#this is like. kinda vaguely related to my last post and also that one starter i made ok

[elytrafemme]

HELLO

i’m writing this so late but hi i’m responding to your response on our previous ask. yippie! i am enthralled to be talking system things because i like don’t talk much with anyone who i know of who is a system. other than you! wowzerz.

(i am forever and always in the mood to talk system things just because i literally cannot through my entire day where i’m larping as a fully functional and well rounded member of society)

oh yea hi this is puzzle and also worthy (who cocons all the freaking time like oml. anyway he is technically doing most of the writing but i (puzzle) am working to come up with the response. ect ect. idk there might be a note about a specific alters experience but tbh i’m trying not to take too long)

for starters i think i get what your saying about the foreground and background. all though its probably different in theory for us. like uh. there’s the foreground where there are those who are active. that’s where there’s trains of thought and emotions and generally the presence of whoever. plus the like big conscious voice and occasionally a second or third one. not often thou, most of the time cocon means there’s like just emotions/concepts being handed over to whoever is mostly* in front along with their own like subconscious train of thought.

*like whoever has more control of the body i guess

but like anyone who isn’t in this foreground area is off somewhere else. i just call it “warm brain” because yea it’s warm. i guess

plus there’s also like 3 different ways i look at my headspace and it’s changes overtime. honestly at the moment i feel like it’s a rough kinda lounge or something. but there was a consistent view of my brain beating like a stage and having a long fancy dinner table before i even thought of being plural so idk!

to touch briefly on information, i think your posts actually helped me a lot! okay slight embarrassing confession but your system posting actually made me get like anxious. like not really anxious but it perplexed me more than anything. it actually prompted me to do more system research to try and get by brain less anxious on the topic. then eventually i found somewhere that having unexplained anxiety when thinking about systems could be a system thing. idk probably not but by then i had kinda fully realized i was plural and gotten over that anxiety. 

but your posts on your experiences helped kickstart like my final sort of questioning period i had. and it made the concept of systems more like fermented in my brain or sox it’s interesting i guess

and as far as amnesia goes we’re still figuring that out because there’s some massive memory issues going on. and tbh everyone i know is just like “yea okay whatever your just bad with remembering things” but the specifics of my issues kinda aligned with system stuff. like vague blurry memories with no emotions attached. like not just trauma related memories just normal memories that are like that

and yea that’s pretty interesting i think

okay and touching on the fashion related thing, there’s a gal in my brain (Jupiter aka juniper) who has an upmost respect/admiration of dahlia (from your system specifically) and idk where it came from. tbh she doesn’t come round often and none of us know anything about ace attorney. but it will see a mention of dahlia and be like “oh me gee” whenever it’s around. oh yea and this is related to fashion somehow idk my brain made this connection and now it’s written <3

i also wish you luck with keeping track of things ect ect! it’s such a difficult thing, especially for me on busy days everyone can get blurry fast and sometimes there’s a moment where like someone is trying to make a full switch in the middle of class and it’s like a battle in the brain for staying in the moment. thank goodness most classes i can come back to my form after and cat nap for half an hour after and hope whoever wants to show up uses that time.

and okay last note because oh boy have i just talked!!!! realizing i’m like a system has been so weird. but like part of my life feels like it’s been slotted together. and being recognized as plural and being treated as our own individuals has been very gratifying. there’s also stressors but we will figure out how to explain things to the therapist/irls eventually. 

and also lots of LOVE!!!! for you my friend. i am joyful as all hell to talk about this stuff even though i kinda just talked about me and such. okay i’ll end with a question :]

do different alters/headmates effect you appearance in any ways? oh and uhh have you ever dreamed something vaguely related to your plurality or an alter.

personally i had a crisis after dreaming i was a trans man (and feeling some euphoria from it) after being agender for ages and then later realized that there was a trans man in my system

so have a good day!!!! thank you for like indulging me in system talk i am !!!! jumping up and down ya know

-@evilpuzzlingpapercrown

HI BELOVED!

no same it's so hard not telling my IRLs bc even though they hardly know specifics to things, at least a few of them know some of the more broader mental health stuff i have (like a few know i hallucinate, just nothing about what those are). but none of them rly knowing about this is kind of like. so many things i say make way more sense if you know JEKFHSHJKDFS

no idea who is fronting atm but a belated HI WORTHY & PUZZLE!

OHHHH I SEE! that's fascinating :O yeah I feel like my inner world will get more sorted out once i know who all else is here, because when it's basically just four people (including me) that are distinct in the headspace, and all but one of them frequently front, it's kind of hard to tell where they go. and like if they aren't fronting or in the co con soup (or at least close to it if need be) then idk where the fuck they go. but that's so fucking interesting ty for sharing that :O ...

honestly i feel like it's the mcytblr tradition to have one blogger post about systemhood and their mutuals go "hang on a sec..." and then it fractals from there. because like from you to me to my friends etc etc etc you can see the pipeline of people learning they're systems from one another its so interesting to me

oh huh that is super interesting. honestly so much of our memory difficulties are because i am so tired all the time that i get like, mental fog, and then very few totally repressed memories, but like. God systems are so funky with that

question for you if you see this but do you also like... ever feel the process of a memory actively getting repressed? there have been a few times where i being a tenacious bastard trying to recover a trauma memory and i actively feel someone take away parts of it until i can't remember anything about it. it's kind of terrifying but also just a safety precaution i know. do u all also do this?

it's honestly kind of a relief to talk with people that don't know a ton about ace attorney b/c, while we love it and all of our friends that also love ace attorney are like very cool about things, Dahlia's source character is a pretty polarizing one. so I think she's glad that some people don't really know the Dahlia from ace attorney, and just know ours!

also omg if Jupiter ever wants to chat with Dahlia she is totally free to send a message or something! Dahlia does love fashion it's one of the things that brings her out to front so maybe that's where the associaton comes from? but that's really sweet :] for what it's worth, from what I can tell, Dahlia likes your whole system quite a lot from the interactions we've had! she finds you guys rather safe, so you get the Dahlia Hawthorne seal of approval (a big deal)

GOD YEAH IT'S SO FUCKING HARD... the cat nap strategy is actually so based i'm glad that that seems to sort of work for you guys!!! it's so fucking difficult fr. we are handshaking our way through that misery

i totally get that. i think the stressors are like; i mean there's a lot of responsibility to it, y'know? not only just telling people but like, just adapting to sharing a body with so many other people. it's stressful! but i'm glad u can feel that satisfaction from realizing you're a system, too, because it's honestly just. so nice :]

