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#this is truly the same effect that reading lamb to the slaughter had on me when i was 14
hydratedghostcamp · 3 years
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recently read the lottery by shirley jackson and im not sure I'll ever recover from this
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ae0nx · 3 years
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FRUITS BASKET EPISODE 21 RECAP
Ahh jeez... I just got my first COVID vaccine injection yesterday and had a rough night dealing with the side effects so all the emotions in this episode hit me when I was pretty vulnerable... really HARD. My God. Also, this was a really great tie in to the previous two episodes that I almost wish I’d put this recap together with the last two but c’est la vie.
I dunno if I’ll make it through writing this recap without tearing up but here we gooooo
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Lol, I literally muttered an ‘oh, shit’ the minute this episode started cos I knew I was in to be emotionally tortured. Like a lamb being brought in for slaughter... 😭
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I’ve always found it interesting how the other Soma family members are so willing and passionate to uphold the standards and traditions especially when it comes towards the zodiac members. It’s a bit confusing at times because it seems like everyone cares about these values a lot more than the actual zodiac do themselves, but I get the impression that Takaya-sensei is using this dynamic to talk mostly about how traditions can be soured over time. Mostly because of people ironically lol 
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...I do get a little curious as to how big of an effect the curse has on interactions between the zodiac members....
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...How much is Akito an asshole cos of the curse and how much are they an asshole because of how they were raised/who they are? I don’t even have any other thoughts about this besides sometimes the line between the effects of the curse vs their actual personality gets quite blurred. There’s also a lot of ‘cause to effect’ that happens to all the zodiac members in general, which blurs it even more. Another thought to come back to some day...
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(What’s the age difference between Shigure and Akito? 🧐)
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Awww yay! Baby zodiac! Anyway, let’s go through the different members to distract from the sads! :
Is Kureno the oldest zodiac? He almost looks the same 😂
The layout of the scene is great: Yuki and Kureno being the closest to ‘God’, yet compared to all the other group interactions are the furthest apart from one another, remaining at their assigned stations. Silent and alone.
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Hatori remains at his seat as well but is slightly distracted by warm-hearted Momiji!
I’m so glad that Hatori and Momiji have had this parent-child/big brother-little brother/Mori and Honey-senpai dynamic since practically the beginning! ...Wait, is this just after Hatori-
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Ritsu and Kagura being cute af! I wish we saw more of their relationship in present day
And Haru... in a daze... haha
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Maybe I’m just going overboard with my feelings of contempt but even seeing younger Rin sit by Shigure creeps me out, man. And considering Akito’s feelings about Rin... it kinda makes this moment a bit... ergh lol
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I LOVE HOW MANY ‘MEAN GIRLS’ VIBES I GOT FROM THIS FRAME. 😍😂✨ This is the most perfect and probably most underrated frame from the show thus far lmao
Anyway, jokes over. Back to the story lol
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<3<3<3<3 He thought Kyo was pretty... 😭✨
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Ah boy... all the characters in this show are so emotionally intelligent a lot of the time that I forget that they are also kids who fuck up and forget about other people’s feelings because of their own pain!
But damn. Between Kyo’s reaction and Yuki’s mother and Akito being a jerk, it’s... a lot.
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I tend to forget that Hatori had been doing this memory erasing from a young age (considering he also erased Momiji’s mothers memory before this too). How traumatising would that have been for him as well? You definitely get the impression that Hatori carries a lot of weight on his shoulders just through seeing him but I am curious about a lot more of Hatori’s story around the early years.
- Yuki being the connecting figure between Kyo and Tohru through the hat is just... YES.
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Everything about these scenes of seeing Yuki in that dark room, wasting away in a chair due to his emotions and his physical condition was heartbreaking. He truly had no one that had his back and he’s just a child! ...Yep, I think this when the build-up of tears began.
Him describing about just wanting to get out and get away without really knowing what he was going to do was too close to home and Eric Vale’s performance in this was amazing and I was tears.
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We love her!
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...
