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script-nef · 3 years

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So why won’t you realise it '^' | Gojou Satoru

Category: fluff

1.9k words; Movie date [2/6]

Spoilers of Howl’s Moving Castle!! Beware!!

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“Eh, Shouko! What do you mean you can’t make it?”

“I mean, another person is about to come in and they need me to heal them. By the time I’m done the movie will be finished.” Shouko’s voice over the phone is laced with annoyance and sadness coupled with lethargy. You don’t know how she pulls off such a unique combination of emotions but she somehow accomplishes it every time. “And I was looking forward to it…”

This would have been the first time you had a break with her since the trip to France. And while she enjoyed it a lot, the same couldn’t be said for the two males. Which was weird since Gojou is infatuated with sweets and Ken-chan agreed to come. So it was kind of weird when there was a tense atmosphere between them. You know your brother and Gojou are nearly polar opposites, but their animosity wasn’t usually that strong.

They brushed it off as nothing when you asked if something was wrong, which was sort of dubious since you could kind of see the black cloud looming over the both of them, but you let it go. If it was something important, they would be able to handle it themselves or report it to you. You couldn’t sense any cursed spirits nearby so you guessed that they were just in a bad mood for some reason.

Still, you had a wonderful time and found some new snacks that everyone enjoyed. So a day well spent, all in all.

And Ken-chan told you to tell him if Gojou ever offers overseas trips or anything similar, so he must have enjoyed it. Maybe you can ask Gojou to take all of you to Denmark one day.

“Ah… my dear Howl. Life and curses separate us again.” Her voice is full of sadness now, no doubt mourning over her chance of watching her favourite character on a huge screen with surround sound disappearing.

“It’s okay! I’ll bring you the figurine and we can watch it again here in about… uh…”

“Ten years?” She sounds like she’s about to drop dead.

“Uh… yes… But maybe five years? Hopefully? You know, I shouldn’t watch it without you. I’ll come back to school.”

“No, no. Watch the movie. At least you’ll get to see it. Ah, they’re coming now so I have to go.”

“Ah, okay. Bye, Shouko! Stay positive!”

A non-committal sigh accompanies a small “Bye” before the call clicks off. A frown takes over your face at the lost opportunity for her. She was looking forward to this for a long time and you leapt at the chance for another girls’ day out. Being able to watch a childhood favourite is an added bonus. But now you’re standing in the movie theatre, the ticket desk just across the room and an extra on your hand.

It’s a shame because it cost quite a lot. Shouko is definitely going to mope about this when you get back and maybe start smoking again. She always has a pack on her even if she said she quit, and smokes one if she’s stressed or angry. You should call someone and make sure somebody takes it away from her.

You should probably hold onto the ticket and give it back. Or maybe that would make it worse for her, serving as a reminder of this day. Conflict rages inside your head. There’s a high possibility of either decision breaking her heart. Again. A buzz from your phone saves you the trouble of deciding.

Shouko: I sent someone as my replacement.

A tap on the shoulder makes you turn as you type in a reply and you come face to face with a black jacket. Gojou’s head pops down.

“Hey there. I think you called for a replacement!” He seems to be in a ridiculously good mood, even more so than usual. Maybe his students successfully finished another mission. Which is great. It also means more paperwork for you. Which is not so great.

“How did you com—ah. Teleportation.”

“Ding ding ding! Correct!” He's been using the skill more frequently lately, popping in and out of places like one of those Whac-A-Mole games. . It gives you heart attacks all the time and you’re sure he gets a kick out of it. You saw how his smiles widen when you flinch or react. Thankfully it’s when you’re alone so other people never see you jump what feels like a metre into the air.

“Do you want popcorn?” He breaks you out of your thoughts. “I think they have the new caramel flavour. Apparently it’s way too sweet.” So perfect for Gojou. Even though he’s asking if you want it, there’s a spring in his step which definitely means he’s getting some. Probably the biggest option they have.

And you’re proven right because he comes back with two huge buckets which look impossible to finish. When you try to object, he cuts off with “I’ve eaten three buckets before. Alone.” With the smile he’s giving you, it really doesn’t sound like he’s joking. You try to take one to lighten the load but he says it’s alright.

He signals the way to the theatre rooms with his head, walking beside you as you find your way.

“So what’s the movie?” Your head snaps to him in confusion.

“You don’t know?” A shake and a shrug. “It’s Howl’s Moving Castle. This was Shouko’s idea since she loves it and this year is Studio Ghibli’s 40 year anniversary. The cinema is having an exclusive showing of their movies this month. Only one session per movie, for some reason. Surely they would make more money if they played it over multiple days, but. I dunno. Executives make weird decisions.” A light scoff from him to tell he knows exactly what that’s like. His hatred for the higher-ups runs deep. You don’t push it.

“So she wanted to come but got held back at the last minute?”

“Yeah. Ah, here are our seats.”

You’re placed in the very middle of the room and you both make yourselves comfortable. Shouko went all out for this movie, upgrading the seats and making it a recliner. Your poor back, abused after sitting in chairs and hunched over computers for so long, practically melts into the plush cushion. It’s so comfortable that you might fall asleep in it if it isn’t Howl that’s about to start.

Feet dangling in the air, you look over to Gojou to see him on his phone. It looks like he’s in a chatroom and you catch the words ‘Shouko’ and ‘favour’ before looking away. You didn’t mean to peek, but it’s not like you can consciously not read something. It was in your line of sight and you averted your eyes as soon as you realised what you were reading. Your brother brought you up better than to pry into other people’s businesses, even if it’s really, really tempting.

“Phones need to be placed on silent, you know.” The ads are coming on the screen. He smiles at you, slipping it into his pocket.

“Just talking to Shouko. She says she hasn’t even started properly.”

Disappointment fills you. Gojou is a good friend to watch this with but you hoped Shouko would somehow miraculously finish in time. She would be devastated.

“I’ll have to make this up to her when we get back. Give her the figurine and keep her hap—ah! I forgot! Gojou, I was supposed to ask someone to take her ciga—” He cuts you off with a light pat on your hand.

“Don’t worry, I did it already. All of them are safe out of her reach and I gave her packets of hot chocolate instead. When we get back, she’ll have drunk at least half of them and be in a good mood.” What a Gojou-like replacement. He smiles like a child wanting pats on the head for a job well done. You just barely catch yourself from moving.

Gojou gets a rep for being aloof and neglectful, but he does take care of the people he holds dear to him. His friends, members of the school, his students. You hope you’re included in the list.

Actually, the more you think about it, the more you realise he’s different from initial perceptions. You learn more and more about him as time goes on, in the most delightful sense. He’s somewhat like an onion, new characteristics being revealed every time a layer is peeled. A snicker escapes at the thought of Gojou dressed up like an onion, just waddling around. He shoots you a questioning head tilt which you wave off.

In the years that you’ve known him, he made himself into a trustworthy friend. One full of laughs and ridiculousness. Maybe it’s his childishness that puts you at ease, but he’s incredibly comfortable and easy to relax around. Thoughts trail and the words fly out of your mouth before you even think.

“You know, I think you would make a wonderful boyfriend.”

He freezes completely, like somebody’s zapped him in place. You stare at him, wondering what’s wrong, but the lights dim and by the time he gathers coherence, your concentration is on the opening sequence.

“Ah, that was so good! Ugh, I love Howl. Isn’t he so cool?” You skip out of the room, remembering to take the figurines provided at the exit, with Gojou trailing behind you. “You know how she asks him to wait for her in the past? The first thing he says to her in the movie is ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ He searched for her the entire time! This is modern poetry. This.”

“Do you think Howl would be a good boyfriend?” The question stops you. It’s different than usual for some reason, the voice asking the question and the intensity of it. He’s still his aloof self, all smiles and grins, but there’s something you can’t quite place that’s wrong. It’s unnerving, but you diligently answer his question.

“Um, I mean, yeah? Look at how cute he is with Sophie. See?” The figurine is a frozen shot of Howl and Sophie dancing in the rain with an umbrella that’s not being useful at all. They’re both incredibly detailed, so much so that you can see their clothes and skin drenching wet. Wow, this is actually a phenomenal job. Shouko will be so happy. It makes your heart lighter knowing that at least something might light up her day.

“Why is he cool?” Gojou seems to be invested in Howl. It confuses you since he just watched the movie with you and he saw how awesome Howl is.

“Hm, well for one he can do magic.” He opens his mouth but you shush him with a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I know, what we have is kind of like magic too. But theirs is just… different. He just makes it seem kind of elegant. And he overcame his fear just for Sophie. Remember the scene with Sulliman and in the cluttered bedroom? He still found the strength to protect her even though he was so scared before. It’s admirable. I guess I like strong guys.”

“Hmm~” His tone is contemplative. “You know I’m stronger than him, right?”

A question mark forms over your head. He’s being really weird today. “Yeah? You’re the strongest in the universe, silly. What’s up with you?” Gojou just chuckles and ruffles your head.

“Nothing, nothing. Just making sure you know.” He slings his arm around your shoulder, the intensity gone and the light spring in his step back. “Who else do you think is strong?”

Next chapter →

#gojou x reader #gojou imagine #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru imagine #gojo x reader #gojo imagine #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru imagine #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojou #gojou satoru #fluff #series #female reader

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2manyfandoms2count · 3 years

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Love you (not) - Chapter 2

Cheating a little today because I couldn't think of a way to fit a Ghibli AU in the fic. Anyway, thanks to @marichatmay for finally making me watch some Ghibli classics, aka Kiki's delivery service and Howl's Moving Castle. They'd been on my watchlist for far too long!

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Previous | AO3 | Next

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Chapter 2: In which Chat Noir and Marinette struggle to hold a conversation without flirting

Chat Noir doubted that he’d ever laughed as much as he’d laughed during his lunch at the Dupain-Chengs. Marinette’s parents had just been so warm and welcoming, that he’d started to wonder if the relationship Marinette and her parents had was extraordinary, or if his vision was simply skewered by his father’s absence. He’d come to the conclusion that it was probably a bit of both; he remembered having fun with his mother as well, but there was something truly special about the way Marinette relaxed in this environment.

He doubted that he’d ever seen her so carefree (between bouts of almost fake embarrassment when Tom’s jokes got too bad for her taste; she kind of shared Ladybug’s facial expression when it came to those) in the relatively short time they’d known each other. He really appreciated her letting him see this part of her, and letting him into her family and her happiness.

This was why, after lunch was over and he really should have been heading home to study up on his Chinese, he’d accepted Marinette’s suggestion to stay a little longer, given the rain that was still pouring outside. There was just something about the prospect of spending more time with Marinette that warmed his heart; and, thinking about it, what harm could a couple more hours do? They’d hang out a bit, Marinette would probably realise that she’d been in love with an image more than with him all this time, and they would part ways as friends at the end of the day. Easy.

Alas, the plan had started to crumble the moment they’d decided to watch a movie together. Tom and Sabine had gone to take a nap after the copious meal (Tom really had gone all out on the courses), and he and Marinette had been left awkwardly standing around, twiddling their thumbs as they tried to figure out what to do.

Chat had spotted Marinette’s Howl’s moving castle DVD under the TV stand as his gaze wandered around the room, and he’d commented that it had been a while since he’d watched it. Marinette had jumped on the occasion, relieved that an idea had been handed to her.

She’d set up the movie and then had sat on one end of the couch, while Chat Noir sat on the other. So far, so good.

Things had started getting difficult when Sophie had entered Howl’s castle, and Marinette, whether by empathy or pure coincidence, had felt a draft and had moved to the angle of the couch - closer to him, although they were still far enough apart that he couldn’t consider it making a move - to escape it.

When that didn’t work to make her feel warmer, she’d whipped a blanket out of seemingly thin air and wrapped herself comfortably in it.

By that point, despite his supposedly thermal suit, Chat Noir had also started feeling cold, and had scooted a little closer so he could slide his feet under a corner of the blanket that wasn’t tucked under his friend. Marinette had then spotted his apparent discomfort, and before he knew it, he was buried under the blanket with her, and although there was still space between them, their shoulders definitely knocked against each other if they moved a bit.

The movie had been captivating enough that neither of them had focused too much on that fact while they watched the plot unfold, but Marinette was suddenly very aware of their situation when the credits started rolling. She wasn’t sure how to get out of it without her partner feeling pushed away, but supposed that sparking a conversation would probably help.

“So…” She turned towards him, stretching a little as she did so and seizing the opportunity to move a little further away from him. "Have you seen many Ghibli movies?" She cringed slightly at the question. Her social skills really seemed to have taken the day off.

"Yep," Chat said with a proud smile. "In fact, I think I've seen them all!"

"Oh, neat!" Marinette smiled, trying to find a good follow-up question. “Erm... so, who do you think you’d be in the Ghibli universe, then?”

He paused to think about it, a pensive pout on his lips, adjusting the blanket around him to close the gap her movement had allowed to form as he did. “That’s a very good question, to which I don’t have an answer.” He shrugged. Suddenly, all the characters he'd ever related to seemed to have evaded him; one character stood out as he looked at Marinette, though, and he supposed it was good enough to keep the conversation going. “You, on the other hand, would totally be Kiki.”

Marinette crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. “That’s just because I’m small, I have black hair, and I hang out with a talking cat.”

“You wound me, Purr-incess. Those are very superficial arguments.” Chat’s hand flew briefly to his chest, before he realised she wouldn’t see it under the blanket. “Those are some good points, but I actually thought that because you live above a bakery and you sometimes work there, you’re kind of clumsy... In a cute way, don’t worry!” He added quickly when he saw her roll her eyes, before widening his own as he realised what he’d just said. He felt his cheeks warm up under his mask. Marinette looked away, pink dusting her cheeks. So much for keeping things entirely platonic. This wasn’t sending the right message at all. “...And you’re always willing to help people, generally with pretty original plans.” He concluded after clearing his throat.

Marinette and Kiki also shared strong first opinions, he didn’t add. He hadn’t been scorned as long as Tombo had in the movie, granted, but he felt a certain connection to the boy nonetheless, probably because they both also shared a liking for clowning around. He couldn’t say anything about it without revealing too much, though; and he wasn’t sure that comparing himself to a character who had a crush on the character he was comparing her to would be a very good idea.

“So actually, I guess I would be Jiji, then. After all, as you said, I am a talking black cat.”

“You’re a little more than that, though.” Marinette snorted. “I actually think you’d make a fine Howl; you have this protector instinct, even though you seem to like putting yourself in danger - don’t think I don’t read the Ladyblog.” She shot him a pointed look. “But you’re also just both kind and generous, you know?And you obviously have a penchant for justice.”

Chat Noir felt his heart flutter in his chest at the compliments. Marinette really was too nice.

“Also, I guess you do look like him. If you let your hair grow, you really could pull off his cosplay.” She looked at him, head tilted as she started imagining what kind of outfit she could make for him.

“Is that you saying I’m handsome?” Chat waggled his eyebrows, before freezing. He needed to stop sounding this flirty with Marinette. It would just feed her hope, and that simply couldn’t do. He needed to make it clear to her that she was just a friend.

“I mean… it’s not like you’re unpleasant to look at…” Marinette trailed off, before realising what she’d said. She cleared her throat. “But whatever, will you just stop hogging the blanket?” She pulled on her side of it, hoping she could cover her blush with it somehow.

“I’m not! It’s just too small for us both!” Chat tucked his side under him so she wouldn’t take it.

“Fine then, I’ll just have to move closer to you,” Marinette said, looking him straight in the eye.

“Fine by me,” Chat Noir said in spite of himself, part of him screaming that it would have been the perfect excuse to say something about not liking her that way, or even to leave.

“Fine.” Marinette scooted as close to him as possible. Their bodies touched from the shoulder to their feet. What am I doing? She thought as she registered that fact. This is not how I'd seen the day going at all. “Erm… Want to watch something else on Netflix?” She added, thinking it could only make things less weird.

“Sounds good to me!” Chat gulped next to her. He told himself he'd stay a little more to defuse the slight awkwardness, but promised himself to tell her how he felt before crossing her door to go home. “Maybe we could watch Kiki’s delivery service , since we were talking about it?”

“Sure.”

The pair only got through part of the movie; Tom and Sabine emerged from their room for tea before they’d even reached the halfway mark, and as much as Chat Noir was tempted to stay for the macarons, the excuse to get back was just too good. It would probably be a miracle if Nathalie hadn't already come up to his room to check on him, and if she hadn't he was probably due a visit at any moment. Sabine insisted that he took some leftovers back with him, and he was so touched by the attention that the one thing he’d promised himself he’d do slipped his mind.

He was halfway home when he realised it; he'd been so preoccupied by thanking her parents and her, that he'd forgotten to talk to Marinette one last time, to tell her not to get her hopes up.

Guess I'll have to go back sometime next week, then, he sighed as he popped a macaron into his mouth. Oh, well.

#in retrospect i could have made marinette compare herself to sophie for the crush parallel #oh well #marichat may #marichat may 2021 #miraculous ladybug #the miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #ml #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #marichat #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #day 2: ghibli au #elle writes #love you (not)

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novellaquill · 3 years

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Howl’s Moving Castle Theory

If you haven’t watched Howl’s Moving Castle don’t read this contains spoilers.