SO MUCH LOVE FOR U FOREVER!!!!! <333 /P

oh damn that trans man dream sounds like such a mindfuck my goodness. glad u figured that out FHDHFHHB im picturing u waking up like. Hey What The Fuck Was That

for us, we don't dream a ton about other alter things, which is a kind of boring answer but we like really don't :( our dreams are very much like me-centric, i'm usually the one fronting by the time we sleep

as for appearance, yes! that's how we figure out who's fronting if it's hard to tell! one big way we found out Dahlia was here is b/c Dahlia wrinkles her nose a lot and has this different look in her eye in general to when I (Mare) front, so that's how we knew it was different. Nightshade puts a lot of tension in her jaw and generally looks kind of older? in a way? we had another front once that hasn't done it since and they looked very differnet, like our jaw was more angular than it is. i don't know shit's confusing but tldr yeah appearance is big for us

jumps up and down beside you :]

#nightmare.ask #sleepy anon ☁️ #long post #nightmare.system

[biteghost]

How do you come up with so many cool characters?? All of your OCs seem so vibrant and fleshed out. Do you have a specific process for developing them, or do they just kinda come to you mostly formed? I find I struggle with building a compelling OCs for D&D games & would love to hear your thoughts on character development.

(This answer got long, sorry.) This is a super nice sentiment, I’m happy you think my characters are all cool and unique!!

As far as process goes, uh, it depends on the character? I’ve spent a long time (years) rewiring my brain when it comes to what I think about when creating OCs. They don’t usually come to me fully formed - I get an idea in my head about a concept, and then over like a week or even months of fiddling I end up with a character for that concept.

A lot of the time my characters are simply people I wanted to see more of in media as a kid! Mostly, female characters I actually relate to or are as nuanced and messy as their male cast members, haha... (It was a trip when I realized in high school that I didn’t hate female characters - it was actually that none of them were written as well as the cool boys in the anime series I liked, haha! Be the change you want to see in the world, basically.)

Inspiration for characters (and stories for them to be part of) come from a lot of places. An easy piece of advice is to make an effort to intake media you like! Read new comics, watch new movies and television shows, read books, play video games, listen to music and obsessively memorize the lyrics - hell, obsessively learn everything there is to know about black holes or public domain characters (that’s what I did, lol...)!

(Note: ’New’ meaning new to YOU - you don’t need to only be partaking of media that’s created in 2021 - you can find a lot to love in media that was created before your time, or for generations before you!)

I must reiterate: intake new media that you ENJOY! You don’t have to like all the same things as everyone else, you don’t have to be invested in the same shows and podcasts as your friends. Varied interests and taste is part of what makes us all unique! Increasing your pool of inspiration will help you come up with interesting ideas, and help you find YOUR voice. Your particular interests and the niche things that speak to you will help you figure out what kind of characters and what kind of stories you like to create! But the process doesn’t end at just intaking media... When you find the stuff that brings you joy, analyze what exactly it is about that thing that speaks to you... Put it into words. Explain it to a friend. Make it tangible, analyze the feelings and why the series made you feel that way... and then take it and shove it into your own stories, lol!

Engage critically and thoughtfully with work you like, with characters you like, and it will help you have the language and thought process to recreate it in your own work!

My creative process is like an exquisite corpse of all the characters and series I’ve liked over my lifetime. I mesh them all together in a grim blender and what comes out is a shake in the vague shape as an OC, lol

BUT... it seems like you’re asking more specifically about making characters for tabletop roleplaying games like D&D? And THAT is a different process for me than making OCs for my comics or original story ideas!

I don’t usually join a tabletop game with a fully fleshed out character, actually?? I don’t spend a long time on their backstory, and I usually figure it out like halfway through the story, or through collaboration with my game master!

My TTRPG characters are usually whatever I think would be most interesting in the given game setting or set-up and... usually they exist in opposition to whatever the core concept of the game is. So, the examples I have from games I’ve played are:

In Cardians: West (World of Darkness: Hunter the Vigil): we played in a modern-day urban fantasy setting, where players were recruited into a supernatural Hunter group that was also a criminal organization that Did Crimes and Broke The Law in the name of keeping peace and protecting humanity from the supernatural creatures that go bump in the night. I played Andrew, a Lawful Good Police Detective, because I thought playing a character who would need to grow past his original ideals of ‘Right and Wrong’ in the name of the greater good would be interesting! (And it was!)

In SINNING ADVENTURE (WoD: Geist: The Sin-Eaters) we payed in a modern-day urban fantasy setting with the premise that the players all Died and were brought back to life by forming a pact with a powerful spirit (and getting cool ghost powers in the process!) I played Cassius, a character who could not cope with his death, and thus refused to use his new powers because they were evidence that he was no longer strictly human. It caused conflict in the group and world, but I thought it would be interesting! (And it was! Cassius was a Bitch.)

In Rex Machina (Dungeons and Dragons 5E), I wanted to play an Aarakocra, but was having a hard time deciding on a class or backstory... until I found out that in the ‘canon’ of D&D Aarakocra only live to be like, mid 20s???? Their lifespans are insanely short compared to other playable races!! And I thought that was stupid, so I decided to make MY Aarakocra, Izzy, a warlock that’s looking for ways to extend his own stupidly short life. His pact essentially granted that to him, giving him extra time to find a way to achieve True Immortality. His conflict challenges what’s ‘true’ living in this world, and his extended life is in direct conflict with a lot of forces in the world we play in, and while it is very stressful I think it’s really interesting to play!

In Lamplighting (Monster of the Week), my character Aicen is an assassin who made a deal with a demon and gained supernatural perks out of it... except I decided that she doesn’t WANT to be in this deal. She is actively trying to undo it because it wasn’t her deal - she inherited it from a CEO that she killed during an unrelated job. (Aicen is probably my character I’ve put the most backstory into, and that’s just because at character creation in MOTW you are given a lot of questions about who your character is and why they’re where they are!)