Everything about this sequence was perfect. I always go on about the opening and ending songs but the score to this scene was amazing and really rang out to the emotions of the scene. I don’t think I’ve been emotionally moved by the score this much since the Yuki and Tohru beach moment and the True Form arc. 
Also, the fact that these kids (Yuki and Tohru) are desperately running around the streets at night, one trying to find home, one trying to find meaning was beautiful. However... I’m pretty sure when Tohru described this event it wasn’t set at night in her memory? It looked like it was the afternoon from what I remember, maybe I’m wrong. (But if I’m right, that’s an interesting depiction on how Tohru sees trauma)
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I can’t look at this screencap without tearing up... <3
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💗
Yuki’s Best Boi of this episode, OF COURSE. 
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He said it!!
When I originally read this bit in the manga, I didn’t really understand having a parental-child relationship with someone the same age as you. And then, I definitely began to understand how in my twenties, haha. The love that Takaya-sensei has for showing platonic relationships as just as meaningful and impactful as romantic relationships is always great and refreshing to see.
Fruits Basket is about how love can be shown in many different ways. <3
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...This episode was a lot! I don’t think a Fruits Basket episode has made me cry since the True Form arc! I’ve always liked Yuki as a character but I think I’ve found a brand new understanding and connection with his character this turn around. Don’t make me choose between him and Kyo though... haha
Was the new Season 3 episode a proper storyline episode or a season recap one? (It’s listed as episode 0 on my funimation account so I was just wondering...)
But we’ll eventually get there...
See you soooon!!!
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dearest-bucky · 4 years
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I think I’m in love... just a little bit (One Shot)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: An undercover mission brings to surface some underlying feelings.
Words: 2.9K
Warnings: mutual pining? 
A/n: This fic is inspired by one scene of the movie “The man from U.N.C.L.E” that I saw a few days ago after Meg’s @searchingforbucky post on her blog. I really loved the movie and I wanted to write something similar. p.s Meg I’m sorry you’re getting a second notification for this. 🙈
Originally posted: August 12, 2020
"I hate this." He grumbled from the chair he was sitting, positioned behind the large window to keep an eye on the street below.
Y/n let out a sigh, but didn't say anything to him. What could she say really? Ever since they'd arrived in the hotel yesterday morning he'd been complaining the whole time, so Y/n just let him let it all out, let him whine as much as he wanted while she prepared for her part of the mission.
She was drawing her winged eyeliner in front of the mirror, carefully gliding the flat tip of the brush on her lid, then angling it a little upwards to draw the wing. The precision with which she moved her hand, the careful movement; Bucky glanced her way in wonder as he saw her put on make up. She was so invested in it. Truly, an art in itself.
Yet, he still couldn't help but be annoyed with the entire situation in general. "I'm not even a spy. I'm a fucking soldier." He said as she finished the eyeliner on the other eye, completely unbothered by him talking.
"I don't know why I agreed to this mission in the first place. I just think it would be better if- "
For the first time in the last hour, she finally decided to reply to him. Putting the eyeliner down and turning towards him, she spoke up, interrupting his rant. "Because T'Challa is your friend and he asked this as a favor from you. Now quit whining and start getting dressed. We'll have to make an appearance in less than an hour in the ballroom downstairs."
That shut him up effectively. He got up from the chair he was previously sitting, put the binoculars on the small table next to the chair and walked to the closet where his suit was hanging, fresh from the dry cleaners.
In just a few minutes he was dressed and his hair slicked back, gathered in a low man bun at the nape of his neck. He cleaned up nice, if he dared say so himself.
Y/n on the other hand, had moved to the adjacent bathroom to change into her gown for the night, a floor length navy blue dress that hugged her curves beautifully. She walked back in the room, holding the front of her dress with her hand. "Can you please help me zip this up?"
He picked his head up to look at her, mouth going dry in an instant. She looked so beautiful. No, the word beautiful didn't do her any justice. Bucky thought there was no word in the English language - or in any of the other languages he spoke - that could truly describe the way she looked, standing there in front of him.
