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lightseoul · 1 year

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still do

synopsis. bakugou katsuki finally confronts you. you have a difficult conversation. (part 1) (part 3)

cw. fem!reader, worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~24 yrs old), lots of cussing

word count. 1.5k words

a/n. here's part two of admit it, everyone!! thank you for all the love on the first one and i hope you like this continuation <3 reblogs and comments will be highly appreciated (´∀｀)♡

“Excuse me?”

His eyebrows furrow ever so slightly, you would’ve missed it if you just looked away for a split second.

“You heard me.”

You scoff. Unbelievable.

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I did,” you snap back. “I just couldn’t believe the ludicrousness that came out of your mouth.”

“What?” he frowns, “I just thought— with everything that you do and say—” his eyes drift away from you as he trails off. “Shit.”

You don’t know how you feel, let alone what to think about how you’ve been acting when things concern Bakugou, either. But you do know one thing.

He had no right bringing shit up like this.

Not after he just left your relationship to die out like that.

You peer over your shoulder, wary of any prying eyes and eavesdropping ears beyond the open doorway.

You twist your head back to look at him, venom ready on your tongue.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Bakugou.”

At that, you spin on your heel, ready to march toward the exit and not spare him a second glance, when he makes a grab for your wrist. Again.

That’s it.

Fuming, you turn to face him and yank your hand free. “You have to be fucking kidding me! You can’t expect me to do all the work again, Katsuki,” you exclaim, “That’s what you had me doing in the last two months of our relationship, and now you expect me to say, what, that I love you and I want you back, just like that?”

“And for what?” you cackle, “So you can fucking rub it in my face?”

“No!” he yells back. “Fuck, because I still do!”

You suck in a sharp breath. “What?”

“I still love you,” he admits, a scowl now decorating his face. “And I might just be losing my damn mind, but all the signs point to you being in love with me, too.”

Your head is reeling from his weighty confession, heart going at a hundred and fifty beats per minute, but you manage to snort, “Signs? What signs?”

“The coffee?” he starts, “How you go the extra mile with work when it concerns me? How you haven’t gone on a single date since we broke up? And all the others before that.”

He shakes his head, incredulous. “Don’t even go on—just—fucking thinking that I don’t notice.”

You have absolutely no defense for the first two, so you fire back at him on the last sentence instead.

“Didn’t it ever occur to you that our relationship could’ve possibly left me traumatized?”

That shuts him up.

You bite your lip. Maybe that was a bit of a harsh overgeneralization.

You huff, opting to rub your temple in exhaustion instead of looking at him in the eye.

When you speak up again, your voice is lower, volume brought down a notch from exhaustion, or in an attempt to be gentler—you’re not sure.

“I don’t even know why you’re doing all this, Katsuki,” you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood although you know there’s no helping it. “It’s not like you want to get back together…”

You lock eyes with him, and the certainty that once laced your tone suddenly dissolves in your tongue.

“...right?”

He just stares at you, eyes brimming with what you’ve identified long ago as longing, and you find yourself shaking your head before you can even think about doing so.

“...No.”

You gulp, panic rising in your throat. “I can’t go through that all over again. There’s a reason why we broke up.”

“There’s a reason why we went on a break,” he corrects. “And I acknowledge that. I was an asshole who prioritized work over you and our relationship and had to pay the price for it.”

“But our break up?” he shakes his head in what you think is confusion.

Desperation, too.

“We were just on a break…” he continues, “and before I knew it, we already had our friends picking up our things for us.”

He eyes you for what feels like minutes before speaking up again.

“What happened, Y/N?”

“What happened?” you immediately sputter back in disbelief. “You didn’t come after me, that’s what happened! You didn’t bother to prove to me that I was wrong and that you could change—or even protested when I asked for a break!”

“I thought you wanted the fucking space!” he shouts back, frustrated. “I waited it out—I waited for you to take me back. I spent all that time apart trying to become a better person. I even asked shitty Deku to hook me up with a shrink—only to be met with radio silence from you!”

“Then, what?” you challenge, “You just decided a month in that I wasn’t worth waiting for anymore?”

“I just wanted to give you more space by not having you suffocated by my stuff! Shit—,” he curses, “—the last thing I fucking expected was for Bug Eyes to be at my door the next day asking for yours.”

You could only gape at him in unabashed disbelief.

“You’re a dumbass for thinking that move was okay.”

He huffs in defeat. “I thought it made sense at that time. I’m sorry.”

The reality of your miscommunication and the resulting fallout finally sinks in as you stare at each other, the pained look of realization etched across both of your faces.

You look down at your feet, unable to sustain his penetrating gaze for any second longer.

You sigh, “...None of that matters now, Kats. We’re broken up. And you’ve been doing a hell of a good job keeping your distance. It—”

“‘s only because I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

You look back up at him, “What?”

He chuckles, but his eyes are far from happy.

“I kept my distance because I thought that was what you wanted from me,” he shifts on his feet, now slightly leaning toward you. “But then I started noticing the little things, and both Kirishima and Mina mentioned some shit—”

“Fuck.”

“—and talked some sense into me. Which is why I’m asking you now. Please,” he steps closer to you, and you take a step back out of instinct. Hurt flashes across his face, but he doesn’t make a move to get any closer.