In Hand of Adam (WoD: HtV), the concept was that all players were going to join a post-apocalyptic supernatural-hating cult. I played Shouter, who was a self-preserving pacifist coward who also turned out to be a fae (which the cult would have killed him over). It was stressful but very fun. I love Shouter. He ran away from fights and didn’t actually kill anyone until the last episode where they fought God (whom he killed, lol).

NOW. THESE ARE ALL JUST EXAMPLES OF HOW *I* LIKE TO PLAY CHARACTERS!! For me personally, I enjoy playing a character who has built-in conflict either with the world, the story, or the other players. I’m only able to play characters like this because my friend group are all really cool and we all know that conflict is not bad - it’s fiction and we’re just roleplaying! If I didn’t trust my GMs and fellow players as much as I do, I probably wouldn’t have felt comfortable enough playing some of these concepts.

I don’t think you need to know every little thing about a tabletop character, and in fact, not knowing some things and leaving it up to the GM and story to flesh out is an easy way to help you get more invested in both your character AND the story your GM is telling! Tabletops are a collaborative storytelling experience, so if you’ve already plotted out your character’s whole story, there won’t be much participation from other players or your GM. Figure out what your character wants, and let your roleplaying and GM slowly put all the other pieces in place over the course of your campaign!

But the TL:DR about how I make tabletop OCs is that I just... try to give them a goal, an ideal, or a personality that is in direct conflict with some aspect of the game we’re playing. I don’t want the character to be undermining the whole game, because that’s really crappy to do to your GM, but I have to have something for my character to grow through or change. I like giving them built-in character arc starters, lol. I haven’t played a game where my character has gotten along with every other player character and NPC over the entire campaign since my very FIRST game, lol!

Also, if you’re having trouble, why not ask your GM what they think? Again, tabletops are collaborative! Don’t be afraid to talk ideas out with your GM for your character.

A final note about playing in specifically oneshot games (i.e. games that are not long campaigns but are meant to be played in one or two sittings). Personally, I always just retrofit an OC I already have to play in oneshots! When I make a new character for a long campaign, it usually takes me two or three sessions to find their voice and figure out how to roleplay them. If the game you’re playing is only one session, I find it easier to jump right in and get the most out of your character and the game when you’re playing a character you already know pretty well! I’ve played characters from my webcomic quite a few times, and it’s always a lot more fun for me than figuring out a new character on the fly!

SO UH, IN CONCLUSION... sorry if this is mad unhelpfu!! My personal processes are unique to me! but that's the point - no one person will have the exact answer that works for you! You have to keep trying until you figure it out for yourself! Good luck! Keep creating! <3

#long post #asktime #not art #art talk #writing talk #tabletop talk #gif #iwishihadhorns

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #239

Thur Dec 17 2020 [10:52 PM] Umbramatic: :O [10:52 PM] Wack'd: I'm gonna guess Batman. You'd never expect that

[10:53 PM] Umbramatic: its the spanish inquisition [10:54 PM] Wack'd: So this mystery guest is a woman with short black hair, having come to see the Four all the way from Arizona on a matter of life or death. She also mentions in thought balloons that

"It's been so long--so many years since we last saw each other. I wonder if he ever thinks of me--of us."

[10:55 PM] Bocaj: I don't think I know of anyone with black hair [10:55 PM] Wack'd: Lucky for her, especially given it's the dead of night, the Four's little corner of the Baxter now has a receptionist. Uh. Kinda.

[10:57 PM] Wack'd: Reed meanwhile has been up for three days straight trying to fix the current Ben related-fuckup. He blamed himself, of course. Sue tries to reassure him that Ben probably doesn't hold him accountable [10:58 PM] Wack'd: Huh!

[10:58 PM] Wack'd: You know what? Fair dues. I did not see this coming. [10:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Doctors Hate Her! [10:59 PM] Bocaj: I always thought of Aunt Petunia not appearing until later [10:59 PM] Bocaj: In my mind she was sort of a the ghost for a while in the sense of sir not appearing [10:59 PM] Wack'd: I mean hey, twenty years is a hell of a while. [10:59 PM] maxwellelvis: As an aside, from what I remember of Ben's wedding, it looks like Aunt Petunia started aging in real time as if the Four had gotten their powers NOW as in 1982 [11:00 PM] Wack'd: "Doctors Hate Her!" Funny you say that max because Ben describes Petunia as a "genuine country doctor." [11:00 PM] maxwellelvis: Ha! [11:01 PM] Wack'd: So Petunia meets the gang. Sue mentions she was expecting someone older, which Petunia takes in stride [11:02 PM] Wack'd: It turns out Petunia married into the family. She, uh. Well. [11:02 PM] Wack'd: Ben's Uncle Jake got into an auto accident, which killed his wife. Petunia, then a student nurse, became his medical student, and then his wife. [11:02 PM] Wack'd: That...sure is a course of events! [11:03 PM] Bocaj: 😬 [11:03 PM] Bocaj: That feels like it fits into a trend with Byrne [11:03 PM] Wack'd: Doesn't it just. (Though I will again point out he is not responsible for Sue having been creepily young when she and Reed hooked up. That's Lee.) [11:04 PM] maxwellelvis: I can see why Slott decided to retcon Aunt Petunia into the grandmotherly type for the wedding. [11:04 PM] Bocaj: Oh now I know where MCU Aunt May has absorbed life force from [11:04 PM] Wack'd: So the "life or death" matter involves her home out in Arizona with Jake. The whole town is in danger of being "frightened to death." [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: So call Mystery Incoporated [11:05 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh wait, this is 1982, Mystery Inc.'s broken up. [11:06 PM] Wack'd: So. Uh. This is Uncle Jake.

[11:06 PM] Wack'd: And this is Aunt Petunia.

[11:07 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, she'd have to have a few more gray hairs than that if she's known Ben since he was a boy, I think. [11:07 PM] Wack'd: She does not seem to have. [11:08 PM] Wack'd: So the Four arrive in Benson, Arizona, and the narration informs us that Ben had been the only one who approved of Jake marrying Petunia, and. [11:09 PM] maxwellelvis: That's what all the instances of Ben invoking her name had led me to believe. [11:09 PM] Wack'd: Look I want to take for granted this is messed up and move on but the damn book seems dead set against me doing this. [11:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, anyways, I guess that means we've hit the OTHER side of John Byrne's run. [11:10 PM] maxwellelvis: Aspect, perhaps [11:10 PM] Wack'd: Sue mentions we don't know much about Ben's past. Ben says his mom and died died when he was a teen and Jake raised him. [11:10 PM] Wack'd: (We don't really know much of Reed's past at this point, though I am given to understand this will also change in the near future.) [11:11 PM] maxwellelvis: This part is just Byrne telling Steve Gerber he can fuck off. [11:11 PM] Wack'd: Gerber, I assume, would instruct Bryne to get in line. [11:12 PM] Wack'd: Racism? Anyone want some racism? Anyone think what this story could really use, right about now, is some racism?

