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sapphicwhxre · 3 years

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ASTERIA'S 2.5K FOLLOWER FIC REC LIST

i read fics just as much as i write them so here are some of my favourites. tysmsm for this milestone, i love you all <3 quick note: i didn't re-tag anyone if i recommended more than one of your works because of the tag limit.

───────── girls ─────────

hermione granger

tuesdays - @stupxfy

probably one of my all time favs for hermione. it's just so well written and adorable and fluffy and yes.

if i could tell her - @hellounicorn

pining, pining, PINING. the way these emotions and hermione's described is just... art. perfection. there's a happy ending and it is so worth the build up.

darling dearest - @dracolvr

fluffy goodness. read to be hopelessly in love with hermione ─ which, let's be real, we all are.

november rain - @pansydaisy

uhm i love this one sm. it's so simple but amazing ─ everyone has their days like this and having hermione to cure them? it's what everyone needs.

i need more - @15-dogs

i sobbed the first time i read this. it'll break your heart but it's so amazingly written that it's worth the sadness. actual gut wrenching / mindblowing writing.

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

the title. need i say more?

honeyed eyes - @minty-malfoy

HEAVEN. being hermione's first kiss as friend? but both of you idiots liking each other? oh my god, sign me up.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

again, the title. read to feel 🥺💙

grey days - @pepperimps01

PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

grenade - @hellounicorn

another one that'll make your heart shatter. but in the best way. these are the fics i live for where the you can't help but feel like it's really happening to you and hermione and god it's so fucking powerful. underrated writing right here in general. and also pansmione is the loml so it hurts in that way.

honeybees - @pansydaisy

fluffy aesthetic heaven.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

two queens in a king sized bed - @shysneeze

domestic christmas morning with hermione and it's angelic.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

one of those blurbs i never imagined i'd read or love so much. not to mention it's spot on and adorable.

pansy parkinson

right and wrong - @starrkidmalfoy

a first kiss and the overdone trope that i will never get sick of, the bitch who's soft only for you. the descriptions in this are perfection and the writing is beautiful <3

messed up - @writseo

toxic, messed up love fics will be the death of me. insane how well you captured it all and i just yes damn fucking props.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

*screams* THE BEST FRIEND BANTER + THE ENDING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ─ I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ THIS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

dating pansy would include - @lotsoffandomimagines

ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE SHIT and to this day, pansy saying "jealous much?" when being scolded for pda remains iconic.

grey days - @pepperimps01

as i said before: PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

new rules - @silversslytherin

excuse me this is immaculate ─ pansy is the best friend and the second you see that she's also the best s/o, you're done for. perfection.

study "dates" - @turning-dreams-into-chaos

the title is self explanatory and this whole thing is fluffy heaven <3

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

read the title, thank me later.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

traitor - @hufflepuff-writings

a masterpiece where pansy chooses the wrong side in the battle of hogwarts. this ties up so well and the writing is so powerful.

back alley love potions - @a-simple-imagine

this actually hurts but in a beautiful way. watching pansy give draco a love potion is such a fucking concept and this is executed incredibly.

my little bunny - @emmamarie7708

pansy making you do this is so dirty yet she's slightly sweet and i am a sucker for it. god is a woman and her name is pansy fucking parkinson.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

i'll let pansy beat people up for me all day. they put me in madame pomfrey's, feel my girlfriend's wrath.

ginny weasley

blissful - @enyastasia

fluffy ginny goodness. the friends to lovers? the amazing kiss? 🥺🥺🥺💞💞 this fic lives in my heart <3

bubble pop electric - @hunnypot-imagines

this is hotter than a lot of actual smut and the chemistry is so... wow. ginny weasley owns me.

dear ginny - @alyssamalfoy

how does this short ass letter manage to make me feel so much. it's sorcery but i don't even care, it's beautiful.

wildflower - @pansydaisy

will i ever get tired of cheeky i love yous? not when loves like ginny weasley and ayli's so so pretty writing exist.

all i want - @hellounicorn

ouch. fuck you harry :) quite possibly the best ginny fic i have ever read. insanely talented writing, i genuinely feel every touch of emotion you put down and you need to know how amazing that is. keep breaking my heart.

linny hcs - @bluebirdlinginthenest

who doesn't need good linny content in their life?

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

sexy bitch, fuck me up.

willow - @padmeamiala

ginny is the loml. her brothers can cry about it.

bellatrix lestrange

attempting to bake with bellatrix - @carters-coffee

MY FAVOURITE BELLA FIC ─ there's not enough bellatrix fluff out there but this makes up for the lack of. heaven.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

this gives me chills. she knows she's a bad bitch and that's what we love about her.

change of plans - @dumb-sbian

why THE FUCK have i not had a rainy morning with bellatrix? she can sleep and mumble something just like this and i'm still head over heels for her.

being tortured as bellatrix's girlfriend - @writings-of-a-british-fangirl

definitely a concept BUT this makes me feel some type of way and i recommend giving it a minute of your time 😌

bellatrix finding out you're a muggleborn - @carters-coffee

the beauty, the nuance omg. this is art.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

yep jealous bella. trust me, im all yours mommy <3

sex with bellatrix would include - @onegayastronaut

so short but... sign. me. up.

luna lovegood

never leave - @/deactivated

luna smut is hard asf to come by and this is my favourite. it's so luna and the pain over her not knowing, not getting that closure about how you feel until this is an amazing rollercoaster.

she - @hunnypot-imagines

the beauty of falling in love with luna, through this majorly talented writing. ten out of fucking ten. i will not elaborate but there's also majorly good association in this imo.

silver berries and flickering fireflies - @duskgrangers

i love this fic so much. she's so herself and that is why we ✨ simp ✨ and the scene set just sounds so prettyy

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

luna + this title? yes please, ma'am i am simping.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

put me in your pocket luna. im begging you.

dancing in the rain with luna - @/deactivated

only luna would get you a dress to go dancing in the rain and this is the stuff of blissful, fluffy dreams.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

short and cute, do me a favour and read it :)

dating luna lovegood would go like - @glossymalfoy

life is NOT worth it if you don't read these cute little headcanons and imagine dating ravenclaw's baddest bitch.

linny hc - @bluebirdlinginthenest

like i said, who doesn't need good linny content?

cho chang

strawberry kisses - @pansydaisy

the only cho fic i've been able to find and it's SO WORTH IT. the cutest, it flows so well, and i absolutely love it. i need this with cho tbh.

fleur delacour

toutes les etoiles - @coffee--writes

im in love with fleur and this amazing writing. and for the first time since i started high school, my three years of taking french feel good for something.

being best friends with fleur would include - @harrypotter-imaginess

not romantic but actually so sweet pls. i want this friendship in my life so bad.

nymphadora tonks

dating nymphadora tonks would include - @imaginesforgirls

dating her + that warm little feeling of bliss that only HCs can give you

taking care of her after the war - @random-imagines-blog

this kind of hurts in that good ass way and i lovee it. they're simple hcs but i feel for tonks so much and then there's that warm lil feeling when you're the one to put her back together aand now my primary life goal is to help this woman heal.

───────── boys ─────────

harry potter

phosphenes - @minty-malfoy

ok shakespeare, the fuck?? this fic will never not get me right in the heart. the angst, holy fuck. and for once, the reader doesn't hurt harry and let draco walk all over them and it's just done so well. the transition from a toxic relationship to a sweet, loving one PLEASE. it's beautiful.

happy memories - @15-dogs

how does this manage to be so. smutty and fluffy at the same time? this is one of those short ones that has lived in my head, rent-free since i read it. and tbh any fic that includes expecto patronum is guaranteed to be good.

come back to me - @wondernimbus

right from the beginning, it's a mess of emotions both good and bad. that kind of good ass writing that hits you in the heart <3

making out with harry potter would include - @badfvith

read this title. done? now thank me later.

harry prompt - @thoseofgreatambition

harry x a sarcastic swooning bitch is an elite trope idc. short and sweet, i'm marrying this fic.

keep your eyes on the prize - @rowema-ravenclaw

first of all, showing harry up and second, pure fluff (and a little steam) right after. i also love how she writes harry in general because he's totally safe/in love with the relationship but still has that awkward lovable shyness and i just... *sighs*

always - @pansydaisy

uhm i will always love him and always reread this a thousand times so its a fit title + a good read.

late night studying - @lumosandnoxwriting

fuck studying, let his hand stay in my shirt. once again recommending fluffy bliss in the form of a short read that makes me feel things <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

he's so stupid. but he still loves you + this is from our resident perfectly talented writer so its a win.

cuddling after a rough quidditch practice - @badfvith

harry james potter is : b a b y

gryffindor's victory - @rowema-ravenclaw

make me gryffindors fucking cheerleader because HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. AND THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE PLEASE. just read it, you won't regret it.

draco malfoy

silent treatment - @slytherinwh0re

andy's mad talented and this is just... insert a cheesy chefs kiss. unbelievably adorable but so fucking hot and an actually good smut plot (which is rare lmfao). remind me to give draco the silent treatment every time im upset.

rewards - @malfoysstilinski

so hot PLS. hype him up for the match and get your reward, bye. so good.

reading between the lines - @minty-malfoy

i've said this a thousand times but that's what happens when you've got a mad talented mutual BLESSING everyone with beauty like this. butterflies and warm feelings all around when i read this 💓

point of view - @draconisxcaput

its angst for hermione and fluff for you but overall ethereal writing. i am never going to recover from the pure talent that this is.

im not kidding im dying - @malfoysmatrioshka

i hate being sick with a passion but this... this would make it worth it.

hogwarts express - @/deactivated

draco fucking you because he knows harry's watching. the shit of legends and god is it hot.

draco laughing at you because you can't walk after sex - @glossymalfoy

*motions to the title* fluff with this loser 😌

the cheeseburger - @slytherinwh0re

really short read but this is one of those things i just. didn't know i needed. you're missing out and haven't even realised it if you haven't read about introducing him to cheeseburgers. and that ending is so funny/in character to me i fucking love it.

four am - @malfoysstilinski

domestic draco 🥺 but also sad draco 🥺 and then fluffy draco 🥺

hugging him from behind - @pastanest

real short and it'll brighten your day <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

how is it that this is so stupidly adorable. i love it 💘

ron weasley

heather - @hellounicorn

always making me cry with your fics i swearrr. this is a must-read. having someone but them not really being yours is a beautiful trope and this fic absolutely does it wonderful, poetic justice. your angst is addicting.

apple pie - @pregnant-piggy

ABSOLUTE DOMESTIC BLISS I AM IN LOVE. i don't even like kids or baking that much but this made me so soft. the whole cozy, heavenly vibes from this fic yes yes yes.

jealousy - @writeroutoftime

cliché jealousy turns friends to lovers and i am a sucker for it all over again <3

shaking and trembling - @ronsbadidea

if ron doesn't finger fuck me and then make a cheeky comment about it in class later then WHAT IS THE POINT :(

mixed signals - @iamthecabbage

i've always figured ron is this awkward idiot cutie with a crush and yea, this is it.

fred and george weasley

i love you, but you don't - @george-fabian-weasley

fred's a character i really don't read for often but goddamn. it's the saddest, most beautiful mix of rejection and pain and fred desperately caring but not in the way you want him to ─ an angsty masterpiece.

cockwarming george - @roonilwazlibimagines

because of this filthy gem, i one hundred thousand percent believe that he could make me cum without even fucking me and this is just... it's a good fucking read.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

their responses are so wonderfully chaotic and adorable and GOD you're missing out if you haven't read these lil blurbs.

─

#harry potter x reader #hermione granger x reader #pansy parkinson x reader #luna lovegood x reader #ginny weasley x reader #draco malfoy x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #cho chang x reader #nymphadora tonks x reader #bellatrix lestrange x reader #ron weasley x reader #fleur delacour x reader #harry potter #fic recs #masterlist #smut #fluff #angst

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morkofday · 3 years

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2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash)

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!)

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x].

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote.

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end.

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D:

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment).

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’)

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more!

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥)

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone!

#tag game #wow this took ages #am sorry am late #thanks for tagging me tho!!#i enjoyed this a lot #about me

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indimlights · 3 years

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✨Merry christmas Cille✨

To: @birthdaysentiment 💛

-> From: @indimlights (Rodrigo)

Hi Cille! I guess it's up to me to kick off this "little" surprise but I don't even know where to start...

I remember really well the first time I saw a post of yours, I was still lurking back then and the moment I read it I felt so many things, things I don't know how to describe and that I never thought words could make me feel and I knew, I just knew that I had to see more. Fast-forward a couple of hours I knew your blog by heart, I had looked at so many of your posts and every single one was as amazing as the first one, as touching as the first one and as deep as the first one.

