyone to realize your bewilderment. “What?” you yelped rather than said.
This close, you doubtlessly felt how his height allowed him to utterly tower over a majority of females. Jung-Hyun stared down at you. He was inhaling deeply through his cigarette, which, judging by its length, probably was his second or perhaps even third since Jong-Yeol had parked. His brown eyes regarded you for a beat extra, during which he slowly, almost intentionally slowly, lowered his cigarette and blew out the toxic, gray fumes through the right corner of his mouth. Strangely, you fleetingly noted that you couldn’t smell it as much anymore.
Though you couldn’t discern even a hint of sympathy or concern in Jung-Hyun’s gaze, you could almost sense his brain working, pondering, questioning… something. And that something, you couldn’t wrap your head around no matter how hard you concentrated. It didn’t help that the shape and color of his eyes were so incredibly similar to Jungkook’s, distracting you from truly thinking.
Jung-Hyun tapped the cigarette with his index finger, causing the gray pillar of ash to crumble and catch onto the wind. “You’re angry,” he said in his stiff, somber voice.
“It’s nothing,” you said as you raised a dismissive hand. “I should probably go though. You have your things?”
“I do.”
“And the document you worked on earlier…” You fumbled for half a breath as you struggled for a way to ask him in a non-obtrusive way. “How come mom knew about it?”
Jung-Hyun took another drag of his cigarette, then allowed the smoke to escape, again, through the right corner of his mouth. “It’s meant for her and your father to review.”
Your eyes rounded. “Don’t tell me…”
Jung-Hyun was silent, cigarette in mouth. In fact, he seemed to wait for you to continue, but you couldn’t. You were completely stunned.
“I’ve been offered employment at Phoenix Inc.,” he told you after his odd way of exhaling smoke. “The document was more of a report of my accolades and previous work experience. Along the lines of a CV, though much less formal, since I’ve already been included. It’s more of a way for your parents to see in which department I may put my skills to optimal use.”
“But why our company?” you wondered. “Samsung is a considerably larger fish.”
“You know the reason.”
Jung-Hyun suddenly turned around, seemingly satisfied with concluding the exchange at simply that. He went to grab his stuff, which Jong-Yeol guarded from eventually malicious passersby, but you hurried past him.
Unsatisfied with his dodgy answer, you stopped him by holding up a hand. You grimaced, as the stifling smell of cigarette smoke unexpectedly hit you like a smack in the face, as well as the very faintest of an unfamiliar but definitely male perfume.
“I’m so tired of people making all these grand exits,” you muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. “Now.” You cleared your throat, as you simultaneously tried not to breathe in the smoke from Jung-Hyun’s cigarette. “Explain, please.”
Jung-Hyun didn’t even blink. His tone didn’t change. He barely moved his lips as he replied.
“We’re getting married.”
And with that, he walked past you, took his luggage and headed toward the hotel entrance. It was in that moment you realized two things. Firstly, Jung-Hyun had intentionally approached you and remained in an angle which allowed him breathe out his cigarette smoke in the direction of the wind, thus carrying the smoke away from you. Secondly, you had actually met someone whose emotional state was more difficult to read than Yoongi or even Jungkook. Who would have thought, that it would be someone as close to your life as Jungkook’s older brother?
And that in this twist of fate that was Jungkook’s accident, that you would have to marry said brother?
Ah. Destiny - and the universe - had absolutely no mercy on you.
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svgvrvs · 8 months
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I am asking for essentially confrontation / reassurance because I’m absolutely terrified.
I’m semi new to the fandom and was I guess looking for jjk content online and I saw a thread on Reddit of interviews Gege did confirming Gojo was straight. I found it interesting because I didn’t know Gege did interviews. I asked a mutual of mine who lives in Japan and speaks the language if it was legit and she let me know it was. I thought it would be cool to post it. I didn’t have any malicious intent I just thought it was cool.
Immediately I got swarmed with messages calling me the n word. Saying I was homophobic and deserved to die. Someone made a comment of maybe slaves were the best place for people like me.
Majority of people came to my defense and said that it’s been confirmed Gojo was straight multiple times and that certain people get mad when it’s brought up.
I ended up deleting the post because honestly it was hell. But I’m left so unsettled as like I said I’m new here. Is this what this fandom is like?
I don’t understand if it’s canon and confirmed by Gege why does it make people so mad?
I just don’t understand and this is awful.
disclaimer: i resent discourse and i refuse to interact with anything related to it, with the rare exception of asks like this. if you disagree with anything i say in this post, please feel free to block me and move on.
i’m so sorry this happened to you. i’ve experienced something quite similar—i hc’d a character as queer and some people did not like that. though the reaction i got was on a much lower scale than what you’re experiencing now, it was still incredibly distressing, and i truly feel for you.
to answer your first question, i haven’t personally experienced much if any toxicity in the jjk fandom, but unfortunately it does exist, as it does in pretty much every fandom. i can’t speak for the whole fandom because i’m not really involved in it outside the specific niche i inhabit here on tumblr (that being x reader fanfic), but this corner of tumblr has been really kind to me so far.
as for your second question, i'm not really qualified to explain the whole sociological phenomenon. so instead i'll just say the reason some people get so upset over this kind of thing (despite them still being free as a bird to contradict other opinions and imagine the character however they wish) is that they're just chronically online.
now i've never cared enough to go looking for canon confirmation of gojo's sexuality, but assuming what you found is legit, if all you did was post about the fact that gege made a statement on the subject, then you did nothing wrong. i obviously haven't seen your post, so i can't say anything for certain, but i doubt there was actual cause to call you out.
but regardless of any alleged homophobia, there is no rhyme, reason, or justification for the shit these pricks said to you. to fight against one group’s oppression while perpetuating another’s is utterly nonsensical. i can only assume that they don’t actually care about opposing homophobia, and they’re just mad and looking for an excuse to start a fight and be not only cruel but just straight up racist.
the bottom line is that fandom discourse is just super toxic (i recommend actively avoiding it, and if you can't then pay exactly zero attention to it). fictional characters are exactly that: fictional. they can be interpreted, perceived, portrayed and imagined however we want. picking fights with random strangers and sending them hate mail over benign headcanons just because they contradict their own view is completely unacceptable, and people who do this need to grow up.
it's completely understandable that you would be shaken up by this whole ordeal. it can be so scary, especially when you can't even figure out why they reacted so poorly, and when the shitty messages just won't stop coming. i really wish we could all just collectively agree to stop with the aggression and toxicity that comes with discourse bc like who even benefits from this??
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cameliawrites · 9 months
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OH IM SORRY I JUST SAW THAT YOU REBLOGGED AN I CAN SEE YOU KANEJ AU THING LOL. Pls ignore my ranting to it, I just came straight to your tumblr and didn’t see it 😂😂😂
Don’t be sorry! The fact that you came running to my blog to talk about a kanej-coded Taylor Swift song is truly the highest honor and EXACTLY the kind of blog ask box I want to cultivate. 😂 I haven’t been online a bunch these past two months because of work, but getting messages and comments from my online friends is always the most lovely surprise, so thank you. 💗
To answer your question from the first ask—yes, I am a swiftie/Taylor Swift fan. Fearless Tour 2009 was my first concert, and the Eras Tour will be my next! And I actually ran a Taylor Swift-themed tumblr for almost a decade before I began this blog. 😂 So calling myself a fan might be a bit of an understatement, if anything.
And I’m so honored that you were thinking of a fic I wrote as you were listening to her song! I assume you were referring to this fic that I wrote last year? I haven’t gone back to that one in a while, but I can definitely see the connection—it’s quite spicy by my standards, and only because @alltheworldsinmyhead was challenging me to write that, which is why I gifted the fic to her. 😂
I’ve definitely had a few inklings of new oneshot ideas this week (and listening to “I Can See You” on repeat definitely only contributes to my romantic musings), but I’m trying really hard to finish drafting a longer fic that I’ve been working on for a while about Inej’s mom. So who knows what’s coming next! 🤷‍♀️😅
Thanks for your messages!
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deathvsthemaiden · 3 years
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My hearts hurt so BAD and I have so much WORK to do and so little TIME and my tepid sitcom has GROWN on me literally what’s a gal to do when her remaining assignments r stumping her and summer break is so close she can taste it and she aches all over and is fasting and her dad is acting childish and carelessly callously putting a giant damper upon the household vibes 😖🙄
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mammonswhore · 3 years
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Soo what if the MC was suicidal and depressed, so when the boys threaten then and stuff (like how lucifer was gonna kill them when protecting beel and luke) and they don't care or they ask them to do it no balls xD
I like this prompt bc they will be like fucking shocked if MC was not afraid of them. Anyways always remember to check on your mental health🖤♥
Brothers react to an MC who doesn't care about dying.