[11:13 PM] Bocaj: Eesh [11:13 PM] maxwellelvis: (Gerber I think was one of the first writers to use the "Ben grew up on Yancy St." backstory) [11:14 PM] maxwellelvis: (Unless he didn't write that issue of Marvel Two-In-One, in which case it would probably be Roy Thomas that Byrne was dismissing here) [11:16 PM] maxwellelvis: (I would look this up, but I physically cannot get to my Essential 2-in-1 collection atm) [11:16 PM] Wack'd: So Ruth's child assistant(?) Wendy is upset that Ruth, rather than just appreciating the arrowhead, started a whole excavation. She has fond memories of this place because when her mom was sick they'd come to the site and collect rocks and whatnot. [11:16 PM] Wack'd: So that's not ominous.

[11:17 PM] Wack'd: We skip forward to that night, where two of Ruth's more non-child students are doing some late-night archeology. A mist comes at them and then BAM! Scared to death! [11:18 PM] Wack'd: MEANWHILE IN THE HIMALAYAS [11:19 PM] maxwellelvis: I was putting something in the oven, thinking "Oh man, it better not be the Miracle Man again" and then we cut to the Himalayas [11:19 PM] Wack'd: Quicksilver has been fighting some kind of war, apparently, while Crystal--suffering complications from a half-mutant half-Inhuman pregnancy--is being treated by whoever this guy is.

[11:20 PM] Wack'd: Pietro here is apparently the only guy in all of Attilan who's not come down with some sort of mysterious disease. [11:20 PM] maxwellelvis: He looks like the Leader, if the Leader was slowly turning into a raisin. [11:20 PM] Wack'd: And Attilan is being destroyed, leaving Pietro as their only hope. [11:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh yeah, he just looks like the PICTURE of health here, don't he [11:21 PM] Umbramatic: gfrtvtigyhhuihjio;opkp [11:21 PM] Bocaj: The funny thing is that mutant and inhuman genes apparently cancel out [11:22 PM] Bocaj: Or Crystal and Pietro won the silliest genetic lottery [11:22 PM] Wack'd: Back in Arizona, Reed is having no luck cracking the case, while Frankie and Wendy get some bonding time in

[11:23 PM] Wack'd: So, uh. Because this story just did not have enough going on, it turns out Wendy's dad is beating her. [11:23 PM] Umbramatic: oh [11:24 PM] Wack'd: Frankie tries to intervene but Wendy begs her to back off, so she figures there's nothing to be done and leaves. [11:24 PM] Bocaj: Comic are you sure you're up to this content [11:25 PM] Wack'd: I feel like Reed should be caught a bit more flatfooted by someone he looks up to intellectually telling him he can't fix things with guesswork.

[11:26 PM] Wack'd: Sue and Ben want to take action of some kind but Reed points out that, uh, they can't really punch their way out of this one. [11:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd make more scooby-doo jokes, but John Byrne deciding to put a Very Special Episode in here has kind of made that feel... not so fun anymore. [11:28 PM] Wack'd: That night, Wendy sneaks out of her house to go talk to the mists. Turns out that’s who her wonderful friends are. [11:30 PM] Wack'd: I think she wants to beg them for mercy? The narration boxes get kinda cryptic. Anyway if that's what she's done, it reeeaaally doesn't work.

[11:30 PM] Wack'd: "What was that about not being able to fight our way out?" [11:32 PM] Bocaj: I think Slott revisited some of this [11:32 PM] Bocaj: I vaguely remember mists and gremlins when Franklin and Valeria were staying with aunt petunia post wedding [11:33 PM] Bocaj: But as it was the same story where Sue made Doom naked on a live broadcast the details escape me [11:33 PM] Wack'd: So on top of these weird things the entire town is now also set on fire and also in a giant windstorm. The Four put out the fires but the damage is done and most of the town decides to evacuate. [11:33 PM] Umbramatic: oh yes that one [11:35 PM] Wack'd: what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK

[11:36 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh of COURSE Byrne has Reed sympathize with an abusive parent. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: Okay so for starters, because this is the thing I'm the least mad about, everything about this resolution is fucking nonsense. We know basically nothing about any of the other people who got "frightened to death" and so as the readers had no ability to draw upon our own knowledge of their morality or why they might not be able to handle seeing visions of their worst selves. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: From there we get to the fact that, for all the ways Ruth and Reed protested earlier, this is a massive pile of assumptions with absolutely no backing in fact or evidence. [11:37 PM] Umbramatic: geez [11:38 PM] Wack'd: Speaking of Ruth, she said that the arrowhead was crucial, and Ben speculated that may be the excavation released the spirits and they needed to be re-buried. They don't out right say it, but this may as well be a "ancient Indian burial ground" plot. [11:39 PM] Umbramatic: yeesh [11:39 PM] Wack'd: And from there we get, yes, Reed saying that their job is not to judge people, therefore they can't do anything about an abusive parent. Which is frankly just moral cowardice and also really gross. [11:40 PM] maxwellelvis: And also a grim portent of things to come in this era. [11:41 PM] Wack'd: And so the story ends, with. I think the implication is that Wendy asked her "friends" to take care of her dad for her? Which is okay, I guess, but doesn't really fix the way everybody else reacts to this.

[11:42 PM] Wack'd: The story is also just plain all over the place. There's absolutely no reason for the characters who get the Four involved in the plot to be Ben's Aunt Petunia--except-- [11:42 PM] Wack'd: Oh. The whole town got judged. [11:43 PM] Wack'd: Did John Bryne really just write a plot where a bunch of cosmic arbiters of justice basically give the okay to marrying your student [11:43 PM] maxwellelvis: RED FLAG [11:44 PM] Wack'd: This a lot, huh. [11:45 PM] Wack'd: Well, maybe whatever Inhumans nonsense is going on will help clear my head.