Okay so Howl’s Moving Castle has a lot of themes, courage, how war can be problematic, greed, vanity/insecurity. One of the main ways it’s shown is through Sophie. In the movie Sophie is turned into an old lady by the Witch of the Wastes and changes back and forth between her younger and older self. Sophie doesn’t like how she looks, tends to stay behind when friends go out and finds herself to be plain. When she’s turn old she says, “at least your clothes match” referring herself and how she dresses and later on, “I’ve never been beautiful in my entire life.” So it’s safe to say beauty/beauty standards is a theme in the movie but I’m not here to talk about Sophie. No, let’s talk about Howl and his mental health!

When we first see Howl’s he blonde, blue eyed with a loud blue and pink diamond patterned coat to match. It shouldn’t work but it does. We learn that he spends hours in bath pampering himself with potions to look how he is. At first I thought he was vain, which he is to an extent. He says, “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful.” At first I laughed it off as many others did, because he was throwing a tantrum but looking back this is concerning. Now, I’m not a therapist or a psychiatrist but to me it seems like Howl is anorexic. You can draw context by looking around the castle but most of it comes from Markel.

The definition of Anorexia by the Oxfords Dictionary is:

lack or loss of appetite for food (as a medical condition).

an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat.

There’s a lot of food in the castle of you look closely you can see the potatoes growing.

So that means that it spoils. You argue it’s because Calcifer only listens to master Howl but that’s only partially true. As Markel say he doesn’t remember the last time they had a real breakfast. (Which is messed up for Markel.) It seems that when Howl probably doesn’t cook full meals often whether because he’s not home or for some other reason. He might make mini meals which are basically snacks to hold himself over. But even when he did make a full meal he didn’t eat it. He took a sip of tea and the gave his food to Calcifer.

Look:

LOOK!!

He didn’t even take a bite!! Another piece of evidence is when Sophie and Markel are going into town to buy food. Markel states he doesn’t know why she’s doing this as Howl rarely eats anyway. So this is another conformation that Howl isn’t eating like he’s supposed to and since Markel doesn’t have a problem with it, it’s a normal occurrence. Most kids who don’t know what Anorexia is still might find it odd that someone isn’t eating before ignoring it. Hell, most adults will too but Markel is with him, I’m going to assume a long time. Because if a kid starts living with an adult they’re going to question things and Howl probably had made it seem like it’s not a big deal.

When Howl throws a tantrum running down the stairs you can briefly see his ribs.

That’s something the happens with people who don’t have a lot of meat on their bones. (Myself included and I hate it.)

Let’s compare him to the Witch of the Wastes. Who’s a big lady and only shrunk after her magic was taken away. She’s holding herself together and she looks odd. Even then she’s not skinny, she’s not fat but not skinny. She has her henchmen carry her around and has trouble walking for long periods or up stairs.

This shows to me that magic can alter appearance but can’t change it completely and still relies on the original form of the person. I’m going to assume that’s the reason why Howl doesn’t eat. His magic magic may smooth things out or change the color but that all it can do in his case or all he wants to do because it’s safe. If his body is thin then his magic can smooth out and tweak the other imperfections and he had to be careful or else he’s just like the Witch of the Wastes.

Finally let’s show some symptoms of Anorexia that we’ve seen in Howl:

Feeling Cold/Sensitivity to cold

Social Isolation

Anxiety

Apprehension

Depression

Thinness

Fatigue

We’ve seen this in Howl throughout the film. I don’t have Anorexia but I have a hyper metabolism and I actually have a really hard time maintaining a healthy weight. I also have ADHD and ADD, on or off my meds for this, I can get wrapped up in my work and end up skipping meals and than by the time it’s dinner, not eat a lot. Those symptoms are something I’ve personally experienced from not eating just by itself or not eating and being on medication. Magic requires energy and has side effects so it’s like medication. You should not do/be on either without eating or getting proper rest!

Watching Howl’s Moving Castle in recent years reminds me of someone close to me. As she’s more developed than I am, I’ve always said I wished I had her body not knowing or recognizing how much her insecurity of being too big affected her. Not until I caught her skipping lunch, getting small portions of food at breakfast, and throwing away dinner. She was able to get help and is much better now but signs between her and Howl are there. You don’t see Anorexia in guys in media or at least it’s not shown enough for me to know. Eating disorders are mostly shown in women and when you see guys it mostly them trying to gain muscles or using steroids. The signs of Anorexia are subtle but it’s there. Anorexia itself can be subtle. Again this is just a theory as I am NOT a therapist or psychologist!! If anyone is struggling with this I recommend and beg you to get help!! This can kill you and you’re too wonderful to go!!

National Eating Disorders Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237

This helpline offers support Monday–Thursday from 9 a.m.–9 p.m. EST, and Friday from 9 a.m.–5 p.m. EST. You can expect to receive support, information, referrals, and guidance about treatment options for either you or your loved one. You can also contact this helpline through its online chat function, available on its website. Additionally, there is an option to send a text message if you are in crisis by texting NEDA to 741741; a trained volunteer from the Crisis Text Line will get in touch with you.

Hopeline Network: 1-800-442-4673

This is a hotline dedicated to serving anyone in crisis. Sometimes, people with eating disorders might feel so full of shame or self-hatred that they contemplate hurting themselves. If this is true for you, this hotline offers nationwide assistance and support from volunteers specifically trained in crisis intervention. You can talk to someone day or night about anything that’s troubling you, even if it’s not related to an eating disorder. You can also call if you need referrals to eating disorder treatment centers.

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders: 1-630-577-1330

Currently serving people in the United States, the hotline operates Monday–Friday from 9 a.m.–5 p.m. CST, with plans for a 24/7 hotline coming soon. Trained hotline volunteers offer encouragement to those having problems around eating or binging, support for those who “need help getting through a meal,” and assistance to family members who have concerns that their loved one might have an eating disorder.

Overeaters Anonymous: 1-505-891-2664

This hotline is available to people worldwide who need a referral to an Overeaters Anonymous support meeting in their area. Contrary to popular belief, Overeaters Anonymous is not just for people who are concerned about eating too much; it is also intended for those who have anorexia, bulimia, food addiction, or any other type of eating disorder. If you are reluctant to attend an in-person meeting or are not geographically near one, its website offers you the option to participate in an online- or telephone-based support group.

Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association (formerly the Massachusetts Eating Disorder Association): 1-617-558-1881

This organization offers education, information, referrals to clinicians who specialize in eating disorders, support groups, and additional services for people with eating disorders in the New England area. It also offers information about nationwide treatment centers and is available between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. EST, Monday–Friday.

The United Way’s 211.org: Call 2-1-1

The hotline is intended for anyone living in North America who has any type of crisis or who needs help locating specific resources, including information and referrals for eating disorder treatment. Available 24/7, it can offer information and referrals to treatment organizations in your area.

Crisis Textline: Text CONNECT to 741741

Available 24/7, 365 days a year, this organization helps people with eating disorders and other mental health issues by connecting callers with trained crisis volunteers who will provide confidential advice, support, and referrals if needed.

Got the helplines from here

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allthecolorsofourlove · 2 years

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crawling up to you feathered, ashamed —

overrun with a sickness. i’ll drop the

other shoe and make us a pair, drop the act [if i want my performance to end i

have to close the curtain]:

i don’t understand. i don’t. i’m scared by how much you love me and

not in a way that means you need to stop, but i have this imposter syndrome here

like when my words fail me or the cookies come out wrong,

you like all of this? that scares me,

the unknown is terrifying because i don’t understand how you

like all of this?

i write to you about the best friend who i kissed, the one i

fell for without noticing and you shrug and look at me and go;

“okay, cool, when are you coming home?”, and that

scares me. scares me in the way that i almost want to cry writing this, looping a song,

i want it to be different this time,

and it finally is, but it’s making me want to run, like this is too good to be true,

like i should break something before it has a chance to be broken — pour

salt in the wound before i forget and it becomes a surprise,

[HOWL: I am such a big coward, all I do is hide. And all of this magic is just to keep everybody away. I can’t stand how scared I am.]

like these violent delights will have violent ends, even though i

know that isn’t true, because no matter

where we end up we still want matching New York ink in our skin

[and more importantly, because i

count down the days like a dog at the door and fall asleep

picturing your face across from mine,]

you said it first — everyone needs reassurance and this is mine;

[SOPHIE: It’s… you’re scaring me. I have this weird feeling you’re going to leave.]

i’m worried that i’ll

forever believe this is a fantasy or something just out of reach, like

being this kind of happy isn’t something that happens to tigers like me,

like instead i should

waste time reaching after unattainables forevermore, nothing i’ll ever have to

kill, just something to toy with in the brush, the

illusion of something potent —

but when the hunter finally catches a hare, what is he supposed to do with it?

when i blink, you’re almost something that doesn’t exist and i

don’t know where to put my hands.

you’re telling me i deserve this and i know in the morning you’ll catch me

but the fear is how you manage to always do that — i think the fear is that

one day you’ll stop

and i won’t know what to do then

[HOWL: I feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest.

SOPHIE: A heart's a heavy burden.]

the fear is that this fear will swallow me whole, or crush me beneath the weight of

an unjustified burden — the fear of being

mauled by a bear with no teeth.

[SOPHIE: Howl! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you wait this long.]

#bad bad bad #i know I am being stupid #and I know I’m being hypocritical and I should just talk to you about this #but I can’t phrase this outside of poetry I’m sorry #this is all stupid #i am not used to unconditionality in this form #i fuck it up by this point and also i generally view myself as unpleasant in many ways so it just. Hits dude #it’s not even like i doubt that you care or want you to stop caring or don’t care #cus trust me I do #it’s that I just don’t know what to do with it. like I’m genuinely starting to believe I don’t know how to be loved LMAOOOOO #anyways sorry to have you wake up to a bummer I’m just having a bad time #I’ll write you something sweet after English:)#sleep well good night #poetry #poet #poem #poems #writing #creative writing #the herb garden

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lauwrite1225 · 3 years

Text

Somebody to die for.

Finan x OC; The Old Guard inspired Alternative Universe

Summary : Victoria’s life is rather simple until she has a car accident from which she ends up miraculously unscathed. A series of weird events animates her daily life, everything seemingly bringing her to a strange man. Until this very man knocks at her door.

Spotify Playlist • Masterlist

A/N : On ao3 I've got a comment telling me the slow burn was killing them, well... I hope this is killing yall too lmaooo

Warnings : fluff ;)

Chapter 8 : And I'm ready to suffer, and I'm ready to hope

Victoria has never found a more peaceful place than Osferth’s house before, it’s so far from London’s constant noise. Here the night is silent, occasionally interrupted by sounds of animals, which she sometimes finds scary enough to wake up Finan who’s sleeping on the mattress next to her bed in the living room. He usually answers her what wild animal is howling, enhanced with Irish curses as he tries to fall back to sleep.

“Ya’re goin’ to know the sound of all the animals of this forest soon.” He comments one morning when she sits in front of him at the kitchen table.

She chuckles quite uncomfortably, guessing he’s starting to be annoyed of being woken up in the middle of the night. “I’m a city girl.” She shrugs innocently and Finan shakes his head.

Even if he’s grieving his friend’s loss, Finan keeps a rather good mood, which she supposes is due to Osferth. She regularly finds them laughing together, undoubtedly remembering old memories, which warms Victoria’s heart. She also gets to learn a lot about the monk who reveals to in fact be King Alfred the Great’s bastard son.

“So you’re royalty!” She exclaims, her fork falling back into her plate.

“Not really.” He answers, looking down as he is ashamed of who he is while Finan is chuckling at her shock.

“But, if you were a monk and a King’s son, how did you end up fighting for Uhtred?” She asked, the same curiosity she used to have for Finan growing for him.

“My uncle used to fight alongside Uhtred.” He explains, his forks forming circles in the air. “I wanted to become a warrior like him.”

“And let me tell ya, that was a hard row to hoe.” He jokes at Vicky’s attention, pointing at Osferth who’s now pouting. “I've never imagined t'was so hard to hold a sword.” He giggles before taking a mouth full of vegetables while the monk blushes. “But we finally succeeded to make a good warrior of him after all.”

This time, the two men look at each other with pride, a small knowing smile gracing their faces.

“I'd like to learn.” Vicky interrupts them suddenly.

“What? To use a sword?” Finan frowns at her. “It's a little useless nowadays.”

She rolls her eyes which only makes him smirk as he eats. “I'd like to learn whatever could help me to defend myself.” She explains with such determination that even Finan stops smirking to stare at her intently. “I don't want to be as useless as in London if something happens to us.”

She straightens her shoulder while holding Finan’s gaze, feeling the need to show him that she can be stronger than she looks. She thought of it a few times during the night, not dying is one thing but it still isn’t preventing her to be taken, Finan wouldn’t have been here that night, she’s sure she wouldn’t be standing here right now. And she even less wants to be a liability to the two men if anything has to happen.

She notices the flicker of hesitance on Finan’s face at the way the corner of his mouth tilts. “Please, Finan.” She insists and he finally sighs, lifting his head to the ceiling.

“Alright I’ll teach ya.” He accepts, starting to eat again and only staring at her broad smile from the corner of his eyes. “But don’t imagine I’ll be easy on ya.” He warns her but she’s too happy to take in the warning and doesn’t even notice Osferth’s grimace at it.

However, she soon learns that she should have taken it seriously. Vicky had a lot of sport teachers during school, more or less rigorous, but undoubtedly, none were matching Finan. He is very patient, able to show her movement a hundred times without getting annoyed, though, the lesson won’t end until she does it perfectly. He teaches her how to punch and kick correctly for a whole afternoon, her legs and arms aching at the end. She’s so exhausted that she doesn’t even wake up during the night because of animals and Finan is more than happy to finally have his sleep undisturbed.

The next morning, after her training, Sophie comes to Osferth's place and gives a worried look to Vicky as she finds her sprawled, arms crossed and forehead resting on it. “Are you alright?” She asks, putting her hand on her back and then grimacing when she realizes she’s all sweaty.

“Finan killed me.” She grumbles, her voice muffled by the caged formed by her arms. She finally straightens, stretching to try to make the discomfort of her painful muscles disappear. “I asked him to teach me how to fight, and I’m starting to regret it.”

Sophie laughs, sitting on the chair next to hers. “Osferth told me he was a ruthless teacher.” She explains to her and Vicky sighs in despair.

Since they are here, Sophie comes everyday, and even stays some nights, erasing any of Victoria’s doubts about their relationship. She doesn't know the French well, but she does appreciate her already, another woman's ear always likeable.

“I found something that could interest you.” Sophie says, taking her phone out of her pocket and opening an application before handing it to her.

Vicky grabs it carefully and lets out a short breath at the newspaper article she's showing her. She reads the text surrounding the picture of her explaining where the police stand regarding her disappearance. She can't tell if it relieves her or not that they are clueless about it. Which for sure disappoints her is that they are as clueledd as them when it comes to the men who attacked them. She doesn't raise her eyes when she hears the front door opening nor when footsteps approach. She only looks away when she feels Finan's breath near her ear making her shiver as he leans over her shoulder, his hands clenched around the chair's back.

“What's that?” He asks, meeting her eyes briefly before staring at the screen.

She swallows and hands him the phone so he can read. “A record on what happened in London.” She explains as he straightens. “They don't know more than us.”

“Good.” He says, scrolling down the article and when he looks up from the phone, he is facing Vicky’s confused frown.

“But we could have learned more about their intentions.”

Finan shakes his head, giving her phone back to Sophie. “And by this, they’d get interest in us and it is the last thin’ we need.”

Vicky leans back in her chair. “Alright, but how do we get to know who they are and what they really want? Even if we hide, we are exposed because we don’t know our enemies.” She voices a relevant fact that even Osferth agrees with as he walks into the room, stopping to rest a hand on Sophie’s shoulder. “We need to do research about them.”

“With what?” The Irishman huffs. “All we have is a piece of paper and a revolver.”

Feeling the tension rising between Victoria and Finan, the French clears her throat. “Maybe, there was something that could be…” She searches a word, gesturing in the void. “Particular. An accent maybe?”

“They didn’t talk a lot but they were sounding English.” She answers leaving Finan’s eyes to give all her attention to Sophie.

Finan does the same, crossing his arms. “They were fine trained men, if there’s more, it must be the case for them too.” He exchanges a serious gaze with Osferth, a silent conversation working between the two men. “We should arm ourselves, just in case.”

This time, it’s the two women who exchange an anxious glance. “I still have guns in the basement, a little old and in need of a good cleaning, but it’s better than nothing.”

On those words, the two old friends decide to spend the afternoon on restoring Osferth’s weapons. Victoria stares with wide eyes at the amount of them resting on the kitchen table, dusty revolvers and rifles. Sophie left earlier with a list of materiel to clean them and Victoria supposes they won’t have finished until nightfall at least. Her eyes instinctevely search for Finan, which she has realised doing more and more often, in the room and finally turns to the monk when she understands he isn’t here. He answers her that he is still in the basement, so she decides to join him, though she’s also curious to see what there is in it. She climbs down the ladder and jumps on the stoned floor. There isn’t much light, a simple old oil lamp allowing her to see Finan who’s staring intently at a sword he is holding. Vicky approaches him and can’t help but let out a sound of amazement as she admires the weapon, the flicker of the flame making the blade shine and a piece of amber ornamenting the hilt.