The meaning you put on words still gets to me every single day, you have such a way into them and don't even get me started on your music analysis. The moment I read the first one I was mind-blown! The things you catch, the connections you make between the music and the scene, the way you describe the scenes, it makes me go back, relive the moment and feel everything I felt the first time I watched it and all this just by... reading your words! If that doesn't tell me how amazing you are with them I don't know what will.

From that day I always wished I could talk to you, get to know the person behind the words, behind the masterpieces, behind the blog because you seemed like such a sweet person and now... After some time, I got that chance and I'm so happy I got it. You are everything I thought you would be and 1000x more, you are sweet, caring, smart, loving, wise, joyful and so supportive to me and to everyone in this community! You always spread love and that's so important and so nice of you to do, the way you write essays in the tags for everyone's posts just shows that! It's such a simple thing but means so much.

And I'm not even mentioning how talented you are with non-written posts because those are on another level aswell, I mean you always surprise me with your ideas and creativity and just knowing that whenever I come here I will have some sort of attack waiting for me just keeps me going and I love everything you do so much.

I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so welcoming when I barely knew anyone and for making me feel so much more comfortable here! Getting to know you better and to share this experience with someone like you has been a blessing and I wouldn't change any second of it, thank you for everything you have done and for always being so sweet to me. I don't understand what I did to deserve all that but that just shows again how wonderful you are.

I'm wishing you a merry christmas! Surrounded by everyone you love and that makes you happy because you deserve that and so much more, please never change, never stop being like this, a special and wonderful person. I hope you enjoy this surprise :) Have a wonderful day Cille 💛

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-> From: @remy3010 (Remy)

Hihi Cille❤ I love your blog so much especially music analysis! I just fall in love with your music analysis since your first posts.

For me whose mother tongue is not English, it takes a while to read but I'd love to. Because these articles deserve more people to see (including me)！

I have read every article of yours, the content touches me all the time. (Sometimes I have a lot of words want to tell you, But I don’t know how to speak in English..sorry🥺so I give❤ and reblog)

Anyway, thank you for writing beautiful words and sharing with us! I hope you can keep this passion forever, and everything go well. May you have wonderful days my friend ❤

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-> From: @franboos (Francine)

hi bb cille,

wanted to tell u that i love u blog and the time u put into analyzing stuff is shhshdhdhdhd. queen shit. u seen so genuine to talk to idk, i get those nice, non judgmental, relaxed and cool vibes from u. lmao. pls stay on tumblr for as long as u can cuz i love ur posts. u notice such little things in clips from wtfock, like u have a very detailed eye miss hehe. i really want to get to know u more cuz i really think we could vibe v well together, and that’s on perioood 😌. i hope u have a great great day while reading this queen. never stop what you’re doing cuz ur great at it. i love you !!

many kusjes and knuffels*,

fran

(*knuffels means hugs but also stuffed animal in dutch, did u know that? otherwise now u do, nice isn’t it)

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-> From: @dagcutie (Pauline)

hey hey cille!!

I must admit i’m very much a fan of you and your blog

first of all, your posts? chefs kiss!! i mean your music analysis are amazing and so on point, your photo edits are always perfect and the colorings are so beautiful, your long text posts 'drabble/headcanon style' are so cute and always makes me so soft and emotional...

your love for black and white? that’s a big yes!! anyways everything you do is perfect!!

also can we take a moment to appreciate your person? i think we can and we must do it..

you’re always so supportive and kind, all the nice tags you let under peoples creations are so sweet!! I also could cry about how cute you are always leaving lovely messages to people inbox or coming randomly to them to say something nice.. you’re the most beautiful soul and a blessing for this fandom!! please never stop being you!! ily a lot, sending you all my love and i wish you an amazing day<3

knus og kys til dig💛✨

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-> From: @allee-sander (Tanya)

Cille, you are an amazing person. you are so kind and loving. every time i see you on my dash, my face lights up. you are a literal angel. you are loved and appreciated, never forget that.

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-> From: @tsjernobyl (Emma)

Cille, you are a genuinely kind and loving soul who's just on this site to talk about the things you love and spread a little joy and everyone can tell that the moment they go onto your blog. i've seen you be nothing but lovely to everyone you interact with and it's a real honor to be mutuals with you and interact from time to time. You are always one of the sweetest and most supportive people here, and i hope you feel that love flowing back to you at all times because you always have my warmest wishes and love!!!!!

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-> From: @dreamaur (Ann)

How does it feel to be so cool and sweet and supportive??? I love you and your mind and how you see so many details and capture them so well with words,,,queen keep going with your top tier analysis and text posts that make me emotional everything single time

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-> From: @annonymannonym (Alice)

Where do I even begin ummm ... well words may not be enough to describe such angelic human being that Cille is but today is about her *about you Cille* !♡! Honestly I’m so so happy and honoured and so grateful to have meet and know you and come along your blog and your amazing posts and edits , let’s s not forget about the masterpiece that your analysis is cuz I live for every single one of them ! Always so on point and touchy and so so emotionally, they give you a whole new perspective and point of view and helps you connect with the person that goes throught those feelings , helping you understand so much deeper the feelings and the emotions he experience in that right moment( so thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking your time and writing these it really shows how much passion and love you put on making these! they absolute helped me to understand and feel much more the meaning behind all these little moments you captured so so well and wonderful ! ) You’re always such a blessing here so lovely friendly so goodhearted and sooo on ... < insert here all the good compliments in the world > cuz they all applies to you ! Know that you’re so special and such a light a sunshine wherever you are and go , you always spread so much positivity and good energy and love and compassion and you support every single people your way comes along with and you shown so much respect and love and understanding ! Always with a wise and thoughtful mind and with the right words at you using them with so much care and mining fullness ! And your blog i love love love it the b&w aesthetic and your love for it owns my heart !! I adore your posts so much ( or ramblings or thoughts as you may call them but know they are so so much more than that its a way of yours to express yourself and open up and pour every feeling you experience and many people found themselves and feel with you , I find myself in them and resonate with them every time ! ahh and your tags that you write in every post are sooo sweet and cute i could read them all day long just coming on your blog and read them makes my day so much better ) they are such a good way to brighten your day and they put a smile on my face whenever i see you on my dash truly a blessing to have you here! Never forget how unique and special human being you are and every one who has you in their lives are very blessed to have you ! Never change being this beautiful inside and out but most importantly inside ! literally a tresure your soul is and must be protected at all cost so take very good care of it ! Don’t forget to always do what makes you happy and gives joy and peace and just you know that good feeling you have in your chest and heart whenever you do something you love and like with passion and joy. I could say so much more but maybe I’ll repeat myself cuz there are never enough compliments to say about how wonderful person you are! you deserve every single one of them ! I really meant every word i said from the bottom of my heart and know that i really apreciate and love all you do and I’ll be here to support you anytime! You deserve the absolute world and more!! love you Cille! ♡ Okey bye✿

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-> From: @robbesdriesen (Bianca)

Cille ~ such a lovely presence to see on my dash always!! Your support towards everyone in the fandom is more than appreciated and so is your love that you continuously aim to spread <3

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-> From: @happilyinsane (Dharaa)

Hey Cille 💕

Just wanted to say that I think you are really sweet and lovely. I see you everywhere on the tumblr. Wanna thank you for keeping this fandom alive during the drought and keep us entertained. I see your tags on people's posts and I always feel like you are so kind and sweet to spend your time appreciating people's work. Doesn't matter if its a photo or an edit or whatever. You are so nice to pay attention to everyone individually. You are such a good friend/mutual, always appreciating and sliding into their asks and just making their day a lil bit better. You definitely bring so many smiles on our faces. I am sure everyone is very thankful to have you in this fandom, I know I am.

I know we haven't interacted that much but thank you for sliding into my asks and giving me an opportunity to interact with you. You are the sweetest, baby. And I hope you like this whole thing that Rodrigo is doing, because you definitely deserve it. Keep lighting up our dashes with your posts, pls. Ilysm 💕

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-> From: @alwaysaneverland (Sarah)

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-> From: @theflowerisblue (Lola)

Cille! You’re such a present part of the tag! You’re always interacting and posting and I love reading what you have to say. Your music analysis are so interesting and I also think you’re really funny! I love your black and white aesthetic and most of all I love how supportive and positive you’re towards everyone!

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-> From: @fvae (Fae)

hi cille!! I'm really glad to have met you through this fandom and I hope you like the surprise!! I loved to read your song analysis because they're always on point and well thought of👌 💯 and your edits!! *chef's kiss*

sending you lots of love and hugs 💕💖💫

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-> From: @embeddedinmybrain (Tasfia)

Hi Cille! You are just a ray of sunshine!! And you are the sweetest and kindest person here. I loved following through with your wtfock music analysis posts bc everything you felt is exactly what I felt. They made me really emotional!! And of course I (and Sarah and Fae) appreciate your tags for moyo season so much. We wait for them and we read them to each other and we just love seeing your reactions to it. Your edits are incredibly amazing too and I love the colouring in them. You are just an amazing sweetheart and I’m so glad to know you 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

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-> From: @veerledejaegers (Soph)

Cille, you are very friendly and sweet, always insightful and seem like an incredibly lovely person that i hope i can get to know better ❤️(also love the black and white aesthetic)

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-> From: @sanderxrobbee (Semri)

Cilleeeeeeeeeeee loml!!!! Merry Christmas to you! I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you get to spend all the holidays in the best way possible! You’re such a blessing to this fandom because you’re talented in every single way, whether it’s your writing or your godly Photoshop skills, oh and let’s not forget your dedication because you’re there all the time to brighten our days and make us smile. I haven’t known you for long, but I truly love and appreciate all you do and I’m grateful that you always take the time to compliment everything and everyone. You have no idea how much it makes me smile when you say my gifs are good because I’ve yet to learn a lot, but you are seriously one of the biggest reasons I haven’t given up the second something got too complicated. Where am I going with this? No idea. Anyway, I adore the fuck out of you and I’m happy to take part in this “project” because you really deserve all the love in the world. Once again, happy holidays!

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-> From: @hopelessromanticvirgo (Elene)

Talking about you Cille is making me always so emotional but I will try my best not to burst out from love and emotions. You’re one of the sweetest person here and I will never get tired of saying that.

We haven’t talked that much directly but I don’t need that to know you’re one of the greatest person here, I just know that for sure. I’m also sure about it because I can see the way you treat people? Even speaking about your tags? Like you take the time out of your day to make sure everybody gets love and everybody gets attention. You make all of us smile and I adore your tags on my stories. You can’t even imagine how many times I have reread your posts about it, like I crave it, I’m in love with it, it makes me feel so happy and so loved and I’m certain that everybody else feels the same way too. You always know how to make everybody’s day better and how to make them feel special.

And please, don’t even get me started on your posts! Your song analysis. Like I know I’ve told you this thousands of times before but I don’t care, I’m saying it again! The way you pictured and described all those songs and scenes!!! Like wow! I’d always reread your posts about that one specific scene after rewatching the season countless of times. (And you also did so many scenes!! I’m in awe and I’m emo from just thinking about it)

Watching clips were different but reading them with lyrics were a whole other thing. I just felt so connected with the whole story and scenes when I’d ready your posts. And connect scenes with the music and it was the best thing ever. Sometimes I still go back and reread some of my favorite posts of yours. I never get tired of it.

And you’re so kind and so sweet that I could write essays about it! Such a blessing to this world! I just love you a lot okay? Everybody needs somebody like you, somebody who shines from kindness and love and people around you must be so lucky who get to meet you everyday and talk to you!

Thank you so much for everything you do, for being you and for making my day better and making me smile every time you reblog my posts or every time I just see your username on my dashboard! It’s such a small gesture but means so much!

Thank you for existing, babe! I hope you’re gonna have a wonderful day! And I’m sending you the biggest hug and my positive vibes! I hope a smile never leaves your face! And I only wish the best things up onto you! I love you! ❤️❤️❤️

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-> From: @itubainaretro (Esther)

Cille, my queen!!! Hi, sweetheart! Just dropping by to say that I hope you’re having a good day, despite the situation that the world is in, and that you’re feeling happy, loved, cherished and warm today, because you’re you and you deserve to feel all the best feelings in the world! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your wishes come true too, because you sure deserve it! Thank you for being this amazing, inspiring, talented and sweet person that you are and that I’ve come to know a little bit in the past few months! I know we don’t exactly talk that much, but I want you to know that I love seeing you, your beautiful edits and your extremely heart warming “moments that live in my head rent free” posts on my dash daily! They all really make my days! Thank you for sharing your posts with us and making this fandom (and the world, honestly) a better place! You’re amazing and I’m really glad I pressed the follow button the day I did when I started following you! I hope this little message makes you smile today, babe! Best wishes and lots and lots of love,

Esther (itubainaretro) ♥️

PS: don’t forget to hydrate yourself, wear a mask and stay safe haha xxxx.