#1982 #John Bryne #The Main Book

[sgnhayoung]

hello!! yes i am late and my excuse is that i was lazy to write an intro ahead of time despite knowing that i would be accepted early in my timezone ;; ANYWAYS this is my baby hayoung, and i also play @sgnwooseok​ :) i’m going to do a quick little intro about her underneath the cut and also some plot ideas! 

thank you everyone for the welcomes though!! i will be getting to them asap and also please LIKE THIS if u wanna plot and i’ll im you! 

about hayoung: 

97 line so she’s probably older than most juniors tbh but she doesn’t care

took a gap year straight out of high school

has taken 2 leaves of absences since then

she’s majoring in communications! and her focus is public relations

nerine social chair

she’s in the fashion and gardening club

and does cheerleading, basketball, gymnastics and yoga

is a youtuber/tiktoker with a good 800k subs -- her videos are usually vlogs or fashion videos, loosely based off imjennim 

she’s not known for doing well in her classes (a lot of people probably think her parents pay off the profs/school to pass her every semester) but is probably known for being VERY ACTIVE around seongnam

her dad is on the board of directors for snu but doesn’t work at the seongnam branch

her mom is a small time actress who acts in more local plays and whatnot though she was in some older movies in hollywood, with mostly uncredited rolls 

her parents are still together but are rarely together yanno

likes to party/drink, could be found doing this most nights actually the last two years but has decided to try a bit harder this semester

drinks regularly, even like ... when she shouldn’t be. not to the point of being an alcoholic but she definitely has her ‘one a day’ -- is an avid supporter of the “it’s 5pm somewhere, baby” line

she’s a gryffindor!!

catch her walking into class 20 minutes late with a smoothie

also is absolutely down for any shenanigans if she can film it :)

oh yeah @sgnseungwoo​ is her cousin on her mom’s side

some wanted plot connections

a best friend!!! pls!!!! this (obviously) needs more plotting but a girl gang would kinda be coooool

cousins!! on her dad’s side so the last name has to be oh but it could be a mom’s last name?? her dad’s sister or smth!!

any ex flings/ex boyfriends/ex hookups/random people she’s kissed on a dare at a party that keep in touch, you know [waves hand vaguely]

other youtubers/tiktokers to collab with??? 

people who know of her channel and like it/her?

people who know of her channel and dislike it/her/ think she’s a fake bitch bcimeanlowkeysheis

people who know of her channel and think she’s too extravagant for posting a video called “i went on a shopping spree without looking at the pricetag!”

sentence starters

“why are you awake right now?”

“can you shut up for once in your life?”

“nobody’s seen you in days!”

“he’s so pretty i think i’m going to faint?”

“if i die, i’m haunting you first.”

“i’m too sober for this.” “you didn’t even drink!” “maybe i should start.”

“sharing a single strand of spaghetti is not romantic. stop asking.”

“you set the fire alarm off making mac and cheese!!”

“you think drawing a mustache on their picture will make the situation better?”

“why are you always dressed so fancy? we’re going to get croissants, not go to a ball.”

“i will take my sock off and beat you with it if you keep talking shit.”

this got way longer than i thought it was going to but here’s a cookie for anyone who read to the end LOLOL pls lmk if anything catches ur eye!!! 

#( ooc. ) #( woops no one saw that )

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

#purrs #DONT RB #lms if u read please!!! #ALSO!!!! i sound so dumb but i rly hope i didnt offend anyone.... i dont judge anyone but myself for the stuff i do and as for being uncomfy #w sharing my work.... its literally not u its me and my deep dissatisfaction w who i am as a person. and in a perfect world i would b comfy #sharing things abt my life w other ppl but im not and its on me and not bc of anyone else (w the exception of my mom lel) #i guess the aquarius moon rly did jump out 😔 #god i feel so dumb and mean and conceited for posting this but if anyone has suggestions / advice / anything rly i rly appreciate it! #and thank u so much to anyone who took tje time to read this @ all bc like. its a lot i kno im just. a lot

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #54: COVER ME (7/13/2018)

Finally, after months of solid drought, the barren wasteland known as the TØP fanbase has finally been blessed with rain. And not just a gentle sprinkle; it’s been a consistent heavy downpour, a veritable flood. Even before new music, this week gave us new content from the group every single day. There will probably be something new out by the time you’re done reading this. So let’s not waste any time! Here’s your week in Twenty One Pilots news.

This Week’s TØPics:

Your Band Is Back: Trench Coming This October

“Jumpsuit” and “Nico” Released

New Logo/Theming/Everything

Josh Speaks

And SO. MUCH. MORE.

Major News and Announcements:

This time last week, I was certain that we would be getting new music on the 6th because it was my birthday. Turns out, myself and many others in the Clique read a little too deeply into Clancy’s promise that “everything would be different” by morning. We did not receive new music on that date, which, for the record, was way earlier than most reports had pegged. The fanbase wanted music ASAP and interpreted the letter to fit that, and anyone who said the band lied about when music was coming was just not being honest with themselves. 

Things were different starting last Friday. On the one-year anniversary of their departure, Twenty One Pilots directly reached out to their fans for the first time, not through the wide platform of social media, but with an email message to their mailing list.

The message only consisted of the subject line “ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING?” and a gif of an opening yellow eye, with images fitting the iconography of the Dema site flashing under the eyelid. The Clique basically lost their minds at this direct contact, so much so that major publications like Billboard finally started to report on the long gestating speculation. Everyone was excited to see the eye open over the course of the day, bringing everything full circle and culminating (presumably) with new music.

That... didn’t happen. Rather, dmaorg.info was restored after being down for only a few hours, and this gif of torches was added onto the site. This indicated that Clancy had escaped Dema, and the Clique promptly set about assuming that the next day would mark the band’s full return. Further, the name of the gif, “they_ca_ntseeFCE300″, seemed to confirm what people would be speculating ever since Josh dyed his hair nearly two years ago: the next era’s color would be yellow (specifically, FCE300) to symbolize hope and light pushing back against the dark.

The next day brought with it another update from Clancy (and the general concession among the Clique to stop expecting new music every night and just go to bed). In one of my favorite bits of attention to detail so far, Clancy’s latest journal was messily handwritten on a scrap of paper, due to the fact that he had successfully escaped Dema and was now traveling through- big shock- a region called “Trench”. The writing itself is kinda rambly and generic (so I can relate), with Tyler Clancy marveling at how much he loves being in the trees being alone out in nature. That said, I do love that there is a definite story being presented, with Clancy experiencing changes, taking action, and going on a real journey through this world that Tyler’s created.