“It’s a beautiful sword.” She says looking up to the Irishman whose eyes are glittering under the light. “Finan?” She calls him softly, her hands finding his arm.

He blinks a few times and the tears have disappeared to let him smile. “It’s Uhtred’s sword, Serpent-Breath. I’ve never seen a better sword.” He explains with admiration.

He hands her the sword and she takes it carefully, surprised by the heaviness of it, wondering how it was possible to fight with this. But she must admit that it really is the result of a fine work, the blade, old and not as sharp as it must have been, but nonetheless impressive.

“You have a sword too?” She turns to him again.

“Aye, but I’ve lost it a long time ago.” He shrugs sadly.

She gives him back the weapon and lets him hang it on the wall. “What did you call it?”

He chuckles lightly before smiling broadly. “Soul-stealer.” He answers with a threatening tone but it only makes her raise her eyebrows as if she isn’t impressed at all.

“Terrifying.” She breaths, pretending to be scared.

“Ya know, men used to call me Finan the Agile because I was a really good swordsman.” He explains, heading back to the ladder.

“Oh? And what about women?” She asks him with a teasing tone that definitely should have been thought about twice. She can’t help the rise of blush to increase as he just winks at her with a mischievous smirk before climbing up.

She curses herself for the sudden warmth in her belly as she wonders what his gesture implied. She shakes her head to make it vanish. When Sophie is finally back, they start restoring the guns, Osferth showing her how to clean a barrel correctly. She can’t help but wonder how many people have been killed with this gun as she holds one. It seems so easy to pull the trigger, in a second one is ripped of its life. She thinks back to the fight in her flat, at how Finan cold bloodedly killed the three men. Will she become like this as well if she learns how to use one? The question remains stuck in her mind until the night when Finan asks her what is troubling her. They are just the two of them in the living room as he sits next to her on the bed to remove his shoes.

She shifts uncomfortably, twisting her fingers. “What do you feel when you kill someone?”

Finan freezes at her question, still bent to unlace his shoes. “I feel bad.” He answers finally as he straightens.

“Each time?” She asks him with an inch of surprise that makes her tone higher. “Even when they are bad people?”

“No, it's not like that.” He turns his head to her and even in the dark she is fascinated by the intensity of his gaze. “The first man I killed was a Dane. I was still in Ireland, hunting with my father. He came out of a bush and I acted without thinkin'.” He scratches his beard before his hand slides down to grip what she supposes is the pendant hanging at his necklace. “No matter how many times I've heard people call them heathens or demons, when I saw his frightened eyes as life was leaving his body, I realised he was just a man. And I wondered who I was to take a man's life so easily.” His grip tightens, fisting his shirt as he sighs.

His hand drops on his thigh and he is close enough so his elbow brushes slightly against her arm. He looks down as if he is suddenly ashamed or scared of what she'll think of him and it makes her heart squeeze. In a little time, they both have reached a level of confidence with each other that Victoria didn't expect. Despite his lie, she finds herself unable to judge him. And it reassures her to know that after all he isn’t as insensitive as she thought. Her hand slides on his forearm until it reaches his wrist, her fingers tracing the swollen skin of a scar slashing his palm. Their proximity makes her face warm and she's glad that the darkness can hide it, so she leans to the side until her head rests on his shoulder.

��Why did you ask?” He whispers, his breath brushing her forehead.

She feels her heartbeat getting stronger and faster as she thinks of the right words.”When you fought that night, you did it without any hesitation. You just acted when I just stayed away utterly afraid. Now that I don’t want to be so useless anymore, I wonder if I’ll be able to act like you did, without thinking.”

“Ya don’t have to be like me.” He replies immediately, making her look up to him. “In fact, I’d prefer that ya weren’t.” He admits.

“But one day I will. One day I’ll have lost all the people I care for and I’ll have suffered as much as you did.” She says and the way her heart aches at the simple idea makes her throat tighter.

Finan shifts to better face her, his hands cupping her face and his thumb caressing her cheek even if there’s no tears to wet them. His eyes are staring at her with such softness despite how deep and dark they are, she feels like she could melt now and then.

“I’ll keep ya away from that.”

Her heart misses a beat and her breath runs short. She can’t argue with him about the foolishness of such a promise, destabilized by how close his face is to hers, and because deep down she wishes he could be able to protect her from the pain. Him and no one else. His hot breath caresses her lips, making her whole body feel warm and for a brief second, she wonders how it would feel to have his mouth pressed against hers, how his beard would scratch her flushed skin.

But before she can have an answer Finan moves away, breathing heavily. “I think we should sleep.”

She barely has time to breathe a small ‘yes’ that he is lying in his own bed. She does the same, her hand pressed against her chest as her heart finds a steady rhythm again. She stares at the ceiling for long minutes, feeling suddenly so empty and cold.

Tag : @for-bebbanburg @osferth @maggiescarborough @finansarms @dumbledoreisnotmyhubby @solinarimoon

#the last kingdom #finan #finan the agile #tlk #fanfiction #finanxoc #somebody to die for #tlk finan #tlk fanfiction

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adrenaline-roulette · 4 years

Text

Jet Lag

So, in honour of my 22nd Birthday which was on April 30th. I decided to gift myself some cute Ben Hardy x Reader fluff. This was originally going to be Roger Taylor x Reader, but I was craving some Ben (I mean, who isn’t?)

@not-the-cleavers (Because girl, we all need a little bit of Ben in our lives right now)

Story is based off of the song, Jet Lag by Simple Plan.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader (Female) with friend Joe Mazzello Warnings: Pretty much just pure fluff and cuteness, there is a bit of angst though but nothing major! Word count: 5953

Jet Lag

You collapse on your bed, sinking into the plush blankets, and massive pile of decorative pillows, it had been a long, and lonely week. It felt as if the standard five-day work week you had just endured, had been going on for at least a month. Though according to the red crosses on your calendar, it really was Friday the 1st, and not in fact Friday the 29th like it felt. The lonely part stemmed from the lack of company in your apartment over this past week, your boyfriend/ partner in crime, Ben Hardy was currently on a press tour with his castmates from 6 Underground, somewhere in Australia. While he had been away, your old school friend had come to stay while you had the house to yourself, but she had left for a business trip on Monday leaving you once again alone. You settle yourself more comfortably against your pillows, tilting your head back and to the side, keeping your eyes on your phone on your bedside table, just waiting for it to ring. Any minute now, you knew it would ring, and the anticipation of who would be calling had your heart racing.

The cool metal of Ben’s watch lay in your palm, and you clasped your fingers around the gold, circular face, rubbing your thumb gently against the glass. He hadn’t intentionally left his watch behind, but by the time either of you had realised that it was still in London, Ben was somewhere in Japan. Just as you go to glance down at the time, your phone buzzes to life, before vibrating along to your ringtone. It was a stupid song choice for a ringtone, though Ben had changed it for you just before he left, and you didn’t have the heart to change it. The song in question was that ridiculous, Doug Dimmadome – owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome remix that had been going around lately. Every time your phone rang, it nearly gave you a heart attack, as after each conversation on it, you attempted to erase the memory of your ringtone.

You dart your arm out quickly, grabbing your phone and swiping your finger along the screen to answer, a wide grin spreading over your lips, showing off all your teeth. “Hello…” You ask softly with a bated breath.

“Y/N? Hi luv.” Ben’s smooth voice sends chills down your spine, goose bumps appearing over your arms.

“What time is it where you are?”

“I’m in Sydney currently, and it is 9:15am. How about you?”

“6:15pm here, I just got home from work.”

“God, trying to figure out these time zones is making me crazy.”

“Hey, at least we’re doing better than at the beginning of the week. You were saying good morning, when it was midnight!”

“I just hate the thought of you alone. Five more days then I’ll be home.”

As if on cue, a floppy eared beagle pup leaps onto the bed with as much grace as if she were a hippo. Sniffing around your toes, before galloping up the mattress, and butting her nose against your knuckles, then phone. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m alone. Frankie just joined me, I think she misses you too.”

You can hear Ben’s smile through the phone, and you grin softly yourself, scratching the fingers of your free hand against her head. “So tell me about Sydney, what’s it like there?”

Ben sighs deeply, likely a combination of still waking up, the desire for a smoke and coffee, and the desire to hold you. “It’s alright. It’s really warm here, and the people are all nice. But it’s the same thing every day, we’re all a bit tired of it.” He pauses, and you can hear his bedsheets rustling as he gets into a more comfortable position. “Fuck, I don’t even wanna be in this town.” He grumbles.

“Sydney is a City…”

You know for a fact that he’s rolling his eyes on the other side of the world, you had known each other long enough to guess the other’s reactions without ever seeing them. “Oh yeah, thanks, go on and correct the guy running off five hours sleep!” He’s trying to sound stern, but there’s laughter peeking through his tired voice.

“Hey now, if I don’t correct you, then no one will!”

“I’m sure there’s at least one other person in the world who is game enough to pull me up on my mistakes.”

You raise an eyebrow, a smirk covering your lips as you watch Frankie toddle to Ben’s side of the bed. Circling three times, before curling into a ball. “Ben, you don’t exactly take constructive criticism well…”

Ben groans, and you’re half expecting him to argue, but it never comes. “Yeah, you’re right. Knowing my luck, I’d probably call Sydney a town in the interview, and never be invited back.”

“Nah, I’m sure they’d invite you back. It’d just be to make fun of you is all.” You shrug, grinning to yourself.

“Oi, be nice! You’re supposed to be supportive and caring.”

“Yeah yeah, you’re right. You know I love you.”

“Debatable.” Ben shuffles around again, and you can hear him stifle a yawn against his palm. “So what’s been going on in the world of you then?”

“Work, sleep, work. Nothing exciting really…. Actually, the most exciting thing to happen was on Monday last week.”

“Oh? What happened?”

“I was making dinner for me and Sophie while she was still here. I had just drained the spaghetti I had cooked, it was in the colander on the counter, and I turned around to finish the sauce. The next thing I know, there’s a massive thunk echoing through the apartment, I turned around, and Frankie has knocked down all the pasta, and is running off with spaghetti hanging out of her mouth!” You can barely contain your laughter, the memory of Frankie looking both guilty, yet extraordinarily proud of what she had just done seared into your brain. “She looked like one of those Ood’s from Doctor Who!”

Ben is howling on the other end of the line, the deep baritone of his laughter only causing you to laugh harder. “Yes! Good girl! Good Frankie! Dada loves you!” Frankie lifts her head, having heard her name being called from somewhere. You reach over and scratch her head again, making kissy faces at the cheeky beagle.

“You’re not supposed to encourage this sort of behaviour! You’re the reason why she still does this kind of thing. She thinks she can get away with it!”

“Of course she can get away with it! She deserves people food just as much as you do.”

“Ben! We had no more pasta! She took it all, and there was no more in the pantry to cook.” You whine, though you both know it’s all in jest. You could never truly be mad at Frankie. Despite the occasional theft of food, or shoes, she genuinely was a well-behaved pup.

“Aw come on, you know you’re not really mad at her.” You know for a fact that if Ben were here with you now, he would be pinning you with his best set of puppy dog eyes.

Your shoulders slump in defeat, there was no use in pretending to be mad, Ben would see through your lies instantly. “Okay fine, I’m not mad. But we did end up having to buy takeout for dinner, and that was not the plan!”

“Oh boohoo, you had to get tasty food delivered, what a tragedy.”

“Hold up! How come I have to be caring towards you, yet I don’t receive the same treatment?!”

“You raise a valid point. One which I do not care to argue.”

“Whimp.”

“That’s me! - Hold on a sec, I’m just putting you on speaker. I’ve gotta start getting ready sorry.”

You push yourself up into a sitting position, pressing your back into your pillows. “How long before you have to leave?”

Ben pauses for a few moments, likely to check his schedule for the day. “Um, first interview starts at half eight, last one is around seven-ish.”

“Shit, sounds like a long day, eh?”

Ben sighs, the soft sound causing your heart to ache. All you want is to wrap your arms around him, to make him feel comfortable, and at ease, but you can’t, not from the opposite side of the world. “Yeah, but it’s been like this the whole time. So I suppose I’m kind of used to it by now.”

“Should I let you go now? To go and get ready and all that? I don’t want to make you late.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.”

“I know, neither do I. But- but you’ll be home soon! And you’ll be home for at least a couple of months, so we won’t have to say goodbye at all for that whole time!” You’re trying to reassure Ben just as much yourself. The beginnings of these phone calls were always amazing; however the endings were almost impossible.

“Next time I go on a press tour, you should just come with me. That way we get to experience the world together, and never have to say goodbye.”

This time, it’s your turn to sigh. A deep, prolonged sound which conveys just how tired of this particular conversation you are. “Ben, you know I can’t do that. I have a job, I can’t just up and leave. They need me.”

“You don’t need a job! I’ll always look after you! You know that right?”

You rub your hand against your forehead, smoothing the lines which had formed there as you frown. “Ben, I know you’d do everything you can to look after me. But remember, you haven’t always been in my life. I grew up needing to work to look after myself. And, I don’t actually have an issue with that way of life. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, you make more in one month than I do in six. But you have to look at this from my perspective, what if one day, we aren’t together anymore? What if that happens, and I’ve quit my job so I could travel with you for tours and for work. I’d be fucked….”

“A-are you saying you don’t think we’re going to last?”

You blink in surprise, eyes growing wide as you take in Ben’s words. “How is that what you’ve taken away from what I just said?”

“Well that’s what it sounded like to me!”

You can’t help but groan, this certainly wasn’t going the way you had planned. You were both too tired to be having this conversation, that much was obvious. “Look, let’s talk about this when you get home, okay? I’m not suggesting we end our relationship, far from it. I promise. Besides, having two incomes is probably a good thing for the time being.”

Ben’s silence is deafening, and for a moment or two, you almost think he may have hung up on you. “Okay, I’m happy to talk later. Do you, um, have any plans for the rest of the night?” He’s trying to sound normal, though you know his mind has jumped to the worst-case scenarios imaginable.

“Yeah actually, Joe said he was going to drop round for a bit. He’s been in town the last couple of days catching up with friends, then he’s heading off to see Gwil for a little while. But he said he’d swing by tonight. He claims it’s because he wants to make sure I’m doing alright without you, but I’m positive he is actually just looking for an excuse to see Frankie again!”

This earns you a laugh from Ben, a genuine laugh. You knew it would, but just hearing it allowed you to relax somewhat. Maybe he would forget about what you had said, and you would be able to start this conversation fresh, when both of you were more awake. “Maybe we should get him a carboard Frankie to go with Ben-Cardy?”

“No! That is probably the worst idea you have ever had!”

“What? No way! I think it’s brilliant!”

“Benjamin, Joe has only just stopped posting videos of Ben-Cardy. Do you really want all of that to start up again?”

“Hey, it was funny! Especially that one where I got to be in it too!”

“No, that was the weirdest one!”

“You’re only saying that because you walked in on us filming it.”

“Well obviously! Put yourself in my shoes. You’ve just finished a long day at work, you come home to hear giggling in your bedroom, and your first thought is, fuck my boyfriend is cheating on me! But oh no, instead when you storm into the bedroom, you see said boyfriend in bed with his best friend, and a cardboard cut-out of himself!”

Yet another pause follows your outburst, before Ben begins chuckling. “Okay, yeah, I see what you mean. That probably would’ve been a little odd.”

A rattling of keys in the apartment door grabs your attention, and you peer down the corridor, keeping an eye out for who was coming in. You knew who it should be, but you could never be too sure. The door creaks open, and Joe pops his head in, grinning at you broadly. You had told him where the spare key was kept, so he could let himself in when he arrived, though you had assumed he may still knock to announce his arrival. “Hey babe, I should probably get going. Joe’ll be here soon, and you need to get ready. Like properly get ready, and actually eat something for breakfast. I know you’re back on the smokes…”

“How’d you know that?”

Joe walks further into the apartment, leaning against the bedroom door frame, a fond smile on his lips. “Ben, I know everything. I see all.”

There’s a smirk in his voice now, as if he’s challenging you. “Alright then Miss all seeing. What colour are the boxers I’m wearing right now?”

You bite your bottom lip gently, completely forgetting Joe’s presence for the time being. “You’re not wearing any.” Your voice is low and sultry, and you can hear Ben hiss out a sharp breath. “Have a good day babe, I’ll talk to you later.”

You swipe your thumb against the screen, ending the call before Ben has the chance to respond. “You’re early.” You smile, turning your attention to Joe now, who was intensely pretending to have not heard the ending to your conversation.

“Did you tell him?”

“And hello to you too Joseph.”

“Y/N, did you tell him?”

You sigh, pulling your legs up so you could sit cross-legged on the bed, facing your entire body towards your friend now. “I tried to, but it didn’t exactly go according to plan.”

“So did you or did you not tell him?”

“I didn’t tell him.” Your shoulders slump, and your chin drops as you scowl at the floor.

Joe steps further into the room, coming over to your side where he rests his palm over your shoulder. “You have to tell him, he needs to know.”

“I know that Joe. Don’t you think I know that?” You grumble, flopping your head back so you could look up at him. “It’s just, every time I try to allude to it in one of our chats, it always gets twisted, and it becomes this big misunderstanding. I think telling him face to face would be best.”

“What do you mean, when you allude to it? Are you actually coming out with the words, or are you trying to skirt around the truth?”