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-> From: @driesendotkom (Marie)

Dear cille,

the reason i‘m writing this is to simply say thank you. thank you for being such a stable part of the fandom. every time i go into the tag i know i will see you there and it makes me smile every time. i can’t tell you how many hours i spent reading every one of your song analysis. even now a year after season 3 ended i find myself going back to them now and then to reminisce and relive those moments all over again.

i also want to say thank you for being such a kind and welcoming person. you care so much about the people you are close to. you are so easy to talk to and you make the people around you feel comfortable instantly. you brought a little bit of hygge into my life and one more time i want to say thank you 💛

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-> From: @driesenrobbe (Becca)

my dear, sweet, cille! you never fail to make me smile and im beyond happy that we became mutuals! im sure i’ve already said this a million times before but you really do have the biggest heart and i couldn’t thank you enough for all the love and support you constantly share to everybody in the wtfock fandom. plus the talent you possess... girllllll i love seeing your edits and reading your posts (honestly your mind is just wowowowow, it’s on a whole other level of incredible and i hope you know just how wonderful you are). also the way you always write entire essays in the tags of other posts... like you really do take the time to make everyone feel so welcomed and loved, and I’m sending you an infinite amount of love and appreciation in return! you really are the sweetest, most caring person who deserves all the happiness in the world, an actual ray of sunshine! i hope you know how loved and cherished you are, and that good vibes are always being sent your way. Many hugs and kusjes, ilysm!!!! <3

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-> From: @mijnlief (Eline)

Dear Cille,

This year has been a weird one, but I do know that it has also been one of the best because of meeting you. In such a short time we became so close, and I am so grateful to have met you during these weird times. We are so alike in many ways and I love that so much. Our Skype conversations are my favorite and the essays you send me about my writing and just about me being me always make me feel happy and loved. You are the kindest and most generous person ever. I hope you know how special you are. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved this year and for choosing yourself in situations where it got hard to make a choice in the first place. I know I tell you that everyday, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again right here. I hope this post makes you smile, because you deserve that so much for just being who you are. You bring happiness to all of my days and I can’t wait to hug you one day soon when everything in the world calms down again. I love you lots! 🧡 Eline

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-> From: @onzeziggy (Laurien)

My sweetest Cille, where do I even begin? I suggest we should just begin from the very beginning and I’m sorry in advance if this is going to be a long, sappy text! But now that I have the chance (shout out to Rodrigo) for saying everything I want, I’m not able to tell you how long this will take.

So Cille, I still remember very clearly the first time I saw your account appearing on my dash. It was a music analysis from one of the songs from season 3. I was so amazed by it, because I could imagine how much time it takes to make it and observe every little detail in a single clip. I immediately fell in love with the concept of it and one week later, when you posted another one, my mouth dropped to the floor. Another music analysis? From the same person? Who is she and how do I become her friend? After that second post, I immediately started following you and became your little fangirl. I don’t lie when I say I was waiting every week for a new update of your incredible music analysis nor when I say I loved every single one of them (and still do). I know I already said this a million times, but your words of telling what was going on in every clip, about the emotions present in them, and how the music blended all of it together… No one, and I mean no one could have done it any better! I will forever be grateful for those posts and I want to thank you once again for wanting to share them and your talent with us!

After the music analysis adventure, your picture edits catched my eye. I love them so so much and I also took some creation of it for making some myself. Still, I was this little fangirl, knowing your name is Cille, but also wanting to know so much more about the person behind one of my favorite blogs. And now, during this hiatus, I can say I’ve got to know you and I couldn’t be any happier about it! Starting with little comments in each other’s tags, having little chats in the comment sections to screaming about a possible drawing of Robbe from Sander on their one year anniversary. And look at us now, reblogging almost every post and writing essays in each other’s tags hahah! Honestly, it keeps me alive during these times and I’m so glad I can do this together with you! I live for your attacks! Aaaah now that I’m talking about an attack, the fact that you have a dimples post ready is making me so excited and I think about it every day! We both know what’s important in love and life and that’s Robbe’s dimples! But this right here shows once again what an amazing sweet person you are! No one on here has ever done anything like this for me before, so I can’t thank you enough for this and all the other things you did and still do for me! And the privilege I have to be able to call you my friend warms my heart <33

I’m going to end this with a little quote Robbe wrote in one of his Instagram posts. When I read it again a couple of days ago, I immediately thought of you and what we’ve been through together the last few weeks :’)) Once again, thank you so much for everything you do for me and for everyone here in this fandom and being the amazing person you are! You deserve the whole world for it!

“Sometimes it’s like we just met yesterday, but other days it seems like I already know you my whole life, I love you Cille!” <33

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I hope you enjoyed this💛 If you didn't know this community loved you yet (and I don't think that was possible), now you definetly do.

Extra: I'd like to thank once again everyone that took part it this surprise, you are all the sweetest for taking some time to write this and to help me with it! Thank you so so much✨

#Surprise!#Cille this is the least you deserve #but I'm so happy I got to do this #with the help of all this sweet people #I'm wishing you (and everyone) an amazing day!#and never forget that...#we all love you!

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quasieli · 3 years

Note

top six: fictional characters that give you gender envy, flowers, little things that make you happy and d&d moments :D

Ooh lotsa questions!

Gender Envy:

1) Bow from She-Ra (2018). Something about buff athletic dude who wears crop tops and is soft as hell is very Gender to me.

2) Vax from Critical Role. Pretty boy, kinda goth rogue? That’s sexy as hell and I wish that was me.

3) In a wildly different idea of gender envy, I’ve been thinking about it lately and @quantum-lesbian’s character in the Frostmaiden game I’m in with them, Ambrose, is Big Gender. Beautiful non-binary drow with a starry and kinda witchy aesthetic that dresses super grandly and ostentatiously no matter the occasion? Yes please.

4) Pete from The Unsleeping City, specifically season two. I adore season one Pete but season two Pete that works in a queer bookshop and has a teapot arcane focus, is artsy and is unapologetically a trans man who doesn’t give a shit about gender roles? Sign me the fuck up.

5) Beau from Critical Role. Buff GNC lesbian mixed with academia, but like academia from the prospective of a grad student with ADHD trying to learn everything about their special interests? A+, I love her and I’m jealous.

6) I’m gonna cheat a lil bit for this last one. I know the prompt is fictional characters, but Julia Lepetit and Jacob Andrews in their Hitman streams? Simultaneously both of them were Gender for me. Jacob esp felt like that for me, which is weird cause dresses can make me dysphoric, but I am also slightly envious of the Dude in a Dress type of gender presentation.

Can you tell that I’m a confused trans masc enby

Gonna put it under the cut from here cause oof, there’s still a lot more.

Flowers:

1) Big slut for Sunflowers, always have been, always will be.

2) Fun fact, my dad’s family used to own a flower shop (in like the 70s, so I never got to see it :(), and one of their big things was hydrangeas. My dad has always loved them and now I love the snowballs too!

3) A recent favorite, the Baker’s Globe Mallow. It’s a type of flower that only grows from the soils of forests that have been affected by wildfires. It’s a simple little flower but I love the idea of something beautiful rising from the ashes after tragedy. A little dramatic, but I’m queer, ofc I’m dramatic.

4) Roses are another important flower to my family (Rose was a family name for a couple generations), and ya know, they’re a classic.

5) There’s this beautiful magnolia tree in front of my house that blooms with the most beautiful white and pink flowers every spring, and it’s one of my favorite things to see every year.

6) There’s so many different types of Lillies and they’re all very pretty, but the Purple Stargazer is prob my favorite.

Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1) My cat, Maddie. She may be a cranky girl at times, but she is also very sweet and will always be my baby (even though she is 12).

2) Not a little thing really, but my best friend. Just getting a sweet/silly text from her or the two of us chilling in a room, sitting in a comfortable silence because we just like being together, nothing better.

3) Baking, esp if I’m doing it for others. I’m not much of a sweets person myself, a little treat every once in a while type person, but I love baking. It’s a very relaxing process for me, even when it can sometimes get stressful, but seeing people enjoying something I made, especially something that brought me great joy to make, is simply the best.

4) In the same sorta vein, crafting and other art, but that’s a bit more personal. I love making things for others, but art, particularly drawing, is something I do more for me. It’s such a great feeling when you can get into a really good art mood and just sink yourself into a project. I love it.

5) My plush toys. Yes, I am a 23 year old, no I will not stop loving my plushies. I just got a few new friends, which I made a post about recently, and they such good cuddle buddies. However, there is one king amongst them all. I have this old, beat up christmas puppy beanie baby, on his tag named Jingle Pup, but I just call him Jingle. I had one version of him since I was like 6, but he currently lives on a shelf cause he is very beaten up and fragile, but his “brother”, who I got when I was 8, is still in kinda good shape and is currently chilling on my chest as I type this lol.

6) Again, not a little thing, but it’s important to mention; D&D. The game itself is such a joy, but truly the best part of it is the people. I love creating stories and memories with people through this weird little game. Truly one of my favorite things to do.

D&D Moments:

These are all gonna be personal moments, rather than anything from actual play shows/podcasts. RC is Reforged Campaign, where I play Saube, and FM is Frostmaiden, where I play Sparks.

1) RC - Meeting Mahety, Saube’s girlfriend. We met her way back in session 12 and we are now up to like session 73. Saube saw her and was immediately big heart eyes at her but also felt a bit awkward and shy. So, being a game a dice, I decided to roll. 10 or higher, Saube would talk to her, 9 or lower, she’d stay put. I rolled a 17, 17 is now a lucky number for me. I love Mahety and I’d die for her.

2) FM - This was an insane fight that should not have been so crazy, but in a fairly early session, my group went up against an angry druid and her awakened animals. So much batshit stuff happened in that fight, and we unfortunately lost our bread loving bard (RIP Agneyis), but one of my favorite combat turns happened in this fight. Our artificer, Omaren, has a robe of useful items and one of the patches on it creates a large pit. Thinking quickly, Omaren tore off the patch, slid it under one of the dire wolves we were fighting and created a looney tunes style pit under it, allowing us to take it out easily via pot shots. Such a clutch move and such a funny visual, especially because the dire wolf kept failing the checks to get out of the pit.

3) RC - Saube’s Zebrith (I will never remember how this actually spelled RIP). So, for context, Saube ended up with a death curse (long story) that mechanically meant they had disadvantage on any death saving throws. Scary as hell, need to get that fixed! So, Saube and their party had to be smuggled into another country to talk with some religious leaders of a goddess known as The First, the goddess of death. They were told that Saube would have to go through the aforementioned ritual, which included her soul leaving her body for a short period of time. During this ritual, her friends had to call back to her, to say things that would bring her back to her body and I still cry thinking about that game. That ritual was not only important for Saube bodily, but spiritually as well. After that ritual, Saube officially became a cleric of The First!

4) A real sappy one, RC - Saube meeting all of her friends. Anyone who follows along with the rantings on my blog probably knows how important this game is to me. I met this random group of strangers on tumblr and formed a D&D party with them and now, a year and a half later, I honestly think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I know that sounds silly and dramatic but not only has this game brought me so much joy and comfort, but I also gained a group of really amazing friends who have been nothing but amazing since day one. As much as Saube knows she can depend on SICL, I know I can depend on my group of weirdos lol. We both love our friends very much and even though we’ve all been through some crazy shit, we wouldn’t change it for the world.

5) RC - Just playing Saube in general. I really didn’t intend for it to be this way, but Saube is very much a reflection of myself. She is the first long term character I have ever played and so much of me is in her. I try not to treat D&D like therapy, because that’s unfair to my DM and fellow party members, but playing Saube has allowed me to work through some of my own problems, especially social anxiety, in a lot safer of an environment. It isn’t so much that I’m asking this game to help me fix my life, but playing out these scenarios that, in the real world, would make me anxious or make me freak out, I can stop, take a moment to breathe and work out these issues in a way that makes sense to me. Playing her has led me to understanding myself a bit better, as well, and that’s truly such a wonderfully unexpected gift from this whole experience.

