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#this is true btw. after i pulled her. me game crashed n it all went down from there
dinomintz · 3 years
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shout out to the cookie who not only crashed my phoned but bricked it as well
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The Cannibals Curse
Based off of THIS post by @dafaq2, which I absolutely loved, btw.
It had been a few years since Mark had crashed on that archipelago with his best friend and honestly, it hadn’t been that bad. The food was great, the company was fun, and he’d barely been sad or panicked.
They played a lot of games similar to the ones their friend had seen on TV before he’d been trapped on the island. Apparently Friendo, the only thing he let them call him, had watched a lot of game shows in his youth.
He’d also learned that feeling bad was a BIG nono. To quote Friendo, ‘All the world’s a game show and there are two types of people on. The players who have no control, and the host who set the game. You need to stay smiling so you can become a host yourself… Like Me...’ Whenever Mark or his friend frowned cried or panicked or so much as frowned, he’d become twitchy and threaten them with his knife.
‘I think we should leave,’ his best friend had signed to him on several occasions. Mark would always respond with ‘Nonsense. Friendo is perfectly fine! He’s been feeding us and helping us have a jolly old time. Besides, it was your idea to come in,’ which they would frown, nod, and continue on with life.
It had been a few years since Mark had crashed on that archipelago with his best friend and honestly, it hadn’t been that bad. The food was great, the company was fun, and he’d barely been sad or panicked. 
They played a lot of games similar to the ones their friend had seen on TV before he’d been trapped on the island. Apparently Friendo, the only thing he let them call him, had watched a lot of game shows in his youth.
He’d also learned that feeling bad was a BIG nono. To quote Friendo, ‘All the world’s a game show and there are two types of people on. The players who have no control, and the host who set the game. You need to stay smiling so you can become a host yourself… Like Me...’ Whenever Mark or his friend frowned cried or panicked or so much as frowned, he’d become twitchy and threaten them with his knife.
‘I think we should leave,’ his best friend had signed to him on several occasions. Mark would always respond with ‘Nonsense. Friendo is perfectly fine! He’s been feeding us and helping us have a jolly old time. Besides, it was your idea to come in,’ which they would frown, nod, and continue on with life.
-
Mark sat up in the hammock- his friend had made it for him a few years ago- as he woke up. He looked to the right where his friends’ leaf-padded mattress laid on the ground, only to frown when he realized they weren't there. He remembered that he’d heard some movement in the middle of the night. Something in his gut told him that something was wrong. He quickly shook his head as he got up.
“No matter. Maybe they got up early. There's not a problem with that,” he said. Smiling a bit wider as he made his way into the main part of the cave where Friendo was sitting at the table eating some of the food set out. Just like every meal Friendo made, it was vegetables and some kind of meat.
“Morning, Friendo!” Mark said, grinning brightly as his eyes flickered between the dining throne and the other empty chair before sitting in the empty one, leaving the Special Dining Throne vacant.
“Morning, Pal,” Friendo said, his smile diminishing slightly as his eyes also shot to the Throne. “Why not take the throne today, Friendo?” he asked, laughing a little bit.
“Nah. I had the throne yesterday. It’s not my turn,” Mark said, eyeing the food in front of him. It looked like some kind of pot roast and he couldn’t wait to dig in.
“Yeah, well… our third friend isn’t here right now…” he said, making Mark tear his eyes away from the meal so they landed on the other man. He was cleaner today, surprisingly. Something he only did if he got blood on him from his latest butcher when making food.
“Not here? Where are they?” he asked. Something in the back of his mind kept whispering that something was wrong. Something… wasn’t adding up.
“Oh, they went to the beach. Decided they wanted to spend the day alone there. Don’t worry about them, just enjoy some food and take the dining throne,” he said, waving Mark towards the dining throne.
“No way is that the truth. They hate the beach. Why are you lying?” Mark asked, standing up quickly.
“Ok, Fine! They’re Not Here! Just Eat The D**n Food!” Friendo yelled, his eye twitching as he stood up as well before pulling his knife out of its sheath, making Mark jump back a good few feet.