✒Lucifer
He was in complete shock. Every individual who he threatened was quick to apologize and surrender to his will but this human wasn't?
He dislikes that type of attitude but is also very curious about what happened to them to be this way.
When MC tried to climb up to the attic and he threatened them they just simply said "you know anything can kill me,right? You are not special for that one,Lucifer"
What the actual fuck is going on here?
He forced them to leave anyways but he was thinking about their response all night.
No one talked back to him besides Satan and Belphie and the first person out of his family talking back to him was human. A human! He was annoyed to say the least.
When the relationship between him and MC progressed he become more concerned about it.
He tried to get the truth out of them subtly and without acting suspicious or worried but when they finally said "Lucifer if you want to ask me something, do it. Don't try to get answers out of me that way,it won't work"
When they finally revealed that they were not worried about dead because it will get to them anyway,Lucifer was sad.
He was not only sad because he knew that MC was going to die but because they were not a little bit worried about it.
A sudden wave of sadness gets into Lucifer's chest and he proceeds to hug his lover and tells them that he will take them to therapy.
✒Mammon
He was very happy about MC not caring about dying at first since he couldn't care less and he never properly threatened them as well so they never got to talk back at him.
But once when they were escaping from two witches,MC got hurt and they didn't care at all. Like they literally didn't say shit about the wound on their leg and it took Mammon almost half an hour to realize that the blood he was smelling it was from their wound.
"MC WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? ARE YOU DUMB? COME ONE,HUMAN! W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? I'M GOING TO HELP YOU,FUCK!"
Very stressed out about it,starts yelling about how they need to be careful with their lives because they are weaker than the average and things like it.
"Mammon I don't care about death,I'm kinda craving for it at this point"
His face drops. A sudden feeling he couldn't recognize was placing on him. He was worried but it was not the type he was used to feel around them.
The single thought of MC dying send shivers down his back. He was borried and it was not because Lucifer would kill him but because he couldn't stand that thought.
"Don't go saying things like that,MC... I don't want you to die,human"
He hugs them kinda afraid they might order him to let them die right there.
He is going to look for help and tell Lucifer about it so they both can keep an eye on MC in case of anything.
✒Levi
His first thought when he heard MC saying they wanted to die was "honestly same."
When he was about to kill them on the TSL quizz thing they didn't even flinch. They were not about to run,hide or beg.
When Lucifer stepped in,Levi was fucking shocked but angry at the same time.
"Damn normie,who do they think they are?"
When both of them formed a pact he became more worried about their health,not because they were his master but also his only friend and he was not about to loose them for some stupid shit.
When they hurt doing some stupid shit with him Levi freaks out and has a mini meltdown but tries his best to control his emotions to help his Henry.
"Stupid normie... Can't you be more careful? Dumb,dumb,dumb human... Agh"
He is mad but he is more worried than he is mad so he is trying his best to ask them how are they so stupid without being rude.
He became more careful with his words since he thought that maybe a little push will send them over the edge and make them commit suicide.
Very sharp when others point out that he takes care of them,gets defensive easily and will lock both of them in his room for a while.
✒Satan
He can not properly understand what's going on with them. His first thought is that they are very much dumb.
Gets annoyed by that attitude easily but never looses a chance to asks them if they are really that dumb or if they want to get killed.
"Oh sorry Satan,did my attitude happen to bother you?"
Ugh. The mocking tone in their voice made him furrow his eyebrows and spit venomous words.
"Indeed it does but I can easily understand why are you so reckless,you are defenseless against me and you are still trying to argue with me. I must say you have some guts MC but I don't think it's late for a good reminder that I can kill you easily."
And then they smirked and stepped closer to him with a daring attitude.
"Do it,anything can kill me and I will die eventually so your meaningless threats don't scare me not even a bit."
He was waiting for them to run,to hide and scream for help. But Satan was not expecting that answer.
His demon form unleashed and he was ready to attack but something inside of his his head told him that he was not capable of killing them. And when he realized that he just patted their head and went to his room.
Later on when they made the pact and MC helped him when coming to terms with Lucifer,he was quite scared for their daring attitude.
Every time they went out even if it was with one of his brothers,Satan will check on them with messages or calls every time he could.
To be honest,MC doesn't need this type of checks on them but appreciates it since Satan knows better than anyone how hard it can be to control themselves.
He still gets very pissed off when MC makes snarky comments,dares him for anything or that type of things but he still won't attack them because he loves them way more.
✒Asmo
He is no the type to threaten someone unless they are threatening him first but he was very tired of MC's attitude through the day and he snapped.
"Can't you remember your place,MC? Every single person around can kill you and you still seem to be as sassy as ever."
He was about to apologize with them about his words since he was not the type to talk to them like that but he was surprised when they talked back (again).
"Asmo if you haven't notice I truly don't mind getting killed here,it would be more interesting that dying in the Human Realm to be honest and also everyone is going to die and no one is going to remember me so fuck it."
That was worst. His eyes were very lost trying to figure out where did those words came from? What was going on?
"MC don't day that,please" he whispered very nervous.
Asmo hugged them and calmed himself down. Even for a demon who has seen a lot of people die he was not ready to loose MC and he was also not ready to hear those words fall from their mouth.
"Asmo calm down,please."
"You were joking,right? You don't think that about your life,don't you?"
He might not seem like it but he was completely worried for their health and well being. Being MC the only person he ever considered as a friend and possible lover,he could not stand for what they were saying.
He became more careful with what he said to them and what the others were allowed to say,if someone tried to insult them or make them feel like less he will snap right away of that meant MC will get rid of those awful thoughts.
✒Beelzebub
He threatened them about eating his food but they were unfazed about him,it was the first time he threatened them after making the pact and honestly,his reaction was totally wrong and he knew this and he was ready to apologize but he was shut down by MC's words.
"Do it,I honestly don't care."
What? MC what the hell are you saying?
He calms down and says that they shouldn't say things like that around his brothers because they might explode and actually kill them. He was worried,yes but he was more worried about eating something because his stomach was growling like crazy.
"Why would you say something like that? If it wasn't because we demons can't kill our master you will be dead now,MC."
Beel was stuffing chips into his mouth while watching MC think about an answer, more worried than before.
"I didn't mean to scare you,Beel. But I will die anyways so it's just a matter of time and if someone dared to make it right now I wouldn't stop them."
He feels the chills going through his back, the feeling of loosing someone he loves again was a lot to process and the fact that MC was unfazed and really sure about their words made him feel full suddenly.
"I don't want to loose you,MC. I know that you are a human and all but can't you just take care of yourself a little? I don't want to loose you." *sad beel noises*
Reassuring him that they will try to find help, MC hugs Beel and promises to try to stop this type of comments.
He was still very very worried about them so he was always around keeping an eye and ear on them so no one killed them.
✒Belphie.
This was after the attic events,he was still very unsure about MC's presence on his life but he was hanging on there still getting used to them.
Until they were assigned to wake him up from a 10 hour nap to eat something.
"You dumb human,I will rip your head apart of you wake me up again."
"It's not like if you haven't tried already now wake up and eat something or Lucifer will be pissed."
He was very amused,they were not afraid of him anymore and decided to talk back to him. But he still was shocked to say the least.
The human who he killed once was now giving him orders without a pact or relationship that established that he had to obey them. They had some guts,that was for sure.
When their relationship progressed and he became closer to MC,he was not going to stand for that type of comments.
"MC you can't go around saying that you want to die! It hurts to see you this way, jeez!"
"I can't help it,Belphie. Sometimes my thoughts just slip through my lips without me even trying."
Now that was something he was not expecting to hear. What did they mean? They really wanted to die that bad?
"Listen here you little shit,I already lost you once and I'm not going to loose you again so stop making those stupid comments or I will tell Lucifer to pay you a good therapist... Fucking idiot."
Belphie was worried even if he seems like he was just annoyed by them,he was even mkre worried than what he will like to admit.
942 notes · View notes
nightlychaotic · 2 years
Text
Missed Calls and Collisions
Hey, it’s Marinette. Are you okay? You haven’t replied to any of my messages or texts this past week. I haven’t actually heard from you in the past month except that one time you called me when you were high…. If you want to break up and don’t know how, just tell me. That’d be less painful than whatever…. whatever this is.
Love you.
—--------------------------------------
Marinette stood at the edge of the roof of some building in Gotham City. Looking down, she took a step back feeling the gust of wind hit the back of her legs. It was cold, the bite of the air was welcomed though, pulling her from her thoughts
“Are you okay?”