“I mean, I’ll get there eventually. One way or another he’ll find out, I’m just having trouble saying it is all.”

“Y/N. If you don’t tell him, then I will.”

<<<--->>>

Just as Ben had promised, five days later you were waiting at the airport for him to arrive home. The plan had always been for you to be there when he arrived home, however Joe had also decided he wanted to wait for Ben too, as he still had another day before meeting up with Gwil. The two of you stood in the arrivals terminal, you with an A4 sheet of paper with ‘Hardy’ written in pink sharpie, and Joe beside you, with an A3 piece of paper which read ‘Ben Hard-On’.

“Could you stand over there somewhere? Like, as far away from me as possible please? I don’t want people to know that I associate with you.” You grumble, though you’re having an exceedingly difficult time not laughing at his stupidity.

“Hey, it was your idea to make signs!”

“Sign! One sign, as in singular!” You sigh, casting a glare at the grinning American.

Joe simply shrugs, knocking his elbow against your arm playfully. “Well think of it this way, he won’t be able to miss us. Not with a sign like this.” He grins, gesturing down to his crude sign with his chin.

“If anything, he may intentionally miss us after seeing that.”

Before Joe has the chance to reply, you let out a loud squeal, before darting off and leaving him far behind. You sprint forwards, pushing past the couple of people who had decided to stand directly in front of you, blocking your sign off from Ben’s view. “Ben!” You call, throwing yourself at him with as much force as possible.

Ben drops the black rucksack he had been clutching in his hand, allowing it to clunk to the ground. His arms wrap around you tightly, his fingers digging gently into your sides as he pulls you ever closer to him. “Fuck I’ve missed you.” He whispers against your ear, before nestling his nose against the crook of your neck, pressing tiny kisses to the exposed flesh there.

There are tears stinging the backs of your eyes, and you feel as if you’re about to sneeze as you hold the tears back. “I missed you too. So, so much.” You whimper, clutching your arms tighter around his torso. People moved around the two of you, pretending not to see the blatant display of affection, or just too tired to truly care. The flight Ben had just departed had flown from Singapore into London, and everyone who exited looked like zombies, your boyfriend included.

“Well shit, I hope you’ve got enough to go round.” Joe pipes up, standing just behind you and to the left, this way, when Ben looked up to see him, he was greeted with the charming sign he had made.

“I thought airports had rules as to who was allowed inside?” Ben smirked, slowly lowering his arms around you, so one arm now rested around your waist.

Joe simply shrugged, grinning like an idiot. “British airports are a lot more lenient with letting in riffraff like me.”

Shaking his head, Ben stepped forward just as Joe did, both wrapping each other in a one armed hug. “It’s good to see you mate.”

“You too Benny Boo.” Joe chuckled, earning an eye roll from the blonde, and a deep sigh from you.

Ben heads back to you, bending down to scoop up his bag, before swinging it over his broad shoulder. “Here, I have a beanie and sunnies for you.” You offer with a grin, holding the items out to him. The beanie was black, and hand knitted by the old woman who used to live in the apartment next to yours. While the sunglasses were the spare pair he always kept in your car. “Just in case you’re trying to keep a low profile.” You shrug lightly, shoving your hands into the front pockets of your jeans.

“Hey, actually Y/N raises an excellent point. You’re a big movie star now. Where are all the photographers?” Joe demands, his eyes scanning across the crowds of people in the arrivals terminal. Lo and behold, there was a serious lack of paparazzi. In fact, the closest thing which came to paparazzi, was the small huddle of teenaged girls who were gossiping amongst themselves, whilst attempting to take sneaky photos of Ben. One even went as far as holding her phone directly in front of her face, pretending to be taking a selfie, and it would’ve worked too, if it weren’t for her flash going off.

Ben smirks, lifting his brows at the girls as the three of you walk past them and towards the baggage carousel. “Well there’s two reasons actually.”

“Oh, and what would those be?” You enquire, keeping an eye out for the bags you know Ben had taken with him. Although you were positive there would likely be one or two extra, filled to the brim with gifts and souvenirs from each country.

“Well reason one, is that aside from you guys, no one else knew the actual date I would be arriving home. In the last interview I did in Sydney, I said I would be flying out in a week. So there’s probably a heap of photographers around the lobby of my hotel asking where I am right this very moment.”

Joe turns and looks at Ben over his shoulder, brows creasing into a gentle frown. “You’re a cruel man Hardy.”

“I know, I try my best.”

You roll your eyes, nudging your arm against Ben’s lightly. “Alright, so what’s reason two then?”

At this, Ben’s face breaks out into a wide grin, as he looks between you and Joe. “I use a different name when travelling. One that’s less likely to have people catch on to it being me.”

Your eyebrows rise at this, this was the first time you’d heard of Ben going under a different alias when travelling. You had always assumed he used his own name… “What name do you use?”

“Probably something stupid, like Dinkleburg Flapjack.” Joe butts in, grinning childishly at his made-up name.

The carousel you were waiting at whirls to life, slowly chugging around as bags begin to appear along its tracks. One of Ben’s bags is one of the first to be spat out, and he walks backwards towards it, so he could answer your question. “I like to go by a name literally no one will ever now. Joe Mazzello is one of my favourites to use. Shockingly, no one’s ever heard of him?” And with that, Ben turns on his heel and darts over to grab his bag, as Joe stands stock still, his mouth opening and closing as if he were a fish out of water. As for you? Well, you’re struggling to contain your laughter, and doing a terrible job at it!

<<<--->>>

The three of you sat in comfortable silence as you drove out of the airport, you had requested everyone -namely Joe- be quiet while you attempted to find the exit to get you back on the freeway. You always hated driving around the airport, all of the exits looked the same to you, but you found it slightly easier when you had no other distractions at least. Both Ben and Joe had offered to drive, which although kind, you had declined. One, because Ben was dead tired, and you worried that he would fall asleep behind the wheel; and two, Joe had a habit of forgetting he wasn’t in the USA, and kept trying to drive on the wrong side of the road. All in all, you were the safest option when it came to driving, at least in this scenario.

Ben had his head resting against the passenger seat window, his eyes drifting closed periodically before he would snap them wide open again, as if trying to convince himself he wasn’t in fact about to fall asleep. “Are we dropping you off somewhere Joe, or did you want to come back to our place?” You glance up at the review mirror, catching Joe’s eye in the reflection.

You watch his reaction for a moment, before returning your attention to the road ahead. You knew what his answer would be, even before you had asked the question. He want’s you to talk to Ben, and he has no intention of actually being there when you do so. He just wants it to happen. “If you wouldn’t mind making a pit stop at that little café you showed me the other day, that would be great.”

You nod gently, flicking the indicator on as you make a left turn towards town. “Yeah sure. That’s no worries.”

“Shoot us through a message later on, and we’ll meet you up somewhere to grab dinner, yeah?” Ben grins, turning around and looking at Joe in the backseat.

“Of course, that sounds great!” Joe smiles, shooting Ben a cheesy thumbs up in order to prove his agreement with the idea.

<<<--->>>

After dropping Joe off, you make the short drive back to your apartment, still with Ben dozing off occasionally beside you. “Hey, what’s that?” He pipes up, squinting his eyes at the dashboard, his view obstructed by your hands on the steering wheel.

You cast your gaze down, searching for what had piqued Ben’s curiosity. “Oh, this?” You laugh softly, reaching one hand forward, and grabbing out the folded picture which had been jammed between the plastic dash covering. “I keep your picture in my car. I figure, if I can’t wake up next to you, then this is the next best thing.” You shrug lightly, embarrassment tinting your words.

Ben reaches forwards, taking the folded photo from you, rubbing his thumb over it gently before peeling it open so he could see both sides. From what you had visible; it was just an image of a bordering on tipsy Ben, his blonde curls tousled and unruly, and his ocean eyes shining brightly behind thick lashes. What had been hidden from view, was how on the other half of the photo, he had his arm wrapped around your waist, while your head was resting against his shoulder, an equal look of joy etched permanently upon your face. “Why’s it only me?”

You tilt your head slightly, looking down at the now flattened photo. “Because it’s a great picture of you, but not of me. Besides, I wake up to myself every day. It’s you who I’ve been missing.” You shrug, pressing the button on the garage key, waiting of the automatic roller door to curl up, before driving into the underground carpark attached to your apartment complex.

“Well I for one, think that this is a beautiful photo. Of both of us.” Ben sighs, rubbing his index finger and thumb along the crease which had formed down the centre.

You pull the key from the ignition then unfasted your seatbelt, swivelling on your seat so you could face Ben properly now. He’s looking at you expectantly, eyes unblinking, and focused solely on you now. “Something’s up, isn’t it?” He sighs, a brief flicker of hurt flashing through his eyes.

You want to lie, to tell him that everything is fine, and that nothing had changed while he was away. Tell him that your lives weren’t about to head down a path neither of you had ever discussed. “Yes, but not in a bad way perse. Let’s get upstairs? You need to catch up on some sleep, and while you do that I’ll start getting you unpacked. We’ll talk when you’re feeling a bit more human, yeah?” You smile, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes like usual.

You push open the car door, sliding out and stepping into the cool garage, the perpetually damp air clinging to your skin like a second layer. “Why are you avoiding having this conversation?” Ben groans, following you around to the back of the car, where you both begin to pull his bags out.

“And what conversation is that exactly Ben?”

You swing his rucksack over your shoulder, pulling a large rolling suitcase behind you. “I don’t know. Whatever conversation it is that we apparently need to have!” He’s exasperated, and honestly, so are you. The fact that he’s tired, and likely has no idea what time it actually right now either, doesn’t exactly help the situation.

“Look, yes there’s a couple of things I need to tell you, but it doesn’t have to be right this instant! It’s not some big dramatic thing, okay?”

Ben frowns, folding his arms across his chest, watching you with a stern gaze. “Well for something that isn’t dramatic, you’ve certainly been putting it off. We could’ve had this, chat, last week. But you decided you didn’t want to!”

“Ben, I am not going to fight with you. Not here, not now, not ever. I am happy to talk with you when you’ve calmed down a bit. But as for right now, I’m going to our apartment, and I’m going to make a pot of tea. I can make it for one or two people, the decision is yours.” You don’t await a reply, grabbing the handle of the suitcase, and wheeling it behind you towards the stairs that lead out of the garage.

For a few moments, you almost think Ben is going to stay and fume by the car, but soon enough you hear his heavy footsteps following you up the stairs, lugging his two other suitcases behind him. “Green or black?” His voice flows from behind you, he sounds nervous, almost as if he thinks he won’t be welcome into his own apartment.

“Black, if that’s alright? I just got a new tin of Russian caravan.” You smile over your shoulder, catching his eye and sending a wink his way.

A blush creeps up his cheeks, one which you watch melt over his pale skin for the few moments it takes before you arrive at your apartment. You rustle around in your handbag for a few moments, before triumphantly retrieving your keys, shoving one into the main lock, and pushing the heavy wooden door open. Immediately, Frankie is bounding towards the door, barking happily at the sight of Ben. “Hey girl. Hey!” He grins, kneeling in the doorway, where Frankie stands on her hind legs, resting her front paws on Ben’s chest. “Oh I missed you so much! Did you look after Mama Y/N? Did you?” He’s speaking in his baby voice to the excitable beagle, and it’s honestly the gosh darned sweetest thing you have ever heard.

“Of course she did, she was an angel like always.” You call from the kitchen, smiling to yourself. It was the truth, aside from the odd hiccup or two -namely the spaghetti incident- Frankie had been on her best behaviour the entire time Ben was away.

“That’s my girl….” Ben’s voice is lower now, and you’re almost positive he’s bestowing belly rubs upon the spoiled pup.

Humming quietly, you busy yourself with brewing a pot of tea, taking far longer than strictly necessary to select which teapot to use. Reaching up to the top shelf in your pantry, you pull down the spherical BB-8 pot, blowing off the small amount of dust which had accumulated on its lid. As you pour the hot water over the loose tea, Ben heads into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist, and resting his chin over your shoulder. “Hey – I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to pick a fight with you before. I know it seems like it though.”

You replace the lid on the teapot, allowing the tea to steep for the necessary 3-5 minutes. “I didn’t mean to bite back. I think we’re both a bit on edge right now. It’s always like this when you’ve just come home, maybe next time we just need to try and remember that?” You half laugh, bringing one hand up, to stroke your fingers against Ben’s jaw. “If you’re ready now, we can talk?”

Ben lifts his head slightly, pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder before standing up straight, using his hand on your waist to turn you to face him. “I’m ready when you are.” He whispers, crystalline eyes boring into yours.

A deep sigh slips from your lips, a frown creasing between your brows as you attempt to form your next words. “Remember on the phone the other night, and I said that me leaving my job wasn’t such a great idea?”

You know that he remembers, how could he not? But this time you genuinely were stalling. “There’s a reason for that. No, not just because the pessimist inside of me is warning that one day I may not have your income to rely on. But because, having two incomes could be a really good thing right now. In fact, it might be for the best.”

Ben has one hand still resting against your hip, while the other is dragging his fingers through his overgrown locks. “What do you mean? I- I don’t get it?”

“What if, it wasn’t just the two of us here Ben?”

“There’s three of us. You, me, and Frankie!”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, a soft smirk on your lips now. “Right, of course. Well what about four then? What if there were four of us?”

“Do you mean Joe? Is that why he came to the airport today? Is he living with us now? Because if he is, he can bloody well help with the rent!”

“Whoa! No, not that! Not at all!” Your lower lip presses between your teeth, as you shuffle your feet along the tiled floor. “Ben, I mean a baby. I- I’m pregnant. And I figure, babies can be hella expensive, so maybe the two of us working will make things a little bit easier?” You’re rambling now, you know that. And poor Ben seems to still be trying to compute the news you’ve just dumped on him.

“Y/N, can we just rewind for a second?”

Your mouth slams shut, eyes wide as you nod at Ben. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you another way. Ben, I’m pregnant. I found out I think maybe, three days after you left.”

“Holy fuck. I mean, holy shit! No, I can’t swear in front of the baby. Oh my god? Is that okay? Or am I not allowed to blaspheme around the baby either?”

At this, you can’t help but laugh, stepping forwards and throwing your arms around Ben’s neck. “I’m only six weeks along. I don’t think you have to worry about thing’s like swearing yet.”

Ben freezes, locking eyes with you as he holds both hands around your waist, pulling you closer against him. “So you’re telling me. You’re pregnant, and the number one take away you have from that, is whether you should keep working or not?” There’s humour in his voice, and his eyes are sparkling with joy.

“Yep. I guess so.” You shrug, allowing your laughter to flow freely now, uncaring if anyone else heard you.

Ben shakes his head, grinning like a mad man. “Fuck, I love you.” He whispers, leaning in towards you. Your lips lock together, melding into one like the perfect match they are. Teeth knock against teeth for a few moments as you work to find a comfortable pace and position, though your lips never part once. His hands cling to your waist, fingers pressing into your soft flesh, as if he were your anchor to reality, while your hands tangle in his hair, fingers curling and tugging at his blonde curls. Slowly, Ben pulls away, his eyes opening just barely so he could look down at you. “I’ll need to stop smoking. I promise I will.” He whispers.

You smile softly, tilting your head up so your nose bumps against his. “Now that, we can agree on.”

If you enjoy my writing, feel free to check out my MASTERLIST. I write for a somewhat varied number of fandoms. My askbox is ALWAYS open, and I love taking requests! It just may take me some time to write up your request, but I will always get to it!

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fic #ben hardy #ben hardy one shot #joe mazzello #friend joe mazzello #frankie #frankie hardy #frankie the beagle #frankie the dog #fluff #one shot #fluffy #cute

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jackoshadows · 4 years

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I was just thinking about how on the show they removed a very important part of book Arya’s story - ‘The lone wolf dies but the pack survives’ - this theme of packs, found family, trying to get back home, making new friends wherever she goes etc.

And how D&D just handed that over to Sansa to make her The Stark on the show without even comprehending or understanding the significance of that line.

And after making that Sansa’s theme - so much so that Sophie Turner got that tattoo (Maisie got ‘No One’ because apparently Arya is no longer a Stark) - they then failed to incorporate the meaning of this very important line into Sansa’s characterization and story at every level.

So while Sansa says that the ‘lone wolf dies, but the pack survives’ she explicitly does the opposite for 3 seasons:

She hides information about the Vale army from Jon to get the credit and glory of the victory, sending Jon and thousands of other loyal men to their deaths.

She gives up Rickon as dead and not worth the risk of saving.

She undermines her brother the KITN, fosters disloyalty against him, makes sure the Northern lords are on her side and not his.

When Arya observes this and pushes back, she contemplates having her sister executed until Bran steps in.

Openly antagonizes a powerful ally who has come to help save her and the North - She never understands that everyone has to stand united against a common threat. She constantly divides with an Us Vs them mentality.

Does not accept her own brother, Bran Stark, as King of the 7K and secedes the North from the union.

Ends the show all alone.

This more than anything shows how D&D just did not understand or get the themes and narratives in the books. They were just randomly assigning words to characters without even comprehending what it meant for the character that it applied to in the books and what it would mean for the character on the show they gave it to. It’s no wonder, considering they said this:

On Game of Thrones, characters are free to while away hours, even entire seasons, on the periphery. The story lines move forward and dig deeper as the episodes progress but rarely circle back and almost never pause for reflection. When I asked Benioff and Weiss if it was possible to infer any overall intentionality to the upcoming 10 episodes, they sneered. “Themes are for eighth-grade book reports,” Benioff told me.

http://grantland.com/features/the-return-hbo-game-thrones/

But it tells us why the writing for the show was so much garbage trash.