6) Lastly, a silly one: RC - Getting a crit 6. The last session of this game got real interesting. Saube’s party ended up in the ethereal plane and magic got real fucky there. So, any time any of us tried to cast a spell, we’d roll a d20, not look at the result, and then try to guess what number rolled. The closer to the number, the better the result. A few times, a few people managed to get within like 3 or 4 of their roll, but oh the power I felt when I rolled a 6 (on Saube’s die!) and guessed it correctly! So, not only did the spell (Bless) work, but it worked super well. So instead of getting +1d4 to attack rolls and saving throws, Saube and two other party members got +2d4 to attacks, saving throws and skill checks. So powerful I broke the rules of D&D lmao.

#asks #ask games #floralprintshark #D&D #Flowers #Saube #Sauhety #SICL #Sparks #long post #thanks <3 <3

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moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown · 3 years

Note

You saying mgk did some “ moronic” stuff is so disgusting to. He asked why 13 year old girls were allowed to be “so hot” and said Eminem’s daughter was “hot asf” when she was 15 AND used his half black daughter to justify him sexualizing/degrading black women. And you STILL write about him 😳 you’re crazy . I bet you think you’re some type of ally too. GO TO HELL.

This is long and probably answers non of what you meant but i don’t care. So

Hi, as a survivor of childhood SA,

If you look at my blog I haven’t written about Colson in months. That’s just a note on that.

Second don’t believe in hell, so can’t go there.

I am crazy, 12 times in a psych ward show that so stating facts good for you.

Now did I know he said that about 13 year old girls? No, no I did not, so good to know for me thank you for telling me.

When I say he did moronic things, I mean the shit I knew about, cause wow believe it or not I’m not a mega fan of colson, I like some of his music and find him aesthetically attractive,

Now me being an ally? An ally for what? POC? I am, WOC, I am a women of color, I’m a mixed women, so, hmm I know hard to believe that I’m half Hispanic, Mexican, from chihuahua Mexico to be exact my great grand mother Vera came from Mexico, so, hi I am in fact a women of color, and am an ally to other POC and WOC,

Or an ally for Child Sexual abuse victims? You want the whole story of every time I was sexually assaulted and abused from 9 to 13? Cause I can give ya the whole list of how I was forced to do things and the time a random man came up and humped my side at the park when I was 11? Maybe.

Or an ally for LGBTQ+, WHICH I AM APART OF, hi I’m the A in the full anagram, Asexual not ally so, please tell me how I’m not an ally for communities I’m in, I’ll wait.

Look. Colson is a fucking idiot, is a problematic asshole who needs to never forget he said and did these things that are not okay, that are never going to be okay, but you should remember

People can learn, and if they show active change in how they act and what they say, holy shit it means what? They are learning to not be fucking stupid.

Never once have I defended what he said, I said ‘he said them when he was a fucking dumbass 18-23 year old,” but that’s not defending him thats saying he said that at a time when everyone is objectively the worst people they can be.

Now, do you feel better telling me to go to hell? Does it make you feel like a better person then some 25 year old on the internet who doesn’t give a fuck about what people yell into a void anon ask box. If so, cool, good, glad you feel better.

And again, I haven’t written for MGK or anyone in months, and even when I did I barley wrote about colson, because I’m not a mega fan of him, I like some of his music, and he is aesthetically pleasing to look at. Simple.

So when I say it’s annoying to see people just take a stupid thing he said when he was high ‘I am weed’ and call his whole relationship with someone a joke and embarrassing, its cause I find it, annoying. Simple.

#ask #anon #anon ask

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sevensav--d-archived · 3 years

Text

@knifelizard sent 🔥 🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

**Okay so to preface this, these are MY bad takes and MY pet peeves, and I am just ONE person so please don’t take anything I say to heart bc what the fuck do I know, I’m nobody.

🔥 Formatting makes RP so much harder for me. Like, five years ago this shit wasn’t around, I stg. At least not in the rpcs was in. I have trouble reading small fonts, and FOLKS THEY ARE JUST GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER like If I have to copy and paste your text into a dang word doc and up the size, I’m probably not going to want to keep writing with you! It’s too much work!!! Icons too, those are getting so dang tiny and like, more power to you if your eyes can understand, but with small sizes on top of psds that more often than not degrade the image, I can barely tell what I’m seeing.

The thing is, I understand that doing formatting is some of the fun for roleplayers, so I take it all with a grain of salt. Not everyone has the same beef with their eyes as me. BUT, there’s a big ol’ problem with a sense of elitism that comes with ~formatting~ in rpcs. I have noticed it pretty much first hand, since my formatting pretty much ends at cutting and trimming my posts. I shouldn’t have to force myself to take even MORE time on my posts in order to be noticed and taken seriously as a roleplayer. I literally HAVE changed the way I do certain things just to fit in with more of the RP trends, and I ended up stopping doing a lot of them because they took too much time and they just suck the fun out of it for me. Other folks, do it, go ahead, have fun. But it really grinds my gears when I’m made to feel like I’m not as good at the whole RP thing because I don’t do extra formatting. I should be judged on my writing and dangit, I think my writing is pretty good, apart from the spelling mistakes I make.

Even simple shit like, making new posts for asks- That’s a GREAT development, I love it but FUCK it makes me tired and sometimes I just don’t wanna do it but I KEEP doing it because literally everyone else does it.... AND THAT SUUUUUCKS like let me live please I already have a hard time writing please don’t pressure me into taking the time to make a complicated theme and making my posts more ~aesthetically pleasing~ when I’m just here to read! I just wanna read!!!!!!!! :(((((((((((

Anyway long story short, It only slightly bugs me when people format a ton, bc it’s inconvenient for me- but I can work with that bc I want other people to have fun. It’s when MY fun is in jeopardy bc I don’t wanna put in the extra work, THAT’S when I get a bit!!! Miffed!!! Phew. Okay, moving on.

🔥 MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS until your mental health makes you do something that I don’t like then you’re just toxic and a bad person, OR it doesn;t matter bc you’re not popular. Like. Bruh. BRUH. I’m gonna expose myself a bit here and state that there have been times on my blogs where I am like. Teetering on the edge of collapse, and I’m not only crying for help, I’m strapping a neon sign to my face saying “I NEED TO BE TALKED TO OR ELSE I WILL JUST NOT COME BACK” and literally???? Crickets.

Like my feelings have been hurt so many times, by so many people in this rpc that I’m just floating on a sea of amicability waiting for people to cut me off from them bc I’m so desperate for attention or I’m so clingy but god forbid, if someone with a really popular blog pulls the same shit as me, it’s positivity city. I could go on about how inbox positivity irks me, but I know that a lot of people really do enjoy getting it. I just wish I didn’t always have to see it when I’m barely hanging on and begging for a little love but feeling like no one sees me or cares. It’s like being really hungry and watching someone get fed by a bunch of other people.

I’M JEALOUS! I AM A PERSON WHO GETS JEALOUS it’s a whole dang part of how my mental illness processes itself in my pea brain noggin!!! Jealousy is an UGLY emotion and it makes you do SHITTY things. I am VERY aware of this fact and I’m making efforts to call attention to my needs in a healthier way but dang dang dang is it hard to do that a lot of the time when you see other people getting away with literally the exact same behavior. Like???????? Ugh. UGH! I’m tired.

“Just leave the RPC bones” WHY DO I HAVE TO GO? Why is it that the only way I can get anyone to even glance in my direction is to have my much more popular than me best friend call attention to my needs (love them very much btw) but seriously. SERIOUSLY. This RPC needs to reflect a bit on how they handle people with “the wrong” kind of mentally ill. Not every adhd or depressed roleplayer is the same. Stop. Treating them. Like. They are. And stop! Ignoring! The people who are hurting! Jeez! It’s more than just anxiety go brrr or depression go brrr for some people, this is like. All we fucking have. And losing it could be really bad for some people.

Anyway, I know this particular subject is really touchy and nuanced and whatever but I’ve been in enough RPCs to recognize when there’s a problem.

If you can’t take someone’s mental health, like if they are too much for you, TELL THEM there’s a pretty good chance they’re aware that they’re a lot to handle, and will either try to be better, or will accept your decision and move on. Don’t maintain ‘friendships’ if you’re not actually going to maintain them, you’re just going to hurt someone when they think they can rely on you, but they really can’t. You don’t owe that to anyone, but you shouldn’t dangle it in front of someone only to take it away when you don’t want to deal with the negative side effects of someone’s mental illnesses. And LETS BE REAL IF YOU RP YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME SHIT so I think we ALL could learn to be more empathetic. Talk to people, if you can. If you can’t?????? I hope you’re doing okay.

UGH.

Okay. Alright, I got that out. Those were two big ones that have been eating at me for literally months.

If you don’t like what I’m saying, please do nooooot bother trying to make me feel shitty about how I feel. I already feel shitty for feeling this way! These opinions are unpopular, I do not expect anyone to be on my very specific, very mean page.

#**salty bones #**yartz all over the screen #long post

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wolfpawn · 4 years

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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 129

Chapter Summary - After time apart and Tom's dancing around something, the pair are reunited, but Tom still cannot spit it out. When he accidentally nearly causes an accident, Danielle has had enough.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

Tom was worn out. He had not slept well with Danielle gone and was anxious to talk to her on her return. He turned the car into the driveway and pressed on the break, startled to see Danielle’s car parked there. Frowning, he was certain she said she would be home at the weekend. He parked up and let the dogs out, both immediately going to her car and sniffing it, Mac marking it before going to the door. Tom let them in and allowed them to search for Danielle, but she was nowhere to be seen downstairs. The washing machine was finishing a cycle, telling him she was home with at least an hour. He made sure the dogs were tended to before heading up the stairs to see if she was there. His confirmation came when he opened the door, to see Danielle on the bed in nothing but his workout t-shirt and a pair of lace panties, asleep on the bed.

He walked over and gently placed his hand on her back. ‘Elle?’

‘Hmm.’

‘Hello, sweetheart.’

‘Tom?’

‘Who else were you expecting?’

‘What...time…?’

‘Nearly five.’

‘Shit.’

‘How long are you home?’

‘Since half three.’ She stretched and forced herself up, wiping some moisture from her mouth as she tried to get herself to wake up. ‘I put on the wash and came up here to get a shower.’

‘That did not work.’

‘I am just so tired.’

‘I know.’ Tom acknowledged. ‘I missed you.’

She smiled. ‘I missed you too.’ She leant forward and kissed him, which he reciprocated before pressing his lips more against her. ‘I see what you missed.’ She smiled as he growled, getting her to lay back more on the bed before leaning over her. ‘Does a girl get to wash first?’

‘No point. I will have you hot and bothered again in minutes, if you got to wash in the first place.’ he dismissed, relishing having her back after two weeks apart.

‘What will we do when you go away for Infinity War or start filming more?’

‘We may have to reconsider the no phone sex issue.’

‘Not happening.’ She giggled as his hands went under the top to her breasts, which were not restricted by a bra. ‘Tom.’ She gasped as he toyed with them, her body all but trained to react to his actions.

‘I love you.’ He whispered as she undid his pants and pulled down his boxers. Danielle pulled back slightly, looking at him. ‘You know that, right?’

‘Yes,’ She nodded, seeing that it was merely him voicing his feelings in a moment of excitement and passion. ‘Love you too.’ He kissed her more aggressively at that before pressing against her, her underwear barely moved out of the way.

‘Behave.’ Danielle chastised as she waited for the kettle to boil, Tom gently pressing his lips to her neck as she did, his arms snaking around her waist. ‘I have beard rash from you.’

‘Do you not like it? The way you seemed to all but nip my jaw earlier made me think…’ He ceased to speak as she did it again. ‘So you do like it?’

‘Yes. very much so.’ She turned and kissed him again before pulling back and looking into his eyes. ‘You’re wearing your glasses now, you’re not reading anything.’

‘I went to the opticians not too long ago, I need to wear them more now, I am getting old.’

‘I like them on you.’ Danielle confessed, not for the first time. ‘They make you look distinguished.’

Tom smiled while looking at her lovingly. ‘I think I could shave myself bald and you would still say you like me.’

‘Because I love you, you dorky, sweet, loving man. I find you aesthetically appealing, yes, I won’t deny that; you see how I look at you, but I love you, entirely. I said it before, in a tracksuit in a council flat, with crappy tattoos and a beer belly, I would still love you for how you make me smile, for how incredible it is to have you.’

Tom swallowed. ‘Elle?’

‘Yes?’

‘I want to ask you something.’ She said nothing but showed he had her undivided attention. ‘Do you want to go out tonight?’

Danielle knew it was not the original question, but seeing Tom was trying to edge his way towards it, she did not push it. ‘Yeah, sure. What have you in mind?’

Tom could see the disappointment in her eyes, but it was quickly dismissed with her genuine smile. ‘I was thinking we could keep it simple, The Old Forge, maybe?’