She spun around, tripping over herself slightly, startled at the sudden voice behind her. Her tumble was stopped short as her new companion steadied her, pulling her back a little from the ledge.
“Sorry for startling you. Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bit of a rough time is all.”
“It’s dangerous being so high up.”
She shrugged. “I was safe enough. The height helps me think. Besides, It looks like I would have been fine if I had fallen.”
“I wouldn’t rely too much on the vigilantes here. We can't be everywhere at once.”
“Who said I would have needed saving?”
“Most people can’t do anything if they fall off of a roof.”
“Who said I was most people? I’m a big girl, I can handle myself. But thank you,” She gave him a small smile as she stepped back, disappearing back inside.
—--------------------------------------
Hey, Adrien.
I’m done. This isn’t working. I’m sorry, Chaton, but this isn;t working. I would love to keep you in my life as a friend but I can’t get over wondering if you love me for me and not just because I’m- no now I’m giving a it’s not you it’s me talk and that’s not what I wanted. Oh gods.
I think we both know this hasn’t been working for a while. I think that’s why you haven’t answered my texts or calls and have been avoiding me for the past couple of weeks. No hard feelings, just- let me know when you get this.
I’d like to say a proper goodbye. I’m leaving. I think Paris isn’t the place for me anymore.
Call me. Please. Don’t just freeze me out of your life.
I’ll always love you. Just- more like a brother. I-
Goodbye, Adrien
—--------------------------------------
Dick will take credit for the collision. He truly wasn’t looking where he was going as he argued with Tim, trying to pry the coffee from his brother’s hands as they turned the corner. Succeeding in his task as Tim pulled away and stopping as Dick continued forward, coffee now in his hand as he collided with someone else.
“I am so sorry. Are you alright, miss?” he asked, picking himself up and offering a hand to help them up.
“I’m fine. Can’t say so much for my fabric but c’est la vie I suppose,” she replied picking up the now coffee soaked fabrics from the ground.
“I can pay for the dry cleaning or replacements.”
“No. No, it's fine. There should be enough salvageable and it won’t be the first coffee stain I’ve had to fight. I knew I should have left this until tomorrow. I should actually be unpacking right now but- I just needed to get out for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am. It’s my fault I should have moved out of the way when I saw you weren’t paying any attention.”
Dick blinked as he looked at her. She seemed familiar but he couldn’t place it as he replied, “It wouldn’t be a problem to help-”
“No. No, it's just not my week. My boyfriend- ex-boyfriend- I broke up with him last week, finally returned my calls with a text after breaking up saying ‘okay’ after everything. So I moved here. Impulsive and now I need to unpack and make a life for myself and move on,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry that was a lot to tell a stranger I- I’m sorry,” she said, picking up her fabrics and giving a tight smile.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bit of a rough time is all. Thank you so much for asking. I’m sorry about your coffee.”
Dick almost smacked himself as she said that. She was the woman at the edge of the roof last night. That’s why she seemed familiar. The second it took him to realize that was all she needed to slip away as Tim shook his head coming to stand next to his brother.
“Nice going, Dick. Perfectly good coffee gone. For nothing.”
—--------------------------------------
Dick would not take the blame for this collision. This one rested purely on Jason, the two grabbing coffee when his brother shot him a grin and tripped him. Dick stumbled into the woman walking past them, barely registering her before she was steadying him with one hand, his coffee securely in her other hand.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” he said, with a grin as he recognized his savior.
She smiled, handing his coffee back. “Fate certainly keeps throwing us together. Here, there may have been a couple drops spilt, but couldn’t be helped.”
“And it seems Lady Luck has smiled upon me today.”
“She certainly is,” she laughed. “I’m Marinette, by the way. If we’re going to keep running into each other we might as well know our names don’t you agree?”
“Dick. I’m Dick. How’s everything going? Was your fabric okay?”
“Fabric was perfectly fine, fully unpacked. Got my website for commissions up and running and am finally back in a good place post break up,” she said, glancing away with that last piece of information.
He smiled as she shared that. “In that case, would you be interested in getting dinner with me at some point?”
“I’d love to. Here let me give you my number.”
Dick happily handed her his phone, watching as she put her contact information and sending herself a quick text with his name.
“There you go! I do need to run but it was nice running into you again, Dick.”
“You too, Marinette.”
“I’ll see you soon!” she called, hurrying off.
He grinned, giving a quick wave to her receding figure before glancing at the contact.
Marinette (Lady Luck) <3
(555) 555-5555
“Unbelievable. I trip you and you get a date,” Jason muttered, coming up beside him.
“What can I say. I guess it was my lucky day.”
78 notes · View notes
myherowritings · 4 years
Text
Maybe It’s Fate
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— After discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. The person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.
pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader word count: 10,531 genre: modern au, social media au
a/n: hihi welcome to part 25 of toya ! ;) the smau is rated 17+ so keep that in mind because it applies to this part too. it’s a bit thicc so i hope it’s able to keep your attention! skksffsd plspls chat with me and let me know what u think once u read! i’m looking forward to the convos ^-^ [edit: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PART LOLOL]
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Of all the dumb decisions you’ve made in your life, this by far had to be the dumbest of them all.
You were angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than to drown your feelings with overplayed EDM music and cheap booze that reminded you too much of the trash college parties you used to frequent. And while going out to get drunk was no where near your stupidest decision, going out alone with the full intention of returning home with someone else was. 
“Is everything okay?” you heard an unfamiliar voice beside you call.
Wishing you had brought more than an empty can of pepper spray, you cautiously turned to face him. You wanted to call a cab or take the train home, but you knew walking alone in the streets in your current condition might just be more stupid than staying at the club. Besides, your phone died right after you sent Kaminari your location. 
In other words-- You were truly fucked.
Not that you would let anyone know that, of course.
“Everything’s just fine,” you replied, trying to sound polite but disinterested. “Thanks.” 
He kept his distance but sat down at the barstool next to you. “Are you sure? You’re a pretty lady alone at the bar and you’re staring at your drink like it just insulted your favorite grandmother.” 
Immediately, the tears of stress and frustration flooded your eyes but you kept them from falling. Your bottom lip quivered and you blamed all the alcohol in your system for your seemingly uncontrollable emotions.
 “Am I that transparent?” You sniffled, downing the rest of your drink as you turned towards him.
“Ah-- Wait!” he cried with wide eyes, waving his hands in front of him as you chugged what was in your glass. “Are you sure you should keep drinking? Where are your friends?”
You studied him curiously. He seemed nice and trustworthy, but you couldn’t help but be skeptical of his intentions.
“They’re...around,” you answered, unwilling to admit you were here alone to a random stranger. “And I’m okay! Just here hating men, but what’s new?” 
He nodded solemnly. “Understandable. Men suck. Carry on.”
That earned a grin from you.
As the last gulp of vodka settled in your stomach and made its way to your head, you instinctively checked your phone in your pocket only to find it still dead. 
Damn. And here you were hoping it would’ve miraculously charged through sheer willpower. 
Drumming your fingertips against the empty glass, you let your gaze roam around the perimeter of the nightclub, blinking furiously in confusion when you thought you had spotted a head of all-too-familiar purple hair near the entrance.
“What the…” you trailed off. You could have sworn you just saw Shinsou, but the next second you opened your eyes, he was gone.
Great, you thought to yourself miserably. First he snuck his way into your heart and now you were imagining his presence too? 
“You’re really had too much to drink, haven’t you, Y/N?” you chided yourself, head spinning as you instantly regretted the last few gulps.
The guy next to you glanced over in concern, drinking a glass of what you assumed to be respect women juice. 
“Can I order you some water?” he fretted. “Or maybe a cab?” 
You shook your head to decline but stopped abruptly when your temples started to throb at the sudden motion. 
“S’okay,” you slurred. “I just thought I saw--” 
“Y/N!” 
You froze in your seat.
That voice… It was faint and almost like it wasn’t real, but you knew that voice. 
There was no way. 
“Good grief, I’m losing it now, huh?” you asked your bar acquaintance with furrowed brows. 
He shrugged, not knowing how to reply.
“Y/N, thank god,” the voice said frantically, sounding closer this time. “You’re safe!”
Ever so slowly, you turned around in your seat, eyes squeezed shut.
Even hearing his voice amidst the blaring of music was enough to make your heart twist in pain. It was the same deep timbre you remembered from high school and you haven’t heard it since then. You hated just how much you had missed the familiar sound. It was like a hug of comfort telling you everything was okay and a stab in the gut all at once.
“Y/N,” he said again, almost a whisper this time.
You finally found the courage to open your eyes, but refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you developed a deep interest in the laces of his shoes, reluctant to look up. 