On the back of the paper, however, is something much more interesting: a blown-out image that, when reversed, revealed a dead body. That was creepy enough as is; far more creepy was the Clique’s CSI-level discovery that this ripped photo fit with several other dmaorg.info images in a giant puzzle. Who was this man? Was this a random poster that Clancy grabbed as he escaped, or are we supposed to take it as a metaphor? Was it a random citizen of Dema? A bishop? Clancy himself? Blurryface? So many questions.

Twenty One Pilots truly made their mainstream return on July 9th, when they posted a second video of a half-opened eye, not just for hardcore fans, but on all of their social media platforms. This return was accompanied by a total overhaul of the band’s general branding: a new yellow-and-black ||-// logo was revealed for the new era, while the old “silence” banners and even the website subscription box were covered up by bright yellow tape. Billboards featuring the logo on this yellow tape aesthetic sprang up in cities all around the world, from London to Toronto, Berlin to Melbourne, even an entire building in São Paolo. The boys were back.

On Tuesday, Twenty One Pilots again returned to social media to post a second video. The eye, now about 3/4 open, depicted even more of this medieval battle, now with the addition of the Watchers on the cliff throwing... something (rocks? rose petals?) into the air. Instead of generic white noise, this clip was scored by a muffled but still obviously crunchy bass line. As radio stations across the country began to tweet about a major alternative release coming Wednesday morning (with a few even mentioning they were from Columbus), we finally knew that we were going to be ok....

New Releases:

And then I was not okay.

Early Wednesday morning, Twenty One Pilots dropped two singles and announced the names and dates for the next album, Trench, and tour, Bandito. My prediction from last week was 100% correct, and you all may thank and validate me in the comments below like and subscribe. “Jumpsuit” is our main single with a full cinematic music video, while “Nico and the Niners” is the more lore-heavy low-key song for the fans. I’m going to pull back from fully going in on picking apart every sonic and thematic element of both songs and save that for (hopefully) a less busy week, but you know I gotta write about their first new music in two years. Cause that’s what I do: I write too much.

Guys, “Jumpsuit” is a straight-up banger. Featuring a killer driving bassline, some of Tyler’s most impassioned screams, and a truly devastating bridge, I have not tired of this song one bit in the last few days. It takes me on a complete emotional journey in just four minutes every time, and it does so mainly through its soundscape (there’s only the hook, three couplet verses, and that damn bridge). It’s so, so, so, so good, potentially (dare I say it) the best sonically arranged and produced song the band has ever released.

So... what’s “Jumpsuit” about? Well, a lot of things, but in a word: pressure. Again, the lyrics are super vague, I think deliberately so. Clearly the song is about the singer feeling pressured by others into taking a path that he does not want to travel down. That bridge, delivered in an eerie detached falsetto, shows Tyler pushing back even at his weakest point, stating that he will not submit to what others want him to do unless they “grab him by the throat, tie him down, and break his hands.” Certainly you can argue that this is about the music industry. The “breaking his hands” line is killer in that context, as it signifies that the industry can’t control him without taking away the things that makes him valuable to them in the first place, his artistic ability and freedom. You can also say that it’s just playing straight into the concept, with Clancy breaking away from the bishops’ control. But the deliberate vagueness of the lyrics means that the audience can apply the message- and the empowerment of that killer bassline- to whatever struggle they are facing. That’s pretty darn rad.

The music video, directed by “Heathens” and “Heavydirtysoul”’s Andrew Donoho, is sick. Tyler (looking extra fly in his new yellow hooded jumpsuit) attempts to flee from this creepy Red Riding Hood old dude on a white horse (Nico?) through what is certainly a Game of Thrones filming location while other figures in yellow duct tape jumpsuits look on from the cliffs above. Tyler is captured by the bishop, who “smears” him by putting the black Blurryface makeup on his neck. Tyler is freed briefly from the bishop’s control when the other yellow-clad figures throw yellow petals down on him, but he is chased down knocked out or killed. The others flee the scene, save for one very handsome looking drummer boy... Oh, and there’s a bunch of intercut clips of Tyler on the car from “Heavydirtysoul” for some reason.

Besides those “Heavydirtysoul” scenes, which truthfully don’t connect much to the story of the video beyond artificially welding it onto the end of the Blurryface Era, this is one of the band’s best videos yet. It totally fulfilled all of my expectations of a more epic scope for this era, from the gorgeous Iceland setting to the dope as hell costumes to the implication that the story might continue on from this point. And there are tons of little Easter eggs, from brief flashes of the nine bishops to possible cameos from the Josephs and Duns. We don’t really know for sure if Tyler is playing Clancy or if the red dude is Nico, but it will certainly be fun to continue to fill in the blanks as we move forward and (hopefully) hear more from Tyler directly.

“Nico and the Niners” is a weird track, but one that I still absolutely love. In some ways, it’s a more traditional tøp track, with some of the raggae elements found on Blurryface and a rap verse to fit all of Tyler’s lyrics in. But in other significant ways, it’s a totally different path for them. For starters, just look at that title: it’s very explicitly about this album’s concept from top to bottom, with Tyler singing about fleeing Dema and its bishops’ control and even heavily referencing “Jumpsuit”; there’s clearly going to be a great deal of thematic cohesion in this project. But there’s also just the general vibe of it: just as “Jumpsuit” was a heavier rock song than anything we’d yet seen from the band, "Nico” is way more laid back, its repeated references to being high and even its visualizer of assorted shrubbery making it a potential stoner anthem (whether that was Tyler’s intention or not). Regardless, the song is brimming with character and hooks, and it’s already grown on me significantly in just a few days.

Oh, and one more thing: this song lives up to its Dema-referencing title and content by being cryptic af. The track is littered with reversed audio in the instrumental bits, including the “we are banditos” snippet from dmaorg.info and another sample of someone who sounds a lot like Josh saying “We will leave Dema at true east, renounce Vialism [the bishops’ ruling philosophy, alluded to be Clancy in an earlier journal].” I swear, if all it takes for Tyler to make all this stuff is a year break, he should do this after every album.