After a short moment, he broke out of his stupor and moved to her. "Yeah, sure." He mumbled as he positioned himself behind her, flesh hand reaching for her zipper and the metal one resting lightly on her hip. He could feel her shiver in front of him as he slowly glided the zipper up. "You're shivering." He spoke and she turned her head slightly to the side, their eyes meeting for the briefest second.
"Just nervous about the mission."
He finished with the zipper and placed his flesh hand on her other hip, holding her in place, his warm breath hitting the skin of her neck. "Don't be. I'll be with you the entire time." It was supposed to be a reassurance and it worked, but as he kept her close to his body, she started shivering for a whole different reason. She simply nodded her head and moved away from his touch, suddenly too overwhelmed to be in his presence. The tension in the room were palpable. The unspoken feelings kept secret inside their chests.
"Are you ready to head out?"
Another nod and she looped her arm to his and they walked out of their shared room, entering the elevator in the corridor and moving down to the ballroom where a party was being held in honor of a politician neither of them couldn't care less about.
However, in the same place was secretly happening the illegal sale of some stolen piece of Wakandan vibranium. One of the acquaintances of the aforementioned politician was to do business with some weapons dealers from Middle East and apparently the business would take place during the party where everyone's inhibitions were low because of the flowing alcohol and they'd be unsuspecting of what was really going on.
That was about to be ruined though, because king T'Challa knew all about the plans of that thief so he'd send Bucky and Y/n to put an end to the whole thing.
They walked slowly in the ballroom, discreetly looking around to take note to all the exit points, scanning the place around for any unexpected but still possible threats. To the untrained eye, they were just another fancy couple attending the party, both dressed to the nines, enjoying the expensive party.
They made their way to the bar, Bucky ordering both of their drinks. She sipped a small sip from hers, hoping the alcohol would help her relax a bit. It wasn't her first undercover mission, however it was the first one where she was alone with Bucky and she wanted to succeed, to prove to him that she was as good of a spy as Natasha. Not that he doubted her abilities, but still.
They'd been there for at least an hour when his eyes fixed on something behind her head. As they were looking around the place, Bucky caught one of the weapons dealers walking to the exit. "Stay here, I'll be right back." He whispered to Y/n in a rush and pecked her cheek, trying to keep their cover.
She wanted to ask him where he was going, but Bucky was already gone, leaving her alone at the bar. She turned to the bar counter and picked up her glass, taking another small sip, enough to wet her red lips.
She was playing with the seam of her glass, tracing its outline with her finger in circular motion when she felt another presence behind her.
"It's truly a shame to leave such a stunning lady as yourself alone at a party." The voice said and she turned her head to look at the new man who was now at her side. She gave him a tight smile, seeming uninterested and turned her head towards the party, ignoring the man.
This wasn't part of the plan, but seeing that the man came to her like the lamb in the slaughter, she wasn't stupid to pass this golden opportunity.
"Allow me to buy you a drink." The man spoke up again after a short moment of silence and she wanted to scoff at how bad he was at this, picking up women.
Her mission required her to be serious and collected, so she acted exactly that. "No, thank you." She replied curtly, knowing that her refusal would only spur him to insist more with her.
Just like she thought, the man wouldn't give up, and after a few minutes of acting totally indifferent and uninterested, she knew she had to change tactics if she wanted to win him over. She felt disgusted with herself, but it had to be done. The things she had to do for a mission!
"I would love it if you'd be able to accompany me tomorrow for a business lunch." He said over a glass of expensive whiskey that was so strong even its smell was enough to get Y/n drunk. "Then after that we could go anywhere you'd like. I'm sure there are many interesting things to do in this city." His hand that wasn't holding the glass moved to touch her bare arm and she wanted to crawl in her skin just to not feel his touch but she had to act flattered and interested for the sake of the mission. She knew what the 'business lunch' was and if this man was dumb enough to invite a total stranger to his illegal deals she wasn't going to complain. He probably thought she was a brainless bimbo who only lived by her looks and that's exactly what she wanted him to keep thinking.
