he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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hate that I have to clarify whenever I think of two characters as having a powerful and purely platonic bond as "just friends". like I have to say that but they are not "just" anything.
did you hear me. I said they are friends. not brothers or siblings or maternal or paternal or any other familially-defined relationship. they are friends!!! do you know how powerful that is??? they! are! friends!!! they are FRIENDS
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does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.
do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.
i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.
sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.
if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?
i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.
life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?
i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.
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it's funny that narcissism is called abusive like, yeah i have awful traits, but i try very hard to offset them and not be shitty??? and i'm certainly not the only one who can do that
like yes i love talking about myself and hate listening to others and would rather just dominate the conversation with my own speech, but i will make an effort to ask questions and actively listen to the other person and refrain from steering the conversation back on myself to be respectful
yes i will exaggerate and borderline lie about every story and anecdote i tell to get the reaction i want (praise/sympathy) but i will also make an active effort to be honest and not intentionally lie everywhere else to offset this, because the exaggerations are ultimately harmless anyways
yes i lack affective empathy, but i can push myself to have cognitive empathy, i try to display sympathy and compassion to the best of my abilities
yes i'm only really willing to associate with people who meet my standards of special-ness, but i also won't be a rude pos to anyone who doesn't
I think i'm better than everyone but i rarely so much as mention that to people
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some more ghost rider sketches, version i guess i wanted to draw some bones,
including a partial prototype of whatever the hell the Rider has going on underneath his skin-suit (which might need more leather 'muscles' but. whatever), a theoretical endpoint of how dead Robbie could get in my verse, which. unlikely? extremely. but fun to draw, and a line-up of Robbie, Lisa, and Gabe
in theory, Lisa's sense of style was inspired by @wazzappp 's post of Claire's fashion Lisa, but, well, outfit design eludes me. so. brightly colored vague y2k vibes are. the best i got
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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Not too sure if you keep up with jp twst updates but have you seen the new Halloween update with the fox dude, Honest Fellow? (Yes that's his name, I'm just gonna call him honest John cause his name's an adjective). I am seriously loving how expressive he is, his devious expressions are so good
i am keeping very up to date with what y'all are doing over there and so far i've been delighted by the idea that, while half of the school's named population is experiencing a prolonged hatecrime in a french catholic school, the other half will be running away to nonconsensual join a circus led by a catboy and nick wilde's humansona. i don't know enough about him to have any major thoughts, but rollo was so fun and it seems like they'll be going just as hard for this event as they did for the glorious masquerade. any event with an ortho ssr is bound to slap and i have no reason to doubt that honest fellow (because i refuse to disrespect such a brave naming choice) will contribute to that.
i don't usually read translations for events but i think i might at least find a summary or something, this time. there's just something about a deceptively charming ringleader with a habit of luring people into his pocket-reality fantasy land that feels like it would go really well with what i do here.
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