It’s why they read Book Jon Snow’s ‘you know nothing’ - an acknowledgement that he still has much to learn - and took that line literally without understanding what it meant for the character and tried to portray one of the smartest characters in the books as stupid on the show.

It’s why they read this:

Needle was Winterfell's grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan's stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow's smile.

and then said that Needle symbolized revenge for Arya. It’s why they gave Sansa a needle necklace to show that ‘Sansa was now in control and in charge’. Why? What’s the connection between Sansa and needle considering Sansa has no idea that Needle even exists? Nothing. Needle is cool and fans love it so Sansa wears it around her neck with some idiotic symbolism that has no value even on the show considering that right after she wears it and ‘is now in control’, she gets raped and tortured.

‘Winter is Coming’ is supposed to inspire dread and fear in us. That’s why it’s the house motto of one of the most powerful and oldest houses in the 7K. It’s supposed to signify this:

“Oh, my sweet summer child," Old Nan said quietly, "what do you know of fear? Fear is for the winter, my little lord, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep and the ice wind comes howling out of the north. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides its face for years at a time, and little children are born and live and die all in darkness while the direwolves grow gaunt and hungry, and the white walkers move through the woods” - Old Nan.

And what did we get on the show? The Long Night lasted 30 minutes and this threat was defeated at Winterfell. The rest of Westeros did not even know such a threat existed - they possibly still think it’s a fairy tale about snarks and grumpkins. ‘Winter is coming’ is a big joke now and House Stark along with it.

Even worse the central message of the show was that Cersei was right and being smart by not going to help the North, while Dany was the fool and ended up losing because she put aside her own campaign to help ungrateful Northerners. The dead never mattered, it was Cersei Vs Dany and the petty games of man that was important all along.

I think that’s why this show has vanished from the cultural zeitgeist other than to mock and criticize. It has no values, no themes, no message, no morals, no well written characters, just plain nihilism through and through. It’s an empty void of nothingness.

I can only hope these clowns never get another good job in the industry again.

#anti D&D #anti GOT #Arya Stark

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the-phoenix-heart · 4 years

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10 Favorite Characters

oh no i’ve been noticed @wisteria-lodge tagged me so let’s do this!

(this isn’t in a particular order, also I decided to do one character per fandom.

10. Sophie Hatter (from the Howl’s Movie Castle film, not the book. idk why but I just never got into her like I did her film counterpart)

Oh Sophie my love, crippled by anxiety and insecurity only to be freed of them and show just how spunky and cunning and full of life you are. Honestly my favorite scene in the movie is just when she’s cleaning the whole house because she has so much character and she just makes me feel great. Honestly this whole movie gives me those warm, fuzzy feelings.

(Sidenote, recently rewatched it and damn there are so many details you can miss. Like, Sophie is already starting to throw off the curse and get younger by the time she’s at Howl’s door!)

((Sidenote sidenote, after watching Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke all in the span of two days I realized in Ghibli movies they tend to have side characters state outright that the main leads are in love with each other which? Idk if it actually is a trend but it’s something I just picked up on)

9. Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson Series & Heroes of Olympus...I never could get into Trials of Apollo)

My. First. Love. For a fandom, for a book series that was slightly more adult, for a character. Percy is so badass and also so so loyal and amazing and I love him. I’m hardpressed to actually talk about him because just thinking about him makes me a little incoherent since I’ve loved him for so long.

8. Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

For all my beef with Miraculous right now I still love my beautiful daughter. She’s so intelligent and good and badass. Oh my god some of her plans are so smart you wonder why she’s stuck with everyone around her. I’d die for Marinette even if she’d die for me. She’s my girl and I’d follow her to the ends of the earth. I have so many fics for her planned that I will never write. Also I freaking relate to every anxiety attack she ever has and she needs to be appreciated more and treated better. Not by the fandom, by the creators.

7. Lucifer (Lucifer)

A CHARACTER! THAT GOES TO THERAPY! Not just that lol. He’s just so charismatic and nice for all his devilish (literally) qualities. And also I know this shouldn’t factor in but SWEET JESUS TOM ELLIS IS HOT! His face, his body, his hair, his voice, his ass. Also I love every moment he sings and plays the piano. And HE NEEDS TO COME BACK RIGHT NOW! I DON’T CARE THAT DEMONS ARE STUPID AND NEED A KING HE NEEDS TO COME BACK! CHLOE FINALLY SAID SHE LOVES YOU!

6. Crowley (Good Omens)

The facts are I love me my sinnamon rolls. I love Crowley because he’s just so damn badass. He’s so smart and resourceful and I LOVE HIS PLANTS! Also I support all the headcanons about all the people over the centuries he inspired. ALSO ALSO I FUCKING RELATE! My best friend/crush rebuffs me and says we aren’t friends and my immediate reaction is to sleep until he needs me to save his dumbass. And he’s David Tennant how can you not love anyone David Tennant.

5. Kenny McCormick (South Park)

I don’t care that I put South Park here it’s my list and I can do what I want! Kenny is frankly just so dynamic and good. Like, Mysterion saving his sister from bullies or getting a job so he buy a doll for her??? And the fact he actually hates dying and the creators actually acknowledge it several times??? Even though it was just supposed to be a funny joke??? And holy crap he’s just a good, pervy, boy.

4. Hermione Granger (The Harry Potter BOOKS not the movies)

I almost didn’t put Hermione because recently I’ve been having very mixed and complicated thoughts on the franchise as a whole but it doesn’t change the fact that Hermione is sharp and ruthless and brilliant. Hermione could kick my ass and I would not thank her but I would tell her she has a mean right hook and that she was very badass. Part of the reason I like her I think is because I literally am Hermione.

(Sidenote don’t you miss when they had Hermione’s hair actually curly and frizzy back in the movies)

((Sidenote Sidenote, in case you’re wondering I was going to put Jareth from The Labyrinth originally))

3. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean-except for Dead Men Tell No Tales that wasn’t Jack Sparrow that was the writers deciding to write Jack Sparrow as nothing but drunk and washed up because they had no idea how to make the new characters shine without dulling Jack Sparrow even though they did it just fine in the first three-)

As this list falls down (reference to Labyrinth ;)) I find myself more hard pressed to find favorite characters. I’m not so good at this as I thought. I either overthink them or just can’t decide. And Jack might be here only because I recently watched all the movies for the first time finally but whatever-I love him. He’s smart, cunning, a badass, and he just gives me feelings whenever he looks out to the sea or at Elizabeth or Will. AND ALSO ALSO he gives me feelings when in Stranger Tides even if I don’t like that movie because he shows he has a heart when he saves the crew and won’t let them die. But also fuck everything with him and Angelica, I didn’t believe for one second there were and had been stirrings between them ESPECIALLY when it all leads up to him leaving her on the island and never seeing her again!

I had...A lot of feelings with those last two movies.

2. Catra (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

OKAY I SAY I HAD TROUBLE BUT REALLY THESE LAST TWO I KNEW IMMEDIATELY I WOULD PUT THEM DOWN. I just wanted to put them as 2nd 1st. Catra is a character who makes cry every time she’s on screen. She never fails to send me spiraling and I love her because she’s so complex and amazing. Catra trying so hard to be bad when really she is a better person than she gives herself credit for moves me and hurts me. I love her

1. Bakugou Katsuki (Boku No Hero Academia)

Anyone who knows me knows he would top this list. My favorite boy. Who ALSO sends me spiraling without fail. My thing for characters who make me spiral might be an indication of my self destructive tendencies. But I love him, he makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he makes me go doki-doki. He’s such a badass and so smart and legit he’s so hot. I have so many fucking headcanons about him and so many fic ideas which I will never post-I just can’t get over him.

(Sidenote there are legit so many good Bakugou gifs...Like I can’t get over how pretty he is!!)

I’m tagging... @queenofthefaces @fiddler-unroofed @bipolarchick18 @apollosukulele @bestprincesslys aaaaand anyone else who sees this!!!

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ask-the-phan-site · 3 years

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The Vain Emperor of the Track

>It’s time.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

This has been a long time waitin’. I can’t wait!

Same here. He’ll pay for what he’s done.

Playing with two people’s hearts like that is unforgivable. It’s time for him to face the fist of justice!

Then we’re off! Let the race begin!

>Mona becomes our van.

Let’s race!

Here we go!

>With that, we go on our way to take Trey Sterling’s heart.

>The penthouse overlooking the track is were very special guest to the school usually stay. This time, Sterling Sterling and his son, Trey, were staying here. They were trying to remain as calm as they can after receiving our calling card this morning.

I’m sure the police are doing whatever they can to get to the bottom of this. Don’t worry, son.

I’m sure, Dad. I’m not that worried... Although, these Phantom Thieves are quite tenacious... Especially the one called Crow.

Mr. Sterling: Now, now, things will be fine. Right now, you should get some sleep. We’ve got a lot to do later on. Good night.

Trey: Good night.

>Mr. Sterling goes off to his room while Trey stayed in the study. Everything was quite... Until...

?????: Good, we don’t want Daddy getting in the way.

Trey: !

>A red wave passes over. When it was done, the study had been replaced with a podium, a place where the Roman Emperor would sit in the Colosseum. Outside, the the track of the Colosseum of Vanity was roaring with excitement... And Trey had been replaced with his Shadow.

Shadow Trey: You have arrived.

You bet we did! And we’re here to win!

Shadow Trey: I’d like to see you try.

Believe us. We will.

Shadow Trey: Very well. To the track!

>With that, Shadow Trey leaves.

Okay, so we all remember the plan, right?

While Trey’s Shadow is distracted by his race with Zack, Joker, Panther, Queen, Crow, Wolf, Speed, X, Slice, and Dice, we will sneak the Treasure away before anyone notices. That’s pretty much it.

Lucy: Exactly.

Carmen: Good to hear. I still wish Player could be here. Or at least have contact with him.

Sorry, Red, but in the Metaverse, the only hacker you have is yours truly.

And we’re all happy that you’re here, Oracle.

We’re all counting on you.

Good luck today, Oracle.

Oracle: Thanks, you guys.

Me, Oracle, Connor, Chim-Chim, and Lucy will be in the pits over the radio.

I will join you as well. If anything happens to Joker, I want to be able to help.

Joker: Thank you, Fox. Wish us luck.

Then let’s get to it! Are we ready?

Everyone: Ready!

*Chirp*

>With that, we go our separate ways. Me, Fox, Panther, Queen, Crow, Wolf, Slice, Dice, Speed, X, Zack, Oracle, Lucy, Conor, Chim-Chim, and Ivy go to the track while Mona, Skull, Noir, Violet, Sophie, and Carmen go to retrieve the Treasure.

>Out on the track...

Oracle: Okay, Lucy, Conor, and Chim-Chim prepped the Mach 6, the Shooting Star, and Duel Aces and Ivy prepped Lydia (Zack’s car). So I did some tuning of my own.

Really? I can’t wait to see it.

>Just then, a large trailer was being pulled up to us... by a small car.

Hi, everyone! It’s been a while!

Panther: (happy) Jose, it’s good to see you again.

Zack: (confused) You know this kid?

Queen: Yes, he’s a friend of us.

Oracle: With a little technical know-how and the power of cognition, I managed to fix up some vehicles just for you. I didn’t want to store them in the garages here out of fear someone would sabotage them and they can’t really exist outside the Metaverse, so I asked Lavenza if I can store them in the Velvet Room. I also asked Jose to bring them here.

Jose: They look pretty good. Not as good as my ride, but still, nice machines.

>We go to the back of the trailer and Oracle opens them. Inside are four cars. One car had an Arsene-like design, the second had a Carmen-like design, the third had a Robin Hood-like design, and the fourth had a Valjean-like design.

WOW! These look so cool, Oracle!

Oracle: (smirking) That’s not all. Each of your cars also has a special feature. Joker, your car, Phantom Flyer, has a grappling hook with wires strong enough to pull the car or other things. Conor even helped me with laser sawblades. Use with care.

>I get in the Phantom Flyer. I drive it to the front of Jose’s car and fire the grappling hook at it. With ease, I manage to pull both Jose’s car and the trailer a decent 10 feet. Then, I activate the laser sawblades and Jose takes out a cinderblock. He moves it towards the sawblades and the block is cut with ease.

This is awesome, Oracle.

Oracle: Panther, your car, Flaming Kitty, has the same cloaking technology the Mach 6 and the Shooting Star have. But aside from that, it can also change its appearance to look like anything. Even other cars. It also has flamethrowers.

>Panther drives the car out. When she activates the cloaking technology, it becomes invisible. Then, it reappears as the Mach 6, then the Shooting Star, and then as Lydia before changing back. Next, she activates the flamethrowers which perfected roasted some marshmallows Jose just happened to have.

I wish I could show my mom! She would love this!

Oracle: Crow, your car, Freedom’s Strike, has the same camouflage technology like Panther’s. It can also shoot arrows and lasers and it also has sawblades both steel and laser.

>Crow drives the car out. It shot a few arrows and lasers into a target Jose set up. Then, Crow activates the laser sawblades and cuts a cinderblock. Then, the car changes its Robin Hood-like design to a Loki-like design. Then, steel sawblades come out and cuts the target in half.

(changing the car back to its original design) Quite amazing, Oracle. You know me all too well...

A little too well for my taste.

Yeesh, I think all that time you spent undercover really messed you up.

Either that or the connection made between you and the target.

Oracle: Now, Wolf, your car, Howling Silver, is built like a tank and is virtually indestructible. Even a wrecking ball can’t destroy it. And it has sonic canons for blasting your way through just about anything.

>Wolf drives his car out. Jose brought out his hammer and gave the car a good hard whack. But the car was just fine. Then, Wolf fires a sonic blast which shatters a stack of glass jars Jose set up.

Wolf: (excited) Sweet! I’m so going to talk to my superiors about making something like this in the real world.

Oracle: Good luck. I want to make cars for the others, but I’ll think about it after they finish their lessons.

Wolf: Probably good.

Dice: Hold on, Queen’s racing, too. How come she doesn’t have a car?

Queen: I’ve decided I’m just going to ride Agnes. She’s the closest to being a car.

Lucy: Is that even allowed?

Queen: There’s no rule against it.

Lucy: Fair enough.

>We take our cars to the track and we ready ourselves.

Racer Shadow: Yo, babe! Where’s your car?

It’s right here.

>Queen goes Third Tier.

Queen: PERSONA!

>Queen got on Agnes as Shadow Trey came on the track with his golden car.

Shadow Trey: Friends, Bostonians, countrymen, lend me your ears! Today will make the day that the Racer Family is finally put in their place! And I take down the legendary Phantom Thieves of Hearts! After this race, no one will ever question again who is the greatest person to ever live! Now, let us begin!

Announcer: Now watch as our most glorious emperor, Trey Sterling, goes up against the soon to be disgraced Racer Family and the Phantom Thieves!

>Shadow Trey comes to us.

Shadow Trey: Hope you’re ready to lose. That’s all you’ll ever be good for.

Speed: We’ll see about that.

Zack: You bet. I won’t lose to you this time.

Announcer: All drivers to your cars, please! All drivers to your!

Shadow Trey: (pointing and clicking) Later, Big Z.

>Zack was trying to hold back his rage as Trey’s Shadow left.

Ivy: Don’t let him get to you, bro. Remember what happened last time.

Zack: R- Right. That was the old Zack. The new Zack is way more cool under presser.

>Ivy left to join Oracle, Fox, Lucy, Conor, and Chim-Chim... I could tell Zack was still mad.

Joker: Are you alright?

Zack: It’s just... Ever since we were kids, Trey has always gotta do me up. Be better than me. And he does it with his old man’s money and then rubs it in my face especially. Why’s he gotta be like that?

Joker: I suppose we’ll know once we take his Treasure.

Zack: Still, I just can’t stand it. He’s worst than havin’ to eat fish.

>I know how you feel. >>You're the better person.

Zack: Come again?

Joker: Trey thinks he can buy his way into victory, but that’s not the same as having real talent. There are some things that even money can’t solve. And I speak from experience. Shido thought that because of his position, he could get away with anything, and look where that got him. The same thing will most likely happen to Trey.

Zack: You really think that?

I do. So to me, aside from Skull, that makes us brothers.

Zack: That’s... That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard. Hey, does that make Ivy like your sister, too?

Ivy: (who heard us and came over with Fox) We’re a package deal. You get one of us, you get both of us. Just remember that we ain’t leavin’ Carmen.

Joker: Don’t worry, you’re not going anywhere from her.

Zack: ... (smiling) Thanks, Joker. I owe you one.

Joker: Think nothing of it.

Zack: No really, you gotta let us thank you in some way. How ‘bout this, you change Trey’s heart, I might teach how to drive not just cars, but other stuff, too. How does that sound?

Joker: Well, if Mona where here, he’d say that would come in handy.

Fox: I agree. You never know when we might need to escape in just a car. You’ve already shown to be good on a motorcycle and you’re so close to passing your diver’s test with help from your father, I think it wouldn’t hurt to try other things.