A smile made its way to her face and just as she was about to reply and accept his offer, Bucky returned again, his eyes darkening when he saw the man's hand on her arm, looking at her as if she were a piece of meat and he, the hungry wolf. He hated that look and he did his best to not break the man's fingers, opting to just loop his arm around Y/n's waist rather possessively and throwing daggers with his eyes to the man. "Sorry I was away for too long baby." His words were spoken sweetly and directed to Y/n, but his eyes that were still on the man said another story. "I'm afraid we have to cut this night short."
This was confusing. They weren't supposed to leave. She gave a questioning look to Bucky but couldn't read him at all. Damn Winter Soldier. His hand around her waist just tightened a bit, squeezing her hip lightly and she didn't question him anymore.
"It was a pleasure meeting you, mr. Teller." She spoke to the man on her other side rather sweetly, trying to keep the cover intact. "I'm afraid I have to leave now."
The man was left a little confused too by the presence of Bucky, but he didn't comment on it. He just put his hand in his pocket and fished out a business card, handing it to Y/n. "My number, so we can talk about tomorrow."
When she stretched her hand to grab the piece of paper he swiped it and kissed the back of her hand in a chivalrous manner, slightly bowing in front of her. "And believe me, the pleasure has been all mine, my dear."
Bucky couldn't wait to get away from him. He didn't know how he controlled himself to not punch the man right then and there, but he was glad he did, otherwise they'd fail in their mission. And the last thing he wanted was to let T'Challa down.
They moved quickly to the exit, walking across the long lobby of the hotel towards the elevator again. When the doors of the elevator finally closed, that's when Y/n voiced her questions. "What happened? Why did we leave? I was about to gain access to their meeting tomorrow, their deal would take place in that lunch."
He only released his bowtie, not answering her questions, so she kept asking. "Do you understand that I had him? You almost cost us this mission, and for what? For what Bucky?" She didn't realize she'd been raising her voice with each question she asked.
He finally picked his head up to look at her, his eyes had returned to their usual soft blue but his face was set in a scowl. "You don't know that."
She only scoffed at his words. The doors of the elevator opened to the floor their room was located and while they walked through the corridor to their room, none of them said a word, not wanting to be heard from the wrong people.
Bucky opened the door and entered the room first, Y/n following him and closing the door behind her back, locking it just in case. Just as the lock clicked she spoke up again.
"I'm going to that lunch tomorrow."
"Not happening."
She sighed in frustration, suddenly feeling as if she was speaking to the wall. "Look, all I know is that Teller being all over me would help us with the mission more than we can imagine."
"What help can he be? He's a thief. He's up to no good." Bucky threw the jacket of his suit on the bed, the bowtie following too.
"If by up to no good you mean he's trying to steal me away from my 'fiancé' then yes, he's up to no good."
"Exactly, a thief!" He exclaimed and Y/n scoffed in annoyance at his reaction.
"I don't know why you're so upset about it. You're not my real fiancé Buck."
At that, he turned to face her again, nostrils flaring in anger, but he controlled himself before he said something he could regret later. He drew in a short breath, calming himself relatively before replying to her. "As far as he is concerned, I am. And for the purpose of the mission, I am. So like I said, not happening."
She wanted to punch him in his beautiful face, she was so mad at him she couldn't even look at him anymore, but the mission was more important than their fight, so she willed herself to calm down too and ask him again, albeit a little harshly. "Okay then, my dear fiancé, how do you suggest we do this?"
"We don't." He replied shortly and Y/n could only stare at him, dumbfounded by his answer, but she waited for him to continue speaking and explain what was happening.
"When I left earlier I followed one of the dealers Teller was going to sell the vibranium to and I found out the place of the exchange of the vibranium. The lunch tomorrow is only a formality, a way to close the deal in papers. The real exchange will happen somewhere else."
She processed his words for a while and then she asked. "Where do we have to go then?"
"Us? Nowhere. I spoke to T'Challa and gave him the location of the exchange, he and Okoye will take care of it. Our mission is over now." He explained.
"Oh." Was the only thing she said. If she was being honest with herself, she'd been looking forward to a little real action with those bastards, but apparently T'Challa had other plans, so she couldn't do anything about it. "Okay then."
