#this is what im thinking about at work today lol

[ghostespresso]

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site #changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too #this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus #if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear #if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine #the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money #someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont #tumblr staff #EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but #that doesnt stop the post from being stupid #the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase #if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything' #staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did #so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post #edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post #they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us #i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded #and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money #tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol #ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years #but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one

[todayisafridaynight]

#ryu ga gotoku #rgg #yakuza series #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #daigo dojima #ryo aoki #masato arakawa #snap sketches #im annoyed looking at this jaGELARKGJ #I LIKE MY LNIE ART BUT .... just nthing was clicking with me rtying to shade this #i only meant for this to be a quick thing today but i ended up mulling over it for longer than i wanted so im just throwing it out there #every time i make a rendered drawing of aokis office it always dark as hell like bro PLEASE you have a lamp #theres like ONE instance where i dont make it dark and it was in that goofy Rumor Mill comic #LIKE EVEN THAT COMIC ABOUT ARAKAWA BEING DEAD IT'S DAYTIME YET I STILL MADE IT DARK VJLAKJVAE #ridiculosu. #moving on ive wanted to draw them playing chess for months i just kept. Not Knowing How To Do It #whats funny is that i initially was planning an entirely different thing but i was thinking about that too much i got stressed #so . thats why i worked on this. and then i got stressed over this 💀💀💀 #speaking of chess ive always wanted a chessboard birthday cake with edible pieces .. that a lotta work tho ... #i love chess ... am i good at it probably not but i still lke to play it on my phone sometimes .. #guess ill work on that other thing now that im free and i know what i wanna do now that ive slept on it ... lol ... #mk bye i dont like rendering

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

and so i return to my roots of eating half a cantaloupe in one sitting

#its so fuckign good... Deliciousness... #*gollum voice* so juicy sweeeeeet!!!! #except yk. instead of a fish its a glorious melon #this morning isnt Great but mmmmm i have a cantaloupe so its not that bad!!! #absolutely unprompted #what will i do today... fold laundry probably. bring in more wood. install my new mattress #oh im so happy to have a new mattress! ive been using the same one since *dial up tone* freshman year!! #so.. about six years. jeebus criminy on a crisis cracker no wonder its uncomfortable #maybe ill work on a crochet project for a bit too #shit ill need to start thinking about christmas presents. ~Its The Most Stressful Time of The Year~ #i need to finish my grampa's lap blanket... figure out what to make for everyone else... #'everyone else' four whole people. two parents and two friends smh #wait no. three people. i just need to finish what ive already started #or start over bc it looks terrible and i feel bad lol

[flamestar126]

One last glance at a former rival

bonus + original photo below cut

#is he away? dead? neither they're just partners now #i was thinking of killing him off but that sounds like so much more work #plus im not an angsty person :DDD #mandark is judging his pose. it's not his fault. it's the photographer's fault. it just looked awkward drawing any other pose lol #i like to think he liked to stare at his rival's billboard. just staring. #he stares longingly at dexter like the pining fool he is #dexter: where were you! you were supposed to be here to help me pack up! #dark: I was. . . busy. doesn't want to admit that he DID spend time with him but as in staring at ad of his face for uncomfy amount of time #an idiot in love your honor #they're also not together YET in this. they're just mutually working together. dark has a major crush cuz i like him tripping over himself #i am kinda late to this meme. i was thinking about it forever and never got around to it till now #been in art frenzy today. finished 4 pieces that i put off for a while #draws a somewhat serious scene. me: . . . but what if there was some humor. some silly. something to absolute shatter the moment- #dexter's laboratory #dexter's lab #dexdark #dexter #mandark #flame draws

[brothfan1997]

the problem with working a job where u interact with like 1500 people per day & u are supposed to be charming and informative the whole time is that sometimes you are so weird on accident?? and u say something that is so weird to say to another person out loud ?? and u just have to be like :) lets pretend that was normal. do you have any other questions

#me sitting at my table in silence recounting my day and visibly wincing repeatedly etc etc #to be fair to myself people say really weird things to me and then i have to respond. #i think sometimes disney adults expect childrens museum employees to all be like disneyland character employees. #which we are not i’m not actually doing a bit i’m just some guy who works here and will talk to your kid about dinosaurs ?? #if your kid points to a dead bug and asks if its dead (this is in the context of letting children touch preserved specimens) #im literally not gonna play along and lie to your child that is ridiculous #its not sleeping. i am here to talk about science #LOL i will probably delete this later i am so exhausted holiday break sure is… breaking me… #2600 people today… #unrelated sometimes people come up to me later to compliment my stage shows and i think in the new year #im just gonna start being like :) what parts did you enjoy ? elaborate please #i feel like im doing improv all the time.

[why-the-heck-not]

hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’ #the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn) #april 2023 #2023

[cloudysfluffs]

Don’t listen to haters, everything ever spread about Vivzie was disproven. Your art is cute.

LMAOOOOOOOO NO IT WASNT????????!!??!?!?