“Shinsou…” The name left a bitter taste on your tongue and you wished you had another drink to wash it down with. Your voice hardened. “What are you doing here?” 
He winced at your harsh tone but stood unrelenting. “Your friends are worried sick about you. Kaminari was so concerned he even messaged me-- Something I imagine he never wanted to do.”
Your lower lip jutted out in guilt as your stare stayed set on the intricacies of the tiled flooring. 
“Why have you not checked your phone?” asked Shinsou in exasperation. “Kaminari was trying to tell you I was going to pick you up.” 
“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “My phone died after I sent Denki my location.”
“Died? Did you not charge it before you left? Y/N how could you be so irresponsible--!” 
“Is everything okay here?” your unnamed acquaintance said from his seat on the bar. He glanced carefully between you and Hitoshi. 
You nodded, sparing him a wry smile. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.” 
Shinsou bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the stranger who sat next to you. “Who’s this?” 
“None of your damn business.” 
Annoyed by Shinsou’s chiding, you bristled when he frowned at you. He had no right to sound concerned or jealous-- No right to pretend he cared!
Not when he did what he did.
“I know I was being stupid and I’ll call my friends when I get home,” you said, not bothering to hide your irritation. “But you can’t just come here and talk to me like everything is normal! Why are you even here?” 
Pushing yourself out of your chair, you stood up and finally looked Hitoshi in the eye, glaring at him. You wobbled on your own two feet and felt the goosebumps on your bare thighs and arms, briefly wishing you had brought a coat with you.
Great, another thing Toshi can call you irresponsible for, you thought crossly, a mixture of hurt and anger in your face as you stared up at him. 
“Why are you here?” you repeated as you paced away from the bar--turning back only to give your bar friend a wave goodbye that he returned with a confused look. You headed for the exist of the nightclub as briskly as your legs could carry you in your uncomfortable heels. “How did you know where to find me?” 
Shinsou trailed not too far behind you and you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that you felt a warmth near your back from his presence. “Kaminari told me you were alone at a nightclub and this one happened to be only ten minutes from my house.”
You pouted. Small fucking world. Fate must’ve been getting a kick out of this.
“Your friends were worried-- So was I.” You rolled your eyes, but he continued. “And since I was the closest to this place I offered to pick you up.”
Reaching the side doors, you stopped by the stone wall of the building and squinted at him. “You offered and they just let you?”
That did not sound like the friends you knew. You were expecting a full Shinsou beat down from Bakugou alone. 
Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck and, in your tipsy stupor, you felt comforted by the familiar habit of his. You swallowed, balling your hands into fists to snap your mind out of it.
It shouldn’t matter how many memories of the past were flooding you-- You were mad at him for lying and you had every right to be.
“Maybe offered is too loose of a word,” he admitted after a moment’s silence, having the decency to appear sheepish. “But we were worried and I knew I could get to you in half the time any of your friends could.”
Sure, it was a logical reason. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. “I would rather have waited double the time if that meant I didn’t have to see you again.” 
You stared Hitoshi straight in the eyes as you said that as you tried to ignore the trembling of your lower lip. He flinched at the words, looking hurt. But another part of him looked like he accepted it. 
“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now--”
“Mhmm,” you hummed just to be petty.
“--but we had no way of knowing if you were safe. Especially when you stopped replying to anyone! This was the quickest way.” 
Folding your arms across your chest you stubbornly held his gaze. “Well, I’m safe. So you can leave now.” 
Shinsou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Please. I know you hate me and you have every right to--”
“I don’t hate you,” you muttered under your breath. As much as you wish you did, you don’t think you could ever really hate him.
He blinked slowly and you could have sworn you saw a shimmer of hope in his expression. You tore your gaze away, studying the small fissures and cracks on the otherwise smooth pavement. 
“Oh,” he breathed almost imperceptibly. “Thank you.” 
You pretended not to hear him.
“Regardless of whether you hate me or not, I know you don’t want to see me--and I apologize for showing up so suddenly--but will you please let me bring you home safely?” Hitoshi pleaded. “Or to your friend’s house if you don’t want to be alone.”
With your lips squeezed shut, you rubbed the goosebumps off your upper arm. It was cold and your head was spinning and you had no clue what to say to him. 
Silently, Shinsou took off his outer coat and gently draped it over your shoulders, fastening the top button near the collar so it wouldn’t fall off your frame. You looked at him in surprise, unshed tears stinging the back of your eyes as you recalled all the times he’d given you his jacket while you were dating.
There were more times that you cared to admit where you conveniently “forgot” your jacket or wore too little layers on a cold day just so Hitoshi could give you his and you’d be enveloped in his scent.
And that’s exactly what was happening now. Shinsou’s coat surrounded your body like a warm hug and your nose was filled with a scent exactly like the one you remembered from when you were dating. He smelled like a sweet sandalwood with a mixture of fresh jasmine. He smelled like a field of flowers you’d find after a long trek through a woodsy forest. He smelled like home.
But he wasn’t.
In actuality, you haven’t been this close to Shinsou since your break up.
It had been years since you had seen him or talked to him or even been close enough to catch a trace of his scent. And now he was flooding every one of your senses with no care of the repercussions.
Your head was light.
You missed him. You cared for him. You never stopped loving him.
And now old wounds that never fully healed had been ripped open all at once.
“You were shivering,” Hitoshi stated quietly. “So I gave you my--”
He stopped short when he heard a sniffle coming from your direction, eyes growing wide as your buried your face in the palms of your shaking hands.
Through the cracks between your fingers, you saw Shinsou reach out to cup your face, stopping himself before he could touch you and withdrawing as if he had been burned. As stupid as it was, you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch against your skin and you found yourself involuntarily taking a half-step closer to him.
Your silent tears feel even faster. 
“Are you crying?”
Despite the droplets of water blurring your eyes, you managed to glare up at him for his dumb question. 
He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m...sorry.” 
Although you were the one crying, you still noticed the pained look on Shinsou’s face. He seemed just as conflicted as you were, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands so hard his knuckles appeared white. 
When he opened his mouth to speak his voice sounded choked, but still gentle. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 
“Just peachy,” you murmured, barely moving your lips. The two of you stood there in awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of your labored breaths filling the air until you blurted, “Actually, you know what--? No. I’m not!”
Shinsou opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was just fine by you, though. You had plenty of things you wanted to say, regardless of his response.
“I’m angry at you! And confused. And sad. And hurt! I don’t know if I want to yell at you or ignore you or run right back into your arms--” Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to slow your sharp breathing. 
You hugged yourself around your waist, painfully aware of how comforting his jacket felt around your body. A part of you wished you could just tear the coat off your shoulders, throw it onto a puddle on the floor, give Shinsou the middle finger, and turn away without looking back.
But you couldn’t. 
Instead, you let your tears continue to fall as you glowered at Hitoshi’s shoes. 
“I am so mad at you,” you managed, hands clutching the fabric at your sides. “You lied to me, Hitoshi. You lied to me and you didn’t trust me and you left!” 
The hurt from your past which you never wanted to accept mixed with anger from the present, both fueling your surge in emotions.
“And now you’re here--in front of me--acting like everything is okay?!” you shouted in exasperation. Your face was burning despite the chilling breeze outside. “Do you even care about me? Have you ever even cared about me?” 
He gritted his teeth, hurt that you would even ask that. “Of course. Of course I care about you, Y/N! Even through all these years I’ve never stopped caring about you.”
“Funny way of showing it.” 
His laugh was humorless. “I’m a fuck up. I know.” 
Your gaze softened just the slightest bit. “Hey-- I didn’t say that.” 
Shinsou shrugged. “Regardless, I did fuck up with you. And I’m so sorry for that.” 
“For which time?” By now, the tears flowing out of your eyes slowed, the remnants dried by the biting wind. You gave him a wry smile, unamused. 
“Both times,” he answered without hesitation. “I hurt you when I broke up with you for no damn reason and I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. That was the biggest lie of my life-- I still loved you. So much. But I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you the change to explain. I owe you so much more than an apology but it’s the least I can give you right now.” 
You rolled your lower lip between your teeth, hating yourself for wanting to accept his apology and jump into his arms. He gave no excuses for what he did and his words were genuine. That much you knew for certain.
Slowly, he inched towards you. 
“I really am sorry, Y/N.” He paused. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”
You stayed silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushed against your damp cheek. Shinsou wiped away your flood of tears with a touch so gentle, it felt like a feather on your face.
His thumb lingered on your cheekbone, his fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, and you found yourself ever so slightly leaning into his palm. The tension in your muscles loosened and if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend you were back with the Shinsou you loved in high school-- As if he never left and nothing had ever changed. 