With all that new music, the fact that we finally have a name for Album 5 almost got lost in the shuffle. Trench was a popular guess over the last few days thanks to dmaorg.info, but it’s good to finally know for sure. Graphic designer Brandon Rike from the Blurryface Era is back again, revealing a cover featuring a badass-looking vulture/falcon/whatever, some new logos (including the return of FPE!), and some more yellow tape that appears to be covering the names of the rest of the album’s songs. Not too much else to say at this point; we’ll just have to wait until some of that tape gets peeled off between now and October 5th.

Finally, let’s talk about the Bandito Tour. It bears mentioning that, amidst the otherwise overwhelmingly positive positive atmosphere of the band’s return, this tour name received the most general opposition from fans and non-fans alike. The fact that “bandito” was probably going to turn up in a lyric from two decidedly white dudes was already enough to put some folks on edge, but the idea of an entire tour of predominantly non-Hispanic tweens flooding arenas and calling themselves banditos was enough to turn a few people against the band. And look, I get it- I hear “bandito” and the first things I think of are John Wayne Westerns and Speedy Gonzalez, and I get why a lot of fans might feel uncomfortable with that. But, to be fair, the band hasn’t used any of those stereotypes and banditos is a word for outlaw used in a number of Romance languages. Perhaps most interestingly, there’s not yet any evidence that the word even appears in the album itself. So far, the only appearance of “bandito” is in a coded message on dmaorg.info and in reversed audio in “Nico”. If this does turn out to be a name meant to only make sense to the most hardcore of fans, it is almost redeemed (I mean, I still think the name is a little silly, but I’m already in presale).

So, with that out of the way, let’s actually talk about the tour itself. It will be an international arena tour- even if the band’s sound is not going in a pop direction, they still clearly feel confident that the Clique will show up wherever they go. The first show will be hosted in Nashville (their first arena concert in that market) on October 16, not even two weeks after the release of the full album. What a baller move, and much preferred to the Blurryface rollout where we didn’t hear most of the songs on the record until nearly two months after the album release and they didn’t play near me for even longer. The boys will tour the U.S. until November 21, even playing arenas in a few markets that they’ve never played large venues in before, and then hit up Australia and New Zealand in December.

The most objectively interesting leg will be in Europe from January through March. Not only will the band play their first arena shows in markets like Moscow, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Central Poland, and Manchester, they will return to markets like Dublin and Glasgow they’ve been absent from for years. Most exciting, Twenty One Pilots will play their first shows in Bologna and Stuttgart and venture into the countries of Ukraine, Switzerland, Spain, and Portugal for the first time ever. Needless to say, the rabid fanbases of all of these regions are super excited, and I’m super excited for them!

Other Shenanigans:

While Tyler has continued to stay silent (much as he has since mid-Blurryface Era), Josh immediately jumped back on Twitter with a standard Josh joke and even resumed his morning workout Snapchats. On Thursday, Josh even called into BBC Radio One with Annie Mac to give a quick interview about the new era. He didn’t provide a ton of information, but it was just a delight to hear our kid’s voice again. A few tidbits of info:

Josh reported that he was calling from Trench, I hate him.

The sick bass riff on “Jumpsuit” was born from soundchecks toward the end of Emotional Roadshow. He says that, as a result, it sounds closest to the Blurryface sound, serving as a good transition into the new era. (If this is what he thinks is close to Blurryface on Trench, this album’s gonna be nutter butters.)

Both Josh and Tyler are really nervous about the elaborate rollout, both out of the usual fear that no one stuck around and out of wariness of severely disappointing people when they hear the actual music (so far, so good...)

Trench continues to have the “diverse” sound of the previous records and also was designed to be played live.

Josh also tuned into Apple Music’s Beats 1 for an interview with Hanuman Welch. This conversation was less about the new album and more about the “hiatus”. More tidbits: 

The band views collaboration as a “sacred” thing, and while they’re not against it in the future, it has to be done in a context that makes sense and not merely for marketing purposes.

The band has never used the word hiatus because they’ve been working. They drew back from the spotlight to allow themselves some time to recharge, but also because they were worried of oversaturation (particularly after the Grammys pushed them into that next-level pop culture sphere). Rather than make a bunch of social media posts that didn’t mean anything just to stay relevant, the band decided to draw back, focus on music, and in the process “thin the weeds” of fans who weren’t the diehards.

For the last few albums, the music has come from a specific personal place the band was at while write, whether it be a spiritual journey with Vessel or tackling insecurities on Blurryface. Josh says the same remains true with Trench, but notes that there will be a little more fleshing out themes by working on a specific story with this one (he still says it’s not really a concept album, but ok).

Believe it or not, we are not done. While the boys were blazing a brave new path forward, another bit of content reminded us of where the band came from. Greg Wells, the producer who made Vessel the masterpiece it was, gave an hour-long interview to Billboard’s Pop Shop Podcast. He mainly speaks about getting started in the industry back in the 90s and working on the mega-blockbuster Greatest Showman soundtrack, but he does talk about Vessel for a bit approximately forty minutes into the interview. I won’t give the exact time-code, not because I’m lazy, but because the entire interview is worth listening to. Greg just seems like a rad dude. His laid-back nature and the seriousness he takes with his craft really shine through; he and Tyler must have gotten along just fine.

Community Spotlight:

The Clique took some heavy losses over the last year, as a great deal of old fans moved on to greener pastures. But that just left room for a whole host of new fans to rise to the occasion and help us get through that long drought. Today, I wanted to give a shout-out to GingerSheep and Stolen Potential, two Clique vloggers that have really kept the fanbase informed and uplifted and have been working their butts off reporting on the daily content. I know how long it takes me just to research and write one of these- I can’t imagine the work that then goes into filming and editing on top of that nearly every day. Hats off to you, good sirs. Make sure you all check out their channels if you haven’t already! But, you know, don’t stop reading these. I have bills to pay with all the Tumblr money I’m not making.

Well, that wasn’t too much, was it? If you made it all the way to the end, mad props. See you next week for a slightly tamer week (probably).