#WEIRD take man #first of all there are so many accusations about viv this is so unspecefic #also. no they havent?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ive seen so much proof. i see more every single day #i mean thank you. for the compliment. #but being critical about media (even media you enjoy) is a good thing. #its important to unpack how the creators beliefs influence the work they produce #disc horse #this is the first thing i saw when i woke up today and it baffled me so much that i couldnt sleep more like i planned lol #anyway. im not saying anyone cant enjoy the show(s). obviously i do A LITTLE if im making fanart #im not saying you have to drop a media if its creators are problematic. in facf i dont like that take #just remember you are not immune to propaganda and vivzies rac/ist/anti/semetic opinions are very much influencing these characters writing #and things like her (SELF ADMITTED) ra/pe fet/ish arent helping. #sorry. this is a rant ive been wanting to say for a while bur have never got to lol #im just so confhsed by what this person even meant??? some of the bad shit shes done is IN THE SHOW. its in there #you can see it. with your eyes . help #anyway again this is literally the first thing i saw when i woke up LMAO if i completely misinterpreted this ask lemme knkw #the assumption that ive just taken the word of a few ''haters'' and havent done my own research into this topic is kind of insulting #what did you expect me to say....??? did you think id just be like 'oh ok :3' ans blindly retract all negative statements

[liquidstar]

I'm glad the "Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize" meme is getting critiqued in its usage because... While the sentiment itself is absolutely true... I feel like sometimes, perhaps, it's not a work of fiction's fault that you're personally bad at picking up on satire

#im thinking about how i saw a person say futurama is bad because bad things still exist in the future #and its like. thats the point though? #the joke is literally the idea that if we never learn and grow from these problems as a society these are the hyperbolic extremes #that they would come to etc etc #do i think it was all well handled? probably not. it had a 14 year run im sure it fumbled lots of stuff and has shit that doesnt hold up #but i feel like dismissing it entirely based on just- #''but bad stuff happens. and i want the future to be better so this bums me out'' is just dumb LOL like thats literally the point #theyre taking the problems of today and making them into crazy hyperbolic extremes to mock them THATS WHAT SATIRE IS #there is a clarity of purpose youre just bad at picking up on it. NIXON WAS THE FUCKING PRESIDENT IN THAT SHOW FOR CHRIST SAKE #WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK ''AMERICA'S FAVORITE SUICIDE BOOTH SINCE ****2008****'' COULD MEAN? #idk. this site is bad media literacy r us why take it seriously. but i am. bc its frustrating #bc that quote on its own is sooooo good at explaining why some ''satire'' is bad and doesnt work #but ppl who dont know how to engage w media beyond a surface level have taken it and turned it into like #''this is bad bc i didnt get it'' ok. sounds like a you problem. #but posting this is scary bc im afraid itll be used for the other extreme .-.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

[sydmarch]

spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually

#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like #despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i #i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety #and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn #& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options. #like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow? #like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!! #i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id #probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more #if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i #didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions #to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all #like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment #& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@ #texticles #anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Fellow Psych enjoyer!! Im watchin psych at this very moment lol, i know its a tough question bc i dont even have a definitive answer but like, what's your favorite episode?

hmmm well i did very much enjoy the episode where Lassiter & Henry bond over fishing... i also like the episode where Shawn gets kidnapped & ends up on top of a moving car <3

#ive seen some episodes out of order #since my friend used choice ones to get me interested lol (it very much worked!) #but i only started watching it all the way through yesterday #so im only on season 2 :/ #i also loved the one i just watched - the counterfeiting episode! twas funny #but really since im binging the show they're all kinda blending together lmao #And its mostly on as background so there are some where i have no idea what happened or what it was about #rambles from the bog #tbh a lot of the time watching it #i find myself sitting here and going: man. if it was made pretty much the exact same way just with today's climate #it wouldve been even fucking funnier #bc obviously the humor in the show is kinda Dated! there's a lot of times where im sitting here going 'oh that was bad taste' #or 'oh that would Not fly today' #but it is a really good show #easier to enjoy when you understand the era it was made in & accept that there's gonna be unsavory bits #honestly its interesting! im on s.2 which was released in 2007 i think #and i believe i was like... around five years old? i dont really remember Living the time period! #so its interesting to see! its a whole different range of slang and american culture & tech! #all i really remember is the phones... i remember the awe when someone at school turned up with a touchscreen #they were pretty fuckin new so they were expensive & my parents could afford one #so my first phone was your average flip phone. it served its purpose! i loved listening to the ringtones! that was my spotify <3 #anyway wait fuck what were we talking about #OH RIGHT PSYCH. um. yes🤝 #i dont like shawn's dad! lassiter is probably my favorite! i may have a crush on juliet! shawn is the most bishrekxual man i have ever seen #gus deserves better & more screen time! the whole show is just really good #*old man voice* they just dont make em like they used to.... #said both positively and negatively. some aspects are good they're gone. other aspects... sigh

[non-un-topo]

Ruminating on the possibility that a few weeks ago I shelved some books that hadn't been returned in the system yet and I'm gonna be panicking about this all fucking weekend