>I think about it. I would be helpful to learn how to operate other forms of transportation.

Alright, you’re on.

Ivy: Then we have a deal.

Zack: You bet.

>Me and Zack do a fist bump together.

I am thou, thou art I… Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh thy chains of captivity.

With the birth of the Shine Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…

Confidant: Zack & Ivy

Arcana: Shine (This Arcana is made up for this Confidant.)

Rank: 1

Ability: The Getaway Driver

Zack and Ivy will teach you better driving skills to use in the Metaverse.

Announcer: Last warning: All drivers to your cars, please! All drivers to your cars!

Joker: (putting the mask back on) Ready?

Zack: Ready as we’ll ever be.

>So, we get in our cars and Fox and Ivy rejoin the others.

Ready... Set... GO!!!

>And we’re off!

>Meanwhile, with the other at the podium, they were searching for the Treasure.

Skull: It’s gotta be here somewhere. We all sat that light thing right here.

Mona: He must have hidden it knowing someone would take it while he’s racing.

Sophie: I can sense it, too.

Carmen: I wish Oracle could have stayed with us.

Noir: I’m sure if we look harder, we can find it. Just think, where would someone as narcissistic as Trey would hide something that he believes gives him power?

Mona: My guess is somewhere really obvious. Someplace where he just can’t help but show it off to everyone.

Carmen: Maybe that?

>Carmen was pointing to some Shadows that were carrying something covered by a gold tarp.

Cognitive Being 1: There’s the prize for the winner of the race!

Cognitive Being 2: I sure wish I could enter to win it, but no one can beat the emperor. No one.

Cognitive Being 3: Still, whoever wins that... Oh, who am I kidding? Emperor Trey’s got this race in the bag!

I guess that’s it.

Violet: How are we going to get it? There are too many eyes watching.

Carmen: I think I can help with that. Oracle did a tune up to my tools. They should help us.

>Carmen pressed something on her coat and she turns invisible.

Noir: (taking out a small potion bottle) Panther gave us this camouflage potion. It should last us long enough to grab the Treasure and get out.

Carmen: Sounds simple enough... What’s the catch?

Straight to the point, huh?

Noir: Well, we might still have to fight a few Shadows along the way. Including the Palace Ruler. It’s usually unavoidable. So be ready.

Carmen: Thanks, I will.

Then here we go!

>Noir sprinkles the potion on herself and the others and they are hidden from view. They and Carmen go to take the Treasure.

>Meanwhile, back on the track, the race was raging on. A Shadow nearly rams me to the side, but luckily, I dodged it.

Oracle’s Voice: Be careful, Joker. I think Trey’s Shadow payed those guys to take you guys out.

Joker: No doubt. They don’t look like they’re going to let us leave this race with our lives.

Speed: Dad said and Uncle Rex used to deal with stuff like this all the time. I think we can make it through.

Ivy’s Voice: Just try not to do anything reckless.

Lucy’s Voice: Good luck with that. If there’s one thing you should know about Speed and X, “reckless” is their middle name.

Speed: Actually, my middle name is Daisuke.

Ivy’s Voice: Seriously?

X: Well Dad said it was either that or Pops.

Queen: Better watch it, we got one coming!

>A Shadow comes up to me. It transforms.

Bring it! Persona!

Tutorial

You have just entered a Race Battle.

If you have seen Persona 5 Scramble: The Phantom Strikers, this battle is similar to the battles there.

When you attack a Shadow, it gets knocked backwards. When its HP goes to 0, it will be defeated. However, if you get attacked, you will be the one knocked backwards. If your HP goes to 0, it is game over.

>Garuda attacks with Garudyne. Luckily, I dodge it. Arsene uses One-shot Kill. Garuda is knocked back and loses a lot of HP due to his weakness to Gunfire. Garuda drives (or flies or whatever he’s doing in this race) back up and attacks me, sending me back a bit. I drive back up and Arsene uses One-shot Kill again. Then, I attack with my own gun. He is knocked back good. Garuda tries again to attack me, but I dodge it. Arsene uses One-shot Kill again and Garuda is gone.

Joker: That was close.

>Then, I notice Flaming Kitty driving up.

Tutorial

When one of your teammates is in view, you can pass the baton to them.

During this time, the one who passed the baton will have time to regain HP and SP.

>I pass the baton to Panther.

Panther: Okay, it’s my turn now! Persona!

>A Shadow come up to her and transforms.

>The Oni tries to attack Panther, but she dodges it. Carmen uses Agilao. The Oni uses Snap. Panther is sent back a bit. Carmen uses Marin Karin and the Oni is Brainwashed. Oni does not act. Panther then uses the car’s flamethrower. It had a Burning effect. After snapping out of it, Oni attacks Panther with Giant Slice. It was a critical hit and Panther is knocked backwards. Thankfully, she recovered and Carmen used Diarama. The Oni tries to use Giant Slice on Panther again, but she dodges it. Carmen then uses Marin Karin again and Oni is once again Brainwashed. The Oni slows down. Then, Carmen uses Agidyne and the Oni is gone.

Panther: Yes! That’s cool!

>Queen passes ahead of Panther and she passes the baton to her.

Panther: Good luck!

Queen: Thanks.

>A Shadow comes up and transforms.

>The Shiki-Ouji uses Psio. Queen is weak to it and it really knocks her back. She recovers and drives onwards. Agnes uses Freidyne. The Shiki-Ouji is knocked way back. Queen takes this as an opportunity and uses Freidyne again. The Shiki-Ouji grives back up again and uses Double Snap. It was a critical hit and Queen is knocked back. Fortunately, she recovers quickly. Agnes then uses Diarahan. Shiki-Ouji uses Psio, but Queen dodges it. Agnes then uses Freidyne and Shiki-Ouji knocked backwards. Queen decides to go bigger and Agnes uses Atomic Flare. The Shiki-Ouji drives up again, but is real weak. Shiki-Ouji uses Taunt, but it didn’t work. Agnes uses Atomic Flare again and the Shiki-Ouji is gone.

Queen: So glad you’re on our side, Agnes.

>Queen spots Crow in Freedom’s Strike. Queen passes the baton to him.

Crow: My turn!

>A Shadow drives up to him and transforms.

Crow: My skills exceed yours! Persona!

>Throne uses Makougaon. Fortunately, Crow resisted. Robin Hood uses Eigaon. Throne is knocked back. Throne tries to attack Crow, but he dodges it. Robin Hood tries to use Mamudoon, but it misses. Throne uses Makougaon. Crow resists again. Robin Hood uses Eigaon. Throne is knocked back. Then, Robin Hood uses Megaton Raid. Throne moves back up again and Throne attacks. This time, it was a critical hit and Crow is thrown back. Crow drives up again and Robin Hood uses Eigaon. Throne is knocked back. Then, Robin Hood uses Megidola. Throne drives up again and uses Makougaon. Crow resists again. Robin Hood uses Eigaon, but Throne dodges it with Evade Curse. Throne hesitates. Robin Hood uses Mamudoon. Throne is knocked back. Then, Robin Hood uses Megidola. Throne drives back up again and attacks. Robin Hood uses Megaton Raid, but Throne dodges it. Throne attacks again and it is a critical hit. Throne attacks. Crow manages to regain the lead.

Crow: Very well. It seems that Instant Kill didn’t do much... I guess I’ll have to do this the hard way.

PERSONA!

>Freedom’s Strike also changes. Loki uses Eigaon. It was super effective and throws Throne backwards. Then, Loki uses Laevanteinn. The now weakened Throne drives back up again and tries to use Makougaon. However, Crow dodges it with Evade Bless. Loki uses Eigaon again and Throne was gone.

Good. And not a moment too soon.

>Crow sees Wolf driving Howling Silver. Crow passes the baton just has changes back from Black Mask Mode.

Crow: (in cool down) We’re almost there. Keeping going!

Wolf: Rodger!

>Another Shadow drives up and transforms.

Wolf: So you’re the last one between us, Sterling, and the lead. Alright, bring it on! Persona!

>Baal uses Charge. Valjean uses Heat Riser. Baal uses Ayamur. It was a critical hit and Wolf was knocked backed. Baal just hesitated. Wolf drives back up and Valjean uses One-shot Kill. Baal uses Panta Rhei. Valjean uses Trible Down. Baal uses Panta Rhei again. Valjean uses One-shot Kill. It was a critical hit and Baal is knocked way back. Valjean then uses Megidola. Baal recovers and uses Revolution. Valjean uses Agneyastra. It was a critical hit and forces Baal way back. Valjean then uses Megidolaon. Baal drives back up and uses Ayamur. It was a critical hit and Wolf is forced back. Baal then uses Panta Rhei. Wolf manages to drive back up with little HP. Valjean uses Heat Riser. Baal tries to use Ayamur again, but Wolf dodges it. Valjean uses Megidolaon and Baal is gone.

Wolf: Yes!

Oracle’s Voice: Great work, you guys! All that’s left is Trey’s Shadow.

Wolf: Right!

Joker: Let’s hope the others are doing great with the Treasure.

>Back with Carmen and the others, they managed to get close to the Treasure.

Carmen: (looking under the tarp) This looks like a job for the laser cutter.

>Carmen cuts open a hole big enough for her and the others to get in. They go inside.

Carmen: Got it.

Mona: This is the Treasure alright.

Sophie: It certainly has that vibe.

>They sneak away until they were in the clear. The Treasure was a shiny golden racing trophy.

What a surprise.

Skull: And I thought Kamoshida was bad. This just takes the cake.

>Carmen then takes a closer look at the trophy...

Carmen: (surprised) I see, that explains it.

Skull: What’s up, Red?

Carmen: Something real interesting.

>Back on the track, I managed to catch up to Wolf thanks to Slice, Dice, Speed, X, and Zack.

Wolf: Good luck to you all.

Joker: Thanks.

Slice: Me and Dice will take care of things in the rare.

>Me, Speed, X, and Zack drive up to Trey’s Shadow.

Shadow Trey: Well, look who finally decided to show up. I knew hiring those idiots wouldn’t help.

X: Goes to show you that good help is hard to find.

Shadow Trey: Fine, if you want something done right, do it yourself.

Speed: X and I will take care of Trey if he tries anything. Joker, Zack, think you can handle it?

Zack: You bet. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.

Ivy’s Voice: Just try to focus. This isn’t like all the races we’re use to.

Joker: Don’t worry, he won’t be alone this time.

Zack: Thanks, Joker. Let’s do it!

>I nod... and go Third Tier.

Joker: PERSONA!

>Shadow Trey tries to use Brain Shake on me, but I dodge it. Raoul uses Concentrate. Shadow Trey uses Psiodyne. Raoul uses Phantom Show which puts Shadow Trey to Sleep.

Joker: Now’s your chance! Attack!

Speed: Here I come!

>I fling the Mach 6 forward with the Phantom Flyer’s grappling hook. Then, Speed attacks with his car’s laser sawblades. Speed drives back into position. Shadow Trey uses Taunt. I fall under Rage. I attack Shadow Trey with my car’s laser sawblades. Shadow Trey uses Psiodyne. It was a technical hit. I snap out of it and Raoul uses Eigaon. Shadow Trey tries to use Terror Claw, but I dodge it. I equipped Raoul with the One-shot Kill Skill Card and he uses One-shot Kill. It was a critical hit.

Joker: We get another one! Go!

X: This is for Annalise!

>I fling the Shooting Star forward and X rams Shadow Trey’s car, sending it back a bit. X moves back into position. Shadow Trey uses Brain Shake. Fortunately, I wasn’t Brainwashed. Raoul uses Concentrate. Shadow Trey uses Marin Karin. It didn’t work. Raoul uses Eigaon. It took a lot of Shadow Trey’s HP. Shadow Trey uses Sukukaja. Raoul uses One-shot Kill, but Shadow Trey dodges it. Shadow Trey then uses Marin Karin and I become Brainwashed. I nearly attack Speed. Shadow Trey uses Psiodyne. It was a technical hit. I snap out of it and Raoul uses Concentrate. Shadow Trey tries to use Brain Shake, but I dodge it. Raoul uses Phantom Show and it puts Shadow Trey to Sleep.

Joker: Get ready for another one! Just one more after this!

Zack: Here I go!

>I fling Lydia forward and Zack attacks Shadow Trey, sending him further back. Zack moves back into position.

Shadow Trey: (now really angry) I’m not done yet! Let me show you what happens when you cross me! I release upon you the deadly sin of vanity! You have no means of escape, human! The fraudulence of mankind shall bring forth ruin!

>Shadow Trey uses Distorted Vanity. Raoul uses Concentrate again. Shadow Trey uses Psiodyne. I’m knocked back a lot. Shadow trey then uses Skull Cracker. Fortunately, I didn’t get Confused. Raoul uses Phantom Show and Shadow Trey is Asleep again.

Joker: Now to finish this race!

>I give the final blow.

>After that, Shadow Trey was now back behind us. Then, I notice something.

Zack! Look!

>Zack was way ahead of us. He was in first place.

Ivy’s Voice: Go for it, bro! Go for it!

Zack: This is for you, sis! And everyone in Southie!

>Then, in a zoom... it was over. Zack crossed the finish line and won the race.

Cognition 1: (in disbelief) No way! Emperor Trey actually lost!?

Cognition 2: They must have cheated somehow.

Cognition 3: Actually, now that I think about it, doesn’t Emperor Trey do the same thing?

Cognition 4: Hey, you’re right! He paid those racers to kill those other racers!

Cognition 5: We’ve been supporting a cheater this whole time!

Cognitive Spectators: (outraged) Trey Sterling is a crook! A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT!

>Later at victory lane, Shadow Trey comes to us weakly.

Shadow Trey: It’s... It’s not possible... I should have won... I always win...

Wolf: Only because you paid those racers to lose with your father’s money. That’s not how you gain victory.

Shadow Trey: But, it’s my victory. I’m a proud son of Boston. I’m Boston Proud. Even the trophy says so.

??????: Does it really?

>Carmen and the others come to us with the trophy. She showed us the plaque at the bottom. Engraved on it was Trey’s name, but above it was another name that was chiseled out. I could definitely make out Zack’s first name, but his last name was completely unreadable.

Shadow Trey: The trophy? My trophy.

Carmen: I don’t think so. You clearly didn’t earn this. It was Zack’s.

>Shadow Trey looked like he was ready to attack one of us, but instead, he just drops to his knees and begins sobbing. We weren’t sure how to react... Then Zack comes over to Shadow Trey. He comes down to him.

Zack: (actually sympathetic towards his nemesis) Just... Why? Why do ya do this? Especially towards me and my sister?

Shadow Trey: (looking to him) ... You... You really want to know?

>Zack nods.

Shadow Trey: Look at you. You appear to be such an amateur, but the truth is... You were the better racer. You did a lot of things that were better than me. Compared to you, I was the real amateur. This was something even my father knew. He just wanted to see me happy. So, he decided to do whatever it took to make me happy. To make sure that I get what I want. From that very day at kindergarten, I convinced myself that my father and his money were the only way to get it. I love my father. He is a great man. If anyone could help me get my way, it’s him.

Noir: But that’s not how it works. There are somethings that you have to earn for yourself.

Shadow Trey: And make myself look like a fool? Like him? (points to Zack) Never. In this world, you take what you want the first chance you get. That’s why I’ve been so hard on Zack and Ivy. Because I didn’t want anyone to think that any way, despite our backgrounds... we would be the same. But we’re not. We... are rivals.

Zack: (shocked) ...

Speed: So you’re saying all this time, you and Zack could have been friends?

Shadow Trey: Maybe that’s another reason why I’ve always looked down on you. So that whenever you lose to me, you would realize that the only way to beat me was to befriend me. Though I wouldn’t be caught dead associating with someone from lower class, I could have changed all that.

Zack: But... We coulda been friends without all that.

Shadow Trey: !

Zack: Well, I don’t know. I’m still processin’ this. But bein’ so high and mighty around me and Ivy wouldn’t have made us friends. Just bein’ a good sport and welcomin’ anyone who shares the dream.

Shadow Trey: ...

Zack: I know you just wanted to be the best so that everyone would like you, but it never really hurts to show everyone who the real Trey Sterling is. You don’t need to hide behind your daddy’s wealth and power. You’ve got somethin’ that he could never get with his money.

Shadow Trey: ... What is that?

Zack: ... Beats me. It ain’t my life that needs fixin’. (offers his hand) So get up. Try to find just what you really can do.

Shadow Trey: ...

Joker: Listen to him. He may not look like a goofball, but he’s a wise goofball.

Carmen: He’s cares about others besides himself. I guess that includes you.

Shadow Trey: ...

Joker: It’s like we were saying...

You can’t buy talent or friendship. You ear it.

>Shadow Trey just sat silent for a bit. He thought of what we said... Then, he takes Zack’s hand and is pulled up.

Shadow Trey: I’m sorry. I now know that what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have treated you so terribly. And I also shouldn’t have played Bobby or Annalise. I don’t deserve either of them.

X: (whispering) That’s for sure.

Shadow Trey: For a while, I’ve always wanted to be as famous as my former idol, August Gaunt, as well loved by everyone as my old pen pal from Arizona, and a popular as... You, Akechi.

What!?

Shadow Trey: Yes, I know who you are. I suppose the me in the real world knows, too, but hasn’t fully figured it out yet. And even if he has, I doubt he’s going to say anything. Even he wouldn’t believe it. After all... It came to him in a dream. As did Augusts and his pen pal.