Just for a moment, you tricked yourself into being truly happy. You tricked yourself into thinking that maybe you and Hitoshi could still be in love. 
You wanted to capture this second and replay it on an infinite loop, but just like all moments, this too had to come to an end. 
As you opened your eyes, Hitoshi reluctantly brought his hand back to his side.
“Sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “You were crying and I just wanted to--” He shook his head, cutting himself off before his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” 
It sounded like his apology was meant for more than just wiping some tears off your face. 
You nodded almost imperceptibly, the anger in your gaze diffused by hurt and longing. “I know.”
As the minutes passed, neither one of you made a move to step away from the other-- Your bodies mere inches apart and so close, yet never quite touching.
Suddenly, Hitoshi cleared his throat.
“Er-- If you’ll let me, I think I should bring you home now,” he said, forcibly shaking himself out of his daze and pulling his phone out. “It’s almost four in the morning.” 
Blinking, you rubbed your eyes. Not that he mentioned the time, you realized just how tired you were. You wanted to take a bubble bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and sleep until the following night. 
“Do you have to go to your flower shop tomorrow?”  
“Hmm?” You were startled. You had almost forgotten that the man in front of you was the same person you considered your “mememate.” As much as you hated to admit it, he probably knew more about you than some of your closest friends. 
Biting your lip, you snapped yourself out of it.
“Oh-- Right. My flower shop.” 
He nodded.
“No, I don’t have work tomorrow,” you answered finally. “I may not have made the smartest decisions tonight, but I’m not that irresponsible.” 
A shadow of a smile graced his face. “Of course not.” 
Fishing his keys from his pocket, Shinsou walked to the parking lot of the nightclub, looking over his shoulder to check if you were following.
When his gaze met yours you immediately stuck your tongue out at him haughtily so he knew you were only following him as a last resort and you needed to get home-- Not because you wanted to. 
You caught a glimpse of his grin before he turned around, and you managed to stop yourself before one spread to your lips as well. 
Stopping at a black car with tinted windows, Hitoshi unlocked it with his keys, opening the door of the passenger seat and waiting for you to safely enter. 
“I can open a door myself,” you murmured, sliding into the seat securely before he gently shut it close. 
“I know,” you heard his amused voice call through the window.
It felt like there was one, singular butterfly fluttering around in your stomach and causing mayhem, and you batted it away before Hitoshi could come in and see the grin on your face. 
“Did I just see you just hit yourself in the gut?” he asked when he entered through the driver’s side. 
“No.” 
“Okay.”
Subtly, you rubbed your tummy in a soft, circular motion. You hadn’t meant to punch the butterfly that hard. 
“Didn’t hit yourself, huh?” 
You flushed. “Oh, hush.” 
With a snort, Hitoshi turned the engine of his car on and you let your eyes explore the interior. It was sleek and clean, smelling like a mixture of sandalwood and new car. 
Reaching behind the gear level, he pulled out a white cord and handed it to you. You stared at the object in his hands.
“For you,” he said, with a raised brow. “You should charge your phone and let your friends know you’re on your way home.” 
Wordlessly, you accepted it from him. Careful not to let your fingers brush against his in fear of the spark it might cause.
“I messaged Kaminari earlier to let him know you were safe. But he probably wants to hear it from you.”
You nodded as you plugged your dead phone in. “Thanks.” 
He hummed, putting the car on drive and backing out of the parking spot, stopping before he reached the main street. 
“Do you know how to get home from here?” he asked. As you shook your head, Hitoshi handed you his fully charged phone that was opened on the navigation app. “You can search for your address.”
“Got it.” The air between you was almost suffocatingly awkward as you typed in where you lived, each click of the keyboard ringing into the stillness of the night. After finding turning the directions on, you handed the phone back to him. “Thanks.”
Shaking his head, he waved you off. “You don’t need to keep thanking me, Y/N. This is the least I could do.”
Averting your gaze, you twiddled your thumbs in your lap, unsure what to say. You had so much you wanted to tell him--so much you wanted to ask--but when it came to it, you froze. 
Just then, your phone made a sound from its spot near the gear shift, buzzing and lighting up as it finally turned on. A plethora of notifications filled your screen and you found yourself feeling guilty for making your friends worry like that.
Five missed calls for Kaminari, three missed calls from Todoroki, and nine missed calls from Bakugou. You gulped. You were definitely going to get your ears talked off by those three once they got a hold of you. 
But amidst the calls and texts of worry from your friends, you also noticed a handful of messages from Hitoshi. He sent you texts asking if you were okay and telling you not to worry because he was on his way to get you. There was a lump in your throat when he saw the messages were still from your mememate-- You never did get around to changing his contact name.
From the corner of your eye you saw Hitoshi glancing down at your phone screen, a look of regret apparent on his face. When he caught you staring, he directed his attention back on the road, clearing his throat as he followed the directions on the navigation system.
To think only a week ago, things were so different between the two of you. 
You thought he was a random stranger you connected with through the power of memes, never having a clue that he was your ex this whole time. You found yourself opening up and sharing your private feelings with him despite the promise you made yourself to always guard your heart. 
Even anonymously, Hitoshi climbed over your walls and found his way to the inner workings of your life. Even anonymously, he made everything feel like it was okay. 
But a part of you was scared--so scared--that it was all in your head and he was only playing you this whole time. And at this point, you were just too afraid to ask.
“Are you crying again?”
“What?!” you yelped in alarm, wiping at your slightly damp face with the sleeves of his coat. “No, you asshole!” You glared at him, a few loose tears still gathered by the corners of your eyes. You refused to let them fall through the use of sheer willpower. “The air conditioning is just blasting into my eyes.”
“The air conditioner is off.”
You blinked. “Well that makes sense. It’s so hot in here I’m just sweating through my eyes.” 
He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Right.”
The lighthearted mood didn’t last very long, however, when your phone buzzed once more and the notifications from earlier tonight appeared on your lockscreen. 
“I really made everyone worry, huh?” You sighed, leaning back against the headrest and shutting your eyes, the effects of the alcohol long since worn off. “I can’t believe I did something like this.” 
He signaled a left turn and waited until he was at the red light before continuing. “I’m sorry for causing this.” 
You stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Causing this?”
“Yeah. If I had just told you who I was the moment I found out, this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have been scared and alone at a random nightclub and your friends wouldn’t have been in near panic for hours. Hell-- If I hadn’t run away like that all those years ago none of this would have happened.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard it left indents on the leather. “You wouldn’t have felt all the pain and heartbreak and--”
His voice grew hoarse as it broke off, as if something was tightening around his throat. Holding your breath, you gazed at him in concern.
You were angry at Hitoshi and thought he had a lot of explaining to do-- Sure. But...for him to blame himself for everything that happened? That was more weight than anyone should bear on their own. 
Surprising both him and yourself, you firmly placed your hand on top of his as he gripped the steering wheel. His hands were cold and rough from the wind, and you were certain yours weren’t much better. But still, you held him. And still, it felt right. 
“Not everything is your fault, Toshi,” you said quietly, his old nickname slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it, like it was natural for you to call him that.
His eyes widened and a flush filled your cheeks. 
You coughed to relieve the tension in your neck. “I just mean… You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. You messed up and there’s no denying that, but this isn’t all your fault. I mean it.” 
Your eyes met before he tore his gaze away to focus on driving. Quickly, you retracted your hand from on top of Shinsou’s, cradling it against your stomach as you felt the burn from his skin linger on yours.
“Thank you.” His voice was solemn and grateful, as if he needed to hear those words at least once in his life. “You’re too caring, you know? Your heart is too good.” 
You let out a breath of laughter, brushing his compliment off. “Yours is too. It’s just been through some shit. And maybe didn’t make the best decisions.”
“It most definitely didn’t.”
Though neither of you were looking at each other, there was a shared sense of happiness between the two of you--regardless of how brief it may have been. There was a small smile playing on your face as you bit your lip to keep it from growing wider. 
You hadn’t fully forgiven Hitoshi, he still had some explaining to do, but you felt a sense of calmness when you realized that maybe forgiveness would be possible.
Before you knew it, you heard the navigator say, “Your destination is on the right,” as Hitoshi pulled up at the curb in front of your building.
“We’re here,” he announced slowly, one hand on the gear level as if he wasn’t sure what to do next. 
There was an awkward silence as you unplugged your phone from his car charger. It wasn’t that you wanted to spend more time with him exactly (that was definitely not the case), but rather you had more questions to ask. And what better time to figure out those questions than at four in the morning? 
“You’ve been driving for a while…” you trailed off, hoping he caught the hint without too much embarrassment on your part. “Do you want to use the restroom before you drive back home?”
Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck. “No, I’m good. I wasn’t out for that long.”
“O-Oh,” you stuttered, a sudden feeling of nerves settling in your stomach. Not those damned butterflies again. “Well, how about… Maybe you want a glass of water or a cup of tea?” 
He gave you a curious look but set his car to park and turned off the engine nonetheless. “Sure…? Some water would be nice.”
You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, pulling your keys out of your pocket and unbuckling your seatbelt. Before you could open the car door for yourself, Hitoshi was already on the passenger’s side ready to open it for you. 
“I know how to open a door,” you muttered with a roll of your eye, but felt a faint flush litter your cheeks nonetheless. You hopped out of your seat, accepting the hand he offered to stead you. “But...thank you.” 
“No worries.” 
For someone you were still mad at, he was making it damn hard for you to stay petty. 
Despite the light throbbing in your head, both from drinking too much alcohol and from staying up too late, you were able to lead him inside your living room with no complications--only struggling with unlocking the door just a little. 
“Welcome to my house,” you said, flapping your arms around and fidgeting in place. You slid off your shoes and placed them at the doorway and Hitoshi followed suit. “You can, uh, sit on the couch while I get you water. Or you can follow me into the kitchen…?”
Your eyes scanned the floors and furniture of your apartment. You liked maintaining your living space clean and clutter-free, so it wasn’t too much of a mess. Still, you weren’t expecting any guests and it wasn’t as nice as it could have been…
You shook your head, giving your face a light slap when you thought no one was looking. You shouldn’t be bothered. It was just Hitoshi here. Someone you most definitely no longer cared about. 
Or so you kept telling yourself.
He followed behind you, grabbing at his neck and glancing between your walls and you, unsure what to look at in this new environment. After all, it wasn’t everyday you picked up your ex that you haven’t seen for four years at a bar only to be invited into their house.
“I can go with you to the kitchen,” he answered with uncertainty.
“G-Great!” 
You grimaced. When did you become Tony the Tiger all of a sudden? 
As you grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, you filled them up with ice and water, setting one next to Shinsou on the countertop. 
He accepted it. “Thank you.” 
You nodded and there was an awkward silence, both of you taking long sips from your glass, not knowing where to go from here. You knew you wanted to talk to him, but what were you going to ask exactly? What was the right way to go about this situation?
Next to you, Hitoshi looked like he was having some inner struggles of his own. His fingers flexed and unflexed around the cool glass, both avoiding your gaze and looking at you at the same time.
Biting your lip, you turned to look at him. As uncomfortable as it was, there was no better time to ask than now.
“Can we talk--?”
“We should talk--”
You both started and stopped at the same time.
There was a beat of elongated silence before the two of you laughed. Shaking your head, you buried your face in your hands, peering at him between your fingers. 
“This is silly,” you cried in embarrassment. “Why are we so awkward?” 
Hitoshi shrugged as a flustered laugh escaped his own lips. “Because this is weird. This is a strange situation we’re in and no one would ever expect something like this to happen.”
“Exactly!” 
“But,” he continued, almost hesitantly, “I’m kind of glad it did, though.” 
Your own laughter quieted down as the mood became more serious. You drank another gulp of water to quench your suddenly parched throat. 
“Can we talk in the living room?” you asked, heading towards the hallway when Hitoshi nodded. You figured if you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may as well try to find some comfort in your warm and plush sofa.
You sat down at the edge near the armrest and he took a seat not too far from you. There was less than a cushion space separating the two of you and if you were to move a few inches, your thighs would be touching. 
Tearing your gaze away from your legs, you looked up to face Hitoshi. “You don’t have to answer, but… There have been some questions on my mind lately.” 
He nodded, as if expecting you to say that. “Ask away. It’s the least I could do.”
You curled your legs and hugged your knees to your chest, peering at him through your lashes. 
“Okay,” you said somewhat unsurely. Confrontation was never easy. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was? How long were you planning on keeping it from me?”
Hitoshi ran a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random patterns. Somehow, it suited him.
“I found out a day or so before you confessed to liking...your mememate,” he admitted. He had told you this through text when you asked, but hearing it a second time didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was going to tell you that day, too. But then you told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to break it to you then.”
You looked away, embarrassed at the reminder of the night you poured your heart out to him. He knew you were his ex the whole time and still didn’t stop you? You scoffed, “Well, you could’ve stopped me before I humiliated myself like that.”
“Humiliate-- How?”
“What do you mean how?” You glared. “I totally embarrassed myself that night by saying how much I liked you--my ex!--only to have you basically reject me on the spot!” 
“I didn’t reject you.”
“I told you that you were the first person I liked since...well you,” you said, rubbing your temples to ease your own confusion. “And you never said it back. Not that you needed to. It’s totally fine that you don’t. It’s just that… I don’t even know. I just wish I never said anything.”
He placed the glass he was holding onto a coaster on your coffee table, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry,” said Hitoshi. “But that’s not it at all. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I would’ve told you I liked you back-- I wanted to, I swear.” 
Your head snapped to his. He wanted to tell you? As in he started liking you too? Even when he didn’t know who you were?
With a wistful smile, he continued, “But it wasn’t fair to you. Not when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. You didn’t deserve that bullshit.” 
You stretched your legs out so they were dangling off the couch, folding one carefully over the other as you crossed your arms. “Then you should’ve just told me the truth about who you were.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “And if I did, you never would’ve told me your feelings.”
“Exactly,” you huffed. “They’d be safe and locked away in my heart until they disappeared.” 
He was silent as you turned his body towards yours, resting his arm on the back cushions of the sofa.
“Is that really what you want, though?” he asked. “You’re so kind and beautiful and you deserve to open your heart to someone and be happy with them.” A flush rose to your cheeks at his sudden words of kindness but you shook it away. “I never knew I hurt you so badly that you were scared to love again-- And I’ll hate myself everyday for that.” 
“Hitoshi…” Your gaze softened. You wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair but you couldn’t. 
He hurt you, yes. But to hate himself and never forgive himself for it? You thought that was far too extreme. 
“When you broke up with me,” you started slowly, unsure how to go about this, “you said that our relationship was nothing more than some cheap dates and sex.” He winced, holding his stomach as if he felt nauseous. “If you’re so regretful now, why did you ever say something like that? Did I really mean nothing to you?” 
“No-- Of course you meant something to me. Y/N, you were everything to me. And it’s ridiculous of me to say this now but I never wanted to hurt you like that,” Hitoshi said, his eyes squeezed shut. “But I did and I’m so sorry. I thought if I told you those mean things you would find it easier to just hate me and move on. Be with Kaminari or someone who could make you happy.” 
You glared at him with both sadness and anger, nails digging into your palms. “I was happy. With you. Is that so hard to believe?”
“A little.”
Taken aback, you stared at him. You weren’t sure what response you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 
“But not because of anything you did,” he rushed before you could get the wrong idea. “I just thought you were a good person who truly deserved something better than what I could give. You should be with someone who wasn’t anxious and insecure and messed up.” 
You were unsure if you wanted to smack Hitoshi or give him a hug, so you sat there stock-still.
“Even when I saw you with Kaminari, a part of me thought it would be better off that way,” he admitted, a scornful look on his face as he scoffed at himself. “But that wasn’t my call to make, was it? And how I went about it was wrong and dishonest. I’m really sorry.” 
He tugged at a loose thread on the sofa while staring at you in earnest. There were so many things to say and not enough time in the night to say it. 
“You’re right. It wasn’t your call,” you said, furrowing your brows. “I wish you would’ve told me you were feeling this way all those years ago. I loved you--regardless of what you may have thought. And what you said really hurt me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up and hurt you more deeply than I could’ve ever imagined. You felt like you couldn’t have feelings for anyone for all those years because of what I did, and if I could take it all back, I would.” 
His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to cup your face, pulling away harshly before he could touch you. 
“You deserve to find love, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me because I know I have no right to anyone’s heart after what I did--”
“Hey, don’t say that!” you interrupted, a wrinkle forming as you scrunched up your nose. You frowned at him. “You deserve to find love again, too. You may have messed up a few times, and I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt, but I still care about you. A lot. And just because you made some really bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to ever be happy.” 
He looked down at his lap, hands curled into fists by his side. You had the sinking suspicion he didn’t believe you.
Swallowing your pride, you inched closer to him, lightly lifting his chin so he stared at you face-to-face. The dark purple of his eyes stormed as a conflicted expression overcame him and you wanted to run a finger over his brow and brush the insecurities away.
Quietly, you whispered, “You’re so worthy of love, Hitoshi. And it makes me so sad that you still haven’t realized it.” 