By now Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed, having unbuttoned the two upper buttons of his white dress shirt.  "Tomorrow we can head back home." He said to her and she only nodded in response.
She walked to the bathroom silently to remove the make up and get out of the dress she was wearing, changing into a mismatched pajama that consisted in a large shirt she had borrowed from Steve? Or was it Sam? and a pair of cotton shorts.
When she returned to the room she saw Bucky had changed too, instead of the suit he was now wearing grey sweats and a tank top. "Do you want me to order you anything for dinner? I'm calling the room service."
"No thanks. I'm just gonna hit the sack."
He picked up the phone and ordered something to eat for himself, while Y/n got in her bed, fluffing the pillow before laying down on her side, facing Bucky.
There were two single beds in the room, so at least she didn't have to worry about sharing with him for the night. She closed her eyes, trying to will herself to fall asleep, but the thoughts in her head were too much. She still couldn't make sense of Bucky's earlier outburst about Teller but despite the fact that she was dying to know what was he really thinking, she knew better than to poke the bear.
Soon enough, exhaustion took over and she was out like a light.
Bucky could tell from the very first second she fell asleep. Her breathing evened out and her heartbeat slowed down considerably.
After he had his dinner, he tried to read for a while before bed, but after a while closed the book, not wanting to bother Y/n with the light that came strong from the bedside lamp. He laid down and closed his eyes with a silent exhale, thinking back to everything that happened earlier.
He guessed he had overreacted, but he couldn't help himself but see red when he noticed that bastard touch Y/n as if she were his. Y/n was no one's but her own and Bucky knew that, despite his reasons for getting mad at the other man being totally selfish.
He didn't have the courage to come clean to Y/n about his feelings for her so he used the mission as reason for his outburst. Truth is, Bucky had the hugest crush on Y/n since the first time he saw her but another truth is that Bucky is a coward when it comes to his happiness, so he never said anything to her, never even tried to give her any hint  about it.
Now as he laid down, facing her from the small distance that separated their beds, he felt like the biggest idiot in the world. He acted like a jerk with her.
Sleep didn't come to him for most of the night, thoughts plaguing his mind incessantly. However, the last thought that went through his head before he fell asleep, was Y/n and how much he wanted to tell her how he felt about her. If only he could find the courage to do so.
Maybe one day he would do that. Maybe.
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dfroza · 4 years
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when God replaced the old pattern with the New Covenant
for the old existed to point to the True fulfillment of the new, and it all leads to grace.
Today’s reading from the book of Hebrews:
Even that first covenant had rules and regulations about how to worship and how to set up an earthly sanctuary for God. In the Book of Exodus, we read how the first tent was set aside for worship—we call it the holy place—how inside it they placed an oil lamp, a table, and the bread that was consecrated to God. Behind a second dividing curtain, there was another tent which is called the most holy place. In there they placed the golden incense altar and the golden ark of the covenant. Inside the ark were the golden urn that contained manna (the miraculous food God gave our ancestors in the desert), Aaron’s rod that budded, and the tablets of the covenant that Moses brought down from the mountain. Above the ark were the golden images of heavenly beings of glory who shadowed the mercy seat.
I cannot go into any greater detail about this now. When all is prepared as it is supposed to be, the priests go back and forth daily into the first tent to carry out the duties described in the law. But once a year, the high priest goes alone into that second tent, the most holy place, with blood to offer for himself and the unwitting errors of the people. As long as that first tent is standing, the Holy Spirit shows us, the way into the most holy place has not yet been revealed to us. That first tent symbolizes the present time, when gifts and sacrifices can be offered; but it can’t change the heart and conscience of the worshiper. These gifts and sacrifices deal only with regulations for the body—food and drink and various kinds of ritual cleansings necessary until the time comes to make things truly right.