#IF i did that. it was before i knew anything about how to put the books back in the system so they're not on loan anymore #and i always ask before i shelf books #so i must have asked. and whoever it was must have said something like 'those need to be returned' #or something similar. and i must have taken that as they need to be returned to the SHELVES. #im freaking out bc we got a call today from a student who had returned a book 2 weeks ago but her account still had it loaned #and lo and behold i found the book on the shelf and corrected the mistake #but what if that was me. what if i did that two weeks ago #because i think i recognized the book?????? maybe? #i have no fucking idea how to fix this or how to bring it up with my supervisor #lol i keep thinking im going to get fired over the tiniest things but they literally cant fire me #im there on a bursary lol. but really that dry cleaners i worked at once really severely fucked me up i guess #but back to the issue at hand WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

[weirdopponent]

Today she is red. Glazed in impatient strokes of mine, a gift, red like cremation, like the still-living coals.

She bows her head, a lamb, and allows me to touch her face. She shakes, but is not flinching. "I don't have to do it like this."

Grace does not say anything. Grace pushes into my hands, till they curve under her jaw. Till I can feel the shape of her skull. Till I can time the pace of blood running through her heart. She knows it was a lie - no one else will be able to love her like this, as she is, as she will be.

I break her into pieces.

I dismantle her. I smash her with my open palm until she becomes a formless crumple, blood blooming slowly with each strike. Her dark hair I hack off with safety scissors like gravestones crumbling in bad weather. Her clothes I burn in the industrial furnace - nothing I can keep, so ash it all will be.

The rest is all artifice - I do not change her skin. I open it, step inside it, wearing it, I become her. I wear a too-tight sports bra that makes my ribs ache, each breath restrained against the form, precious. And with the right shirt - it almost looks like me. The memory of her lies crumpled at my feet, an unceremonious death. It hurts like nothing else could hurt, to outlive your daughter. But that's no problem of mine.

Today I am red. My nail polish is chipping, stains the cuticles like blood. Mother looks at me like it is blood, like Grace's body lies crumpled on my feet, instead of in the lines of mine. "I am the only way she could be."

#today she is red (wip) #wip wednesday #creative writing #writers on tumblr #originals #i think this is the last bit of this one im gonna post here #its almost done actually i think i just need to tighten it up a bit and finish a few more sections #i really wanna make a website to host my finished original stuff cause like #i know i COULD use ao3 but i dont rlly wanna abuse its policies too hard #not that they do anything about it 🙄 #it would just be nicer to have my own place for my own work i guess #idk how to code tho i know the basics bc like #ofc i do. #but to do what i Want to do is like. it would take a lot of time and practice #i could...... like........ pay someone? #ANYWAYS. #idk if posting here 3xw is rlly sustainable cause i write so slow #and i dont really want to publish the whole thing HERE #we;ll see #actuallu i change my mind abt the community label its really brief violence lol

[milflewis]

sometimes the love i have for my mam just really comes out and hits me in the stomach and now i’m sitting here with my feet in a river. trying not to cry

#like. she is not perfect! not even close. and so much of what i don’t like about me came from her but god. i do love her. more importantly i #like her. and she is trying! they’re both trying so fucking hard and i needed that ten years ago but it is here Now! this is what i get! #and it isn’t what i should’ve gotten but it is what i get and it’s still pretty fucking good if im being fair #just had a chat with her about me and some revelations i’ve about how i go through life and think and function and how shit i am at it lol #and she was like. ok. ok we can work with that. what do you need. #are u kidding me!!!!!! this would not have happened five years ago and it’s happening now ! the sheer relief i felt i think i might #get sick lmao. just. she loves me. we’re trying. it’s a good day today #delete later

[chikaoofka]

had a thought for a moment . so you know in loathing the currency is meat yeah . so what would they call stuff like a twenty or one grand . i think it’d be something stupid like 1 grand = a whole turkey or something

also something i thought is… does ‘money’ as a word exist? should it? or is it just meat? cos meat could replace at the very least a lot of contexts where money would fit AND it’s one whole syllable less. So . idk :P

also on the topic of money. what is meat . where did it come from . is it like gold where it’s worth a lot cos of actual genuine value or is it like paper money where it’s got value cos The Economy or something I Guess . would there be inflation? was there stress over the introduction of vaguely valued meat? most definitely overthinking the loathing economy but it’s cool to ME ok!!!!!!! Though most likely it’s still a rarity-based value system (like gold) at least back when WoL takes place since you straight up MINE meat at points though at the same time that would mean meat has really really low value cos the prices are really high (a book costing 1000 meat? yeesh PLUS how easy it is to GET MEAT) thouuughhh maybe in SoL it’s changed but I don’t remember the prices well enough from either game to make any kinda conclusions? lol

#ive already got like morsels for pence or ‘being paid with morsels’ instead of being paid in peanuts #sorry i think about this a lot…………… what would change in the loathing dialect more generally i suppose……. even if just in america #ikea checkout section #also for the record all the economy stuff i have no idea what im saying for the most part . i dont have experience w economies or whatever #i just kinda know how money works #lol #also sorry I HAD A LOT OF THOUGHTS TODAY #NO IDEA WHY #loathing games