‘Yeah, sounds like a plan, let’s get the boys sorted and head.’ She took his hand in hers, and though his hand was far bigger, she squeezed it gently and smiled the same loving smile she gave him when she wanted to try and express her love to him. ‘Come on.’

The meal was simple enough, solid British dinner that Danielle enjoyed joking was similar, yet inferior to Irish food and they spoke of their work.

‘So it was a washout?’ Tom asked as he ate.

‘Yeah, the whole place is flooded, it was too dangerous to continue.’

‘But it was supposed to be wet?’

‘Yes, but after the wires were set, not during it. It was too risky, so we will have to get it sorted ASAP.’

‘So when do you have to go back?’ There was clear disappointment in his voice.

‘Not until next Thursday at least. They have to wait for it to dry out before they do the wiring, then we can test it for safety, it’s a pain. Do you want me to bring the dogs with me or just Mac, or anything?’

‘I guess, if you are wanting to bring him, Bobby is too young yet I think.’

‘But dividing them, are we implying you and I are not as together on this as we are?’ Danielle countered, though she was more thinking aloud more than anything. ‘It’s awkward. I guess…’

Tom’s ears perked slightly at whatever she was thinking. ‘What?’

‘Nevermind.’ Danielle dismissed.

‘No. Tell me, please.’

Danielle’s brow rose slightly, but not wishing to start a conversation on whatever was bothering Tom, she went with her own thoughts. ‘You all can come with me? It’s only two days, I am not sure if you are used to caravans, but….’

‘How long for?’

‘Thursday and Friday. I am sure Branagh would not mind. We can check with him?’ She offered, clearly liking the idea of him being there.

‘Just let me check if I am needed for anything here.’ Tom smiled, elated that she wanted him there.

After that, the conversation became more animated after that, Tom having to cover his mouth more than once to laugh as Danielle told him a few stories regarding the madness of the set while he regaled her of the attempts at claymation he had with Eddie and Maisie, the manner in which she paid attention to him not being missed by him.

When they got into the car and began to drive home, Tom thought over his question in his head. He wanted to ask her so badly but was terrified of ruining this, their relationship was everything he knew he wanted from life, Danielle was an independent person who saw a relationship as something to add to her life and seemed, to Tom, to genuinely enjoy just pleasant conversation and small tokens of affection. Even their trip to Italy, she seemed more interested in spending time in bed curled against him talking than anything else. He was petrified of losing it all.

‘Tom!’ Snapping out of his head, he realised he was about to go through a red light and slammed on the brake.

‘Shit! Are you okay?’

‘Me? I’m fine, what the hell is wrong with you?’ Danielle was staring at him. ‘Where was your head?’

‘I was thinking about something and I got sidetracked.’ He confessed.

‘Pull in as soon as you can safely, okay?’

Terrified as to what she would say or do, Tom did indeed do as she requested and pulled into a loading bay.

‘Get out.’ She ordered. Again he obeyed, watching as she did the same and walked around the car, taking his keys from him and sitting in the driver’s seat before getting it to shift forward enough for her far shorter frame to hit the pedals. ‘Get in.’ She ordered, again and again, he obeyed, getting into the passenger side. As soon as the doors were closed, she got them back into traffic again and headed back to Belsize. ‘What was that about?’ She asked calmly.

‘I got thinking.’

‘Yes, you said. What was so important to your head that you did not think about the fact you are driving, you could have hurt someone.’

‘I know, I just...started thinking about us and I forgot.’

‘Tom, that is not a good excuse. I am still here to think about tonight, don’t be the reason someone else doesn’t go home to someone they care for.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Danielle took her hand off the steering wheel and put it on his on his lap as he had done with her before. ‘I just…’

‘Are human, it happens.’ She smiled kindly. ‘Just please don’t do it when driving.’

‘Always on safety mode.’ Tom smiled.

‘It’s not something I can turn off.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess that is why I am good at my job. So what has you all floostered?’

‘Floostered?’

‘Flustered, bothered, out of sorts.’

‘I am just thinking about us, how much I enjoy your company, how I can’t believe how much my life has changed in the last year for the better because of you.’

Danielle smiled at him again, but said nothing more, knowing that it was whatever had been bothering him of late, but while she was driving was not the time to discuss it.

When they got home, they tidied up a little, since Bobby had seen fit to play around in their absence and had caused a slight mess. Once that was tidied, Danielle inhaled and decided to deal with the situation. ‘Tom?’ She called out, going into the living room.

Tom, who had been looking at the shelves trying to decide which book to read next, looked around for her. ‘Yes?’

‘Can I ask you something?’

Tom immediately suspicious there was something serious about her question from her tone. ‘Yes?’ When she stood on the other side of the room to him, he knew his suspicion was correct. ‘Elle?’

‘I have to ask, what’s going on, Tom? You’re not you recently. And tonight has actually scared me, you never lose focus on what you are doing, so I know something is really bothering you to say that you did that.’

Tom sighed. ‘It’s not…’

‘Tom, don’t bullshit me, please.’

‘I have wanted to ask for a small while now, and I am not stupid, I know my not saying anything has added a slight barrier in my talking to you.’

‘Tom, you’re dawdling.’

‘Right...I…’ He walked over to her. ‘I’m scared.’

Danielle frowned, not expecting him to admit such a thing. ‘Talk to me. I am not going to leave you for something silly.’

‘But this is big.’

‘We can work through it.’

‘But I could lose you.’

‘How? ‘Did you cheat?’ He shook his head, his eyes telling her that it was true. ‘Then what did you do that would make you think that?’

‘You…’

‘Talk to me, Tom. We are adults. Not talking nearly ruined us back in February, please don’t risk us for something silly.’

‘I...Elle?’ He looked at her worriedly, showing her he was scared of her reaction while Danielle was terrified there was something terrible coming her way. ‘Please don’t…’ He inhaled deeply and looked her in the eyes. ‘I love you, so much. And this past year has shown me, just how incredible you are, on every level and I hope it remains that way. You really do bring a light to my life that I cannot express my gratitude for. You are incredible. And when we went public, and since then, you have been so understanding and good and I could not ask for more.’ Danielle gave another small smile. ‘But I wanted to ask you something.’

‘Okay.’

‘I am being such a fool, I know I am, but I am terrified it is not something you would want and it will cause a wedge between us.’

‘Tom, please, just spit it out.’

‘I want to start smaller, see if you feel it’s okay or you want to stay away completely.’

‘Okay?’

‘It’s smaller than others.’

‘Tom, please tell me what you are on about.’

‘Will you go to the Early Man premier with me?’ He asked fearfully.

‘Yeah, wait that is what all this was about, Early Man? I went to Kong already, how is this a thing?’

‘Because this time….I want you to come with me.’

‘I...Oh.’ Danielle realised what he was asking exactly. ‘I see.’

‘It’s smaller than most other premieres, you said you were not sure if you could do it, but I...I wanted to see if you could. I want you there.’

‘Okay, I will see if I can.’ She smiled encouragingly. ‘I just need to make sure I am not needed for something important, if not. We can try it.’

‘You seem apprehensive.’ Tom noted.

‘I am scared, yes. I won’t deny that, but it matters to you, and you’re right, start smaller, work up. I know I could not just start at something like Infinity War or even Ragnarok, this is smaller.’ She put her arms around him. ‘This has caused all this stress?’

‘I was scared you would see it as the step too far, that I would ruin us.’

‘We have gone through a lot in the past few months with work, a dog, the public, we won’t crumble because of a suggestion, Tom. Please have more faith in me.’

‘I just don’t want to push you away.’

She went on the balls of her feet. ‘Not gonna happen.’

#I Hate You I Love You #chapter 129 #wolfpawn #Tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston

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psychicnymph · 5 years

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what happened to aphroditedolan?

hi everyone. i’m here to address the questions that i know many of you will ask. my sudden departure from the dolan twins fandom was not an entirely impulsive decision, so i’m here to explain.

first and foremost, i deactivated because of the sheer amount of blatant, cruel, and unacceptable disrespect i endured while writing for fun and for free. i would spend hours, upon days, upon weeks, upon months working on projects and i still got this disrespect. people were critical of my appearance, my strong-willed and passionate nature, the way i presented myself online -- but, amazingly, never of my writing. see, truth be told, arrogance in tote, my writing is phenomenal. it was rare that you’d catch a spelling or grammatical error (which is a direct result of my educational privilege, i recognize), each plot was well thought-out, each descriptor would bring the scenery, the characters, the erotic scenes to life; you name it, i took the time to near-perfect it. i wrote, edited, sometimes went as far as rewriting -- my point is, i was dedicated.

a few weeks ago, i even took the time to completely reorganize my blog; i gathered and linked all the small concepts & blurbs i wrote and put them into a masterlist, on top of updating my fic masterlist to be more aesthetically pleasing, cleaner, and editing pictures myself to put them on both masterlists. i did this because i was excited to continue the two short series which i had started: Let Me Get That For You and A Girl is a Gun. additionally, i had ideas, WIPs, and other projects i was planning and writing for that i couldn’t wait to embark on -- and then, it was like something changed in the fandom.

well, i suppose i can’t say changed. let’s say more like... got exponentially worse.

from the very beginning, there were two types of people who i noticed in the twins’ tumblr fandom: there were those who earned their numbers, and there were those who preached ideas of entitlement. there was also a hierarchy: big blogs, and small blogs. it was like a caste system of its own kind. i’d like to discuss this for a brief moment.

when i first started writing, i was absolutely nobody in the fandom. i wasn’t on other platforms, i hadn’t been a stan for very long, i didn’t know anybody -- the tumblr fandom was where i wanted to start and, for the most part, ended up staying. i mention this because at the time of aphroditedolan’s deletion, i was considered a “big blog.” how did i go from small to big, then? if it’s a caste system, how could i have transitioned?

the answer is simple. the system you all created doesn’t exist. in this fandom, you are either entitled or you are talented, and that’s about it.

i never sat around begging people to like, reblog, or read my work, and i never pleaded for followers. i got them because i put out good, consistent, beautiful writing. i interacted with people, i wrote for prompts, i reached out and cultivated friendships, i did what i went to tumblr to do: write and be part of a community that loved the dolan twins. that’s it. the numbers came through hard work, dedication, and most of all, earning every one of them.

no one on this earth or any other is entitled to likes, reads, reblogs, comments, kind words, attention, followers, or anything of the sort. yes, everyone deserves those things; no, you shouldn’t just get them. you should strive to earn these things. and honestly, while i think everyone is deserving of a chance, not everyone is cut out to be a writer. not everyone is made or meant for this art. because it’s an art. it’s a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. you can’t just sit down and bang out some writing. you absolutely must be dedicated and passionate about it if you ever want a taste of being successful. and that’s just it; some of you are doing this for the wrong reasons. you do it for the numbers. numbers do not fucking matter. they aren’t even real. it’s just a count of people who have physically interacted with your post, or people who actually decided to follow you.

everyone deserves to have their craft appreciated, but when you just start writing for the attention you think it’ll get you, that’s not a craft. that’s you doing the things you see others doing because you see the attention they get and you want a piece of that for yourself. it’s a shitty, horrible motive. and then, when it’s obvious that writing isn’t your strongest talent or even a genuine passion of yours, you whine about some system that isn’t fair, you create something to blame for your lack of success -- of course, it must be the bigger blogs.

i’m proof that that just isn’t true and y’all are lying to yourselves. in less than a year, i ended up with 4k followers and extremely successful pieces. again, because i earned it. through time, effort, and dedication, i earned it.

another thing that came with the culture of entitlement in the fandom was people being self-pitying in order to evoke guilt in their audience, so that people would go and tell them, no, your writing is so good, keep it up. they did it as a means of getting the attention they hadn’t earned. people got into the habit of trying to use me for more attention. they would feign friendliness, interest in my blog, etc., all to say, hey, can you check out my writing and reblog it?

i don’t fuck with that shit. it’s a huge part of why i had to turn my submissions off and my messages off from people i didn’t follow. i don’t like people who only care about numbers and want to use me for more numbers. it was beyond disrespectful that people thought i couldn’t see what they were trying to do; honey, manipulation is a skill just like any other, and i’m better at it than you are. don’t try it on me.

besides the overly-entitled, suffocating people who would shit on, criticize, and blame others for their low numbers which resulted from their sheer lack of effort and self-awareness (and by this i mean actually stopping to question 1. what is your motive here and 2. is what you’re producing actually good or is it slapped together messily?), there was also the culture of feedback to the writer from the audience.