You felt a piece of your heart chip as he pulled away from you, gritting his teeth as he hung his head. When he spoke, his voice sounded choked, as if he was holding back tears.
“You’ve shown me too much kindness,” he said, words shakey. “Even after I assumed you cheated and broke up with you in the cruelest way possible--” 
His voice cracked and he couldn’t speak. With his gaze avoiding yours he pushed himself off the couch.
“God, I’m sorry,” Hitoshi muttered, his face a look of self-disdain. “I shouldn’t even be here in your life right now. I should just--”
Your hand grabbed the one he used to shove himself off your sofa, holding his fingers tight in between yours. With your head bowed, you called, “Don’t leave again. Not yet.”
He froze in his spot, one leg immobile in front of the other in the direction of the door. Desperately, you tugged at his arm so he looked back at you. Your eyes pleaded with him. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end until you received your closure and Hitoshi received his. 
“You know that night we played Truth or Drink?” you asked, breaking the silence. 
He stared back at you curiously, slowly sitting down as you patted the seat next to you. Cautiously, he nodded in response.
That night was a pivotal time in bonding with your mememate and it was the closest you had felt with anyone besides your best friends.
Continuing, you said, “You told me about your dad cheating on your mom. And then seeing me and Denki the next day after I lied about who I was with.” 
There was no accusatory tone in your voice, and you stated it as if you were recalling the facts. But still, Hitoshi winced. 
“Yeah, shit.” He placed his palm over his forehead, rubbing at his temple as he grimaced. “I really just jumped to conclusions like that and it was unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”
You didn’t reply to his apology, but gave him a small smile. “That night, I told you I thought your response was understandable. It made sense that you were mistrustful at the time. Especially after just finding out about your parents-- People I know you looked up to. Even in regards to love.” 
Hitoshi wore a guarded expression, but still listened keenly to what you had to say. 
“Toshi… My opinion on that doesn’t change just because I now know it was me you were talking about.” 
“Y/N--”
“Don’t get me wrong,” you clarified, not wanting to sound too lenient. “I’m still hurt that you couldn’t trust me. I wish you confronted me so we could’ve cleared up the misunderstanding. I wish you hadn’t stood me up on our anniversary date. But most importantly… I wish I could have been there for you when you found out about your parents.” 
Hitoshi sat there in silence, mouth opening but unable to form the sentences he wanted. 
You gave him a look of regret, one hand still not letting go of his even as he stayed seated beside you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”
“It’s not your fault. At all.”
As you shook your head, he faltered. “Still, you went to America, alone, and never told anyone what was wrong. You kept all these feelings to yourself this whole time and I hate that so much.” 
“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t deserve to--”
Your fingers twitched. How many times was he going to beat himself while he was already down? 
“Stop saying that!” you snapped, unable to contain your emotions. “You are not a burden. And you deserve so much more than you think you do.” 
His eyes widened at your outburst and his lips parted slightly. 
“It’s good you know what you did was wrong-- You can’t pretend lying and making assumptions was okay because it’s not. But you know it’s not! And you acknowledge that and it seems like you regret it.” Your voice took on a desperate tone as you tried to get Hitoshi to see his mistakes as something separate from his worth as a whole. “You’ve made mistakes, but you can grow from them. Fucking up doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love and happiness. You don’t have to take all the blame onto yourself.” 
“How can I not take the blame?” he asked, his frustration at himself matching yours. “If I had been a better boyfriend, I would have trusted you more. If I had been a better person, I wouldn’t have lied to you. And maybe if I had been a better son, my parents--”
As if your body had a mind of its own, you threw your arms around him in a hug before he could finish his sentence. You heard a sharp inhale come from him as he sat, rigid.
“Don’t,” you whispered, breathing harshly as you held him tight. “Please, Toshi. Don’t say that. If no one ever told you this, please listen to me then. It’s not your fault. Your parents divorcing has nothing to do with your worth. Don’t blame yourself for the issues they had.” 
His shoulders were still tense despite the shudder of tears you felt.
“You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. Hold yourself accountable, yes. Always strive to be a better person, yes. But don’t think it’s all your fault,” you pleaded. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You can lean on someone, Toshi.” You gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. “You can lean on me.” 
At your words, you felt him visibly relax, his body free of the tension as you held him close. 
Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you as he returned your embrace, his strong hands firmly gripping your waist as if he never wanted to let you go. You found yourself loosening up at his touch and you placed your head in his chest. 
Peering up at him through your lashes, you said, “I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I need to say it.” 
His thumb stroked the length of your spine as you continued. 
“I forgive you, Hitoshi. For everything.” He stopped moving as he looked at you in surprise. You simply smiled at him. “Your apologies were genuine and so is your regret. I know you’re a good person and I forgive you, so please stop blaming yourself now.” 
“Thank you, Y/N. So much.” He pulled away ever so slightly, feelings of guilt still flooding him. “But I feel like I still don’t deserve it though--”
A noise of protest bubbled up at your throat. “I swear to god, if I hear the d-word come out of your mouth again, I’ll make you shut up.” After a moment’s pause, you tried to hide your laughter. “Heh. D-word.”
“Oh my god,” he said, his amusement escaping him. With his arms still around your waist, he challenged, “How would you make me shut up?”
You wiggled your eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 
Hitoshi laughed a genuine laugh that you haven’t heard in years. The deep rumble had a smile of your own forming on your lips. 
But the mood turned serious when you gazed into his eyes again.
“Really, though…” you said, squeezing the fabric at his sides. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long without telling anyone. I hope you know you can always talk to me.” 
He tilted his head back, staring at your ceiling as you caught sight of his Adam’s apple. “Why are you being so nice to me after how much I hurt you?”
“Because I care about you,” you answered simply. “And I know you still care about me. You wouldn’t be this hung up over everything if you didn’t.” 
There was a sort of smugness in you as you teased him and he let out a breath of laughter. 
“Hah. I do. I care about you. And I’ve missed you so much.” 
You didn’t think it was possible, but he hugged you even closer to him. Your arms released their embrace on Hitoshi as you brought them to your sides. He looked down at you with a strange expression.
“I’ve missed you, too,” you admitted, squeezing your eyes shut as if it pained you. “You’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved and I miss you more than you could ever know.” 
Your head was bowed at his chest as you tried to steady your trembling hands by grasping the fabric at the front of his shirt.
“Why did you never call me? Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to another continent? Toshi, I loved you so much--” Your voice broke off as the tears you were holding in escaped you. “Why did you leave me?” 
His fingers were laced in your hair, holding you tight. He wanted nothing more than to soothe your tears and hated himself for being the cause of them. “I’m an insecure idiot who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.” 
Through the blur of tears, you saw the wistful look on his face. The best thing? you thought to yourself, touched. 
“No amount of apologizing is going to fix anything,” he said, accepting it as a fact, “but I am so sorry. And I want you to know I’m grateful the person who AirDropped me that day was you.”
He lifted your chin and wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. Your knees were touching his thighs as you sat down with your legs folded under you, facing him. Letting go of the grip you had on his shirt, you unballed your fists and instead rested your palms on his chest.
You grinned at the audacity of it all. “I still can’t believe that happened. But I’m glad it did, too.”
“Must be a small world.”
“Or maybe it’s fate.” Your hand found his as you interlocked pinkies with him bashfully. 
Hitoshi looked down at your interlaced fingers and a light dusting of pink colored his cheeks. A sense of enjoyment filled you as he continued to blush, a teasing grin playing on your face. 
Before you lost any courage you had, you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth-- Not quite a kiss but most definitely an invitation for one.
The red on his cheeks died down as his eyes darkened in color, removing his hand from your waist to cup your jaw. Hitoshi’s palm was warm and soft against you and you leaned into his caress.
“Do you feel like you got the closure you needed?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he leaned close to you. 
“Yes.” You nodded, painfully aware of your close proximity. If you were to lift your head up any more, your lips would brush against his. “Do you?”
“Yes.” 
His forehead was pressed against yours and your heart was being so hard, you were certain Hitoshi could hear it from his spot in front of you.
After a moment’s silence, you said, “Now what?” 
He shrugged, eyes shut. “That’s up to you to decide. I’m happy with doing whatever will make you happiest. And if that means leaving you alone and letting you close this chapter, then I--”
You yelped, silencing him with a gentle shove on the chest.
“Are you crazy?” you asked incredulously. “You think I would ever let you go again?” There was frustration in your voice as you resisted the temptation to kiss the stupidity out of him. “I… I mean, unless that’s what you want?” 
“Y/N…” Now he was the one with the tone of disbelief, like he couldn’t wrap his mind around what you had just said. “I’d want to stay with you. For as long as you’d let me.”