Crow: Then you know that my popularity as what you think.

Shadow Trey: I think so. I guess popularity, fame, and being well loved are very different things.

Carmen: You just have to find a way to connect them in a good way. Start with doing something that will get you well loved. For starters, apologizing to those two hearts you played... And maybe donate to a good charity.

Skull: Like the B.O.M.G.T.M. Foundation.

Crow: Or the Worldwide Engineering Brigade.

Shadow Trey: Yeah, I think those would be good starts.

>With that, Shadow Trey returns to his true self and we take our own leave as the Palace vanishes.

>To be concluded...

#phantom thieves of hearts #heist

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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It Chapter Two: Aged-Up Protagonists and the Umbridge Effect

Writing reviews, metas, and the like is a lot about timing. If you don’t craft your writing in the immediate aftermath of your source’s release, someone else will beat you to it and, chances are, your audience will be less enthused about reading the same arguments weeks later. (Admittedly, that’s up for debate. I for one am happy to read about the same shit for years on end.) Thus, when I didn’t have the time or the mental energy to write about It: Chapter Two immediately after seeing it in theaters, I knew within a few days that I’d lost a lot of ground. Fans and critics alike have already spoken about the film’s major draws, namely the update on Richie’s sexuality and the canonizing of a beloved, thirty-year-old ship. We’ve also covered the issues that arose out of those positives. In 2019, is it necessary to show a hate crime in such violent detail? By giving us queer characters, have Muschietti and King unintentionally fallen into the trap of treating them badly? One is dead and the other mourns while the straight couple passionately kiss beneath the lake. Faithful adaptation vs. modern activism is a tricky balance to strike. I could rehash all those arguments here, but why bother? They’ve been articulated better by others already. Besides, falling behind means that I now have the space to discuss something just as important to me.

The Losers’ ages.

Now, I’m not sure if you all have noticed, but fantasy adventures aren’t really geared towards adults. That is to say, stories often contain adult content, but that’s not the same thing as putting adults at the center of the narrative. I’ve experienced a niggling sense of displeasure that’s grown stronger with each passing year and it took until my mid-twenties to figure out what it was: I am no longer the hero of many of my favorite stories. Because I’ve grown up. Harry Potter is concerned primarily with the trials and tribulations of characters between the ages of eleven and eighteen. If we return to that world---such as through a certain cursed play---the focus must shift to the new, shiny generation. Anyone who falls through a wardrobe is bound to be a child and if they dare grow up? They’re no longer allowed access to such a fantastic place. Kids are the ones who find the Hundred Acre Woods, or fall down rabbit holes, get daemons, battle Other Mothers when the world gets flipped, or head off onto all sorts of elementary and high school adventures. Sometimes, even those who are adults mistakenly get caught up in this trend. Frodo might be in his fifties, but as a small, kindly hobbit he comes across as younger than the rest of the Fellowship. Since the release of Jackson’s trilogy I’ve corrected more than one new fan who assumed (somewhat logically) that he is in his early twenties, max. It’s an easy mistake to make when we’ve grown accustomed to children and young adults taking center stage in so many fantastic, high-profile adventures.

Of course, there are plenty of counters to this feeling. Just look at Game of Thrones. Though we see much of the story through younger perspectives---such as the Stark siblings---the vast majority of the cast is made up of adults, playing just as pivotal a role as the up-and-comers. Fantasy, Science Fiction, and other speculative story-lines are by no means solely in the hands of minors, yet I think it’s also worth acknowledging that a good majority of those stories do shape our media landscape. Or, if they’re not strictly minors, they’re characters who embody a sort of static young adulthood, the Winchesters and the Shadowhunters and all the television superheroes who might gesture towards markers of adulthood---we have long term relationships, hold down jobs, can impersonate FBI agents without anyone batting an eye---yet are still able to maintain a nebulous form of youth. They all (try to) look and act as if they’re right out of college. The standards of film and television demand that actors appear twenty-years-old even when they’re pushing forty, and the standards of much literature insists that twenty is simply too old for an adventure, period. I can still clearly recall two moments of shock (later agreed upon by my friends) when I encountered unexpectedly older protagonists in genre fiction: the realization that Sophie actually spends the majority of Howl’s Moving Castle as a very old woman and that The Magicians takes place in graduate school. “Wow,” I remember thinking. “When’s the last time that happened?”

What does all this have to do with It: Chapter Two? I don’t have any big twist for you here. It was just really refreshing to see such a fantastical story where our cast is all forty or older. Seriously, can we take a moment to appreciate exactly how much King undermined expectations there? The first half of the novel is structured precisely how we assume it ‘should’ be. There’s a mysterious threat, there are children caught up in the middle of it, and ultimately only they are capable of saving the day. We know this story. We even have the characterization of the town itself to reinforce this structure, a place so warped by evil that only the very young with their open-mindedness and imagination are capable of seeing Derry for what it truly is, illustrated beautifully in the film by Mr. Marsh straight up not noticing a whole room full of blood.

Though they’re It’s prey, children are also the only ones who have any potential power over him. You have to be able to acknowledge a problem in order to fix it and King could have easily ended his story at the first chapter alone, with the group somehow managing to defeat Pennywise for good the first time they set foot in the sewers. A part of me is still shocked he didn’t, if only because the young savior as an archetype was embedded within Western culture far earlier than It’s 1986 publication. From Carrie to The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Pet Sematary to Firestarter, King is no stranger to putting children at the center of fantastic tales. Yet he’s also given us numerous adult protagonists, managing to find an enjoyable balance between the two, both within individual novels and his entire corpus. It represents that balance, not just imagining a story where seven (yes, I’m counting Stan) middle-age adults manage to finally save their town, but actually setting up a twenty-seven year jump to allow for that. It's the best of both worlds, exploring the difficulties inherent in both childhood and adulthood, arguing that we need each---that imagination and that experience---if we hope to come out alive.

While watching It: Chapter Two I took note of how many people laughed throughout the film, and not just at the moments set up to be funny (looking at you, Richie). Rather, the film that two years ago had scared the pants off of movie-goers now entertained them in a much more relaxed manner. No one was hiding behind their popcorn; there were no shrieks of fright. I’ve seen more than one reviewer express displeasure at this change. What the hell happened? Isn’t an It film supposed to be scary? Well, yes and no. I think what a lot of people miss is how providing us with an adult cast inherently changes the way fear manifests, both literally in the case of Pennywise’s illusions and thematically in regards to the film itself. This sloppy bitch, as established, preys on children. His tricks have the illogical, fantastical veneer that reflect how children see the world: you’re scared of women with horrifically elongated faces, zombie-like lepers, and hungry mummies. They’re literal monsters emerging out from under the bed. Of course, as adults watching the story we’re easily able to see how these monsters represent much deeper, intangible fears: growing up and disappointing your father, falling ill like your mother always claims you will (to say nothing of contracting AIDS in connection with a budding queer identity), and the danger that comes with being alone and ostracized. Sometimes It: Chapter One gestures more firmly towards those underlying fears---such as the burnt hands reaching for Mike when we know his family died in a fire---but only once does it make the real horror overt, when Pennywise takes Mr. Marsh’s face and asks Bev if she's still his little girl.

Outside of pedophilia and sexual abuse, Chapter One’s real horror is mostly coded, symbolic, left up to (admittedly rather obvious at times) interpretation. It’s just under the surface and we’re meant to be distracted by the fact that, allegorical or not, there’s still a very creepy thing hunting our protagonists from the shadows. For two hours we take on a child’s perspective, biting our nails at all the things we once imagined hid inside our closets. We’re scared because they’re scared.

That mindset irrevocably changes once your group grows up. Forty-year-olds simply don’t freak out in the same way a bunch of thirteen-year-olds would, especially now that they know precisely what’s happening and have the mental fortitude to combat it. At least to an extent. Chapter Two isn’t as traditionally scary for the simple reason that the film now acknowledges what all adults eventually must: there’s nothing in the closet, there’s nothing hiding under your bed. Or if there is, it’s something tangible that can be handled with a calm(ish) demeanor and a well-placed ax. An adult might scream when something jumps out at them, but they’re not as inclined to cower. Adults might still be scared, but they’re better able to push that fear aside in order to take action. The group first reached that point in the sewers--- “Welcome to the Losers’ club, asshole!”---and now fully embodies that mindset with nearly three decades of growth and experience to draw on. This is why Ben investigating the library as a teen reads as teeth-chatteringly scary, but Ben and Bill as adults investigating the skateboard produces only a comment about how they're getting used to this nonsense. They know, and we as the audience know, what the real threat is and whether or not we need to shield our eyes when something starts clunking its way down the stairs.

All of which isn’t to say that Chapter Two isn’t scary. It’s simply scary in a much more realistic manner, killer clowns and Native American rituals aside. The fears have been aged-up along with the cast, stripping away the child-like fantasies that made us wet our pants in Chapter One. What’s the scariest moment outside of the jump scares? When two men and a kid beat a gay man and then chuck him in the river to drown. You’ll note that, unlike in the first film, Pennywise doesn’t actually have to do much work here. Seasoning people up with fear? The rest of the world is doing that for him. That first scene detailing a truly horrific hate crime (which, by the way, is based off of true events) results in a meal delivered straight to Pennywise’s arms. It’s people who targeted that couple, beat one of them within an inch of his life, and then tossed him over a bridge, bleeding and shrieking for help. All Pennywise had to do was scoop him from the water and take that first bite. He’s incidental to the film’s most cringe-worthy scene. We can argue all we want about how it’s Pennywise’s influence that “makes” the town this way, but any queer viewer knows that's simply not the case. In 2019 we're still living this horror, no Pennywise required.

Likewise, the two children we see murdered are much more overtly grappling with fears that have nothing to do with fantastical monsters. Dean, the little boy Bill tries to save in lieu of Georgie, is rightly petrified because a seemingly crazy adult is now stalking him. We as the audience know that Bill is just trying to help----that he’s not the real danger here----but that’s not the perspective this kid has, nor is it the issue the film is grappling with. We first see him approaching an idol of his, Richie, and instead of an enjoyable experience he winds up getting yelled at. The It films are only tangentially interested in the status of fans and their relationship with celebrities, but we know it’s a common theme for King’s work overall. Look at Misery and look at this cameo: a disenchanted fan of the 21st century, criticizing a writer’s novel and leveraging him for money. “You can afford it,” he tells Bill, swindling him simply because he can. The context of this little boy as a fan and Richie as the older, bigger, larger-than-life comedian adds another layer to the interaction. It’s not just an adult verbally attacking a child, it’s an adult this kid worshiped enough to recognize and quote his material from memory. Who easily walks away from that?

This little boy then finds Bill shrieking at a sewer opening, is manhandled by him, and told in the scariest way possible, born of Bill’s own fear, that he has to get out of dodge, fast. There are scary things out there, Dean freely admits that he’s heard kids’ voices coming from the tub drain, but right now the scariest thing is how badly the adults in his life are failing him: parents (from what little we can gather) are distant, his comedic idol is mean, and now this stranger is traumatizing him in the middle of the street. Once again, it’s easy to see how Pennywise isn’t needed to sow fear or even enact cruelty; he’s not a requirement for horrible things in the world, he’s merely their reflection. We see the same setup with the little girl under the bleachers. That scene demonstrates precisely how not scary Pennywise is. Here’s this child putting aside her discomfort over his looks and agreeing to be his friend. What’s worse than a clown with a creepy expression? The knowledge that all the other kids have already rejected you because of a birthmark on your face. Bullying is the far greater threat and one we’re 100% more likely to deal with in our lives than a killer clown, so the second film re-frames Pennywise to better acknowledge this. He’s scary because things like bullying and neglect exist to give him an easy in. He’s even scary because in this moment, hiding under the bleachers, manipulating this little girl, he’s fully embodying a child predator. Chapter One was a primal, “There’s a monster hiding in the shadows” kind of fear. Chapter Two is a, “We’re all going to die from climate change” kind of fear. Logical and largely inescapable. Characters like Richie don't need Pennywise to take some fantastic form to scare him. Homophobia has already done all the work.

Ultimately, I think of this as the Umbridge Effect. Who’s the most hated character in the Harry Potter franchise? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the Dark Lord responsible for two wars, attempted genocide, and the death of our title character.

We despise Umbridge because she’s real. She’s relatable. She’s grounded in a way that Voldemort could never hope to be. We have no fear that an all-powerful sorcerer is suddenly going to come out of the woodwork and attempt to enslave and/or eradicate everyone without magic. That’s just not on our list of things to worry about. A corrupt politician, however? An instructor who uses her power to emotionally and physically torture students, getting away with it because of a cutesy, hyper-feminine persona? We’ve seen stuff like that. We’ve lived it. Umbridge represents all the real wrongs in the world when it comes to bigotry and privilege. Therefore we hate her---we fear her---in a way we could never hate or fear Voldemort. Now, in It: Chapter Two, Pennywise is the new Voldemort. Is an alien clown with an unhinged jaw and three rows of teeth technically scary? Sure, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real problems that plague the cast: abuse, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, the fear that someone will hurt or outright kill you over some part of your identity. These are things we continue to fear long after the credits roll and the lights come up, and they’re now barely coded in the story:

It occurred to me halfway through my viewing that the people laughing at the characters’ new plights were the same ones who didn’t flinch when a gay man’s head cracked into the pavement. I had both hands over my mouth during that scene and I wasn’t snickering whenever Eddie had a panic attack, or Ben’s self-confidence took a hit. Because those moments, like our opening, hit pretty close to home for me; I didn’t find them embarrassingly humorous in the way much of my theater did. So many reviews in the last two months have insisted that Chapter Two isn't scary, but I think that depends entirely on whether or not you're struggling with these now explicit threats. We're not dealing with mummies and creepy portraits anymore. Instead, tell me how you feel about holding your partner's hand in public. Do certain memories make you vomit? Or freeze? Consider heading upstairs to the bath? The horror is dependent on how the audience views Bill's stutter coming back, or the bruises on Bev's arms.

The cast grew up. It’s a fantastic twist. It also means that the horror needed to grow up with them, resulting in a film that could no longer function as a simple, scary clown movie. Our ending reminds us of that. When did people laugh the loudest? When the Losers’ club was bullying Pennywise into something vulnerable. And yeah, I get it. It’s a cheesy moment that we feel the need to laugh at because it’s just so unexpected. Awkward, even. Since when are badass horror monsters defeated with a bit of backyard peer pressure straight out of middle school? If this were any other story, Pennywise would have been defeated by Eddie’s poker. The most scared member of the group finally finds his courage! He has faith that this simple object can kill monsters! He throws it in a perfect arc, splitting the deadlights in two! That’s a heroic ending. Something epic and fantastical, relying on the idea that the Good Guys will win simply because they believe in themselves... but that’s not how the real world works. That ending is a child’s fantasy. Sometimes you do the heroic thing and end up dying anyway. Which isn’t to say that the heroic thing is useless. It saves Richie’s life. It’s just that a single act can’t cure all our ills in the way that storybooks often claim they can.

How then does an adult deal with huge, intangible problems like bigotry and mental illness---the things Pennywise now fully represents? By saying “Fuck you” to those things again and again with all the support you can possibly wrangle up at your side. You refuse to let those issues control you; you drag those child-like representations into the light and remind yourself just how small they really are. We don’t get to beat something like depression by spearing it with a fire poker in some overblown finale. If we did, we’d all be having a much better time. All you can do is band together with friends and scream that you’re not going to let your fears define you anymore. Pennywise is a symptom of all the true horrors in the world. Sadly, you can’t beat those with a baseball bat. But you can acknowledge the heart of the issue, literally in the case of five friends squeezing until that one symptom, at least, is gone.

Image Credit

#1:https://www.screengeek.net/2018/07/10/it-chapter-2-character-mashups/

#2:https://earlybirdbooks.com/the-re-read-the-lion-the-witch-and-the-wardrobe

#3:https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/7/4/19413771/stranger-things-season-3-review-recap-hopper-elevenrussians

#4:https://comicbook.com/movies/2019/08/08/harry-potter-movies-review-10-years-late-snape-dumbledore-franchise/

#5:https://www.denofgeek.com/us/tv/netflix/277257/give-the-dragon-prince-a-chance

#6:https://www.forbes.com/sites/lindamaleh/2019/04/23/she-ra-and-the-princesses-of-power-season-2-review/#ec7022c42953

#7:https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/avatar-the-last-airbender

#8:https://www.newsweek.com/buffy-vampire-slayer-turns-20-charisma-carpenter-shows-enduring-legacy-and-566123

#9:http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2009/alice-in-wonderland-the-movie/

#10:https://www.hindustantimes.com/tv/game-of-thrones-this-edited-out-scene-between-bran-and-sansa-reveals-so-much-about-finale/story-qFDHflH2dO6Kcki1wgsEyM.html

#11:https://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Ender-Game-Best-Possible-Adaptation-Book-40110.html

#12:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/supernatural-end-season-15-cw-1196579

#13:https://www.slashfilm.com/it-chapter-two-scene/

#14:https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/9/12/16286316/it-cleaning-up-blood-scene-feminism

#15:http://www.allocine.fr/film/fichefilm-208633/photos/detail/?cmediafile=21647122

#16:https://stanleyyuris.tumblr.com/post/188300897715/chaotic-losers

#17:https://whatculture.com/film/it-chapter-2-every-character-ranked-worst-to-best?page=3

#18:https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/7uhrkz/the_most_hated_character/

#19:https://9gag.com/gag/am2X2Z4?ref=pn.mw

#20:https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-hated-characters-unpopular-worst-ranked/quickview/17

GIFs1-5:https://the-pretty-poisons.tumblr.com/post/188344826978/why-is-everyone-looking-at-me-\like-this

#It #It Chapter 2 #It Chapter Two #It Chapter Two Spoilers #reddie #mymetas

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yama-no-mononoke · 4 years

Text

for all you non howl haters out there who are oh so curious about why i, and many of my followers dont like howl, ive made a comprehensive list of reasons i dont like him

1. Howl is mischaracterized

first off, I want to acknowledge that an adaptation changing the elements of a character is not inherently bad. but when it comes to miyazaki’s adaptation, howls character was not improved by the differences. in fact, his differences make him a weaker character.

how is portrayed by miyazaki as a cool, suave, magic man, who always knows just what to do, and just what to say. and when he blows up because of his hair, it comes out of nowhere, and its really jarring, because the fact that howl is unstable and deeply vain is never really addressed anywhere else, or confronted at all in miyazaki’s adaptation.