“I’ve Been Eating Your Food For Five-F**king-Years! How About You Tell Me What That Food Actually Is Before You Start Screaming At Me!” Mark yelled back, grabbing a large bone that had been left in the cave, holding it like a club to defend himself from Friendo.
“Fine!...” Friendo said, his wide grin bordering on satanic. “Fine… fine, fine, fine, fine, fine… FINE! You wanna know where your friend is?”
“Yes!” Mark yelled.
“They’re here, Friend. Right. Over. There,” he said, waving a hand towards the table.
“What… what do you mean?” Mark asked, lowering the bone-club slightly.
“Why… They’re Breakfast! Where Else Do You Think I Get Our Food? People Who Run Away From Me! People Who Don’t Respect Me And My Cave!... Friend, You’ve Been Eatin’ Human…” Friendo said, before breaking down laughing.
Marks' stomach squirmed before dropping completely. Blood was rushing in his ears as his heart thudded, unable to hear Friendo at this point. His breathing came in several harsh gasps and before he was able to understand what he was feeling or why... his vision went red.
-
He didn’t remember anything when he woke up. Sitting on a raft, floating in the ocean. He turned back to stare at the island, which was just barely visible through a thick mist that seemed to be spreading over the water quickly, like claws extending to grab him and never let him leave the island. He shook his head and turned to face the direction he was floating too. There was heavy overcast, but not enough for rain, meaning there probably wouldn’t be some crazy storm like last time he was on a raft like this.
He shook his head, trying to remember how he’d gotten here and where the raft had come from. He didn’t remember much after learning the sick truth about the food he’d been eating. That… food… It hadn’t actually tasted… bad. Like veal, if anything. Actually… it’d been pretty good-
Mark shook his head again. That food came from other human beings. 
He’d had almost eaten his best friend. There was nothing good about it, he told himself. He told himself for the next three days and nights whenever his stomach growled until a large trading ship picked him up. That was what he told himself for the week he was on that vessel whenever he found himself unsatisfied with the food onboard. That’s what he told himself for the two weeks he was in the hospital whenever he ate one of the overly bland meals prepared.
But no matter how many times he said it, it just… didn’t sound true.
One day, in a desperate attempt to forget his misery, he started searching the internet for his old friends. 
He went from friend, to friend, to friend. He became a little saddened when he realized they had appeared to move on without him, but the worst came when he Eventually ended up looking up his girlfriend. In the four years he’d been gone, she’d found someone else and was ENGAGED. 
A part of him, the selfish and egotistical side, wanted to go see her, let her know he was alive, and take her back. His eyes flicked down to a scar on his wrist.
He’d gotten it on the island when he’d gotten hurt when mountain climbing with his best friend, on one of those days where there was nothing to do in the cave and Friendo was ‘busy’. And so, Mark came to the sad truth that life had moved on, and he’d been left in the dust in the process.
That’s when the idea to google his name came up. After several minutes of scrolling through the internet, he found that a grave had been made for him. A sharp pain in his stomach made him forget about that for a minute, before the pain passed and his mind wandered again.
Mark… didn’t exist anymore, he realized. He was still here, yes, but not only was he thought dead by anyone who cared about him, but he wasn’t the same person. Not anymore. His family, his friends, his life, everyone was gone.
Except his appetite.
-
As he walked out of the legal build, he was glad to have a new name. Mark was almost dead. Almost. He had one more thing he needed to do before Mark would be gone and he’d be starting his new job.
One quick walk later, he was entering the cemetery his grave was. It took twice as long to find the ugly stone with his name carved in. He pulled a folded up piece of paper out of his suit jacket, unfolding it as he did. He read it over a few times despite knowing everything on there. His name, date of birth, birthplace, gender, his parents' names, occupations, birthplaces, and his mother’s maiden name. Digging into another pocket, he pulled out a lighter.
“Goodbye, Mark. It wasn’t nice knowing you,” he said before lighting the birth certificate on fire. He dropped it onto the uplifted dirt patch and stood, watching it burn as it started snowing around him.
It was the Tenth of December that he was born. Not that anyone would know but him. Like how they wouldn’t know of the dead body stored in the hidden fridge at his place of business.