“Please,” he repeats, “just give me another chance.”

“Hold on,” you shake your head, glaring back up at him. “Stop making this about me and what I want, Katsuki. Let’s make this clear.”

You stab a finger to his chest. “You kept your distance because you were a coward. Just admit it—you couldn’t bear being the one who has to swallow their pride and chase after the other person.”

“I know, which is why–”

“No, I don’t think you do,” you interrupt. “If you did, you would’ve just told me you still love me instead of demanding that I say it to you first.”

“So you still do?”

“What?”

He searches your eyes for something. “Love me. I just need to hear you say it, please.”

You huff for the nth time. You’re too tired to be mad at his audacity and to entertain the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach despite yourself.

“So what if I still love you?” you mumble. “It’s not like that will change anything.”

At that, he chances another step toward you, but this time, you don’t move back. You simply stand your ground.

“It does,” he rasps, “It changes everything.”

You look into his eyes for any sort of deceit or treachery, but all you find is honesty. The tears that you think he’s been trying to hold back the entire time now trickle down his cheeks.

Before your brain could even catch up with what you were about to do, your hand shoots up to gently wipe them off his face.

He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering closed. Your heart clenches at the sight.

You missed him, you finally admit to yourself. You always have.

A moment passes before you slowly retract your hand back to your side. The disappointment that flashes across his features when you do is palpable, it almost physically hurts you.

You look up at him and muster a small smile. “Does it really, Kats?”

His eyebrows furrow in question, but he doesn’t say anything, tear streaks now staining his cheeks.

You take in a shaky breath before continuing.

“Does it change the fact that you’re still incredibly busy?” you start.

“That every day, you’re gonna have to choose between work and me? And that you’re always gonna be a hero first and a partner second?”

You smile.

“That I’m always gonna have to swallow my pride and chase after you for as long as we’re together?”

He continues to stare at you with a deep sense of longing, but at that, he says nothing.

You chuckle again, even though the last thing you want to do right now is laugh.

“I thought so.”

tagging. @katsukis1wife @rinalou @bakugouswh0r3 @poemzcheng @lovra974 @jasmixs @xoneaboveallx @bontensh0e @kooromin @sirenmoi @buzzbuzz-hm @xzsanaa @baddecisionsworld @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @i-simp-to-much @goldenglow149 @fixed211 @zenxvii @roses-arerosies @tiredjuniper @curbstompedrice

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagines #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bakugou angst #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #first time writing something w no timeskips!!! LMAO #this was so difficult oml #i hope yall like it : (#i love angst and drama so much SHAJSHAJ

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stressfulsloth · 10 months

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Thinking about Harry and all the animal parallels that follow him through the narrative. It's true that these animal parallels reflect the way that the brutality of individualist moralism strips him of humanity as someone who has fallen through the safety nets, and his agonised shout of 'I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore' can be interpreted as a direct admission of the RCM's dehumanisation of him as a disabled addict who is no longer as 'useful' as he once was. Gottlieb even directly tells him '[he] lost [his] human visage a while back.' Jean calls him 'the most dangerous animal of them all'. The rabid dog that needs to be put down, the black dog (also a common metaphor for chronic mental illness!) that Mollins shoots as it licks its wounds; the scared, hurt, frightened animal lashing out, chewing off it's own leg to escape the trap that it's caught in. The wild dog is all they can see.

But then there is a flipside to these parallels too; a kindness, a gentleness, almost a freedom in Harry’s animal parallels. He's strong like a 'goddamn ox,' like a bear ('I had to kill the bear to become the bear'). He's a harrier hawk, a name given to ensure his safety, raised up to the level of the aerostatics looking down over Revachol, 'soar[ing] on the wings of [his] spirit hawk.' He's a leopard ('its impossible to know where you end and the leopard begins'), discovering or rediscovering a love of softness and sensuality that he'd not known before via the leopard print leotard that 'speaks to the animal inside [him]' and touches on his relationship with his gender ('Yes, this is the type of animal I want to be.').

He's a 'seagull', a bird that will do 'whatever it takes to survive,' a 'bird of paradise' that tells a story of 'endurance- and adaptation' ('You! You and the seagull are just alike!'). He survives, despite everything, despite the grimness of the world around him. He endures. Even the sea monster comparison is oddly kind ('You've become a sea monster -- giant, hidden and... strangely tender at heart'). Even as a monster, he's still gentle; he still has so much love for this world that has wrung every last bit out of him. As if his tenderness is such an inherent part of him that no matter what monstrous face he wears, no matter what creature is there in his shadow, he cannot help but have some trace of it at his core. His tender soul 'quivering like jello.' The pain he feels is raw and animal but so is the love he feels. So is the hope and the fear and the wonder.

#every time i read the leopard scene i go feral over it i love him #guhhhh words are difficult and this is a mush but i hope you understand what I'm trying to say #disco elysium #harry du bois #long post #again apologies if this doesn't make sense #also the sea monster line is from him trying on the blue lens glasses lmao it sounds much deeper than that but i still love it so much #tender as in his still-aching heart and the raw wound of his memory loss but also tender in his love for the world #calling himself a monster but even still he can't erase the tender parts of himself #DE rambling

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