When the Anointed One arrived as High Priest of the good things that are to come, He entered through a greater and more perfect sanctuary that was not part of the earthly creation or made by human hands. He entered once for all time into the most holy place—entering, not with the blood of goats or calves or some other prescribed animal, but offering His own blood and thus obtaining redemption for us for all time. Think about it: if the blood of bulls or of goats, or the sprinkling of ashes from a heifer, restores the defiled to bodily cleanliness and wholeness; then how much more powerful is the blood of the Anointed One, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself as a spotless sacrifice to God, purifying your conscience from the dead things of the world to the service of the living God?
This is why Jesus is the mediator of the new covenant: through His death, He delivered us from the sins that we had built up under the first covenant, and His death has made it possible for all who are called to receive God’s promised inheritance. For whenever there is a testament—a will—the death of the one who made it must be confirmed because a will takes effect only at the death of its maker; it has no validity as long as the maker is still alive. Even the first testament—the first covenant—required blood to be put into action. When Moses had given all the laws of God to the people, he took the blood of calves and of goats, water, hyssop, and scarlet wool; and he sprinkled the scroll and all the people, telling them, “This is the blood of the covenant that God has commanded for us.” In the same way, he also sprinkled blood upon the sanctuary and upon the vessels used in worship. Under the law, it’s almost the case that everything is purified in connection with blood; without the shedding of blood, sin cannot be forgiven.
Since what was given in the old covenant was the earthly sketch of the heavenly reality, this was sufficient to cleanse the earthly sanctuary; but in heaven, a more perfect sacrifice was needed. The Anointed One did not enter into handcrafted sacred spaces—imperfect copies of heavenly originals—but into heaven itself, where He stands in the presence of God on our behalf. There He does not offer Himself over and over as a sacrifice (as the high priest on earth does when he enters the most holy place each year with blood other than his own) because that would require His repeated suffering since the beginning of the world. No, He has appeared once now, at the end of the age, to put away sin forever by offering Himself as a sacrifice.
Just as mortals are appointed to die once and then to experience a judgment, so the Anointed One, our Liberating King, was offered once in death to bear the sins of many and will appear a second time, not to deal again with sin, but to rescue those who eagerly await His return.
The Book of Hebrews, Chapter 9 (The Voice)
and paired with this is chapter 3 in the book of Leviticus that contains some of the old instructions given to the Hebrews for various offerings:
Eternal One: Any time one of you presents a sacrifice from the herd as a peace offering, you must offer only an unblemished cow or bull before Me.
Eternal One: You will put your hand on the animal’s head and slaughter it at the entrance of the congregation tent. Aaron’s sons, the priests, will splatter its blood against the sides of the altar. From the sacrifice of the peace offerings, you must bring to Me as a fire-offering the fat covering and surrounding the animal’s organs, the two kidneys and also the fat on them from the loins, and the lobe of the liver (which will be removed along with the kidneys). Aaron’s sons will offer this peace offering on top of the burnt offering on the altar, and the smoke of the sacrifice will rise and be a pleasant aroma to Me.
If the animal sacrifice for the peace offering to Me is of the flock, then you must offer an unblemished male or female. If you bring a lamb as your offering before Me, you must place your hand on the head of the offering and slaughter it at the entrance of the congregation tent. Aaron’s sons will then splatter the blood of the lamb against the sides of the altar. From the peace offering, you must bring to Me as a fire-offering its fat, the tail (which is to be cut off near the backbone), the fat covering and surrounding the organs, the two kidneys and the fat on them from the loins, and the lobe of the liver (which must be removed along with the kidneys). The priest will then offer all these on the altar as a fire-offering to Me.
If you bring a goat as your offering before Me, you must place your hand on its head and slaughter it at the entrance of the congregation tent. Aaron’s sons will then splatter its blood against the sides of the altar. From this offering, you must bring to Me as a fire-offering the fat covering and surrounding the organs, the two kidneys and the fat on them near the loins, and the lobe of the liver (which must be removed along with the kidneys). The priest will then offer all these on the altar, and the smoke of the sacrifice will rise and be a pleasant aroma. All the fat belongs to Me.
Do not eat any fat or blood. This directive stands throughout all generations regardless of where you live.
The Book of Leviticus, Chapter 3 (The Voice)
my personal reading of the Scriptures for Wednesday, April 29 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs
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