-
“Is everyone in place?” Several people yelled backstage as he adjusted his tie. His eyes flickered over to the contestants who would soon be his dinner. After he’d started eating again, he’d been unable to go to long without eating human flesh, almost like with-drawl. His mind would become clouded, too, making him forget things. Not often, but enough that he’d realize he’d forgotten something important like his favorite dogs’ name. So how better to get free food without suspicion, then a game show with all kinds of special effects.
He briefly wondered if this was wrong to eat like this just to remember and avoid withdrawal symptoms, when his mind went to his best friend. The idea of forgetting anything about them confirmed his decision as he was called ahead by another crew member.
The starting music for his show played up and he grinned as he stepped into center stage. Time for another meal and another game.
“Hire my A*s! The Only Game Show That Gives You The Chance To Win Your Dream Job, My Name Is Bim Trimmer, Let’s Meet Our Contests.”
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capbucky-0506 · 7 years
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Formation (MCU GirlsxReader)
Hey Hey Hey! Here’s a oneshot I’ve been working on for a while! Sorry it took so long, my loves! (BTW,  it’s kinda sorta long so...)
"Fury, someone has to go on this damn mission!"
"Nick, none of us are able to!" "What are we gonna do?" Right now, the team was in the briefing room, arguing about the upcoming mission. The mission was to go undercover at a party thrown by a Hydra agent and retrieve a drive containing sensitive information. All of the guys, however, had to go infiltrate a Hydra base the same night, so none of them were able to go. As they were arguing with Fury, you, Wanda, and Natasha sat back and said nothing, watching the fight carefully. "Fury, this is a mission for an entire team and most of the team can't go," Steve says. "We need a plan, fast!" "I understand that, Captain. But there is nobody else to go. This is a mission for the Avengers, not just any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents." "We don't have enough to go," Thor adds. "Not even I'm quick enough to make it to both," Pietro says. "Nat, Wanda, and I can go," you interrupt. All the guys look at you. "L/N, this a team mission," Fury states. "It's not just for three girls." "We can assemble our own team," Nat cuts in. "We've got some players." Steve clears his throat. "It's not a bad idea." "It's not enough muscle," Tony comments, rolling his eyes. You stand up walk towards him until you're face to face. "First of all, it's not even that kind of mission. It's at a classy party, not some abandoned wasteland. Secondly, we don't need a metal suit to have muscle. Unlike you." The room goes silent. You and Tony stay in that position, sending each other death stares. Fury breaks the silence. "Alright. Assemble your own team. This is your mission, girls. Call if you need backup." "That won't be necessary," you say as you walk to the door, Wanda and Nat behind you. "But thanks." ----------------------------------- "Hurry up, ladies! The cars are here!" You and the other girls could hear Tony shouting from the other room. All of you were leaving the compound at the same time, since the guys wanted to see who you assembled for your team. "We'll be right there!", you shout back, putting on your second earring. Your team was putting some finishing touches to their outfits. You all wore different-colored dresses that you bought the day before. Natasha wore black, Pepper wore silver, Jane wore purple, Laura chose emerald, Wanda chose red, Sharon decided on pink, Maria picked midnight blue, and you went with gold. Your goal was to recruit some of the strongest girls you knew, and some of those girls just so happened to be dating your fellow Avengers. "Alright, ladies," you say with a smirk. "Now, let's get in formation." Laughing, the eight of you grab your clutches and walked out to meet the guys, who were in full gear. When they saw your team, their jaws dropped. "Holy shit," Steve whispered. "Enchanting," Thor muttered. "DAYUM," Clint shouted. All the girls looked at him and laughed. Sharon stepped forward. "What's wrong, Rogers? Cat got your tongue?" "Jane, you look beautiful," Thor says, trying to regain his composure. "Thanks," she whispered, trying not to blush. "So you essentially recruited our girlfriends?", Tony questions. "Well, Maria's single, so, I didn't just recruit girlfriends," you answer. "I