And like... watch the movie, and count how many times something weird, or bad, dangerous, or even interesting happens to howl. now, how many of those times did he react with any emotion other than vague amusement?

this man has 2 emotions.

sure, he got red hair one time and flipped out. which only really exacerbates the problem. nothing bothers this guy. not strangers in his house, not the woman trying to kill him hitching a ride on his escape plane, not imminent death. just... different color hair.

miyazaki tries WAY too hard to make Howl calm and collected, but with deep insecurities bubbling beneath the surface. if he did a better job, it would have been pretty faithful to the book, and made for a compelling character arch. But just because we can tell what miyazaki was trying to do doesnt make it good.

2. The “appeal” of howl

i dont get it, but from what i understand, this is what people like about howl:

howl is a powerful, cool pretty boy. but hes deeply insecure, and really scared of... war? being drafted?

and no, dodging the draft doesn't make you sexy. dodging the draft makes you a normal fucking person. so he gets no points for that.

and can we talk about this for a sec? howl ‘running away’ and not wanting to be involved with the war was an element that rings hollow when Howl goes out of his way to attack the army multiple times BEFORE the big climactic “i finally found something to protect” scene. also... you can protect Sophie without putting yourself in danger, howl. its not a noble sacrifice, its just foolhardy and needlessly dangerous for your friends once they have to save you.

he’s got that “im sexy, but i need a woman to love me or I can’t function” thing going on.

also, ive been over already how howl’s whole character is a mess. and its really a stretch to say Howl is at all conflicted. its more like, hes just one way at all times until arbitrary things cause him to sob uncontrollably.

also, because Sophie is such a blank slate, its easy for women to project onto her and imagine that howl is in love with them. not saying its bad to project onto sophie, just saying its easy to, and thats partly why people like howl.

3. Howl isnt as hot as everyone thinks

You’re allowed to think howl is attractive. beauty is subjective. but when people talk about how sexy howl is, I feel like thats owed entirely to how howl is animated.

there are MANY shots, especially early on, where the camera pays excessive attention to howl’s hair, his jewelry, his clothes, and so on. Miyazaki clearly intends for us to understand that Howl is supposed to be beautiful. and in fairness to miyazaki, he is really good as a filmmaker at allowing the camera to gaze longingly at men and not just women. its really good to see a male filmmaker who isnt afraid of trying to make men attractive.

But, the treatment the camera gives him is mainly to establish how beautiful he’s SUPPOSED to be. No matter how miyazaki draws him, it cant make people like me, who dont like him, find him attractive.

its like the movie is tricking you into thinking he’s hot. like. there are only a few mainline ghibli films with adult men you can crush on. and if you’re already a fan of ghilbi, its easy to be enamored with the visuals, and the world, and the tone of the film, and accidentally fall for the trick and finding howl sexy even though hes like a solid 5 with more hair colors than emotions.

final thoughts

I think Howl in the book, the idiotic, self absorbed fratboy, was too far out of Miyazaki’s comfort zone. But Miyazaki could have done better if he tried.

and if you like howl then i think you are bad

#howls moving castle #epic anime fan defeats Howl with logic and facts

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obeetlebeetle · 5 years

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Uh you know I'm asking you to do all those asks bro

aight bro u kno there’s gonna b equal exchange tho1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

hm. full disclosure i’ve never read any hanahaki fics. is this supposed to reveal something abt me or the person i love? i guess if it means a flower that symbolizes the type of love, red or pink tea roses

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

maybe daffodils?

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

either the knight pursuing courtly love or the lazy good-for-nothing scribe jkdshds

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

ok well ideally i could use magic so like. a short, hooded cloak over a comfortable tunic and practical trouser. with sturdy boots. you know, just google erk from fire emblem.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

i would be the god of just counsel, and people would sacrifice things they made to represent the person they wished to reconcile with to me.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

idk how iconic these are but here goes --

"You do this, you do. You take the things you love and tear them apart or you pin them down with your body and pretend they’re yours."

— Richard Siken

“Because, you see, it is only when one is at the end (of tenderness or of any other force) that one recognizes its inexhaustibleness. The more we give, the more we have left; as soon as we give prodigiously — it flows forth! Let us bleed ourselves—and here we are, a source of life!"

— Marina Tsvetaeva

“ANTIGONE: And also because - Oh, my darling, my darling, forgive me; I’m going to cause you quite a lot of pain.”

— Jean Anouilh

But Sophie and Howl were holding one another’s hands and smiling and smiling, quite unable to stop.”

— Diana Wynne Jones

"He has a longing in him: for death by drowning.And he has a longing in him: not to go down."

— Bertolt Brecht

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

axe babey!!

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

hm. the smell of a forest: moss and pine, the ground wet from rain, the smoke from a campfire, the wild roses crawling in vines up the tree-trunks.

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

books babey!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

florida summer storms tower on the horizon, tall and purple and moving in fast. the thunder is so loud you can feel in your chest. the rain falls so thick you can’t see down the street, but the lightning is clear in its twisting lines. and it’s over before you know if, just an afternoon of heavy weather leaving sunshine behind.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

this question is oppressing me specifically. probably sunflowers tho

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

honey in milk babey!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

cabin in the woods ofc

14. curtains of beads or lace?

lace probably?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

vocal, im a sucker for good lyrics

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

...see question #4 jksdfh

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

dwarf!

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

spice cake dude the others Sucks

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

love the idea, never quite got the hang of it.

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

bring on the vamps!

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. hmm. she use daffodils and narcissus flowers, falling stars and ashes, and she would harden my heart. i would be cursed to forever seek out love, but the moment it was returned, i would be repulsed.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

im tone deaf, let’s have a chat

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

mint babey!!

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

o *highkey* stellaluna

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

my college campus has a cryptid, ive seen it twice and i swear by it. the first time was april of my second year. i was down by the bay with friends, and i saw it running across the grass between us and college hall. it was about the size of a cat, with an elongated face and no tail, tall on its legs, and it ran weird. that’s what caught my attention. have you ever seen a person try to walk or run on all fours? it ran just like that, shuddering unnatural movements, but it was so fast. the second time i saw it was april of the following year, walking back up the promenade from the bay to the dorms. it darted across the promenade about ten feet in front of me, and it turned its head to look at me but i didnt see eyes or a face.

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing ointment babey!!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

done!

29. vials or mason jars?

mason jars are just more useful.

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

a three-piece victorian suit, with coat-tails ofc, all in shades of silver and white. i start the night in a full moon mask that rises above my eyes; throughout the night i subtly mark the passing of hours by changing into a half-moon mask, a crescent that curves across my face, and finally a band of darkness speckled with stars to show a moonless night.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

o send me to the waves

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

being rude to someone w a lot of power and little patience

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

blue or green!

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

a crystal ball that imbued me with powers of true divination

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

asdkhkjsdf idiot by sure sure, bardic cover i guess

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

a king but like. really a prince who doesn’t have to do anything.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

um. the tavern. i know me.

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

absolutely not.

39. what skill are you famous for?

diplomacy?

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

beauty and the beast but im the beast and beauty just shows up w some scooby snax n it’s very chill

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

both are *so* good tho :(

#shadiekid

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angelfiume · 5 years

Text

Mouth Like A Sailor Part 1

Hey so I have no idea how to publish a fanfic on tumblr besides just putting it up like this so hopefully this goes well. I was posting on qoutev but it kept crashing my computer so tumblr it is.

Marlena Curtis May 1965 5 months before "I hope all of you will take this summer to exercise your minds... You wouldn't want to go into your senior year with a head full of nothing, would you?" Mr. Mays shouted at the class, he wasn't angry, just obnoxiously loud. I looked across the room at my brother's best friend, Steve, hoping to have someone to smile with or pass a note too, but he obviously was not interested and instead was tracing the hand of a short girl with bobbed hair. She was giggling as he made ugly monster claws out of her manicured fingers, it was kind of sweet honestly. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, looking around the room for anyone else that might be alright with me. Mr. Mays voice quieted as he saw no one really cared about his speech on polishing the young mind, he resulted to letting us free for the rest of the period. I rested my head on my arms and decided to spend the class just sleeping instead of awkwardly trying to make conversation with the dry, ginger soc next to me. She seemed like she wasn't very interested anyways. The bell rung two minutes in to my daydream, which couldn't have made me happier, I jumped out of my seat and yanked my bag with me out the door. Finally I could just do jack-shit and paint my nails instead of listening to the same monotone creeps lecture for hours and hours. I nearly ran down the hallway towards my friends, Sophie and Jean, they were talking fast and smiled big when they saw me running down to see them. "MARLI, tell your brother you're gonna be at my house tonight baking cookies or some sweet shit, Gene Vincent is gonna be at Sophie's cousin's bar tonight in Oklahoma City! Her cousin said we can all get in no sweat." Jean said, she was so excited her heavy eyeliner was creasing from smiling so wide.

"Holy shit, Sophie did your cousin really say we can go? How much money?" I asked with a small twinge in my stomach, the past few months have been pretty tough on my wallet, I really wanted all my money to go into my younger brother's secret college fund.

"None baby! That's a perk of having friends with connections, just pitch in two bucks or so for gas, my daddy is letting me take the Malibu, ain't that exciting?" Sophie cooed, she had this soft voice that could have sounded polite even if she was telling you where it seemed your head was stuck. She was rich too, man her family did well. But she was still my friend, because she didn't care if I lived in a hollowed out coat closet my brother set up for me, she didn't believe in the social class war going on.

"I'm in man! I'll tell Darry I'm going to have a sleepover with ya'll, he won't ask questions, he's too wrapped around the axel with Soda right now." I grinned at them and listened quietly to the rest of their chatter. They could get awful excited about something real fast, it was damn cute.

We walked out to Jean's boyfriends car, he was a doll, always chauffeuring her and her friends around Tulsa. Speaking of the devil, Tommy came sprinting down the concrete steps and bear-hugged tiny Jean, making her scream and laugh.

"Hello sweetheart, ready to be done with the bullshit for a whole 2 months?" he was another one of those guys that seems to really just shout instead of talk, he nodded to Sophie and I and smiled nicely, "ya'll hangin' or goin' home?"

"I can stay a little, we're supposed to be in the City by 9 and we gotta leave at 7 or so.." Sophie chirped

"Just straight home for me, thanks, I gotta make an appearance so Darry doesn't get suspicious" I knew full well that he would expect the worst if I never showed up at home. I jumped down from Tommy's pick- up and yelled to Jean I would be at her house at 630. I smoothed out my black corduroy skirt and re-tucked the ratty pink shirt I had owned since 9th grade. My sneakers crunched down the gravel covering the alley behind my house as I walked towards the backward, where I heard my brother and their friends. Not even the whole gang was there, but it was still loud as hell.

"Hey Marls how was the last day of school? I miss anything important?" laughed Two-bit, the rusty haired boy lay lazily on our back steps.

"Ha, it was fine, you didn't miss anything important. Just that Mark guy offered me a whole year supply of marijuana if I would flash the principal at the assembly this morning" I told him as I took a carton out of my bra and lit a smoke, I giggled a little when I saw him cock an eyebrow. The nimrod probably thought I went through with it.

"So ya did it right?" Demanded a bored looking Dallas Winston. He sat next to my twin Soda, who was laughing quietly to himself, he probably knew I was too much of a wimp to leave school one some crazy note like that.

"Nah," I took a long drag, "I could get that shit for free by just winking at some of the squares in this town... But anyways, where did Darry go? He working late or something?"

"No, he should be home in ten minutes or so, you gonna bail soon?" Soda asked

"Around 6ish I'm going over to Jean's, Sophie and I are gonna spend the night with her." I told him without much worry, I was used to making up white lies at this point, Soda would likely not even care that I was going into the big city tonight, maybe he'd even think it was tuff I was sneaking off to a high class bar with my socy friends.

"Ain't Jean that middle-class broad with the giant jugs?" Dally half-joked, it was almost a long running gag that we had, since he couldn't make a move on me, being three of the gangs' sister, he has always tried his best to get at my friends. I just rolled my eyes and took another drag of my cigarette, lettings the boys' conversation go this way and that and just listen. That's kinda been my go-to lately, when my mom and dad died three months ago I lost a lot of my talkative edge. Shit it's been three months already... I pushed my body lightly off of the side of the house and dragged myself inside. My room really was just a scraped out coat closet. I ain't gonna complain too bad about it though, Darry really did make it alright and it wasn't even too small of a closet to begin with. Hell, if we were able to fit my little mattress and even my record player I bought when I was 11, it can't have been that bad. My stomach was beginning to feel a little green, I had been smoking like a chimney since I got home, and my room ain't too breezy so that tobacco stench really liked to hang around.

"Marlena?" I heard my oldest brother knocking at my door, he opened it and immediately looked a little peeved, "Oh lordy! Did ya just set a whole carton of marbolos on fire? It's a goddamn wildfire in here, you keep smoking like this and I'm gonna have to start checking what you buy at the store now, ya dig?"

"Yeah, I know. Hey Darry?" I said, without the slightest intention of cutting down on my habit, "I'm gonna go to Jean's tonight, Sophie will be there too, that cool?" "That's fine" he said walking back to the kitchen. I followed him out and just followed suit, he got a glass of water, I got one too. We didn't even talk the whole time, he's kinda been quiet lately too. When our parents died in that accident everyone took on a different kind of burden, but sometimes I think Darry feels like he took the whole load, and maybe that's why he's so damn stressed. Coming home from the funeral with my brothers felt like I had just taken a few strangers from the graveyard and said "you'll do." Darry used to be that real fun, hilarious older brother. We used to go out all the time and just talk about everything. We would talk about how mom was a little too harsh sometimes on people and that it was pretty funny that dad would just push her buttons when she would get annoyed by the little things. My youngest brother, Ponyboy, well he just downright terrifies me the way their deaths changed him. He didn't use to be so dreamy all the time, he always had a big imagination, but this time it's different, he tried to follow mom and dad's souls up to heaven and got stuck somewhere between space and the East Side. Sodapop though, he seemed to take it the healthiest, he wasn't shy about bawling and howling like an idiot at the funeral. He had to express how he felt, so he did. But one thing that did change was the side of him people usually forgot about started to rear its ugly head just a little more every once in a while. Soda is charming and nice, but he's also reckless and clumsy and he won't look before he just starts running. I'm not trying to but my brothers in a bad light though, I certainly haven't been perfect since the accident either.

Jean's dad was in the army, and her mom was a nurse, so they got along pretty okay. She wasn't by any means rich, but she surely never had a shortage of cash by the end of the month. Her house was just a quick bus ride from my neighborhood, it was two stories, well kept, and all the bathrooms were pink. I knocked on the door and not even a second later it was the bermuda triangle of "can you answer that?" between her and her parents. It was her mom who came to the door, she was a real neat lady. Joan's mom was actually real tough, she had a hard life as a kid and she don't have the easiest job in the world.

"Hello Marls! Don't you look like a doll tonight?" She smiled up at me, I am pretty tall for a girl and I usually tower over most ladies I meet.

"Thank-you Mrs. Massey, it's just my school clothes, but I figured it would be alright for tonight, ha," I tried my best to sound like a nice girl, but she was just so damn down to earth I really don't think she'd judge me too harsh. She let me in and walked me all the way to Jean's room, asking about my brothers and if Pony was proud of himself that he came in 2nd at his last track meet. It was nice talking to a mom.

Jean popped up from the floor when I walked in, "You ready to leave soon? I just gotta find my lipstick and Sophie will be here soon, we're gonna get burgers at Dairy Queen on the way out of town, my mom gave me food money if any of us need." she spoke briskly and with a butt-load of excitement.

"Yeah I'm all set" I giggled quietly as she threw tubes of makeup to the floor trying to find her token lipstick. She got it and we tumbled down the stairs just as Sophie was pulling up to the house.

#the outsiders #Dallas Winston #curtis sister #Ponyboy Curtis #darrel #darrel curtis #Sodapop Curtis #two bit mathews #Steve Randle #cherry valance #S.E. Hinton #Johnny Cade

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