it was rare that i’d get any other response on my writing besides “part 2?” “more?” “part 2 plzzzz” “you need to update this” and etc.

how many times is the writing community gonna have to say that those comments aren’t helpful, kind, supportive, constructive, or ANYTHING besides annoying? they’re demanding. they push the idea that they just want more of the same ol’ shit. even after i made it blatantly clear on more than one occasion that i don’t take requests and would not be adding a part 2 to something unless it was upon my own discretion, there were still constant, never-ending, tireless requests for more, or requests in general. it was frustrating and infuriating. i was so tired of repeating myself. and when i stopped repeating myself and started linking people to asks or my FAQ where i had already answered that question, people wanted to act like i had an attitude. people gave me endless grief that i was a bitch, aggressive, had a shitty attitude; no, babe. i just wasn’t tolerant of poor treatment. you should try to start adopting this attitude for yourself. respect yourself and know your worth. it’s really as simple as that.

when the biphobic comments rolled around, i’d had enough. it’s when i decided to take my break, truly because i was furious (as i had every right to be) and because that whole situation made me not want to write at all. all my passion and motivation to finish projects i’d been so excited to do for you guys went out the window. it’s sad that y’all pushed me over the edge this way. i gave it time, i let the wounds heal, i let the anger fade, and i started an official hiatus to do this. i’m also in school again, which meant i’d be less active anyway, and it felt like a good idea to just put some distance between myself and the tumblr fandom. but the distance has only solidified the feeling that i’m just not appreciated as much as i deserve to be. and i don’t mean in numbers. i mean for the amount of effort i put in to get constant backlash on things that don’t even have to do with my writing, to work so hard only to be pissed the fuck off, to dedicate so much time and energy to a group of people only for y’all to erase my identity, send me hate, try to act big and tough and like you’re the shit behind anonymous... i’m good luv, enjoy.

there are also other factors; truths about some of the people in the fandom that are idolized, the constant plagiarism of my work, the overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with keeping up with my blog like it was a job, among other things that i don’t care to elaborate on.

so that’s it. i got tired of the same old shit and i know i deserve better. below, i’ll answer some questions that i think some people may be left with:

are you and luna still dating?

yes. for the last time, yes. we are dating. we are a couple. we love each other. we are in a long distance relationship and we are actually dating. not like two besties pretending to date because it’s quirky -- we are actually. fucking. dating. and no, nothing happened between us to make me make this decision. we are doing great.

are you gonna write ever again?

in my life? yes. for the twins, in this fandom, or on this platform? fuck no.

are you still a fan of the twins?

yes! oh my god, probably always. no matter where they go or what they pursue, i’m there with them. they have made my life better, and i have a lot to thank them for. i’ll just be enjoying their content from alllllllllll the way over here.

are you gonna be blogging about the twins?

not at all. in fact, i don’t even follow rockstardolan because i’m keeping my dash away from all of that. i’m not following any dt related blogs. i’m gonna do my thing over here, and love the twins in private, on my own terms.

why did you delete all your writing?

in truth, after everything, i don’t even want it to remain there. i essentially wanted to erase my contribution and my footprint on this fandom. plus, having my writing just out and about, having already been plagiarized so i’m sure you can find some things in various illegal wattpad compilations, makes me worry about more people doing that. i wanted to keep that damage to a minimum. so yeah, they’re gone forever.

what about your friends, people you interacted with, etc?

the people who matter will stay in touch. there are some people i’ve cut out from my life for good because they’re toxic and quite frankly i just don’t like them. i’m done subjecting myself to people i don’t even fucking like for the sake of keeping others happy. but, the good friends who respected me, treated me well, etc, they’ll reach out when they can. i’d say i encourage it, but i have a lot on my plate as is and have a hard enough time keeping up with things in the real world, let alone things online. there’s still love there, i’m just keeping a safe, healthy distance and doing what’s best for me.

if you have other questions, you can feel free to ask, but i’m really not in the market for new friendships. it’s not that time in my life. i literally cannot handle more than what i’ve got on my plate, and i’m keeping my priorities in order. i don’t care if you think i’m rude, if you think i’m a bitch, if you think i’ve got a bad attitude, if you think i’m a piece of shit, if you’re angry, if you’re sad, even if you’re gonna miss me -- this is for me. i’m letting this out as a big, fat fuck you to the things and people that ruined my experience on aphroditedolan, and as an explanation for the few people who deserve it.

take care of yourselves. do the things that make you happy. don’t tolerate things that don’t make you happy. do no harm, take no shit, and most importantly,

stan the FUCKING dolan twins.

signed,

daniella/dani/aphroditedolan, however you have known me.

#aphroditedolan #what happened to aphroditedolan?#personal #an update

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imagines-mha · 5 years

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Class 1-A theme songs part 2 (plus lyrics)

Mina Ashido: Girls Just wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper

Honestly it’s just an absoloute bop and i want it to play in the background while she’s defeating some villains n shit. She’s just so fun and full of joy and positivity it fits her super well

“I wanna be the one to walk in the sun

Oh girls they wanna have fun”

“When the working day is done

Oh, girls—they wanna have fun

Oh, girls just wanna have fun”

Aoyama Yuuga- Shiny- Moana

OKAY. But it’s just him. Like the whole song: the confidence, the beauty, the french. It’s aoyama’s song

“Well, Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam

I was a drab little crab once

Now I know I can be happy as a clam

Because I'm beautiful baby”

“Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough

Strut my stuff, my stuff is so shiny”

“C'est la vie mon ami, I'm so shiny”

Shouji Mezo- Here Comes the Sun- the Beatles and Nina Cried Power- Hozier

Yall. Idk if u guys uhhh,,, know this from the blog. But i love him. So i gave him 2 songs 😎

I chose the first song mainly cus hes a sunshine he just seems like a beatles kinda guy, like he’d listen to this song a lot and it cheers him up hes so soft and positive

“Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

And I say it's all right”

The second one is SUCH a powerful song and i feel like he would LOVE hozier too, plus the lyrics suit him

“It's not the wall, but what's behind it

Oh, the fear of fellow man, it's mere assignment

And everything that we're denied

By keeping the divide

It's not the waking, it's the rising”

“And I could cry power

Power has been cried by those stronger than me

Straight into the face that tells you

To rattle your chains if you love being free”

Koji Kouda: Talk to Me- Cavetown

Ok sweet boy. Cavetown would be his SHIT don’t tell me otherwise- plus he only talks sometimes but when he does its precious.

“You don't have to be a hero to save the world

It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself”

“You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don't have to know what to say or what to think”

“Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep

Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams

It's so dark tonight but you'll survive certainly

It's alright, come inside, and talk to me”

Ojiro Mashirao: Everybody’s Changing- Keane

Honestly i got real stuck on this one. I didn’t wanna be cliché and go for the old kung fu fightin from kung fu panda, but i almost had to folks 😤 but i feel like the sound of this song is just something he digs. Just gave me Ojiro Vibes

“So little time

Try to understand that I'm

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game”

“But everybody's changing

And I don't feel the same”

Sato Rikido: Dancing in the Moonlight- Toploader

Ok sugar by robin schulz is HIS SONG alongside sugar rush from wreck it ralph but i wanted to be original. This song gives me mad sato vibes like the tune of it, the vintage vibe, just imagine it playing during summer when he’s bringing cupcakes out to the garden to 1-a and he feels so contented with his life and his friends it’s an aesthetic

“Dancing in the moonlight

Everybody's feeling warm and bright

It's such a fine and natural sight”

“We like our fun and we never fight

You can't dance and stay uptight

It's a supernatural delight

Everybody was dancing in the moonlight

Hagakure Tooru: Shake It Off- Taylor Swift

She’s a girly girl at heart and she LOVES this song. It makes her feel good, because she sometimes feels kinda insignificant to be in 1-A but when she hears this it cheers her up 100% and makes her feel like herself again

“But I keep cruising

Can't stop, won't stop moving

It's like I got this music

In my mind

Saying, "It's gonna be alright”

“I never miss a beat

I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don’t see

I'm dancing on my own

I make the moves up as I go

And that's what they don't know

Momo Yaoyorozu: Uptown Girl- Billy Joel

Lmao this just fits her so wellllll. It’s so vintage, but it just captures her whole rich girl self perfectly

“You know I've seen her in her uptown world

She's getting tired of her high class toys

And all her presents from her uptown boys”

“You know I can't afford to buy her pearls”

Jirou Kyoka- SING- My Chemical Romance

Simple: It’s emo, she loves to sing, and it just fits her whole perspective on being a hero and captures her passion for it.

Sing it out

Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs”

“Sing it for the boys

Sing it for the girls

Every time that you lose it sing it for the world

Sing it from the heart

Sing it till you're nuts

Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts

Sing it for the deaf

Sing it for the blind

Sing about everyone that you left behind

Sing it for the world”

Mineta Minorou: Clown song- Dumbo

Because he’s a clown. That’s all.

#my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #mha headcanon #mha theme songs #mina ashido #shouji mezo #sato rikido #aoyama yuuga #hagakure tooru #momo yaoyorozu #jirou kyouka #ojiro mashirao #min*eta #koda koji

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julius-scaeva · 4 years

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A couple of days ago I made this point on main. As you can see, it didn’t become very popular, BUT it’s still something I feel very strongly about (and yes, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I’m biased), so I decided that I had something to say. (Obviously: HUGE spoilers for Darkdawn). Also, bring with you pop-corns, you’re here for a ride (there’s a tiny TL;DR at the end btw).

Let’s start by saying that I adore backstories in books. It’s my favorite kind of fanfiction to write and to read, I’m always glad when an author decides to give us flashbacks about a minor character, and I adore looking for little hints in a character’s behavior to get to know them better.

The explanation for this is pretty simple: I firmly believe that how we are heavily depends on what experiences we’ve come in contact with. I don’t think that our identity is solely based on experiences, but I also think that backstories are often more important than someone might think when considering a story.

I love when an author gives a minor character a voice because they are taking into account that everyone is the protagonist of their own story, everyone has had their personal character development, and, even though they can’t give a proper place for everyone to shine, they still can make us understand that these characters exist, in some way.

This is one of the reasons why I love the Villains series by V. E. Schwab and this is one of the main reasons why I loved The Nevernight Chronicle: almost (emphasis on almost) every character Mia (and therefore the reader) comes in contact with has a story to tell and Jay Kristoff makes sure we know that. That we know what has brought them to the point they are.

This is especially super important in a story that takes place in a country like Itreya where violence and prevarication seem, most of the time, the only options: if you give me a story that is meant to be super bloody and filled with morally questionable people, but then don’t make sure we understand why those people act in that way I won’t be impressed. I will only be extremely bored.

Itreya is a country that deeply influences people’s decisions simply because they often lack the opportunity to see that there’s another way: think about Furian, and how the meeting with the priest changed his life forever. Or about Ashlinn, about how she only knew vengeance before meeting Mia (and her father, how traumatizing had to be for him being imprisoned and tortured all those months). Or about Leona, who is surely deeply flawed and selfish, but is also scarred from an extremely traumatic experience from her childhood. Or about Jessamine, Hush, Carlotta, Corleone all characters we don’t really follow for a lot of time, but we have a little window opened for us and we get a small look in why they became who they are. (Ps: we don’t know shit about Cassius either and this pisses me off too, especially because we had Eclipse RIGHT THERE but that’s off the point I’m trying to make here. Just... if you ever plan to write something about him, let me know, okay?)

And, this is also essential, it doesn’t work only for the kids: like I’ve already said, characters like Furian, or Leona, or Corleone, or Ashlinn’s father are essential because we’re shown that this systemic use of violence and injustice isn’t something that screwed up only the last generation, but is deeply rooted in the very core of Itreya.

After all, what can you expect from a country born from a father killing his own child?

And then we come to the main antagonists.

Let me say this straight: there are villains, in The Nevernight Chronicles as well as in other stories, that don’t need backstories. Not ever single villain in a story needs to be super well developed or super interesting: there are some people who are just... shitty. And that’s all. Because that’s how the world works. There are people who are violent, who are cruel, simply because they can. Example: we don’t know anything about Leonides or Duomo, we only know how their actions scarred and influenced other characters. There’s nothing spectacular about them, nothing stands out: they are two men using their strength and power to abuse vulnerable people close to them. There’s nothing interesting, nothing even remotely alluring, nothing that captures my interest in a man beating his wife to death in front of his daughter or in an another man using his power to abuse young children to the point of one of them committing suicide. They are meant to be seen as disgusting. They are meant to be seen as monsters. They are meant to be seen as the embodiment of the extreme privilege that touches so few people in the Republic and causes oh so much damage. I don’t want to read about them. I never will. It would be the equivalent of reading about Donald Trump. (You can fight me on this comparison)

And then we come to the actual point of what I’m trying to say: I was extremely disappointed, up until Darkdawn, that we didn’t get any sort of background for the components of the Red Church and I was glad we had little snippets with some information about them (especially, especially Drusilla. She and Mercurio had more chemistry than half of the main couples I’ve encountered in books). We also had some kind of information about Solis too (more or less). But... what about Aalea? Spiderkiller? Mouser? Are we just supposed to believe they appeared out of nowhere, already assassins and murderers and completely corrupted by money and gold?