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #trench #jumpsuit #bandito tour #nico and the niners #hiatus #dema #top weekly update

[presumenothing]

2017: (fic) year in review

so i wrote a lot of stuff this year?? like, nearly 70k kind of many, or so ao3 tells me. some of that was finishing up old fic ofc (which, yay!) but the overwhelming majority of it is new fic written from scratch this year. and that’s just the stuff that made it to posting.

for context, that is literally almost half of my total wordcount ever on ao3. which, holy cripes? what even.

i feel like that deserves A Moment, so i’m gonna take a moment on this trashfire blog to contemplate this thing that happened.

but before that i’d like to appreciate™ the following people:

everyone who reblogged/commented/inboxed me about my fics, your words are the renewable fuel of this fire (and i do read every last one of your tags and reviews!! more than once, probably)

everyone who sent in prompts and fic ideas, your rampant infestation of plot bunnies (is that a word we still use nowadays?) has pushed me to write things i never thought i would and that’s super cool tbh

tumblr friends both new and old (@ninthfeather, @swingingrobin, @mintchocolateleaves, and of course angelicsentinel!) for letting me scream into ridiculously tiny chatboxes and bounce ideas everywhere, you guys make this hellscape of a site actually enjoyable

and of course everyone in the discord, especially @aonomiki​ and @deductionfreak​, without whom a good fraction of said fic would literally not have existed! joining the trash hakuba club is probably the least trash decision i’ve made all year tbh

seriously, fic writing doesn’t happen in a vacuum, i appreciate y’all lots

ok uh more dumb thoughts under the cut:

anyway!! i do honestly feel like i’ve improved as a writer over this year – i don’t know if there was any tangible change in output because i’m an overjudgey git, but at least from a writing perspective i think i’ve stopped second-guessing myself as much, especially when handling character moments and interactions, which is a good thing in my book.

i didn’t write everything i (vaguely) planned to write this year, but i also wrote a ton of stuff that i wasn’t expecting to – and definitely stuff that i wouldn’t have been confident writing even two years ago. 

for starters, 2015!me would not have written the nagano fics (too much character focus!!) or the marvel au (too much divergence from canon!! characterisation how 0/10), but i’m glad that both fic series happened, and i’m glad that i’m in a place now that i’m comfortable writing them

on a related point, something i was kinda sorta trying to do this year is stop being ridiculously self-conscious about literally every single darned thing i post – both in the sense of posting whatever i want to, and not editing the stuffing out of every last word. first part went great, second part not so much, although i’ve at least reduced editing time from “ridiculous” to “still somewhat excessive” on most of my fics. progress!

...that was not actually a sarcastic statement. please excuse my salty ass.

tl;dr – i’m just. really happy with a lot of the stuff i wrote this year asd;lfkjasdf

#the fic life #on another note #hAPPY NEW YEAR FROM HERE #.........also i probably need a new years resolution #to back up and organise all the fics #my files are a mess #im a mess

[phoenixkratos]

Mass upload of the last few days (+two earlier days that I started on time but wasn’t satisfied with) of the Fakeathon, which I was too tired to post the day of, whoops! No color, sorry; again, I was kinda beat, heh.

Day 4 (Fairy): Musynthe, fairy/poison. So y’all know the drink absinthe is sometimes called the “green fairy”, right? And that it has (somewhat exaggerated) hallucinogenic effects, and that artsy types in the 1920′s liked to drink it? I’ve wanted to do a drunken inspiration fairy fakemon for so long, man.

Day 9 (Elf): ugh ugh ugh it took ages to even approach a halfway-decent redesign for this thing (Faelan’s fire starter, also a fairy-type), why are humanoid pokémon so hard, why is it impossible to find a middle ground between “bipedal animal” and “literally just a human” and “super-abstracted only vaguely humanoid shape that looks way too much like gardevoir/gallade”, aaaaaaaaaaaa. I’m kind of cautiously optimistic about this, though? No silly tail, the “cape” makes it look a little less awkwardly spindly and a bit more appropriately magicky/fairy-like, the hair-hat-ears abomination actually looks kinda neat... still probably needs tweaking, and I still need to do the first two stages, but yeah. ???? (Its current name is asgolan, but I’m not sure I want to keep that. I’m in the middle of brainstorming more.)

Day 26 (Kobold): Vanganile, dragon/fighting. Two different designs, neither of which I’m totally in love with, quelle surprise. This is actually part of the same oversized group of too many legendaries as most of the others, like concaladin and mardolanz and tyregnos and whatever, except whether vanganile itself is a legendary is debatable. It’s powerful, but not 580/680 BST powerful, and if Faelan were in a game it would be possible to get more than one in the same save file. More phione-like than a proper legendary, then, except a little bit stronger and much more of an aggressive troublemaker that attacks in swarms.

Day 27 (Druid): Another one where I had no idea what to do. It almost started out as a deerlike wizardy thing similar to vecanis the doggolich from the other day, but I didn’t want to repeat the same design elements so soon, so instead it turned into some kind of antlered forest protector thing. Or an owlbear in a hood, I dunno. No definite types yet, but grass is presumably a safe bet.

Day 28 (Legendary #1): ...is now substantially less special than I’m sure Twitch intended because my whole Fakeathon has been, like, 50% legendaries. Oops! This isn’t related to the big unwieldy group but instead is a mythical, mew-esque thing that had a name I don’t like anymore so now I can’t decide between “feinard” and “artifix”. It’s normal-type, anyway, and based on the trickster archetype in mythology. It’s not part of the unwieldy group, but I’m sure it’s spent plenty of time harassing them, heh.

Day 29 (Legendary #2): Morphosos, fairy/water, doesn’t look impressive enough considering it’s Faelan’s strongest legendary. Don’t want to say too much about it, but it has something to do with dreams, and that misty look ain’t just for show.

Day 30 (Legendary #3): Will not be posted, sorry! I did finish this one, too, but it’s related to a new thingie I’m poking at this month, and I’d rather not show it off just yet—spoilers, obviously, and also because there’s something I’d like to try due to the nature of the project. It’s really cool-looking, though! So awesome. Easily the best thing I’ve done all month. It’s such a shame that you can’t see it. Poor you. Oh, well!

And that’s everything! Thanks again to @oripoke for running this and providing the prompts! It was nice to finally get a solid starting point on some long-overdue new ideas and revisions. Hopefully most of these will get polished artwork and make their way onto the Phoenixdex sometime soon!

(continues screaming about friggin’ asgolan why do you make my life difficult)

#fakeathon #fakemon #phoenixdex #phoenixfakes #phoenixart