recruited the strongest women I knew." "Be careful," Steve says. "And you guys got this." "You too," you respond with a soft smile. "We have to go," Maria informs you all. "The party should be in full swing by now." You girls say your goodbyes and pile into the cars outside. You, Nat, Jane, and Pepper get into one car while Wanda, Laura, Maria, and Sharon get into the other. "What's the host's name?", Sharon asks. "Alexander Washington the third," you answer. "Ugh, he even sounds douchey," Pepper comments. "What's the plan?" "I'll be the one to distract him while the rest of you search the place. Try to mingle as much as you can. Don't put any attention on yourself. When you find the drive, tell the rest of us on comms." The girls nod. "Got it," Nat says as the car stops at the place. "It's nice," Pepper mutters. "Too flashy." "How is anything too flashy when you're dating Tony Stark?", Jane jokes. Pepper laughs. "True!" You and the girls get out of the cars and walk into the mansion. The party was in full swing. Everyone was dressed fancy, champagne glasses were everywhere, and you could even feel how stuffy the place was. You spot Alexander right away. "There he is," you whisper to the girls. "Split up, find the drive." They nod and go in different directions. You fix your hair and walk over to Alexander, who was sitting at the bar. "I'll have a champagne, please," you say to the bartender, arching your back to get Alexander's attention. The bartender gives you your drink and you shoot him a dazzling smile. "Thanks, doll." "What's a gorgeous girl like you doing at a bar by yourself?" You turn to see Alexander gazing over your body, licking his lips. Creep, you thought. You take a sip of your drink and inch closer to him. "Fella done me wrong. What's a guy like you doing at a bar with no arm candy?" He winks. "Waiting for you." You smile and sit in the seat right next to him. "I'm Victoria," you say, quickly thinking of a fake name. "Victoria Rose." "Ah, Rose. Roses are beautiful flowers, much like yourself." "We also have thorns," you say with a wink. He gives you a sly smile. "I can't wait to see them." That wasn't even smooth, you thought, plastering a smile on your face. "I'm Alexander," he continues. "Alexander Washington the third." "The host of this party." "Exactly. So, Miss Rose, care to keep me company for the rest of the night?" "I would love nothing more." A few drinks later, Alexander is drunk as hell while you're stone sober from pouring out every shot he ordered you. "Wanna take this somewhere else?", he slurs. "Let's go," you whisper. You hear the girls over comms immediately. "Don't go in the kitchen," Nat says. "That's where Laura and I are!" "Don't go in his bedroom," Pepper adds. "I'm searching in there." "Don't go in the upstairs bathroom," whispers Jane. "Or the downstairs one," Wanda adds. "Or the screening room," Maria adds as well. "Or the gaming room," Sharon says last. You guide Alexander to one of the spare bedrooms and shut the door behind you. "Let me go get ready," you purr. He nods and sits on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt. You walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind you. "This asshole," you mutter, rummaging through your clutch. Finally, you pull out what you've been looking for: your lipstick. You swipe it on your lips and throw it back in your clutch. "Sweet dreams, sucker," you whisper. You walk back out and see Alexander in nothing but underwear on the bed. "You work fast," you comment, batting your eyelashes. He gets up and walks towards you. "Only for you, Miss Rose." He grabs you and crashes your lips to his. You can taste the alcohol on his lips. After a moment, he drops to the ground. The lipstick you wore was called "Sweet Dreams". It was given to you by Peggy Carter. It could knock out anyone with just a kiss. You wipe your lips as Sharon comes up on comms. "I got the drive! It was hidden INSIDE the pool table!" "Smarter than just taping it underneath the table," Nat comments. "Where are you now?" "Heading back to the party. Y/N, you done with Alex?" "He's out like a light," you respond. "Everyone head back. I don't see why this mission took an entire tea-" The door to the bedroom bursts open and two guards rush in. They take one look at Alex on the floor and aim their guns at you. "Never mind," you finish. "I'm compromised." "How many?", Laura asks. "Just two." "Give'em hell, honeybelle." You smile sweetly and saunter over to one of them. "Had a little mishap," you say simply. They look at