Are we supposed not to have sympathy for them just because they are villains?

Because, if that’s the case, it pisses me off to no end.

And I wouldn’t even be mad about this, like I said, if it hadn’t been made clear that backstories ARE IMPORTANT to make us understand what’s going on in the Republic. I mean, we know stuff about The Falcons that serves no purpose other than that, right?

But okay, o.k.a.y., Jay Kristoff, there are characters who maybe have too little on-page time to talk about them in depth (even though I’d argue on the fact that there was no time for them to actually have a proper backstory), or, maybe, you here were trying to, once again, like with Leonides and Duomo, make us see how richness and power slowly corrupt and destroy, and if you had given us backstories the message wouldn’t have been as effective as it was.

If I consider those characters to be more symbols than, in fact, characters, then I’m ready to look past their lack of background.

And then we come to Scaeva.

Now, if you haven’t already guessed by the url of my blog, or by its aesthetic, or by my main blog, Julius Scaeva is, by far, my favorite character in the trilogy. Which is saying a lot, because I loved almost everyone there (emphasis on “almost”). What can I say? I love me a great villain.

Up until the end of Godsgrave, I was interested in him, but, his character not being in basically two books, I hadn’t enough material to really consider him (even though his dialogue with Alinne made a lasting impression on me) and I wasn’t really sure how I would feel about him by the end of the series.

And then, then, the last pages of Godsgrave and the first of Darkdawn happened and I suddenly knew I wasn’t reading about “a villain” like, for example, Leonides or Duomo, or even Spiderkiller: I was reading about a well-rounded character.

What makes the difference, you might ask. Well, apart from the number of pages dedicated to him, Scaeva has a well rounded personality, interesting relationships with other people, especially Mia and Jonnen (please, tell me something about Spiderkiller apart from her liking gold and being good at making poisons) and is, undoubtedly, the most charismatic character in the whole thing. I feel like what really made his character, btw, are the glimpses of the past relationship he had with Alinne (the Nevernight wiki says that it was only sexual but it clearly wasn’t and I’m working on another analysis just to prove my point) and, most of all, the interactions with Jonnen. Especially, ESPECIALLY, the scene with them and Adonai (aka: one of my absolute favorites sequences in the entire trilogy).

Kristoff wants us to feel strong emotions towards Scaeva: negative emotions, of course (he totally failed in that with me, btw), but you can’t help a subtle hint of admiration for what he managed to do. It makes a lot of sense, since I’ve been confirmed that his figure was, as I thought, inspired by Caesar (aka: one of my favorite historical figures of all time, and kind of crush when I was a child)---I have to thank @kavinskhhy for telling me that Kristoff actually confirmed he was based off Caesar, which is.

The thing is: for characters that are half as complex as him (because he is a complex character, you can fight me on that too) we are given pages and pages that explain how they became the way they are (*cough cough* Maggot *cough cough*). And then we come to the main antagonist. The man Mia has despised all her life. The man that *shocking* is also her father. The man that alone has brought a State on its metaphorical knees. And we discover that he’s actually a well-defined and alluring figure. And...

We get absolutely nothing about him.

And when I say nothing, I really do mean nothing.

Before he became consul, we are left in the complete dark.

“He’s probably only another of those characters born in privilege” you might say. “Kristoff doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing to say!”

Had this been the case, him being born as a Darkin in a family of mellowborn and having to come to terms with that would have been pretty interesting to see nonetheless, considering the reputation Darkins have in canon (may I remind you that Alinne, in her madness, was terrified of Mia, telling her that she was not her daughter, just because “He was inside of her”? Like I said. Interesting.). But then, let me ask you: are you sure he was born in absolute privilege?

Leaving the comparison with Caesar (born in a very ancient family, but also... not really wealthy nor powerful, to use an euphemism) aside: are you sure that someone as Leonides and Duomo would have developed an obsession (I don’t feel any other word is fitting, here) with the concept of “will”? Would someone who thinks everything he has is well deserved just because he was born in the right family refer to what he’s doing as “a game”? Would someone who has never had to struggle his whole life care to develop a partial immunity to the Everseeing’s symbol, even thought it must have costed him an immense amount of pain?

But now you’ve proven yourself my daughter true. Possessed by the same will as I: not only to survive, but to prosper. To carve your name with bloody fingernails into this earth.

Look me in the eye and tell me that this man came from the same background as Duomo and Leonides.

“But maybe Kristoff only wanted us to hate him!”

No, he didn't. Because:

1) a villain you’re able to despise without any second thought isn’t a great villain (and you need a worthy opponent when you create a main character such as Mia): if you’re giving us a story filled with morally gray character, the MAIN villain has to be, in my opinion, as interesting as the others.

2) there are in the story characters you have no problem hating and I’ve analyzed why Scaeva is different from them.

3) there is a moment (only one moment, that’s true, but it’s enough for me to conclude that Kristoff wanted us to see Scaeva as a well rounded character) where you can’t help feeling the tiniest bit of positive emotion towards him. And that’s where he uses his own body as a shield to protect his son.

And even if he wanted us to hate him, that would defy one of the main messages of the book: everyone (or almost everyone: see the examples above) is a product of the environment they grew up in. Violence causes violence. And Itreya was literally founded over a murder.

So, to sum up: we know how important backstories are in the Nevernight world, to the point of even side characters getting a couple of flashbacks here and there. We have differentiated between characters seen as “symbols” and characters with their own depth. We’ve come to the conclusion that Scaeva is as (if not more) interesting as the majority of the characters who got their own backstory.

And you’re really really telling me that he is the only one out of them all we don’t get to know better?

Why?

Because he’s the villain? (Like I’ve stated up until now, this would make a TERRIBLE excuse)

Because there was no time?

What the hell should I conclude finishing this book? “Oh yes, everyone is a product of society and has therefore a story to tell except that one guy because fuck him, he’s a dick, we don’t care”?

If we take into accounts Spiderkiller, Aalea and Mouser the thing becomes even worse, because it really seems that everyone but the villain has a sad story behind them that makes them act the way they do.

“Oh, shit, something terrible happened to me when I was a child so now I’m a bad person, BUT NOT AS BAD AS THE BAD GUYS, WHO HAVE NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO BE THE WAY THEY ARE. OR MAYBE THEY HAVE, WHO KNOWS? WHO CARES? NOT ME!”

See? SEE? It doesn’t make sense!!!

And maybe you didn’t even notice that, maybe you don’t even care, but since I was little I’ve always took the vilains’ side, analyzed their actions and spent all my time wondering what their side of the picture might be, because almost no one ever cares for backstories of the side characters, let alone the ones of the guys you’re supposed to hate.

And when I come in contact with a story that almost makes mandatory to inform us of every single character’s background, because the author finally acknowledges the importance of what you’ve been through in defining who you are, because if you’ve only seen blood and violence throughout your whole life OF FUCKING COURSE you’re going to believe there’s no other way--when an author does all of this and then systematically leaves out the villains (even the most complex ones) from this mentality

THIS is when I snap.

TL;DR in case you got bored halfway through: if you use backstories in your works to inform us how a violent and cruel environment systematically fucks up everyone, no matter their social status, and then purposefully leave out the antagonists because they are antagonists, I’m not going to take it lightly.

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thereddeath2093-blog · 4 years

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2020A_CW-210 personal blog post

DOOM

By Steven Bunch

I spend a lot of time thinking about doom. It’s a rather abstract concept to preoccupy oneself with, but still I find myself living a “doomed” life. I listen to doom metal, I watch movies and TV shows full of doomed people on doomed worlds, I fantasize about the doom of the planet and my own personal doom. It even gets so much more specific to the point of absurdity; my favorite rapper is MF DOOM, my favorite super villain is Dr. Doom, I even play DOOM the video game.

Half of my time spent thinking about doom, is trying to understand what the word itself really means. What is doom? What does it mean to be doomed? This as you can imagine inspires all sorts of philosophical questions about life and death, fate and inevitability, as well as many others. For all my pondering, I can’t really come up with a solid answer or something definitive. Sure, I could go with a typical dictionary definition of the idea, but it is more than that to me. It encompasses too much to be summarized and completed in a single or simple string of sentences. It’s an aesthetic, an ideology, and a state of being to me, something transcendental unto itself.

The aesthetics of Doom are easily recognized but much like the idea itself, abstract and difficult to definitively explain. There are rather obvious tropes and visual elements that appear in art and media that are representative of what I’m talking about; ruined buildings, smoke filled skies, destroyed cities, dead bodies, anything apocalyptic really. However, the idea is much deeper than that. A piece of art, or anything visual, that can inspire feelings of dread, despair, or hopelessness exemplify this aesthetic in its purest forms. This has a place in the greater sense of the word and the idea of Doom itself.

The ideology of Doom, unlike a lot of ideologies, is not one that is readily “chosen” in the same way one might choose to be a democrat or one would take up the cause of conservation. This is a kind of mentality that people usually fall into, and more so often than they might realize. Unlike the aforementioned aesthetics, the ideology is easily explained and familiar to most people. While chiefly the mentality is signified by feelings of doom or feeling doomed, it is a little more complicated than that. A true ideology of doom comes when this mentality is reflected out into the world as a whole rather than the individual. More than a simple feeling of personal helplessness, an ideology of doom encompasses the whole of humanity, to see the entire human race as doomed. As you can imagine, this is not a particularly hot-take, especially these days. That being said, embracing this fact would be the key difference between someone who is merely cynical and someone who is waiting with baited breathe for the apocalypse. Which is essentially what I’m talking about.

People would scarcely admit to themselves, and even more so to each other, that they want the world to end. But the fact of the matter is that most people on some level do. Being a “doomer” has even become a popular internet meme. You get a sense of this feeling anytime someone has a particularly fashionable doomsday prophecy or something like this virus breaks out. People talk about “what if this gets worse?” and “what if this is the ‘big one’?” and they do so in very practical sensible ways, but it’s not hard to see something under the practical nervous façade everyone displays. There’s a part of it that is exciting to everyone. There’s a little voice in every one’s head that says “well fuck, if the world ends, I don’t have to go to work on Monday”.

Now that might seem rather funny like a Sunday newspaper comic, but there’s something deep in the psychology of that mindset. People don’t want to have to go to work, but more than that, they don’t want to be expected to participate in the societal machine that makes people go to work and earn money. Part of being an adult is accepting and fulfilling obligations that are somewhat thrust upon you from outside regardless of how one feels about those particular obligations. People are to a degree forced to participate in a society that they don’t agree with, or at the very least, do not like their position in. An apocalypse frees the shit scrubber and the burger flipper to eat his boss and give a finger to the man free of any guilt of any financial or typical consequence. All of us have someone higher on us on the ladder we wouldn’t mind making a meal out of.

Naturally this all extends outside of working relationships and obligations, but to the far reaches of civilization as a whole. Every person from pauper to prince is well aware, that the “system” in place is not only incredibly flawed and corrupt, but also antithetical to the very human soul itself. Obvious injustices such as bigotry, war, poverty; as well as little things like traffic, wasted time, rudeness, all support the notion that something is wrong .“The system” as your local pothead would call it, isn’t designed to crush people into machines and thoughtless consuming automatons, but one can’t be faulted for believing it so, considering how often said system produces such hollow beings. One of the mindset of “Doom” recognizes that the easiest way for these things to change, if they can be changed, is to wipe the slate clean entirely.

This is the point where most people will close this page because I’m starting to sound like a cultist of some kind. But, those people aren’t remiss to do so. This is the kind of mentality that leads people into cults. Nearly every cult is a “doomsday” cult of some kind. Even Christianity for all its pomp and circumstance, is hardly ever different. Some of the most colorful and interesting passages of the Bible come from the book of Revelations and the prophecy for the end of the world. That’s how natural this all is, how prevalent it is in the human psyche. We have always been waiting for the end of the world, because unlike most animals, we are very poignantly aware of our own mortality, and this awareness manifest itself in strange ways. The strangest of all being embracement.