“O-Oh?” Your eyes widened in shock, but soon settled into an ecstatic smile. “Fate must have done us a favor with all this AirDrop stuff, huh? I fell for you all those years ago as Shinsou, and I fell for you again without even knowing who you were. There’s no way I’d throw that chance away.” 
Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you brought your hands to the back of his neck, and lifted your head up to meet his. You spotted an amused look on his face, but it didn’t last very long when your lips finally pressed against his with a contented sigh.
His movements were gentle and slow, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder he would find this was only an illusion that would shatter. But it wasn’t. It was real and it was genuine and you wanted to prove it to him. 
You broke away from his touch to pepper chaste kisses on his jawline, starting at the lobe of his ear and making your way down to the sensitive part of his throat you knew would drive him crazy, your hot breath blowing against his neck as a guttural sound escaped him.
“Eager, are we?” he asked hoarsely, his chin lifted. 
You grinned mischievously against him.
“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” said Hitoshi, gently pushing you away with a roguish glint in his eyes, “you don’t always have to keep giving. You should be spoiled for a change.”
You squealed when his hands trailed down your sides to cup the undersides of your thighs, lifting you up as you sat down on his lap. His hands unclasped the button that fastened his coat on you and brushed the collar aside, exposing the supple skin on your upper chest.
“You should be spoiled,” he breathed in between each kiss he planted on your decolletage, “every day of your life.”
Your face burned at the implication of his words, the skin his mouth had touched feeling like they were searing hot. Though his jacket had fallen off your shoulders, you were still overwhelmed by his scent, the woodsy citrus filling your senses as you sighed his name and you still couldn’t get enough. He was more intoxicating than any vodka you had consumed earlier that night. 
Growing impatient at his teasing, you squirmed on his lap, causing him to hiss in response. 
You giggled at his expression and stuck your tongue out at him. “Just kiss me already.”
Tossing his inhibitions to the side, he obliged. 
When your lips met again, this time it wasn’t uncertain and gentle. Each move Hitoshi made was firm and deliberate and if you weren’t already sitting down, your knees would have gone weak and given in.
His teeth grazed your lower lip and he kissed you harder, and your hands found themselves tangled underneath the hem of his shirt. The skin on your arms filled with goosebumps as he mimicked your motions, his fingers toying with the clasp of your bra as his name escaped your lips once more in a strangled moan.
Before it could go any further, however, Hitoshi removed his hands from the band of your undergarments and slowly pulled away from your kiss. 
His face was flushed with beads of sweat falling down the side and his breathing was labored. You were certain you weren’t any better as you rested your forehead against his to steady yourself. 
“Why’d you stop?” you asked with a strained voice, giving him your best pleading eyes.
“It’s late and you need some rest, baby.” He pressed a soft kiss to your nose with a smile. “I don’t want to stop--believe me,” he promised, his hands squeezing your thighs that still straddled his lap, “but I also don’t want you to rush into anything you might regret.” 
You pouted, not wanting him to stop, but also feeling grateful he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything you would regret the next day.
“Damn you for being such a gentleman,” you grumbled. 
He ran the tip of his tongue against his lower lip. It was plump and red and it took all your willpower not to kiss it again.
“Only sometimes, princess,” he said when he noticed how your gaze zeroed in on his mouth. “But for now, you should get ready for bed. The sun is almost rising already.” 
Hitoshi made a move to get up and you slowly unwrapped your legs from his hips, standing up shakily. He placed his hands on your hips to help you steady yourself, but that just made the weakness worse. 
Still holding you, he stood up from the couch and looked down at you, resting his chin on the top of your head as you hugged him. 
“You’re leaving?” you whimpered, a pout on your face. 
“Sadly,” he sighed. “I have work tomorrow. Well, in a few hours I suppose. But if you need me to stay I--”
“Oh, my god!” you cried, jumping away from him. “You have work? And yet you still came for me and let me keep you this whole time?! Toshi!” 
You folded your arms across your chest as you scolded him, but he just ruffled your hair playfully. 
“It was the least I could do,” said Hitoshi. “And I’m used to running on little to no sleep. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” 
“It’s not fine! If you don’t get enough sleep this week I will smother you until you pass out.” You glared at him, holding his face between your hands and examining his tired eyes. Your gaze softened when you saw how sleepy he looked and thought about how well he hid it from everyone. You sighed. “And I think you’re a lot more selfless and caring than you give yourself credit for.” 
You kissed the apples of his cheeks and smoothed his brows. 
“Thank you for tonight,” you said. “You should get going.”
“No, you’re the one I should be thanking,” he replied, giving you one last embrace before getting ready to head towards the door. 
Both of your legs felt like lead, neither of you wanting to leave the other after years of being apart. With a smile, he moved towards the door. 
In silence, you examined him for the first time in four years. He was taller than before-- Bulkier, too. It looked like he worked out since he was in college, his plain shirt stretching against his pectoral muscles. 
But still, he was the same Shinsou Hitoshi you had always loved. 
You glanced at his bared arms and your eyes widened. “Oh, wait--! Your coat!” 
It had fallen off your shoulders and onto the floor during the heat of the moment, and you picked it up and brought it to him. As you held it out, his hands wrapped your outstretched ones around the fabric of his sweater. 
“No, it’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head and a small grin on his lips. “You should keep it. It suits you.”
You raised an eyebrow at him in warning, but hugged the coat to your body nonetheless. “I hope you know this means I’m never giving it back to you now.” 
Hitoshi laughed. “I figured.”
He was about to grab the door knob when you blurted, “O-Or maybe I could give it back to you! If we were to, I don’t know, meet up for some food this week?” 
Turning back in surprise, he was met with a look of utter embarrassment on your face. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire. 
You bit your lip, unsure what had just come over you when you asked him on a date but also not regretting it for a moment. 
“Only if you want,” you murmured, suddenly feeling more bashful. 
Taking the hint, Hitoshi looked at you with a mix of wonder and amusement. “Sure. I’ll get some food with you just to have my coat back.” 
You gasped, cheeks burning. “You know what? Never mind, I’m keeping this--!”
“I’m kidding,” he laughed, tone still teasing. “The jacket is just a bonus. What I’d really be there for is...the food.”
You buried your head in your hands and sighed. “I-- Why do I have to like you?” 
He shrugged, feeling just as lost as you were. “Because feelings are strange.” 
“They are,” you agreed. “But they’re worth it. And so are you.”
Hitoshi smiled as you gave him a gentle kiss goodnight. 
“Have a safe drive home, Toshi.”
“Thank you. Go get some sleep now, kitten. We can talk when you wake up.” 
You nodded feverishly, almost bouncing in anticipation at the thought of talking to him again. “I’m going to sleep right now so I wake up faster and get to talk to you sooner.”
A chuckle of surprise left his lips before he could stop himself. “You’re such a dork, you know? But I love that about you.”
Your face heated at the sound of the l-word as the two of you stared at each other, both in shock that the night happened and even happier that it did. 
“I… I should go now,” he said in a daze. He didn’t want to leave and you didn’t want him to, but you knew he had work soon. 
You nodded, waving at him as he left your house. “See you soon, Hitoshi.”
When the door closed shut behind him, you slumped a little. Tired and exhausted yet wishing you could see him soon. Though it might have been foolish, you couldn’t help but wish he was feeling the same.
Grabbing your phone on the coffee table, you unlocked it to check the time. You were about to shut it off and put it in your pocket when a notification bubble popped up on your screen.
“AirDrop: mememate would like to share a note,” it read, and a grin spread across your lips as you eagerly pressed accept. 
The notepad application immediately opened up on your phone and you read the small message on the off-white display.
mememate: can’t wait for our date, y/n. p.s. i really really like you.
Letting out a surprised cry of joy, you held your phone to your chest, hugging it along with Hitoshi’s jacket he had left you. 
From the other side of the door, Hitoshi had heard your scream and responded with a laugh of his own. A feeling of warmth in his heart as he placed his phone in his pocket and headed for his car. Thank goodness for AirDrop. 
Your heart was pounding and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you. Even as you got ready for bed and drifted off into a restful sleep, the silly smile never fell from your face. 
You were grateful he came to get you at the nightclub, and you were grateful he was the recipient of your memes that day at the amusement park. 
He made mistakes in the past and you were no saint either, but you had an opportunity to heal those wounds and be with Hitoshi again. 
And you just couldn’t wait for your next date together. 
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a/n: AHHH THAT WAS A LOT,, pls let me know what you think! i know some readers never want to forgive shinsou at all and that’s okay, but i do think y/n forgives him and still really cares about him [and maybe l-words him? o.o] so i hope u support it 🥺 ilysm and thank you for reading! lmk ur thoughts !! xx 
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