each other, unconvinced. At that moment, you hike up your dress and kick the gun out of the guard's hand. Then you duck down as the other one shoots at you, missing completely. That's when you kick his legs out from under the guard in front of you and catch the gun as you stand back up. He falls and lands on the other guard. You knock them both out cold before they could get up. With the gun in your hand, you run out of the room. Jane comes up on comms. "Y/N, you good?" "I'm fine," you respond. "Any trouble for you guys?" You hear a series of grunts and kicks over comms. "Well, that answers my question." You walk out of the room. "Everyone meet back at the party. Laura, stay safe. Lila would kill me if you miss tea time." She laughs. "I know, she's a feisty one. I just knocked out a guard. Heading to the party now." You race down the hallway and end up in the middle of the crowd. You spot the other girls come toward you. "They know we're here," Nat whispers. "Sharon, the drive?" She pats her clutch. "Right here." "Good, now let's get the hell out of this place," Pepper says. "Agreed," Maria adds. You girls are five feet away from the door when two more guards block your exit. You whip around to find all the party-goers rushing out of the building. You all run to the center and are soon surrounded by guards. "Where you going, ladies?", one of them says. "You'll miss the party," another adds. Alex walks through the circle of guards, rubbing his head. "Hand over the drive, Vicky. Or should I say Y/N, member of the Avengers?" "Fuuuuck," you whisper. You clear your throat. "What drive, honey bunny?" "The one you stole, you bitch." You smirk. "I've been called worse, dumbass." "Okay, then." He grabs a gun from his jacket and points it at you. The other guards take out their guns as well and point it at your girls. "This is getting out of hand," you say with your hands up. "Hand it over," Alex responds. "Um, about that... WANDA NOW." With a flick of her wrist, Wanda makes all the guns fly out of everyone's hand. The guards look back to you all incredulously. "Alright ladies," you utter with a smile. "Now, let's get in formation." ----------------------------------- "Did you hear him cry?" "I started laughing!" "Weakest Hydra agent EVER." "And everyone thought he was some force to be reckoned with!" "Had to send in an entire team just to deal with someone who has less strength than Kermit the Frog!" The morning after the mission, you and the girls were gathered in the kitchen, reiterating the night's events. After the guards lost their guns, your squad kicked their asses. Alex turned out to be a big phony with a bank account to keep him safe. The "dangerous drive" everyone was so afraid of was just records of every crime he committed, including fraud, embezzlement, and affiliation with Hydra. He was knocked out with a single punch. You take another sip of your coffee. "That mission went well, ladies. I'm proud." "We should do this more often," Pepper suggests. "We make a pretty good team." "Fury happens to be very pleased with how we work," Maria points out. Sharon, Natasha, Wanda, Jane, and Laura agree. "Let's do it." "I'm in." "Not like the Avengers, though," Sharon adds. You shake your head. "No, Nat, Wanda, and I are still staying as Avengers. But when S.H.I.E.L.D. needs us-" "We'll be there," Natasha finishes. "Like a team of operatives." "Laura, do you want to do this?", you ask. "I mean, you have a family." "I'll be there whenever I can," she responds. "It'll be like a part-time thing." You smile. "Okay then. Hands in!" You all form a circle put your hands in the middle. "Squad on three?", Jane suggests. You all nod. "One." "Two." "Thr-" "I WANNA JOIN IN ON THE HUDDLE." Tony's voice booms as he walks into the kitchen, the rest of the team following. They all rush over to the circle and put their hands in. "How's the mission go?", Steve asks. "It went good," you respond. "How did yours go?" "Could've gone better. It was late, there was a lot of them, and I missed my girl." He kisses Sharon as soon as he says this. "Yea, I would've chosen a lavish party over some abandoned base," Tony adds. Pepper elbows him in the ribs and whispers something in his ear. "Ow! Okay, Okay! Y/N, I'm sorry for doubting you. Fury filled me in on how the mission went. You girls did good." "It's cool, Ton. But I wouldn't underestimate us next time." He chuckles. "Believe me, I won't. Now, AVENGERS ASSEMBLE ON THREE." "ONE." "TWO." "THREE." "AVENGERS A-"
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