This leads to my final point about Doom itself as a state of being, the embracement of death. Now again, I’m not trying to get all death-cult on you, but there is something to be said for not only accepting one’s own mortality, but embracing it. The fact of the matter is, life sucks, and not just these days or in a particular circumstance. Life, on the whole, is a tragedy. We are born into fragile bodies against our will, bodies that will very slowly decay with us trapped inside them. We are born into families we do not choose, with people who do not know but are entrusted with our entire existence, and then as an adult expected to serve someone else entirely. We are expected to work and struggle and to get sick and to suffer until we are physically incapable anymore. And if you whine about it, there will always be someone to chime in and remind you that your particular suffering isn’t even close to the breadth of suffering humans can experience because “someone always has it worse”. This is a world where a good death is considered “getting old”, which is essentially just fermenting and rotting longer than anybody else.

To be “Doomed” in this sense is a recognition and rejection of fighting these things. If we are all going to die, then there can be no “good death”. All death is natural, all the world is transient, a passing image. Nothing, least of all people, last forever. You spend a lot more time dead than alive in the grand scheme of things, and in that, being dead is more of the default state. That’s not to say that this is a suicidal feeling at all. This isn’t some philosophy of suicide in so much as it is a philosophy of embracing the inevitable end of all things. Someone in the “doomed” state of being isn’t going to go out and seek the end of their own life, but they aren’t the kind of person to shy away from it either. They allow themselves to fall away and let go of life’s worries much more readily. There is a reason that coming to terms with one’s own mortality is a huge part of Zen and eastern spiritual learning.

Why would you shy away from death and doom if the world is a bag of ass and you’re going to die anyway?

After many hours wasted thinking, I have come to the conclusion that this is where I draw my artistic inspiration from. All of my world view is painted with a funeral veil. I find myself obsessed with the aesthetics of doom because I constantly live in that state of being. I can’t help but feel a compulsion to drive this aesthetic as far as I can. I feel the innate urge to draw visions of monsters, destroyed cities, and the sky shredded by cosmic terror so naturally. I can’t help but express this feeling through my artwork. Something within me wants to say to people, or remind them; “hey, not only are things like suffering and death very real, but sometimes they are the only thing that is. They are inevitable and they shouldn’t not be cowered from, but embraced and mastered.”

Now, maybe I’m projecting too much. (I tried not to be too first person, oh well). Perhaps I’m just trying to explain my own morbid fascinations I can’t otherwise do so with. Maybe I’m just too edgy for my own good or it’s because I have a very strong belief in the afterlife. Though it’s not out of the realm of possibility that there’s just some people out there (myself chiefly included) who are just sort of depressing, death obsessed freaks. However, I gamble a stamp, that considering how many depressing death obsessed freaks are really out there in the world, that I’m not entirely off-base when I talk about these things being prevalent in the subconscious of the human race as a whole. I believe something deep in the human psyche craves a change, craves destruction to make way for something new. Something in each of us wants these things no matter the cost, something in each of us, craves Doom.

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purple-spring · 5 years

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Why do people act like CM is the ultimate milestone? Movie felt so flat to me. Alita and Wonder Woman are better movies showing 2 woman being strong and compassionate without letting audience know every 5 minutes they are women. Unfortunately since both don't have the Marvel stamp on it they're ignored while the former is put on a pedestal.

Before we begin, can I just say how freaking great it is that we can have this conversation? That we can actually compare these female-led superhero movies because there are more than one? What a time to be alive. Because regardless of whether we agree on this or not, the fact that we are having dialogue about this is progress. People might say that we shouldn’t have competition between these films, but you know what? Competition is a healthy indicator of quality. It means there’s more than one. It means that we can hold onto one more interpretation of the female experience. It means that there are diverse and excellent representations of womanhood within the current superhero framework that are courting the favour of cinema goers everywhere. So, I’m leading with that. I’m excited I got this ask, anon!

But anyway - on to the main points of contention.

I can’t speak on behalf of Alita, but I find it very difficult to believe that Wonder Woman was ignored and didn’t get the hype it deserved. Before Aquaman came out and smashed the box office, WW was DC’s biggest critical and commercial success. It was EVERYWHERE. It’s been two years since its release, hence the hype has died down, but for a moment there, it was The One. I blame clunky follow-up storytelling on DC’s part for the disruption to WW’s momentum (i.e. Justice League, but that still did well at the box office), but nevertheless, Wonder Woman is still a big-ass deal, and the second film is going to melt everyone’s faces off. #BringBackSteve

So, anyway, why is Captain Marvel being lauded as a huge thing? I feel like there are a number of factors that are conflating to make it a Milestone Moment™. Here are a few:

Our current socio-political climate means that we’re hungry for a Fearless Girl. We all want representation. Supply and demand. Simple.

Marvel is currently hot shit. The Marvel base is huge. HUGE. I’m mainly a Riverdale blog and I mostly follow RD/aesthetic blogs, and Marvel still manages to cross over onto my dash. My friends aren’t “fandom fans” by any stretch, but they are constantly talking about Marvel theories. Now why is that? I’d have to say a lot of built-in public goodwill. There’s real trust that Marvel knows how to build a narrative and a universe with tight storylines and excellent marketing. DC is great, but doesn’t quite have the same track record.

We all hate Thanos and want him to be punched with thunder girl fists. Captain Marvel is sandwiched between Infinity War and Endgame - an intense period of superhero angst. It’s riding on the anticipation building between those two, but it’s also setting up a new era for Marvel as a whole bunch of fan favourites prepare to bow out. The fans are hyped, and for good reason. Also, we just want all our faves to be okay. Captain Marvel has been set up as the answer to Thanos’ stupid face, and that’s awesome.

Brie Larson is an actual icon. When a woman uses her influence and platform for good, publicly shading an actor at THE OSCARS to show him and everyone else that she refuses to court the favour of someone who’s been accused of sexual harassment, I’m gonna stand up and cheer for that. The utter disdain she gave Casey Affleck was the greatest. And now I get to look up to her as an iconic superhero, one of the strongest in the MCU? *grabby hands* Give me more.

Actual, nuanced asylum seeker commentary in the guise of alien refugees vs. space colonisers? Uh, yeah. Yes please.

(Now I’m gonna backtrack a little bit here and say that between the two, Wonder Woman is actually the better film. Captain Marvel IS flat in parts. BUT. Audiences are now familiar with Marvel’s MO. They know that they’re playing the long game here. Captain Marvel is our orientation and introduction into the Carol Danvers story, which means that it’ll only build up from here.)

And now to this point: “Alita and Wonder Woman are better movies showing 2 woman being strong and compassionate without letting audience know every 5 minutes they are women.”

Can I ask, honestly, why we would assume that this is a problem?

Carol’s gender is central to her struggle. She stands in for the many women who are gaslighted into thinking that they need to hold themselves back in order to be legitimised by the patriarchy. As Sarah from LaineyGossip put it, “The villain in Captain Marvel is not who you think, and really, the biggest villain is just the assumption that Carol, on her own, isn’t good enough for, or worthy of, the opportunity she’s been given.” That is a very female experience. So if I’m reminded every five minutes that Carol is a woman - which, to be honest, I didn’t really get - I have no problem with that. The film isn’t making any apologies about what kind of message it’s sending across, and judging from the current box office intake, I’m guessing it’s a popular message.

This is probably a much longer answer than you were expecting, anon (lol), but I’m glad I got the opportunity to discuss it. I think this dialogue is important, particularly as films and television are experiencing the growing pains of wider representation and changing audience demands.

Thanks for this ask! I hope some of this made sense.

#captain marvel #wonder woman #female cinematic representation #superhero discourse #paperlesscrown gives a long-winded answer #mcu

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empresstress13 · 5 years

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15-23 for Aoife, 34-40 for Ari!

Aoife 15 -What music genre would your character listen to? Oooooh! Aoife loves music! She can't play any instruments and only sings passably well, but she LOVES to listen to music! She's super impressed by anyone who can play or sing. I think Aoife's taste would be a bit all over the board but some favorite genres are: folk, rock, folk rock, classical. . . probably some easy listening and alternative too! 16- What other fictional characters remind you of your character? hmm, So when I was trying to imagine young Aoife when I was first creating her, I was somewhat inspired by Aisling from The Secret of Kells, but the eventual character doesn't exactly have a lot of resemblance I don't think? 17- Does your character have any irrational fears? Hmmm. . . .so, I suppose her fears of being a bad person or friend are probably irrational in the sense that they are greatly exaggerated? She knows that she could always improve herself. . .but she feels that she always picks the wrong choice and doesn’t really trust her own judgement or intelligence but. . . eh. A lot of her fears are currently centered around either Barovia or the Blight and those are not irrational fears. Those fears do end up tangled with her concerns about her abilities and intelligence though. . . . she's scared that she won't be enough to protect her loved ones and that she'll let all of her friends and loved ones down. She's scared of the idea that she'll be abandoned because she's a failure but the idea of loosing them to death or in other ways because of her failures is even worse. 18- How would your character feel about having their life recorded? She'd be bewildered mostly - she’s not sure why her life would ever be recorded? Though she’s also (increasingly) for there being clear and useful documentation about things. 19- What is your character’s deepest, darkest secret? Hmmm. . . . I think she'd be scared to talk to anyone about how much of a failure she feels like? That doesn't seem like a secret though exactly, she just doesn't want to burden anyone with what seems petty compared to all the other problems going on. I think. . . she would be hesitant to tell her Mom and Da about a lot of what happened in Barovia, but also wouldn't hide it if asked directly. When it comes to people she cares about she is rather uncomfortable actively hiding important things. It’s part of what makes her extremely uncomfortable hiding information from Kazimir. 20 - What is the most surprising thing about your character? So. . . Aoife was originally supposed to be a very confident character. . . . I'm so sorry Aoife. ;A; For several reasons she ended up having extreme issues with self-doubt and loathing. I did not mean for that to happen. 21 - Is your character flexible? Hmmm. . . . . I'm not sure, or more accurately I think it's one of those "it depends" things? There are things that she can be easily swayed by, and she can be easy going. . . .but certain topics and things she can be stupidly stubborn about to. 22 - What is the worst thing your character has ever done? Oof. . . . she'd have a long list of things she's upset with herself for. . . on the top of it is how she handled her fear over blighted Van Richten. She was scared and confused, and she made an evil choice. She's. . . . got a lot of feelings about that. She's worried about a lot of the other choices she's made too. 23 - Is your character morally gray or black or white? This is the type of question that I could probably make several different answers for; Aoife has both a very simple set of morals, but it also leaves a lot up to context I feel? She also sees morality as …each choice you make and not just a blanket thing you are. You can choose to do better going forward, and likewise can become a shit person by making awful choices. She’s probably on the lighter grey side. However, she currently feels like she is… .probably not a very good person. She’s very confused and doesn’t like who she is very much at the moment. She’s trying to be better and hopes that will all change soon. Ari 34 - What is cliche about your character? That she's a wizard who is smart and interested in knowledge? XD Also probably some cliches in a former gang member trying to be better. . . well better-ish? She’s a pirate now soooo. . . . 35 - What is unique about your character? That she's a wizard with no formal education? 36 - Does anyone want to harm your character? Yes. . . most likely a number of people in the Grand Wharf were not happy about the manner of her leaving. . . Her former gang (who’s supervisor referred to as the “Water Rats” and the name stuck) was probably not pleased with her running off. . . In particular I think Serg, Lorcan, and the brothel owner/ gang supervisor would be ticked as fuck at Ari, but they’re not big enough fish in the Grand Wharf that Ari is particularly worried about it. At least they weren’t at the time. 37 - Do people have justified grudges against your character? Well. . . she did burn some bridges in the Grand Wharf. . . and while most of those people were also assholes, their grudges would be arguably justified. I think Serg would feel like Ari was “ungrateful” for all that the Water Rats did for her . . . .and they’d be pissed that she may have stolen a diamond from the brothel owner on the way out. . . She also had a pretty nasty fight with her former best friend on her way out. . . 38 - What role does your character play in their story? I'm not sure that I understand this question? Within Ari's own personal story she's the protagonist, but in the story of the Scarlet Ibis as a whole she's a member of an ensemble cast. 39 - What would be your character’s niche on Tumblr? Probably a mix of aesthetic posts, fashion, knives, crystals, witchcraft, and academia? Ari is a bit of an eclectic hoarder, and her blog would 40 - What would be your character’s favorite school subject? I think she'd have trouble choosing one? It's really specific but Ari does really love calligraphy and handwriting - it's just not something she's had a lot of time to do anything with since childhood. She's also very interested in languages and history - but again the lack of formal education has left her current levels of knowledge limited. Thanks for the ask! ♥ Original Character Ask

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